#fr i dont expect many people to be in on it lol

[alagaesia-headcanons]

I'm so curious guys, I've gotta know. I've rambled about shipping Murtagh and Orrin here several times and I'm desperately curious if I've piqued anyone's interest. (If you don't know what in the world I'm talking about you can look here, and also the last section of this post)

[phagodyke]

wugh

[fandomhopped]

first love/late spring

pairing: fwb!logan howlett x fem!reader; 2nd person pov

summary: logan and reader have been sleeping together for a while with an unspoken rule to keep it casual, but that goes to hell when logan catches feelings. however, reader is an independent boss bitch and hates men<3

warnings: heavy swearing, hella mentions of sexual situations, substance abuse, brief sexual content(nothing serious fr), creepy guy in a bar, blood, bar fight, mentions of sex trafficking and resulting trauma, daddy issues, fluff, angst asf, lowkey scott slander (i dont mean it i love him)

word count: 9.1k

a/n: reader has light manipulation abilities but theyre not mentioned that often lol, also reader takes a lotta shots at jean just cuz she pisses me off. side note: idk the true meaning of the song i used as the title, there are many different interpretations. i found the song after i had alr written the story and the lyrics resonated pls don’t jump down my throat if it doesn’t align <3

there’s not a millimeter of space between you and logan as he holds you against his body. you’re sleeping soundly, and he watches you breathe all night, not bothering to even think about sleep for himself. the sun came up three hours ago, he felt it on his back.

when you drink, you always wake up early the next morning. you two drank a lot together last night. and like every time you drink with logan, you ended up in his bed.

he tries to block the sun from your face with his body so it won’t wake you up. he knows when you finally do, this little illusion that you're his will all be over. everything you said last night won’t matter. you’ll go back to your room. he’ll stay in bed. you’ll both go back to acting like it never happened.

you always leave him swiftly. you always go downstairs and drink coffee from the same mug and act like nothing happened. without a stutter, it’s a routine.

since he moved into the mansion, he wasn’t ignorant to the fact that the female teachers were attractive. and, of course, he was first drawn to jean. he won’t deny that he still harbored some feelings for her when you came to his room all those months ago, but she made it abundantly clear that she loves scott.

then one night, you slipped a bottle of whiskey into the mansion and invited him to join you in drinking it. you said some things that made him sit closer to you. that was just the beginning. he woke up the next morning to an empty bed but distinctly remembers you falling asleep next to him, so he assumed you woke up and left.

logan is a pro at acting like some things never happen, but he wasn’t expecting you to act the same. he dismissed it as a one-off, drunken night.

then it happened again… and again and again, and you continued to act like it never happened.

which, he was fine with. this wouldn’t be the first time he’s had a with-benefits situation, but there’s something different about you. you’re badass. you’re beautiful. he really respects you. you fit him perfectly.

and you’re mean. you don’t smile all that much, really only when you’re drinking is what logan soon found out. you’re not always outright mean to people, it’s usually deserved. you don’t take anybody’s shit. you’ll let people know when they’re in the wrong or they’re pissing you off. you’re sarcastic and rudely witty.

that was just another thing that attracted him to you. but, God, were you the meanest in the mornings, especially when you’re hungover.

unfortunately for logan, he has developed a small, tiny, itty bitty, barely-there crush on you. just catching a scent of your perfume has him rolling his eyes in the back of his head and white-knuckling whatever is directly in front of him.

the thoughts of you under him, on top of him, in front of him, on your knees for him plague his mind all. day. long. then last night, you had him rock solid from just a few drunken words.

“you’ve ruined all men for me,” you said as he kissed down your neck.

“hmm?” he hummed as his hands roamed your body under your shirt.

“nobody could ever fuck me like you do,” you told him, pulling at his hair roughly. he lets out a deep groan at the feeling.

he’s never picked up his pace of getting someone’s clothes off so quickly. he ripped your favorite pair of pj shorts in the process, mumbling that he’ll buy you a new pair.

with him deeply inside you, one hand wrapped around your throat and the other sending you over the edge with his mouth leaving marks all over your chest, you say breathily, “fuck, you’re perfect for me.”

the moment hasn’t left his mind since.

“i’m hot,” you mutter, pushing the sheets from your legs. “you’re hot.”

“oh, yeah?” he whispers in your ear, his lips turned up.

“i’m about to have a heat stroke,” you return, squirming around and shoving his arms from around you.

he lets go of you and gives you some space, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. a deep sigh leaves him.

“i’m gonna throw up,” you tell him, groaning and curling up into the fetal position.

“are you serious? don’t puke in my bed,” he says, leaning up to look at you.

you roll your eyes. “no, i’m not serious,” you snap at him.

“‘you wanna take a shower?” he asks, his lip curling up at the thought of you ruining his sheets (and not in the way he usually prefers).

“i feel like shit right now, logan. i don’t want to fuck you in the shower,” you tell him roughly, sitting up and glaring over at him.

he watches you stand up out of his bed and put yout shirt on. “‘s not what i meant,” he grumbles, looking away from her. he throws the sheets off his body and grabs his jeans from the night before.

he runs his hands down his face and then looks up only to see the door closing behind you as you leave him. again.

“whew, late night?” ororo asks you as soon as you walk into the kitchen, changed into some presentable clothes rather than the ripped shorts and oversized tshirt you walked back to your room in.

you ignore the woman as you open the cabinet to grab your mug. the same one you use every morning.

but it’s not there.

“where’s my mug?” you ask, glancing around the kitchen to see it’s not just ororo but also jean and scott there.

“is this yours?” scott asks, holding up the mug in his hand.

your gaze darkens. “yes,” she grits out, tightening her jaw.

“that’s my bad. i didn’t know this was yours,” he says, standing up and walking over to the sink. “i’ll wash it and you can use it.”

you feel your skin crawl as he turns on the hot water. “stop,” you say lowly, walking to him and turning off the water. “you can’t—.” you stop yourself as you breathe heavily. you rip the cup from his hands.

“hey, it’s just a mug,” ororo says to you, “what’s up?”

“it’s not—,” you cut yourself off again and take a deep breath, shaking your head. you turn on the cold water from the sink and carefully wash the mug.

“seriously, what’s going on with you?” jean asks as scott rejoins her side.

you roll your neck. “i’ve been here for years, and you don’t know which one is my mug?” you ask scott, not looking anywhere but your mug until you’re sure it’s clean.

“i never noticed before, ‘sorry,” he says then turns to jean with a shrug.

the light beaming in through the window shines a little brighter as you continue to shake your head, muttering things under your breath that the others can’t make out.

“it really is just a mug,” ororo says carefully, looking over your figure in concern.

“except it’s not,” you retort, attentively drying off the ceramic with a towel. you then pour some coffee into the mug and hold it close to your chest, turning back to the other mutants.

“what—,” jean begins but logan walks into the kitchen just as she starts and she stops herself.

her surveys everyone’s demeanor then looks at you. “what’s wrong with you?” he asks, walking to the cabinet and grabbing whichever cup is closest to his hand when he reaches in. he pours himself some coffee and turns back to them expectantly.

“scott was using my mug,” you tell him, leaning against the counter.

“why?” he asks scott, eyeing the man.

“to drink coffee. why does it matter?” he asks in return, scoffing.

“it’s hers,” logan returns, his stare hardens and he looks at scott like he’s an idiot.

ororo laughs humorlessly. “what does that mean? it’s just a mug,” she asks, looking between you.

you glare at her. “it was my father’s and now it’s mine.”

“the same father that sold you?” jean asks, her face contorting. you shift your weight uncomfortably. “why would you want that?”

“why don’t you just back the fuck off, bitch?” you snap at her, stepping toward her.

“woah, girl, calm down,” ororo intervenes, holding her hand toward you like you’re a wild animal. you scoff. “we get it. it’s special to you. that’s all you had to say.”

you roll your eyes at them. you leave the group and return to your room. logan watches you go then turns back to the others with his eyebrows raised. “did you say sold her?” he asks jean.

“when he found out she was a mutant—,” she begins.

“jean,” ororo interrupts her, shaking her head at the girl.

jean continues, “—her father sold her into a mutant sex trafficking ring,” she reveals, looking only at logan, “that’s where we found her and then brought her here.”

his face contorts, and he looks down into his coffee. “shit,” he comments.

“she doesn’t talk about it to anybody, and, out of respect, we don’t talk about it either,” ororo says pointedly at the telepath.

logan is seething all day over the new information. he hates to think you went through that for God knows how long.

after the incident, logan doesn’t see you for a while. he doesn’t know how. you’re a teacher and you live down the hall from him, yet he still doesn’t even catch a whiff of your perfume.

“logan, meet me in my office,” he hears charles’ voice in his head. he obeys and within a minute, he’s standing before the professor. “you should leave her alone for a bit.”

her brow furrows. “come again?”

charles says your name and logan clenches his jaw. “she’s destructive right now. you should let her be.”

“is she okay?” the wolverine asks, concern growing in his stomach, and it makes him feel sick.

“she’ll be just fine. this happens from time to time,” he tells him, pressing his lips into a thin line. “you know of her circumstances.”

“her circumstances?” logan growls, scowling down at the old man, “you knew what she went through and didn’t think to tell me? you know what’s going on between us and didn’t think maybe i needed to know that? what if she had a breakdown when we were together? i wouldn’t have known what was happening.”

charles’ lips turn down into a small frown. “that’s not my information to tell.”

logan storms off in a huff, muttering under his breath.

that friday, he’s smoking a cigar in his bed, looking out the window at the moon, which is shining rather bright tonight. he hears a few quiet knocks on his door. he opens the door, expecting it to be a student.

“hey,” you say, waving a bottle of jack in his face before pushing past him into the room. “'hope you don’t mind, i got started without you.”

“you always do,” he comments, closing the door, putting out the cigar, and following you to sit on his bed. “listen —.”

“i think i like that vodka more than this. this one makes my mouth taste weird,” you tell him, taking another sip out of the bottle before handing it to him.

he holds it and sighs. “look, we should—.”

“—take our clothes off?” you finish his sentence, smiling darkly at him. “i mean, it’s a little early, but i agree.”

“that’s not what i—.”

“—was going to say?” you guess his words, cutting him off again. “look at us finishing each other’s…” you trail off, looking at him expectantly. he sends you a deadpanned glance. “this is the part where you say ‘sentences.’ i think i’m better at this game than you are.”

he takes a long sip from the bottle before he looks at you. “can you be serious for a second?” he asks.

you scoff and take the bottle from his hands. “i don’t come to you like this to be serious, logan,” you say, putting the whiskey to your lips again.

“why do you come to me at all?” he asks quietly and gruffly.

you take another sip and place the bottle on the floor, scooting closer to him. “because you’re hot,” you say in a sultry voice, putting a hand on his thigh and slowly dragging it up, “and you call me ‘princess’ and ‘darling’,” you continue, reaching for his belt buckle. he doesn’t do anything to stop you, “and your hands.” you push the buckle out the way and unbutton his pants, dragging down the zipper slowly. “and your tongue.” you reach your hand into his pants. “and this.”

he breathes heavily, completely lost in the euphoria that is you.

he forces himself to snap out of him and shakes his head. he pushes your hand away and stands up, taking a few steps away.

“what’s wrong?” you ask him, grabbing the bottle and standing also. “do you need some more?” you ask, holding the drink out for him, confusion written all over your face.

he holds his hands out in front of him as if to deny the offer. “it’s…,” he trails off, pushing a deep breath through his nose.

your shoulders drop along your face. you tilt your head in disbelief. “oh, my fuck. they told you,” you conclude. you turn around and sit back down on the bed. he stays silent, just looking at you. “okay, so what now? you don’t want me anymore ‘cause i’m used up?” you ask, slurring your words a little.

“no,” he denies without hesitation.

your sober personality is back even though you’re still drinking the whiskey like you’ve been in the dry desert for weeks without water.

“then what is it, logan? you don’t wanna do this ‘cause my hair isn’t blood red?” you ask next, raising your brow and looking at him expectantly.

his face contorts. “what’re you talking about?” he asks gruffly.

you chuckle at him. “i’m not a fucking idiot, old man. i know you want jean so bad, but she doesn’t want you so i'm second choice” you say, then you shrug with one shoulder. “i’d’a gone with ororo, to be honest. have you seen her? i’d show her a good time,” you add.

“that’s not what this is,” he tells you, taking a step forward but not within arm's length of you.

“then what is it? just fucking tell me,” you say loudly, the room lights up as the moon shines brighter. “d’you want me to tell you ‘bout how i was a good, little daddy’s girl until i almost blinded my brother when i first got my powers? how about how my dad gave me away like he didn’t love me? d’you want me to cry in your arms about how i was passed around by mean men like a blunt when i was 14? why do you think i can only let you fuck me when i’m drunk?” you ask him sarcastically, but your voice breaks on your last words. you let out an unsteady breath. logan watches you cautiously, unsure of what to do. “is that what you want, logan?! you wanna be the big, strong man here?!” you ask him, crying now as you yell at the man in front of you.

your body slumps forward as you let the tears drop from your eyes, and you grip the bottle in your hands like a lifeline. you feel the bed dip beside you and the bottle pulled from your hands. you move your hands to your face, trying to pull yourself together.

you feel his big arms envelope you and pull you into his chest. that’s when the waterworks really break out.

logan’s never been to best with tears. he hasn’t had to deal with them too much, but his first instinct was to hold you as close as you would let him. he hates to see you like this. in all honesty, he wants to hunt down every man that ever put a finger on you and rip them to shreds. but, for now, he’ll hold you. as long as you would let him.

you wake up with araging headache. you’re hot, burning up, actually. you kick the blankets from your legs and turn over in the arms of the incredibly attractive man in bed next to you. you look at his sleeping face and sigh.

this is the part where you leave, but this time, you just snuggle into his chest and fall back asleep.

logan wakes up later than he usually does after nights like the last one. it’s normally the sound of the door closing wakes him up. but, this time, he sees your cute face smushed against his pec. he doesn’t fight the smile on his face.

you stir quickly after he wakes up. you rub your eyes and look around the room, then to logan. “i’m gonna puke,” you tell him, the remnants of the smile fall from his face. you pull away from him as your face blanches. “seriously,” you add and sit up quickly.

he reaches for the trash can beside his bed and holds it in front of you just in time. he holds your hair back with a look of absolute disgust while you clutch the bin close to your face and your body jerks with each gag.

once you're done, you wipe your mouth with the bottom of your shirt. you groan loudly and stand up from the bed. “i’m gonna take this with me,” you tell him, holding the can in your arms and moving toward the door.

“keep it,” he remarks, his lip curled up.

monday morning rolls around quicker than anybody wants. you walk into the kitchen and grab your mug, pouring coffee and looking around at others in the kitchen.

they’re talking amongst themselves, mentions of grading papers and some stupid answer a kid put as their answer on an assignment.

you just listen and sip your coffee peacefully. that is, until logan walks in. you move from in front of the coffee pot for him to get some. he nods in thanks as he joins your side.

“this coffee is awful,” you comment, pouring it out in the sink next to you. he chuckles at your comment but doesn’t say anything. “scott, did you make the coffee this morning?” you ask him. the three look over to you, almost as if they didn’t see you come in.

“yeah,” he answers.

“don’t do it again,” you tell him, filling the mug with water and leaving the kitchen.

as you watch a group of students take a test, you see logan walk back in his jacket he usually only wears when leaving campus.

“hey,” you call out. all the students look up at you. “keep taking your tests. i’m going to the hallway for a second,” you tell them and move into the hallway. “logan,” you call and he turns around, walking back toward you. “where are you going?”

“to pick up some more cigars,” he answers, gesturing over his shoulder.

“will you pick me up a pack of cigarettes?” you ask him, reaching into your pocket for some money.

his brow furrows. “you smoke?” he asks.

“sometimes, yeah,” you reply, handing him $20.

he shakes his head. “i’ll cover it,” he answers.

“thanks,” you reply, placing a hand on his forearm before returning to your classroom.

he looks down to his arm and blinks. that’s new.

“brad, i know you’re not talking during a test. are you begging for a failing grade?” he hears you say before he turns back toward the front door of the mansion.

logan returns a while later, after the school day is over and the students are training. he finds you in your classroom, grading papers.

“hey,” he greets. you look up at him.

“hey,” you return, eyes dancing all over his body.

“these are for you,” he says, holding out the page of cigarettes.

“right, thanks,” you say and reach for them, your fingers brushing his as you grab them.

“‘you need any help?” he asks, looking at the papers before you.

“do you know anything about math?” you ask him, pursing your lips.

“uh, no,” he answers, shaking his head. “don’t you have an answer key or something?”

“i have to check their work to make sure they didn’t just get the answer from the person beside them,” you reply, looking back down to the papers. “some of these kids are dumbasses.”

he chuckles. “no kid wants to do math,” he comments.

“how would you know? weren’t you born before there were schools?” you ask him without looking up. there’s a beat of silence before you eventually glance up at him. “was that insensitive?” you ask instead.

he just shrugs. “i’m not that old,” he says, sitting in the desk in front of yours.

“sure,” you respond and go back to grading.

the two of you sit in without a word as you grade, and he watches you in complete admiration. after a while, he stands up and walks toward the door.

“you’re leaving?” you question.

“‘didn’t think you wanted your room smelling like cigars,” he replies.

“i’ll join you,” you say, grabbing the pack he bought you and putting the tests in a drawer. he doesn’t object and you two walk outside, to a bench in the gardens, away from the students.

the two of you sit in silence as you inhale smoke and slowly release it from your lungs.

“i’ve never seen you smoke before,” he comments after a while.

“i only smoke when i give up drinking, i only drink when i give up smoking,” you answer, tossing the burnt cigarette onto the ground and stepping on it, then picking another one from the pack.

you pick up your lighter and flick it a few times but it won’t light. you put your head and lighter inside your shirt to block the wind, trying again and failing again.

“motherfucker,” you mutter as you try to cover the lighter.

“here,” he offers his lighter with the fire shining brightly above it. with the cigarette between your lips, lean toward the lighter, looking up into his eyes as you do. he meets your eyes and clears his throat, closing the flame into the top of the lighter and shifting his eyes to the cigar between his fingers. you let a small smile rest on your face afterward.

“so you’re not drinking anymore?” he asks you.

“figured i should go on a sobriety cleanse for a bit,” you reply, “‘t’s probably for the best.”

“probably,” he adds and silence takes over again.

he glances over at her for a second and he sees you bite at the skin of your bottom lip the way you always do when you’re thinking, contemplating. he’s tempted to ask what’s on your mind but before he can break the silence, you let out a hard sigh.

“i don’t apologize for things,” you begin and pause, biting at your lip again.

“okay…?”

“i don’t apologize for my actions or words because i stand by every decision i make,” you continue and pause again. he’s looking at you and you’re looking directly ahead of you. “i’m not good at apologizing,” you sigh again, “but i’m…sorry for some of the things i said the other night. there’s no excuse. i apologize. take that how you will.”

“you don’t have to apologize,” he replies.

you huff. “so i just said all that for nothing? you could at least accept the damn apology,” she snaps at him then rubs the crease between her eyebrows out.

“you called me an old man. i don’t know if i want to accept your apology,” he teases with a crooked smile. you send him a look that turns into a hint of a smile before turning your head away.

“i need to get back to grading those tests. i’ll see you later, logan.” you stomp out another cigarette and stand up from the bench.

“see ya, sweetheart,” he says lowly but you still hear it.

as you look over tests, ororo enters your classroom. “ooh, what’s got you all smiley?” she asks as she strolls in.

the previous smile you didn’t even realize you were wearing falls when you look up at the mutant. “huh?”

“don’t try to deny it. i saw that smile,” she says teasingly. you just roll your eyes lightheartedly. ororo’s brow furrows as she sniffs the air. “are you smoking again?”

“yeah, i quit drinking,” you answer, “what’s up?”

“i was coming in here to ask you if you wanted to go out with the rest of us friday night. we’re planning on going that bar we always go to,” she says, “but if you’re not drinking, i don’t wanna make you go.”

“yeah, no. that’s okay,” you decline the offer.

“alright, if you change your mind, you’re welcome to join us. sober or not,” she adds before leaving out.

the week drags on painfully slow. it’s a week of tests and starting new units in all your classes and you really just want to bang your head against a wall and tell the kids class is canceled.

by the end of it, you actually do want to join your colleagues in going out to that bar in town that they love so much. you offer to be the designated driver, not trusting anyone but yourself to drive you anywhere.

“are you going with us to the bar?” you ask logan as he rummages around the cabinets for something to eat.

“no,” he answers, opening the fridge, “are you?”

“yeah, i’m driving,” you tell him. there’s a beat of silence before you add, “you should come.”

he turns toward you at your words with a crooked smile. “oh yeah?” he questions, “why? ‘you want me there?”

you scoff with no heat behind it. “i was just trying to be nice,” you say.

“you? nice?” he asks, raising his eyebrows in disbelief.

“what? you don’t think i’m nice?” you ask him defensively, crossing your arms.

“no,” he replies, not skipping a beat.

“i’m very nice,” you counter.

“no, you’re not,” he denies again, also crossing his arms.

in his white beater, crossing his arms makes his arms flex and you can’t help but let your eyes wander to the veins of his biceps.

“you have nice hair. there, nice,” you compliment, then add right after, “you’re not balding or anything, which is quite common for men your age.”

“you’re not good at this,” he tells you, looking at your plate to see what you're eating.

“do you want some?” you ask him. you hold your plate across the counter for him to pick off of. he grabs one of your chips and eats it.

“thanks,” he mutters.

“look at me being nice,” you comment and he chuckles deeply.

“shut up,” he returns playfully.

the five of you go to the bar that night, logan joining at your request. he sits at the bar, ordering drink after drink and scanning the bar every so often to make sure you’re alright.

you spend most of your time at ororo’s side. before long, you’re accompanied by a couple of men. you and ororo share side-eyes as they continue to tell stupid jokes. ororo excuses the both of you to go to the bathroom only to move next to logan at the bar.

“having fun?” he asks sarcastically, looking at you then glancing to ororo.

“they could’ve at least been funny, but they weren’t. there terribly unfunny,” you tell him, sitting next to him on a barstool and ororo laughs.

“yeah, that was awful,” she comments and sips her drink. “oh, i see jean and scott. i’ll be back later.” she leaves the two of you. you order a club soda and turn to logan, who is hunched over his drink.

“you have really bad posture,” you tell him as the bartender hands you your drink. he just shrugs and refills his glass with the bottle the bartender left in front of him. you dig your finger into his spine and he straightens up, looking at you wildly.

“why?” is all he asks.

“it’ll help you look more presentable. you’re not looking for anybody tonight?” you ask and glance around the bar for women.

“no, i’m not,” he answers and slumps back down. you dig your finger into his back again and he looks down at you. “stop,” he says seriously.

“oh, what’re you gonna do? stab me?” she asks him challengingly. he looks back down to his drink and shakes his head dismissively. “oh, come on. you’re good-looking, you’re good in bed, you’ve got this hot, animalistic thing going on. why not look for somebody?”

“‘cause i don’t want anybody,” he answers. “did you say i’m good in bed?”

“well, yeah,” you confirm with a one-shouldered shrug.

he stares at you for a beat. this is the first time you’ve ever mentioned it before. you don’t talk about the things you two have done. ever.

“i would know,” you add after he stays quiet.

“you would know what?” ororo asks as she rejoins you, along with scott and jean. they all stand directly behind the man, looking at you expectantly. logan’s waiting for you to make up a lie.

“that logan’s good in bed,” you answer, gesturing to the man next to you. his eyebrows raise and he looks directly in front of him, a smirk playing on his lips as he drinks down all of what’s left in his glass and refills it again. you surprise him more and more every day.

“he’s what?” ororo questions, shock written all over her.

you roll your eyes. “you don’t have to do the clueless bit. jean reads minds and i know she’s told you two,” you state, pointing between ororo and scott.

“what? i haven’t—i didn’t—,” jean stutters over her words, laughing through them.

“liar,” you clock it in a high-pitched tone, sipping your drink. “i’ve heard you talk about it before. i’m just surprised you haven’t mentioned it yet.”

the three of them exchange glances. “okay, yeah, we knew. we thought you would deny it anyway so we didn’t bring it up,” ororo admits.

logan stays silent, drinking like he’s been thirsting for days. why are you doing this? “so…you two are…,” scott trails off. you shrug as your answer. “hmm.”

“hey, sweetheart, you never came back,” the guy from early comes up behind you and wraps an around your shoulders. you tense up at the feeling.

you remove his hand from you. “don’t touch me, and don’t call me sweetheart,” you tell him. he laughs and looks at your colleagues.

“why not? looks like everybody’s got a matchup here but you. let me help you fix that,” he says and runs the knuckles of his finger across your collarbone. he points at scott and jean, then logan and ororo. “i can make you feel good,” he whispers in your ear.

“seriously, don’t touch me,” you tell him firmly, pushing his hand off your shoulder and shifting your seat away from him.

logan doesn’t watch the encounter but he’s squeezing the glass in his hand so hard it’s about to shatter. he feels the red-hot rage crawl up his neck as he does every time he encounters some asshole in a bar.

“don’t be like that, sweetheart,” the man continues and reaches for the strap over your shoulder. chills cover your arms and legs and a shiver runs down your spine. you grab his hand roughly and shove it away from you.

“touch me again and i’m gonna break your fucking nose,” you tell him.

“ooh, i got a feisty one,” he comments to the rest of your group, laughing. “i like that.”

scott takes a step forward. “you need to lay off, man,” he tells him, trying to keep this civil and contained.

the man only laughs harder. “what are you gonna do, glasses?” he asks him and slings his arm over your shoulders. “come on, baby, let’s get out of here. i got a real nice spot for you in my bed.”

“she already told you not to touch her, bub,” logan chimes in, still looking straight ahead and not sparing the boy a glance. there’s a tightness in his shoulders as he uses all his self control to stay in his seat.

“woah, tell your bodyguards to stand down,” he says to you but your only response is to rear back and deck him directly in the nose.

he stumbles back, holding his nose as blood drips into his hand. “you dumb bitch—,” he lunges toward you but logan whips around and grabs him by the front of his shirt, shoving him up against a wall.

“what’d you say?” the mutant asks him lowly, a growl deep in his throat.

“hey, take it outside!” the bartender yells at the man.

“why don’t we do that? you wanna take it outside?” logan asks the scared man in his grasp, shoving him harder into the wall.

“logan, let’s go,” ororo tells him as she walks with you toward the door. he doesn’t move. “logan!”

he drops his hold on the man and turns his back to him. he doesn’t even take a step before the dumbass says, “yeah, listen to your bitch.”

logan turns back around and absolutely socks him in the jaw. the man falls to the ground. logan walks after his friends, rolling his shoulders.

when logan gets out to the car, he sees you in the driver's seat, holding your hand closely to his body. he sits in the passenger seat and looks at you.

“are you okay?” he asks you carefully.

“did you kill him?” you ask him flatly without meeting his gaze, and he shakes his head. “you should’ve,” you say coldly and start the engine, driving out of the parking lot and back to the mansion as quickly as possible.

when you arrive, logan accompanies you to the lab for jean to look at your hand. he wasn’t going to say anything but watching you cradle your hand makes him change his mind. “are you alright?” he asks you.

“fine,” you reply sharply, clenching your jaw tightly. he watches you bite at your lip.

“speak your mind,” he tells you, just outside the hidden elevator. you just shake your head at him. “if you don’t, you’ll take it out on jean.”

“why can’t i just do that?” you ask lowly.

“‘cause she doesn’t deserve it,” he reasons.

you take a deep, frustrated breath. “what happened tonight was stupid,” you say, “dumb fucking men thinking they can get whatever they want whenever they want. now my hand might be broken because i couldn’t—,” you cut yourself off and take another deep breath to steady yourself. “i’m done talking about this,” you say and open the door to the hidden elevator.

he blocks your path. “no, you’re not,” he says and waits for you to continue. that’s when the dam really breaks and you last out at him.

“it’s stupid. all of this is fucking stupid. i could’ve handled myself back there. i didn’t need you to step up and be my big, strong savior,” you tell him angrily, voice rising.

“i know,” he returns.

you’re shouting now, “then why couldn’t you just let me do it? i could’ve stopped him. i’m stronger now. i know how to fight now. i don’t need anybody to save me. i can save myself. i don’t need you. i don’t need any of you.” your voice cracks as the anger starts to shift into the feelings you hate to feel. “i’m not gonna let anyone take advantage of me ever again. and i’ll break every bone in my body before i let some drunk narcissistic man ever put his hands on me again,” you say your peace and breathe heavily and unsteadily.

there’s a long pause, the weight of your words hanging between you. logan doesn’t interrupt, giving you the floor to get it all out.

“i know,” he repeats himself deeply, “but you shouldn't have to.”

you feel that familiar ache in the back of your throat as tears threaten to spill out. you squeeze your eyes shut tightly, pushing all the emotions back down. “my hand really hurts,” you tell him quietly, not trusting your voice. he puts his hand gently on your back and leads you into the elevator then into the lab.

by the time you’re in front of jean, you’ve pulled yourself together and let her examine your hand. you did break your hand. she wraps it up for you and sends you to your room with some pain meds.

logan doesn’t leave your side until you’re at your bedroom door. “i don’t want you to come inside,” you tell him quietly. he stays silent. “it’s just that you’ve never seen my room before and this is mostly where i use my abilities and it’s messy right now and—.”

“‘t’s fine,” he interrupts your rambling. “i don’t have to come inside.”

“right,” you mumble, hand gripping the doorknob. “good night.”

“‘night.” he doesn’t make his way to his room until you slip into yours, locking the door behind you.

the next mid-morning, logan walks into the kitchen to see jean scolding you like a child. he’s surprised you’re just sitting there and taking it without a word.

“i’m serious,” jean says, finishing her tongue lashing.

“i know,” you mumble before jean offers logan a soft ‘good morning’ as she leaves.

“what was that about?” he asks you, moving over to the table where you sit with paper spread in front of you.

“i need to grade these papers but my hand is broken and dr grey told me it would only cause more damage,” you explain, sighing heavily and holding the pen in your healthy hand.

“let me help,” he says, snatching the pen from your fingers and the paper from in front of you. the numbers on the sheet are all greek to him. he doesn’t know what the hell he’s looking at.

“you can’t,” you tell him, pulling the paper from his hands. “you don’t know how to do it.”

“then tell me,” he offers, moving his chair next to yours. “tell me what’s wrong and i’ll write it down.”

you shake your head a few times before giving in. “fine,” you cave and look over the student’s work. you place the page in front of the man and point a certain part of a problem. “okay, so he should’ve foil’d here but he didn’t so the rest of the work is wrong. put a line through it and write ‘foil’,” you instruct him and he follows your orders.

“like that?” he asks, showing you. you nod in approval.

“your handwriting actually isn’t that bad. i was expecting a lot worse,” you comment, leaning into him as you look over the next problem. “that one’s right, so put a check,” you tell him and he follows.

the process continues on. every time there’s a gap of silence as you examine the math that he would never even try to understand, he watches you in complete admiration. there are practically hearts in his eyes while the gears turn in your brain.

as the next few days progress, you and logan spend more time together than you ever have. whether he’s in your classroom during your free period or you watch whatever movie’s on tv together on the couch, if someone’s looking for logan, you’re right beside him and vice versa.

of course, the others have taken notice of it. it’s new and after you confirmed you had been sleeping together, they draw their own conclusions about the two of you.

“‘y’know what i would like to see?” you prompt logan as you watch a show with a lumberjack in it.

“what’s that, darlin’?” he asks, not taking his eyes off the screen.

“you chop wood,” you tell him, looking up at him from your spot under his arm.

“chop wood?” he questions.

“yeah, like, axe, wood, outside, shirtless, sweaty, and muscly, chopping wood,” you tell him, “lumberjack style.”

“lumberj—.”

“with the cigar,” you add excitedly, cutting him off. “maybe add in a little dehydration too.”

“i think you’re drooling a little bit,” he tells you, pointing at your mouth as a lazy smile rests on his face.

“probably, that’s hot,” you tell him, looking back at the screen.

as the credits roll, logan looks down to see you sound asleep with your head resting on his chest. he carefully picks you up in his arms and carries you to your room.

he opens the door and pauses his movements, eyes dancing across your room. there are no personal touches on the walls or shelves. it looks exactly like his did when he first got to the mansion. well, except for one obvious difference.

your room looks completely dilapidated, like an abandoned home that the sun and time have destroyed. the dark color of the wooden floors and furniture has faded, every surface dry and brittle. in some parts, mostly near the window, the wood is completely bleached of its color.

he lays you in your bed and covers you up, taking in the room once more before he leaves.

“why don’t you have another name like everyone else?” he asks as you sit next to him on the bench where you now regularly take your smoke breaks on.

“like a last name? i do have one,” you answer, flicking the butt of your cigarette onto the pavement.

“scott has cyclops, marie’s got rogue,” he elaborates, glancing over at you. you’re sitting right beside him, his arm thrown over the back of the bench in a way that your head rests on it.

“i don’t know. i guess i never understood why i have to change my name just because i’m a mutant. i am who i am, human or mutant,” you answer, messing with a loose thread on your pants. “plus, seeing the way you made fun of the others when you first got here for their names—i’d never even try to think of one now,” you tell him, making him chuckle. you smile proudly at making him laugh. “you looked so cute when you first got here.”

“are you saying i’m not cute anymore?” he asks in mock offense, looking at you sideways.

“i mean, when i first saw you, you had that big jacket on and you were so clueless. a little less muscle too,” you recount, poking his toned stomach to which he curls to the side. your jaw drops. “are you ticklish?” you ask him, a smile growing on your face.

“no,” he replies sharply and gruffly, straightening his posture.

“oh, my fuck. you so are ticklish,” you accuse and dig your fingers into his ribs, attempting to tickle him.

a deep laugh leaves him, and he grabs your hand in his, his facial expression dropping quickly. “stop,” he tells you in warning. you just laugh in his face, reaching toward him with your other hand, cigarette still between your fingers. he grabs your other hand before you touch him, cigar between his fingers. “no,” he denies you.

you look toward the mansion and see the sun reflecting off a window. you bend the light so it’s shining directly in his eyes, almost burning them. he shuts his eyes tightly and brings one of his hands up to his face. as quickly as you can, you reach back into his side.

he quickly stands up and looks down at you. “enough,” he says and points a finger in your face.

you stand up also, but you’re shorter than him so he’s still looking down at you. you decide to stand on the bench, now a little taller than he is. you don’t say anything, just look down on him with a straight face.

logan can’t help the smile that breaks his scowl. “you’re an idiot,” he tells you, raising his eyebrows at you.

you mimic his gesture then flick the cigarette butt onto the ground. “you are cute, wolvie,” you say and ruffle his hair. “i get the whole towering over people know. this is a power trip for sure,” you comment.

“oh, really?” he questions and puts the cigar between his lips. he grabs you around your waist and throws you over his shoulder like you’re as light as a feather.

you let out a surprised squeal as he walks away from your bench with you in his hold. “put me down. bad boy, bad dog,” you chastise him hitting his lower back. he doesn’t listen so you just hang over his shoulder as he drags you into the mansion.

you grab his ass abruptly and he stops in his tracks. he places you on the floor and tilts his head as he looks into your eyes, taking the cigar from his mouth. “‘bad dog’?”

“yeah, wolverine,” you say, gesturing to him.

“a wolverine’s not a dog,” he tells you, smiling down at you.

your brow furrows. “yeah, it’s like a small wolf, right?” you wonder and feel like an idiot when he laughs at you.

“no,” he answers, shaking his head.

“liar,” you accuse.

he tells you, “go to the zoo. there’s some there.”

you look up at him in disbelief. “you’re fucking with me,” she states and he shakes his head in complete amusement. “if you’re lying to me, i’ll—.”

“what? try to blind me again?” he asks, cutting you off.

“maybe i will,” you challenge, crossing your arms.

he pauses for a moment, considering. “maybe i want you to,” he says and his tone drops, like, two octaves when he says it.

you’re suddenly aware of how close the two of you are, how his hands gripped your waist just a moment before, how effortlessly he carried you. the playful atmosphere shifts and you feel heat creep up your neck and across your cheeks. you don’t blush, especially not around him.

“logan,” is all you say softly. he notices the change in tone. he notices everything about you, every detail, every flaw, every perfection.

for a moment, neither of you speak. the air between you is charged. your eyes travel all over his face. he really is such an attractive guy. and when you peel back the tough guy layer, he’s a sweetheart.

“thanks for the ride,” you say lightly, trying to break the tension.

he nods, gaze still locked on you. “anytime,” he remarks, his voice rougher than it was a moment before.

you both stand there for a few more seconds, not really sure where to go from here. his eyes shift from yours to your lip as you chew on it. his jaw tightens and he looks away from you, taking a step back to give you some space.

your heart pounds against your chest unfamiliarly. everything about this feels so new to you.

“see you around, pup,” you say, your voice back to its teasing tone.

“yeah,” he adds, watching as you turn away and walk back toward the mansion.

more days pass and you spend more time with logan. he notices that you make fun of him more, teasing him for small stuff.

it’s only when he’s in the laundry room that ororo catches him alone. “hey, logan,” she greets. he mumbles something of the same. “so…you look pretty cozy with a certain mutant.”

“huh?”

“you know what i’m talking about,” she says, leaning against a washing machine.

“it’s nothing,” he tells her, starting the machine he threw his clothes into haphazardly.

“‘doesn’t look like nothing,” she returns.

“leave it alone,” he grumbles, turning to leave the room.

ororo steps in front of him, placing a hand on his chest. “please, don’t hurt her, logan,” she requests.

“she doesn’t want me the way you think,” he tells her.

“you can’t seriously believe that,” she says, looking back and forth between his eyes.

at that very moment, you turn the corner and your eyes widen. you ignore the sting in your chest as you let out a loud “woah.” ororo quickly turns around and takes a step away from logan. “i didn’t mean to interrupt,” you tell them with your hands up in surrender, but that was exactly your intention when you spoke up.

“you weren’t interrupting anything,” logan tells you, watching you move past him to grab a laundry basket.

“i’m not judging,” you reply, walking back to the door. you turn back last second and look at ororo. “hey, if he asks you to wear a red wig, say no,” you tell her with a wink before leaving.

“i never—,” logan cuts himself off, shutting his eyes and shaking his head. “i never did that,” he says to her.

“God, i hope not. what the hell,” she remarks, shoving his arm. “she was jealous. you need to go tell her nothing happened.” he sighs deeply and takes a step forward. “‘you really still think she doesn’t want you?”

he doesn’t reply and follows after you. you’re walking as quickly as you can up the stairs when he catches up to you. “hey,” he calls after you.

“don’t worry, buddy. secret’s safe with me,” you tell him, picking up your pace as you reach the top of the stairs but he keeps in step with you.

“there’s not a secret. we were just talking,” he says.

you place a hand on your bedroom doorknob. “really, you don’t have to defend yourself to me,” you say and open your door, slipping inside. before you can shut it, logan stops the door with his hand. you look at him through the crack in the door, pushing your lips into a thin line. “uhm…”

“there’s nothing going on between me and storm,” he tells you.

“i’m not gonna tell anybody,” you return, frustration rising in your tone. you push against the door but your strength is in no way comparable to his.

“i’m serious,” he tries again, almost pleading. “i don’t want her, i want—.”

“jean? look at that, finishing each other’s sentences again,” you cut him off with a false laugh.

“come on, darlin‘,” he says, tilting his head to the side.

you groan. “i just thought—,” you stop yourself, sighing. “it doesn’t matter what i thought.”

“it does matter,” he tells you, pushing the door a little wider. you move into the space between the doorway and the door, trying to block his view into the room. “tell me,” he encourages, getting closer to you.

“i thought you weren’t a whore,” you retort, giving him a hardened look.

“that’s not what you were gonna say,” he states lowly, looking deeply into your eyes. “what was it?” you pull your bottom lip between your teeth, biting into the skin. he reaches his hand to your jaw, his thumb pulling the lip from between your teeth. “don’t do that. you know it drives me crazy.”

“i thought maybe you wanted me for more than sex,” you admit, feeling embarrassed as the words slip out. you clench your jaw, preparing for the rejection. a smirk slide onto his face and you drop your head. “okay, bye.”

you move back and push against the door again, but this time he pushes the door all the way open. your eyes widen as he takes a long stride toward you and pulls you back to him by the back of your neck. he presses his lips against yours feverishly to which you obviously reciprocate.

he pulls away and rests his forehead against yourself, breathing heavily. “i want you in every way possible, sweetheart,” he says.

you swallow thickly, putting a hand on his chest and pushing him away. “you don’t want me,” you tell him. he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you back into him, your chest pushing against his.

“i do,” he counters.

“you don’t,” you respond.

there’s a beat of silence. “i do,” he says again. you just look up into his eyes. “i want you. i’m not the best person for you, i know that. i’m older and unhappy and i probably can’t be there for you emotionally,” he lists then shakes his head at you, looking at you like you make the world go round. “but i want you, i want every part of you—the good, the bad, the hot and sexy, and the rude and snappy. everything.”

you’re quiet. you don’t know what to say, what is there to even say? in your head, he’s always wanted jean and you were just a place filler. you’ve been under the impression that you caught feelings and he didn’t reciprocate them at all. maybe you’re wrong just this once.

“i want you too,” you tell him in a whisper. he watches your brow furrow as you look away from his eyes. his face falls. “but—.”

“no ‘but.’ don’t say ‘but’,” he begs, loosening his grip on your waist.

“logan, i can live with you not being there for me emotionally, but i don’t know if you can live with me not being for you sexually,” you tell him. dread takes over your body. this beautiful, morally grey, perfect-for-you man is in the palm of your hand and you’re letting him slip through your fingers.

her visible confusion deepens. “you’ve been perfect for the past few months,” he tells you, misinterpreting your words as insecurity.

you shake your head. “i meant it when i said i can’t fuck you sober,” you tell him slowly, avoiding his gaze completely. you feel his hands move from his loosened grip to a hover over your hips. you can’t read his mind like you usually can. logan wears his thoughts on his face, perfectly readable when he’s mad or happy or just his normal grumpy. but now, it’s like trying to read a book in a language you didn’t know existed. “i’m sorry,” you add when his silence becomes too much.

“i don’t care,” he tells you as soon as you finish the last syllable.

“you know i don’t apologize for shit and you don’t care that i’m sorry?” you ask him. you go to push him off again but he pulls you back in, this time wrapping his around your neck, smothering your face in his burly chest.

“i don’t care about sex,” he tells you as he rests his head atop yours. you return the embrace and hold him around his ribs. “i don’t care if you never touch me again. i love you.” your eyes widen and he feels your body tense up. he chuckles, pulling away and smiling at you. “too soon?”

“a little,” you tell him, nodding. you then smile back at him.

———

a/n: i haven’t written in a long time . pls don’t rip me up if u hate this🙏

[indras-wife]

Thanks for responding to my first request lovely. In your opinion, what type of woman would Indra and Madara date? I cant imagine those two psychos even falling in love fr lol especially Madara

Thank you for requesting this anon💖I see Madara is becoming a prominent figure in my blog for which I am very happy. These two men are undoubtedly interesting to write about. And tbh, I couldn’t imagine Madara and even Indra feeling in love. They both are too occupied with their ideologies, so much that they have no time for love.

Nevertheless, I tried my best to describe what type of women these handsome men are looking for 👀✨Hope I did justice for the request. Feel free to send more fun ideas!

Indra

Indra is a little old-fashioned as the type of woman he would be attracted to has to be someone who is intellectual, sophisticated, doesn’t talk back and knows her place with him. Indra does not love being challenged, especially by a woman, so having a woman next to him who knows how to behave is a very important thing for him. He wants his s/o to be smart only because he is sapiosexual and having smart woman next to him turns him on different levels. A genius man needs a genius wife (in his opinion)

He is also into women who can take care of themselves and dont fully rely on a man. Since he would be busy with running leader activites, planning the next fights with Ashura, training his soldiers, etc, he wants the woman next to him to take care of herself and her responsibilites without relying much on him. If he sees her running errands, giving orders to others on what to do, he will become even more attracted to her.

He also loves women who take care of themselves and arent messy. Of course, he realises that taking care of your skin, clothes and appearences in general is not always an easy task, especially when they have kids in the future and they are running around, but he still expects hi s/o to be presentable always. Not necessarily with full face of makeup or fancy hair styles, but still looking presentable.

Indra HATES women who talk back. If his s/o talks back to him, he would not mind showing where her place is, by putting her in a harsh genjustu. He can always find someone else to be next to him, but he is so connected with his s/o already that it would hurt him a little bit looking for someone new. So his s/o has to learn to not disobey him and talk back, or else he has a perfect punishment for such acts. And to add more, punishing his s/o with a genjutsu is a very pleasurable experience for him(very sadistic…)

Last but not least, Indra wants a woman who is willing to have many children and dedicate her time to raising them into fine, smart, educated people. His lineage has to exceed Ashura's, so having as many kids as possible is the best solution for Indra. (Also he would not let his genes goto waste, No way in hell. His ego wont let him do it)

Madara

Unlike Indra, Madara likes women who can be pretty challenging, especially in fights. The excitement he feels when his woman challanges his ideas about the world is undescribale. He enjoys listening to his love's passionate ideologies about the world, patiently waiting for her to finish s he can crush down her each and very point. He enjoys being in verbal fight with his s/o more, than being in an actual fight in a battlefield.

Madara is also someone who would not date a commoner. In his eyes, he is a God, and next to a God has to be someone who is close to his level. A commoner would be too afraid to even be next to him, while a woman of aristocracy would look perfect next to him. To add, Madara always knew that his status as a nobleman would guarantee him a noble wife when the time came , so the idea of a marriage with a commoner was always off putting and even insulting to him.

One similarity Indra and Madara share are their desires for having a wife who takes care of herself. Madara is a clan leader, so he always has to look presentable in front of everyone. His wife also must look presentable. If he notices some imperfections, like a small strand of hair falling on her face, Madara would scold her and make her go back to the room to fix her imperfect hairstyle. He doesnt care if it hurts his s/o. She chose to be with him, so she has to take his harsh criticism on every subject. This harsh criticism might change only when she becomes pregnant.

On a softer note, Madar wants his s/o to not only take care of herself, but take care of him too. It is no secret that his man has long majestic hair, and taking care of it is a pain in the ass. He wants his s/o to massage his scalp after each shower/bath, to rub essential oils all over his skin and allow him to relax on her lap. This is pure bliss for the man, something he dreamed about for years and having his s/o do it, makes him happier than ever.

Despite being a cold, ruthless man, Madara wants his s/o to be kind, gentle and sweet, Yes this man wants his s/o to be fully opposite of him. He wants to see her be close with everyone in the compound, be they kids, elders or even members from his own clan. He of course gets extremely jealous when he sees his s/o all smiley with a random men from his clan, but he also realises that this is what he wanted his s/o to be like, so he should not complain.(He still scares the poor man off later on, making sure his s/o doesnt hear about it)

[bam-bi-buck]

9-1-1 Lonestar SPOILERS

Aw Jonah and TK 🥺

Mama “I bet that car costs the same house in some places”

Owen and Enzo are this close to acting like school yard boys 🙄

Poor Judd trying to do business stuff and Owen going off

Owen offering to break bread and TK does not believe him but he’s still hopeful and then Owen turns to Judd and was like I’ll show TK and rub it in Enzo face

Weren’t you just it saying that TK and Gwyn fell for it when Enzo was manipulative???

Wyatt using his story to save her life 😭😭😭

Nancy with Tommy at the appointment 😭

Dang girl

My mama “dang she don’t mess around”

I like that Izzy seems comfortable with Nancy which implies that maybe Nancy (and hopefully TK) hang out with Tommy & the girls

Tommy that’s too much pressure

On yourself and Nancy

Mom got a kick out of Enzo knowing Owen’s rent

TK and Jonah having a contest 🥹

I love TK, he’s such a sweetheart, especially with kids

My Mama never watches the sneak peeks and as soon as they started talking about the arm wrestling contest and then TK was like let’s just let it go my mama goes I dont think they’re gonna let it go lol

Bleh 🤢

That’s a nasty break

$350, 000 car

My mama “DAMN we could buy condo for that”

Carlos really still wants to be on Owen’s good side lol

TK snapping at Owen 😭

To be fair though, Owen needed to hear that

Nancy trying to help get Tommy rest days 😭

And Tommy not wanting Nancy and TK to get stuck with an awful temp-boss 😭

Tommy snapping at Nancy 💔

Aaaahhh 😭😭😭

“Nancy WALK”

Mama “She is STUBBORN”

Did TK just appear? Did he run ahead of the others?

Aww for that guy and his future stepdaughter

Oooh god, I really thought we were gonna have another burst gut (911 last week)

And mom was like dang why is that getting popular because apparently it also happened on Chicago Med or Fire recently

I wonder the whys on that

TK’s party is really cute

I love Carlos calling TK out and bringing him on stage with his baseball song

Omgod TK bringing Enzo and Owen together

Them singing together 🥺

Oh gosh darn it

At the PARTY?

Booooo 😭

Also Owen reassuring TK that even if Enzo is bad for the things he’s done to others he’s still good for raising TK right and I think that’s really important for him to hear

Oooh, Carlos really wants to get him that car doesn’t he, lol

Owen and Carlos are so gonna come together to buy a RED mclaren next year lol

Also how many parties/get togethers has that been that’s been runined/tragic for them all now?

Tommy stop, please

You’re gonna hurt yourself

And that’s exactly what happened

Tommy!!!

Oh poor Izzy and Evie

They’re doing so well and Wyatt is coaching them so well 🥺

I’m not sure they know they’re talking to Wyatt so being told “my dads gonna meet you at the hospital” is probably really out of the blue lol

Tommy telling Judd to call Nancy 🥺

I’m sorry, this is so silly but why did she give Judd her purse? Is she not allowed to have it?

The girls being asleep on the hospital waiting chairs and Judd watching them

The Ryders and Vegas are an extended family unit fr

Tommy 😭

Nancy trying to reassure Tommy 😭

“You’re wise and patient, which is more than I can say for myself right now”

My mama “that’s for sure”

I love Tommy wanting Nancy being interim paramedic captain

Promo:

I know people have been calling it for a while but I really wasn’t expecting them to go down the adopting Jonah route

The ceiling is bleeding?

Soup man got shot?

[pines4thetwin]

Ngl, i really didnt expect so many people to like my posts.

I didnt think i'd be perceived so all the attention scared me and i dipped on this account for the past few days. I had posts queued so those posted while i was gone but yeah...

I lowkey dont even know how to operate tumblr fr but ill do my best ig

N e ways... ive gotten over my anxiety of being perceived (just a bit) which means i'm gonna go back to yapping and flooding the stancest tag lol

[emnesoi]

You guys arent really wrong, but its not like religious people dont also get the same treatment from western atheists. A lot of religious people are reactionary, but in left-leaning communities <and many right-leaning intellectual communities fr> there are a lot of people who turn into redditors every time a <usually marginalized> person even mentions being religious because they think we're archaic morons who have to deconvert because religion is automatically Evil/Stupid. Usually youre expected to just tolerate it because Its What They Believe. Western atheists are just as eager to mistreat people from other cultures as religious people.

let the record show that the premise that anon is responding to is "atheists should be able to freely express their lack of belief". i do not know what anon wants from me. im not even the person they want to respond to. observe as well that anon is gesturing towards negative stereotypes of atheists in order to make their point. additionally, observe that anon is drawing a parallel between progressive and reactionary atheists in a way that people with their position are often unwilling to do when it comes to religious people; indeed, the idea that conservative and progressive christians can be considered responsible for the actions of the other is regarded as so obviously stupid that many on one side do not consider those on the other side to be christians at all.

ok, all that out of the way: lol

[our-queerplatonic-experience]

I honestly don't know how to start this cause I'm awkward lol but basically: my mom thinks my close(ish?) Friend is my "boyfriend"... could not be further from the truth 💀 (also sorry this is a bit long btw i like detail & that is a pain for me to deal with sometimes. This could be catagorized as venty but this is meant to be just a bit of a mind dump)

I'm aromantic asexual (romo+sex repulsed/adverse) & bigender (boy+girl), the um- suspected "boyfriend": she's a lesbian trans woman. This has happened a couple times, ligit were that mean gay & overly nice lesbian meme & somehow A NOTABLE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE THINK WERE DATING 💀 told her like imidiatly over text just to clear anything up like if my moms weird or smth. She was just like "oh shit" & we havnt mentioned it since.

What makes it a bit awkward tho is I DO lowkey have a squish/qp crush on her, on & off, but I know that my attraction tends to fade & waver with time (like- Lithqueerplatonic / Queerplatonicflux I guess). So I wouldn't really want to be in like, a qpr w/ her. That & I've always kinda "worry" that my boy/masc part may make most lesbians uncomfortable being in a qpr with me and vice versa with gay men & my girl/ fem part.

Anyway I just have really intense platonic feelings when I do have them & I wish as a society we were more ok with expressing that ;> RELASHIONSHIP ANARCHY WHEN?? when will ppl be "allowed" to kiss their homies goodnight without it being perceived romantic?? WHEN ;D (I'm also on the aplatonic spectrum, dont have many friends & dont plan on having many. I think too many ppl overwhelm me.)

My ideal QPR would just be like: cuddling/leaning on eachother, time together, nicknames & small gifts of appreciation (inexpensive &/or handmade stuff or food), I find kissing weird as a concept so a no for that personally in general. And like, at this point... thinking out loud idk if I want to do that w/ her specifically or if I just want a qpr? Cause like I'd only feel comfortable even touching ppl I'm fairly if not really close to & she checks that box by being in my short friend list. For reference: I only started regularly hugging & saying I love you to my best friend recently & we've known eachother & been mutually eachothers best friends for a decade. (I used to occasionally question if i had qp feelings for him but I am like VERY sure it's just heavy platonic appreciation. i love him so much hes the brother i never had i fr cannot stress how much i love him hes fr fr the best bro bro not even related to the topic really i just want to say that i love tf out of him hes awsome)

Anyway plz prey/etc that I don't get weirded out by my mom so much that I come out as aroace 💀 (i find even the idea of being in a romantic/sexual relationship repusing & unconfortable to think about. Just not my thing, if that changes fine i just don't anticipate that happening. Also I don't think she's like, a "kick me out" aphobic, just an uneducated 1. I just don't want to deal w/ any of it tbh. I want a clean cut "I am [blank]" statment and for the "conversation" to be over with but I don't expect that ) tldr: wish me luck on this journey of the cringe that is existing ☺

good luck!!!!! existing do be difficult but it will be okay :]

[kravisaweeb]

okay ive just been thinking about bkdk wayy too much recently (when am i not, though, honestly?) and i just Have to dump my thoughts somewhere. these are my own personal opinions and if you don't agree 100% (or at all) that's perfectly fine!

it's kinda Long and Rambly so beware lmao

so ive been reading more bkdk meta (of course) and like, i have so many conflicting feelings cause. y'all, no amount of evidence and logic and reasoning and thematic and narrative parallels and development and arc conclusions and build-up and Everything will make a weekly shonen jump main title gay. that's My opinion as a terribly bitter cynic, and it is in no way meant to rain on other people's parades (if you think they will be canon, you are more optimistic than i and are making the world a sweeter place). I've just been burnt too many times, i don't really expect anything from mainstream media At All—only indie content gets my unfiltered hype and hopes—and whenever things do shake up differently from what i thought, it's a nice surprise! cause the alternative is, This Mountain of Evidence and Development... and then oops get hit with the straightification beam on the last second.

"but it would be so unsatisfying! and completely out of nowhere! and just plain out of character! and ignore so much development! and it wouldn't make any sense at all with what has been established in the story!" Yeah. i know! im as angry and annoyed and disappointed about it as anyone. and yet, so many fucking times, that's how it goes. it would be terrible, and weird, and completely against everything that's been set up, and yet it would happen anyway. this is true even for things that are not shipping-related—ask game of thrones how it ended. cause executives are Executives everywhere, including the "west", which is """"supposedly"""" more liberal (lol, lmao). people with money that make all the decisions force creatives to comply, or fight with tooth and nail and blood and sweat and tears into allowing them to make the story they DO want to make. so it's really hard for me to see it in any other light, when i have seen it happen so many times before.

and yet.

And Yet. i cant help but think, but wonder—what is it all for then, anyway??

i can honestly say, taking off my shipping goggles for a moment, bkdks platonic relationship has ended. it really ended two years ago, culminating when bkg took a bullet for him, and then was cemented when he apologised, you know, to trample down any doubts. there we go, narrative concluded! from rival to best friend. all loose threads tied in terms of their relationship. if that's how it had ended, how it had stagnated, remained in stasis, with this New Dynamic the new canon going into the final battle then show over. yeah. typical shonen bestie stuff. it would have ended and i would have gone "oh they were in LOVE fr" forever, but knowing that people who were like "this is what besties are like! this is what siblings are like!" also had as much of a claim to their interpretation as mine (even if i didn't personally agree w it lmao)

BUT IT DIDN'T STOP THERE and i have to ask why???? WHY is it more central i Don't Get It. i dont understand? i really dont get it cause.... why? bkg is important to deku, yes. other people are also important to deku (all might, his mom, his other friends, civilians, any lost pet he has to kill himself over cause he is a Good Caring Shonen Protag). that has been established for forever. so i don't rly understand the necessity to further highlight that One part of his personality (caring about kacchan) to motivate him into fighting the Big Bad Villain, when 1. he would've fought the villain anyway cause that's what heroes do, and 2. it could have been a generic "you hurt my friends!!" and like lump in more people there, like in the first war arc where several people got hurt (aizawa, gran torino, etc).

but No! you hurt that guy. that guy, that while he was dying, the villain, textually, explicitly says, "i am hurting you because it will make deku angry and sad, since you are his most important person" (that's almost a fucking quote im basically QUOTING here). and it's like, what? lmao wait. what?? why???

what is it building up towards?? i dont get it. it's not going to build up to the apology/their relationship being mended (what we thought would be the climax of the whole thing), cause that already happened. there's no "oh my god if kacchan dies he'll never get to say sorry!" stakes, or "oh my god if deku fails he'll never be able to be friends with kacchan again!" stakes, cause like, that already did happen though. i mean i know obviously in real life, you do things for people just for their sake, not because of what it will mean for your narrative arc. but this is a made up story and thus needs storytelling reasons for shit to happen. so what is the reason for deku needing to be pushed, needing to be backed into a corner, over kacchan dying? why did bakugo have to die (had to get FRIDGED, it's a trope and everything), if not so that his death would fuel dekus rage (which we were told explicitly was the reason why)? why, out of everyone on the battlefield, out of everyone in the CAST, did it have to be bakugo, the one to make deku Lose It?

i mean we know why, but still. what? is it really, textually, canonically That?

i just don't get it. and secretly, deep deep inside, i really hope we get to find out soon

[changbinsnmb1simp]

My thoughts on the ZB1 lineup.

Not proof read.

So while I don't HATE it, it's not the greatest. All the boys in lineup besides two are Korean. They dont even have a Japanese member. Keita and Jay were robbed fr but anyways. Here are my thoughts on the members, and just what I have to say about the group.

lets see if yall can tell who I'm probably gonna ult just by reading this lol.

P01 - Zhanghao: Honestly, ever since the 3rd elimination I was rooting for him to take over shanbin's spot just once. I thought it would be funny, iconic, and legendary if he did it. One thing I didn't expect was for it to happen in the finale. HOLY CRAP i was shocked. The first ever non Korean to win 1st place in an Mnet survival show, and one of the only few who in survival shows in general (from what I have seen anyways). He caught my eyes from he start, mainly because of his adorable ears that stick out. he wears them proudly and i love him for that. truly an icon. He doesn't suit Korean beauty standards, he was the nugu center, he had no prior fanbase, and he worked himself up from the bottom to the top. I am SO excited to hear his voice shine be itself in a solo song, and standout amongst the rest of the voices in ZB1 (I was bouta call them bep1er no joke). Charisma Zhanghao!!

P02 - Shanbin: I mean we all new he was debuting. He is the Korean center, hes been popular since day one, he is extreamly loveable, talented, FINE oh my gawsh (go look at the recent photoshoot he did omfg sir) He did a great job maintaining his 1st place spot until the end, and I salute to him forbeing able to hold it. I can already see it. The 5th gen IT boy! Or prince. Idk there are like 3 different titles he could have. He could also be the 5th gen ace or visual. Which one do Y'all think?

P03 - Matthew: I have been rooting for matthew since day one. As soon as i saw there was a Canadian on the show I jumped (as I am also Canadian lol). It was my lifes mission to make sure he debuted. After Haruto (my original 1 pick), I knew I was switching to Matthew and Jay ( I have been supporting Jay since 2019 it only made sense for me to continue so I voted them on seperate devices). Matthew has always just been there to make my day. Just looking at him makes me smile. I am so happy we managed to get him back up higher i the top 9. He was shocked when he heard his name, and so was I. I cried happy tears with his sister lol. I like spammed her in instagram congratulating her. it was an emotional 10 minutes. DESERVED MATTHEW SEOK

P04 - Ricky: I was not expecting to see him sky rocket that high. When I first heard his name I was like "His one pick was that strong!?". I didn't see many people voting for him online other than a small group on a discord server I am on. Don't get me wrong he was in my top 9 but I really didn't expect his fandom to come through at all. I am so proud of him, and so happy he ranked as high as he did. He truly deserved it.

P05 - Gunwook: While I was expecting him to debut, I didn't hink he would ran so high. I was expecting maybe between 7-9th area especially because he has never been above rank 9 before, but his 1 pick came in clutch. I know he has had a solid fanbase since the beginning of the shw, I just thought other people would make it in front of him? I almost cried when I saw he was called. I was like "Holy shit he actually made it!?!?!". Proud mother moment fr.

P06 - Taerae: to say I was shocked. I mean 3 days before he was 11th place!? I was not expecting his 1 pik to sky rocket THAT MUCH. I mean deserved! ZB1's highnote boi!! I love his vocal tone, and though he wasn't in my top 9 he was very close to it. He was like my 10th/11th pick I can't remember anymore, all I know is i am sad none of his other wakeone boys made it in the group with him and i really hope he adapts fast. He isn't as close with a few of the members from what i know but i am sure he will warm up. CONGRATS TAERAEEEE.

P07 - Gyuvin: Tbh, he didn't catch my eyes. I didn't hate him, I actually thought he was really cute and funny, I just though other people were a bit better than him. That was a while ago though. Over the past 3 weeks, Gyuvin grew on me a lot. While he may not be the most rounded, he is def talented and def deserved a spot in ZB1! I am very proud of him, and I as quite shocked considering he has dropped to 16th before. I didn't have much hope in his 1 pick, but I was pleasently surprised. SLAY GYUVIN!!!!!

P08 - Jiwoong: I knew he was going to debut, I just didn't know at what rank. He has always been one of my picks, ever since i first saw he was going to be on boys planet. I have watched his past dramas, and heard much good stuff about him. I am vry happy a BL actor has made it in the group, just because it can open so many oppertunities for zb1 in the western audience and really just any audience, jiwoong will also soon be staring in a new drama I believe so look out for them! I really cherish Jiwoong. I think he is very talented. The groups hidden all rounder if you would. I can see him or ZHanghao being an amazing leader, but I thik I would perfer Jiwoong be leader.

P09 - Yujin: Just like Gyuvin, he was kinda just there for me throughout the show, but I am sure as he gets more screen time and we get to see the real him, he will grow on me more. I have never at any point ever hated any of the trainees. they are all sweet to me in their own ways, and some more than others. I am very proud of Yujin, and in my op he isn't too young to debut. I could argue that here for hours but I would rather just leave it at this and if you are curious to as why I think that just ask me in the comments. Also, seeing Yujin and Jiwoong harmonize the other day...man... that kid has a voice, hes just a teenager lol, so ofc his voice is gonna crack and change and sound weird at times. I think he deserved this spot a lot tbh, he is a great maknae for the group!

SO overall, I do really like this lineup. I am def going to be ulting this group, I know that for sure. 6/9 of my picks made it (Matthew, SHanbin, Zhanghao, Jiwoong, Gunwook, ricky)

extra; positions I think will be given toeach member.

Zhanghao - Leader, lead vocal, center

Shanbin - FOTG, main vocal, main dancer

Matthew - vocalist, sub rapper,

Ricky - Sub vocal, rapper, main dancer

Gunwook - Main rapper, vocalist

Taerae - main vocal, prince of the group (i made that up but eh)

Gyuvin - lead dancer, lead rapper, visual

Jiwoong - leader 2, rapper, sub vocal

Yujin - Maknae, rapper, main dancer

keep in mind though, since this is 5th gen, they may just discard the whole "position" thing and have them all do a bit of everything considering they all have very unique voices (especially Hao, Taerae, and Jiwoong. Somewhat shanbin) but if we are following your usual 4th gen 9 member group structure, i think these would be the positions.

now... line distribution... well.

Most to least:

Shanbin 30+ seconds

Taerae (he will have a lot of adlibs) 17-20 secs of acual lines +10 for adlibs

Zhanghao 24-27 seconds

Gunwook 20-23 seconds

Matthew/Jiwoong (back and fourth it depends) 15-17 seconds

Gyuvin/Yujin (same with Jiwoong and Matthew) 14-16 seconds

Ricky (I just have that really good feeling hes the Xiaotng of the group) anywhere between 8-17 seconds (hes's mostly last cuz he will vary)

[hellbubu]

Hello!! Ik im super late, I spent the whole saturday travelling back to my hometown (a 7 hour travel turned into 10 so i just wanted to sleep after) and today was fathers day here and i had a family asado, so i got home at 5pm and also wanted to sleep after so many hours of ~socializing~ lmao Also, here I have next to zero privacy and it's very difficult to have 'unproductive' time online ¬¬ My mother demands at least 6 hours of conversation a day and its...exhausting

Anyways, finally watched the ep! And it left me with more doubts than answers tbh

First, I think Blue house really doesn't give a shit about the tournament. Its a given they're gonna lose, so why bother with much training? I think they participate out of obligation, but I bet being in the team is more like a chore than an honor at this point lol (idk how Derrick would fake it, except by saying he's the leader when he just played for fun and left the rest of the responsabilities and strategizing to others?)

Somehow Derrick IS less creepy as a zombie, ngl. His dead eyes at least make sense when he's, you know, dead.

And I must say that I already didnt think much of the P4, but after this??? Bitch, be fr right now. Did they seriously just slaughtered 6 people??? And did it for the 'school traditions' not even the student body who are the actual victims!? Cause I'd totally support them if they had thought of the students, since the fucking 'Lower Master' (which i guess would be the vicedirector/vicerector???) was in on it (which eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww????????' like, are you some kind of pedo sadist? or just so hard up for that whiskey? what is your deal, man???) and they had no recourse for justice. But eh, maybe plan a little?? The tiniest bit???

Also, we don't see what became of the others!!! Did they kill them all? Did they knock them out and left them tied up somewhere and waited for Druitt's people to murder them?? (Imagine you expect your nephew to have killed 1 (one) boy and then he just throws SIX corpses at you lmao) And WHY were they more worried about Derrick than about the Lower Master? WHERE ARE THE TEACHERS IN THIS SCHOOL? You *cannot* pay me enough to believe that 4 teenage boys have more autority than the full roaster of teachers? *They* never wondered where the man was? Why were they following orders from children??? How little did they interact with their superior than a zombie didn't arouse any questions?

(Also, HOW did they took them all out? Wheter they killed them or knocked them out, there were 4 other robust boys and a full grown adult and they had one single weapon! I was kinda expecting Violet to start throwing butter knifes a lá Sebastian when he crouched before the door lololol)

And that post-mortem hit really was overkill. I guess they felt Derrick was completely to blame and wanted to let out some anger. How do you even coordinate a hit like that tho? Awkward xD

I did not expect Ciel to keep up the innocent act lol. Yeah, suuuure you don't understand a little murder as a necessity (or as a treat xD) And admitting murder so readily is the epitome of stupid!! They didnt even ask you directly if you killed him! You could have said he died accidentally and you just...stumbled into UT's cult. Bluff or something, man! Amateurs

Yeahh I totally believe people with more wealth and prospects have more 'episodes' planned out. Poor people tend to just think about the end of the month and then the next one and so on. Rich people don't have many limits to their imaginations (I mean, the men dont.). I believe the LM, being an 'educator' had probably plans for multiple of the boys and their futures and how that'd affect his, bla bla bla and that's why he became so...lifelike.

Oh, so you're in the UT is Ciel's grandad train! Or is it canon now? Idk, I feel lost xD (But ALSO. Why is UT not chasing the people that killed his son/other Phantomhives and instead antagonising the only actual Phantomhive left???????? It makes no senseeeeee)

I don't give a s h i t if bullets didn't do UT harm. The SECOND I heard that 'heh-heh-heh' I'd be shooting. Three bullets at least (Ciel's gun is a modern one, why the f idk, so he prob has 20-25 bullets instead of the 5-6 of revolvers). I'd just want some *blood*. (Kudos to Ciel for keeping his head straight tho, UT would have probably bounced the bullets and injured the others)

Hartcourt is going THROUGH it today. He was probably very relieved when Blue House humiliated themselves in front of the Queen cause people would probably forget what happened to him in the pitch. But now this??? Poor baby. He's gonna have nightmares for YEARS.

I love the idea that O!Ciel still has an inner goodness that neither of his blood family had, even without being hella traumatized as a child.

Sebastian being pre-cog is bullshit. Just say you're insecure, Seb. It's okay. UT kicked your ass before, it's fair to be scared lolol

And poor Joanne passing out. I kept expecting Ciel to shoot the zombie Sebastian was protecting him from in the head, making his head explode, to remark the fact that he can (kinda) protect himself (sometimes). Alas, he didn't. Wasted oportunity!

Sebastian totally wants the Queen dead. He hates his master being someone else's dog xD

I LOVE that Ed went away but only to look for a weapon and come back!! Love that kid lol

The P4 were expelled and left probably in disgrace, but really, how much?? Like, they obviously end up working for Druitt (WHY?) but....adopt a new identity? Leave the country? I love that they sticked together tho. And even this the crown had all of THIS covered up; so really, they could have just done better.

Love the servants and the little glimpse we got of them! Ciel missed them too, it's obvious ha.

Oh, the Queen is 10000% evil (like pretty much any monarch of this time period) and very much had something to do with Ciel's family dying. Why tho, is the question.

Traveling for so long is tiring, adding to that socializing, amor you should probably rest a bit more. Just imagining me traveling 10 hours plus having to socialize that much makes me feel like one of UT's bizarre dolls.

Maybe Derrick just made the others play badly so that he'd look better? But that just makes it funnier when the time for the tournament comes and he's shit. "I'm just here to have a good time." "Well, stop having a good time and start properly playing!"

Honestly, I kinda like how much they value tradition because it makes the school seem a bit evil. Others have already pointed out that this arc is a mundane horror arc. The pace and the goals make it seem like one of those teen movies but not quite right. Ciel needs to get rid of a bully, he needs to get close to the popular kids (the P4) so he can get invited to the party (the midnight tea party) like in the movies. Ciel is almost like that unpopular kid who wants to become popular. But at the same time, the arc reflects how society as a whole works. You need to network, gain trust, etc. to get invited to certain things. There are traditions or processes that could be changed but aren't because "they work just fine rn. if it ain't broke don't fix it."

I don't like that the P4 are idiots that share 1 brain cell, because in what universe do you decide to try and bring your victims back to life???? They'll tattle on you.

The Lower Master is 1000% a pedo sadist. Why else would he be hiding in the shadows watching kids get beat? IMO he's as bad a Druitt because those kids are under his care, the parents put their trust in that institution, in that fucker and he does that? he's a bitch.

There is only one teacher in that school and it's Sebastian. Otherwise, the other houses would have a coach too. But it only seems like the Blue House has a coach, that does spend a lot of time with one particular young boy and carries him when he's hurt and kinda flirted with another and made him confess to being bullied... yeah, that school has too many faculty that's into kids... poor kids.

Violet kinda just blocked the exit while Redmond + Bluewer held one person and Greenhill beat up Derrick. I love Violet, I really do, but there's no way he took down the rest of the boys. Those boys should've been able to run and the P4 should've been forced to hunt them down for sport.

The P4 are lucky to live in an era where they can't be easily voice-recorded. Because if Ciel wasn't the Queen's Guard dog, it'd be a he said, she said kinda thing. The moment Ciel started asking, they should've just said," I have the right to an attorney and won't speak without one present."

Gender and socio-economic status must play a big role. There would obviously be exceptions, there's always people eager to climb the social ladder (marrying kids into a better-off family, a middle-class family pushing for one of the kids to go into a good, respectable, career, etc.) The LW was probably just eager imagining what kinda of kid he'd see beaten up next year and what success story would decide to mention his name as an inspirations or whatever, maybe he even wanted to become the headmaster.

Amor, I don't think he's Ciel's grandpa. I just think he was Claudia's sidepiece. She probably rode that D while away from home when he was busy being the Guard Dog. She probably left after fucking, meaning UT wrote their names and drew hearts around them in a notebook. Maybe they're canon in the manga, but I just find this funnier.

I feel like UT would've either been offended had Ciel fired at him or found it hilarious. Because that kid knows not even 2 reapers and a demon can take him on but he still shot at him? He'd burst out laughing.

Harcourt is the real victim. He shat himself in front of everyone, he discovers one of his crushes is a butler, then his body goes into shock because there are hungry, hungry zombies and he pisses himself, lastly, his two crushes are being gay in front of him and he passes out. And by, like, the next day, his boss is expelled, his crushes leave, and he isn't allowed to talk to anyone about what happened. My boy needs therapy.

I think Yana has spoken at times about how Vincent is kinda very evil and just the fact that he's evil (even if he's so soft and attentive to his sons) was kinda passed down to them. I think R!Ciel might've inherited more of the Phantomhive evilness because he was the oldest and Vincent might've spent a bit more time since he'd inherited everything. I also think that Ciel has always been the one with more inner goodness, I think. I've seen screenshots here where O!Ciel says he wants to start his toy company because he's almost always inside (cause he's sickly) and wants kids like him to be able to enjoy themselves because most toys are outside toys. Meanwhile, R!Ciel tells him that it's dumb and stuff. There's also a difference when it comes to how they speak about the Earl's duties to the people who live in the Phantomhive land and how they talk to servants from the little I've seen.

Ed is such a sweet boy. I like the dynamic between him and Ciel.

I am 10000000000% Druitt approached them and gave them the job because he "loves" his nephew. The only way Druitt becomes tolerable to me is if I HC him hating his family and going out of his way to fuck them over. That's why he's doing this to poor Redmond. Because I doubt even he (Druitt) is stupid enough to think that any of this is a good idea.

and very much had something to do with Ciel's family dying. Why tho, is the question.

I can answer this question. She had Claudia killed because she UT's D but he was too in love with Claudia. She obviously had to wait until there was a Phantomhive heir old enough to be a Guard Dog before killing her, hence she waited until Vincent was around 15 years old. Then she got impatient because UT had still not gotten over his ex and killed Vincent. She probably wouldn't give a shit if the twins dies because if UT didn't want her, then she'd at least have killed all he loved and would just give the title to the Midfords or some other family. (joking)

My best bet is that they were turning against her or knew something that they shouldn't and she didn't trust them to keep their mouths shut.

[radioroxx]

what is ur opinion on the ketsukanes as of answering this ask

uhhhmmmm theyre all great and i give them kisses

TO BE FR THO. im not entirely sure whatttt ur expecting lolll

ceroba i love very much. i think ive gone into it before for another ask, or just a completely different post, that shes a good example for me of why you cant always define a character, or person, as “good” or “bad”. sometimes they are just people! or,,, monsters, in this case. beyond that shes very fun i love her dynamic with star and i ESPECIALLY love the dynamic she builds w clover in the steamworksss gah!

chujin i dont think of him very often,, for someone haunting the narrative he really doesnt have that much presence lol. he’s chill i suppose. a little insane maybe. type of guy to hum or sing while hes working but lord knows he cannot sing to save his life.

kanakooooooo is interestingg. i think her drive for righteousness, her desire to help, parallels pretty well with clovers which is suuuuper compelling narratively (tho,, i dont see many people playing with these ideas too often ehe). she would be the only one whos able to tolerate chujins singing btw, but only if she knows the song and is able to sing along. otherwise she would join in when other ppl tease him

[fruitybashir]

Omg what a rude anon!! I was the anon who originally said I was excited about the longer chapters, and I absolutely did not mean that in a pressuring way, or expect it to be the case from now on! I just saw you mention how much longer this chapter was and wanted to acknowledge that and express my excitement about it. But I totally understand that it's not necessarily going to be the new norm and that's completely ok! And I absolutely did not think you were complaining when you said it wouldn't be, in fact I thought it was good you let us know not to expect that every week.

Everyone writes at different paces, everyone has their own writing process and their own shit going on in their 'real' lives outside of writing. And besides, no one is entitled to your content full stop, whether that's 20k words a week or 20. You're writing us an amazing story that so many people love and look forward to, and the fact that people are still pushing for more from you is so ungrateful. What kind of person decides to come into your inbox being rude and nasty when you've literally done nothing except provide us amazing writing for free? People are crazy. Thank you so much for writing this fic <3

omg hiii again!!! ♡♡♡♡ first of all dont worry, i did NOT take your initial comment as negative in any way whatsoever 🙏💖💖

second, anons like that one dont really affect me at all tbh lol. like if anyones got issues with the length of chapters im putting out, thats on them, not me. 💅🏼✨️ does anon also go out and scream at the bees for not making honey fast enough? pick a different struggle fr

and thank you soooooo so much for being here and saying nice things about my fic and my writing, it makes me super super happy <3 i hope you have a wonderful day and a wonderful week and a wonderful month 😚✨️💖💖💖💖

[mazojo]

Winter 2022 Anime Opinions

As always my thoughts because no one asked

From least to fav here are my overall thoughts:

Urusei Yatsura (2022)

I am just not the target audience for this. This is probably a nostalgia ridden show that people who watched the original will love and enjoy but I am not that person and with the two eps I watched I had enough. The jokes were not funny to me all characters were annoying and yeah the animation is nice but I will not put myself through something I will not enjoy for it tbh. Watch it if you liked the original ig

Tonikaku Kawaii: SeifukU

I dislike tonikaku with a passion it gives go girl give us nothing to the negative 20 no flavor no taste still the same shiz as the show so yeah. Watch it if you liked the series lmao its more of the same

Shinobi no Ittoki

I guess…… Its really kinda bland and I can’t pinpoint why. The concept is interesting but it just doesn’t hold up in its execution and I dont care for it run sorry do better I guess

Fumetsu no Anata e 2nd Season

I try so hard to care, SO hard. Since season 1 I have found this show to be kinda…. All over. Like the only storyline I cared about was the one with the kid with the mask last season and since that its just been meh to me. Like, we already kinda know how everything is going to go and all the arcs are kinda the same, they show us someone, we care for them for like half an episode, they die, repeat.

Bocchi the Rock! 

I TRIES SO HARD TO CARE TOO I AM SO SORRY. This has been like the number 1 show this year but I… I dont know I just dont like it ASDFGHJ I am not a big fan of cute girls doing nothing specially mixed with the uwu social anxiety quirky. Like they dont paint it in a bad light like most shows do and the art style is very unique but I just dont… Give a shit adfgdhjf I tried I promise but hey if you are into this shows probs the one for you.

Mushikaburi-hime

This one is boring I am ngl. Its not bad but like… Its not good either. Ive seen this trope done SO many times its just boring. It hasn’t done anything bad per se but I just dont really care for it much. I like my romance with spicier ships so yeah I mean if you like cute royal same old same old couples then watch it.

Fuufu Ijou, Koibito Miman.

Do you like boobs????? Do you like boobs ON your screen for 23 minutes??????? Then you will for sure enjoy this one fellas! ASDFGHJ I… I am not the biggest fan of ecchi so this is a lot for me but hey if you like this fan service trash then you go bestie. Character design is cute I dont care for any characters as of the moment so yeah I guess its something

Chainsaw Man

This is the one that gets me cancelled ASDFGH. I am not going to say much other than I've never been a fan of chainsaw man since the manga and you can write me all the essays y'all want but I just.... Dont care sorry lol ADFSJAK Its just not for me; I am not saying its bad per se, I am just not the person that enjoys this type of shows. Akiangel as the only thing that matters of chainsaw man fr fr

Aru Asa Dummy Head Mic ni Natteita Ore-kun no Jinsei

This is trash but it goes higher just because Its what it is and delivers just what I expected. The reincarnated person is annoying as fuck but the girls have cute dynamics so that's why it goes higher. Its just 3 minutes skits of the girls being cute so yeah its okay

Koukyuu no Karasu

I feel like this is a good show but I am just not the target for this adsfgh its a show you gotta pay attention to understand and a lot of history goes behind it and it just kinda bored me but I know its not bad. I just dont think its for me but that's okay I might keep watching it.

Eternal Boys 

Its okay. Its a nice concept and I have only watched like 3 eps but its a nice message I guess. Its short and whatever so it doesn't take much time to watch but its not something revolutionary. I like idol shows so maybe I am giving it more than what it is.

Mob Psycho

This is the one that gets me cancelled part 2 SKSKSK. I am not going to lie besties, I am not the biggest mob psyhco fan. Its okay, I just never got into the hyper around it sorry :(( I really wish I could because I know its a good story and I ddi like that last episode a lot but like,,,,, I feel like the story was over last season ASDFGH But hey I am glad y'all enjoyed it a lot!

Boku no Hero Academia 6th Season

I am ngl, I am like on ep 2 of bnha season 6 but have seen the Dabi scene like 20 times thanks to social media and I got no choice but to Stan. I dont like this arc of bnha as y'all know but it seems more interesting than last season and I like the way the animation direction is going so I will give them points for it.

Do It Yourself!! 

Lesbians your honor!!!! I like this one! Its cute girls doing silly lil stuff and I am not a big fan of the genre like I said but this one is more entertaining for me, maybe because I am more into DIY shit but its cute!! Nothing big happens tbh but its a soft watch to put in the background if y'all enjoy this

Romantic Killer

This was cute! A refreshing romcom from the ones weve gotten recently tbh. I liked it even though I have a different interpretation of the road they took it in the end but it was a fun show to watch with some nice gags and cute characters, defo give it a go!

Renai Flops

Okay hear me out. This one is in a weird place but hear me out. I hate everything this anime stands for because it was such a cliche weird and ecchi but it was such an interesting train wreck I HAD to keep on watching every episode and when I least expected it I was suddenly on ep 6 and the twist left me screAmiNG. It kinda goes downhill again after ep 7 but just because it took me so off guard (dont wanna spoil it but aloO) it goes high up, gg 1 for the ecchi trash 0 for Maria this round.

Yowamushi Pedal: Limit Break

Ngl this season of yowapeda hasn't been as hyped as I hoped for me but I care so much about the characters I will place it high up SKSKSKSK its basically more of the same; I honestly miss the upperclassman a lot but its okay my babies appear like for .2 frames and I start sobbing

Akuyaku Reijou nano de Last Boss wo Kattemimashita 

okaY is this trash??? yes. Do I care??? nO. I LOVE MY SILLY LIL TROPES OKAY ITS FUNNY AND SILLY AND DUMB AND THEY ARE CUTE SO IT GOES UP OKAY I LIKE HAMEFURA WHAT DO YALL EXPECT FROM ME. still kinda trash but like, guilty pleasure trash.

4-nin wa Sorezore Uso wo Tsuku

THIS IS HOW YOU DO CUTE GIRLS (AND TSUKASA LY BESTIE) DOING CUTE STUFF IN A GOOD WAY. If you like Saiki K you'll like this show. I dont know how to explain it but it gives the energy from Saiki K and I loved it they are very important and relevant.

Spy x Family Part 2 

Its more of the same of part 1 y'all know spy x family its a good show I love them all I love when my families are found go stream it look at Bond and Anya being best family

Tiger & Bunny

The gays are back for more and better! Not my favorite season buT I still care about them all so much that I dont care SKSKSK go stream tiger & bunny I dont have much more to say

Cool Doji Danshi 

Do you love dumb people??? Me too! then this anime is for you ! Its silly short and goes to the point. It doesnt try to be something its not and I like my anime silly and dumb. If you are looking for something easy and silly watch this.

Blue Lock

Guys guys my favorite comfort soccer players are finally animated!!! Watch it. If y'all follow me y'all know I am annoying about blue lock. Its the only anime that has Bachira AND Reo imagine the odds!!! Its a great sports anime and the characters are great and I love it and its my comfort okay

Mairimashita! Iruma-kun 3rd Season

Lets all pretend for a second we are all surprised M!ik is number one woah Maria that is so weird your favorite manga animated as number one????? did not expect it that's wild. Anyways M!ik supremacy today tomorrow its the Lied arc and Iruma and that one episode were Iruma cries made me emo and I love it and I think you should all be super cool and interesting and go watch m!ik it would make us all a better society.

[darkestpsi]

when i say that i like both dabi and shouto i dont mean it in the "oh my god they're so hot i wanna fuck them" kinda way or the "lol they both hate their parents just like me fr" way but that i really do understand how its like to grow up around such tough, hard love. to have your entire worth, the level of care and responsiveness you receive in moments you definitely should not be seeking this constant validation but your fucking veggies and milk - all of that being based off just how useful you can be to your parents; being told that the point of your life quite literally is for the fulfilment of thEIR dreams, in THEIR way, under THEIR supervision, yknow?

like, i can literally not even begin to count the many recordings on loop i have of my mums voice in my head telling me to always be better and to do so much more, be so much more - achieve things, great things and live to just please and please and please - for herself, for her dead mother (who probably doesnt even care about half of the shit that i have done since she passed, because dead people cant feel - they cant feel, but somehow their presence still suffocates), for the status and the level of respect itll give both her and my dad (so that they wont ever be referred to as immigrants again) and the amount of money ill eventually get paid thatll somewhat, somehow all go back to them, anyway.

point is, dropping so suddenly from being so loved and praised and shown off when you were younger and tried your hardest to be that bit better to the broken toy you are now, unable to carry out their tasks - demands, even - easily replaced by someone younger, someone so much better than you; worth so much more than you. when they are born.

idk.

i joke alot about how similar my family dynamic is to the todorokis, the distance between me and my siblings now after all it was that we went through together and how im literally doing medicine for my parents so that they can get their doctor, and i can get my peace, but its very truly something ive had no control over my whole entire life. all ive wanted is some damn control. lmao. my mum literally named me after a doctor she saw on tv who was giving a lecture about medicine and i laugh at the fucking irony of it all because god, you dont even realise that this is fucking killing me, ma- but the thing with touya, the parts of him that diverge from my own experiences is the fact that he was able to break free from all of those restraints secured by his family, the goals they set him, the ones he set himself. the guilt and disappointment and oh my god, how could you -why - why would you regret not being able to meet those expectations and him being thrown aside like everything he ever received was so palpable and fleeting because he was a toy, was always a toy to my mum endeavor. he knew he couldnt compete with shouto. shouto the gifted child. the hero. the hate and anger he feels towatds him, idk, it hits so fucking close to home. but i also see so much of myself in the way shouto is so fucking willing to be the good child, the perfect child, who pleases and pleases and pleases; doing everything he is supposed to without retalliation because thats what hes supposed to do and thats what they want him to do and eventually, someday, somewhere he will get his peace as a hero, because he was "born to be the best", born to be a doctor hero - literally both sides of my personality at war oh my god AAAAA

i literally can not help but attach myself to those characters.

[lmelodie]

got distracted by cartoons, have a late ask game ask!!!!!

i wanna know! #s 5, 7, 8, 12, 25, 26, and 30!

Is that too much? MAYBE! But I feel like at this point in my internet life and our interactions and such, this is just to be expected ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(I will not be chill w/ q's next time fr fr)

(i am lying)

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

Oh I post SO MUCH of my stuff. The doodle dumps are to blame mostly. Thats gotta be an 80/20 ratio on stuff that sees the light of day. This website is my dumping ground and i will use it like a fucking landfill.

Here's an ANCIENT doodle of the actual canonical characters of this franchise for the trouble.

(Small Buddy with elf shoes is a whole staple fyi)

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

As per last ask, Comic artists! I do not have any will whatsoever to be stylistically consistent at all! I appreciate the people who can so many characters that many times AND convey a story. Cheers to that bro, could not be me.

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

I don't know about any other projects I've abandoned but here's a character I've abandoned! Kinda, not really. Its Death! Death WILL make an appearance in CC, in the finale, but they've gotten a redesign as of late so here's what they used to look like

Thye used to be VERY self-inserty, but now their gonna be a lot more god like and much more ambiguous. Just you wait til Lucy meets them in person >:)

12. Easiest part of body to draw

Hands! People say their hard, but I think I've done enough studies to where I can crank out a decent hand like nothing. Love drawing hands.

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

I don't remember ever receiving a direct comparison to something pertaining to my art 🤔 Now I'm curious as to what it reminds people of!

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

Most of my pieces are pretty straight forward. We do it for the sillies here. I'm really blanking on this one! I dont do too much hidden meaning in illustrations, if I want something to look cool im gonna try and make it cool. Not a lot to interpolate lol

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

Probably a tie between these two!

It's probably because i starred at both of them it until my eyes bled but I like em! The lighting on Mera and Kills and the rock bridge on the wild west one scratches my brain itches.