#free from the fryer
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*breaks down door*
HEY WHAT'S UP
You can call me Pix (Or Pixel)
I go by She/Her mostly, but They/Them is fine too
I am a young artist, I love making OCs, sharing OCs with other people, and just artsy stuff in general. I also make somewhat okay music, and I'll sometimes post shitty animations (IM STILL LEARNING, SHUT- /j)
My birthday is February 6th
Im cool with fanart, asks, rps, etc. :D
not online on tuesdays and thursdays btw! (Unless it's a holiday)
I am mainly in the JSAB/TPC (Just Shapes and Beats/The Pink Corruption) fandom, but I might hover around in THS (The Heroic Six) and CRK (Cookie Run Kingdom) every now and then ^^
DNIS:
Discrimination of any kind. I don't have to explain this one, really. If you use slurs regularly, you already make me uncomfy. Just don't be a dick, please. ^^
People who post NSFW/Porn/Vore/Anything of the sort, Get the fuck away from me. I am a minor. I don't need (NOR DO I WANT ) to see that.
Anything that is overly toxic, or filled with drama that makes me pick between sides. This includes proship, litterally any bad drama, yatta yatta yatta. Im already very mentally lost, y'all don't need to make it worse. If you can't keep it to yourself, please dni. <3
If your name is Xander, and you are involved in drama with projectstarsystem, DNI please. ^^
People who are heavily involved in politics. Same explanation as anything toxic. I have to deal with enough political shit thanks to my family. No thank you.
If you are going to ask for donations, please don't. I can't donate, I'm sorry. :( I support Gaza, Palestine, and similar causes, but I can't do anything about it.
I AM A MINOR.
Don't take my art pls!!
FYI: If you piss off my mutuals, you'll get me 10x more pissed. <3
@projectstarsystem currently in ur walls 😁 /sillyj
@tetric-electric *drags you in here /j*
@altosys YAY :D
@cyanidecyanidecyanidecyanide FELLOW CYANIDE FAN LETS GOO- /silly
@mugzymiik silly littol guy :3 /silly
@astronic-fr tell me how you make your art so eatable hgeghejhgeghjeghdhjdg /sillyj
@thesealantern Lets dip our fingers into candles together :3 /sillypf
@bjorksversionsworld MOOTZ!!!! :DDD
@n-simp A FRIEND(or wife hehe /silly) OF STARS IS A FRIEND OF MINE!! :3
@sillystarzi PPL NEED TO RECOGNIZE YOUR FANDOM ISTG AGAHGHGAHG /silly/srs
@witchandstrawberry CUBECUBECUBECUBECUBECUBECUBECUBE- /silly
If you want to be on here, just gimme an ask! Sorry if I missed you-
This thingy is getting too long, cya *evaporates* /j
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r u the grew up poor never being able to buy the little things in life u always wanted as a kid so now u buy whatever little thing u want as an adult and struggle with saving for the big mandatory thing,
or the grew up poor never being able to buy the little things in life u always wanted as a kid so now u just never buy anything small bcs u had to learn to live without it and constantly try to save for the next big thing in 500 yrs
#everyones been asking what i wanted for my bday and i always say nothing#like i hate the feeling of getting somebody smthing just to get them smthing like personally#it needs to come from the heart for me. if it's for smthing big like a bday#now like getting someone a coffee judt to get them one on a random day is dif bcs it's just smthin random on a random day i can understand#but idk like as a kid into adulthood the only bday my relatives / guardians have ever celebrated was my adopted brother's n my dad's#the dad bcs hes a hyperconservative dictator lol n the older adopted bro is cus hes got higher needs#so everybody gets more money taking care of him n stuff so u gotta act like u care abt him according to the guardians#but like i never even knew bdays were that big to people. like i mean i know OTHER PEOPLES bdays are big to them#i find ppl who rlly love their bdays to be rlly cute. like i dont think theyre selfish or make fun of em cus theyre judt having fun#n like u only get one x yr bday so have fun with it!!#but for ME? my bday was never anything special n i dont think it is now#everybody feels bad or smthing for me or for not getting me nothing today but it's like?? this is the norm??? im cool with it#ive been thinking abt other stuff like i just dont have time to think abt the pleasures rn. i have to double on the pain or smthing#like my friends always laugh abt how i dont drink coffee/tea or alcohol bcs u cant be in the medical field without a lil smn smn#& it's like idk ! i like ppl that do do that kinda stuff but like! i never grew up with that & it just feels odd to do it now kinda thing#idk im very cheap but also i will use the fact that im cheap on the small stuff to justify wanting to make a big purchase#i have a weird relationship with buying things for myself vs for others like 4 others i will buy watever u want bro#sugar papi ted#hey heres this idk insert raccoon bracelet bcs u like raccoons n love wearing bracelets so i thot of u n bought it#but if i buy smthing for me it has to have a dual purpose or smthing#i got to have a free dessert today n chose the churros over the tres leches cake slicr cus u can judt make the cake#but i dont own a deep fryer so i cant make churros n storebought churros just arent the same#like im just always idk comparing or needing to know the use of things yanno#if i do smthing. i have to see it thru. & it has to have multi purpose#i mean just look at my username jrue ships or jrue's hips like#im unwell when it comes to that#idk is anyone else like this#anyways yea this whole new thing of getting stuff on one day is hard for me like it just never matches up with my time#of course ill see stuff id like to have but like. ill just make myself forget it n by the time stuff like this rolls up it's like idk#i COULD get a new laptop but i got one that works just fine. i got an ipad on its last legs but can i still turn it on? alright
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google images finds
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#I'm actually so stupid#messed up cake last night#accidentally left half a pack of cooked sausages in the air fryer overnight#so had to throw them away instead if having them for breakfast#went to grab my free drink from greggs and forgot to put milk in#not to worry I thought I'll put it in at home#and now I'm out with my parents and just remembered the tea sat forgotten in my car#because I am stupid#😅😅😅
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okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy he’s actually just really cool
#okay so I came to this flat and he wasn’t here. greeted by a very dirty flat with shit all over the kitchen counters over cling film#I meet first my other flatmate who told me he stays in his room constantly bc of previous bad flatmates#has literally just a saucepan and some salt in the kitchen. so I’m like okay spaghetti guy potentially not great but could just be#how this guy is yknow#on Tuesday I get an email back saying he’s coming back from Norway tonight looking forward to seeing you feel free to use the kitchen sauces#rlly friendly message that I wasn’t expecting. I also didn’t know he’d been on a trip i just knew he wasn’t there bc his door was open#(to a REALLY nice room. multiple rlly nice plants (which he has little care labels for!!!) and it’s tidy and pretty#and he’s got a sheep teddy on the bed)#meanwhile I am in my own head bc I don’t wanna cook in the kitchen until I can clean it and I can’t clean it without moving his shit and#I haven’t seen him yet to talk abt it and I can’t bring myself to talk to him immediately bc I’m dying#and embarrassed as hell by how I’ve been cooking in my room with a microwave and air fryer (loud) and sneaking my shit out of the kitchen#but then yesterday I DO talk to him!! and he’s super friendly!! actually interested in having a conversation and Good at it.#and then he’s cooking and like. spaghetti burns but I’m not there for long and seems to be a mistake (he made the same thing for lunch today#and did Not burn the spaghetti) and is otherwise clearly competent bc the food smells Good and despite leaving a few things out it’s like#washed up stuff isn’t dirty and the sides are better despite still under cling film. more a case that he’s spread out than he’s messy#and now today we talked and i offered to hold onto some shit over summer bc complicated situation that boils down to he’s flying back home#and he cant take all his stuff and had to choose between chucking stuff/having literally nothing this weekend. like sleeping on the sofa etc#and then cleans the whole flat?? which I’m assuming a good chunk is his mess? but he did not need to do that. could’ve easily left#bc there are two people still living here who would’ve had to deal with it and he doesn’t know either at all#and THEN tonight we talk abt food which is fun bc we both ordered stuff. and he offers me some honeydew melon bc he’s been gorging himself#these past two days to finish it before it goes bad/he leaves which is also really sweet#and JUST NOW. I take my headphones out after finishing dinner and hear the sweetest fucking guitar#he plays the gentlest like dreamy sounding acoustic guitar I’ve heard in my life in his room (door closed by the time I leave)#this is actually just a really cool dude#now that the kitchens clear I’m gonna cook tomorrow and will probably offer him some bc otherwise he’s gonna be eating out all weekend#he has extra takeout for tomorrow night but might want smth Sunday#regardless I am just. huh??? left a bit stunned bc of the u turn my opinion of this guy has taken. bc my opinion of him was a reflection#of my discomfort moving to this weird dirty basement flat with two people I didn’t know#well. idk where to go from here. I think I’ll start by talking to him more this weekend. bc holy fucking shit.#luke.txt
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Hey. Don't cry. Badia garlic salt and Country Crock vegan olive-oil butter on toasted Canyon Bakehouse gluten-free 100% ancient grain bread, okay?
#food#cooking#text post#it's so so so so so good i'm telling you#and i know from experience that gluten-free bread is insanely hit-or-miss#but if you put all this together and pop it in an air fryer for 3 minutes at 400 degrees you will ascend to a higher plane of reality#and since it's all vegan and gluten-free almost anyone can eat it!#to be clear i'm not vegan (meat is ahhhh) but i do have to avoid dairy. i do have celiac disease though so gluten is an absolute no-no#it's decently low-carb as well- none in the butter or the garlic salt but 13 in one slice of bread lol#highly recommend it!
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Not having my adhd medication for 2+ days sucks ass, bc it's the only thing keeping me awake sometimes, so I get out of classes and just fall asleep for about an hour, wake up again and check tumblr and discord, am too tired and executively dysfunctional to start anything engaging, so I fall asleep again... rinse and repeat for a few hours. I got lucky tonight that my dad texted me saying he was starting to watch an episode of Black Sails and I was both hungry and had promised to keep pace with him so we can watch the end of season 2 together when I'm home for spring break, so I did that and ate some goldfish crackers.
#the hard thing is that I know if I ate healthier i would have more energy but there is no food they serve here that appeals to me.#and at home it's not much better because my brain is convinced that anything that takes longer than 10 minutes to make isn't worth eating.#but at least at home there's things I can heat in the microwave or the air fryer or leftovers from someone else cooking or something.#I do have a microwave here on campus but I have no access to a store to buy anything fresh nor any way to say... cut up carrots or whatever#so the microwave basically gets used for leftover pasta from if my parents come and take me out to my fave italian restaurant#or those little microwave mac and cheese cups bc I eat those for dinner about once a week. Which is really the only time I eat a true dinne#anyways. The more important problem is that it's incredibly annoying to finally be free from classes after a long day and all you can do is#sleep. I hate it so much. I want to have both energy and executive function so I can get shit done be it classwork or personal fun stuff.#morrigan.text#delete later#personal#vent tw#I'm fine if I go one day without the meds.#it's two or more days when things start to dissolve into sleepiness hell. No clue why that's the case since it's supposed to not last long.#anyways. I'm going to bed now which is the earliest I've gone to bed in probably months. 😭#unfortunately I have to be up at 8:30 tomorrow and I won't get a good chance to eat my beloved bagel and cream cheese#man this semester is fucking miserable. I wanna go home. I don't wanna be here and I don't wanna do any of this bullshit.#I realized that doing an internship this summer means I won't be living with any of my cats this summer and that makes me so fucking angry#and depressed that I can't stand it. I need to see cats often. I want to see MY cats often. I don't want any other cats. Just my babies.#I want to rub Loki's belly and play fetch with Charlie and get yelled at by Sylvie and pick up Ollie and carry him around...#It's been just over two weeks since I've seen my cats and I'm already missing them so fucking much I wanna die.#or rather. I don't want to die because that would mean not seeing my cats.
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#i am pretty sure i cant tolerate potatoes anymore#they used to be one of the safest things and i could only usually get chips from places#i was eating chips all weekend and wondering why i was constantly throwing up#first i put it down to cross contamination from gluten in the fryer#but when i got home my housemate made me mashed potatoes and i threw that up too#and then i ate some gluten free pasta and i was fine after#this is also going to cut out so many of my comfort foods#vent#tw vomit mentions
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"Warning Signs Your Machines Are Trying to Kill You!" by TJ Klune
(Legally, I’m required to tell you that when smart phones first became popular, I bought one and then asked for the address of the app store because I thought it was a physical location I had to go to in order to download apps and not something already on your phone. Also, I was recently told I speak like an old person so as a warning, there will not be any slang you youths typically hear, especially on Tumblr. Any slang I’ve learned in the last five years has been against my will. I still don’t know what FOMO means, and I don’t care.)
1. Oh no! You and your family are trying to enjoy a movie night, but Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) wants a sacrifice at the altar of their god, BeeZos. Should this happen, do not attempt to give Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) a cantaloupe with googly-eyes on it and say that it is your baby. Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) knows the difference between fruit and children. Instead, ask the machine to order dog food, and it will forget about eating humans for a little while.
2. If you own a very fancy vehicle that can drive itself, always make sure to carry a brick. That way, when the car locks you inside and attempts to drive you off a cliff into a gas station, you can break the window using the brick. You will then have to jump out, but make sure you do so in time so you can watch the wicked-ass explosion when the car hits the gas station, and you can revel in your victory over your car.
3. This one will hurt. I’m sorry, but it’s true. Chances are, you’re reading this on your phone right this second. To be safe, after you’ve finished reading this post and have clicked on the affiliated links to purchase my books, you should throw your phone into a volcano and then move to South Dakota where there are no machines, only wind and cows. That way, when everyone else gets the 5GZombieVirus that people on Twitter (I’m not calling it the other thing, shut up) seem to think is real, you’ll be safe with your cows on a windy day.
4. Get rid of your air fryer. Don’t ask me why, just do it. Red flags all around. Danger, danger.
5. Do you know of the Clapper? That thing first launched in the late 20th century (I wrote it that way to make me feel old) where the commercials showed cranky old people unable to reach their light switches, so they got a thing called a Clapper that turns your lights on and off when you clap? Guess what? Those will be the first things to try and kill you. If you love your gram-gram, save her from the Clapper. When she asks why you are destroying it with an ax, tell gram-gram it’s because you love her.
6. Do you live in a smart home? The kind where everything is connected to the internet, including your refrigerator? The refrigerator that holds your perishable foods? And oh, would you look at that: how many ice cubes have you kicked under it rather than picking them up when they fall to the floor? A dozen? A million? The refrigerator remembers. And it will spoil your food in seconds. What then? What are you going to eat? Canned food? Not if the refrigerator falls on top of you!
Unfortunately for you, this is where it must end. I hope this has given you enough information to help you survive the inevitable. If you do not heed my warnings, well. Who cares. I’m not in charge of you. Do whatever you want. Just don’t come complaining to me when gram-gram gets the clap.
#tor books#booklr#new books#in the lives of puppets#tj klune#tbr#sff#science fiction#team robot#unreality#long post
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HARD LAUNCH | minho drabble. established relationship.
“Do you guys have french fries?”
“Minho.” you hiss, nudging his shin beneath the table.
He cocks an eyebrow before turning back to the waitress. She smiles softly, laughing at the two of you.
“We do, yes.”
“Wonderful,” Minho grins, “We’ll have a side order of those too.”
“Perfect. I’ll put that in for you guys and check back soon.” The waitress says happily, collecting the menus and scurrying off to tend to another table.
As soon as she’s out of earshot, you groan, covering your face with your hands.
“Why would you do that?”
Minho chuckles, shakes his head probably. You wouldn’t know since you can’t see him.
“Do what?”
Still using one hand to cover your eyes, you pull the other away, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction. “I told you I’d be fine. Why’d you have to ask for french fries? That’s so embarrassing.”
Minho hums. Unbothered. “You know what’s worse?”
“Literally nothing.” you mumble, returning your other hand to your face. It only serves to muffle your voice more. “This is humiliating. We’re in a nice restaurant and you ordered french fries because of me. Oh God. I’m going to hide in the bathroom.”
A good choice, you think. Minho’s in god damn slacks for crying out loud. Every second that passes is another second that your pity order of french fries is probably spending in the deep fryer, right next to the lobster tail and shrimp tartar that everyone else has a mature enough palate to eat.
Before you can move to get up and make a beeline for the toilet, you feel Minho’s fingers wrap around your wrists, pulling until your hands give way to your face. You crack one eye open and then the other, his amused expression coming into view.
“What’s worse than ordering french fries is me knowing you’ll be hungry if there isn’t something familiar for you on the table.” he says pointedly, like your reason for feeling embarrassed is unnecessary. “Besides, who said I didn’t want any?”
“Min, look around,” you say, turning your head to glance at the room, “The napkins are cloth. Cloth! Nicer than my bed sheets. We can’t be seen eating french fries in a place like this. I told you I’d be—”
“—fine. Because as long as you’re here I can do anything.” Minho recites, word for word, cutting you off.
Heat rushes to your cheeks immediately, spreads like wildfire when Minho smiles and leans on to his forearms. His button up tightens over his shoulders, hugs his arms, sleeves rolled up to the elbow.
“Just like how you’re doing this for me, let me do something for you.”
You and Minho have been seeing each other for four months now, but even at that, you’re still not used to his straightforwardness.
Seeing Minho has been nothing short of a dream. What started as just interacting at parties because of mutual friends eventually gave way to him asking for your number, and then hanging out separate from your friend group, until one day he plucked up the courage to ask you out. Since then, the two of you have been inseparable, always spending every free moment together. Laughing, talking, even sometimes just existing in the same space. It’s nice. So, so nice.
“Shouldn’t I be the one blushing right now?” Minho teases.
“Shut up.” you say, tearing your gaze away from him.
He laughs again before reaching out and placing a hand on top of yours. Soft. Minho is unbelievably soft.
It’s the thing you love the most about him. But more than that, more than the delicate skin of his fingers or the brush of his lips against yours, you love the softness of his eyes.
Minho is hard to crack, his emotions shrouded most of the time. Not that he wants to be, but because that’s just how he operates, or so you’ve learned.
But despite all of that, his eyes are a dead giveaway. When he’s looking at pictures of his cats, or staring at you from across the room, or right now as steaming plates of some of the finest cuisine Seoul has to offer are being placed in front of him.
“Holy shit.” he whispers, staring in awe as the waitress walks away from the table.
“Is it rude for me to take a picture? Like, would anyone get offended?”
Minho scoffs. “Babe, I would be offended if you didn’t document this right now.”
“Okay, okay,” you laugh, pulling out your phone.
“Do I get to be in it this time?”
You look up to find Minho pouting across the table. Another thing about your relationship— nobody knows yet.
You’ve been teasing about the possibility of a boyfriend for two months now, you and Minho only having made it official about a few weeks ago. The most anyone has been able to see are carefully positioned photos where only his hand or other inconspicuous parts of him are visible.
It’s not that you don’t want people to know. It’s just hard with his job and all. Privacy reasons.
"For someone who likes to claim that people won't give me a hard time because of your fame you sure do seem eager to test that theory."
Minho smiles mischievously. “Well, yes. But I’m also waiting because I want to show you off.”
You busy yourself with opening your camera app to stop the heat creeping up your neck. “Yeah, yeah. You big flirt.”
Minho laughs but obliges, scoots back to let you get a good few pictures of the food.
Photos aren’t enough to do it justice, though. So you opt for a video, scanning the table with your camera, only the bottom half of his torso visible across the table. A silk white button up only three-fourths of the way buttoned, sleeves rolled to his elbows.
Minho watches silently, his face unreadable. And then, at the last second, he dips his head down so fast you don’t even realize what’s happening until his face is fully in the shot, a shit-eating grin pushing his eyes into crescent moons.
“Min!” you laugh, ending the recording.
He chuckles, straightening back out. “Post it.”
“Are you insane?”
“No, but I’m going to be if you don’t post it and then eat with me.” He nudges the plate of french fries towards you. “Come on.”
“You really want me to post it? You’re sure?”
Minho smiles. Soft. “Never been more sure about anything in my life.” he says, neither of you willing to address the weight of his words.
He grabs your hand, plants a kiss on the back of your knuckles. The resulting flip of your stomach is enough to give you the courage to hit post and tuck your phone away.
Whatever happens, you’ll deal with it later. Together.
[ tags: @102598s @skzstarnet @snowyquokka @jisunglyricist @itsgghowitsgg @alician87 @skzms @meloncremesoda @palindrome969 @ilychee08 @allaboutsan @legally-lixs @astronomicallyyy @doohnut @linocz @romancerry @djeniryuu @pinkpunkdynamite @pynchkilledme @stayceebs97 @candyquokka @liknws @beeracha @feelikecinderella @caitxx1 @lilac13 @sebastianswhore13 @classiclitandmemes @hyunverse @linosazuna @lastgreatamericandynasty1 @bubbly-moon @cookiesandcreammy ]
#minho drabble#skzstarnet#lee know x reader#lee know drabble#lee know fluff#lee know au#lee know scenarios#lee know imagines#lee know fanfic#lee know fanfiction#lee know fic#lee know#stray kids fic#stray kids fanfic#stray kids fanfiction#stray kids x reader#stray kids fluff#stray kids au#stray kids imagines#stray kids drabbles#skz x reader#skz fic#skz fanfiction#skz au#skz fanfic#skz imagines#skz drabble#skz fluff
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okay all i want right now is an umbrella academy spinoff of just the deli fives working in the kitchen like in the bear
ok ok picture this:
deli owner five: i swear to fucking god five, if five has to wait any longer for the brisket, you’re fired.
brisket five: it’s not my fault! five still hasn’t finished the goddamn fries! (clearly at his breaking point)
fryer five: that’s because someone left his station dirty when he left after his morning shift. (also at his breaking point)
clocked-out fryer five: (sprinting out the back door) alright see you assholes tomorrow
server five: alright, i try not to get on you guys about ticket times… but five looks like he’s about ready to walk out.
deli owner five: fuck, give him a free dessert.
server five: okay, but can we hurry this shit up? i’d like a tip if that’s alright with you dickheads.
brisket five: get the hell out of my kitchen.
busser five: (bursting in with a full bin of dirty dishes) drunk five is demanding a fluffernutter and making a scene again.
deli owner five: (shuffling through countless tickets and slamming his fist on the counter) i have zero goddamn time for this five, we’re slammed with this lunch rush and im down two cooks today. help a guy out and get him to leave.
busser five: you pay me minimum wage and i could not give less of a shit. i’m not dealing with him again.
drunk five, bursting into the kitchen: i knew i smelled peanut butter in here (pointing at brisket five who’s currently on grill preparing a burger)
brisket five: this is literally a beef patty
deli owner five: alright man, we’ve tried to play nice, but you’re out of here. let’s go, don’t make a scene. (pulling drunk five out by his collar and dusting off his hands) fuckin’ hell, none of you make it easy, do you?
brisket five:
booth five watching from the dining room: jesus christ
#someone please write a fic about this i need it so so bad#please tell me you guys see the vision#this is so funny to me#also i worked on a kitchen line for 3 years so i made this as accurate as humanly possible#those rushes are the WORST i just know half of the fives are on the brink of quitting#wonder how many have already quit lmfao#the umbrella academy#tua#umbrella academy#five hargreeves#hargreeves siblings#number five#tua s4#tua season 4#brisket five#tua five
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Groundskeeper reader n fast food reader would be friends
Groundskeeper Reader manifests behind the counter one day and while the others are in the back trying to decipher if they're friend or foe - Groundskeeper pulls a spare sponge from their pocket and starts cleaning up a ketchup stain that had been bugging them since they walked through the door.
Fast Food Reader can appreciate some quiet, but they think Groundskeeper is pretty chill if not a bit unsettling so it kinda sucks they don't communicate more because it would be cool to chat with them. FF gives Groundskeeper some crayons to use because the restaurant likes to keep as few sharp objects amongst the staff as possible.
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Fast Food Reader: Hey, Bud- Mind cleaning the fryer while you're back here? Be careful, it might be cursed and/or haunted like 90% of the appliances in this place
[Groundskeeper Reader grabs the holy water from their belt as they walk over to the fryer]
Fast Food Reader: What a nice person.... Yo, S! Looks like your free from kitchen duty for tonight. Wanna hang out or something?
The Janitor: Uh- No thanks, I have to mow my carpet after work....Sorry.
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The Janitor, alone in the Janitor's closet: Mow my carpet? FUCK- I'm such an idiot...
[Groundskeeper Reader hands them a piece of scrap paper that reads - "Just talk to them." In crayon]
The Janitor: [Sighs] It's harder than it sounds- Also, how did you get in here? I always lock the door behind me.
[Groundskeeper holds up FF's ring of spare keys]
#Fast food reader#Groundskeeper Reader#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere oc#yandere x you#yandere imagines#yandere headcanons#yandere scenarios
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A summary of the Chinese AI situation, for the uninitiated.
These are scores on different tests that are designed to see how accurate a Large Language Model is in different areas of knowledge. As you know, OpenAI is partners with Microsoft, so these are the scores for ChatGPT and Copilot. DeepSeek is the Chinese model that got released a week ago. The rest are open source models, which means everyone is free to use them as they please, including the average Tumblr user. You can run them from the servers of the companies that made them for a subscription, or you can download them to install locally on your own computer. However, the computer requirements so far are so high that only a few people currently have the machines at home required to run it.
Yes, this is why AI uses so much electricity. As with any technology, the early models are highly inefficient. Think how a Ford T needed a long chimney to get rid of a ton of black smoke, which was unused petrol. Over the next hundred years combustion engines have become much more efficient, but they still waste a lot of energy, which is why we need to move towards renewable electricity and sustainable battery technology. But that's a topic for another day.
As you can see from the scores, are around the same accuracy. These tests are in constant evolution as well: as soon as they start becoming obsolete, new ones are released to adjust for a more complicated benchmark. The new models are trained using different machine learning techniques, and in theory, the goal is to make them faster and more efficient so they can operate with less power, much like modern cars use way less energy and produce far less pollution than the Ford T.
However, computing power requirements kept scaling up, so you're either tied to the subscription or forced to pay for a latest gen PC, which is why NVIDIA, AMD, Intel and all the other chip companies were investing hard on much more powerful GPUs and NPUs. For now all we need to know about those is that they're expensive, use a lot of electricity, and are required to operate the bots at superhuman speed (literally, all those clickbait posts about how AI was secretly 150 Indian men in a trenchcoat were nonsense).
Because the chip companies have been working hard on making big, bulky, powerful chips with massive fans that are up to the task, their stock value was skyrocketing, and because of that, everyone started to use AI as a marketing trend. See, marketing people are not smart, and they don't understand computers. Furthermore, marketing people think you're stupid, and because of their biased frame of reference, they think you're two snores short of brain-dead. The entire point of their existence is to turn tall tales into capital. So they don't know or care about what AI is or what it's useful for. They just saw Number Go Up for the AI companies and decided "AI is a magic cow we can milk forever". Sometimes it's not even AI, they just use old software and rebrand it, much like convection ovens became air fryers.
Well, now we're up to date. So what did DepSeek release that did a 9/11 on NVIDIA stock prices and popped the AI bubble?
Oh, I would not want to be an OpenAI investor right now either. A token is basically one Unicode character (it's more complicated than that but you can google that on your own time). That cost means you could input the entire works of Stephen King for under a dollar. Yes, including electricity costs. DeepSeek has jumped from a Ford T to a Subaru in terms of pollution and water use.
The issue here is not only input cost, though; all that data needs to be available live, in the RAM; this is why you need powerful, expensive chips in order to-
Holy shit.
I'm not going to detail all the numbers but I'm going to focus on the chip required: an RTX 3090. This is a gaming GPU that came out as the top of the line, the stuff South Korean LoL players buy…
Or they did, in September 2020. We're currently two generations ahead, on the RTX 5090.
What this is telling all those people who just sold their high-end gaming rig to be able to afford a machine that can run the latest ChatGPT locally, is that the person who bought it from them can run something basically just as powerful on their old one.
Which means that all those GPUs and NPUs that are being made, and all those deals Microsoft signed to have control of the AI market, have just lost a lot of their pulling power.
Well, I mean, the ChatGPT subscription is 20 bucks a month, surely the Chinese are charging a fortune for-
Oh. So it's free for everyone and you can use it or modify it however you want, no subscription, no unpayable electric bill, no handing Microsoft all of your private data, you can just run it on a relatively inexpensive PC. You could probably even run it on a phone in a couple years.
Oh, if only China had massive phone manufacturers that have a foot in the market everywhere except the US because the president had a tantrum eight years ago.
So… yeah, China just destabilised the global economy with a torrent file.
#valid ai criticism#ai#llms#DeepSeek#ai bubble#ChatGPT#google gemini#claude ai#this is gonna be the dotcom bubble again#hope you don't have stock on anything tech related#computer literacy#tech literacy
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— coast2coast (pt. one) || l.s.k
pairing: life guard!leon kennedy x surfer!fem!reader
tags: surfing au! set in malibu, 1998, i wrote this with re2 leon in mind but re4 leon works too, featuring claire (and chris in later parts!), UNEDITED!! so far only fluff (unheard of...) i'll add as i go!
oh actually, my shitty attempt at knowing anything about surfing despite learning everything through youtube, google and malibu rising by taylor jenkins reid (what started this whole thing). i am NAWT a pro --- so if any of you guys actually know a thing or two abt surfing hit me up!!! i'd love to learn more!
summary: Summer is a fickle thing, sticky-sweet and fleeting, gone before you're ready. You've learnt to love it while it lasts. For you, every summer has been the same—surf, sand, salt-water tides and the hot Malibu breeze. But this summer brings a new sort of challenge, a spotlight your not so sure you're ready for, as well as a boy with golden hair, eyes as blue as the waves, and a way of making your heart rattle between your ribs like it’s desperate to break free.
word count: 2.6k
a/n: AHH HI! i'm so excited to post this one!! it's currently summer here in australia and i've been down at the beach nearly every weekend, so it was only inevitable that my fixation on surfer!leon came back full force. i have this big story all set up in my head, but i was too excited to wait to finish writing it so i'm posting it in parts!! ++ oh also i had no idea corral beach was an actual place in malibu so my version is fictionalised. just. take everything in this fic with a grain of salt i have no idea what im doing lol
i also thought it'd be really fun idea since i'm so busy nowadays, that if you guys are interested at all, you can send in little ideas for blurbs for surfer!leon, and i'd love to write them! i'll figure out ways to fit them into the story, just as little extras, but obviously no promises on writing all of them!! i'll likely just pick the ones i think fit best into the plot. i just think that'd be AWESOME!! <3
playlist⭑masterlist⭑AO3 ⭑ series masterlist⭑next part (coming soon)
California is exactly how you’d left it. Exactly how you remember it. Nothing has changed between the sand beneath your toes and the palm trees lining the scorching hot tar roads, their shadows stretching long and thin like sleepy cats in the afternoon sun. The salt-kissed air wraps around you, sticky and warm, a gentle reminder that time moves slower here. Or maybe it doesn’t move at all.
That’s the thing about California. A time capsule—sun, sand and sky.
June, July, August, Summer melts in your mouth like a sticky popsicle, one into the next, so quick you forget what it tastes like before it’s even passed.
No matter where you are in the world, what waves you're chasing, whether it be in Oceania, the Pacific, the Atlantic, summer melts, fickle and eager.
You’ve learnt to love it while it lasts.
“Another fish and chips!” One of the waitress staff calls from the front—Bunny’s Seafood Diner has been around for as long as you can remember, a weathered little gem perched off the coast of Corral Beach, Malibu. A quick and convenient right turn off the PCH, it’s a lighthouse for road-tripping families and sunburned surfers chasing their next ride.
You flip the fryer around your wrist with a practised flourish, “On it!” You call back, before you dip the metal back in the bubbling oil, the familiar sizzle of golden fries accompanying the bustle of the late afternoon rush. The kitchen smells of salt and grease and the faint tang of fresh-caught fish, a scent so familiar it clings to your skin like a second layer.
Claire breezes past with lazy grace, bumping her hip against yours. “Heading to the surf after?” she asks, her grin as wide as the beach outside, like her mouth was made for holding sweet oranges on hot summer days. She’s balancing a seafood basket in one hand and a plate of fries in the other, weaving through the bustle with the ease of someone who’s done it a thousand times before.
“How’s the forecast looking?” You ask back instead, tossing the crispy fries into a basket lined with deli paper.
“High tide in twenty,” Claire winks over her shoulder at you, side-stepping a counter corner like it’s second nature. “It’s gonna be perfect.”
You can’t deny that does sound perfect. After a shift as long as the one you’ve worked today, a surf might be all you need to feel alive again. You look back up at the foggy old clock on the wall—ten minutes left, five if you can sweet-talk your manager. You end up counting the minutes in your head, that familiar itch to feel the sand under your feet and the sun on your skin insatiable.
By the time the clock hits four, you’re halfway out the door, ready to trade the smell of fried seafood for the briny tang of the ocean instead. Claire is hot on your heels, boards tucked under both your arms as she chases you across the tar road that burns under your bare feet, down the splintering boardwalk, and onto the powdered-sugar sands of Corral Beach.
The sun has already dipped far past it’s zenith, and the world feels washed in gold. Golden rays stretch out across shimmering waters, painting streaks of honey over the horizon, the heat settling into a balmy hum that sticks to your skin in a way you can only love.
You follow the shaded path of sycamore trees until the beach opens up to surfer’s paradise—a long stretch of sand, waves that swell and crash, aching to be carved into by hungry surfers. The path curves past a weathered wooden bulletin board, been there as long as you can remember, and you think it might be older than Bunny’s, if that’s even possible.
“Wait!” Claire stops in her tracks, and you are helpless but to comply. Your eyes stay glued longingly to the beach while Claire’s squint at the array of flyers pinned up��some faded, some fresh. There’s a yoga class, a missing dog poster, and the usual surf report stapled to the corner, its ink smudged from damp fingers. But her eyes zero in on something bright and bold and new.
“Here we go.” She plucks a flyer off the board, turning it toward you like she’s struck gold. The words Corral Beach Annual Surf Comp are printed in big, blocky letters, accompanied by a grainy photo of a surfer carving into a wave.
“Oh, no,” you groan, already shaking your head.
“Oh, yes,” Claire says, a grin spreading across her face.
Claire’s been singing the same song since you were fifteen and cutting through waves better than most kids your age here on Corral Beach. That you should be out there winning trophies and medals and 10k cheques instead of cleaning out the back of the greasy old fryer’s in Bunny’s.
“C’mon, you have to do it!” She bugs on, waving the flyer around like some magic wand.
You laugh, ducking under her arm as she tries to push it into your face. “Claire, come on.”
“I’m serious!” she insists, jogging to catch up with you as you head toward the water. “You’re out here every day. You’ve got the moves, the skill—everything they’re looking for.”
It’s not like you haven’t thought about it. You’ve been surfing since before you could walk. You’d grown up right here on Corral Beach, knew these waves better than yourself. You’d watched your parents chase waves like it was their religion—Bali, Costa Rica, Australia, it was their entire life. Something they loved that was inevitable for you to love too.
“I’m just not the competition type,” you shrug, gaze drifting out to the waves curling in the distance. It’s not that you don’t want to—well, okay, maybe it is. The idea of standing out there, under the scrutiny of judges, crowds, and strangers, feels about as foreign as the first time you stepped onto a board. Surfing, to you, is about as religious as it is to your parents. An outlet, an art form, the ocean calms your restless soul when you need it most. Putting a score to something like that just doesn’t feel right.
“You’re one of the best surfers out here.” Claire presses, she does it so effortlessly. Poking and prodding, always enough but never so much as to push you over the edge. “Half the people in those comps are just there for a shot at a new wetsuit.”
You meet Claire’s gaze, hesitate, the memory of your dad paddling out at dawn or your mom teaching you how to duck dive flickering in your mind. “It’s not about that. My parents taught me how to surf before they taught me how to say mom and dad. They’d enter comps now and then, but it was never about winning. It was about the waves, the adventure.”
“And you don’t think that’s in you too?” Claire asks, raising an eyebrow as she shields her eyes against the sun.
“Maybe it is,” you say finally. “But that’s their story, not mine.”
Claire’s gaze softens for all of a second before she snorts, shoving your shoulder with her own. “You’re so full of it. You’ve got more talent in your pinky than most people out there. Just think about it, okay? It could be fun.”
You do nothing of the sort.
The second your feet are in the water, you forget all about the comp, all about your job and any other worries on your mind. Salt water seems to have that sort of effect on you. Wasting no time, both you and Claire paddle past the surf, straddling your boards in the ocean, watching as the other surfers before you take off one by one with each new wave that rolls in.
It doesn't take long before the first wave in a gorgeous set comes in, Claire’s all but primed for it. She takes off, gets into position, and pops up on her board, carving into it like it’s breathing. You follow suit as the next one comes in, and just like that, you fall into the rhythm of the ocean.
Wave after wave, you don’t stop until the sun is cotton candy pink, purple, gold. Most of the other surfers have dispersed by now, and Claire’s traded shredding the bigger waves for wading through the calm waters with her back pressed against the flat of her board.
You, on the other hand, feel like fate is decidedly on your side. You watch as another set rolls in, the first crashing just out of reach. It peels exactly as you’d hoped, slowly to the right, so when the next one rolls in right after, you paddle with it, catch the feeling of the tide underneath you, and like it's simply second nature, get to your feet.
This is where you feel most alive. There is not a second to spare for the other noise in your head, not about the past nor the future nor anything in between other than right here and now. Nothing but the instinctual insistence of how much longer can you stay on? How much longer can you keep your balance? Lean left, right, forward. Better, longer, more, more, more.
And when you’ve finally completed your balancing act, you dance up to the nose, hovering there on the tip of your board, arms out to steady yourself like sails catching wind, and then you close your eyes and let the crash of the wave topple you off.
It’s only once you’ve resurfaced, board nowhere to be seen, that you realise you didn’t feel the familiar tug of the leash around your ankle. By the time you drag yourself to shore, breath heavy and hair clinging to your face, you see it—the measly cord trailing behind you, frayed and snapped clean.
You huff a sigh, not surprised. It had been old crap for a while now. So had the board, but it carried enough summers in its scars to mean something. A history you weren’t quite ready to part with.
Claire’s already gathering her things by the time you meet her on the sand, shaking out her towel and tossing it into her worn tote bag.
“What happened to your board?” she asks, her tone casual, but her raised brow suggests she’s caught the fraying leash.
You lift your ankle and let the cord dangle, the sad state of it all the explanation she needs.
She winces, offering you a sympathetic smile. “Ouch. Guess it’s finally time for a new one?”
It’s only when you’re halfway up the beach that you spot it again. Your board? Your board!
It’s leaning lazily against the base of a lifeguard tower, looking as though it had simply wandered off and decided to wait for you all this while. Relief blooms in your chest, and you call to Claire that you’ll catch up.
It’s only when you’re closer that you notice him.
He’s standing by the lifeguard tower, a red rescue can slung casually over his shoulder. Blonde hair catches the light, tousled and damp like he’s been in the water himself. His broad shoulders are framed by the white-and-red uniform shirt that looks a little too crisp for someone who spends their day in the sun.
You can tell he’s new. There’s a hesitation in the way he stands, like he’s trying to look comfortable in a place he hasn’t quite claimed yet. But there’s something magnetic about him, the way he surveys the beach with quiet curiosity, like he’s soaking in every detail.
And you don’t mean to stare, but you’re caught in the moment, the way he looks like he belongs there despite it all, carved from the same sun and salt as the beach itself.
You’re still staring when his eyes meet yours.
They’re blue, impossibly so, the kind of blue that reminds you of the water when it’s so clear you can see straight to the bottom, the kind of blue you could fall into and forget how to breathe. His mouth quirks into a smile—easy, natural, like he’s been doing it all his life.
For a heartbeat, the world shifts, tilts ever so slightly, like the two of you are caught in some half-remembered dream. Something stirs in your chest, familiar yet unnameable, like déjà vu soaked in sunlight. You freeze, caught like a fish on a line, just before his eyes crinkle at the corners, and he lifts a hand in a casual wave.
“Hey,” he calls out, his voice carries over the sound of the waves, warm and low, and you think there’s a hint of the coast in it—just not this one.
You blink, salt-sticky and sun-drunk, realizing belatedly that you’re still rooted to the spot. “Hey,” you manage, shifting your weight on your feet.
He doesn’t move, but his attention is all yours now, quiet and steady, as though nothing else on the beach exists, like you’re the most interesting thing he’s ever laid eyes on.
“Nice ride out there,” he says, nodding toward the water, his voice dipped in easy admiration. “That last wave—you made it look easy.”
A laugh bubbles out of you, unplanned but genuine, a flush to your cheeks at the notion of being watched and noticed. You hope he mistakes it for sunburn. “Easy? You sure you weren’t watching someone else?”
“Nope,” he says, the smile widening just a fraction. “Definitely you. The board gave it away.” He says, nodding towards the board that’s still propped against the lifeguard tower like a loyal dog.
“Ah,” you say, realising. “So it was you.”
He shrugs, sweet and boyish in his sincerity. “Figured it deserved better than drifting out to sea.”
You glance down at your battered shortboard, the paint long faded from years of sun and surf. The edges are chipped, and the wax is uneven, but it feels like a part of you. “Thanks,” you say, meaning it. “Guess I owe you one.”
And before you can really think it through, the words escape you all at once. “You surf?”
“Not like that,” he hums, tilting his head toward the waves. Not like you. “Still trying to figure out how to make it look as easy.”
“That’s how it starts,” you say, a grin pulling at your lips despite yourself. “You’ll get there.”
He shrugs, a bit sheepish. “We’ll see. I’m mostly here for this,” he hefts the rescue can with a crooked smile. “Started lifeguard training last week. Figured I’d better get to know the locals.”
“Locals, huh?” You arch a brow, a subtle quirk to your lips. “And I’m one of those?”
“Definitely,” he grins, his voice sure now, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’ve got that look.”
“What look?”
“Like this is where you belong.”
The words hang in the air, sweet and sticky like the heat of the day. For a moment, you don’t know what to say.
“Well,” you manage, recovering with a nod toward the tower. “Welcome to Corral Beach. Try not to let it chew you up and spit you out.”
He laughs then, and it’s warm, golden—like sunlight filtering through the trees. “I’ll do my best.”
He steps back, making space for you to collect your board, though his gaze lingers, like he’s reluctant to go but knows he should.
“See you around?” he asks, the question carrying a hopeful edge.
“Maybe,” you say, the word feeling light and easy as you turn toward the parking lot.
You don’t look back, but you feel his eyes linger, and it leaves a quiet sort of thrill in your chest, like the first rush of catching a wave.
likes n reblogs r very much appreciated <3
#spilled ink ₊˚⊹♡#IM SORRY IF THE ENDING FEELS UNFINISHED#AS I SAID I GOT SUPER EXCITED TO POST#updates will be slow as usual so im sorry about that!! that's why im hoping blurbs will be enough to fill the space in between if anybody#is interested of course#leon kennedy#leon s kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#resident evil fanfiction#leon kennedy fanfic#leon kennedy x you#leon kennedy x y/n#leon kennedy fanfiction#sweeterthanficstion#coast2coast#surfer!leon
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Barbara Gordon's Coding & Computer Cram School is a popular YouTube series. Tucker Foley is a star student.
Barbara Gordon's Cram School posts free online courses for both coding and computer engineering. Think Crash Course in terms of entertainment, but college lecture in terms of depth. Hundreds of thousands of viewers flock to it— students who missed a class, people looking to add new skills to a resume, even simple hobbyists. It’s a project Barbara’s proud of.
Sometimes, when she wants to relax, she’ll even hop in the comments and spend an afternoon troubleshooting a viewer’s project with them.
User “Fryer-Tuck” has especially interesting ones. Barbara finds herself seeking out his comments, checking in on whatever this crazy kid is making next. An app for collecting GPS pings and assembling them on a map in real-time, an algorithm that connects geographic points to predict something’s movement taking a hundred other variables into account, simplified versions of incredibly complex homemade programs so they can run on incredibly limited CPU’s.
(Barbara wants to buy the kid a PC. It seems he’s got natural talent, but he keeps making reference to a PDA. Talk about 90’s! This guy’s hardware probably predates his birth.)
She chats with him more and more, switching to less public PM threads, and eventually, he opens up. His latest project, though, is not something Barbara has personal experience with.
FT: so if you found, hypothetically, a mysterious glowing substance that affects tech in weird and wacky ways that could totally have potential but might be vaguely sentient/otherworldly…. what would you do and how would you experiment with it. safely, of course. and hypothetically
BG: I’d make sure all my tests were in disposable devices and quarantined programs to keep it from infecting my important stuff. Dare I ask… how weird and wacky is it?
FT: uhhh. theoretically, a person composed of this substance once used it to enter a video game. like physical body, into the computer, onto the screen? moving around and talking and fighting enemies within the game?
FT: its been experimented with before, but not on any tech with a brain. just basic shields and blasters and stuff, its an energy source. also was put in a car once
FT: i wanna see how it affects software, yk? bc i already know it can. mess around and see how far i can push it
BG: […]
FT: … barbara?
BG: Sorry, thinking. Would you mind sharing more details? You said “blasters?”
Honestly. Kid genius with access to some truly wacky materials and even wackier weapons, she needs to start a file on him before he full sends to either hero or villain.
[OR: Tucker is a self-taught hacker, but if he were to credit a teacher, he'd name Barbara Gordon's Coding & Computer Cram School! He's even caught the attention of Dr. Gordon herself. She's full of sage advice, and with how she preaches the value of a good VPN, he's sure she's not pro-government. Maybe she'll help him as he studies the many applications of ecto-tech!]
#she does end up sending tucker a PC lol#and after she learns he has experience supporting a superhero team maybe pushes his name forward to WEs outreach program for r&d potentials#picks him up by the scruff and says MY coding buddy#also fun fact she had a phd in library science at one point. i like that about her i think we should talk about it a little more#also tucker was making a ghost reporting & tracking app for amity parkers#dpxdc#dcxdp#barbara gordon#tucker foley#prompt#kipwrite
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Monster, Inc. 2
Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as age gap, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.
Summary: your boss is an asshole, you know this. But what happens when he turns his wrath upon you? (plus!reader)
Characters: Lloyd Hansen, this reader is known as Missie.
Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜
💼Part of the Bad Bosses AU💼
“Mr. Hansen,” you trill into the foyer, “I have your breakfast.”
You ease shut the door behind you and pause to kick off your kitten heels on the mat. It’s one of those days your boss has decided to work from home but it doesn’t make your day any less jam-packed. You wait for an answer, not that you ever get one, and proceed.
You go to his office and find it empty. You frown. You leave his breakfast on the oval island in the kitchen and bounce around to the bottom of the stairs, “Mr. Hansennnnn.”
Nothing. You check your phone. By chance, had he changed his mind. Is he at the office waiting for his organic egg white wrap with spinach and feta? You don’t see any new emails or missed calls. You hum and teeter in indecision. You don’t go upstairs.
You tap on Mr. Hansen, listed under your favourites, and put your phone to your ear. You wait and hear the distant ringtone. The line goes dead as the call is dismissed. You sigh and try again. What is he up to? The same thing. He declines your call and you shake your head at the echo of the curtailed ringtone.
Fine, you can wait for him to come home. Sometimes, you feel like you’re looking after a spoiled child. He reminds you of your baby brother and how your mother would struggle to get him out of bed for school. Rami was always such a brat.
If he takes a while, you’ll reheat the wrap in the air fryer. You surpass it and enter the laundry room. You put the dryer on fluff to refresh the load the maid left in there and pace around impatiently. You go through the RSVP requests for Mr. Hansen and decline those you know he’ll roll his eyes at.
The dryer finishes its quick tumble and you fold the delicates into the waiting basket. You finish and carry the aromatic clothes out through the kitchen and to the bottom of the stairs. Again, you chirp up after Mr. Hansen.
“I’m coming up with your laundry, sir,” you warn as you get no answer.
You warily begin the ascent as you clutch the handles of the basket. You peer around the hall and continue on down towards the left. Slow, shuffling steps towards the slightly ajar door at the end. You go to set down the load by the door frame and the door swings open abruptly.
“Missie!” Lloyd grabs you and pulls you inside as you squeal. “There the fuck you are.”
“I called--” you choke as he keeps a hold of your arm and drags you across the bedroom, “sir, your breakfast is downstairs--”
“Missie, shut up!” He snarls as he urges you on and you scramble to keep from tripping.
He shoves you through another door and your hip hits the frame with a thump. You rub it as he lets you go and you turn to face him as he follows you in. The space is made brighter by the four bulbs under glass shades that shine over the mirrors. You reel as you try to steady yourself after his sudden seizure.
You realise he’s in no more than a pair of silk black boxers, if you can call them that. They’re short enough that they barely touch his thighs. His thick muscular thighs. The elastic clings to his equally firm torso and you try not to show your discomfort.
“Sir, what’s going on?”
“Do you see it?” He turns and pulls a small round mirror closer as wiggles his upper lip. The mirror is attached to a bending arm and tilts all around. “Missie, tell me I’m seeing things.”
He grabs your shoulder and points to his mustache with his other hand. Amid the sandy brown cluster of neatly trimmed hair is a single silver strand. It’s not very obvious unless you’re looking for it.
“Uh, your mustache?”
“The goddamn grey!” He snarls and shakes you, “this is all your fault.”
“What?” You squeak, “my fault?”
“That goddamn cake! Forty-six? Like you’re rubbing it in my face,” he lets you go and turns back to the large mirrors, leaning in to push out his upper lip with his tongue. He growls, “I hired you to lessen my stress so why the fuck is this--” He faces you again and points at his mustache, “happening?”
“Sir, um, well, you could pluck it--”
“Fuck off!”
“Dye?”
“Shut up! You stupid bimbo,” he snarls and crosses his arms, leaning against the marble counter, “I don’t need your stupid ideas.”
“Yes, sir,” you nod, “ but, er, why... what did you need? I could bring your breakfast up--”
He looks at you so sharply you swallow your question. He curls his lips and huffs. His eyes crawl down your body and he angles his head coyly.
“You pull with that ass?” He scoffs.
“Excuse me, sir--”
“You heard me? Lotta of chubby chasers? Feeders? Weirdos?” He says.
“Sir,” you resist a frown, your cheeks trembling, “that’s... not work.”
“You’re on my dime, I’m asking, so it’s work,” he insists. He drops his chin and looks down at himself. He flexes his chest, “I know damn well you’re not getting grade A meat like this.”
You avert your eyes and sniff, “sir, I’m single and not looking but I appreciate you asking.”
“Ugh, are you always so annoyingly happy?” He sneers.
“It’s a nice day, sir. Bright out. And you know, a lot of women would say that grey makes you more distinguished,” you suggest, “now your mustache matches your head.”
His eyes dart back to you and he stands straight, “what?”
“Well, er...” you gesture vaguely up, “you know...” you touch your temples. His are shaved but you can still see the lightness there, “er, nothing, sir. I’m just uhhhhh rambling. Anyway, I will go warm up your wrap--”
He blocks you, jabbing you in the stomach as he corners you in the bathroom, “I don’t have gray hair.”
“Sir, you don’t, I’m colour blind.”
“I don’t,” he insists again.
“No, sir, no greys.”
“I fucking don’t,” he barks and turns to the mirror once more, touching the sides of his head. His eyes are fiery in his reflection and scale over to you again, “get the fuck out!”
“Sir,” you smile and cheek twitches. Oof. It isn’t going to be an easy day.
#lloyd hansen#dark lloyd hansen#dark!lloyd hansen#lloyd hansen x reader#series#drabble#monster inc#the gray man#au#bad bosses
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