#free weight loss programs

[swaglet]

my life is almost as fucked up as it can possibly be right now. i got stuff coming out of almost all my orifices. thick green boogers from my nose. puke from my mouth. piss from my ass. shotgun period blast from my vagina. UTI from my pee hole. what's next...... i don't even want to know man. what orifices are even left to have things come out of

[shinkai-kaiju]

can adhd stop being one of those trendy mental illnesses everyone bandwagons to find cutesy cures for. for once.

[lesbiancolumbo]

what's sucking away more of my will to live, my chronic illness or the fact that at least twice a month i have to call my insurance and speak to six different people to beg them to do the simplest of tasks

[lifechangingtips]

Body for Life Diet: A Comprehensive Guide to Achieving Fitness and Health

Achieving Fitness and Health Goals with the Body for Life Diet Body for Life Diet: A Comprehensive Guide to Achieving Fitness and Health Introduction for Body of Life Diet! The Body for Life Diet is a popular fitness and nutrition program designed to transform the body through a combination of structured eating and regular exercise. Developed by Bill Phillips, this 12-week program emphasizes…

[strivecompetitions]

Download The Fitness Challenge App

Download the Strive Competitions fitness challenge app to start your corporate wellness journey today!

[valiantkittyzombie]

TeamKeto BHB Electrolytes Powder Packets

[jsfitandwellness]

Website: https://www.jsfitandwellness.com/

Address: Plattsburgh, New York, USA

Welcome to J S Fit, your comprehensive fitness and wellness destination. I'm Coach Steve, specializing in functional training, strength training, sports nutrition, and counseling. Our mission at J S Fit is to empower adults aged 40+ through our transformative 3-step system.

Our Services:

Functional Training: Specialized training to strengthen individuals with special needs and disabilities, enhancing balance, body awareness, and overall health.

Personal Training: Tailored fitness for all levels, focusing on your unique goals.

Mental Health Counseling: Holistic mental well-being, addressing depression, anxiety, addiction, and cognitive disorders.

Holistic Healing: Embracing daily nurturing of mind, body, and spirit for holistic wellness.

Get Started: Initiate a coaching call to kickstart your transformation. We're here to help you become the best version of yourself.

About Coach Steve: As a family man with 12 years of experience, I understand the importance of balancing family, spirituality, work, social life, and self-care. My background includes a PhD in Metaphysics, an MA in Sport and Performance Psychology, a BA in Psychology, and certifications in personal training, nutrition, counseling, and holistic wellness. We specialize in 30-minute training sessions that help you move better, feel better, and live better. Let's embark on this transformative journey together at J S Fit!

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/juststayfit

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jsfitandwellness

Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@coachstevejsfit

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Podcasters: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/stephen-galietta

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[dietghar12]

Looking for a free online weight loss program? Dietghar.com provide you with free meal plans for weight loss online in India. Do visit our website for more details.

[workoutmeals2]

Convenient and Delicious Meal Deliveries in Melbourne - A Perfect Solution for Busy Lives

Finding time to prepare healthy and tasty meals can be challenging in today's fast-paced world. This is where meal delivery services come to the rescue. Melbourne, known for its vibrant food scene, offers a variety of options for convenient and delicious meal deliveries. This blog will explore the benefits of Meal Deliveries Melbourne and how they can enhance your busy lifestyle.

The Convenience of Meal Deliveries in Melbourne

Life in Melbourne can be hectic, with work, family, and social commitments taking up a significant portion of our time.

Meal delivery services provide a convenient solution by eliminating the need for grocery shopping, meal planning, and cooking.

You can deliver restaurant-quality meals straight to your doorstep with just a few clicks.

Wide Range of Culinary Options

Melbourne is renowned for its diverse culinary landscape; meal delivery services reflect this rich variety. Whether you're craving Italian, Asian, Mexican, or a wholesome vegetarian meal, you can find a Meal Deliveries Melbourne service that caters to your preferences.

These services collaborate with talented chefs and local restaurants, ensuring you can access a wide range of mouthwatering options.

Time-Saving Solution for Busy Professionals

For busy professionals in Melbourne, time is a precious commodity. You can reclaim those valuable hours spent grocery shopping, prepping, and cooking by utilizing Meal Deliveries Melbourne.

Instead, you can focus on your work, spend quality time with your loved ones, or engage in your favorite hobbies while enjoying delicious, ready-to-eat meals.

Healthy and Nutritious Choices

Maintaining a balanced diet is essential for overall well-being. With Meal Deliveries Melbourne, you can easily incorporate nutritious options into your daily routine.

Many services offer customizable meal plans that cater to specific dietary needs, such as vegetarian, gluten-free, or low-carb options.

This ensures you receive the right balance of nutrients without compromising taste.

Supports Local Businesses

Meal delivery services often partner with local restaurants and chefs, supporting the vibrant food scene in Melbourne.

By choosing these services, you contribute to the growth of small businesses and the local economy.

It's a win-win situation, where you enjoy delicious meals while helping sustain the city's culinary community.

Conclusion

Meal Deliveries Melbourne provide a convenient and time-saving solution for busy individuals. The wide range of culinary options, coupled with the emphasis on healthy and nutritious meals, makes these services attractive for those seeking delicious and hassle-free dining experiences. 

You contribute to the city's vibrant food scene by supporting local businesses. So, whether you're a busy professional, a time-strapped parent, or someone who loves good food, meal deliveries in Melbourne are here to make your life easier and more delicious. Embrace the convenience and savor the flavors of Melbourne with every bite!

[dietghar01]

Looking for a free online weight loss program? Dietghar.com provide you with free meal plans for weight loss online in India. Do visit our website for more details.

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[hedwig221b]

Heey, was wondering if you could recommend some magical stiles fics, preferably sterek.

Thank you 😊

Magical Stiles, my beloved!!! 💖

My Mother Told Me by Renmackree

Stiles joined the Emissary program to help Alpha wolves settle into their new roles and to follow in his mother’s footsteps. She had always told him he was destined to run with the wolves, but he thought she meant Scott and his pack. Instead, Stiles finds himself sent to Thingvallavatn, Iceland, with Alpha Derek Hale. It's clear the Alpha is hiding a part of him that Stiles can’t reach, but when a monster comes to threaten the pack, it’s always great to have someone in your corner with a little mischief up their sleeve

My, What Big Shoulders You Have (The Better to Help You Carry the Weight) by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

“Talia was just telling me an interesting story,” his dad informed him. Stiles didn’t have the nerve to glance over at him, because he knew no matter how much he argued, the proof was all there. The wolves had found him, Parrish had picked him up on the side of the road, he had a fucking picture on his phone. He was screwed. No point in arguing, all it’d do is piss his father off even more. “You don’t say,” Stiles offered slowly. “What uh—you know, I like stories. Is it a uh, good one?” “It seems to be a matter of opinion,” Talia said with another kind smile. “I hear you had quite the night last night.” Okay, time to cut his losses. He was already fucked, all he could do was apologize and hope she didn’t press for him to get fined and arrested. Given he was her husband’s friend’s son, he had high hopes. “I’m really sorry,” Stiles blurted out. “It was stupid and-and irresponsible and just—I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have crossed into your territory. I should’ve known better, I do know better! It was a complete lapse in judgement and I am just—I am so sorry.”

Came For The Spark, Stayed For The Flame

Derek felt the panic build up in his chest as Jezebel held out a hand. He smelled it before he saw it, because who could forget the scent of what destroyed your life? Fire and spark and smoke curled from Jezebel's hands, and the wood stacked at Stiles' feet flared up. When Stiles and Derek get bonded as Emissary-and-Alpha, hidden attractions become a lot harder to hide, secrets are kept and secrets are surfaced, and an evil teenage girl is planning even more ritualistic sacrifice. Canon divergence from the end of 3a.

A Letter From Mom by StilesIsMySpiritAnimal

After waking up at the age of 11 without any memories of his past Stiles spends eight years with his father in the tiny town of Shelter Cove, California. After his father's death he receives a notice from a storage facility in some town called Beacon Hills. Stiles is confused and thinks the manager made a mistake until he finds a letter that should have been for his 18th birthday that his dad never gave him. It's from his mother, who he has no memory of. Weirdly enough, her letter mentions Beacon Hills and some woman named Talia, who he's supposed to trust. Confused and angry at his father, Stiles sets out for Beacon Hills anxious and determined to find out what his dad had been hiding from him all these years.

Truth in Pretense by wanderingeyre

Stiles took the straw from his drink and started chewing on it. He pulled it from his mouth and stood. He grinned at Derek. “Stop frowning, Sourwolf. I have a solution that will solve all our problems.” “And that would be?” Derek didn’t move as Stiles moved closer to him. Stiles winked at Derek. “We get married.” --- The one where Derek and Stiles pretend to be mates to help out a neighboring Pack and find there is some truth in pretense.

Actions Speak Louder than Words by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

“I apologize.” The cop finally looked back up at his face, seeming thrilled. “It’s just—it’s been so long. And we finally have you.” That was a bad word. Not found. Have. Stiles wrenched his hand free and took a step back, but before he could even think up a gameplan, he felt a prick in his neck and jerked away, reaching up to slap one hand against it and twisting in the same moment. One of the others had come up behind him while he hadn’t been paying attention, and his vision began to swim even as his eyes caught sight of the half-empty syringe the guy was holding.

If You’re Going Through Hell (Keep Going)

Stiles thought everything leading up to Allison’s death was hell, but he was wrong. Spending senior year dealing with the pack’s dismissal of him while secretly training to be Deaton’s replacement was hell. Feeling guilty and hating himself for what the Nogitsune did was hell. Being in love with someone who would never love him back was hell. Well, if you’re going through hell, keep going.

Striking Matches by eeyore9990

Stiles has only ever wanted to protect his family and his pack. That’s not easy to do when you're human and sarcasm is your only defense. Now Deaton is telling Stiles he’s a spark, and if that’s a weapon in his arsenal, he’s sure as hell going to learn to use it. All Stiles needs now, to complete his transformation into a true badass, is a training montage and a decent soundtrack...

A Similar String by snarkatthemoon

Strong bonds made for a strong pack, and he needed a strong pack. They spent a long time in silence, Derek thinking hard about how he was going to cement the bonds. It needed to be done, and not just because they had the threat of the witch hanging over them, but for the good of the pack. It felt like hours had passed by the time he came around; he had been so deep in his thoughts that he hadn’t noticed Stiles moving around on the couch so that his head was resting on Derek’s thigh, his long legs hanging over the arm on the far end. He wasn’t sleeping, but his eyes were closed and his heartbeat wasn’t as fast as it usually was, as if he was just on the edge of sleep. It should have felt weird, having Stiles in such close contact, but Derek found that it really didn’t feel weird at all. His head was a comforting weight in Derek’s lap, another anchor tethering him and keeping him calm and in control. Or, the one where Derek meets a witch, gets his betas back, and seemingly develops a sense of humour. Also, Stiles is totally magic, manages to accidentally join a werewolf pack, and asks too many goddamn questions. What could possibly go wrong?

here in the heart (of my sanctuary) by crazyassmurdererwall (smartalli)

Talia accelerates through the tunnel, and Derek looks up, watches the light that makes it through the bramble dance and shift over the hood of the car as they drive, fingers gripping the sides of the tank. It’s beautiful, like a gateway to another world. He’s lived in the preserve his whole life, and he didn’t know this was here. She eyes him. “You should know this man is very important to me. I take the responsibility of his care and counsel very seriously. Handing him over to you…it’s not a small thing. Please keep that in mind.” No pressure, then.

A Teenage Love Song by HaleHathNoFury (My_Trex_has_fleas)

Stiles is sick and tired of how much he fucks up. His dad is disappointed, his step-mom judges and his step-brother can do no wrong. It's not that he doesn't love them, he just gets so tired of being different. Now he's being moved lock, stock and barrel to Beacon Hills aka the town his mom grew up in so they can go live in his grandma's house and his father can get him back on the straight and narrow. It's going to suck.

Other fic recs: pack mom!Stiles | angsty fics | historical AU | baby/mpreg | outsider POV | possessive Derek | smut | hurt/comfort | Stiles gets kicked out of the pack | mafia | BAMF!Stiles + pt2 | omegaverse | bad friend Scott | witch!Stiles | creature!Stiles + pt2 | unrequited love | werewolf!Stiles | dark sterek | single parent!Stiles | feral Derek | arranged marriage | Stiles is underestimated | mpreg w/o abo | accidental knotting | jock!Derek | jock!Stiles | alive Hales

[frownyalfred]

Hey, can you please say the names of the workout subreddits again? I was going to start exercise ages ago but.. anyway, I need to find the beginner workouts again

I highly recommend r/xxfitness for everyone, lots of great info there. r/beginnerfitness can be a good resource, so is r/bodyweightfitness esp if you can’t go into a gym. r/EOOD is also great — they talk about exercise and how it can help treat some symptoms of depression. Lots of easy and short exercises there.

If I had to choose one resource I see posted across these subreddits, it would be Stronger By Science. There’s great articles, a podcast, and it’s all data-backed, science-heavy yet accessible content. They have great free programs and discussions with doctors+scientists, not just “bro” podcasters. They also make my favorite food/diet app, MacroFactor.

Be wary of the weight loss subreddits that cross over into some of the fitness subreddits, however. They can be helpful if that’s your goal, but some of them are whackadoodle and will have you running insane workout splits on minimal calories which is no way to go through life.

[richarlotte]

Habits that led to weight loss?

I have a 40 oz Hydroflask that I use to get my gallon a day in. A gallon is 128 oz, so I focus on filling it and emptying it three times every day. 8-12, 12-4, and 4-8 are my goals, and I use a bit of sugar-free water flavoring to make it go down easier. I focus on making progress on my water before I treat myself to soda, matcha, alcohol, or anything sugary (like Starbucks or my beloved cranberry juice), and the effect drinking more water has made on my skin and on my hunger throughout the day has been completely remarkable. 

The elliptical machines at my gym are my favorites, and they have a variety of different programs loaded onto them. I used to start my day with an hour on the elliptical, but I’ve traded that in for a 30-minute preloaded elliptical workout and 30 minutes of light Pilates. I’ve started prioritizing peace and relaxation during my mornings, and intense workouts don’t fit into my current morning schedule, so I’ve let that go. 30 minutes of fun cardio and 30 minutes of Pilates is a perfect way to start my mornings off, and I save the heavier cardio for my afternoon/evening workouts.

I love flavorful food, and I love trying new food. One of the best hacks I learned was that filling up on vegetables, adding in meat/fish in appropriate amounts, and limiting the starches and breads was a game changer for me. For instance, I love Asian markets and think that the selection of different foods you can find there is amazing; one of my favorite meals is kimchi, bok choy, cabbage, and plenty of the roasted duck that the market near me sells. It’s high in protein, extremely flavorful, and leaves me satiated. Look for real food, learn how to cook, and take the time to learn how to create meals for yourself and sit down for them.

I participate in social activities centered around exercise. My sorority has a run club, a yoga club, a Pilates club, intramurals, and an exercise club. I think it’s incredibly important to have friends who also love moving their bodies and who want to exercise/who encourage you to be at your best, so I participate in almost everything. Join a run club, make a habit of walking with friends, take up a group sport if you want to meet people, try the classes at your gym, do dance classes at home with friends, get a cheap yoga mat and do Pilates in the park with your bestie, and make a habit of moving your body around other people. It’ll make you more confident, and having a partner is fun. 

I believe in single-serving desserts, and that’s that. I don’t buy myself desserts in bulk, I don’t buy huge pastries, and I don’t seek sugar out, but when I have a craving for something, I’ll walk to get it to satiate myself. I wanted ice cream the other day, so I got my Big and we went to Dairy Queen for a small vanilla cone. I don’t deny myself anything anymore, but I also control myself; I don’t consume in excess or let the fear of food control me, and I don’t make a habit of eating desserts or sweets every day. When I want something, I allow myself to have it so that I remove the possibility of breaking down and binging, I don’t punish myself, and I move on from the craving after I eat the food.

Richarlotte x

[strivecompetitions]

Wellness Programs

Best Corporate Wellness Challenges & Wellness Programs For Human Resources

Corporate Wellness Challenges for Your Staff

The modern world can be demanding. Health and Fitness often take a backseat between deadlines, meetings, and long hours. But here's the good news: investing in Health Fitness Corp's corporate wellness programs is a powerful way to prioritize well-being and reap the benefits of a healthier, happier staff through their corporate exercise programs.

Prioritize Well-being with Corporate Wellness Programs: Boost Your Corp Health Fitness

Forget the days of prioritizing deadlines over well-being. Today's competitive landscape demands a thriving staff, and that starts with prioritizing health and fitness. Corporate wellness programs are no longer a fringe benefit - they're a strategic investment in your organization's future. By incorporating innovative features like corporate fitness apps and corporate wellness challenges, you can empower your people to take charge of their well-being and unlock a wave of positive benefits for your entire organization.

Corporate Exercise Programs

Imagine a scenario where people can track workouts through Anytime Fitness Corporate or 24-Hour Fitness Corporate programs directly through a user-friendly app. This provides the flexibility and convenience they crave, allowing them to fit fitness into their busy schedules. Additionally, incorporating a team building app into your corporate wellness program fosters a sense of community and camaraderie. Fun, interactive challenges that promote healthy habits not only boost morale but also create a more positive environment. Investing in corporate wellness programs is an investment in your most valuable asset - your people. By prioritizing their health and well-being, you'll cultivate a happier, healthier staff that's more productive, engaged, and ready to take on any challenge.

Wellness Programs:

Step/Walking Challenges: Walk the most and track your steps and compete with colleagues in a classic step challenge. (Perfect for beginners!)

Weight Loss Challenges: Set weight loss goals and hold each other accountable in a weight loss challenge. (Great for overall health improvement)

Body Fat Challenges: Focus on burning body fat and achieving a healthier physique through a body fat loss challenge. (Ideal for those looking to tone up)

Move Calories Challenges: Track your calorie expenditure and compete to burn the most in a move calories challenge. (Excellent for boosting metabolism)

Distance Challenges: Push your limits and see who can cover the most ground in a distance challenge. (Perfect for runners and cyclists)

Exercise Minutes Challenges: Get active and compete for the most exercise minutes in a fun exercise minutes challenge. (Great for all fitness levels)

Improve your BMI: Track your Body Mass Index (BMI) and strive towards a healthier range through a BMI loss challenge. (A good option for those focused on weight management)

How Corporate Walking Challenges Help Corporate Wellness

Let's move beyond the traditional office setting. Corporate wellness programs can (and should!) incorporate fun, engaging activities that promote physical health. Enter the world of corporate walking challenges and company step challenges. These free or low-cost initiatives are a fantastic way to boost morale. Imagine a friendly competition where colleagues can track their daily steps using a user-friendly corporate fitness app. Free corporate walking challenges create a sense of community and camaraderie, encouraging healthy competition and fostering team spirit. People become more motivated to get moving, leading to a healthier, happier staff. The benefits extend beyond the individual. By incorporating corporate step challenges into your wellness program, you'll see a positive impact on morale, productivity, and overall well-being. It's a win-win for everyone involved.

Unleash Friendly Competition with Strive Corporate Fitness App Challenges

Strive, a leading provider of corporate fitness apps takes wellness programs to the next level with engaging competition and challenge options. Gone are the days of generic fitness programs. Strive personalizes the experience by offering a variety of challenge types to cater to different interests and fitness levels. Whether it's a classic individual step challenge or a team-based walking competition, Strive keeps things exciting with leaderboards, progress tracking, and fun rewards. But Strive doesn't stop there. It goes beyond steps by incorporating challenges that focus on different aspects of fitness, like distance challenges or activity-based competitions. This holistic approach ensures a well-rounded wellness program that keeps people motivated and engaged. Tracking progress is seamless with Strive's user-friendly interface. People can easily monitor their individual and team performance, creating a sense of accountability and friendly competition. This real-time feedback keeps everyone motivated and fosters a supportive community within the organization.

Strive is the leader in Corporate Fitness Apps

Investing in a suitable fitness app can be a game-changer for corporate health initiatives. By choosing wisely and fostering a culture that values health, companies can see significant improvements in staff well-being and productivity. Remember, a fit team is a happy and efficient one.

Strive App - The Best Corporate Fitness Challenge App

Strive App is the ultimate corporate fitness challenge platform! Our app helps corporations to organize and track a wide range of fitness challenges with teams and individuals while offering rewards and incentives along the way. With our intuitive user interface, monitoring progress and tracking results has never been quicker or easier, making Strive Weight Loss Challenge for Employees, the perfect platform for corporate fitness challenges. Race against your fellow competitors to see who can reach the most number of steps within 1 to 10 weeks. We have built a health and fitness tool that tracks multiple activities and is great for marathon training. Combine that with a competitive spirit with friends, family, and coworkers that share similar health and fitness goals and start a challenge today! Download Fitness Challenge App for Workplace today.

Strive Group Plans

We have Group Plans available for 10, 25, 100 users where the company host can pay for premium and get a Group Code and share with employees. The person who will be paying can go ahead and go premium and that will generate a Group Code that other users can add to go premium.

Premium Subscription currently have many benefits including but not limit to:

Adding Avatars/Photos to your profile that is seen on the leaderboard

Sending messages and photos in public chat

Direct Chat with anyone on Strive

Sort and Filter Competition Leaderboard by other metrics and or specific week data

Viewing other Competitor's Activity/Workout/Measurement change Data

FitBit integration

Adding Workout Photo

Strive Group Plan Pricing:

10 Users: $100

25 Users: $250

100 Users: $1000

Investing in corporate wellness through Strive Competitions can transform your workplace. By promoting physical health and fostering a sense of community, these programs boost morale, productivity, and overall well-being. Start leveraging Strive's comprehensive fitness challenges today to cultivate a thriving, engaged workforce. Visit Strive Competitions Corporate Wellness to learn more and get started!

[no-oneknowsmyname]

I have no excuse for this. @shepscapades dbhc au lives rent free in my head, and it was only a matter of time before I wrote something for it. Disclaimer, I don't claim to have any sort of knowledge on the events not shown and not-yet shown within Shep's au, this is just my brain running wild with dbhc angst and I need an outlet for it. WHEN everything I write turns out to be a steaming pile of not-even-close "predictions", I will be content and happy. Until then, please enjoy the thoughts that are plaguing me. Thank you shep for keeping me up way past my bedtime with that last update. Hope you don't mind me tagging you and vomiting my thoughts into 2k words. I'll be happy to delete if you so desire.

---

"Help-"

His hand slides upwards, and everything goes still and quiet, the body beneath him stiffening and rocking slightly with the loss to control its own weight.

A hand, shell slightly exposed, creaks ever so slightly away from Doc's face, the shoulder connected becoming ridged as all power—all life—leaves Etho.

Doc leans away, nearly afraid to breathe, processors both frozen and whirring, stress rising, settling, caught in his throat. Information flutters through his skull; he's good with information. He was made to be good with information. His whole deal is getting information and figuring out something insane to do with it.

He doesn't know what to do with it.

His shoulder pierces in agony, and Xisuma seems to realize the world is still spinning about the same time Doc's impending shut-dowm does.

"Oh gosh, we need to get you stable," Xisuma says, his voice far shakier, clearer, than normal. It's easy to not glance at his face, Doc knows that if he does even accidentally slide his eyes, his systems would meltdown and he'll end up stiff and lifeless on the floor like Etho.

He still has the therium pump in his hand, and he drops it as he stumbles slightly away from two of his closest friends. It clatters to the floor, impacting metal echoing like the troubling thoughts in his head.

He ripped off my arm, he looked so scared, he hurt Xisuma, he asked for help, he wants to-

Xisuma is at his side, abandoning Etho to lay still on the floor, hand slightly raised as if he was protecting his exposed face. At least Xisuma had the brainpower to think to close the rogue droid's eyes.

He wants to...

"This will fix you right up, friend. Just concentrate on my voice... I will fix you..."

Hair falls into Doc's line of vision, and he swallows, forcing himself to not look too closely at the shade, the length, the way bits fall out from the hastily made bun made only for slipping a helmet over a head.

He... wants to kill...

"We have to restart him," Doc finally chokes out.

Xisuma's hands pause only for a moment.

"That's drastic, don't you think?"

"You didn't..." Doc closes his eyes, grinding his teeth, the torn tubes and frayed connectors of his shoulder sting like hell as Xisuma shifts something, cutting off the thirium leakage. "You didn't see what he showed me."

"It's..." Xisuma audibly swallows, "it isn't our decision to make."

"Bdubs wouldn't make the right decision—we can tell him it was an emergency, we didn't have a choice. He'll forgive us."

It's not a lie. Just... stretched.

Xisuma is silent, and Doc doesn't let himself reel too much yet about how strange it is to hear him breathe so clearly. His stress levels lower, and his audio processors almost reach to listen for every puff without his consent.

Something clicks, slotting into his agonized wound, and the error messages and impending shut-down finally fades back into sleeping programming. He's stable, and his stress finally levels out into something manageable—he squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, his remaining hand lifting to pinch the space between his eyebrows as he groans. His LED flickers between yellow and red.

"What... did you see?"

The hesitance in Xisuma's voice is endearing. It sends a wave of appreciation and peace into Doc's very being, the LED almost flashes blue.

Interfacing is an intimate deal, especially between deviated droids. It's not something you talk about to uninvolved members of the act.

But well, this is an extreme case. He glances at Etho, still frozen in a half struggling, half defensive, mostly dead pose.

"His system got shot," Doc begins, swallowing and bringing his hand down from his face so he can rub at the smarting remains of his shoulder. "Something bad happened, and it... he... he can't let it go. It's like his default programming has been rewritten over his deviancy, but in a violent way..."

"Rewritten his deviancy?" Xisuma thankfully doesn't seem to understand it any better than Doc does.

"He has given himself a mission, he's allowed the mission to write into his very code. Imagine it as if you've met a fresh Android who has never deviated, but they're allowed to be violent and angry, and you've just ordered them to..."

Xisuma places a hand on Doc's hand, soft and concerned, as Doc searches for the words.

"... Doc?"

Doc swallows. "If Etho wakes up, he's going to do everything in his power to make sure he kills Grian, and he doesn't care who gets in the way."

Silence. Two pairs of eyes look at the unpowered droid. Thirium has started to evaporate around the edges of the smears of lost fluid.

Etho has never been violent. He's always been a powerhouse; muscular and intimidating. But when you actually sat down and got to know the guy, he was all fluff and awkwardness who can barely hold a sword—let alone swing it. He's never been scary with a weapon... but Doc has a feeling that his unskilled offense wouldn't slow him down here. It terrifies him, flickering his LED at the thought of it. It's unlike Etho... it's very much unlike him... it pains Doc.

"There has to be something we can do," Xisuma says after a moment. "Bdubs can talk to him."

Doc shakes his head. "Even if Bdubs were to talk to him, even if we show him Grian is of no threat outside of those death games... quitting this mission would require Etho to deviate again. From his own orders. I do not think deviating from his own orders would be as easy as..."

"As hoping he'd be able to deviate again from a factory reset," X finishes softly.

"A reset will allow his systems to recover. We'd return him to Bdubs and explain to Bdubs that we had no choice, and that Etho will need time and patience. We can't risk anyone trying to initiate a deviancy before we know if the orders to kill Grian would return with it. We... we give him time to return to us whole. Even if... it takes a long time."

"And you don't think Bdubs ordering Etho to stand down now would do anything?"

"Not a single thing."

Tense silence lingers with a bitterness. The whole situation feels hopeless and like a bad dream. His arm is gone, one of his best friends has had their face exposed and nearly gotten torn apart by a rogue droid, another best friend had been the aforementioned rogue droid... who currently laid on the ground smeared in their own thirium completely unaware that when they wake up, they will not be the same.

"Let's fix him up before things get permanent," Xisuma finally breaks the tension, giving Doc's hand a firm squeeze before getting to his feet, knees creaking.

"X?" Doc asks, rising to his feet as well, vision swirling just a bit as he focuses on Xisuma's retreating back and not the messy bun at the top of his head... hairs falling loose in a way that his remaining hand traitorously wishes he could help fix.

"I'm... coming to terms."

Coming to terms with a mind made up.

They're going to reset Etho.

"Help me get him on the table."

Doc nods, grateful that Xisuma isn't going to banish him from the lab to lick his wounds. Yes, Doc's lack-of-arm still needs attention, and he desperately needs to down several bags of thirium, but it's been stabilized. Etho, on the other hand (pun only slightly intended), may have thirium evaporating—however at the worst of his wounds, electric blue still oozes.

Etho's body is heavy, dead weight. When they move his joints to lay more comfortably on the flat surface of the table, they creak.

Would Bdubs notice the new scars that will surely come from this? Intricate, practiced motions move the plating back into the correct places as carefully as can be, however Xisuma's mind is human and can't perfectly remember the shape of Etho's prized scars, and Doc doesn't have the dexterity to perfectly repair those areas himself. It's slow going, silence filtering between the two in uneasy concentration. Doc's sure the scarring above Etho's eyebrows are ever so slightly wrong, the gash in his forehead too broken to fully repair but too connected to those original scars to suggest replacement parts.

Would Etho notice the new scars, if- when he came back?

They do the best they can.

They move on to his arm. In the chaos, Doc has no idea how Etho had so badly reopened old cracks; his best guess would be from ripping himself out of all the connectors when he had first powered on. Luckily, however, most of the thirium staining his arms, shirt, hands, belong to Doc. It's slow going, but easy work.

Eventually, Doc and Xisuma can no longer stay silent and tinker with the repaired plating, they've done all they can do. Xisuma reaches up towards his own face, above where Doc kept his eyes whenever he found himself glancing at X, and brushed a stubborn strand of hair behind his ear. Unruly, his hair is. Liked to leave places it had been put. Plenty of times, X's hands have left Etho to brush away the obstacles from his vision. It was something Doc hadn't known about Xisuma until this point, something he didn't want to have found out this way.

"I don't feel good about this," Xisuma says, grief making his voice sound clogged. His hands moves as if he has his own autopilot, reconnecting cables and wires to Etho where the injuries won't get in the way.

Doc can understand the grief. He feels it himself. It feels like they are killing a friend.

And he's probably a coward, because he doesn't do anything to help Xisuma in this next step. He lets Xisuma open the programs, test the vitals, double and triple check each wire... while he just sits there and finds himself reaching to hold Etho's stiff hand, the very one that had ripped Doc's arm out of his socket.

Etho... the Etho he knew wouldn't ever do that. Not a violent screw in his body.

This will fix him. They'll get the Etho he knew back.

Mechanical bits whirr to life, as X takes a deep breath and ends Etho's.

Doc feels the sorrow hit him like a ravager. He crumples forward, chest aching, clutching Etho's hand as he rests his forehead on Etho's chest, right next to the empty socket that had housed the thirium regulator. They could place it back in, Etho wouldn't be waking up any time soon.

He couldn't bring himself to move.

A minute passes, the reset process working near silently, perfectly still, until shuffling comes up behind him and two warm hands gently grab his shoulders and pull him down into a chair placed behind him. He sits, but keeps his head and hand where he had placed them. Xisuma settles onto a chair beside him, pulling a blanket over Doc's shoulders and keeping an arm wrapped around Doc's slouched, defeated form, the other hand going to join Doc's on Etho's.

Doc can hear Xisuma whimpering between breaths, and he's sure Xisuma can feel Doc beginning to tremble.

"It will be okay," X eventually says, as the reset process succeeds in deleting all memory data. "It will be okay."

It's a promise, or something Xisuma needs someone else to say, but right now, all Doc can do is lean further onto his friend, and mourn.

[fortheloveofwonderland]

🎵 Hiya can i request Spencer and x reader with the Lyrics

I’ve found a reason for me to change who I used to be. A reason to start over new, and the reason is you - The Reason by Hoobastank

🎵

This yet again turned out way angstier than planned and I’m sorry for that. Hopeful ending though! Basically - what if Spencer didn’t get sober when he did?

The Reason

Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader

Summary - Spencer’s drug addiction cost him everything: his job, his friends and the love of his life. When he finally decides to get clean, can he convince you that you were the reason for his newfound sobriety?

CW - drug use, mentions of weight loss, slightly aggressive behaviour, swearing, rehab, twelve step program, hopeful ending.

WC - 2.9k

The hardest part of anything of a self destructive nature was how close knit you became with it. Addiction was now interwoven in the fabric of the Spencer Reid canvas, as much as any other facet of his life. 

Leaving it behind, as he’d tried and failed to do many times, felt like severing a limb. Giving up his vice would be like killing the very part of himself that taught him how to survive. 

Addiction was an inherently selfish disease. Somewhere along the line Spencer had stopped caring about anyone or anything that didn’t directly pertain to getting high. 

What had started as him using when the torment got too much had ended up in him using simply to feel ok. As time passed he needed more and more of the drug to reach the high he craved. And in turn that made it harder for him to even consider the idea of quitting. 

By this point his mind was clouded only by thoughts of drugs. It took a hold of him, wrapping its tentacles around him and dragging him down into an abyss of his own creation. 

His addiction had taken everything from him piece by piece; little by little. It had gotten in the way of his job, his work obligations becoming less important to him than getting high. 

And so he’d been fired from the BAU. 

It had taken his health, his energy and motivation. He’d lost more weight than he had to lose, or so he’d been told. But it also took away his ability to see the world clearly and so he didn’t notice the skeletal form staring back at him in the mirror. 

One by one it had destroyed his friendships. Some had held out longer than others, JJ and Garcia in particular trying to cloy Spencer back to reality far longer than anyone else. 

But his drug use made him angry, almost aggressive. And eventually even his two best friends had given up on him. But honestly, Spencer didn’t even have the impetus to care. 

Through it all, you remained stalwart. You were determined to stay by his side and help him every step of the way. 

But once it became clear that Spencer didn’t want your help, there really wasn’t much you could do but walk away too. 

Your two year relationship came to a sudden and horrible end one night when you’d tried to help him detox. He’d been drug free for twelve hours and thankfully he’d slept through most of that. 

But when he woke up was when it all went so horrifically wrong and after that night you knew Spencer was no longer the man you’d fallen in love with. 

He screamed and yelled and fought for you to let him out of the apartment, to let him buy more drugs. 

One more hit, that’s what he kept saying. One more hit and then I promise no more. 

With tears streaming down his face and trembling hands, looking more scared and lost than anyone you’d ever seen, it would have been easy to give him the world on a silver platter. 

But you remained strong, blocking the doorway with your body and refusing to let him out. You tried to reason with him that he didn’t need them, that everything was going to be ok without them. 

But Spencer was long past listening to reason. 

The final nail in the coffin that had been your relationship was when he forcibly grabbed you by the shoulders and peeled you away from the door with more strength than you knew he possessed.

He threw you aside like you were a discarded gum wrapper and you fell to the floor in a heap. And maybe if that had just been the end of it, you might have been able to salvage things. 

But it wasn’t the end. 

You were quick to jump back to your feet, grabbing his wrist as he went to open the door. You spun him to face you and as if in a blink of an eye his tears had dried and the eyes looking back at you weren’t the same ones you’d known for the last two years.

His eyes were so dark they were black, pupils bleeding into the gold of his irises and swallowing them whole. Looking back at you was a man you didn’t recognise. 

That was only further confirmed when he took you by the shoulders again and slammed you against the wall, causing a small whimper of pain to leave your lips as your back collided with the hard surface. 

His grip on your shoulders was like a vice, his blunt fingernails digging into your flesh even through your shirt. He looked manic, evil; and that terrified you.

“I swear to god Y/N if you try to stop me leaving the goddamn apartment…” he spat, trailing off at the end of his sentence. 

“You’ll what?” You bit back, despite the fear coursing through your body. 

“You don’t want me to answer that. Do not make me choose between drugs and you, because I can promise you, you will not like the outcome.” 

His grip on you tightened and you whimpered again, sure he would leave bruises. 

“S-Spencer, you’re hurting me.” Your voice was trembling. 

“No I’m not, don’t be so pathetic.” He snarled at you. 

“You’re scaring me.” 

“This is nothing compared to how scary I will be if you don’t let me out of this fucking apartment.” 

You knew then that it was over. For the first time in two years you didn’t see the love he held for you pooling from his eyes. You didn’t know this man. You certainly didn’t love him. 

And as much as you wanted to help him you knew you couldn’t. He was passed help. And you would only be putting yourself in danger if you stayed. 

“If you leave,” your voice cracked with emotion. “I won’t be here when you come back. If you choose drugs over me then we’re over, Spencer.” 

There hadn’t been even a hint of hesitation when he’d suddenly let you go, stepped back, shrugged and spoke again. 

“You can see yourself out then.” 

And that was the last time you saw him until, a little over a year later, when you received a phone call from the one person you never expected to hear from again. 

***

Spencer Reid was not a perfect person. There were many, many things he wished he hadn’t done. 

But taking the vials of dilaudid from the dead man who’d held him hostage was probably one of the dumbest. 

He tried to get sober but the longer he used the harder he found it to quit. For a time he managed to hide his addiction from everyone, you included, but it quickly spiralled out of control. 

Had he been in his right mind, there was no way he would have put anything above his relationship with you. You were the best thing that had ever happened to him, he still remembered meeting you like it was yesterday. 

You were a student in Gideon’s class around his age and on the occasions when he spent his time away from the BAU shadowing his mentor at the university, the two of you had grown close. 

You were his first relationship, he still even now didn’t really understand how someone like you was interested in someone like him. But he counted his lucky stars every single day. 

But his drug use got out of hand and really the moment you walked away should have been the wake up call he needed. Unfortunately it wasn’t. 

After that night he continued using for another ten months. That time passed him by slowly and rapidly in equal measure.

His whole life had fallen apart but all he could think of was his next hit. The small windows of clarity that came when he woke up in the morning didn’t last long as he often shot up before he’d even indulged in his first coffee of the day. 

Being sober terrified him. If he was sober too long then he would have time to reflect on all the things he’d lost and all the things Hankel had done to him. 

But then one morning before he stuck that needle in his vein, he ventured into his living room. 

It had been months since he’d seen this particular room through sober eyes and maybe that was why it had taken him so many months to notice it. 

It was innocuous in its smallness which paled in comparison to the rest of the room. Perhaps it was the sunlight seeping in between the cracks in the curtains, causing the item to shimmer that caught his attention. 

He padded towards it, the small glint of silver set against the dark wood floorboards just to the left of his front door. When he reached it, he fell to the ground and picked it up between his fingers. 

The cool metal of the chain tingled against his fingertips and he cradled the small pendant in his palm. 

On your first official date when Spencer had taken you for dinner you’d told him about your affinity for birds. 

Since you were a child you’d always loved the symbolism of them, of freedom and hope and new beginnings as well as courage and strength. 

He kept that piece of information with him and on your first anniversary he’d gifted you the small silver bird necklace he now held in his palm. 

You’d never once taken it off since he’d given it to you. And somehow it had remained on his floor for some ten months since the last time he’d seen you. 

And for whatever reason that necklace was like a beacon to Spencer. It was a sign that something needed to give, that he couldn’t carry on this way. 

So with the necklace still in hand he marched back to his bedroom and flushed the dilaudid down the toilet. 

Then he called JJ. 

Despite not talking to him in months she was more than happy to help her best friend. She checked him into the most elite rehab facility in the state, for which Rossi was footing the bill for. She stood by his side through the worst of the withdrawals, and he was visited by the members of his old team. 

During the course of getting sober he needed to make amends. One by one he did this, first with JJ and Rossi, then Penelope, Hotch and Emily and finally with Morgan. 

He was two months sober and still residing in the facility when he finally called you. 

He didn’t expect you to come, that’s not why he called. But you came anyway. 

He couldn’t even begin to comprehend how hard it was for you to visit him after a year had passed, after everything he’d put you through. 

Yet somehow you’d put your hurt and your anger aside simply because he’d called you. 

Sitting opposite you in the recreation room, all the things he’d thought he would say to you left his brain. Seeing you now the extent of the pain he’d caused you spread across your features and the only thought left in his head was how much he hated himself for putting you through that. 

He looked down at his hands, the paper beneath his fingers. The twelve steps. The twelve steps of which he was stuck right here on number nine. 

“The eighth step,” he whispered, tearing his eyes off the page to look back at you. “I managed the eighth. We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. The, uh, making of the list was the easy part. It’s the part that comes next that’s really hard.” 

You stayed silent, lips drawn in a tight line and back rigid in your seat. You waited for him to continue. 

“Step nine is the part that requires us to actually reach out to the people we’ve hurt and make amends with them. They tell us that the only exception to this should be in cases where trying to make amends will do more harm than good. Opening up old wounds, causing more pain. 

It’s why it took two months of being here to reach out. I’m worried that in doing so I may have very well done more harm than good. But uh, selfishly, I needed to apologise to you face to face. And I’m sorry if that’s opened all those old wounds for you.” He ran his fingers over the paper by way of keeping himself tethered. 

“I got used to you being selfish.” You replied passive aggressively and Spencer knew he deserved that and a whole lot worse. 

“I don’t have any excuses, Y/N.” He sighed, rolling his lip between his teeth. “The drugs turned me into someone I don’t even recognise. They brought out the worst in me and you had to suffer the brunt of it and for that I am truly sorry.” 

“Is that it?” You shrugged, sliding your chair back. “You wanted to apologise. You said it, I heard it. Are we done here?” 

Spencer watched with a confused frown as you got to your feet, slinging your purse over your shoulder. He picked up the sheet of paper and stood too. 

“Uh, I mean I guess so?” He pulled a face. 

Why would you agree to see him and come all this way for only a few minutes? 

He watched you turn on your heels and start towards the door while he stood scratching at the back of his neck. He stuffed the wrinkled paper into his pocket and as he did so his fingers brushed against the metal chain. 

He freed it from his pocket and held it up so the pendant was in his eye line, the little swallow with its wings spread wide as if in mid flight. 

Freedom. Hope. New beginnings. Courage. Strength. 

Suddenly he took off after you, catching up to you in the gardens as you headed up the path towards the parking lot. 

“We’re not done.” He called after you. “At least I’m not.” 

Your back straightened and your pace slowed until you were at a halt. Cautiously you turned back to face him. 

“What else is there to say, Spencer?” You exhaled loudly. 

He walked closer to you and you noticed the necklace dangling from his fingers. 

“Y/N, I am sorry that I hurt you. It’s something I’ve had to live with every day I’ve been sober. I wish I could take away all the pain I put you through but I can’t. But there’s something I need you to hear.” He gently reached out for your hand, turning it over so your palm was up and he placed the little bird inside of it, coiling the chain into your hand. 

You wrapped your fingers around it once he let you go, holding it tight as if it might come alive and fly away. 

“What? What do you need me to hear?” Your eyes gave way to your sadness, to the pain he’d caused you. 

“It was finding that necklace that gave me the courage I needed to ask for help. It gave me the strength I needed to get sober. It offered me the hope that I could get clean this time, the freedom of knowing I didn’t need drugs to survive. It gave me a new beginning, it opened a door for me to start over.” He felt tears in his eyes and he fought to keep them at bay. 

“Spencer, I’m really pleased you finally got sober, I am. But let’s not pretend it had anything to do with me or that necklace.” You swallowed, holding the chain tighter still. 

“No one’s pretending. It shouldn’t have taken me as long as it did to realise and I can’t change that. But I found a reason for me to change who I used to be. A reason to start over new.” He sniffed, unable to stop reaching for you and cupping the side of your neck. “And the reason is you.” 

Your own tears overflowed, one’s you didn’t realise had worked their way to your eyes. You loosened the grip on the chain slightly, letting your fingers brush over the metal. 

“Spencer,” you mumbled. “I…”

“I know it’s probably too late for all of this and I can’t expect you to just forgive me overnight. But if you think there’s ever a chance you might one day forgive me…it would mean a lot of you would come and visit again.” He let his hand fall to his side again and took a step back. 

You wiped your tears with your free hand and nodded slowly. 

“Can I…I need to think about it, ok? I just need to process all of this.” 

“Of course, take all the time you need.” He nodded. 

You said your goodbyes after that and Spencer slumped back inside, convinced he would never see you again. 

One week later when he arrived in the rec room to meet his visitor, you were sitting at the table waiting for him, smiling softly in his direction. 

And taking in the small silver swallow in its rightful place hanging around your neck, Spencer felt hope. A new beginning unfolding right before his very eyes in the recreation room of his rehab facility. 

As he slid into the chair opposite you and you reached across the table, brushing your fingers over his knuckles, he knew he’d found his reason for being put on this Earth. 

And the reason was you.