#but that didnt even happen and its still not clear where this would take place if it was canon hello

[sonknuxadow]

now that sonic prime is over im even more confused about people insisting that its canon and will tie into the game timeline somehow and its place in the timeline will be clear by time the show ends . like all the little contradictions that make it hard to believe this is the game universe aside. theres no undeniable in universe evidence that this is the game canon and not just a separate universe thats more faithful to the games than any of the other sonic tv shows are. and theres also no hint to where this would take place if it was canon aside from shadow and rouge being there but that doesnt really narrow it down much . this whole situation is just confusing and weird

[i-cant-sing]

Time Traveller AU part 11

Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Part 6 is here. Part 7 is here. Part 8 is here. Part 9 is here. Part 10 is here. Time Traveller au masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Part 12 is here!

Your eyes are closed as you travel through time and space, wondering where you'll end up this time. Surely, if the universe saved you one more time, it means you'll probably end up in a better place-

Your eyes snapped open at the loud sound of thunder. You're staring up at the sky, dark clouds lightening flashing across it and-

I'm still falling!

You're not able to breathe until you take a gasp just as you hit the ground below you-

Wet. No, not ground. You look around in the dark water, not able to visualise anything before adrenaline kicks in and you start to swim to the surface.

You gasp as you come up and look around you.

You're in the sea. You're in the middle of the sea!

Your heart is drumming against your chest as you look up at the sky. Its dark, filled with heavy cloud and thunder. As the waves around you begin to move, your blood runs cold.

Storm. Sea storm.

Before you're able to react, though you doubt you could've prepared yourself, the waves crash down on you, pulling you back under the waters. No matter how hard you try to come back up, the waves thrash you here and there, insistent on drowning you. Even if you're able to break the surface for a few seconds, you're only able to take in so much air before getting waterboarded by the sea.

You're thrashing about under the waters, your body starting run out of adrenaline and reaching exhaustion, when you spot something in the corner of your eye.

Its a dark, huge figure. Horizontal, streamlined-

Shark. Its a fucking shark!

You'd scream if your body would listen to you. But you froze, and for some reason, your mind went on autopilot and made you raise your fists.

What? Fight the shark? What the fuck Y/n-

The shark was less than 5 feet from you when an orca came out of nowhere and attacked the shark.

You could only watch as the two sea animals fought each other, the killer whale clearly winning as the shark's thrashing began to subdue. That was the last thing you saw before losing consciousness, praying to God someone finds your body at least.

-

You wake upto the sound of a woman screaming.

Screaming. So, I must be in hell. Huh.

Your eyes flutter open and you look around the large white room you're in.

Its a hospital ward.

Your gaze falls on the shrieking female patient, currently being strapped to her bed as nurses try to inject her with something.

"Oh, you're awake." A nurse states as she comes by your side, noticing the English accent. "Didnt think you would after they found you washed up on the shore. You were shivering all over!"

Ah, nearly drowned. Nearly had hypothermia. Maybe I should have a "near-death" board.

You cleared your throat. "Where am I? How long was I out?"

"You're in London, honey. It was the nearest hospital from where'd they found you. You've been here for a day." She watched you sit up. "Where you from, dearie?"

Pressing your temples, you answered. "Just... around."

Her face turned somber. "You're one of those, arent you?"

"One of who?" You narrowed your eyes at her. "One of who?"

"One of the damned who spread their filth-!" She snarled, stopping when she saw a doctor come up. "Hello, Dr Lowe!" The doctor merely gave her a nod, his eyes fixed on you. "And how are you, miss-?"

"Y/n." Whats the point of lying with another name? Its not like they'd find a record of you.

"Miss Y/n." He nodded. "Do you remember what happened? Why you were on the beach?"

"Um..." You tried to come up with an excuse. "I think... I was trying to swim."

Dr Lowe raised a brow. "Swim? In the winter?"

"Mmhm. Better to prepare myself for the summer." You feigned a smile, not receiving one back.

"Why?" The nurse asked, shrinking when the doctor shot her a glare.

"For... for fun?" You answered, unsure. What, is swimming a crime here?

"And you were swimming in... these clothes." You look down, noticing you were still in the Ottoman attire, wearing a flimsy gown.

"I was rehearsing for a play." The lie rolled out easier this time.

"Are you married?"

"No." I just escaped several attempts though. "Are we done here? I need to get home."

"And where would that be?" The doctor asked, crossing his arms as he looked at you.

"Outside of London. I dont feel comfortable telling you the address." You answered, not appreciating his interrogation.

"Miss, do you know what day it is today?" Shit.

"No. I have never been good at remembering dates." You pull the sheets off you to get off the bed but the doctor's words stop you.

"Its 8th of October."

And this is where you made a stupid mistake.

"What year?" The question came out before you could think of the repercussions.

"You... dont remember the year?" The doctor and the nurse shared a look before looking back at you.

"1860."

1860. 1860. London-

Victorian era.

Shit.

"Of course, I remember the year. I was just making sure. Anyways, I have to go-"

"You're not going anywhere, miss. You're not well. You need treatment." The doctor grabs your shoulders, pushing you back down.

"No, no. I am all good now! You saved my life, but I need to go-" You tried to push his hands off your shoulders, watching the nurse leave in a hurry.

The doctor shook his head. "No, miss. You may be fine physically, but not mentally." "What?" "You dressing up like this, playing some character, going to the sea to drown yourself because you're not happy with life, not remembering dates, and not having a husband- you have hysteria!"

You shook your head frantically. "No, I dont have hysteria-!"

"Not to worry miss! Its very common among women these days, sadly. But I have treated many of them successfully! And I'm sure that will be the case for you as well- Nurse! I need restraints and injections-"

Injection? Hysteria? Oh no, no. No. No! You've read about how they treated hysteria in the 1800s. Sent away to the seaside, lobotomy or forced orga-

"I AM NOT HYSTERICAL!" You thrashed around as more doctors and nurses came to hold you down. You spot the nurse holding up an injection and you only fought harder to escape as you realised Victorian medicine was basically poison itself.

"STOP- STOP! DONT INJECT ME WITH THAT!" You struggled with all your might to free yourself from their grasp, but their grip was tight and unyielding. "ITS FUCKING POISON! YOU IDIOTS! YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING KILL ME!"

You watched in horror as the nurse brought the needle closer to your arm, not even bothering to use an alcohol swab to sterilise the area so great- you'll die of an infection-

"Let her go!" They all looked towards the doorway, where a man stood looking furious. Wearing a brown coat with long sleeves and a wide collar exposing his waistcoat, he marched over to your bed and angrily took off his top hat.

"What is the meaning of this cruelty?! Unhand my wife now!" He yelled at the hospital staff.

Dr Lowe glared at him. "Wife? She said she wasnt married!"

The man scoffed. "We had a fight!" He glared at you this time. "Well, I'm sorry I spent a night away at the pub, darling! Forgive me and come back home?"

They all were staring at you now, and it only took a moment of eye contact with him for you to catch on.

"Fine. I forgive you. Lets go home-"

"Wait a second." The doctor narrowed his eyes at you. "You were found at the beach hours away from here. If he's your husband, then what were you doing there?"

He caught you off guard for a second, but you lied through your teeth.

"I obviously ran away!" You huffed. The man at the other end pulled the doctor by his collar. "And I'm from the newspaper, so if you dont let my wife go now, I will write an article besmirching you- not this run down hospital, no. I will be critisising you personally- whats your name?"

"Dr Lowe!" You pitched in. "Thank you, darling." The man nodded at you before continuing to threaten the doctor.

"I will crucify you, Dr Lowe."

The doctor huffed and nodded at the staff to let you go.

5 minutes later, you were walking with the man to the front desk to collect your belongings. You dont have your time machine on you or your jewellery from the Ottomans.

"Thank you..." You looked at him.

"Colin. Colin Felton."

As you waited for the nurse to return with your things, Colin introduced himself. True to his word, he did work in a newspaper, though you could only describe his work as "investigative journalism", but the term wasnt coined yet.

He was here at the hospital because he'd been trying to collect evidence on the inhumane attitude of healthcare workers towards patients and the alleged barbaric treatments towards the residents.

"So, why'd you help me? I mean, how'd you figured I wasnt hysterical?"

"I didnt." He grinned. "Hysterical or not, no one deserves to get lobotomised or whatever sadistic process they were going to subject you to." Colin looked at you. "How'd you know the injection was going to kill you? And what poison?"

"Look at the state of the hospital- there's arsenic on the walls. And most of the patients there were either strapped to their bed, or lying limp, drooling and groaning. The staff themselves looked like death, and there's no real concept of hygiene here, is there?" You shook your head. "The place is understaffed, overpacked, and completely unprepared for any epidemic or even anything mild!"

Colin chuckled. "Well, well, well. Who taught you so much about hospital management?"

Well, I am from the future where modern medicine has been able to provide vaccines for diseases you could die of.

You shrugged your shoulder. "My brother and I spent a summer at the mortuary." Which is true. You and Qasim had decided one summer to learn more about human anatomy (so that you could one day make your own humanoid-robots) and as kids who were unsupervised by working parents, you decided the best way to learn anatomy would be to go to the mortuary and just... take one home.

Look, in your 7 year old mind- it sounded like a good idea. There were a lot of unclaimed dead bodies at the local morgue and they wouldnt mind if you took one, right?

Qasim was hesitant but went along when you stated it was "for the advancement of science!"

Yeah, anyways, the moment you and Qasim had sneaked in and pulled the storage compartment holding someone, the doctor there caught you two. The only reason he didnt call your parents then was when you two begged you'd do anything and you were just trying to learn about human body and you swore that it wasnt for any "black magic", he instead made you and Qasim intern at the morgue.

Dr Johnson was more concerned that you two werent freaking out over dead bodies, and he probably kept you two around to see if you had any homicidal tendencies, but he found out you two were just curious kids. He was a great teacher, in all honesty, not only did he teach you about anatomy, but also a lot about the embalming, forensics, murder weapons and-

"What do you mean they're not there?" You asked the nurse. "Where's the rest of my stuff?!"

"I'm sorry ma'am, you didnt have anything on you besides the clothes on your back. And you're wearing them-"

"I'm going to give you one more chance- where's. My. Stuff?!" You snapped at her. The nurse stared at you unflinching. You pulled up your sleeve, ready to lunge. "You listen here-"

"What my wife means to say-" Colin placed a hand on your shoulder, reeling you back. "-would you please be kind and check again?"

"Like I told the missus- she didnt bring anything. Also- your missus was carried in here in the arms of another man-"

"What man?" You cut her attempt at tattling.

"He didnt give a name." She scoffed. "He just dropped you on one of the beds and left."

"What did he look like? What was he wearing?"

"I dont remember his face, but he wearing a black coat and hat, and I remember a golden band on his ring finger." She gave you a nasty look at the mention of the ring.

-

"What was so important that you lost?" Colin asked as you two walked. After questioning the nurse until she got fed up, Colin pulled you out of the hospital.

"Just some... jewels. A bracelet. Some cash- well the last bit of it that would get me home." You mumbled, every part of your being doing its best not to break down over losing the only way home. Because if you dont remain calm and lose your shit, you'll end up right back at the hospital to undergo nightmarish treatments.

"We could report it to the police. Although I doubt your case would take priority over the recent rise in murder cases-" You tuned him out as you tried to think where your time machine is.

I was dropped into the sea.... and the waves were harsh. Did I lose it in the sea?

Your stomach twisted at the thought of losing the time machine forever. At least with the thief theory, you had a small chance of getting it back. But you cant go scuba diving to find it in the sea!

"So, what are you going to do now?" He asks as you both sit down. You're holding your head in your hands. Colin's brows furrow in concern.

"Y/n?"

"I dont know, Colin!" You looked up at him. "I dont know! I lost all my belongings, everything that I needed to get home! I have no family, no place to stay and I'm a woman in a time where everyone is trying to either send me off to the looney bin or live horribly in a workhouse!"

"How do you know workhouses are horrible?" Colin raised a brow at you, an accusatory look in his eyes. "This isnt the first time you ran away from home, is it?"

You looked at his face, judging you. If you say yes, he'll think you're just a mad woman who is actually homeless and is trying to use him to get money. And you're already low as it is, you dont need more kicking down.

Scoffing, you glared at him. "What? You think I'm just a mad woman who is actually homeless and is trying to use you for money?" You shake your head, your mind making up excuses. "I... snuck into one of the workhouses."

"Why?"

"So... that I could expose the horrible working and living conditions." You continued before he could ask why. "A friend of mine lived in a workhouse. She complained about the hard labour, the isolation, the inhumane punishments. She died there." You looked down, both for dramatic effect and to avoid being caught in a lie. "I wanted to get justice for her. But the higher ups found out and tried to keep me quiet, which lead to me being on the run and hiding from them, wearing disguises-" You gestured to your Ottoman attire. "-but they caught me and put me on a boat to kill me. It was just pure luck that I washed up on the shore."

Allah, I know lying is a sin but lord- that was amazing how quick I came up with that. Please do not use this to make an example out of me.

Colin gave you a sympathetic look.

"I think I have a way to help you."

-

You were sitting in Colin's apartment.

"Here you go." He returned from the kitchen with a cup of tea.

"Thank you." You took a sip, letting the warm beverage heat your hands. "So, whats your plan?"

"I share this place with 4 people, and one of them has moved out. So, we have a vacant room for you." Colin pointed to a room on the left.

You sighed. "Thats very kind of you to offer Colin, but I cant live here for free-"

"Who said "free"?"

"I dont have a job. I cant pay rent-"

"You do have a job." Colin grinned, leaning back in his chair. "Work with me."

"At the newspaper?" You set your cup down. "I mean- I dont have any experience writing-"

He waved you off. "You dont have to write. I'll write. You- will just collect information for me."

You pondered about his statement. So basically, he wants you to be the "investigator" in "investigative journalism".

"Look, you're gutsy, you're smart, and you're strong willed. I need someone like that to collect data and infiltrate places to expose injustice." Colin leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I'd do it myself, but I've been around these places so many times that they know now that I'm from the paper. Plus, there are many places only a woman could sneak into instead." He clasped his hands. "Its an interesting job. You'll get to meet all kinds of people. And who knows, maybe even the man who saved your life and stole your belongings."

You nodded. "So, how much will you pay?"

-

Later that night, you met with Colin's flat mates- Liam, who was a police officer, Shepherd, who was a barkeeper and Benjamin who was a barber. Fortunately for you, they were all glad to have you as a flatmate, or well maybe they were just happy to have someone to share the expenses with.

Next morning, Colin told you about the assignment he was working on.

"My main project is about exposing the harrowing conditions of patients forced to undergo unnecessary and painful treatments and the atrocious attitude of the staff towards the patients. Especially in mental asylums." He huffed out, shaking his head as if recalling the nightmarish scenes he'd seen. "But thats a big project and is still underworks. You, will have to first interview and collect some dirt on some influential people and upperclass."

"Why?"

"To get access to Queen Victoria." "And why do I need her?" Colin smiled. "Well, the royal family has many sick people, so if she were to become aware of the grim conditions her subjects have to go through at hospitals, then maybe she will do something about it."

"And you think she would help us?"

He nods. "I believe she will. I think birthing 9 children and being surrounded by men who keep things from her, she doesnt have time for her subjects. But if we were to point her in the right direction until she's unable to ignore the problem."

Well, it is true that the English royal family had many illnesses passed down, famously haemophilia and due to inbreeding, some mental illnesses as well. You suppose Colin's plan just might work.

"Okay. So who's my first interviewee?"

"Charles Dickens."

-

What an asshole.

When Colin told you that you were going to interview or well "dig up dirt" on Charles Dickens, you already knew the literary legend was a jerk. Like most kids, you had read his books- "A Christmas Carol", "Oliver Twist", "David Copperfield", etc. Unlike most kids, you looked him up on the internet and went down the rabbit hole to find out everything about his life.

Including his unhappy marital life, where he was married to Catherine Dickens and basically cheated on his wife with an actress 27 years his junior- "Ellen Ternan", or as he liked to call- "Nelly". He had a secret affair with Nelly, who he had apparently spoken "highly" of- having “a pretty face and well-developed figure”—or “passably pretty and not much of an actress.”

But wait- it gets worse.

So after Catherine found out about his affair, she quietly lived apart from him. A painful scandal arose, and Dickens did not act at this time with tact, patience, or consideration. The affair disrupted some of his friendships and narrowed his social circle, but surprisingly it seems not to have damaged his popularity with the public.

While Catherine maintained a dignified silence, Charles took it upon himself to justify his affair by writing letters about Catherine as being an "unfit wife" because of some "peculiarities of temperament" she had, even saying that she didnt care for the kids nor they for her, which in 1800s- was all that you were good for as a woman. And if you're not good at your job and have "peculiarities of temperament" then that means you're just insane.

Yes, Charles Dickens tried to justify his cheating ass with a girl almost 3 decades younger than him, by saying "my wife's crazy!" Which is... a pretty serious allegation because you could be sent to the mental asylum for torturous treatments.

Which is how you got into his house in the first place. Your cover story is that you're a doctor at the mental asylum and have come over to check on Catherine after Charles wrote letters to the hospital expressing his "grave concern over her mental health". That was a tip Colin was able to get.

And now here you are, sitting in his parlour as he told you on and on about his works, how terrible his life was in general- not growing up, and how women in his life have been just such a bad influence.

"What do you think, doctor?" He asked, finally stopping after 20 minutes of yapping.

You cleared your throat, setting the tea cup down. "Oh I think you're absolutely right, Mr Dickens! My God, what good is a woman if she cant even satisfy her husband or take care of her kids?!" You watched his eyes lit up at your words. "I mean, all women are naturally homemakers. They're supposed to be the providers, the nurturers! If a woman fails to make her family feel warm, fails to make her house a home, then she surely has something terribly wrong with her head! Ah, she definitely needs our help!"

"So, you agree? Catherine needs to be institutionalised-"

"Well, I didnt say that." You gave him a coy smile. "I do understand your concern for your wife- you are a loving husband after all. Loving, caring, honest husband. Such a rare breed of men these days, hm?" You watched his smile falter a bit. "I think I will need to observe her a few more times before I make any decision, Mr Dickens. Now, good day!"

-

"I dont understand why I'm not being paid." You huff as you flop onto the sofa.

Colin sighs, rubbing his eyes. "Because I'm not being paid. And if I dont get paid, you dont get paid, remember?" Ah yes. Since you're not officially hired by his newspaper because you're a woman, you're basically Colin's employee.

"And why are you not being paid?"

"Because the paper didnt publish my exposé!" He handed you the paper.

You looked at the front page and threw the paper to the side. "What the hell is this? How long are they going to run the same news- FRONT PAGE, TOO! Its already been a week!"

"Its a big deal-"

"What? Some guy is returning to London is a news now?" You scoffed.

"Its not just some guy." Colin sighed tiredly, slumping in his chair. "Its a FitzGeorge."

"What the hell is a FitzGeorge?"

"You dont know FitzGeorge?" You shook your head. "Prince George, Duke of Cambridge? Queen Victoria's first cousin?"

You tried to remember anything about him. But you dont remember reading much about any cousins of Queen Victoria, when her kids were already so entertaining to read about.

"So, Prince George is returning?"

"No, he's been dead for years! How do you not know this?"

"I live under a rock. So who is returning?" You redirected him back.

Colin gave you a look. "His grandson. Silas Edmund FitzGeorge."

"Right. And why is he so important that he's been on the front page for a week now?"

"He's the most eligible bachelor now." Seeing your unamused look, Colin explained. "Prince George and Queen Victoria fell apart when the former married a ballerina, Sarah Fairbrother. They married without the Queen's consent, though with Sarah being a ballerina, I doubt her majesty wouldve approved of the union either way. Anyways, since they married without her consent, the marriage was essentially null and any heirs produced were illegitimate and not recognised by the crown, thus would not be granted any Dukedoms. Prince George had 3 sons- George, Adolphus and Augustus FitzGeorge. The youngest- Augustus, had two children: Daisy and Silas. Unfortunately, the kids were quite young when they lost their mother. Augustus was away on service on the sea, when his wife was brutally murdered in the family home and rumour has it- Silas had witnessed it first hand. It was just pure luck that he was not spotted by the murderer that the young child was hiding in his closet. While the kids were in mourning, Augustus had apparently went mad with sorrow when he received the news and drowned himself. Pitying the orphans, Queen Victoria had promised to make Silas a Duke and Daisy a Duchess when they came of age. But Daisy was sent to the mad house out of the blue and a few months later, she died there. Poor Silas was now taken in by his grandmother, Sarah, the very woman Queen Victoria hates. Long story short, Sarah worked very hard to raise Silas and eventually he ended up being the first in the royal family to attend Oxford university-" he leaned forward, smiling. "-without any help from the crown."

Oh, so Silas is self made. And not a nepo baby.

"Silas not only is highly educated, but he's also a very successful businessman. He has invested in many businesses and he's been a huge part in reforming industries."

"So... he's rich and self made? Got it." You looked at Colin. "Still doesnt explain why he's making news? Hell, he even took importance over those horrible murders!"

Colin grinned. "Well, he's not the most eligible bachelor just for the commoners. Apparently, the queen is considering him as a match for one of her daughters." He watched realisation finally dawn on you.

"I still should be paid." You grumbled before glaring at him. "Maybe you need to write a better article, good enough for it to take over the front page."

"If you're done criticising my writing skills, I was going to tell you a remedy for this problem." Colin had an evil glint in his eyes. "And we'll have to use our friend Mr Dickens for it."

-

Colin is a genius.

You're currently sitting in Sarah Fairbrother's house- or well a small mansion. Its a huge estate, lush green grounds surrounding it as far as the eye can see. You were sweating by the time you reached inside, the gardens were huge.

How did you end up here? Colin suggested to use dirt on Charles Dickens and blackmail him into getting you an interview with Sarah, since he is popular and part of the high society. And you only had to say "Nelly" for Dickens to fold. He asked Sarah that a young woman would like to interview her for her years as a ballerina.

You knew Sarah was Silas's grandma, but you still were not expecting to see a slim, 86 year old woman who looked absolutely beautiful. Honestly, she did not look a day beyond 60.

"So, how did you know you wanted to become a ballerina?" You asked her, starting off the interview.

The plan was for you to get close with Sarah and find some secrets, so that when Colin writes about them, the editor will take him seriously and then start posting his Dickens article.

The conversation went from her life as a ballerina, to her life as Mrs FitzGeorge. Sarah practically told you everything, you could see she was lonely and she hadnt had anyone to talk to properly. She was kind, sweet lady, and a prima donna ballerina, and you didnt understand why the queen wouldnt like her. But the thing is, her being a ballerina was a stigma in itself, because back in the 1800s, ballet theatres were used as parlours for men to drink and sleep around with women. Thus, by association, ballerinas were bad too.

But despite the queen's shunning, Sarah did not speak ill of her. No, she was a lovely, demure lady who was still very much passionate about ballet.

"And for all the young girls who aspire to be a ballerina one day, much like myself, what advice do you have for them?" You asked,

"Dance with your heart, and your feet will follow!" She smiled so gracefully, that you couldnt help but return it.

"Thank you for such an amazing interview. I am sure girls from all around London will look upto you one day." You said, closing your journal.

"You flatter me, darling." She giggled before looking down at your legs. "You know, I saw your skirt ride up a bit earlier and I think you have the perfect calves for ballet! Have you ever considered?"

You chuckled, shaking your head. "I wish! But I think I'm a little too old to learn ballet now."

"My dear, you're never too old to enjoy life!" Sarah smiled.

"Perhaps, one day." You stand up. "I would love to know more about it. Maybe we can do this again, if you have time?"

It wasn't right to use her loneliness, but... you had to make a living. Besides, there are far worse things you can do than talking to an old lady to solict information.

-

You were not expecting Sarah to invite you back two days later, that too for dinner.

"Its not just a dinner, Y/n." Colin said, pacing back and forth. "I think Silas is going to be there. Of course, it'll be a party in his honour! Ah, the return of the beloved grandson and the most eligible bachelor in town!" He continued to mutter incoherently, his mind working overdrive as he began planning ahead.

"How often does he go mad like this?" You whisper to Benjamin, who was currently styling your hair for the dinner.

He smiled, his moustache curling up. "Quite often." He had your hair in a nice updo, and on your insistence, he also allowed some hair to frame your face.

"You cant go empty handed." Colin said, stopping his pacing. "Its high society, you cant go empty handed! You need to get a gift, something appropriate and if possible, memorable enough for them to call you back again and again."

You glared at him through the mirror you were standing in front of as Benjamin helped tighten your corset.

"I dont think anyone will be forgetting me after the objectionable alterations you made to this gown." You pointed to the outfit you were wearing- a baby blue silk gown with delicate lacework around the scandalous neckline and puffy sleeves, courtesy of Colin.

Colin rolled his eyes. "So what if you showed some skin? I'm only trying to ensure that you leave a lasting impression on them." He put on his hat. "Now come along, we have to get a present too."

You and Colin walked down the streets of London, the area bustling as people returned from their jobs and either rushed home or to the pubs.

"Where are we going to get a present now, Colin? One that is both good enough and you can afford to buy too." You commented as you pulled your coat tighter around your body, the cold biting at your bones.

He offered you his arm and pulled you close to his side to warm you up. "I was going to get a wine bottle but the shop closed early today and Shepherd said he hadn't been able to secure any good bottles at the pub, so we'll- we'll just have to go for the next best thing." You two stopped in front of a shop on Regent street.

Regent's Antiques!

"Really? And you can afford antiques?" You raised a brow at him. He shrugged before pushing you inside the shop. "I dont know, but I am good at bargaining."

The shop is huge and immediately stepping inside, you could tell that there was nothing here Colin could afford to buy. The shelves that held the items alone looked like they were made of rich wood, the smell of mahogany, musk and polish filling up your nostrils.

"Lets get out of here before we embarrass ourselves-" you whisper to Colin but he brushes you off and walks further into the store. Sighing, you start browsing the store, an amalgam of things were present there- relics, ceramics, gold and silver and other metalware.

"And how much is this for, sir?" You turned to see Colin ask the salesman for the price of the vase he was holding. You didnt have to hear how expensive it was when you saw Colin's eyes widen as he nervously chuckled before putting the vase back. You heard him do this again over the next 30 minutes, picking up stuff and placing them back.

In the corner of your eye, you spotted a small box. You picked it up and opened it, smiling as it played a melody while the ballerina figurine twirled in the center.

The perfect gift.

You went upto the counter and asked how much it was for.

"100 pounds."

100 pounds... 100 pounds in 1860, with inflation would be todays-

Your eyes widened as you looked down at the box. The salesman mistook your shock for interest and began explaining how its made of pure gold and that this box belonged to a king who gifted it to his queen for their everlasting love.

"Mmhm. Interesting-" You cleared your throat, placing the box back on the shelf. "- but its not what I'm looking for."

"Y/n? What are you doing? I already bought the gift!" Colin came by your side.

"What did you buy?" You asked him before pulling him to the side to whisper. "What could you have possibly afforded in this place?"

"I almost didnt find anything but then the owner of this place saw me and showed me something a little more in my range and I'm getting it wrapped up now!" He told you gleefully.

"The owner? Who?"

"Mr Blackwood! He came here to get a present for someone too and then showed me some old items that were either too ugly or too damaged or just been here for so long, they had to store it in the back! And I found a gem, not too shabby and in a good condition too!" Colin grinned proudly. "Come on, I'll show you the back!"

He ushered you to the storage and true to his word, the room was indeed filled with boring and damaged items. "Take a look around, I need to haul a carriage to load the present and you cant be late!" He left you there.

You browse through the stuff there before going towards the wooden cabinet in the corner. Its locked. You look through the glass panels at the precious antiques inside- mostly bejewelled items like daggers, boxes, broaches and-

Your breath hitched.

Time machine.

My time machine. Its here!

You press your hands against the glass before pulling on the handles to open it, only for the lock to not budge.

Its just glass. You raise your fist. I can just-

"I wouldnt do that if I were you." A voice called out from behind you. You turned to see a man in the doorway, broad shouldered and even from a distance, you could see he had two shades in his eyes.

Green and brown.

Well suited in a coat and shiny dress shoes, he looked like he was going somewhere. He stepped towards you, an mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Those are my belongings." He said.

Oh. So, he's the owner.

"Not all of it. Thats mine." You point to your machine inside. "It was stolen from me a few days ago."

He shrugged. "How can I believe you? I dont know you." He takes another step towards you. "Besides, everything here once belonged to someone. Now? Its mine."

You frowned. "That belongs to me. I even have an official police report." You dont but you decided to bluff.

He chuckled. "Sure you did. But it still doesnt change the fact that its in my possession now." Before you could reply, Colin returned.

"Ah Y/n! I see you've met Mr Blackwood. He's the-" "Owner. I know. And he stole my stuff." You grumbled to Colin.

Mr Blackwood narrowed his eyes at you. "I did not steal it, young lady. Someone came to us and sold it."

You glare at him. "No-" "Yes, of course, Mr Blackwood." Colin cut you off. "And we appreciate that you've kept it safe, but we would like to buy it back from you."

Mr Blackwood looked at him and then at you, before smiling.

"I wasnt planning on selling but since you already bought one of my antiques..." he nodded. "1000 pounds and its yours."

Your jaw went slack and you almost started to swing when Colin grabbed your elbow.

"Mr Blackwood, if you could just give us a better deal-"

"1000 pounds, Mr Felton. And not a penny less." He said before leaving.

-

"Why are you mad at me?" Colin asked as he sat next to you in the carriage.

"I'm mad at him, Colin! There was no way that was worth 1000 pounds! No one would pay such a ridiculous amount! For anything!" You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Of course it wasnt worth a 1000 pounds. He raised the price because you pissed him off." You glared at him. "Look, just focus on tonight and when we get our paycheques, I'll go talk to Mr Blackwood again and bargain a good deal. Because even if he did gave us a good deal right now, I couldnt afford it, not after spending money on your outift and that gift,"

You scowl but nod stiffly. "Fine."

The carriage reached the FitzGeorge estate, stopping at the entrance where a small army of servants waited to greet you and other guests.

"Good luck. See you in a few hours." Colin wished you before calling two servants to carry the gift.

"What the hell did you buy?" You ask as you watch the servants carry a rectangular box wrapped in brown paper and a big red bow inside. "Come on, tell me. What if they ask me what it is?"

Colin grinned as he tipped his hat at you. "I guess you'll have to figure out something on the spot. Bye!" The carriage left before you could pester him.

Huffing, you lifted your gown a bit as you walked up the steps and entered inside the beautiful mansion.

The lobby is filled with guests and servants who are taking their coats and leading them inside. There's a stairway on the right leading to private quarters upstairs, a drawing room beside the stairs where you had interviewed Sarah the last time you were here. On the other side, you see a table stacked with presents, your own gigantic box settled behind them.

This was not just a small dinner, was it?

You're lead inside what seems to be a ballroom, the lights seeming to bounce of the polished wooden floors. Waiters are serving guests alcohol and appetisers, and you hold the champagne filled glass too.

Hey, just because I'm not drinking doesnt mean I cant hold it. I need to blend in.

You hold the glass in your hands as you look at the attendees, trying to spot any famous personalities. You notice Charles Dickens again, of course he's here too. Your eyes drink in the pretty dresses of the women and almost roll at the sight of obnoxious men who dont make an effort to conceal their ogling.

Soon, the butlers gets everyones attention as he annoucnes the arrival of the hostess.

"Lady Sarah Louisa FitzGeorge, accompanied by her grandson, Lord Silas Edmund FitzGeorge!"

Sarah was wearing a black regency gown, puffy panelled sleeves and a golden brooch with an onyx stone in the center of her neckline, her neck adorned with pearls and matching tear drop earrings. She walked arm-in-arm with a dashing young man, and you could definitely see why he was the "most eligible bachelor".

Dark chocolate brown hair, the thick locks styled properly and you were sure that under the sunlight, they'd have different shades of brown and golden in them. Fair skinned, yet not deathly pale as most of London is, he had thick brows framing dark grey eyes adorned with enviable thick lashes, that dont seem to be focusing on anyone, just looking ahead, unamused. A sharp Roman nose, followed by perfectly sized pink lips, with a deep and defined cupid's bow and a strong jawline.

They both walked down the stairs and entered the ballroom together, Sarah practically beaming with pride as she walked in with her grandson who towered over her. Everyone talked in hushed whispers, admiring Silas's beauty and how he looked like royalty. Sarah continued to smile at the guests as they made their way towards the center.

As the guest finally quieted down, Sarah began speaking.

"Thank you all for joining me tonight to celebrate my dear Silas's return from Oxford!" People clapped at the huge academic achievement but Silas still looked like he'd much rather be anywhere else than here. Sarah continued. "I had dearly missed him so much. He's been my rock, my star, my everything after his grandfather left me. But tonight is not about sorrows, no. Tonight we celebrate Silas! I hope you enjoy this, darling." She looked up at him and Silas smiled gently at her, a dimple appearing on his left side, leaning down to let her kiss his cheek.

Sarah clapped her hands, nodding at the butler.

Moments later, ballerinas entered the ballroom and began putting on a show. Ah, so this is why you were invited back. Sarah probably thought that you'd enjoy this due to your keen interest in the performing arts.

I mean... its not bad. Actually, its quite entertaining. But you're not here to enjoy ballet. You're here to get dirt on the upper class of London.

You move through the audience, picking up on interesting bits of convo here and there, mostly about extra marital affairs and tax frauds. When you see Silas again, he's not by Sarah's side anymore. No, instead he's now surrounded by some men, much older than him. They seem to be close to him, though Silas doesnt seem to share any familiarity with them as they speak in hushed tones, a hand on his shoulder to emphasise their point. Finally, Silas gives them a nod before moving away from them, and he's once again crowded by 3 boys, much closer to his age this time and Silas actually gives them a smile as they head out of the ballroom.

Friends, maybe relatives? You dont recall Colin telling you he had any brothers, only a sister who passed away in an asylum.

Your eyes trail back to the men who were talking to Silas earlier, only to see a familiar face there.

Mr Blackwood.

Despite being much younger than the men, he seemed to hold authority over them. You could see from the way they shook his hand, eagerly, desperately and talking over each other, but Mr Blackwood just stood there with a charming smile, listening to their concerns before holding a hand up to silence them. He said a few words that seemed to quell their worries before he moved past them and for a brief second, his eyes met yours and he smirked, tipping his head at you before leaving the ballroom.

You thought he'd come to you, maybe interrogate why someone like you was here in the first place, but perhaps you blended in better than you thought.

"Y/n! Darling, you came!" Sarah greeted you happily as she embraced you in a hug. "How do you like the show?"

"Oh, its just so... exquisite. Bewitching, really!" You smile before complimenting her outfit. "And your gown, your jewellery, everything looks so beautiful! If I didnt know any better, I'd say you were Silas's elder sister!"

She laughed softly, her eyes sparkling. "Oh, its you kids who keep me so young! Come on, I want to introduce you to Silas! I'm sure he'd be delighted to meet you." She lead you towards the lobby after a servant told her about his whereabouts, and there you saw him and his friends from earlier.

Silas leaned against the wall, watching humourlessly as the boys went through his gifts, opening them up crassly and mocking the gifts, all while he sipped his champagne.

"Silas- boys! What are you doing?!" At Sarah's admonishing tone, all of them straightened up.

One of the 3 boys, a blonde pouted as he stood up from the floor, dropping the gift box in his hands and you heard glass break.

"Nana! We were just helping Silas open his presents!"

Another boy, also blonde but he was taller than the first one, sheepishly hid his hands behind his back, though the crinkling of wrapping paper gave him away.

"Yes Nana, we were just helping him! He gave us permission to do so."

"Permission to act like animals?" Sarah fumed, making them lower their heads. It was kinds of adorable seeing them standing there looking defeated while a woman much smaller in stature than them scolded them.

Finally, the third boy who was the brunet and the oldest of the three stepped closer to Sarah. "Sorry Nana, we'll be more careful next time. Right boys?" The blondes nodded. The brunet then settled his eyes on you. "And who's the lovely lady next to you, Nana?" He changed the topic and Sarah's anger seemed to evaporate as she looked at you.

"Ah, yes! This is Lady Y/n Paddington!" Yes, Paddington as in Paddington the bear. What? This was the only name that came to mind at the moment that couldnt be traced. "She's the one who interviewed me about my career as a ballerina a few days ago. And look! Today we had a show for her to see!"

The three boys greeted you nicely, making some comments about how pretty you are before getting glared at by Sarah. Silas remained leaning against the wall, looking out the window at the dark night.

"Silas! Darling, come say hi!" Sarah called him before turning her attention to the boys, scolding them for being so undignified for opening Silas's presents.

Silas walked over to you, and you took a deep breath to introduce yourself-

"Are you done?"

You blinked at him in confusion. What?

"What?"

Silas looked past you at his grandma before looking down at you.

"I said, are you done? Have you gotten what you came here for?" He asked monotonously.

Wow. So does everyone have a stick up their ass in high society?

You narrowed your eyes at him. "And what exactly would that be?"

His expression didnt change. "Jewels, cutlery, secrets, contacts, a rich man?"

"What makes you think I already dont have all of those things?"

He scoffed, giving you a look. "You stick out like a sore thumb. You're not part of the wealthy." Silas looked at the champagne glass in your hand before smirking.

"What now?" You seethed.

"Anyone with a taste for finer things in life knows not to hold the glass from the top. You hold it from the stem, so that you dont warm the drink from the heat of your palm." He leans down to whisper in your ear. "Stop pretending to be someone you're not."

You know you shouldnt have, you know that you're better than him academically by literally centuries, you know this is how all rich douchebags act, but you just couldnt let a self entitled brat insult you to your face and you've had enough of those in the past few eras.

You smiled. "I guess you would know who's pretending." Silas smirk faltered.

"Remind me if the FitzGeorges are still considered royalty or not?"

You watched his eyes set ablaze, his jaw tick but before he could respond, the sound of paper being ripped cut him off.

"Charles!" Sarah yelled at the young blonde who had just ripped the wrapping paper off your present.

"Nana! This one's from Lady Y/n! Look-!" He removed the lid from the box before Sarah could stop him and your heart dropped at the sight of the contents.

Its a painting.

Its a portrait. The portrait.

The one Baldwin had made. The one that Mehmed had gotten on his conquest. The one you forgot to destroy in the Ottoman empire.

And now its here. In 1860 London. How the hell did it survive over 700 years?

Sure its not as brand new as the last time you saw it, the paint is faded and varnish is gone, but the face- your smudged face is still there!

"This is ugly, right?" Charles remarked, only to be smacked on the head by Sarah.

"It is not! Its exquisite! Its one of a kind! Just like how Silas likes his things- unique!" Sarah looked at you smiling. "I'm sure there's a story behind this, right darling?"

Your throat went dry as you nodded slowly. "Y-yes." You cleared your throat, eyes fixated on the portrait. "The owner told me that this belonged to the Turkish empire once, and um... one of the princes of the time had gotten it as a part of his loot from the conquest."

"But who's the broad-" Charles cut off his words as Sarah glared at him. "I mean- who's pretty lady in the painting?"

"She's... unknown. I only know that this was commissioned by her lover. Also, he was insane apparently." Sorry Baldwin, but you were insane.

Sarah clasped her hands over her heart, touched. "Ah! Painting by a man madly in love of his beloved! How romantic! I will have this hung up in our hallway with the rest of the paintings!"

You shake your head. "Oh, I dont think it'll go with your style-"

"Of course it will! Its a symbol of love, of devotion. Just like me and my Georgie. Just like how I wish for Silas to experience it one day." Sarah smiled at Silas.

"Yes, the day when Silas will be bitten by a rabid dog." Charles snickered only to have his ear twisted by Sarah as she began dragging him away, saying that she will tell his father of his behaviour tonight.

Without much to say, you left shortly after, bidding Silas's cousins goodbye and not bothering with Silas who was glaring daggers at you.

-

"You said what to Silas?" Liam asked as he returned from his patrolling. "I cant believe it. He is a part of royalty, maybe not directly but still!"

"He started it first." You pouted as Benjamin chuckled behind you, undoing your updo.

"Yes, but he was right to call you out. I mean, who holds the flute from the top?" Shepherd asked, sitting down as he handed Liam a drink.

You narrowed your eyes. "Well, I'm sorry that I'm not an obnoxious, rich, raging alcoholic!"

All of them chuckled as Colin sat down with a lazy smile, nursing his drink.

"You did good work tonight, Y/n." He raised the glass to you before downing his drink. You perked up. "So this means I'm getting paid with a bonus?"

He chuckled and gave you a nod. "Of course, but first- we'll need to write articles."

"We?" He nodded. "Yes. We. You will work on the FitzGeorge article for me, and write mostly good things about them so it gets published. I, will be working on the Dickens exposé along with the other secrets you've been able to get tonight. This way, when your FitzGeorge article gets published, you will get even closer to the family and the publisher will finally let me post the dirty secrets of high society! Its a win-win, really."

You leaned forward. "You make it sound so simple but while I may have been allowed to personally interview these people- that too, under the guise of not being associated with the paper, I dont think I will be allowed to work at your newspaper without being called out as your source and then none of these rich snobs will ever let me be close." You leaned back, letting Benjamin massage the knots out of your head. "The reason why Sarah even let me interview her was because I told her I wanted to promote the arts, starting with ballet. She thinks I write for the girls fraternity houses, like some sort of school project. Not a major publishing house!"

Colin rubbed his chin before snapping his finger. "I got it!" He grinned as he leaned forward. "You can write two stories! One- about your interview with Sarah! And it'll be under your name and we'll spread it around actual girl hostels, to make it seem legitamate when someone from the FitzGeorge house gets it. Doesnt matter if it'll do well or not, because you'll only sing her praises and this will make you well liked by Sarah and make her invite you to more events. And the other story, will be about the FitzGeorge estranged family relations with the Queen! Now that will get us more readers and the editor will be happy to publish it too! As for how you will actually write it- well, how would you like to be a boy?"

Everyone stared at Colin, as if he'd grown two heads.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I said, how would you like to be a boy?"

-

"If I wasnt sent to an asylum before, I'd definitely be sent to one now." You stated as Colin adjusted your bowtie.

"Only if you get caught!" He gave you a cheeky grin before shaking his head. "Which wont happen! I wont let you get caught."

"Now, turn." Benjamin said making you face him. He smiled as he placed a fake moustache on you. "Colin, you really are testing my skills these days. I mean, making Y/n a man? With a moustache? And styling her hair, even though it would've made everything so much easier if someone would just let me cut their hair-" you glared at him. "Okay, okay. No chopping off your hair. Jesus, what's with the death glare?"

"You're worried about the death glare? I'm worried why Liam was so pissed about being the only one whose clothes fit Y/n. I guess he always thought that being a copper meant he way more buff than he actually is." Colin commented. "Despite his lean built, he's surprisingly strong. Did you see the way he flipped over that thief?"

Benjamin nodded, combing your moustache.

"You're a very gorgeous male! Very demure." Colin grins before giving you some brief instructions on how to keep your cover and act manly.

"Right- so what name did you pick for your story?"

The corner of your mouth quirked up slightly.

"Holmes. Sherlock Holmes." What? Arthur Conan Doyle is probably just an year old right now. Its not gonna affect anyone if you chose one of your favourite characters names.

Plus, you're going to be an investigative journalist. So, it fits well, okay?

"Lets go, Mr Holmes."

-

With Colin's reference, you're able to get a job at the paper. And with your people watching hobby, you're able to successfully pass of as a man, a pretty man- but a man, nonetheless.

You've been hit on by a few women on the streets.

After working here for a few weeks, you finally get paid when the editor publishes your work on the FitzGeorge. You wrote mostly about Sarah and the FitzGeorge family relations with Queen Victoria, and just a few tantalising words about Silas that would have the readers waiting impatiently for the next update on the bachelor, thereby garnering more attention and you- more money, which you need to buy your time machine back.

You're sitting at your desk, typing down your next article when there's a commotion in the office.

"The boss is here! The boss is here!" Everyone rushed to do their respective tasks, or at least- look busy, do nothing. Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted the owner of the paper walking down the hallway, talking to-

Silas.

Silas was walking beside him, looking uninterested as he listened to his friend explaining how he operated his news agency. He gave a lookover to the cubicles before moving on. For a second, you thought he's seen you. But you were hiding behind other men, there was no way he'd spotted you.

Oh no. Is he here because he'd figured out you were the one who wrote the article in the paper? No, no- he couldnt have-

Fortunately for you, he hadnt. Silas was there because his friend, the owner, had invited him to show his newspaper agency.

With the weight off your shoulders and your pay in your pocket, you were back at the antique shop.

"You got the 1000 pounds?" You cursed mentally when you heard his agitating voice.

"Mr Blackwood, I have 3 pounds-" He cut you off with booming laughter. "Ah, poor people crack me up."

Resisting the urge to strangle him, you cleared your throat. "If you could just give me a real figure, an acceptable deal, I would like to buy my own property back."

He rested his head on his palm, leaning on the cash counter. "Now what's so special about it, hm? Because I cant seem to figure out what it even is?"

"Its nothing...." You remark before sighing. "Its a toy. It holds sentimental value."

He tilted his head. "Does it now?"

You nod.

He smiled, though something else swirled in those mischevous eyes. "Alright, I'll give you a deal." You prepare yourself. "I'll give your toy back if.... you go out on a date with me."

You narrowed your eyes. "I am not sleeping with you, Mr Blackwood-"

"And why would I do that to myself?" He raised a brow. "All I'm asking for is one date, a lovely dinner that I'll be paying for and then we can return to the shop and you can have your toy back."

You pondered over his offer, trying to figure out any traps.

"Why do you want to date me? I'm poor, like you said."

He shrugged. "Maybe I find you intriguing." He leaned forward on the counter again, wiggling his brows. "Come on, its just one date. No funny business, I promise."

You stared at him for a few more minutes before nodding. "Fine. But I get to pick the place and I will have you know that I have friends all over that will be looking for me if something were to happen."

He smirks at your attempt to threaten him. "I think we both know that I could get away with it all, love. All while making your friends disappear if I wanted to."

The way he stated it like it was true- it sent a chill down your spine.

Mr Blackwood waved to you. "See you tomorrow at 6, darling! Dont be late."

-

The next night, Colin had dropped you off at the antique store, telling Mr Blackwood- or Henry, as he insisted you called him, to bring you back before 10 pm.

You sat across from him in a fancy restraunt.

"I'll have a beef wellington and for the lady-" Henry looked at you.

"Just chips." You closed the menu, handing it back to the waiter. Henry chuckled, shaking his head.

"So... whats your deal?" You ask him, resting your elbows on the table.

He leaned in as well, dual coloured eyes sparkling with mischief and amusement. "I'm resourceful. You?"

"Cut the crap. Why am I here?" You glare at him, and he chuckled, resting his head on his palm. "I like you."

"As anyone with eyes should, but also why would you do that to yourself?" You huffed as you move away, resting against the chair as you crossed your arms over your chest.

He copied your actions, resting his arms against his chest. "Maybe I want to fall in love with you."

"I'd rather poke my eyes out." You snarked. Henry looked at the cutlery on the table. "There's the fork."

Your nostrils flared. "You think you're so clever?"

"Oh I know I'm clever, love. But it is truly remarkable it took you so long to figure it out." He grinned cheekily. "Alright alright. Ask your question."

"How do you know the FitzGeorges?"

He looked rather bored at your question. "I know everyone." Seeing your dissatisfaction, he offered you another answer. "I'm rich. They're rich. We socialised."

Thats how rest of the dinner was spent- you interrogating him, him dodging you with vague answers. Though you had a feeling he knew more than he was letting on, almost like he could read you like an open book.

Finally, the night came to an end as you saw his store come up in view.

At the end of the street, just a few shops down from his, you stopped and looked at him. "Well, this was a... date." He chuckled as you continued unphased. "I held up my end of the deal, now its your turn."

Henry nodded, grabbing your hand in his warm one, thumbing your knuckles. "Of course. I'm a man of my word." He brought your hand upto his lips, pressing a soft kiss.

"I hope you get home safely, darling."

You made a disgusted face, yanking your hand from his grasps as you wiped his kiss off with your coat. "I hope I never see you again."

He chuckled, throwing his head back. "Oh I think I'll be seeing you again rather soon, love. I enjoyed our date too much." Seeing you pissed made him laugh again, and he nodded his head at the store.

"Come along. Lets get you your toy-" He was cut off by the sound of a loud blast, the shockwaves so powerful that it made the glass of all windows in a mile shatter, the ground shook. In a second, Henry lunged at you, covering your body with his as another blast went off. Moments later, he got off you and you finally saw his shop set ablaze and completely destroyed.

Your ears rung as you stared at the fire in the shop, not noticing the people rushing out of their homes, not hearing the screams of shock, not hearing Henry calling your name.

"Y/n?! Y/N?!" He shook you by the shoulders hard, finally making you look at him. He was saying something, but you couldnt understand what. You looked at him confused, before your eyes shifted back to the fire.

You dont know when Colin came, you dont remember when Henry pushed you into his arms, yelling at Colin to get you out of there. You dont know when you got home, you dont know what the boys were asking as they picked out bits of glass from your skin.

All you know is when you woke up the next morning and stared at your bandaged skin, events of last night flashed through your head again and the realisation became the painful truth-

The time machine is destroyed.

-

You're staring at the tea cup, the beverage swirling as the maid added sugar in it.

Round. Round. Whirlpool. And then... everything settles.

The motion of the tea perfectly depicted how your life has been for some time. Thrown around in a hurricane of calamities, from one era to another, your life coming close to an end just like the tea threatened to spill over the edge, before everything settles down. Like your plans of ever returning home- stopped.

You'd returned to the sight of the incident, a part of you holding on to the hope that maybe- just maybe, your time machine survived.

It hadnt. Nothing in that store had. Henry Blackwood ran around the store, his face hardened and his collected faccacde was long gone, replaced with frowns and wrinkles. His store was surrounded by coppers and what you could only assume were either detectives or insurance guys.

After the devastating realisation, you had sort of went into a depressive spiral. Lying in your bed for days, your pillow stained with tears, Colin promising to replace whatever it is that you lost as Benjamin petted your hair, inconsolable.

A few weeks later, you returned to work. Though nothing interested you anymore, you felt like you were living on borrowed time, that any moment now, you'll face the consequences of screwing around with history and either die or possibly destroy the universe.

"Y/n?" You blinked, coming back to reality.

Sarah was sitting across from you, her face concerned as she set her tea cup down. "Darling, are you okay?"

You tried to smile, but your facial muscles didnt cooperate.

"Yes. Just... a bit tired." You diverted your eyes as you brought the cup up to your lips.

Sarah's brows furrowed even more, but she could see you were hesitant to talk about the subject.

"I called you here today to congratulate you on your article!" You looked up at her, staring at her a bit dazed. "The interview was very well received with not only just people in my circle, but female students all over in London as well!"

Sarah continued to sing your praises, while you kept your head down, offering little hums here and there.

"Even my family, who I hadnt talked to in a while, told me that they adored the way you wrote-" Your heart cracked.

Family. Mom. Dad. Qasim. I'll never see them again. They wont find out what happened to me, probably hoping that I'm missing but... alive at least. Forever holding onto that painful hope, that I may return home one day.

But I wont. I cant.

You stood outside the FitzGeorge house, under the pillars as you watched the rain fall.

"I think you should stay until-" Sarah offered, eyes looking at the sky that was pouring like cats and dogs.

"I need to go home. Thank you." You tried to smile again, but your eyes betrayed you, shinning with tears. But you left before she could say another word.

Your bones could feel the cold rain biting, your dress drenched, your socks uncomfortably wet, the tip of your nose chilled, your hair sticking to your skin, but none of it mattered. Not when you needed the same rain to hide your tears.

Your neck muscles strained as they tried to contain your sobs, your grief.

I messed up. I screwed up everything. This is all my fault.

You walked faster out of the estate, the water splashing as you stormed away, trying to find some corner where you can hide away and cry your heart out.

I'm alone. I'm all alone. I have no one. No home, no family.

You struggled to breathe, feeling like your chest was caving in.

What have I done?

In your haste, you didnt see the carriage coming straight towards you, until someone yanked you out of the way by your arm.

"Are you blind?! Or deaf-" Silas stopped his scolding as he stared at your red eyes, your wobbling lips. He loosened the painful grip on your arm, his eyes still staring into your crying ones.

Silently, he pulled you back towards the estate, though he didnt take you inside. He had a feeling you didnt want his grandmother pestering you with questions right now.

An arm around your shoulders, Silas lead towards the botanical garden house.

He helped you sit on one of the benches as the dark clouds seemed to veil the garden house, giving you two privacy. He sat down next to you.

"What happened?"

Silas watched your face screwed up in pain as you bring a hand to your temples, your lips quivering as you sniffled.

"I lost... everything."

After a few moments of silence, before sighing.

"You've only lost when you give up. Have you given up?"

You turned your head to the side, looking at his serious face.

"Yes."

He took another deep breath.

"Can you do anything about it?"

"No."

He glanced at you before looking back at the clouds.

"Do you want to die?"

You stopped for a moment. Do I? Do I want to die?

"Maybe."

"Thats not an answer." He raised a brow at you. "How about this- until you find a definitive answer to that question, you keep on living?"

Seeing your dead stare, he continued. "Look, if the worse has already happened to you, you have nothing left to fear anymore. In fact-" Silas went on to say similar motivating stuff for the next 20 miuntes, and you were simultaneously listening and not listening. Well, you heard what he was saying, you just didnt bother processing it because your mind was preoccupied by your own monologue.

He's right. The worse has already happened. I have lost the machine. I have lost my only way home. I have screwed up history. And yet, I'm alive.

Yes. This is what the universe wants- to see me down on my butt, laughing at my misery.

Well, guess what? Fuck this, fuck the universe! I'm been so careful only to barely survive. Now? I'm gonna live and I dont care what chaos it'll cause!

"Y/n?" You looked at Silas, who looked at you expectantly. "I asked you a question."

"What?"

His shoulders slumped.

"I said- will you marry me? And before you say no-"

"Okay."

Watch this, universe. Its my turn now.

So???? Thoughts???? Comments and asks???

Part 12 is here!

[muffinsin]

hi hello hola bonjour aloha 😵😵😵😵

OKOKOK SOOOOOOO ........ i know this request is weird BUUUUTTTT could u maybe possibly do the dimitrescus being with someone (as in, having an s/o) thats a humanoid arachnid??? If im spelling that correctly? rahhh idk

like, imagine those spider-people with like, agile spider legs on their back, sharp fangs, multiple, red/purple/gray eyes, dark fluffy hair, red/purple/other markings, etc etc. I think it would be funny since theyre literally flies dating a spider .. which eats flies

u can use doctor octavius as reference for the spider leg placement if u didnt understand, or like, angel dust??? Its up to ur interpertation, really, but id prefer if they did have normal human legs .. and features .. since a giant spider with a human head feels unnatural .. giggle, giggle

AS ALWAYS!!! take care!!!!!! Make sure to take breaks inbetween requests!!!!!

WITH MUCH LOVE AND LESBIANISM 😈😈😈😈 (the gayness directed at the dimitrescus .. not u, becauze .. i dunno u .. and thats weird)

-- 🐾🧃, AKA JUNGLE JUICE 👽👽👽

Piece out! (Not peace, i require violence)

Hell yeah!!🙌 Funnily enough, I think there was once talk of an arachnoid reader on this blog, but the idea got lost somewhere. I’m happy to dive back into it now!👀 Let’s get into it!

Masterlists

Bela

What started out as a sudden introduction in the forest, soon became more

Back then already, Bela was- unsurprisingly- intrigued by you

After all, your appearance alone is enough to make most double check whether they saw right

And she was certainly no better

Though, at the very least you did the same then, not quite believing you ran into one of the infamous Dimitrescu daughters

During your first interaction, time almost stood still as the two of you inspected one another-

you, standing in place when you ran just moments ago,

Bela, stilled with her sickle held in her hand, as though frozen like a deer in the headlights upon running across you

- it was a cute moment, even, in itself. Both of you, stunned by each other

Where you saw a pair of strong, piercing golden eyes, she saw multiple pairs of eyes

You watched then as she studied them almost, her own flickering across your face

The two eyes at the center of your face, human-looking in every aspect but their colour

A dark grey, she originally thought

In time, she would find and adore the specks of red and purple in them, only found upon closer inspection. But more of that later

Then, more eyes, stretching across the side of your forehead almost

5 of them, some more slit than others, some smaller, some larger

She shivered at the sight, but even you saw the curiosity shimmer within her back then already

It was clear to both of you that neither was mortal. Not entirely so, at least

Where you saw her regal, almost gothic and Victorian dress and the sickle, she spotted torn clothing

A villager, or at the very least that’s what you used to be

Only was your clothing torn and almost webbed shut again, the strings keeping your cloths together so fine they couldn’t possibly be any fabric or wool

While her fingers held the sickle tight, your long ones moved slightly, as if restless

More things were apparent immediately, such as,

Your long, strong legs allowing you to stand tall, nearly the same as Bela

Something unusual, certainly

And then, of course, the other pair

The strong, somewhat thin pair of arms or legs- Bela could never quite tell- sprouting from your back

The fuzzy, dark hair falling down your shoulders and back, a little too untrimmed, a little too wild for even the villagers’ standards

And the strange marks stretching across your bare arms

Neither of you attacked one another, then

In fact, neither of you moved, until the sounds of the angry mob of villagers faded away

You don’t entirely remember most of what happened after, only remember begging her to take you with her

Despite its reputation, you knew working and living at the castle must be better than starving out at the forest

And, holding the same curiosity in her tone, she agreed and took you in

Only were you no mere staff member, dusting this and that

You were Bela’s favorite

And everyone knew

You worked for her only, didn’t take orders from even the head maiden

The two of you spent more and more time together, chatting and sharing bits and pieces of yourselves

Your- nature- certainly made your work more challenging and fun

As such, at times, you would hold onto the walls with the limbs stemming from your back and climb high to the ceiling to dust even the top of the shelves

Often- surprisingly often given how busy she was- Bela opted to join you

Not in cleaning, of course. You’re sure she thinks it’s below her

Instead, she’d often- and still does- swarm halfway, as if sleeping on an invisible mattress in the air

She’d watch you work, talk occasionally

At other times, she’d trace your limbs gently when no words were exchanged

And, unsurprisingly, the ever growing bond and fondness between the two of you leads to something more

While Bela was the first to initiate things, you proudly claimed the first kiss from her

Upon being in a relationship, she found out more about you still

Like the sharp fangs in your mouth, which she loves to trace and feel dig into her skin

She loves the webs you spin, her fingertips occasionally dragging against the light silk

Sometimes, a fly of hers gets stuck

That, she loves less

And still, you always take care of the little insects, ensuring they won’t be trapped in some of the smaller webs you leave

At times, you quite intentionally web her, your spidery silk-like web trapping her arms above her head, her body fondled by the many limbs you possess….

Alas, we’re trailing off, but of course, your nature, body, and abilities are appreciated in all aspects

The bedroom being one of them, too

Though, Bela loves nothing more than cuddling up together, too

Especially when held in your arms, all of them wrapped tightly around her

It’s perfect to her, and often a blanket or two will be thrown in the mix in winter

Once, you suggested wrapping her up in your webs to keep her warm, which she quickly shut down

You learn, she doesn’t like feeling like prey, dislikes the feeling of being stuck like…well, a fly in a web

Speaking of, insects are strictly off the menu for you

That doesn’t mean she doesn’t encourage you to hunt, though

Often, you spin your webs at the forest surrounding the castle, hoping to bring back a catch that might earn you the favor of her younger sisters and mother

At other times, Bela all but swoons when you trap a particularly delicious maid and deliver her to her as a snack

Still, there is one thing that amuses you to no end…

She loved you, wholeheartedly. And she loved your arachnoid nature, too. She loves every bit of you

So you can’t explain to yourself why your partner is so terribly scared of spiders

The small critters truly do a number on her, prompting screams and shrill squeals, shivers and so on

Always, you ensure there are no spiders in the castle. No webs but your own

…Your lovely girlfriend and her sisters, suffering from arachnophobia

The thought always makes you giggle

Cassandra

Looking back, you can hardly believe your luck

Not only did you survive Mother Miranda’s experimenting, the depths of the village, the infamous basement of castle Dimitrescu and its residents, but also wooed one of them

Having Cassandra sleeping soundly on top of you, your limbs wrapped around her, you allow yourself to think of how you first met

Her eyes, a dark golden light in the dark, piercing you the very same day you were sent to the castle basements

And it seems, you awakened curiosity within the sadist

Of course, a being like you would

Something so rare, someone so unique

While you were originally made to be her newest plaything, a failed experiment handed over, Cassandra had no interest in killing you

Not that this stopped her light torture

Though, looking back, you can’t help but giggle. Even then she showed you affection in her twisted ways

Like when she’d stroke a dagger along your limbs, the touch strong and grounding, her breath fast

She has always been so very curious about you

Your eyes are her favorite part of you

She loves how unsettling they look

Sometimes, she whines; she wants to pluck them from you so very badly, to hold and kiss, to preserve and carry with her always

You have learned to understand and love her twisted affection, her rough words and the gentle, almost romantic meaning behind them

While you could easily get lost in her dark golden eyes, the same goes for her and your eyes

Sometimes, she likes to just stare at them when you cuddle, her eyes desperately trying to meet all of yours

It’s an admittedly adorable sight

And even during your first introduction, when she had grabbed your face harshly, she easily got lost in your eyes

While originally chained to the moldy wall of the basement, you’re upgraded fast

You become her obsession, her pet, her favorite horror in the castle

An honor, really

You know when she calls you her horror, it’s the most romantic thing she can express with words

She loves every part of you, too

Early on already she experiments with you, your cooperative nature catching her slightly by surprise

As such, when she lifted and prodded, cut and sniffed and what not, you always took it as an opportunity to talk to her

Early on, you find out more and more of Cassandra

Later, you learn she often rambles mindlessly when utterly absorbed in her experiments, games, and torture

As such, early on already, you listened as she rambled about her sisters and her hunts

Your presence was always a refreshing one, really

Cassandra is bold

As such, when she noticed just that, and how much she had grown to care for “her experiment”, you were moved from the basement

Quickly, your relationship turned from one of a captive and their tormentor to desire

She clearly desired you, her breaths ragged around you, her heart beating fast, her lip bit, her hands touching up on your limbs eagerly

And you had no reason to hide your attraction, in turn

To this day, you like experimenting with her

In a way, it’s allowing her to get to know you more

Often, her experiments mean working out new techniques to spin webs

At other times, she wants to see how precisely you can control the limbs stemming from your back

With a nice routine of spending nearly every day together, it’s no surprise when you eventually made a move on her

One Cassandra eagerly accepted and returned

She isn’t one for terms, and has never been. You’ve never been her prisoner. Never her friend. Never her partner

Always, you are what she feels

You’re her love, her passion, her horror, her excitement, her desire, her sadism

Due to this, there has hardly been a change after you’ve asked her to be your girlfriend. To her, you’ve always been what you are to her

You’re her partner, despite how she doesn’t like naming what you have

Her favorite couple activity is spending quality time together

She loves to hunt together

Her favorite game?

To chase prey into your web

She laughs loudly when it happens, her pupils wide, her hands twitching

If you ate humans and raw meat as she does, she would grant you the first bite, sometimes

As such, she likes to watch you wrap her prey up and carry it home for her

Her second favorite activity is to experiment with you, and do art together

She likes it particularly much when you spin a web and allow her to direct you, the silky threads assuming a shape to her liking

As it comes to experimenting, she finds it particularly fun when the two of you get to chat, one of your limbs holding onto her or handing her tools

The others are usually made to hold down whatever poor soul has caught her eye and is now to die

But really, her bright smile and manic crackle of laughter seems to make all your remaining morals drip away

Other things she loves is to use your webs to create obstacles when she trains

She knows she can’t achieve Daniela’s speed and precision as it comes to flying and the swarm, but likes to practice either way

And you like to help her by putting webs in her way

Only sometimes does she get stuck, growling and grumbling to you and herself when she’s…well…a fly in the spider’s web

Oddly enough, this doesn’t bother her, yet when even the smallest little spider is near her, she freaks out

Usually, that means you get to flick it away, hunting it down and only granted a rest when you present your love with the creature’s body as proof of its passing

You shake your head, smiling fondly at this, before returning to stroking your long fingers through dark hair. Less thick, more combed and cleaner looking, yet nearly matching yours in color

She hums in her sleep. You know, she will awaken soon, ready to hunt or plead with you to please play with the maids with her

It’s so very fun to see them stumble and cry in the webs, she insists

Daniela

To say Daniela was intrigued by you at first sight would be a vast understatement

Obsessed, more like it

Having been dragged to a lord’s meeting after countless experiments done by Mother Miranda, it’s the first and ideal opportunity to meet everyone

Including the stunning woman by the tall lady’s side

Lady Dimitrescu and her daughters, you learn

Daniela’s eyes are on you the instant you’re revealed to the lords

Gold with specks of green, piercing and curious, obsessed and eager

They flicker across you, your face and body, until they move back and flicker across your face, seemingly searching for eye contact

Eye contact, which proves difficult with the many sets of eyes you have

Oh, but she immediately gets lost in them

You flinch in surprise when she moves, fast, uncaring of the audience the two of you have

She’s pushed against you in an instant, her hands cupping your cheeks

Her skin is nearly as cold as yours, her palms cool as ice

She studies your eyes intensely

While she finds specks of red and purple, you find light shades of green hidden within the pools of gold of her eyes

Both of you immediately seem to fall in love with the sights presented to you

While you’re introduced as nothing but a failed experiment, Daniela immediately sees more in you

She begs, out loud as though she has no shame-

and maybe she doesn’t

- and she pleads:

“Mother, I must have them, please!”

And, you learn early on, Alcina Dimitrescu seems incapable of denying her youngest any wish she has

And in turn, it seems Mother Miranda has difficulty denying Alcina

As such, you’re handed over promptly, officially made Daniela’s property

She’d scoff at the title. You’re hers, though

You’ll be her best friend! Her love! Her soulmate!

She’s not wrong, at the end

For the first time in your life maybe, you feel free, even as you officially “belong to her”

You receive your own wing, even, though it’s near her own

You’re a little surprised at this, though now know that you’re given the entire wing by Alcina Dimitrescu to ensure no intruders would past the deadly webs and manage to find the precious youngest daughter

You’re quite proud of that, too

You like knowing you’re what stands between Daniela and any potentially dangerous intruders

You like knowing your webs will catch them should they sneak where they shouldn’t be

The only things she asks for are honesty, affection, genuine interest and respect

Things you’re eager to give her

In return, you receive time and space, love and affection, honesty and eagerness, care and happiness

While the two of you seem to start out as friends, more builds up between you fast

Daniela, bold as she is, is the first to initiate things, to steal looks and kisses, lingering touches and more

You eagerly give in, and the two of you become impossibly close

As such, you often sleep with her curled in your arms, your arms and legs wrapped around her, your limbs keeping her pressed close to you

She loves cuddling, loves holding your hands while your other limbs are wrapped around her

At other times, she likes to fight for fun with you

It’s a game to her, to evade your webs and limbs, to tackle them only to be smacked away by one of the long, strong limbs stemming from your back

Sometimes- usually- she wins

At other times, she ends up webbed by you, giggling when you make use of the opportunity to place small kisses all over her face

When she hunts on her own, she often takes you with her

She likes to race you, seemingly ignoring that your strength is not your speed, but the tactics and strategic placement of your webs

In the end, she likes to compare who captured the most prey

Often, it’s you, due to the many small animals getting lost in the webs

Though, she usually claims the larger and faster victims

Afterwards, she likes to indulge in snacks with you, often stroking along one of your limbs absently

When you’re spinning your webs, she likes to stay close and watch, occasionally freaking out when bits of her get stuck

She’s whining and snarling then, unable to free herself until you cut the webs loose and tug them from her

Despite liking your webs and being in your arms, Daniela doesn’t enjoy the feeling of being stuck in your webs

Too often has she lost herself as a fly in some spider’s web…

[ideyaag]

i just saw the movie and boy do i have thoughts

spoilers for venom the last dance

THAT FUCKIN ENDING HUH!!??

this movie is full of interesting choices and ending it with a montage to maroon 5 certainly is a choice!

for real tho i love some of the character moments, venom is a sweetheart as always, ms.cheng is awesome and i really enjoyed the little road trip family.

however eddie i feel like couldve been more emotional.. i know his whole deal is that hes gruff and always just wants to go home but like, they've been together for a full year, its the finale! and hes still being apprehensive to enjoy being with venom. he obviously needs him and loves him or else he wouldn't be willing to be on the run with him and he says so himself that he needs him, BUT there were so many opportunities to push that more!

i wanted him to be desperate and heartbroken when he realized the gravity of the situation they were in. i wanted him to break out and rescue venom himself to reunite with him. i wanted it to be obvious to anyone that eddie loves venom as much as venom loves eddie. but it just never hit that hard.

also! WHY ARE WE SETTING UP A NEW STORY!!!!??!!?!!!?

a new villain (who honestly they didnt do a good job setting up in the first place) who they dont defeat by the end. and a new protagonist that will be the one to stop him.....

if you're wondering where i got this its the credit scenes

the mid credit scene is the bad guy that venom just sacrificed himself to stop him from being free, says something along the lines of "thats ok darkness will still come that just means you lost your hero" so..... the sacrifice was for nothing!?

and then the end credit scene shows a cockroach coming out of the rubble and getting zapped by a taser that was dropped there...

this is obviously referencing how the new lightning scientist lady (forgot her name) is going to be the one to kill the bad guy who venom and everyone else failed to kill the symbolism is pretty clear: she has a tragic backstory regarding lightning and she just got a symbiote with lightning powers so shes tha taser, and the hunters that theyve been fighting the whole movie was blended in a plane engine, blown up, torn to shreds, stabbed and always got back up, they are the cockroaches. she even says at the beginning of the movie that she knows cockroaches would survive the blasts from the deconstruction..... this could also mean that the symbiotes lived but i doubt it....

and killing literally every symbiote except the one the new protag has was so unnecessary, i liked the one christmas girl had they were great together.

and again the villain.... they really gotta remember to show not tell..... venom dumping all of this info onto us was not a good way for me to retain it lol. i got some but i must be missing something cus what i got feels just really convoluted and just leaves me with more questions.. but not in the oh i have to find out way, but in the why the hell is it like that way.

so the creator of the symbiotes is locked away cus hes evil but the key is in a codex which only happens when a symbiote and its host fuse souls after the host is brought to life... and he also made symbiote hunters which go after the codex to free him so he can kill everything....

there are so many things i just don't understand about that and i think ill just leave it there because its midnight and im tired lol

dont take this seriously and get mad at me, critiquing shit i like is how i have fun lol

this is just my post movie thought spew lolol

[thoughts-and-gayers]

here's how the freaky mortys theory can still win. (aka, what i'm calling the friendly mortys theory.)

(carrying over a lot of connections made by @trucknoisettes and @glitteringcrab)

so, its no secret that evil morty tends to play up his 'mortyness' when he needs to appear innocent. most recently seen in unmortricken, where he pretends to be morty prime and the first words out of his mouth are "aw jeez".

its also no secret that morty's been ping-ponging a bit between s1/2 personality and s5/6 personality.

i posit that the moments where he's seen acting more like the cliche morty is the moments where its actually evil morty overcompensating, and the moments where he actually acts like morty prime are, yknow, morty prime.

this would, of course, require that they be swapping places off-screen throughout season 7.

or, and this is where i get full tinfoil-hat, theyve been doing it even longer than that.

while rick was off having his anime crow arc in season 5, morty was doing... something. the show doesnt really dwell on it, except mention that morty was on the citadel at some point. its entirely possible that morty got to talking with people on the citadel, maybe even making some friends. maybe one of those friends just so happened to be the president.

evil morty didnt have a clear reason to invite our rick and morty to dinner before he destroyed the citadel. i doubt that he had a soft spot for rick c-137, but maybe, just maybe, he had a soft spot for morty prime. the morty who stood up to his rick and had been complaining about being left by him only a few days ago.

obviously morty hadn't known EM's actual plan. he probably didnt know too much about EM at all. but there's no way that EM, the character who just wants to be alone, would invite a total stranger along with him out of the cfc.

but no. morty declined.

what if the second seat wasnt a toilet. what if he had built a second seat in order to take morty with him, but lied to protect his reputation.

so imagine, our morty, morty prime is reeling from everything that happened. and as horrified as he is, maybe he also understands. just a little bit.

and evil morty, he built his base, he's finally left alone, but maybe he's also a bit lonely. after all, the robot butler also clearly was programmed for conversation.

so, maybe partway through season 6, evil morty talks to morty prime. they make up. they agree to switch places on occasion. after all, morty needs a break from all the bullshit sometimes, and EM is probably curious what morty's family, and indeed rick c-137, is actually like.

and so when evil morty comes to that base where rick and morty are, morty obviously isnt going to act like they know each other. so he overcompensates just like EM can, but in the other direction.

like, come on, can you really believe that morty prime would act like that with no provocation? he may have a violent side, but it doesnt just come out of nowhere. and yes, the blood vortex was horrifying, but clearly EM isnt here to attack either of them right now.

now, if he was, say, exaggerating his dislike of EM so rick wouldnt get suspicious, then this makes a lot more sense. morty's not really a good liar! in fact, they could even be swapped right then! this seems more like what EM would say in this situation, doesnt it?

now, while i was reading @trucknoisettes unmortricken analysis, i was wondering why morty would jump from being openly hostile to EM to agreeing to temporary mind control, but if the hostility was all an act? if he already had some precedent for trusting EM? well, a whole lotta things start making sense.

so, to summarize this wild speculation:

- evil morty and morty prime have been friends since after season 5 episode 9

- at some point in season 6, evil morty made up with morty off-screen.

- after making up, the two of them started switching places on occasion throughout season 6 and 7

- morty prime's hostility to evil morty in 7.5 was an act

and perhaps ive taken a few too many liberties, but yknow. i'm here to have fun and ship evil morty x morty not make perfect sense.

[queenofbaws]

Have been bingereading the Almosts lately for the first time (going slow only because the slowly eroding friendships pre anniversary are causing me physical pain, its absolutely amazing), and just discovered your six sentence prompts! Could you do one exploring what would happen if chris could survive the hannah attack-- specifically in a route where he shot ash and then she didnt open the door for him? 👀👀

It was dumb luck, that open window - dumb luck and about a million other pointless choices coalescing, adding up and slotting into just the right place at just the right time to save his miserable skin. Spurred on by adrenaline and terror and the very, very clear understanding that if he slipped even once he could very well end up so much blood spatter in the snow, he moved faster than he'd ever moved in his life, vaulting up the bin and through the still-open pane, tumbling onto the hard-packed floor the way he had earlier, back when Josh had still been his friend (read: back when he had still been alive).

The...the thing (the old guy with the flamethrower had called it something, but he couldn't remember now, not with the image of his body sinking into the snow so fresh in his mind) was too big to follow: Its spindly limbs gnashed and flailed, it screamed like the very voice of hell itself, but each of its swipes missed him, missed him, just barely missed him.

He sat there for a long time even after it left, not quite trusting his own senses, but when the numbness of his terror wore off, when he caught his breath and the burning in his lungs moved into his extremities instead, he carefully got up and tested his shaky legs; out of the storage room and into the lodge he toddled, taking (again) the exact same route an earlier version of him had wandered before, and it wasn't until he stepped into the great room that -

"Dude, holy shit, we thought you fucking died," Mike said, grabbing him by the arms and giving him a once-over, "talk about a lucky break, huh?"

"Yeah, real lucky," said a flat, unimpressed voice from the other side of the room, and Chris, feeling his stomach twist at the memory of yanking at the sliding door onto to find it locked, realized he couldn't meet Ashley's eyes; he realized too, as she breezed past him and Mike to make for the stairs, the basement, the others, that maybe, just maybe, dying out there might've been a kinder fate than having to face her again.

six sentence sat(or)sunday!!!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for refusing to get back with an ex?

So i (21m) was in a poly relationship with S (21x) and J (24m) for about a year (so that would be when i was 20, S was 19 and J was 22)

Midway through the relationship i was going through some mental health shit so i kind of subconsciously distanced myself (my bad, i definitely shouldve been upfront about what was happening but i have vulnerability issues)

Dont get me wrong, i wasnt straight up neglectful or anything (to my knowledge?), but i really didnt go out with them as much as i used to (if one of us couldnt attend, the other two would go as a couple. It was more efficient like) and didn't really feel as much "honeymoon" intensity if that makes sense

I think its also important to note that once i was semi-able to pull myself out of my rut i decided to start these big art projects to show my appreciation for them and also kind of make up for my distance, like that shit took up my time and sleep and effort. i felt like i wanted to take the next step from casual dating to something actually serious with a future and everything because getting out of my spiral made me remember how much i loved them

So i called them up and found out that they kind of... kicked me off the polycule?? It was this weird situation where they thought I was leaving them behind so they also fully moved in together and started acting like a regular couple without me. obviously i was pissed, and S apologized and tried to communicate which i really appreciate, but J was just doubling down blaming me. At the time i was so angry i turned it into a full out yelling match

I realized it wasnt healthy nor working out and broke it off fully, telling S we could still be friends but cutting J off entirely. I gave all J's shit that was still at my place back to S, blocked J's number and scrapped my project altogether

Fast forward to present day, and im in a completely unrelated relationship with two people i love with all my heart, and by this time ive healed and mended my relationship with S enough that i thought we could start over and add them to the polycule (to be clear my current partners like them too and are on board). We did do that, it's going great and i'm remembering why i loved S so much in the first place

The issue is that S is still with J, and while J doesn't have any issues with both of us separately dating S, S wants all of us to reunite again for old times sake and its very obvious that theyre still holding onto the old versions of us and what we used to be. I say no, i dont even like J anymore and havent spoken to him in forever so why the hell would i care?? Ive grown and changed so much in the time after our relationship that i wouldnt even fit into the nostalgic mold that you want me to be a part of and i dont think J would either

The thing is J does also seem like hes interested in starting over. S said he's grown a lot since, but i think our personalities just dont mesh and ive also just fallen fully out of love with him. It seems to break S's heart, but they get it and don't bother me about it anymore. On the other hand J respects my decision but is still like passive aggressively annoyed about how seriously i took it, saying it was mostly my fault and i took drastic measures for nothing.

Aita?

What are these acronyms?

[unionizedwizard]

don't. mind me 👍

i guess it's just. well. i feel a lot better these days, i only have to make sure to (ffxiv momence) look to the future and let go of the past, which is fun because i can literally not think about anything that happened between 1998 and, like, 2022 without Experiencing Extreme, Localized Endsinger-sponsored Despair and Pain. And also, technically 2018-2022 is not that bad of a period compared to the previous decades, but it's got its own specific flavor of Unsettling, because 1) I Forgor. like i literally forgot 90% of this time period. 2) every time i talk to my friends (who knew me back then) they mention something i said/did during these years and it feels. So wildly out of character. Like "he would not fucking say that" except that i apparently did, and i have no recollection of anything but i'll have to take their word for it, and it's. hm. terrifying! It's like my body was piloted by another consciousness for, like, 4 years straight, i forgot all the books i've read, all the new people i've met, most of the conversations i've had, pretty much all i remember (sort of) clearly is my cats, and even then the timeline is extremely blurry. I know it's a widespread and rather normal phenomenon to look back on your past self and feel like they're a stranger, lost to you now, but i cannot stress enough how literal this is for me. I really feel like i've been replaced by a doppelganger for four years. My blog (main) is, i think, more recent than that because i remember deactivating at some point so ive lost a lot of archives, but even then, when i scroll back several years, i mostly have no idea what 80% of my posts are about and have no memory of anything

But on the other hand, ive felt basically as if i was my 20yo self again since 2022. Extremely weird. I had this.... weird.... merging.... memory.... moment on august 1st 2022 and when i woke up i *was* the person who lay down To Die For Real in april 2018. it was. so confusing for so very long. i knew where i was because i was living in the same place and woke up in the same bed i'd been lying in back then, but everything else was ????. it even took time to adapt to my CATS, i only remembered catgar for a bit since he was there in 2018

and the weirdest thing was that suddenly, memories i couldnt access for four years (2018-2022), and specifically knowledge i couldnt recall during this time period... suddenly came back. clear as day. for four years i'd been trying to remember pretty much everything i'd read and learned in my philosophy classes in uni, and it didnt work, even trying to read the books themselves didnt work because everything felt blurry and nonsensical and illegible. this was one of the reasons i had to give up on my philosophy major when i went back to uni in september 2018. and then suddenly, after "i" (this self who had been to university as a philosophy major) woke up in august 2022, i could remember everything i'd studied from 2015-2018, with astonishing clarity. i didnt even need to make an effort, words and ideas came back to me spontaneously and everything made sense again! but on the other hand, pretty everything i had read and studied in uni (as a comparative literature major) from 2018-2022 was Lost. blurry and nonsensical and flat-out Forgotten to this day. and i still hold (some) memories from this time too, so it's really strange to try and make everything make sense. truly like two badly mixed set of memories/selves having to cohabit, on a daily basis

anyway that's not what i meant to say in the first place. but something that's becoming... more and more pressing, and real, these days (more of a long, months-long process) is that. well. i remember so much of my childhood and teen years, with such perfect clarity, and i've only told a tiny fraction of these memories to friends (and usually expunged from actual emotional weight. comedic deflection is my middle name). and i know i need to stop talking about these awful, terrible, sordid stories at all because it doesn't... do anything good. it hurts people who hear them, usually they can't stand it too (understandably so), and it is true that it makes me feel worse, but. and that's the problem. then why. what was it all for. will it all simply be ignored, denied, and then forgotten after i die with no one to remember about it? not only did i not get the most basic nurturing most people get (as infants!), which is actively ruining my life to this day, and which effects can only be somewhat lessened over time (if *i* put in the effort, which is. exhausting AND unfair to boot), not only did i lack these basic foundations... but i have to hollow myself out of whatever *is* there, too, for both my sake and others'? what then will remain of me? a ghost of a ghost, emptied out of all the filth and pain and poison at best, like i was simply born as a 25 years old? i never felt like an actual human person to begin with! the alienation is as old as i am!

I already forgot and was alienated from my 20 to 24 years old self, and i should also... simply ignore and repress and keep quiet everything else that i've experienced my whole life? This feels so unfair! My memories are the only thing testifying to this injustice, everyone else simply is rewriting the truth to make it convenient and comfortable (mother's side), or flatly ignoring everything out of a sense of unease (guilt?) (father's side). Should one simply erase this child from the world at all? From reality? From collective memory? It's not the child's fault their very presence brings suffering and discomfort to anyone who even glimpses them. And why should we keep ignoring them? And yet it *is* the best option. So really, what was it all for? There's no possible closure or understanding or justice or retribution or forgiveness or revenge, should i simply pretend none of this ever existed? There is no justice in this world, and i don't even know what form a possible justice could take in an ideal world, and i don't believe in heaven or anything like that, and i'm tired of looking to the future without having any kind of secure network and having to rely on myself only for everything and trust in my own resilience, but also this can never be remedied and i know it (don't "found family" me please) and it's just like.

how do you live with the knowledge that nobody ever came to your help, nobody rescued you or even tried to, you had to do it all yourself, and this can never be changed or helped, and if you look to the past it will only burden and destroy you further as well as harm the people who now care about you and are in your life, and you can't fix anything and the only way is forward, and erasing your entire childhood self, your memories (the good mixed with the bad) is the only way to keep on living? should i have to erase myself to have the faintest hope to live? i'm a hollowed-out mind in the best days, when this can be construed as lightness. is this fair? is this fair? is this fair?

[my-castles-crumbling]

okay so hi..

um ive seen people do this so ig im going to as well.

basically i and my gf (she/her) have been in a relationship for nearly 6 months (6 in two weeks). we're both 19.

we met through my bsf and her bsf dating and now we are (i had the biggest crush on her but genuinely didnt think she'd give me a chance).

ive had pretty bad luck in relationships before and they never lasted more than 3 or 4 months mainly due to the fact that im asexual and btoh previous oartners just assumed they could change me (???) but she genuinely understood and went out of her way to make me comfortable and make it known that nothing will be demanded of me more than that which i can give.

from the beginning of the relationship, ive made some rules very clear which are like my no nonsense ones, like i wont tolerate them usually at all.

one of them being not making me purposefully uncomfortable and the main big one is not yelling/shouting, especially at me. (i have past trauma from my parents and it has in the oast made me shut down completely for days at a time, only getting up to feed my cat)

on one of our beginning dates i mentioned this really nice and sorta expensive restaurant that ive always wanted to try but reservations are really hard to get.

she joked saying that oh id love to go with hou ehicb i laughed at but was mildly excited about.

so i got the reservation for yesterday, i made the reservation for two.

last month i told my girlfriend that i have finally got the reservation and would like to go with her, told her the dates and time and everything and she seemed genuinely excited to go with me.

now last week i confirmed her availability again, and asked her what colored dress she was wearing so i could match it with my clothes and we decided on a color etc and also to get ready at my place because her bsf has their family over so shes will be staying with me for 2 weeks.

now, yesterday, after i was done with my work i went to the living room just to well see her and hug her cz i missed her a bit since i hadnt really seen her in about 5 hours (i was working). when i knocked at her door, she opened it and was ready with a dress (not the color we agreed on), her purse laying in the background as she greeted me with a big smile and kiss (on the cheek).

i asked her isnt she ready a bit early and she just looked at me confusedly and said no i hve to meet R (her friend) at 4:30 so im just on time.

i asked why and where she's going just to know if she'd be back and she said that theyre going to the mall and then to the movies because R is leaving in 3 days to go on vacation so they want to spend some time togetehr.

i smiled and wished her luck, i thiught that maybe i got the day wrong but i hadnt and i was actually really sad because all my life, everyone in my family would repeatedly just forget about my plans and my shit for others' and she knew abt that.

but anyways, so i decided to still go and i took this really lovely lady, who's homeless but i buy her a meal everyday and take her out to lunch once a week. (shes like in her 30s btw)

we had a lovely time and the food was divine, i even helped the lady get ready in a changing room.

but anyways on my way home i realised i had 3 missed calls from my girlfriend and a text that just said.

we need to talk as soon as you get home.

the moment j entered my apartment, she just started to yell at me about how much of a piece of shit i am, how people forget and its not a big deal, how im an arse, how not everything is supposed to be about me, and could i possibly imagine how she felt coming back to an empty apartment, she thought something had happened to me.

that is not the order she sais everything in but someway through my breathing started to get extraordinarily fast and i coukd feel my vision getting blurry.

i said sorry to her, or i think(?) i cant really remember stuff when i get panic attacks like this. i took my cat and went to my room.

it took quite a while for my cat to calm me down bur she was able to in the end.

this morning, i made breakfast for her and since i have today off from uni i decided to go to my job (i work part-time remote but can come and go to the iffice if i wish)

its my break rn and im thinking about it, maybe it wasnt a big deal? maybe i should have reminded her again but like idk it was a pretty big thing for me.

i feel bad, i feel like i made a mountain out if a molehill and shouldve just apologised properly and explained to her that its okay and that it wasnt that big of a deal.

i dont knwo?

i wanted some advice because i truly feel very strongly for her and shes the only relationship ive had in which i feel valued and had zero self doubt (up until yesterday)

im sorry it was so long, and thank you for your help.

Hi!!

Okay so...this is hard because, I don't know if either of you are to blame, here. Your girlfriend wasn't great for forgetting, but then I was wondering why you didn't say anything? But then she was shit for yelling later....

I'm wondering if this is the first time this has happened? It sounds like a lack of communication, you know? I think you guys really need to sit down and discuss how you were both feeling. But if this becomes a pattern, especially your girlfriend yelling, I would think more about the relationship.

Keep me updated! I'm naming you orange anon.

[queernarcissus]

"So, whats on the agenda for todays scene zeddyyyy?"

She rolls her eyes, "Well, I thought I'd do something new, but blindfold you so you don't know what I'm going to do."

"Sure, I'm down for that!"

It lays down on the lab table into a jokingly seductive pose. "How do you want me miss scientist?"

Zed giggles a little but tries to stop it by biting her tounge between her teeth. She clears her throat, "Ahem well, bottoms off but, you can do whatever you want with the top."

It starts taking off the shorts it opted for today, wiggling a bit to get the tight latex over it's hips.

"Oh I can do whatever I want with the top hm? Well you better come over here then."

Zed rolls her eyes again, "Be serious! Or I'll gag you."

Bunny smirks, "Oh noooo, how terrible that would be."

"Oh shush," Zed says as she walks over with the blindfold. She holds it out for Bunny to look at, "It's got a custom curse of binding, if I put it on you, only I can take it off you, you okay with that?"

It nods eagerly, "That sounds so fun and so interesting, you'll tell me about how you did it after?"

"Of course! I've been dying to tell someone about it but I also wanted to keep it a surprise; I didn't know who I was going to use it on first so you'd be hearing about it even if you didnt want to honestly."

"Right I'll put it on you, and then get you layed down safely okay?"

"Got it."

Zed is gentle as she places the blindfold on, mindful of Bunnys ears and hair, ties it securely, takes a step back to admire and smiles before gently pushing Bunny to lay down.

"Now, where do I even start," Zed starts talking out loud to herself, part of why Bunny likes scenes with Zed, she speaks a lot, like it's just a subject of an experiment, which in most cases, it is. Honestly it's probably had more sex with Zed on the lab table than in a real bed.

It feels Zed pushing it's legs apart, "Oh! both today hm? Well thats more fun for me!"

Theres a moment and then Bunny can hear Zed clattering around with, something, it's not entirely sure, could be several things - or Zed just forgot where she put whatever it is shes looking for.

The noise stops and then Zed is petting at the base of its ears, Bunny practically melts at that, shes done enough experimenting that she knows exactly where to pet to make that happen.

Zed stops after a couple of minutes, deeming Bunny relaxed enough to get on with the next stage, reaching to trace the hidden seam she knows is along its chest and abdomen.

Bunny shivers at the touch, finally getting a vauge idea of what today might be about.

Its chest is open, machine guts fully on display, Zed poking at a few wires, and - Bunny thinks - taking notes about it all.

The anticipation and clinical behaviour has had it half hard this whole time and prpbably wet enough for a couple fingers straight away. Bunny shivers, arm twitching as Zed touches a certain wire, theres a pause, then she touches another wire. The specific wire shes identified as controlling some sort of pleasure (shes not exactly sure yet but more testing will be sure to help) drawing a small groan from Bunny.

Bunny feels a strange sensation on the wire, then a lot. All at once. And it's all it can focus on.

By the time it stops, Bunny is drooling slightly, and is sure its dick and hole are both leaking.

It hears Zeds voice, "This next bit might hurt."

Bunny lets out a breathless, "Bring it on."

The next thing it feels is so much more than before, it wants to grab and pull away whatever is doing this but. It can't move, it struggles. Realises it's restrained.

Fuck, tears start falling, but they're hidden by the blindfold as the panic starts to set in.

"Red red red, Zed please stop I can't, get these off please, I can't red."

The sensation stops as soon as it says the safeword, but the restraints dont come off.

"Zed let me go, let me out, I can't-"

Its still struggling, trying to fight out of the restraints.

"Hey, hey Bunny I'm trying to get them off but you need to try and stay still yeah?"

Fuck, Bunny is sobbing now, the panicked fight dissapearing as it just lays there.

The blindfold coming off is the next thing it registers, realises its free of the bindings, Zed is gently holding its hands and had coaxed it into a sitting position.

"Hey you're okay, c'mon lets get you somewhere nicer than this."

Bunny doesnt speak, just follows as zed guides it through her base to the cozy bedroom thats shared with her husbands.

Bunny still feels unsure what to do with itself and just stands in the doorway as zed busies herself with who knows what.

Bunny comes back to itself again and its sat next to Zed in the large bed, a pair of colourful boxers on - probably skizz or tangos - and Zedaph, fussing over it.

Bunny pulls its legs up to its chest and lays its head on its knees, arms wrapping around the legs.

"Sorry."

It's the first thing its said since the scene - or well the ending of it.

Zed has a slightly uncomfotable look on her face, "No, you don't need to apologise at all, its on me," she pauses, holding out some water for Bunny, which it takes.

"Was it the pain, or the restraints?"

Bunny holds up two fingers, sipping at the water.

"Right okay, is this an everytime thing or?"

"Pretty much." It shrugs.

"Can I ask why?"

Bunny doesnt really want to share but, Zed looks so earnest, so worried, it caves. But only a bit.

"Trauma stuff, y'know how it is."

Zed looks down, nods, "Yeah, I do."

She takes a deep breath and blows it out before looking up again, "Is there anyone who knows more that you'd rather be here than me? or be here as well?"

Bunny shrugs, "Not really, I think Etho vaugely knows something but I've not said anything, and from what I've heard Etho is not great at aftercare anyway."

Zed grimaces a little at that but nods, "Yeah, Etho tries but, not the best."

"Just more people in general being normal might help though? You could ask the guys to come over?"

Zed nods, pulling out her communicator, "You sure? They're pretty noisy sometimes."

Bunny smiles a little, "Yeah, I'm sure, noise is a good distraction sometimes.'

Zed sends a message and puts her communicator down, ignoring the immediate pings of responses, "They'll be here soon."

Skizz bursts into the room a fraction of a second later.

"Bunny! And Zed! I hope you're ready for cuddles!" He smiles wide, sharp teeth on display, but so unintimidating."

Bunny cant help but smile a little more as Skizz bounds over.

"Hey buddy! Ooooh you're wearing a Skizz special! The paint zags!"

"What?" Zed beats Bunny to the question.

"Well, those specific pair, those are the paint zags."

"Do you name all of your underwear?"

"No! Don't be silly! Just the ones that aren't a clear design. And I mean those *are* paint zags."

Bunny tunes out the details as it finishes off the water, waving at Impulse as he steps into the room, completely unnoticed by the other two who are either still bickering about naming underwear or the conversation has devolved because of 5 different tangents, Bunny doesn't really have the energy to care or to figure out which it is.

Impulse sits himself down next to Bunny, offering it a cookie, "From Scars, still warm."

"Still warm? You spoil me."

He gently nudges it with his shoulder, "Well, maybe you're secretly my favourite, don't tell them though." He nods his head at Zed and Skizz, who were now holding hands and she was seated in his lap, still continuing their conversation.

"Yeah, they're a bit too weird for you huh?"

That gets a laugh out of Impulse, "Yeah, maybe, at least you're normal huh?"

That gets a scoffed laugh out of Bunny.

"I mean compared to most of you hermits I probably am pretty normal, although, not sure this is normal aftercare."

Impulse shrugs, "Aftercare doesn't have to be anything specific, as long as all people involved in the scene end up feeling okay then its fine, even if it is a little unconventional."

"Mmm, I suppose," It finally takes a bite of the cookie, groaning at the wonderful tase and flopping into Impulse slightly, "Thank you so much for this."

Impulse gently puts an arm around it, "No worries," Before turning his head, "Tango stop lurking over there, and come over here."

Bunny feels the slight heat from tango as he approaches, "Hey." She waves at it.

"Hey." Bunny waves back, very halfheartedly, energy waning a lot

Tango smiles at it, you should get some sleep.

"Mmmm only if you keep my pillow warm."

"Sure."

Bunny watches through half lidded eyes as Tango snuggles himself into Impulses other side.

"You've got youre very own podcast background noiseificator to fall asleep to as well huh." She says, gesturing at the other two, who seemed to now be talking about... eggs?

Bunny nods slightly, "They're pretty good at it honestly."

"Zeds voice has always been quite soothing." Agrees Impulse.

Bunny mmms in agreement, falling into the arms of sleep.

[horseforeplay]

hi, is the long covid and basically what youve been talking about recently applies worldwide or its the us issue? i didnt see much about it in like disabled groups or in general in my country but now im concerned i mightve just not dig deep enough? are there any resources i can look into? youre welcomed to tell me to fuck off but also thank you in advance

hi! yes, c19 has gone endemic globally. i'm not sure what country you're in, but if you believe that covid is no longer a problem where you are, chances are that your government is deliberately minimizing a deadly disease. leaders want you to get back to work. disabled people are forced to shelter-in-place indefinitely (just like the rest of the world decided was a nightmare to do temporarily). if you look around and only see maskless people, it may be easy to conclude that no one is masking anymore because they don't have to. the reality is that high-risk people have been pushed even more deeply into the fringes as the virus is free to mutate and become more transmissible. even countries that had more effective shutdowns than the US are seeing an uptick in cases, though those numbers remain less steep. i hope you don't mind if i use this ask to say a lot of things.

here's one link: did u know the spanish flu was called the spanish flu because spain was neutral during WWI and therefore was the first country to break the news? it didn't originate in spain. it was all over europe. the allied powers did not want to "ruin wartime morale" by telling anyone living in those countries that a deadly virus was in their midst. we're in a surreal fucking situation, where the death count was alarming enough in the first year of c19 that governments were forced to react at first, but have now successfully propagandized the majority of the world into believing that it ended. it never ended. (and world leaders and billionaires know it -- they are still protecting themselves. nobody gets to meet joe biden without a PCR test. temporary air filtration systems get installed at high schools where he makes speeches, then taken down when he leaves.) it's not "like the flu" (though the flu kills and disables people every year!). there's no such thing as a "summer flu". it's not like a cold. it's now been able to mutate to look more like a cold (dominant variants no longer have the hallmark fever or even coughing symptoms), but it is a disease that attacks every system in the body. even a mild case can give you organ damage you won't know about until something goes wrong with your body. we are only in year three of this thing. we (and i mean everyone) are flying blind. we don't have any idea what people's life expectancies are going to look like down the line. certainly not for long covid patients.

regardless of pushes to "return to normal", it is becoming abundantly clear (right now, mostly only to those most greatly affected by c19) that there is nothing to go back to. we are puppeteering the limbs of a dead world. now that we understand how masks mitigate the spread of disease, why are nurses cheering and fucking clapping when we remove them again from hospitals? as climate change becomes worse and worse, we are staring down a world where we are meant to accept that the death of "some people" (see: other people) is inevitable. it is not. the preventative action that you take against c19 is preparing you wildfire smoke and the next virus the warming planet helps spread.

resources? resources. here is a great political breakdown of what is happening, called let them eat plague. good reading if you consider yourself a communist or would like to be one. here, too, is an archived version of an atlantic article on what CE/MFS looks like (one of the long covid health outcomes i am living with).

most of my resources center on US handling of the pandemic, but eugenic capitalism is a global problem. unfortunately, i'm not a great collector of links to things i've read even under the best of circumstances. it's just not a strong suit. adding this to the reality that i have been close to bed-bound by long covid for the last three weeks, and i'm just not gonna transform into a great link guy. i'm sorry about this. there are covid activists who are much better at sharing external resources than i am, but we are in the phase of c19 now where most of the people organizing right now are also sick themselves. so, many of them have a tendency to disappear, or struggle to keep pages up-to-date. some key phrases i might search for on social media for local groups might be "covid aware" or "covid safe", to see if something for your location pops up. i know there are groups in the netherlands, ireland, and australia pushing for covid education and a better world for those disabled by the pandemic.

i think many people are having difficulty understanding how many people have died of c19. for scale, an accepted figure for total global AIDS deaths (as of 2017) is 940,000. that's just under a million. it would be a whole hell of a lot more if not for continuous direct political action (thank you ACT UP), but people (especially in sub-saharan africa) continue to die today. C19 deaths in 2020 alone were at three million. in 2023 we are at over 6.9 million. the crisis never fucking ended. that is over 6.9 million deaths, and counting, in a "post-vaccine" world. (a vaccine is not a fucking cure).  i think part of what we are seeing right now is that the people who care the most are fucking shaken. most of us are just stunned. estimates show TEN MILLION people are living with long covid in the united states alone. TEN MILLION!!!! JUST IN THE STATES!

vaccines are not a cure. i will keep repeating this until somebody understands it. vaccines are not a cure. vaccines do not cure c19, no matter where you live in the world. vaccines are also becoming less and less accessible as the public "learns to live with" the virus. some people will never be eligible for vaccines. vaccines make many people living with long covid much sicker (as happened to me). i will continue advocating for vaccines, as i advocate for all precautionary measures (like nasal sprays which i am also allergic to since long covid can cause MCAS), but it needs to be said that many many people cannot access or safely use these measures. world governments would like you to believe that a high tech intervention (vaccines) have saved us from having to bother with uncomfortable low-tech measures (masking). resist this. i was double boosted and healthy when i had my first (and only, to my knowledge) covid infection in september of 2022. i am 27 years old and this virus has disabled me.

i was also masking frequently in public when i caught covid. masks are a bit like car seatbelts; it's a smart fucking idea, but you can still crash. this is an imperfect comparison, though, since then your seatbelt would also be protecting your passengers and other drivers. when the burden of masking falls only on vulnerable people, everybody gets fucked. one-way masking is safer than not masking, but it's not half as effective.

there is no known cure for long covid. that means that doctors will tell long covid patients that they do not know what is wrong with them at every turn, oftentimes disbelieving, minimizing, and recommending treatments (like exercise and weight loss) that can leave patients bed-bound or dead. any covid infection can become long covid, in any person, at any age, and your chances of developing long covid INCREASE EXPONENTIALLY with each infection --building immunity with repeat infections is an insidious and deadly myth. covid infections compound. how many times are people expected to get this fucking virus?

when you are in public, the chances that you are either around a high-risk person or around someone who is in close contact with a high-risk person is almost 100%. break every goddamn transmission chain you possibly can.

invest in an N95 (or better) mask. here is a link to where i buy mine. governments should provide these, as well as free access to vaccines and testing sites and medicine for acute infections, but we are in the phase now where major pushes for activism are only barely getting their land legs while the majority covers their ears and goes on laughing and drinking and dancing. be there when the screams get loud enough. add your voice, help the day come sooner, so less children get long covid at school and less friends get heart attacks at 30 and less grandparents disappear and lovers you used to enjoy dining with lose their sense of smell and taste forever. there will be greater collective action as this moves closer to home for more people. but in the meantime.

live compassionately. as the world moves on, we need people everywhere to start fighting back. take action for people who can't (cuz people who should be in bed resting or processing all this fucking grief are being forced to act and can feel very alone).

this is one ask and i will probably post more later but tumblr dot com is just not my primary outlet for activism or expression lol. i have mainly used this page to vent a few times because i am quite literally trapped in my house unable to work. but it's my silly blog where i go to be silly. i hope any of this was helpful to you or anybody reading.

[joculatrixster]

thank you for replying! -i understand where youre coming from but i feel like some of the points you brought up about scott can't just be boiled down to homophobia if that makes sense- like people see scott as calculated because he calls making allies/friendships a 'social game' etc . and obviously grian and joel berating and teasing jimmy also isn't entirely fine but i think toxicity in the context of an alliance vs a canon-explicit marriage should be weighed differently, but ultimately im not sure that grian is actually necessarily "worse" than scott; while i think grian and joel and jimmy do have an unbalanced dynamic alot of the 'berating' between them is more like 'jimmy you idiot you died to xyz' whereas with scott in 3l it felt a bit more manipulative likewhen scott purposely placed something to scare jimmy and then made fun of him for being scared but. idk

also i think everyone understands that they're friends in real life and nothing ccjimmy is actually uncomfortable with would make it into a video but this is just to think about/interpret their characters within the context of the roleplay/storyline

again this isnt meant as an attack or anything at all - i just wanted to talk about why some people would have a different interpretation of fh!

thats fair, i read ur reply when i was busy i dont remember it well but honestly a fair take ^-^b i dont think it ALL is sorry i didnt make it clear i think the reason its POPULAR is bc scott fans r not rlly the ppl doing this its jimmy fans who dominate the fandom way more, but the fact irs happening to the gay guy IS weird and something to raise a brow to especially when there r more weird extreme fans who take it wayyy too far

it feels unbalanced to me bc it is, grian and joel have more fans in the life series rlly than scott bc most scott fans r just not life series postinfg, so when grian or joel does something mean to others in a similar vien its seen less in a negative light. im going off of memory so forgive me if i get a bit fuzzy w it

scott teases jimmy their friendship is kinda rivalry type thing its rlly just how they r, but ppl r not as used to it which is understandable too. idrc if ppl think scott is a bit manipulative hes just like. vilinized for it or seen as cold when he clearly still cares for his allies? he sacrificed SO much time in lil, he let ppl kill him in secret life, i wish i saw ppl rlly speak more on those better parts of him but also its just more normalized to intpret his actions more cold than it is for say grian who could be seen as cold for how easy he sheds alliances.

every intpretation is fine but w scott it genuinely goes into character bashing territory or just making him the stand in vilian jimmy needs to be saved from in fandom spaces which is agian fine if it happened to other characters who r similarly manipulative or calculating(martyn, scar, impulse even...) but deadass ive never seen anyone but scott put in such a position. which is weird. to me. especially when framed as him being bashed or vilinized for his straight friend who ppl hc he abuses like...ok. but where is the same energy for scar who is deadass evil af in 3rd life and limited life..? scar who destroys the ranch and kills his mother and doesnt apologize for either??? is it bc ppl just like him more so it makes more sense wven he does manipulative stuff??? martyn who is notoriously devisive for his ending and playstyle but in fics like its not great but he tends to not be as hated or put in the same level of bashing pll do for scott? hes prob the closest ive seen to the way scott is seen as an easy stand in vilian but i have not seen it as bad for him?

tho anon no not everyone understands there is a group of ppl who genuinely think scott in real life is an abusive person and actually that inspired my original post bc pll said w their whole chest they think scott is bad and makes jimmy uncomfortable

sorry if this is jumbled the other anon message is turning me into the joker...i get what u mean and i DO think its naunced but ppl REFUSE to acknowledge how weird it can feel for others to see and while i do think there r other factors...this fandom has leaned into homophobia for scott especially more frindge jimmy fans, sorry i think i mixed up a lot of things in my replys i was busy and also i genuinely dont care enough about tumblr anon posting to explain every naunce of an issue ie why i put pearl as a tag on bc the mysongy of all that is not for today thank u ^-^b

[spikeinthepunch]

if you thought that was the last post i would write today about Lisa, you are a fool. i wrote that last one at 2am so i have energy for another one, bc i had *more* thoughts even after that

TW for sexual abuse/rape/assault (i am going into more detail so please take that TW seriously)

Do victims talk? & how all the men mean something.

This is stupid long, sorry lol. i threw two topics into one.

okay so i had these thoughts on my mind prior and again i havent played Joyful (a few minutes of the start only)-- but with just the context of Painful this still sits on my mind.

Do victims talk? I want to answer this for myself.

Lisa (the character) was sexually abused and The First was pretty much an inner look at her mind. This reflects through most of Painful whenever it comes up, even if they aren't straightforward about it. That was the main thing, was not being clear when i played Painful, I didn't know what I was getting into. but with enough information it wasn't hard to side with Brad whether it was because of the abuse or the suicide-- and the fact that Buddy had been kidnapped in a world of men, who needed her in order to bring the world back. From the start, I felt like I knew what was coming in that regard...

But Buddy's important to the world was clear.... Obviously important. But Buddy is a child and so when Brad has a realization/assumption over what will happen the player can side with him. When i played i was immediately like, oh god, oh jesus. Of course I wanted Brad to save her... what I saw in their life of Brad keeping her inside didn't seem wrong, not exactly.

But there was a change of mindset towards the end of the game. Thats where that good intent falters. And you look back and question things... you kind of realize why Buddy acted how she did, and how she has been able to defend herself.

But the biggest notice to me is the lack of Buddy talking about anything the men implied they did to her. When you explore you hear them say vulgar things, then you get the to the Hairspray guys (whatever theyre called) and you hear what they're saying about having her in a back room for men to take turns on her and thats the first "oh god" moment. You of course find a man in her place, but still implied that she was in fact here and escaped. So, the implication still remains... You haven't seen Buddy at this point so you dont know what she'd say.

But when you do-- that is when she brings up Sticky. And yet again, the implications make it sound like Sticky raped her to 'teach' her about sex. But buddy seems to describe it vaguely after Brad gets mad about it. To continue this furthers and more quickly-- other instances of abuse/violence/assault on Buddy that are show or mentioned are Buzzo cutting off her nipple (shown), the mutilation of her face (shown), and at the start of Joyful the comment that one of Rando's 'friends' tried to touch/assault/rape her when she was tied up (off screen). That last one, Buddy again brushes off and doesnt say much.

So what do i say this all for. Well, the question is "how much of this actually happened to buddy?" We saw some on screen violence. But rape, assault, molestation? She doesnt say it exactly... but I think any survivors or those familiar would know full well that that doesnt mean it didnt happen. I think its completely wrong to assume nothing could have happened. lets break down the things that occurred from Buddy's end/how she acts, and some other details

Brad has already closed her off and isolated her. she doesnt know like, anything. she probably doesnt understand at all what sex would be and what would be bad (much like many csa victiums!)-- especially if Sticky did it, someone she trusts.

She shuts down when she starts to tells Brad, not exactly because she doesnt want to tell him- rather because he starts to get mad. Buddy knows that is a scary reaction from the past and probably ties that all into the anger Brad had towards her wanting to learn and explore (something she felt Sticky did)

overall, Buddy wants to use this opportunity to explore and see and learn and most of all, not be with Brad. she doesnt want to talk to him or share with him anything because she knows what hes like.

and ultimately... victims often dont tell people. maybe they dont know how. maybe they dont realize its abuse (again, common for children who dont know a lot). and for buddy too, she doesnt trust the one person who wants to make sure she is safe from all of it.

to go on the statements Buddy and others make regarding these events- i think it would be odd for all of those men to be lying. especially sudden moments like the start of Joyful (especially when the guys said they killed the other for what he tried to do). The Sticky instance was stated by Buddy in a vague way herself which is reliable. there was enough shown violence, attraction, and ability to contain her for moments that it just doesnt seem right to think theyd be lying too, like the Hair guys.

In the end you have two important things to think about: Buddy does not trust Brad anymore. She won't tell him anything. And the men like bragging. They loved talking about her. With the evidence we had about when she had been capture her, this doesnt look like lying from them- they were proud to have potentially having her for good.

In this story the men mean a LOT. they imply so much. and after the secret boss fight? I realized they mean so much more.

How all the men mean something.

The secret fight with Marty showed how deeply ingrain he is in Brad's mind. I expressed a LOT more about that in this post from last night. But the main thing to gather for this topic is how a lot of that mindset is defended by Marty as "this is how men should be".

Masculinity. Power. Control. Dominance. He expected the same from Brad and failing to do so meant he was weak, unworthy, pathetic, unmanly... While Brad escaped and desperately didn't want to be like him, he did what Marty did to Dusty and he abused drugs, etc. For Brad, he cannot shake the guilt that he will be the abuser his father was.

What does this have to do with the world of Olathe being full of men? Oh it has so much to do with the story. The implications... Olathe is full of men. They have formed groups who fight each other and are quite horribly violent at times. Masculinity is undeniably at its peak, and directs much of their culture....

You see how masculinity plays a huge role? No not every man alive here is horrible and abusive. But the point is that masculinity drives them, and more often than not its an "excuse" to living the way they do. Be tough, hold your ground, don't let anyone make you weaker than them. If you're weak and you can't stand up, you will face consequences for it. Toughen up.

The sense of power and dominance these men have in this world became WAY more obvious when Buddy comes up. They are scrambling to find her and their dynamics become incredibly violent and push these aspects of masculinity to the worst of it. Marty's mindset is the worst of the twisted idea of how to assert authority, and how to treat someone weaker than you. You can do as you want. You can beat them or rape them. The culture that Olathe created for these men made them fall into this warped mindset much like the one Marty promoted. These guys knew Buddy was a weak little child. They wanted to use her and do as they pleased. They could they could because they were bigger, powerful, etc.

Their words and wishes are basically as disgusting as the things Marty would say. I think thats enough to solidify that connection.

Lisa has an incredibly interesting narrative on how a Victim is viewed from the outside. How abuse effects further abuse- the distrust of child to guardian in telling them when something bad has happened and the inability to save them due to it. And from the inside, how masculinity through trauma can warp your mind. How the influence of a man towards man, feeds into a cycle of abuse and the world where that masculine culture is ingrained in everyone no matter how deeply they act on it.

cycles. "you cant escape". everything things about it seems utterly hopeless but the game still pushes you towards something-- it makes you want to crawl towards the light that Brad struggles to reach. but this was never an easy process. your action created consequences you never wanted to happen in the first place. your intentions were selfish- you didnt learn, you didnt understand how actually fix this. it was a desperate attempt.

but by god you want to change it so bad. isnt that something? internally you gotta keep holding on to it. jesus christ, dont let go, or itll be all for nothing. you are not fated to be your abuser. you are not fated to never escape. you have to remember that. you must face all of this but you have to fucking rip apart the guilt and the anger and the sadness to get there first. maybe this wasnt the way to do it. but please dont give up, okay? thats what its all about.

[1tsjusty0u]

another quastion. how does zelda feel about the castle. pre and post calamity. have people gone into the castle after the calamity and could she sense them/how does her telepathy work/what can she see if anything

HM!!!

ok so. this had me rethink a Lot about my zelda because. trying to tie her into the story and/or give her thematically relevant motives/problems is Specifically Hard with the theme i chose (if you can even call it a theme). and also i had to go over what she would actually think in her situation and it. not really tying into how she thought of it beforehand. im still going over it honestly and canon botw makes this so much harder why did they Do That…. this especially complicates her father and hers relationship at least from normal fandom standards but at the very least i can deal with that

castle time ok!!! pre cal its mostly just her house. one that has stupid rules sometimes but otherwise shes doing pretty great!!! the sheikah tech are extremely abundant near the castle, both seen in the memories (including the champions dlc memory) but also makes sense given where the sheikah tech was buried to begin with. her relationship with her father gets. More Strained as time goes on. to be clear he does care for her and the whole reason he bans her from the tech in a memory is so she can prove to everyone how she isnt a failure. the problem with that though is that he prohibits her only real solution to her powers, the one tangible thing that Can stop the calamity. id also feel like at he end of conversations he would ask about her training which could lead to arguments. shes still able to infodump things to him (only really more towards the beginning though), which he takes more to heart once hes dead. and he kind of has to unban her from the sheikah tech at one point, nearing the calamitys arrival. it leads to a Hell of an argument from both of them because he Wants to keep her banned or grounded more than ever before, but well. circumstances have changed. but back on topic castle wise everythings chill. most of the knights or soldiers cant go into the castle having like. 2 rooms where they are allowed, and the guards are just like maids and such to her. theyre there and they dont intrude Too Much. gestures to the post she doesnt want to Not be a princess she doesnt want to be a Failure of a princess, and the castle doesnt really remind her much of that. her room might..? but theres no signs to that when you go into it when its broken and such. there isnt even a goddess statue in there. so. yeah! i may add that? BUT ANYWAYS.

post cal!!! mixed feelings. on one hand? Anger. anger that the calamity revived There, angry that it came early when she was so close, angry that the payoff she hoped for never came and she had to do all of that only for the castle to get destroyed and 100 years to pass and her friends to die. she doesnt think she did it for nothing, but shes Close to thinking that just by proxy of how events happened. she needs to go in there eventually to retrieve Her Stuff (plushies, printed photos that werent taken by purah, diagrams, books etc) and it just. messes a bit with her how everything is destroyed and how the grass and trees are all dead from malice and guardians. if she rebuilt the monarchy she’d likely leave the old castle in ruins, building another one in a different location, leaving the old one as a monument of sorts to What Happened. she wouldnt view everything as her or links failure she’d just view it as a stupid stupid moment that didnt have to happen but did anyways. especially because she Has Her Powers Now. she got to the springs she has her powers shes a Princess. she didnt fail at what she was supposed to do, its just her monarchy is a failure rather than her if that makes sense??????????? she has no place to Be a princess after she spent so long trying to be one. an ending that wasnt worth it. so the castle is generally unpleasant to be around. shes upset about everything being destroyed but also pretty mad about it. she keeps it there more to hurt herself than anything else. she thinks its a reminder and in part it is its just not a useful reminder of any kind . not to say the monarchy was good mind you just the circumstances in which it got destroyed, Especially For Her, werent great!

people have gone into the castle after the calamity!! or at least before link wakes up but during when zelda is still fending ganon off. that mostly aligns with canon surprisingly as npcs can tell you how they Used to be able to get into the castle for gear but now theres monsters all over the place. i think that ganons malice was still there and the cocoon was also still there he just was less actively fending off the castle because there was no need. priorities 🔥🔥🔥. i..! think she could sense them, but not really realize it was them for lack of a better word. like she knew someone was in the castle but she either was A not able to focus on it too much or at all or B could focus on it but had no idea What It Was. like it couldve just been a feeling when someone was in the castle but she’d have no idea thats what that feeling came from if that makes sense. once link wakes up shes able to focus on other things more outwardly but still focuses more on ganon. her telepathy i think works based on ganon and sheikah tech alerts :] like for example theres apparently a control unit for the towers underneath the castle. if ganon was using that accidentally then zelda would also have a tie to that just by proxy of being eaten by him. its like. she could visually see or audibly hear something change, and that goes for when the divine beasts yell when you come near them and she warns you of them if you havent talked to impa or when ganon yells when you come to the castle. she was able to wake you up to do the shrine of resurrection letting out an alert of some kind. how it works or even if its connected to the castle at all i dont know though. maybe a hivemind or a message system like the divine beasts? where the shr actually the shrine of resurrection Is Technically a divine beast so it could absolutely have a messaging/alert system. how it gets to the castle i have no idea. either the castle is also a divine beast or theres a main control unit under there. or the alerts from the SoR get broadcasted across the main tech that needs it, though i dont know why theyd do that… but the tower is more straightforward thats connected to the castle. the five minutes after playing she just has no idea what links doing and tells him to head there out of necessity . the divine beasts yells are just Loud and more loud to her specifically because ganon has a hand in that. ganon yelling is self explanatory. how shes able to talk to link telepathically to begin with ? no clue. it probably has something to do with whatever her powers are or how zeldas of the past were able to use telepathy, but its more likely just a result of her powers. i think she more or less found out via ganon though. either he can also do that or she just. kind of Had To after being eaten.

for what she sees….! thats tough. i saw a comic once that had zelda be able to see through hylia statues, which is cool however thats kind of bogging her down to being hylia 2.0 which. she isnt. and also considering her Issues with hylia i almost feels mean. she Could be able to see through the divine beasts possibly ? whether im doing that is up for debate though. Though it could make for some accidental horror? like having a divine beast constantly Facing Your Direction no matter how far away you are, or when its moving in a circle it suddenly just doesnt turn and either stands and stares at you or goes towards your direction. horrifying and i dont think zelda would be able to do that (more looking through them rather than controlling them) but i like divine beast horror. anyways considering the divine beasts have consciousness? i dont know if she’d be able to. do that. like hijack it just to see whats happening

inside ganon she can actually see things.! not from the outside mind you but its not just pitch black. whether its a different world, pure malice, just sheikah tech, is up to debate. or up to how i design it honestly i need to figure . that out. but yeag. i shall draw it once i have an idea of it

also please note how she feels about the castle is . Subject To Change. i feel like a conspiracy theorist trying to make her work here. but for now!!!!! yeah!!!!!! im going to try to expand her when i expand the champions. or when i decide how the relationships are going to work and what works better . 👍

[bloomskullberry]

Ok you know what i just gotta write out my feelings on the new Miraculous movie. I have both good and bad things to say. I will be rewatching it cause i was pretty biased (we'll get to that) and maybe reposting this with my new thoughts afterwards cause this is a lot.

THUS: READ MORE AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION and understand that most of this is based on personal perception, preferences, and an element of nostalgia/frustration (ive been watching this show since season one, would not have made it this far if I didnt have FEELINGS about Miraculous). but take everything with a sprinkle of salt.

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS ABOUT THE NEW MIRACULOUS MOVIE UNDER THE CUT

1. Pacing felt like the biggest issue. A lot of stuff was happening, and a lot of big moments were happening, but there was nothing inbetween that made them feel like they flowed into eachother, and a lot of the character/relationship "development" relied on the viewers previous knowledge of the show, even tho its pretty clear the movie was doing stuff very differently in terms of characters and relationships. Do i understand this is a 1hr 40min movie trying to encapsulate the slowburn romance and 5 seasons worth of content in a way that caters to the fans of said 5 seasons? Yes, its a huge ask for what is essentially 5 episodes (average 20 mins long). Especially with the amount of exposition the concept of Miraculous requires. Is it still disappointing, considering the movie left out information because of its audience and still rushed through important stuff to just get to the "juicy" moments? Yeah

2. Visuals were lovely, as was the music and specific moments. Honestly if the pacing wasnt such an issue and everything was developed more, the Ladybug and Ladynoir songs (maybe even the Hawkmoth one too) would be really enjoyable as a way to progress stuff and show development. Im also a sucker for dramatic visuals during musical numbers to help emphasize the feelings/emotions of the characters, and it really showcases the potential benefits the animation could add to the show as a medium

3. I actually really liked movie!Marinette (partly cause she wasnt a stalker and creep about her crush on Adrien) qnd because she had a much more sarcastic and bantering attitude, even outside of the costume, which made Ladybug an alter ego more than a complete other person (which is a slight issue ive had with the show). The scene of her growing into her civilian persona and becomign more confident actually made me really happy, especially her standing up to Chloe

4. Movie!Chat Noir kinda pissed me off ngl, and felt very disconnected from movie!Adrien (or at least how he was shown). People have said movie!Adrien is much more depressed/isolated and acts appropriately as to his home life (and dont get me wrong, i loved his scene where he stood up to Gabriel), but i think thats why his relationship with Ladybug and complete 180 as Chat Noir feels so off to me? Like his almost "meanness" with Ladybug at first from being super cocky and then doesnt even apologize for his treatment of her even after he falls for her just throws me off (tbf ive always been biased against the "cocky assholes falling for people who put them in their place" trope, so this might just be a me thing). Idk, it just doesnt sit right with me

4b. Anyone else notice Adrien didnt even get chosen for being kind? Plagg just appeared in his bedroom? Like Marinette almost got ran over from saving Master Fu and then Adrien is just like Yo A Cool Ring. Idk, its funny but that felt weird to me

5. The stupid freaking montage. Yall cannot even imagine how much I hate the montage. If they had replaced the montage with one scene and maybe cut down the magician and mime fight to add another scene in to focus on marinette + adrien friendship and then adrien personal life development or chat noir + ladybug bonding/respect for EACH OTHER i think it would have elevated the movie to new heights. The montage essentially was the movie pressing fast forward x3 on any development of characters. Its because of montages like these that make me appreciate filler or fun episodes in any show, because when you just stick a montage in then you feel like youre watching coworkers kiss when the movie is trying to convince you theyre starcrossed ride or die lovers. Made me feel like i watched the origins episode and then the season 5 finale with just the stormy weather 2 episode inbetween. Hate it.

6. Movie!Tikki has personality and movie!Plagg is a fart machine. I think its clear theres a favorite. Feels like it reflects the focus on Marinette and lack thereof on Adrien as a character present in both the show and the movie. Hardly a new observation, just food for thought.

7. ¿¿¿¿¿¿movie!Hawkmoth/Gabriel???? That basically sums up how I feel about him but to explain theres just very little done with him i feel. Plus it seems like all his Hawkmothing around actually takes a toll on his wellbeing, which is really cool and interesting, but it just comes out of nowhere afTER THE STUPID MONTAGE. Like id love to see the kind of degradation of his health, mental physical and emotional, as he works to revive Emilie, cause you cant tell me thay wouldnt make stuff a lot more interesting (i know he got catacylsmed but the show just treated it as an outfit change and checking his arm like a clock until the season finale, so it doesnt really count for me), but mans just shows up looking like a wreck and fights with Adrien

7b. Also i was pretty confused about how him breaking/rejecting his akuma at the end of the movie worked, and him just having all the powers ever while akumatized?? But that's just me being picky at a superhero show where magic animal jewelry exists

8. Movie!Chloe and movie!Sabrina felt more real in a way? Like Chloe was just stuck up and self centered, not actively making everyones life hell, and Sabrina didnt just blindly follow her along (i ADORED when she let Marinette escape and when she shrugged at her during the ball, you go girl you have that personality and self-consciousness the show never allowed you to have until the last moment), it was more a reluctant follower ignoring a friend's red flags ya know? Movie!Chloe wasnt the mayors daughter who had control over every adult in Paris and would literally become a dictator if elected. She was just freaking out at Marinette for "ruining" her sweater. Shes still a bully/mean kid, but shes dialed back, which i think makes her much better.

9. Alya and Nino were just kind of chilling, i dont have any feelings about their characters except how terrible Nino is at advice, and Alya was set up as a good friend throughout the movie, so i appreciate her supportiveness of Marinette. Tom and Sabine were set up to do more/be more important in the movie (I was so sure Tom was gonna be akumatized at the fair, but nope), but were kind of dropped halfway? Like Tom was set up as the overprotective and loving kinda helicopter father who would go all the way to the fair in disguise to watch over Marinette, and then he was just never mentioned again after Marinette felt embarrassed by him at said fair. Wasted opportunity and time for a movie with so much issue in pacing

10. I saw buggachat say this movie felt like an animated fanfiction of MLB and I have to say i completely agree. I dont mean that in a bad way, i love fanfiction with all my heart and you can clearly see that the movie and a lot of fanfiction fixes the issues many fans have with the show. But the thing is, this is a full movie, not a collection of one-shot specific scene rewrites. Thus, for it to be successful in "rewriting" or creating an alternate version of MLB, it has to include those in-between moments, not just the juicy identity reveal, or the "my heart belongs to another " moment, or even the "Gabriel actually cares about his son" moment. Is the movie good at those moments? Goodness yes. It definitely has its humor, its enjoyment that you can tell is a gift to the fans. But as a movie, a whole animated film, it disappoints.

10b. I mean for goodness sake they didnt even mention that Catacylsm was a thing until it was used, and Lucky Charm wasnt utilzed at all, just the fixing power (that might just be a genuine change they made so Ladybug wasnt too unbalanced with Chat Noir tho)

OK IM DONE, phew. Those are my major thoughts from the day after watching the movie, and im going to watch it again more carefully later. Ill not to be so personally biased and to just enjoy it. Who knows, maybe ill think differently afterwards.

Definitely gonna listen to the songs again, and definitely gonna burst out laughing at Careless Whisper tho

[rainbowgod666]

GIRLS NIGHT IN 40K!

Celestine: look, i get it. You're solidified heresy and have to live with the fact that you entire existence is due to one too many Eldars deciding to beat their meat twice instead of once that day, isha is one of the eldar gods that you "missed". So I understand-

Slaneesh: Alex's corruption got to her.

*collective silence*

Slaneesh: (sits down... why is she shaken?)

Slaneesh: listen. I have NO IDEA what happened back at nurgle's place.

Slaneesh: i am the whisper. Temptation incarnate. Not to make a 40000 year old joke, but I am the one who knocks you were just asking. I am the fucking Quaestor. I am She. Who. Thirsts.

Slaneesh: and i wish every day i didnt even know of that door.

I need you to listen extremely carefully to what im going to say.

Isha is dead. She stopped being isha so much time ago that when Alex appeared in this universe, something snapped. Hard.

I stared her in the eyes. That deep sickness unlike anything nurgle could make, the sheer feeling of hopelessness, death and decay beyond all hopes of rebirth... all within eyes darker than black holes with only a red dot telling me that they werent empty... the worst thing was the smile- it was less the caring, motherly warmth of a fertility goddess and closer to a precise cut RESEMBLING a smile... something that struck me with ONE emotions mortals know all too well

Fear.

Slaneesh: (holds yvraines hand inbher hands) listen. When your people will finally decide to take the 5th blade, i shall give it to them personally. I am NOT living in a universe where that... sick, multi-limbed manifestation of the word mistake Mistake is infesting the warp. When i asked nurgle about isha after that, he looked at me and realized what i saw. Grandpa nurgle is not holding isha hostage, rather, hes holding her caged to avoid something closer to a servitor going insane on a galactic scale.

Slaneesh: (she is crying.) If Ynnead finally wakes up, PLEASE. Tell him about this. Tell him tot ake my power. Plead to him to save us from whatever the fuck has isha become

Slaneeah: if its still isha in there.

*everyone is flabbergasted*

Celestine: that... doesnt make any sense? Why would Alex do that? Heck, why would ANY Alex my shards do that? What could isha do for him?

Slannesh: heh. Funny you ask. When that happened, i recall one thing

Slaneesh: Alex was there, at least as a spirit. He was doing something to isha and... he stared at me, and the words were loud and clear even if he didnt say or do anything towards me: HELP ME SAVE HER.

Slaneesh: it was a fucking hallway of silent screaming. And im not gonna experience that, or subject anything to that. Whatever the fuck isha became, it made me feel like mortals usually feel in the warp, and It. Was. AWFUL.

____________________________________________

To this day, the project "mother of all monsters" is still operative. Any information of how the entity came to be can be found in universe SCP-ℵ₀ (Main SCP branch) under level 5. Additional data is stored as written books in a separate minecraft server running the 1.12.2 version. Any and all unauthorized operations in universe 40K-ℵ₀ require direct approval from The Council.