#found this one from earlier this year
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sunset curve, but make it scott pilgrim
#jatp#jatp fanart#julie and the phantoms#luke jatp#alex jatp#reggie jatp#bobby jatp#luke patterson#reggie peters#alex mercer#bobby shaw#fanart#going through my drafts#found this one from earlier this year#i fear what i shall find going further back#2024 art
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Imagine if Lakan had connected the dots much earlier. Do you think he'd leave his studies ( or whatever he was doing)
And imagine coming back after 3 years and found out all of that happen to the person you'll loved like the way she had to basically sell herself after getting
#Imagine if Lakan had#connected the dots much earlier#. Do you think he'd leave his studies ( or whatever he was doing)#And imagine coming back after 3 years and found out all of that happen to the person you'll loved like the way she had to basically sell he#kusuriyanohitorigoto#kusuriya no hitorigoto#the apothecary diaries#maomao and jinshi#jinshi#theapothecarydiaries#love#anime#Lakan#pregnant gets me so idk angry#like she could've been absolutely fine rn but didn't she get some illness from one of the customers
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Now that I finally got to play TWST diasomnia chapter 1 myself, I'm gonna need everyone who said Malleus was a baby throwing a tantrum for no reason to pay me 2000 dollars each
#twst#twisted wonderland#yes it did take me until the second to last day of the new chapter event to finish book 6 what of it#in my defense i had no good leona&jamil cards for chapters 66 and 67‚ i'm glad i managed to do it at all. robe malleus carried the team <3#anyways! i haven't seen this take in a while but i remember it popping up a lot earlier this year when we got diasomnia on the jp server#as a member of the malleus defense squad i can't bear all this slander and now i have proof it's baseless#his overblot is one of the most justified ones??? what do you mean no reason#He's already established to be constantly left out and lonely because of it#And now he gets hit with the triple whammy of 1) realizing his fellow students' mortality after book 6#2) learning that his father figure is dying and in one week fucking off to fantasy china to live out his retirement without him#3) his best friend the MC telling him they found a way to un-isekai themself#Maybe he could have weathered one of those‚ but all three at the same time?#Poor guy stood no chance‚ those are hits straight into the trauma#Of course he's gonna have a breakdown! It's not his fault breakdowns in twisted wonderland come with a side of destructive berserking#And to be fair from what i've heard in spoilers all he did was put the whole school to sleep he didn't even destroy all that much#like yes putting everyone to sleep so they can live forever and never leave him is not a healthy reaction#but this is Unhealthy Reactions The School it's not like he's such an outlier in that#leave my boy alone 😭#excuse my ranting i'm just insane about twisted wonderland and malleus specifically
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Book 15, chapter 19 of Leo Tolstoy’s War and Peace, English translation by Aylmer and Louise Maude.
Free online ebook via Project Gutenberg
#this was one of my favorite chapters from war & peace when I first read the book at age 13…#and like I’m literally 20 now and this just popped into my head earlier having not read it in years#and I FOUND ITTTT#ughhhh so good I highlighted the parts that are most important 2 me#war & peace#leo tolstoy#russian literature#literary classics#reading list#diary
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Hello! I just saw you post some Maitre Gims, and I know you like Stromae, so I was wondering what are french/french speaking singers that you like the most? You may have answered smtg like that already but i couldn't find it and I am, as always, very curious ^^ -☆
mc solaar!!!!!! and stromae for sure. and i had a whole renan luce phase in college. otherwise i mostly just listen to individual songs and don't tend to know a ton by the same artist, but i've liked some individual songs by christine and the queens, lous and the yakuza, tryo, kana, bénabar, vianney. some other artists but that's a sample. currently only know two french-language songs by mika but i like them. always looking for recs if you have any!
#i do not have an established discovery pipeline for french music it's just been like#1) friend gives me a mix cd in high school that includes mc solaar and some other artists (thank u jesse <3)#2) professor gives me a mix cd in college that includes renan luce and some other artists#3) i listen to these on repeat for approx. 20 years and get a couple of mc solaar's and renan luce's albums#4) a kind follower on here sent me a spotify playlist last year#that's it that's the pipeline lol#oh i forgot 3.5) discover papaoutai by stromae in idk 2015 or something. but i have no recollection of how i found that song#my experience is neither broad nor deep in this arena#french#music#asks#not anon#i've finally moved on from listening to the same three stromae songs because i've mostly learned the words#so now i'm trying to learn the words to some other songs including the maître gims song i rbed earlier#my problem is that i don't really know what a song is about until i look up the lyrics#sometimes i can get the gist but usually not. so i get a song stuck in my head and then look up the words so i can sing along#and that's when i learn what it's about. and too bad if the subject is not one i want to have stuck in my head lol#got an mc solaar / vianney collab stuck in my head yesterday. super catchy. i look up the words. it's about suicide????#which i am maybe not in the right headspace to be singing about right now. but here we are. whoops!
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every day when i wake up i say to myself “dykeyuu you are not purchasing any sanrio merchandise today” but then i find the deal of the century……..
#like. i only buy it if i know for sure ill NEVER find it at that price again#2007 corduroy keroppi that literally doesn’t exist on the internet? $16#i came across it by chance and it took me hours to find evidence that anyone else had ever owned one#found a chococat one too from the same series but it’s pricier…#but it’s the only one listed anywhere that i can find so. perhaps#sike i found one in the philippines there’s TWO corduroy chococats on the internet#i mean there’s literally one reddit thread i could find from years ago confirming that this series existed#and it’s only got like two commenters who only vaguely remembered the series#and a handful of worthpoint entries confirming that a couple of each of them had sold on ebay at some point#all the other sanrio corduroy plushies i could find were from other series#there’s a hello kitty and my melody from the same year but it wasn’t the same series#both series were rereleases in 2007 and the original release year for hk/mm was earlier than cc/k#20in 2012 fiesta keroppi? $40 when he usually goes for $100+#(this includes shipping…)#was devastated to find an etsy listing for the 2010 limited keroppi build a bear for $85 that had already sold…#the next cheapest one of those is like $140#and dont get me fucking started on chococat#no build a bear should EVER go for $500#like be serious. maybe it was limited edition 14 years ago but it’s still a damn stuffed animal#manifesting they rerelease the original sanrio build a bears to beat the price gougers into submission#the intersection of two special interests: sanrio and buying things from people who don’t know what they have#throwback to the 1993 keroppi squeaky toy that i thrifted for 25 cents#just looked it up to see and i found the exact same one but only on worthpoint#he used to be a keychain… mine is just the little guy with no chain#comparable one from the same year same size/material etc just different design goes for $20+#context i refuse to make a worthpoint account and pay them just to see what things sold for on ebay they can kiss my ass#me when i need to infodump but gf is at work and has already heard like half of this
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Can we pretend that this book of dickens stories from before 1910 is an edition of the tales
It’s like. Exactly the same
#May also be partially a model for the one I drew in my most recent drawing#mphfpc#library of souls#tales of the peculiar#miss peregrines home for peculiar children#old books#my mum found this at a rubbish tip#it has writing inside from a 10 year old that owned it in the 50s and an earlier date of 1907 scribbled out by said 10 year old
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I think as writers we should hold funerals for our WIPs more often.
Dearly beloved, gather us here today where this fic of some middle-aged man getting rawdogged and this other fanfic about the importance of friendship are laid to rest, because the author got really distracted playing that new video game.
We celebrate what could have been, cut-and-recycle those really good lines or ideas, because I swear I'm going to use them, I swear! And drag this poor document not to the great recycling bin or trash, but to the "graveyard" folder because sometimes I like to commune with the dead.
#fanfic#Writing#I just had to throw out 5k words of a one shot over something I can't change/control but I never delete old WIPs#I do just put them in a folder and still backup that folder with my other files#Yes some of my earlier ideas were horrendous but also there's a part of me still there in each of them#Sometimes it's less about the writing and more about who I was I want to sometimes revisit#Who was the teen girl writing gore at 15 and what would she think of today's writing#Who was the insecure fearful loveless boy who over expressed his masculinity online and wrote tough lonely guy characters#I don't want to be them anymore but when I hate myself sometimes it's nice to read what I've written#You hear the problems you never thought youd overcome in the author notes or in the subject and those fears and pain#You also see the first time you wrote a subject#I wish I hadn't deleted lots of my writing from when I was very young#Some I did because it legitimately could cause or encourage harm if left online#But I think I always smile when I see the old “this year is 8th grade” because by golly#Still think it's hilarious I got really into writing in middle school because I was jealous of someone else's writing ability in 6th grade#I can remember the exact moment I looked at my 2 page story and was filled with jealousy because they wrote 12 pages and my story felt so..#I remember going home and going 'i know I can write something good!' and people will like it!#And then like while looking for some place to upload writing I found fanfic
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.
#hhhhhh reread the flashback chapter i wrote w d/dirk and just hooh boy i love it so much ugh#im tempted to post it on its own but i want to save that bomb of a scene for the middle of the larger fic its in#just ughhhhhhh i love everything about how i wrote d#im going nuts bc i have been working on it since like december? ish? but the past couple months have been hell for me personally#fuck like i remember going thru an entire calendar of movie release dates for that historical year and found the perfect spot#to where it accounts for historical events and events in canon and has its own special date and how the release of the movie...#...effects how d managed to make it a success and just#fuck man i researched the hell out of that and only had to put one anachronism to grease a moment in it#like#this fic is so big for me and i am so scared that i wont finish it bc i have so many things planned out for it and so many ...#...annotations i keep adding to modify things i wrote earlier in it (which is why im not publishing any of it yet)#i want to share it w the world so fucking badly but i keep getting amazing ideas to weave in from an earlier point i already wrote#cries lol#ughhh this is why im so tempted to post the flashback as a standalone chapter/separate posting#but#i wrote it to match a scene from both the previous and next chapter so i dont wanna ruin that either#fucking writers block man ahhhh wish my life wasnt shit rn bc i need to finish it#tag edit: i used the wrong spelling of affects earlier lol#but yeah ughhhh so frustrated w life rn i have such bigger problems going on rn but#rereading my fave chapter kinda just made my day at least lmao#personal#vent#kinda i guess#delete later / /#maybe idk lol#ShitPost.exe#like this wip is over 33k words and its probably not even halfway done in terms of event points i want to happen in it lmao fml#all bc i wanted to make one punchline happen which happened a long time ago before i wanted to write all that backstory into the fic
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Trying to keep a lid on it but. Yeah. Literally don’t know what’s it like to NOT be platonically neglected IRL my whole damn life, only that I know this One Person doesn’t deserve to be at the epicenter of it anymore than I deserved to have been at the epicenter of theirs a year ago now.
…why am I like this. Why are we like this.
#tiger’s roar#…but like. good god. someone being Actually Genuinely KIND and insisting they DO like my company and want my friendship#(and is arguably mutually attracted and THOSE feelings of mine and what I’m picking up from them just won’t DISPELL already)#just. really stirs the muck. gets at that emotional constipation in my brain’s grease trap#then having TWICE now having Activities Suggested and THIS Time in FRONT of people then like…never following through?#all but thinking aloud with planning to witnesses things that sound less like hanging out and more like a date#and then just…not doing it?#when the Reality is Apparently Too Busy?#us fighting earlier this year over quality time essentially#when all I want is to have like. maybe an hour or two once a week or once a month#to enjoy someone else’s company. get a fucking REPRIEVE from my life#that’s…that’s it? nothing grand. just have the time found where it can be without causing strain?#I’m actually NOT a romantic even when I have romantic feelings? they just make me yearn for basic contact all the more#I’ll always be ‘too platonic’ within a romantic relationship so no it’s never going to be an ‘expectation’#MAYBE the one with unrealistic expectations is the guy who watches romance films and struggles with AllorNothing thinking perhaps?#and…yeah. trying to not feel resentful of their time spent this summer with existing friends when apparently not working 20+ hrs a week#in addition to their own research and god knows what else#…because it feels like there’s no space for me. and probably never will be. and I have never been ‘cool’ a day in my life#sure I own it as an adult. especially a 30s adult.#but having people recognize me as kind and supportive and easy to talk to 1:1 (my group aqauaintance/casual friendships SUCK)#but. basically never getting to keep any of them as friends? quickly ditched? treated like a used bandaid?#it…gets to me alright? like I only exist as Catch/Treat/Release but for people#which sure. the friend I’m angry at HAS been frustrated about me deserving better. looks at me like I’m christmas.#and I’m now fairly close friends with their beloved sibling. and despite things having THE Worst Start Ever their family seems to trust me#…but…it’s just…think I deserve better? think I’m worthy of your esteem and respect? think I’m kind and approachable?#want me to feel safe and relaxed enough to be myself? then just…do better.#ask when I’m available to kill a few hours then…follow through on that. that’s it.#not all the time. and my ‘expectation’ is to always be either neglected or used and feeling jaded about it#just…a repreive. for both of us. that’s it.
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Song of the Day: August 21
“Tightrope” by LP
#song of the day#this is one of the two songs from that coyote post earlier#the other 'When I Go' by Dave Carter and Tracy Grammer. also an absolutely killer song and I almost picked it for the day's song instead#I was singing them both off and on all day#actually there's a good chance it'll be tomorrow's song. we'll see how it goes but it is /such/ a good song#anyway I picked this one for today because I found LP through a shitpost#a silly hipster shitpost making a joke about LPs and 'you wouldn't know them'#and then it turned out actually she not only had a killer voice but also she wrote for Rihanna and the Backstreet Boys and shit#she's still putting out music I don't know how I always end up talking about every musician in past-tense like they're all dead#she put out an album this year I just haven't listened to it yet
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something that is, i think, a very little-known fact about me is that i have a little collection of (mostly novelty) playing cards, and one of my decks is a set from the 60s that i found in an antique store back in high school called the crooked deck.
i bring this up to say, remy absolutely owns a few of these decks and he pulls them out when he's drunk. they're absolutely dogshit to aim, they fly everywhere, they flex like shit. but no matter what, no matter how drunk he is, he can always account for the flaws and almost always lands on his target. even if they're not charged cards.
the only time he misses is when people duck them out of habit, making him pout. no, scott, gambit only missed his target cause you were de target an' you moved.
#remy 'the gambit' lebeau // headcanons#that is a real genuine card deck i own i know it looks fake its not#and they do actually flex like shit. cant get a good grip on them to pass them between my hands#genuinely i dont think anyone i know online knows that i kind of collect playing cards but really the fact that i do is. i should have#found this white man earlier.#i also think that he has a few novelty decks of his own that people have gifted him over the years. he always uses them but saves at least#one card from each deck for his own personal collection. maybe has them all arranged in a frame nicely or a shadow box that he drops them#into. something that's a prominent piece of decor somewhere in his home.#that anyone whos ever given him a deck could see if they wanted#i think the card he pulls out is the joker. this man would fucking love balatro
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a wise bloke once said, or maybe he didn't, etc.
The best thing about having the same Google Drive since 2014 is being able to read all your old stories.
The worst thing about having the same Google Drive since 2014 is being able to read all your old stories.
#writeblr#still struggling with writers block#writers problems#on the upside I found a bunch of old OLD stuff backed up from presumably my primary school account#and there were a bunch of pdfs uploaded there from even EARLIER#like WHAT THE FUCK#THIS IS VINTAGE JEB CONTENT#I REMEMBER WRITING SOME OF THEM AND IT MAKES ME HURT#THE EARLIEST ONE WAS DATED 17 SEPTEMBER 2009??? I WASN'T EVEN SIX YEARS OLD????#funnily enough I remember being given a 'school computer' that year so I could write easier with my disability#except my teacher thought I was timewasting and stopped me using it#I still remember the way she looked at me#like an unwiped coffee mug ring#so fuck you#I am the future and not a single moment of time I spent writing has EVER been wasted#too many tags
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what kind of exam puts the big essay question in the middle??? what kind of hell world am I living in
#quil’s unholy underworld#found this in my drafts from earlier today#took a very shitty exam this was only one problem with it#it was 13 questions. 1 essay question#and it was question 5 out of 13???#and we weren't allowed to go back once we'd answered a question#i already complained to my mom about it but maybe i'll do so here again#the questions weren't. weren't even about the content of what we've been reading the past 5 weeks??#it was about a bunch of fucking tiny details#like 'which of these four authors was part of the english depart at this school?'#which like. yes we did mention that. but ONCE. and yes knowing author's backgrounds and accomplishments#especially from marginalized communities is also good#but thats??? not at all what we've been mainly focusing on???#we've been focusing on and analyzing their WRITING#for 95% of class every single class#WHY are we not drawing from that on the exam#I don't fucking know that one singular detail mentioned once in the documentary we watched once and can't access on our own!!#i didn't know I needed to memorize the smallest shit!!#the teacher is nice and the class is enjoyable but my professional (i've been a student for years) opinion is that that's not a good#exam structure
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i have journaled every day now for six straight days. im not even convinced i have ever journaled two days in a row before this in my life.
#my five year diary not counted in this because it's like. one sentence per day#and sometimes not even that. sometimes it's just a lyric from out of touch on thursdays if i have nothing to say#also that thing i said earlier about life noble not having other b6 notebooks wasn't true i just forgot to look outside of jetpens LOL#anyway in my b6 rabbit hole i found out leuchtturm has a weatherproof b6 notebook which does intrigue me.
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not to be sad on main but I miss my mom
#especially our phone calls#she always had some wry take on something that found a way to make me laugh#grief tag#may as well toss that in there#but yeah i just really wish i could talk with her right now#I'd feel a lot less crazy if i could just call her and joke about how weird my life is right now and beg for some advice#even if realistically I'd take about 23% of it and ignore the rest to her ire#I'd kill to hear her tell me that it'll be fine. just one more time wouldn’t be enough but I would still take that in a heartbeat#i just had my 25th birthday recently and it felt so empty to experience a milestone without her#i know it's not that big but it got me thinking about bigger milestones#and it all snowballed from there#my dad and i have also been having trouble since earlier this year for reasons relating to her passing which has thrown a wrench into things#i wish i could call my mom to ask her how she would really feel about it. or just bitch about the situation for a while.#as it is it feels like my only two options are to grin and bear it at a detriment to myself or to speak my mind and hurt the relationship#and while she may not have a simple answer ready for me she would still listen to me and emphasize with my point of view#while also pointing out when I've gone way off base and have misunderstood the situation#idk um. if you got this far thanks for reading my ramblings ig?#mumblings
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