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a-b-riddle · 9 months ago

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A Simple (Mis) Understanding Chapter Two: Numbness & Pain

Daisy

I always used to think it was an exaggeration of how pregnancy is a constant state of exhaustion. But it was a lot of work growing a tiny human. Add in the fact that I'm still working 40 + hours a week and, of course, something is always causing some sort of discomfort or pain.

Swollen feet, back pain, nausea; I can't even find any solace in sleep. The 32 week mark felt so close, yet still so far. Another eight or so weeks of this seems like a drop in the bucket compared to how far along I am, but still. That still another two months. So far away when you want to be done, but still too short compared to everything I still have yet to do.

Another two months to set up a crib and wash her new clothes. Another two months to figure out a name and make decisions that I always envisioned making with a partner. Another two months of struggling to do things like picking up shit off the floor or staying on my feet long enough to make a decent meal.

But right now, I wasn't worried about the two months ahead of me and all the things I still have to do. Right now, I was looking forward to a three day undisturbed weekend. The pain in my feet and sciatica was becoming so bad, I had taken Friday off to see a doctor and spend the rest of the weekend doing nothing, but sitting in my modest little house and watching mind rotting television. I might even indulge in some spicy reading. Heaven knows its been too long.

Or at least, it hasn't been since them. That day in the office, but... that really didn't count. I often wrestled with myself about it. That one time erased any feelings I had for any of them. But I felt a bit pathetic how it now tainted every good memory I had with them. Kyle bringing me something to snack on when he realized I hadn't gone to the mess hall. Price always having a cup of earl grey tea cooling for me first thing in the morning. Two packs of zero calorie sweetner and a bit of honey.

Sweet like you.

I couldn't stand the smell of it now. I blamed it on the hormones. A lot of things made me queasy, but something about the smell of the bergamot, made me sick in a completely different way. A feeling not of nausea, but of... fear. Like the same way a pentagram could summon demons, earl grey could summon mine. As if John Price was somehow there any time the scent lingered in the air.

But he wasn't. None of them were. Fuck. Why did my thoughts always go back to them at some point? No. This was going to be a relaxing weekend god dammit. Fuck them.

Almost angrily, I hit the garage key fob, shutting the door and engulfing me into darkness; a thin line of light leaking through the bottom of the garage door. When I had opened my door, I could at least see a path to my mudroom. I grabbed my purse, ready to go in, when I felt it.

Hundreds of needles. Stabbing and digging into my feet. Not just the soles, but the entire fucking foot the moment I bared any weight on them. I pulled off my flats and it was then I noticed how angry they looked. Red and swollen and all but screaming at me to sit my fat ass back down. I wiggled my toes, trying to get some blood flow. Fuck. Why didn't they hurt while I was driving?

I manage to get onto my feet, using the car door as support. Steading myself until I was ready to take the first step. By the time I had managed to all but crawl inside, ten minutes had passed since my initial arrival time. I got off at 5:00, but usually didn't log off until almost 6:00. Granted, I work from home, but I had run out of a few essentials. Essentials now that were in the boot of my car.

Fuck.

10 minutes won't hurt. Not like there is any thing frozen. Speaking of which, I forgot my ice cream... dammit. I really need to start keeping a list on the fridge. It's hard to remember when pregnancy brain (or stomach) takes over and I slam a container in a single sitting.

Grabbing a pillow from the couch, I went to the kitchen. Which considering the town house, or terraced housing I suppose now, was perfect for a single and expecting Omega it was cozy. Not like the base where going from the common area to the chow hall was about a three minute stroll.

I get down and lay on my back. Carefully maneuvering so my ass rests against the cabinets before I hook the back of my heels unto the counter top so I could rest my feet a bit. Not the most sanitary, but it wasn't like I had guests. It was just me. For now.

It took a few moments to adjust. My back ached against the hardwood, but I could already feel the relief from my feet and legs. It wasn't all that shocking that I was having a hard time with them. I had gained a considerable amount of weight during my pregnancy. When I had brought it up to the OBGYN about possibly cutting back on food, her suggestion was to simply not weigh myself at home. Now when I went in for a visit they made me turn around before taking my weight.

It was hard. I've always had a problem with how I looked and now adding pregnancy then taking away the option to diet and exercise didn't exactly help.

I pulled out my phone and was preparing to open my kindle app when I saw a tiny red bar in the top right corner of my phone. Of course. I get nice and settled and my phone is on 2 fucking percent. Whatever. I tell Alexa to set an a timer for fifteen minutes and take a little nap. Maybe meditate.

A knock on the door quickly brings any possibility of relaxation to a pause. Margaret next door was dropping off Winnie off early to go to her book club. Margaret was a widow and a recent empty nester. She had spent her life as a mother and a homemaker. When I got custody of Winnie two months ago, she had quickly stepped up in helping me with everything from child rearing to managing my pregnancy.

"Hello, Maggie!" I greeted from the floor. "Hello, Winnie Darling." Winnie had the same sand colored hair as me and bright green eyes. Her face was a shade of red and I could smell her from the entryway. Someone would need a bath today. Fantastic.

"Oh, Dear!" Maggie fussed, setting Winnie down on her feet before coming over to me. "Are you alright?" Winnie didn't bother stopping to hug me like she normally would before making a beeline toward the potty. She usually was a creature of habit, but nature calls I suppose.

"Feet are a bit swollen." I waved off. "Just resting them a bit."

"I don't have to go tonight." She set her bag down. A deep green corduroy shoulder bag that always had just what you needed in it. A wet wipe, hand sanitizer, a spare tissue and even a stain pen when a spill happened at the most inconvenient time. "I'll stay and-"

"Maggie." I said, trying my best to sound at firm, but it was hard with her. No one told Maggie 'no'. "It's alright. Just a bit of water retention. Nothing to fret over." And it wasn't. I could already feel the pain from earlier subside.

"Really, it's no bother." She argued, bending over to unstrap one of her shoes. "It's a bloody stupid book anyway. I just go for the gossip really."

"Maggie." I tried again. "Really." "It's getting close to the due date and I don't want to burn out on me just yet." It was a lie. Even with her greying hair, a deepened laugh line, Maggie didn't burn out. She was one of the few Omegas I had met in my life and she could run circles around any of them, myself included.

The sound of flushing sounded from the bathroom followed by the faucet. She huffed before slipping her shoe back on. "If you insist."

"I do." I encouraged. As much as I loved having Maggie's help, I hated feeling like a burden. She had raised her children. It was time for her to do things for herself. "Besides, we'll see you tomorrow after my appointment tomorrow." The bathroom door clicked open, revealing my little Win with the front of her smock covered in water. Fantastic.

"Hi, Mommy." Winnie finally greeted. Her freshly washed hands dripping water droplets onto the hardwood. "What are you doing?"

"My feet hurt so I'm just letting them rest." I explained, looking up at her. Winnie was rambunctious as most four-year-olds without a sense of self preservation are, but when I explained to her how careful she had to be now that I had her sister in my belly, her nature had become more gentle.

It worried me as much as it warmed my heart.

"Why don't you sit on the couch?" She asked. Her head tilting to the side, face etched as if she were trying to figure out my reasoning.

"Because it helps when you lift your feet up high in the sky, Winnie Pooh." Maggie explained before looking back at me. "Well if you're sure-"

"I am. Go." I urged. "We'll see you tomorrow. Lunch around noon?" Spending time with Maggie didn't make me feel like such a parasite when I knew she enjoyed the company. Her children had all moved away, only one staying in the UK. She wasn't so alone, but neither was I.

"Wouldn't miss it." She gave a soft smile. The laugh lines around her face deepening. "See you tomorrow, Dearies." She said, retreating back outside. The soft sound of the door clicking behind her.

Winnie had laid down beside me. Yep. Definitely going to need a bath tonight. "How was school today?" Winnie went to a pre-school that was luckily covered under my insurance. Perks of being an Omega. I'll take it where and when I can.

She talked about going to the playground and painting. All the usual bits. Who she played with and new things she learned. Then came the question. A question she had asked before in passing. A subject I changed with ease before. 'Have you brushed your teeth? How about another episode of Bluey? Put on your trainers (because we can't just say tennis shoes anymore) and we'll go for a walk to the park. I had skirted around the question with ease.

"Why don't you have a mate if you have a baby?" Winnie was too young to get the answers to a lot of life's difficult questions. Why did Tiffany not like us? Why didn't she get to see her daddy anymore? Why did that man look at you weird on the train, mommy? I wish she would just stay this little. That she never needed or want to know the harsh truths about me, us.

"I..." I wracked my brain for an answer and just came up short. I couldn't think of a way to sugarcoat it. We almost had a mate. Mates. We almost had a pack that would have walked you to school on the mornings my feet were too sore or I was already running late. They would have loved you. "It... it's complicated, Darling." Is what I chose instead. The other worrisome fact is that Winnie was too young to understand the concept about mates. I had never broached the subject which only means she probably heard it from some little shithead at school.

Wonderful.

"I'll explain it when you're older." I promise, closing my eyes and letting her snuggle into the crook of my arm. "Do you wanna rest your eyes with me?"

"Like when I'm five?" She asks putting one of her hands underneath my shirt onto my belly. It had become a thing she had started since I told her about the baby.

"Maybe six." I said, looking down at her. She gave a yawn before closing her eyes.

"I think five is better."

"Okay, Win." I said. "When you're five we'll talk about it." It was a promise I hoped she would forget. But I didn't want to negotiate with a four-year-old about something future me could deal with. I wanted just 15 minutes of this. I order Alexa to set a timer to make sure we haven't dozed too far off. Winnie still needed to shower and eat. I still needed to get the groceries out of the car. But I could spare another 15 minutes.

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absolutebl · 2 months ago

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This Week in BL - Many Tiny Idiots, Some Irreverent Hotness & an Engagement

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Oct 2024 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Fourever You (Thai Thurs YT) ep 4 of 16 - OK so Hill has really been trying to pick him up from the beginning? I don’t understand why there’s any doubt around girls at all. He Gay everyone. Why is Tatch (2 Moons Ambassador) the only seme in Thai BL history allowed to actually just say "I don’t date women.”

Why is that so hard?

This show is definitely frustrating me, but I must admit that it’s the one I look forward to the most each week.

Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 6 of 15 - I am now only watching the uncut version, and I gotta say it makes all the difference. Please don’t watch the cut version of this show if you can possibly help it. It’s like cliff's notes of cliff's notes. I love the tiny side couple of tough kid + the dork of the music club. Ah the beach sequence. Condenced WAY DOWN, I see. We lost one of the most iconic lines in all BL but i think everything is improved by how much tighter the plot is in the remake (6 episodes became 1!). So I’m enjoying it. Weirdly, I'm not sure I would be enjoying it, if I hadn’t seen the original.

Is anyone watching this on iQIYI who hasn't seen the original? Just out of curiosity. Tell me how it's going for you, would ya?

I'm doing a face-off style watch along of this new version versus the original 2014-2015 version.

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 8 of 12 - I don’t entirely get it. They were apart for approximately 11 minutes. I would’ve thought GMMTV would’ve drawn it out for longer and more angst. Smiley face kiss was cute, but the star of this ep was that gorgeous pale blue waffle sweater on Q. What a great color for Leng!

Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 7 of 12 - I do like that we’re seeing an honest exploration of poverty and hopelessness. I’m not sure how I feel about it inside my BL, tho I’m willing to persavere for this pair.

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 12 end - Someone said recently "just imagine what TutorYim could do with an actual script." And you know what? I agree. Because they sure as shit haven’t gotten one yet. And it’s getting quite frustrating. I’m having JaFirst flashbacks. Frankly, 2024 has been a year of unmitigated BL nonsense narratives. And I’m tired of it. I know it’s bog standard for the genre, but it feels like there’s been more than normal faff this year.

Summary

An incredibly convoluted, disjointed, and badly-paced drama that is about(?) some writers writing a thing and some boys who knew each other when they were kids, lots of pretty sexy times, and not much else. The visuals are gorgeous, the side couples are overly appealing (with little to no screen time), the dubbing and sound is absurdly bad, and the fantasy novel (play within a play) makes no sense whatsoever while also managing to be the show that we all actually wanted to see instead of what we were given. 6/10

In conclusion, I have no interest in attempting to understand or revisit this show, and I certainly wouldn’t recommend it, but if you have nothing better to do…… the sex is good (frankly I have exes that satisfy all the same criteria). So there it is: this show is like a bad but still hot ex.

Every You Every Me (Thai Mon Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - Nice to see Fiat in something again. Namping is very angel baby. This episode made me think that this pair would do a great Thai remake of Love Tractor, and now that’s pretty much all I want in life. I enjoyed wardrobe in this episode. It looks like we get the same characters next week. Cool.

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) ep 6 of 10 - I guess everyone is messy slutty bisexual in this show? Do I care? Not even slightly. BLabies, I don’t think I’m gonna make it. I might have to drop this one.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga) ep 1-2 of 13 - I adore it, what a wonderful meet cute. I love a Taiwanese BL that starts with a gratuitous kidnapping, some chasing, and a bit of a fight sequence. We in OLD fashioned territory.

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 5 of ? - I continue to enjoy it very much.

My Damn Business (Korea Sat YT) eps 4 of 7 - Oh! Is the sleazy boss gonna turn out to be actually a sleazy player? That would be an interesting twist.

Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (Korea Thurs Gaga) eps 3 of 8 - I’m really not a big fan of my pain coming from Korea. I’m getting a whiff of To My Star 2 from this one. And that does not make me happy. I know: high quality high angst yada yada blah blah blah. But also unnecessary pain? No thank you.

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) ep 12 end - Of course, I love the part where Reese and Orca spoke each other’s languages.

Conclusion

Had this been produced a mere 3 or 4 years ago, I would’ve been quite enamored. But by comparison to what we’ve been getting, this is a lackluster offering. A has-been musician and a much younger composer meet, fall in love, and attempt to rectify his stalled musical career. Cute side couple of a Thai popstar + his Korean manager. Everyone is very fine and it was a fine show. I wasn’t disappointed, but I wasn’t impressed either. 8/10

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 6 of 10 eps - It was a fun little confession and climax, there was crying, and a bridge kiss (been a while) all of this appeals to me even if they are tiny idiots (in the immortal words of @heretherebedork )

Eccentric Romance (Korea Weds Viki) eps 5-6 of 12 - More tiny idiot boyfriends who don’t realize they’re boyfriends. That’s it, that’s all that’s happening. Ostensibly there’s some kind of murder. But it seems to be acting more like set dressing than plot.

It's airing but...

The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) 10 eps - Supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger). A man is hired to write an article about an old mansion. He sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, falls in love with one of them. Was substantially recast. I loved IFYLITA except the ending so I think I'll let this one run it's course you can tell me if it's work tracking down... if they managed to land it. I have my doubts.

In case you missed it

Mew & Tul legit engaged.

Love in the Big City (Korea Viki) 8ep - Vicki dropped them all at once which means I did what I do under such circumstances and skipped to watch the final episode. (I am well aware that this makes me a monster. ) Anygay, that told me that I’m not gonna be bothering to watch the series. Now y'all can tell me how amazing it is and what I’ve missed and blah blah blah. But I’m comfortable with my choice. It’s ICRY 2.0 + HIV. And I’m not willing to play its literatti game. At some point I might watch it on fast-forward for the sex scenes, but I’m not at that point yet.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Still Coming:

10/27 Perfect 10 Liners (Thai Sun YouTube?) 24 eps! - New directing yet another university BL with engineers + their mentees. Based on a Jittirain novel. with a massive cast and massive run time. We will be watching this until APRIL of 2025!

ForceBook playing the same old characters = enemies to lovers tsunder/sunshine jock/nerd thing.

PerthChimonSanta are doing the cohabitation cool guy/dork trope.

JuniorMark are doing popular sunshine meets lonely sad boy (the only interesting pair IMHO).

I think Blue Canvas of Youthful Days has started on iQIYI but I only get it on Viki and that doesn't drop for a few days, plus...... CBL......? Not sure I'll report on this one unless it's really good.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

From Uncle Unknown which is truly terrible but this was so SO funny. I'm still chuckling when I think about it.

The first representation of shipping in a BL that I actually enjoyed. Also Dat's clear approval of being shipped didn't hurt. (Judge)

(lask week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.

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jillsandwhichs · 4 months ago

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Husbandly Duties

Chapter 3 to Joel Miller x Reader Smutshot Collection

Masterlist

Pairing: F!Reader x Joel Miller

Summary: It is yours and Joel's 3rd year wedding anniversary and he makes sure it is spent well

Status of your guy's relationship in this one shot: Married

WC: 5.7k

Type: NSFW

Warnings: Making out, Dirty talk, Slight foreplay, P in V, No protection, Joel cums inside of you, Missionary, Choking, Spitting kink, Joel is soft but not too soft, Clit rubbing & possibly more

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Comments, reblogs & likes are appreciated. Thank you

Work, work, work and more work. This damn job is draining your mental health. You love being an office worker, sure, you get a lot of free time and the work you do isn't hard, at all, but it is so time consuming and insanely boring. You'd kill someone if it meant you could have a normal schedule and go home at a decent time. You miss your old job, it was crappy, but the schedule was great and you got to go home at the same exact time, every single day you worked there.

It is 8:00 PM already and you've been working since 10:30 AM, it's been a terribly long day.

What makes it a billion times worse is the fact it is your and Joels three year anniversary. In total, you've been together for five years, but you guys got married three years ago, it was a wonderful day filled with love and gleam. You miss it and you remember it like it was yesterday. Your dress was long and beautiful, you looked gorgeous. Joel was dashing that day, he is everyday of course, but that particular day he was perfect.

The day was beautiful too. August 13th 2012, your most favorite day. But with your luck, you had to work and Joel did not. You wish you could be home with him at this very moment, having a tasty dinner with him while watching a movie, then afterwards he rearranges your guts...

You've been day dreaming of that today, honestly. You've been horny, ovulation isn't for the weak. You've been craving your husband all fucking day. You'd do anything to be with him right now, you truly would.

Aside from that, you have to focus. You're on your final document, the more you concentrate, the faster it'll get done. Joel is going to pick you up from work, so that's something to look forward too and you can't wait to see him. You can't wait to be beside him again. You want to touch him, and kiss him, hug him, everything. You just miss your husband, so very much. It is definitely a mix of your clinginess, ovulation & sadness.

Alas, you began to transfer all your brain and will power into your work, the sooner, the absolute better.

Finally! You're finished. The first thing you did was whip out your phone to text your husband, hopefully the dummy didn't fall asleep. You know his job is also tough on him, he's a contractor, it is very hands on work and it's understandable that he is exhausted more than the average person. You began to type out your message until you officially finished it, then you sent it to him.

"Handsome, I finished working. Come get me. Love you."

You were so ready to be home.

Whenever you have to wait for Joel, you just relax in your office either on your phone or your computer. Luckily, despite this being a plain Jane office job, you have your very own office. It's designed to your liking. When you got it officially, Joel helped you decorate it; He's genuinely a life saver. One time, when he came to pick you up, he came up to your office to help you carry some things down... He ended up having to carry you as well due to your legs being way too wobbly...

You turned your computer off and slightly reorganized your desk top. When you come into work tomorrow, you don't want it to look the same as it does now. This is like a ritual at this point, cleaning up your work space daily. It's a great habit to have. You set your pens and pencils back into their case and you set your mouse pad back in its original position, placing the wireless black mouse on top of it. You made sure your personal spaces looked spotless and your desk was no exception.

Your phone buzzed on the white desk top, Joel messaged you. He never texts back too late. The longest you can recall was twenty minutes and that is because he was working. He's truly a wonder, no man you've met was willing to do such a thing, answering quickly. Your ex prioritized his games over you, it was exhausting but now, you have yourself a real man - Joel.

His message read:

"Alright sweetheart, on my way. I love you too."

The message made your heart melt.

Joel is such a sweet man. He's rough on the edges and cold at times, but he's your baby at the end of the day. You see sides of him that no one else does. His brother, Tommy, when you first met him described him as an asshole but once you got to know him, your perception totally changed. You are grateful for Tommy though, he introduced you to Joel. Without him, who knows where you would have ended up or whom you'd end up with.

Once you two started dating, you had asked Joel what he thought of you when he met you and his response was touching.

"I saw you and knew one day, we'd end up like this. How we are now, I just knew it after getting to know you little by little."

He even repeated those very words in his vows to you on your guy's Wedding day.

Oh how you miss that day - The amount of love and faith passed around that day was joyous. Now, today you get to celebrate it all over again, a tradition you are more than okay with uplifting. Last year, you put on your Wedding dress, Joel his suit, and you two danced around your living room. The little moments like that are precious and sacred. You don't plan to do that this year, you'd rather go home and eat something, but it is a sweet subject.

You found yourself biting on the end of your pen as you thought about him and all the two of you have been through. You're like a school girl who gets her very first crush. You're obsessed with Joel, you'll admit it. It isn't a bad thing, not at all. You're happy to be with a guy who has you all over him. If you weren't, it wouldn't be a very passionate and fulfilling relationship, now would it?

"Gosh." You giggled to yourself, dropping the pen into its case. You stood up and double checked your office - Everything is in check. You, unfortunately, do work tomorrow so you want this office to be pristine when you come back. You may be bored and spent, but you aren't those enough to put yourself through hell tomorrow morning. But, everything seemed well enough.

You decided you'd wait outside for him to arrive. There are benches surrounding the front of the large, industrial building that you could wait on. Usually, you stay in your office and await a message from him but the sooner you're out there, the absolute better.

With your phone, drink and purse in hand(s), you made way out of the office building. The company you work for primarily focuses on having customers purchase things you sell; You work in the department for selling goods such as food, clothes and more. Other departments include things such as outside work and children's toys and wear. This section has always worked best for you and it's HQ is massive, you've always felt important walking into and out of the establishment.

Your office was set on the third floor and you couldn't complain, others were in the sixth or seventh. All you have to do is use the elevator and leave. You won't lie, sometimes you're a bit nervous doing this, in fear of the wrong person being outside when you are as well. You shoved those scary thoughts to the side, wanting to focus on the good and the possibility of greatness.

Exiting your office, you saw one of your coworkers, Leroy, leaving his office too. "Hi." "Hey stranger, you heading out?" "I am. Joel is picking me up." "Good to hear, once again, happy anniversary to the two of you." "Thanks Lee, we seriously appreciate that." Leroy was always a kind soul. He's an older man, he's wise and witty, you've always enjoyed that about him. Joel has always been a bit sketchy about the men you endorse yourself with but Leroys never bothered him. In fact, they've spoken a good few times.

"You leaving as well?" "I sure am, I also won't be here tomorrow." "Why's that?" "My sons wife is having my grandchild tomorrow, I can't wait to meet the little one." Leroy expressed great love for his children and grandchildren. He has three kids, two sons and a daughter. He also has four grandkids, three from his son and this upcoming one from his second son. From the pictures you've seen, they're so stinking cute! "That's amazing Leroy, congratulations." You are happy for both him and the parents. Such a blessing.

Kids was never a topic you and Joel much discussed. You want them someday for sure, but not yet, you want to wait maybe another year or two. Joel is great with children from what you have seen. When he met your younger siblings, he was so gentle with them, even sat down and played with them. Moments like those make you want to have babies sooner but you must wait, it isn't the time... Yet...

The elevator began to desend both you and Leroy down it and onto the first floor where the exit was.

When it opened, you stepped out of it alongside him. The two receptionists said bye to you both.

"I'll see you soon Leroy, have a good time meeting your grandbaby." You said to him with a friendly voice. "I sure will, take care!" Leroy shouted as he got into his truck and drove off into the moonlight.

You were all alone. You sat down on the wooden bench near the entrance of the establishment and waited there. The drive from your home to your work isn't all too bad, maybe ten minutes at the most but Joel tends to speed on the back roads and that gets him here much sooner than normally. You couldn't wait to arrive at home. Something different about you is the smell of places, they bring you different feelings and senses.

At work, you feel normal, just fine & content. The way the atmosphere is at work is boring, you don't have much fun there ever and you truly only like it for its isolation purposes and it's amazing pay. Home smells like Joel, who is your comfort and your joy. At home, you can let loose and be your honest self - Your best version. You have transferred your home into what was once a regular, janky house into a safe space for you and your husband to gladly share.

If you and Joel do have children someday, they'll surely be smothered in affection.

Gazing up at the countless stars in the sky, you tried to pass the time. It felt like ages before Joel actually arrived. You are also just utterly impaitent, you want to be home now. "Ugh." You groaned out, tossing your head back on the bench, a pouty look forming on your face; You texted him.

"Handsome, hurry, I miss you."

That'll get him speeding.

Joel is a smart guy, he is safe but also risky all at once. You worry for him, of course you do, but you trust him with your life. You practically trust him with anything. If he had to perform a transfusion on you, honestly, you'd let him. Joel is your lover and you love him more than he could ever imagine. Some may find it questionable, how much you have faith in him, but you don't at all, it's just how it is when you're in a relationship like your very own.

A buzz came from your phone whilst you were roaming the never ending thoughts that spiral in your head.

"Just entered town baby, now you be a patient girl and wait."

That got you wet, bingo.

Joel being strict has always had you in a chokehold.

"Fine."

And send.

That very recognizable black, lifted truck pulled into the parking lot. It's headlights were shining brighter than a diamond as they came through. Joel tinted them, the beam of them dimming as he parked and got out of the truck. He looked as good as ever, your handsome husband. He didn't park too far from the building either, it'd be only a couple seconds to walk to it but Joel is too much of a gentleman to let you amble there alone.

"Hey babygirl." Joel said in his deep, Southern voice as he spotted you. "Hi honey." You stood up, running up to him and jumping into his burly arms. Joel accepted your hug with open arms, a chuckle emitting from him as he held you. "Ya miss me baby?" He squeezed you, kissing the side of your head and getting a whiff of your fruity scented hair - He loves it. "So much." "I missed you too." Joel gruffly mumbled against your neck, pressing kisses to it.

The hug was long and loving. You missed him very much, especially his touch. Your guy's anniversary means the world to you and him, you didn't want to waste anymore time.

"Take me home." You laughed, still being held by him. "Sure thing darlin'." He replied, not putting you down but instead carrying you to the truck. You do have a personal vehicle but it is in the shop right now, so Joel has been driving you to and from work. Even when you do have your car, he'll drive you sometimes just for extra time. It's sweet, truly. Joel opened the passenger side door, the truck light turning back on when he did. The truck smelt great, he must've inputted a new air freshener. "Get in baby." He patted your ass as you got into the truck.

You scoffed playfully, sitting down and buckling in. The smell was actually amazing; The scent was earthy and woodsy - It's definitely Joel's vibe. He then got in after you, an audible grunt being heard from him as he sat down. You couldn't help but smile and admire him. He is wearing a stained blue t shirt with faded blue jeans, it appears to be casual clothes, or his work clothes. He didn't have to work today, yet you did, kind of bullshit.

He started the truck up and began to drive you two home.

"Leroy is having another grandbaby." You started up a conversation. "Is that so? Well, good for him then." Joel responded. He didn't know Leroy as well as you. "Yeah, thought it was cool, the baby being born around our anniversary." You giggled, leaning against the center console and looking at Joel. "Sure. And by the way, happy anniversary baby." Joel added on. He didn't forget, you know that, you two exchanged some kisses and cuddles this morning in honor of it. "I'm sorry you had to work today, on our special day." Joel concluded.

He's such a sweetheart.

"It isn't your fault, honey, it's not really anyones." You commented, taking his free hand in yours. Joel glanced over at you and gave you a hearty smile, knowing how much today meant to you. "I have a surprise for you at home." "You do, what is it?" "Now doll, if I told ya, that wouldn't be much of a surprise now would it?" Joel chuckled, bringing your soft, small hand up to his face and kissing it gently. "Well, you already revealed there's a surprise at home for me." "I did." "So... Wouldn't that mean it isn't much of a surprise?" "Can you just be quiet, my dear?" He teased you, his corners creasing as he bellowed.

Oh that smile and the way his eyes change as he laughs, it warms your big heart. You love seeing Joel happy and well, it makes you feel out of this world. "I love you." "I love you sweetheart." He replied, putting your hand down and instead moving his hand to your thigh. You let out a soft sigh, enjoying his touch. Although, usually whenever he grabs your thigh, it turns into something much more but you won't complain.

You rested your head against the window, looking out at the night sky. It was pretty. Your Wedding night was gorgeous too. It rained that day though, you love the rain but surely not on your Wedding day. You kind of, in a way, hoped it would rain tonight. It would be something special to you. When it was raining that night, you and Joel kissed passionately under the dazzling moonlight, embracing each other as you did. It was so memorable and you often catch yourself thinking about it.

Also, you were very curious as to what the upcoming surprise Joel has for you is. It could be anything. It's obviously for your anniversary, so it has to be wonderful, right? Anything Joel does for you isn't taken lightly, you love it all and cherish it equally. He puts in the effort and that is what matters most to you. You'd just have to wait the car ride out to see what it was.

Joel's hand still rested on your thigh and he'd squeeze it every so often, making you more and more wet. It's not shocking - Joel's touch has always been able to do that to you. You couldn't wait to get home with him, maybe he'd let you have him tonight.

Sometimes he's just too tired and that is understandable, he's a contractor after all, a busy man, you'd never ever pressure him into something he isn't in the mood for. But hopefully, he's in the mood tonight.

Pulling into the driveway of your guy's shared suburban home, Joel released a grunt as he parked his truck directly in front of the garage; To him, it was pointless to waste time driving it into it. He took his keys out of the ignition and gave you a quick look of 'C'mon' before he then opened his door, hopping out of the truck. You did the same. As you climbed out of the truck, you saw Joel waiting at the front porch for you. Such a silly man.

You shut the door and ran up to him, a contagious giggle came from you. You were excited, curious on what this socalled surprise was going to end up being. "I'm going to need you to close your eyes." Joel said softly, his hands going to your hips as he caressed them; He plans to hold you as you walk, just for safety measures. "Okay..." You hesitated but closed them shut & tightly, truly not wanting to ruin the surprise at all.

"Alright..." Joel spoke out with his deep, gruff voice. He opened the front door and began to lead you through the house and up to your guy's bedroom. You knew that's where you two were headed considering he had to literally carry you up the stairs. "I'm nervous." "Don't be sweetheart." He kissed your cheek and set you down as you reached the top.

The sound of him opening the bedroom door was heard loud and clear and afterwards, he ushered you into the room. Already, it smelt lovely, like roses. "Mmm, the smell." "Glad you like it, doll." Joel hummed, his hands now going over each eye. "Now, babygirl, you ready?" "Yes, I am." You snorted, your arms resting at your sides. "Ok." Joel laughed, removing his hands and allowing you to finally see what he had done for you and oh, it was magnificent.

All across the bed were rose petals, scattered neatly. The lights were dimmed, causing the atmosphere to seem very sensual. There was also a tiny, red box on the bed that you didn't pick up immediately, but once you did, you took a quick scan of the rest of the room. It was fully cleaned, he actually cleaned for once. The bed was even wonderfully made, for now... On your guy's dresser were lit candles, and that snapped you out of reality.

"You dumbass, did you leave candles lit when you came to get me?" "Hon, it was a sacrifice I was willin' to make." You scoffed. This man sometimes... Although, you couldn't help but titter and the laughter only increased once you opened up the red box. You were surprised, that's for damn sure, but also super happy. Inside was the morning after pill and instantly, you knew what he was implying. "Jesus Christ." You began to laugh hard, too hard, to the point you flopped onto the bed.

Seeing you lose it, also caused Joel too.

"Gosh baby, this is just-" You laughed so hard, you couldn't breath and Joel had to calm you down.

"Alright sweetheart, breathe." He snickered, cupping your face in his larger sized hands. You let out a deep breath, trying to collect yourself but it was hard. This man went out of his way to buy an expensive ass pill just to be able to cum inside of you, such a jack rabbit. "Okay, okay, I'm good." You sat up and rested our head against his lap. "Joel Miller, you're such a funny man." "And Mrs. Miller, you're such a beautiful woman and I'd like you to let me show you just how much I love you tonight." Oh his words...

You sat up, climbing into his lap as fast as you could. You were so happy he was down for this, especially on a night like this one. You encased your arms around his neck as you pulled him in for a deep, long & passionate kiss. Joel's arms went around your back, pulling you as close to him as he could. He longed for this, all damn day and so did you. Your guy's lips moved in a sloppy manner as you made out, just wanting each other ASAP and not being able to remove your hands from one another.

He gripped your ass, grinding you against his lap as he held you. Your pussy only got more wet by the second, each push & each pull made you yearn for him badly. "Joel..." "I know baby." He huffed, going back to kissing you with love. You held onto his scruffy face, your nails scratching lightly against his beard, enjoying how manly he was. His lips felt so heavenly against yours, his have always been the perfect match. Your guy's lips were like puzzle pieces that were finally able to connect.

"Mmm, here." You suddenly pulled from the kiss and began to unbutton your work shirt with the help of Joel's needy hands. He speedily removed it, tossing it to the floor and his singular hand snapping your bra off; You two were getting into it immediately. Joel brought his head down to your breast, suckling on your nipple and in his other hand, fondling the breast beside it. "Oh!" You moaned, tossing your hand back as your fingers roamed through his shaggy hair.

Joel has a huge thing for your tits, he thinks they're perfect.

"My girls." Joel rumbled out, kissing your tits numerous times whilst rubbing them. You giggled as you watched him, he was like a kid with their prized possession. He went back to suckling on them, both of his hands holding your lower back now. You held his head in your hands, practically babying him as he licked your nipples and kissed your breasts. "You're so sexy." You whispered, kissing the top of his head.

Your husband looked up at you, desperation full in his eyes. It is so clear he craves you just as you crave him. He kissed you gently as he flipped you onto the bed, a cute chuckle releasing from you as he did. He laughed as well, seeing you all giddy was always sure to do the same to him. He crawled on top of you, his hands going to the end of his blue shirt, pulling it off with a smile whilst he gazed at you. "Are we just going to fuck with all these rose petals on the bed?" "Adds to it darlin', don't ya think?" He teased, going down to your neck and biting it.

You tittered, holding onto him as he marked his territory all along your neck. "Mmm, need you inside of me." You whined with a giggle. You seriously needed your husband at this point, you needed his member. "Oh, is that so?" "Mhm." You mumbled, looking up at him with soft, doe-like eyes. "Alright babygirl." Joel laughed, leaning up so he'd be on his knees.

His hands went to your waist, his hands fidgeting with the buttons of your tight, formal jeans. You were required to dress nicely, not casual, each day to work. You usually wore a blouse and jeans, which is exactly what you wore today. "Damn fuckin' jeans." Joel grumbled, unbuttoning all three of the tabs before practically ripping them off of you. You squealed, now only in your panties. Joel smirked, the sight of you absolutely jaw dropping.

"You're so fuckin' beautiful sweetheart." Joel praised you, your wetness increased when he did. You lifted your waist up, a groan coming from you whilst you did. You pulled down your underwear and handed them to Joel, expecting that he'd toss them to the side as always but instead, he balled them up and sniffed them, his brown eyes closing as he embraced your scent. "Lord..." Joel hummed, stuffing the panties into his pocket real quick.

"Babe!" You scoffed while giggling, "You never do that." "Can't help myself, you smell good." He responded; He can be so cocky sometimes.

You stared as he removed his jeans. His erect cock flung out from his tight boxers, his pre-cum visible due to the light in the room. You sighed softly as he climbed back on top of you. You held your legs up, knowing he'd eventually place them on his shoulders for more support... And so that he can go deeper inside of you, but that's beside the point.

He adjusted himself into a position that was comfortable for the both of you. Joel was not selfish, especially during love making. He put you before himself, making sure you always feel pleased and for fucking sure making sure you cum first, always. You can't even recall a time he came before you because he's always too worried about your please - Not an issue to you though. "Can't wait to feel ya." Joel mumbled, grabbing his dick and lining it up to your soaked entrance.

You accepted him, accepted every part of him and waited patiently for him to move inside of you.

The tip of his cock teased your entrance as he so slowly pushed himself inside of you. Inch after inch, you couldn't quite make a call as to when he'd stop until a few seconds later. A whopping 7 inches wasn't something to scoff at. "Oh baby." You whimpered, your arms wrapped around his torso and on his upper back. Your hands were flat on it, the heat emitting from his back absorbed onto your hand, bringing a heated feeling to your own body. "So fuckin' tight baby, you feel great." Joel muttered as he stopped himself inside of you.

He gave you a moment to adjust and get used to him. It was not common for you two to fuck without a condom, so it felt different, it felt better. You gave him a nod, letting him know you were ready and that he could move. "Alright baby, tell me to stop if needed." He was always so respectful. Ever since the first time you two had sex, he's been this way, it never changed no matter how comfortable you two got with one another. "Mhm." You nodded, your eyebrows scrunching as he began to slide in & out of your core.

Each movement felt wonderful. He was so careful, making sure you didn't get hurt by his upcoming roughness. Joel is a softie at heart, mainly with you. No matter the circumstances, you come first. "You're squeezin' me, fuck." Joel laughed, his forehead pressed against yours as he fucked your cunt, making you drip onto him. "Oh yes." You moaned, your hands quickly moving to his forearms for better stability. Your nails dug into them, your lip also digging into your lower one. "That'a girl." Joel chuckled, his speed increasing every so slightly.

You couldn't keep your eyes off of him and his body. He's so perfect, in every way, shape and form. You love this man to death. His cock stroked your walls beautifully, each push and pull earning a quiet whimper out of you. You held him close, the warmth of his body only enhancing the experience of this shared love making. "Fuck sweetheart." He grunted into your ear, his breath hot, it was sexy. "What?" You whined out, holding onto his head still. "I feel like I'm gon' cum already." You loved how he spoke to you.

He lifted himself up from the crook of your neck, his eyes on yours as he grinned at you. His pace began to quicken and the force of his hips increased in roughness, you didn't mind, you only embraced it. "Harder Joel." You panted, touching him all over. "Mmm, you're so pretty, such a pretty little sweet thing." Your husband groaned out to you.

The sounds of his manhood slamming against your womanly hood was loud and so lewd. It was very erotic and attractive in a way. The room smelt like floral and sex, two of your favorite things. You could smell the faded cologne on Joel too, your favorite scent he owns. You had on his favorite perfume, hopefully he took notice of that. "Can't wait to cum so deep inside of this pretty little pussy of yours." Joel managed to speak out, clearly so indulged inside of you. The pleasure was taking over him and you assumed this would be the first time he finished first.

As he gawked at you, you whimpered out a squeak as he began to choke you. Of course, it didn't hurt, he was like a gentle giant, making sure it was just a light grip. One hand held both of your wrists down against the bed whereas the other held your pale, little neck. "Just keep starin' at me, I wanna look into those soft eyes as I cum in you." His way of dirty talking was relentless and always brought you closer to the damn edge.

By the look on his face, you could so easily tell what he wanted to do next and he wouldn't have to ask you twice.

"Open that mouth babygirl."

The words made your stomach twist in the most pleasurable, divine way imaginable.

You opened your mouth up for him, a whine releasing from deep inside you as the hold on your neck tightened, along with his pumps becoming more sloppy and reckless. He spit in your mouth, his white salvia dripping into your pretty, pink mouth. He watched, glory in his eyes. This was something Joel was really into and when he had first brought it up to you, you were totally irked by it.

"Uhm, no baby, that's gross." "Give it a shot baby."

And you did, you never regretted it.

You swallowed his spit, your eyes watering as you did, not because you were grossed out or anything but because you were so fucking close to the edge, you could taste it. "Atta girl." He unpinned your wrists now, his free hand going down to your clit; He could tell you needed to cum now.

Gazing into his eyes, your eyes were filled with desire and lust, you longed for him all day and finally, he was giving you exactly what you wanted. His chokehold only brought you more pleasure as his fingers worked their magnificent magic on your nub. "Cum baby." He purred to you, his chokehold now moving into a caressing of your cheek. You couldn't cum yet, you wanted to hold back as long as you could but he wouldn't let up. Rubbing you faster, he said, "Hon, you gotta cum or else I'll finish first." He spoke so sternly, it was the tone you needed.

All around his dick, you came, your back arching. Joel shushed you lovingly as he held you close, still pumping himself into you. "Mmm, such a good girl, you did well." He praised you, his face buried in your hair. He embraced you so sweetly. You could feel him deep inside of you still, the sensitivity heightening, over stimulation occuring. "Please cum." You whispered, wanting him to just finish. "Kiss me then." Joel grunted, smashing his lips against yours. You cupped his face and licked his lower lip, your tongue swirling inside of his mouth now.

With a few more thrusts, Joel came deep inside of you. You could feel his warm seed shooting through you like a fish in water. You moaned loudly, loud enough for Joel's eyes to widen, then for a chuckle to come out afterwards. "Dear God." You sighed softly, coming down from your high and from the feeling of him - He recovered rather hastely.

Joel pulled out of you and grabbed a random T shirt of his, cleaning the two of you up with it.

"You best not wear that after you just wiped us off." "Imma wear it." Joel shut down your statement, you opened your mouth in disgust, but deep down it was pretty hot of him.

"Anywho, happy anniversary doll." Joel grunted, plopping down beside you and pulling you closer towards him. "Happy anniversary, Joel." You kissed his nose and soon, the tired man was out like a bulb.

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller smut #joel miller smutshot #pedro pascal #pedro pascal smut #the last of us #tumblr fyp

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drawlody · 8 months ago

Text

My list of Adam ships♡ n my opinion bout them (also fics rec :D)

Adam x Luicfer (Adamsapple/Duitarduck) 10/10

Need i say more:)))??!?! started out as a "haha funny slip-up ship" to "hey they got really good angst potential". The friends/lovers to enemies to lovers is STRONG with this one n i am eating up everything i could found on ao3. Smth bout this macho-ass man finally getting to stay back n not take charge for once feel nice, also princess Adam supermacy wooooo. Whoever came up with the ship name i applaud u cause that's like a 3 layers name(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

It's not an Adamsapple fic without Adam having at least 1 mental breakdown n Lucifer have his guilt eating him alive:)))

Very fucked up torture but i swear it worth the pain:D The dove is so dead it start to rot so plz read the tags properly (plz check out the AngeliaDark other works too they got good shit)

This one have a splits so check out both the fics (beware the author have a skrewed sense of what is considered wholesome:))))

I didnt think a smut scene could be this sad

Adam x Lute (Guitarspear/Guardrock) 10/10

Litteraly my first Hazbin ship, assholes in love is an underrated dynamic we desperately need more off:))) That with a dash of evil dude x loyal subordinate (which i havent seen since the Deathglare days) n opposite attract (look they have one main thing in common is that their extreme bloodthirst, other than that she's stricter than ur mom n he's lazier than the Sloth ring itself but that the beauty of it no? He convince her to chill tf out n not to burst a blood vessel, she keep him on track n make sure Sera dont come on their asses)

They're just being silly enabling each other terrible behaviour n i love that for them (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) Litteral besties i tell ya

Heavy non-con shit involving Val but Lute will revenge our boi i promised u that

Cool idea n they r just made for each other damn

First hazbin fic i read which is a really cool smut:D

Adam x Micheal (we need a ship name people ) (update: it's Songbird/Guitarhero) 10/10

I like how we dont even got a proper comfirmation of Micheal design/personality yet the ship is here already ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ( im using the Nakariiale's design as a base here love their design)

Hit me with that rebound love x "u look like my ex so im using u as a replacement but ill fall for the real u eventually" x co-workers in heaven. I'm thinking smth along the line of "after Lucifer fucked off with Lilith, Micheal became Adam guardian angel n they just hang out" ya feel me here? (✿◕‿◕✿)

Shout out to Bloog_b for dragging me into this ship:DDD also im on the Adam x the archangels ship as a "gotcha" to Lucifer of sort. Like bitch u stole my wives imma steal your brotherS

Look it's Adamsapple endgame but trust me u will be feed well on this ( u know how good u gotta be for people to ditch the main ship?)

I'm giving yall 4 fics here cause i can only found 4 rn(._. )

this one is uhh non-con so beware

Micheal is indeed Adam guardian angel in this one:D

Adam x Eve (Flowertunes) 8/10

I dont care what yall said they love each other throughout Eden n Earth , might have a falling out in heaven but that doesnt change the fact that they were once IN LOVE. Honestly why cant we just have a couple that have the same bright-eyed innocence like one another.I refuse to believe Eve like willingly cheat on Adam with malicious intent n all, simply she was indeed ''tricked'' or just not fully understand the sistuation, n Adam love her way too much to think that she would do that to him like Lilith. Hell the dude was heartbroken after L left , starting the abandonment issues, so he would have cling to Eve, doing everything so that he aint alone again, even if that mean leaving Eden

Honestly it pisses me off that the Adam/Eve tag on ao3 most of the time is just 1 dialouge between them back when Eve bit the apple n thats it no elaboration on the couple whatsoever >:(((

Lots of switcharoos

sinner eve woooo

look its hard trynna find a fic focusing on them ok?

Adam x St. Peter (Guitargreeter (bet ya didnt see that coming:))) 7/10

Base on this fanfic alone Joe my dude u r on the path of becoming THE Adam crack-ship writer n i am here for this:)))) just so u wait this dude gonna whip out a AdamxNifty , AdamxHusk fic later on ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

From within the fic itself the ship its 2 bros in love with homophobia standing in the way >:( also when did we have a name?!?!?!?

I just like Adam x anyone in heaven alright:D like bro famous n he got that ancient rizz, u telling mr he cant bag a hottie or 2-100+ hmm?

Adam x Alastor (Angelicradio) 8/10

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ABOUT THEM THAT I SHIP I JUST DO φ(゜▽゜*)♪ i blame YOU honestly rn this ship is either Adam found Al after the fight n they make a deal or they're in heaven n they chillin this ship is confusing:D

They're angels on heaven

Adam gone back into eden n do shit differently

This is both Adam/Eve n Adam/Alastor kinda

Adam x Alastor x Lucifer (Angelicradioapple/ Charlie's dads (only me call them that lol)) 9/10

''Hey Charlie u know how u r sad that your mother left? Wellllllll i got you 2 new dads suprise:DDDD''

Look 3 miserable men who hate each other + hell's greatest dad + my love for Dadam = Messy ass old men yaoi :DDDD n it work perfectly with Alastor Asexuality too!!! Like Adam n Lucifer could fuck each other brains out before Al joining in for the cuddles lol

Chaos ensue

Not exactly a love triangle but a love corner but hey we barely got food here :D

I cant believe how hot this shit is lol

Adam x Eve x Lilith x Lucifer (Eden poly/ applecore?) 8/10

They could have been all married to each other(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ But as much as i go "OooOooo Poly yay'' i just cant vibe with EvexLucifer, like the cheating vibes is wayyyyyyyyy too much i just cant man . I mean with the interpetation that Lucifer came to Eden to hang out with the humans they all know eachother, they're a throuple yes but BUT when Eve came into the picture it was only with Adam n him only so the other 2 is ehhhh. Im fine with EvexLilith cause im seeing it happening later, not hidden from Adam while LuciferxEve got that deception going on .So uhhh in this ship they're more like bestie than lovers to me¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also AdamxLilith is an underrated pairing like everytime i saw this applecore thing going on these 2 r at most tolerate each other like cmonnnnn we already twist this to hell n back, why cant we make it so their arguement was a petty non-malicious one n they still cares for each other hmm???

They're one happy family

IDK what to tell u bittersweet reunion n loving family is the only typa fic u get with this ship

Not that im complaining i need this wholesomeness

Adam x Mammon (Adammon/Madam/Greedyguitar/ 1st chirstmas.... hasnt had an offical name yet) 10/10

They r litteraly same person different font idk what to tell u. More insults thrown around than Guitarspear but they're pretty similar. Adam is just " sinners suck ass but this dude is the worst in the best way". Also they're both big bois (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ , they love towering over others

I'm sorry but there r barely BARELY

any fics of them :(

The art side is more plentiful tho :D

Adam x Angel Dust (Holydust/guitardust) 5/10

THEY ARE BESTIES YOUR HONOUR n that the exact reason why i cant see them be together as a couple 100%, like the shit-talking bff vibes r wayyyy too strong XD Angel finally got someone who have the same vulgar humour as him n if Adam got married in hell Angel would 100% be his best bitch of honour (≧∀≦)ゞq(≧▽≦q)

They're best friends who have casual no-string attached sex that is ACTUALLY no-string attached:)))

I came to ship them due to those "What if they're co-workers under Val' scenarios ive been seeing on Tumblr

I got like 1 fic on ao3 i mean if u r looking for just platonic friendship between them then rest asure most Adam's redemption fics have that

I got 1 fic on tumblr

Adam x Charlie (Charadam/Guitarprincess) 5/10

U know this ship give me a pretty bad first impression since a good chunk of the fics r either heavy non-con shit or lean wayyyyy to much into the daddy kink, ya know how Charlie got suppose daddy issues n all that jazz?:))) yeah that... that

But after seeing the art side of this ship im chillin with them now, since the art r pretty wholesome, usually having them decked out in punk-rock clothings hanging out. It's a big "Fuck you" to Lucifer n i live for these mf argueing ╰(*°▽°*)╯

So uhhh stay away from the fics if ya want an actual functional couple instead of wtv messed up shit we got there:))) But here's a fic anyway, the only one where it feel bearable n actual trynna go into said messed up relationship i already warn you

We got cracks like Guitarmaid (AdamxNifty), Valadam (AdamxVal) which i dont have enough materials to decied, Classicalrock (AdamxSera) sound interesting but also havent found anything , Guitarhalo (AdamxEmily) is an unexpected find, find i deem them to be more familial than romantic so we'll see if there's a fic good enough to convince me

Edit:i forgot to add Blitzo like Mammon already there why did i forgot

Adam x Blitzo (i dont think anyone even ship this but me:)) 7/10

I cant find a single fic where they has anything more than a 1 nightstand n 1 interaction where they hit it off , i live off imagination alone (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) but like fr fr they would match so well, like their bloodlust n general jerkiness would make them the 3rd asshole x asshole ship on this list :DDDD

Tho as much as i wanna see them go further i feel like an on-n-off relationship/friends with benefits fit em more ya know ( *^-^)ρ(*╯^╰) If ya have any fic but the 2 here that have them interact lemme know cause a bitch need food :)

This is a lot of tag(._. )

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justastraymoa · 2 months ago

Text

Unwilling Alpha

Chapter 7

Masterlist

Taglist

Y/n finds their happy again

Warnings ⚠️ swears, abo dynamics, mentions of slave trade, mentions of rape, mentions of abuse, mentions of death, fear, manipulation.

Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl.

For 10 days after I returned my life resumed as normal. It hurt when I thought about the boys. That final night where Seungmin begged me to stay. But I busied myself with work.

Because of my impromptu vacation we were a bit behind. That gave me the perfect opportunity to fill my head with work so Stray Kids had no room in there. They were all locked in my chest where the hurt lived.

For 10 days I worked most of my waking hours, often until I was exhausted enough to go home and collapse just to do it all over again the next day. I took photographs, I made films. I created art from behind a lens.

This is exactly what I fought for. I fought for my art. I fought my parents who said it was a waste of time. I fought my teachers who didn’t understand why I always carried a camera. I fought to get through college with degrees in photography and film. I fought to find a job after graduation. I fought to survive doing what I loved.

My heart and instincts had no say in this. They were locked away with my hurt until they got on the same page as my brain. There was no room for them right now. I was doing fine. Just fine. There was absolutely nothing wrong. Was I happy? No. But I would be again one day. This would all fade one day.

And then my boss, August, an eccentric man who dressed in steampunk attire every day, stopped by my workstation. He slowly closed my laptop with one finger, forcing my entire attention on him.

He half sat on the desk looking at me solemnly. “I don’t know where you went on your vacation. Or why it was so sudden.” He began.

“Gus-“ I was about to apologize for such an abrupt request for time off. Maybe lie about where I went. What I did. I really didn’t have a plan on what to say. Even after all this time. I could never come up with anything that sounded convincing enough even to my own ears.

He held up a hand to stop me. “No, just listen. You came back different. Still an awesome artist. An amazing worker. But something or someone changed you.”

I swallowed and blinked back stinging in my eyes, thoughts of my Omegas filling my head. I tried to lock them away in my chest again. Where they had been living so I could live my life without sobbing uncontrollably every 5 seconds or go running back to them like every fiber of my being wanted to do.

“That!” He pointed at my face. “I’ve seen that look before. In the mirror when I met my Dahlia. You fell in love.”

I nodded and released a sob, giving up on the impossible task of locking them away again. “Yes. I did.” I leaned forward and rested my head on his thigh, sobbing heavily. I hadn’t cried since I got on the plane that last day, holding it all in. Locking it away inside and pretending it wasn’t there. But it all came out now. Heaved out of my lungs like it refused to be silenced any longer.

“Oh, darling girl.” He stroked my hair soothingly, letting me soak his pants with my salty tears and snot. “What happened?”

“I would have had to give up everything! All I worked for to get where I am! I would have had to give this up! Leave you and the others! And I would have had to change. Become a completely different person. I couldn’t do it!”

“Y/n, you silly girl. That’s what love is. True love requires sacrifice. Requires metamorphosis on both ends.” He sighed. “True love will give you the life you were always meant to have. Turn you into who you were meant to be. It will give you a life that you never imagined you would have. With someone you never imagined you would be with. It's hard to let go, but the end results are worth it.”

I sat up again, wiping my face and running nose. My head was pounding, and my mind was racing. All the possibilities. All the options. Everything I would give up. Everything I gave up when I left. Everything that could be. Everything that would never be. My Omegas. Who let me go when I didn’t want to stay. “What do I do, Gus? I am so confused!”

He cupped both my cheeks and smiled sadly down at me, leaning forward slightly. “Leave. Go to them. Be happy. Live your life.”

I nodded with one last sob and threw my arms around him. Gus had given me my break in my art and had always been a father figure to me. One of the most important people in my life. One of the reasons I convinced myself I had to come back. I trusted him and his judgement. He earned it. I would miss him.

I haphazardly threw clothes into a bag while booking the next flight to Korea. I would come back for the rest of my things. Right now, I need my Omegas.

The flight was horrible. I was too amped up to sleep and it felt like it lasted days instead of hours. My leg bounced the entire time, annoying my seat mate who was trying to sleep. I turned down the in-flight meal, stomach too tight with anxiety to even consider eating. Instead, I sipped on water and impatiently watched the little map of our progress on the screen in the wall. The little figure of our plane was moving way too slowly for my liking or sanity.

It wasn’t until I was standing in front of their door that the doubts kicked in. What if they changed their mind? What if they no longer wanted me? What if they managed to find another Alpha after I left?

Determined to find out, I steeled myself and rang the doorbell, counting my heartbeats as I waited, holding my breath.

What felt like years later, Han opened the door looking worse for wear. His clothes were crumpled, makeup smeared, hair in disarray. And I swear he looked skinnier. He hadn’t been eating properly. I immediately wanted to take him and get him taken care of, washed and fed and warm and safe.

He blinked at me uncomprehendingly several times before his eyes widened and face lit up. “Y/ns back!” He shouted before slamming into me. I breathed deeply through my nose, getting the first of his scent that I had had since the scent on the dirty clothes I brought last time faded.

The ones that sat in a pile near my bed that I had convinced myself I was just too lazy to wash and put away. A lot of those clothes probably ended up coming back with me when I packed, since they were nearby and easy to grab.

What sounded like a herd of elephants came running towards us, shouting in glee and throwing out questions so quickly I couldn’t decipher one from the other in any hope of answering them. I was crushed into a group hug, swarmed and bathed in the happy scents that I had tried so hard to convince myself I didn’t want or need.

I was pulled inside at some point. Honestly, I was too focused on my Omegas to notice. Head swimming and emotions bubbling inside like a overflowing pot of boiling water.

God, I hadn’t realized how much I missed them. I hadn't let myself notice how empty I felt before, how desolate and alone. Locked it all inside. But I felt how much I no longer felt that way now. How full and happy I am. How euphoric. I sobbed with the immense relief I was filled with. So happy that I wasn’t even embarrassed to be such an emotional mess in front of the boys.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait!” Chan called over the voices of the others. Everyone quieted and looked at him. “What are you doing here, y/n?”

“Who freaking cares!” Felix responded, adhering himself to me like I was the very air he needed to breathe.

My hands were constantly moving from one person to another, desperate to touch all of them. To confirm that they were here and safe. Just to reacquaint myself with them.

I wet my lips, scared of rejection. “I’m back – if you still want me – to be your Alpha.”

“But your life? All you’ve worked for?” Seungmin asked. “You can't give all that up for us.”

I shook my head. “I’m gaining way more than I am giving up.”

“You need to be very extra sure of this, y/n.” Chan said seriously. “Because there is no going back.”

“Chan, I just spent the last 10 days telling myself that I was okay. I had 10 days of complete separation from this and all of you. And I haven’t felt more fulfilled, more alive, than I do right now with all of you. I'm absolutely sure this is where I'm supposed to be. Where I want to be.”

“We missed you so much!” Chan breathed his entire body sagging with relief.

I reached out and pulled him to me, resting my forehead against his and just breathing the same air for a few seconds. Letting the relief wash through us both.

“I’m sorry to break this moment.” Lee Know spoke. Chan and I pulled apart to look at Lee Know. “We should tell JYP so he can get the ball rolling. We are short on time.”

“You still have 3 days.” I argued. As much as I had tried, I could never get the countdown out of the back of my mind. I always knew exactly how much time they had left. And while the time difference may confuse me a bit, I knew I was only a day off at most.

Chan sighed. “The government has been pressuring us to make an announcement either way.”

“Okay, then let's go.” I pulled away from Felix and opened the door to leave, determined. There was no reason to drag this out any longer. If the government wanted action, I would give it to them.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Changbin called after me.

I stopped and spun around impatiently.

“Hold on! Let us get shoes on and call a car!” Chan chuckled.

I clapped. “Hurry up, hurry up!”

When he saw me JYP quite literally dropped the stack of papers he was holding and engulfed me in the biggest bear hug I have ever received. “I’m so glad to see you!” he gasped out.

"I’m happy to be here." I patted his back. He really was becoming another parental figure in my life. Like Gus back home.

He pulled away, holding me at arms length and giving me a suspicious but hopeful look. "Are you here to bond?"

I nodded. I heard we are running out of time."

"You have no idea."

"But we do, so let’s get this show on the road!" I.N interjected. I smiled fondly at his impatience.

I started with Chan placing my hand on the back of his neck and pulled our foreheads together, closing my eyes. Looking inside myself, I found the part of me that represents Alpha. I imagined it like a big ball of glowing strings - each one connecting me to one of my Omegas. Pulling on the string that represents Chan, I connected it to the spot where my palm met his neck, letting it flow through me and into him.

My palm grew hot. Almost unbearably so as the bond formed and sealed. The back of my own neck stung and tingled as the bong mark formed. A matching one will form under my palm on his neck. It really was an amazing process.

When it was done, I sighed and opened my eyes to meet Chans. His eyes were misty and filled with love. He unleashed his biggest dimpled smile on me.

The bond mark almost made me giggle. A compass. Some things are just fate. My initials were in the center of the compass. Chans were in the center of mine. A simple, minimal design that I immediately fell in love with. Good thing too because I’m going to have 8 of them going down my spine by the time I am done.

I repeated the process all down the line. Oldest to youngest. I began to flag after Seungmin, hitting my physical and mental limits, but pushing through anyways. I had to bond all of them before it was too late, and I am almost done.

So, in a cold sweat and shaking I finally got to and bonded I.N

He had to catch me when I was done because my knees gave out. The others jumped forward in worry.

"It’s okay. I’m fine. Just tired." I mumbled resting my head on I.Ns chest and closing my eyes.

I.N gently lowered me into a chair that someone was kind enough to bring over and patted my sweat dampened hair gently. It was exhausting, but worth every ounce of energy I used. I now had 8 glowing connections to my Omegas and 8 compass marks going down my back. Each with an Omegas initials in the middle.

JYP clapped and rubbed his hands together. "So, how do you want to announce this?"

I glared over at him, panting lightly. "Just tell the damn government." I was not in the mood to deal with the emotions and stress involved in telling STAY right now.

"Let her rest. We will deal with the reveal ourselves later." Chan said gesturing Changbin to me.

Changbin scooped me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Fine. But be quick about it." JYP relented.

Everyone filed out to head home. My new home. With my Omegas. I smiled to myself.

I was asleep before we got back to the car. Feeling safe and comfortable surrounded by my Omegas and their comforting scents.

When I finally dragged myself back to awareness it was to the pleasant hum of the TV and murmur of voices. I was pillowed on a broad chest and there was warmth all along my back that could only be from another body.

Still half asleep, I rubbed my face into the chest I was laying on. Lee Knows from the scent.

"You better not be wiping drool on me." Lee Knows chest vibrated as he spoke.

I slapped his chest lightly. "Jerk."

"Don’t listen to him. I saw him sneak several photos before you woke up." Han revealed from behind me.

"He lies." Lee Know denied coolly, but his cheeks turned red, revealing his bluff.

I smiled. "Mhm. Sure, he does."

"How are you feeling?

I wiggled a bit, testing my body. "Sore, somehow." I concluded.

"You worked yourself pretty hard. Youve been out for hours." Chan said from nearby.

Lifting my head I noticed that we were all piled up in the living room, using each other for pillows and warmth. There was some game currently paused on the TV as they all turned to check on me now that I was awake.

"Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sleep through my first day back." I am sad I missed time with my boys.

"We took turns cuddling with you, if that helps." Changbin shrugged. He was laying with his head on Hyunjins thigh.

"I guess." I pouted.

"Have you eaten today? Are you hungry?" I.N asked. He was sitting up with a game controller in his hand so he must have been playing when I woke up.

I shook my head. "I was too anxious to eat on the plane."

"Why anxious?"

"To get back. To get to you. Then I was worried you wouldn’t want me anymore."

"Stupid." Seungmin tsked rolling his eyes. Despite the harsh word, I knew he was happy. But also...sad? Regretful? He would come to me when he was ready.

Everyone ignored him. Lee Know kissed my head. "I'll whip something quick up." He got up, leaving me without a pillow and cold along my front.

I reached and grabbed Hyunjin, pulling him close and making Changbins head drop to the floor.

"Hey, I was using that!" He complained.

I dramatically clutched Hyunjin closer, making him gasp for breath equally as dramatic. "My Hyunnie!" I claimed.

Changbin pouted, lower lip poking out and big fake watery eyes. I just snuggled closer to Hyunjin and pulled Han closer behind me like 2 living blankets. "Mmm, warm." I hummed.

"Not to pressure you, but JYP and our manager are bugging me. They want to set up a photoshoot reveal." Chan informed me.

"Didn’t you tell JYP that we would handle it ourselves?" I may have been half asleep, but I distinctly remember that much.

"I did." Chan nodded. "He and our manager said we are taking too long."

I grimaced and wrinkled my nose. I knew this was going to happen. I came to terms with it when I decided to come back. However, the idea of being known as an Alpha terrified me to the very core. Just thinking about it now made by chest tight and blood run cold.

Han held me tighter and rubbed his thumb soothingly on my stomach where his hand rested.

"We will do what you are comfortable with. If you are not ready yet, we won’t put your identity out there. Period." Chan gently said, moving to catch my eye.

I took a deep breath to get my fear under control. It would no longer control me. I’m Alpha. Stray Kids' Alpha. I needed to be strong. I’m a fighter. Always have been. That wouldn’t change now or any time soon if I had any say in it.

"Tell them that we will post a faceless picture of my soul marks tonight. Let my identity be a mystery and build attention for a day or so." I decided. The anticipation will drive STAY crazy in a good way. They will have the time of their lives trying to figure out who it is. The theories will fly! And I would have more time to prepare myself.

Chan was typing away on his phone. I was thinking about the photo I wanted to take. I was in such a rush to pack; I didn’t really know what clothes I had. Just a vague idea, but I do remember grabbing my backless black sweater. Either because some part of my brain was thinking ahead or purely because of luck. Whichever it was, the sweater would be perfect. It would show off the marks very beautifully.

"JYP is fine with it. Manager is less than pleased." Chan reported.

"Too bad. They are not my manager."

Chan raised his eyebrows. "Do you want me to quote you on that?"

Felix snorted lightly. "She is going to keep manager on their toes."

"Say whatever you need to. I already have the photo planned." I shrugged.

Felix perked up and pulled at my arm. "Let’s go do it! I love your pictures!"

"But I’m so comfy!" I whined.

"Those pictures you took of us blew up! STAY loved them! They are going to flip when you give them more!"

I hadn’t known the pictures had blown up. When I left it was too hard to look at anything Stray Kids. I couldn’t even listen to them without forgetting how to breathe.

Groaning loudly, I let Felix pull me up from between Hyunjin and Han, grabbing my forgotten luggage on the way to the guest room.

The room was just as plainly decorated as when I left. But there was a major difference. The bed was obviously slept in, sheets and blankets wrinkled and rumpled. And there were several makeshift beds on the floor, all crammed together so they would fit in the limited space. Basically the whole room was now a bed.

"Have you been sleeping in here?" I looked back at Felix, who looked slightly embarrassed.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "We were having some trouble after you left. Your scent in here helped."

These boys were suffering so much, and they still let me leave. They were willing to let me go, let me live my life while they gave up theirs. I really did find myself 8 human embodiments of green flags.

As much as I am sad they suffered so much, I still think leaving was the best thing for me. I needed the time away. I needed someone outside the situation to confirm what my heart already knew. What I already knew. What every ounce of me besides my brain knew.

If I had stayed from the get-go, I would have resented Stray Kids forever. I would have blamed them for losing what I had. I would have never been able to really let go of my old life and be the Alpha they needed. The Alpha I needed myself to be.

"Let’s make some room in here first."

Felix and I stacked the makeshift beds into a corner, leaving a nice space to be able to work. And for once the plain white wall will be an advantage. It will make the marks and sweater framing them stand out even more.

I threw my bag on the bed and turned to Felix. "Okay, out." I shoved him towards the door.

"What! I can’t watch?"

"No! I’m too embarrassed! I’ll show you the pictures when I’m done." I finally got him out and shut the door firmly behind him. There was no way I could do this with an audience. I didn’t even want to watch myself!

📷📸

Unwilling Alpha Taglist: @xxeiraxx @hanniemylovelyquokka @breadedloafs @songleepark @f1ln4dr3cl16mv33 @hyunjinhoexxx @kayleefriedchicken @vietjeb @hityoulikebahng @juju-227592 @ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal @royal-shinigami @bangchansfavoritenoona @straykidslvr @bookswillfindyouaway @h0rnyp0t @Svmmerstime @jennibahng @kpopandmusicpassion @jasmin-loves-k-pop @cookey-lock @possum-playground @demigoddreamon-blog @rei-reia @dreamerwasfound

**Note: If your tag is not working, I was unable to tag you. I will continue trying with each chapter. If there is a mistake in the tag, please resubmit your name in the taglist hyperlink.

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tamayula-hl · 11 months ago

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Plagiarism allegations currently levelled against me and evidence of my innocence

I'm sorry for posting so many times on this hard topic. But yesterday @freewld (https://www.tumblr.com/freewld) asked me, "You reversed, traced and plagiarised my drawing, didn't you?" I received a DM saying. After discussion, I was given permission to publish a verified image of me and her drawing by overlapping them. Below is her art, all of which I have permission to publish.

The picture on the left is my illustration that is allegedly being used in this case. And the picture on the right is the one she claims was plagiarised by me.

She says: " When my drawing is inverted, angled and overlapped, there are a number of places where the lines overlap. I believe you must have traced my drawing because there are too many places where the lines match for it to be a coincidence".

See the verified image she created by overlapping our drawings on her Twitter feed. (another)

To be fair, I also made a verification image and video.

When two pictures are overlapped with respect to the line of Seb's right eyelash.

When two pictures are superimposed on the basis of the lines on both cheeks of Seb.

I draw every time using the screenshots I have taken of Sebastian as a reference, and probably she does too. I would argue that if I draw a picture with reference to a 3D model of the same 'Sebastian Sallow' character, it is only natural that the two pictures should be similar. If one tries to express his individuality - the distance between his eyes and eyebrows, the length of his nose and philtrum - in a drawing, it is natural that some of the lines will overlap.

In the first place, to claim 'plagiarism by tracing', most of the lines need to match, but there are not many places where the lines of the two pictures overlap completely. It is my contention that this cannot be evidence of 'plagiarism by tracing'.

I believe I have proven my innocence to the world with these two superimposed verified images and videos.

However, @freewld is using Twitter's survey feature to solicit third-party impartial opinions on the allegations.

This is the current voting result.

Incredibly, the majority of votes went to 'I think Tamayula plagiarised'.

I think this voting system might not be fair because as you know, X(Twitter) allows a single user have multiple accounts and actually I currently have eight accounts on X(Twitter). Therefore, I wonder if it can work properly as the third-party impartial opinions because some users might vote this multiple times by using their own multiple accounts.

And I've only been back on Twitter for about a week and have only about 200 followers. In contrast, @freewld has been running her account for 10 months since March 2023 and has more than three times as many followers as me. It is a voting system that overwhelmingly favours her.

With such a voting system, there is no way she can prove that I have plagiarised. It remains to be seen what the outcome of this poll will be, but even if the result is more votes for 'I think Tamayula plagiarised', I will continue to maintain my innocence and I will not apologise to her.

Finally. I have tried to be as honest as possible over the past few days and have continued to assert my legitimacy in Japanese HL fandom, but it is no longer possible for me to deal with this matter any more. I feel ridiculous about everything now. I hope everyone can understand my disappointment a little.

Thank you so much for reading this long sentence so far. I am taking a short break for just a few moments.

#art #artists on tumblr #artist

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rileyglas · 7 months ago

Text

The List ~Pt. 10 - Convergence~

Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) x Reader

Summary: The fight with Vox triggers memories of your life on Earth, but a familiar voice calls to you. When you wake, you find an unexpected hand has helped you but of course their aid comes with a catch. More secrets are brought to light and you must choose whose side you're truly on.

Themes: Huge warning for depictions of war/ bombings/ injuries/ death. With everything going on in the world I understand if it is hard to read so feel free to skip the ~8 ish paragraphs. The usual angst, mystery, sassiness, cursing, fluff, actual plot, mentions of blood/bodily harm, slow burn, Lucifer can't take a hint, Alastor is full of surprises, eventual smut, and of course 18+

3k Words

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 7.A Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 (You're on it!) Part 11 Part 12

**sentences in italics are internal thoughts of the reader

Like a movie, you watch different places around the world flash before your eyes. Each scene, you’re surrounded by the same small group of people. A feeling of pride filled your body when you looked at them. Are these people my family? They feel like it. You knew you’d do anything to protect them.

~~I’m here love…

A final flash puts you at an eerily familiar scene. You sit at the end of a small table, watching everyone laughing, eating, singing - just enjoying the down time together. The sound of an air siren puts an immediate silence over the tent. All eyes snap to you, waiting for your guidance. You stand from your chair, “Alright just like training guys, take your assigned positions around the camp and keep a clear - “, ringing pierces your ears as everything goes black.

~~You’re stronger than this…

In what feels like a second, you are lying face down on the warm ground. How long was I down for? Pushing yourself to your knees, you watch blood from your face make little droplets in the dirt below you. Dust and smoke fill the air, burning your lungs when you try to take a breath. Fuck…Where is everyone? You look at what remains of the camp around you. Piles of brick, wood, and rock litter the area. The night around you is hauntingly silent, interrupted only by the occasional pop of electricity from what remained of the generators. As the dust begins to settle, you’re able to make out multiple sets of boots under rubble nearby. No…no...no…no please...

You attempt to run towards them but stumble back to the ground. A mix of dirt and blood coat the front of your uniform. Other than the pain in your side, you have no way of knowing the true extent of your injuries as a numbness washes over you.

~~Fight…please my dear…

Sounds of tumbling brick and coughing distract you from your self-evaluation. You crawl towards the sound and find a man trying to sit up, pushing away the rubble that buried his lower body. “Thank God, you have no idea how relieved I am to - “, an involuntary gasp leaves your mouth when you see the piece of metal sticking right through him.

He half-heartedly laughs, “I was going to make some smartass comment like - How bad is it doc? Think I’ll be home for dinner? - but uh…I think that answered my question.” Fucker always had to make jokes, even the face of death.

“No it’s not..It’s not that bad. I just need to find my bag, I can stop the bleeding….just…k-keep talking to me.” Your hands fumble across his chest. You try to apply pressure while your eyes frantically scan the area for your medical bag, but Lord only knows where it ended up after the explosion.

~~Please…we need you…

Warmth continues to spread under you, his blood now staining your hands and arms. He grabs your hands, stopping your efforts and gently setting them on his face, “Don’t do this - ya know how it’s going to end.” A single tear slips past your lashes and down your cheek. His breathing begins to labor, “Hey now boss lady, no cryin’. We all knew what we signed up for. This ain’t your fault.”

~~I need you…

A deafening sound fills the air followed by a blinding flash of white light.

Your eyes bolt open as you sit up gasping for air. Alastor nearly jumps out of his chair, hastily sitting himself behind you in bed to wrap his body around yours, “I’m here, dear. Breathe. You’re safe.” You try to relax in his arms while your mind reels. Was that a dream? A memory? Is that…how I died?

You look down remembering the fight with Vox. Other than a few blood stained cotton bandages, you appear to be mostly healed. “How -?” you begin to ask. Alastor tightens his grip on you, making you wince from the pressure on your still healing wounds. “Please…just…give me a moment.” he begs quietly into your neck. You feel his chest rise and fall against you with ragged breaths. If it was anyone other than Alastor, you would think he was crying.

Gentle sounds from the wooded bayou fill the room. After a few moments, he breaks the peaceful silence, “Don’t ever scare me like that again.” he breathes through a raspy voice. You lean your head back to look up at the demon. He looked just as rough as he did that night in the tower.

You bring your hand to his cheek and pull him into a tender embrace against your lips. He sighs into your mouth as his body relaxes. He needed to feel you, to know you weren’t gone. The corners of your mouth curl into a smile, “I don’t know how but I heard your voice…through the darkness you were calling to me. Even as I dreamt of my life on Earth.” Alastor huffs amusingly, “My dear, I never left your side. Charlie said talking to you might help. I thought it was silly really but I was willing to try anything. Good to know my efforts weren’t in vain.”

Alastor delicately brushes his fingers through your hair, “I didn’t think it was possible to feel something worse than the initial fall into Hell, but you seem to enjoy keeping me on my toes. As much as I hate to say it, you might not have made it if Lucifer hadn’t -”

“Lucifer!?” you yell in surprise at how casually Alastor mentions him, “Why would he bother saving me?” A few taps on the door interrupt before you can get an answer. Without waiting for a response, Lucifer walks into the room, “Ah good you’re awake.” he chirps casually.

You swing yourself to the edge of the bed in an attempt to stand but Alastor keeps a firm hold on your hips, slotting you between his legs to keep you sitting. He scolds quietly in your ear “Easy love, let’s not move too quickly. You’re still healing.”

Lucifer makes his way across the room, puffing his chest out arrogantly as he leans against his cane, “There were only a few wounds I couldn’t get completely healed but you seem to be a strong one! Of course someone had their doubts.” he glares at Alastor, lip nearing a snarl.

He did help when he didn’t need to, ulterior motives or not I should be grateful. You muster a smile and cool tone, “Well you did wonderful, sir. I am feeling pretty good to be honest. Thank you. I suppose I owe you.” What the fuck did I just say?

Alastor exhales against your neck and digs his fingertips into your sides, making you curse at him under your breath. It didn’t help how smug Lucifer suddenly looked. He nonchalantly fiddles with his suit, “Well we do have some private matters to discuss. If you’re feeling up to it of course.” No but do I have a choice?

“Sure! What’s going on?”

“I uh - would prefer there to not be an audience, if you don’t mind.” Lucifer shuffles his cane to his other hand. Your chest hitches at the request. I rather not be alone with this man right now. Alastor notices your apprehension, “Anything you have to discuss can be said in my company. You have quite a nasty habit of putting your hands - amongst other things - where they don’t belong.” his tone cut with such sharpness even the well collected King looked visibly uncomfortable. You feel him disappear from behind you only to reappear in a chair by the fire behind Lucifer, “You may continue sir.”

Lucifer scoffs but doesn’t speak right away. You fumble nervously with your hands as his eyes burn into you. Chills creep across your skin from the tension filling the room.

“Soooooo - what did you need to speak about, sir?” you ask wearily, wanting to get this conversation over with. “I told you to call me Lucifer,” he takes a seat next to you on the bed, “And I think you know damn well what we need to talk about.” his once sickeningly sweet voice now harsh with ire.

Cool, nothing like pissing off the King of Hell. You try to hide the anxiety building in your chest, “Lucifer, I appreciate your offer from the other day however I am staying here. With the sinners and with Alastor. I am capable of -”

“Yes, yes - you looked quite capable as you were dying in my arms just a few nights ago!” he bites, “Do you think you’re of any use to the people you claim to want to help if you’re dead? Do you think he will actually support you in your efforts?” his eyes dart to the demon across the room.

“Oh and you will!? You want to keep me like a pet in your little castle! Remind me, how did wanting such things from Lilith turn out for you?”

An unsettling smile crosses his face, making a pit form in your stomach, “You tread on thin ice my dear. If you wish to take low blows, fine. You’re naive to think he actually loves you. You said yourself, he just wants to use you -”

“I was wrong. I was only naive to think you did not want to use me.” you interrupt plainly. R̷͈̈u̸̦͌l̸͍̍e̴͔̅ ̷͉͛#̸̗͒1̶͍͂ ̵̮̐B̵̬̊e̷͖͐ ̵̡́o̵̡̿p̵͎͂e̴̢̋n̷̡̆ ̵͚̋t̵͕͠o̵͔̽ ̵̺̉t̶̰͗ȓ̴̠ů̷̹s̶̩̄t̴̙̅,̸̈́͜ ̶͉̓b̶̘͗ǔ̵̮t̶̯̂ ̸̝̿n̴̳̍ȅ̷͔ṿ̵̀e̴̗̾r̸̨̔ ̵̻͒ḑ̶̾ǫ̴̉ ̴͎̉ś̴̤ō̴̩ ̴̣̒b̶͉͠ḻ̸͗i̶̳̽ṋ̷̀d̶͉͒ĺ̵̘y̸̙̕

He cocks his head and raises an eyebrow, “I - I don’t know what you mean. I - I saved you. I protected you when - when he couldn’t. Of course I would have never allowed you to get hurt in the first place.” Alastor clears his throat and shifts in his chair, using every ounce of restraint to not lose his tongue. His eyes pinpoint to Lucifer through a sharp grin.

I’m not the only one on thin ice here. “I appreciate you helping me, truly. But I think we both know deep down…you’re scared. You’re weaker than you let on. Locking yourself away, ignoring your duties. Without Lilith you’ve become just a shell of the ruler you once were. And, not to sound arrogant, but I get the feeling you think I can somehow change that.”

Lucifer’s look softens and he takes your hand, eyes glued to his thumb tracing across your palm, “I’ll admit there’s some truth to your words. She was my strength. She knew how to lead better than I ever could. The city has gone to shit without her. But…” his other hand cups your cheek as he meets your gaze, “...you can change all of that. Standing by me, you can do so much good for our people. Isn’t that what you want?” his words seem to plead with you. You hear a crack from Alastor’s grip tightening on the arms of his chair.

You shoot a glance at him, silently asking him to calm down. With a gentle touch, you take Lucifer’s wrist to remove his hand from your face, “I want to save souls, Lucifer. Charlie’s dream is incredible and I plan on helping her see it through. I do not wish to assist in the rule of Hell.” You say soft but stern, trying to make him understand. He stands abruptly to look down at you, “Does this demon share these same sentiments?”

Fuck he does NOT let up. “I don’t understand. Why are you so against him!?” you raise your voice making the Radio Demon’s ears twitch.

Lucifer kneels in front of you, tightly gripping your shoulders, “Listen to me…” Alastor stands to say something but you raise a hand to stop him. You wince as slender fingers dig deeper into your skin and the King’s voice darkens to a whisper, “He will never stop trying to gain more power. You want to save souls yet you stand by someone who would sacrifice anyone and anything to get what he wants. You help bring him to power…and he will destroy everything. You, me, Charlie…He - won’t - stop.”

Your heart pounds against your chest, fighting against the thoughts racing through your mind, “How are you so sure about his intentions?” you squeak out. He gently brushes some hair away from your face, “My sweet girl, there are darker secrets to him than you know. Secrets, I fear, that will destroy you.”

“That is enough.” Alastor’s voice warns with a heavy static.

Lucifer angrily stands back up, bringing you to your feet with him, “Why can’t you just trust me? Have I not proven myself enough? He will take away everything.” Your hands press against his chest in an attempt to keep him from getting any closer, “Please, stop! He -”

The lights of the room begin to flicker. Alastor grabs Lucifer away from you by his jacket collar and pins him against the wall, “I said that was enough.” he spits. The two men snarl nose to nose before Lucifer lets out a jarring laugh, “Oh-ho - so she really doesn’t know? How far are you going to try and bury the truth?” he peeks over Alastor’s shoulder to you, “See my dear this is what I mean. If he truly loved you, he would have been honest about his - situation.”

Alastor pulls back and slams Lucifer’s smaller body against the wall again, seething through gritted teeth, “You have no right to -”

“W-what is he talking about?” You brace yourself against the bedpost and take a step towards them. Lucifer shoves Alastor off, sending the pissed off demon half way across the room. His body hits the wooden floor hard enough for the planks to creak beneath him. He half-heartedly struggles to pull himself up onto one knee, panting like a dog about to attack.

Lucifer saunters over to you. You hear a low growl from Alastor as he watches the small King move his hands over your waist and his lips to your ear, “His soul is bound to another. He only needs you because your power combined can break him free. And what do you think he’ll do the moment he is unchained?” he breathes through a wicked smile. Your entire body tenses, both from shock and how intimately his hands run against you.

He gives a coy chuckle, raising his voice to ensure Alastor hears him, “Come see me tomorrow. Alone. We can speak further on how you can repay me for helping you.” with a flick of his wrist his cane flies into his hand. You flinch as he presses a kiss to your cheek before disappearing behind his red ribbons.

Alastor remains frozen, kneeling in the middle of the room. His eyes stare into you while flickering between red and black dials. You can’t tell if he’s about to explode or break down. Although a hundred questions are running through your mind, you know better than to poke an already agitated bear or in this case, deer.

In a moment where you should be angry or confused, where you should yell and scream, you instead do something that takes both yourself and Alastor by surprise. Ignoring the pain and soreness in your body, you drop to your knees in front of him and throw your arms around his neck in a tight hug. He moves his hands up but hesitates before touching you. “Wha-what are you doing?” he asks with a mixture of confusion and intrigue.

Within an instant, a plan forms in your head. This is going to get messy. But it’s the only way to protect me…and protect us. R̶͚̀u̷͍̿l̷̦͛ȅ̸̥ ̸͔̀#̷͇̿4̶̫͝ ̴̧̌Ț̶̈ù̷̫r̸͓̃ǹ̷̩ ̸̘̚y̴͔͊ò̵͜u̸͙͝r̸͜͠ ̶́͜w̸̮̉ẻ̴͚á̵͚k̶͎͌n̵̘͛e̶̪͐s̵̜͝s̵̛̤ ̸̼̋ĩ̸̭n̴̘̈t̷͙̎o̴̡̓ ̵̩͌ŝ̷͉t̴̺̊r̴͈̍e̶̡̔n̷̝̓g̶̭̚t̴̺̓h̸̩̓ You pull him closer and run a hand up into his hair, caressing the back of his head, “You already know the questions I have and I fully expect answers. However, at this moment, I only need to know one thing…” you move away to rest his head in your hands, forcing his crimson stare to you, “...if I help you to break your deal, are you willing to keep your chains and bind your soul to me?” Your tone is serious but affectionate. He needs to know I’m not asking from a place of selfishness. Ȓ̸̤u̷̞͗l̶̫͂e̸̛̩ ̴̬͝#̴̼̒3̶̙͝ ̷̣͂K̵̜̓e̴̘̽ë̶̤́p̸̳͑ ̷̣͘t̷̥͆ẖ̸͐o̶͉̐s̷͗͜e̷̛̻ ̵̪̍y̴͎͗ǒ̴͎u̵͘ͅ ̸͇́ĺ̵̮ö̴̧v̴̩̏ę̷̀ ̷̝̋c̸͠ͅl̶̫͑o̸͈͆s̴̟͠ë̵̢́

“Yes.” he says without hesitation. His immediate response takes you aback. The last thing you expected was the ‘all powerful’ Radio Demon to give into your request without a second thought. For a moment you are left completely speechless.

Unassured by your lack of response, Alastor places his hands over yours, “You’ve already managed to obtain my heart and my mind. The second my deal is broken, I will give you my soul. I will give you everything.” Your heart flutters at his words.

There isn’t a single hint of anger or regret in his voice. His eyes lock to yours as he peppers kisses into your palm and down your wrist. The image takes you back to the first night you spent with him just months prior. That night he looked hungry and desperate but now there’s nothing but devotion, a silent plea for your trust.

You can’t fight the heat rising in your face from his affection. He always has a way of clearing your mind yet clouding it all at once. You’d be surprised if he couldn’t hear the pounding of your heart from his willingness to give everything to you. Well phase one of this plan is already going swimmingly. He cocks an eyebrow at how smug you suddenly look, reading you like an open book, “What schemes are you concocting behind those eyes?”

You lightly peck his forehead, then his nose, stopping just above his lips. A sly grin spreads across your face, “I have a plan but you’re not going to like it.” He rolls his eyes and groans, “It involves Lucifer, doesn’t it?”

He helps you to your feet and pulls you into him. Your hands rest perfectly against his broad chest as you smile up at him without an answer. His eyes close with a deep sigh, “My dear, I already do not like where I think this is going.” he mumbles, knowing you’ve already made up your mind.

You stand on your toes to give him a quick playful kiss, “I believe it’s time for me to go make a deal with the Devil.” R̸̢̉u̷͙̔l̷̺̇e̴̡͌ ̷̢̿#̶̠̍2̷͊͜ ̵̤̕D̷̦̐o̴̞̒n̷̠̈́’̷͔̆t̵̪̀ ̴̬̊b̸̺͋ẽ̶͈ ̴̣͘a̴͚͋f̶͔͗ṙ̶͔a̵̻̕i̸̪̾d̵̲̂ ̸̙͗t̷̛̥o̸͕̐ ̸̟͊s̵̖̒h̸͔̊ö̷͇́ẃ̶ͅ ̷̯̓y̸̭̔o̸̮͆u̴̠͐r̷͙͝ ̶͚͝p̵͔͌ǫ̷̛w̵͔͝ė̶̝r̴͎̂

Tag List (Let me know if you would like to be added!)

@rl800 @fairyv-ice @looking1016 @martinys-world @sirens-and-moonflowers

@alastorssimp @alastorsgirl48 @mysterisumone @ohnah2022 @catticora

@eris-norwega @kaylopolis @littlebluefishtail @little-slyvixen @laudrawin

@qu1cks1lversb1tch @diffidentphantom @rapturenyx @purplerose291 @mcntsee

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watchingblsnowandforever · 6 months ago

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We Are Ep.14: Part 1/3

Hello!!! =D

Welcome back to my crack posts!

Part 2, Part 3

Ep 14 ruined me, just so y'all know. I'm honestly scared for what the next episode will do to me. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

Warning: long, long post 😊😅 (also divided into three parts this time because I wanted to screenshot the whole damn thing, but this is next best)

I did not expect Q to be the one to stand up for Phum, but I wasn't really surprised after the last ep. Previously, he'd be the first one to go up in arms, but he's starting to understand maybe everything isn't that straightforward, and despite his friends meddling in his own relationship, he wants to leave Peem alone.

Conclusion: he's a very good friend.

Of course. I should've known something like this would come up 😭

Of course they've taken baths together.

I love this friendship so much.

You again. 😶 I swear to the gods, this guy will give me high blood pressure or something. Please please just leave Peem, alone. Learn to take a 'no' and mantain social distancing.

Peem... you're too kind for your own good. (I get it though)

You have no right to say that, especially without knowing the full story. But I'm feeling kind, so you're still a (mostly) decent human to me. Try not to ruin that impression. And never, ever again say anything to my babie Phum. Ever.

Oh my gods my heart broke for Tan 🥺 Here he was, probably never having dated after he fell for Fang, so knowing that Fang had dated even after whatever they went through must be so painful to him.

FANG KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT'S WRONG AND HOW TO FIX IT.

Just like we see Tan waving away Fang's insecurities every time, Fang does the very same for Tan.

I love them. <33

🥺🫶🏼

They're both so whipped-

Fai: I didn't see anything 👀😗 (we all know she's fangirling so hard inside)

Fai is me, I am Fai.

No but, Phum, are you sure Peem staring at you for a long time won't make your heart race?

Whipped. They're both so goddamn whipped. *sighs fondly*

The horns I'm dying 😭😂

Phum wasn't even surprised 😭👍🏼

Okay, not the best impromptu band performance/concert I've seen, but this is Thai BL, and they need some music and at least like 10 scenes with some band to pass whatever standard of approval, so I'll let it slide. Also, I'm terribly fond of these idiots. <3

HANDS.

They're besties for a reason hehe

You're asking the question, but are you ready for the answer?

I have already gone crazy over this too many times, I really don't have the energy anymore.

Peem is definitely winning Best Non-Confession Confession of the Year Award.

Are we still talking about the painting, or...?

Honestly though, when he was saying this I got actual flashbacks of Phum kicking the ball into his painting and how their relationship developed from there till where they are right now.

HE-

He named it "Happy" because it's all the things that make him happy. 😶

I had to pause here to take a deep breath so I didn't break out in tears two eps in a row.

WHAT IS THIS SERIES DOING TO ME.

Also, taken together, they are a story in 3 pics.

I'm just gonna go sob in the corner.

When faced with that smile and that "na, Peem, na" how could he ever deny Phum anything 😭

Textbook definition of a blushing boy who just became boyfriends with his crush the boy he loves. <3

No, he thinks he's a babygirl and rightfully so.

THIS HUG. That's it. That's all I have to say. I have no words for how this made me feel, and will make me feel for the rest of the forseeable future.

I end Part 1 here. Part 2 and 3 will be out tomorrow (because they are quite a bit long and I have Thoughts about them that I need to write in detail)!

If you've gotten this far, thank you so much for reading!! 😊

Here, have a taco 🌮

#we are #we are series #we are the series #thai bl #phumpeem #qtoey #tanfang #chainpun #watching bls: we are #let's talk bl

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kayslibrary · 5 months ago

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Simon Riley's hair obsession (Simon X black reader)

Hi guys! This break was completely unprecedented (it will probably happen again). I just checked my last post date and it was JANUARY 21ST????? I did NOT mean to step away for that long lmaoo But im back! I wanted to dabble in the Cod fandom but I’m a little intimidated idk. There are a lot of different archetypes of the characters, and im a little nervous I won’t do the characters justice or portray them correctly so please give me feedback and or/ KIND critiques if you please!

Im gonna start my Task Force 141 saga off with Simon (whose surprised lol) and this is gonna be paired with a black afab reader so ENJOY PPL

Warnings~fluff,, Simon being a lovestruck fool

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simon likes your hair. No, Simon LOVES your hair. That was one of the first things he noticed when you two first met. When you two were in the earlier stages of dating, he would just stare at your curls. “Beautiful, full curls,” he thought to himself as you would go on about your conversations. Now that you both were living under the same roof, He knows what goes into keeping your hair from frizz and tangles and how much it takes to maintain it.

“Baby, can you pass me the edge control?” you requested from your shared bedroom, “what control?” He inquired, puzzled “The edge….the blue jar with the black lid on it” “The lid that's hard to open,” he asked as he walked in with 5 bottles and jars cradled in his arms. “Yess that one” you giggled, pacing over to him to grab the one you were looking for. “This one” you smiled as you nab it from Simon.

Other times Simon would sit on the bed and gaze at you in awe (homeboy is WHIPPEDD) “Yes Simon?” you groaned at the pain in your arms “Nothing baby doll, continue on” he smiled “Right…FUCK!” the rubberband that you’ve been finagling with popped “baby what's wrong?” he practically teleports to your side. “The stupid rubber band popped ugh” you fume with frustration. “It’s okay honey..here let me help” Simon offers as he puts your hair into a ponytail. “Is this good?” “This is more than good..thank you baby” you sigh with relief.

To add to that thought, Simon is a big helper!!! Wash days once took 4 hours but now it took 2 hours thanks to the extra help. Like imagine you both in the shower getting clean and you both take turns washing each other's hair?? SO CUTE “Baby you know I can do this myself” Your eyes roll to the back of your skull with please as Simon scratches at the right places “I know but I want to help you. I enjoy it as much as you do” he snorts as the water cascades from the showerhead onto you both.

OH YEA, you definitely caught him watching those ‘how to care for kinky hair’ videos sometimes, you find it admirable that he would take the time to educate himself apart from what you tell him. “Wanna help out more” he kisses you with devotion because let's be real HE WHORESHIPS THE GROUND YOU WALK ONNNN.

Before you, he didn’t know the first thing about protective styles, different hair products for your hair, how to wrap it at night but now that hes with you, he understands and for you guys anniversary he surprised you with a heap of gifts BUT ALSO surprised you by braiding your hair for you. Who needs a hair salon when you have one built into your partner (huge money saver LMAOO)

In conclusion, I think Simon Riley would be OBSESSED with your hair whether it be in braids, out and about, or straight. “You look good in everything, hell you could be bald. I’d still love you the same” he’d grin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author note- i love this? Hello? 10/10 crumbs and the table are GONE. i love simon but i am a rudy girl what can i say IMMA WRITE FOR HIM NEXT WATCHHHH but yea its good for me to get back into my groove. Glad to be back pookies be safe wherever you are!! Bye now!!

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pippin-pippout · 6 months ago

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I just watched MelonTeee's video on Ace and Worth and man the internal debate I have with myself on whether I agree with the choice or not...

Her video explains the fandom's love for the character so well, as well as why the tragedy hit so hard. For me personally I have not been that affected by a character death in a LONG time.

And I understand it from a certain narrative perspective – mainly how Ace's past continues to feature in the story a decade later, and Whitebeard's line that someone would carry Ace's flame, because that clearly describing Luffy. He goes after the mera mera no mi and finishes what Ace started in Wano.

But there are two major narrative reasons given for Ace's death that I disagree with. And are largely why I think it shouldn't have happened, and also why the death has hit me so hard.

This is going to get long, but I would really love to hear everyone's thoughts on it if you choose to read!

To give Luffy the push he needed to be stronger: I am pretty confident this is Oda's stated reason (in addition to Oda wanting to prove he could kill characters which I guess he said at one point and which is bleh given the level of injury a character sustains seems to have nothing to do with whether they die or not lol it's just what the author wants to happen). Anyway. That push already happened on Sabaody when Luffy lost everyone to Duma. He was HELPLESS. More helpless than he was through most of marineford. And when Rayleigh convinces Luffy to do the 2 years training, Rayleigh only brings up their epic defeat on Sabaody. He does not bring up marineford or Ace's death as a reason Luffy needs to get stronger. Because Luffy did not need that reason. The only argument I can think of is that maybe once he landed on Amazon Lily, and he realized the strawhats were likely alive, the terror he felt on Sabaody abated slightly. And therefore maybe he needed a reminder of what "loss" truly is to re-motivate him. However, I don't think that is really fitting with his character or the story.

Ace's dream was fulfilled: Oda has talked about the reason he doesn't kill villains is because not having your dream fulfilled is a worse fate than death. I think part of the tragedy of Ace's death was that his dream wasn't fulfilled. Even for those who accept his last words - that he had only one regret which was not seeing Luffy accomplish his dream - the amount of time he got to live with that dream was literally the last moments of his life. But I don't think just because you die with no regrets, does not mean your dream is fulfilled. Especially when Ace never truly internalized what his dream was. His final choice to turn around showed HOW MUCH he still was that lonely, scared little kid he was at 10 despite his warm smile and his growing family. The most heartbreaking part of the flashback was not Sabo's death. It was watching Ace asking the question "do I deserve to exist?" and giving all his devotion to those who said yes. It was him making the exact same decision he would make 10 years later, to refuse to run, because he felt like if he ran he would lose everything and Luffy was standing behind him. Ace's final words do more than state he has no regrets. He also gives the answer to the question he'd asked Garp, and that Garp had said only his actions could decide. Ace died thanking Luffy and his family for loving him despite the "worthless" or "good for nothing" person he was. Ace was moved to tears to hear his family emphatically saying "YES. You do deserve to live! We want you to live!" But Ace never actually believed it. His last words were a reflection of gratitude for the love he was given that he didn't feel he deserved. And thus his final answer to the question "Do I deserve to exist?" was no.

That he was too "good" This is kind of the most upsetting one I've heard (thankfully not a lot) and also the one easiest to dismiss. Ace, being the actual son of the pirate king, being super powerful, growing in strength and reputation faster than Luffy (debatable), put him narratively in competition with Luffy. What I mean by that is it positions him as too much the golden character, the mary sue, the typical protagonist, when One Piece is about Luffy's story, not Ace's. I disagree with the premise of seeing Ace's character that way. But also even he was "that" character, it's pretty clear Ace's dream would have taken him to becoming Whitebeard's heir - whose dream it was to build a family - while Luffy is Gol D Roger's heir. So Ace's journey would have supported the main story of One Piece and also be narratively satisfying.

---

What Was Ace's Dream?

The dreams Ace stated out loud were more reflections of his actual, deeper dream. "I want to be the king of the pirates" - because he wanted to prove his existence and his worth to the world. Which switched to "I want to make whitebeard the king of the pirates" - because Whitebeard loved him despite his blood, and so even if that wasn't what Whitebeard wanted, it was how Ace understood he could repay Whitebeard.

Both of those stated dreams get back to this question he'd been asking his whole life - that of worth. Worth and Love, which, for Ace's character, are inseparable.

For Ace's dream to truly be fulfilled, it's not enough for him to accept he was loved – which he did on the scaffolds, crying from happiness – he had to believe he was worth that love. He had to love himself.

Ace died with that dream tragically unfulfilled.

---

The Purpose of One Piece

Of course the decision to kill Ace makes the story more realistic and of course it is heartbreaking, tragic, moving, and obviously inspires deeper discussion.

However, what rankled me from when I first learned about his death, which was way before I was even introduced to the character in Alabasta, was that he is the only character of the younger generation (outside of flashbacks) to die.

Honestly when I first heard Ace was one of the only characters to die, I was just worried it would make him seem weaker or stupider than every other character, which is a personal pet peeve of mine. Luckily for most fans, it didn't do that.

Instead, what wound up upsetting me was how it seemed to contradict the purpose of the story that is One Piece (at least what I think the purpose is). In doing so, it opposes the meaning that many fans find in this absurd, ridiculous, inspiring, heartfelt, heroic tale about a boy made of rubber.

One Piece is an escapist story about a boy named Luffy who inspires every good guy he meets to pursue and achieve their dream. It's also about Luffy beating up every bad guy who punishments are that they cannot fulfill their morally reprehensible dreams.

Because of Ace's premature death, he is the only good guy character in the main timeline who does not get to pursue his dream. And what's extra tragic is that he is also one of the most deserving of seeing his dream fulfilled.

#portgas d ace #can you tell i'm having a day #happy 4th to those who celebrate lololol #one piece #this got WAY too long #asl brothers #marineford #monkey d. luffy #would love to hear everyone's thoughts in the replies #portgas d. ace #firefist ace #fire fist ace #one piece ace #oh just had another thought about Ace and putting it here #part of his whole declaration as a kid with Sabo and Luffy and wanting to make a name for himself #was he wanted to be out of the shadow of his father #and for him I think that was a large part of his worth #because his dad was ‘worthless’ and hated and people celebrated his death #that meant Ace was worthless and shouldn’t have been born #and so it’s another aspect of his ‘dream’ that didn’t get realized #because Sengoku made sure that when Ace died all the world would see was Gol d Roger’s son finally being caught #and killed like he should have been when he was a baby

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outsidereveries · 1 month ago

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newjeans and their issue with their group contracts [🍯🐝]

will look at everyone's side as objective and non-biased as possible.

why newjeans warned ador | 2 of swords rx, death, the empress, 7 of swords, the lovers

hybe has changed the girls' contract without both ador and the girls' knoweledge (and therefore, permission). therefore, they had no choice but to send a warning that if the contract doesn't return in the way it was, they'll leave everything they created and did altogether.

testifying experiment №2.

today the following people will testify:

lee jaesang, ceo of hybe | knight of wands, the sun, the hierophant

"i tried everything i could do for newjeans and am still trying to help the girls. bang sihyuk is involved at this. again. i understand bunnies will blame me too but i'm really not involved in all of this."

bang sihyuk, hybe's chairman | 6 of pentacles, the hierophant, knight of wands rx

"and so what if i changed newjeans' contracts without anyone knowing? they received too much from hybe! they deserve it! and now they have the audacity to leave? how dare they? there are rules and they shall obey them!"

min heejin, former ceo of ador | 9 of wands rx, the lovers, 8 of wands

"i expected my girls to do this sooner or later and despite what happens, i'll be forever proud of them. and i'm sure of the fact that whatever newjeans did in the recent days won't happen if i was still ceo of ador. i'm certain of this."

so sungjin, ceo of source music | 6 of cups, 8 of pentacles, ace of swords

"i'm not involved in everything bang does, i also have my own problems! (imaginary look at le sserafim)"

kim taeho, ceo of belift lab | the tower, judgement, 8 of swords rx

"i'm screwed. if newjeans leave, what will happen to i'll-it? newjeans can actually get everything, and the cases I've filed against min heejin recently? i'm losing them! i'll really lose them! I'm losing money, my job, I'll lose everything!"

kim jooyoung, ceo of ador | 6 of swords, the sun, 3 of wands

"this has happened without my knoweledge and permission. i'm trying to find what's going on and help the girls. i really want our relationship to stay the same at its worst because i know that otherwise they would have given me a chance. i'm really sad that we didn't get closer in such a short time, but i don't blame them for what's going on. i am really trying to help them as much as i can."

minji, newjeans | judgement, the high priestess, the empress

"i know that to some our actions might've been impulsive but they really aren't. we've had enough."

hanni, newjeans | knight of swords, 5 of cups rx, 6 of swords

"it has been really hard decision but we (newjeans) decided to do it and try our last chance to fix everything anyways. if we lose in the end, i'm ready to try again in vietnam."

danielle, newjeans | 9 of swords rx, 10 of wands rx, wheel of fortune

"i'm just really overwhelmed of everything. i want all of this to end. but don't think that with our warning letter in the last few days we screwed ourselves. we are not giving up! i'm not giving up!"

haerin, newjeans | the magician rx, ace of swords, temperance

"i cannot believe everyone in this corporation anymore. min heejin isn't with us, so why we're staying in this hell? we had no choice, this is our last try to make everything going back to the way it was. it's not about i'll-it replacing us, it's not about the rest of the idols here in hybe, it's not about the change in ador too, it's just that the identity of our group is gone. we are without min heejin in ador, why we should continue? formally they may have returned her, but do you really think they will return her so easily? the issue is that the things are much worse than you think. the company does not comply with the law, how can I trust anyone here? how?"

hyein, newjeans | page of pentacles, 6 of pentacles, 4 of swords

"i know i'm the youngest in the group but i'm taking the risk. i know it's more likely that newjeans will stay as we are and min heejin'll come back to us, but even if we disband in the end, i'm ready to leave the industry. we have nothing to lose. we are ready."

hyein's uncle | king of wands, 10 of pentacles, 7 of swords rx

"the media lied to you. i'm not fired from my job and i can still be promoted in the end. even if i happen to be fired in the end, i'll do anything to make my niece okay. if I have to, i'll do the same for her friends in newjeans."

asked on 16th november 2024

note | well. i'm hoping for newjeans' best. for real.

#outsidereveries #tarot reading #tarot #kpop tarot #kpop tarot reading #tarot kpop #kpop #kpop reading #tarot reading kpop #newjeans #nwjns #controversies tarot #🍯🐝#min heejin #hybe

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shadyhouse · 1 year ago

Text

i am drowning in debt and i need help

im really struggling to make ends meet on top of everything else. i have a job but i dont get paid well and i can only get about 35hrs per week at most. i do get tips sometimes but the amount that i get is super unpredictable, and most of the time i dont get tips at all (im working as a bather at a dog grooming salon, the groomers make really good tips but as a bather im lucky if i get $10 a day)

ive been trying to find a new job for months now but its been really difficult for me. ive been sent home from job interviews for not having a car, and most of the applications i send out get rejected pretty quickly regardless of what the job actually is. ive even been getting rejected for jobs like customer service and kitchen and retail, which i have plenty of experience in. everything is hard for everybody right now, i know

altogether the amount that i owe is $990. it used to be much more but ive been slowly paying it off when im able to. thankfully this isnt debt that can accumulate interest, so this is the exact amount that i owe. i dont expect to recieve all of it from donations alone, and i wouldnt ask for that. i just need a little bit of a boost on top of my current wages/bills. im also trying to save as much money as possible at the same time, and its kind of impossible when i owe so much for other things. i need to knock this out before im able to save ANYTHING

id appreciate any amount at all! and if youre unable to donate i completely understand, id appreciate spreading this post around. thank you for reading if youve gotten this far, ily and have a wonderful day 💕

paypal.me/bewearrr

ko-fi.com/shadyhouse

vnm: @tobias_leviathan

#im sorry this is my worst case scenario of a post. ive been budgeting but its hard when you make less than 2k per month #i still have like 4 commissions to finish before i feel comfortable opening slots again but im probably going to start a few ych auctions #or maybe just some flat price ones #idk things suck severely rn and this + the holidays are making me want to just. well. you know

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luzial · 1 month ago

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My Thoughts on Veilguard (Spoilers for all)

OK. Now that I've actually had a night to sleep on it, here's my more detailed thoughts on Veilguard beneath the cut. Spoilers for everything, of course. Also this is long as hell so have fun, I guess.

I am genuinely feeling so overwhelmed with emotion at getting what was honestly a happier ending for Solavellan than I thought was possible within the established canon. So let me just start off by acknowledging that the last 10 minutes of Veilguard left me feeling a lot more charitable about it than the previous 80 hours I played did. If you want a glowing review, this ain't it.

Gonna try to organize this into a few categories.

Character Customization

This is embarrassing but I actually rage quit the game after spending about an hour in character creation and finding I could not get a Rook that looked anything like I wanted her to look. The problem for me really was the 3 head types that morphed together - I found that to be too limiting to get something that looked like a real human face to me. Eventually I settled on something and, fortunately, got used to it quickly.

Being able to make a vallaslin-removed, 10-years-older version of my Inquisitor was an absolute dream. I had a lot of reference pictures of my DA:I Lavellan, so this was simpler for me than starting fresh with Rook.

Backgrounds

I played as a human Crow mage. The Crow background story was hilarious to me because you're kind of a fuck-up. Viago addresses you as "Idiot" in his opening letter to you at the start of the game. (Viago can call me an idiot any time, for the record.) I was impressed by how much reactivity there was dependent on my background, though I understand that some others (especially Grey Warden) have even more options because they're so closely tied to the parts of the lore this story primarily focuses on. I'm excited to try some others if I can muster up the energy to play this game a second time (more on that to come).

Combat

Drastically more fun than another other DA game. Your mileage may vary if you like the turn-based stuff from the earlier games, but I do not. I played as a Spellblade, got some perfect unique and legendary gear to work with that, and had a blast. Melee mage with electric powers is my absolute preferred thing to be. I felt entirely overpowered by about 35 points into the talents and ended up turning up the difficulty a little because I was killing things pretty easily. But then, because the spec didn't really change much after I hit that sweet spot, I turned the difficulty back down because I was pretty bored with just hitting the same combos and blocks over and over again. So, fun, but still got old after 80 hours of it.

Companions

BioWare companions have a tendency to hit very hard or miss completely for me with not a lot in between. Unfortunately, I found Veilguard to have more misses than hits.

Harding. While I know a lot of people really love Harding, she wasn't ever someone I paid a ton of attention to in Inquisition so I didn't have strong feelings about her return. I was glad that her personal quests gave us some more insight into the Titans and the Kal-Sharok dwarves, both of which are mysteries I was very invested in. (More on my thoughts about how those things played out in the Lore/Story section below.)

Neve. I absolutely loved the idea of Neve. I thought her design was beautiful and unique - loved, loved, loved her hats. I loved the idea of this lady Sherlock Holmes but I was disappointed that her story didn't really feel much like a detective mystery to me. Neve also really got the worst of it in my save - she had the injury at the start, I saved Treviso, and Elgar'nan kidnapped her at the end. So, needless to say, our friendship was a little strained (or as strained as friendships are allowed to be in Veilguard, which is not very). However, Neve getting to say "THIS IS MY CITY" as she uses the Blight against Elgar'nan? Fucking chef's kiss 10/10 loved that shit. Good for her.

Lucanis. As a huge fan of the Crow stories we got in Tevinter Nights, of course I was looking forward to Lucanis. I adored Spite - what a fun idea for a demon archetype to explore. I found the idea of the experimentation with forcing the creation of specific demons and getting them to possess non-mages pretty interesting. I was so enraged that the story wouldn't allow Rook or Lucanis to point out how obvious Illario's betrayal was - I mean, come the fuck on, Zara is literally calling Illario "amatus" as she dies. You're killing me, BioWare. I romanced Lucanis, so more on him as a character and the romance in the Romance section below.

Bellara. I was really uncertain about Bellara at first. It was clear she was going to be "a lot." But she actually really grew on me over the course of the game, and is probably the companion whose friendship I appreciated the most. I loved her banters with Lucanis about cooking and her discussions with Davrin about the implications of the Evanuris being total dickheads. She was one of the few characters in the game who I ever saw attempt to grapple with this (what should have been) ENORMOUS reveal that the Elvhen gods were real and very different than history remembered them (more on that to come, too). And I'd be lying if I said that her utter revulsion at the idea that Solas and Mythal could have been lovers (something I did NOT want) didn't earn her a shitload of loyalty points from me.

Davrin. Davrin felt the most like what I would expect a Dragon Age companion to feel like. He slotted perfectly into the lore but also advanced important parts of it. He was a fantastic example of a heroic Grey Warden but also had ties to his Dalish roots. He and Assan were adorable and I loved their journey together. I really felt like he had the best head on his shoulders of anybody in Rook's team, while also having a personal mission that very directly influenced and pushed forward the overarching narrative of the story. This is what a good companion looks like.

Taash. Boy, did I have a difficult time with Taash. Listen. As a cis lady (though admittedly a bisexual one who has many complicated thoughts about gender), I don't feel that it is especially my place to critique Taash's personal story. So I'll just say that I was frustrated by how often they felt like an absolute child to me - in a way that truly left me wondering why the hell Rook recruited an immature teenager for her team. I found Taash's relationship with their mother to be equal parts frustrating and touching, and I think that's fine and probably good. I wish Taash had given their mother a chance to tell us more about people in the Qun who are non-binary. I was excited to hear that lore and sad that Taash cut her off. I am always glad to see stories like Taash's in very popular media because I think stories instill empathy in us and empathy goes a long way toward acceptance. I do wish, however, that Taash's story was spoken about in a more "Dragon Age-y" tone, versus using the exact words and concepts that we do in the real world. It took me out of Thedas at times to hear how they framed their experience.

Emmrich. A little torn. My god, I loved Manfred. I loved Emmrich most of the time too. I thought his personal quest was fun, hilarious, and creepy. Someone had way too much fun with all those horror zoom-ins during the cinematics, and I am here for it. I loved what we learned of the Mourn Watch and Nevarra - both things I was really excited to see in a game. I think my reluctance to fully embrace Emmrich is simply that much of the information he provides is so similar to the sort of information Solas gave us in Inquisition. And so many players hated Solas for that, whereas I expect Emmrich will be much better liked overall because he delivers his advice a lot more politely than Solas managed to. So I guess I do like Emmrich, but my Solavellan heart is telling me that's a little disloyal.

Overall, my biggest complaint isn't even with the individual companions or their stories but with the absolutely awful pacing that dictates how those stories play out. If I don't play this game a second time, it's because of Act 2. All the running back and forth to have what I have been derisively referring to as "picnics" with your companions really soured me on them in ways that I don't think is very fair to the actual characters. I wish I didn't have to go the map and teleport to get 2-3 minutes of dialogue with someone. I wish I could talk to them more at the Lighthouse. I do miss the conversation wheels where I could just ask for more info. Combined with the fact that, at times, it felt like this was all I was doing for the entirety of Act 2, they had just worn out their welcome for me and i was desperate to advance the main plot.

I also just did not need 2 separate pep talks from Varric effectively saying "get your team's shit together and it'll be better for your bigger goals." I know, Varric. I am playing a BioWare game. You are explaining a BioWare game to me in a BioWare game. I don't need that. I'm here to fix my companions' shit. I signed up for that. Again, that dialogue just took me out of Thedas, and especially when he said it a second time.

Romance

Absolute, fucking nothing-burger with nothing-sauce and no cheese. And I know that this is not just about who I picked - I have looked at plenty of the other romances and talked to my friends who romanced other people. This game just doesn't have it. Spice level is like a dash of stale black pepper. A few cute party banters when you decide to pair up with somebody, but that was really about it. This is gonna be all about the fics for those of you who really wanted more from these characters.

I think you would get this scene regardless of whether you'd begun to flirt with him, but I did really like the first private scene you have with Lucanis where you walk around the Treviso markets and he picks out food items for everybody in the party. It was a lot kinder and more thoughtful than I expected from an assassin character, so I guess that's probably why I went with him. I didn't feel strongly about romancing any of the companions and I ended up going with Lucanis because I knew I was going to save Treviso since I was a Crow and I figured it'd be a lot simpler to romance him in this save versus a second where I save Minrathous. How romantic, right?

To the extent the devs said this was the "most romantic" Dragon Age game so far ... surely they were only talking about Solavellan, right? 😭

Lore/Story

Whew. Strap in. Cause I am conflicted and I'm ready to throw all my problems at the wall / people on Tumblr who haven't stopped reading yet.

Let me start by saying a few things about what I think makes a satisfying resolution to a story. I do not think it is at all a bad thing if your audience is able to guess - mostly or partially - the direction a story is taking. I actually think that can be a very strong compliment to your writing and to the intelligence of the breadcrumbs that you've left along the way. I read everything. I read every word of every codex. I read every novel. I read every comic even though I hate reading comics. I like being rewarded by seeing the knowledge I've gained from that work reflected back at me in the game. That is Good Shit.

I was thrilled to watch headcanon after headcanon (mine and others) confirmed as lore in this game. It was deeply satisfying to go back and look at notes I had made while writing Ruins in 2016 and 2020 about which Elvhen gods corresponded to which Tevinter Old Gods and find that I had all but 2 of them correct. (I swapped Elgar'nan and Falon'Din and I'm not even going to count that against myself because how the hell was I supposed to guess that the Evanuris associated with the SUN was aligned with the Tevinter god of NIGHT, fuck off lol). Good breadcrumbs are so deeply satisfying in a story like this and I cannot be thankful enough that we got all these little hints along the way that were waiting for us to discover them and fit the puzzle pieces together.

The thing of it is, that there are places where I think those breadcrumbs were followed to their least interesting possible conclusions. And that makes me a bit sad because I think it's pretty clear that this game is meant to neatly tie a bow on this geographical part of the Dragon Age world, and it's therefore pretty unlikely that we are going to get much more information to fill in the important gaps in knowledge we still have about the Blight and the Titans in particular.

The more I played this game, the more confused I became about the origins of the Blight, and that was especially frustrating for me because I honestly thought I had it very clear in my head after playing The Descent DLC. The Blight was like an infection or an immune response within the Titans' bodies to the invasion of the Evanuris. It was a consequence of their actions but not something created intentionally. To the extent I knew that Ghilan'nain was messing around with the Blight, I thought it was a fascination she developed with what seemed to be a naturally-occurring phenomenon, and not something she had intentionally, actively created herself. I came out of Veilguard being completely unclear with which of those two things is true and I do not think it is possible or interesting for both to be true. It is entirely possible I have missed something (somehow, in my very slow playthrough where I read every codex as soon as it become available to me), but my lingering suspicion is that the writers of this game never entirely made up their mind about the Blight's origins either. And that's a sad note to leave on, like I said, because I don't know that we'll see much of it again.

As for the Titans, I did enjoy seeing more of that story - and especially from THEIR perspective, not just Solas' memories - through Harding. Their anger was so just and important and I'm glad we saw some of that. However. A couple of big misses for me on the Titans. First, given how alien and huge and intimidating the "inside" of the Titan was in The Descent I just do not like the idea of them having these physical, humanoid-shaped bodies like the one we see in the mountains. I wanted something more abstract than that because I wanted them to be something mythical and fundamentally unknowable. Also, the absolute nonsense of introducing this idea that "angry" lyrium is red lyrium - but don't worry, it's not blighted! It's a totally different thing! That missed me so hard. What an unnecessary complication of straightforward lore. If you want the lyrium to look different to reflect the Titan's anger make it a different color, make it spark, do literally anything except use an existing mutation that already means one very specific thing to your audience.

So the Blight and the Titans were the two places where the lore fell down a bit for me. But I also was simultaneously excited to see Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain and also so underwhelmed by how mundane and "modern" (modern by Thedas standards) they seemed to me at times. I adored Ghilan'nain's model in particular. She was just as creepy, uncanny, body-horror as I have always wanted her to be. Both were fantastically acted. Absolutely no complaints there.

But in the same way that I wanted the Titans to feel suitably alien and distant from us, the players - the Warden, Hawke, the Inquisitor, Rook; people who did not live 10,000 years ago and cannot conceive of this world once being drastically different from how it now is - I wanted the Evanuris to feel SO far above us, so removed. They are not truly gods but they are so godlike in the scope of their power that I wanted them to look at modern Thedas almost like we were ants. The scope of their concerns should be so enormous that we are practically nothing to them. I found it wild when they called me Rook - that they cared enough to know my name? I didn't hate the idea of them grasping power wherever they could - with the Venatori, with the Antaam. But it just made them feel so much smaller than I had imagined. The fact that they called their dragons "archdemons" was a weird nitpicky sticking point for me. Surely they had their own word? Why would they stoop to adopting a word and a concept that never had a reason to exist in their culture?

Speaking of words, and names. I hated, hated everybody using Solas' real name. In my mind, the only people who should have gotten to do that were people who knew him as Solas in the Inquisition. That everyone else adopted it, versus calling him the Dread Wolf or Fen'Harel, whatever, really confused me. It felt so weirdly intimate to have people - even people who weren't party members, just fucking randos that are helping you - calling him Solas. I recognize that this probably a "me" problem and it would be more confusing for new players to have the same character referred to by different names. But still, the part of my Inquisitor who still lives in my heart wanted to just slap anybody out here going around using his name like it was theirs to use.

The exponential increase of the use of magic in the North of Thedas was both something I anticipated and also still way beyond anything I expected. We knew attitudes about magic were drastically different in the North. Dorian's character in Inquisition was a great way to prime us for that shift. Fundamentally, though, I believe Dragon Age as a series has always been concerned about the risks and the consequences of magic use. Those risks are not less in the North. It's simply that they find the risks more acceptable and have different customs and safeguards in place to facilitate the kind of magic use they want.

But I saw NO risks for magic use in Veilguard. No sense that the huge quantities of energy being pulled from a VERY TATTERED AND DELICATE VEIL were worrying to anyone. If magic has become easier to use because of the events of Inquisition and the Veil's weakened state, maybe I could believe that. But somebody in the game needed to say it out loud. Otherwise, I'm just looking at a world where magic is a net positive so how stupid and cruel do you have to be to prevent its use? It makes the already dubious morals of the Chantry and Templars entirely reprehensible in retrospect because apparently if you just let people do any magic they want at any time, everything's peachy!

It was difficult to anchor myself to any particular idea of whether this amount of magic use was normal for my Rook, because Rook - regardless of background - is from the North. They're not an outsider. Thus, I'm counting on someone who is an outsider - maybe Harding? - to comment on it, to contextualize it, to make it make sense to me from the perspective of the South, which has always been the player's perspective until this game. I never got that and I wish I had because it would have been so much more interesting and nuanced.

Similarly, it was so challenging to be thrust in media res into a Thedas where everyone (save one obstinate First Warden) was entirely willing to accept that the Elvhen gods were real and were the cause of all the bad shit happening in the world. Listen, I get it. 10 years is a lot of time. Maybe huge, fundamental paradigm shifts have happened in Thedas. Maybe people are willing to believe unbelievable things. But to see very, very little recognition of that from the characters we encounter was jarring. As I said above, I was glad that Bellara and Davrin were able to contextualize some of this in their conversations and I assume an elf Rook maybe has more to say on it as well, but it just wasn't enough for me. This was a place where I feel like we were asked to fill in too many gaps in time and in knowledge and I ended up with the sense that the writing just "had" to begin at this point because it had so much other ground to cover.

And that was the biggest problem for me - not exactly with lore but with pacing. Veilguard decided to wrap up so many of the fundamental mysteries we have been dealing with for 4 games. That is a huge order and it takes a lot of time. As I said, I took 80 hours to play this game. I think that is plenty of time to tell a story as complex as this one needed to be without me coming out of it feeling like I still have questions that should have been answered. Because the game "wastes" so much time, especially in Act 2, especially with some aspects of the companion stories, there just isn't enough room left to do what it needs to do with the main narrative. I also honestly think it could have been split across 2 games - not that any of us want to wait another decade to have these stories resolved, but maybe I would have if I'd known they would have been resolved a little more completely. And, again, I wouldn't be so sad about this if it didn't seem so obvious that we are done with Thedas after this.

Finally, I was so devastated by the lack of Thedas politics in this game. There were so many wonderful opportunities for factions and countries to be pissed at each other, to be working against each other for drastically different goals. I think of this as another core aspect of what Dragon Age games are about. Inquisition obviously was the most political of the games in that sense, because you really were a political leader more than you were a hero. But all 3 of the previous games were worried about this stuff - worried about who's in power, who is subjugated, how can the world be changed not only by people with magical ability but also by those who have deep beliefs about what Thedas should be. Magical power and political power are both very real and both crucial in the prior 3 games. In Veilguard, magic is power, simple as that.

I think this is linked, at least partially, to the decision not to include too many prior decisions and possible world states into Veilguard. And, hey, I do get that. As a player who started with Inquisition I found the Tapestry very intimidating. Three games' worth of choices is a lot to ask of even returning players, let alone new ones. I can't fault them too heavily for this because god knows how many more years in development it would've taken to make all that work. But that doesn't make me mourn the losses any less.

And now, really finally, here's a list of questions that I really don't need anybody to try to answer for me but which I cannot get out of my head and are kinda breaking the plot for me:

Hey so like, how was Solas (weakened state Solas at the end of Inquisition) capable of "murdering" Mythal? Like what power did he have that could have overcome hers? Even if he did have that power how COULD he kill her if he was still bound to her at that point? (I have always read that cutscene as Flemeth at least partially consenting to give Solas her power - not because I'm trying to give him a charitable read but because I honest to god don't understand how it's possible if she's unwilling.)

I think I'm even more confused about the orb/focus from Inquisition now. Obviously if he'd gotten it Solas wouldn't have had to take Mythal's power. But like, why did he have it in the first place? Was it something only he had? What was its original purpose? Cause the dagger seems to have taken its place in terms of importance/power level and containing the Titans.

How the fuck did Solas cleanse the red lyrium idol/dagger?

What happened to those Sentinel elves like Abelas? Where the fuck did they go? Whose side are they on?

What about the elves disappearing into the forest?

Still the stuff about the Blight.

I'm sure there's a lot more but I'll leave it at that because we've got to get to ...

Solavellan

Guys. I was so afraid of this game for so long. I'm not sure what I really expected or what had me so worried. I've always told my friends that the best ending I can imagine for Solavellan is the Inquisitor and Solas "dying on the same sword." What I meant by that was that I fully accepted their ending would be tragic (I truly saw no alternative) but I would be content if at least they died together - at least he didn't die alone.

What we got was honestly so much better than I wanted? LOL. Especially with Trick Weekes' recent clarifications. (Specifically, regarding where they are going: "She's speaking both romantically and literally. It won't be terrible if they're in there together." I AM DYING I AM LOSING MY MIND I'M SOBBING AND I'M SO HAPPY.)

I was screaming at my monitor - as I'm sure many of you were as well - "GO WITH HIM" when Solas finally gave in and bound himself to the Veil. I sobbed immediately, I woke up this morning and watched the cutscene again and sobbed again. I feel really grateful that this one ship in this one piece of media got such a tailored and thoughtful ending for it - especially knowing how many other choices from previous games had to be stripped away to make room for other things.

So, yeah. Given however many thousands of words I just put into this about all the shit I don't like? Still feeling pretty charitable right now because my girl Lavellan got the happy ending she so richly deserved.

(Side, and final, note: Jesus who made his wolf form look like that? Why would you do our boy so dirty?)

#dragon age #solas #solavellan #dragon age veilguard #dragon age veilguard spoilers

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