#french is. doing ok as well
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guys it's not even funny anymore im worried ab my academics
#english is fine. i know french is too#chemistry is decent and german and maths as well#physics...fucked. sports also fucked. politics and economics fairly ok. history also ok. ethics is fine#but all of this doesn't add up to a good grade.#i neeeeeeed to be really good and it's not even because of my parents or teachers i just need to be#what else do i have to offer#li talks
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You doing alright dude?
i had to wait until i got home from work to make this
#ask#(ok in all seriousness: stuff could be better but this is hardly the worst i've ever been)#(it's just a LOT happening all at once and the overwhelming reality of my impending graduation setting in)#(i really appreciate the concern <3 i am doing okay. but between my brother's wedding and my phd applications. hoo boy.)#((through gritted teeth) almost there. just gotta make it through these next few months.)#(if anyone was wondering why i haven't been online as much lately. well. there's just so much shit happening.)#(i am going to stress-bake SO much shit next time i visit my parents it's gonna be great)#(the way i let my stress out is. making cakes and french macaroons. while screamo music plays in the background.)
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I’ve Decided
They live in Beverly Hills [or at least, an complete equivalent] and that’s final🦐
#Dog man luxury au#ok ok look#Ive Been rereading the books so i have context#They go EASILY to Los Angeles[california city] and have the Piqua Press#Cough Piqua is a city in Ohio but at the core of my au#They wouldn’t live in Ohio i sowwy/ref#And then the many France references I found in the books#In which like first of all those kind of refs are actually just ok#To deal with per say but I wanted a REASON#Turns out California is actually where a bunch of French ancestry is and well#The Swansuits are French along with the fact Chevalier [Knight’s last name] is actually French based#Idk I thought it was cool#So like how New York Times is world wide so is the Piqua Press [in plot idk how popular the press really is]#Anyway so now where do they live? Near LA thats for sure but not necessarily LA [for the fresh flavor]#Searched up close cities and although Glendale was cool Beverly Hills just is more common for me#And OML THE TAGS-#Just thoughts
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i do love when i'm reading a book in french (written for people fluent in french) and there's a footnote defining some uncommon/dialectal word but the synonym given in the footnote is also a word i don't know. net zero information 👍
#kind of similar but distinct from reading les mis and there'd be like seven pages of historical allusions and i wouldn't have#context for any of them and every twenty sentences or so there'd be a footnote explaining only that particular allusion#ok. guess i'm supposed to know what all the other ones are then#but truly that is very refreshing like it's good to read stuff that's not For You. expand those horizons#even if i still don't understand the allusions i at least understand a little more about the shape of my own ignorance#and as far as unfamiliar words go i can just look them up in the dictionary. which i do#it's just funny because it's there to save the reader time and i'm sure it's saving its intended audience time#but me? well i am not the intended audience lol#french#my posts
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i should keep writing my fic so ppl who are interested can meet the sick little fucks ive made up in my head to inflict on that old man.
#like an awakening crew but one designed to specifically make his blood boil and his heart ache. and they're french (derogatory).#genuinely loveeeee what I've got planned and I'm so excited to get to it. it's just SO MUCH WRITING til i DO get there.#and motivation is hard enough with adhd. and even harder when. well im not gonna whinge abt it!!!!!#i just have to not care what i suspect everyone else thinks abt me. paranoia is the mindkiller. it's ok if only i and 3 other ppl enjoy it#anyway most importantly. they're like an awakening crew narratively functionally for him but it's not the awakening crew obvs.#this lot is worse (french).
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oh yeah now that I’m done with one piece I should share my best and worst headcanon that I’ve had since the beginning: Sanji with a thick-ass Italian American accent.
fuck him being French. He’s a perpetually pissed off cook who smokes in the kitchen and is talking shit and throwing hands with the five other guys back there at all times and his respect for women is tenuous at best. He should sound like he’s on the fuckin Sopranos. He has the energy of that guy in the “If X were like delis” videos. At any given moment I am reading his lines with “ey I’m walkin ere” levels of mental narration.
For bonus funnies the rest of Germa can still be French or talk like nobility or whatever. Sanji got his accent from Zeff and then he rocks up to WCI sounding like he just got dragged out of a Bronx gutter
#Judge: why do you sound like that#Sanji: sound like what#(He is laying it on extra thick just to piss judge off)#Ok but in seriousness it’s usually subtle but when he’s pissed it gets more noticeable cuz he grew up hearing Zeff yell#“But all his attack names are French!” Yeah Well robins are Spanish and no one ever says anything abt that#Tho in fairness I bet Spanish robin would be neat#One piece#Sanji: hey. Fuck ya life. Bing bong *throws chopper*
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Just finished Fool Night vol 7 (chap 63) and clutching my head. Mayhaps I shall never be the same. Oh Mukuru Izumi the villain that you are… "What’s back teryas? Veer usses?" "What’s oxygen? Is it like air?" "What’s that? What are you holding?" "Do you think I can live happily one day?" Just shoot me mysterious masked guy it’ll hurt less idc anymore just do it. This is my csm Aki I feel the tragedy in my bones even more here
It’s the cycle of revenge right, that goes on and on until there’s no one left to avenge the last one murdered— And the thought that there’d be no one that would remember or care or want or try to avenge Mukuru is the fucking saddest thing I’ve ever heard.
Trying to be as vague as possible to avoid spoilers but man. Fool Night, the manga that’ll make me cry over trees… Like so far I’ve only cried once and it was during the first umm trees field scene right, because it was simply too fucking real yeah that’d happen yeah, but my god. They’re not just trees they’re lives and they’re not just lives they’re humans and more but does it matter and what are souls???? What are feelings????? What is communication?????? "Oh sure I’ll bring you to Shiika." then that. evil.
…….. And also today I started NegaPosi Angler!!! Great and comfy so far very looking forward to watching it every week. For anyone who didn’t know yet I have a weird ultra fixation on fishing in media in general, Tsuritama and River King are two of my fave things, sooo this is perfect for me lol, came around just at the right time too. Big recommend. Surprisingly topical since both NegaPosi and Fool Night deal with poverty hm. It’s csm Denji meets FN Toshiro except this guy fixes his life through fishing. Bless.
2 works that make me say "I want to live!!" in very different ways! 😀 Fool Night’s out in english through Viz what are you doing here go check it out
#Fool night#kasumi yasuda#A renewed sense of gratitude for the education system flawed as it may be#I’LL FORGIVE YOUUU MUKURU I’LL FORGIVE YOUUUUU…… 😭😭#Apparently Viz isn’t doing a greaaat job…… thankfully the french manga translation industry is on my side so#Holding my head and staring at the floor for 2 mins#If the world moves on from Mukuru’s death just reset it actually just make a do-over just blow it up tbh#I want to make fanart…….. i’m……….. mukuru……………………………… and SHIIKAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA#That’s bacterias and viruses btw idk how clear that was lmao. I tried bc again i read that in french so the mispellings were different#-remembers it again- aughhhaughhhhhhh punching the floor……#Like the protagonists dying would be less sad than Mukuru dying and that stopping there tbh not even joking. I’m?????? I need a hot sec#No one left to avenge Mukuru :((((((#That doctor lady btw i stan in my heart Mukuru Shiika and doctor lady are living together surviving trudging along#Like I can’t overstate how much this hit I took like 2 mins to recover from every other page and pace myself if this was some episode#that I wouldn’t have put on pause I’d have been a sobbing mess on the floor prob ngl#I’ve been on an horror binge since last month and I’ve watched stuff like The Coffee Table or The Devil’s Bath and even Speak No Evil right#… ok well maybe not more intense than speak no evil but this made me way more emotional than the coffee table tbh#Like my god. I need to breathe 🚬#The candies. The snow. Life :(#Cw organs
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Realizing I barely write in French anymore hm
#🤨 hm idk#i would like to start making my comics in French a lil more and my other writing too#actually i would like to start writing more in general#entering adulthood and having an apartment and bills and much more responsibilities#i have not been as productive and creative as I would have liked#but I’ve managed to get back into it with art#i force myself to draw even if its bad just to do it and have something ive drawn#and ive been getting into traditional art and some craft projects as well#something i havent really done before#because im a stubborn bitch who refused to learn how to paint correctly#i was frustrated that my drawing skills didn’t translate to other art forms so i didn’t explore them#and yes my digital art skills are better than traditional but im just enjoying it and learning as i go#ok im talking a lot#lmao absolutely not related to the original post this too is art
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maybe now that i have adhd meds i can attempt Language again
#i mean ok i had them before but different ones & they didnt work. but i think what im on now is what i was on in hs & those Did work#(& then i stopped bc i was like well i am not in school anymore i dont need these. & then. i moved out. and oops i do need them actually)#(unfortunately due to the adhd & also my medical records having gone fucking missing somehow(???) it um. took a while)#but ough i must learn words......... i just need to Actually set aside time for it . and like keep a fucking notebook im not making the#mistake i made with french where i start out like oh this is easy :) & then it gets harder but i havent been taking any notes & now idk How#& so i just give up. we are not doing that this time we are taking notes From The Start and figuring out what works .#but...... probably not this month. this month is Busy. maybe august..........#thats actually a little bit of a lie bc i Have already started theres a podcast w some basics that i have on my work mp3 player#buuuut its been a minute & also Because i only listen to it at work im not really able to pick up on everything. so im basically still#kind of starting from scratch lmao.#honestly my biggest complaint w the podcast is that like. while it does have a sheet w the translations it doesnt have Pronunciation & bc i#have auditory processing issues i cant actually figure out How they are saying certain words just by hearing them.... bc i dont know that i#actually hearing them Correctly. fucking cannot identify sounds disorder killing me over here#doesnt help that its a language where pronunciation is Quite Different than english lmao......#i did find a pronunciation cheat sheet online somewhere & i . bookmarked it? downloaded it? sent myself a link on discord? fuck idr#but i also dont know if theres significant differences in dialect between the two. idk what dialect the cheat sheet was even made.. for? in#whatever ykwim its 6:30am i need to sleep
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som many thigns to do but so sleepy
#📜.qi texts#compiling the things here so I can look at it when I wake up later:#I need to do my project slides#I need to play hsr#and finish the jordan fic#and do 2 more sets of nails#there's something else I was supposed to do what was it#hey speaking of unfinished fics I still have that zhongli angst one from wayyyy back. huh.#anyways I'll see you guys on saturday or something <- busy socialising all the way until friday#hope u guys r all doing well 👍👍#OH I REMEMBER NOW the thing I was supposed to do#should I study spanish french german or korean#I'm leaning to spanish but I have to research more about their exchange programmes#argh ok sleepy gn everyone#omg look at the wall of tags I heart yapping
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sorry I'm having Post-Seine feelings about these lyrics and idk if anyone else is deranged enough to care but i'm gonna translate for you just in case:
Despite the old bitterness And loves that pass Friends we lose in the fog And ideals that are broken Life clings on and is reborn Like each spring returns In a breath of fresh air That soothes hearts in pain So if it happens that tonight you'd like to stay With me, the night is soft, we can walk And even if we know that everything only lasts a little while I'd like you to be, for a moment, My falling star
notes:
'amertumes' is actually plural, so, 'bitternesses', but that's not a word in English, so....
'la nuit est douce' means 'the night is mild', but the word 'douce' literally means 'soft', and I love that
'mon étoile filante' means 'shooting star' or 'falling star'; I guess 'shooting star' is more common, but 'be my shooting star' in English sounds a bit ridiculous. 'Étoile filante' is so good, shame it doesn't translate the best.
#dfjlsidjflsdjfsd#there's also a bit where its like 'if i stop to talk with you a while about life it's because with you i am well and i don't worry anymore'#stop im not ok#why am i like this actually#this is so abnormal of me why can't i be normal about these old men#this is just a gorgeous song in general though#the song is les étoiles filantes par les cowboys fringants#it is very québécois. so if you are not a native french speaker and you're like. why do they sound like that. it's bc la belle province ok#valvert#javert#jean valjean#song lyrics#les mis#les miserables#les misérables#post-seine#sylvie's own nonsense
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I just realized I can’t say Rene and Alois live in my head rent free. Like, they do pay rent.
The rent is emotional support
#not art#it took me like 9 years to realize this#which is also a wild realization all on its own#it’s really been nine years… in real world years rene is going to 5th grade this year…#that’s just wild#they’ve literally supported me through so much#rene in particular bc he’s like MINE mine. not like. an in-law#back in high school id pretend he was running with me when we did the mile#bc I could imagine him struggling and it was kinda funny so it kept me going#he was also the channel for so much vent art#he was kinda the guy I’d daydream with instead of daydreaming about real people and my self insert#it was a lot healthier (relatively speaking)#and he also pushed me to hone my art skills#I specifically learned how to draw that slicked back hairstyle just so I could draw him#and how to do a more western comic style#bc he looked awful in the anime style I used to have#he was kinda the catalyst behind a lot of the decisions that I ended up making. and he led me to my two best friends#he just means a lot to me ok#my little guy. who knew you’d mean this much to me#who knew you’d bring me so many good things#like crow and I obv met in the rp scene#but Keyx and I met bc I talked about how Rene was from marseille and they were like omg no one ever makes non-Parisian spies#and we got to talking#and eventually that’s why I even committed to studying abroad in Paris#well originally I wanted to go to marseille but they transferred me to Paris bc they didn’t have enough students at the marseille campus for#our major#which was fine I guess but I wish I had gotten to go to the marseille campus. it was way more chill.#even so I did meet a lot of nice classmates in Paris. they were mostly pretty accommodating to my lackluster French#anyway none of this would’ve happened if i didn’t have Rene#so. yknow. he’s my special little guy. so much of my life has changed just bc I have him.
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Gotta write a production report for two songs we recorded and I'm gonna have to do at least a third of it for a group of 6 after having done about half of the recording and editing work for one of these two projects...all that cause I still haven't found an internship so I can't just say : do it without me.
It's a little exhausting. I know they will work if I really push them but they'll do it super late and I'll have to revise it when I get back home from the small concert I've allowed myself to go instead of my portuguese lesson (brazilian artist so it's all good my teacher said, I still feel bad) and I'll have to run around tomorrow morning to print it and I'll assume the cost again.
It's...yeah it's exhausting. And my thesis is so far behind, and I still have no internship. I wanna keep strong but man that diploma is slipping away from me. I'm not even sure I have good enough grades at my exams now !
#yeah ok the anxiety is back#I have meds that are over the counter so like not great stuff but I'll just chug that down and hope it does something#plus I'm super stressed cause some of them are coming to a small party at my place (for once that I'm alone without my brother there)#and I was talkign with one of them (the closer one) about maybe coming out to them and he said yeah if you want :)#but now one of them is bringing his girlfriend and I am noooot doing that but also my place is a very intimate space for me#I so rarely invite people over because of that#I should stop drinking coffee it might be helping#my head is killing me#I'm so close to giving up on my studies all together and reimburse my mom#but I don't want to !! the people that inspire me the people i look up to the people i want to be like fought for it and never gave up#I'm not even sure I'm made for these studies. I have no ambition I just want to make people happy with music but the kind I love doesn't#really require me ? cause it's mostly small concerts with acoustics instruments#maybe I should have gone into idk social work but I'm pretty sure I would be way too anxious for it same reason i can't be a therapist#and the situation at home isn't much better rn#I really need to breath rn or I'm gonna be out of commission for so long that it will be even more stressful to do the reports at midnight#I'm gonna chicken out tonight as well and just stand there and listen and not talk to the artist afterwards and try to use the portuguese#I've learned nooo I'm just gonna default to english or french
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If I smoke weed will it make me laugh at a silly movie. Or will it make me feel the Thousand Year Sadness
#And Bone Pain#hey aren’t those the French themed coffee shops they have in the airport#(rimshots)#thankyouverymuch#we had a house show at our place a few months ago (do NOT ask me how much I loved that…) and someone left a joint behind#I’ve been smoking it at the steady rate of one puff every 3-4 weeks#god. don’t overdo it children it sucks#or should I eat the billion year old coconut edible my friend made me in like literally Oct 2022 lol#these are ghastly options I am aware.#but I live in a red state lol#I could buy from a dealer but ugh I’m lazy and weed is bad for me LOL#ok well I took a big bite of the edible and I’m gonna take a tiny puff of the weed. gonna be a weird night
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trying to not be a know it all is soooo hard when you're around other know it alls. it's such a weird balance bc if someone smugly corrects you with wrong info and you tell them they're wrong, somehow YOU'RE the rude one, which doesn't make any sense to me!!! you started it!!
#i'm STILL mad about this interaction i had with a coworker#lmfao SO.#at our job. at a COFFEE SHOP.#he was like oh i wish we had a cafe au lait i think our customers would love it#and i was like. we do we just don't call it that we call it a misto. a cafe au lait is coffee with steamed milk.#it's just FRENCH lol#and he was like NO that's not right actually a cafe au lait is made with cold milk#and i just had to be like. ok.#because i'm not FIGHTING with you on the clock#but. you are wrong#lmfao he gets sooo mad when one of our coworkers calls him out for mansplaining but like. well.#once he explained to me in excruciating detail what a flat white is....#again. at my job at a coffee shop. that i've unfortunately worked in for over 5 years.#i have gotten so good at letting things go#but any time i go 'huh. i didn't know that. cool'.#PLEASE KNOW. i KNOW you are wrong. and i just do not want to fight about it.#although most things can be solved by a quick google... but break out google and you're NEVER beating the know it all allegations lol
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ohhhh dude i literally am not feeling good. this morning.
#like. not so sick i can't move or look at my phone or do anything. but like. not great. (headache dizzy sore throat achy).#should i just like. skip my 9am today. i gotta go in 2 work & french later but maybe i will. feel better by then..#i literally just do not think i can just wake up & then walk 2 campus like this. without keeling over or wanting 2 throw up the rest of the#day or being in massive spoon debt.#<- ..ok. saying this makes me go oh yeah i probably SHOULD not go to my 9am huh. well whatever never said i wasnt an idiot. anyway. gm#txt
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