#former foster care kid

[jharu-thalren]

I hate being a former foster child and an autistic person with additional disabilities combined, and everything I do just fizzles out into nothing, i will kill myself before i become 31 if this situation does not change.

If I don't get out of the support system in the next few months – something I've been trying to do for 15 years – and if I don't get assurance that it will be resolved by the summer, I will be irreparably damaged and might as well give up. I feel trapped and probably won't survive another year.

I can't take it anymore; for 15 years, I've worked hard to get out of youth welfare and special education, got a decent middle school diploma and a good vocational qualification, only to now, more than a decade later, be rotting in assisted living and being unemployable. Everything has been for nothing so far!

I keep deteriorating, I can't maintain friendships or social interactions in general, I'm losing more and more practical life skills, I'm practically becoming institutionalized. My social and professional skills have recently regressed to the same level as they were in 2008. Within this year, I've lost everything I worked so hard for. And the friends who could understand my pain understandably want nothing more to do with me.

I did a crappy apprenticeship and even attended rehab so I could get my own apartment, earn money, and finally get a cat or a dog, which I've wanted for 24 years! I can't even manage the simple goal of getting my own place and a cat.

Four years after finishing my apprenticeship, just turned 30, and I'm deeper in the system than before, have lost skills, and my health is as bad as it was in 2009 when I had just come out of special school?! Every time I return to my shared housing or have appointments with social workers, I end up worse off, every single time. How am I supposed to get out of this?

They don't even understand that I want a practical outcome from my apprenticeship?!

They're always like: "But you've accomplished so much!"

And I'm like, yeah, and what am I supposed to do with that? Do I have an apartment, more than minimum wage, a cat, anything more than I had before the apprenticeship?

And then they say:

"Why do you want those things? The apprenticeship should be enough, shouldn't it?"

It's a loop, a vicious cycle. Nobody gets that I don't find it great to have reached 30 without achieving a single small goal. I talk myself blue in the face with the people who are supposed to be responsible, and nobody understands?!

[tiffanybluesclues]

Every week someone makes a post about how annoying it is that Dick Grayson fans don't acknowledge his flaws, and every week someone replies with an explanation that the flaws OP listed are entirely fanon and inconsistent with canon as it actually happened and at this point I have to assume that none of those explanations are ever going to stick because clearly some people just want the fanon to be true.

Anyway, I'm just putting this here for me to edit and add relevant-to-the-topic links later so I'll have them nicely at hand to read and sooth my frustrations when it gets real bad out there. (Echo chambers are good when we use them to drown out character mischaracterizing fanon.)

[toxicroyjamie]

I think you've mentioned before how you don't really picture RoyJamie having kids post-canon, and I agree, those two as a pairing just give off a DINK vibe to me, but im curious to hear your thoughts on what UNPLANNED parenthood would do to either character. Like, what would happen if either of them had a one night stand baby and were (for whatever contrived fanfic reason you can think of) deemed the only parent fit to raise a kid? I mostly ask because I have a very specific au involving Roy that would relate to this concept rattling around my skull and hearing your meta always inspires me to write so I thought I'd take inspiration straight from the source!!! 🌟🌟🌟

Hi!! It makes me so happy that my meta inspires you, that's amazing to hear :') thanks for following!

Honestly, I've never much considered this for RJ because it's just not a trope that really piques my interest personally ☹️ I've read a few fics like this for other fandoms and I've always been bothered by the roles the mothers have played in them - offscreen villainous incubators basically. Which is not to say in any way that your fic would be like that or every fic with this trope is like that, just that I kind of got turned off of the whole idea, so I don't have much to add. Sorry!!

However I'm a huge fan of trans/genderqueer Jamie in any situation, and I've definitely toyed with the idea of Roy and Jamie dealing with an accidental pregnancy as like enemies with benefits (post-s2 maybe, like Jamie goes to Marbella with Roy after the breakup and they Conceive or whatever). "Enemies to lovers but they're having sex the whole time and one of them is pregnant with the other's baby and one just got out of a very serious relationship with the pregnant one's ex girlfriend" is so deliciously messy

[karmabloo]

Idk how many former foster youth are on here but I feel like there has to be at least a few. I’m hoping to make some new friends who have experienced similar things as me and to educate others on the foster care system.

[renewed-outlook]

Narc crash ain’t fun. Listening to Phil Collins and crying my eyes out over how fucked my life is and what could’ve been if my birth mom was still alive. Really having a hard time lmao

[little-grey-dowitcher]

We also need to make sure we discredit and ignore those kids every chance we get. Can’t let them convince anyone that the things they’re saying are true, that would obviously make them so much MORE vulnerable to abuse.

Oh and also any kid that lives in a nice house who says they’re being abused is automatically lying because clearly their parents couldn’t possibly be abusing them when there���s food in the pantry and running water. Obviously it’s ONLY kids in poverty that are abused, no other kids have been abused ever.

Also we should immediately take those kids that are living in poverty away from their parents and punish those parents instead of offering them support. Obviously, taking kids away from their parents for no reason other than them being poor and putting the kids into the oh so perfect foster care system will make them so much less likely to be abused. Yea, just ignore all the statistics about abuse in the foster care system that could easily be solved if the government actually provided them funding.

Child abuse is a big problem, so it's important that we don't let children communicate with adults except their parents and other official authority figures. Everyone knows the best way to prevent child abuse is to keep children isolated and ensure all their communications are controlled.

[starmoon-constellation]

foster care can go die in a hole /srs /neg

(remembering my outerworld experiences with foster care while writing exomemories)

-Raven

[batboyblog]

Nancy Mace went to an event on foster care at the capital, a former foster kid and now advocate on the subject, who is trans shook her hand and told her that lots of trans kids are in foster care and need her support too.

Congresswoman Mace called the cops and claimed he assaulted her and is wearing her arm in a sling.

what a weird hateful woman.

[the-cimmerians]

Today, ProPublica reports on yet another big change that stands to solve a decades-long problem we first learned about back in 2016, closing a huge loophole that allowed states to divert federal antipoverty funds to governors’ pet projects, like promoting abstinence, holding “heathy marriage” classes that did nothing to prevent out-of-wedlock births, funding anti-abortion “clinics” to lie about abortion “risks,” sending middle-class kids to private colleges, and other schemes only tangentially related to helping poor kids. It’s the same loophole that Mississippi officials tried to drive a truck through to divert welfare funds to former sportsball man Brett Favre’s alma mater, for a volleyball palace. [ ]

The agency has proposed new rules — open for public comment until December 1 — aimed at nudging states to actually use TANF funds to give cash to needy parents, not fill budget holes or punish poor people.

One change will put an end to the scheme Utah used to substitute LDS church funds for welfare, by prohibiting states

from counting charitable giving by private organizations, such as churches and food banks, as “state” spending on welfare, a practice that has allowed legislatures to budget less for programs for low-income families while still claiming to meet federal minimums.

Another new rule will put the kibosh on using TANF to fund child protective services or foster care programs, which are not what TANF is supposed to be for, damn it.

And then there’s the simple matter of making sure that funds for needy families go to needy families, not to pet projects that have little to do with poverty:

The reforms would also redefine the term “needy” to refer only to families with incomes at or below 200% of the federal poverty line. Currently, some states spend TANF money on programs like college scholarships — or volleyball stadiums — that benefit more affluent people.

[rmbunnie]

I see so much of "is post-crisis Robin Jason an innocent little sweetie-pie or a mean aggro delinquent" and after reading through all of his batman and detective comic issues post-crisis I think i can safely say he's... an introverted and distrustful, but altogether friendly teen boy who has convinced himself to the deepest level that he is an Adult Man, and also does not hold a particularly good view of adults.

The sweet little babypie characterization falls a little short (assuming we aren't being too silly with it, there's plenty of that in the comedy issues of tec) because it disregards the part where he's a jaded teenager who is constantly going off and trying to take care of his own problems like "his own man" and reacts negatively to any breach of trust or move to take care of him. But negative doesn't mean "violent and rageful." The delinquent angle is incorrect because not only is his disposition peppy, silly, and agreeable most of the time, but assuming the problem upsetting him isn't a predator or the guy who killed his dad (and three out of four canon instances it is a predator to be clear) he reacts to emotional turmoil with Bruce by bedrotting, sulking, communicating through notes, and overall being avoidant. The only times he lashes out are when Bruce is calling him out or after Bruce told him to his face that he chose to look for the Joker over looking for him, and that case of "lashing out" is just getting a little snarky.

More than anything his main personality trait (besides being silly, a robin staple) is kinda coming into this parentified as fuck. Not that it's Catherine's fault, but it really shaped his character, like one of the first things he says to Bruce (after he promised not to turn Jason in to the foster system) is that he kept her fed and warm as long as he could like he wasn't her ten year old child when he started. It's why he views himself on the same level as adults and why he gets all closed off at any insinuation that he needs to be taken care of, both of which heavily inform his dynamic with Bruce. He's constantly checking in on Bruce's wellbeing, like half of Batman: the Cult is just him taking care of Bruce while he recuperates from being brainwashed. (Side note, he's also constantly asking Bruce stuff like "what's your relationship like with this woman or this rogue or the concept of religion, how did that play out, how do you feel about it?" he is Very chatty like that.) The first thing he does when Sheila tells him her (revised to exclude medical malpractice) life story is hold HER and try to affirm her struggle. After a while he starts to act more childish with Bruce (although he doesn't really stop trying to brush off attempts to care for him) but as soon as Bruce admits he prioritized crimefighting over Jason and didn't show up to look after Jason like Jason assumed he came there for, Jason snaps back to acting very independent and rejecting any attempts to be looked after on any terms other than some kind of "equals" thing, which he isn't, as he's a 15 year old boy. Like. He's very sweet to his former neighbor, but also he refers to being a homeless child and the sole provider in his condemned building living situation as "getting by" to her.

He's definitely not. some bloodthirsty delinquent, at least to anyone who's not an uber-misogynistic predator, and he like demonstrably is a pretty sweet kid. It's just that when people say he's a sweet kid they kinda just jump to "untraumatized eight-year-old who grew up in a loving family and just got a new puppy from Santa" instead of "good hearted and curious teenager who has trust issues and is deeply uncomfortable with being taken care of, so kinda just compromises by pretending his dad is a Friend Doing him a Solid and acts like his kid only when he has plausible deniability so he can't get the rug pulled out from under him." Of course. He does kinda get the rug pulled out from under him despite all that. So there's that.

[jharu-thalren]

Ich hasse es ein ehemaliges Heimkind und Autist mit weiteren Behinderungen in Kombination zu sein und alles was ich tue im nichts verpufft.

Wenn ich nicht die nächsten Monaten aus dem Hilfesystem - aus ich seit 15 Jahren raus will - raus komme, und keine Zusicherung kriege, dass das vor Sommer erledigt ist, bin ich irreparable geschädigt und kanns eigentlich lassen. Ich fühle mich eingesperrt und werde es wahrscheinlich kein Jahr mehr lebend durchhalten.

Ich kanns nicht mehr; seit 15 Jahren ackere ich mich aus der Jugendhilfe & Forderschule raus, bis zur Guten mittleren Reife und sehr gutem Berufsabschluss, nur um jetzt mehr als ein Jahrzehnt später im Betreuten Wohnen zu versauern und nicht vermittelbar zu sein. Reif fur die Behindertenwerkstatt, gleicher stand wie damals als Forderschüler, Alles umsonst bis dato!

Ich baue immer weiter ab, ich kann keine Freundschaften oder generell soziale Interaktionen führen, verliere immer mehr lebenspraktische Fähigkeiten, ich hospitalisiere förmlich, meine sozialen und beruflichen Fähigkeiten sind seit kurzem die selben wie vor 2008, ich hab binnen diesen Jahres alles verloren was ich mir erarbeitet habe. Und die Freunde, die mein Pain nachvollziehen konnten, wollen zurecht nichts mehr mit mir zutun haben.

Ich hab ne kack Ausbildung gemacht und extra Reha damit ich eine eigene Wohnung haben kann, Geld verdiene und mir ne Katze oder einen Hund was ich jetzt 24 Jahre will holen kann! Nicht mal das simple eigene Wohnung und Katze klappt.

4 Jahre nach Ende der Ausbildung, grade 30 geworden, tiefer im System drin als vorher, Skills verloren, Gesundheitszustand durch betreutes wohnen verschlechtert, ich stehe da, wo ich 2009 als Sonderschüler stand?! Jedes mal wenn ich in die WG zurück kehre oder Termine habe, mit Sozialarbeitern, geht's mir schlechter, jedes einzelne Mal, wie soll ich so raus kommen?

Die raffen nicht mal, dass ich einen praktischen Effekt aus der Ausbildung haben will?!

Die jedes mal so:

"aber du hast doch so viel erreicht?"

Und ich dann ja und was mach ich damit, hab ich eine Wohnung, mehr als Mindestlohn, eine Katze, irgendwas mehr als vor der Ausbildung,

und die dann so

"warum willst du diese Dinge, Ausbildung reicht doch?"

Es ist ein Loop, ein Teufelskreis. Niemand rafft es, dass ich es nicht toll finde, mit 30 kein einziges Mini Ziel erreicht zu haben, ich red mich dumm und dämlich mit Leuten die zuständig, wieso versteht das keiner??!

[ex-foster]

Former foster kid quote on the foster care to sex trafficking pipeline.

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

Hey can I ask? What will Jade and Ghost son/daughter would look like if they ever had a kid?

okay so this topic about Ghost and Jade's fam in the future has been asked like REPEATEDLY on my ask box since the dawn of Jade's creation LMAO

but thanks to @alypink I finally got to thinking about it and I finally had the time to to draw it! Here it goes! (❁´◡`❁)

Ghost and Jade has three children, Andrew, Jay, and Orion.

Andrew Thomas Riley - (His middle name is named after his late uncle, Tommy) Face looks exactly like Jade, but with Ghost's hair and eye colors. Loves Manchester City so much and dreams of being like Kevin de Bruyne. He has a bright personality like Jade, but has Ghost's competitiveness. A bit annoying, but only he gets to tease his siblings. WOULD FIGHT for his siblings.

Grace Jael Riley - (named after her maternal grandma, Gracie Le Jardin). Her nickname is Jay (Jael ("jay-el") to differentiate her from her grandmother. Face looks exactly like Ghost, but with Jade's hair and eye colors. She's into music - playing guitars and pianos - and loves to write poems. Jay has Ghost's personality and much rather stay in the corners. Spends a lot of time with her grandparents. Jay has some scary ability to make people speak out their hearts to her (blackmail). Her grandma might have some explaining to do.

Orion Riley - A child of Greek descent from Jade's former orphanage where Ghost and Jade often volunteer in. Orion had similar circumstances with Ghost. Orion's father was a drug dealer and addict, and in his intoxicated state had killed his mother. The Rileys then took him as a foster. He is distant and fearful at first, but with the family's nurturing and warm environment, Orion starts to loosen up and finally feels the warmth of a family. VERY close with Ghost and Jay.

Soon after marrying, the Rileys live in Herefordshire, where the SAS residency is. Jade opened a branch of The Garden, and Ghost himself still works as an SAS soldier. Ghost's deployments are short periods, but a lot of deployments every year, so he tries to spend as much time as he can with his kids when he's home, like playing football with Andrew, singing with Jay (however... unique his voice is), and draw with Orion. The way the kids IMMEDIATELY falls asleep when Ghost's reading them bed time stories AAAAAAA.

A very equally disciplined and warm home, they have their shenanigans, but they work every issue out. The grandparents often come to visit and help Jade take care of the kids when Ghost is not home.

Former MI6 black agents from mom's side of the family, and full-on SAS operators for dad and the uncles. Safest group of kids on the planet.

So those are the Lovely Rileys! Hope you love it *(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭*ଘ

[loganelfreeces]

Umemiya's Savior, Shitara Yuki, and the Old Furin (Knowledge and Theories)

Now, if anyone paid attention during the Umemiya's Backstory chapters (93-97), I'm sure we all noticed two important players in it.

Shitara Yuki, Umemiya's foster care worker who looks after him.

And the Mysterious Furin 3rd Year Student who saved Umemiya's life.

I've done a little data collecting, analysing and theorising about what knowledge we do have about these two and what information they can tell us about the old Furin before Umemiya was even in middle school. And potentially where they are now and how they could return in the future.

Shitara Yuki (設楽 優希)

According to this Kanji translator, his name means:

設 means "establishment, provision, prepare" 楽 means "music, comfort, ease" (the tree radical in most Furin names is here, I think) 優 means "tenderness, excel, surpass, actor, superiority, gentleness" 希 means "hope, beg, request, pray"

Since we have more knowledge about Shitara, I'd say he's the easier puzzle to crack, so let's start with him.

We know he's a bit of a goofball who keeps a dorky, brave face for the kids to protect them from the violence surrounding Makochi at this time.

But he does deeply care about and is protective of the Furinen kids, scolding them when they worry him and kindly smiling when they need to talk some emotional stuff through.

What I'm most interested is what he says about Furin.

Notice how the other orphanage worker is talking about Furin and Shitara says "That stings", and she responds with "But I'm not talking about you?"

Then there's Mystery Student's comment about how "It's not like what happened during your generation".

Shitara Theories

From these comments we can all but confirm that Shitara was a Former Furin Student, likely while it was a delinquent school when the students were "a little more well-behaved" and didn't provoke the nearby teams. And Mystery Student could have known Shitara when he was a student, or heard second hand through Shitara about his time in the school.

Shitara could also be a glimpse into Umemiya's future; what happens after Umemiya gradutes? Does he stay involved in protecting the town? Or does he work in Furinen, being a good caretaker for kids like him? Or does he become a teacher in Furin, protecting the students?

But that's enough about Shitara. Now onto the main event:

Umemiya's Savior

We have comparatively less information about him, so I'm just analysing him to Hell and back.

What we can infer from the visual information is that he's a 3rd year student (so 17 or 18 when Umemiya is 9, making him 26 or 27 in canon time). He also wears a chain necklace with some kinda charm on the end. Less important, but he has lighter coloured short hair, but we all know hair is allowed to change in this world (Nirei, Kiryu, Umemiya).

I know a few people wondered if he could be Takiishi, but considering Takiishi is around the same age as Umemiya, it's unlikely.

First thing we can confirm is that he's strong. Specifically that he went to Furin because he wanted to get stronger "just like someone we both know", meaning himself and Shitara.

Second we can confirm that Savior was in Furinen for 6 months, 8 years before he met Umemiya (17 years ago in canon timeline). Savior would've been 9 or 10 years old at that time. Not only that, but Shitara kept an eye on this kid, the same way he's kept an eye on Umemiya since then. He also has a close enough relationship with Shitara to trust him to handle stuff he's ill equipped to manage.

Thirdly we can confirm that though Savior was one of the Furin Students wrecking the town, it comes from a place of wanting to protect it. He's trying to stop the teams and gangs from getting too big and becoming a problem for the local area.

So those are the concrete facts. Now for the

Savior Theories

Based on the information gathered, we can confirm that he's got either a role model or a peer he wanted to become stronger for, who Shitara also knew. This person was most likely also a Furinen orphan or a Furin student. And since Windbreaker does this pattern of Serious Guy & Silly Guy (Sakura & Nirei, Umemiya & Hiragi, Togame & Tomiyama, etc), I'm assuming the other student is the Silly to Savior's Serious. As of right now, we can't really make any more guesses about this person.

It's also highly likely that Savior has gone through something traumatic, in order to give him this outlook on Umemiya's situation. It likely influiences why he didn't try to talk Umemiya down from his suicidal thoughts until after Umemiya attempted it himself. He could well have been putting on an act of indifference though to, in a way, give Umemiya permission to make up his own mind about the situation without someone who "cared" about him getting in the way.

Based on the way that Shitara calls out Savior on the mess of the town and the idea that strength shouldn't be used in this way, and how Savior is trying to protect the town by taking down the smaller teams, part of why Savior could've wanted to be stronger is so he could physically defend the town and have what it takes to overcome life's difficulties.

Where Savior is now?

This is more thumbtacks and string zones, but I think he could be one of Suo's martial arts brothers, based on a connection @101suouexpressions pointed out in this fantastic meta here.

Or if I can be much more cracky with my headcanons, I think Savior could have trained Sakura or is the Weather contact in his phone, based on their Big Damn Heroes entrances when saving a weakling in an alleyway.

One thing I'm certain of is Savior is highly unlikely to be in Noroshi or one of the random towns folk. The character design and the significance to Umemiya's backstory even without a name reveal proves that this guy is too important to remain a shadow in Umemiya's past forever.

He, Shitara and the "Silly to Savior's Serious" character are most likely gonna turn up in an arc closer to Umemiya's graduation, when the fate of Bofurin's status as Defenders Of Makochi is under threat with Umemiya soon being forced out of the role by the Japanese schooling system.

Savior may turn up in a gang of his own that have been opperating under their own banner trying to protect somewhere near Makochi, but not near enough that Umemiya would randomly run into him and learn his name. Then they could be paralleled with the Noroshi, who are the Furin drop outs who never graduated and became trouble makers, focusing on this other team as being graduates of Furin who stop trouble.

Or if I could be self indulgent, I'd say that Savior is gonna turn up in the Suo Yakuza arc I imagine happening in the future (I'll make a post about this later.)

Guess we'll just have to wait and see what comes next.

[leavemebetosleep]

Idk if I'll finish this, but here's a sketch of my "what if" if the main baddies were in Equestria Girls. Note I have only watched one EG movie. Working profiles under the cut, subject to change if I come up with something better.

Grogar: 42. Principal of the academy. Corrupt official. Former military. Big fan of the school to prison pipeline. Not interested in reforming his students, he wants more underground connections.

Discord: 17. Not much different from regular Discord, just without powers. Unless being annoying is a super power. Burned his last school down with a prank gone wrong. Aged out of foster care. Great test scores, but short attention span. Class clown. Desperate to be liked. Folds like a napkin whenever anyone is nice to him. Thinks Tirek is his BFF.

Tirek: 16. Committed armed robbery. Just barely managed to get tried as a minor. Was ratted out by his brother, and they no longer are on speaking terms. Daddy issues from parental favoritism. Absolutely planning to go back to crime as soon as he's out. Tolerates Discord because he lets Tirek cheat off his homework, but actually thinks he's annoying and clingy.

Cozy Glow: 8. Manipulative and a likely a child prodigy. Repeated instances being a danger to other students in her former school. Has been expelled multiple times. Tartarus was the last school that would take her. Has a baby crush on Tirek. Family never visits.

Chrysalis: 15. Disowned from her family. Committed crimes to survive homelessness, but has become more and more ruthless. No one can seem to get through to her anymore. Smart and calculating. Flirts with people and/or acts nice only when she wants things.

Sombra: 16. White collar crimes. Rich kid. Can't believe his parents couldn't buy off the judge. Only one who wears the uniform properly. Doesn't get along with any of the others, and wants to go back to his fancy private school already. Think he's above these weird poor people.