#forgotten not forgiven

[waytooinvested]

Forgotten, Not Forgiven - Chapter 37 (FINAL CHAPTER)

The full fic is also on AO3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lena woke feeling blissfully warm and contented. Late Sunday morning sunshine was spilling in through the curtains they hadn’t bothered to close the night before, and it blazed over the lightly freckled skin of Kara’s bare back, painting her a warm honey-gold that looked good enough to taste.

It was tempting to do just that, but Lena didn’t want to wake her yet. It had been a late night (a wonderful, glorious, fantasy fulfilling night, but a late one nonetheless), and Kara deserved all the rest she could get while she had the chance.

In a few hours they would be going to the DEO, officially so that Kara could be filled in on what she had missed while Supergirl was out of action, but unofficially for the surprise party that Alex and Kelly (long since fully informed about the true nature of Project Atlantis) had been feverishly throwing together to welcome Supergirl back, if the string of missed texts Lena had discovered during their 10pm snack-bathroom-shower interlude was anything to go by.

The sampling she had read before she had given up the struggle to use her hands for anything other than touching Kara had gone something like:

Alex: Can you make it to a surprise party for Kara tomorrow afternoon?

Alex: 4pm til late

Alex: Don’t tell her

Alex: Obviously.

Alex: Do you think 2 dozen potstickers will be enough?

Alex: Lena???

Alex: Who am I kidding I’ll get 4 just in case.

Alex: Can you get Kara to the DEO without telling her why?

Alex: and bring the SingStar?!

Alex: ANSWER ME LULU.

Alex: Wait

Alex: Unless you two are naked right now. Then definitely do not answer me.

Alex: Urgh you are aren’t you. Gross.

Alex: Happy for you but lets never speak of this again.

Alex: Hey Lena, it’s Kelly. Don’t worry I have confiscated Alex’s phone, we’ll leave you in peace now. See you and Kara tomorrow at 4 x

The flurry of messages would have made her smile if she hadn’t already been smiling non-stop since their flight around the bay (at least when her mouth wasn’t busy doing other things that she would never, ever tell Alex about... Well. Not unless she was REALLY annoying).

She had no doubt the party would be fun, and was happy that everyone else was going to get a chance to celebrate with Kara and show her how loved she was, but it would mark an end to their honeymoon period and a return to a more usual way of life. From that point on they would both have to actually attend their jobs and other responsibilities, not to mention tackle the publicity of Supergirl’s return in general and the exclusive promised to William Dey in particular (and possibly get ahead of any gossip caused by their mid-air make-out if anyone had happened to spot them, though Lena hoped they had been too far out and high up to distinguish for a casual observer). Things were about to get incredibly hectic for all of them, and yet Lena didn’t mind nearly as much as she had thought she would.

Kara loved her.

Kara loved her, and she was sleeping naked in Lena’s bed, and it was going to be the first of many, many times that would happen. Now she got to have the real one Lena found that she was willing to let go of the bubble-world they had been living in during Kara’s amnesia. It might mean less hours in the day in each other’s company, but there was no longer an end point to their closeness. They had the rest of their lives to be together.

And right now, they still had all the hours of the morning and part of the afternoon to be naked and blissful in each other’s arms before the time came for clothes and friends and working out their next steps.

Kara breathed deeply beside her, and Lena savoured the peaceful moment, lightly tracing the taut skin above her shoulder blades and skimming down the dip of her spine, testing herself to see how long she could last before the urge to press her lips to some part of Kara became overwhelming.

She wondered how she had gotten so lucky as to end up here, and then, with a shiver, what might have happened if she had succeeded in shooting Lex the first time, when he had revealed Supergirl’s identity and opened the rift between her and Kara.

Without having the need to undo what her brother had done to Supergirl to focus her mind, where might all that pain and rage have taken her? She had already been isolating herself when the kidnapping had happened, and her thoughts had taken a pretty dark turn for a while.

Would she really have ended up trying to brainwash the entire world, just to get over being hurt by the woman she was secretly in love with?

She liked to think she wouldn’t have, but she wasn’t sure.

She was just glad they would never have to find out.

Lena brushed the idle thoughts away and curled herself around Kara’s heat, giving in at last to the temptation to press her lips to the nearest bit of skin she could reach, and felt the stirring response to her touch as she did so.

Kara turned on her pillow to face Lena, pulling her into her arms for a sleepy kiss that slowly evolved into more as their bodies tangled together again under the covers, and Lena decided that no matter what had happened, in whatever version of reality they found themselves in, she and Kara would have made their way to this eventually.

It had been inevitable right from the start.

[a-very-tired-jew]

A lot of the anti-Zionist crowd reminds me of the Che shirt kids from high school and undergrad.

You know the ones I'm talking about.

In high school they'd talk about how the "system was evil" while purposefully being disruptive in class, would barely pay attention or pass a class cause the material was all "propaganda", and would wax philosophic about their teenage comprehension of Communism and its associated leaders. Any history class would eventually end up with them arguing with your teacher. Yes, they would have some good points, but at the same time their understanding of the material would be juvenile at best.

In college they'd get worse. Some of them might continue wearing the shirts and paraphernalia, but others would go all out and start wearing the black beret and/or associated dress of Che and other leaders. They now have a college vocabulary and use it to drive every discussion towards their political ideology. Almost nothing exists outside of their political framework and talking to them is exhausting.

They're also not seen as a disruption anymore, but more as that annoying Tankie who has to go "um, actually" and then go on a monologue about the CIA in class. Professors will either let them do this or tell them that it's not the time or place and that they have to teach. The former gives a small sense of triumph as they "subvert the system" (and we do this because if we don't you become more annoying), the latter causes them to grumble and complain about being "silenced".

Yes, we're aware of the CIA's actions. Yes, Che had some very good points about the role of neo-imperialism in the Global South. Yes, the USA has done some absolutely horrid shit. But what makes everyone keep these people at arms length and/or ignore them is the refusal to acknowledge the atrocities that the man on the shirt did. It's the black and white juvenile reasoning that colors everything they talk about and putting him and other leaders on a pedestal.

If you talk to anyone in the Cuban diaspora they, their family, or someone they know within the community will refer to Che as a butcher. They will tell you about the absolutely horrific things he did as a leader. They will tell you about how this man that young adults are idolizing would imprison and execute them for any number of things that they enjoy simply because he objected to them. The same thing goes for anyone who has family members that survived the USSR or any other 20th century authoritarian country that called itself Communist.

It's the refusal to acknowledge that the world exists in shades of nuance. It's the refusal to acknowledge that these authoritarian Communist governments would imprison, exile, and/or execute all of them and their friends for being queer, speaking out, their writing, their taste in music, their manner of dress, etc, etc... That countries, governments, leaders, ideologies, and people are multifaceted and not this idealized fantasy that can be argued for with whataboutisms.

We see this same behavior in the current batch of anti-Zionists. Some of them are the newest cohort of Tankies who are just repeating the same behaviors we've seen time and time again. However, in this current situation we all have access to information and are able to address things for what they are. The disruptive misinformation isn't as tolerated any more because Che shirt kids are no longer just marching around on the college green in their Communist LARP gear, but are instead coopting a war and its suffering for their Glorious Revolution accelerationist rhetoric.

The adherence and defense of Cold War era tactics, the almost rabid want to implement them, the use of whataboutism to defend your blorbo and the refusal to acknowledge their atrocities, plus the additional antisemitic laden screeds, all the while the world is attempting to move forward from this is downright regressive and juvenile.

And keep in mind, I'm an old alt kid. I've been part of counter culture for decades now. I have patches older than most of these college Tankies. I remember the Che shirt kids and how we stayed away from them because they often spouted rhetoric that was both fantastical and extremely violent. If you're unaware, Che himself believed that to achieve the socialist utopia that extreme violent revolution was necessary (sound familiar?). Not mentioning the fact that often this process gets stuck at the authoritarian step after the violent revolution.

Meanwhile, we just wanted to be accepted for wearing all black, chains, and just being "creepy". We weren't actually violent as most suburban moms believed. So we often stayed away from people who actually believed in violent rhetoric. Not only would it not look good for the alt community, but it was simply antithetical to what we believed. We wanted to be accepted in society and help improve it, not burn it down (and look where we are now, everyone wants a goth mommy. Mission achieved).

The two groups are counter culture in essence, but extremely different. So when I say the current batch of anti-Zionist protesters are just Tankie Che shirt kids, believe me. I've known their type for years.

[6-2-aestheticsofhate]

There's something really funny about Minos popping out of the flesh prison and talking about wanting to gore Gabriel and then Sisyphus pops out and doesn't even mention Gabriel in specific, just mentions Heaven as a whole. He doesn't even think about him. Gabriel occupies 0 of Sisyphus's thoughts despite Gabriel having killed him which to me is hilarious. Nobody ever makes a Gabriel tries to ask for forgiveness from the both of them au that involves Sisyphus basically going new phone whos this

[expectiations]

The Husbands of River Song is not and has never been about the Eleventh Doctor being a deadbeat, distant husband (gross mischaracterization by the way) and the Twelfth Doctor being the "better, more mature, affectionate" husband.

It was about River Song. It was about River and how the events in Manhattan took such a toll on her. It was about letting us see River dealing with grief the way The Snowmen showed us how the Doctor coped after losing believing he had used up all his time with River.

Looking at THORS now with The Ruby's Curse in mind, I get the instinct (for lack of a word that I cannot remember) that the Manhattan incident Blue Roach read from River's diary was not the Manhattan episode that we saw in series 7.

On that note, I'd also like to bring up the fact that the Doctor grounds River and River grounds the Doctor. As Tree talked about in one of her tags, River's empathy is more cognitive than emotional and after musing on it for a bit – considering that the Doctor can no longer go to Manhattan (which may have changed in later series but I wouldn't know at the moment because I have yet to overcome series 7b) and that River does spend time with her parents in Manhattan post-TATM, would the latest Manhattan incident in River's diary be the funeral for Amy? Amy's death? Perhaps even Anthony's? I mean, we already know Rory died five years earlier than Amy. So, knowing how deep River's love for her mother is, it's not too farfetched to say that River spent that time with them. River was by their bedsides as they drew their last breath.

Then Rory's gone, Amy's gone, Anthony's gone. Where does that leave River? Where is the Doctor? (sulking on a cloud on top of Victorian London? trying to figure out the mystery of his newest companion? all while constantly mentioning a certain Professor Song who actually turns out to be his dearly sort of departed absolutely beloved wife?)

Without her parents (and her husband) to ground her, she goes on this maddened, grieving space Robin Hood spree. She seeks fun to fill in the void and takes up marriage as a hobby/side quest. Does she look for the Doctor? Perhaps. Yes, actually. Considering she crashed her latest sort-of-husband's ship onto a planet where she purported the TARDIS to be.

But... she's stealing the TARDIS. She could have just called the Doctor, yeah? So, she doesn't want the Doctor to know then. Well... yeah, considering she has two sort-of-husbands in hand.

So, River would just have gone on from one space Robin Hood spree to the next had the TARDIS not sort-of-stranded herself on Mendorax Dellora to make sure her Water stopped being stubborn and reconcile(?) with her Thief?

Also taking note of how River has read stories about them and knows that Darillium is purported to be their last night together (I could also bring up the fact that this is why I find it easy to digest the "River meeting regenerations of the Doctor younger than the Tenth Doctor makes sense and doesn't break cannon nor ruin SITL/FOTD" but that would take a whole other post). Does this River believe her time with the Eleventh Doctor has ended? The same way series 7b Eleven believed his time with older versions of River has ended? Is this all part of some grand fuckup in communication all thanks to their tangled timelines?

Maybe. Maybe not.

But has River not just been running from her family's death? Has River been running from her supposed last night with the Doctor?

"But River doesn't run." Oh yes. Yes, she does. She knows when to stand her ground. She knows when to charge. And she knows when to run.

"That's out of character for her." No, it's not. She's not invincible. She's this well trained assassin, yes. But invincible? No.

Invincible from the tendency to be blinded by their emotions? Obviously not.

River lies. And River runs.

She is not afraid of her death. She is afraid of the day when her husband, her Doctor, looks into her eyes and looks right through her. And it shouldn't kill her but it does. It did.

So she ran and ran until her bigger-on-the-inside Mum gently reached out and put her back together with the only person left who could ground her. Who she didn't recognize at first but still fell in love with (and would have loved even if he hadn't been revealed to be her actual, long missing husband). Who finally found out their last night wasn't just any night – it was a twenty-four year long last night. Who finally gave her a breather from all the running she'd been doing.

And oh what a night that was (it was the talk of the universe).

[littlefankingdom]

So... I just learned that the Titans laughed at Dick and called him a slut when Mirage revealed she raped him (disguised herself as Kory and made him agree to have sex with her) And I'm baffled at how the fandom always portrayed the Titans as so protective of Dick during this time period, and how Bruce is "the enemy" because him and Dick are not in good terms. Like, Bruce is an overprotective father-figure, but at least, he hasn't mocked Dick for being raped?!

[eloiscbridgerton]

kinda fucked up that bridgerton season 3 took eloise and colin's very valid, very real grievances with penelope and turned it into "oh yeah we were just jealous of her this whole time" like... wtf was that

[starlightomatic]

the absolute gall of europeans to act holier-than-thou about colonialism fuck offfffffff

[pralinesims]

The BOLD THE FACTS tag

Here comes the last one out of the 4 story mains...

Luca!

radioactive sunshine bottled into a human

[ PERSONAL ]

$ Financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty ✚ Medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable ✪ Class or Caste: upper / middle / working / unsure / other ✔ Education: qualified / unqualified / studying / other (expelled from school) ✖ Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes (hoo boy...) / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet / yes, but charges were dismissed

[ FAMILY ]

◒ Children: had a child or children / has no children / wants children (maybe!) ◑ Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased ◔ Affiliation: orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent / not applicable

[ TRAITS + TENDENCIES ]

♦ extroverted / introverted / in between ♦ disorganized / organized / in between ♦ close minded / open-minded / in between ♦ calm / anxious / in between ♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in between ♦ cautious / reckless / in between ♦ patient / impatient / in between ♦ outspoken / reserved / in between ♦ leader / follower / in between ♦ empathetic / vicious bastard / in between ♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in between ♦ traditional / modern / in between♦ hard-working / lazy / in between ♦ cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown ♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown ♦ faithful / unfaithful / unknown

[ BELIEFS ]

★ Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic ☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✮ Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✯ Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ❃ Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✧ Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious ❀ Philosophical: yes / no

[ SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION ]

❤ Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual ❥ Sex: sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless ♥ Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / naive and clueless / romance suspicious ❣ Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious ⚧ Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all ⚧ Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all

[ ABILITIES ]

☠ Combat Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ≡ Literacy Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✍ Artistic Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✂ Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

[ HABITS ]

☕ Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / Alcoholic ☁ Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / Chain-smoker ✿ Recreational Drugs: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict ✌ Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently (he's doing most of them just for fun btw) / to excess ☻ Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater $ Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic ♣ Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gambler

-

The Rules are simple! Tag people and name a character you want to know more about! If you want to let the person you tagged decide who to showcase, then don’t name a character and they can pick somebody. Easy! The person who is tagged will then bold the remarks below which apply to their character &, if they want to, include a picture with their reply!

Tagging @mattodore @diactrl @aliengirl @salemsimss @simkoos @nucrests @void-imp @sweetbeagaming @browntrait @aurorangen @damseljamsel @bunmou @vyxated @the-daydream-archives and everyone who's in mood to do this.

[breakaway71]

I haven't been this bitter about a TV show since that time Supernatural brought back my favorite character eight years after he died just to kill him again a few episodes later. And I gotta be honest, this feels worse.

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

so for my whole life my grandma has never put hot or warm food in the fridge, she always sets it out to cool first, she is so beholden to this rule that she will under no circumstances ever break it, to the point she gets irate if any of us break it

I never understood this, because I have always put food in the fridge whenever I was done with it, and it never gave me any problems

I thought it might have been some theory about it affecting bacteria growth in the food, like she thought it would go bad quicker, or maybe she thought it would mess with the taste or the texture or something, if I asked her about it she'd say something like 'it's just not how it's done'

so I thought it was just an old people thing

but tonight I found out my friend does it too, (this actually directly caused both of our pizza leftovers to become cockroach ridden because they were left on the counter to cool), I asked why they didn't put the pizza straight into the fridge and they told me they had it drilled into their head from childhood to never put hot food in the fridge

I go home and I talk to my mum about it, she says at some point she got curious about why my grandma was so adamant about it and looked up if there was any merit to it

y'all it's not about bacteria, it's not about food quality at all

it's about the fridge

back in the ice box days, hot food in a fridge caused condensation, which caused ice build up on the walls/roof of the ice box, which would then have to be chipped away, they didn't put hot food in the fridge because they wanted to reduce the amount of ice build up, which would reduce how often they had to chip it away

so if you were brought up to never put hot food in the fridge, now you know the truth, and you can put your dang food in the fridge instead of giving the cockroaches the feast of a lifetime

[waytooinvested]

Forgotten, Not Forgiven - Chapter 35

This and previous chapters are also on AO3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please don’t leave me.

Lena swallowed against the lump in her throat and stepped closer towards Kara until they were almost toe to toe.

‘I do want to talk about it. I didn’t realise it until you offered, but I think I need to talk about it.’

She paused again, unsure if she was about to cross a line, but hopeful that Kara would forgive her for it even if she did.

‘Kara do you think… I know this isn’t something I should ask for right now when we don’t even know where we stand, but just for this one night could we put all of the hard stuff aside and just… go to bed? I feel like this will be easier to talk about if we’re lying down in the dark, and also, I just… I really, really need to be held right now.’

Lena had never admitted something like that to anyone in her entire touch starved life, and it was terrifying just to say the words, but before she had even a moment to second guess herself she was enveloped in Kara’s embrace. She let her head find the dip of Kara’s shoulder and wrapped her arms tight around her, squeezing with all her strength, no need to worry about hurting or winding the girl of steel. Kara’s own hold was firm enough to make her feel safely anchored, and yet infinitely gentle, never pressing hard enough to hurt, or even make her feel restricted. She wanted to live in these arms forever and never, ever let go. Now they had started, she didn’t think she could let go, not without Kara physically peeling her off, and she wondered how they were ever going to make it to the bedroom.

But it turned out she didn’t need to worry about that. Kara let go of her with one arm, then dipped down to hook it behind Lena’s knees, scooping her easily up into a bridal lift and carrying her to her room like she was an overtired child up past her bedtime.

Once she had been deposited gently onto the bed, Lena managed to force herself to release Kara long enough to pull on some pajamas and whisk a toothbrush round her mouth in a vague nod towards proper dental hygiene. By the time she got back from the bathroom Kara was already tucked under the covers, her Supersuit exchanged for pajamas of her own and a tiny smear of toothpaste in evidence at the corner of her mouth, though Lena wasn’t sure how she had had time to brush her teeth already.

Oh right, superspeed. Handy.

Then Kara opened her arms invitingly, and all the mundane trivialities she had been focusing on to get her through the last few minutes fell away as she crawled in beside her and fell gratefully into the embrace. Kara pulled her closer until their bodies were pressed together all the way to their tangled feet, Lena’s head finding a comfortable spot resting on Kara’s chest as if it belonged there, the steady beating of her heart a soothing drumbeat against her ear.

Lena curled her fist into the fabric of Kara’s pajama shirt, feeling the hot, taught skin of her stomach as it rode up a little, and at last began to talk.

She told Kara about the day she had arrived at the Luthors’ manor, and the chilly reception she had received from her ‘new mother’. How those words had stung, because she had a mother. She had a lovely mammy who had loved her and wanted her, and had never looked at her like she was an unwelcome mongrel that had wandered in off the street to spread fleas and chew up the furniture. If the New Mother had been a proper one she would have scooped Lena up into her arms and crooned soft lullabies to her. She would have called her dote, and honeybun, and taken her back to her own small, bright home that had always felt so much richer than this soulless, echoing mansion. Lillian Luthor had done none of these things. She had barely glanced at Lena, speaking over her head to the man who was going to be her father as if she wasn’t even there, and Lena had known right then that she would never be a proper mammy.

But Lex had spoken to her. He had asked her if she wanted to play with him, and told her that he was going to be her new brother. He had taught her to play chess, and every time she beat him he had pushed her to do it faster, smarter, again, not seeming annoyed or defensive to have been beaten by someone so much younger than he was. It was Lena’s first experience of having a sibling, and she thought it was going to be a nice thing to have.

Of course he hadn’t been perfect, not even at his best.

Throughout her childhood she had wanted so badly to impress him, and yet nothing she did ever seemed to be quite good enough. Even so, he was the one who seemed to see her the most, and took her the most seriously in that house. Her mother mostly ignored her unless it was to criticize, and as for her father… Well, he had been a good man, and Lena had loved him fiercely, but while he loved and even favoured her in return, he always treated her more as a pretty doll or a little pet than a real person, patting her head and chuckling vaguely when she tried to tell him what she was working on, as if it was all some elaborate imagining of hers that she couldn’t possibly actually understand. Then as she had grown he had started drinking more and more, until finally Lex had felt like the only stable presence in the house.

Not that he had been there all that much since he was away at school so much of the time, but she would look forward to his holidays, working hard on her inventions in between times so that she could show him something perfect when he got back, and maybe this time he would be truly impressed. Only inevitably when she showed him at last he would hold it up for a moment, pressing buttons and twiddling bits like it was a toy, then toss it casually back to her with a dismissive ‘that’s cute Lena, you should make it in pink’. And Lena had burned, and redoubled her efforts on the next project as if that would ever really make a difference…

Kara listened as she talked on and on, the good and the bad entwined so inextricably together that sometimes they seemed like the same thing. She told her about the White Knight signal that Lex had made for her, and how he always answered it no matter what, even if they weren’t speaking at the time. She hesitated for a moment, and then admitted that using it was how she had got him to turn up this time after all their fruitless months of searching by more conventional means. She wondered if Kara would be angry with her for not using it sooner. After all, if she had it was possible that Kara would have got her memories back months earlier, but she didn’t point this out. She seemed to understand how big a thing it had been for Lena to use their sacrosanct SOS beacon as a weapon against her brother, and instead of criticising she pulled her impossibly closer.

‘That’s why he was so angry with you tonight. Why he tried to take something from you in return.’

‘I knew he would be. It was the one betrayal he could never forgive.’

‘And you did that... for me?’

‘Of course I did. I would do anything for you.’

Lena could feel the bob of Kara’s throat as she swallowed, then whispered into the cocooning darkness that surrounded them:

‘Still?’

‘Still.’

Her response was definite, solid reality to Kara’s fragile question, and she felt the change it brought about in Kara as if it was happening in her own body, so closely were they pressed together.

‘Lena-’

The simple two syllables of her own name on Kara’s lips were laden with all the love and complexity that sat unspoken between them, and hearing it when she was already so raw and vulnerable threatened to sweep away what little composure she had left.

‘Don’t say it. Not to tonight. If you say it now I will break and I can’t- I can’t take any more breaking tonight.’

Kara swallowed again, but she nodded, and Lena felt the brush of it against the top of her head as she did so.

‘Okay. Not tonight.’

Lena took a deep, shaky breath, and pressed the tiniest kiss to Kara’s collar bone. Then she moved back from the precipice they had been teetering on.

‘How about you? Do you want to talk about anything? You’ve been through a lot and it must be so confusing. I promised you I’d tell you everything as soon as I could, and now you have your memories back I can do that.’

‘Maybe tomorrow. Right now I think I need time to process having two lives worth of memories. It feels so strange. Now I remember my real life all the human memories feel different, kind of flat and two dimensional, like something I just made up. But I also still remember what it felt like for them to be all there was...’

She trailed off into a frustrated sigh, unable to articulate quite what she meant, though Lena thought she understood – at least as well as anyone who hadn’t experienced it could. On a much smaller scale she too had held two realities in her head, the sudden reframing of her experiences with Kara and Supergirl that had happened when Lex had played his recording like the collision of two tectonic plates. Devastating and transformational, the landscape of her mind forever altered.

‘My head is just so noisy right now. I think I need to let things settle before I really get into it, if that’s alright. If you’re okay with it I’d like to spend tonight just being here with you until it quiets down.’

‘Of course darling.’

Lena tightened her arm protectively around Kara’s waist, wishing there was more she could do to calm the turmoil, at least for a few hours so that she could sleep. Then in a flash of inspiration she remembered how she had soothed Kara the last time her head had been too noisy.

‘Would you like me to tell you something instead?’

‘Like what?’

‘Anything. Something science-y that you can fall asleep to. Like last time.’

Kara perked up. ‘Really? But no, I can’t ask you to do that. I came over here to look after you, you shouldn’t have to look after me.’

‘You are looking after me. You’re giving me exactly what I didn’t know I needed, and I am so grateful. Let me do this for you?’

‘Okay then… yes please, I would really, really like that.’

This time Lena didn’t tell Kara about her latest work with L-Corp. Instead she talked about quantum entanglement – how two subatomic particles could be intimately linked together, the relationship maintained even if they were separated by billions of light-years of space. Kara listened, hmm-ing softly as Lena expounded on Bohm’s variant of the Einstein–Podolsky–Rosen paradox, the hand that had been cupped around her shoulder finding its way up to play idly with a strand of Lena’s hair instead, twisting it round and round her finger as if she was trying to tie the two of them together (as if Lena wasn’t already tied to Kara more completely than an entangled pair of photons), until at last she began to relax into the mattress, releasing the strand and skimming her hand down Lena’s side to settle in the dip of her waist.

Her breathing shifted into the slower tempo of imminent slumber, and Lena too felt her body growing languid and heavy, lulled by Kara’s closeness and the little island of peace they had created together. She tried to go on describing how the use of superconducting nanowire single-photon detectors could be applied in deep space communications, but her words began jumbling into incoherence, until at last she gave up and allowed herself to follow Kara into sleep.

They still had a way to go, but for right now, for this one night, the rest of it could wait.

[silentassassin21]

i better not see any of you calling fearne/ashton a het or m/f ship

[tiny-huts]

[bunnieswithknives]

Imagine somehow David was killed and turned into a puppet, forced to spend eternity with his creations. How screwed would he be?

Ima be honest I really like this as a post-cannon idea, all the puppets escaping and David simultaneously getting to experience the same fate he condemned so many others to, while also kinda getting a new start.

[botanycrewmember]

List of Shen Qiao’s incredible violence that lives in my head

(spoilers throughout the entire Qian Qiu/Thousand Autumns novel)

I've seen people complain that Shen Qiao should go apeshit or that he's too soft and forgiving, so I've compiled an (incomplete) list of the times Shen Qiao canonically goes apeshit/shows absolutely no forgiveness.

Beating up a gang of thugs while blind and threatening to poke their eyes out so they become just like him.

Castrating a serial r*pist. 

Stabbing a man through the heart with a branch.

Taking a group of people hostage and forcing them (with threats of grievous bodily harm) to eat all the food they dumped on the ground because hello, people are starving to death literally one city wall away, assholes.

Pushing an opponent he just killed to the ground because he decided the guy doesn’t deserve a dignified death. 

Threatening to cut people into smithereens and demonstrating how he would do it.

Straight up killing two would-be child-murderers in the span of 10 seconds. 

Condemning a man to a fate worse than death as punishment (twice).