#forgotten middle child lol) <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[bleue-flora]

I’m kinda curious if the majority of c!Tommyinnit fans or people who see c!Dream as The Villian are younger siblings and only children, while the majority of c!Dream fans are older siblings or siblings who have played an older sibling role… it’s just a theory but I wonder if people who played a more responsibility or caretaking role are more likely to understand and side with c!Dream.

Note: if none apply please don’t answer but feel free to leave your answer in the comments. Also if you are confused or need more clarification, feel free to ask me, as an autistic person/overthinker I could totally see myself overthinking this too <3 (but not much I can do cuz I only have 12 answer slots with very limited word count)

[qoldenskies]

GREETINGS…. I WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW I REALLY LIKE CLIPPED WINGS/CAGED LUNGS⛓️⛓️⛓️

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK MY FELLOW ALPHA…☝️‼️🔥

“FIND THE SIGMA, STOP THE ALPHA.”⛓️‍💥

awoooo

[thepixelelf]

ah! love - 3

genres: married life au, family au, fluff, a little... angst? but we know it ends up okay (best friends to lovers) relationship: husbands 95 line x reader (feat. baby doremi line) words: 2.0k warnings: none notes: joshua centric!! also they live somewhere where it gets cold sometimes. I know that Joshua's had a little less time in the a!l spotlight, so I hope this satisfies the shushus[?] out there! this is the first >1k bday fic I've written in a while idk what came over me lol

ah! love masterlist

Joshua saves the day...wait, the night?

Joshua loves his kids. More than anything, though that thought sometimes scares him if he thinks too hard about it. The point is, he loves his sticky little mischievous imps, no matter how many times they throw up in the middle of the night, or run around with food half-chewed in their mouths because they've yet to develop a fear of choking like he and the rest of his partners have, or the half a million other things they don't warn you about parenthood. He loves his sons, end of sentence. Period.

But that's not to say they were his idea. Like a lot of the current life he feels overwhelmingly lucky to live, none of this was his idea. He hadn't even dreamed of it -- even his sleeping consciousness couldn't have been so creative as to spin the love story that led to his present. He hadn't fathomed marrying you and his other two best friends.

The marriage was Seungcheol's idea. But apparently you and Jeonghan were already thinking about it, too.

Joshua had been entirely caught off guard.

He was thinking too rigidly, he realized. Their marriage isn't legally recognized in any sense, and it was for that reason that he'd never even considered it in the first place... but it's still his marriage, whether penned and signed or not. There are three rings on his finger to prove it.

The kids were Jeonghan's idea. Well. The kid was sort of his, Seungcheol's and your idea. Jeonghan had said he'd always dreamed of having two kids -- a boy and a girl, like him and his little sister. You'd had your own fears about children, as did Seungcheol. You were scared you wouldn't know how to parent, wouldn't be able to raise a child in the way they deserved. Seungcheol worried how a child raised in their unconventional family would be treated by their peers. They'd all chosen the life they would live together, society's judging eyes be damned, but the child wouldn't have a choice, least of all an informed one.

Over the breakfast that was long forgotten after Jeonghan made his casual suggestion and vulnerable confession, you and Seungcheol eventually needled him down to one kid. Maybe.

As for Joshua, he didn't say a word. He was too lost in his own head, imagining a swaddled baby in your arms, and you in his. A shimmering mirage of his lips pressed upon your forehead, before he bent slightly to kiss the baby's tiny hands.

One kid may have been Jeonghan's, Seungcheol's, and your idea, but with Joshua, and circumstances as they were, you came home with three.

So perhaps some of this was his idea.

Not this, though.

"Papa...?"

Joshua blinks himself awake. His room is mostly dark, but warm light filters in from the hallway. The culprit? A little boy with one hand on the doorknob and the other wiping the corner of his bleary eye. Joshua can't tell who it is by looks alone, since the boy is all but a silhouette in the doorway, but he knows from the sound of his voice that it's Vernon.

Slowly, he removes his arm from around your waist. It's unlucky, maybe, that tonight you chose to sleep in Joshua's room, and then Vernon decided this was the place to be, too. He scoots away from you, then tries to lightly step across the room to kneel in front of Vernon. "Hey, bud," he whispers, trying desperately not to wake you up after a long day. "Can't sleep?"

"Bad dream," Vernon mutters.

⭒-⭒-⭒

"Bad dream?" Joshua sat up from the couch he was sleeping on just a minute ago, and he watched you whip around like a kid with their hand caught in the cookie jar.

But you only had a glass of water in your hand, and you winced as you turned off the tap. "Sorry. I was trying not to wake you."

"You didn't." Not really, anyway. The couch wasn't exactly the most comfortable thing to sleep on in the first place, which was why he offered you his room to sleep in while you needed a place to stay for the night. Actually, both Jeonghan and Seungcheol had offered their beds too, and it became a bit of a squabble, but you'd settled things by just picking the room offered to you first.

"Liar," you said, and even though the only light in the room came from the moon through the balcony windows, he could hear the smile the word came through. Still, there was a certain tiredness in your voice.

"Seriously. What's wrong?"

A sigh left you.

"Come, sit," he insisted. "Talk to me. You know I'll annoy it out of you eventually."

Another sigh came from you, but this one of reluctant, amused acceptance. You walked across the combined kitchen slash living space in in their three-room apartment, set your water on the coffee table, and sat on the other end of the couch from him. Too far for his liking.

"What's your mood like tonight?" you asked him as you relaxed into the cushions, your head resting so that you stared at the ceiling.

"On what scale?"

"Hm... holiday rom coms?"

He thought hard for a second. "The Princess Switch 2: Switched Again."

You snorted, rubbing your hands over your face. "Not good then?"

"Well, you did have to abandon your apartment because the heat turned off and your dumb landlord is completely MIA." He shifted his body to face you, one arm propped up on the back of the couch to lean his head on. "But you showed up here wearing a comedic amount of layers, so the day had its funny moments."

A laugh bubbled from your throat, and Joshua found himself smiling in the dark. "I guess you're right. How's your mood in terms of..." You let your head flop to the side to look at him. "...a hug?"

He had to wonder sometimes if you had absolutely no idea what he would do for you if you asked. A hug wouldn't be on that list-- it was so easy that it didn't even constitute consideration.

But his heart warmed, because even though he knew he'd never refuse to give you something so simple as a hug, you knew he wasn't constantly the physical affection kind of guy. You wanted to ask him. You wanted his comfort, but only if he was willing.

God, was he willing.

"All yours." He opened up his arms, and you all but sank into him.

You both stayed like that for a while, silent, but warm. He was satisfied with you in his arms, but he could tell your mind was still stewing.

"You gonna tell me what's got you up so late?" he muttered, rubbing his thumbs back and forth on your sides.

"Do you ever think about the future, Joshua?"

Sometimes. But it was always with you in it. "Not really."

Leaning back, he brought you to lie almost on top of him, so now he was the one staring at the ceiling.

You sighed. "I try not to... at least not too much. But sometimes, on nights like these, I'm scared that I..."

He waited for you to continue, but when you didn't, he gently patted your back. "That you what?"

"That I want too much."

Joshua breathed in. Held that air for a few more seconds than necessary. Breathed out. He wondered if it would always be like this-- you being brave enough to speak aloud the fears he kept locked up.

"Don't be scared," he whispered, because what else could he say?

Me too?

No. He couldn't know if you meant it in the same way he felt, and it would be selfish to let his words and feelings out now, while his two other best friends were asleep mere meters away.

You chuckled, as if to dispel any vulnerability you'd revealed. "Easy for you to say."

You had no idea.

"I'll protect you."

"Ah, right. Did you read my mind? We'll have to sleep out here tonight."

Not yet catching up to your joke, Joshua loosened his arms around you and furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"

You lifted your head, a cheeky, bitable smile on your lips. Your voice lowered to a conspiratorial hush. "There's a monster under your bed."

⭒-⭒-⭒

Joshua ends up in the kitchen downstairs, all three boys sitting on the counter since Papa Seungcheol isn't there to discourage it. He tried to help Vernon right back into bed, he swears, but as soon as Seungkwan roused from his sleep and asked Vernon what was wrong, a conspiracy of monsters under each of their beds spiralled out of control. Even Chan got dragged in, heavy sleeper that he is.

Now, Joshua's showing them his ultra-secret monster repellent recipe. He melts an ice cube on a warm pan like a slab of butter, then pours warm water over it. Hiding more ice in his hands, he pretends to pull it from the pantry and adds that to the "mixture" too.

The boys watch, entranced and more than a little tired, as Joshua carefully pours the pan's contents into a measuring cup filled with yet more ice. He then pours that into a spray bottle they use to water the plants and screws the lid on. "There," he says proudly, presenting the bottle in front of the boys like it's a fine wine.

"What's going on down here?" your soft voice comes from the bottom of the stairway.

Joshua winces. "I was hoping I wouldn't wake you."

"It's alright," you say, though he can tell you're still fatigued. You walk over to the kitchen and pet the first boy's head that you reach, Chan's. "What are you all doing up?"

While Vernon makes grabby hands for you to run your fingers through his hair as well, Seungkwan answers. "Papa Shua's making monster-go-away juice."

"Monster-go-away juice?" you echo, then turn to Joshua with feigned shock and a quiet gasp. "Not your secret recipe?"

Joshua smiles. You're always so quick to match his humour. "I know." He throws the boys a look before meeting your eyes with full, teasing seriousness. "But I think they're ready."

Your eyes glimmer with laughter, but you hold yourself back for the sake of the bit. Turning to your sons, you wag your finger. "This is powerful stuff, boys. You have to use it carefully."

Chan's eyes are wide, sparkling with awe as he takes in your every word. Seungkwan and Vernon are equally rapt. Joshua's going to have to explain all this to the more straightforward husbands tomorrow, but tonight? Seeing the adorable looks on his sons faces and the playful tilt of yours is totally worth it.

"But don't worry," he chimes in. "It only works on monsters. It's harmless to humans. See?"

In a flash, he points the bottle at you and pulls the trigger, spraying a thin mist of water-water right in your face. You flinch in surprise, affronted, but only Joshua can tell. You laugh, then look at the boys again. "See? Nothing." You snatch the spray bottle from him. "It doesn't do anything to papa Joshua, either."

Okay, he thinks as you spray him not once, but three times, he deserves that.

"Now, papa Joshua and I are going to take care of any monsters, and then we're all gonna go to sleep, okay?"

The boys nod, and Vernon yawns, then motions for you to pick him up. You send a look Joshua's way, and he sends one right back. He gathers both Seungkwan and Chan in his arms, but before you start the trek up the stairs, he stops you. Each of the sons in his arms get a kiss to the top of their head, and then he leans over and presses one to your temple. Lastly, he bends down and, while Vernon has raised his arm to once again rub his eyes, Joshua kisses his tiny little hand. Just like he imagined over breakfast not so long ago.

No, waking up in the middle of the night to save his sons from imaginary monsters was never his idea. Neither was this life, or this family.

But Joshua wouldn't have it any other way.

[swtsupernatural]

D&S W. || NEVER ENOUGH

Dean & Sam Winchester & Winchester! Middle-Sibling! Gender Neutral! Reader

Content Warning Takes place after John's death, no specific episode, just soon after. Swearing, dealing with John's death & grieving, reader throws up once, use of knives and guns, mentions of demons, dean being unable to communicate his feelings

Summary Angst !!! hurt/comfort for reader - Dad died, and all you could think about was how he died not even liking his middle child. You.

W.C. 2.2 k

Ask anon : Could you do something with the Winchester brothers and a Winchester reader? Where the reader is the middle child and is the forgotten one of the family. The reader feels kind of useless compared to Sam and Dean.

Playlist: ♫ I Love You So - The Walters, Better Than Me - The Brobecks, I Know the End - Phoebe Bridgers

A.N. first platonic winchester reader fic ! wrote this sooo fast lol (I think I was projecting even though I'm the oldest child) also I had to include my fav chaotic old man duo in this one...enjoy! - claire <3

Dad was dead. It hadn't been too long since he left, but fuck. He was dead and all you could think of was how much of a shit child you were. You tried your entire life to prove yourself to your dad; but you weren’t Dean; you didn’t follow him blindly, listen to his every order, pick up on hunting skills like it was playing cards. And you weren’t Sam; you weren't booksmart, you didn't have a touch for understanding, and you weren’t as defiant. Yet, it still seems like your whole life that you were your dad’s least favorite. Now you didn’t have Dad, and you felt sick to your stomach that you were almost relieved. It was like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders and another one had been placed in your stomach. Your own father had died and you were relieved. No wonder you were the least favorite. 

When you were younger, you’d been more like Sam. Dean was Dad;s pupil, and to you both it didn’t matter who was second because you were both not your older brother. You’d move to a random small town school,get picked on like Sam did, Dean told you he’d beat them up for you, and then you moved again. Every now and then shit would go down and you’d spend some nights at Bobby’s — and it repeated all over again. Then, Sam had graduated highschool and left you and Dean for Stanford. You and Dean never went into upper education, it hadn’t really crossed either of your minds. Sam was 18, you were 20, and Dean was 22. You’d been out of school for a bit, trying desperately to keep up with Dean and Dad, you were just never as good. You didn’t know anything else, and couldn’t see yourself doing well in any other ‘profession,’ if you could even call it that. A couple weeks after Sam left, you were digging through the trash like a damn raccoon looking for a note cliping you’d accidentally thrown away with some crucial information about your current hunt. You found the sticky note, but it had latched onto a thick, white piece of paper. It was a job application. It was Dean’s. You nearly cried, he wanted to be a firefighter. You were so emotional because you know he totally could; he’d be wonderful at it. But he’d never leave the hunting life, especially not after Sam had “abandoned Dad and us,” as he put it. The heat of the fire brought you back to the stupid forest you’d bought Dad’s body to. The fire was warm, but still not comforting in the slightest despite the chipping cold. Your cheeks were pink, and you could feel your eyes starting to water. This was it.

You began walking with your head down in the opposite direction of the Impala. 

“Where the hell are you going?” Dean’s voice was gruff, his own head and heart in turmoil, showing in his wavering voice. He never sounded like that. It was so uncharacteristic and gazing up at their faces made you sick. They were lit up warm from the fire, both of their green eyes shining, frowns and dirt on their faces. You doubled over by a tree, placing your hand on the tough bark as you threw up your breakfast on the dewy grass. You heard Sam sigh, the thick, uncut grass rusting, a hand coming to your back as he pushed the hair from your face. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes told you everything. He knew more about your struggle with Dad than Dean did. Sam had always been easier to talk to. That’s why you wanted him to leave.

“Sam,” you whispered after wiping your face, “you need to go back to school, dude.” Sam looked down sheepishly.

“Y/N, cmon, you know I was there on scholarship, I–

“And you were also the best in your program, Sam. Dad’s gone. Go back, go make something of your life, please.”

“And what will you do? Keep hunting?”

“What the fuck else am I supposed to do? I’m not good at anything else, Sam! Hell, I’m not even that good a hunter. I’m half the reason he left to go on that stupid hunt in the first place.”

“Don’t start with that, Y/N.” 

“I know it, you know it, and Dean knows it. Just…I need to be alone.”

“No, you don’t.” Dean’s voice came from your left, walking up at a quick pace with his hands in his jacket pockets.

“You don’t get it.” You whispered, and they just heard your small voice.

“What’s there to get?” Dean huffed, shaking his head.

“Dean, knock it off,” Sam muttered.

“What you don’t get, is that Dad never fucking liked me while like he liked you both. And Sam, don’t act like he resents you for leaving or something. He stayed up sighing and reading all those student aid and college billing bullshit because he knew you could do it. And Dean, he always taught you so much more than me because you actually got hunting like he did and knew what you were doing. I was never good at either. I wish I was the one burning in that fucki—

Dean grabbed your shoulders and pushed you against the tree.

“Can you shut up about yourself for two damn seconds when we're at Dad’s funeral? I don’t need you crying about him being a dick when he’s dead. He had funny ways of showing it, but he loved you, Y/N.”

“No he didn’t,” You shoved him off of you, shoving your hands in your coat and huffing out steamy air as you returned to the car. Your brother’s followed you, but you were already lifting the trunk and grabbing your duffle bag. 

“Bye. See ya around.”

“Dean, let them go,” Sam grabbed his arm, stopping his brother from getting to you. “Even I know Dad was always a dick to them.

“C’mon, dude, give ‘em a break, just for now. We’ll call them in a couple days, it’ll be fine.” Dean shook Sam off of him, opening his car door and slamming it aggressively. Sam sighed, getting in the car and watching the black smoke in the rearview mirror flying up into the sky.  __________________________________________

It had been four weeks. Four weeks, two cases solved, 11 missed phone calls from Sam, 6 from Dean, and now you were cornered in a damn demon’s trap. It was 5 against 1, but that didn’t change how useless you felt. You were never as good of a fighter as Sam or Dean, you weren’t as obnoxiously tall or particularly strong. You always felt useless as a child, as a sibling, as a hunter, and as yourself. Of course this would be how you died.

You were at the point of just giving in and calling it quits on your life when a booming BANG rang out. From behind you, two more shots rang out, knives slashing. You didn’t question it, you just acted. You managed to corner the last demon, grabbing his head from behind and shoving your knife in his throat, killing it. You focused your eyes up and saw the last person you were thinking about. But boy, were you glad to see him.

“Bobby?” He crushed you in a big hug, gun in one hand and a first aid bag in the other. 

“Heard’a some weird stuff in this town, deaths and weird figures, figured it was demons. But, when Rufus and I went into the local police office as P.I.s, they said someone with your description already came by,” He grumbled.

“You know how stupid it is to go on a hunt alone when you're young, kid?” Rufus spoke, as his way of greeting you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder in a half-hug. “That’s why I always drag this old man with me in case shit goes down. So I can throw him in the storm and buy myself some time to run.” Bobby rolled his eyes at Rufus’ sarcastic words, and led you both out of the building.

“Why aren’t you with the boys, Y/N?” You sighed, running a dirty hand through your hair. 

“You uh…heard about Dad?” Bobby stopped the tread to his old car, turning and peered at you with dark eyes. 

“I did. Don’t worry, m’not gonna hit you with all that “I’m sorry, woe is you” crap you hate.” You huffed, smiling at Bobby, “But, I am gonna tell ya you always have a place to stay, kiddo.”

“Thank you.” 

He looked at you expectedly, his head tilting towards you, “...So?”

“I left them after the funeral. I was just…having a hard time, Bobby.” You muttered, sitting in the back seat like a little kid.

“I know, kiddo. How’s about you come to my place and get yourself straight, hm?” You nodded, and Bobby watched you through the rear view mirror hanging above him. Your hair was greasy and the bags under your eyes almost purple. This had been fucking you up a lot.

Bobby got out and opened the trunk, rearranging things while Rufus opened the garage to grab salt, bullets, and gear to restock after your predicament. He tossed you his keys and you caught them with a jingle. You shoved them in the door and finally turned the janky lock, pushing it open. You froze.

Sam and Dean were sitting on the couch. The second you sighed and stepped inside, Dean shot up from his seat rushing towards you, wrapping you in a far too tight hug. He pulled away, his lips in a straight line as he lightly smacked you upside the head.

“You scared the shit out of us, dumbass.”

“Great to see you, too.” 

“Where were you?” 

You shrugged, moving past Dean to Bobby’s cramped, warm, familiar living room.

“I was on the road…hitchhiking, looking into cases, all that.” “I’m gonna refrain from telling you how dangerous that is and opt for a hug,” Sam grumbled as he wrapped his long arms around you. 

“Why are you here?” You asked, settling down on the couch like no time had passed at all since you last saw them. Sam began to speak up, but Dean cut him off and Sam stared at him sternly.

“Cause we couldn’t find you and you weren’t answering us, and Bobby said he found you on a hunt near his place. We got here right before you guys. Y/N you had us fucking worried.”

“I’m sorry. I needed some time alone. I…love you guys. But being around you after Dad, it just reminds me that I’ll never be good enough for him. He’s dead and all I can think about is how he died not even liking me. I’ll never be like either of you.”

Sam laughed; he actually laughed out loud. “Like me? Are we talking about the same people? Cause I see visions of people dying, Y/N. I dropped out of college and can’t do anything right in anyone’s eyes, not just Dad’s.”

“That's not true, Sam…” He sat down next to you on the couch, his knees turned towards you, his eyes dark and watchful. Dean mumbled something about getting you all drinks and disappeared into the kitchen, sensing a touchy conversion he'd rather not be a part of just yet.

“And Dean,” Sam continued, “Dean would rather die than open up to anyone, even either of us, and he can’t function if he’s not drinking, hooking up with some random girl, or drinking. Which is why he’s getting us drinks right now. If anything, you’re the one I’d rather be like. I know Dean would too.” You rolled your eyes pointedly, like Sam was talking nonsense. He moved his head to find your eyes, tilting his head towards you with that face he made that would always stop you from talking. “Y’know, you’re so good at reading us and we didn’t even realise until you were gone. Honestly, Dean and I have never fought that much. And you’re always good at talking with the vics and feds, way better than me or Dean, I–

“Can we end the girly-crap convo now, please?” Dean handed each of you a beer, throwing his back the second he sat down, drinking way too much in one sip.

“Sorry we have feelings, Dean. In case you forgot; most people have those.”

“Yea, yea. Listen,” he turned to you after he groaned, trying to look sincere, well, as sincere as Dean could look. 

“You’re probably the least fucked up one in our freak family, Y/N, so quit it, alright? Sammy and I…we love ya.” He threw his hand that wasn’t clutching his drink up in a surrender. “That good? Can we please drink now and head to our next stop with a hangover in the morning?”

You chuckled, clink-ing your drink with your brothers, and nodding to Dean. He smiled silently, thankful you were back. He hadn’t realized how much you kept the peace and sanity between the three of you. He really missed you. 

“There better be two of those left, idjits,” Bobby grumbled, Rufus on his tail as they went into the kitchen grabbing a bottle each. They sat opposite of you all on the other couch and you held up your bottle. 

“Cheers. To being a weird, fucked up family.”

“Cheers!” Sam gave you a tight lipped, sweet smile. “Cheers to that,” Dean finished the rest of his drink, throwing his head back.

“You kids are gonna kill me,” Bobby muttered.

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

darilaros (princess) │ Chapter 5: Forgotten

terms of endearment ‘verse: see my Masterlist for the correct series order!

Chapter 1 │Chapter 2 │Chapter 3 │Chapter 4 │Chapter 5 │Chapter 6 │Chapter 7 │Chapter 8 (COMPLETE!)

Synopsis: As the second daughter of King Viserys, you experience firsthand what it means to belong to the House of the Dragon. Your family gains new additions.

Hello! My sincere apologies for how long this took. I got massively sidetracked by researching how to bind a book, the interest in which hit at a completely inappropriate time in the writing-editing-crafting cycle, lol. I should definitely be focusing on finishing this thing before I start fixating on binding books. Anyway; this chapter is a little time-jumpy, given that I have to speed through a bunch of time. Also, note that I've fudged with the ages of Alicent's kids, so in Episode 3, know that she is now pregnant with Aemond, not Helaena like in the show. It's the only way to make him of-age in the Episode 8 scenes. Happy (and well-deserved) holidays to my boobear @ewanmitchellcrumbs, who I have graciously given a night off of slaving away for me, lol.

TRIGGERS: continued discussion of child grief, Viserys's shenanigans in impregnating an underaged Alicent (canon, this is NOT MY ADDITION).

When Alicent gets married to Papa, they have a big ceremony. So so many people come from all over the kingdom to see Papa take a new queen, and the days of the wedding—there are lots of days to them starting in marriage—are full of more noise and colour and movement than you could ever think was real.

Her dress is very pretty, and Papa looks very nice in his new coat, but neither of them look so happy as people who are going to be in marriage should be. Papa keeps playing with the ring on his finger that is from Mama, while Alicent just looks like she is afraid. You think it might be because of how loud everyone is being.

’Nyra isn’t happy, either. She keeps you on her lap the entire time with an angry look and doesn’t speak to Alicent very much at all, but at least she tries to be kind when she does. She ignores Papa, and because you are all sitting at the high table and everyone is watching you, he cannot tell her she is being rude and naughty.

Because you don’t want to look at Alicent’s unhappy face or ’Nyra’s angry one, you play with your sister’s necklace, letting the shiny metal take all your attention. It is Valyrian steel, which is what Papa’s and Uncle’s swords are made out of, so it is very special. Uncle gave it to her. When you let your fingers swirl over the ruby in the middle of the big pendant over and over, you pretend that it’s a part of him and that he’s here, after all.

After the big ceremony is done, life goes back to almost-normal. Now that Alicent is Papa’s queen, she is something called a stepmother, meaning that Brella and Septa and all the people who are made to look after you and ’Nyra have to talk to her about you both. She is like your mama. You wake up and break your fast with Alicent, and she cuts up your food instead of Mama, and she takes you outside to play and tells you about the names of the flowers. Then, when it is time to sleep again, she reads you a story. You think that she likes it very much because she always seems sad until she sees you, and then her face goes bright like the sun.

‘Nyra doesn’t like it. She doesn’t like it at all. When she learns that Alicent is acting like your mama, she goes very red like she’s going to scream, but she just goes very quiet instead and storms out of your rooms. For that whole day, ’Nyra takes you to the gardens and to see Syrax and to the library to learn some more High Valyrian, her new sworn shield Ser Criston behind her all the time. She never once lets you go see Alicent to do the things you normally do. When you finally get to be in the room with her at suppertime with Papa and ’Nyra, which Papa has said you all must do now so that everyone can get along, all she does is give you a small smile that doesn’t make her eyes go bright like usual and ask about your big day with your sister.

That is how things are for a while. Either you will go through your days with Alicent or with ’Nyra, and never both in one day because ’Nyra is still so angry at Alicent for being in marriage with Papa. You keep asking why, but your sister doesn’t tell you anything. She just goes quiet and frowns and mutters things you cannot hear. Meanwhile, Alicent will always stop, take a big breath that sounds shaky when she lets it out, and say, “I have no quarrel with Rhaenyra. She is as welcome to my rooms and in my company as you are, princess.”

You think that might be a lie.

One day, though, everything changes.

’Nyra decides to take you to the library so that you can look at more books in High Valyrian. Even the books written in the Common Tongue make no sense to you yet, and Brella told you this is because you are not old enough to learn reading properly. Still, your sister says that it is still good to try when you’re young, so she sits beside you and points out all the funny-looking symbols and tells you what they mean all together. You fall asleep in there instead of having a nap in your bed, but ’Nyra just puts a blanket over you and keeps reading. When you wake, you listen to her voice as she speaks the words from the pages aloud. You don’t understand all of it, but you think you’ve learned more and more since Mama died and she stopped being friends with Alicent. It means she has lots of time for you. Maybe that shouldn’t make you happy, but you cannot help it.

At supper, you see Lord Hightower, Alicent’s papa, beside her. That means that you have to be next to ’Nyra tonight, so you follow her to her side of the table and sit in the chair that the maid pulls out for you. The chair is higher than the others, made special so that you can reach the food that is put before you. Looking around, it is easy to tell that something is different from how happy Lord Hightower looks and how smiling Papa’s face is.

“My two daughters,” he says a bit too loudly, cheeks bright red. His cup is in front of him, and the gold shines red from the drink inside. Wine, you think. It is for men and women, not little girls, and it makes the people who drink it act strange like Papa is now. He waves his hand in a ‘hello’ as he lifts his cup to his mouth and takes a sip. “Ah!”

’Nyra starts eating her food without a word. Everyone has plates with different foods on it, but you have a bowl in front of your seat. Because you are small, the cooks always give you pottage for your supper so that you can eat it with a spoon and no one has to cut things up for you. You don’t always like it—there are lots of lumps and you can never tell what taste is going to be in your mouth with each bite—but it is warm and makes your tummy nice and full.

The room is full of the sounds of chewing and clack-clacking when the knives and forks hit the plates. You pick up your spoon and scoop up some food. There are dark bits, which means the cooks have put meat in it. You scrunch your nose.

Papa coughs between bites. He is still smiling a lot. “It seems like an age since I saw you last!”

“We had supper with you yesterday evening,” ’Nyra says.

“Ah, yes!” He takes another drink of his wine. Maybe he shouldn’t, because he is blinking very much like you do when you’re trying to stay awake. “Perhaps the waiting has made it seem longer.”

“Waiting?”

“I am sure you have noticed Otto’s presence by now.”

’Nyra doesn’t even look at the man. “My lord.” Her voice seems cold.

“Princess.” Lord Hightower bends his head, but he doesn’t sound very happy either.

Alicent puts her hand on Papa’s arm. ’Nyra watches so closely that you wonder if her eyes can make holes in other people’s skin. “I—we—have some news, Rhaenyra.”

“Oh?” She sounds bored.

“Well…”

When Alicent doesn’t say anything, ’Nyra makes a huffing noise. It is very rude.

“Well?” she asks, looking between Alicent and Papa. “What is it, then? Everyone’s acting rather strange.”

“Alicent is with child,” Papa says.

‘With child’ is what people say when a baby is growing in a lady’s belly. It’s what Mama told you before Baelon grew very large inside her.

’Nyra freezes, almost like she has forgotten how to move. No one says anything. Papa’s smile—the one that his words made so much bigger when he said them out loud—begins to fall, more and more with each moment that ’Nyra does nothing at all. Then, it goes away completely, and he’s no longer happy like he was.

It’s quiet again. Not the nice kind—the kind that means that someone is about to yell or be naughty.

“A baby?” you ask. Maybe you can stop the bad from happening if you help everyone remember that you’re still here.

Alicent looks at you, the fear leaving her face a little. She nods. “Yes, princess. You’re to have a brother or sis—”

“Half-brother.” ’Nyra’s lips move, but the rest of her stays still. She cannot stop staring between Papa and Alicent. “Or half-sister. Either way, they will not be your full blood.”

“You are correct, princess.” From the way Lord Hightower speaks and how silent Alicent and Papa are at ’Nyra’s words, you think she must have said something quite mean. He gives her a little smile, one that makes her hands squeeze really tight on her knife and fork. “Even so, these are glad tidings, indeed. Let us all pray for the queen to be delivered of a son.”

“I’m sure that would be of great benefit to the Hightowers, my lord. A son… to solidify your claim to my father’s throne.”

Lord Hightower stops smiling. Alicent gasps.

Papa makes a small noise. “Rhaenyra—”

All at once, she stands, the plate in front of her clattering loudly with how quick she rises. “Congratulations, Your Grace.” She doesn’t sound very happy for Alicent, even if the words are nice. “Forgive me—I feel suddenly unwell.”

“Daughter—”

’Nyra ignores Papa and storms out of the room, leaving her food only half-eaten. The rest of supper is very quiet, the loudest noise of all being the sound of your own breathing.

Isn’t a baby meant to be happy news? you wonder. You look around, but no one here is very happy—except for Lord Hightower. Though he isn’t smiling, he has his head held high like he has had every one of his wishes granted all at once.

“What do you think, princess?” Brella asks.

You stare down into the cradle at the baby. Your brother. Aegon. He is squirming, face bright red, squished and crying. He hasn’t stopped even once since you came into the room. He might have been crying since before you did, even. Aside from the bright hair on top of his head, you don’t think he looks very much like you.

“He’s nice,” is what you say, but you don’t know if you really mean it. It’s more for Alicent, who is watching you from over on the bed. She looks very tired. If you said something less kind, she may cry.

Alicent smiles. “Thank you, princess. Nurse—bring him to me, please.”

She doesn’t mean Brella. There is another woman here, Gwenys, who Lord Hightower and Septa Marlow assigned to help give Aegon milk and take care of him when Alicent cannot. Gwenys comes and picks up the baby, walking over to give him to Alicent. She rocks him in her arms which doesn’t stop him from crying, but she still keeps on bouncing him softly. He is very unhappy.

Now that Alicent is holding Aegon, you know that she’ll forget you are there. Ever since Papa told you and ’Nyra that he was in Alicent’s belly, neither of them have had much time for you. It feels like all the people in the keep—from Papa and Alicent and Lord Hightower to the servants and maids and stableboys—have been more excited for the baby than they ever were for you. The only person who has remembered you is ’Nyra, and so you are with her on most days. It sometimes makes you sad, because it really was very fun to play pretend that Alicent was your mama for a while, but ’Nyra says that it wasn’t going to last, anyway.

“She is to have her own child to care for, now,” she told you in the days after learning about the new baby. “You were good practice—but you aren’t her blood, not really. Not like you and I. Her son will be born, and you’ll be given to a nurse or a septa to raise.” When you cried, she bent down and wiped away your tears. “It doesn’t make her a bad person,” she said quietly. “But this is the way of the world, sister. Men and women, kings and queens… they all want sons. Us daughters must stick together, yes?”

’Nyra was right. At first, Alicent tried to keep pretending to be like your mama. But then, the baby made her very ill, so she stopped asking you to come to break your fast so you wouldn’t have to see her being sick into the pail by her bed. Then, she spent so much time sleeping that she didn’t have the energy to come outside with you, or to dance with you, and soon, the only time you would see her was at suppertime. Even that wasn’t always. And now the baby is here, you don’t think she will be going back to the way it used to be.

Maybe that is why he feels like such a stranger to you. At least with baby Baelon, you got to feel him kicking in Mama’s tummy. Aegon wasn’t here for so long, and then all of a sudden, he was. He is. You don’t know him at all. He’s just a baby, come to take your papa and almost-mama away from you like all the rest.

Brella’s hand on your shoulder is what helps you walk towards the door, Alicent and Aegon staying in the room behind you. With your back turned, it’s easier to pretend that Alicent is very sad by you leaving.

The more moons pass, the more faded Mama’s face is in your memory. You try to hold onto the way her eyes would crinkle at the corners when she smiled, or how her hair would curl a bit like yours after her bath, or the way she’d smell like roses when she hugged you tight. It slips away, out of reach. Putting rose oil in your bath helps you, but only a little bit—and the longer that Mama is gone, the less you can remember of her.

Papa doesn’t like to talk about her. When you ask him, he just spins the ring on his finger around and says, “Another time, perhaps.” You know that ‘another time’ really means ‘never’.

There is no one else in the keep that really knew her like you and your family knew her, except ’Nyra. She tells you stories sometimes, but you don’t ask a lot because she usually likes to tell the ones that have you in them. When she finishes, she always smiles and asks, “Do you remember?” You never can, and it leaves you feeling like someone has scooped out all your insides.

So, Mama fades, and becomes part of that place in your mind where the things that are being forgotten go. Even though you try and try and try, there is nothing that can stop the forgetting. One day, you think she might be nothing more than a quiet sort of sadness, like looking out the window at the rain and wondering why it makes your chest hurt so much.

Seeing Alicent with Aegon is the only thing that reminds you of her. Even though Alicent’s hair is red where Mama’s was silver, and Aegon is loud and angry where you are quiet and shy, the way that she kisses his cheeks or hums little songs under her breath to him makes you think of how Mama would do the same for you. He doesn’t seem to be very happy when she does these things. If it were you in his place, you know you’d be better than him. You wish she’d realise that.

It seems like no time at all goes by when Alicent is with child again, meaning she’s going to have another baby. If it is anything like Aegon, you do not think you’ll like it very much. Sometimes, you feel very naughty for it, but you cannot help how he makes you feel. All he wants to do is make a fuss and take everyone’s attention, and he keeps crying and being naughty even as Alicent’s belly grows bigger and bigger with your new brother or sister.

When Helaena is born, Papa and Lord Hightower aren’t as pleased as they were with Aegon. You can tell because, while they are both in the room when you come to meet her, neither one is looking at her as she lays in the cradle. They had both been looking down at Aegon last time. You think it is because Helaena is a girl, like you and ’Nyra. You decide that you have to love her if they won’t.

She is a quiet baby, but so still that it makes Gwenys worry and worry, even though all she is doing is lying in her cradle and staring straight up. Maybe she knows how rude her big brother is, you think, and she wants to do and be all the things he isn’t.

You weren’t allowed to hold Aegon because he was so disagreeable, which means he would probably have screamed and cried if you did. He still screams and cries, which is why Alicent has to spend all her days with him even though she’s just had a second baby, so Helaena is by herself with Gwenys most hours.

Helaena isn’t like Aegon. This time, Gwenys has you sit in a chair with a pillow under your arm and brings the baby to you. “Mind her head,” she says, tugging your arm forward so that Helaena fits nicely in your arms. “There we go.”

She is a big baby, round and heavy and warm, but you don’t mind because she gazes up at you with large blue eyes that look like they might turn purple when she gets older. The hairs she has on her head—and there aren’t many, not like Aegon had—are silver, and you know that she will look very much like you when she has grown more. When you stroke a finger over the skin on her hand, her whole fist grabs onto it, strong even though she is so young. It’s like she knows who you are, even without any words being said.

You wonder if this is how ’Nyra felt when she met you—a burning that tingles all through your arms and legs, not in a way that hurts, no, but in a way that makes you want to squeeze tight and never let go.

Helaena doesn’t cry. She falls asleep while you’re holding her, her face turned into you so that you can feel her tiny breaths through your dress. It is special and warm and love-feeling like Alicent used to be, like Mama was when she was not-dead. The hurt goes far away, still there but not so much, not so heavy in your chest.

For a little while, the sadness—of forgetting Mama, of being forgotten by so many others—fades away, too.

When you are five summers old, you have to say goodbye to Brella.

All the while you are breaking your fast, she looks like she is about to start crying. Even though you wonder why, you don’t ask. When someone cries, it means that something bad has happened. So much bad has already happened, and you don’t know if you want to hear any more. You eat in quiet, scooping porridge into your mouth while the sound of sniffles fills the room. The taste of honey would make you feel happy, but not when Brella is so upset. Your food sinks to the bottom of your belly like one of the hot bricks you sometimes get under your blankets when it’s very cold at night, only there’s nothing nice about it. It’s hard and rough and makes you feel sick.

After you have finished every bite—you have to eat all of it, or you don’t get to play—Brella takes you by the hand and leads you to the chair. “There is… there is something I have to tell you,” she says, slow and shaky.

I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know. You wish that you were like ’Nyra, that you could say the words out loud—but you cannot. You don’t want to know, but you say nothing, and you wait for whatever bad thing is coming to show itself.

“I…” Brella swallows and looks down at your hands, still holding onto each other even though you are sitting and there is no need. “Tell me again how old you are, princess.”

“Five.” It’s a very small number, but you are still proud because you’re almost a big girl now.

Brella laughs, nodding. “That’s right. Five. My goodness. How time flies!”

You find that silly. Time doesn’t fly. It isn’t a thing-you-can-touch, and only things-you-can-touch can fly, like dragons or birds or insects. Still, you try not to show your thinking on your face as Brella squeezes your hand tighter.

“Being five summers old is a very important milestone when you’re a prince or princess,” she says. “Do you know why?”

“No,” you say. “Why?”

Here, she stops. “It… It means—gods, I don’t know if I can say it.”

“Well, then. It appears that I must,” comes a voice from the door.

You turn. Septa Marlow stands with her hands joined in front of her, her mouth pinched into a line so small it is like it has disappeared from her face. Her grey wimple makes her skin look just as colourless. She steps forward, and the sound of her shoes touching the ground seems as loud as thunder.

“You are of an age to begin your lessons, princess. Thus, it is time for your nurse”—she looks at Brella and her lip curls, though you cannot tell if she’s happy or angry—“to depart, and for me to take over your care.”

The sick feeling gets worse, and you wonder if you might bring up all your food from how bad the pains are in your belly. “But—but Brella will still stay, though? For Aegon and Helaena?”

Septa Marlow huffs. “There is no need, silly child. Their nurse has already been appointed, and Gwenys will suffice for any future children borne by the queen. Brella is to collect her things and return to the Vale.”

Brella has taught you some of the places on the map that shows Papa’s kingdom. You live in King’s Landing, which is in the Crownlands, and it is at the bottom of the map. The Vale is where Mother—Mother, not Mama, Mama is for babies and I am not a baby anymore, you have to keep telling yourself—came from, that it is a bit up and to the side from the Crownlands. It isn’t that far in the drawings, but Brella says that maps show a smaller picture of what is really a very, very long distance.

If Brella has to return to the Vale, it means she will be very, very far away.

You think you might be frozen, like ice. You cannot say anything. All that you can think, over and over, is no, no, no, please, not Brella, no, no, no. The fire-burn of tears warms behind your eyes, but you know that you cannot let Septa see you cry. She’ll think you are weak.

Brella sniffles. “I can write to you,” she says, pulling you closer to her. “And, when you’re old enough, you can write to me. How about that?”

You nod, but her words don’t make you feel better. Paper isn’t the same as a person, not really. Even if she puts letters on paper and sends them to you, it won’t be like one of her hugs or the way she laughs when you miss a dance step or fall over in the grass. It won’t smell like her or look like her. It won’t make you feel safe like she does.

She will turn not-real like Mother. Only, maybe it is worse—because you’ll know that, somewhere a long way away from you, she will be real, but that you cannot have her anymore.

“I don’t want you to go,” is what you say, but it comes out like a whisper, not strong like you wanted it to.

“I know, my darling,” Brella says, hugging you tight so that you can feel her heart beating through her skin and yours. “I know, and I’m so sorry—”

“If you could unhand my charge, nurse.” Septa’s eyebrow is raised. “Although—now that it occurs to me—‘nurse’ is no longer the appropriate moniker, is it?”

Brella glares at her. “There’s no need to be so—”

“Your time here is at an end.” Even though she looks like she’s trying not to show her feelings, Septa lifts her chin in the air like ’Nyra used to when she would win at cyvasse against Alicent. “Say your goodbyes.”

“What—here? Now?” Brella’s mouth is open like she’s very surprised. “I’d thought the princess would be coming to see me off at the harb—”

“That is not a good idea. She is too… attached.” Septa says it like it is a curse. “A public display of histrionics does not a respectable princess make, no matter her juvenility.” You have no idea what most of these words mean, but the way they make Brella sink in her seat cannot be a good thing.

She tucks your hair behind your ears as she looks down at you, her eyes wet. “Be good,” she says, very soft so that Septa cannot hear them well. “Make sure you write to me, yes?”

She brushes her thumbs over your cheeks—out, in, out, in—the way she does when she really means ‘I love you’.

“Please stay,” you whisper, trying not to let your lower lip wobble like it wants to so badly. “Please don’t go.”

Brella hugs you again, her whole body shaking. Your face is smushed up against her shoulder, the smell of her herness filling your nose with so much warm. You wonder if, by clinging on tight, you can stop her from leaving. She cannot leave. She is what you have left now that Mam—Mother is gone, now that Papa has Alicent and ’Nyra has Papa and Uncle has his war somewhere away from you. She cannot leave. She cannot.

It feels like she has been holding on for forever and also for no time at all when she lets go, stands up, and walks away without a word. The door shuts.

She didn’t even say goodbye.

Is it worse or better, watching her go away? you wonder through the cold that settles in your body, in your arms and legs, the sharpness of it so much that you feel like shivering even though the sun is shining hot outside. You never saw Mother die. She was here, and then she wasn’t. But you have to watch Brella leave, knowing there is nothing you can do to stop it all the while.

“Dry your tears, girl. ‘Tis about time your coddling came to an end.” Septa pulls you by the shoulder off the chair. Her hand doesn’t feel warm like Brella’s does. Her stare—fixed on you—travels up and down, her mouth crinkling at the corner like she is thinking about something. “Why she was allowed to linger past your name day, I will never understand.”

You cannot think of anything to say, so you keep quiet. It doesn’t seem to make Septa like you any more than she did before, which you don’t think was very much. The tears keep falling, though you try and try to make them disappear.

“Now,” she says, clapping her hands sharply. The loudness of the noise makes you jump. Teardrops shake onto your dress. “We have a long day ahead of us. The queen has requested an update on your progress, so you will be learning no less than three hymns before the end of the sennight. I should like to provide her with”—she looks you up and down again, and this time it seems like she is thinking something unkind about you—“some indication that you will shape up to be a lady of high standing.”

‘I’m a princess, not a lady,’ you want to say. You don’t.

Septa begins striding away, then stops and turns around to face you. “I expect you to follow when I walk, and to acknowledge me when I speak by saying ‘Yes, Septa Marlow’.” She almost spits the words at you. “Understood?”

“Yes, Septa Marlow.” It doesn’t sound as strong or as clear as when she said it. You wish you could sound less afraid. Still, she seems to find it good enough. She says nothing afterward, just waits for you to trail along after her.

“Hmph.” She clicks her tongue. Staring down at you again, she adds, “And stand up straight.”

You do as you’re told.

Septa Marlow is as frightfully mean as you always feared.

One thing you learn quickly is that everything you do and say is wrong. When you laugh, it is too unbecoming; when you smile, you show too much teeth; when you walk, you are too hunched over; when you eat, you are too gluttonous. You’re a simpleton when you ask to play with your dolls, so they sit at the foot of your bed slowly being covered by dust; you’re graceless when you try to dance, so you practice after you have been put to bed to try and get better before each morning; you’re impertinent when you say what you’re thinking instead of keeping it to yourself, so you learn to let your thoughts stay inside your head. There is little that she doesn’t pick on and tell you that you need to change.

“Use full words, please!” she says whenever you forget to speak in the proper way that she expects. She always raps her willow switch on the table in front of you after that. Lucky for you, she has not yet used it to hurt you. “It is ‘does not’, not ‘doesn’t’. There is no need to employ such low-class mannerisms as a lady of your standing!”

“Yes, Septa Marlow.” There is no point trying to tell her that she’s wrong.

It isn’t all bad, though. Having Septa Marlow take over means that you are now expected to learn all sorts of things, and a lot of it is very interesting. New words, new houses, new hymns, new dances—you start to learn how to sew, how to put letters together to read them, how to count numbers and add and take them away to make different numbers. Septa says that there are so many things a noblewoman like you needs to be able to do by the time she is ready to be married, so that she can run her husband’s household and take care of him and her future children. That is a long time from now, but practice makes perfect.

The only time you are not with Septa is when you are with your family, like today.

Because Aegon has lived past being a baby—and Septa says that babies die a lot from the weather or from being sick or from being fed too much or too little or sometimes for no reason at all—Papa has announced that everyone must go on a hunt to celebrate his name day. You have to sit in the wheelhouse with he and Alicent and ’Nyra and Aegon and three other nurses, but not Helaena. She’s only a baby still, so she must stay in the keep with Gwenys.

It is not a very fun ride. Being in a wheelhouse with them all means putting ’Nyra very close to Alicent, whose belly has grown big with a baby again. Lots of people have lots to say about how many babies Alicent has had since she married Papa, and most of it is not very nice towards your mother. She could only have two girls, and it took her a long time to have you after ’Nyra.

Papa thinks there is another boy in Alicent’s belly. You hope not. Aegon is loud and rude. You think it might be worse if there were two of him instead of just one.

“… whole of our family off to celebration and adventure in the kingswood,” Papa is saying. You swing your legs back and forth, though you must stop each time you roll over a big bump in the road. You stay quiet, because Septa says a lady does not talk unless she is asked a question.

A very big bump in the road makes Alicent’s smile fall.

“Should you be travelling in such condition?” ’Nyra asks. She sounds worried, even though she is no longer friends with Alicent.

“The maester said that being out in nature would do me well,” is what Alicent says back.

Papa starts talking while he finishes giving Aegon a sip from his cup. You wonder if it’s wine. “Well, you will be with your own child sooner than late, and make me a proud grandsire.” He is smiling, perhaps at the thought of it.

‘No, I will not,’ the look on ’Nyra’s face seems to say. You cannot help but agree with her. Having babies seems like such a tiring thing to do.

“It’s not so bad.” Alicent has to speak louder to be heard over the rattling of the wheels and the hoofbeats of the horses. “The days are long, but Aegon came quickly and without fuss. Helaena, too.”

The nurse who is holding Aegon in her lap—Delia, you think her name is—waves a toy dragon in front of him. He smacks at it with his hands, frowning. You would never treat your toys like that.

“You should ride out with me today,” Papa says to ’Nyra. “Join in the chase, while you”—his eyes go to you—“sit about with your lady stepmother. Hm?”

“Okay, Papa,” you say quietly. Proper ladies do what their fathers tell them to.

’Nyra’s hand finds yours. “I’d rather not. The boars squeal like children when they’re being slaughtered.” From the way her fingers squeeze yours and her stare fixes on Aegon, you know she doesn’t mean you when she says that. “I find it discomfiting.”

“It’s a hunt, Rhaenyra.” Papa smiles. It is a careful sort of smile, not a happy one. Aegon’s yell distracts him for a moment, but he is quick to return to speaking to ’Nyra. “How would you like to participate?” he asks her.

“I’d be leaving my sister alone with the vultures of the realm,” ’Nyra says, “so I’m not sure why I must.”

Trying to understand what everyone means by what they say is very difficult—you aren’t sure if she’s saying that the ladies coming along are vultures, or if she’s trying to say Alicent is. You don’t even know what a vulture is, so you aren’t sure if it is a bad or good thing to be.

“Because you are my eldest daughter. The princess.” Papa looks like he is finding it harder and harder to stop himself from telling ’Nyra off. “And you have duties.”

“As I am ceaselessly reminded.” Your sister says it softly, but it is easy enough for you to hear from your place next to her.

Papa doesn’t, though. “I’m sorry?”

Instead of making up a lie or saying that she did not say anything at all, ’Nyra repeats herself louder. It is terribly rude, but you enjoy watching as you have always enjoyed watching her being brave against other people. “As I am ceaselessly reminded.”

“You wouldn’t need to be reminded if you ever attended to them.”

“No one’s here for me!”

Papa doesn’t seem to know what to say to that. Neither does Alicent. They both just fall silent along with the nurses. Even Aegon stops making all his annoying noises, instead sitting so still that he could be sleeping if his eyes were not open.

You make sure to hold onto your sister’s hand even tighter. If there is anyone in the whole world who does know what to say, it is you. If only you were brave enough.

‘I understand, ’Nyra,’ you want to say. ‘No one’s here for me, either. No one’s ever here for me.’

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[starkwlkr]

Can we please not let Reese become the forgotten middle chile and have some headcanons about him? 🙏🏻

anon, ily, as the middle child reese is my man <3 fun fact: i only named him reese after reese from malcolm in the middle lol here’s some reese headcanons for you <3

He’s introverted but if he’s comfortable with a person, he’ll talk more (LOL MEEE)

His favorite movies are mostly musicals

Is allergic to cats but wants one

Ok so growing up all his friends were either the youngest or oldest in their family so he felt left out bc he’s the middle child and some kid told him the only reason he’s the middle child is because his parents didn’t like him so they had another baby and poor baby reese cried on the way home and was convinced you and hugh didn’t love him

dw you let him know he was loved 🥲

mama’s boy 100%

You and reese bond over old hollywood movies so whenever you’re both free you watch old movies

he wants to have a career in film to like a director or screenwriter (my fav nepo baby)

Jeff Buckley enthusiast

^^also the reason why he learned to play guitar

Won’t admit it to anyone but he keeps journals where he writes movie ideas and his dream is to make a movie with you and hugh as the leads

These are the only ones I can think of at the moment but dw reese will never be the forgotten middle child 😭🫶🏻

[ladykakata]

I just saw your post about ian’s disorder and how it distorts his reality and makes him question why mickey remains in his life and you really hit the nail on the head. people rarely talk about gallavich’s relationship battles from ian’s perspective unless it’s to criticise him and I think a lot of people find it difficult to relate to his issues ig? but mood disorders go hand in hand with anxiety, identity and confidence issues. but I also think its a writing issue because so little of ian’s experiences with his illness comes from his own perspective. so it makes sense the audience tends to sympathise more with mickey because we don’t get to see ian’s personal struggle or his reasoning for certain behaviors and s10 is one of the rare examples where he got to explain his issues and the audience still couldn’t understand. sorry this is ranty lol but I’m just happy to see more meta that defends some of ian’s actions 😊

Thank you <3 It makes me sad to see so many comments practically demonise Ian, and while Ian DOES do questionable things, he's no more or less blameless than Mickey.

A comment on my post mentioned that Ian fought for Mickey just as much as Mickey fought for Ian ... in the early seasons. Remember, Mickey literally beat Ian up in frustration over the situation with Svetlana and the forced marriage. Does him attacking Ian get him off the hook for what he did? No. Does it justify it? No. It's context, not justification, which can be two entirely different things. Ian refused to let Mickey go, he loved Mickey and was visibly heartbroken at the idea his man was slipping away, even if Mickey was trying to cover up his own upset by acting aggressively. Stans might paint Ian as in the wrong again, saying he should have been supportive of Mickey going through the forced marriage and understanding it's not as 'easy' as Ian makes it sound for Mickey to just deny his father. But bearing in mind, their relationship was still very young, Ian knows Terry is a disgusting and violent man, but the sense of doom and horror is not the same unless you've grown up with it and lived it like Mickey.

Ian fought for Mickey. And Mickey fought for Ian during his bipolar struggles. Keeping score is NOT wise in relationships, so I wouldn't call this keeping score, more them trading places in who is asking the other to stay or saying they love the other during dark times.

Another point is that this was all before Ian's bipolar condition really started to manifest, so Mickey must have been even more confused that the man who was distraught over him entering a meaningless marriage was suddenly pulling away and questioning his devotion. Emotional permanence is difficult in a lot of conditions, again I am not bipolar myself but DO have pretty erratic emotional issues that mean I can go from feeling adored to feeling like the scum of the Earth everyone hates, and there's the persistent background hum of feeling unwanted that's lifelong. Ian gets a triple-hit in that he's a middle child (younger than Fiona and Lip, older than Carl, Debbie and Liam), he's inherited Monica's bipolar disorder and his chronically unstable home life tends to lead to the idea of feeling wanted by his parents and forgotten by most. I wouldn't be surprised if he felt like his mother just rejected him/abandoned him considering how often she is gone, Frank has literally attacked him unprovoked and it was only when he grew in height and gained some confidence he really started to push back, and he is neither the baby of the family nor the parent figures that Fiona and Lip were forced to be. The people he tends to form relationships with tended to lean towards lust with no real chance at a stable, happy relationship (Kash, a married man with children, and Ned, who is the same albeit Jimmy is an adult) before Caleb and Trevor, which wouldn't surprise me if he again subconsciously thought he was disposable.

I guess I'm picking up on the side effects of Ian's neurodivergence, and it pairs with a comment remarking on how people are supportive of mental health disorders until their effects affect them, then suddenly everything is unacceptable. Again, some of Ian's actions are not justified - I'm once again referring to him baiting Mickey into a physical fight by calling him slurs - but he himself explains why he did it. Mickey looked past it, and I do wonder if he's realising that yeah ... Ian, the man HE knew and who was proudly gay with very little tolerance for homophobia, suddenly turning around and calling him slurs was incredibly out of character and likely another moment of Ian's brain lashing out.

Ian did negative things to Mickey, and he should apologise. Just as Mickey has done things to Ian and should apologise. One is not better than the other. Mickey's reasons for doing things can lie with his upbringing, PTSD and circumstances, Ian's reasons can lie with bipolar disorder, his upbringing and circumstances. But they are still well-intentioned for each other, and I think they do help bring out the best in each other.

[padfootastic]

please say more about jilypad + diverging parenting styles... perhaps even a possible scenario >:) i imagine harry has very cunning tactics for using this to his advantage

helloooooo <3 thank u for this ask bc i love talking about these three and harry. i went looking thru the archives to find this post; my first foray into this side, and really, i’ve never looked back after that.

so i’ve talked ab this a bit before but i fully think that james was a very overprotective ‘mother hen’ type parent. i tend to read his behaviour in lily’s bday letter to sirius as being scared of his child on a broomstick and i fully, fully think he’ll never be able to let go of that as harry grows up. he’ll be anxious and suspicious and paranoid, and his first instant will always be to wrap harry up in cotton wool and hide him away. (i low-key connect this to his childhood as well; going from being spoiled and sheltered to dropped in the middle of a war, black & white thinking, living in extremes etc etc makes it v hard for him to be Normal about his child. as he shouldn’t be, really, but yeah) that’s why he thrives during the initial years; he never minds the hard parts of being a new parent, loves it in fact, and it makes it better that he can keep harry close to him at all times w/o coming off as a helicopter parent (not that the notion bothers him ofc).

it’s good, then, that he has two partners to even the scales, no? i think lily was the most…balanced out of the three. she had a relatively normal childhood, grew up in a working class family/neighbourhood and had to deal w adversity from a young age so she’s developed a nice, thick skin. she also has a sibling with whom she has a v rocky relationship so she knows that kids are, ykno, a bit unhinged. and a little bit of hardship is not a problem. i hc her as needing time to get used to parenthood, unlike james who stepped into it natural as breathing, or even sirius who loved harry on much on first sight that it made up for everything else. ofc lily loved her son, but it didn’t come w the same blinding intensity of her partners and made her feel really shitty in the beginning. but, i think she’d shine during his teen years actually, because she’s not overbearing or intense and becomes the quiet, calm strength that a hormonal, spotty teen boy would probably need.

and sirius <3 our poor baby falls in love with harry, perhaps even more quickly than james, with such startling speed that it shakes his entire foundation. he doesn’t regret it but he’s constantly discombobulated. i also imagine that…it takes him longer to settle into the role of parent, esp bc he’s not biologically one ykno? not like it matters to anyone, ofc, but it takes him a long time to truly accept his authority and place, to believe that he has just as much right as j&l to be there, to parent harry. this has the consequence of him always being more indulgent than the other two; after all, he considered himself a godfather before a parent and a lot of that thinking stayed. he lets harry get away with stuff the others might not (and the little mf figures this out later); some of it also comes from sirius seeing so much shit, and facing so much shit himself, that he rationalises a lot of stuff as ‘well, this isn’t the worst it can be, so what’s the harm’ (because his life has been such a roller coaster that he’s forgotten that not everyone’s like that, if that makes sense?)

its obviously not this clear cut but i imagine harry looks at it like this: if he needs unconditional love, he goes to james; rationality and logic, lily; acceptance and calm, sirius. when someone has to be beat up for hurting harry, james steps in. if he needs help burying a body, it’s sirius. dealing with some asshole boss/teacher/classmate’s mother who’s making harry’s life hell? lily. i can keep going but,,,u get the idea, right? this makes sense, i hope lol

i actually think harry’s first birthday is a great example. sirius pushes the boundaries by gifting lil harry a broom; james loses his mind running after him; lily places an industrial sticking charm on harry’s butt, leans back with a glass of wine, and enjoys the show. even as he grows up, lily and james act as the disciplinarian, and sirius is the emotional outlet. all of them fill in each other’s cracks so well, and it’s only when harry grows up that he realises how effortlessly they worked off each other to parent him.

also oh man o man. harry being cunning is,,,,,see, i’ve not considered it this far but it makes perfect sense. i think canon harry actually had so much manipulative energy and it’s often overlooked for his goofier traits but! this is the same dude who used his dead parents to trick slughorn into revealing sensitive info! imagine if that could be channelled into his jilypad interactions 😈

it’s like, it takes him a bit, because his three parents r so smooth, but once he realises that all of them have certain weak spots, he does NOT hesitate to exploit them. (it has the unintended consequence of truly strengthening the jilypad relationship into an unbreakable one bc one thing their kid taught them is to have ironclad communication going at all times so nothing they’ve said, or not said, is used against them). so like, he knows if he wants to sneak out to a party, it has to be sirius and in a specific way—‘i’ll be totally safe, papa, plus i really wanna see what it’s like and idk when it’ll get a chance to again’. if he widens his eyes to pitiful levels, pouts a little, and blinks faster than usual, then james is putty in his arms as long as he’s separated from the other two. divide and conquer becomes the main tool in harry’s arsenal, actually. lily’s the toughest nut to crack, purely bc she doesn’t run on emotions or irreverence, but harry soon learns that if he comes up with a solid, logical case that proves his argument has unbiased merit then he has a good chance of getting her to say yes. (this is good, bc u can arrange words in the correct order, but u can’t always control emotions)

so overall yeah, you’d think one kid + 3 parents would be an easy bet, but harry keeps them on their toes all the fkn time.

[cleromancy]

while from the doylist perspective the stories are specifically propping tim up compared to jason by doing this... i am obviously still very interested in, and compelled by, jason canonically having a pretty high opinion of tim going all the way back to their first meeting.

(for the record, absolutely nothing in-universe justifies jason having this opinion of tim up until tim springs him from prison imo. he beat the snot out of tim in tt29 and it wasn't even hard and yet for some fucking reason he still walks away thinking tim is a Better Robin than he was? like... ok. sure. more thoughts on this later in the post tho)

so the new earth (post-crisis pre-reboot) continuity tim-jason interactions we have, in order, are batman 617-618 (from batman: hush, this ones a retcon and barely counts, its just jason holding tim hostage with a batarang to his throat; and you might also get a glimpse of jay doing this in batman annual 25 lol but its in the other room so im not checking), tt29 (published in the middle of uth coming out, lol), tt47 (countdown tie-in), robin 177 and 182-183 (post-countdown, immediately after jason dumps his red robin costume and one of tims rogues fishes it out of the dumpster to wear, correctly intuiting *for some reason* that this will get to tim), and......... sigh. stupid battle for the stupid cowl.

(and, since were talking about jasons perspective, theres also the picture wall in lost days. i dont know what issue it is because to me lost days is not "made up" of "issues", it is one book i simply open to devour whole whilst weeping.)

i think tt 29 is the interaction i find the most frustrating because... we have an idea what tt29 would have been like if it were good. bc we have ga01 69-72. and granted Tim is such a cocky little shit (affectionate) that jason simply. Would probably not have been able to scare him no matter what, lol... but imagine if this fucking issue had been good.

ok cutting 4 length

the problem with johns. .......the FIRST problem with johns. is that he regularly has interesting ideas and his execution of them completely falls flat. the second problem with johns is that he can't write dialogue. the third problem with johns is that it was really really important to him that you understood what a Talented And Special Boy tim is but instead of showing you that he just forced other characters to. tell you. over and over. jason is not johns' only victim in this quest. (and johns was also not the only perpetrator, as we will see when i get to fuckin fabnic.)

but like i said i *am* actually interested in the potential here, because i do think there is potential.

and i also think that--at least when you read into it as deeply as i do--jason is sympathetic in this issue. (don't give me "hes beating up a child" crap here btw. jason's only 2-3 years older, tims a peer to him, they could easily have gone to high school together if jason hadnt fuckin died.) johns deliberately shows us Jason hoping raven gets a reprieve from the nightmares, and he certainly was *trying* to show us how much it would fucking suck to be remembered as the Bad Robin, forgotten except to be a cautionary tale, what kind of things that would do to a person emotionally. AND he makes a point of highlighting Jason's loneliness and isolation as robin, and. tbh i dont think the issue itself rly blames Jason for that. (you most certainly do not gotta hand it to him though. under no circumstances do you gotta hand it to johns for anything.)

and while jason tearing off his clothes to reveal his party city knockoff robin costume--the better to beat you with, my dear--was, erm. falling mostly on the wrong side of the line btwn camp and cringe... i do think jason writing his own name in blood on the wall was right on the money, *especially* because it was obviously not tims blood. like, tim wasnt bleeding anywhere near enough for that. it was either fake blood or jason prepped his own beforehand for them to DNA test--but also if they saw it before they saw tim, to make them fear for tims life, as a reminder of the risks theyre dealing with here.

oh but i was planning on talking specifically about like. what Jason might actually have seen in tim that left him with a positive impression. as-written? kinda nothing. lmao. or well the one thing imo is this

just kidding i couldn't find the panelz somehow despite posting them literally like yesterday and i ran into this lol:

>:| got distracted again. by this.

anyway i give up ill add the pics later. but its the exchange where jason has *decisively* won the fight, tims crumpled on the floor concussed and winded, and jason demands if tim *really* thinks he was good enough to tail bruce unnoticed for weeks.

and tim says "yes." hes beat up enough he can barely talk but there's still no hesitation whatsoever. and jason is *really* down on himself in this issue--he calls himself a failure, he feels like no one cared about his death, he feels unremembered. and jasons stated intentions here were to get the measure of tim but i also stand by the interpretation that he wanted to warn tim off of the sidekick gig, to remind him you uh. you have to be dick fucking grayson to survive it. (i dont believe either of them mentions him by name, but hey, dicks shadow is big enough for the both of them.)

i think what jason finds worthy of respect here--and, on top of that, intriguing enough that in robin 177 he entreats tim to join him--is the confidence, and also? at absolutely no point does tim believe jason is there to kill him. not a fuckin high bar, i know, but like i said i do think jason had *planned* to try and scare tim off (just also mega derailed himself by accident bc he got too in his feelings about the statue room 🥺), and... its not a bar he would have expected Tim to clear, is all im saying. particularly because while it is *possible* this took place in the middle of uth (tt 29 was released in november 05, between batman 646 and 647, which is the part where slade shows up bc black mask hired him to take jason out, so tt29 couldnt have happened in the middle of those two specific issues, but there are several other points at which jason could have taken a break in menacing gotham to fly to san Francisco), with Jason talking so negatively about himself i have to assume this is after the end of uth.

(you might be able to place this in the in-universe chronology by if/when teen titans mentions chemo dropping on bludhaven, which happens immediately before the bruce-jason-joker final showdown. however i dont feel like poking around for that or any other details to anchor tt29 to the other events happening at the time rn.)

i just also think so much of what jasons doing in this issue is like--he doesn't know *what* hes there to do. he had a plan and hes kinda fumbling it, not because tim is being especially resourceful but because jasons still licking his emotional wounds from uth, and titans tower is bringing up ones i dont think he ever realized hadnt healed. hes feeling everything at once. hes angry and hurt and full of self loathing but i think by the time tim simply says "yes," jason hits the stage of just being... burnt out. done lashing out, fucking tired, just wants to go home, if he can ever find it.

but i do think that "yes" would stick in his craw for a long time afterwards.

tt47: tim kicks jason in the nuts and pretty much declares them even for tt29 lolol. you may have seen my post about how jason only *sometimes* wears armor in countdown--hes drawn in the armored turtleneck and tac pants in tt47, but there are times in countdown hes out there fighting aliens and metas and shit in his jacket, a *t-shirt,* and *jeans.* just a squishy regular degular baseline human doing this and no one ever brings it up. but anyway. do i think tim would have seen jason wearing the equivalent of civvies plus a domino mask, narrow in on that, and immediately decide to kick him in the balls? i sure do. do i also think that this would make him rise in jasons estimation?

yeah. yeah, i really do. lol

anyway after this! after this is jasons briefish world-hopping stint as red robin saving the universe being a big damn hero and getting paid dust by everyone around him, in countdown; i think i mentioned before in this post that at the end he abandons the red robin suit in a dumpster, where it gets picked up by one of tims rogues. this storyline sucks and fabnic is a hack unfortunately. the rogue did it bc he wants tims attention or whatever. not important except for how irritating it is that fabnic fumbled a concept this juicy (tim inheriting and eventually purposely adopting The Bad Robin Mantle) which is also further fumbled by stupid battle for the stupid cowl, and the people who it falls to to salvage it are. johns again, in adventure comics 3, and yost, who is a better writer than johns or fabnic but not by like a huge margin.

and while i do think tim having a bad opinion of jason at this point was inevitable i find it so frustrating the way it was executed... like so often with Bad Tim Writing and also fuckin DC Editorial's Jason Slander Agenda shit it wasn't because in-universe thats how the characters would feel, the writer was using tim as a mouthpiece, and jasons competence and things he cares about arent taken seriously... BUT WHATEVER the point is that when Tim goes to stop Jason from his villainous scheme to reduce crime or whatevr jason has such a high opinion of him that he asks tim to join him:

and jasons loneliness, his desperation to be heard, is such a theme for him in the new earth/post crisis era and i wish it had been. Handled better lol are you noticig a theme here its that Jason has been written badly. (tim too, tbh.) and when tim says no jasons dejected but unsurprised acceptance breaks my heart. but to me the most interesting part of jasons appearance at the end of tims robin series is in 182, when tim--for absolutely no good reason--gives jason the means to break out of prison.

he says something about how its what Bruce would have wanted, but for. reasons i wont get too deeply into rn, that absolutely does not hold water.

anyway i just think there's no way jason doesn't start crushing on tim at least a little at this point. shrug.

bftc sucks and i dont want to look at it rn. but its also got examples of jasons high opinion of tim. and also im mad at it bc both countdown AND his appearances in robin feel like they could have been taking jason to a like. more of an antihero type of role and then we get bftc and morrison and its kind of. fucking hard to get jason anywhere near back on track after that for those of us who still like playibg in the post-crisis pre-reboot sandbox. and i wouldnt be mad about that if bftc had been good bc Jason absolutely does make an incredibly interesting and effective and tragic antagonist when handled well but well. he wasnt. and i have no idea what bftc would.have even been like if it was good bc it was so off the wall and dumb and assassinated actually *everyones* characters. so.

anyway

im just going to roll back to robin 183 now

jasons referring to the damage tim got when he got a little bit exploded in 180, this pretty nasty burn on the back of his head, which was actually why he wore jasons RR cowl for the first time (he was still robin). but what you do see here--aside from Tims narration which puts him *firmly* on the side of obnoxiously arrogant and judgmental instead of charmingly cocky in this issue, to my estimation, thanks for nothing fabnic--is the two of them on firmly cordial terms. jason still thinks more highly than tim does of him, but theyre asking each other about their injuries... tim caring about the wellbeing of people he doesn't even like is par for the course with him, ofc, but once again Jason doesn't really get that a whole lot. constantly haunted by this panel from countdown btw:

does he though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

here is another jaytim preboot canon interactions post from a few months ago with some more thoughts, some repeated lol.

anyway. incoherent rambling complete for now. however. jaytim time is all the time 👍 i will revisit this.

[arthurlightstar]

1 and 3 for durgetash asks! I LOVE the full backstory stuff 🌝

okay okay okay. okay 1. What’s Durges creation myth? Not the ‘and then there was a gore baby’. Give me the details, what did Bhaal actually do for Durge to torment Toril in a few years?

I don't have too many thoughts on this, but my fun thought is that I like to think Bhaal created Arthur in his own image. Sort of. (Full disclaimer I'm trying to learn but I dont know much forgotten realms lore so if I has a canon mortal appearance I don’t know it <3) but I like to think that Arthur looks remarkably like Bhaal did when he was mortal. The way I see it….. Arthur’s kind of…..Bhaal’s human sona / self insert oc. He made himself but cooler. Bhaal but like, a little more hot a little more buff better hair. Etc etc.

Some character design thoughts Arthur’s just supposed to be very conventionally attractive. Like to get the vibe across if I think if he was in a movie today I think Chris Evans should play him. Arthur’s got Ransom from Knives Out vibes.

3. Was kid Durge a usual child before the Urge awakened or were there some signs indicating smth was off about the kid? How did the environment react to them?

Okay using this as an opportunity to soapbox about Eliander's family! (They are all high elves except Agnes who is a half-elf). Eliánder was dropped off at the temple of Ilmater in Rivington as a baby, and adopted by Thranduin Daenan and Alea Daenan. Thranduin ran a clothing store in the upper city but was in the process of being run out of his business. Eliander never got along well with his dad, but when his mother died things hie relationship really deteriorated. Thranduin was a very traditional upstanding elf, and Eliander rebelled against him by acting out as much as he could. Thranduin was trying to train him to take up the family buisness, but when Agnes grew up, he began to hand off the business to her.

Eliander also had a complicated relationship with his sister. Because half-elves age much faster than elves (im going by just standard dnd lore here lol that elves reach maturity at 100) he was a very protective big sister of her when she was a baby. Thranduin was not a.... super involved father, and so 50 year old Eliander took it upon himself to raise Agnes. Agnes quickly outgrew Eliander, and by the time he was 75, she was a 25 year old adult while he was still emotionally a 16 year old. They both care very very deeply about each other, but their relationship was complicated.

To answer the ACTUAL question - Eliánder got in a lot of fights growing up. He would start a lot of fights by insulting people, and picked a lot of fights that he didn't have a chance of winning. He always got in a lot of trouble with his dad over this. He never killed any animals, but he has a memory of waking up not too far outside his house in the middle of his sleep chasing a cat down an alleyway. But otherwise he was a very normal kid :-)

[katyahina]

A compillation of Bloodborne characters data and model bits

I just decided to put as many bits about Bloodborne chaarcters as possible in one post, so to not have to check multiple folders every time I want to draw a character, but I thought it could be handy for other artists/writers! The following references feature the data mostly gathered by awesome Zullie the Witch but maybe also some others. I use the NPC data for the characters but also some model references, all put in one post.

1) Here are all the exact colors from NPC data gathered on one image.

They are gathered from this ( x ) sliders page, all in one image for the convenience. The white hovering effect over eyes color means ‘clouded’ eyes effect that the player cannot access in normal character creation, and the X mean that hair is missing (I did not count ‘bald’ eyelashes variant as one though).

1.1)  Almost all characters with brown skin have strange ‘reddish grey’ eye colors. Such characters are Henryk, Djura’s Ally, Yahar’gul hunter with Cannon and Ludwig’s Riffle, Yahar’gul character with Threaded Cane that uses Tiny Tonitrus (and ambushes you from the corner like a rat lol), Olek, Simon, Djura’s Apprentice and Yahar’gul hunter that’s trapped in Church’s chambers.

Exceptions are Afflicted Beggar who instead has hazel eyes and Yahar’gul Hunters that use Tonitrus (in Cathedral Ward) and one that uses Beast’s Claw, who instead have simply grey eyes (and share face data).  Interestingly, this red-grey color appears to be exclusive for characters with brown skin.

1.2) Adella’s hair is dark brown, not black. It is hard to see even on this image.

1.3) Tomb Prospectors have strange skin tones. Josef and Forgotten Madman have more purpl-ish skin tone, with his escord having it too but closer to blue on the color spectrum, Vitus and Queen Killer have greenish skin, Wallar has bluish skin. Olek seems to be the only one with realistic skin tone, it is simply dark olive / brown.

1.4) Plenty of characters have no eyebrows. So yeah, this might disqualify some of the above. These characters are: Djura, Djura’s Ally, Yahar’gul Hunters that use Claw and Tonitrus (idential), Micolash, Hunter of Despair (Black Church one), Edgar, Olek, Josef, Queen Killer, Afflicted Beggar, Unused Vileblood, Valtr, Brador, Damian, Yahar’gul hunter in Nightmare, Doctor in Research Hall, Antal, Vitus and Wallar. I have no idea what they all had to smoke to get their eyebrows fall out, lmao

2) Arianna’s hair lose color after she births a child, and her eyes are dark pink. Arianna has three face data - normal, after Bloodmoon, and after birth. In the Bloodmoon she just gets slightly paler, more sickly colored skin and lips and loses her blush, but after birth her skin gets MUCH paler, hair loses color and eyes get ‘clouded’ effect.

This eye color is not the same as reddish grey one from previous example, it is more saturated.

3) The most buff character is a Yahar’gul hunter with Cannon+Rifle. He is the only NPC of all who has all body scale stats (except for ‘head’) set to maximum 255. Queen Killer has only ‘chest’ and ‘abdomen’ set to 255, and Alfred has ‘abdomen’ on 255 but ‘chest’ only on 212. Yes, random hunters have way more of a male tiddy than Alfred.

4) Arianna is more flat than Adella. Yeah, it is a bit goofy remark, since ‘chest’ slider for Bloodborne NPCs is just chest width and not breasts size, but it could be interpreted as such. There are generally two types of ‘chest’ slider for female characters: the smallest 0 (Iosefka+Imposter, Arianna, Yurie) and the middle meaning 128 (Adella, Black Church Hunter, White Church Hunter, Henriett). Lonely Old Dear is a special case and has slider set to 192 (the largest).

5) Simon might actually lack eyes. MIGHT. Simon’s face data has two vertical stripes both going through where his eyes are. Djura is strongly implied to miss an eye where his face data has a scar going through where his eye is covered with bandages. It seems like developers can distort characters’ faces but not remove eyes, as you can see that despite implications, Djura’s data has both eyes. In either case, Simon has those strange scars for some reason.

6) Henryk and Afflicted Beggar share absolutely identical mole on the right side of their nose.

7) Edgar’s glasses are supposed to be round. But because his forehead/brows lean so strongly down, it causes glasses model to bend to avoid clipping, so it is a bit flattened at the top. Sure, it provides for a more unique glasses shapes, but... from technical standpoint bro frowned SO hard that his glasses frown too. xD

8) The ridge of Yamamura’s glasses is dark red.

9) Besides the eye colors shown in NPC data, there is some more. Willem’s eyes are grey, Maria’s eyes are greyish green and very pale, Gehrman has emerald eyes, and older daughter of Gascoigne and Viola seems to have greyish green eyes too. Ludwig appears to have his right eye blind and his left eye having its pupil so enlarged that it obscures the iris.

(Sources for models are Sinclair vid ( x ) and datamined corpses page ( x ))

9.1) Micolash has brown eyes in NPC data, but blue in cutscene model.

10) Some characters have interesting unused items equipped. Simon has Fist of Gratia and throwing knives equipped both of which he never uses, Yamamura has throwing knives that he never uses, Crow of Cainhurst has Hunter’s Bone (heavily implied to be Maria’s) and Executioner’s Glove that he never uses.

10.1) Simon only has throwing knives in Fishing Hamlet. Within lore, they are associated with Henryk. I personally do not see any other reasons for the developers to add them in this specific condition to the character that won’t even fight you, besides for the dataminers to conclude Henryk was likely participating in Fishing Hamlet massacre too. But heeey it is just a the-

11) Some interesting stats as NPCs. I am going to list every stat from the highest to lowest in order. Some characters have different stats depending on their questline and/or summoning location though; for such cases I only used the highest stat possible.

Blood Level (murder level??):  #1: Bestial hunter (234) #2: Olek (176) #3: Queen Killer (174) #4: Wallar (170) #5: Yamamura + Brador (162) #6: Yahar’gul hunter in Nightmare (157) #7: Gremia, Damian and Vitus (150) #8: Josef (146) #9 Djura’s apprentice and White Church doctor lady (145) #10: Black Church female hunter (143) #11: Black church doctor (121) #12 Simon (116) #13: Valtr (90) #14: Crow (88) #15: Henryk (81) #16: Madaras Twin (80) #17: Henriett (75) #18: Antal (72) #19: Edgar (68) #20: Alfred and Eileen (65) #21: Yahar’gul trio that ambushes you (60) #22: Micolash and Yurie (50) #23: two Hunters of Despair and Imposter Iosefka (46) #24: Suspicious Beggar (42) #25: Yahar’gul hunters that guard the entrance to Yahar’gul chapel (40) #26: Djura (30) #27: Djura’s ally (18) #28: Hostile Tomb Prospectors, Izzy’s Admirer, Forgotten Madman, Madman’s Escort, Bone Ash Hunter, Hostile Executioner, Unused Vileblood (10) #29: Annalise, Iosefka, Skeptical Man, Lonely Old Dear, Arianna, Adella (1)

Vitality: #1: Olek (65) #2: Wallar (63) #3: Queen Killer (55) #4: Vitus (53) #5: Damian, Simon, Crow and Micolash (50) #5: Gremia and Brador (49) #6: Valtr (48) #7: Josef (47) #8: Black Church female hunter (45) #9: Yamamura and Yahar’gul hunter in the Nightmare (44) #10: Djura’s apprentice and Antal (42) #Edgar (41) #12: Henriett, Alfred, Eileen and Bestial Hunter (40) #13: Yahar’gul trio that ambushes you (37) #14 Black Church doctor lady (36) #15: Yurie (33) #16: Imposter Iosefka (32) #17: Suspicious Beggar (31) #18: Henryk and Madaras Twin (30) #19: Djura (26) #20: White Church Doctor lady 25) #21 Unused Vileblood and Yahar’gul hunter in Cathedral Ward that uses Tonitrus (20) #22: Djura’s ally (19) #23: Yahar’gul hunter with the Rifle (15) #24: Two hunters of Despair (13) #25: Annalise, Iosefka, Skeptical man, Lonely old dear, Arianna, Adella, Hostile tomb prospectors, Izzy’s Admirer, Forgotten Madman, Madman’s Escort, Bone Ash hunter, Hostile Executioner (10)

Stamina: #1: Bestial hunter (80) #2: White Church Doctor lady (50) #3: Wallar and Brador (45) #4: Queen Killer and Josef (43) #5: Olek (41) #6: Damian (38) #7: Gremia (35) #8: Djura’s Apprentice (34) #9: Vitus (33) #10: Black Church doctior (30) #11: Yahar’gul hunter in the Nightmare (29) #12: Valtr (24) #13: Simon and Crow (21) #14: Henriett (20) #15: Black church hunter lady, Yamamura, Yahar’gul trio that ambushes you, Micolash, Edgar, Yurie, Eileen and Alfred (19) #16: Imposter Iosefka, Henryk, Two hunters of despair, Madaras Twin and Antal (18) #17: Suspicious beggar, Djura and two Yahar’gul hunters at the Cathedral ward (17) #18: Djura’s ally (16) #19: Hostile Tomb Prospectors, Izzy’s Admirer, Forgotten Madman, Madman’s Escort, Bone Ash hunter, Unused vileblood and Hostile executioner (15) #20: Annalise, Iosefka, Skeptical man, Lonely old dear, Arianna and Adella (12)

Strengtht:  #1: Bestial Hunter (60), #2: Micolash and Crow (50), #3: Yahar’gul hunter in the Nightmare, Brador and Yamamura (45), #4: Edgar (42) #5: Alfred (40) #6: Yahar’gul hunter withe the claw (38) #7: Valtr (36), #8: Djura’s apprentice, Queen Killer, Madaras Twin and Black Church female hunter (35) #9: Henryk, Olek, Josef and Yharnam Hunter of despair (31) #10: Black Church Doctor (30) #11: Suspicious Beggar (29) #12: Henriett and Yahar’gul hunter in CW with Tonitrus (28), #13: Gremia (27) #14: Djura (24) #15: Hostile executioner, Vitus and Wallar (25) #16: Damian (21) #17: Hostile Tomb Prospectors, Izzy’s Admirer, Forgotten Madman, Madman’s escort, Bone Ash hunter and nameless vileblood (20), #18: White Church doctor lady (15), #19: Eileen and Yahar’gul hunter with the cane and tiny Tonitrus (the rat behind the wall one) (14), #20: Imposter Iosefka,Yurie and Hunter of Despair from Black Church (13) #21: Annalise, Iosefka, Skeptical man, Lonely old dear, Arianna, Adella, Antal and Yahar’gul hunter with the Rifle (12) #22: Djura’s ally #23: Simon

Skill:  #1: Micolash (50), #2: Bestial Hunter, Yamamura and Yahar’gul hunter in the Nightmare (45), #3: Eileen and Black Church female hunter (40), #4: Yahar’gul Hunter with the cannon and Yahar’gul hunter with the cane (the FUCKIN rat one!) (38) #5: Simon (35), #6: Yurie and Vitus (33), #7: Imposter Iosefka, Black Church hunter of despair and Gremia (31), #8: Brador, White Church doctor lady, Black Church doctor and Djura’s disciple (30),#9: Josef and Olek (29), #10: Yahar’gul hunter with the Rifle (28), #11: Madaras twin and Wallar (27), #12: Antal (26), #13: Queen Killer (25), #14: Djura’s ally, Damian, Hostile tomb prospectors, Izzy’s Admirer, Forgotten Madman, Madman’s escort, Bone Ash hunter, Unused Vileblood and hostile executioner (20), #15: Crow (15), #16: Alfred, Edgar and Yahar’gul hunter with the claw (14), #17: Suspicious beggar, Henryk, Yharnam Hunter of despair and Valtr (13), #18: Yahar’gul hunter with Tonitrus (12), #19: Djura (11), #20: Annalise, Iosefka, Skeptical Man, Lonely old dear, Arianna, Adella and Henriett (10)

Bloodtinge:  #1: Micolash and Crow (50), #2: Yamamura and Bestial Hunter (45), #3: Edgar (42), #4: Eileen, Black Church female hunter and Djura’s Apprentice (40), #5: The trio that ambushes you in Yahar’gul (38), #6: Brador, Simon and Yahar’gul hunter with the Rifle (35), #7: Yurie (33), #8: Imposter Iosefka, Henryk, Two hunters of despair, Olek, Queen Killer and Vitus (31), #9: White church doctor lady, Yahar’gul hunter in the Nightmare, Black Church doctor and unused vileblood (30), #10: Wallar (29), #11: Gremia (25), #12: Djura (24), #13: Josef (23), #14: Damian (21), #15: Djura’s Ally, Hostile tomb prospectors, Izzy’s Admirer, Forgotten Madman, Madman’s Escort, Bone Ash hunter, Hostile Executioner (20), #15: Henriett (14), #16: Madaras Twin (12), #17: Antal (10), #18: Alfred and Yahar’gul hunter with Tonitrus (9), #19: Annalise, Iosefka, Skeptical man, Lonely old dear, Suspicious beggar, Arianna and Adella (6), #20: Valtr (5)

Arcane:  #1: Micolash and Damian (50), #2: White Church Doctor lady (45), #3: Edgar (42), #4: Imposter Iosefka and Alfred (40), #5: Yahar’gul hunter with the cane (he IS a rat tho) (38), #6: Queen Killer (35), #7: Yurie and Wallar (33), Gremia and Both Hunters of despair (31), #8: Olek (29), #9: Vitus (25), #10: Josef (23), #11: Hostile Tomb prospectors, Izzy’s admirer, Forgotten Madman, Madman’s escort, Bone Ash hunter, Unused vileblood and hostile executioner (20) #12: Simon and Black Church doctor (15), #13: Yahar’gul hunter with the claw, Valtr, Beastial Hunter, Black Church female hunter, Yamamura, Yahar’gul hunter in the Nightmare, Antal and Djura’s apprentice (14); #14: Henriett (13), #15: Annalise, Iosefka, Skeptical man, Lonely old dear, Suspicious beggar, Arianna, Adella, Eileen, Djura, Djura’s ally, Yahar’gul hunter with the cannon, Henryk, Crow, the two Yahar’ful hunters in CW, Brador and Madaras Twin (8)

(All stats are from this ( x ) page)

11.1) Micolash has all stats at the decent 50, except for the stamina that he only has at 19. Ironic for someone whose entire battle is running...

11.2) Bestial hunter ABSOLUTELY kicks ass as you can tell.

12) Some summons were canned. Such as: Djura (unknown boss), Yamamura (against Ludwig), Antal (unknown) and Bone Ash Hunter Carla (unknown).

11.3) You were supposed to find Henriett dead. Guess that was a way to explain her appearing in the Nightmare. Also, there is a secret catherdal ward NPC that you were supposed to find dying.

12) Some characters drastically change stats when you don’t see them. Such characters are: Alfred (from 33 to 65 blood level), Eileen (30 to 65) and Simon (97 to 116). Basically they were killing while being left to do their own ways, I just step in here to appreciate the attention to the details.

That’s all yet, I think! I might have made some mistakes (especially at the point 11) so if you spot any you guys tell me! But uhhh I think I actually gave my strongest attention span to all these numbers, so it must work :pensive:

[tarisilmarwen]

Rebels Rewatch: "The Forgotten Droid"

Chopper goes on an adventure and makes a friend!

Already putting our Quasar to good use I see.

And Hera's using the map data from the ritual in "Legends of the Lasat", nice nice, love that that little element came back.

Hi Ketsu, not that it's not nice to see you but again I am sorely missing the legwork behind why you're buddy-buddy with the actual legit Rebellion this time. And NO the Forces of Destiny shorts do not count, you can't rely on outside material to fill in the gaps for you in a story that you're supposed to be telling in the main work.

The Sequel Trilogy was really bad about this and frankly some of the live action shows suffer a bit from this as well *coughbookofbobafett*.

Rebellion immediately running into the logistics problem that their carrier needs a lot of fuel, lol.

You know what I'm going to say, this is a really pretty location.

-squint- Do we revisit this station in "In The Name Of The Rebellion" or did we just reuse these assets?

Sabine patting Chopper on the dome. <3

Lol Chopper just full-body yanking on Ezra's leg to get his attention. And then Zeb and Ezra roasting Chopper. Such a sibling thing to do. XD

Chopper shows a remarkable array of emotion for an orange box.

Oh hey a fanfare! Haven't had one of those in a while.

Subtle animation appreciation moment: Leftover smoke from Chopper's rocket following his wake.

Offscreen blaster shots immediately after the scene where Kanan cautions them to do things quietly lololol.

I love this gag. This episode is hysterical.

The little "arm movements" with Chopper's manipulators is really good, like right here it's a very clear, "Uhhhhhhh-oh." gesture.

Lol the Stormtroopers immediately assuming that the leg strut theft and the fuel theft are related.

I mean they are but still.

I really like this location.

These background Stormtroopers sound so tired at the constant Rebel activity lol.

Right, at this rate I'm just going to be laughing at everything I guess.

AP-5! I love him, he's so deadpan and anal-retentive about everything.

People are so mean to the droids in this universe sometimes.

And thus begins a beautiful friendship. <3

You can absolutely make out Chopper's dialogue in this episode.

Chopper and AP-5 bonding about being in the Ryloth campaign. <3

Oh hey, more examples of the Empire as the bloated state wasting useful valuable resources on menial tasks. (Applicable!)

Awww AP-5 telling his first lie.

I love the sheer Looney Tunes silliness of how Chopper "fights" the officer.

"Still a terrible plan." AP-5 how I love you.

Chopper's triumphant dome twirl when they jettison the cargo and troopers. <3

"No, the first one to the bridge is not the captain!" Chopper is an actual child lololol.

Ooooh that pissed look on Hera's face, ha ha.

Ezra still not enjoying leaving people behind.

They don't have time to debate it further as the Empire found Phoenix cell in the middle of its wandering through open space. (How it's not revealed but I don't blame people back when this first aired for thinking there was a mole and it was Ketsu, since she's the one who suggested the Yost system which we later find out was already compromised.)

AP-5 pettily dropping the leg so he can cheat and take the captain spot LOLOLOLOL.

Chopper calling AP his friend awwwwwwwww.

Ketsu's assistance gets the TIEs off their back long enough to dock with the stolen fuel.

"You owe me one." I mean... she really doesn't.

Hera just looooves her exciting landings huh?

Hera fullnaming Chopper lol.

AP-5 already being super useful to the Rebellion by relaying that Yost is Imperial-occupied and finding them a new planet on the fly.

LOL Chopper just whapping the officer with the leg.

Awwwwwwww AP-5! Choosing to help Chopper and calling himself Chopper's friend in return. <3

Ooof, ah yep, he dead. With a blunt force hit like that to the chest and head that officer is definitely 100% dead.

:((((((((

ATOLLON, YAY!

AP-5's okay! :D

Lol the confused looks on Kanan, Zeb, and Ezra as the droids immediately fall to bickering.

Droid shenanigan episodes can be hit or miss (see TCW fandom's hatred of the droid arc) but this is all win material for me, Chopper making a nuisance of himself is hilarious and adorable and his budding friendship with AP-5 makes the episode unexpectedly heartwarming in places.

Plus! We resolve that pesky season-long problem of needing a safe base and collect another ally. AP-5 doesn't get to come to Lothal alas, but I'm sure the Alliance put him to very good use doing inventory on Yavin. :)

Gonna see if I can knock out "Mystery of Chopper Base" today too.

[sabbyissilent]

Nameless Girl description (warning, there might be some sensitive information that might not be easy to read for everyone)

(Please excuse me for my English, I hope you’ll understand everything I’ll write)

She/her

Born on march 17, 1993

Age: she was 17 years old when she was killed and taken as a proxy by slenderman

Name: She has no name because of her parents who never gave her one, she was always called by her surnames by the teachers and mean nicknames by her classmates.

Surname: Racca

Height: 173cm

General body description: she has layered black hair, deep blue eyes, pale skin covered in bruises , she is quite curvy but more muscular as she moves a lot, she has the proxy symbol on the back of her neck and and a scar/bruise on her throat. The scar on her cheek is very old, it was caused by some kids who threw stones at her when she was is middle school.

She doesn’t talk much, she prefers to listen.

She was always alone and quiet since she was a child, no one knew her and she was never registered on papers because she was born at home, not in a hospital, after years of being bullied, neglected by her parents and forgotten, at 14 years old, she decided to escape from Italy living like a homeless person for 3 years until one night, in the woods, a man SA her, covering her face with a plastic bag (causing the bruise on her neck), and left her lifeless body in the woods, she was then taken back to “life” by slenderman who watched her for a long time even before her death and chose her as a proxy.

Bonus: the first thing she did when she was taken back to life, was to take her revenge and end her assaulter life.

She was aware that slenderman followed her and she always tried to hunt him down, unsuccessfully obviously, she hasn’t big sympathy for him but she is quite grateful that he provide to keep her alive and in a “family” (I believe in the slender mansion don’t bother me lol), she likes to spend time with Sally, living for a moment her childhood by playing with dolls with her or simply hide and seek or games like that.

I am currently writing her complete story on wattpad, I’ll give you the link when I’ll finish it! ^_^ if you have any questions about her, don’t be shy and ask!

[chweverni]

got the music in you, baby

pairing - lee jung chan (dino) x reader synopsis - yes, you are the youngest in your family; yes, you are the perfect pancake with no personality; yes, you're overlooked, a lot actually. and maybe a guy you had no intention of making friends with, actually gets you. and maybe you kinda like it. warnings; kinda angsty, they turn from ?? to ??(with possibilities of being lovers in the near future), reader trauma dumps to dino but that's all! (also this kinda revolves around middle school so sorry for that <3) author's note; exam szn ended y'all!! but this was kinda written based on my life lol i've been having a hard time irl lately but its fine, bc just like dino, i never bow <3 btw dino is pink!!

-

today's the last day of exams, you're sitting in front of your school desk, with your answer sheet which you revised three times already. honestly, the test today was quite easy, and you don't understand why you cried over the stupid dates in history when they came up in MCQs instead. you sighed, as you checked the wall clock.

three minutes more till the final bell. you began spinning your pen in your hand impatiently, as the invigilator got up from his seat to collect your papers. you packed your belongings in your bag and the bell finally rung. chaos was restored as students got up from their seats to discuss their answers with their peers.

you would've talked with them too, if it weren't for lee jung chan, your desk mate who got you first.

"y/n-nie!! wait up for me! we have to talk!"

you turned around to face the boy in confusion, as he smiled at you. "how'd you do in your test?". why was he asking me that? you tilted your head towards the right and asked why. chan simply replied, "eh just curious how my amazing desk mate did in her test, nothing more, nothing less." he shot out his smile again, this time holding your shoulders and turning you back towards the door, as he pushed you outside along with him.

"okay, what do you want?"

"so i was wondering if you'd tell me what you were up to just a few days earlier at the convenience store nearby at 10 pm into the night?"

what the fuck. how'd he know about that?

okay, let's rewind back to last saturday and find out.

"mom! i ranked second in that math olympiad i attempted earlier!", you screamed from your room with excitement. you ran outside your room, carrying your laptop to the kitchen to show her the e-mail. "how much did your sister get? check that for me pretty please." your mom replied, eyes fixated on the vegetables she was cutting on the cutting board. ouch. you did as she asked anyway and replied,

"she got 52 originally but after counting in the negative marks, its added up to 32, placing her on the 15th Merit rank."

your older sister stood beside your mom, explaining why she scored less, your achievement being long forgotten. i mean, is wanting encouragement and appreciation from your parents selfish? you watched your mom as she comforted her and talked about some tuition classes your sister could sign up for to score better next time.

your mother admired your sister more, because the first pancake is always spoilt, and has more personality, with burnt edges and unwanted curves which made it interesting. the second ones were more perfect, made with care in the beginning, just to be eaten afterwards. they had no personality or quirks. and maybe you were fine with being perfect. but maybe not. atleast not this time.

you got up, headed to your room, picked up some money from the drawer and went outside to the convenience store nearby. the clock read 9:45 pm. but man, you really craved something spicy to burn down your throat because a big lump had formed there, and it was definitely not thinking of going away.

you went inside, and bought two cups of instant ramen and opened one immediately as you sat on one of the mini tables there to eat.

you wanted to feel fine, but the parasitic thought of being an unwanted child rang at the back of your head. you had experienced numerous instances where your achievements were overlooked by your lovely sister, who always seemed to do it better the second chance. you didn't really mind it all these years, but it had finally reached your head and wasn't planning on leaving.

thinking about it involuntarily pulled out tears from you and you began ugly crying your eyes and heart out as you slurped in the spicy ramen. god, this felt so good. all the weird burdens you tucked away in your sleep were lifting off of your body and you cried more. it was therapeutic to do and you wondered why you didn't do it sooner.

and little did you know, lee jung chan, your deskmate at school, who had just gotten there to get himself a can of soda, had the perfect luck to be a witness to this.

now, he could let it go, but he could not, possibly.

because if it weren't for his very big and obvious to everyone but not you crush on you that made him stop on his way back and think about approaching you after exams at school, he would've totally just stride back home and study.

back to the hallways, dino stared at you with high expectations, that you'll tell him what happened, while you just stood there,

"why are we doing this again? i think we've talked like three times this whole year."

"it's actually eight.. but never mind!"

"you counted?"

dino just cleared his throat and looked at you with those piercing eyes of his again.

i mean trauma dumping in front of a teenage boy who you barely knew didn't feel like a foreign concept because boys were stupid and how was chan any different?

but something about his demeanor made you dumber, and you proceeded to tell him everything about last saturday, as you two walked out the school, towards that same convenience store.

chan was surprisingly a good listener and you noticed that he would think it through and ask," can i advise you on this?", which you found really cute but you're too tough to actually admit it.

both of you counted the money you had on yourselves and bought two cups of instant ramen again.

now you stood across dino, in a mini table, and your conversation now concerned cats, instead of your very terrible saturday.

"don't you think naming cats Ivan, The Terrible would actually be accurate? as they literally assert their dominance on your bed after they become comfy!"

"and how would you know that?"

you asked, a playful smile plastered on your face, as you noticed the slight red blush that ran through his face due to the spice levels of the ramen. that kinda made your heart flutter, but you ignored that. chan replied soon after with a cute pout on his face, "because i own one! they're so bossy! i literally scoop their heavy duties with my hand and that's how they reward me." You chuckled at his words.

"did you just.. chuckle?" "am i not allowed to .. ?" "so you did!"

chan's smile grew wider over the seconds and he began rambling with the speed of light, "OMG! i made you smile! oh wait- a chuckle is more than just a smile! i made your mood just ten times brighter! we should totally hang out more! see, our interests line up so well! you're welcome to come and hang in my house anytime, y/n-nie! i'm always there, teehee."

woah.

that was.. something.

why'd that something make you feel giddy?

-

the end! (or nah depends on you! yes, you! lmk if you want an extension of this!!)

all creds to chweverni only on tumblr. come back for more! reqs for short drabbles are now open woohoo!!!!

[cryo-lily]

BOLD the FACTS

Thanks to @imperial-topaz2003 & @thelealinhypehouse for the tags!

Doing this for Issie (Isadola) because No I haven't forgotten about her after.... a certain recent game release lol.

PERSONAL

Isadola's life has been a complicated one since the day she was born. Originally born to an exiled & former Sith Lord and a former/rouge Imperial Cipher Agent. Isadola only knew and was raised by her mother before her father (the rouge Cipher Agent) eventually learned of her existence and attempted to kill both her & her mother. Shortly after her mother's death she was found and taken in by the Jedi Order, where she went on to earn the title of Barsen'thor. Later leaving the Jedi Order to go on to help form and lead the Alliance as Commander. Slowly finding the happy life & family that was taken from her.

Financial: wealthy*/ moderate/ poor / in poverty

Born & raised poor during the first few years of her life before being taken in by the Jedi Order. *Later amassing significant wealth throughout her journeys.

Medical: fit / moderate/ sickly / disabled / disadvantaged/ non-applicable

A natural acrobat, and very fast. She may not be the strongest, but very few are able to catch her, let alone pin her down in or out of combat.

Class or Caste: upper/ middle/ working / unsure / other

Regardless of it's in her early life or currently, Isadola doesn't really care for her status be labeled as such, given how it's needlessly complicated things all her life.

Education: qualified / unqualified / studying / other

Not really tied to any specific discipline, but still got a very significant education from her time with the Jedi where she has a very sharp mind you'd want in any intelligent conversation. Even if it's a topic out of her depth, Issie is a very quick learner.

Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet / yes, but charges were dismissed

Issie, is not a saint. There are some lines she will not cross, but for what crimes she has committed both during her time as a Jedi and after leaving the order, She has yet to be caught. She has even helped found her own Cartel that low-key starting to rival the Hutts. For her and her family's own safety she hasn't admitted to being one of Eridium Cartel's Founders that the Hutt Cartel has placed a significant bounty on. Tho the Alliance spy network has their hands constantly full keeping that fact under wraps.

FAMILY

In the Beginning it was very complicated, Born to a loving Mother that died protecting her against a Father that wants her dead for simply existing outside of his sphere of control. To later having the loving family life that was taken from her decades ago.

Children: had a child or children* / has no children / wants children

Post-Darth Nul plot, Isadola has the first of her 3 biological daughters with her wife Lana. Not long after having their first daughter, Kelsa, They go on to adopt an orphaned stowaway force-sensitive Chiss girl, Orla, that showed up on Odessen one day after she quickly stole their hearts.

Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s)*/ has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased

Issie is the only child of her mother, Tilera, and her father, Donovan. *Though she does have some half-siblings through her father, like her relationship with him, she is not close to them, by any means.

Affiliation: orphaned / abandoned / adopted / disowned* / raised by birth parent(s) / not applicable

Raised by her Mother for 5-ish years before being orphaned, Disowned by her Father almost since her birth (If he knew about her sooner), Donovan would sooner have her killed then having a progeny outside his sphere of control.

TRAITS & TENDENCIES

♦ extroverted/ introverted /in-between*

Issie is mostly a shy girl, unless you know her then those walls she's built up crumble so fast. Or she's just drunk/high off her ass.

♦ disorganized /organized / in-between

If things are disorganized, something is wrong with Issie and you should be concerned.

♦ close-minded / open-minded / in-between

99% of the time Issie tries to be open-minded, unless it's something that's against her personal moral code then not so much, though she tries to always keep an open mind.

♦ calm / anxious / in-between / highly contextual

Isadola under the calm exterior she's built up, is just a mess of emotions. Issie is one bad day away from losing the stoic exterior she's built up over the years.

♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in-between

Very situational, With Issie you can never really know unless you drop her in specific situations.

♦ cautious / reckless / in-between / highly contextual

Again, very situational. When it's a moment that requires thought or is very delicate she is very cautious. In combat, Issie can be VERY reckless, just ask Lana.

♦ patient / impatient / in-between

Very much depends on her mood on how patient Isadola can be.

♦ outspoken / reserved / in-between / highly contextual

Depends on the situation, But Isadola is very much both. Can be very outspoken most times, but she also knows when to hold her tongue.

♦ leader / follower / in-between

A natural leader but hates the labels that comes with it, but also able to take orders from those she respects.

♦ empathetic / vicious bastard / in-between

Issie is very much both, just depends on the situation on which side you'll see. Issie is very empathetic (Even has the Force Empathy ability), but if you push her too far that side of her can switch off a little too quickly for comfort.

♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in-between

Despite her tragic beginnings, and her life up to recent events Isadola always tries to look on the bright side of things. If she doesn't she might fall down a dark hole she might never recover from.

♦ traditional / modern / in-between

Isadola & Tradition are 2 things that don't mix. Like full stop.

♦ hard-working / lazy / in-between

Issie needs to be reminded a lot it's okay for her to take a break a lot of times and that galaxy won't fall apart if she doesn't keep working. Though she is 100% a hypocrite when she tries to remind Lana of the same.

♦ cultured / uncultured / in-between / unknown

Issie is just Issie. She is a lot of things.

♦ loyal / disloyal / in-between / unknown

Loyal, to a fault. She will die for those closest to her against anything.

♦ faithful / unfaithful / in-between / unknown

Sure, her mind wanders sometimes, but at the end of the day, once she's committed to someone she's theirs till one or both of them drops dead.

BELIEFS

Raised by the Jedi sure, But she doesn't have blind faith in the Force.

Faith: monotheist / polytheist /atheist/ agnostic?*

*Sure Issie has seen all that the Force is capable of but she doesn't believe it is the end all be all of everything.

Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking

Issie has seen a few, even has a connection with the dead, but hasn't had enough experience to form any strong opinions on them. (At least in her main Jedi path, Her Sith Inquisitor AU on the other hand...)

Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking

"There is no Death, There is only the Force" Something that has been drilled into her by the Jedi since she was young, She doesn't quite believe in the words, even if repeating the words has given her some comfort from time to time.

Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking

She'd like to believe so, in her mind, Life is wasteful just to end. She'd like to believe there's more to do, more to learn after one life is done.

Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

I mean, even though Isadola sees herself as Human, She is constantly reminded she's not so... it'd be weird if she didn't believe.

Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious

Isadola's life has been too complicated to be even remotely religious. Plus she has seen first hand how far such devotion can go. So not her style.

Philosophical: yes / no / highly contextual

Issie is a Philosophical nerd deep down. She has to catch herself sometimes for not sounding too philosophical.

SEXUALITY & ROMANCE

Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual/ bisexual / asexual / pansexual

Issie is a straight as a boomerang. Girl has like few brain cells around most women.

Sex: sex-repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable/ naive and clueless

Girl has problems keeping her hands to herself around her wife. Much to Lana's ire sometime when she's working.

Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / naive and clueless / romance suspicious

Issie is a hopeless romantic deep down.

Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious

Isadola has had a number of encounters over the years before she met her wife.

Potential Sexual Partners: male/ female / agender / other / none / all

Isadola is a not so innocent Lesbean.

Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all

See Above.

ABILITIES

Smart, Quick witted, and combat talented, just like her Mama.

Combat Skills: excellent/ good / moderate / poor/ none

Very talented with dual sabers, just like her Mother.

Literacy Skills: excellent/ good / moderate / poor / none

She found alot of comfort in books and writings when she was younger before she found some real friends.

Artistic Skills: excellent* / good / moderate/ poor / none

Isadola is an excellent singer if you can get her to do so. She's a pretty good Artifice crafter though when she wants to kill sometime.

Technical Skills: excellent/ good / moderate / poor / none

Issie is pretty good at most technical skills when she needs to be, but if something needs fixing or Slicing, she knows to leave the task to one of her more capable friends.

HABITS

Issie won't admit it but she is very much a closeted party animal. She has alot of steam to blow off from her life so far.

Drinking Alcohol: never/ special occasions / rarely / sometimes / frequently / alcoholic/ former borderline alcoholic turned sober

Her go to way to turn off her brain after a stressful day.

Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / chain-smoker

Not her go to, but won't shy away from it if offered to her.

Recreational Drugs: tried some / never /special occasions / sometimes/ frequently / addict Former addict

Eridium Cartel party nights are lit. Issie only indulges if the party is really REALLY wild. Which is most times whenever her Eridium fam throws a party.

Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess

Issie is usually pretty healthy. Only rarely after a taking some serious injuries does she need to take some, if any.

Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / rarely / sometimes / frequently / binge eater

Again, Issie is usually pretty healthy, and eats like it too. It's a point of pride for her to be able to maintain her fast, acrobatic abilities.

Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic

Lana manages the credits for a reason, is all I'll say. Issie like shiny things a bit too much.

Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gamble

When the nightlife event starts, it would be a rare moment not to see Issie in the casino. She hangs around her smuggler buddy, Taskar, a bit too much where his luck has rubbed off on her.

No pressure tags for @girlstandstill @magicallulu7 @serenofroses

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

My sibling headcanons for DCLA characters

Of course excluding the ones we KNOW if they have siblings or not, and the ones I just assumed are only children.

Camila - We know Camila has sisters, plural. How many sisters does she have? My answer: Around 4 younger sisters. Two of them are around 2-3 years younger than her, one is 6 years younger than her and one is 12 years younger than her. Beyond that she also has a LOT of cousins. This is why her mom needs her to help out a lot.

Maxi - Maxi mentioned in the pilot that he has a brother. I think his brother is around 1-2 years younger than him.

Marco - Marco mentioned in a passing conversation he had a sister. I think he has two sisters; one older and one younger. His older sister is around 2 years older and his younger sister is 4 years younger.

Braco - Braco randomly said that he has 180 cousins in this passing scene???????? And with that many cousins I also think he must have a lot of siblings, too. His siblings are of every age from babies to almost 30.

Broduey - He seems a lot like the cool older brother, it wouldn't surprise me if he has a bunch of younger siblings who all look up to him. The oldest being maybe 5 years younger than him and the youngest being just a toddler.

Delfi - I feel like she has two younger siblings, a sister and a brother, who she thinks is super annoying if they so much as breath in the same room. But she also loves them dearly. They are 3 and 5 years younger than her.

Jazmin - Jazmin I think has a sister who I think is a year older, and then she has a half-sister who is almost 10 years younger, and who she likes to give makeup and fashion advice to.

Ramiro - he has siblings, but none of them have the same sets of two parents. He has two older half-siblings from his dad's side, a boy and girl who are twins and are 3 years older than him. His parents later divorced and his mom later had his younger half brother when he was 5. His father also remarried someone who had a kid, so now he also has a step sister who is around 1 year younger than him.

Jim - She gives off so much younger sister energy. She has a two year older sister.

Yam - She has two younger brothers who drive her nuts. They are 4 and 7 years younger than her. She always wished she had a sister, but she has a female cousin she's very close with and kind of like her sister.

Simón - Simón has the biggest middle child chaotic energy I've ever seen. He has one older sister, who is like 2-3 years older, and then he as a 3 year younger brother, 5 year younger sister and an 8 year younger brother.

Emilia - Emilia has 3 younger half siblings who are triplets. They are 9 years younger than her and she hates to have to take care of them but she also loves them. She thinks that they are annoying her at every move, but if anyone ever hurts them she will come in their defense. Emilia has punched toddlers is what I am saying.

Chiara - She has a 3 year older brother. She really gives me the "youngest sister" vibe lol.

Celeste - She has a younger sister who is around 5 years younger than her.

Basically that's all. I've probably forgotten someone.