#forgive me while i go CRY
Note
Heyyy hope you are doing well!! I just finished reading all of your Sukuna fan fics and your writing is just *chef's kiss*. I loved it from beginning to end!! You use lovely imagery and describe emotions so well through physical descriptions, I can actually understand exactly what you are trying to put across!
I also had a question for you! Was wondering if it was your idea to make Sukuna his last name and to make Ryoumen his first name? Or is this something that is canon???
I always thought that Ryoumen Sukuna was just a title so idk 😭😭
Anyways thank you so much for your beautiful work 🫶🫶🫶
OMG OMG OMG ANON THIS IS SO SWEET THANK YOU SO MUCH AKSJWKAIQNWJSJAKB
i am so glad you enjoyed the series !! it was so much fun working on it !! 🥹🥹🥹 i love my man sukuna 🥰🥰
and yes !! Ryomen is his first name and since it’s custom in japanese culture, or atleast in anime, to address people by their last names until you guys become closer or more comfortable with each other everyone in jjk just calls him Sukuna ! but i get where the confusion comes in cause his name in full is rarely mentioned !!
thank you again !! i’m glad your enjoying my worksss !! 🥹🥹🥹🥹
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Marvel Meow (2021), Nao Fuji | Professor X and Magneto
Bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#professor x#magneto#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus leshnerr#snap scans#i dont scan ever please forgive me for. Everything jvAE:KJ i tried my best to match the purple as how it looks in person#i love the purple used for this whole comic .. its really nice#all the comics have different colors its neat yall should check it out if youre able. its a lovely silly collection#BUT GIRL PLEAAAASSSEE IM CRYING#as a part of my Visiting My Family For The Weekend trip my bro and i went to the store#and i told him about the wolverine cat comic and the whole collection and he found it while we were browsing ....#naturally i got it. because i love the idea of cats being heinous freaks ESPECIALLY to my faves#this all did happen because of a cat. btw. phoenix possessed one while scott and jean were baking a cake#which had everyone trying to catch it. leading to. this. jWLRAKJAWRLKJKJ#this is 1000% has 'we'll be back by 8PM please keep the house clean' vibes i'm sobbing LIKE WHERE ARE THEY RETURNING FROM#also can i just say ... i love it when american comic book characters get the manga treatment#idk i just love it ... i esp love how wolverine's drawn in these comics but. this aint about him#i just wanted to gush about my favorite old people LIKE PLEASE CHARLES IS GOING TO HAVE A STROKE I SEE IT#the fact they still got that goofy lil 'welcome back charles and erik' banner im going to be sick. theyre the whole mansions dads#anyway i have an assignment to do. because my prof hates me Who The Fuck Makes An Assignment due At 12:59AM#bye bye hpoefully ill be back with my own doodles ajvlekjla
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here's a little luna related art dump because i love my sick brother @chamom1le-t3a and everything he makes :33
i love how luna n hv tony canonically non-canonically interact X3
i am uhhh .... 70-ish % sure i haven't posted these two . if i have you can smite me tho
+ an extra doodle of @the-trash-phrog 's phos . cuz i rlly rlly love their design :333
★ [they're listening to this huehehe :3]
#the second drawing is like a couple weeks old okay#pls don't kill me#also I FORGOT TO DRAW PHOS' WINGS !!!!! IM SORRYYY DX#speaking of . i drew them listening to that song cuz . inexplicably . whenever i listen to it i think of them#my best guess is that it's because of the cover#but hey . what do i meow#also forgive my bad handwriting . its been a while since ive written like that so it's bound to be not good ://#uhh uhh#i don't know what else to say#shrug#please don't flop please don't flop please don't flop ... !!!!#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis au#dhmis lampnold#lampnold#dhmis oc#fankids#crossover#dhmis tony#tony the talking clock#dhmis hv tony#when one feels like absolute burning trash . you 1) listen to music that makes you cry and 2) draw fanart for nice people#im still planning to fanart for some other few folks but i might finish that up in a few days#so might as well post these now#okay uhh i guess im gonna go#stay safe . drink water#bye-bye#:3
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mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW
#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again.#sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does#like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful#while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child#like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all.#imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child#only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you#his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you#agree deep down#and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept#but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide#and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke#and you discarded it and got a new one#and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow#and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it#until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly#and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different#and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child#and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da#and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand#but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs!#so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee#his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing#and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately.#but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when.#like. imagine that. jesus dude.#like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love#or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do#with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here.#but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like
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vent incoming:
got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!
#honestly it's kind of hilarious ngl. especially bc i also got my documentary work counted as an independent study the previous semester#and the previous semester even tho i barely worked on the doc itself#(mostly just planning and putting together the crowdfunding which was still a lot of work but like compare it to the past few months)#they were willing to give me an A (my school doesn't do A+ so this is the highest mark possible)#vs this semester. like i'll admit my final assignment was late and could have been more polished#but i was literally on tour in documentary-mode 24/7 for several weeks. i filmed an entire comedy special! i put together a live interview!#not to mention having to fucking negotiate with my own college censoring the footage they'd promised me of an event i put together#and play nice with a professor who literally outed me on twitter in an attempt to cancel one of my best friends#at this point the ''B'' feels more like a petty grudge than anything else#like ok we can't get away with *actually* fucking over jessamine's grades bc clearly ze did do the work. but let's just give zir a B#like i will admit the audio quality in my final isn't great. and i could have used more polished footage in some sections#but counterpoint: 100+ students were arrested at a protest while i was editing and i was having a mental breakdown#the fact that i finished *anything* is goddamn impressive especially after they essentially conditioned me to hate myself any time i was#working on a project i loved!!!#due to the aforementioned student arrests my college did put out an option where we could change any letter grade this semester to pass/fai#so anything passing wouldn't impact our gpa if we didn't want it to. so i could just change the B to a ''pass''#but really what's the point. ''B'' is still a good grade and my GPA is fine (3.65 on a 4.0 grading scale. 2.0 is required to graduate)#it just sucks that after what i went through last semester i feel like nobody takes it seriously#i was reminiscing earlier about how it's honestly kind of funny how after that professor outed me on twitter#i was at the hotel with scott like an hour later sobbing and having an existential crisis about my relationship to gender#and scott was so supportive but also awkwardly being like#''i know i should offer the crying child a tissue but where the fuck are the tissues in this room what do i do''#and he just handed me a full-on towel instead like oh my god he was trying his best but also so clearly out of his depth#but of course i then had to remember how when i told that story to a different professor to be like ''this is how much scott cares about me#this guy called me fucking UNPROFESSIONAL for crying in front of the subject of my documentary?????????#like yeah maybe so but how DARE you call me unprofessional when a different professor tweeted my full name and gender without my consent#in an attempt to fucking cancel one of my friends for ''misgendering'' me for using pronouns i'm fine with him using!!!#i don't think i'm ever going to be able to forgive my college and i don't know how i'll be able to get through one more semester#that experience genuinely changed things about my psychology that i'm not proud of and i need to work through#so if i have to miss a goddamn kids in the hall event because i have class this november i am going to set something on fire
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Thinking about the fact that Knives loved western movies as a kid and liked the idea of gunslingers and how after the crash he took the gun from a man he killed and gave it to vash, not only because he wanted his brother to protect himself and join him in killing humans, but because he thought gunslingers were cool. He gave Vash a gun cause he thought having his brother be a gunslinger on a desert planet would be cool. Just like a western movie.
Im dying
#trigun stampede#millions knives#vash the stampede#im just gonna go lie on the floor and cry for a while again#kni at the ripe old age of maybe 7 years old:#my names going to be millions knives#and my brother is going to be a cool gunslinger#and were going to protect our people and kill all of humanity!#im sobbing#on one hand i can see why vash would still so readily forgive him despite the things hes done that alot of ppl would find irredeemable#but also. kni has already been so blindingly consumed by his fear fuled rage#that hes come full circle and doesnt realize hes committed the very same acts he condemns humans for doing to plants#on the very people he was trying to protect#his brother and all the remaining dependent plants#and i personally think the way he went about it was so much more unforgivable and horrific#cause what the ever loving FUCK that was in episode 11 makes me want to puke#and in the beginning of episode 12 i actually almost did#i didnt mean to start ranting in the tags i just have FEELINGS#trigun stampede spoilers
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(( aw, seeing people talk about their introductions to ff7 and their feelings on it is sweet, I think, and there's no such thing as a true or false fan. Whether crisis core is your fave, og, remake or before crisis for all u mobile gamers (and dirge ofc for all you FPS fans) - it's totally fine to not play / see all of one medium and still love it. ❤️
I grew up with the og being a huge part of my life, from both a nostalgic view and general favourite games kinda view, it's something I love for many reasons but like all of the series' games, it isn't without critique and that's fine. For me, I don't judge whether someone's played og, remake, BC, cc, doc, watched ac, read every book and been personally to the creators brains to munch on their lore - the main thing is that we all love ffvii and enjoy it's world building.
That's sweet and what's sweeter is seeing talented rpers take the characters and give them so much love and additional nuance, as well as add their own characters to the universe. It's cool and awesome and everyone should be welcome and be having fun with it,
personally, when I get ffvii rebirth - I will cum 😬 ))
#i was seieng peeps posts about this#im exhausted so they may have been days ago tumvlr keeps defaulting to the for you tag#but like - yeah#there are things i love and hate about remake but one thing i love is that it got people into the world of ff#and its lovely like bonding w/ peeps over that#now forgive me while i go back to crying iver my ear and lack of heidegger so far 😰#(ooc)#(tbd)
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It's a nonverbal day for me I guess :)
#Vent? Yeah#I like how im told things last minute when I should be the first or second to know#And then when it is in fact the last minute I'm getting yelled at to clean up areas that are in fact not my room :)#When i say i dont wanna im called lazy#When someone else who shall not be named says they don't want to they're defended because “they do everything”#No they help deep clean once a fucking week#And help with dinner#Last i checked it was in fact me#But that doesnt matter at this point#Now they get to enjoy their day and play games while I have to sit in my room so I don't cry in front of anyone and get called a crybaby :)#Im more frustrated that they know im going to forgive them so they don't apologize to me because I'll forget about all of this like usual :
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gimme a minute to cook over this bnha verse and then i'll get cracking on some starters B))
#chiyo's getting an upgrade bc years ago i went 'ooh chameleons have iridophore cells? neat!' but guess who's even better#at camouflage!! octopi and the like!! like they can change the texture of their skin and have other cells that help them blend in#maybe i'll give her a venomous bite bc didja know octopi are also very venomous and basically a bite could kill you asdfg#though i'll just make chiyo's bite paralyzing?? probably?? like go get it treated but you probably won't die??#anyway!!!#might do a sort of bare bones write up for this verse while i catch up on the series bc boy the last thing i remember is the kids#being put in the dorms?? i think after the lil kidnapping incident#i think i was on the verge of them meeting the upperclassmen and training for their licenses??? i dunno for sure#but i gotta decide if i'm gonna read or watch it first... probably read bc watching will take me much longer tbh#gonna hyperfocus so hard on superhero stuff i feel it coming y'all#forgive me for the person i'm about to become ( regular ol' bel but she's crying over superheroes again )#get ready to ramble | ooc
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Wearing shorts to work…
#and it’s supposed to rain later on today I’m still clocking that time on my check regardless since the weather is not on me#rambling#so tired I didn’t get much sleep at all#my fault for staying up watching jjk and playing Arknights#and I got on the phone with my friend who was already at work since she’d had an incident where a white resident hit her#and I was pissed#I hope they get kicked out#I knew a lot of these ppl were racist#all of the concierges are black and there’s one Hispanic girl#and all of the sanitation workers and maintenance are Hispanic#who can’t speak English that well#while 90% of the residents are white ppl with money because that rent is not cheap#like you can tell when they just look at you like you don’t belong lol#now you go white mfs slapping my black friend at work#white his gf laughs in the bg about it like it’s some funny inside joke#only to start begging for forgiveness and crying when the manager and threats of the police are involved
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#edel vents#disclaimer: really personal issues in the tags. also wishes of death upon others. this is PROBABLY too much information tbh...#so if you're not up for it scroll down fast!!!! the deluge is coming!!!#today was... eventful. bad. also very bad. grandma's birthday celebration was today#and while she... definitely has Old People Issues (racist) shes also very lonely since the death of my grandfather so i can't really not go#i'm the only one who really visits her regularly to begin with#aside from the... very serious racism issue... she's “alright”. i guess. but that's besides the point. there's family there#and among those... my parents. which i don't like to talk to#discovered they threw more of my old stuff away. typical. wanted to strangle them. as usual.#had to “talk” with my mother (read: spend approximately ten seconds reciting exactly why i *don't* talk to her anymore)#so that whole ordeal completely soured my mood.#went home tired. can't really do anything right now.#at least the food was good i guess. but i also really want to cry... which i can't. which sucks.#...i really like to think i've improved as a person. i used to be really hateful of everything and everyone#worst of all myself. still kinda do but i'm... getting better..?#i like to think i've grown past most of it but every time i see my parents i feel this gripping at my heart. as if i haven't really changed#as if instead i'm still the hateful person i “always was” deep down... bc there's this visceral joy that i feel whenever i'm mad at them.#when i looked at my mother and told her how much i despise her i felt a shiver of happiness. righteousness.#to be clear: i do NOT care for her. at all. she's the worst person on this earth#and the only person whom my philosophy of “nobody deserves to die” does NOT apply to. i'm not scared of hating her.#she genuinely deserves this. but...every time i see my parents - and thus her... i feel as if i'm slipping back into that mindset of hatred#i don't want that. not anymore. it consumed me whole. i was a horrible person back then and i've caused so much grief for so many#i can't let go of this hatred. i can't forgive them. they don't deserve my forgiveness anyway. but i'm tired of hating.#i'm tired of letting that hatred define me. i'm tired of letting that hatred direct me. i'm tired of letting it bring me to ruin.#i'm tired of being who i was. i'm no longer “that”. i'm edel now and i'm happy for people now. if i don't like something i just walk out.#i can just leave. “if it sucks hit the bricks” right?.. but i didn't. i had to say it. i had to tell them. her. and i liked it.#and... i'm scared of that. because it tells me i haven't improved.#i'm not sure what i'm expecting out of posting this i guess. maybe help. maybe i wanna be told that this is normal or something.#maybe i just want to get my thoughts in order. i don't know. i'm gonna stop writing now.#sorry for making you read all this. thanks for doing it anyway. tags were cut off on this one btw so it may look like a mess. but. yeah.
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and when my father dies, will i be relieved or will the endless guilt be heavier
#i've always wondered what may happen if my father dies. when he does#and now that situation is more imminent than ever. he's sick but idk to what degree#and i've always wondered. what could happen#will i know. will i have to face everyone again. would i ever go visit him#i don't think much will change bcs he's not even present in my life and he contacts me three times a year lol#will i cry. will i grief#i already grief my father while he's still alive. i already gried everything he's not. everything he has never been and everything he never#will be#when he dies will i be able to forgive him#jo.txt#lmk if i need to tag this btw
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I hate that I'm being made responsible for coping with and "forgiving" abusive behavior just to protect myself.
I'm tired of being fucking "understanding". I'm tired of my survival being dependent on how much I'm able to take. I'm tired of being treated like dog shit for no reason.
#''you need to work things out!!!1'' eat shit and die#what really enrages me about all of this is i'm literally always the one that's actually calm and civil and respectful#but im not gonna sit there and do nothing while you're cussing at me and slamming doors and acting like a fucking aggressive toddler#and coming from a GROWN MAN???#especially when they're manipulative enough to cry and get in your face blubbering about how sorry they are#just to throw an absolute fit when you want them to fuck off and leave you alone#even though i didnt even say it with like an attitude or anything lmao#but when that degenerate freak sends me into a meltdown#*I* am the one that has to forgive the piece of shit???#''he had a bad day!'' clearly not bad enough!!#He's literally been the primary source of my problems with my mother#and he's a piece of shit to her too#but god forbid i actually say that lmfao#abuse tw#I might delete this later I just needed to get this off my chest#I fucking hate being disabled I wish I were able to be independent#I wish I didn't need care from other people#I wish I had the luxury of being able to go no contact#I'd have multiple restraining orders against multiple people if that were an option lmfao
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Self shipping is always the morally correct thing to do
#Listen to my problems#sometimes self shipping includes the slow and painful process of getting killed over amd over by your f/o thats okay youll get him#eventually. orrr herrrrr (motivational speaker voice).#let me think hm theres been three guys ive loved enough to be this crazy over. self shipping is always correct#if youre not self shipping thats okay but if you want to you should you should draw yourself vivisecting him while hes squealin and giggling#you should write about the two of you biting eavh other until you hit bone you should literally kill him with a knife and them cry over the#body and then bring him back to life and do it again just so you can cry over the body again#you have to grip him by the shoulders and spit in his fave and use all the things he trusted you with against him and you have to make him#hate you you have to make him unable to forgive you then you have to make him forgive you then you have to apologise to him#and then. ohh and then you hit him with all that shit again but make sure you quick save before that because he might not forgive you again#you need to make him swallow pennies before getting into the mri machine and you need yo tell him that itll be okay smd you both know hes#going to explode but he does it anyway because he knows youre going to bring him back and he fucking loves it he wants to do it#oh he doesnt just love it hes addicted to it he wants it to happen and youll make it happen for him youll force it to happen even if hes#begging you not to do it again you can make him do anything you want. you can make him hate you if you want. if thats what he likes. you can#do it for him and you can do it for yourself and you can do it even if you both dont want it to happen you can make him get on his knees and#beg and then you can do it anyway and you can make him so angry that he hurts you right back and you can let him end it and after that you#can do it all over again if you really wanted to ... anyway you self ship to scratch an itch i self ship to scratch an itch everybody wants#different things out of the fiction they consume .. we should get more character reacts when you say youre pregnant but kiryu would be like#um. (blushes) wait is it mine ? <- and you can tell him anything and he’d have to believe it#god i need to go to bed ... wish i was playing yakuza rn ......
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Bro what do you mean endori is only 4 events from the graduation event. Stop it stop it Now
#rat rambles#band posting#bro theyre on the yukiran event rn with crying ran its so jover#yall arent allowed to be catching up thats illegal#well ok saying theyre catching up is egagerating a bit but still thats so scary#I only noticed this because Ive been thinking abt yukiran again because I alas love them still and I found out thats the current event in en#bro once mygo is in en thats rly when its going to be jover#and you know if endori does succeed in catching up one day theyll be in shambles immediately afterwards#although who knows I havent been keeping up with endori so maybe its miraculously become a functional english server again#like idk endori has never been perfect but at least its almost always been more usable than ensekai lol#bro the song list ui alone is enough to make me wanna beg ensekai players to delete it#its ridiculously ugly and unprofessional and also I hate a lot of the english names for songs (~close to grey~ is the big one for me)#also just in general ensekai is incredibly ugly and unstable even by sekai standards and it has done nothing to earn my trust in any regard#like idk if you care at all abt the actual rhythm game part of it I see no reason to not get the japanese version#like I get wanting to have a convienent place to read all the stories translated (even if I do Not trust the translators)#but like even with bndori which I started and played on endori for well over a year I still ended up drifting to jpdori as my main#the massively expanded songlist and up to date events just seem impossible to give up to me if you know how to access them#like ofc I wont go yelling at ppl to play on jp servers (plus theyd make multilives Much more unbarable) idc that much lol#but still I think if you can its a good idea to make a jp account if only so you can play jp exclusive songs if you want#this applies to both sekai and bndori to be clear although Id forgive an endori player for wanting to savor the old ui while they can lol#sekais new ui is fine but bndori's is literally sooooo ugly such a massive downgrade#also while I dont hate the new art direction as much as some ppl I definitely think its worse than the old one by a lot#its so dusty now </3#anyways I got off topic there time to stop talking
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Guess who I have to try and fucking find tomorrow after work because be fell off the FUCKING TABLE AGAIN
#its just one of my toxic springtrap minis but like-#hes alone for the whole night AND day tomorrow while im at work#but im not gonna think about it too much because ill literally start crying#its just too late into the night for me to stay up an try to get him out because i have to move so much stuff to get where he fell#hes fine hes fine hes fine hes fine he will forgive me he understands why its going to take so long its fine its fine its fine
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