#friend is actually code for future wife

[lovelymagnoliarose]

Colin friendzones Penelope hard in 2x02 with the infamous "You are Pen. You do not count. You are my friend" line. He also begins to realise his feelings for Pen at the end of 3x02 after their first kiss and there is something about that that is just so unreasonably funny to me. 😂

[biboomerangboi]

My friend was watching the show for the first time and they brought up a misconception that I think we see a lot in fandom. So I want to talk about The Gamblers Den and specifically this scene in particular:

My friend genuinely wondered what Hua Cheng would do and then when they heard his explanation they were even more confused:

They basically messaged me saying, wait Hua Cheng would have made the bet. He bets people’s lives and some how Xie Lian is okay with that. How???

And to anyone else who’s thinking the same thing or falling for the Demon King vibe Hua Cheng is trying to sell here I am here to tell you, you have all been duped.

What’s import to understand is that Ghost City actually came from making one of Xie Lian’s ideas work:

Xie Lian is talking about a specialised market here, a place where the common people couldn’t just stumble into without reason and that’s what Ghost City is and The Gambers Den is the foundation of it. While Xie Lian didn’t say hey go gamble, Hua Cheng is taking a risk and playing into his greatest strength and then showing of for his crush is the most dramatic way possible when talking about it.

For Hua Cheng the house always wins! Literally. Or at least what he wants the bet to be will always happen. His luck is just that good. If the gambler wins it’s genuinely because Hua Cheng let him.

In the Den he is acting as Judge and Jury with Xie Lian as his moral code but he can’t just turn down the deals. If he does then these people could go to less safe options (looking at you Qi Rong) to get what they desire which negates the reason he built Ghost City in the first place.

Hua Cheng has to let these people play by his rules if he wants to follow his Gods wishes. So he has to be creative and look at loop holes, phrasing and Xie Lians most important teaching finding the third path.

For this moment specifically giving the options I think Hua Cheng would have taken the 20 years of his daughter’s life. Why you may ask? Well the phrasing is easier to manipulate. While the eradication of his competitors is pretty well laid 20 years of his daughters life is pretty vague.

Option 1) Hua Cheng could take her away from her shit father and put her in an apprenticeship and marry a man of her choosing since her hand is now her own to decide since Hua Cheng doesn’t want it.

Option 2) She has to work in Ghost City for 20 years and is married to Yin Yu in name only (because Hua Cheng can’t have a wife at all or he won’t win Gege) then gets pleasantly divorced and giving a severance payment after 20 years.

Option 3) He could decide life is a vague term and after she dies she has to spend 20 years in Ghost City and matchmake a future marriage between her and another ghost.

Option 4) He could decide what she has to do with the next twenty years of her life which could include an actual good marriage and education. Where she has to worship his shrine and be only his devotee for 20 years.

Option 5) He can literally say I’ll collect when I decide and never cash in.

He can do anything because the wording is so fluent and for Hua Cheng debater and Civil God Killer it’s probably easy. He’s not a demon king, he’s a crafty trickster spirit basically a fae lord.

He’s playing the system and he’s winning that’s what Xie Lian figured out and why he supports it. He knows Hua Cheng well enough even back then to trust that he would make the right decision because he believes in Hua Cheng and he’s right too.

[mntozakii]

sugar — lee haechan

pairing: haechan x female reader

tags: stepcest, age gap (6 years), unprotected sex, haechan is a little bit insane but it's fine ☹️

note: been having haechan brainrot so plz enjoy this

minors do not interact and all characters are in legal age

[unedited]

before your first encounter with the boy, his father has warned you that his son can be very mischievous. it turned out to be wrong because the haechan that you met was silent, you didn't have to know that he was actually angry. he believed that a pretty girl like you shouldn't be around men like his father, he knew that his workaholics father will neglect you in the future.

much to your delight, haechan warmed up and became closer to you since his father is always on a business trip. haechan just absolutely adore the way his father's young trophy wife showed up to his soccer games, coding competition, and took care of him like a good mommy. in return, he gave you a lot of affection and love. your sweet boy haechan who never disrespect you, listened to you more than his father, and indulged into your silly little hobbies. he didn't mind to follow around the store like a kicked puppy as you spend his father's black card.

haechan who can't be mean with you. at first, he wanted to make your life miserable but you were so kind and lovely to him. you think of him so fondly that it never crossed on your mind that he's taking advantage of you.

haechan who whines about his sore back so you will massage him and he finds it amusing that you laugh whenever he moans, if only you knew that haechan creamed his pants.

haechan who loves to share his food and feels his pupils dilate whenever your mouth opens nicely as he feeds you.

haechan who offers to do the laundry so he can steal your panties, he secretly touches himself with the flimsy silk.

to be honest, you weren't bothered with haechan's behaviour since you've seen how the boy acted around his relatives and friends. you assumed that it was only natural for him to be so attached with you, after all you're his new mother.

haechan has to thank his parents for making baby as his nickname because now he gets to hear you call him baby everyday.

"baby, don't forget to eat your breakfast"

"haechan baby, can you help me with the grocery?"

"good job baby, you're so smart"

four years went by and your sweet sunshine is no longer a pretty boy, he stood taller than you and looked intimidating than ever. however, he was still the same cheeky boy you've know. haechan attended law school, following his father's path. to be frank, it wasn't his first option but you had beg so prettily for him to listen to his father.

even though haechan was hundred miles away from you, he will still occasionally visit you. besides, he texted you everyday and updated you with everything. you knew the names of the professors that he hated, his pretentious classmates, and his roomate jeno.

"i want to see your face" haechan sent a selfie of him on bed with his messy brown hair.

"i'm on a date" you sent a selfie with his father which he replied with an eye roll emoji. you probably laugh at his choice of emoji but he genuinely felt pissed off. all he wanted was to see your face and he got a picture of the old man kissing your cheek.

"i miss having meals with you" haechan sent a picture of his pathetic dinner that consisted of ramen, few packs of sandwiches, and milk.

"my baby, please eat a proper meal" you sighed as you looked at his simple dinner, you'll remind your husband to pay extra attention to his allowance.

when haechan had few days off from school, he decided to suprise you by taking a flight home. upon his arrival, he was flustered to hear choked cries coming from your room. he knows that his father was home so he opted to peek from behind the door, his face turned into a soft frown when he saw your naked body on his father's lap.

"honey, please, i want to have a child with you" his heart burned with jealousy watching you hold his father's face as you cried, he never get to see your vulnerability before.

"i feel alone, the house seems so empty without haechan. it is a perfect timing for us to raise a child together, right?" his heart broke seeing your attempt to convince his father, haechan felt your frustration by the strong grip on the older man's shirt. he never know that you felt alone while he was away, he felt even worse when the accompany that you now wanted was in a form of a child.

"my sweetheart, i understand how you feel but can you wait for a few more months? once everything is settled at the firm, we will talk about this again" haechan had to physically control himself from letting a scoff, he knew that his father's promise meant nothing. the younger man headed to his room while he waited for his father to return to his office.

as soon as he heard the car left, he went outside to find you. his lips turned into a smirk when he saw you eating a pint of ice-cream, he was quick to attack you with a tight hug. you let out a shriek before hitting his chest when you realised it was haechan.

"haechan, you didn't tell me that you were coming home!" you reciprocated his hug and chuckled when the brunet pecked you on the cheek.

"i wanted to surprise you" he mumbled as he wiped the cream at the corner of your lips, he pulled you to the couch and kept you close to him. he wrapped his hand around your shoulder as he listened to you while the movie play mindlessly in the background.

"baby, have some" haechan smiled when you fed him the ice-cream. he found it very cute when you call him baby because he liked to take advantage of it, it almost felt like you will always forgive him for his mistakes.

haechan loved whenever you wear polo shirt especially if it was paired with a mini skirt. today, you were wearing his favourite white shirt paired with a midi skirt. you looked so beautiful, he can't help but to stare at your thighs through the slit of the skirt.

"why are you so pretty today? i want to play with you" his hand slid inside the skirt before he softly rubbed your inner thigh while maintaining eye contact with you. it wasn't unusual for haechan to be clingy but he should never touch you in that way.

"haechan, what are you doing?" your heart pounded heavily when his hand dangerously headed north.

"baby, your hand—" you tried to push it away but it was no use, his grip only tighten on your body. haechan leaned closer to leave wet kisses on your neck, he missed you so much.

"no— haechan, we cannot do this" your second attempt to shove him away failed since he was so much stronger than you, he didn't even budge at all.

"hmm, why can't we do this?" his mellifluous voice whined before he pulled you to his lap, his hands rested on your side as he eyefucked you.

"my father doesn't want to put a baby into you and i want to do the opposite of that, isn't that good?" his voice made the question sounded so innocent meanwhile in reality, he was talking about making you pregnant with his child. he must've overheard your talk with your husband, you wanted to believe that haechan was just confused with his feelings towards you.

"haechan, your father will get very mad at you" you mumbled as you reached for his hands, holding them tightly so he won't touch you again. haechan admired your effort to put him in his place, it was an adorable attempt. he easily pulled his hands away from you before carrying you to his room, he made sure to lock the door before cornering you to his bed.

"baby, baby, baby" he mocked the way your small voice always call for his name, he took off his shirt and sat on the bed. you can't help but to notice how different he looked now, his body was becoming lean and his features has developed into a handsome man. haechan held your hand as you stood still with guilt written all over your face.

was it your fault for spoiling haechan rotten until he thinks that he can get whatever he wants?

was it your fault for not creating a clear boundaries with your step son?

was it your fault for getting a little aroused with his little antics today?

"mommy, give me a chance to please you" haechan begged with the prettiest doe eyes ever, you are aware that you can say no, leave his room, and pretend that nothing happened but something inside you was thrilled to see more of him.

haechan grew impatient waiting for your reply, he decided to have you on his lap again before a brilliant idea popped out.

"you can tell me to stop and i will" haechan promised before he unbuttoned your shirt, he tried to read your expression but failed to do so. haechan chuckled seeing purple bruises all over your chest, you must had a steamy night yesterday.

"my father is a greedy bastard, isn't he?" he muttered before doing the exact thing that his father did to you last night, except haechan was aiming for your neck.

"baby, not on the neck, he will notice it" you pulled on his hair to take a look at his face, he seemed to be disappointed when he failed to mark you.

his hands gently groped on your tits and nipples, he alternated in between sucking, biting, and pulling on your hard buds. haechan felt his ego skyrocketed when you started to whimper and begged for more.

haechan positioned you to lay down comfortably on his bed before he took off your panties, he kept the skirt on because it looked lovely on you. haechan couldn't believe that he was finally staring at your naked body, he had been fantasizing this for years.

"such a pretty pussy" haechan praised you and chuckled when he noticed your hole clenched at nothing, he didn't know that you were already leaking wet.

"hmm, it's so tight, does he not fuck you at all?" haechan queried as he stuffed your hole with his middle finger, he moaned seeing you tighten around his digit. since he was eager to satisfy you, he added another finger and played with your clit using his other hand.

instead of making you reach your high, haechan kept on edging until you became so frustrated. he will rub your clit in the most delicious circles and stopped whenever you're almost close. the moment when he noticed your legs started to twitch, he will take his hand off your pussy and let you cry for more.

"haechan, don't be mean to me" you had to hold back a sob because you've been denied for so many times and it felt so painful. you tried to touch yourself but he gently smacked your clit as a warning, he wanted to see you come on his cock instead of his fingers. he got on top of you and let your legs rest on his shoulders, he gave a few kisses on your calf before pulling out his dick.

"i prepped you so well, you should be able to take it like a good girl, right?" he rubbed the tip on your entrance and slightly pushed the tip to elicit another moan from you.

one thing that haechan had always dreamt off was kissing you, he had various imagination to kept him on edge whenever he jerked off. he used to imagine fucking you on the mattress that you share with his father, he also fantasized about fucking you in the kitchen too. today, he will do everything that he wanted for so many years.

haechan bit his lip as he slowly pushed himself inside your warm cunt, it felt so fucking good that he wanted to cry. haechan leaned closer to kiss your lips and giggled when he tasted the lip gloss, you had put it on him for fun before but it tasted so much sweeter on your lips.

"baby, what's so funny?" you asked then laughed when he shrugged it off and hid his face on your chest as his hips kept on thrusting into your poor hole.

"this is better than everything i used to dream off" haechan admitted before pulling you into another kiss, you realised that the brown haired boy liked to be messy when kissing. he was so desperate and wanted to swallow you whole if he could, he slowly trailed down to your neck and started to suck and bite on it.

"baby, be gentle with it" you reminded him as you caressed his hair, you admitted that he was doing so well and it scared you. the younger boy decorated your neck with fresh red marks before he intertwined your hands together.

"i'm going to fill you up with my seed, get you pregnant with my child, that'll make you a real mommy" haechan whispered before he continued to fuck you real hard, every each of his thrust hits your cervix and drove you to madness.

"baby, no— haechan, you have to pull out" your hands weakly push him away but it only fueled him to pound your hole mercilessly, he knew that you were close and he wanted to come together. a few more penetration and haechan felt your walls contracted tightly around his veiny cock, he shot ropes of warm semen inside your pussy.

you can't help but to whine at the warm feelings inside you, haechan panted softly as pulled you into a tight hug. he caressed your messy hair and adored the marks he left on your body.

"did i do a good job, mommy?"

[2knightt]

「 you are—unforgettable.」

IN WHICH—you’re them and they’re you!♡ ໋֢ 👒✧

🍵ヾFT. THE GREASERS࿐ྀུ ♡

⌗ 👒 notes !𖥔༌ ᰷ ﹅ people in this fic refer to two-bit as ‘keith.’ who cuz who the FUCK says ‘he got his two-bits in🤓’ NOBODY! but in the descriptive parts he will be two-bit. ALSO IF U DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT I’M SAYING LOOK IN THE TAGS!

Ponyboy Curtis ;

his class was gonna watch this movie before reading a book. ‘the outsiders,’ or somethin’.

it was made in the ‘80’s—he didn’t want to even watch it. watching movies in class was the worst!

ponyboy sat at his desk, head in his arms. he heard the music and looked up, chin resting on his arms.

when ponyboy seen you writing down and narrating, he could’ve sworn he died and came back to life. LIKE WHEN HE HEARD YOUR VOICEEE HE GOT A LITTLE BLUSH ON HIS CHEEKS.

his friends beside him noticed, snickering to themselves. they shoved him, asking if that was his future partner. he just pushed them off, quietly telling them to fuck off.

when ponyboy seen you covered in the soot??? phew—he questioned his morals, man. and THEN HE SEEN YOU BEAT UP?? he was getting FED.

ponyboy came out of that school a new man.

his ears were hot, his cheeks were red, and he was already looking up edits of you. ponyboy shoved those almost broken wired apple headphones in his ears and tuned everyone out.

when he got home he ignored any questions darry and soda threw at him and immediately went to his room. ponyboy quietly closed the door before hopping into bed, pulling out his phone, and going on tiktok.

spent like a solid 30 minutes tweaking over edits of you. like full on screaming into his pillow—i’m so serious.

“darry, what the hell is that noise?”

“i dunn—ponyboy?”

“AHHH!!”

when he found out that, outside of the outsiders, you’re decades older than him he was SO HEARTBROKEN.

the gang seen him looking at photos of you and immediately started teasing him. he absolutely tried to back himself up with stutters.

“they’re how much years older than you, bro?”

“NONO HEAR ME OUT, PLEASE! KEITH, BRO, PLEASE.”

reads fanfic. look at me in the eyes and try to tell me that ponyboy motherfucking curtis doesn’t read fanfiction.

you can’t.

like bro he’s so desperate for more content of you to the point where he writes the fics he yearns for—got pretty popular to.

“why the fuck is your phone blowing up?”

“PLEASE don’t ask me any questions about it.”

he’s a freak. he knows everything about you. ponyboy’s even began to watch your interview’s about the movie. and your other movies.

literally a teenage girl.

“THEY’RE SO FINE THOUGH, PLEASE!”

“nuh-uh.”

“FUCK YOU MEAN ‘NUH-UH’?”

Johnny Cade ;

seen you when he was watching random movies at the curtis house. at first he was like, ‘wait!! they’re so me coded😛.’ it never occurred to him that you could be so cute.

he seen you crying and something in him like actually snapped.

“wait….am i getting a crush? they’re kinda…”

when he seen the equivalent of ponyboy in this universe snuggled up to you in the church he was soooo jealous.

yk that one audio where it’s like, “how long is he gon’ be talking to my WIFE.” that’s literally johnny cade when he seen that person kiss the top of your head.

“what the fuck?”

“…what do you mean?”

“nothin’. it’s just kinda bullshit that they swoop in and steal my chance😒.”

“you never had one.”

“okay, pal😐.”

heart broke when he seen you in the hospital bed btw. like was full on gripping onto a pillow with tears in his eyes.

johnny was in such denial when he seen you die😭. ‘bro, no. they literally aren’t dead.’/‘guys!! it’s just a prank!!’

when he got to the scene he was in SHAMBLES. HE WAS INCONSOLABLE. ripping his hair out, screaming, crying, allat.

“stay gold…”

“NOOOOOOO-“

was so pissed when you didn’t come back. was even more pissed when your letter was read out loud.

“HOW COULD THEY KILL THEM OFF?? THEY DIDN’T DESERVE IT!”

“johnny, it’s a movie.”

“this is so unfair. i hate movies.”

gets nervous looking at photos of you. like to the point where he tries to look up your name on pinterest before bailing mid sentence and giggling. like full on throwing his phone across the room, kicking his feet.

will talk for hours about you. thinks your the coolest character ever!! defends you like his life depends on it.

“they killed someone?”

“so?? you’re acting like you wouldn’t do it to🤣🤣 fake ahh friend.”

—

“they legit can’t stand up for themselves. you want someone like that to be out walking them streets?”

“oh, god for bid a person has trauma. and YES I DO🗣️. i hope they walk right into my arms, HO.”

all said online btw. he would never ruin his ego by speaking like this. i am a strong believer johnny cade puts up a strong front online.

johnny literally thinks you’re the cutest person he’s ever seen. like his cheeks get so hot when he thinks about you and he gets a silly little smile on his face.

he looks at photos of you and his friends think he has a little girlfriend.

“who you textin’, johnnycakes?”

“nobody-uh!”

“c’mon—we see that smile!”

and it’s literally just you with blood dripping down your face.

Dallas Winston ;

caught a glimpse of you at some girls house he slept at. literally stopped dead in his tracks as he seen you light a cigarette before mumbling, ‘nothin’ legal, man.’

“i-uh, what movie’s this?”

“huh? oh, the outsiders. pretty good movie.”

he thanked her and threw on his jacket before speed walking to bucks place. he had to watch this movie or he’s actually lose it.

imagine buck’s bar is actually a house, kay? dallas sits his pretty little ass on that couch, flips to whatever streaming service, and turns on ‘the outsiders.’

thought it was all boring until he seen you walk into frame—mocking the main character. at that very moment he was all, ‘wait that’s kinda hot.’

seeing you help the two younger ones run away while still acting tough was so attractive to him. dallas felt like he was losing his mind.

seeing you run in after the two into the church kinda made his knees weak.

“BAE NO!”

“what the hell are you screamin’ ‘bout?”

“nothin’, buck…”

he was so scared that you’d die in the fire. (little did old dallas know am i right fellas!!!!) like i swear to god he was so scared you’d end up like the johnny in this universe.

WHEN HE SEEN YOU FIGHTINGGG. he went feral. dallas was like so flustered. he was trying so hard to hide his blush to the ghosts around him with his hair.

his flush was short lived however. seeing you cry and then literally point a gun at a cashier was lowkey whiplash for him.

“what the fuck is happening?”

dallas figured out what was gonna happen early on and started kinda tearing up. like one tear formed in his eye before he blinked it away. but he was still devastated.

WHEN DALLY HEARD SOMEONE SCREAM “they’re just a kid!” he lost it. like actually. he went limp on the couch and spaced out. like damn…his fiancé, who doesn’t know they’re his fiancé yet, really WAS just a kid.

nobody knows he likes the outsiders OR that he has a crush on you. and they CAN’T know, it’s way too embarrassing. like actually.

when he’s with the gang and he’s just casually scrolling on tiktok and he sees the tags with your name, he immediately favourites it and scrolls. he saved it for later when he’s alone.

also defends you like there’s no tomorrow.

“they were hitting on someone who had a partner??”

“okay?? fucking live a little jesus.”

—

“THEY’RE A FUCKING CRIMINAL?”

“i’m into it tho lmfao”

swears up and down that if you and him were in a room together—you’d have a crush on him. top tier delusion.

like if he gets drunk with keith, he will rant about it.

“no—hear me out. put me in a room with y/n l/n and i swear to god they’re gonna be madly in love with me.”

“no they won’t, dallas.”

“yuh-huh.”

looks at photos of you and probably has you as his pfp on his spam. includes you in every other photo dump.

Sodapop Curtis ;

seen an edit of you on tiktok and audibly gasped. full on went, “WHO IS THATT😜” went to the tags and just scrolled under it for a good long while.

he seen a angst edit of you and made up his mind that he had to watch the movie.

for the while that you weren’t on screen, he was trying to push through. he really was. but deep down—in his head he was screaming, “BORING! SHOW ME THE PRETTY ONE!!”

when sodapop seen you tending to your younger sibling he could’ve sworn he was on cloud 9.

“my turn when :/.”

WHEN SODA SEEN YOU GET OUT OF THE SHOWERRR😭😭. he lost his BREATH like was full on gripping his imaginary pearls.

had to take a breather to walk around the house before unpausing the movie. had a blush across his cheeks, i can’t even lie.

when he learned that you were described as, “movie star attractive,” all he did was nod. like,

“mhm. i always knew my fiancé was good looking.”

SODA WAS APPALLED WHEN HE FOUND OUT THAT YOUR PARTNER CHEATED ON YOU. like jaw was on the FLOOR.

“I COULD TREAT THEM BETTER🗣️🗣️ THEY KNOW WHERE HOME IS!!”

he is so open about his little crush in you—it’s so cute :(

“steve, look at ‘em.”

“i see them—get your fuckin’ phone outta my face.”

“aren’t they so perfect??🤭🤭”

“i guess.”

“well, BACK OFF. we’re already happily married.”

“in your dreams maybe.”

“oh my god.”

soda has you as his pfp on at least two platforms. his name on one platform is “y/n’s boyfriend (REAL!)”

seeing you run out on your siblings after they grouped you into your argument made him just wanna hug you so bad. like he just wanted to tell you it was all gonna be okay.

has a album in his photos where it’s edits of you and photos. giggles and twirls his hair as he looks at it.

Darry Curtis ;

his parents used to watch the movie all the time and you’ve always just been a life long crush of his.

like when younger darry seen you walk into frame, comforting your kid sibling, something in his head snapped.

suddenly everything was in slow motion, there were hearts everywhere, he had rose coloured glasses on, and for some reason—harps play in the background.

as darry grew up it literally never went away. whenever the outsiders comes on when he’s home he always still goes, “woah.😍😍”

like he thinks you’re so fine.

he doesn’t like watch edits, read fanfic—none of that🗣️. but if he gets asked who is celebrity crush is—your name is coming out of his mouth ASAP.

“so, darry, who’s your celebrity cru-“

“y/n l/n.”

“but they’re a character?”

“Y/N L/N.”

he has like ONE printed out photo of you in his room from years ago. he knows exactly where it is and where to hide it, but he still keeps it.

at least once every two months, when everyone’s asleep and he has no work the next day, he’ll stay up just to watch the movie.

he’ll have a budlight in his hand as he watches you absolutely DEMOLISH at the rumble.

“i always knew they’d win.”

“you’ve watch this movie a thousand times.”

“PONYBOY?!”

the gang eventually found out his little crush on you. only light teasing ‘cause they’re so scared they’ll get that darry smoke if they push him further😭😭.

“oh my god! look, darry! you’re little crush is on screen!”

“steve, i will beat some sense into you if you don’t shut up.”

“…okay, bud.”

—

“when’s the weddin’?”

“after your funeral, keith.”

“wow. hater.”

Steve Randle ;

his dad fell asleep on the couch one night with this old movie playing in the background.

steve was about to turn it off before he caught a glimpse of you offering this half naked person some cake. he was all, ‘WAITTTT🙈🙈!!’

like he seen you in that sleeveless jacket and immediately fell in love. literally was on a mission to figure out who you were.

when he did? all he wanted to do was watch the outsiders. WHEN HE SEEN YOU SCOLDING THE MAIN CHARACTER HE SOO KNEW YOU WERE HIS TYPE

“wish they’d scold me like that…damn…😞✊”

was TWEAKING SOO HARD WHEN HE SEEN YOU ALL BLOODY WITH YOUR HEAD THROWN BACK.

“…you think i look tuff?”

“YES BAE!!!”

making his name on like insta or something, “y/n’s HUSBAND.” he puts emphasis on the husband because he believes that you want him so bad.

like actually. he’s fucking delusional.

“guys…they like cake…and I LIKE CAKE! do you see my vision??”

“no??”

“man, fuck you.”

photo dumps on insta of pictures of you with the caption, “from our honeymoon 😍😍😛😛!” his friends are ripping him apart in comments btw.

WOULD GO FOR WAR FOR YOU.

“they’re actually so gross what.”

“YOU’RE GROSS!🗣️ KEEP THEM OUT OF YOUR MOUTH YOU FOOL!!”

—

“they have 0 depth.”

“0 depth to YOU. to ME they’re the love of my life.”

Two-bit Matthews ;

seen the outsiders when he was drunk. he didn’t remember anything that night but the cute lil’ actor who was laughing after flirting with some rich lookin’ kid.

the only thing he remembers saying that night was,

“damn—when is it MY TURN😩😞”

WENT ON A FUCKING HUNT TO FIND THIS MOVIE ISTG. he was looking up shit that didn’t even matter to the plot—so he got different movies each time.

‘cute actor flirting’

‘cute actor in old ass movie’

‘mickey mouse shirt’

‘when was mickey mouse created’

‘who is walt disney’

he got a little distracted but that’s not the point. two-bit found the movie and cried tears of joy. fell to his knees and all😭.

he immediately turned the outsiders on and waited to see you. HE WAS SOO SAD TO FIND OUT YOU HAD LIKE SUCH LITTLE SCREENTIME.

but he worked with it. he was taking SO MUCH PHOTOS OF HIS TV WHEN YOU WERE ON SCREEN LMFAO. they were all so shaky too😭😭.

doesn’t shut the fuck up about you.

“they want me so bad🤣🤣😂😂.”

“they wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole, keith.”

“what if i killed myse-”

—

“they’re so find i won’t ‘em.”

“what the fuck are you saying?”

“what are YOU SAYING? back up.”

saves edits of you. he is ABSOLUTELY THE TYPE OF PERSON TO SAY THE MOST OUT OF POCKET SHIT ABOUT YOU IN THE COMMENTS LMFAOOO

‘they could beat the shit out of me and i thank them :3’

‘WHAT?’

‘omg who said that’

you are his profile picture everywhere. and anywhere.

genuinely believe you’re the love of his life. i swear to god he does. KING OF DELUSION ABOVE ALL ELSE!

[punkeropercyjackson]

Pjo fans try to make Percy's queer-coding about men or oversexified when she's literally just a girl.Her disconnection from and repulsion to traditional manhood are combined with an enchantment and fasination with girlhood,femiminity and especially women as people.She's only known violence,abuse and neglect(which fall under both of the former)from older men except Beckendorf,who is black and cared for her out of solidarity and she hated almost all the boys in her age group as a kid for how mean they were to her except Grover,who got picked on for being effeminate and he's her best friend distinctively based on his differences from them.She's potrayed as the best greek hero ever specifically because she defies the ideals of manhood,because she defies MEN,Luke,the male gods,the male titans,Smelly Gabe,male authority figures and because she cares about women and worships them more than she ever would or could any male deity or any man period and she agrees with Poseidon Sally is a queen but never on anything else with him and the word 'Dad' is too rotten to her for her to view it positively yet 'Mom' is like a spell of happiness on her head.Everybody assumes she was ~besties~ with the Stolls but she actually hung out with Silena way more and everybody assumes the third to her and Nico is Jason as 'The Big Three Boys' but Hazel is the inseperable final piece to 'The Dead Sea Siblings',siblings and platonic soulmates undefined by their fathers or destiny who choose eachother as their eternal future,past and represent.Romance,Nico's crush on her,over seeing her as a man she isn't and is afraid of becoming,almost destroyed their cosmic connection but once he got to know the real her and realized Percy's not the ideallic man he thought she was,his crush dissapeated and that was when he really started loving her with all his heart and when they were better for eachother and better together than ever,as best friends who should never be a couple since it was proven in canon that would only ruin what they have,their FRIENDship and Nico loves Percy but he could never love her ROMANTICALLY,he's gay and she's a trans girl and she shouldn't be forced to be a cis man to fit him,neither by the narrative nor by the fandom nor for Luke and the male gods,her groomers who stole her childhood by turning her into a target and a tool respectively yet still expect her to give up everything for them and follow their leads as they tear her down and she just wants to do chaotic yet harmless fun things with her friends like earthy shit with Grover and Rachel,eat cheeseburgers and listen to punk music with Thalia and Nico,femme stuff and be menaces to the public with Hazel and sea related activities with Sally and Estelle.It's girlhood all the way down with Percy,both the goods and the bads,and yes,i'm including the part where she's amab since transfeminism counts as girlhood and that's Percy's queer-coding is.Not a 'slutty bisexual',not a 'genderfuck',a GIRL.Leave my wife alone,she dosen't want to give herself up to please men,she loves her trans self too much!!!!!!

[blues824]

Please forgive me English not mother language

Dormitory leaders with F!s/o that comes from conservative? (Hope I am using that right) house hold! But what I mean is. F!S/o parents still lives in the times were women had no rights nor did they speak their mind or voiced out their opinions! So in that F!s/o was raised to cook, clean home, bear children and take care of her soon future husband and children. She is a bit of a dunce? You could say she was home schooled and did not learn about the outside world and of its changes over the years... yes she does were clothes that over her ankles!

I love whenever someone says English is not their first language but then they have the most comprehensible English to exist. 

Riddle Rosehearts

His mom used to be a stay-at-home mom, but she was a doctor prior to and preceding Riddle’s birth and raising. However, when you are struggling in class, he elects to help you, just to find out about your upbringing. It was no wonder that you were struggling; you weren’t taught to go to school past a certain grade level, and here you are being thrown into a really tough curriculum in a really tough college. 

Not only that, but he’s seen you with the Heartslabyul first years as well as Grim. They push you around (Deuce, less so, but he is enabling), to say the least. So, he steps in and interferes whenever he can, refusing them for you. You looked at him with shock as he told you that you needed to speak up and defend yourself, which led you to quietly explaining to him that women weren’t allowed to speak up back in your world and only really had the purpose of learning how to serve their future husbands.

The whole idea shocked him, since there was no level of inequality like this within Twisted Wonderland. After all, four of the Great Seven were women. Shouldn’t those men back in your world know how to take care of themselves on every front? Bro is just absolutely flabbergasted, as it was an unusual notion. However, he does agree with the whole modesty thing, as he prefers to remain modest as well. But, your modesty goes beyond his, as you cover your ankles and are shocked by how many people in the town below the mountain NRC is built on wear shorts to deal with the hot weather.

Leona Kingscholar

This was something to get used to, as back in his homeland the women were the strongest. The day you stepped on his tail was a strange day because he forgave you so easily (he’s scared of women, remember?), but you were trembling and almost in tears. Leona’s moral code would not let him rest until he consoled you, as much as it annoyed him. However, this isolated incident led to a rather strange relationship between the two of you.

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, you were alright. You pretty much started acting like his wife, and he kind of evolved into the role of your husband. He was your protector, and you made really good food. This was the first time where you finally found comfort, some sort of normalcy, within Twisted Wonderland. However, Leona wanted you to know that he was serving you instead of it being the other way around. He didn’t want to seem like a lazy, deadbeat guy to you. For you, he actually put in effort.

His only goal was for you to find your own freedom, hobbies, etc., and he was not afraid to snap at your ‘friends’ for walking all over you. He’s also not afraid to spoil you, even though he acts like he doesn’t really care. He doesn’t eat anyone else’s food besides yours… not even Ruggie’s. He may not be able to help you with your schoolwork as he always skips classes, but he will make sure you get to each class safely, which gets him to attend his classes by extension.

Azul Ashengrotto

Your clothing is in history textbooks that he read to try and learn about human history, yet you are wearing it? He’s not judging tall, but it is rather unusual. But, you are rather unusual. You seem to be struggling in class, and when the professor assigned him to tutor you (free of charge), he learned about your unfair upbringing. You hadn’t gone to school past the 5th grade. You were very quiet, and when he asked why you weren’t able to, you stated that women were supposed to stay at home and learn to be wives and mothers. The notion was weird to Azul, as the people of the sea had no such system.

He decided that he would take over in teaching you so that you could succeed in NRC’s curriculum, as long as you worked in the Mostro Lounge. Not only would it grant you exposure to the modern world, but only bit by bit as you cook and serve the food and work alongside men as their equal. It was a lot of work, but you seemed to be up to the challenge because you were waiting for an opportunity like this, even back in your own world.

When you actually get romantically involved, he lets you know that you have his full support in anything you wanted to do. He still continued to tutor you, but you became a strong, independent woman. Not even Grim had control over you anymore, and you have even made a threat to Crowley, saying that if he didn’t improve your living conditions free of charge, you would run to the press with the pictures you have taken of Ramshackle and bring down the reputation of Night Raven College.

Kalim Al-Asim

His mom was a stay-at-home mother, but she had the choice to work because she was greatly educated. However, with the many children she had, she opted to raise them as she wanted to have a close relationship with all of her children. You are a different case. He once was paired up with you in a project for a shared class between you two, and you both were completely lost. However, you seemed more distressed about it and he got you to talk about your experience (or lack thereof) in education back in your world. He was shocked that women typically didn’t go past the 5th grade, and the traditions were definitely very strange.

Unfortunately, he is a bit of a dunce himself, so he can’t help you much. However, surely Jamil will help! You didn’t like the imbalance in favors, so you opted to help the Vice Housewarden in any way you could. For example, you would help him in the kitchen, as you were very skilled in the culinary arts due to your time spent in the kitchen. It was better that Jamil watched over you in the kitchen anyway, as he could make sure that Kalim’s meal wasn’t poisoned.

As you are growing into your own independent person, you have Kalim’s support every single step of the way, both financially and emotionally. He is the type of man you would read in romance novels back at home, where he genuinely loves you and wants to provide for you and spoil you. You are working hard and are dedicated to making something of yourself, and your boyfriend here sees that and admires you for it.

Vil Schoenheit

He has never seen anyone wear clothing like yours out of habit, mostly just when they film movies. So, he wants to make you clothes that are a bit more up-to-date. If you want to maintain the same level of modesty, he will respect that and keep it in mind while he’s sewing. If you want to experience and raise the hemline of your skirts or pants, he will gladly do so. Also, if you are struggling with Potionology, he will volunteer to help you. However, you feel bad that he’s doing all of these things for you, so you rise early every single morning just to bring him a healthy breakfast that went along with his current diet to make sure that he had energy for the day.

Because of your mutual agreement, he acts as a protector of sorts. Your first year friends won’t try and walk all over you because you have the Housewarden of Pomefiore backing you up. Grim, Ace, and Deuce were all idiots that would hinder your learning, and he’s actually not wrong. However, you didn’t appreciate how he spoke about your friends, so you told him. It felt liberating to finally speak to someone so openly about how you felt, after your entire life being spent learning to conceal your emotions, thoughts, and feelings.

Whatever you decide your goal to be, Vil will be there to support you. But, he’s the type to not let you quit when things get hard. He knows that you can do it; he knows your capacity. Also, he’s not above threatening Crowley if he decides he wants to push any of his responsibilities on you, as he should be acting like the Headmage rather than a corrupt business CEO that pushes everything on his employees. You were a student, not an employee, and you deserved to be treated the same as your peers.

Idia Shroud

He thought your clothes only currently existed in anime that portrayed the ‘olden days’ and in museums, but from what he could see in his iPad camera in class, you wore it liberally. However, what really got his attention was when you had started treating Ortho like your own child. You were very gentle and motherly towards his younger brother, and it made Idia so flustered because you were very pretty and you come close to his room every single time you walk Ortho back to Ignihyde.

Your relationship started with him teaching you how to use various machines and technology, and you were very embarrassed at your lack of knowledge about these types of things. In turn, you once went over and knocked on his door, carrying various different sweets that you made. Idia was on the brink of fainting when he opened the door to see you… his crush… extending a tray of homemade candies towards him and thanking him for everything he has done for you thus far. With shaking hands, he took the trey from you, just for you to lean forward and place a simple peck on his cheek before leaving. Ortho rushed to catch the tray as it flew in the air while Idia fell to the floor unconscious.

As much as he wishes he could support you in-person, he rarely goes outside due to his family’s curse. However, you didn’t mind sticking by him as it gave you an excuse to be away from Ace, Deuce, and Grim. That’s not to say that you are not growing into your own person and your own hobbies, but in your spare time you retreat to your lover’s room. There, you would do homework and prepare dinner for the two of you. Old habits die hard, I guess.

Malleus Draconia

In case you didn’t know, his grandmother is running the entire land of Briar Valley. His grandmother is a woman, so he never really viewed any gender as ‘superior’. However, when you both met each other, he learned about the patriarchal system back in your homeland (it’s giving Ken). That night was short, but it felt long for both of you as you both talked and learned about each other. That conversation was ingrained into your minds, and you both fell in love at first conversation.

He will gladly assist you whenever you need help with any of the course work. You explained, very embarrassed, that you never went to school past Grade 5. Malleus was very patient, and he explained everything in a polite tone. His retainers were also in the library, covering their faces with books as they spied on the Crowned Prince. Eventually, once you got your work done, you found a book on one of the shelves that outlined the time that you lived in. It was surprising, as there was no such system of oppression like the one in your world, but rather the style of clothing and the beliefs were similar. Malleus read the book from front to back, and by the time he returned the book, he got more insight into your life.

The dragon prince is not afraid to spend money on you so that you can grow independently and dive into your own interests. He holds a lot of monetary influence at NRC, so when Crowley is feeling lazy and wants to put all of his responsibilities on your shoulders, he will threaten to defund the college. Eventually, you start to make promises of your own (because they’re not threats if you use the word 'promise'), and Malleus could not be more proud of you.

[luciluck2046-md]

Murder Drones: Glowing Future AU-Head Canons

NORI & KHAN <3

Nori Doorman (aka 002)

* Pansexual and a top

* actually loves Khan, it's not a joke, SHE ACTUALLY LOVES HIM???

* can't stand meetings

* has Hyperactive ADHD

* has never once in her life broken a promise

* very idiot with names (something her daughter also does)

* she eated a bee when she was five /j

* the popular, gets along with everyone extrovert (something her daughter is the exact opposite)

* has like 7 exes or idk (they're not evil SHE'S EVIL)

-Alice

-Yeva

-[insert 5 female Cabin Fever experiments here]

* Yeva is her bestie

* an absolute unit of a mother, despite her rather... Unorthodox ways of mothering. But she's actually very loving and a very great mother.

* hates Disassembly Drones

* super into bats and purple and alt clothing. Her daughter really took a lot from her personality.

* very emotional (drones with corrupted code are very emotional and experience very strong emotions OR they experience little to no emotion at all)

* will most probably try to kill N several times for dating Uzi

Khan Doorman

* the unpopular, unattractive lovable door nerd

* has several friends, one of them being Nikolai

* DOORSEXUAL /j

* bro has no idea how to care for a kid (obviously)

* loves his wife very much

* bottom (y'all actually think he's a top or what?)

* has never once in his life has been flirted with except by Nori

* and he didn't take the hints until she actually told him that she likes him (wow finally something that Uzi got from her dad :O )

* literally doesn't have exes

* possibly has autism idk

* he's "old fashioned", not wearing wigs ("THEY WEAR WIGS??" ofc yes THEY'RE ROBOTS FOR FUCK'S SAKE) and keeping his lights white.

* doesn't give a fuck about who dates her daughter

[straightbaittournament]

may the best bait win! propaganda under the cut

picard and crusher:

They have a number of romantic moments throughout the TNG series from arguably the first but DEFINITELY the second episode. but they only get together (briefly before divorcing) in an alternate timeline episode which is also the season finale. Also they have a kid together in Picard but are still not allowed to be together She was married to his best friend and he was in love with her but wouldn’t say anything because he wouldn’t want to damage his bestie’s marriage and then his friend died and they met again years later and shared a lot of romantic and sexual tension for years. He openly admitted (under mind reading) that he had loved her since his bestie was alive but felt he couldn’t act on it. In an alternate future they got married. In the canon future they got together and broke up repeatedly because trauma makes relationships hard sometimes and they have a kid together who is named after the aforementioned bestie. An episode forcing them to share thoughts makes him openly admit that he loves her and has loved her for years even when she was married to his best friend.

nathalie and gabriel:

There’s literally a scene where he puts his wedding ring on her finger and tells her to protect his son and the family name and also she’s canon in love with him but they don’t get together and actually she ends up trying to kill him (he deserved it). She’s canonically in love with him (and possibly his late wife). He panics and abandons his plan when she collapses and he carried her to bed (bc sick) multiple times. His son assumed they were together. He puts on her hand his wedding ring/son manipulater (… yeah) in the manner of a wedding. She risks her life to help him save his wife. She tries to shoot him with a crossbow (hot) when she realized he went villain crazy (which is sosososo good for me as a tragic love enjoyer). He sacrifices his life to save her (after she risked her life to help him!!) His son ships it all of it. well actually there’s a lot of build up and they both end up kind of dying before it can come to anything they aren’t like permadead but it’s very bury your straights coded also gabriel has like a dead wife. and nathalie knows her too and the series is actually kind of hinting that maybe nathalie was in lesbians with her??? despite the fact that they have been hinting at romantic chemistry with gabriel since the dawn of time. it’s a little indescribable. gabriel girlfailure of the century

[yorkistarbomb]

This song is so fiddleauthor coded it makes me want to die. So instead i make a lyrical breakdown of certain section to cope. Listening to this song from Fiddleford’s perspective!!

“That evening, just me and you

Through rosy tinted hues 

A promise of fairer winds that never blew”

—> — . —  . —  . —>

I can imagine that this scene takes place back when Standford and Fiddleford was in college. With Fiddleford bringing Stanford out to enjoy the morning view but, Stanford stays wrapped up in his speech about how they’re going to be part of something bigger. Blinded by his own “rose tinted glasses” as they discuss the future. 

These lines also reference the saying, “red sky in the morning, Shepherds warning” Although the rose-tinted sky gives the atmosphere of romance between the two, it’s actually a warning of storms approaching. Doomed yoai, what can I say. 

“Vermilion claims to say the sun will stay”

—> — . —  . —  . —>

This obviously being attributed to a false promise of the future, perhaps even by a certain yellow muse?

“And yet my heart holds close the storm as it breaks”

—> — . —  . —  . —>

Stanford continuously reaching for a dream thats doomed to fail. Leaving Fiddleford to watch as his friend hurdles himself into the gates of hell.

“I could live to be a hurricane

Turn into a tempest, violent, silent in the eye

All whirling, gusting, wuthering”

—> — . —  . —  . —>

Gay Yearning. Yeah. To me this encapsulates just how willing Fiddleford was to destroy his entire life to forget what he saw in that portal, to forget him. So he could live without the guilt of leaving him to suffer on his own. 

“Could it be enough to change the way you use my name?”

—> — . —  . —  . —>

Even so, deep inside Fiddleford still remembers the tender moments with Standford. With the potent feeling of wanting for something more, warped and shredded along what’s left of his memories.

“Remain in weekday

(I’m okay)

I stay for all that aches”

—> — . —  . —  . —>

Despite what he suffered from the project with Stanford, Fiddleford never went back home to his wife and kids in California. Perhaps from the guilt that he could have a hand at ending the world, being an absent dad, being ashamed for allowing himself to be caught up in something much bigger than himself, and leaving behind the man that he loved.

Burrowing in the cycle of self hate and substance abuse.

“Didn't you see the news today?

I heard they said it looked like rain

All the words I left unsaid that day

Stained the sidewalk drop by drop with gray, oh

Rain or shine, my heart won't dry

So why can't I look away? 

The weather forecast's calling for another cloudy day”

—> — . —  . —  . —>

Yeah this part speaks for itself 

Blessed with a fiddleauthor doodle as a thanks for reading to the end //>w<//

[discotitsposts]

true genius-

my actual favorite episode ever ever ever I’m SO INSANE FOR THIS EPIDODE

this is like the first one o watched on my own ITS SO GOOD

reid centered so yayy

this is how i fell in love w him

spoilers ahead

YAYYYYY NOSTALGIA!!!!!!!

lol typical making out in a car

DID I MENTION THISBIS MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE EPISODE

FINN WITTROCK IS IN THIS TOO

the zodiac killer case is so interesting like wym dude never got caught

A FETISH FOR TREES

POOR BABY IS SO NERVOUS

ITS HIS BJRTBDAY IN THIS EP TOO

the cOUGHING

“yes a fetish for trees” HES SO AWKWARD I LOVE YOU REID

no he LEAVES NOOO

lol this guy runs a company

The way if reid was at a conference i’d run and be listening to every word

awww reid’s sad :(

rossi lol “no way” yes way

this is so interesting like how did bro get the original artifacts from the real case (i know how he did it)

reid reid reid!!!!

imagine if spencer knew how many people love him and write fanfic about him LMAO

he’d be a little terrified let’s be honest

but just a little

UGH EVERYONES SO HOT

“three can keep a secret if two are dead” i thought this was criminal minds not pretty little liars

i can’t even tell you how many times i’ve seen this episode

like this is MY episode i claim this one lol

CHESS YOUNKNOW WHO ELSE LIKES CHESS

SPENCER

bros playing chess on break

SPENCERRRRRR

lol enlightening

he wants the printed out version of the paper 💞💞

the way spencer just knew this wasn’t the real zodiac killer is why i was like this guys great 💞💞💞 my heart

AHHHHHHAHEJDJWBEWJWIROSOWBDBEKENFNF

IM SO EXCITED TI BE WATCHING THIS ONE

it’s so funny because i’ll be watching this show and this is my view

the barbie’s r like wtf

THIS GUY LYING ABOUT HIS COUISN

lol reid ended this guy

LOL

LUCKILY I GUESS ITS NOT YOUR COUSIN AHAHAH ATE

FINN WITTROCK💞💞

LOL his presentation

“your soulmate is standing before you now” is he talking about the lady or himself

i remember originally watching this because finn wittrock but fell for spencer/matthew instead lol

i like this detective from the local pd

“where do people find the time” lol reid

dr spencer reid i love your mind

“youre not as smart as you think you are” 😫😫😫💞💞💞SIR IM STUPID FOR YOU 💞💞💞

REID IN PURPLEEEEEE

OMG HES STANDING IN THE SUNLUGHT

y’all have to see this

UGHHHH💞🕳️🕳️🕳️💞💞💞

profile!!

REID AT THE COFFE SHOP STOEOEJDWH

dude has a detective board

lol he thinks she wants to call off the wedding

bro she doesn’t want you

REID NO YOUVE PASSED EXPECTSTIONS YOURE PERFECT I LOVE YOU

“How old are you 29,”

“I’m 30” NOOOOOOOOOOO

nikola tesla my beloved

emily lol

doesn’t he accidentally see a pattern lol dudes so smart

emily’s little smile lol

for he

god he’s so smart

the problem is i think i could understand the code and idk my iq but it’s prob not 160 or above

how do u even calculate that shit

reid’s face is perfect

the taxi driver, didn’t he kidnap the best friends wife from the back of the cab

i don’t think i made this very clear but this is my favorite episode EVER

i’m gonna fucking bite spencer if he keeps being so adorable

finn ain’t no angel in this

vegas!! matthew’s hometown

REID IN THE BACKGROUND

heTALKSK SO FAST I LOVENIT SM

mY leg itcjes

i also would like to catch the zodiac

REID ON THE FHAIR

staring at nothing

HAHAH

best friend activities

REIDS HANDS MOVE SO FAST

i need him now

aDmiT iT yOure HaVing FuUuN

i literally can’t get cozy

A CHESS SWUARE

listening to him💞 💋

no matches

doesn’t he plant a piece of evidence

yep

they found him

o love when reid comes up behind him

bro kidnapped his future wife

UEAH THEY KILLED SOMEONE OMG

it’s spencer reid’s world we’re just living in it

bro said “sanctimonious” wtf does that mean

“not really” 💞💞💞💞💞

the vest 😫😫💞💞

i don’t think harvey here is going to shanghai anymore he going to jail

SULPHURIC ACID dude that’s insane

LOL REID “i’m sure he’ll send you a postcard”

AWWW REID AND HIS COFFEE

THE BIRTHDAY PARTY

spencer reid you’ve made the biggest difference in my life 💘💘💘

AWWWWWW HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPENCER

lol morgan the way he’s in his 40s now😭

awww him blowing out the candles he looks so happy

the end

MY FAVORITE EPISODE MWAH MY BELOVED 💋💋💋💋

[fallen-gabrielle]

Presidential/White House AU Headcanons compilation

Hello KND fandom! With friends from the discord server, we expanded the fake future from Operation: W.H.I.T.E.H.O.U.S.E. and made it an actual alternate universe/future.

I also decided to write a fanfic about it based on the headcanons we came up with 👀: Wrath of The White House, title suggested by @scarlett-v-the-fox. She also came up with a lot of headcanons about Lizzie's alien specie.

Many things come from the fact that President Uno gives major "I cheat on my wife with my secretary" vibes and we all just rolled with the idea. So yes, in this AU and fic, Adults!Nigel/Kuki is a thing and things get cra-zy between them, so I'm warning you, there will be a lot of adult stuff under the cut, such as freaky physical intimacy. If you don't like it for any reason, don't go further.

There's also a few things I left out from the list, because it would be kind of spoilery for the fic, but with this list you already know where you're getting yourself into, so no big surprises.

I will probably reblog this post when we explore the other characters not so mentioned here, but this is a good base to start.

Ok, are you ready for it? Remember, the following might make you uncomfortable so if you don't want to read it, just keep scrolling.

HEY I WARNED YOU, THERE WILL BE REALLY ADULT THEMED TOPICS, THIS IS MY FINAL WARNING, DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT THINGS YOU DIDN'T WANT TO SEE CUZ I GAVE TWO BIG WARNINGS ABOUT IT! FINAL CHANCE TO TURN BACK!!!

The main things that can be hard to read are: kinks, torture, domestic and child abuse. All of this will be explored in some degrees in the fic.

We good? Okay, here it is then!

President Nigel Uno/Wrath -Won the elections through shady means: bribes, blackmail and other illegal stuff. -He made it possible for him to be President for life -He's in charge of the English mob, who he sent people to do the dirty work -He also has his personal army of demons as henchmen who helped him with the shady means to become president -He has powers, but he hides them very well in the face of the public. -The whole demon lineage is a family secret that he didn't even tell Lizzie. -He is known in the undergrounds as Wrath and you really don't want to piss him off. -His silhouette form is the classic pitch black suit, he has claws and a dragon tail, as well as straight horns on his forehead. His hair is messy in this form as well. -He's an asshole. He cares more about his hair than his heir (plz laugh at this) -He had many love affairs but only a few were consistant (a lot of one night stand). He only had one kid out of it with Rachel. -He uses a lot of hair gel. When he doesn't, his hair are messy just like his son's (they basically have the same haircut if not combed)

Nigel and Kuki (that's where the freaky bed stuff is, guys) -They fuck in secret but some people know what's going on. -They get crazy in the sack, with a shit tons of kinks. -Seriously, they try stuff in the bedroom, they're really creative. Tickling that Nigel actually enjoyed, Kuki liking having her hair pulled a little bit. They both bite and love it. -Their kinks involve leather, chains and extreme role plays (she has a collar with his name on it) -Technically they're switches, they take turns on who's the dominant one, but Nigel secretely likes being the sub in their relationship bc he gets a break from being in charge, and he gets praised. He can't hear "good boy" without blushing. -They can't go to specialized clubs because they can be regognized so they do it in private places -They have a code in little gestures to warn the other when they want each other. When she fixes his ties for exemple. -Their relationship is purely physical intimacy, there is no romantic emotion between them. -Outside of the bedroom, and off duty, they're just friends. -After the act, Nigel and Kuki share some fluff moment, where they simply like the presence of each other and like to snuggle. -She is serious, strict and stern as the secretary but in private with Nigel she loosens up and is a real tigress in bed. -"I will work late tonight honey" => is actually with Kuki -In the morning, Kuki likes to exchange her glasses with his just for fun, but one time they actually had to rush to get out and still had the wrong glasses on their faces. For those who didn't already know about them, that's how they learned what's going on -Kuki always travels with him on his trips

Nigel and Rachel (plus her family) -He had an affair with her during the early years of his marriage with Lizzie. -They're still in love even to this day -They had a daughter together named Lucy, 14 years old -Nigel loves his daughter very much, she's his little princess -He clearly has a favorite, and it's his daughter -They've been keeping their love affair a secret from everyone, mostly -Rachel is also hiding her daughter from most people's knolwedge -Rachel ended her relationship with Nigel and put an end to his secret visits to his daughter because things got sus and Nigel was also starting to change as he became greedier and lusted for more powers. He wasn't the man she fell in love with anymore. -Nigel sends her money to support their daughter but Rachel never accepted the money as it comes from corrupted/dirty money. -Rachel is the head of national security -She knows all the hacking tricks in the book. She can bypass a n y t h i n g -Harvey knows about the secret child and absolutely despises Nigel (and so does he)

Nigel and Lizzie -Lizzie is the same overbearing and annoying person as ever -Lizzie suspects that Nigel has an affair with Kuki Sanban. -She has no clue about Rachel and the illegitimate daughter. But when she learns that fact, all hell will break loose -She will especially be super mad that Nigel got a daughter with another woman and she didn't. -When she does get a confirmation about Kuki, she has to keep it down because the scandal would be too much to handle. Also, Nigel would be worse to her if she throws fits. -She doesn't know the extent of what Nigel is doing with Kuki, just that he's cheating on her with the secretary -When they do get intimate, it's the most boring stuff ever. -Nigel absolutely doesn't know she's an alien. When he finds out, he sends her to Area 51 -He will torture her to know why she was sent to earth

Nigel and his parents/relatives -Actually the only people he's not a complete douchbag to. -He really loves his parents and they love him too. He just never has the time to visit them as much as he would want to. -But they still never approved of Lizzie. They hate her. -Mrs Uno occasionally mentions divorce to her son so that Nigel would someday click and dump Lizzie -Nigel is also close to his uncle Benedict. He taught his nephew how to use his powers when he got them in his 20s.

Nigel and Shirley -They have a very cold relationship -Nigel doesn't care much for his son's existence except when it comes to his own image -Nigel is more neglectful towards his son than he is verbally or physically abusive towards him -Nigel insists on his son being proper all the time. -He combs his son's hair whenever he thinks it's not perfect -When Shirley gets his alien genes activated and apparent, Nigel absolutely hates it and cuts them off violently. -He always scolds Shirley for being ‘too noisy/agitated’ when they visit his parents because they’re old people so therefore they mustn’t be rushed. But Monty and Margaret really don’t mind their grandson for doing what a kid is supposed to do. -Shirley doesn't know his dad has affairs and just thinks he's always busy on business trip and extended meetings. -Viggo finding dogs’ collars in his dad’s stuff: "wait, he secretly has a dog? And he always refused that I get one myself !!!" Poor boy doesn't know what this really means

Shirley/Viggo -He's part human/demon and uvinea (alien part) -He doesn't know his true lineage on either side (yet) -At some point, he will start having flowers growing on his head -His vines can be torn apart and it hurts, but they will grow back -He doesn't know anything about his father's infidelity drama, including his older half sister -He really despises his dad in general -He admires Numbuh 1, whom he doesn't actually know that's his dad -I let you imagine the shock when he'll find out the truth xD -Leopold Lincoln/Numbuh 5'000 is his best friend -Shirley spends some times at the Lincolns', because Leo's dad is so much nicer than his own and wishes to have a dad like Leo's -Despite how dysfunctional his family is, Shirley still hopes that one day they could be a "normal family". -He loves his grandparents a lot (who doesn't tbh) -Nigel and Lizzie fight a lot for small things as well as the bigger ones (Nigel’s cheating for exemple) and it’s too much for Shirley so he goes to his grandparents’ place to have some calm and wholesomeness or sometimes to the Lincolns' -He hates the cold

Fanny & Patton plus friends -They're married and have a daughter -Her name is Sheila and her codename is Numbuh 860, soopreme leader -Patton is in the army but doesn't have a high position -He has to put up with Wally's bs all the time -He's away from home a lot -Fanny, as head of Nigel's security guards, records the shenanigans between the President and his Secretary and keeps the tapes as off-brand for herself. -She's actually supposed to delete anything scandalous about the President but eh, she sometimes blackmails Nigel with it. -She sometimes watches it with her colleague Chad and her husband when he gets back home -They all treat it like it's a fictional tv drama show -Therefore, they know all the dirty little secrets the President Uno has in the sack -She gossips about everything going on in the White House with her colleagues but makes sure nothing get out really (her boss is Nigel, remember) -Fanny actually does know about the Nigel/Rachel affair, because she is friend with Rachel -Fanny talks Rachel into watching the tapes. Rachel reluctantly agrees, and she's speechless until she mutters over halfway in, "Why couldn't we do any of that stuff? Damn."

Abigail Lincoln -Married to Maurice, he took her last name. -She was arrested under false accusations/She tried to organize a coup against his administration and failed -Nigel tortures her to get info from her (mostly about the knd) -She lost her right eye during one torture session -She was never decomissioned as she was tasked as a teenager and later as an adult to look after Nigel. Obviously she failed. -She is constantly tormenting herself about the fact she wasn't able to save Nigel -She was also part of Nigel's administration and she refused to help him in his corruption

Leopold/Numbuh 5'000 -His dad is Maurice -He's Shirley's best friend and always calls him by his nickname Viggo -He doesn't freak out nor is scared of his friend when he gets his powers -He kinda fanboys about it, actually, which makes Viggo cringe a few times -He writes and collect letters from the family for his mom. -He sneaks into the prison to bring her the letters and pastries his dad baked for his wife -He has to make his visits more sparce to avoid getting caught -“Dad misses you” “Dad brought you this” “Dad is working on your case” -He failed to protect his mom from being jailed and feels really guilty about it -He's a brave kid, but he still cries late at night for his mother. -His aunt Cree also helped raising him while Abby is imprisoned

[karasbroken]

Another little moment from Can't Get Fooled Again. I was trying to find something a little more light-hearted, and settled on John being total crushed when Not-Aeryn sits on Not-Dargo's lap instead of his.

First of all it almost seems wrong to admire Not-Aeryn's thigh but how can it be helped? (Is she wearing gray velvet?!)

Second you can just watch the life drain out of his eyes as John sinks down and leans in. It's not overdone, he's not visibly seething with jealousy, but it hurts. Oh it hurts.

Wow, I had way too long on the shuttle today, cut tagging the rest of this because I love your dash....

I do a lot of thinking about where exactly John and Aeryn are emotionally and as a couple at various points in time. It seems clear in canon as it can be without seeing them in bed, that at some point between mid-Mind the Baby and Look At The Princess they started frelling. Aeryn wouldn't have been so cuddly and kissy in the LATP1 cockpit scene without some preface.

Their conflict, textually, is Aeryn being uncomfortable with their arrangement becoming a regular thing. She doesn't want John to think she's there to service him whenever he's horny. She wants to keep pretending to herself that they just occasionally clear the pipes with each other, just crew mates helping each other out.

(Huh, when I put it that way, given how "masculine" they portray Aeryn, their whole interaction feels sort of weirdly queer-coded: 'no homo' as long as no one catches feelings or admits they like it. Is there fic out there with a gender swapped Aeryn? Could be interesting.)

Anyway... they're fighting because Aeryn doesn't want them to even have a situationship let alone a full relationship with feelings, which is what John is trying to move them toward.

Why am I talking about LATP? Well a couple reasons. While up to this point in Won't Get Fooled Again, John has had some distressing things happen--being held down by orderlies, scolded by his best friend, made to go to therapy--most of the stress has been from him reacting to the likelihood that he was captured and having his mind screwed with again.

The actual illusions, other than being absurd, have been fairly benign. Then right after he says he's going to foil his captors by not reacting, "Aeryn" shows up and does something that causes a reaction. That actually wounds John. He's not truly insecure about being thought of as a failure by DK, or not good enough as an engineer and astronaut. But not good enough for Aeryn? Yeah, that's in there.

And that points to where they are in their relationship right now. Which is not having one, and I suspect very much not talking about it. LATP was spent breaking them apart as a couple very forcefully. Separated by their own desires and fears, by physical distance, heck by physical states of being, by legality and ritual, by children, by necessity, by multiple other people being or wanting to be with them, and of course by Scorpius.

Their moment at the end of LATP3 didn't heal those fractures. Knowing them, in some ways it made them worse. Something that probably would have been the final barrier keeping them apart--inability to have children together--is not a factor. Suddenly a relationship that feels impossible to have for all those reasons, becomes possible again because they are highly compatible. But the obstacles are still there.

Won't Get Fooled Again is only one episode away from LATP3. The intervening episode we see Aeryn get emotional about a frelling service animal. Aeryn. This woman is not okay. This is not an Aeryn that is having conversations about their future with John. She's over-wound and doesn't know what she wants. But I can almost guarantee you they're not frelling right now.

And John... Do you think he's not having feelings himself? He just left a child behind (the daddy issues popping off in this episode were not a coincidence). He just married and then immediately not only left his wife, he slept with another woman too, not even Aeryn! I think John is feeling a lot of things about his own suitability as a father and mate. That he's questioning his morals.

Is Aeryn really what he wants? He has had all these thoughts about other women, maybe that's who he really is, a Captain Kirk. Maybe that's what makes sense when you're lost in space, trying to get home, no matter how you might feel about that hot alien who you trust with your life but not your heart.

In this tiny moment Not-Aeryn doesn't want him, and he doesn't fight it because maybe she shouldn't. Maybe nothing is ever going to happen and he needs to just get over it. So he gets crushed but he doesn't make a big deal about it because none of this is real, and even if it were, there's nothing he can do to force Aeryn to be who he wishes she was. Maybe he wouldn't want her even if she were.

Actual Aeryn never shows up in this episode, and she doesn't come to save him. And I think that's interesting, but something to explore another day.

[loremaster]

the premise of rain code band au

so you have context for whatever i end up drawing for it

so yakou started out in a band with yomi and friends (probably like. seth and dominic... no martina yet), he was the guitarist and yomi was the singer... they definitely dated though neither of them would ever admit to it now

but yomi of course is an asshole with a big ego that keeps getting worse, yakou puts up with it until he meets his (future) wife who convinces him to stand up for himself. yomi of course does not take it well, invites martina into the band and starts dating her instead. yakou gets ostracized by the rest of the group and quits the band, settles down, gets married.

she isn't a musician but she's still got a beautiful singing voice. she loves to sing along to his guitar playing. but eventually she dies (probably due to medical malpractice. fucking huesca) and yakou gets so depressed he doesn't touch his guitar again for years

meanwhile the whole world is obsessed with famous pop idol SHINIGAMI!!!!!! despite (or because of?) her abrasive personality she has tons of die-hard fans... but nobody knows anything about her personal life. she's a total mystery off the stage!

shinigami's success is really due to yuma and makoto (twins??? idk). makoto is her pr manager who handles her public image and her schedule; yuma is her creative director and songwriter, the genius behind her catchy tunes.

yuma is very competent at his job but is not enjoying his life. he feels immense responsibility for her success, and overworks himself so shinigami can keep topping the charts. he's not much fun to be around, and doesn't trust anyone else with his duties. shinigami and makoto conspire against him for his own sake, and fire him - or at least, send him on an indefinite leave. shinigami says his songs are shit. he takes her seriously.

yuma is moping down the streets when he meets yakou, also down on his luck... yakou takes pity on the kid and gives him a place to stay. he has no idea who yuma really is, and yuma doesn't tell him - mostly because of the shame of being fired. so yakou treats him like an unpaid intern.

somehow yuma ends up inspiring yakou to pick up his guitar again... which inspires yakou to put out a flyer for band auditions. he's not expecting any responses, but halara, desuhiko, fubuki, and vivia show up and he's impressed with all four of them!!! NOW THEY'RE A BAND!!!!

but... they start out as a cover band because they have no original songs. (desuhiko tries to write original songs. they are very bad.) yuma wants to help but he doesn't want to make himself a big deal... so he ends up sneakily slipping a song he's anonymously written under the studio door for yakou to find. the song is great... but the other band members can't seem to get the hang of it.

from then on the story would take more of an episodic nature, where yuma gets to know each of the band members' idiosyncrasies and learn how to write music (still anonymously) that fits their style. (i'd actually imagine the audience wouldn't know yuma's deal yet either, that'd be like... an end of the season reveal. i guess i'm imagining this as an anime huh) and in spending time with each of them he gets to actually befriend them as well and invigorate their passion for the band and willingness to work together. each time they'd get a cool new song that has a cool new solo for the focus character/instrument of each... episode? yeah

i'm going to post more about what those individual character based adventures will be later (feel free to supplement with your own ideas)

for now i am tired good night

[britt-kageryuu]

It's mid day, and Leo is playing Kirby and the Forgotten Land. His model is in his favorite beachwear on the beach set with the inflatable chair/table. River is a bit distracted with a prop robot labeled 'Spam Bot', she's working on her form.

"We got invited to a wedding recently, and I still find it weird." Leo says while attempting to get to the mini boss for a Waddle Dee challenge. Chat was asking for the story, while some were shouting at Leo to go after challenges he already finished.

"Okay, so the weird part is that half of us are invited from the Brides side, and the half from the Grooms side!" Leo exclaims with some amusement, he sees requests for further explanation. "Red is in the same league as the Bride, and Mandarin is his guest, since Star Warrior is already in the wedding party! I was invited by the Groom, and Dee is my guest because why not?" He pauses to take a breath, and a drink, "And as for why I was invited by the Groom? I accidentally ended his winning streak, but it unintentionally led to his meeting his future wife!" He does jazz hands for a odd effect.

River pops up holding the head of the bot, "Your Swordsman was busy?"

Leo turns to stare at River with a flat look, "No, he's visiting family around the same time as the wedding." He turns back to the game, "Besides he isn't as big into Wrestling as his friend, and would only have me and my brothers as company for the whole thing."

River doesn't look fully convinced, but let it go, "When is the wedding anyway?"

"Let me check." His model mimics grabbing his phone, "Okay, it's in a couple months, apparently the Bride had big plans to get married on a specific day, and nothing is going to stop her." He puts his phone down, "They did at least give us a more loose dress code for the whole event, just the standard 'Only the Bride can wear White' and you need to cover the essentials."

Leo just barely gets passed a time trial because of a tricky multiple jump area. He lets out a sigh of relief.

"Are you guys going to wear those costumes from that one incident? From before Red entered the league?"

"No, while the Bride wouldn't mind people wearing their costumes, Mandarins costume was White, and the others don't look good enough for the event." He replies, "We don't actually have our outfits chosen yet, but we need to not outshine the Happy Couple, so Dee needs to rein in his fashionista self."

"What about everyone else? Are we invited?" River inquired.

"I have to ask the wedding party first, they might need to have a guest cap, so I'll get back to you on that."

"When are you going to Propose to your Swordsman, Uncle Blue?" River asks "innocently" to throw Leo off.

He freezes up be fore shouting, "We're barely even dating! We're nowhere near a good timing for one of us to propose!!" His model is blushing so bad you can't see the red stripes on his face. "Okay, we're dropping the subject!! And I will be telling your Dad about this young lady!"

"He wouldn't care, and probably mention a betting pool almost everyone is in on." River kinda sassed back. Leo starts throwing props at River, before just chasing her around the studio.

All while chat is sending multiple different messages ranging from just 'Cute Uncle and Niece bonding', spam emojis, people making bets on Leo's love life, and mods not sure what to do.

-----------------

Masterpost

Yes I kinda reference the cut Wedding episode, but I figured it just fit the with being vauge enough to drive some veiwers/audience members nuts.

[sanderchu]

Hi sanndd! Could I request dream x fem!reader Instagram posts like you did for tommy post face reveal <3 ilyy /p

Insta stories

Note: I got you bestie 🤭 I miss posting anyways

All fake post and tagging

Green- Dream

Pink- Y/n

Orange- sapnap

Blue- Gnf

Cooking stream with my future wife(y/n), sapnap, and George in 15 minutes!!! So sit tight and wait for the madness to began

Imagine trying to convince your girlfriend to not leave you 🥱so clingy smh [@ dreamwastaken] [@y/nwastaken] #solo #onmyown #idon’tneedwoman

My girlfriend is cheating on my with my best friend 😔 they have onesies on and ordering food but never told me the dress code [@ sapnap] 😔 #lonewolfnow #theregettingalong #ilovey/n

What happens after stream when he comes to me tired just from sitting down and playing minecraft, he’s such a baby and didn’t even let patches join us [@ dreamwastaken] #amothertoaclingybaby

Even after his face reveal he still doesn’t wanna show his face but always wants to photo bomb, smh 😒 [ @ dreamwastaken] #clingydream #editorscomegetyourjuice

Since so many haven’t seen us kiss on stream yet here you finally go 🥱 maybe it will actually happen on a stream, just not today ;) [ @ y/nwastaken ] #ilovemyfuturewife #nothoughtsjusty/n

On the plane to twitch and this is what I see when I wake up with a sleepy sapnap next to me, Goodnight everyone 😴 [@ y/nwastaken] [@ dreamwastaken] [@ sapnap] #comegetthiscouple #sapnapissleepingonmyshouldersendhelp

[shinakazami1]

Give me a 12, 13 and 22 for rhys, soldier 🫵

FELLOW RHYS ENJOYER (krotiation I LOVE YOUR ART TOO SM GAAAAH THIS FANDOM HAS SUCH GREAT ARTISTS)

12. What's the funniest or craziest AU idea you've ever come up with?

I have in total, three AUs I have to finally write anything for fhasfsa (I do plan on posting Tales AU first chapter this week tho!!). 1) RHYS AI AU is something you saw me post snippets of - in general, it's an alternative version of Borderlands 2, where Jack kills Lilith and Roland very quickly and survives. Due to mourning for Nisha, Wilhelm and Angel, he one day writes code for a companion based on an imaginary friend he had but also, gives him some trait of each one of those he misses. While Rhys was going to slowly become the silly personality we know and love, this was my typical 'give the character therapy when they don't want it, and end up with them hurting someone else and trying to change'. 2) JUST WING IT AU is my Tales AU that starts with changes in ep 5, with how Rhys handles the news about Jack wanting to get that exoskeleton in him and focusing on exploring Jack's loneliness and adding him as the third character, making sort of second season for the game. The additional driving point would be that Loader Bot would be able to grab Gortys and run off with her, so the search for Vault would become longer Yet the AU I really hope to start exploring in the future, is this one: 3) Loss of what once happened but never before AU. It's a Borderlands 3 Rhack au that would focus on Rhys finding out he is a siren with huge time-travelling powers and the costs that come with it. He would turn back in time, when Jack was still known as John during the nights, and watch some of the consequences happen in the present during the day. He doesn't know though just how strong the butterfly effect will be...

13. What's a character or ship you haven't written/drawn yet but would like to someday?

Characters: Timothy, Angel, Nisha, Zer0, Katagawa, Axton, Moxxi, Lilith, Roland

Ships: Rhysothy, Rhack, JackxNisha, MoxxixTimothy, Rhysagawa, Axton x Turret (cus she is my wife I luv her)

(The list prob isn't finished cus I still have to finish playing the second game and play the third one oifhaiof)

22. Give us headcanons for Rhys

He actually likes fashion and likes casual official style in general.

He has a sweet tooth but pretends to like spicy food in college.

He actually had a heterochromia before the echo eye and decided to keep it.

He admired Jack a bit but he laughed at psycho fans, as he has some critical thinking.

Even a few years after getting Atlas running again, he still tries to make some guns himself, even if he doesn't have as much time.

He was the one dumped by his ex girlfriend even if he didn't like their dynamic because he was actually scared nobody else would be into him.

He spends a lot of time in the morning preparing his hair. It's quite wavy which gets visible in wetter climates but fortunately for him, he lives mostly in dry ones.

He met Katagawa and at first, couldn't believe he had a fan even if he had some boosted ego but felt something off about him. He turned off an invitation to Zanara because he still thinks about his talk with Vaughn about being good at faking cool. That's why he is even more awkward in future games, since while chasing the younger years, he wants to show he matured, hoping that maybe that will bring Sasha back. That's also why he got the moustache - to show he is becoming more serious. Which fails miserably.

He seemed the most confident in his new Atlas CEO stage because he had to look like it. There was nobody else to help him at the time, so he tried his best to do what he had done - acted the plan out.

He still imagines his plans the same way he did in Tales - with fantasies.