#forgot where i was going with this. anyway whatever
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home cooked meals & crashed dinner dates
pairing: oscar piastri x verstappen!reader
summary: your plan to finally make good on your promise of a home cooked meal for oscar's first win is thwarted by a certain older brother of yours. (3.1k)
warnings: general swearing, overprotective brother max. this is the long awaited part two to maiden wins & secret meet-ups, but can be read as a stand-alone!
a/n: we interrupt your (semi) regular programming of lando to give you more bf oscar!!! wrote most of this pre baku so no second win unfortunately
Everything is perfect.
You’ve got Oscar’s favorite pasta dish simmering on the stove, a few appetizers ready on the counter, the table set up nicely for two, and your flat is pretty clean.
All that’s left to do is change into something nice and wait for Oscar to arrive, and your promise of a date night with a home cooked meal for his win will have been fulfilled.
You’re more excited than anything. You haven’t seen Oscar since Hungary because you’ve both been busy, but you managed to find tonight as one night where neither of you have anywhere else to be, no one else to see. All you want to do is spend time with him and love on him as much as you can while you're alone together.
The doorbell rings just as soon as you’ve slipped into one of your favorite dresses, and for a moment you’re confused, because Oscar isn’t supposed to be here for another twenty minutes.
And Oscar, bless his heart, is never early.
You push the thought away as you go to open the door because hey, maybe he’s just as excited to spend time with you as you are with him. It’s the only thing on your mind when you pull it open to greet—
“Max? What’re you—”
Your brother is nudging past you as soon as the door swings open wide enough, completely ignoring your bewildered state in favor of beelining for your sofa and plopping down onto it. He kicks his feet up onto the coffee table in front without a care in the world, settling into the cushions behind him with a loud, relaxed sigh.
“Um, hello? This isn’t your home, you know! An acknowledgement would be nice before you come barging in. And a warning that you’re coming, but whatever, I guess.”
He blinks a few times, cocking his head to the side. “Hi. Sorry, I forgot to text, but I figured you’d be home anyways, so…”
“Right, but I actually have plans soon,” You reply, gesturing vaguely at what you know he knows isn’t your typical staying at home outfit, “as you can see.”
“Oh, that’s a nice dress,” He hums, motioning for you to do a spin. You don’t humor him with one. Instead you walk over to where he is and shove his dirty shoes off your table, wrinkling your nose at just how annoying he’s being right now. “Bit fancy for a night in though, no?”
“Thank you. But I’ve got plans,” You say tightly. He gives a firm nod. You wait for him to say something else, but he doesn’t, so you sigh. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Maxie, but what are you doing here?”
“Can’t I pay my favorite sister a visit without a reason?”
You try again, with more urgency this time. “Sure, but any other time would be better.”
Either Max really needs to get his ears checked, or he’s actively choosing to ignore your words, because he grabs the TV remote off the table, patting the seat next to him as he switches it on.
“C’mon, watch Love Island with me. I’m three episodes behind and I need to catch up before Charles spoils it for me next time we play padel.”
Frustrated to no end at his inability to listen, you cast a quick glance at the time. Oscar is meant to arrive increasingly soon, you’re no closer to getting Max out of your flat, and you’re a hair's width away from kicking him out with force.
“Max, I need you to leave.”
He chuckles, “Why?”
“Why? Because I have plans, have you not heard anything I’ve said?” You huff, propping your hands on your hips frustratedly. Max sits up from his slouch, looking from you, over towards the food on the counter, the candles and silverware on the table.
“Are you expecting someone?” He asks incredulously, brows flying high. “Oh my god, are you having a date over?”
“Maybe. Okay, yes, so you need to go. Like, now.”
Max ignores you (again), rising to his feet, mirroring your stance and expression scarily accurately. Sometimes you feel like you were meant to be twins in another life with how similar you are every so often. Then you think that he would’ve probably absorbed you in your mum’s womb had you actually been twins.
“Who is it?”
“I don’t think that’s any of your business, really.”
“Uh, yes it is! As your brother, it’s my responsibility to make sure whoever my baby sister lets all up in here isn’t a fucking serial killer, for starters.”
“All up in here? You’re being ridiculous. I’ll have you know I am perfectly capable of doing things on my own, thank you very much.”
“Uh huh, sure. So what’s their name? What do they do?”
“Still none of your business!”
“You’re being evasive.”
“Yeah, well you’re being invasive.” You level Max with a narrow eyed stare, crossing your arms over your chest. He does the same, but god is he much better at it than you. It makes you let out a sigh, digging the heels of your palm against your eyes. “I love you, Maxie, but I know how you get with people I’ve been in relationships with, and this one…he’s special, okay?”
His glare softens at the pure fondness in your tone, posture relaxing, arms dropping. He studies you for a few moments, like he’s gauging whether or not he should continue with his annoyingly overprotective older brother shtick or drop it all together. “Fine. I still want to know his name though. Full name, first and last. Just so I can do a little background research myself, alright?”
“Oh, I think you know it already,” You mutter under your breath, more to yourself than anything.
“What?”
“Nothing!” You smile at him innocently, shrugging. “Will you go now?”
Max lets you usher him towards the door, sounding a bit annoyed, but you’ll deal with him later. You’ve still got a bit of time before Oscar’s set to arrive to get Max out, thank goodness. “Yeah, alright. But don’t think I won’t make you call me right after whoever this guy is leaves.”
“Yeah, sure, of course. Right afterwards, you got it,” You say absentmindedly. You pull open the door for him, well and ready to finally shoo him away—
And then there’s Oscar, one hand reaching for the doorbell, the other clutching a colorful assortment of flowers wrapped in brown paper.
Fuck.
Out of all your dates, this just had to be the one time Oscar showed up early.
He’s smiling softly, but as soon as the door swings open and he sees Max standing in front of him, his expression turns into that of a deer in headlights. If you weren’t so all over the place right now, you would’ve found it hilarious.
“Piastri? What’re you doing here? And why do you have—” Max freezes mid-sentence, eyes ping-ponging between you and Oscar so fast you wouldn’t be surprised if they popped out of his head. “Oh, what the fuck? You’re dating fucking Oscar? And you,” He turns his attention back to the shaken looking Aussie, “you’re dating my sister? What the fuck!”
“Um…hey, mate. I mean, Max. I mean—hi? Erm, nice to see you too,” Oscar says hesitantly, reaching up to rub at the back of his neck awkwardly. His eyes flick to yours helplessly, begging for a lifeline.
“Hi, Osc. Don’t mind him, come on in.” You push Max aside with both hands, making room for Oscar to cross the threshold.
Though judging by the slightly nauseous look on his face, Oscar would much rather like to turn around and leave right back the way he came. Max, on the other hand, just stares blankly at the two of you.
You ease the flowers out of Oscar’s grip, pressing what you hope is a reassuring kiss to his cheek in return. “These are gorgeous.”
Oscar gives his head a little shake to get himself out of his stupor. “Yeah, I had the florist put together all your favorite flowers.”
“I love them, thank you. Come with me to the kitchen? The vase is on the top shelf.” You slide your hand into his, tugging him in the direction you want to go and he follows, tearing his wide eyed gaze from Max’s as he stumbles after you. Once you’re safely in the kitchen and out of Max’s earshot, you turn to him. “I am so sorry for springing this onto you without warning, he just showed up like, ten minutes ago and I was just about to get him to leave.”
“Um, yeah, no it’s—it’s fine. Just caught me off guard a little, is all,” He breathes, bobbing his head. “So he knows about us…?”
“Pretty sure he’s connecting the dots right now, yeah.” You sneak a peek out of the kitchen to see that Max hasn’t moved an inch from his previous position. His body is frozen in place, but you already know his mind is moving a mile a minute.
You turn back to Oscar, setting aside the flowers on the counter. “I haven’t told him anything else yet, but I think at this point, we might have to. Only if you’re okay with it, though. I can still tell him to fuck off if you want.”
Oscar’s hands slide up your arms, rubbing your shoulders soothingly, calmly. “I’m okay with it. I’ve had you all to myself the last five months, I’m ready to take the next step in our relationship.” He folds you into his embrace, strong arms wrapping around you tightly. Your cheek presses against the firm, sturdiness of his chest, helping settle you in that way it seemed only he could. “Are you?”
“‘Course I am,” You say firmly, pulling back to look him in the eye. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
His lips curve into a small smile, eyes doing that little happy squint thing you love. “Yeah?”
You kiss him instead of answering, short and sweet, before moving to leave. Max has moved to the living room when you make your way out of the kitchen cautiously with Oscar in tow, and he doesn’t seem to notice you’re both there until you clear your throat.
His blank gaze flicks to yours, then Oscar behind you before morphing back into the calculating sharpness that you’ve grown accustomed to.
You’re the one to break the silence. “So…I’m sure you have questions.”
“That doesn’t even begin to cover it,” He grumbles.
One thing about your brother, he talks a lot. A real motormouth, so to speak. And right now, he’s got a lot to talk about. He even slips into Dutch for a few minutes at some point, not even noticing when you lean over towards Oscar to translate for him.
Soon enough you realize he isn’t even talking about your relationship anymore, but has somehow moved on to the faults of his own, which is a whole other can of worms that you really don’t care to discuss. Part of you feels like Max might be projecting a little bit, but you’ll worry about those problems later.
It isn’t until he loops back around to the topic at hand grumbling something along the lines of you making a mistake by dating Oscar that you stop him with a glare and some choice words of your own.
“I’m not going to sit here and let you judge me, Max. I am an adult, I don’t have to explain anything to you, let alone who I choose to be in a relationship with,” You say firmly. You’ll lay everything out plain and simple for your brother, who is usually one of the most observant people you know, so things are as clear as possible going forward. “I love Oscar, and there’s nothing you can say that will change that, so you need to find a way to be okay with this.”
You’re too busy taking a stand against Max’s stubborn nature to notice Oscar right now, but if you had been paying any ounce of attention to him, you would’ve seen his lips quirk up into a wide grin, the straightening of his hunched shoulders.
He’s pleased, to say the least. For a guy known by the world as being extremely flat and composed, he's nothing but expressive when it comes to you.
Max, however, does notice the changes in Oscar’s demeanor. The crease between his brows lessens, because shit, he’s never seen Oscar Piastri smile that big before. Never seen Oscar look at anyone the way he’s looking at you now, even as you continue to lecture Max about boundaries.
“Fucking hell,” He says, dragging a hand back through his hair. It gets you to pause, raising an expectant brow at him. “You’re right. I’m being a total asshole brother, aren’t I?”
“Yes, you are,” You say pointedly, arms crossed. He drops down onto the couch behind him, hunching over and propping his chin up in his palm with a heavy sigh.
Guilt tinges at you a little bit at the sight. You know Max means well. He loves you and wants you to be happy, but he gets a little too overprotective of you sometimes. It’s been that way since you were kids. He was away for races a lot, so when he was there he tended to overcompensate.
You sigh, sitting down next to him. “You’ve always watched out for me, and I’ll always be grateful for everything you’ve done to protect me, but I’m not a little girl anymore, Maxie. It’s time to let me do things on my own.”
“You’re making me sound so old right now and I hate it,” Max huffs dramatically. “But you have a point. You’re not a little girl anymore, but you’ll always be my little sister.”
“And you’ll always be my big brother.”
Max presses his lips into a thin line. “Guess I should leave now, huh?”
You nod faux seriously, patting his knee. He sighs, drags himself to his feet, sticks out his hand towards Oscar for a begrudgingly firm shake before he goes. Then he stops in his tracks about halfway to the front door, whirling around to face Oscar again.
“If you hurt her…well, I won’t even have to kick your ass, because she’ll have already done it for me,” He warns, pointing an accusing finger in his direction.
You fight a smile, because even though you know Oscar would never hurt you, you’re secretly pleased your brother recognizes that you can handle yourself.
The Australian boy nods solemnly. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“Don’t really know him all that well, huh?” Max teases, the first time he’s looked anything but downright distressed since discovering you’re dating Oscar. You offer him a guilty smile that he rolls his eyes playfully at as he pulls the door open. “Breakfast tomorrow? I’d like to know more about how absolutely fucking blind I’ve been to not know you’ve been seeing Oscar this whole time.”
“Breakfast sounds good,” You chuckle. “Now for the hundredth time, please leave. I’ve got a date.”
You let out the biggest sigh in the world as soon as the door slams shut, a little exhausted at the emotional roller coaster you’ve just been on. All this because you wanted to cook your boyfriend a nice meal for a special occasion.
Oscar’s found his way to the sofa, inviting arms open, soft smile on his face. You plop down next to him with a groan.
You’re only now noticing he’s worn your favorite shirt today, the dark one that hugs his biceps just right and makes the cozy warmth of his brown eyes pop.
“Reckon that went rather well.”
You scoff, both amused and skeptical. “Seriously?”
“Well, in my head, I thought he was gonna punch me in the face, so…yeah, I don’t think it went too bad. All things considered.”
“I feel like I’m always apologizing for things lately,” You sigh, letting your head fall onto Oscar’s shoulder. He exhales in the form of a chuckle, lacing his fingers through yours comfortingly. “And for some reason, my brother seems to be a common denominator. So, I apologize about him too, because we both know he’s too stubborn to say it himself.”
“Seems like stubbornness runs in the family.”
You knock your knee against Oscar’s without any real force behind it, rolling your eyes playfully. “Funny. Sorry you had to hear me argue with him.”
“He’s just being an older brother. I get it.” He shrugs nonchalantly, totally unphased. “Plus, you’re kinda hot when you get mad.”
“Ha! You’re into that?”
“Guess I am.”
“I learn something new about you everyday, don’t I?”
Oscar just grins knowingly at you, pressing a kiss to your temple.
“I love you too, by the way,” He says later on in the night, when you’re both standing at the kitchen sink. You’re washing dishes from dinner, he’s drying them with a dishcloth.
His tone is completely casual, offhanded, like the way someone might mention how nice the weather is today.
You blink, brows furrowed in confusion. “Huh?”
“Earlier, when you were chewing Max out, you said—” He pauses, rubs furiously at a wet spot on the plate clutched in his hands, cheeks going pink. “You said you loved me? Was that just to prove your point, or…”
If you’re being totally honest, you hadn’t even realized you’d said it. You’ve never shared those three little words with Oscar before, but the more the weight of them sets in, the more you realize it’s true.
You’ve fallen in love with Oscar Piastri without even knowing.
At the back of your mind, though, you think you’ve known all along. From the first time he’d uttered out an awkward hello in the paddock all those months ago, you were hooked. Since then, being with him was easier than anything else you’ve ever done. Sure, the secrecy and the constant on the go nature that came with being a professional athlete provided a few hurdles, but you like to think you’ve managed to handle them quite well.
“Uh…hello?”
Your focus is brought back to real time, where Oscar is looking back at you with a borderline nervous expression gracing his face.
“Yeah, I do.” You smile warmly. “I love you, Osc.”
You abandon the sponge clutched in your hand, dropping it in favor of reaching across the dish rack and cradling his cheek in your palm, kissing him gently.
“Well, that’s a relief. Thought I’d just made a fool of myself right there.”
He’s got soap suds on his face, one eye scrunched shut at the wetness from your hand, but you think he’s never looked more handsome. He could be wearing the most god awful outfit known to man and you’d still think he’s the best thing you’ve laid eyes on, because you love him and he loves you.
And really, that’s all you need to feel right where you should be.
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#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x verstappen!reader#op81#oscar piastri x fem!reader#op81 x reader#oscar piastri fic#oscar piastri fluff#oscar piastri x you
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Too Much to Drink
Part two
Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Female Reader
Summary: You, Tara, Chad, Mindy, and Anika, all go to a party. You get a bit tipsy after seeing Tara flirt with a random guy. (After scream 5)
Warning: Slight makeout session, Sensitive Topics, Drinking, & Cursing
Words counted: 1k+
There was no doubt that you had a crush on Tara Carpenter. You’ve been crushing hard on her for a while now. It’s a surprise she didn’t notice it.
You never dared to tell her or your friend group about it. You didn’t want to risk breaking you and Tara’s friendship.
So here you are at a party with your friends. A party you didn’t even want to be at, but were forced to go.
You are now sitting on a sofa, alone, as your friends wander off somewhere else.
You decided to scroll on your phone since you had nothing better to do, but you can’t help but notice something in the corner of your eye.
You saw Tara, and a random guy? Your attention immediately left your phone and went straight to them.
“Who the hell is that,” You say to yourself as you watched how Tara put a hand on his arm.
You felt disgusted at the sight of your crush and some random person flirting with each other. But you couldn’t help but keep watching them.
As you kept on looking at them, you suddenly feel a hand on your shoulder and can’t help, but slightly jump.
It was Chad. Anika and Mindy were behind him.
“Holy shit! Don’t sneak up on me like that ever again,” You said as your gaze finally left Tara and the guy.
Chad grinned and snickers, “Maybe you should be more cautious. What were you distracted by anyways?”
“Nothing that concerns you Chad,” You say as you looked away from him.
“Right..” Mindy said as she studied your face. She knew you were hiding something.
Anika joined the conversation, but just for a bit, “Ahem well anyways I don’t know what’s happening here and Im not sure if I want want to find out. Imma get some more drinks,”
Anika grabbed Mindy’s hand and left to wander somewhere else.
“Alright then, I’ll see you later!” Chad patted your shoulder before also leaving.
You sighed deeply, almost forgetting what you were doing before you got interrupted.
You turned your attention back to where Tara and the guy last were, but you couldn’t spot them anywhere.
You groaned because you got distracted with your other friends that you forgot to keep an eye on your crush.
But it wasn’t long until you spotted the two.
When you did. You saw them sharing a kiss. Your heart dropped a bit at the sight.
Your jealousy was spiking up but needed to keep your cool, you guys weren’t even together. She’s an adult she can do whatever she pleases. Right?
You decided to get off the sofa and get your first drink of the night.
As you took a shot of alcohol it burned a little but you felt like you couldn’t stop.
To bury your feelings you just kept on drinking and drinking until you couldn’t anymore.
When you stopped. You felt dizzy, really dizzy. You tried your best to lay down somewhere, because you were in the edge of throwing up.
It helped a bit but you were still feeling nauseous. You could barely keep your eyes open. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to drink that much.
You laid down on a couch on your back as you stared at the ceiling and closed your eyes for a bit.
You heard some footsteps walking closer to you and you opened your eyes a bit and tilted your head to face the person.
It was Tara.
You smiled a little bit when you saw Tar, but for her, she wasn’t so pleased with what she was seeing.
“Hiii Tara…what are you doing hereee?” You said, slurring your words.
“Jesus Christ Y/N.. are you seriously drunk!? Now who’s going to take me home now. Sam is going to be so pissed if she knows I went to this party.”
“Chill Tarrr. I am still stable.. I think.”
“You’re such a fucking dumbass..” Tara grumbled as she went to get some water for you to drink, “Drink this so you somewhat feel better,”
You went ahead and chugged the water down. You can’t help but keep staring at Tara as you did so.
Tara started to get weirded because you kept on staring at her.
Your eyes never left her face
You went ahead and spat out words you would never say if you were sober, “Has anyone told you, you are like really goddamn pretty.. everything you do is beautiful in my eyes.. you could be doing the most disgusting things and I’ll still find you perfect,”
The alcohol really got to you. How could you be that bold?
The Carpenter couldn’t help but feel a bit flustered. A small smile creeps up on her face but quickly goes away, realizing your just drunk and probably don’t know what your talking about.
“Shut up. You’re a drunk mess. Also do you know how incredibly stupid it is to drink that much. Don’t you ever drink that much again. Especially if-”
You weren’t even listening to her lecture all your attention went down to her lips and wasn’t going to leave anytime soon.
it wasn’t long until Tara caught up what you were looking at “My eyes are up here Y/N,”
You watched as her lips moved as she said that. Your drunk self had no more self control in you.
You suddenly went forward and kissed the Carpenter.
Tara was surprised by your action, but she surprisingly didn’t move away.
She grabbed the side of your face and deepened the kiss. You could’ve sworn you felt her tongue touch yours, but she moved away.
She quickly came to her senses and told herself that she shouldn’t take advantage of you while you were drunk.
She stepped away from you while you were still on the sofa, and walked away. Not speaking about what just happened.
Not even seconds later, you pass out. It was definitely the alcohol that got to you.
Some time passes by, and you wake up on your bed in your apartment.
You groaned as your head started to throb. It felt like it was about to explode. Probably caused by the hangover.
“What the hell,”
You say as you quickly check your phone and woke up with some notifications from your friends.
You soon figured out that Chad had to carry you and drop you back to your home, while you were reading the messages.
Then you click on Tara’s number.
There was one message she sent saying, “We need to talk.”
Well you’re fucked..
#jenna ortega#jenna marie ortega#tara carpenter x y/n#tara carpenter x reader#tara carpenter#tara carpenter x female reader#y/n#reader insert#party#drunk#drunk thoughts#crush#hiding
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ugh yes you get it it’s not ABOUT ships being endgame i feel like ppl have come to expect that nowadays and it’s really weird. whatever happened to scraping for crumbs of interaction and running 20 miles with whatever we got?? and even if a ship does become ‘canon’ it’ll usually never happen in the way you personally want anyway. they’re NARRATIVE FOILS babe it doesn’t get much better than this i am eating it UP
i swear the new season has been EXASPERATING from a fandom standpoint. i think in retrospect it was like this with season one and the whole mel thing, too, but enough time has passed that my brain conveniently forgot about that.
i don't want to make this about age, but when i was growing up in fandom we used to have maybe a 1% canonization rate when it came to queer ships, which forced me to develop an array of skills i don't see much of anymore. queercoding and queer characters were there still, regardless of how canon or not a ship was, and everyone agreed that canon love interests mattered very little when the dynamic of two characters was the core of said characters.
i genuinely could care less about mel and jayce when they uh. got together i guess??? and i say i guess because we barely know anything about their relationship and dynamic. which is the point! we know way more about him and viktor, so that's where my thoughts go.
people were making a fuss over jayce and mel fucking, meanwhile i was going insane over their sex scene being paralleled to viktor coughing blood, and about how afterwards we see mel waking up in bed alone because viktor wakes up in bed and jayce is beside him. now, people are making a fuss about viktor and sky and i'm over here thinking of what sky is: a symbol, a representation of viktor and jayce's dream, of viktor's humanity and of his remorse. because that isn't even grief—he barely knew sky, didn't even look at her once in season one, he cannot grieve someone he didn't care for; he grieves her POTENTIAL, what she could have been had he let her, he feels guilty for being the cause of her death and he clings to his humanity through her.
arcane is all about visuals. every single frame. none of it is left to chance. and this is unfortunate when its viewers seem adamant on not turning on their brains whilst they watch.
#jayvik#arcane#jayce talis#viktor arcane#vikjayce#viktor the machine herald#arcane meta#arcane spoilers#asks#to clarify: this isn't hate towards mel or sky. i don't care. mel is her own character and sky serves a purpose.#i'm just stating what the show visually conveyed so far
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shattering
/!\ Spoilers for Dragons Rising S2P2!
(very original title) hiii i'm still not dead <3 sorry i'm not active but y'know. life.
here's a jay fic!! about him experiencing shatterspin for the very first time but this is actually more me trying to make the wolf masks kinda gory and made out of flesh it's. it's an experiment. as well as like. physical effects
i'm just having fun and trying out some things (ig it's not really a fic then but idk adfkjsegd)
/!\ TW : Blood, Gore, Wounds, Death (tell me if I forgot something)
Also not beta read and I don't read that well behind myself yaddi yadda y'know the drill (especially since this is more of a bunch of scraps assembled together and not a real fic akfjzsgv (I might cross post it on AO3 at some point we'll see))
This is around 6.8k words so it's half a short? anyway enjoy
Jay narrowed his eyes at the mask he held.
It seemed to be looking back at him. And to be frank, he wasn’t a fan of how it looked back.
A shiver crawled down his spine as he passed his fingers on the front. It was meant to be a mask, but the fact that there was hair there, even if short, was somewhat disturbing to realize. He didn’t know how to feel about the idea that these could be made of real fur. Or worse, that they were somewhat organic, and used to be alive.
He checked the eyes; they seemed colorless, and dull, when inactivated. Glassy.
Dead.
That last realization brought relief. Yeah, it was dead.
Whatever it was.
He knew he was supposed to put that shit on at some point, but… it didn’t seem like a great idea, in hindsight. At least that’s what his guts were telling him.
His mind was on a whole other setting. He trusted Ras, after all. Why shouldn’t he? He had saved him, from the insanity that the Administration had been.
Thank goodness this is over. He was grateful to the man, and had taken the time to hear his interests, and plans. Things Jay wasn’t bothered by, too big to be of a concern to him. But since they were important to his savior, well, who was he to refuse helping him?
He passed a hand on the fur again, before turning it around to see the inside. He winced.
It had been… somewhat ‘polished’, but one could not look away from the flesh that had probably been ripped apart from some unfortunate creature, the whole mask made of stitches between different kinds of skin. But he didn’t dare to touch it to confirm his fears. Had it been the same specie, every time? He did wonder if asking himself that wasn’t the most unimportant question of all.
Living beings had to die, for these masks to be made.
Jay hated how his brain was sure of it.
That, and there was some… sort of taint, at the bottom of it. Where the mouth was supposed to be.
It wasn’t on all the masks, but enough of them had it to pique Jay’s curiosity.
He hadn’t talked about it to Lord Ras yet, of course. He doubted others had noticed what these visages were made of. He wasn’t even sure how he had noticed the details in the first place.
Perhaps due to his weird anxious nature about everything that’s been happening since starting his life in the Administration. His only life, actually, since he couldn’t remember shit from before.
The medallion felt heavy in his pocket. Its sudden presence making itself known made him frown.
This piece of metal was all that was left to him. He wasn’t even sure how the ones that had found him in the Land of Madness hadn’t taken that away from him, just like all his previous belongings.
He placed the mask back in its place, giving it a final glare, before walking away.
He looked at himself, unsure of what to think of his clothes.
They were comfy, that was for sure. Much better then the suit he’d been forced to wear for years in this damned Administration. And looking much better. He did enjoy the patterns that had been added to go along his powers. Symbols of wolf could be seen as well, on his chest, making sure people would know which clan he belonged to- in case the mask wouldn’t be enough.
But the fur covering his neck, and the gloves… he didn’t like as much. They hid away scars, important parts of himself.
Then again, he still had the ones on his face, definitely due to his own powers when it came to the lightning paths, and probably from fights where there were cuts, and skin that had been torn.
He wasn’t a fan of keeping them away.
But, having his body completely protected when it was clear he was going to fight in the future wasn’t that bad of an idea. Are we going to fight now? Jay doubted it. A lot of the new recruits had probably no idea of what they were getting into. Had probably been enrolled with the idea that they were going to become better fighters, with something close to powers. Lots of people didn’t listen fully when about to drastically change their lives, he had seen it many times in the Administration.
With a heavy sigh, he passed a hand on his face. To be honest, Jay hadn’t thought that long about this idea of joining Lord Ras’s forces as well.
But I owe him. He was there when no one had tried to help. It was all that mattered.
Jay could hear people getting closer. He turned around, seeing Cinder and Ras coming towards him.
The latter still had the same expression as always, severe, and mildly pissed off at people for breathing in front of him. The master of smoke, on the other hand, often had a smug expression there, knowing he was above everyone else, and enjoying it way too much. Not too far from them, he could see Jordana, the sort of witch- he didn’t completely understand what her deal was- who looked away as soon as she saw Jay noticing her.
He didn’t get to focus on that, though, when Ras made sure to be the only thing in his vision.
“I take it you’re ready for today.”
No. Not at all. But this wasn’t what their Lord wanted to hear. “Yes.” He took a deep breath, doing his best to resist the need to fidget with the fur around his collar.
“A first test, to make sure everything will go smoothly for the first battle.” Cinder chuckled at Jay’s expression, before handing him the wolf mask. “You’re lucky to try it before the real deal, Jay.”
He glared at Cinder. “Yeah. I guess so.”
Though, with how the master of smoke was looking at him, mocking, he wouldn’t call any of this luck.
Inhaling sharply, he tried to not let himself show how nervous he felt. He hadn’t expected to wear it so soon. He grabbed the mask that was given to him, nauseous at how he was about to wear unknown skin on his own.
He tried to compare it to leather, but fuck that had nothing in common. He passed trembling fingers on the inside, wanting to confirm his fears.
…Yup. Organic tissues. It was repulsing.
Cinder quirked an eyebrow. “Are you hesitant now?”
There was a threatening growl coming from Ras that echoed with the other’s words. Jay closed his eyes, and shook his head. At least… there weren’t any smell to go with the thing. “No. Not at all.”
“Good.” Ras crossed his arms behind his back, walking towards the arena. “Then get ready. You will be tested along our new soldiers.”
Soldiers. Why did he hate that designation? Wasn’t he supposed to be more, with his elemental power?
He adverted his gaze, focusing it back on the inside of this mask. “Sure.”
It was the first time he entered the shadow dojo. The outside had been eerie, with nothing but the strange orange and red light on their paths, but the inside was a whole other deal.
It was… poorly lighted, somehow, despite the bright lights coming from outside, with candles offering a soft blue glow all around them. He wasn’t sure how the flames managed to stay in that hue, but couldn’t really focus on that when he was trying to avoid all the others that entered with him. Some were chatting, apparently already knowing each other.
Jay didn’t want to know anyone in here. He didn’t see the point.
There were runes everywhere as well. He had no idea of what they meant, but they were glistening too, in that same color as the candles. Plants had grown as well on the wall, somehow.
He sat on the ground, unbothered to stay up like the others. From here, he could see that the only one on the ground like him was someone with a large hat, covering most of his face. His eyes were revealed briefly when he raised his head to watch who had come here for the first trial, allowing Jay to recognize him.
He was the guy he had seen many times speak with Ras. Although speak was a light statement; more so yelling and arguing, with the latter always having the last word, letting the other clearly frustrated.
Nokt. That was his name. He remembered him due to the electrical device placed on the back of his head. Even if he wasn’t sure he had heard his name right earlier, since it seemed like he preferred to keep to himself, as proved when he lowered his hat down again, effectively shielding his expression away from everyone else.
But there was something Jay managed to see before he did.
A spark of amusement, of all things, akin to one about to watch some sort of entertainment unfold.
…Jay didn’t think he was going to like that guy.
His attention shifted back to their leader, when he hit the ground with his hammer. He gave a speech, one Jay half-listened to, about being ready to change their lives for this better form of power, and so on and so on. Monologues are always so tiring.
…Where had he heard boring monologues like these before?
A glimpse of- something, from before, barely there, that escaped him as soon as he tried to look for it, smothered away by another hit of Lord Ras’s hammer against the ground, and someone getting on their feet and walking to the center of the room. Jay thanked his luck helping out for once, since he definitely wouldn’t have heard his name if he had been first.
Watching the guy, he gave way to his urge, and started to play with the fur around his neck to keep himself calm. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt like his anxiety was eating him alive, starting with his insides, and pulling on his guts and get him to run away from there as fast as he could.
He gnawed on his lip. He couldn’t make himself worry about nothing. This was just… apprehension, that came with every test he had to take.
Except if he failed this one, he might’ve to be forced back into the Administration. Damn it.
Deciding on ignoring the painful cramps his overreacting unconscious gave him, he focused back on the scene before him, observing the one that had been called.
The guy nodded his head to Lord Ras, and placed the mask on his face. Jay winced, clutching his other hand around the one he was holding; he really didn’t want to know how centuries old flesh would feel on his face. But he supposed he had no choice.
Holding his breath as Ras approached the gong, he tried to think of the power that wearing this mask would mean for him. He knew there was something about a forbidden technique of some sort, the Shatterspin, which he’d been taught the basics, but what about his powers? What would be the effects?
He’d seen Cinder. He’d seen how much quicker and agile he became whenever the mask would fuse with him, and gift him an armor instead of staying as a mask. The red eyes, he wasn’t that fan of, but if it meant finding who he was supposed to be, by feeling his powers better then ever before…
The scar under his left eye throbbed, forcing him to rub it. Not that he didn’t feel his power now, but he didn’t quite think he had a good grasp on it. He managed a few zaps here and there, and sparks to help him when it was completely dark, but other then that, not much else.
There is potential within you, Jay Walker. These had been Lord Ras’s words.
And he couldn’t wait to unleash that potential.
The gong was hit a first time.
Jay jumped out of his skin when the one put on trial shrieked in pain. Someone beside him gasped, letting him know that he definitely wasn’t the only one to be surprised.
He walked back, holding his face in pain and doubling over as the mask’s glowed that bright cyan. Not letting him the time to rest, or even wonder what was happening to him, the gong was hit a second time with a sound that echoed all around them. It was enough to make the room shake, and dust fall from the unexpectedly stable walls of this place. All the blue lights turned red.
The guy screamed again. Jay watched as he tried to remove the mask, pulling on his hair when trying to remove the strap that kept it in place. But it didn’t budge, despite his knuckles turning white from the force he was using for this one thing.
Jay felt sick, witnessing all this. Glancing around, he noticed how disappointed Lord Ras looked, and the way Cinder let his disgust appear.
…Shit.
His attention shifted back to the man in the center when he heard him puke. From here, he couldn’t really see what came out, and couldn’t help his flinch when the sound of retching reached his ears.
Chocking sounds could then be heard. It surely didn’t help when he threw his head back, gasping for air, too far gone to realize that he was making things worse.
Jay couldn’t look away from him. Doing so… doing so would mean he wasn’t cut for this role. It would mean showing weakness, and not being worthy of the chance offered to him.
Doing so would mean abandoning the man to his fate, a far side of his brain whispered. Jay took a deep breath, brushing that thought aside, just like he always had back in the Administration. Kindness and pity weren’t the way to go when one wanted to master Shatterspin, and the power of the Wolf Clan. He remembered Ras’s warnings too well.
Speaking of which, he couldn’t help but check a second time their leader, breath getting stuck in his throat when he did.
Lord Ras was watching them, not the poor guy struggling to survive against the surges of powers that went in his body forcefully. He was quick to understand; he wanted to see who was able to stomach it, and who would be useless in the future to him. And fuck, Jay didn’t think he could do that, but he didn’t have a choice. His body and mind didn’t have a choice.
The man screamed in pure pain and terror one last time, turning Jay’s insides. His hands grabbed at his skin, scratching with abnormal nails that had grown after the gong had been hit a third time. It made deep wounds, forcing crimson to pour out, but it seemed like the man couldn’t care less, just wanting to get rid of that cursed mask.
He heaved, then coughed, falling on his knees with a final yell, yielding to the pressure of energy that must’ve been coursing through his body. Unable to adapt.
And then…
He fell to the ground.
As soon as he did, the red lights came back to the blue hue they had first seen when entering the room.
When others gasped, and some cried, one, Jay heard a snicker. He looked around, trying to see who was sick enough to have that kind of reaction to someone dropping dead in front of them.
He frowned when he found out who.
Now he knew why Nokt had seemed amused at the beginning. He must’ve known this could happen. What a fucking psychopath. He looked away from him, and back at the center of the dojo.
Ras growled, stomping his boot on the ground at the result. He then turned towards Wolf Warriors, a finger pointed at the now dead man. “Get it out of here. We aren’t done yet.”
Shit. Shit. Jay swallowed hard, unable to look away from the blood, as well as the one the corpse left behind when pulled away in a messy trail.
Their leader hit the ground with his hammer, demanding attention from everyone in the room. “The reason he failed, was his resilience against our power. To become powerful, one must learn to bend to the rules that make it all. Only then, can you be one with the Wolf Clan’s powers.” He pointed his weapon towards the recruits, snarling when most of them took a step back in front of it. “Another one of his mistake was doubting me, and being a coward.”
His eyes scanned the room, glaring. “If any of you feel that way as well, you may as well leave. Now.”
That would be a mistake. Yet, some people immediately hurried out, not needing to be told twice. Not a lot- four of them, he counted. Jay closed his eyes, and tried to ignore how two Wolf Warriors followed after them, their claws ready.
What had he gotten himself into? What was going to happen to him?! How many others were going to die? Not that he questioned of the others’ loyalty, but there was no doubt that witnessing that guy’s death must’ve changed their will to join.
Now that Jay knew this was the consequence of failure… fuck. Fuck. His guts were twisting in there, hurting his stomach physically, at this point. His ears were ringing, clouding his mind from everything else. What if all that he had done, all this ‘surviving’ shit, had only lead to his demise?
Jay clenched his fists. He’d never allow that. Cinder had managed to do it, so why wouldn’t he?
This was an opportunity. To find purpose, and a place where he would belong. He couldn’t screw this up. He wasn’t a damn coward. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to fight back the power that was about to allow him a new beginning.
This was a cruel world after all. Hadn’t he learned that over and over again? And he couldn’t be at the bottom of it all just because others weren’t able to keep up.
He would not. He would survive through it all, no matter what it meant to wear that mask.
No matter the price.
Ras called his name. He was the second one to be tested.
Taking a deep breath, he raised his head, and faced the Lord’s eyes with a fierce glare.
Slowly, he got up, ignoring how his stomach still felt like a pit, and how his head was still hurting from the panic he had felt earlier when seeing that man die, his pulse somehow perceivable in his ears.
Still, he got to the center of the room. Only when he did, his eyes found themselves unable to detach from the splatters of blood everywhere. Some were older. Some were on the walls.
They had all witnessed that many times, hadn’t they? And they hadn’t told anyone.
It was… it was…
He took a deep breath. Now wasn’t the time to loose it.
A dark paw handed the mask to him. It allowed Jay to focus his eyes in front of him, and away from the red splatters. Something he regretted doing, when meeting Ras’s eyes.
They were harsh, and unforgiving.
Jay couldn’t mess up.
He was being given a chance. A chance, that could be taken back, and handed to any other elemental master. He wasn’t the only one gifted after all, Cinder was the proof of that. Ras didn’t need him for this grand plan; he had an army, and people ready to follow his every order.
On the other hand, Jay needed Ras. And he owed that new chance at freedom, to him.
Straightening up, he grabbed his mask, and tried to not think back on how it was made of skin. Instead, he tried to concentrate on how there was metal there as well. When tying the strap behind his head, he tried to not remember how the one before him hadn’t been able to remove it when wanting to escape.
No turning back.
Darkness cornered his vision, the latter becoming defined by the constricted sight given to him.
Once settled, he placed both his arms along his body, and nodded to Ras with a dry throat. The latter growled, rearranging his hold on the hammer.
The gong was hit a first time.
The wave of its sound exploded in the room, reaching Jay’s body. It froze him, both his physical shell, and thoughts. Everything had gone silent in his mind, and around him. And he wasn’t sure if this was due to the effect of its power.
Even breathing seemed impossible, in these short seconds. He was completely petrified, finding himself feeling as if he’d been stuck in something so dense and heavy, holding him back. No noise could make it out of his mouth, despite the pain that had started to build up in both his face and chest.
Something had cracked inside of him.
Just as he sensed it, the gong was hit a second time.
It felt like a blow to his chest, making him back away. His bones felt breaking as he did, making him wonder if they could’ve been weakened by the power he had been hoping to obtain.
His ears unblocked. It caused him to be suddenly dizzy, and made his head heavy with the lack of oxygen.
Then his breath hitched, as soon as he noticed the paralyzing effect was gone.
Like breaking out of shallow waters and reaching the surface, he gasped, greedily sucking air. His legs wobbled, making him feel like he was about to loose balance, as both his hands reached for his neck to protect the precious air he was barely able to keep in his trachea.
His skin was itchy everywhere. Something was going on inside of him, turning his veins icy cold.
Something was wrong, and hurting. Something was very wrong.
The rush of his blood too was fast, and strong, making him think that his blood vessels were doubling in size, and perhaps stretching his skin as it grew, leading to his articulations becoming harder to move. It left the impression that everything was about to blow inside of him.
For a second, he wondered if he had died, and if he was about to fall on the floor, just like the man before him had, but then realized that the sound of his heartbeat was still there, and as fucking loud as it was quick.
He was alive. He was-
The gong was hit for the third, and last time.
The final wave forced him to puke, which he went along with, trying his best to not suffocate with it like the first guy. A blink, and he noticed that it was blood, coming out from his mouth in worrying amounts.
His insides abruptly felt like shattering, and he yelled, as his whole body seemed burning up, a harsh and painful contrast compared to what he’d been feeling seconds ago.
Jay wasn’t able to keep a shriek from escaping him, when the power he’d felt in him for as long as he could remember reached for his limbs, and exploded. The scent of burning skin made it to his nostrils, and he held his middle, as if trying to stop his insides from escaping him like his powers had. Only when he did, he sensed his lightning breaking apart.
Millions of pieces, made of parts of his powers, going absolutely insane, and making his body spasm.
Getting electrocuted was a familiar feeling. One he despised, but was never able to escape for too long when it came to dealing with his own incompetence and ignorance. Or when he would redirect lighting on their ship, to protect the ones he cared about.
But just like his power, these thoughts were shattered, making him cry, as his head hurt too much for him to keep up with.
So he didn’t.
He let these words and images get torn into pieces, shards feeling like they came to his heart, pulling his whole torso in a constricting sensation that once again made him think like he was about to die, just like that. The boiling sensation kept on increasing, causing his whole body to feel like he was burning alive.
Something clicked, then, and his vision became too blurry to understand. The red lights made it so he didn’t know where he was anymore, the distant image of people he used to know breaking apart again and again, causing his mind to shatter as well.
And once it was all gone, he vomited again, hugging himself tightly as if trying to at least keep his body in one piece. His shoulders slowly felt heavier, and the fur that had been around his sensitive skin suddenly ceased to be.
Though this was the last thing Jay cared about, as he fell to his knees, the collide with the ground making his bones almost rattle. The way his fingers kept twitching made him wonder how they hadn’t broken yet.
His breathing was difficult, with a voice that had turned hoarse at yells and cries of pain he hadn’t even been aware to be letting out.
He was about to die. He didn’t know how the feeling was so familiar, perhaps due to the blood that accumulated in his breathing pipes, akin to water, filling his lungs until there could be no air passing through. His heartbeat was diminishing, yet it stayed as the only thing Jay could hear.
So he caught it. He caught his heart, for it was all that was left to him.
His will to stay alive. His will to have something of his own, that would make him whole.
And it was a heart burning with rage.
This, was what pulled all the pieces back. What once had tried to escape him, was now caught back by the sheer amount of anger he felt at how fate and destiny had treated him.
What does it mean? The question went away as soon as it brushed his mind, the violent waves of power crushing anything that wasn’t meant to be like it away.
Thoughts. Feelings.
They no longer mattered.
All that mattered was power. Stitching back all that had been separated.
His lightning felt growing. Launching itself and balancing his body in positions and forms that meant both a cry for a help and the picture of a violent force forbidding anyone to get close.
Then came the fusion.
The skin that made the inside of the mask slithered in through his pores, pulling and tearing its way through to have full possession of him, and share its cursed strength to the one that had dared to agree with its ways. Jay wanted to wonder if this was what it meant to meddle with dark magic.
But he couldn’t even do that, screaming again with his broken voice at the violent intrusion he had allowed for someone else’s game.
Foolish. Foolish. He always was foolish.
The foreign matter didn’t bother to be careful, before settling in- although not without damaging the inside of his mouth some more. It forced out more blood out, kicking out whatever was left that wouldn’t be useful to this newfound power.
A final deep breath, and Jay felt…
Liberated.
Gone, was the weight that had been caused by his soul and mind shattering and leaving behind too many pieces to carry. His whole body now felt light, lungs freed enough to give him as much space as needed for the air he needed to live.
The power felt lurking in his systems, flowing and giving him feelings he’d never felt before.
It was pure bliss.
After a few minutes, Jay blinked, his vision coming back, although with nothing to muffle it this time. The euphoric sensation slowly escaped him, letting reality settle back in his mind. Feelings of what was around and on him came back, making him tighten his fists.
He felt as though his sweat had drenched all of his clothes, along the blood. His chest kept expanding in grand moves, each breath making his body quiver, as he tried to catch his breath properly, and return oxygen to his brain.
When he did, his head returned to its previous heavy state, with each pulse increasing the pressure at an impossible rate. Yet, this stayed incredibly dull compared to what having worn the mask the first time had felt like.
He opened and closed his mouth, stretching his jaw to check if it hadn’t changed, or if the muscles there hadn’t torn apart. They had certainly felt so. He checked his limbs as well, particularly his hands, by opening and closing them multiple times.
Everything was good, it seemed.
Bringing his hands up, he checked his face, wanting to make sure everything was still there, and if he hadn’t just imagined the mask going inside of his skin.
But he hadn’t. The mask wasn’t here anymore.
He rubbed at his neck, but scratched himself, making him hiss. He looked at his hands.
Claws had grown, there. The gloves hadn’t even torn, having adapted to the new form they had gained. Closing his eyes, he then oversaw how his powers reacted to the newly added strength.
The response was immediate, surge of powers making his body twitch, and forcing him to gasp for air again. Opening back his eyes, he saw these bridges of electricity between his fingers, going all the way to the tip of his fingers, before disappearing, over and over again.
He chuckled, snapping his fingers. It created a small blow, enough to shake his curls. He then got back up, not bothered to look at the people around him, despite the loud whispers. Directing his gaze in front of him, he then aimed for a wall with his fingers, before sending his lightning there.
The stone that made the wall exploded, pieces of wood and rocks flying everywhere in the room, and allowing dust to float freely.
Jay snickered, feeling this happy buzzing inside of him, always here in the aftermath.
Fuck yeah.
He had missed this so much.
…I wonder who thisused to be.
Walking away from the gravestone, he added the wood to the fire he had prepared for the night.
A caravan was in that junkyard, but he didn’t feel like he was allowed to get inside, even if no one was there. No matter how cold it could get in the desert at night, this wasn’t his home, and he was simply there as a guest. He wasn’t even sure why he had traveled all the way here, but by the time he had realized where he had gone to, the sun had been long gone, leaving him with no choice but to set up camp here.
At least this spot was empty. It was a welcoming change compared to the crowded and suffocating places that had been the Administration or staying with the Wolf Clan. Although he had always been on his own in these previous positions, here the loneliness was one much better then what he’d dealt with in these last few years.
Jay hoped that there at least wouldn’t be any wild creatures to attack him. Fighting back without his powers had proven to be more difficult then he had expected. Thankfully, he had kept the gun from his time in the Administration; a great way to defend himself.
He sat on the ground, and looked at the fire crackling in front of his feet, relieving the itch on his face by scratching it as much as he could. No doubt his skin had not only turned red, but with marks left behind as well. Damn it.
…Being without that mask was going to be very hard. It had adapted to his skin- or maybe it had gifted him a second one. He wasn’t sure. He didn’t understand any of this.
All he knew, was that whenever he had been wearing it, even if for a short time, it had been granting him such an incredible thrill that he already knew just couldn’t be compared.
Oh, he had felt like he was on top of the world. As if nothing could’ve ever stopped his powers and him, from getting back at everything that had been unfair to him up to this point.
Now, all he had left were scars. From wearing this cursed mask, and bearing these powers that had never been truly his, but another’s hidden through his own element.
Jay had no idea if he missed the mask, its power, or if this was all caused by how much he missed his lightning.
His eye twitched; he should’ve listened to his urge, in that moment, and killed her. Destroyed her. And now that he hadn’t, the feeling of regret was unbearable.
He wanted to tear at his skin, but he didn’t even have the claws left for that. Only his poorly taken care of nails, dirty and gnawed by his need to relieve his anxiety and surges of powers every time he hadn’t been wearing the mask.
…Jay missed it all, as much as he cursed it all.
Had he not followed Ras, he would have never lost his powers. Had he stayed in the Administration, in this false life of his, he would have never been bothered by flashes and addictions he had never been prepared to face. He would’ve found his own way to his demise, sure, but at least through a path never led by others.
How had any of what I heard so farsounded right? How could I fall for their lies?
Jay frowned, thinking back on what he had listened to again. He didn’t believe them at all. Their fake stories…
Everyone lies. They’re all the same. Great warrior my ass. Jay now didn’t doubt that Ras could’ve lied to him, and it upset him greatly. What for?! To give him hope, and then crush it all in the next moment because of his so called failure? Gah!
He thought back on that woman he had fought. She too, had pretended to know him.
The sweet tone he could remember from her voice made him grit his teeth.
Even if she and her team had been right, why had they never come for him? It had been years. He had found himself all over again, since then.
“Let’s theorize that it was because they had no idea of where I was. Fine.” Jay clenched his fists. “Why didn’t they come get me when I was kicked out?”
His words were barely above a whisper, not even heavy enough to be carried around by the wind.
He stopped moving, forbid himself from flinching, focusing on the sounds of the burning fire so he could shift it as a background noise so his brain wouldn’t have to bother itself with. He then closed his eyes, and just… listened.
Strong wind, making the abandoned metal around him creak softly, and passing through small and tight openings, whistling all around him.
Deep down, he knew he waited for another noise. The snap of a branch, or the crunch of the sand under someone’s shoe that would make his hair bristle in apprehension. The sign that someone would come for him.
So he waited.
Until moments later, silence was still all that answered him.
He cursed, bringing his knees up to hug them, and huddle in a smaller position.
Jay didn’t know what else he had expected. Of course this wouldn’t happen.
He was alone. He’d always be, in the end. And it seemed like… he wasn’t enough. Not enough to make up for the help given to him, nor enough for people that were supposed to care about him to come back and find him. Loneliness was all that awaited him. He understood that.
… And despite feeling like this, he didn’t feel as he thought low he would’ve.
No. Quite the contrary.
Jay was… appeased. After all, that meant he could finally build a life. Even if it wouldn’t be much.
Throughout the years, he had learned that he had to move forward in order to survive. To do as told, and never question what he was ordered to do, or face consequences. Whether it had been the Administration, or Ras’s Wolf Clan.
So now, knowing for sure that no one and nothing was going to hold him back was freeing. Enough to get rid of these incessant thoughts bugging his mind, at least. Yet not quite enough to get rid of that pressure in his stomach.
Because all of this meant that he had nothing. He never had, and he never would. It left him… empty.
At the end of the day, it meant that he was nothing.
He watched the sparks escaping the fire. Like lightning’s, in a sense, but much less volatile, and not as comforting. He followed their trails, until his gaze ended up towards the stars. Had he known their names, a lifetime ago? The paths they traced, and how they never changed?
But it must’ve changed after the Merge. There was no doubt about that. Even something supposed to never be in motion except throughout centuries had completely shifted, no matter how infinite and big it must’ve always felt to him.
Everything had changed.
How was he supposed to find his past self if nothing was the same?
I don’t. That’s how. There was no need to waste time for something so meaningless. At least he hoped.
He sighed, glad to be protected from the chill of the night.
Warmth whenever it was cold was always a better thing. It was a comforting presence he had never admitted to enjoy in front of him. His… his heart kinda regretted that now.
Jay blinked at the dark sky.
…Who-
Something flashed before his eyes, too fast for him to identify what it was. It aimed for him, reaching its target in a millisecond.
Lightning had just struck him.
He shouted, feeling his powers immediately coming back to him, making him fall on his hands and knees.
Fuck. He hated that feeling. The one of his body getting electrocuted by his own life source, because he just couldn’t control it right.
Come on! He hit the ground with his fist, spitting on the grass as he grasped at the insanity of his power. He kept gritting his teeth, until finally, the lightning settled in, and buzzed happily to be back in its rightful place, with its rightful owner.
Jay took a deep breath. Yeah. Missed you too.
Since the start, his lightning had been the only thing there for him. To be reunited with it again brought tears to his eyes, both of joy, and anger.
At having lost them in the first place. At losing them to that damned water ninja.
I love you, Jay. I will always love you.
The memory of the woman’s desperate face flashed back when he shut his eyes to get rid of his tears.
An act. It wasn’t that difficult to pretend emotions after all, was it?
If he ever saw her again… he was pretty sure he wouldn’t hesitate to kill her.
She hadn’t hesitated to defeat him. Pretty fucked up for someone who was supposed to care, like she wanted him to believe.
Or maybe she’d been following orders, like I was.
Jay shook his head. Whatever the reason, it clearly wouldn’t justify anything. Nor would it tarnish the way his heart dripped hatred into his blood, making him even angrier then before.
The medallion felt heavy in his pocket.
Too heavy, this time.
He took it, and looked at the shape.
…It was a missing piece. He could see that now.
Jay didn’t want to be that. The missing piece of someone instead of being his own person. Of a puzzle he had nothing to do with.
What kind of life could he expect if all he was supposed to be was a pawn placed by others, and never able to have his own free will? The piece in a long chain of supposed important people. Full of important tasks, to serve the greater good of some kind of Great Administration, or a Great Cause of some Delusional Clan.
He’d be no one’s missing piece. No one’s lost part.
He was his own soul. No matter how shattered it felt, and how many little pieces of it were left.
Jay threw the heavy piece in the fire, the weight in his heart never tarnishing during the long time he watched it in the flames, as the moon advanced its course. He stayed that way, holding his limbs tightly against him, while taking deep yet suffocating breaths.
Until, it finally started to melt.
The slightest tint of gold, pearling down as it became a liquid again, and advanced on the darker metal it was attached to.
Never again.
#ninjago jay#hat's fics#hat's words#ninjago dr s2p2#ninjago dragons rising s2p2 spoilers#< I haven't checked the leaks for s3 and i don't want to so idk what they got in store for Jay#but i decided to go with him going solo in this one#idk it's fun#also I kinda started the fic way before s2p2 sooo sorry if it's not lore accurate? oops?#tw gore#tw blood#tw wounds#tw death
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possible patchwork laboratory floor plan
combined from what we see in the manga and anime <3
ok fair warning this is most likely inaccurate because the design for this stupid building is surprisingly inconsistent. but i am trying very hard to make it make sense
so here we have patchwork laboratory right? for the sake of my own sanity i'm going to ignore the batshit positioning of the windows and say there are three floors in the highest part, and two floors on most of the other parts excluding whatever the fuck is going on in the triangle. i'm also going to assume the part of the building all the way to the left as well as the hallway thingy between the two main parts are staircases/connecting hallways rather than full rooms.
so here we have the main room that gets shown, right? i'm gonna call this the office. this is the room with the purple front doors, and it's also got two exits aside from that.
we see marie go through the doors on the right when making tea for ragnarok and crona, so it's safe to say there's something of a kitchen in that direction.
the kitchen is never technically mentioned as far as i know (i haven't finished the manga to be fair) but considering two people live in the building it definitely exists. aside from that, we see a few more rooms when marie is looking for stein.
we've got a full bathroom, a half bathroom, and something that could either be a bedroom or an operation room, i have no idea (also check out the screw doorknobs in the half bathroom lol). aside from these, there's a room that might be separate from the initial office in the manga.
it looks really similar, especially with the computer, but it also looks like it has an interior entrance rather than an exterior one, and there are curtains in there too.
it looks pretty obviously different from when we see the initial office for the first time in the manga, but i can't be sure if that was just because they hadn't gotten the design finalized yet. either way, both rooms seem to be combined in the anime because the couch is clearly in the front room there, despite being in the room with curtains in the manga.
let's say, though, that the curtain room is separate. it's probably just on one of the higher floors. so that adds a second office to the list of rooms. in all, we have office, curtains office, bathroom, half bathroom, kitchen, and bedroom/operation room. aside from the first office and the kitchen, though, they could all be anywhere.
this is what i came up with, stein seems to like experimenting with plants (the pot w the syringe thingy in it and the trees outside w stitches) and i figured the top floor would get a lot of light so he might use it for plant experiments. and that's probably where marie could have slept when she was staying there.
also i forgot to put stairs in the kitchen area but they would be there to get up to the possible bedroom area on the second floor.
anyway that's all i've got! again i could be totally off base this is just something i wanted to get out cause i've been thinking about it for forever.
bonus: it seems like stein redoes the arrows on the floor to correspond around any furniture.
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‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 55 SPOILERS‼️
masterlist | all lessons | season 3 | lesson 54 | lesson 55.2
not they ended last lesson on the cliffhanger and barely addressed it in this one 🧍🏾
honestly that's on par for someone as closed off as raphael but FUCK i wanted some insight on how he's actually feeling. what's up with angels and not letting themselves show weakness ???
also the fact that this part of the lesson is called "back to the sorcerer's society" ??? mc's had too many death scares i can't keep doing this
gotta get all the mammon crumbs i can now that i know that the stupid date feature is 30 FUCKING DOLLARS 😐 i'm semi p2p but this shit is getting more and more ridiculous as the days drag on. like i'll just use character and and fanfiction atp
it's the way that i forgot the fact that mc's existence can literally tear apart reality at the seams. like that whole thing that happened in season 3 (4?) of og when simeon had to steal lucifer's ring and ended up becoming human bc of it
i feel like his punishment would've been way more lethal if the stakes weren't so dire. mc having lucifer's ring was the only sure fire way to ensure stability within and between the human, celestial, and demon realms without having any of them implode
this also explains why magic sickness is so concerning for mc specifically. to quote marvel, kayden is probably this universe's anchor being. if they go down, so does everything else in the timeline
me and sol got beef now bc what /lh
like yes he did what had to be done but did he HAVE to do what had to be done ????
also the fact that mc broke the measuring device after solomon had to fix it with reinforcements bc he himself broke the device before is so ??? like how fucking strong is mc ??????
this brings even more of a concern to the fact that a war breaking out between any of the realms would literally be life and death. if any of the brothers or their friends family get hurt, mc would cause irreparable damage to whoever or whatever is closest to them, whether the target caused the problem or not. like that's terrifying
this is why i love satan
he's almost more no-bullshit than lucifer is, which makes sense all things considered. in his eyes they still don't know anything about mc's power. all this is to satan is an educated guess, and when it inevitably gets disproved, then what? what if they do end up hurting someone
i doubt that'll happen since there's so little time left in this season but idk. it's not entirely out of the realm of possibility
i'm very glad that they used the very obvious answer as to why mc's powers are going haywire, bc the whole "it's just bc they're so loving and kind" thing just seemed like a cop out to me. like where are the stakes. what about the first 40 lessons of the game
ANYWAYS i'm very interested to see how this'll play out. part of me thinks diavolo and lucifer already know bc 1) they're not stupid and 2) dia is in close enough proximity to the time demon himself to know when something happened to the time stream (or as barbie himself called it, "time soup")
like look at the way barbatos reacted and the way diavolo immediately changed the subject. they both know something's going on, but whether or not diavolo knows the specifics is up in the air
satan is also the funniest mf on the planet idc argue with the wall. he really is the product of all his brothers bc this SCREAMS mammon and levi
:((( poor raph
i honestly can't even imagine what it feels like. the only angels he probably has left that he's actually close to are michael and maybe luke. even then, he probaboy sees luke as someone he can't confide in and feels like he's losing his brother(s) all over again
at least with simeon in purgatory hall, he can delude himself into thinking that simeon's still an angel. but if he's not there anymore, it's all but set in stone that he's lost what little connection he had left to simeon and, in a way, the other brothers, bc luke wasn't around or old enough to remember pre-war times
on a brighter note...michael lore. kinda. and mephisto being a kisser of multiple asses (mephisto fans i'm sorry he's so fun to dog on)
i wish he could get his head outta his ass though. like actually. just pay your boyfriend a visit ffs, he'd be beyond happy to see you
of COURSE he's not in his room and of COURSE this is how the lesson ends
watch lesson 60 end with a michael-related cliffhanger. like watch them tease his design reveal and then just cut the shit off right before he's shown
but i need the michael design asap i'm so serious. solmare count your days
#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me spoilers#nightbringer spoilers#obey me nightbringer spoilers#obey me lucifer#obey me raphael#obey me mc#obey me mammon#obey me solomon#obey me satan#solomon obey me#mammon obey me#mc obey me#obey me barbatos#obey me diavolo#obey me mephisto#obey me mephistopheles#raphael obey me
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#p4#p4g#persona 4#persona 4 golden#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#MAN I SWEAR WHEN THIS CONVERSATION HAPPENED I WAS SWEATING BRICKS IN WORRY#anyway i forgot to save before speaking to yosuke so i dont know what the other options are BUT YOU KNOW YU HAD TO ASK IF HE WAS OK#thinking about that comic where yosuke was being harrassed by some punks#theres something about the way hes telling this story that feels like he was treating it as being incidental. as whatever.#like “oh yeah im fine?? anyway thats not the point of the story i wanted to tell you about how they were so terrified of kanji”#LIKE DUDE. BUDDY. YOUR LIFE WAS IN DANGER. DONT DISMISS IT LIKE THAT#the fact that bro came so close to being beaten up and it was a conversation that could have been easily missed#like if yu hadnt run into him at night was yosuke just going to... not bring it ip?#(yes of course he wouldn't you know what hes like!! he wouldn't want to be a bother on yu. nothing happened after all!!)#BBYGIRL PLS!!? YOSUKE MY BOY PLS RELY ON YOUR FRIENDS TOO....#anyway i think a yosuke protection squad should form they should start going home in pairs#he's good with his queue
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Apparently in my absence this post had its 1000-notes-iversary.
This time we get to see the culprit responsible for ruining our heroes' lives as well.
I've really missed you guys, by the way. I know I've said that already, but I'm serious. Once or twice this year I've been right on the brink of coming back but schedule stuff always keeps me from letting myself commit to that again, and that in turn has kept me from posting anything at all. But I've been in an unexpected drawing mood lately and so if I can get enough stuff to set up a queue we might pretend I'm back for a month or so sometime this year. Maybe. Hopefully. We'll see. No promises though. That's why I'm hiding this paragraph under the cut.
Transcription:
[Beren:] "Uhhh...barkeep...I think he's had enough now..." [Tolkien:] "No, I don't think he has...!"
#beren#bilbo#frodo#tolkien#túrin#the man the myth the legends#beowulf except everybody is short#one shiny#three shinies#everyone deserved better except mîm#what's this a happy ending#my trash#is this actually funny or am i just tired#i'm sorry professor tolkien#/end classification tags#túrin keeps becoming a bigger and bigger guy in my drawings and at this rate he's going to be way taller and broader than he should be#canonically he was really tall and broad but i don't think the professor meant like THIS#at least it makes him really distinct i guess#gonna be sufficiently intimidating for the dagor dagorath#but in the meantime he's just making beren look like a schoolkid in this doodle#(and as i'm sitting here writing these tags i suddenly realize i forgot túrin's white hair streaks again)#(tsk tsk shame on me)#(and didn't it say somewhere that beren's hair also turned grey...? i can't remember where it said that though)#(0 for 2 i have failed all of us)#ANYWAY in my absence tumblr apparently changed formatting again which is not cool but whatever#it's nice to draw again#i've had art block for like 9 months straight#and suddenly this month i suddenly was able to write AND draw again as if i never stopped#i've had writer's block since maybe 2021 so that was the most surprising part#weirdest thing ever but i'm not mad about it
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there’s also just Something About female characters who are jealous of the men around them for getting to behave in certain ways that they just can’t. like you can just act like that? you don’t have to maintain a carefully curated and constructed image of yourself to present to the world so people don’t treat you like shit? i’m not gonna universalize but i do believe most women feel this way at least at some point in their lives, i feel it all of the time and it drives me fucking insane
#that’s the thing with kie from outer banks for me like. she just wants to be allowed to act like the guys and just like. fuck around i guess#like just to hang out and to do whatever she wants and like to be herself and still be accepted#like she is tone deaf when it comes to like. complaining about her supportive family and better-than-stable financial situation lol#but she feels so trapped! and so alienated! and she can’t escape this role she keeps getting trapped in!#as a Daughter! or a Love Interest!#and like a big part of that is actually kind of just Bad Writing lol but i will take what i want from this story lol#i am going through the scraps i am scavenging it for working parts i am creating meaning where the writers forgot to etc#anyway aaaaaaaaa
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THE KNITTING SAGA BUT HERMES IS A DUMMY
update: my co-writer friend FINALLY got a tumblr account, so I can tag them now!!
previously: part 1 part 2 part 3
next: part 5
m'kay, so, we've talked about Athena & Telemachus' issues. now let's touch on Hermes, because a Diva™ like him deserves his own post. and also because this had been sitting in my notes for so long i've genuinely forgotten about it (i'd say that it's what translating a musical does to you, but honestly my attention span is just shit)
now, as much as I love Soft Boi!Hermes, I even more so love prankster Hermes who doesn't really recognize personal boundaries or the meaning of 'too far'. he's the guy who'll commit to the bit so far, he'll commit mass murder with a Tee-Hee and genuinely wonder what has got everyone so upset.
kid!Telemachus, holding a cup of poison: grandpa, are you sure it's a good idea? I'm scared… Hermes, laughing his ass off in the corner: of course I'm sure, champ! it'll be hilarious! good ol' game of Ithacean Roulette! now dump it into the wine, let's see who we'll get this time!
at the same time, he's not selfish. he's very keen on doing things for the people he likes, and he cares enough to know when someone is distressed. he, as a god, is just so removed from traditional human morality that casual acts of cruelty are perfectly acceptable to him, while, for example, breaking an oath is a horrible sin.
think blue and orange morality stuff.
telemachus, outraged: …murdered his own family, can you imagine? hermes, equally outraged: I know, right? he gave a blood oath and broke it! disgusting! telemachus: why is that your only concern?!
but don't worry, helping to raise Telemachus and hanging around the same people consistently makes a real boy outta him gives him enough time and insight into humanity to start understand mortals better, and, as consequence, adopt some of their values.
especially the concept of spousal loyalty. Hermes is a patron god of thieves, and at the time taking someone's wife was viewed as an act of theft (because women were property, yeeesh). which is why to him Penelope's situation was less of a tragedy and more of a "well, my dumbass great-grandson Odysseus should've seen it coming. snooze you lose! ¯_(ツ)_/¯"
that is, until he gets to know her better. and suddenly she's not a prize to be won or a challenge to conquer. she's a smart, capable person that commands respect from anyone who's got a shred of self-awareness. she's got gentle hands, and a radiant smile, and a spine of steel. Penelope looked Hermes dead in the eyes and told him serenely to keep being a good influence on her son, she does not deserve to be reduced to a token and given away to the highest bidder.
hermes, initially: well, penelope's a rich, gorgeous, basically single queen. I'd steal her too, if she was my type. hermes, 10 years later: she's the smartest, ballsiest human woman I've ever met and if she only wants her Ugly Ass Groom then she'll fucking stay single until he comes back.
unfortunately for everyone else, Hermes cannot step in to protect her, because Zeus and Poseidon are both pissed off at Odysseus already, and if either of them notices Hermes (and/or Athena) interfering with mortals on Ithaca, they might take it as an invitation to follow suit, and then it'll be Troy Story 2: Electric Boogaloo.
so he stays his hand, and hangs around Telemachus discreetly, mostly posing as a human. for a god of liars, he's surprisingly bad at blending in for long periods of time. Hermes thinks he's an awesome conspirator. meanwhile little Telemachus didn't even realise it was a secret.
the only people who don't know that [insert alias] is a god in disguise are the suitors, who are notoriously either too stupid, too overconfident or too busy drinking to connect the dots. the exception is Antinous who pretends to be oblivious and makes sure the gods don't see him as a threat to their beloved little pup (otherwise he'd have killed the prince long ago).
the suitors, however, unanimously agree that they hate this weird annoying stranger, and try to get rid of him in increasingly elaborate ways, from poison to stabbing to wild animals to dropping pots on his head.
spoiler alert: it doesn't work.
hermes, next day: *comes back every morning like nothing had happened, whistling cheerily* suitors: WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!
eventually Antinous convinces them to give up so they don't piss off Hermes.
years pass, Telemachus grows. Athena teaches him strategy and arts of war. Aeolus gradually comes out of the hiding and becomes the resident lovable comic relief side character. and Hermes? he teaches the kid all the good stuff.
and it's not just lying, okay? (though it's a significant part of it) music, diplomacy, geography, street smarts, some history. he's a worldly god, had observed and been a part of countless cultures. above all else, he knows people. he may not really understand them, but he knows how to get what he wants from them, how to find common ground and how to spin things to get along with practically anyone.
and girls. Hermes helps Telemachus with girls.
because he's the cool uncle figure that Telemachus admires, the kid trusts him enough to ask the god for advice when he starts growing older and gets his first crush in his early teens.
and, on one hand, Hermes is ecstatic. on the other one…
telemachus, blushing and stuttering: there's a girl I met, she's so pretty, and cool, and, and, and how do I talk to her, do I just come up and say hi, but what if sh- hermes: … hermes: *blue screen of death* hermes: MY BABY-
it's the first time he truly starts to grasp how short the kid's life will be. because in the blink of an eye he turned from a newborn to an adolescent, and soon enough he'll have his own family, and Odysseus was already a king himself at this age, and Hermes is not ready this can't be it he can't just grow old and die
so anyway, he pushes the thought aside and pretends it never came up at all (because that always works, and bottling shit up never blows up in anyone's face, right, Athena?)
he gives lots of advice, from useless macho stuff to golden nuggets like "be yourself" and "show her respect". and, of course, he cheers from the sidelines, hiding 'inconspicuously'.
and it goes surprisingly well. the girl appears to find Telemachus' awkward attempts at flirting sweet and charming, and the boy is on the cloud nine.
but Hermes isn't. because, unlike the prince, his judgment isn't clouded by a puppy crush and he can see that the girl is actually a lying bitch, who's playing Telemachus like a fiddle, hoping to become the next queen of Ithaca. and he won't stand for it.
except Telemachus, for some reason, doesn't seen thrilled when Hermes tells him to dump the girl?? he flat out refuses to believe that, because love is blind and so are sheltered insecure teenage boys.
so Hermes, in his infinite wisdom, decides to prove to his naive little charge once and for all that the girl is just using him and doesn't actually love him. now, what's the first example of true selfless love from a woman that comes to mind to the god who had spent the last few years hanging out with the royal family of Ithaca? right, Penelope. and the one thing that characterises Penelope is her unconditional loyalty, even into the face of countless threats and temptations.
hermes, to himself: so, if I show the kid that the bitch will leave him as soon as she finds a better prospect, he will definitely admit I was right all along! and dump her! it's a perfect, easy, foolproof plan! I am so smart! what could possibly go wrong!
another spoiler alert: everything goes wrong.
the girl does happily jump into his arms as soon as he hints that he's a god/demi-god/just a cooler prince or something. she does it right in front of Telemachus, in fact, so there's no way he'd be able to deny the obvious.
on the bright side, Hermes immediately outs her as a lying bitch and publicly shames her, embarrassing her family and ruining her prospects of marriage and causing her to suffer for the rest of her life ('disproportionate revenge'? what's that?).
on the down side, for some unfathomable reason, Telemachus doesn't seem very grateful??? what???????
hermes: and so, AS ALWAYS, I was right. telemachus: hermes: but please, hold your applause! telemachus: hermes: I did it all for you, out of the goodness of my heart! telemachus: hermes: and please, don't apologize! you were wrong, I get it! no need to- telemachus: *bitch slaps his smug face and runs away, hurt and betrayed* hermes: *shocked pikachu face*
thing is, Hermes doesn't understand what he did wrong. in his mind he did a rather good deed: showed the liar's true colors, and spared the kid a lot of heartache down the line. he doesn't understand the feelings of betrayal from having someone he trusts explicitly outing him as a naive fool in front of everyone he ever dreamed of earning respect from. doesn't get the pain of having been cast aside by someone he liked in favor of a god, with whom he could never compete. can't imagine living in the shadow of someone he had never even known and being constantly reminded of all the ways he's lacking.
telemachus: I'm not a stupid child, hermes. I could've handled it. hermes: but you didn't listen to me, maybe you'd have never seen it on your own- telemachus: and maybe I would've. maybe I would've had the opportunity to find out myself, and maybe I would've learned from it, but you never gave me that choice, did you?! did you think i'm that dumb?! hermes: oh, come on, kid, you're not dumb- telemachus: THEN WHY DO YOU TREAT ME LIKE I AM?! WHY DON'T YOU EVER TRUST ME?!
aaaaand there's the core issue. Telemachus had spent his whole life being babied at best and looked down upon at worst. constantly compared to Odysseus and his more vicious peers, always shielded from making tough decisions and proving himself. he feels like he will never amount to anything, because no one ever lets him really try. as soon as it looks like he's going to make a mistake, someone (usually Athena, Aeolus or Hermes) swoops in and 'fixes' everything for him, just like they used to do when he was an accident-prone toddler. which he isn't anymore.
and Hermes doesn't understand that. to him, ten years is basically nothing. the kid can't have changed that much in ten years. because if he did, then he'll change a lot in the next ten years, and the next, and very soon he won't change anymore, because ten years are nothing and so are human livespans.
ten years are nothing, because to admit otherwise would force Hermes to face the fact that Telemachus, no matter how precious, is just as mortal as any other human. which amounts to basically losing him already. and Hermes can't.
he held that boy as an infant. he fed him, helped to teach him walk and talk and make silly faces. he can't lose this child to time, the one thing even gods can't really protect humans from.
Penelope finds Hermes sitting on her balcony with the most human expression on his face she'd ever seem him wear. he's lost, and confused, and full of regrets, and kind of terrified. in that aspect, he reminds her painfully of her husband.
hermes, mumble: he's growing older penelope, sighing: I know hermes: he's not a baby anymore penelope: believe me, I know hermes: but... what do I do now??? penelope: you let it happen. not much else you can do.
she talks him through it.
hermes, rambling: but I will lose him. I'll lose him if he grows old and dies. this is why I don't get attached to mortals, you die too soon. he can't die now. penelope: he's not going to die now. he'll become the king first, he will find a good wife and have children and grandchildren. he will become great, greater that I and his father could ever dream of. and he'll be happy. don't you want to see that? hermes: I do, but- I don't want him to grow up! penelope: then you finally know the biggest joy and the deepest pain of parenthood.
it doesn't fix his fear. doesn't fix his pain, either. but it does help fix his attitude.
because she's right. Telemachus is growing old, and he can't shelter and protect the boy forever. soon he'll become a man, then an elder. and there's nothing Hermes can do about it, short of dragging the prince to Olympus and begging Zeus to grant him immortality, which will never work.
Hermes and Telemachus make up, of course. the latter knows, deep down, that the former is just trying to take care of him. they make up and forget the fight - at least, the boy does.
Hermes will always remember.
and he will count every day, every wrinkle, every grey hair.
the joy and pain of parenthood indeed.
#the knitting saga au#epic#epic the musical#greek gods#greek mythology#headcanon#hermes#telemachus#penelope#we only have one greek god of emotional intelligence and that is hestia#the rest are fucked lmao rip#there was supposed to be more eldricth horror grandpa hermes#but i'm way more into angst#empty nest syndrom is real and ruthless#“(s)he steals my mascara and all of my dates”#selena beauregard 🤝 telemachus of ithaca#penelope is a saint and a badass#but more onto that at a later date again#also#hurt/comfort#found family#in case someone finds this 8 years later and gets into the mood you're free to add whatever onto the headcanon train#cause even I don't know where i'm going with these and I rarely post anyway#translating epic is taking way too much time#not that i'm complaining#I love my work#two things to add that I forgot to tag before:#1: if you spot the reference - it's intentional#2: everyone but the suitors know hermes is a god; especially servants#and they all collectively choose to ignore that because they Are Not Paid Enough To Deal With That™
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Things that I know about A Stitch In Time prior to listening to it:
Garak goes to spy school, which is for spies (for some reason the idea of this is amusing to me. like I get it duh of course the Order must have some sort of training system but also. fanfic ass trope. Spy School! For Spies! it's even a boarding school and everything. DARKEST ACADEMIA)
Garak performs a classic bisexual rite of passage by falling in love with both members of an older(?) married couple (or well textually probably only the wife. I feel like I'd have heard about it if he were Betacanonically Queer (TM) in this book. but here's hoping I'll be astonished while listening!)
I can't remember if I read anything specific about it or not but just based on vibes alone I do not have high hopes for this couple's like. life expectancy.
Based on vibes alone I do not have high hopes for ANY character's life expectancy in this book tbh. If it involves Cardassians in general and Garak in specific I usually just assume everyone involved is doomed. This is going to be a FUN 12 hours and 28 minutes!
There was a post somewhere that mentioned that some supernatural magical stuff happens in this book and I'm SO FUCKING STOKED. HERE'S HOW GARAK ORB EXPERIENCE CAN STILL WIN!!!!
The entire concept of this book is so funny to me. Garak goes 7 years being ohhh so mysterious to Julian about himself or his past and then just spills his whole life story to him in a letter as soon as they're separated. Babygirl is going through Bashir Withdrawal Syndrome.
Most importantly KELAS MY BEST FRIEND KELAS FROM ONE (1) LINE OF CANON!!!!! I have no actual evidence that he ever shows up in this book but like he has to right. right. he's absolutely everywhere on ao3 y'all had to have gotten him from somewhere. I assume.
#forgot to actually post this so I did technically start listening by now but shhhh#anyways it just occurred to me that there's like a trillion ST books and multiple different ones that deal with Cardassians and with Garak#and maybe some of this stuff is actually in some entirely different book for all I know :|#look it's not my FAULT there's no like fuckin CHART of which books I'm supposed to read in what order#I need like. an idiot's guide to the betacanonverse.#starky's original posts#wasn't there one book where like Julian was in a coma?? is that where he's canonically at rn in the betacanon?? in a fucking COMA???#I know there's also one where Garak Fucking Dies (??!!)#do all these take place in the same universe???????#WHATEVER. BABY GARAK TIME. LET'S GO.#A Stitch In Time#star trek: deep space 9
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does anyone remember when team salvato had that “for fans by fans” fanart merch contest, but like it had a backstory that monika “wasn’t allowed to participate” cause “she always wins and it would be unfair :(” but like all images of her and mentions of her name were glitched out, and in the background of the promo art there was a piece of paper with her poem “Hole in Wall” mostly erased (and not even in her font asset, just in the neutral/MC handwriting font) so all signs pointed to monika’s file being deleted
but then literally none of that was ever directly acknowledged in the posts or the merch for the contest, or in ddlc+ lore, or on other posts from team salvato’s twitter or monika’s twitter account? so, though it probably wasn’t intended to be lore to begin with, we never got any context for it, even within the constraints of the “backstory” for this specific contest?
…no? just me? ok.
#ddlc#original post#silly post but this is one of the ddlc things that lives in my head rent free#that and the anniversary stream from the same year with the fanmade mod#i forgot what it was called#brain blanking#i miss back in 2020 when team Salvato was trying to generate excitement for ddlc+ so ddl#*ddlc got a bunch of internet content and like a big celebration for the anniversary#but also cause. that’s around the time I got into the game and entered the fandom. so I was spoiled as a new fan#and now I am left to my own devices to generate content…and also fan content of course#anyway. i don’t actually know what to make of that whole contest thing#and any possible lore implications#so I’m just making this post where I go ‘damn that was crazy’#i still kinda like the idea that. the girls didn’t do anything to Monika. she just did that for attention#and they were like. ok. fake your death then whatever#we’re still not letting you win#or that’s what happens when Monika doesn’t get enough attention. like tinker bell#OR the more actual lore MatPat esque theory#that Monika’s file was ‘gone’ because she somehow escaped#and the other girls were covering for her with the contest and the explanation that ‘ohh well we didn’t want her to win so…yeah…’#TWITCH WRITES that’s the other thing I was thinking of#and btw. i wrote the end of this post like that on purpose. :3
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now that sonic prime is over im even more confused about people insisting that its canon and will tie into the game timeline somehow and its place in the timeline will be clear by time the show ends . like all the little contradictions that make it hard to believe this is the game universe aside. theres no undeniable in universe evidence that this is the game canon and not just a separate universe thats more faithful to the games than any of the other sonic tv shows are. and theres also no hint to where this would take place if it was canon aside from shadow and rouge being there but that doesnt really narrow it down much . this whole situation is just confusing and weird
#sonic prime#sonic prime spoilers#tagging because i will go into spoiler territory a bit but i saved it for the tags so people could look away if they forgot#to blacklist the spoiler tags or whatever#anyway i guess it doesnt Really matter. because with the way it ended the events of the show dont affect game canon too much#and nobody but sonic (and possibly shadow? his situation is weird im not really sure if he remembers. but i hope he does)#remembering the events of prime would work as an in universe explanation for why prime is never talked about or referenced at all#but idk. the insistence that its 100 percent canon is still weird . for all the reasons i said already#ngl i was worried that there would be an absolutely shitty ending that makes some stupid pointless change to the game lore#but that didnt even happen and its still not clear where this would take place if it was canon hello#i probably wouldnt even care about this at all if people didnt keep trying to convince me it was canon and that its place#in the timeline would make sense by the end but that is what happened and that is why i cared#whatever
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#this one's like a fucking mystery. who's that pokémon?? what pokémon is this?? you can't fucking tell unless you open the cut or read below#where i tag what pokémon it is. i think i'm gonna put this one's tags above the actual name of the pokémon just to throw y'all for a loop#because this one? i don't even KNOW what counts as front-facing. i'm ASSUMING it's the top one?? but the prey eyes are just#unbelievable so i included that one under the cut. i don't even know if i can consider that “prey eyes” at this point. what is this thing??#what's the thing protruding?? a mouth?? it doesn't lend itself to making it look any more like a moon! it just— it just protrudes!!#i really just don't understand. what or why this pokémon is or exists. what type is it? pure psychic?#nnnNNAURP rock/psychic. can't believe i forgot about the rock typing considering the way that guy with the solrock in swsh#raid battles used it. whatever i think i've successfully revealed what pokémon this is by now#lunatone#and yes‚ i know now that zangoose walks on all fours in pmd. THANK YOU!!! FOR TELLING ME. EVERYONE ON TUMBLR#i got it when the first person told me. i looked them up. i saw them. with my eyes. i feel like i've talked about pmd enough in these tags#and in asks that i've answered that you all should know how much of a pmd fan i am by now but i guess it's GOOD TO CONFIRM#perhaps no one really does read these tags. unless they have an opportunity to correct me. lasered in on that#i'm not like mad i'm just like WOW everyone told me. that is SO many people telling me after the first one did and i know SO hard#anyway. i'm gonna go remove these tags from the dusclops post. pphhhheew
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Ok you know what's kinda funny about "Jackson's Diary", or rather "plot twist-y"?
So, ok, imma be honest, when I started the comic I thought it was bl or lgbt or something. Be it the art or the description or the fact that everything I read is gay, I thought this was some kind of enemies to lovers/as magic stuff is going on around the school or something
I really thought the 2 mains were gonna end up together
And I wasn't the only one who thought that cause a lot of the comments were talking about it
But no. Soon you realize they're all very straight, exer is still in love with his ex girlfriend and Jackson kinda gets in a love triangle with exer's ex and the girl exer bullied last year. Also it's set in like- the 80s? Soo. They probably don't know what gay is. (Or they ignore it yknow)
But....
"Wasn't David bi in the canvas version?" said the comments "Yeah he was I think he liked Exer"
So then I'm trying to figure out if he's bi, and some chapters later he's literally making heart eyes around exer but like, in the background
And he's not that important at the time so I'm like oh ok great he's the comedic relief stereotypical gay character?
And exer is like... straight and in love with David's twin sister so nothing will happen right?
Jokes on me
Like 100 chapters later and this is Exer's reaction to David saying they're friends
The gay panic
Had me fooled there honestly
Also ok, I know my post is focused around the gay romance here, but like the comic is really interesting I do recommend it
Jackson goes to a new school and he is the only one who can see some kind of "green magic" messing around with his daily life
Shit happens, he makes friends, he gets into love triangles as I mentioned before (not for that long, thankfully) he gets into fights and makes new friends again
The characters are all very interesting, I was gonna say nice, but then realized half of them are assholes, currently it seems like they're trying to be better people tho
And even though it's set in the 80s it seems most of the main characters were accepting of the lgbt ones (well ok so far 2 people know about it so yknow, ) the only assholes were some bullies literally called Rick and Marty who used gay as a slur or something like 50 chapters ago
Well, and I can't really say anything much without spoiling more, I've already talked enough about their sexualities I'm not telling you what's happening with the green stuff
#some background checks on the characters#Jackson just moved back here and lives with his foster family his tía and tío(aunt&uncle) along with Ronald some Russian guy who also lives#with them but i dont remember where he came from? like?is that some kind of Erasmus? foster? idk i forgot. He doesn’t speak much. BUT WHEN#HE DOES. that little κατινα knows too much. anyways. then we've got exer who lives with his dad and hes the popular guy at school#his best friend david who lives with dad and then there's David's twin- Brenda who lives with their mom#and Pamela who used to be friends with brenda but shit happened#in most recent chapters we met new characters like Timothy Ken and Lola? help i forgot her name#wait was his name ken or kev#whatever the other guy is named Timothy i know that#those 3 became close friends at detention. they've been there since like- last year#they did shit. wasn't their fault. i mean ok yeah it was- but it was an accident you know? they're good kids#oh there's also a cat named Lucy-fuurrr#and i need to go to sleep#jackson's diary#webtoon#comic#sugarenia talks#sugarenia thoughts
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'you should keep your pet informant on a shorter leash, doctor'
#shinzaya#izashin#durarara!!#drrr!!#drrr#izaya orihara#shinra kishitani#trash squared#shinzaya fanart in the year....whatever year this is...*sweats*#shinra cheerfully: i'm not izaya's keeper!! izaya: oh i guess that's right there's no promises i have to behave :3#some AU where celty is there but izaya bulldozes his way into being shinra's weird crush/situationship/ambiguous relationship status after#the whole stabbing thing....for some unbelievable confluence of factors it works#anyways! shinra has a meeting with some...definitely dangerous guys of some dangerous org who want him to patch up someone#izaya somehow just happens to End up visiting at the exact same time giving clear 'if u do anything to hurt this guy i won't hesitate#to Run u out of the city and bring ur organization to the ground' vibes et cetera#well...yeah#my art#sorry i forgot to tag ur name shinra there was just So Much going on here in the ramblings#my stuff
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