#forgive me this is from 2021 I forgot

[seowoobins]

210914 & 210916: universe photoshoot - purple [woobin cut]

[angelmothergod]

all i am is all i ever was & all i ever was, was yours.

[walkingintheheartbreaksatellite]

I Want Forever

Harry Styles x fem!reader

Gif credit goes to @londonharry (So sorry! I don’t normally use gifs so I forgot to give credit!)

Summary- Harry and Y/N broke up early into Love On Tour. Harry struggled to truly move on, as did Y/N. With tour over, a lost soul shows up at Y/N’s door one night, ready for forever.

Warnings- angst, smooshiness, you may cry

>>>————————->

September 2021

“Y/N, love, please! I haven’t seen you in weeks! Can’t you take just a bit of time off to come to my next show?”

I sigh into the phone and shake my head, knowing full well he can’t see me.

“Harry, you know I can’t! I’m swamped with school! I skipped 4 assignments and took zeroes for them when I was with you last! This is my future-.”

“And what about our future?! I told you! I want a life with you! You don’t need to be working this hard! You don’t even need to work!”

I scoff and bite my lip.

“Harry, you know I won’t! My career is important! This is what I’m working so hard for! I want to work and I want to be somebody! Not just a pop star’s girlfriend! You’re always gone. If you can’t drop your career for me then you shouldn’t ask me to drop mine for you. I thought you understood that..?”

My heart breaks more and more as he sighs into the phone.

“So that’s it then? You’re just… You’re giving up on us?”

“Harry-.”

“No, no, don’t bother. We should just end it before it gets worse for either of us. I hope things work out for you, Y/N.”

He hangs up and with that, I breakdown. I cry and I cry, praying that this was just a nightmare. But I knew he was right. And without Harry… I could focus…

July 2023

It had been a long week. In fact, it had been a long few years. After the break up, I distanced myself a lot. I got off of social media and threw myself into finishing school and eventually, entered, I got my dream job.

As much as I love helping kids, the ones that are like me and the ones that struggle worse, it breaks my heart. After the break up, I got myself back into therapy to cope.

While I am no longer spiraling, the pain is still there. I never tried to get my things. I never made contact again. I just ran. I ran from everything.

After another long, emotional day of work, I stumble into my apartment and crash on my couch. After giving myself a few moments to scream my frustrations into the couch cushion, I get up and make myself a light dinner before getting some extra work done.

I park myself down at the coffee table with a glass of white wine and a frozen dinner, turning my attention to my laptop when there’s a knock at the door. I glare curiously at the door and hesitantly get up, making my way to the door.

I hesitantly open it and my mouth drops when I see who’s on the other side of the door.

“Harry…”

He looks in my eyes, his face sullen.

“Y/N…”

Before I can really think, I try to close the door but I hear a small ‘ow’ from the other side of the door. I look down and see Harry’s foot in the door. I sigh and let it go, opening it again. He looks at me and pulls his foot back.

“Can we�� Can we talk?”

I fold my arms and frown.

“We don’t have anything to talk about. Now if you’ll excuse me-.”

“Y/N, please! Just- Just hear me out!”

He steps forward and I take a step back as he backs me into my apartment and closes the door.

“There’s nothing left to say, Harry. I’ve made my peace. Obviously you have too. So you should just go-.”

He places his hands on my arms and looks into my eyes.

“Y/N, you’re all I’ve thought about since we broke up… I have missed you so.. So much, love. And I know I was horrible to you and I will never forgive myself for that. But I can’t- I need you, Y/N. I can’t take one more day without you…”

Tears well up in my eyes and I shake my head.

“You can’t just come back into my life and say that! You were the one that ended things Harry, you! I supported you through everything! And you couldn’t support me?! My career is important to me! School was important! You were important!”

I take a deep breath, trying to calm down before I continue.

“I shouldn’t have to choose between them! And you made the choice for me! And you, you moved on! Multiple times! I-.”

Harry shakes his head, tears spilling down his soft cheeks.

“That’s not true! I- I couldn’t… It was hard, Y/N! I-I made a mistake… I tried to move on but I just couldn’t.. I missed you Y/N. I miss you. And.. I just want you back. I-I know I don’t deserve you, even after all I’ve done… But I just can’t let you go. I refuse to let you go without a fight.”

Before I can say anything, Harry moves to his knees and he takes me hands, forcing me to look down at him.

“Harry-.”

He pulls out a ring box, his hands shaking as tears continue to spill down his cheeks.

“Just.. Hear me out. The last two years, I have done nothing but berate myself for chasing you away. No matter how I tried to move on, you were always on my mind. 3 years. You were with me from the start. And I wasn’t there for you like I should’ve been-.”

I attempt to pull him up and he shakes his head.

“Just wait. Please just let me finish… I made a mistake Y/N… But I don’t want to make another… Please… Y/N L/N… Will you marry me? Will you let be make it up to you? I will spend the rest of my life making sure you never feel like you have to choose. I’ll support you and I’ll-.”

I begin to cry and I drop to my knees as I sob. Harry drops the ring box and takes my cheeks in his hands, wiping my tears away with his thumb as he makes me look at him. His expression softens though his eyes remain teary, and he gives me a small smile.

“I am so, so sorry my love. I will spend every day making sure you know just how much I love you. And I know have a lot to make up for but please.”

I sigh and close my eyes for a minute. I take a deep breath before opening them again.

“Yes… I’ll marry you, Harry.”

His eyes light up and he opens his mouth to speak but I place my finger on his lips, stopping him.

“But I have a few conditions. These past couple years haven’t been easy. For the first few months… I couldn’t stand even hearing your name-… I want to go to therapy. You and me. Couples counseling. And- I want to take some time to heal… You coming back is putting salt in old wounds.”

He lets go of my cheeks and looks down, his sides dropping. I sigh and despite my better judgment, I wrap my arms around his neck and I kiss him. His eyes widen for a moment before he sinks into the kiss, deepening it. After a minute or so, I pull away and Harry looks into my eyes.

“I want you to listen to me, okay?”

He’s quiet for a second before he nods, gesturing me to continue.

“You made a mistake. And you’re owning up to it. I want to be with you Harry, I do. But I think we need to spend some time working through things together before we tie the not.”

He’s quiet for a moment before I hear him grab something off the floor.

“So… Does that mean you don’t want to wear the ring yet?”

I let out a small snort and shake my head. I pull away from him and hold my right hand out to him.

“No, gimmie that! I had been waiting for that! But it does mean that you’ll have to wait a little longer before you can marry me.”

He smiles and slips the ring on my finger and picks me up, twirling me around in his arms as I laugh.

It won’t be easy, but I want forever, and I want it with him.

>>>—————->

I hope you enjoyed lovelies! I would definitely be open to writing more for them!!! Requests are closed for now, until I catch up, but I will let you know when they’re open again!

Tag List

@be-with-me-so-happily @swiftmendeshoran @babyiamperfectforyou @freedomfireflies @kaminokatie @harrysmimi @violetsandfluff @fruitmans @fruitmansrecs @strwbrrydaydreams @rafaaoli @kimmi-kat @erggggggggg

[kohakutouwoah]

LINDSAY ON YOUR COMPUTER‼️

That's right, Lindsay from hit show Total Drama on your pc.

*Video is outdated, you can get Lindsay on your Mac!

How to download:

You need Java for this, btw!

Windows:

Download the original Shimeji: https://kilkakon.com/shimeji/

Add this file to the img folder: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1kQJNGMfeN5xeF-37AGYlxH6U38idUa1s?usp=sharing

*You need to have the original shimeji or else the code will break. You can disable them in the hidden icons! (Right click on the icon, click choose shimeji, then uncheck the default.)

OR

Download this Zip file (Includes Noah, Tyler, and Alejandro!): https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1KhKLHRxMz6uLoqhfOuk3LE_Ix56O3mgR?usp=sharing

Mac:

Download the port for mac: https://www.deviantart.com/lavendersnek/art/Shimeji-for-macOS-2021-ver-896442701

Follow the instructions here: https://github.com/LavenderSnek/ShimejiEE-cross-platform/releases

3. Any time it says the computer doesn't allow for it, then go to privacy and security, then close the window, then when the file it says you can't run pops up press allow for being able to run it, repeat process until it says won't run, then restart computer

4. Add this file to the img folder: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1kQJNGMfeN5xeF-37AGYlxH6U38idUa1s?usp=sharing

*You can delete all the default shimejis and just have Lindsay!

Again, this isn't actually a virus, lol. The most they can do is throw your screens around and windows users can disable that (Not sure about Mac, but I think they can't. RIP)

Here are some screenshots of Lindsay!

Bonus picture of Lindsay AND Noah. (Coming VERY soon! Like. Tomorrow soon.)

*THANK YOU PERP for telling me I forgot to say some stuff!! Spent three days straight making Lindsay forgive me </3

*Noah IS COMPLETED! Get a Schemer on your PC!

*Get your Lindsay a boyfriend too! Um. What was his name again?

[ruiniel]

Please ignore the previous ask! Forgot to add the details, sorry about that!

Menstruation kink with Jealous! Possessive!Alucard and a female reader, with a healthy dose of blood drinking if you know what I mean 👀

Welcome and I mentioned on another day that I was feeling emotional, so this turned out a hurt/comfort piece rather... wanted to explore something here. And even with all the Alucard-centered smut written so far, sometimes I find that self-restraint is hotter. 🖤

Scent

Fandom: Castlevania series (2017-2021)

Pairing: Alucard x fem!reader

Rating: M

Count: 2k

Tags & Warnings: Alucard POV, Pining, Anxious possessive Alucard, blood kink, period kink, period pain, cramps, hurt/comfort, fluff, light smut, grinding/non-penetrative stimulation, implied period sex

A single drop splashes the window, followed by another, and another. 

He raises his gaze from the manuscript in his lap, lip curling involuntarily as rain pelts the castle walls. Head falling back against the old cushioned armchair, he stares emptily ahead.

A gray, rainy, cold day rusty November brought. The fireplace has gone out. He has no need for warmth—usually tends it only for you, and you are not here.

Where you should be, the darker thought riles; he forces it down. The tendency to own, to curl around his own, is instinctual, but he refuses to give it power. 

Still, this feels wrong. As much as Adrian tried, he failed to quench the desperation and fearful thoughts taking hold: thoughts of returning to before, when no other steps, no other heart thrummed within these walls. The connection between you still confuses him, yet frantic with the freshness of a new bond. And the delicate nature of its novelty often creates an impression of fragility, as if it needs to be handled with utmost care. He tries.

But, the fact is, you’d been avoiding him for the past few days. Adrian sensed a change, and could not pinpoint why, but you’d been more reclusive, skipped sharing the meals you usually cooked and ate together, and the night prior you had an actual argument. Now that hadn’t happened since the early days of your struggle to know one another. Such a trifle, over a meaningless, petty thing, and still he feels like a lowly cur, wishing he could undo it all.

You’d retreated, and he’s not seen a wisp of you since. He’d beg you on his knees to forgive him if only you would see and speak to him. The more base part of him misses you like a man does sweet water on an open ocean. So many questions, and they all lead to the same wretched fears: what if you realized you actually don’t care for him as you thought? What if you wanted to leave? What if you’d met someone else in the nearby town, someone whose spirit is less scarred, less of a struggle, less… work? 

Adrian snaps the manuscript shut in his lap, leaning forward, sighing into his palms. 

He’s better than this. Grinding his teeth here thinking of the worst probable outcome, when he should… If you truly want your solitude, he will respect that—but he needs to hear it from your own mouth.

Attempting to keep a clear mind when wading through the corridors is a chore, and dejection weighing on his steps the closer he is to the door of your chambers. As he reaches to knock, Adrian takes a deep breath. If only to know for certain. That is all.

One, two, three. 

There’s no reaction from within, though he knows you’re there. He can hear the blood surging through your veins, ordained by your pumping heart. Not asleep, either, as far as he can tell. 

Adrian presses his forehead against the wood, a palm gliding down the carved surface. Such sweet music, luxury to the senses. For moments, he merely listens, then gathers his courage. “It’s me. May we speak?” Time warps achingly slow with the silence. “... please?”

“I’m not well today.” Your voice, beyond the door, slow and drowsy. 

The worry that grips him drowns the relief of an answer. Adrian swallows. “How so? Can I help?”

“No.”

“... can I see you?” He tries, waiting and hoping.

Silence again. He frowns, righting himself, preparing for a reluctant retreat. 

“Come in.”

He need not be told twice, slowly pushing the heavy door open and closing it behind him.

He’s been here before, or rather you’ve been here together. Near a large window is a bed and on it you lie, your back turned to the door. He notices you’re huddled in heavy blankets, and looking to the opposite corner, sees the fireplace here is out as well, ashy and dark. 

He calls your name, which yields no movement from your end. Adrian nears, and whatever words he had die in his throat when he perceives the familiar, sweet scent of blood. Yours. “Are you hurt?” In two leaps he’s rounded the bed, wanting to see your face.

“No.”

You’re staring blankly ahead, and Adrian cannot determine much, but you appear unwell, like someone exhausted after a sleepless night. “Please, tell me, I can… I can sense it,” he kneels by the bed, one hand reaching to feel your temperature—higher than usual, but not concerning. And the scent…

You finally look at him with reddened eyes before closing them and sighing. “Adrian… I’ll be fine. I merely need a few days.”

“A few?...” he finds your hand—cold as ice. 

Unwell, apparently weak, the scent of blood and—

Ah.

“Oh, my poor dear,” he murmurs, understanding, remembering.

You groan softly. Adrian says nothing else but rises and heads over to the fireplace. He sets to light a flame, then feeds it, and repeats until heat and a healthy glow emit from that corner of the room, dancing along the green sheets of your bed. No matter he doesn’t feel the chill—with the way you were wrapped and curled, you most likely do. It also provides him with an engaging activity, diverting his attention from the intoxicating aroma of your moon days, a sensation he never anticipated, let alone found thrilling and… enticing?

Why now? You’d been living here for a while, and this never happened. Was it because you’ve shared yourself with him? He doesn’t know nearly enough about his own kind, apparently. 

Adrian leaves the room, wracking his memory on the way. He returns holding a tray with hot peppermint tea, a jug of water, and a bowl of harvested forest nuts. When he looks over to your bed, he sees you’d discarded the heavy blankets and are now sprawled there in your dark nightgown, your feet bare. It seems the chamber’s warmed now. 

He places the tray on the nightstand by your side as you follow his movements. 

“Adrian, you didn’t have to…”

“Shush,” he smiles, “Now, come, this’ll help,” he kneels by the bed, reaches for the teapot and fills a cup even as you drag yourself into a seated position facing him.

You take the warm drink from his hand, sip of the tea, sigh in relief. 

“Forgive me? For the other night,” he says, watching the face he loves, glad he’s doing something for you.

You reach and stroke his hair and Adrian watches you, eyes heavy lidded as your scent fills him again, emanating through your hand like a spell. His lips part in a soundless sigh. 

“I’m sorry too, I was… not at my best.”

“I understand, I do.” His eyes close as your fingers drift along his temple, his cheek, his jaw. “Do you wish me to leave?” 

“Of course not.” You look away. “I’m just... not very good company at the moment, as you can see.”

At that, he nuzzles into your hand, placing his own on your thighs as he rests with his head in your lap. He feels the caress of your fingers, and a deep yearning. He’s always been drawn to you, but now… “Believe me when I say I don’t care, as long as you’re here.” His heart is quickening, and he tries to control his breathing, palms rubbing your sides. Lust languorously weaves into emotions and devotion; thoughts of grasping those naked thighs while ramming into you intrude with vicious clarity, but he stays there, focusing on his breath, on you.

A whimper. “A-Adrian… your claws…”

His eyes snap open, and with conscious effort he retracts the talons he didn’t notice had grown. Adrian raises his head, slowly rises to his feet as you lie back down on the bed.

“Will you hold me?” you ask.

He could die here and now, gutted by the question and the look you’re giving him. He rounds the bed, removes his boots, and crawls over to your side, bringing you close enough that your back is pressed to his chest, his arm secured around your waist. “Are you in pain?”

“Ugh…” you nod, then take his larger hand and bring it to your lower abdomen. 

Without thinking, he presses into the softness of your flesh, while curling around your body until you’re flush against him.

“That feels good, you’re warm…” 

He runs slow, circular motions around your belly, trying to soothe the cramping ache of your body. “There, there,” a kiss to your ear, “It will pass,” a kiss to your neck. 

His hand glides to your thigh, legs tangling with yours. If only he could melt into you—yes, that’s what it feels like. There’s nothing closer to describe it. And what a selfish fool he’d been, thinking of his own fear and misery, while here you were. More kisses, short, more like soft pecks on the skin of your neck, your shoulder.

Your hand glides over his own as he runs it over your abdomen again, your lower body arching into his.

A soft groan escapes him. His chest is heaving when you turn, offering your mouth—soft lips, tasting of peppermint. He kisses them. Eyes fluttering closed, Adrian sucks on your flesh with quiet abandon, wanting you and wanting you and wanting you.

“Mmh—” you sever the kiss, staring at him with half a smile on your face. Your hips are slotted against his, and you surely feel the hardness of him against your softness. “You… enjoy this?” you ask.

For a moment, he feels shamed: he’d failed to control his own body, let himself be swept by need, and you’re hurting, so this is the last you might want. “I… yes,” he admits. “It does things to me. You, like this… but what about you?”

You stare at him, smile, and kiss him again, to his surprise. “I need you close.”

The warmth of the fire blazes in the room, hot enough that he can bare your shoulder and more, not breaking your gaze as he cups a tender breast in his hand. You partly turn towards him when Adrian leans to take the hard nub between his lips, sucking with relish, hand moving down to tenderly massage warmth into your abdomen, hips grinding slowly against yours through the thin night shift. Your soft moans spur him on, and soon your skin glistens from the heat and the added attention he gives your body.

He imagines it’s your hot cunt he’s feeling when he thrusts against your clothed form, become harder and tenser by the moment, until something gradually coils in him and the steady movement, the sweetness of your taste as he licks into your mouth and the scent, god the scent…

It’s not enough, it’s too much, it’s—he moans hotly into your skin, lips pressed to your shoulder when the flare of pleasure bursts within, swaying his vision; holds on to your hip, hugs you closer as he deliriously cums in his trousers.

“... fuck.”

All he’s able to say. He would eat into you and hide into you and this is not the outcome he expected, but then he’s weak and needy, and doesn’t deserve you. 

But you’re smiling, lips plush from his kisses. “That much, really?”

A nod, his face buried into your neck. “Everything about you is… divine.”

You fall into silence as Adrian kisses your cheek, then reluctantly disentangles himself from you to leave the chamber. He returns after a short while to feed the fireplace before he joins you again, taking you in his arms. The flames crack and layer a golden sheet over you both.

“You know…”

“Yes?” He’s still drunk on you, high on the primordial state of afterglow and the intimacy of your nearness, the visceral need to keep you safe and protected, especially now.

“I’ve heard of another way to help ease some of the discomfort,” you say and sit up in bed, gazing down at him. 

“Oh?” 

In your eyes dwells a spark, and suddenly Adrian feels your want, feels it beating in your womb. Slowly you straddle him as he lies prone on the bed, gathering the nightgown around your bare legs, his hands already on your hips. 

“I have need of you also, Adrian… if you want to!” you add swiftly.

A long, heavy breath escapes him. “God… yes,” Adrian leads you down to him, kisses you deeply, licking at the softness of your tongue. He’s slow to turn until you’re the one on your back with your legs crossed around his hips. He grins, already hard again from the mere thought of it, resting his forehead against yours. “Let’s… help you… feel better.”

[mar3ggiata]

professional help, c4. The waltz of the Snowflakes.

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs.

song to listen to when reading this: Harden my heart, Quarterflash.

abstract: he can get fucked, and his captain too. it's Jude if you haven't noticed. I have nothing more to add really, he's an ass and I'm not getting paid enough to deal with this shit, see ya. also, forgive me for the swearing it's a real problem I know!!

Well. That didn't exactly go to plan. Simon Whatever, what the fuck is your problem? She called a friend while driving home. 'Salvo, io gli volevo mettere le mani addosso, stu scemu…’ She was going over the speed limit, holding her phone with one hand. ‘Una merda Salvo, mi hanno mandato via come una cretina, son andata, ho parlato, mi ha detto non si puoi fare guagliù, chi cazz si pe me dicr chell c’agg fa oh!’

Now, to all my readers, I will translate. Jude speaks dialect when she's mad, bare with her. Her voice usually drooped an octave when she spoke it to accommodate the guttural and rough sounds of her language. Swear words that would make your racist grandad cry. She was calling Salvatore, she met him in 2021, he was currently deployed in South Korea. She told him she wanted to hit him, she said, they sent me away without hearing me out, they said what you're suggesting can't be done. 'Scusa, cosa hai proposto tu?' She loved Salvo, he was so understanding, he could read her mind. It was refreshing, when she found out he was from the same country as her. Speaking a bit of Italian with him was a break from all the English, the accents and the words she didn't know how to pronounce. 'Cosa ho detto, ho proposto che lo seguissero, anche grazie al cazzo vorrei dire… ( I refuse to translate all the swearing, Jude.) Questi vogliono aspettare e non fare nulla, però mi fanno perdere tempo con ste cazz'e riunioni!' (This means, 'I told them to follow him, obviously. They don't want to do anything, they want to wait and see, and yet they make me go out of my way for these fucking meetings.')

Salvo tried to reassure her that it wasn't really her problem, to which she replied, Arash was her patient. He asked her about the captain, she commented he stood there, watched her argue with his guard dog Lieutenant without saying a word. Coward, she called him. Who's the Lieutenant, he then asked. She told him, maybe she messed up the name a bit, but he seemed to recognise him. 'No, veramente?' He asked. 'Il Fantasma'. That made sense, you know, the mask an all. He told her he was quite famous for his mask and his story, which he didn't fully know. Lots of trauma I think, you could work with him. She parked her car in front of the dance school and got her bag. 'Non me ne fott, possono fare quello che vogliono, non sono io che ci rimetto. Lui nu strunz, fammi dire…' She explained she didn't care anymore and that they could do whatever they wanted. He was a dick, that's what she added, probably referring to the famous Lieutenant.

The girls could sense she wasn't having the best day and didn't want to mess with her. They stood quiet and avoided their usual chatting. They did warm up, barre and some center, she sent them off early. 'Miss Alba, we're gonna start rehearsals soon? For the Nutcracker.' It was Luna that spoke. She almost forgot. 'Yes girls next time.' Shit.

The Waltz of the Snowflakes. That's what she was gonna have to teach them. The owner of the school was crazy, the piece was way too difficult for her class. She didn't have time or strength to explain the piece was not meant for girls that young, she would have to simplify it. She put on a video on her laptop, trying to remember the best she could the original piece. She stripped of her leg warmers and her black shrug. Her mind kept wandering off the meeting with Price, not letting her concentrate. She was mad. Not because she didn’t get her way, they were the ones dying in the Middle East, not her. But because it was fucking humiliating. As a woman as well, you know. Maybe she made a mistake, going in there looking all pretty. But again, why would she sacrifice herself just to earn some basic respect? After she failed her pirouettes for the third time, she decided it was time to go home. She would talk to Arash and, if needed, follow him on her own.

notes: Since this is a shorter chapter (I've been incredibly busy with uni and work), here are some details about Jude:

height: 5’2’’ - eye colour: green - hair colour: blonde

traits: mole on her cheek, slightly crooked nose. mole on her right butt cheek, scar on her knee. at least 30 smaller moles all over her body. small boobie queen.

if she was a colour: dark blue

if she was an animal: killer whale

if she was a place: a forest

if she was a food: spicy pho - motto: for the plot

favourite position in bed: on top/doggy

favourite part of her body: eyebrows, hips

what she looks for in boys: loyalty, someone stable, good manners, honesty.

tattoos: big flower on her back, her grandmas house on ribcage with ivy on it, lavander flower between breasts, dagger on right arm, wine glass and whisky sour ingredients. nike (goddess of victory) statue on left arm, goth looking stars and white ferrari doodle. oui, non written on both knees. heaven written on ankle made with stick and poke needle.

loves to talk about: time, space, her dog, humanity, world wars, greek mythology, vegan recipes, life after death.

do not talk about: her family, weight, fire, not being the best in school and at work.

she would like to: try hotpot, paint pottery, start a podcast, go on more hikes, visit thailand, get another dog, attend a wedding.

she will never: have kids, get married, go to australia, go skiing again after she fell, have plastic surgery, drink beer.

if you’d like to know more stuff about her let me know!!

notes: Salvatore, Salvo for short, is a common southern Italy male name. Salvatore means 'the saviour', Salvo means 'safe'. Full translation of the speech: 'Salvo, I wanted to hit him, this fucker. It went to shit Salvo, they sent me away like I was stupid, I went there I told them what I thought, he said we can't do that, who the hell are you to tell me what I can and cannot do?' 'Sorry, what did you say to them?' 'I told them to follow him, obviously. They don't want to do anything, they want to wait and see, and yet they make me go out of my way for these fucking meetings.'

'No, veramente? Il Fantasma' means 'no, seriously? The Ghost.'

notes: if you want to hear what the dialect sounds like you can hear it in the tv series 'Gomorra' on YouTube.

taglist:

@ummmmmwat @ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006 @my-therapist-hates-me

[itonashi]

LOVING YOU WAS NEVER A MISTAKE

pairing: chigiri hyoma x fem!reader

genre: fluff, a little angst (i guess).

warning: manga spoilers! , grammars and lastly english isn't my first language.

note: used to write fanfics back in 2021. it was black clover haha. i was already on tumblr that time. i think i didn't really improved that much. idk tho. lowercase intended.

"i have always loved your hair, hyoma."

"is that so?" his grip on the water bottle tightens. he never thought he would meet you again after the u-20 match. he thought his 2 weeks break will be great. he had only finish his hangout with his blue lock friends.

you're still pretty even after a long time. your medium length hair now becoming a long length. your beautiful eyes and supple skin. how he wished to kiss you.

"i'm sorry for that time. i didn't mean to moved school without you knowing. please forgive me, hyoma. i missed you."

"why are you apologizing? i was the one who cut off contact with you. [name], never once have you made a mistake to me. i was the one frustrated because of my injuries that time. i thought you left me but i was the one who misunderstood the situation."

why were you even apologizing? why didn't you just left him like the others did to him. he was the one who shut you off first but yet here you are; talking to him first, apologizing to him first. you're just too kind for him.

you looked at him with sincere eyes. you really wanted to apologized to him. beg him to forgive you. on that day, the day he suddenly blocked you. you thought you did something wrong. you wanted to text him on other social platforms that you could but he blocked you on all of it. you were disheartened.

this time, you would not let chigiri hyoma go for the second time. you would hold him tight. tighter than before.

"can i hug you?" he asked you. he wanted to hold you. the time you were best friend, you were never touchy with him and he appreciates that. he appreciates how you respected boundaries. this is the first time he will ask you this.

"eh?"

you couldn't keep a straight face when he asked you that. chigiri hyoma asking you? to hug? him? the cold guy you befriended in school? you saw a blush forming on his ears, cherry red. you felt like you were going to burst because you still liked him. no, loved him.

without answering him, you wrapped your hands around his neck and pulled him closer to hug him. he was shocked that you were the one who initiated the action first. he hugged you back.

"sorry." he mumbled.

"it's okay now, hyoma."

the both of you pulled back from the hug. he saw your red face. she's blushing, he thought. you were just so cute. he couldn't resist you. maybe just maybe the two of you could hang out tomorrow.

"can i have your contact number back?"

"of course!"

ah, your bright personality. how could he forgot? you were so bright. that's the kind of person you are. but, you're now so elegant. the kind nature you hold. how lucky is he? having you by his side now.

he didn't mind riding the train with you. if it means spending time with you today? he would do anything. walking side by side. accompany you to your house. he loved you.

and you loved him too. of course, the two of you didn't confess to each other yet. soon enough, it will happened. you knew yourself that you would be the one to confess to him first. before all the moving school happened, you have always been the person to teased him in school because that's the person you are. saying everything that would make him blush.

you just loved his reactions.

"chigiri, did you know?"

"what is it, [name]?" he was packing his bag after a practice and you were there watching him. accompanied by something to do, he doesn't noticed your face smiling mischievously.

"you're very pretty, chigiri. much more prettier than me." he malfunctioned when you said that. he was used to hearing that by other people but hearing it from you? it was rare. you never told it to his face directly at all. it was the first time.

"stop."

"yeah yeah."

remembering the memories of you teasing him, you giggled quietly. he raised an eyebrow at the sudden giggling. he never know what's on your mind 24/7. he want to know.

loving you was never a mistake for him.

you can always guess what's on his mind. he was too easy to read or maybe you're just good at reading people? but the new him. it was hard for you to know.

but even though this is the new him.

loving him was never a mistake for you.

notes: hope you all loved it. tbh.. this is making me blush ngl. haha. enjoy!! first oneshot fanfics works on tumblr lol. the wordcount? idk ...

[mazzystargirl]

ok living up to pinned post w some true confessions/dark secrets… so basically after i tried to kms in 2021 fall and went to the hospital i entered a really intense slut era and like started impulsively spending money and stuff too and i didnt have a job so i was like oh omg having a sugar daddy would work out really well for me and also i wanted to do things that would be like damaging or whatever idk why i did it rly. but anyway i engaged in some sugar baby behaviors. and then that winter break i went home from school and met up w some of my friends who ive known since i was a kid. now i have to give a little bit of context here cuz its important. so i have these 3 friends, one of whom ive known since i was 3 years old (N) and the other two since i was like 7 (S and J). and we all live in a very tight knit neighborhood/cultural community where mostly everyone knows everyone. and so my 3 friends parents know my parents. i guess you can see where this is going… but anyway i told them i had a sugar daddy or like it came up in conversation idk. and that was that. then literally the following AUGUSTTTT my mom comes to me and is like oh so some people in the neighborhood have been saying that you’ve been engaging in risky behaviors with older men and that youve been meeting them in hotels. so obviously i denied it very emphatically and tried to pry out who tf she heard that from and honestly i was like what like who could have even spread that and she said J’s mom told her and was lowkey rly cagey about it bc she didnt want to “break her daughter’s trust” and had asked other aunties about the situation like wtfff… and then i remembered i had mentioned to them over winter break so she must have fucking told her mommmm. i decided to assume best intent and chose to believe she was worried abt me and thats why she told her mom so i messaged her like hi did u tell ur mom abt this and i appreciate ur concern but i would have appreciated it if maybe u came to me directly and checked on me it would have been better and u lowkey hurt my feelings cuz now im stressed and anxious and don’t know whos saying what abt me etc etc. and then…

she fucking LIEDDDDD she said she didnt say anything to her mom AND that her mom didnt say anything to my mom!?? which i know is fucking bullshitttt 😭 like it makes 0 sense like if no one said anything is my mom just pulling shit out of the air and if she was how would she land straight on the money like that it just doesnt add up. so i was like um ok ?? uh have a good day. and decided to let it go and i lowkey don’t speak to her anymore and i told N and S that im not speaking to her but they can hang out w her if they want. and i forgot abt it.

but now i just moved back home after finishing school and its lowkey been eating away at me. it hurts me that she was my friend for 13 years and its all up in flames and i never got any closure or an apology or even her to admit or acknowledge the situation?? it hurts me to be at home worried abt what people are saying or thinking about me. i know i shouldnt care but what other people think of me bothers me. im not ashamed of myself and my choices but i don’t want other people to think less of me. i don’t want to reach out to her bc what if she doesn’t care at all about the situation ??? i don’t want to be like this has been eating at me forever and it really hurt me and her to be like what r u talking about i don’t think about you at all. she also just got into med school and im happy for her for real like glad shes doing well its just like. she hurt my feelings really bad :(

anyway if you read this far… what should i do 🥲 is the only path forward trying to let go… tbh i think i just need someone to validate my feelings like am i right to be hurt or is it all my fault and should i beg for forgiveness 😭 like my friend N got coffee w her a couple weeks ago and brought it up to me twice what does that even meannnn

[loveisanimaginarydagger3000]

hellooo!!!

I just wanted to say how much I love your writings!

Dude I’ve been reading your stories since 2021. Such a long time! You’re apart of me now homie 😭. I found you first on Ao3 or wattpad I forgot but, I remember the day I realized it was the same person since you go by different users. I was ecstatic! Then I found out you had tumblr, girl I was kicking my feet giggling, rereading all your works.

I just wanted to say I’ve loved following you for so long! I’ve loved seeing you improve and write stuff that completely tear me apart. (Its okay, I’m a sucker for angst)

I always love all the things you put out. I remember getting notifs for your fics before class or after work and just being so impatient to get back home and read it. It always made my night or day!

And dude It’s crazy to me that we r the same age 😭🫶🫶 i pray you’re older than me by at least a couple months. I don’t think I could forgive myself if I had a person younger than me make me kick my feet in the air like you do whenever I read your fics 💀 I’m kidding, I’d still do it regardless LMAO

but, yeah just wanted to say its been an honor loveisanimaginarydagger3000 🫡

Hey 😁

2021???? Damn, you deserve a medal for putting up with my awful writing back then haha. The fact I've been writing for so long is crazy, I feel like all you reader's are a part of me too😭 U guys are the reason I'm still writing <3

Giggling and swinging your feet huh?😅😉 I feel honoured 😭

I'm so glad you put up with my old works, I'm so proud of how far I've come and I'm so glad people like you have been there to support me all the way through it.

Ugh you sound like me with my fav fanfic authors😭😅 Now it's my turn to giggle and swing my feet, maybe even blush a little :)

Well my birthday is December and I'm an 05 baby so you can figure it out from there😅 (Yes I was one of those teenagers who tried to write smut and fanfics but failed to write good ones till I grew up a bit)

It's been an honour to write for you all haha, this sounds like I'm quitting but I promise I'm not. I'm just going to take a small break to get all my shit together cause I'm a mess atm😭😅

Feel free to message me if you wanna talk more, about anything or the journey we have been on haha

I hope you have a good day/night <3 :)

[sillyravez]

Can't stop thinking about my 𝔀𝓲𝓯𝓮... I wanna kiss him so bad his lips looks so kissable his face looks so soft his hair looks so long and beautiful his sense of fashion id incredible his voice is so attractive the way he holds his weapon is extremely sexy and his treatment towards the youth and his dogs is so usgehdgrve ebdebbehe auhhhhhggghhh hes absolutely perfect ugyttghhh...... His cake arm and his his cool awesome cool eye just adds to his beauty hes so unique i love him I'm so glad devsis created him I am forever grateful idk how 2021 me left him for hank j wimbleton hes so pretty handsome beautiful hot attractive in so many ways that I think half of the words I'm thinking of to describe him hasn't even existed yet idk what im yapping about but like hes so ajevdbfhfbeb ehevhew ehehebwhwjwhwbw edhjreke I could never forgive myself each time I accidentally mischaracterize him whenever I'm thinking of him or writing a fanfic about him again dhbrhrje hes absolutely perfect hes perfect with anyone licorice parfait clover definitely not affogato because i haye that guy and red velvet wouldn't like that guy kiwi cookie just particularly anyone but pastey and affogato I hate affogato i hope he fucking dies and for pastry she's a woman lover he gives me gender enby or something i forgot what's it called but he definitely changed me i love him so MUCH i wish I was him bc I would have bragged for being him because like devsis literally confirmed that he's the most handsome in the tower because he literally is hes so sjdbeb AURGGHSVR his shoulder touching mine would DEFINITELY fix me mane im so glad he's not real because if he was I'd have to fight the other two red velvet cookie fans over him but if he was im pulling a martyr idk if I used that word right but I'd do anything for thisvguy ok im lagging while typing this howbdo fanfic writers in tumblr write anyway hes so perfect hes flawless woof woof his personality is just my type hes so caring gentle dad the way he sounded when he was trying to stop pome and lico from fighting again is so funny and heartwarming hes so cute cute his existence is literally the best in the cookie run universe like how did the team think of something so perfect that it's literally like impossible you know they literally created something so flawless perfect majestic beautiful that makes u question your gender sexuality or just basically everything aboit you hes the reason why I'm still living and not depressed like i used to be before i cope by Red Velvet Cookieng i love him so much i can't put it into words he's so proud and confident about his babies i feel like he'd be a very supportive dad no matter who you are or how you treat him he'll still treat you like his own child gently and carefully he'd be the best dad i mean look look hes literally taking care of hundreds, thousands, or more cake creatures preparing for war while making more of them can anyone else do that NO hes the literal definition of peak me and the other two Red Velvet Cookie enthusiasts know him better than others do who only sexualizes him like i get it hes hot but hes so muvh more than that hes not just a sexy "twink" no HES NOT A FUCKING TWINK YOU FAKE ASS BITCHES DEVSIS TWINKIFIED HIM HES EVERYTHING BUT A TWINK HE'S NOT A TWINK I HATE PEOPLE WHO CALL HIM THAT WHETHER THEYRE BEING SATIRE OR NOT I HATE IT NO HES NOT A HIMBO EITHER STOP CALLIJG THE COOKIE RUN CHARACTERS HIMBOS BIMBOS OR WHATEVER INSULT NONE OF THEM ARE i feel like he'd understand me more than my family does well they can be fucking assholes sometimes and Red Velvet Cookie never once acted like an asshole hes so considerate and genuine ok that's it bye bye!!! I love this guy and I'm him btw i love drawing this guy hes my comfort i wish devsis finally releases his magic candy

[truly-hopeless]

Honest Question About A Fic

So not too long ago, while at work, I was thinking about a story of mine that I haven't updated in almost two years. The story is titled "I Move the Stars For No One," which is a retelling of Rumpelstiltskin with L/Light Yagami as the main ship that I started writing after reading other LawLight fairy tale rewrites, namely eleonoraw's Merman and Totoroto's Snow Moon. It was my first story published to AO3 near the beginning of the pandemic and was my first LawLight fic. It currently sits unfinished at seven chapters (there was an eighth, a scrapped prologue, but I moved it to "The Dead Darling Graveyard" since it had little to do with the story) and was last updated December 2021. While I like parts of the current version (such integrating other fairy tales into the story since I'm a sucker for that kind of thing), I feel dissatisfied with the story for several reasons:

It's taking too long to get to the main conflict of the story (Beyond disrupting Light and L's arrangement and the two needing to find a way to stop that from happening) even without the long hiatuses and that smaller conflicts (L hiding he's a goblin from Light, Light feeling conflicted about what to do now that he's not going to be executed, and Misa's jealousy) are getting resolved too easily.

The story barely resembles Rumplestiltskin at all. Sure, it was always going to be a different story from the original fairy tale since the protagonists' identities and circumstances that make them desperate enough to ask a magical stranger for help and who they fall in love with are not the same (while the miller's daughter can definitely do better than the greedy king demanding she spin straw into gold on pain of death, never in a million years is she going to consider the man who demands she hand over her baby [presumably to eat it] in exchange for his help marriage material unless there is serious tweaking done to his character), it still feels off.

The main characters feel out of character. Light and L became too familiar too fast (even for a ship fic) and there's no real tension after L's deception is revealed and Light forgives him (too easily, I feel). And while I don't necessarily want to vilify Misa to add conflict (especially since I just complained about how awful the king in the original fairy tale was), she should be a little more unwilling to share Light with L (even if she is the one that gets to marry him) and push back more.

I just hate the title. It was taken from lyrics of a song from Labyrinth, but outside of L being the King of Goblins in this story and the memory-wiping peaches there's nothing in common with Labyrinth either; it could have been, if I wasn't afraid of adding more conflict and making L more dark grey when it comes to morality, but that wasn't what I wrote.

So I'm thinking about rewriting the story, to make it more in line with both the original fairy tale and in the spirit of LawLight. But that comes with it's own problems:

If you've been following me for any amount of time, you'll know that I'm not the most consistent when it comes to updating my stories; it could be anywhere between a week to four months to a whole year before I update something due to a combination of burnout, stress when I think about how I'm almost thirty and nothing in my life is coming together, and being distracted by other story ideas. Speaking of...

I have too much shit going on as is when it comes to writing. I was tagged for that WIP ask game a few weeks ago, where I had to list out all the stuff I've been working on. The list has 31 drafts and I found out today that I still forgot to list a couple (not going back to change it now) and then there are ideas that play out in my head during work or when I'm trying to sleep that I haven't brought myself to write down because I am trying to keep the new WIPs to a minimum.

I have yet to finish a long story (I have the same problem as the protagonist from Dave Made a Maze: I start all these projects, but never finish them) and will feel slightly guilty for abandoning yet another one, even if it's for the sake of a rewrite instead of abandoning it altogether and trying to forget they exist like the stories on my FFN account.

So what should I do?

[wynought]

Alright, I decided to just dig a little bit and look into these claims - not because I necessarily doubt them or think vaping is cool, but rather because (given recent events) checking sources has been on my mind lately, and also I'm doing my best to form a habit of only reblogging stuff I could actually verify.

So let's get started:

"Vaping is confirmed to cause cancer." We don't actually know that - see Is vaping harmful? (from Cancer Research UK, last reviewed March 27th 2023), What Does Vaping Do to Your Lungs? (from Johns Hopkins Medicine, which is copyrighted as from 2023, but I couldn't find the date this particular article was published, which is terrible practice lbr, but it's Johns Hopkins, so I figured I'd include it), What Do We Know About E-cigarettes? (from the American Cancer Society, last revised June 23rd 2022), Can vaping cause cancer? (from MedicalNewsToday, last reviewed August 4th 2023). Now, this does not mean that we know vaping doesn't cause cancer. We just do not have the data yet to stake that claim this confidently. Thousands of distinct chemicals have been found in vaping liquids and aerosols (Johns Hopkins researchers find thousands of unknown chemicals in electronic cigarettes, published October 7th 2021 on Johns Hopkins University Hub), most of them unidentified, but including an unnamed pesticide and two unnamed "industrial chemicals" (whatever that actually means - I'd check the actual published article, but I'm literally coming down with a cold and have a pounding headache, so the reader may forgive me for not diving into something that is very much not my expertise; feel free to dig that up yourself, though, I'd love to read more!). According to Wikipedia's page on the composition of electronic cigarette aerosol, various heavy metals (a class of substance know for being carcinogenic) have been found in vaping liquid and aerosols, but the article they cite gets their data from another article (Levels of selected carcinogens and toxicants in vapor from electronic cigarettes, author manuscript made available to PubMed Central on March 1st 2015), which claims that the amounts of heavy metals found weren't significant enough to conclusively prove that these originated from the aerosols examined. The most significant reference to carcinogenic substances that I could find was formaldehyde, which various sources have confirmed as being found in the aersols. Apparently, it can form during "dry-puffing" when there's not enough liquid in the cartridge or the liquid overheats (I forgot where specifically I found this explanation, but I'm relatively certain it is in one of the articles cited above. Once again, please forgive me for not going back to double-check - I am only writing a Tumblr post, not a paper, and I am feeling quite unwell). Formaldehyde is a known carcinogen and I, for one, wouldn't want any trace of it in my lungs. Now, from all this research, I personally think that it is quite likely that we will find a correlation between vaping and increased cancer risk eventually. However, to claim that it is a known fact that vaping causes cancer is premature at best.

"Many vapes contain diacetyl, which, when inhaled[,] causes popcorn lung[.]" Diacetyl is a food additive used for 'buttery flavouring' that is considered safe for consumption. It is, however, not safe to inhale. Popcorn lung, also known as bronchiolitis obliterans, is called that because workers in popcorn manufacturing were the people contracting it. It has been shown that their exposure to diacetyl is either what caused them to become ill, or diacetyl can be considered a marker for the underlying cause of bronchiolitis obliterans (Diacetyl-Induced Lung Disease, published August 2012 in Toxicological Reviews - please note that at moment of writing I have only read this specific article's abstract, since I don't feel like falling down into a rabbit hole of the history of this one specific disease). The most important thing here is, that we have reason to believe that diacetyl can be harmful if inhaled regularly. The NHS and Cancer Research UK both claim that the use of diacetyl as a flavouring agent has been banned in the UK since 2016 due to a related EU law (Vaping myths and the facts, once again missing an easily accessible publishing date, not a good look on the NHS, but it's still up; Does vaping cause popcorn lung?, last reviewed on December 14th 2021). It is highly probably, if you use legal products in the EU and UK, that your vaping liquids do not contain diacetyl due to the aforementioned law. The FDA, on the other hand, warns that e-juice may contain diacetyl as recently as January 5th 2020 (Chemicals in Tobacco Products and Your Health, as published on the official FDA website). I wasn't able to find any more recent news on possible regulations regarding the diacetyl content of vapes. This just reflects what I was easily able to find on US-American and European/UK-related health and safety websites. Please consider looking into this matter for your own country yourself, and check the contents of any vape juice you bought/consider buying. I have also seen mentions of manufacturers/retailers not always disclosing accurate content information for their products. Without checking that feels like it should be illegal in the EU, but again: do your own research! Also, to reiterate: just because this one chemical which has been linked to bronchiolitis obliterans may not be contained in your vape, doesn't mean there aren't other harmful substances in there. In fact, there is a significant number of chemicals that are correlated with irritation of the lungs, both for primary and secondary vapers, and, speaking as a non-expert, my gut says that if your lungs are constantly under attack you will be less prepared to fight off any infections. (I actually skimmed through a paper that correlated higher rates of covid infections to regular vaping, but I forgot to save that source, so because I can't actually cite anything, I'm just presenting it as "yeah that kinda makes sense". Feel free to link that paper to me, if you happen to find it, and I will edit this part to reflect this research)

"Ultrafine particles, when being inhaled, can be lodged in the trachea (not good!)" Ok, so I'm uncertain what exactly OP is referencing here. To my understanding, the trachea is coated with a mucuous membrane that is supposed to catch any foreign particles and expel them, before they get to enter the lungs. Vape aerosols can contain particles ranging from 10nm to 100s of nm in size, whcih is pretty damn small. I can absolutely understand that particles of that size might not be expelled normally, and instead coat the trachea, potentially leading to a loss in effectivity or possibly other long term consequences? I think that's what OP is referring to, but since I didn't know what exactly to look for, please keep in mind that this is my (a non-expert's!!!) intuitive guess, just putting together my general half-remembered knowledge of nano-particles and human anatomy. Another part of my gut reaction is: yeah, it's bad when this happens to the trachea, but you know what's even worse? Coating your lung's alveolar cells in this shit. I'd assume that would be way worse in the effects it would have on you. If OP happens to read this: please expand on this claim!

"Ultrafine particles can also constrict the arteries in the lungs potentially causing A HEART ATTACK" Ok, so I haven't been able to find anything correlating heart attacks with vape usage. But research has definitely proven links to an increase in the risk of heart disease (Can vaping cause a heart attack? on MedicalNewsToday, last reviewed on May 23rd 2023; People who vape had worrisome changes in cardiovascular function, even as young adults a review article on The American Heart Association, published October 31st 2022). Interesting to note is that the latter article claims that on average people who were vaping were doing as bad on the exercises used to evaluate future risk for cardiovascular disease as people who were using traditional cigarettes, even though they had been vaping for a much smaller amount of time. I am in no position to extrapolate anything from that, but it did give me pause.

"Vaping is relatively new. Not much studies have been done in comparison to tobacco." This is true. I don't have anything to cite here, but this is a pretty self-evident claim IMO. I also think it's the most important takeaway from this; we do not know the long term risks. Research is actively being conducted, products are still actively being developed. At the moment, vaping largely seems to be less risky than smoking cigarettes; so I can see how people who struggle with quitting smoking may be tempted to switch over (which is understandable IMO). However, it is quite clear even from the research available to us at the moment, that not vaping is the far healthier alternative.

"[T]he vaping companies are powerful people. There is a large chance that they are purposely downplaying and even burying any evidence that vaping is harmful - just like the tobacco companies before them." I don't have any way to refute or substantiate this claim. I don't think it's outlandish, there has been precedent for this kind of thing all over the place. It remains true that these companies are trying to sell you something and anything that might convince you not to buy from them is going to be uncomfortable for them at best. Who benefits if you blindly believe that vaping isn't dangerous? Again, this is my own belief, I wouldn't even know how to begin to check if there is already something being buried. It's possible that, currently, they aren't burying anything at all, because the positive press from appearing like they can help you quit cigarettes (regardless of whether this claim has anything to stand on) has slowed down people looking into it seriously enough. Additionally, these companies already had to comply with European laws regarding the sale of nicotine products to minors, and the FDA seems (to an outside perspective) pretty slow to actually introduce any regulation at all. So they might just be happy to rake in their profits for now. I just honestly don't know, but let's just say that I wouldn't be surprised.

As a last point: If you vape near me, I think I should be legally allowed to fucking chew your nose off. This will be my main policy goal once elected and you can support my campaign at-

I know I sound like your mom but you kids need to stop fucking vaping

[beingspirituallyharassed]

Niggas had me going crazy since 2022, I’m sitting here thinking it’s the weed that had my head in the place that it was and it wasn’t. I had to go get spiritual help to be told them mfs was DEMONS.

I had:

•Mf bitches claiming I stoled their energy.

•Niggas calling me a psychotic bitch, a Devil worshiper, a Jezebel, Psychopath, a Schizo, I trapped them, etc (all in my head though)

•Any time I get upset cause I’m hearing mfs saying

•”Mara don’t care…” “Mara sacrificing people” “Mara sold her soul” etc.. they was hoping and praying I had a “psychotic break”

•I’m sitting here doing cleanses damn near everyday, found out Sage not a good way to cleanse your space, it invite spirits or just neutralizes the energy you already have in there. It don’t cleanse shit. Had to switch to Rosemary, Rue, Cedar, etc. Even though I was doing the cleanses & spiritual baths, them mfs was still here, telepathically communicating degrading, unsolicited, low vibrational, demonic ass messages to me.

•Forgot to add back in 2021 it felt like a spirit was cuddling me without my fucking permission multiple nights, Thought I was going crazy then.

•It felt like them niggas(demons) put me under surveillance. Any time I was doing something I wanted to do (Hoop, walk, find a job, etc..) them niggas was going and telling somebody or something.

•Couldn’t go to sleep some nights because they sending me visions of niggas fuckin.

•Mfs jerkin me. I was hearing niggas argue about me when I was going to sleep and when I was waking up.

•I still get visions of them niggas but it’s to make me feel unsure of myself, niggas giving off the sign language considering me crazy.

•Always tried to distract myself, everytime I tried to focus on me and what I wanted them niggas was there to knock me off balance.

•they was claiming they were “trying to help me” and then changed to “I’m not helping no more. I tried to kill myself multiple times because all these mfs did was make me FEEL crazy, knock me off balance every time I felt like I had footing, Made me hate myself because I felt like I deserved that shit, like it was my karma. I wasn’t claiming that shit because part of me knew someone or something was fuckin with me I just didn’t know what or who.

I’m just now finding some type of peace of mind because that shit was everyday up until this year but they still try to comeback to bother me. Still comeback to try and convince me I’m crazy. I went through so much within the past two years I cut everyone off because I felt crazy. But that’s how they get you🤷🏽‍♀️.

All I know is I went through that shit & more I haven’t spoke about by myself, crying at night because I didn’t know what to do, how to get them away from me, what the fuck I did to deserve that, who to talk to without the fear of mfs looking at me crazy. I tried letting it go, tried forgiving just to drop the resentment, tried writing it out, tried burning everything I wrote out. I understand healing is a everyday process but them mfs just keep coming back, keep trynna convince me I’m crazy & I’m tired of it so I want everyone to know about them. Maybe if they knew mfs know about them, that they’re not invisible, they’re not as powerful as they try to project upon me they’ll go back to wherever they came from & learn how to respect peoples boundaries when they tell them the first time.

[lovelight-x]

I texted you awhile ago now, my first attempt at contacting you since 2020, or maybe it was early 2021. It took the message a few days to say "delivered," and I kept making excuses for you. Maybe you were on a trip and didn't have reliable service. Maybe you were late on your phone bill. Maybe the difference in countries effected how the text was sent.

Maybe you changed your number.

Maybe you blocked me.

When the message said "delivered," I gave it a few more days. I don't know why it took so long to say that, but maybe now you'd reply. Maybe you didn't know what to say, or maybe you were upset that I'd reached out. When no reply came, I deleted the message thread and honestly forgot about it for awhile.

I don't know why I reached out. Maybe I wanted closure on what was such a big part of my life. Maybe I just wanted to see how you were, how your mother was with her undiagnosed health issue. Maybe I just wanted a chance to share my accomplishments with you, believing even for a moment that you cared. Maybe I wanted to see if all the things you said before were true.

I went so long without a desire to speak to you, so long without sparing you much thought at all. The drastic changes in my life may have spurred me to reach out, feeling like I was a different person now, and maybe I could forgive you enough to be friends. A decade spent talking to you and knowing you, even if you hid so much from me, left me feeling off with my new life. Maybe I was wrong to cut you off. Maybe you deserved a chance at friendship. Maybe you deserved to lose me. I didn't know then, and I don't think I know now.

I guess I'll never know.

[local-crying-boy]

Thank you so much for all the votes <3 I'm so glad I can yap about this silly character I made.

[QUICK WARNING: this is long asf + not proof read]

= I also make a lot of Avengers references because I grew up on both of these franchises, forgive me =

So… my Mutant OC that has come in many forms throughout my obsession with the X-men, then was ultimately left to fizzle out and die from lack of attention when I inevitably got into the Avengers side of the MCU.

I mean just look at how my oc (originally called Y/n because that was a huge thing for me back in 2020/2021) was back then

Clearly I was desperately wanting this oc to be not clearly human (hence the wings, wolf and elf ears). This was like BEGINNING of me drawing and obsessing over making so called PoVs for my favourite films. So, in my 11 year old brain, I started to work on this 'Y/n' and gave it an actually name (then completely forgot about it until I watched Deadpool and Wolverine).

Now, do I remember the name I originally gave 'Y/n' after I decided it wasn't going to be called 'Y/n'? NO! of course not. I mean, in reality, this 'OC' had COMPLETELY changed when I revisited it. The OC isn't even a female anymore, and it become more of a 'persona' or based off of myself, which, to be honest, defeats the entire point of an Original CHARACTER. But, hey, ho, it is what it is.

So, let me start the actual ramble over this character:

His name is Nicolas Jasper (not the most creative last name, I'll admit). He is twenty-five years old and he's the most British character (I've decided) who is an x-men.

I haven't actually decided what his hero name is yet because, well, I don't want to give him a shitty cringy one by accident, so I've left it for whenever I actually decide to brainstorm some ideas.

His Mutation

Nicolas has an 'animalistic' mutation of sorts, he's got small horns, ones that goats have and he has a tail too. He's got retractable claws, but his nails look relatively normal (almost like sabretooth, but Nicolas hasn't sharpened them), while also having more sharper teeth than before his mutation developed.

Now, with his claws, they work the same as cat claws do. So, when Nicolas developed his mutation, he gained the function of dorsal elastic ligaments, which is similar to how cat's are able to retract and protract their claws when needed.

So this is a diagram of a cat's paw, clearly. Therefore, my OC had developed similar functions in his hands that allow him to do the same as a cat!

And, one downfall of Nicolas' mutation was that part of his brain chemistry/instincts altered. So, obviously, humans don't act wild and overly aggressive to the point of murder. However, due to Nicolas' 'animalistic' mutation, he started to slowly act more like a wild animal.

I originally grew inspiration for the 'wild animal' aspect of the mutation from Bruce Banner and The Hulk, because Hulk acts so aggressive and attacks and destroys (or, at least, he did). Banner had to learn how to control his anger so that Hulk wouldn't show up and be all aggressive. So, I wanted to do something similar with my OC.

Of course, though, Nicolas doesn't have some alter ego that comes out when faced with a dangerous situation or when faced with heightened emotions. Which just means that Nicolas just goes absolutely, simply feral when he first developed his mutation and got pissed.

His backstory:

Nicolas originally had a pretty normal family: a mother, a father and he had two siblings - a sister and a brother. He did, however, grow up with parents who didn't exactly like mutants, so he grew up with ideals in his head that mutants were horrible and monsters, things that were unnatural and not to be trusted.

Because mutants gain their, well, mutations throughout the years of puberty, Nicolas started to gain his mutation around the ages of 13-14. Obviously it was clear with the horns and the tail, his parents had started to get a little bit colder towards him and it got worse as his mutation progressed more and more. This whole 'parents-starting-to-neglect-him' thing slowly led to his emotions starting to get more out of hand, so you can thank his parents for his overly angry anger issues.

Around his two siblings, however, they really didn't mind the whole mutant thing and the three of them were able to have a lot of fun with Nicolas' newfound abilities. His two siblings were actually a large part of the reason that Nicolas didn't immediately become hateful towards his mutation, since they actually showed him that some people liked the fact that he had these abnormal developments in his youth.

However, after three years (so when he was sixteen) of this neglect from his parents and his instincts starting to become much more 'animalistic', he finally snapped and, basically, acted as a wild animal.

[Little ramble - feel free to skip, it was just me explaining the whole 'wild animal' idea]

Now, I know what your thinking, "A wild animal? That's stupid, boy, what the hell were you thinking?"

Now, now, hear me out, yeah? Let me talk you though my insane, weird thought process.

I was trying to think about some animals that are just, I guess, naturally aggressive because I wanted this sense of Nicolas going 'feral' and almost 'merciless' when he has heightened emotions. Initially, my mind went to animals like wolves, hippopotamuses, sharks and crocodiles.

However, Nicolas only comes into this aggressiveness when provoked or overwhelmed and whatnot. So my mind went to Chihuahuas (which I thought was spelt 'Chiwawas') because you see so many videos of Chihuahuas being aggressive, but that is only when they are feeling threatened! (Guys, they aren't actually aggressive!! They just feel threatened when they act like that most of the time!!!)

So the idea expanded.

Nicolas final straw to 'snapping' is when his parents started to get loud and extremely aggressive. And, because Nicolas has seen how his parents have spoken about and to mutants, he started to get afraid about how loud they were.

His parents had seen how he and his two siblings had been messing about with some of Nicolas' abilities, and they HATED the fact that they had been doing it ever since Nicolas' mutation started developing.

His parents were starting to get closer and closer to him, becoming louder and louder until this sort of 'instinct' that he developed finally kicked in.

Call back to me getting inspiration from Bruce Banner and the Hulk (if you read that), just like how Banner blacks out when switching to the Hulk, Nicolas blacks out when he goes 'feral' or 'wild'. Which means that Nicolas only remembers bits and pieces to when he initially snapped.

All he remembers is swinging for his father, claws out, his mother screaming in fear and his two siblings behind him as they tried to grab his arms. After that, nothing. Completely empty. He remembers... absolutely nothing.

Meeting the X-men:

Time skip to three years later, Nicolas still being in a sorts of 'blind rage', Charles Xavier - using Cerebro - was able to find Nicolas.

Prior to Xavier looking for Nicolas, everyone thought that the series of attacks that were appearing were simply animal attacks. Everyone who survived was able to describe a creature who was too quick to see and some sort of snarling noise. Which meant that Charles Xavier didn't think twice about looking for a possible mutant. However, the attacks were too frequent and the victims were all describing the same 'animal'.

After the second year of these 'animal attacks', Charles Xavier wanted to get rid of the suspicion of this 'animal' being a mutant. Although, he did believe that the chances were slim and that, if it was actually a mutant, they would be hard to reason with if they were going around attacking hikers out in the woods.

However, Xavier, obviously, was correct in his suspicions and himself and some other one (I don't know the others aren't really SUPER relevant). They first tried to talk Nicolas down from his 'feral' episode, but it didn't have much affect.

Nicolas had immediately tried to attack the X-men, and so one of the others (not Charles Xavier) had to give Nicolas a sharp blow to the head and knock him out. Similarly to how Natasha Romanoff knocked out Clint Barton to stop Loki having control over him.

When Nicolas came to, he was back in the mansion. Everyone was on very high guard, just in case this was just how Nicolas acted. However, Charles was able to look into Nicolas' head and see that he really had no memory of those three years during his 'feral' episode.

Similarly to Logan (which wasn't actually on purpose), Nicolas asked Xavier to help him retrieve those years of memories that he lost. But, alas, even Xavier wasn't able to help all that much.

brief yap about Nicolas in the films:

In my mind, Nicolas was introduced to the X-men around the same time as Jean and Scott (which was DEFIENTLY NOT because I wanted him to interact with Logan shhhh it definitely was).

However, because I am so bad at inserting my own characters into films half the time, Nicolas really isn't in many of the scenes. Or, at least, he isn't yet, mostly because I haven't EVEN thought about inserting him into the films yet. I've mostly been thinking about his character as a whole.

Though, because I am so INSANELY in love with Logan, I may, perchance, add in a small unrequited love type trope. Only because I love making my characters suffer about small things after giving them trauma.

So, yeah! That's my yap for those of you who actually wanted to hear about it. Once again, thank you for voting in the poll about whether or not you wanted to hear about Nicolas, I appreciate it very much!

I’m currently huperfixating on x-men because I watched Deadpool and wolverine like a week ago and now am working on consuming ALL x-men content RELIGIOUSLY. Like, I LOVED the x-men as a kid, then clung onto the Avengers for dear fucking life. However, the film has resurrected my obsession and I’m already working on a mutant oc.

I’ve got such a good background for said oc and it literally is making tweak that I don’t have anyone to talk about it to.

Question is: does anyone actually wanna hear about this shit?

[zombies-aliens]

The Jonah hill situation with that girl, I forgot her name I never heard of her but I can't be bothered man, apparently she's a surfer and she models if I understand this correctly and.. there's a lot to be said and even more questions to be asked. I don't care to get into it. After looking into the background of the texts Jonah Hill has struggled with anxiety, and the woman he was dating in the texts which occurred in 2021 also has her mental health struggles (don't we all) and I obviously am like everyone else seeing this on the internet who does not know or never met these two before and probably never will, all I can say is that these two people had a rough patch and they're best off carrying on with their lives since it seemed to be a miss for the both of them. They don't seem compatible plan and simple. I feel bad that the woman deleted 3 pictures/videos off her social media for Jonah, when they weren't even in a relationship (forgive me if I'm wrong). I think that was a bad move on her part bc she didn't like it obviously, she should have just put an end to the relationship. Hopefully she still has them in her gallery or something but yeah, Jonah Hill is looking like the asshole for that bit, but as far as him stating his boundaries in that text I think that's a healthy way to go about things since he states there is no hard feelings. It's not our business to know why he doesn't like what he doesn't like (even tho it's also not my business to write a full fledged response to this) But was there hard feelings? You could say yes, but it's all said and done now, this was 2 years ago. I'm afraid to ask this question bc I'm afraid it'll open up a can of worms but the only relevant question at this point is why the need to look back to the past? The situation wasn't the best but it's by no means dangerous, nobody was psychically hurt, she wasn't m*lested, etc but if there is evidence to support a claim that he did or if she did anything to him then that should be the first thing to bring up, but I'm going off topic and that's not the case we have here. In fact the whole situation from whats been presented as of today is pretty tame. This case just boils down to two people not working out as a potential couple and the woman is bringing up the past. However you wanna slice it that's what it leads to. Maybe we'll see why in a few days that she brought it up again as of now I gotta say this move seems in vain. Thx for reading and be an individual and beware of herd mentality.