#at the same time: i am having a hard time understanding everything so me 10 years ago might have not taken away anything anyways

[watchingblsnowandforever]

We Are Ep.14: Part 1/3

Hello!!! =D

Welcome back to my crack posts!

Part 2, Part 3 (I'll come back and add the links)

Ep 14 ruined me, just so y'all know. I'm honestly scared for what the next episode will do to me. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

Warning: long, long post 😊😅 (also divided into three parts this time because I wanted to screenshot the whole damn thing, but this is next best)

I did not expect Q to be the one to stand up for Phum, but I wasn't really surprised after the last ep. Previously, he'd be the first one to go up in arms, but he's starting to understand maybe everything isn't that straightforward, and despite his friends meddling in his own relationship, he wants to leave Peem alone.

Conclusion: he's a very good friend.

Of course. I should've known something like this would come up 😭

Of course they've taken baths together.

I love this friendship so much.

You again. 😶 I swear to the gods, this guy will give me high blood pressure or something. Please please just leave Peem, alone. Learn to take a 'no' and mantain social distancing.

Peem... you're too kind for your own good. (I get it though)

You have no right to say that, especially without knowing the full story. But I'm feeling kind, so you're still a (mostly) decent human to me. Try not to ruin that impression. And never, ever again say anything to my babie Phum. Ever.

Oh my gods my heart broke for Tan 🥺 Here he was, probably never having dated after he fell for Fang, so knowing that Fang had dated even after whatever they went through must be so painful to him.

FANG KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT'S WRONG AND HOW TO FIX IT.

Just like we see Tan waving away Fang's insecurities every time, Fang does the very same for Tan.

I love them. <33

🥺🫶🏼

They're both so whipped-

Fai: I didn't see anything 👀😗 (we all know she's fangirling so hard inside)

Fai is me, I am Fai.

No but, Phum, are you sure Peem staring at you for a long time won't make your heart race?

Whipped. They're both so goddamn whipped. *sighs fondly*

The horns I'm dying 😭😂

Phum wasn't even surprised 😭👍🏼

Okay, not the best impromptu band performance/concert I've seen, but this is Thai BL, and they need some music and at least like 10 scenes with some band to pass whatever standard of approval, so I'll let it slide. Also, I'm terribly fond of these idiots. <3

HANDS.

They're besties for a reason hehe

You're asking the question, but are you ready for the answer?

I have already gone crazy over this too many times, I really don't have the energy anymore.

Peem is definitely winning Best Non-Confession Confession of the Year Award.

Are we still talking about the painting, or...?

Honestly though, when he was saying this I got actual flashbacks of Phum kicking the ball into his painting and how their relationship developed from there till where they are right now.

HE-

He named it "Happy" because it's all the things that make him happy. 😶

I had to pause here to take a deep breath so I didn't break out in tears two eps in a row.

WHAT IS THIS SERIES DOING TO ME.

Also, taken together, they are a story in 3 pics.

I'm just gonna go sob in the corner.

When faced with that smile and that "na, Peem, na" how could he ever deny Phum anything 😭

Textbook definition of a blushing boy who just became boyfriends with his crush the boy he loves. <3

No, he thinks he's a babygirl and rightfully so.

THIS HUG. That's it. That's all I have to say. I have no words for how this made me feel, and will make me feel for the rest of the forseeable future.

I end Part 1 here. Part 2 and 3 will be out tomorrow (because they are quite a bit long and I have Thoughts about them that I need to write in detail)!

If you've gotten this far, thank you so much for reading!! 😊

Here, have a taco 🌮

[rose-lalondde]

pro tip: if you think you have adhd then don't start a master's program before you even get a diagnosis (also you need a stronger prescription, you have astigmatism, and reading glasses aren't gonna cut it)

[ctl-yuejie]

slowly moving through my philosophy of law book and fully besides the point but sometimes i am just in awe that i can read about what some guy (probably) had thoughts on because plato had beef with him in 500 bce

[raeathnos]

.

[a-b-riddle]

A Simple (Mis) Understanding Chapter Two: Numbness & Pain

Daisy

I always used to think it was an exaggeration of how pregnancy is a constant state of exhaustion. But it was a lot of work growing a tiny human. Add in the fact that I'm still working 40 + hours a week and, of course, something is always causing some sort of discomfort or pain.

Swollen feet, back pain, nausea; I can't even find any solace in sleep. The 32 week mark felt so close, yet still so far. Another eight or so weeks of this seems like a drop in the bucket compared to how far along I am, but still. That still another two months. So far away when you want to be done, but still too short compared to everything I still have yet to do.

Another two months to set up a crib and wash her new clothes. Another two months to figure out a name and make decisions that I always envisioned making with a partner. Another two months of struggling to do things like picking up shit off the floor or staying on my feet long enough to make a decent meal.

But right now, I wasn't worried about the two months ahead of me and all the things I still have to do. Right now, I was looking forward to a three day undisturbed weekend. The pain in my feet and sciatica was becoming so bad, I had taken Friday off to see a doctor and spend the rest of the weekend doing nothing, but sitting in my modest little house and watching mind rotting television. I might even indulge in some spicy reading. Heaven knows its been too long.

Or at least, it hasn't been since them. That day in the office, but... that really didn't count. I often wrestled with myself about it. That one time erased any feelings I had for any of them. But I felt a bit pathetic how it now tainted every good memory I had with them. Kyle bringing me something to snack on when he realized I hadn't gone to the mess hall. Price always having a cup of earl grey tea cooling for me first thing in the morning. Two packs of zero calorie sweetner and a bit of honey.

Sweet like you.

I couldn't stand the smell of it now. I blamed it on the hormones. A lot of things made me queasy, but something about the smell of the bergamot, made me sick in a completely different way. A feeling not of nausea, but of... fear. Like the same way a pentagram could summon demons, earl grey could summon mine. As if John Price was somehow there any time the scent lingered in the air.

But he wasn't. None of them were. Fuck. Why did my thoughts always go back to them at some point? No. This was going to be a relaxing weekend god dammit. Fuck them.

Almost angrily, I hit the garage key fob, shutting the door and engulfing me into darkness; a thin line of light leaking through the bottom of the garage door. When I had opened my door, I could at least see a path to my mudroom. I grabbed my purse, ready to go in, when I felt it.

Hundreds of needles. Stabbing and digging into my feet. Not just the soles, but the entire fucking foot the moment I bared any weight on them. I pulled off my flats and it was then I noticed how angry they looked. Red and swollen and all but screaming at me to sit my fat ass back down. I wiggled my toes, trying to get some blood flow. Fuck. Why didn't they hurt while I was driving?

I manage to get onto my feet, using the car door as support. Steading myself until I was ready to take the first step. By the time I had managed to all but crawl inside, ten minutes had passed since my initial arrival time. I got off at 5:00, but usually didn't log off until almost 6:00. Granted, I work from home, but I had run out of a few essentials. Essentials now that were in the boot of my car.

Fuck.

10 minutes won't hurt. Not like there is any thing frozen. Speaking of which, I forgot my ice cream... dammit. I really need to start keeping a list on the fridge. It's hard to remember when pregnancy brain (or stomach) takes over and I slam a container in a single sitting.

Grabbing a pillow from the couch, I went to the kitchen. Which considering the town house, or terraced housing I suppose now, was perfect for a single and expecting Omega it was cozy. Not like the base where going from the common area to the chow hall was about a three minute stroll.

I get down and lay on my back. Carefully maneuvering so my ass rests against the cabinets before I hook the back of my heels unto the counter top so I could rest my feet a bit. Not the most sanitary, but it wasn't like I had guests. It was just me. For now.

It took a few moments to adjust. My back ached against the hardwood, but I could already feel the relief from my feet and legs. It wasn't all that shocking that I was having a hard time with them. I had gained a considerable amount of weight during my pregnancy. When I had brought it up to the OBGYN about possibly cutting back on food, her suggestion was to simply not weigh myself at home. Now when I went in for a visit they made me turn around before taking my weight.

It was hard. I've always had a problem with how I looked and now adding pregnancy then taking away the option to diet and exercise didn't exactly help.

I pulled out my phone and was preparing to open my kindle app when I saw a tiny red bar in the top right corner of my phone. Of course. I get nice and settled and my phone is on 2 fucking percent. Whatever. I tell Alexa to set an a timer for fifteen minutes and take a little nap. Maybe meditate.

A knock on the door quickly brings any possibility of relaxation to a pause. Margaret next door was dropping off Winnie off early to go to her book club. Margaret was a widow and a recent empty nester. She had spent her life as a mother and a homemaker. When I got custody of Winnie two months ago, she had quickly stepped up in helping me with everything from child rearing to managing my pregnancy.

"Hello, Maggie!" I greeted from the floor. "Hello, Winnie Darling." Winnie had the same sand colored hair as me and bright green eyes. Her face was a shade of red and I could smell her from the entryway. Someone would need a bath today. Fantastic.

"Oh, Dear!" Maggie fussed, setting Winnie down on her feet before coming over to me. "Are you alright?" Winnie didn't bother stopping to hug me like she normally would before making a beeline toward the potty. She usually was a creature of habit, but nature calls I suppose.

"Feet are a bit swollen." I waved off. "Just resting them a bit."

"I don't have to go tonight." She set her bag down. A deep green corduroy shoulder bag that always had just what you needed in it. A wet wipe, hand sanitizer, a spare tissue and even a stain pen when a spill happened at the most inconvenient time. "I'll stay and-"

"Maggie." I said, trying my best to sound at firm, but it was hard with her. No one told Maggie 'no'. "It's alright. Just a bit of water retention. Nothing to fret over." And it wasn't. I could already feel the pain from earlier subside.

"Really, it's no bother." She argued, bending over to unstrap one of her shoes. "It's a bloody stupid book anyway. I just go for the gossip really."

"Maggie." I tried again. "Really."  "It's getting close to the due date and I don't want to burn out on me just yet." It was a lie. Even with her greying hair, a deepened laugh line, Maggie didn't burn out. She was one of the few Omegas I had met in my life and she could run circles around any of them, myself included.

The sound of flushing sounded from the bathroom followed by the faucet. She huffed before slipping her shoe back on. "If you insist."

"I do." I encouraged. As much as I loved having Maggie's help, I hated feeling like a burden. She had raised her children. It was time for her to do things for herself. "Besides, we'll see you tomorrow after my appointment tomorrow." The bathroom door clicked open, revealing my little Win with the front of her smock covered in water. Fantastic.

"Hi, Mommy." Winnie finally greeted. Her freshly washed hands dripping water droplets onto the hardwood. "What are you doing?"

"My feet hurt so I'm just letting them rest." I explained, looking up at her. Winnie was rambunctious as most four-year-olds without a sense of self preservation are, but when I explained to her how careful she had to be now that I had her sister in my belly, her nature had become more gentle.

It worried me as much as it warmed my heart. 

"Why don't you sit on the couch?" She asked. Her head tilting to the side, face etched as if she were trying to figure out my reasoning.

"Because it helps when you lift your feet up high in the sky, Winnie Pooh." Maggie explained before looking back at me. "Well if you're sure-"

"I am. Go." I urged. "We'll see you tomorrow. Lunch around noon?" Spending time with Maggie didn't make me feel like such a parasite when I knew she enjoyed the company. Her children had all moved away, only one staying in the UK. She wasn't so alone, but neither was I.

"Wouldn't miss it." She gave a soft smile. The laugh lines around her face deepening. "See you tomorrow, Dearies." She said, retreating back outside. The soft sound of the door clicking behind her.

Winnie had laid down beside me. Yep. Definitely going to need a bath tonight. "How was school today?" Winnie went to a pre-school that was luckily covered under my insurance. Perks of being an Omega. I'll take it where and when I can.

She talked about going to the playground and painting. All the usual bits. Who she played with and new things she learned. Then came the question. A question she had asked before in passing. A subject I changed with ease before. 'Have you brushed your teeth? How about another episode of Bluey? Put on your trainers (because we can't just say tennis shoes anymore) and we'll go for a walk to the park. I had skirted around the question with ease. 

"Why don't you have a mate if you have a baby?" Winnie was too young to get the answers to a lot of life's difficult questions. Why did Tiffany not like us? Why didn't she get to see her daddy anymore? Why did that man look at you weird on the train, mommy?  I wish she would just stay this little. That she never needed or want to know the harsh truths about me, us.

"I..." I wracked my brain for an answer and just came up short. I couldn't think of a way to sugarcoat it. We almost had a mate. Mates. We almost had a pack that would have walked you to school on the mornings my feet were too sore or I was already running late. They would have loved you. "It... it's complicated, Darling." Is what I chose instead. The other worrisome fact is that Winnie was too young to understand the concept about mates. I had never broached the subject which only means she probably heard it from some little shithead at school. 

Wonderful.

"I'll explain it when you're older." I promise, closing my eyes and letting her snuggle into the crook of my arm. "Do you wanna rest your eyes with me?"

"Like when I'm five?" She asks putting one of her hands underneath my shirt onto my belly. It had become a thing she had started since I told her about the baby.

"Maybe six." I said, looking down at her. She gave a yawn before closing her eyes.

"I think five is better."

"Okay, Win." I said. "When you're five we'll talk about it." It was a promise I hoped she would forget. But I didn't want to negotiate with a four-year-old about something future me could deal with. I wanted just 15 minutes of this. I order Alexa to set a timer to make sure we haven't dozed too far off. Winnie still needed to shower and eat. I still needed to get the groceries out of the car. But I could spare another 15 minutes.

[drawlody]

My list of Adam ships♡ n my opinion bout them (also fics rec :D)

Adam x Luicfer (Adamsapple/Duitarduck) 10/10

Need i say more:)))??!?! started out as a "haha funny slip-up ship" to "hey they got really good angst potential". The friends/lovers to enemies to lovers is STRONG with this one n i am eating up everything i could found on ao3. Smth bout this macho-ass man finally getting to stay back n not take charge for once feel nice, also princess Adam supermacy wooooo. Whoever came up with the ship name i applaud u cause that's like a 3 layers name(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

It's not an Adamsapple fic without Adam having at least 1 mental breakdown n Lucifer have his guilt eating him alive:)))

Very fucked up torture but i swear it worth the pain:D The dove is so dead it start to rot so plz read the tags properly (plz check out the AngeliaDark other works too they got good shit)

This one have a splits so check out both the fics (beware the author have a skrewed sense of what is considered wholesome:))))

I didnt think a smut scene could be this sad

Adam x Lute (Guitarspear/Guardrock) 10/10

Litteraly my first Hazbin ship, assholes in love is an underrated dynamic we desperately need more off:))) That with a dash of evil dude x loyal subordinate (which i havent seen since the Deathglare days) n opposite attract (look they have one main thing in common is that their extreme bloodthirst, other than that she's stricter than ur mom n he's lazier than the Sloth ring itself but that the beauty of it no? He convince her to chill tf out n not to burst a blood vessel, she keep him on track n make sure Sera dont come on their asses)

They're just being silly enabling each other terrible behaviour n i love that for them (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) Litteral besties i tell ya

Heavy non-con shit involving Val but Lute will revenge our boi i promised u that

Cool idea n they r just made for each other damn

First hazbin fic i read which is a really cool smut:D

Adam x Micheal (we need a ship name people ) (update: it's Songbird/Guitarhero) 10/10

I like how we dont even got a proper comfirmation of Micheal design/personality yet the ship is here already ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ( im using the Nakariiale's design as a base here love their design)

Hit me with that rebound love x "u look like my ex so im using u as a replacement but ill fall for the real u eventually" x co-workers in heaven. I'm thinking smth along the line of "after Lucifer fucked off with Lilith, Micheal became Adam guardian angel n they just hang out" ya feel me here? (✿◕‿◕✿)

Shout out to Bloog_b for dragging me into this ship:DDD also im on the Adam x the archangels ship as a "gotcha" to Lucifer of sort. Like bitch u stole my wives imma steal your brotherS

Look it's Adamsapple endgame but trust me u will be feed well on this ( u know how good u gotta be for people to ditch the main ship?)

I'm giving yall 4 fics here cause i can only found 4 rn(._. )

this one is uhh non-con so beware

Micheal is indeed Adam guardian angel in this one:D

Adam x Eve (Flowertunes) 8/10

I dont care what yall said they love each other throughout Eden n Earth , might have a falling out in heaven but that doesnt change the fact that they were once IN LOVE. Honestly why cant we just have a couple that have the same bright-eyed innocence like one another.I refuse to believe Eve like willingly cheat on Adam with malicious intent n all, simply she was indeed ''tricked'' or just not fully understand the sistuation, n Adam love her way too much to think that she would do that to him like Lilith. Hell the dude was heartbroken after L left , starting the abandonment issues, so he would have cling to Eve, doing everything so that he aint alone again, even if that mean leaving Eden

Honestly it pisses me off that the Adam/Eve tag on ao3 most of the time is just 1 dialouge between them back when Eve bit the apple n thats it no elaboration on the couple whatsoever >:(((

Lots of switcharoos

sinner eve woooo

look its hard trynna find a fic focusing on them ok?

Adam x St. Peter (Guitargreeter (bet ya didnt see that coming:))) 7/10

Base on this fanfic alone Joe my dude u r on the path of becoming THE Adam crack-ship writer n i am here for this:)))) just so u wait this dude gonna whip out a AdamxNifty , AdamxHusk fic later on ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

From within the fic itself the ship its 2 bros in love with homophobia standing in the way >:( also when did we have a name?!?!?!?

I just like Adam x anyone in heaven alright:D like bro famous n he got that ancient rizz, u telling mr he cant bag a hottie or 2-100+ hmm?

Adam x Alastor (Angelicradio) 8/10

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ABOUT THEM THAT I SHIP I JUST DO φ(゜▽゜*)♪ i blame YOU honestly rn this ship is either Adam found Al after the fight n they make a deal or they're in heaven n they chillin this ship is confusing:D

They're angels on heaven

Adam gone back into eden n do shit differently

This is both Adam/Eve n Adam/Alastor kinda

Adam x Alastor x Lucifer (Angelicradioapple/ Charlie's dads (only me call them that lol)) 9/10

''Hey Charlie u know how u r sad that your mother left? Wellllllll i got you 2 new dads suprise:DDDD''

Look 3 miserable men who hate each other + hell's greatest dad + my love for Dadam = Messy ass old men yaoi :DDDD n it work perfectly with Alastor Asexuality too!!! Like Adam n Lucifer could fuck each other brains out before Al joining in for the cuddles lol

Chaos ensue

Not exactly a love triangle but a love corner but hey we barely got food here :D

I cant believe how hot this shit is lol

Adam x Eve x Lilith x Lucifer (Eden poly/ applecore?) 8/10

They could have been all married to each other(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ But as much as i go "OooOooo Poly yay'' i just cant vibe with EvexLucifer, like the cheating vibes is wayyyyyyyyy too much i just cant man . I mean with the interpetation that Lucifer came to Eden to hang out with the humans they all know eachother, they're a throuple yes but BUT when Eve came into the picture it was only with Adam n him only so the other 2 is ehhhh. Im fine with EvexLilith cause im seeing it happening later, not hidden from Adam while LuciferxEve got that deception going on .So uhhh in this ship they're more like bestie than lovers to me¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also AdamxLilith is an underrated pairing like everytime i saw this applecore thing going on these 2 r at most tolerate each other like cmonnnnn we already twist this to hell n back, why cant we make it so their arguement was a petty non-malicious one n they still cares for each other hmm???

They're one happy family

IDK what to tell u bittersweet reunion n loving family is the only typa fic u get with this ship

Not that im complaining i need this wholesomeness

Adam x Mammon (Adammon/Madam/Greedyguitar/ 1st chirstmas.... hasnt had an offical name yet) 10/10

They r litteraly same person different font idk what to tell u. More insults thrown around than Guitarspear but they're pretty similar. Adam is just " sinners suck ass but this dude is the worst in the best way". Also they're both big bois (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ , they love towering over others

I'm sorry but there r barely BARELY

any fics of them :(

The art side is more plentiful tho :D

Adam x Angel Dust (Holydust/guitardust) 5/10

THEY ARE BESTIES YOUR HONOUR n that the exact reason why i cant see them be together as a couple 100%, like the shit-talking bff vibes r wayyyy too strong XD Angel finally got someone who have the same vulgar humour as him n if Adam got married in hell Angel would 100% be his best bitch of honour (≧∀≦)ゞq(≧▽≦q)

They're best friends who have casual no-string attached sex that is ACTUALLY no-string attached:)))

I came to ship them due to those "What if they're co-workers under Val' scenarios ive been seeing on Tumblr

I got like 1 fic on ao3 i mean if u r looking for just platonic friendship between them then rest asure most Adam's redemption fics have that

I got 1 fic on tumblr

Adam x Charlie (Charadam/Guitarprincess) 5/10

U know this ship give me a pretty bad first impression since a good chunk of the fics r either heavy non-con shit or lean wayyyyy to much into the daddy kink, ya know how Charlie got suppose daddy issues n all that jazz?:))) yeah that... that

But after seeing the art side of this ship im chillin with them now, since the art r pretty wholesome, usually having them decked out in punk-rock clothings hanging out. It's a big "Fuck you" to Lucifer n i live for these mf argueing ╰(*°▽°*)╯

So uhhh stay away from the fics if ya want an actual functional couple instead of wtv messed up shit we got there:))) But here's a fic anyway, the only one where it feel bearable n actual trynna go into said messed up relationship i already warn you

We got cracks like Guitarmaid (AdamxNifty), Valadam (AdamxVal) which i dont have enough materials to decied, Classicalrock (AdamxSera) sound interesting but also havent found anything , Guitarhalo (AdamxEmily) is an unexpected find, find i deem them to be more familial than romantic so we'll see if there's a fic good enough to convince me

Edit:i forgot to add Blitzo like Mammon already there why did i forgot

Adam x Blitzo (i dont think anyone even ship this but me:)) 7/10

I cant find a single fic where they has anything more than a 1 nightstand n 1 interaction where they hit it off , i live off imagination alone (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) but like fr fr they would match so well, like their bloodlust n general jerkiness would make them the 3rd asshole x asshole ship on this list :DDDD

Tho as much as i wanna see them go further i feel like an on-n-off relationship/friends with benefits fit em more ya know ( *^-^)ρ(*╯^╰) If ya have any fic but the 2 here that have them interact lemme know cause a bitch need food :)

This is a lot of tag(._. )

[tamayula-hl]

Plagiarism allegations currently levelled against me and evidence of my innocence

I'm sorry for posting so many times on this hard topic. But yesterday @freewld (https://www.tumblr.com/freewld) asked me, "You reversed, traced and plagiarised my drawing, didn't you?" I received a DM saying. After discussion, I was given permission to publish a verified image of me and her drawing by overlapping them. Below is her art, all of which I have permission to publish.

The picture on the left is my illustration that is allegedly being used in this case. And the picture on the right is the one she claims was plagiarised by me.

She says: " When my drawing is inverted, angled and overlapped, there are a number of places where the lines overlap. I believe you must have traced my drawing because there are too many places where the lines match for it to be a coincidence".

See the verified image she created by overlapping our drawings on her Twitter feed. (another)

To be fair, I also made a verification image and video.

When two pictures are overlapped with respect to the line of Seb's right eyelash.

When two pictures are superimposed on the basis of the lines on both cheeks of Seb.

I draw every time using the screenshots I have taken of Sebastian as a reference, and probably she does too. I would argue that if I draw a picture with reference to a 3D model of the same 'Sebastian Sallow' character, it is only natural that the two pictures should be similar. If one tries to express his individuality - the distance between his eyes and eyebrows, the length of his nose and philtrum - in a drawing, it is natural that some of the lines will overlap.

In the first place, to claim 'plagiarism by tracing', most of the lines need to match, but there are not many places where the lines of the two pictures overlap completely. It is my contention that this cannot be evidence of 'plagiarism by tracing'.

I believe I have proven my innocence to the world with these two superimposed verified images and videos.

However, @freewld is using Twitter's survey feature to solicit third-party impartial opinions on the allegations.

This is the current voting result.

Incredibly, the majority of votes went to 'I think Tamayula plagiarised'.

I think this voting system might not be fair because as you know, X(Twitter) allows a single user have multiple accounts and actually I currently have eight accounts on X(Twitter). Therefore, I wonder if it can work properly as the third-party impartial opinions because some users might vote this multiple times by using their own multiple accounts.

And I've only been back on Twitter for about a week and have only about 200 followers. In contrast, @freewld has been running her account for 10 months since March 2023 and has more than three times as many followers as me. It is a voting system that overwhelmingly favours her.

With such a voting system, there is no way she can prove that I have plagiarised. It remains to be seen what the outcome of this poll will be, but even if the result is more votes for 'I think Tamayula plagiarised', I will continue to maintain my innocence and I will not apologise to her.

Finally. I have tried to be as honest as possible over the past few days and have continued to assert my legitimacy in Japanese HL fandom, but it is no longer possible for me to deal with this matter any more. I feel ridiculous about everything now. I hope everyone can understand my disappointment a little.

Thank you so much for reading this long sentence so far. I am taking a short break for just a few moments.

[rileyglas]

The List ~Pt. 10 - Convergence~

Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) x Reader

Summary: The fight with Vox triggers memories of your life on Earth, but a familiar voice calls to you. When you wake, you find an unexpected hand has helped you but of course their aid comes with a catch. More secrets are brought to light and you must choose whose side you're truly on.

Themes: Huge warning for depictions of war/ bombings/ injuries/ death. With everything going on in the world I understand if it is hard to read so feel free to skip the ~8 ish paragraphs. The usual angst, mystery, sassiness, cursing, fluff, actual plot, mentions of blood/bodily harm, slow burn, Lucifer can't take a hint, Alastor is full of surprises, eventual smut, and of course 18+

3k Words

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5  Part 6 Part 7 Part 7.A Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 (You're on it!) Part 11 Part 12

**sentences in italics are internal thoughts of the reader

Like a movie, you watch different places around the world flash before your eyes. Each scene, you’re surrounded by the same small group of people. A feeling of pride filled your body when you looked at them. Are these people my family? They feel like it. You knew you’d do anything to protect them. 

~~I’m here love…

A final flash puts you at an eerily familiar scene. You sit at the end of a small table, watching everyone laughing, eating, singing - just enjoying the down time together. The sound of an air siren puts an immediate silence over the tent. All eyes snap to you, waiting for your guidance. You stand from your chair, “Alright just like training guys, take your assigned positions around the camp and keep a clear - “, ringing pierces your ears as everything goes black. 

~~You’re stronger than this…

In what feels like a second, you are lying face down on the warm ground. How long was I down for? Pushing yourself to your knees, you watch blood from your face make little droplets in the dirt below you. Dust and smoke fill the air, burning your lungs when you try to take a breath. Fuck…Where is everyone? You look at what remains of the camp around you. Piles of brick, wood, and rock litter the area. The night around you is hauntingly silent, interrupted only by the occasional pop of electricity from what remained of the generators. As the dust begins to settle, you’re able to make out multiple sets of boots under rubble nearby. No…no...no…no please...

You attempt to run towards them but stumble back to the ground. A mix of dirt and blood coat the front of your uniform. Other than the pain in your side, you have no way of knowing the true extent of your injuries as a numbness washes over you. 

~~Fight…please my dear…

Sounds of tumbling brick and coughing distract you from your self-evaluation. You crawl towards the sound and find a man trying to sit up, pushing away the rubble that buried his lower body. “Thank God, you have no idea how relieved I am to - “, an involuntary gasp leaves your mouth when you see the piece of metal sticking right through him. 

He half-heartedly laughs, “I was going to make some smartass comment like - How bad is it doc? Think I’ll be home for dinner? - but uh…I think that answered my question.” Fucker always had to make jokes, even the face of death. 

“No it’s not..It’s not that bad. I just need to find my bag, I can stop the bleeding….just…k-keep talking to me.” Your hands fumble across his chest. You try to apply pressure while your eyes frantically scan the area for your medical bag, but Lord only knows where it ended up after the explosion. 

~~Please…we need you…

Warmth continues to spread under you, his blood now staining your hands and arms. He grabs your hands, stopping your efforts and gently setting them on his face, “Don’t do this - ya know how it’s going to end.” A single tear slips past your lashes and down your cheek. His breathing begins to labor, “Hey now boss lady, no cryin’. We all knew what we signed up for. This ain’t your fault.”

~~I need you…

A deafening sound fills the air followed by a blinding flash of white light.

Your eyes bolt open as you sit up gasping for air. Alastor nearly jumps out of his chair, hastily sitting himself behind you in bed to wrap his body around yours, “I’m here, dear. Breathe. You’re safe.” You try to relax in his arms while your mind reels. Was that a dream? A memory? Is that…how I died?

You look down remembering the fight with Vox. Other than a few blood stained cotton bandages, you appear to be mostly healed. “How -?” you begin to ask. Alastor tightens his grip on you, making you wince from the pressure on your still healing wounds. “Please…just…give me a moment.” he begs quietly into your neck. You feel his chest rise and fall against you with ragged breaths. If it was anyone other than Alastor, you would think he was crying. 

Gentle sounds from the wooded bayou fill the room. After a few moments, he breaks the peaceful silence, “Don’t ever scare me like that again.” he breathes through a raspy voice. You lean your head back to look up at the demon. He looked just as rough as he did that night in the tower. 

You bring your hand to his cheek and pull him into a tender embrace against your lips. He sighs into your mouth as his body relaxes. He needed to feel you, to know you weren’t gone. The corners of your mouth curl into a smile, “I don’t know how but I heard your voice…through the darkness you were calling to me. Even as I dreamt of my life on Earth.” Alastor huffs amusingly, “My dear, I never left your side. Charlie said talking to you might help. I thought it was silly really but I was willing to try anything. Good to know my efforts weren’t in vain.” 

Alastor delicately brushes his fingers through your hair, “I didn’t think it was possible to feel something worse than the initial fall into Hell, but you seem to enjoy keeping me on my toes. As much as I hate to say it, you might not have made it if Lucifer hadn’t -”

“Lucifer!?” you yell in surprise at how casually Alastor mentions him, “Why would he bother saving me?” A few taps on the door interrupt before you can get an answer. Without waiting for a response, Lucifer walks into the room, “Ah good you’re awake.” he chirps casually. 

You swing yourself to the edge of the bed in an attempt to stand but Alastor keeps a firm hold on your hips, slotting you between his legs to keep you sitting. He scolds quietly in your ear “Easy love, let’s not move too quickly. You’re still healing.”

Lucifer makes his way across the room, puffing his chest out arrogantly as he leans against his cane, “There were only a few wounds I couldn’t get completely healed but you seem to be a strong one! Of course someone had their doubts.” he glares at Alastor, lip nearing a snarl. 

He did help when he didn’t need to, ulterior motives or not I should be grateful. You muster a smile and cool tone, “Well you did wonderful, sir. I am feeling pretty good to be honest. Thank you. I suppose I owe you.” What the fuck did I just say?

Alastor exhales against your neck and digs his fingertips into your sides, making you curse at him under your breath. It didn’t help how smug Lucifer suddenly looked. He nonchalantly fiddles with his suit, “Well we do have some private matters to discuss. If you’re feeling up to it of course.” No but do I have a choice?

“Sure! What’s going on?” 

“I uh - would prefer there to not be an audience, if you don’t mind.” Lucifer shuffles his cane to his other hand. Your chest hitches at the request. I rather not be alone with this man right now. Alastor notices your apprehension, “Anything you have to discuss can be said in my company. You have quite a nasty habit of putting your hands - amongst other things - where they don’t belong.” his tone cut with such sharpness even the well collected King looked visibly uncomfortable. You feel him disappear from behind you only to reappear in a chair by the fire behind Lucifer, “You may continue sir.”

Lucifer scoffs but doesn’t speak right away. You fumble nervously with your hands as his eyes burn into you. Chills creep across your skin from the tension filling the room.

“Soooooo - what did you need to speak about, sir?” you ask wearily, wanting to get this conversation over with. “I told you to call me Lucifer,” he takes a seat next to you on the bed, “And I think you know damn well what we need to talk about.” his once sickeningly sweet voice now harsh with ire. 

Cool, nothing like pissing off the King of Hell. You try to hide the anxiety building in your chest, “Lucifer, I appreciate your offer from the other day however I am staying here. With the sinners and with Alastor. I am capable of  -”

“Yes, yes - you looked quite capable as you were dying in my arms just a few nights ago!” he bites, “Do you think you’re of any use to the people you claim to want to help if you’re dead? Do you think he will actually support you in your efforts?” his eyes dart to the demon across the room.

“Oh and you will!? You want to keep me like a pet in your little castle! Remind me, how did wanting such things from Lilith turn out for you?” 

An unsettling smile crosses his face, making a pit form in your stomach, “You tread on thin ice my dear. If you wish to take low blows, fine. You’re naive to think he actually loves you. You said yourself, he just wants to use you -”

“I was wrong. I was only naive to think you did not want to use me.” you interrupt plainly. R̷͈̈u̸̦͌l̸͍̍e̴͔̅ ̷͉͛#̸̗͒1̶͍͂ ̵̮̐B̵̬̊e̷͖͐ ̵̡́o̵̡̿p̵͎͂e̴̢̋n̷̡̆ ̵͚̋t̵͕͠o̵͔̽ ̵̺̉t̶̰͗ȓ̴̠ů̷̹s̶̩̄t̴̙̅,̸̈́͜ ̶͉̓b̶̘͗ǔ̵̮t̶̯̂ ̸̝̿n̴̳̍ȅ̷͔ṿ̵̀e̴̗̾r̸̨̔ ̵̻͒ḑ̶̾ǫ̴̉ ̴͎̉ś̴̤ō̴̩ ̴̣̒b̶͉͠ḻ̸͗i̶̳̽ṋ̷̀d̶͉͒ĺ̵̘y̸̙̕

He cocks his head and raises an eyebrow, “I - I don’t know what you mean. I - I saved you. I protected you when - when he couldn’t. Of course I would have never allowed you to get hurt in the first place.” Alastor clears his throat and shifts in his chair, using every ounce of restraint to not lose his tongue. His eyes pinpoint to Lucifer through a sharp grin. 

I’m not the only one on thin ice here. “I appreciate you helping me, truly. But I think we both know deep down…you’re scared. You’re weaker than you let on. Locking yourself away, ignoring your duties. Without Lilith you’ve become just a shell of the ruler you once were. And, not to sound arrogant, but I get the feeling you think I can somehow change that.”

Lucifer’s look softens and he takes your hand, eyes glued to his thumb tracing across your palm, “I’ll admit there’s some truth to your words. She was my strength. She knew how to lead better than I ever could. The city has gone to shit without her. But…” his other hand cups your cheek as he meets your gaze, “...you can change all of that. Standing by me, you can do so much good for our people. Isn’t that what you want?” his words seem to plead with you. You hear a crack from Alastor’s grip tightening on the arms of his chair. 

You shoot a glance at him, silently asking him to calm down. With a gentle touch, you take Lucifer’s wrist to remove his hand from your face, “I want to save souls, Lucifer. Charlie’s dream is incredible and I plan on helping her see it through. I do not wish to assist in the rule of Hell.” You say soft but stern, trying to make him understand. He stands abruptly to look down at you, “Does this demon share these same sentiments?” 

Fuck he does NOT let up. “I don’t understand. Why are you so against him!?” you raise your voice making the Radio Demon’s ears twitch. 

Lucifer kneels in front of you, tightly gripping your shoulders, “Listen to me…” Alastor stands to say something but you raise a hand to stop him. You wince as slender fingers dig deeper into your skin and the King’s voice darkens to a whisper, “He will never stop trying to gain more power. You want to save souls yet you stand by someone who would sacrifice anyone and anything to get what he wants. You help bring him to power…and he will destroy everything. You, me, Charlie…He - won’t - stop.” 

Your heart pounds against your chest, fighting against the thoughts racing through your mind, “How are you so sure about his intentions?” you squeak out. He gently brushes some hair away from your face, “My sweet girl, there are darker secrets to him than you know. Secrets, I fear, that will destroy you.”

“That is enough.” Alastor’s voice warns with a heavy static. 

Lucifer angrily stands back up, bringing you to your feet with him, “Why can’t you just trust me? Have I not proven myself enough? He will take away everything.” Your hands press against his chest in an attempt to keep him from getting any closer, “Please, stop! He -”

The lights of the room begin to flicker. Alastor grabs Lucifer away from you by his jacket collar and pins him against the wall, “I said that was enough.” he spits. The two men snarl nose to nose before Lucifer lets out a jarring laugh, “Oh-ho - so she really doesn’t know? How far are you going to try and bury the truth?” he peeks over Alastor’s shoulder to you, “See my dear this is what I mean. If he truly loved you, he would have been honest about his - situation.” 

Alastor pulls back and slams Lucifer’s smaller body against the wall again, seething through gritted teeth, “You have no right to -”

“W-what is he talking about?” You brace yourself against the bedpost and take a step towards them. Lucifer shoves Alastor off, sending the pissed off demon half way across the room. His body hits the wooden floor hard enough for the planks to creak beneath him. He half-heartedly struggles to pull himself up onto one knee, panting like a dog about to attack. 

Lucifer saunters over to you. You hear a low growl from Alastor as he watches the small King move his hands over your waist and his lips to your ear, “His soul is bound to another. He only needs you because your power combined can break him free. And what do you think he’ll do the moment he is unchained?” he breathes through a wicked smile. Your entire body tenses, both from shock and how intimately his hands run against you. 

He gives a coy chuckle, raising his voice to ensure Alastor hears him, “Come see me tomorrow. Alone. We can speak further on how you can repay me for helping you.” with a flick of his wrist his cane flies into his hand. You flinch as he presses a kiss to your cheek before disappearing behind his red ribbons.

Alastor remains frozen, kneeling in the middle of the room. His eyes stare into you while flickering between red and black dials. You can’t tell if he’s about to explode or break down. Although a hundred questions are running through your mind, you know better than to poke an already agitated bear or in this case, deer. 

In a moment where you should be angry or confused, where you should yell and scream, you instead do something that takes both yourself and Alastor by surprise. Ignoring the pain and soreness in your body, you drop to your knees in front of him and throw your arms around his neck in a tight hug. He moves his hands up but hesitates before touching you. “Wha-what are you doing?” he asks with a mixture of confusion and intrigue. 

Within an instant, a plan forms in your head. This is going to get messy. But it’s the only way to protect me…and protect us. R̶͚̀u̷͍̿l̷̦͛ȅ̸̥ ̸͔̀#̷͇̿4̶̫͝ ̴̧̌Ț̶̈ù̷̫r̸͓̃ǹ̷̩ ̸̘̚y̴͔͊ò̵͜u̸͙͝r̸͜͠ ̶́͜w̸̮̉ẻ̴͚á̵͚k̶͎͌n̵̘͛e̶̪͐s̵̜͝s̵̛̤ ̸̼̋ĩ̸̭n̴̘̈t̷͙̎o̴̡̓ ̵̩͌ŝ̷͉t̴̺̊r̴͈̍e̶̡̔n̷̝̓g̶̭̚t̴̺̓h̸̩̓ You pull him closer and run a hand up into his hair, caressing the back of his head, “You already know the questions I have and I fully expect answers. However, at this moment, I only need to know one thing…” you move away to rest his head in your hands, forcing his crimson stare to you, “...if I help you to break your deal, are you willing to keep your chains and bind your soul to me?” Your tone is serious but affectionate. He needs to know I’m not asking from a place of selfishness. Ȓ̸̤u̷̞͗l̶̫͂e̸̛̩ ̴̬͝#̴̼̒3̶̙͝ ̷̣͂K̵̜̓e̴̘̽ë̶̤́p̸̳͑ ̷̣͘t̷̥͆ẖ̸͐o̶͉̐s̷͗͜e̷̛̻ ̵̪̍y̴͎͗ǒ̴͎u̵͘ͅ ̸͇́ĺ̵̮ö̴̧v̴̩̏ę̷̀ ̷̝̋c̸͠ͅl̶̫͑o̸͈͆s̴̟͠ë̵̢́

“Yes.” he says without hesitation. His immediate response takes you aback. The last thing you expected was the ‘all powerful’ Radio Demon to give into your request without a second thought. For a moment you are left completely speechless. 

Unassured by your lack of response, Alastor places his hands over yours, “You’ve already managed to obtain my heart and my mind. The second my deal is broken, I will give you my soul. I will give you everything.” Your heart flutters at his words. 

There isn’t a single hint of anger or regret in his voice. His eyes lock to yours as he peppers kisses into your palm and down your wrist. The image takes you back to the first night you spent with him just months prior. That night he looked hungry and desperate but now there’s nothing but devotion, a silent plea for your trust. 

You can’t fight the heat rising in your face from his affection. He always has a way of clearing your mind yet clouding it all at once. You’d be surprised if he couldn’t hear the pounding of your heart from his willingness to give everything to you. Well phase one of this plan is already going swimmingly. He cocks an eyebrow at how smug you suddenly look, reading you like an open book, “What schemes are you concocting behind those eyes?” 

You lightly peck his forehead, then his nose, stopping just above his lips. A sly grin spreads across your face, “I have a plan but you’re not going to like it.” He rolls his eyes and groans, “It involves Lucifer, doesn’t it?” 

He helps you to your feet and pulls you into him. Your hands rest perfectly against his broad chest as you smile up at him without an answer. His eyes close with a deep sigh, “My dear, I already do not like where I think this is going.” he mumbles, knowing you’ve already made up your mind. 

You stand on your toes to give him a quick playful kiss, “I believe it’s time for me to go make a deal with the Devil.” R̸̢̉u̷͙̔l̷̺̇e̴̡͌ ̷̢̿#̶̠̍2̷͊͜ ̵̤̕D̷̦̐o̴̞̒n̷̠̈́’̷͔̆t̵̪̀ ̴̬̊b̸̺͋ẽ̶͈ ̴̣͘a̴͚͋f̶͔͗ṙ̶͔a̵̻̕i̸̪̾d̵̲̂ ̸̙͗t̷̛̥o̸͕̐ ̸̟͊s̵̖̒h̸͔̊ö̷͇́ẃ̶ͅ ̷̯̓y̸̭̔o̸̮͆u̴̠͐r̷͙͝ ̶͚͝p̵͔͌ǫ̷̛w̵͔͝ė̶̝r̴͎̂

Tag List (Let me know if you would like to be added!)

@rl800 @fairyv-ice @looking1016 @martinys-world @sirens-and-moonflowers 

@alastorssimp @alastorsgirl48 @mysterisumone @ohnah2022 @catticora

@eris-norwega @kaylopolis @littlebluefishtail @little-slyvixen @laudrawin 

@qu1cks1lversb1tch @diffidentphantom @rapturenyx @purplerose291 @mcntsee

[factual-fantasy]

24 asks!! :0000🌟🎭🌟

I HAVE!!! :DDDD

Kinger and Caine are my favorite characters! I've seen a lot of theories and fanart and I've already started making my own AU and angst and everything but I cant DRAW any of that yet because I'm REALLY BUSY with an OVERDUE PROJECT AAAAA

(In recent development, Asgore is unable to heal Spamton because he is a darkener :((( )

I think it might have been addressed at one point yeah :0 Maybe something was wrong with Seam and Asgore reached out to help. In which Seam was terrified and Jevil jumped in to protect him. Asgore could see the trauma and tension in the both of them so he carefully backed off.

Later he could hear from Seam about their pasts and why they were afraid of him. Asgore would then try to take steps to.. not..? Be scary to them?? <:D

Spade king could have talked in a very gravely and booming voice. So Asgore is sure to always talk softly and clearly. He is careful to not make any sudden movements around Seam and Jevil. If he's reaching for something near Seam/Jevil he will gently announce what he's doing and make sure they understand before he does it.

Asgore with his hands in his lap: "Seam, I want to grab that bag.."

Seam: *turns "huh?"

Asgore, hands still in his lap: "That bag beside you, I'd like to grab it."

Seam: "oh, okay,"

Asgore then gently reaches for the bag, making sure that Seam can see his hand coming.

Little things like that would really ease Seam and Jevils nerves. And its what made Asgore so trustworthy to them. The fact that he cared so much about their comfort and went above and beyond to make sure they felt safe around him.

Not really a parental figure. He sees Seam as his equal in every way. So like.. he sees him as his brother of the same age.?

@beryl-shade

Oh he didn't lock Seam up in a cell. He just put shackles around his wrists and neck :00

The thing about Jevil is that the bigger the group got, the worse his habits became. And the harder it became to break those habits.. Jevil was the one who collected these people, so they are his responsibility. Giving up his food not just for Seam, but for everyone. Staying awake to keep the fire large and roaring to keep the group warm.

The others try to help him.. but they would have a hard time getting Jevil to listen to them. Telling him he needs to eat, sleep or just relax. He probably wouldn't listen because he's a bit stubborn and is probably riddled with anxiety 24/7.

Although when Asgore came around things got a lot easier.

Asgore is very powerful and has proved his trustworthiness multiple times to Seam and Jevil. So although the royal vibe is off putting.. Jevil trusts him to watch the fire at night and protect the group. Seam has been able to reason with Jevil about the food part a little too.

Jevil: "You need this food more than me. You gotta keep your strength up until we can find someone to break these chains!"

Seam: "Jevil, you consume energy to make those mirrors to other worlds. How are you supposed to keep looking for someone to break my chains, if you're collapsed on the ground, too weak to make another mirror?"

Jevil: "......."

Jevil: *takes ONE bite out of sandwich

I was thinking around 10 years or so..? Maybe more? Haven't really decided :0 And he was able to escape by making a mirror and stepping through it. That mirror basically poked a hole in the walls of the AU and he was able to step out of the AU. Effectively stepping out of his cell and breaking free :}

Also thank you!! :DD

@gracebeth3604

I've completely ignored comments like this recently because I don't wanna deal with all the drama that will surly follow. But you were really polite and very thorough with your evidence.. sooo I guess I might as well answer it now,

I am aware that people use they/them for Seam. But -> my version <- of Seam goes by he/him.

I don't reeallly have a Splatoon AU..? And I haven't played Splatoon in a while- although I do still like it and have made some Splatoon ocs!

These drawings are pretty old. I've been meaning to come back and re-draw them haha <XD

Yeah its okay to tag like that. Like "seam and jevil" or "mario and luigi". That's just tagging them as being in the same post, no big deal 👍

Also no, no art of any kind. If you truly wanna show that you appreciate my work then leave comments. Maybe reblog once in a while or send me an ask. The comments don't have to be anything complex. You could leave a "Looks great!" comment on 50 posts of mine in a row and I will see what you're doing and appreciate it endlessly.

@genericcereal-wastaken

(I most likely will lol XD) Also thank you! I'm glad you love it! :DD

@elegysonnet

Honestly I can see Seam wanting nothing wrapped around/touching his wrists for a while.. even though they need it. But he could accept cold rags being dabbed on the wounds to ease the stinging.

As for what he'd eat? Dude- anything XDD Probably a burger to start. He'd just take a big fat bite and cry about how good it tastes 😭

And yeah! Now that he has his full range of movement he has his cat like flexibility back :}}

When it comes to Seam using his magic? Its hard for a while...

He hasn't used it consistently in so long.. he would be rusty, and probably anxious to use it again. It would take a lot of sparing and gentle guidance from Jevil and probably Asgore to get his grove back.

It would also take time for him to physically heal. Having his body's energy constantly drained has really effected his ability to control his magic. He would need a few weeks of good sleep and hearty meals before he could get his groove back. But he'll get there. With the group/Jevils support, he would eventually be back to the way he was. Equally matched with Jevil. :}

@clevermakercupcake

Thank you!! :}}} 🌻🌻

I don't remember that, did he do that?? Kwazii whyyy that's nasty XDDD

@cupcake-kingdom

Seam is frightened and confused but appreciates the message! XD

Joy. There's just joy and relief everywhere.

There has been a constant anxiety over this group- not just Jevil, that Seam would suddenly collapse and die. Finally succumbing to the chains draining properties.

Now that the chains are off? Seam will heal. He will eat and stay full. He will absorb those calories and turn it into energy. And he will keep that energy. When he sleeps he will wake up feeling rested. He will heal, he will live.

For Seam, it was almost too good to be true. It just, it blew his mind. He was free. He was really free. No more pain, no more aches. No more hunger. His freedom truly starts here. The relief he felt can't be described. He cried, hard. But he also laughed, and for the first time in years, he smiled.

And Jevil? He couldn't speak. He just cried and cried and cried.. He couldn't let go of Seam. He couldn't stop looking at his wrists. Exanimating them over and over again. As if he couldn't truly believe it. All the anxiety, all the worry, all the sleepless nights. They were all over. Seam was gonna live, he didn't have to worry anymore. He couldn't let go of Seam, he couldn't stop shaking, he couldn't stop crying. He couldn't stop smiling.

They will likely leave some kind of permanent scar on Seam yes.. but his floofy orange fur hides the scars around his neck. And the scars on his wrists will be somewhat covered up by his fur. So thankfully they wont really be noticeable. <:)

@nunyabusiness459

Heck yeah. After they cry their souls out together they go and crash for like 6 hours or something XDD

(Also funny username, made me laugh! XD)

WAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! And heck yeah!! Feel free to send me your AU stuff when you're done/ready! I'd love to see it! :}}

@ocinstituterep I imagine he's just reeeeally quiet about sneaking out. My Kwazii doesn't sneak out though he knows better XD

Thank you so much! Also Spongebob has angst??? :00000

Things are mostly better!

Little Red got her knees fixed, Escorts broken down a few times but he's currently in working order! Suburban is stiillll a work in progress... undrivable at the moment- :x

Greenie now takes all 4 limbs to start, Brown is out of the garage and U.M is out of the trailer! Pretty good stuff :}}

(If any of that made sense to you I applaud you for your dedication to my Transformer ocs <XDD)

@skywillow28022

She does exist, although I didn't have any real plans for her.. maybe she was just a gal that the bros knew in passing back on Earth.?

@beryl-shade

I feel like none of them would willing visit that old stage.. expect for maybe Foxy. I feel like Foxy would be a very emotional and tender hearted character. I can see him not wanting to "leave them behind" in a way. He would come back now and then and talk to the stage as if they were standing on it and could hear him. The staff think that Foxy's programming just hasn't properly registered that Chica and Freddy are gone. And in a way.. they're right..

Foxy cant let go of their memory. And despite how much it would ache seeing that empty stage, I can see him coming back to it anyway..

This also means that part of the reason why Bonnie and Foxy clash so much now is that Bonnie is trying to snuff out any memories and feelings of the past. Meanwhile Foxy is wallowing in those memories and refuses to let go.

If any of the four of them had to preform on that stage once again? Oh man. That would hurt. It would kill Foxy to stand in the place of his late friends. He would feel guilty, ashamed.. Monty and Roxy also couldn't handle it. They would be crushed. Monty would likely get emotional and angry. Roxy would want to run and hide her face. Maybe the three of them would find a way to fake a malfunction so they could just get off the stage..

But Bonnie? Man. Maybe he's so overwhelmed that he just goes on autopilot and finishes the performance. Only to have a complete mental breakdown in his room later.. being so close to the memory of Chica and Freddy.. its crippling to him.

@skatermusic

Daww, thank you :}}}

[shadyhouse]

i am drowning in debt and i need help

im really struggling to make ends meet on top of everything else. i have a job but i dont get paid well and i can only get about 35hrs per week at most. i do get tips sometimes but the amount that i get is super unpredictable, and most of the time i dont get tips at all (im working as a bather at a dog grooming salon, the groomers make really good tips but as a bather im lucky if i get $10 a day)

ive been trying to find a new job for months now but its been really difficult for me. ive been sent home from job interviews for not having a car, and most of the applications i send out get rejected pretty quickly regardless of what the job actually is. ive even been getting rejected for jobs like customer service and kitchen and retail, which i have plenty of experience in. everything is hard for everybody right now, i know

altogether the amount that i owe is $990. it used to be much more but ive been slowly paying it off when im able to. thankfully this isnt debt that can accumulate interest, so this is the exact amount that i owe. i dont expect to recieve all of it from donations alone, and i wouldnt ask for that. i just need a little bit of a boost on top of my current wages/bills. im also trying to save as much money as possible at the same time, and its kind of impossible when i owe so much for other things. i need to knock this out before im able to save ANYTHING

id appreciate any amount at all! and if youre unable to donate i completely understand, id appreciate spreading this post around. thank you for reading if youve gotten this far, ily and have a wonderful day 💕

paypal.me/bewearrr

ko-fi.com/shadyhouse

vnm: @tobias_leviathan

[flowery-mess]

Swan Lake

Noah x ballerina reader

I will never forget the way I was feeling at that stage in front of all those people. My parents and siblings in first row, watching me with eyes full of tears and pride. I got the lead role in Swan Lake at the age of 16 which was seen as big accomplishment in ballet world. In that moment I felt happy, proud of myself and stronger than ever. But that didn’t last long.

Just a seconds after the big red curtain was closed and me and other dancers went in the direction of our changing room, I heard my name being called. Screamed, actually.

I turned around to see our trainer speed walking to me. I quickly went over the whole play in my head. What did I do wrong? I couldn’t think of anything, I felt good. She found million reasons to tell me I was a bad choice for playing the lead role, that I’m too fat and I won’t play on the next date.

That was it. That night I told my parents I’m done with ballet and I’m quitting immediately. My mother was ballet dancer too, we talked a lot about how hard it was for me lately, so she agreed with my decision and went to talk to my trainer. I packed my things and never saw that woman again. That felt like a big rock fell off my shoulders. That was 10 years ago.

-

“What are you thinking about?” Noah asked, his hand gently placed on my thigh as we were driving to my family home for Saturday lunch with my family.

“It’s 10 years anniversary of me ending my ballet career. I was thinking about it a lot recently.”

“Thinking about as?” he waited for my response as he didn’t really understand how I feel about it.

“As I miss it, I guess. I was thinking about talking with my mom about it today. Also I looked up some ballet classes in our area. But I don’t know, it was just a silly idea.” I shrugged it off.

I never really talked with Noah about my ballet career. I told him I did ballet for 14 years and quit for mental health issues. I mean, it’s very much known how the ballet industry works, so he understood. I have very mixed feelings about getting back into it at my age, so I haven’t told anyone yet.

I tried to stay healthy and fit, I sometimes go to open dance classes and sometimes I try some ballet steps. I still got it. I am a lucky one, I still have good stretches and I learn steps quickly. I just got bored of doing it only in our living room.

“Really? That’s not a silly idea, it’s actually a really cool idea. Did you find any good places?” I was surprised with Noah’s excitement. He is very supportive of everything I do, but I guess I expected different reaction.

“I like two ballet studios. They have some good teachers and also open classes, just for hobby attendance. One is on Mondays and the other one is on Thursdays, so I can try both and then see which one I like more.”

“Are you signed up already?”

“No, I am not sure Noah. It brings up lot of bad memories, 10 years ago it got me into a really bad place and I’m scared it’s going to be the same this time.” I felt tears coming as I thought of little 13 years old me crying through the whole night, because I was told I’m fat for ballet. That I’m not good enough. That I’m too tall to be a ballerina. That my skin is too pale. That I got in just because of my mother. That I’m never going to make it.

Those memories make me feel little and so vulnerable.

“I’m sure it will be great honey. If you miss it, then you should try it. But it’s your decision, okay? I don’t want to push you into anything. Take your time to think about it, talk with your mom and you will see what’s her opinion on this, right?” he brought his hand that was holding mine in it to his lips and placed small kisses against my palm.

“Thank you.” I shot him a smile which he gladly returned.

-

I loved days like today, spending time with my family. All of them love Noah, so after we have lunch, we are usually both separated and have conversation with someone else. Firstly, I talked to my siblings about college and their new internships, while Noah talked with my dad about new music and their upcoming Europe tour. My dad absolutely loves Bad omens and I am sure he is their biggest fan. When my family visits for shows, he never wants to be in the backstage, watching the show from safe space. He always goes in the crowd, which makes my mum crazy scared every single time.

I used this as a chance to talk to mom about the ballet thing that was going around in my head.

“Mom do you mind coming with me outside for a minute?”

“Of course darling.”

We took our coffees with us as we made our way to the garden and sit on the big couch that my parents had there for my whole life. That thing is going to outlive all of us.

“What is it darling?”

“What do you mean?” I tried to hide my worries, but my mom knows me too well.

“I know when my baby is worried about something. What is it? Is it Noah? Are you sad he’s going to leave for tour soon?”

“Oh no, well, yes that too, but it’s not the first time, that will be okay. It’s something I wanted to talk about especially with you.” I played with the cup in my hands and avoided the topic as long as I could.

“Come on hon, spit it out.”

“I was thinking about getting back into ballet.” I said and kept my eyes low, focused on the green grass. I looked up just because my mom wasn’t saying anything. “What? Are you going to say something? I don’t know what this face means.” I was honestly so confused with the way her face was looking at me. Was she happy about? Sad? I couldn’t tell.

“Well, I was expecting this much sooner than now.”

“What?”

“I always thought you will want to get back to it at some point in your life hon. You loved it. Aside from those ugly things, you loved ballet. I was so angry at that woman who ruined for you.”

“Why did you never say anything?” I was so confused. She was waiting for this for years and never talked about it with me?

“Because it’s your decision, not mine. I didn’t want you to think I was disappointed with you or pushing you back into it. Did you think of where would you start with classes? And would you want to take part in plays again?” She was right. It is just mine decision and with everything she saw me go through I understand she was worried.

“I found two studios near our home that look good. They have weekly open classes that I was thinking about. But I wanted to talk with you first about it.”

Then we fell into long dialogue about everything connected with be going back into ballet. My mom gave me a courage to at least try it. She said my eyes lit up when I talked about the good memories I had from my child age. She also told me that I am more mature than I was back then and even if I don’t think I can handle it, I can. And she was right.

I’m a grown woman now, I can handle myself and protect myself. It’s also just open class for everyone who wants to try ballet, there will be no judgement.

-

“I’m going to try it.” We left my parents house later than expected, so it was dark outside when we were driving back.

“The open classes? Did you talk with your mom about it?”

“Yes and she said I should give it a chance. So I guess I won’t be home on Monday evening.”

“Can I go watch you?” Noah asked.

“What?” I returned him a question, not knowing what he meant.

“I mean I never saw you do your ballet thing and you will be wearing those ballet outfits and I’m sure that will be hot.” He said as if it was obvious fact that I should’ve known.

“You’re not being serious right now, are you?” I tried to hold my laugh in at his innocent clueless face.

“Well I’m not, but I would really like to see your little ballet outfit for sure.” He turned his face to you so you could see his smirk.

“Sure, watch the road you perv.”

-

It had already been a month since I started going to open classes in the studio I chose after the first week. I chose the one closer to our home, their dance rooms were bigger and more modern and our teacher was a lovely girl, possibly my age.

And it felt amazing. It felt like I was alive again. Don’t get me wrong I loved my life with Noah, my work and everything, but this felt like the missing piece.

While I was changing into my clothes after today’s class, our teacher Molly came to talk to me.

“Listen Y/N, I know you said you have bad experience and memories with professional ballet, but we have few spots open in our semi professional group and I thought you’d be great candidate. I see you’re learning faster than anyone in your class and I’m scared you would get bored after a while. There will be auditions, but I can get a word in for you and see if you could skip them. Just think about it and let me know as soon as you decide please.”

That night I came running home to share that news with Noah.

“WHERE ARE YOU?” I screamed just seconds after I opened the door.

“Studio.”

When I opened the door Noah turned in his chair to face me.

“Did I do something?” he looked scared.

“What?”

“Why are you screaming and running, I’m scared I did something.” You let out a chuckle at his words.

“No, but I got news. Great news.”

“Let me hear them.”  I walked over to him and sat in his lap.

“I just got offered a place in semi professional group at the studio. Without auditions, Molly wants me there.”

“Honey that’s great news! That’s amazing news!” he stood up with me in his arms and spined us around.

“So you think I should accept that offer?”

“You haven’t already?”

“No, I wanted to think about it.”

“Judging by your reaction, there’s nothing to think about.” He smiled into our kiss.

“I guess I’m back on track then.” I kissed him back.

-

Long story short, I accepted Molly’s offer and started with my new group. I had classes 4 times a week, which was bit hard to get used to, but after while it was okay.

Noah left for tour, so at least I got something to do with my free time.

Noah leaving was also good for another reason. There is time difference between us, so we usually text each other or have short calls, so my worries are easy to hide.

Last week Molly told us that our group will be playing Swan Lake few months from now on, which brought back some memories. Semi professional groups still play in midsized theatre, I joined them when there wasn’t any, so I expected some play to come soon, but not this one.

I had mixed feelings about it, thinking if I want to play or if I just pass this one. Applications are closing in three days and I still haven’t applied for any role, which was weird for Molly.

She asked me about it after last class, so I told her about my ballet history, how Swan Lake basically ruined it for me. Molly is very positive person, so she told me something that got stuck in my head. She said I could take it as an opportunity and change Swan Lake from something bad to something really good in my life.

Truth is, I am thinking about applying for Odette/Odile, but I haven’t told anyone yet.

-

“Okay that’s enough love, what is going on?” Noah asked through the phone and I saw his forehead wrinkles were making his worried face. It’s scary how well he knows me, but with tomorrow being the last day for applications I needed to tell him.

“Our group is going to play Swan Lake in a few months and I don’t know if I should apply or not. It’s the play that made me quit.”

“Looks like it’s your second chance to make the best out of it. Listen, you were worried about even getting into ballet again and look at you now! I know you’re worried now, but wouldn’t you regret not even trying it?” I felt like I was on the phone with Molly right now.

“I know, I was thinking about applying for the lead role, I did it back then too. But maybe I should do other role?”

“Oh no love, if anyone is supposed to be the lead role in this play, it’s you.”

“You have to say this, you’re my boyfriend Noah.”

“Well wouldn’t you be the same if I was in your position? That’s what you do for your partner. You know how many songs would be forgotten and never released if you didn’t support me? There is lot of them I thought weren’t good enough, but you made me finish them. I may don’t understand ballet, but I understand you and I know you would regret not applying. So you get your ass up right now and fill what ever you need to fill and send it to Molly or I’m going to do it.”

And he was right, I would regret it. But I still couldn’t believe myself when I saw ‘send’ on my screen after I applied for Odette/Odile.

-

Molly informed me that me and 5 other girls applied for the same role, so there will be two rounds of auditions, first one starting on Monday, which gives me 6 days to prepare for it. Noah is also coming back home on Monday, so I’m happy I will share the outcome with him. Either we will celebrate or he will make me his comfort food and I’m happy with both options.

-

I spend the last 6 days going over the choreography for the first round of auditions. Everyday after work I went straight home and practiced. Last night I didn’t get a chance to talk with Noah, because he was already on his way back to the states. I at least talked to my mom this morning.

“Y/N you’re next.” I heard Molly from the ballet room.

-

“I’m homeee.” I heard Noahs voice that I missed so much. I left the pans on low heat and left kitchen to meet Noah in the living room.

I didn’t waste any time and went straight in for a kiss.

“Missed me much?” he managed to say between our kisses.

“Very much.” I looked at his face, tired face, and held it in my hands “Hi love.”

“Hi.” He leaned his forehead against mine as we enjoyed bit of silence and each other’s presence after month and two weeks apart.

“How was the flight?” I broke the silence, took his hand and led him into our kitchen to finish dinner.

“It was okay. I slept most of the time, but I’m still very tired. And I need a shower.”

“You can go take a shower now, it will take few more minutes until it’s done.” I pointed to the food.

“Okay.” Noah got up, left kiss on my nose and went to get shower. That’s what I thought at least. On his way to our bathroom, he realized I didn’t tell him about the audition.

“Y/N? Wasn’t the audition today?” it was, but I wanted to tell him about the result over dinner.

“It was, but I wanted to tell you later.” I tried to hide the smile on my face.

“You got through to the second audition, didn’t you?” he caught your smile and immediately knew the answer. “I guess we can celebrate right now in the shower huh? Are you going to join me?”

-

“So girls, I want to thank you for participating in this audition. It was hard to decide, but in the end, we agreed on one name. And it’s you, Y/N. We were amazed by your performance and we feel like your experience with this play could help us to make the best of it. Congratulations!” Molly gave me a hug and whispered in my ear that she knew it was going to be me from the beginning.

Noah and my mom said the same. My mom made sure she put date of the premiere in hers and dad’s calendar so they wouldn’t miss it. Noah also made sure to clear that day months in advance and welcomed me home with a flower and dinner as a celebration.

-

Breathe in, breathe out. And repeat. I stood in backstage already in my costume. I saw Noah and my parents in the first row as the rest of the room filled with strangers. Strangers that are going to be watching me in a few minutes.

“Are you ready Y/N? How are you feeling?” I felt Molly’s hand on my shoulder.

“I’m nervous, but also excited. I haven’t preformed for over decade, so I hope I don’t panic.”

“You’ll be great. We did lot of work, all of you will do great tonight.”

She then went to talk to other girls and I felt my phone buzz in my hand. It was Noah.

“Don’t be nervous, we’re very excited to see you shine tonight. You’ll kill it babe, I love you.” Oh my sweet Noah. Supportive as always.

-

I stood still in my pose as the curtain was closing. I let out a big breath I didn’t even realised I was holding in when the curtain was fully closed. I turned around to see my friends and in that moment we realized we just finished our premiere of the Swan Lake. And it was perfect. We did group hug, with Molly joining us. It was completely different than 10 years ago. This night was full of support and love.

I went to change into my normal clothes and then to meet Noah and my parents.

My dad and Noah both had bouquets in their hands and my mom had tears in her eyes. She was also the first one to pull me into a hug.

“I’m so proud of you Y/N, you can’t even imagine. You grew up into a beautiful woman and you just showed me how strong you are.”

“Thank you, mom, I couldn’t have done this without you.”

Then it was my dad who pulled me into strong hug. My dad didn’t show emotions a lot, so I appreciated him coming tonight.

I really wanted to literally jump into Noah’s arms, but I kept calm in front of my parents. They said their goodbyes and left, because they have long road ahead of them.

As soon as they left the parking lot I turned to Noah and attacked him with hugs and kisses.

“Slow down baby, let me congratulate you and give you this beautiful flower.” It really was beautiful bouquet. Noah always got me beautiful flowers.

“How was it? Did you like it?” I was interested in Noah’s opinion, because it was his first ballet play he saw.

“It was beautiful! You were amazing! I know you can stretch your legs right, but I didn’t know you can stretch them like this.” I didn’t know if I should slap his arm for his stupid comment or laugh at him as he was trying to show me what he meant and trying to do the pose he was referring to.

“Okay ballerina I get it!” I laugh and stopped him from what he was doing before he got himself injured.

“Do you want to go out for dinner and drinks? Or go home and order something? You must be hungry.” We intertwined our hands and Noah led me to his car. He was right, I didn’t eat much today, because of the nerves.

“I think I want to go home, order something to eat, have a glass of wine, have hot bubble bath and then my back could use a massage…”

“I will give you massage only if you let me join you in the bath.” Of course he wouldn’t miss that chance.

“Deal. Let’s get home.” Noah started his car and took my hand in his.

“I love you and I’m so proud of you. I’m getting tickets to every show and I’m making the guys come with me.”

“Okay.” I laughed, but I knew he was serious. I’m sure that at the next show I’m going to see the core of BO crew in the front row.

“But I’m serious, I love you.”

“I love you too Noah, thank you for being by my side for all of this.”

“Always.”

[yo-yo-yungi]

MY LOVE, MY GRATITUDE - JEONG YUNHO - SFW

Yunho x reader

Genre: angst

Warning list: Angst- so you know, it ain’t happy. Mentions of a fall (no serious damage), mentions of a scar on the readers knee, mentions of food

Word count: 583

Summary: sometimes letters are made to be sent. Other times, letters are for the words we regret never saying.

Dear Yunho,

I wish I had sent this letter years ago, now it's too late. How am I supposed to confess when you look at her the way I look at you? Why did it take you only 2 months to ask her out, when I've been waiting for 10 years? Yunho, I've known you for so long, seen the good, the bad, and the ugly (yes, like the cowboys - yes, I'm a dork). We've known each other since we were 12 - is that the issue? Do you see me as a sister? I doubt it, especially since you kissed me at the Halloween party. Yes, you were drunk. No, I never mentioned it. But have I been thinking about it every second of every day since then? Yes.

I frequently revisit the photos of you stored on my phone. There are over 1,000 of them... you always had a habit of taking selfies whenever I left my phone unattended. Oh how I long for you to do that again.

When I look at photos, they can't compare to a single glance at you. Your beauty cannot be fully captured in an image; it's not the same as seeing you in person. Could you walk past me one last time? No need for a sly wink or even a glance my way, just walk... I'll be watching.

Did you watch the sunset with her as you did with me? I should have confessed my love to you then, should have expressed how those moments meant everything to me.

The little moments with you are etched into my memory like sacred scripture. I can’t look at a tulip without remembering the time you got me some for my birthday, I can't look at a toothbrush without remembering all our childhood sleepovers. Yunho, even my own desk brings back memories of you falling off the chair. But… worst of all, the one that bothers me the most… I can’t look at myself without thinking of you. You changed me, both physically and mentally. Like that scar that graces my knee from when you pushed me a little too hard and I fell to the concrete… I’m sorry by the way, that was my fault… I shouldn’t have said the cupcakes you made were ugly. I loved them… truly. Every time I see that mark on my knee I think of you. It’s not fair…

Whenever someone mentions my considerate nature, I think of you, because you were the one who taught me that. Before I met you, I was unkind and harsh. Why did you give me a chance? You, this beacon of positivity, why did you give me a chance? Is it selfish to wish you hadn't? Because now I'm left with an emptiness in my heart. It stings like a fresh wound - I understand this may not be the best metaphor, but I don't care.

Yunho, I'll put it simply-

I am absolutely, desperately, unconditionally in love with you and everything that you are. If I can turn back time and tell you how I felt before you met her- I would- but I can’t do that now… it’s selfish. You taught me that selfishness isn’t a good look on anyone.

Since I can't express my love for you, I'll express my gratitude instead. Thank you for shaping me into the person I am today. I'm also grateful for the lessons you've taught me about love. I'll cherish these memories forever.

<3

[thesensteawitch]

IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM YOUR SHADOW

🌑🪶🌑🪶🌑🪶🌑🪶

Pick A Pile Reading

🌑(Left To Right- Pile 1, Pile 2 and Pile 3)🌑

Hello, Senstea Souls!

I am back after a long time! Hufff! Missed me?🥹Anyway, I hope you're all doing well and are happy. Today's reading will reveal an important message from your shadow side.

I am also offering ‘integrate your shadow’ reading only at $9.

-Book Your Reading

-Rate Card

-Tip My Blog (I would be grateful if you support my blog!)

Pile 1

Cards- King of Swords, death, the high priestess, the emperor, ace of Wands, 10 of Swords, 9 of Wands, 8 of swords

Hello, my beautiful pile 1. I hope you're doing well.

Are you going through something enormously difficult? I hear “I don't want to fight and I don't want to sleep in the dark.” This is what you feel towards your own shadows pile 1. You're tired of trying to figure out what's wrong with you and your life. Lion and Owl are coming up strongly. Which means with courage by your side you'll find your answers. You're underconfident about your own judgements. I know you can't see yet but you will. Though you're destined to go through this transformation finding the light is still in your hands. Your mind has your hands chained which is of course an illusion. Your shadow wants to tell you that you've tied your own hands. Your life can be in your control. Your shadow is saying that you're ignoring your intuition. You want everything backed up by facts but that's not how life works. Strawberries and cigarettes all taste the same to you which means you're losing the appetite for life. All because you can't see clearly only because you think too much. Your shadow pushes you to overthink and makes you believe that thinking will give you answers but it won't. Because thinking has never solved any problem completely. You can only perceive and think based on the memories stored in your system but intuition is raw. Intuition can tell you things that you've never known and where thinking can never reach. You're halfway in your journey of realising your potential. You're halfway in the dark tunnel. Your mind can only take you so far now beyond this you need to allow your intuition to take the lead sometimes. You're about to have a spiritual awakening pile 1 don't strangle your spirit and give so much importance to the mind and the memory. Sit still. Let stillness take you in. Stop giving excuses. Just let life happen to you and choose grace. Things are not as difficult as you think. You don't need to overburden yourself with the constant need to find all the answers right away. Life isn't about finding the answers but finding yourself. Your shadow wants you to first accept that it's there. Only then you can accept all parts of yourself. To understand your shadow better book a “integrate your shadow” reading with me. DM to book your reading!

Pile 2

Cards- Ace of Cups, king of Wands, 5 of Pentacles, Queen of Wands, 4 of Pentacles, knight of swords, knight of Pentacles, justice, 2 of swords, 5 of Cups, 5 of Wands

Hello, my beautiful pile 1. I hope you're doing well.

You're not happy with what you have in pile 2. Your shadow side is saying that you live with a lack of mindset. Sparks of inspiration and motivation come to you but they also disappear as soon as they arrive. You are not able to live up to the ideal dream life that you have in your mind. There's a need for you to heal yourself emotionally. You really need to cry it all out. You've also compared yourself with the outer world. I hear, “I have got my eye on you!” What is that you want, pile 2? What is it that you think someone has and you don't? I see that you feel that everyone is making progress except you. All of their journeys are unique and different. I sense that there are people involved in your life or around you who you think are doing better than you. This is heartbreaking to see that you're deciding your worth based on others' life. Don't you see how hard you've worked and for how long you've been trying to build your dream life? You don't see it happening but that doesn't mean nothing's changing. There so much happening for you behind the scenes. Your whole spirit team is so happy with your efforts and wants to give you a tight hug! You'll also see results pile 2. Be patient. Open your heart and express. Release the pain because good things are coming. I know you're trying to get over all this pain but that's the point stop trying. Surender the fruits of your labour on God. He'll take care of your rewards and will give you when the time is right. Focus on taking care of your garden. If you just see your future self right now you wouldn't even believe that it's you! There's something you need to release and your shadow wants you to release that as it's creating obstacles on your path. Let go of what's not serving you anymore. Now is the time. Justice will befall you and the scales will be balanced again. Make space in your life to receive the blessings. To understand yourself better book a “integrate your shadow” reading with me. DM to book your reading.

Pile 3

Cards- Page of Pentacles, 2 of Swords, King of Wands, Queen of Cups, Knight of Swords, Justice, Page of Swords

Hello, my beautiful pile 1. I hope you're doing well.

Is someone from your past showing up again? If you're dealing with someone but don't know if to trust this person or not then you're asked by your shadow side not to trust this person. Don't let your past hold you back! I also see that you have options. You have got the urge to choose the one who you know deep down isn't right for you. You need to release one connection. And if there's only one person who is from the past then let go of this person because the universe is soon going to bless you with a new person. Either way, you're asked to choose someone stable and reliable. Don't fall for someone's appearance or their words. Look at their actions! This other person or new person will do justice to you and will treat you right. The past connection will only bring more confusion and won't let you be free. There's something irresistible about you due to which this person is drawn to you. Reject this person's offer because if you're in no contact then they will soon be contacting you. This person perhaps was good to you in the past and that's why you can't digest that they can even be something from what you have imagined of them. You're unable to accept the reality and I also feel that this person who you already know had some past life connection with you and now you're supposed to break this cycle. Someone has to! Because it's karmic. This old connection is not where you're supposed to be. Things with this person have always been short-lived because it was a karmic connection. Your shadow side wants you to realise who you are and don't make yourself small for this person. I hear, “I don't wanna tip toe, but I don't wanna hide. But don't wanna feed this monstrous fire just wanna let this story die. And I'll be alright. We can't be friends. But I would like to just pretend. You cling to your papers and pens. Wait until you like me again.” These are the thoughts of your shadow and it's asking you to not feed them. Because no pile 3 you're not supposed to wait for them to love you. Love yourself! This person dims your light because I can see that you're someone else when you're not around them. They somehow want to control you. This new person/the second person is with whom you're destined to be in this lifetime. A new life awaits for you. As you release this karmic connection you'll be forging towards your destiny. Expect powerful changes. Here the energy is quite confusing as I do see three people involved. Choose wisely and do not forget that you need to love yourself first. Sometimes we tend to choose people just so that we feel worthy of love. To understand yourself better book a “integrate your shadow” reading with me. DM to book your reading.

[yuriririnnie]

To Hug a Porcupine

A/N: I remember getting so much hate and having to go through so many conversations about how much of a walking red flag I am literally with everyone I know and love. I know a lot of us can relate, and we get along so well with those who tolerate us so much, it’s so unhealthy. Let this story be a homage to those who have been so patient with us, and love us so dearly despite it being so difficult. The metaphor is just so beautiful and I can’t help but reflect!

PAIRING | Sim Jaeyun (Jake) x reader

WC | 3.2k (again, wth Alice?)

GENRE | angst, fluff, everything’s sfw y’all is it even me if it’s not?

WARNINGS | explicit language (pardon my French, I can’t help it) mentions of sex, alcohol consumption, attachment issues, and all that teen angst

SYNOPSIS | You’re hard to love. That’s it. That’s the plot. 

—

“That’s it?” he breathed, “two years worth of my life and you’re going to throw it all away because “you can’t take it anymore”?”

Looking around the field you finally pluck up the courage to nod. 

“Yes.”

It was about 10 more seconds before he picked up his backpack and left you sitting on the bleachers by yourself. It was the first break up of your life and you thought it would be more eventful, tearful, and painful, but the reality was that it was pretty straightforward and simple. Maybe it was the build up you’ve been feeling for a while, or maybe this wasn’t the kind of love you thought would have you begging on your knees. He was your first boyfriend and you thought that this break up would feel a lot more meaningful than this. 

You stay there alone for a while.

“So how did it go?” you finally feel the presence and warmth of a human being. “Did he cry? Oh my god please don’t tell me he cried.”

“No, Jake he did not cry.”

You moved from where you sat making room for him and his huge gym bag. Judging from his wet hair and pink cheeks, he probably just got out of football practice and just couldn’t wait to hear the news from you. 

“Man, I wish I could have made it on time before he left. The guy could have used some comforting.” 

You snorted, “You didn’t even like him that much.”

“Because he was totally jealous of me! He even asked you to avoid me at one point. He didn’t deserve you.”

“I actually think that it was me who didn’t really deserve him,” you countered albeit reluctantly, “Jay was a good guy.”

Jake could only nod slowly.

“And besides, it was me who woke up one day and realized I just didn’t like him anymore.” 

You sighed, getting lost in your thoughts trying to dig deep into your feelings to get an answer as to why you did not feel an ounce of regret or longing for any comforting yourself. It wasn’t every day you get to break up with your first boyfriend after all. 

Jake knew exactly why though. He’s been your best friend since childhood and witnessed you grow into the woman that you are now. The extrinsic changes were present and evident, but he knew who you were deep inside so everything you ever did or every decision you’ve ever made was still somewhat predictable to him. He will never tell you that, but you were hard to love, not because you were a bad person or because you treated others like shit. But because you were so fiercely loyal, strongly assertive, and undeniably rational. You wore your emotions up your sleeve but never put up with other people’s shit. This was especially because you had the patience of a driver stuck in rush hour traffic, and had absolutely no tolerance whatsoever. 

You were a walking red flag and even you knew it. And for some “unknown” pathetic reason, Jake tolerates you anyway. 

The very reasons why you were hard to love are the same reasons why it’s easy to fall head over heels for you.   

You looked at him, and he looked at you. You both smiled when he said, “Let’s get outta here.” 

—

You were now in college and you’d think that the break ups would get harder over time because you learn to understand and feel for others even more. They do still get a little difficult, especially with how invested people become when they fall in love. However, as you grew, things got a lot more complicated and the more that you’ve been pouring your feelings onto someone else, the thinner your patience got as time passed and it became easier, a lot less regretful for you to leave someone behind. 

“Heeseung told me you broke up with him.” Jake sat next to you on the couch as you mindlessly flipped through the Netflix shows you and him saved to watch together over the summer. 

You shrugged, still tapping on the remote. 

“Yeah, it was only a few months in, I didn’t think it was a big deal and— hey!!” 

He snatched the remote away and you were forced to face him. He looked at you with piercing eyes. Like, he had been angry with you before but you always hated having to confront him with these things. 

“Y/N, seriously. Tell me what happened.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes and finally caving in only because you thought that he would never let it go, and you wanted to watch your movie. 

“Things got too serious too fast. You know how easily overwhelmed I get.”

“What did he do to overwhelm you?”

“He told me that he loved me.”

You both paused. Jake witnessed the many boys that went after you but none of them had ever dropped the L-word knowing the kind of girl that you are. This was foreign territory for him too, but now that he knows what your reaction would be when someone tells you that for the first time, he suddenly felt the need to be more cautious, to be more careful of the things he might end up saying. 

“Oh.” he finally spoke. 

“I told you it was overwhelming.” you muttered, stealing back the remote from him. 

That night, he didn’t feel the need to pry even more. It was enough for him to know how sensitive you were about being told that you were loved. Nonetheless, he felt a small ache in his heart knowing that someone beat him to it. 

—

It was the night after graduation and instead of rejoicing over the milestone and celebrating with your friends and family, you were crying on the rooftop, burying your face into your arms as you wept. It was the first time you ever cried over a boy this hard, and you didn’t think it would hurt this bad. 

You heard footsteps nearby and a familiar warmth surrounded you. Jake cradled you in his arms and rubbed your sides as you continued to hide your face from the cold night air. 

“He said I was controlling and that I had too much of a chokehold on him,” you broke down, “he said that he felt like he was losing himself through the course of our relationship and that he allowed me to make all the decisions for us way too much.”

“There, there. It’s not your fault.” he whispered, “you did your best to love him in a way that you thought he wanted to be loved.”

“No, Jake, just no!” you lifted your head up and Jake swore that he heard his heart crack at the sight of your tears. “I loved him in my own way. I loved him because that’s how I wanted to love! It wasn’t how he wanted to be loved!” 

Jake felt the urge to just get up and punch Beomgyu, the boy who made you cry, in the face and make him regret that he ever broke your heart. However, he didn’t find it in him to argue, so he pulled your head onto his chest and let you cry and cry. This time, he finally witnessed you fall hard and actually admit it, and it awoke something in him. He was always on the fence about how he felt because you were best friends, but this time it’s decided. 

Sadly, he knew you weren’t in the right headspace. He knew he wasn’t ready. He will tell you when he’s ready. 

—

“You ghosted him?!” Jake put his beer down firm and loud, it made your dog jump in surprise. Poor Cookie.

“He was getting clingy, and you know that that can’t be for someone who’s struggling to obtain a law degree. School’s demanding, you know that.” 

You took a sip of your own beer nonchalantly.

So this was boy number four for you. Soobin. 

Okay, maybe number five because you couldn’t stand the guy you hooked up with twice a year back. Yeonjun was great, but he was also a law student and all you ever talked about after sex were your professors, subjects, and just law school in general. It was like sleeping with a coworker and you didn’t want that. 

“Soooo… you don’t like nice guys, you don’t like guys who say I love you too quickly, you don’t like it when they don’t allow you take control, but hate it when you have too much control.” he took a deep breath and continued, “you don’t like clingy, but you don’t like distant either.”

God he sounded like one of your classmates reciting important provisions, it almost gave you a headache. 

“I can’t help but be myself.” 

“You’re so hard to love.” he groaned.

Letting out a squeaky laugh you sang, “You love me anywaaaaayyy~!” and moved closer to him.

Jake choked on his beer and looked at you with panicked eyes. He knew that you were just playing and didn’t mean it in a way that’s past the boundary of being friendly. Well in your case, best-friendly. Still it made his heart skip a beat. 

You lift your feet up to fold your knees and made yourself comfortable on the couch next to him. It was always weird that you never felt any tension between you and Jake despite being so close to each other. You had nearly maximum skinship and spent more than half of your lives together and yet the relationship between you two was always tiptoeing the lines between romantic and just friends. It was the perfect trope, however, you knew Jake so well and loved him despite his lack of bitches and possession of so much negative rizz. 

He was so undeniably attractive yet never opened up to you about any girl. You always thought that maybe he was just picky but as the years passed you couldn’t help but wonder if he’s being too invested in you or is spending way too much time on you. Just the thought of those things being the reasons why he might not be getting any girlfriends made you cringe.

“It feels like hugging a porcupine.” he suddenly felt so confident in lecturing you.

“Hmm?”

“Like hugging a porcupine. You know, loving someone that’s difficult to love.” 

“That metaphor is so adorable, I almost feel like I am not offended.” your smile was there, but faltered when you suddenly felt the seriousness of the conversation. You don’t remember how much you two drank at this point of the night but you’re sure it has already been 6 beers in each and 6-beer Jake was truthful Jake and you’re not sure if you’re ready for it. 

You cleared your throat to ease some of the tension and scooted to the right to create some distance between you two, small enough to not be awkward, but distant enough to create a proper boundary. 

“What about you?” you finally said, “You were always at the front-row to witness my failed relationships but I have never heard you talk about your love life like literally ever.”

“You never asked.” he said.

“Never felt like I needed to ask.”

“Well I’m telling you now that you need to ask for me to answer.”

You felt a surprise chill at the change of atmosphere. If he liked someone he would have talked about her long ago, or could have at least mentioned her. You felt slightly disappointed in the newfound knowledge that he might really have had a girlfriend or liked someone before and you didn’t know why. It was unfair of him to keep that from you, but you also felt selfish in a way because you made everything seem like it was about you all these years. 

“I like someone Y/N, duh. I’m still a guy after all.” he chuckled. 

You sighed, not sure if it was out of relief or worry. “So are you gonna tell me or nah?”

He pretended to think for a while. “You’ll know.”

“Oh come on!!” you whined, “is she someone I know?!” 

“I said you’ll know her soon!” he continued to tease, “I’m actually making it blatantly obvious.”

“Fine. Though even if you don’t tell me, you know I’ll find out one way or another.”

“I hope it doesn’t drive you crazy.”

“Please. You can’t make me what I already am.” 

He laughed out loud and rubbed the top of your head. “Right. A crazy little porcupine.”

You deadpanned him and stuck your tongue out but snuggled back to him anyway, finally watching whatever movie it was that was playing in the background. 

—

The restaurant was quiet when you arrived. No one was around except for the waiter that greeted you as you walked in. You take in the ambiance with all senses, ears were surrounded by faint jazz music, everything was painted emerald and gold, roses carefully placed at the center of each table. The smell was a mixture of fresh mint and musk. Adding to it were the sounds of kitchenware clanging and chefs bickering in the background. It made you feel a little small considering you were kind of underdressed for the occasion. 

Jake told you to wear something decent and you did. You just didn’t think that decent meant extra formal. It was a little embarrassing and you make a small reminder inside your head to kill him later. 

You finally sat down on a table by the window feeling really nervous about meeting the girl Jake has been dying to introduce to you for the first time. He was extra giddy about her lately you weren’t sure how you felt about him being all worked up about some girl all of a sudden. Also, you wondered where has she been all this time. There was no build-up regarding her existence whatsoever so the whole idea of her made you skeptic. 

This whole thing reminded you of you guys’ childhood when one of your friends confided you saying that she liked Jake. It was just a small middle school crush and was meant to be a secret but it sent such a bad taste on your tongue. Granted that you were a kid back then, but thinking about it now, you knew that you still would have felt the same bad mood knowing someone else was making Jake the object of their affection. You were occupied with falling in love with other people and drowned in the flattery others were giving you, but never too distracted from the feeling of anger when you knew someone was crushing on your best friend.

It’s so funny how much you guys have been through together and how much you’ve grown. You know that a lot has changed for you and him but the dynamic of your relationship was your only constant. The idea of it changing because of this girl caused an emotional whiplash quicker than you ever imagined—and you haven’t even met her yet!

This another reason why you were so difficult. You were greedy and never swallowed your pride.

Fast forward to today. Here you are contemplating on your life decisions that involved Jake at the very last minutes of your chances of ever actually getting to be with him. How pathetic could you get picturing yourself watching him fall in love with someone else? 

The wait felt like hours and you checked your phone about 10 times within the last 12 minutes. He said he was going to be late because he was picking her up but the suspense was killing you.

You heard a bell ring from the entrance indicating that someone’s finally here. You looked up from your phone and spotted a familiar four-legged cutie walk up to you. 

“Layla?” you gaped, running towards her as she wagged her tail at the sight of you. “Oh my gosh, look at how big you’ve gotten!”

It has been ages since you saw Jake’s dog. She grew up alongside with you guys but you haven’t seen her since college and whatever Jake was up to right now made you forgive him for making you go through whatever this was. A million good girls, hugs, and slobbers later, your cute aggression subsided as you noticed something dangling from her collar. It was a locket with a picture of you and Jake back when you were kids on your first play date. You couldn’t remember taking that photo but you do remember not liking him at first. He was hugging you while you made a face. 

Were you gonna cry right now? Oh my god you are literally going to cry right now.

You stood up as the dog ran back towards the door and that’s where you saw Jake in his black turtle neck shirt, hair falling down to his eyes, just enough to cover his eyebrows, perfectly bordering his perfectly sculpted face. You always knew he was handsome but had you always known he was this handsome? He crouched down to ruffle Layla’s head of fur before walking to where you were. 

You were completely, utterly dumbfounded. What the hell was going on? Was he pranking you? If he was pranking you right now you would dump him so fucking hard both as a lover and as a best friend.

“Hi.” he smiled as if he didn’t just drop the biggest love bomb on you.

“You said you were going to be late because you were picking her up.” your voice was stern, still pretending to be your iron self even if deep inside your guts were doing somersaults. 

“Well, picking Layla up from home is a bit hard. She isn’t as light as she used to be.”

You both laughed.

You hear him take a deep breath and whispered, "I love you, Y/N."

Wasting not a second further you wrapped your arms around his neck and held him the tightest you have ever held him your entire life. You felt his hands grip your waist as he kept you guys in place. You hugged him so tight it nearly knocked the both of you down. He giggled and finally settled with rubbing your back, taking in the sounds of your beating hearts. Nothing compared to how close you were at this very moment, and you two have had your fair share of moments of zero-personal space. It wasn’t like when you sat close the day at the bleachers with his arm around you, not when you cried on his shoulder at the rooftop during graduation night, and not even like the drunken nights where you fell asleep on his chest. Nothing compared to how close you were right now.

“Did you see our photo?” he broke the silence, “I told you it was hard, but even as a kid I always knew how to hug a porcupine.”

“You’re insufferable.”

And with that, you shared your first kiss with your one true love, your soulmate, your best friend. And all it took was a leap of faith and the courage to love who was difficult to love.

[chuuyaandreaderkilldazai]

Ranking JJK Characters I Don't Like

Ranging from mild dislike (14) to LOATHE WITH EVERY INCH OF MY BEING (1).

14. Mai: I don't hate her. I sympathize with her. I just wish she wasn't the way she is.

13. Junpei: I do have compassion for him, but ... school shooter vibes. Not a fan.

12. Noritoshi: Bad vibes.

11. Toji: Bad dad. And he's so nosy, too. Why does he always insert himself into situations with his fists swinging? Actually, now that I think about it, that's kind of iconic behavior. But all it ever really did was create more problems. If he had never inserted himself into the plot, Geto would have probably never turned mass-murderer-cult-leader--WE COULD HAVE HAD EVERYTHING. So it's a pass for me. Also, his haircut is off-putting for reasons I cannot articulate. It's like one day in middle school he got a haircut and just never changed up the style ever again.

10. Jogo: Ugly.

9. Uraume: Character design: slay. Helping Sukuna: not slay.

8. Like every adult from the Zenin clan: BECAUSE THEY SUCK.

7. Tengen: Old and entitled.

6. Kenjaku: Old and entitled part two. What gives him the right?

5. Sukuna: Horrid, nasty man. I feel like I shouldn't have to elaborate.

4. Ui Ui: Annoying. Literally, why are you even here?

3. Mei Mei: First of all, how am I supposed to take you seriously with that stupid braid hanging in front of your face? From the very instant her character was introduced, I did not like her, but I thought maybe I was being a woman hater for no reason, so I really did try to tolerate her. But when we finally saw that scene in season two. PRISON!!! I was right. She's the worst. We are not gonna ignore that. Check her files.

2. That thing with the blond side ponytail: I hate him so much I don't even know his name. I don't care to know it. I would say why do you as a man look like that, but honestly why do you as a HUMAN BEING look like that? Why do you act like that? Why are you skipping around wearing a poorly made DIY toga? Whole nip is hanging out, and no one asked to see that. Why are you HOLDING HANDS with your blade? Freak. There is something so intrinsically, inherently, ONTOLOGICALLY wrong with him, you can't even blame it on childhood trauma or a personality disorder. The only time I ever supported Sukuna was when he bullied this emaciated Jo Jo Siwa lookin' thing in Shibuya.

Mahito: I hate him so much. I hate him more than I've ever hated any character. I actually lose the ability to speak coherently when I think about him because I hate him so much. I think it's so cringe when try-hard dudes say, "When I'm angry all I see is red." But when I think about Mahito it really is like blood and pure rage cloud my vision. He is literally the embodiment of if you gave an edge lord psychopathic eleven year old the power to kill people. "Wee, I'm so powerful and killing people is just SoooOoOoOoOOOo much fun!!" SHUT UP!!!!!!!! SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!! YOU ARE NOT FUNNY. YOU ARE NOT CUTE. YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL IN ANY WAY. He is genuinely the most irritating character I have ever come across. And as the story progresses, he just gets worse. What do you mean he can duplicate himself? Now we have to deal with TWO of this wretched creature? What do you mean he can be decapitated AND HIS HEAD WILL SPROUT LIMBS AND SPRINT AWAY? STOOOOOOOOOP. AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHAT HAPPENED TO NANAMI--I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT. Mahito is such a nasty, slithy, bothersome, despicable, nauseating little cockroach. "Yuji, you and I are the same." Huh? You thought you did something there, didn't you? You thought you ate and came up with some kind of deep, revolutionary concept? It's giving pretentious philosophy dude who thinks he's superior for being a little contrarian, nihilistic Nietzsche butt licker. When Yuji finally humbled him, I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed seeing the fear in his eyes. For one brief, fleeting moment, I could finally understand what sadists must feel like. Honestly, we deserved to watch him suffer, and I wish he would have suffered far more for far longer. Rot in anguish, Mahito. You will not be missed nor forgiven.

[heichou-ackerman]

Texting Levi fluff

Levi hates texting but he likes you. Another modern!AU which I am re-uploading since tumblr was stupid about it

TW: Some slight cussing but nothing MORE

It was rare for Levi to actually utilize his phone for  anything more than just make necessary calls, checking the weather, and keeping up to date with his monthly Tea Box subscription.

Lately, however, he found himself spending more time watching the bright screen on his phone, face scrunched up, as he began to understand the means of what it meant to actually meant to maintain consistent communication.

Unfortunately for him, you seemed to have a knack for coercing him to text you throughout the day no matter how busy he actually was with his actual work or with his own personal chores.

He both liked and hated this about you. Although your apparent clingy behavior was charming at best, it was a bit exhausting for the introverted man to keep up with some of your needs.

Like clockwork, your good morning texts would pop up at almost the exact same time every weekday (he actually began to depend on that more to wake up than his actual alarm). He learned the hard way you really had expectations of him texting you back and in maintaining a conversation with you from morning to night, at least during the days where you both were unable to see each other.

It was a pain in the ass.. Single word responses were insufficient to satisfy your need to drag out his opinion about a variety of things, ranging from your choice of lunch for the day and where he saw himself in ten years. He really didn’t understand why you valued his opinion so much about these things or why it was important for you to know.

>where do you see yourself in 10 years Levi? :)

> I dont know.

>Come on! Do you wanna live in a different city or something like that?

> I see myself being 10 years older

>You suck

He got a bit better over time, unaware of how he began to think a little more in depth about his responses to you. If he was curt and short, you would become upset at him. When it was something more of a slight flirtatious advance, his screen would be filled with heart emojis. He wouldn’t admit it but there was some satisfaction in seeing you reply eagerly to him. A curious feeling but not a bad one.

>cant wait to see your face on the weekend!

>you literally saw me yesterday

>so you dont wanna see me then?

>I didnt say that

>so you are excited to see me too :)

>I didnt say that either

>awe, getting tired of me already I see

>I told you Im not going to respond to anything stupid you say

>You just did! :D

>everything you say is stupid so Im at a loss

He wondered  if you acted this way with anyone else. He supposed, the way you tended to be, that you were equally as warm and inviting to most of your circle. Not to say, he wanted to have this particular ‘treatment’ for himself only, but it genuinely felt like you did dedicate most of the day to stay in touch with him as much as you could.

In the past, Levi would had found this overwhelming. He appreciated his friendships and relationships with others, but he was also someone who valued his privacy, and most people in his semi social circle understood this of him. He would be the type to hang out a Saturday evening and then would be completely out of reach for the rest of the month, which was minimal for him. He was unbothered for most of the time, which to be fair, is the way he preferred it.

Once you and him became an item however, there was a noted disruption in this rather, exclusive lifestyle of his. It wasn't awful but it was something he was not attuned to, so it made things feel awkward during some of these interactions.  Despite his standoffish demeanor and his lack of substance in some of his messages, you still kept at it. You didn't shy away from him or even become too upset when his responses seemed bland or cold. It seemed like you had an understanding of the type of person he was, but you still wanted to simply spend as much time in touch with him as possible. You genuinely craved for his attention and treated it as something important and precious.   And this simple fact made him like you so much. So, he would make an effort.

---

After a long day at his office job, Levi arrived home, throwing his belongings onto his couch, not caring much about things spilling out, and flopping onto his bed, a deep sigh coming out from his nose.   It was a shitty day at the office to say the least, which soured his mood for most of the day. As usual, you made attempts to message him throughout the work day, but he would be lying if he said there was a bare minimum effort at responding back to you. He knew you were probably peeved off at his lack of consistency for today, but he was far too exhausted to really explain himself about the matter.

He closed his eyes for a bit, feeling he might literally drift of to sleep still in his day clothes, when he felt the vibrations from his phone go off in his pocket. He groaned slightly, knowing only one person in the world would message him at such a time. He reached into his pocket to pull it out, squinting at the bright screen to see your name pop up with the following message:

> are you mad at me? :(

Jesus fucking Christ. He knew if he began to entertain the conversation (and no he wasn't mad at you), he would probably be up for another couple of hours trying to reassure you of this fact. He debated to leave it as it was for the sake of being able to go to sleep, but at the risk of you blowing up his phone the entire night.   "Goddammit." He muttered to himself. He sighed heavily, bracing for the worst as he gave into it and began to message you.

>no, long day at work

There, that should be sufficient, right?

Not even five seconds later, he saw those three dots appear, indicating you were messaging him back. He pictured you literally hunched over your phone like some gremlin, texting him rapidly.

>awe, im sorry to hear that. you home now?

Okay, not too bad. It seemed like you were considerate of his situation at the moment. He blinked forcefully, feeling his eyelids begin to droop as he stared at your response on his screen. No, he wouldn't be able to last long like this, he might as well just cut it short.

>yeah im home, super tired, need to sleep.

He hit the send button and set his phone down, allowing his eyes to droop shut, feeling the inbound sleep coming to him. He would literally be able to fall asleep and wake up in the same position the following morning, and for a couple of minutes, it felt as if this would be the case.

And then his phone begins to ring.

His eyes shoot out open as he become startled by his ringtone, and by nature, he immediately picks up the phone, being met with its bright screen.

It was you. Of course it was.

Levi rubbed his hand over his face, muttering curses at you and at the situation. It really didn't even fucking matter at this point if he tried ignoring you. He sighed heavily as he lazily answered, bringing you over to his ear.

"What." He muttered, not even as a question.

He could hear you slightly giggling over the other line, which made him kind of irritated. He told you how tired he was, we’re you really just fucking with him?

"Just wanted to check in to see if you're okay. But I can tell that you are super sleepy." He heard you on the other line.

"Yeah." He replied simply. "I told you I was."

"Sorry. You mentioned you had a hard day at work, I figured you wanted to talk about, buuuut I didn't think you'd be this tired. You usually stay up pretty late, even during your worst days."

Well, you weren't wrong about that. He would usually be a night owl most weekday evenings, entertaining your text shenanigans well off into midnight.

"I'm fine." He iterated, allowing his phone to fall next to his head, close enough to still hear you. He kept his eyes closed, still somewhat attentive to you. "Work was shit but I'm fine. Sleepy."

"Want me to tell you a bed time story?" You asked softly, jokingly of course.

"No. "

"Didn't think you'd want one. Want me to sing you a lullaby?"

"No, fucking weirdo."

“Kidding, kidding. Kinda sucks, but I’d be so down to just do that thing you like me to do to you. If I was there of course.”

He raised a slight eyebrow, eyes narrowing slightly towards his ceiling. “I literally don’t have the energy to talk nasty right now.”

“No!” You exclaimed. “Not that stupid. I meant like, that one night when I was playing with your hair and you fell asleep on my lap.” He hummed in consideration. “Ah, yeah. Maybe. That was nice.” It wasn’t too long ago, but it was another of those exhausting evenings for him, similar to this one. You mindlessly began to run your fingers through his hair, coaxing him to rest on your lap as you minded yourself on your phone. Your fingers were soft and it seemed like they knew exactly which parts of his scalp would respond the best. It was no secret he enjoyed your pampering from time to time, although he would never directly ask you for it. He would always hope you would initiate it however and it seemed as if you had an intuition of when he really needed. This being one of those times.

You chuckled softly on the other line. "Okay, okay, let me leave you be then sleepy head. Can I text you tomorrow then?"

Why the hell are you asking that?

You didn’t need his permission to do so, and its not like you ever asked him for it.

"Why are you asking that?" He asked you bluntly, his voice low.

You stayed quiet for a bit on the other line for a bit, and Levi could feel the hesitation from you.  "Don't know. Just wanted to be a bit considerate."

Considerate? Considerate of what?

He should really go to bed, he thought. But there was something weird about you right now.

"What's with you?" He continued to probe. "You're being weirder than usual."

"Gee, thanks." You respond dramatically. "But nothing is wrong, I just wanna be considerate of, your time lets say."

He sighed loudly enough for you to be able to hear him on the other line. "Okay, I'm too tired to be subtle about it. What's wrong? What did I do?”

" "Nothing Levi!" You exclaim with a laugh. "I just wanna be mindful of not bothering you too much during the day, especially when you got all this stuff to do at work. I realize I can be a little too demanding of your attention, but I also don't want you to feel obligated as well. Hence...why I asked if it was okay."

Yeah, he agreed in his mind that you were a little bit demanding at times with this, but you weren’t overtly intrusive about it. Plus, if he was actually bothered by it, what was stopping him from simply blocking your messages during his shift? He obviously didn't do it because he didn't think of it that way.

"Don't be stupid." He replied lowly. "Let's be real, you'd lose your shit if I didn't reply to you during the day. Regardless, I'm fine, it doesn't bother me."

"You sure?" You asked a bit skeptically. He could tell you were genuine about all of this, and even if you did like to be overtly clingy, he understood you were capable of understanding necessary boundaries about things. He would never admit it to you, but you were capable of making mature choices about things.

He kept thinking of that particular pout you'd make when you tried to be serious with him. He didn't know if you made it on purpose but it was a rather cute feature about you. He imagined you making that same face right now as you tried to see if he was actually okay with you. He felt a smile form on his face.

"I'm sure, you brat." He responded back. "I enjoy talking to you, it makes work a bit more bearable. So stop asking me for permission like some kid."

He could hear you hum rather approvingly on the other line. "Okie dokie then. But legit, go ahead at get some rest. I'll check in with you in the morning yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Good night, love you."

He grunted back to you as his response. Yeah, he was still like that about those words. It was hard for him to say it back to you without feeling the need to be swallowed whole by the entire earth. He did care deeply for you, without a doubt, but it was as if he physically couldn't utter those things to you. At least not yet, it was still a work in progress.

You hung up on him on your end, and Levi rolled over to his side, breathing in deeply. An image of you kept popping into his head, wondering how this conversation may have ended in person. He wondered what kind of stupid face you'd be making or how annoying you'd be with your necessity to touch and hold him. He imagined a situation where you'd get upset at him for swatting his hand away, unaware that he would do it on purpose just to rile you up and to encourage you to forcefully grab a hold of it. He felt a crooked smile form on his face as he recalled your goodbye to him, your soft voice lulling him in his head as he felt a need to share the same sentiment to you in some way.

He rolled over back in his original position, eyes slowly peering open as he grabbed his phone, slowly tapping on its screen, soon pressing send to you before finally drifting off to sleep.

>I love you too.