#free WILL

[jt1674]

[ezras-left-thumb]

I'm currently writing it 😔(along with 5 other fics and a separate piece)

something about an extremely long, complex, traumatising and tear-jerking umbrella academy fic is speaking to me right now

[daily-spooky]

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[silver-stake-through-the-heart]

Sam (Wesson): There's just something in my blood. Like I was destined for something different. What about you? You ever feel that way?

Dean (Smith): I don't believe in destiny. I do believe in dealing with what's right in front of us, though.

[jensensitive]

Changing Channels as gay dean propaganda. After Gabriel I guess sees Dean watching Dr. Sexy, somehow knows Dean likes Dr. Sexy, AND after Gabriel sees just how Dean reacts to his Dr. Sexy and sees that Dean’s crush is so legit as to break the illusion and help Dean uncover Gabriel, Gabriel– as his torture meant to break them– scripts Dean into a sitcom scene version of Supernatural where he’s hooked up with a random woman in a bikini. This is Supernatural as a tv show written by Gabriel within Chuck’s universe, so it’s essentially a parody of the most shallow read of the show possible. And while Dean’s reaction to Dr. Sexy was entirely unscripted and real, a true act of his free will, his encounter with the woman in the motel room is entirely forced, scripted by an angel, and fake.

WOMAN But we did do work! In depth.

Laugh track. DEAN waves at her as she leaves. SAM shuts the door and shakes his head. DEAN speaks through a forced smile.

DEAN How long do we have to keep doing this?

And it’s torture, and it's so interesting that this in particular is torture, because it's not like getting shot or slapped or strapped to a machine to get hit in the balls, it's just a dollhouse version of Chuck’s bigger universe, endlessly playing their parodistic roles that Gabriel has assigned to them.

And then Dean, in another genuine act of free will, goes on to figure out the Trickster is an angel because of Cas’s literally disrupting the plan by breaking into the fake, scripted Supernatural™ where Dean is scripted to act as if he's had sex with a random hot woman, and Dean figures it out because he can read Cas and knows him and can tell that Cas knows Gabriel just by seeing how he looks at him.

[dalliancekay]

Why didn't Aziraphale tell Crowley everything...

...that Metatron told him? Why keep it in bits and pieces? Why panic so hard over what to say?

I think Aziraphale made a decision here. He will let Crowley decide. He will not tell him about his own, impossible choice. He must leave his beloved Earth. It's his punishment for helping Gabriel, for Armageddon, for not refusing the Arrangement for all of it. For putting Crowley, who he loves so much, in so much danger. He knew this day might come. It did.

But he decides not to tell Crowley the full truth. Not to tell Crowley that he is made to go. That he was given an ultimatum. A 'job' or death.

Because Crowley wasn't, isn't made to go. Metatron (probably) can't (or doesn't care enough) to do that (or prefers if Crowley stays)*. So Crowley can stay. He has a choice. And Aziraphale doesn't want to take this choice away from him.

He knows well that if he told Crowley he himself must leave, that he has no option but take the job; Crowley would follow no questions asked. Aziraphale is well aware how strongly Crowley feels about Heaven (not much differently than he himself feels after all).

He doesn't want to do what Metatron did to him. Make his beloved go to a place he despises.

So he resolves to 'tell him the good news' and see what he says.

But Crowley...

Crowley decides to take that moment and try to tell Aziraphale how much he ... how much he wants them to be a couple. To be together. To stay together. Finally. The things Aziraphale wanted to tell Crowley just mere hours earlier.

We watch Aziraphale's heart breaking in real time. He's so overcome, so confused over what to do...

He loves Crowley so much, he wants to tell him he wants to be together too, he can't possibly leave without...but how? How can he...now? What can he do? Say?

Aziraphale goes through all the emotions at higher than lightspeed but despite his own pain he holds back. He can't do this to Crowley. It wouldn't be fair. He couldn't... not like this.

Aziraphale carries with him an enormous amount of guilt. He feels guilty for the Arrangement, for Edinburgh, for 'Jim', for a thermos with holy water, for not being strong enough and keep his distance from the demon he adores and who he put in so much danger with his behaviour.

These are the flaws I'll allow for Aziraphale, his altruistic self-destruction, his misplaced guilt (as he feels responsible for things outside of his control, leading to completely unnecessary self-blame).

On one hand he knows Crowley values whatever freedoms he has:

Now and before too, even if they were limited by his own job.

On the other hand he feels overly responsible for the dangers Crowley himself has chosen by wanting to spend time with (and loving) Aziraphale.

So the whole Final 15 becomes a heartbreaking mess and they both want only the best for each other, and yet.

They have to be apart. Aziraphale must leave because staying would bring on some unspoken punishment, for himself and very likely Crowley too and Crowley refuses to go because he doesn't understand how can Aziraphale make this choice. AND YET

'Trust me' 'I do'

*IF Metatron is alot smarter than we think, than he knew Aziraphale will give Crowley a choice just as he knew Crowley will refuse it (and I still think Metatron knows something about Crowley's Fall that Aziraphale doesn't)

[hotwife-affairs]

[angelsdean]

I am just always thinking about Apocalypse World Cas's fucked up eye and how it implies that this Cas also suffered many many lobotomies which implies that this Cas was rebellious too until Heaven fully broke him. Which also means Chuck is a liar who lies when he said that our Cas is the only one who ever rebelled, the only one who came off the line wrong and wouldn't do what he was told. No, Cas has always been a rebellious force. Always been subjected to Heaven's manipulation and brainwashing for not staying in line. But what's different about Apocalypse World? Why is that Cas still under Heaven's control? Well, it's a world without Dean. AW!Cas didn't have Dean to remind Cas he "always has a choice" and that humanity and free will were worth fighting for (things Cas already felt but was made to forget again and again). He doesn't have Dean to be that "push" that makes him remember what Heaven keeps erasing and to be that "hand reaching out." He doesn't have Dean to make him feel less alone in this rebellion. And AW!Cas also doesn't have Dean to break him out of Naomi's mind-control and brainwashing. He doesn't have that personal link to humanity, that love, that person by his side. He's all alone, the rebelling angel with a flaw in his code, perpetually being reset by Heaven until it breaks his will and his spirit and he falls in line like a good soldier.

[crimson-and-clover-1717]

I’m supposed…to kill…you

Not I was going to

or I decided to

or I planned to

I’m supposed to…

That’s outside agency. An expectation or a requirement. Does Stede pick up on the nuance even unconsciously?

Ed is signalling through language choice, whether he means to or not, that he Does Not Want This. That he’s being coerced. That this is against his will.

Ed just wants a friend, and to cuddle that friend’s hand.

[4pplec0re]

talia + perfectbride because what ship is better than two characters that have never met each other

[cryonisssnow]

Y'know what

Bat-blob

Blame the hyperfixation :]

[scribblewise]

[nightheatplayers]

hannibal constantly calling will mentally ill like bro you’re mentally ill too you literally eat people

[dee-morris]

Some Random Thoughts on the Nature of Free Will

Thinking about that conversation from the book that got put into The Resurrectionists. Aziraphale is explaining how he and Crowley are good and wicked, respectively, but they have no choice while Elspeth does. Bc humans can't be truly good unless they have the choice to be wicked.

(This is where I usually end up arguing with someone on Twitter lol bc they think Aziraphale is being Mean to Crowley by calling him wicked. It's just a brand name darling, not a judgment call. He literally said in the same breath that he's not TRULY wicked bc he wasn't given a choice.)

So I'm sitting here thinking about free will and the choices the celestials are given, which are not many. And I wonder if one of the reasons they were drawn to the Arrangement was to give them each the choices that humans were born with. One can't be truly good without the opportunity to do wrong, so perhaps being able to work both sides of the equation helped them develop into truly moral beings and not just extensions of their offices. We see in Uz how they're able to work together and bounce off each other to save Job's family, even though the Arrangement didn't properly exist yet.

I've also seen lots of takes and metas that indicate that people view Heaven and Hell as a class system: Heaven is the upper-class privileged majority, while Hell is oppressed, kicked out, downtrodden. I think people forget that the primary difference between the two is aesthetic. Hell has all the same powers as Heaven, and they both intend to burn humanity to the ground in order to prove their gang is best.

No, if we're going to talk about who's got privilege, it's definitely humanity over heaven or hell. We have free will and imagination, which are more miraculous than anything. Sure they've got all these powers and can work miracles and so on, but where's that gotten them? We can actually change things. All they can do is try and influence us to change things, and their success rate isn't high. Two of the most powerful beings in the universe couldn't convince an eleven year old boy to blow things up. That's. Pathetic, actually.

Which brings me back around to the ineffables. Because they actually DO have free will, but I don't think they're used to realizing that they do, which might be why they act a little bone headed sometimes. The show implies and the book comes right out and says that they picked it up from being around humans. And like I said earlier, I think the Arrangement played a big part. They were actually able to choose to do good or evil, a luxury that normally only humans can enjoy.

And the best part of this, for me anyway, is knowing that everything that they are to each other is a conscious choice. Aziraphale didn't want to be a fighter, so he gave his sword away and made the conscious choice to be soft and silly and get into scrapes. And Crowley chooses to come to his rescue because he likes it, not because he is obligated. It's a way for him to choose to do good without getting in trouble. They are each other's outlet to explore humanity in a way that would be impossible if they were on their own.

Aziraphale speaks French badly and flutters his eyelashes and plans elaborate Balls because he loves doing human things and he wants to do them with Crowley. Crowley drives a sleek classic sex machine with bullet hole stickers on the windows and goes on capers and performs daring moves because he loves doing things the human way and he wants to do them with Aziraphale. The way they interact and work together because they WANT to, and not because it's their Great Bloody Destiny or whatever, is so fucking beautiful to me.