#forgive me for the horrible quality
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Moroha mode Paracelsus skchets I did. Maybe I will draw a properly design later.
#guilty gear#aba guilty gear#ggstrive#guilty gear paracelsus#guilty gear fanart#paracelsus guilty gear#guilty gear aba#aba ggst#paracelsus#paracelsus ggst#ggst paracelsus#forgive me for the horrible quality#those are really messy#actually i hope is somewhat easy to understand the skchets
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@arisenreborn thanks, Emrys. Unfortunately Lane is trash at nicknames but an attempt has been made.
#friend oc#pawn-lane#ritens-art#forgive me for my horribly low quality drawings as of late. im having /a time/#dragon's dogma 2
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What's This?
A ceremony is comensing... I wonder what he's doing?
#crk#cookie run kingdom#shadow milk cookie#pure vanilla cookie#fanfic#ao3#God forgive me for the horrible quality but it's best I got for now#my writing
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Miku in the beginning of FF3: "yeah I miss my brother but even though I saw him deeper in the shrine I don't want to follow after him, I want to forget the horrors and move forward with my life"
Miku midway through FF3: powerful sixth sense makes her extra susceptible to the Manor's call, starts getting heavily influenced by Amane's spirit, a handmaiden who misses her brother, to the point that Rei is wondering if Miku chasing her brother is actually her own actions or if they're really Amane's. Cold and exhausted during the day, vacantly singing the handmaiden's song (w/ Amane's spirit literally standing beside her at one point), seeing Mafuyu when it's actually Amane's brother's echo, Kuze family head calling her Amane, spacing out a lot. Clearly possessed.
Miku towards the end of FF3: literally says "not this dream again... I don't want it anymore..." Wants to wake up, return to reality, to Rei, doesn't want to chase him (like yeah sure you can still choose to chase him but she still says she wants to return to reality before you're even given the option to make your choice)
Tecmo for MOBW: well actually...
I am forever salty. 😡
#miku hinasaki#fatal frame 3#fatal frame maiden of black water#spoilers for FF3 i guess#please disregard the horrible quality of the pictures#I'm currently playing on actual hardware taking pictures of the screen like an old lady#i love miu but i despise what they did to explain her existence#they could have gone any other route but they didn't#so now i have to pretend like that aspect of MOBW doesn't exist#because i love MOBW i love Yuri and Hisoka and Miu#but boy does that aspect sour it for me a bit#will never forgive Tecmo for what the did to poor Miku#fatal frame#project zero
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i use the word god very often for someone who doesn’t believe in a merciful god lmao
#religion preaching wrath before mercy was not a fun time#the message of “i will rain the most excruciating death upon you and your people before “but i’ll forgive#did not work for my paranoid ass as a child#only made me freak out that i was messing up somehow and that would mean eternal damnation#i used to have nightmares and extreme paranoia. the nightmares mostly stopped when i was 12 after happening almost every night at least.#and as i got older and read about all the horrible things going on in this world all i could think was. how is this the doing of a kind god#things you go through being the tests that will determine whether or not you get into heaven pisses me off#like poverty? test. mental health? test. literally any bad thing? a test#also things that can give you pleasure in this life are also tests of restraint LMFAOOO#fuck ALL the way off#God does not burden any soul with more than it can bear: each gains whatever good it has done and suffers its bad-#this verse makes me SO ANGRY. before the semicolon it can be seen as a good thing.#after the semicolon it can be a moral lesson.#pre semicolon i like her. she’s comforting once in a blue moon#but the second half is the worse half cus#riddle me this: why are children born into war zones? why are people born with physical deformities that affect their quality of life?#what did they do to be born like that?#what moral failing did a child do to be born into horrible conditions?#and the first half. i have my beef with her. if i tried to kill myself does that mean i just failed to meet god’s expectations of me lmfao#that i SHOULDVE been able to tolerate it and i failed?#gigantic tmi but i’ll never not be bitter about how exactly my parents put islam onto me in my childhood#i think i could’ve been comfortable with the religion if it wasn’t shoved down my throat as a child#when i tell you my parents would have us doing quran study every day for at least two hours for fucking years#gee what a great way to instill something into your child
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I've started watching a "Corpse Party" playthrough, and so far it's the kind of thing I've been looking for in horror media!! It fills the content holes that Danganronpa didn't meet!! Downsides so far include:
I think I started with the wrong game, but I can't find any playthroughs of the first game on this particular channel.
Playlist is like 24+ hours total. This will take awhile.
Videos are from 9 years ago and the max resolution is 240p. I suffer.
Game audio is weirdly balanced between music and voice acting, and the video itself is also weirdly balanced between the game and commentary. I cannot win the volume settings battle.
The game text is translated, but the voice acting is not, so I can't put it on in the background and I have to read everything.
All of those things are more technical/personal issues and don't have much of an impact on my enjoyment so far!! If I manage to get through this playlist, I would like to get into the rest of the games as well ^-^
#im currently watching ManlyBadassHero play Corpse Party: Book Of Shadows and im ~5hrs into it so far#if he DOES have the original game on his channel i dont think i'll watch it since i think the video quality would kill me#it doesnt help that every single set of headphones in my house only has right-side audio working#but the game so far has been gruesome and horrible and it is lovely#manly does kinda fill you in on plot relevant info from the original game as he goes so ive sorta pieced together what happens#i definitely see the similarities with danganronpa however corpse party is definitely what i was hoping danganronpa would be#i did do a quick search of it through doesthedogdie and i think i'll be okay!!#there is a lot of fanservice-y stuff in this game so far but like. it can be overlooked for the violence.#<- tag that sounds really bad but i swear im normal please forgive me 😭#also also just a general note: i dont really know anything about corpse party. like. at all. going in blind.#didnt even know there was multiple games. i just kinda assumed it was violent based on the title and that's all i knew going in.#i wont be posting about it/engaging in fandom until AT LEAST finishing this playlist. so we'll see how i feel about it.#unrelated but im getting a jaw spacer fitting in 9hrs and i havent slept yet oops#batty blogging#text
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I've read that Johnny NSFW alphabet like 30 times, it was so gooddddd, there's been no good Johnny Cage smut or writing in general honestly. Your Johnny just feels so in character and you're feeding me crumbs, I need moreeee 🥺🥺🥺🥺 (that sneak peek made me levitate)
Show 'em Who I Belong To
Pairing: Johnny Cage x Reader Synopsis: Johnny has seriously pissed you off this time, like, royally. The "begging on his knees" kind of pissed off. But luckily, he knows just the thing to do to prove he’s sorry. Word Count: 2.58k Playlist: Here's a Johnny Cage playlist to read his smut or just get inspo from, I made it myself TW: Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, Cunnilingus, dom!reader, sub!johnny cage, switch!Reader, switch!johnny cage, dom!johnny cage, sub!Reader, Forgiveness, Making Up, Apology Sex, Vaginal Penetration, Recording, Sex Tapes, Exhibitionism, Begging, Hand Jobs, Grinding, Crying During Sex, johnny cage loves you, johnny cage is just really really dumb, celebrity!reader, No Spoilers, Making Out, "straight" couple, johnny's slutty little slacks, Johnny cage is a little shit, Pussy drunk, cock drunk, Praise Kink, simp johnny cage, no other canon characters show up in this, Smut, Shameless Smut, Gratuitous Smut A/N: Since the poll I put on Tumblr voted for switch!Johnny, that's what I'm doing! This chapter will mostly be sub!johnny and dom!reader with a switch at the end. It's a bit of a mixed pov, but it's mainly from the reader's pov. Nothing but Dom!Johnny in the next chapter and sorry if the quality was lacking, I've slept a total of 10 hours in a span of 72 hours. CHECK OUT THAT JOHNNY NSFW ALPHABET I WROTE, IT'S CONSIDERED CANON TO THIS! Part 2 (tbm) Ao3
Your acrylics tap a beat onto the arm of the plush white couch as you read the tweet on your phone.
" Johnny Cage spotted cozying up on set with Co-Star. Has the star finally met his match? " Your nails stop and you glance at where Johnny kneels fidgeting on the floor in front of you before looking back to the screen.
He spreads his hands. "Okay, I know this looks bad." His voice floats in the otherwise quiet mansion. "But will you please stop ignoring me?"
You look down your nose at him. "Is this enough attention for you?" You sneer and he grimaces.
"My PR team cooked this up a while ago and they've been hounding me about it for ages. It was so unimportant to me that it sorta...slipped my mind." He shrugs and your glare hardens him. " C'mon , babe, it's just a little publicity stunt our agents had us do for the movie. It doesn't mean anything." He laughs and his nonchalance about the situation is pissing you off more than you already are.
"Do I look like I'm laughing?" You fume and his brows furrow. "This isn't funny, Jonathan."
" Oof, " he winces, "government name."
You're both celebrities, you know what you signed up for when you agreed to date him after years and years of his begging and truly horrible pickup lines.
You're not mad about the situation itself, not really. You've gotten into drama before loads of times to drum up hype around a new project, but nothing like this. At least, not while you were dating Johnny.
You're mad that you had to find out about it from the trending page on Twitter along with a slew of concerned messages from your friends, family, and manager.
You scroll down and read messages concerned fans have posted, worried that you and Johnny have broken up or, worse, that he cheated on you. But you know that he knows that you know he wouldn’t dare.
"Look at this shit." You shove your phone in his face. The screen reflects off the sunglasses that sit low on the bridge of his nose and he squints as the brightness nearly blinds him. "'I hope this isn't how she finds out.' 'I'd be so embarrassed if I was her.' 'I knew Johnny wouldn't stay faithful for long.'"
He looks from you to the screen and then back to you. "...You're mad."
You stare down at him.
"You are un- fucking -believable.” You move to stand up, but he grabs ahold of your hips.
"Okay, okay! I'm sorry, I'm sorry ! I didn't mean to upset you. Next time, I'll give you a heads up— I mean I'll run it by you.” Johnny corrects, pulling you closer when you try to pull away again. "What can I do to make it up to you, huh?" The muscles in his biceps flex against you as he wraps his arms around your waist. You try to stay firm, but it's pretty hard when he's pressing reverent kisses to your stomach.
You shiver from the coldness of his rings as he runs a big hand up your calf, traveling up your outer thigh to hook the hem of your dress at your hip before repeating the process up your other leg.
You want to stay mad—you are mad. This is incredibly careless and he didn't consider your feelings at all and...and you don't want him to think he can get out of trouble by kissing up to you. But, begrudgingly, you card your fingers through the short hair at the nape of his neck.
"I'm still really upset about this, Johnny." You frown.
"I know, sweetheart. And I really am sorry. But, hey! I know something that'll make us both feel better." He grins up at you and you let him lead you back to the couch with a huff, dropping down once the back of your calves brush the white upholstery.
“I’m sure you do.” You roll your eyes, spreading your legs to make room for him without thinking. “How would you —ahh !” You yelp at the sudden pinprick of pain on the skin of your inner thigh and it morphs into a moan when the pinch is quickly followed by a warm heat. You look down in time to see the pink of Johnny’s tongue as he licks over the tender spot—tender because he bit you like a damn dog!
“I’m sorry, what were you saying? I couldn’t really hear you over all those cute little noises.” You can feel the shit-eating grin against your skin as he talks. “You’re so sensitive. Definitely not a complaint—it does amazing things to my ego.” He laughs, hooking his hands under the back of your knees and pushing your legs up until the heels of your feet are balancing precariously on the edge of the seat.
He grips your hips, pulling you further down the couch and closer to his face. He moves your legs so your feet rest on his shoulders, the white polish of your toenails reflecting the light.
He leans in and you hold your breath in anticipation. You don’t want him to think he can just distract you and you’ll forget about being mad at him but—he leans in close to where the skirt of your sundress rucks up around your stomach, warm breath making you clench around nothing with each pant—but you like getting ate out almost as much as Johnny likes to do it.
You sigh as the warm, wet heat of his tongue drags across the damp seat of your panties.
" Johnny. " You whine in frustration, fingers tightening in his sandy hair, as he pulls away as quickly as he came.
"Hold on, sweetheart. I think you're gonna like this." He grins, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. You pause as he unlocks it and presents it to you, camera on and recording you.
"What the hell are you doing?" You try to push as much disapproval into your voice as you can as you flip it from the front-facing camera to the rear one, but that’s an almost impossible task since he’s rubbing his nose up and down the crease of where your thigh meets your pussy. You end up sounding far more breathy than intended.
"What?” He grins into the camera. “You can watch this whenever you need a reminder of who I belong to." He says and if you weren't wet before, you definitely are now.
For as long as you’ve known him, Johnny has never been one to half-ass anything . It’s whole ass or nothing with him putting 110% into everything he’s faced with. However, when you first started dating, you hadn’t thought that would hold up when he had his head between your legs—yet another thing Johnny went out of his way to prove you wrong about.
The camera captures it the moment he pushes your panties to the side; he’s in his element.
There’s no preamble, no warning. Johnny dives in giving you no time to prepare for the shock of pleasure. You jerk away, but he holds onto your hips, hands becoming heavy weights you can’t lift.
“You always taste so good for me, it’s insane.” He groans as your thighs try to squeeze his head, but he keeps them open easily. You sigh shakily at the casual show of strength. “I’d stay down here forever if you’d let me.” You bite your lip to muffle your soft moans, reminding yourself to steady the phone every few seconds, but forgetting to do so almost as soon as you do. But you can’t be blamed when Johnny gives head like he’s training for the Olympics; trying to break his previous record each attempt. You’ve been eaten out by people other than Johnny—of course, you have. It’s a requirement—but none of your past lovers come anywhere close to this. Johnny blows them out of the water every time.
That would be fine if you didn’t factor in his ego. Which would also be fine…any other day. But today, after the shit he pulled, you aren’t in the mood. This is supposed to be his way of apologizing, after all. So before he can get any ideas, you blink past the haze he’s put you in and grab the back of his neck. His back stiffens. He glances up at you and the shift is so swift that you doubt the camera even picked it up. His shoulders relax, almost limp against you, wide eyes going lidded as his grip on you softens.
“I know you can be louder than that, Johnny. I, hah , wanna hear how sorry you are. You are sorry, right?” You narrow your eyes.
His words are muffled since he refuses to take his mouth off of you, but you’re able to make out ‘yes’ and ‘princess’ which is good enough for you. Through the camera, you manage to get his pleading eyes and his hand unabashedly palming his bulge in the same frame and you smile around a moan.
"Are you hard, Johnny?" He doesn't hesitate to nod enthusiastically, and you feel yourself throb in his mouth. You're sure if your feet were on the ground he'd be grinding against your leg shamelessly. His body knows this too since his hips keep making aborted little thrusts, itching for relief from his tight gray slacks. "Heh, of course, you are. You can't help yourself, c–can you? Go on, then.”
He pauses, assessing you for a second to see if you’ll follow it up with anything else. You’re being surprisingly benevolent. He always has to work to earn your approval when you get like this, any pleasure he gets is dictated by you—not that he’s complaining—and that’s on the days when he hasn’t pissed you off. He honestly didn’t think he’d be cumming tonight, but he won’t look a gift horse in the mouth.
He buries his tongue in you, licking from your pulsing hole to your throbbing clit as his hands work to unbuckle his belt and pull his dick out. He groans in relief once he’s free, squeezing the base of his dick so he doesn’t cum too quickly. You’re certainly not helping, shivering against him like a house in a storm and he moans in synch with you when you yank on his hair.
He freezes at the press of sharp nails at the nape of his neck. He shivers at the slight pinch of pain before leaning into it and you reward him with smoothing down the hair there. He stops the movement of his hands, but not his mouth.
“If you’re touching yourself, you’ll do it slowly or not at all. You wanna make it up to me, don’t you? Yeah ?” You hiss as he nods against you, mouth a tight suction on your clit. “Then you don’t cum until I do.” Normally he’s more bratty than this, making you fuck the submission out of him, but he must really be sorry because he does just as you say. He slows down as you instruct, his sharp brows furrowing as one of his hands grip the fat of your thigh. His other hand jerks him off haltingly like he actively has to remind himself to obey you.
“You’re being so good for me, baby.” You gush, squirming in his hold. “ Mmh, s’fucking good.” You have to adjust your grip on his phone when he grunts at your praise, uncertain if you should jerk away or towards the vibrations. You run your nails over his scalp before yanking on his blond hair and he moans like a pornstar, hips thrusting into his hand. To the untrained eye—or ear—it seems like he’s playing it up for the camera, performing, but he’s always this loud. Especially when he’s got your pussy in his mouth.
It's almost embarrassing, the wet sounds of Johnny sloppily eating you out. Your moans mix with his and bounce around the mansion's walls with a filthy echo the longer this goes on.
He stiffens his tongue and you know what he wants. You move your hand to the back of his head, gripping the soft strands to pull him forward. You thrust your hips with helpless, heady moans as you fuck his face. His heavy gaze burns through the camera to stare up at you with his tongue out. The corner of his mouth quirks up into a smirk and he winks. You throw your head back, eyes closed with an obscene moan and he moves forward to press his nose against your clit, tongue flat as you move his head side to side.
“Johnny , mmh, ‘m gonna, f– fuck, ‘m gonna cum!” You cry and he moans into you in response. You glance down to see his foggy glasses riding low on his nose and he stares right back, brown eyes half open but full of lust. The apples of his flushed cheeks become accentuated, sharpening with his grin. The barest hint of teeth brush your clit before pressing against it and you jerk back with the strength of your orgasm. Your mouth falls open with a repeated whine of his name, legs shaking as you hold his head still.
“Damn.” He curses, pulling away when your muscles untense. He doesn't bother wiping his mouth, wearing your slick like a trophy as he smiles into the camera. “Should’ve got that on camera. It was a money shot.” You scoff, smiling despite yourself. You pull his glasses off and sit them on your head before you press stop on the camera and toss the phone on the couch beside you, pulling him to you by the open collar of his button-up. You kiss him deep, tasting yourself on his tongue with a groan. His hands go to your hips and you wrap your legs around his waist, licking into his mouth.
“You played dirty.” You slide your hand down his chest, unbuttoning his shirt as you go. You grab his dick, still hard and leaking against his stomach. He laughs before whimpering into your mouth at your touch, rutting up into it. You swipe a thumb across his tip where precum drips down the underside of the head. "You're so wet, baby. This all for me?" You pull away to lick yourself off him, tongue dragging across the skin of his chin as you twist your wrist with every upward stroke.
"Are you joking? O–of course. Can, shit , can you blame me?” He puffs into your neck, hot air warming your neck as you alternate between licking and kissing his jaw. His fingers spasm around your hips, and your hands fly to his shoulders when he pulls you forward until your ass is barely on the edge of the couch. Now he’s in the perfect position to—
You gasp as he ruts against you, still sensitive as his dick slides between your pussy lips. There’s no friction with how wet you both are and with every upwards thrust he bumps your twitching clit.
“Wait, I’m— mmnh —Johnny, I’m sensitive.”
“Ah, ah, sweetheart. You said I can cum when you do,” you jump when he nips at your neck, strong arms wrapping around your back holding you tight to him. “Besides, I’m not done apologizing.” You rock against him despite your complaining. The overwhelming feeling only increases when he bends over you to reach something, and it’s enough to distract you from the sound a phone makes when you press record.
#johnny cage#3d wifey answers#johnny cage x reader#mk1 johnny cage#johnny cage smut#sub!johnny cage#mk smut#mk1 smut#mk1 x reader#mk x reader#dom!reader#mortalkombat#mortal kombat#mortal kombat 1
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Reader x Vampire!Kate at a halloween party where reader thinks Kate is just a hot girl in a really good vampire costume (instead of those crappy fake plastic teeth) and doesn’t realize until Kate is buried deep inside her, strap and teeth, that she just is an actual vampire
Hunger
Pairing: Vampire! Kate Bishop x GN! Reader
Summary: A fun hook up turns your life upside down.
Dark Angst, Smut 18+ ONLY! Minors & Men, DNI!!
Warnings: Top! Kate, Strap On Use, Oral (R Receiving), Fingering (R Receiving), Mentions of Blood, Kinda Murder? But also, Not? Mentions of drinking | 1.5K
AC: Thank you for sending this! I hope you enjoy! x
October Special Masterlist 2024
The room was vibrant with different costumes, small talk and chilling laughter. With a drink in your hand, your eyes were locked on the tall dark-haired woman from afar. You watched as she mingled with those around her while she sipped on the drink in the red plastic cup in her hand, just wondering who she was. Unable to take your eyes off her, you were glad you decided to go with dressing up as Wednesday Addams with some of the compliments you received from people passing by you.
“Your costume looks great! You’re killing it with that stare too!” One would comment, making you break character to give them a light chuckle and a thank you before your eyes would drift back to the unknown woman. With a few more sips of your drink, you decided to talk to her. Walking through the small crowd of people, you finally greeted her with a soft smile.
“I like your costume” you said, now closer to her you were able to really take in the detail she had put into the outfit. Her long cloak from afar looked black but up close you could tell it was a dark purple, the inside was a shade of lighter purple. “It’s the best I’ve seen here tonight” you added as she turned around to face you. Her purple vest stood out perfectly against the black shirt she wore underneath, you liked the fact she didn’t go for the standard black and red vampire look.
“Thank you” she smiled, “your costume is great! Can never go wrong with Wednesday” she added with a light chuckle. You couldn’t help notice how high quality her fangs were, they looked natural as if she was born with them.
“Oh this? Thanks! I just threw it together last minute”
“You must be one of many talents then” the woman whose blue eyes danced with the fairy lights that hung from the roof, smiled softly. “I’m Kate” she added.
“Y/n, this might be a little too forward but forgive me, can I get you a drink?” You offered. Kate nodded, “you’re in luck, I just finished mine”
You gave Kate a soft smile before you wandered over to the drinks table and pour the two of you a fresh drink before returning to her.
“So, Y/n, do you always stare at people at parties?” Kate asked, taking you by surprise.
“Oh, I’m so sorry” you said with light laughter, “I really was admiring the details of your costume. I thought I did a somewhat decent job at not making it obvious that I was staring” you add.
“It’s more of like a sixth sense, but I’m glad you like my costume” Kate smiled, easing your worries that you might have scared her off. The tips of her fangs piercing over her bottom lip gave you another reason to admire them once more before the soft sound of the next radio hit song started to play in the background. Kate’s head naturally starts bopping to the tune, “would you like to dance?” You asked.
“You dance, do you?” She questioned.
“Not the best but I’m pretty sure nobody will notice that since most people are already tipsy or drunk” you replied with a light chuckle.
“Maybe your moves will cover up my horrible moves then” Kate smiled once more before the two of you moved away from the corner of the room.
The cheap LED light strips flicker between red and orange colors, Kate’s hands placed on your hips while you twirl in her hands. She pulls you closer into her allowing you to press yourself up against her, there’s no point in acting as though you didn’t feel the packing bulge in her black jeans. You look up at her with a soft smirk, “sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you” Kate whispers, playfully.
“It’s a good startle” you replied.
You move together, losing themselves to the music, your bodies swaying in perfect harmony. The environment around you fades like magic as if it’s just you and Kate in the room. She leans down slightly from behind you, “do you wanna get out of here?” She whispers closely to your ear. You nodded softly with a growing smile on your lips.
----
Your soft moans filled the room of Kate’s studio apartment, one hand tangled in her hair while the other gripped the black silk sheets of her bed. Her tongue swirling around your clit while two fingers pumped in and out of you. “G-god!” You moaned, throwing your head back, “don’t s-stop!” You added as Kate began to lap at your soaked cunt, removing her fingers to dive her tongue inside you.
“F-fuck!” The word left your lips between moans, Kate’s tongue speeding up, pulling you closer and closer to the edge. Your heartbeat fastened, your back began to arch, you were close until she stopped, teasingly.
“Hey!” You groaned as Kate kissed up your body to your neck and finishing at your lips. “I just want to see how pretty you look for me when I sunk myself into you” she spoke while she leant back and began to undo her belt. Your cunt throbbed for more, your hand wandering down to touch yourself only to be pushed away by the brunette, “don’t you dare” she said, her eyes flickering up at you as she finally released her purple strap from her jeans.
She slid the tip of the fake cock between your wet folds, making you moan once more when she brushed over your clit before slowly sinking into you. She allowed you a moment to adjust to her but with the alcohol in your system and her hovering over you with her deep blue eyes, you couldn’t help yourself by pulling her down to your lips and kissing her.
“Please move” you smiled sweetly against her lips before she began to move her hips. She started slowly, capturing your every soft moan and the way your eyes slightly rolled back while she pumped in and out of you. “God, I bet you taste so sweet” she groaned as she sped up her movements.
You didn’t catch onto her words as she lent down, placing kisses on your neck. The blood rushing through your veins making her run her tongue over her lips with hunger while she continued to leave marks on your neck. Your nails digging into her naked and cold back, drawing small lines of blood as Kate drew back her fake cock just to thrust it back into you.
The feeling of the tips of her fangs brushing against your neck made you throw your head back ever so slightly, allowing her more access to your neck. One of Kate’s hands found yours, interlocking fingers with you just as you arched your back, pressing up against her. She couldn’t take it for a second longer, her fangs fully exposed before the sunk into your neck at the perfect timing. Your orgasm took over your body, your legs shook, locking Kate in place by wrapping them around her waist.
The warm and velvety taste of your blood quickly became addictive to the vampire. The sharp pain of her fangs sucking your blood straight from the source overlooked with pleasure. Your soft moans in her ear making her crave more, sinking her fangs deeper before you were shortly hit with horror as she sucked the life from you. Like letting the air of a balloon free, you felt her stealing your blood, her strong body keeping you from pushing her off. Your nails digging deeper into the skin of her back as your vision faded to a cold darkness.
It took every bone in her ice-cold body to stop herself from killing you completely. She pulled back, the last precious drops of your blood falling from her fangs, staining the sides of her lips before she licked them clean and with care, she slowly pulled out of you before she took off her strap and left the room to grab a warm washcloth. She cleaned you up thoroughly, placing an ice pack over the bite mark where her fangs once were before she sat in the armchair in the corner of her room.
She often found herself sitting here and watching another busy street in New York crowding with people but this time, her chair was facing her bed. The faint and slow sounds of your heart beating made her wonder why she hadn’t put you out of your misery completely. Your blood a curse to her, she would never be able to taste you like this again.
With every passing minute, your heartbeat got closer until eventually Kate was sitting in complete silence. Her eyes glued to you as you began to wake up, your eyes now a deep red as you looked around the unfamiliar room before you sat up. Kate smiled softly as she watched the red in your eyes fade to a pot of honey like color, your mouth opened slightly to speak, “I know sweet thing” Kate said before any words could leave your lips.
“You’re hungry” she added.
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#yelenasdiary asks#anon#fanfiction#marvel#Kate bishop#Kate Bishop x reader#Kate bishop x you#Kate Bishop smut#kinktober
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What do you like about jc? Why he is your favorite?
Anon, this has been sitting in my inbox because I was afraid to open this can of worms. I've rotated this character nonstop for, like, the past three years. I got on Tumblr because of this character. I'm not even that wild about MDZS as a novel! I'm a SVSSS main! I don't know how I ended up here!
He loves his nephew so much. I love what we get about Jiang Cheng's relationship with Jin Ling, who had what was probably an indescribably weird childhood, but who has never once thought to himself that his uncle didn't love him. Jin Ling is evidently spoiled and rude but also so genuinely courageous, forgiving, and loving in his horrible teenage way. I love these two and they love each other!
He's dutiful. I think people sometimes think of duty as a burden, and obviously it can be, but I also think of it as an expression of care towards others. He sincerely cares about his responsibilities, which include all of the people who joined the Jiang sect to follow him.
He's supremely competent. We see the poor guy fail a lot, but he restored a massacred sect to Great Sect status in 13-15 years with what seems like no familial support and no apparent close external connections. He must be really, really good at his job.
He's such a bitch. He's here to make things hard and unpleasant on purpose! He's witty and will say the meanest possible thing he can think of in a fight! Just like his mother, he can sense your insecurities like a bloodhound and tear into them at will! I think this is a good and endearing quality (for a character, obviously).
He is profoundly screwed by the narrative. Dude is, as @winepresswrath puts it, "ontologically cursed." He exists to fail. His creator made him the most determined little toaster and then put him in 1000 unwinnable situations. He is trapped in, like, a bespoke torment matrix, that he only really escapes at the end of canon (dignity in tatters but nephew in hand).
Killer style in CQL and maybe also the donghua from what I've seen of the gifs? Fashionable king. Deeply uncool despite the drip, which endears him to me more.
Wang Zhuocheng's crying face. Yes, it's that gif set again. It haunts my dreams.
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my yandere!leon headcanons so far MDNI
hello! these are just a few headcanons i had about leon as a yandere and a person in general. there is nsfw below the cut, so MINORS AND AGELESS BIOS FUCK OFF ‼ also feel free to send me your thoughts on yandere!leon and your personal headcanons if you have any!!
xx
sfw
⟢ he's self-aware that what he's done to you is horrible. he knows you have every right to hate him, but that doesn't stop him from wishing you would love him back. he never meant to hurt or deceive you, but he's lost and given too much. leon wants someone to come home to, share a meal with, and feel needed and wanted. to receive a sliver of what he's given out. so forgive him if he's being selfish when it comes to you, but he deserves happiness too. so why not help him play house?
⟢ smells of bergamot and lavender. it’s nice and relaxing, but also musky and woodsy. he read somewhere that lavender calms the nerves, so he just absolutely lathers himself in the scent. Sometimes you swear he smells like sleep personified. unfortunately, he’s still a man, so he uses old spice lavender body wash. for cologne, he uses sauvage by dior.
⟢ normalcy is hard. how can anyone go back into society as if the amount of horrors you’ve seen, aren’t there? like you’re fine and everything is fine? so, leon has found a pretty good remedy, company. each friday, a sit down dinner with claire, chris, and jill. pizza, wings, and beer every sunday with chris watching whatever football game is on. sometimes they may not know the current standings of teams, but it’s fun to pretend that they do. yet friends can only fill the void so much, maybe with you, the world won’t feel so lonely.
⟢ he has a major sweet tooth! likes his coffee with cream and sugar, won’t drink his coffee black unless he really needs it. leon will always have room for dessert lmao. has tried to bake, but he just doesn’t got it 💀something just always goes wrong. a big ice cream/frozen yogurt guy. once a month, leon will make a “everything under the kitchen sink” sundae. he’ll dump whatever pints of ice cream into a large bowl and top it off with whatever candy, syrup, and whip topping he has. leon is usually on a very strict diet, so why not splurge?
⟢ leon on his off time has taught himself how to smoke/grill meat. only knows how to make small side dishes to go with the meat that he’s made. mashed potatoes and grilled veggies are usually his two favorite go-to sides.
⟢ i'm a firm believer that leon's receiving love languages are quality time and words of affirmation with a hint of acts of service. leon works a lot, whether at the office or away on another mission, this poor, tired man is always working. so when he's home be prepared to be attached at the hip. leon also has a lot of self-doubt and guilt about what he's done to you, so by telling him how much you love and appreciate him, it feeds his growing delusion that what he's done is necessary. you need him just as much as he needs you. it also adds to the reassurance when you do small things for him to show your love and appreciation, whether it’s real or not. like cleaning and folding his laundry, making him a cup of coffee in the morning, back rubs after a long day, or even packing his lunch for the day.
i’m giggling at the thought of leon keeping all the small notes you add to his lunch, reading them when the day gets tough. or maybe he has one or two in a go-bag when he has to take small out-of-state trips for work.
⟢ building off the one before, he won't admit it but he's clingy. he prefers showers, but will choose a bath if it means he gets a small intimate moment with you in the morning. not in a sexual sense, more in a “let’s bask in each other’s presence”. never sits across from you at a table or booth, always next to you. same thing for the couch. there could be a thousand pillows on the bed, but he always chooses yours. leon will also never lets you sleep facing any windows/doors for security reasons. there is no such thing as personal space with this man.
⟢ since leon is a yandere his reciprocating love language is all of them. he wants you to stay with him, so he is willing to drown you in his love until it's the only thing you'll ever know. i'm going to break this down a little in sections.
⟡ leon isn't the best when it comes to choosing the words that relay how he feels. the words feel wrong and it leaves him awkward. so any sort of verbal praise from him is rare. the most you would get from him is a thumbs up and a "sure" or a pat on the back with a nod.
(😀👍🏻 <— leon fr) but, put a piece of paper infront of this man and all of a sudden he's writing words that’ll make shakespear blush. it's words so sickly sweet it gives you a toothache. leon really hates himself for not being able to verbal relay this to you, but maybe you can feel what he wants to say?
⟡ leon is just really good at showing you how he feels than telling you. I KNOW THIS MAN WOULD GIVE THE BEST HUGS BECAUSE HE SO DESPERATELY NEEDS ONE. just imagining leon giving you a bear hug, fully enveloping you, and he can't help but hold you a little closer. maybe even holds your head a little more to him. his eyes are closed, soaking up the loving moment, he might even do a little sigh of relief. because with you, he's safe. with you, he's loved. and he just wants you to feel the love he has for you through every action. to feel what he can't say. (SORRY I GOT OFF TRACK!!) leon also always has to be touching you in some way. his favorite places for kisses; nose, cheek, neck, or hand. every morning, when he's holding you close, he'll leave small repeated kisses on your neck until you wake up giggling. not really into lip kisses, but will sometimes start a lazy make out session. just loves holding you whenever he can and making sure you feel loved at all times.
⟡ leon will also do the most for you. having a hard time sleeping? he's awake with you, lightly scratching your back in small circles or holding you close while he's running his fingers through your hair. leon just can't sleep knowing that you're having a hard time sleeping. hungry but don't want to cook? he's in the kitchen cheffing it up. putting love in every plate that he makes you, even if it isn't restaurant quality. i feel like leon will also leave you small notes around the house in places that you would find, but it's little drawings instead of words. in the slow cooker, a picture of a flower. in between the dryer sheets, a bad stick figure drawing of what you think is of you and him. at some random page of the book you're reading, a simple heart.
⟡ leon loves spending time with you. it doesn't matter what it is, even if you're doing nothing. he wants to do nothing with you. his favorite thing to do with you is listen to you. whether you’re rambling about the latest tv drama he knows nothing about or it’s late at night and you’re reading whatever book you’ve picked up. he loves being in the kitchen when you’re cooking/baking. he’s your dedicated sous chef, so feel free to boss him around like your gordon ramsay. although, i’m so sorry for the amount of “my name is sue” jokes he’ll make. loves watching movies, putting together legos/ doing diy crafts, and playing mario kart.
I NOTICED THIS WAS GETTING LONG AND IDK IF I EXPLAINED THIS WELL BUT IM HOPING I DID. THIS WAS SOOOO SELF INDULGENT.
⟢ when it comes to pet names, leon will add a “my” to the start of it. he’s possessive and it shows in his actions. will often say: my girl, my sweetheart, my baby, my angel, etc.
nsfw (i’m not good at smut sorry)
⟢ the praise problem does not equate to what happens in the bedroom. i'm sorry, i just simply refuse. a complete 180, he's a talker. whether it's saying something so outlandishly lewd like he wants the whole world to hear or sickly sweet nothings in your ear, this dude will NOT stfu. (and it makes me giggle and kick my feet) I WILL PUT MY LIFE ON THE LINE AND SAY THAT THIS MAN IS ABSOLUTELY FERAL IN BED. he's always stressed. from his job, from the lack of self care, from the past that just never seems to leave him. he's on edge. he has healthy ways of releasing it, but sometimes the gym or extra training isn't enough.
⟢ which can lead to leon being a little mean in bed. he’s absolutely degrading the life out of you while also giving you whiplash with the praise that he gives you as well. leon is a lot more aggressive and at some point you’re just a fleshlight to him. spanking, choking, biting, spitting, you name it, it is on the table. also licking whatever drool comes out of his mouth makes him lose his mind fr.
⟢ i'm not good at writing smut, but i do have an idea of what i think leon's favorite sex positions would be. the first one would be mating press. it's extremely intimate and it allows him to be close to your face and neck than the regular missonary position. again, he really gets off knowing that he's the one getting you off. another postition would be cowgirl, it gives him full view of your chest and face, except you're not really riding him. again, he just using you as a fleshlight like giving you the perception that you’re in control. another would be you on your belly and him basically putting you in a headlock. IDK WHAT IT’S CALLED BUT IF YKYK. and leon just saying the most down right atrocious things in your ear would make me go crazy.
YOU’RE GONNA SIT THERE AND TELL ME YOU DON’T WANT HIS HUGE ARMS AROUND YOUR NECK, YOU’RE INSANE.
⟢ last but not least, ✨moaning✨. i like to think that he’s a grunter and whiner at the same time. idk if that makes any sense? he’s loud but not obscenely loud. but sometimes when he overstimulates himself, he’s a complete whiner like lovi (again if ykyk).
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Xuexiao Art Shoutout ^-^
It will be soon 2 years since I asked for my first art commission ever, after months of wanting to do so, but being deathly scared by it.
What if I ask it wrong, what if I don't like it, what if I pay but then it is a scam, what if it's too expensive and I have to back away in shame, what IF these are all my fears and I didn't even know any reliable artists or had asked any mutuals for tips or recs.
What motivated me for the big step forward was me writing a gift fic for someone very dear to me, which featured a piece of art within the story itself. It seemed so fitting, to make art for it. I held my heart in courage and dared to ask an artist I had seen here, in tumblr.
This artist was @wrathyforest.
Now, I don't remember anymore why I choose them. Probably I saw some xuexiao fanart by them that I liked, or saw somewhere that they were available for commissions, but the thing is with trembling hands I wrote a long dm asking about whether they would accept to draw an art such and such. This turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made in this website.
For the last two years, I've had the privilege of receiving more artwork by them, all xuexiao (because my BELOVEDS!!!) and all of exceptional quality and deep understanding of the characters. This is why now I want to make a little shoutout to these works, and to the process that went into asking them, in part to show other people how engaging, fascinating and rewarding it is to commission artist.
This is (with ONE exception) my little xuexiao art collection. Have at it!
Family portrait
My first art commission ever. My heart goes with it! This is the aforementioned art for the fic To carry a bit of yesterday, written for @itellmyselfsecrets97 and which features the Yi City trio going to make a portrait of themselves.
This was also very special to me, since it was only my second xuexiao fic ever written, and the first that was a self-contained oneshot. It must have left an impact, it remains a well-loved fic to the point that a fic was written from it (The Tell-Tale Art by @fieri-sentio-et-excrucior).
I explained the artist what I needed from it, gave the full paragraph in the fic where they were described, and pointed out little details to adjust once the first draft was show to me (Forest, forgive me for being so picky with Xiao Xingchen's legs). I cried with the results.
My second commission came a few months later, with a pic for another work of art...
Defenseless
Now that I see you is an amazing fic by @10holmes with the incredibly exciting premise of a non-visually impaired Xiao Xingchen coming across Xue Yang, on the brink of death and... completely honest-to-god amnesiac.
I had followed this long project (still ongoing) for months, and had left some comments to the author, but at some point this sparse comments became a conversation, and the conversation a deep friendship... And there was a specific bit of their fic that remains one of my absolute favourite non-canon xuexiao moments.
Cue the art. In this occasion, I really wanted to make this as accurate and true to my feelings as possible, so not only did I send a detailed explanation and context (I would NOT expect the poor artist to read 30 chapters of a fic just for a commission!!), but also I made a little sketch. Me, who can't draw a smiley without botching it!
See if you can spot the difference:
You can imagine my shame and mortification to show this horrible doodle to any other human being, BUT the artist actually said this helped a lot to understand the positions, the intention, the expressions even, so it was a good call. I lost my fear of giving directions like that, and I have more-or-less tried to for all my other asks ^-^
The end result of this particular story is this and this:
My next commission was for something a bit more selfish.
Daozhang in a veil
I had in mind a story the premise of which was purely an excuse to put Xiao Xingchen in a dress, and what better than to have visual of that? The fic is called A Comedy of Yi City Errors, a light-hearted xuexiao adventure very fun to write and (I'm told) to read.
Once more, I made quite an explanation and provided a little sketch.
ANd once again, despite the terrible example, the concept that I wanted to send was received well enough and delivering again wonderful results. Look!!! <3 <3 <3
I love them so much.
Around the same time, I decided to make two gifts for what were then becoming my closest friends in this fandom (I think that must have been around some important festival or something) so I asked for these lovely pics next:
Prisoner Xiao Xingchen
Art for the fic The Prisoner of Jinlintai by @fieri-sentio-et-excrucior, which is a treasure I recommend for anyone who loves canon divergence and enemies-to-lovers done just right!
And this:
Mermaid Hunter Xue Yang
The beautiful mermaid AU Down in the Black Sea by @10holmes, which is cute beyond compare and inspired another fic I wrote in which I brought that pirate and merman couple to sneak into Versailles. Random anecdote is random.
Anyways, this last one didn't come with a sketch, but I MUST show you my rendition of Xue Yang by the cell door for the earlier fic >w< and the first sketch they did, which is unbelievably cute. See if you can tell which is which.
See? Completely undistinguishable! XD
As for the next, this is a cute little piece I commissioned to celebrate a beautiful friendship.
Under the rain
One of the first xuexiao fics I remember reading was The Taste of Rain on Skin, and once I had the opportunity to meet its author, I could not let something so special pass. Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen look so lovely in this one, so lively and happy and free...
By the way! Notice from my sketch that the artist was the one who made me realize... uhm... Xue Yang should NOT be holding Xiao Xingchen with his left hand, right?? XD So the running direction was reversed >w<
Well, what I want to show you next is something truly exceptional
Pleasure Yang
Not long ago, i was unbelievably surprised with a gift by a group of co-conspiracists I will call... Lionforest. no... Wrathyfish. Hm. It was an amazing surprise, which made me incredibly happy. Art for one of my fics!!! And a very sexy one, at that!!!!! >w<
Just, just look a it!
Look at that cheeky Xue Yang! Xiao Xingchen's fascination with that sexy ruffian!! Song Lan's discombobulated face! This is no more, no less, what I had in mind when I wrote Gentle breeze, cold frost, sweet crimson drizzle, and I could not be happier for it if I tried.
Thank you, you two ❤️❤️
And now... the last pic was spicy. The next is Wei Wuxian-approved congee.
Ok next, the spicy goodies >w<
There is a certain piece of art I still am keeping in my pocket, which one day I hope to use for a spicy Xuexiao fic. At any rate, it is another masterpiece by Wrathyforest and it deserves to see the light of day, finally.
I swear, every time I look at them, they feel so alive. The details!!! The expressions! The obvious and wonderful love! The other things this picture has to offer, omfg the first time I saw it, it was PERFECT!!!
(before you ask, yes. This also has a sketch XD)
In conclusion
I hope you have enjoyed my little collection. Look at all the xuexiao art we have, and from one incredible talented artist. I am over the moon with every single one of these pieces!
Artists deserve so much love and admiration. Greet your local artist, comment on their content, even if it's just a random keysmash, I can tell you as a writer that seeing these kinds of notifications are soul-repairing.
And if you take the step forward and talk to them, (and you SHOULD!! don't be shy, it is really engaging to get in a conversation!), I can guarantee you that you will make a person's whole day.
This is me, showing appreciation for this lovely art. Share it, comment it, love it. The love and passion we all share in fandom is fragile, but it is also so, so precious.
#mdzs#the untamed#mo dao zu shi#cql#xue yang#xiao xingchen#xuexiao#mdzs art#mdzs fanart#xuexiao art#xiaoxue art
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Holy moly, your last story had me feeling feelings.
The sentence about the unborn baby being jealous got me thinking tho, what if their kid inherited some of Donna's possessive traits, like always wanting to be by y/n's side, much to the chagrin of poor Donna, who hasn't been able to cuddle reader at night without a (sometimes two) little body wiggling into their bed. And as their daughter grows, she kinda sees Donna as a threat, someone who takes her moms attention away. Donna doesn't rightly know how to deal with the feeling of love for her child, and annoyance at not having reader for themselves.
UNTIL one day when reader and child is taking a walk through the forest, and a couple of men comes up and threatens them, only for mama Donna to turn up and rescue them. Both Donna and her daughter have a revelation that day: Donna from how scared she would be if anything happened to both her love and her child, and daughter from how she now sees Donna as her mama too, who would always protect and love her. And they make an unspoken pact about protecting reader always xD
You don't have to write this if you don't want to, I just got the mama Donna brainrot lol
Thanks for feeding us starving queers some quality Donna content
Yesss!!!! Thank you for your words, and for your request! I'm glad to read you enjoyed that one!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!! :))))
A long road to motherhood
Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader
Warnings: G!P Donna (implied), slightly dark themes, Donna's POV
Word count: 7,112
Summary: How I can be jealous of my own daughter?
N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! This is a sequel to this one!!! I love you all!!! :))
As they say, time heals wounds.
After almost losing you, after seeing how life became more and more distant from your sight, I was able to get you back.
A miracle, the sign that my sins were forgiven, I couldn't say what exactly it was. I have always thought that coincidence doesn’t exist, even when I met you, a bad deed that was rewarded, a trip to hell of having you immobile in a bed. I could never forget the two weeks when I almost lost you, when my whole world almost collapsed, because of me.
But no, life stopped torturing me, you woke up, you woke up wanting to make me feel good, to forgive me, to continue loving me as I didn't think you did.
If I had to keep a memory in my mind, only one, I would choose the moment in which I turned my head and saw your eyes open, your sweet look from that stretcher, life shining in your eyes again, looking at me.
I made an effort not to torture myself, to not let the nightmares make my nights impossible. It could be because I was still mentally ill, I couldn't separate myself from what life had given me, but I had to be strong. It was no longer you and me. There was someone, someone much more important to care for, someone to fight day and night for with my demons, with my jealousy, with my stupid and sick way of being: our daughter, Giovanna.
Born from my mistakes, from my pathological possessiveness, that girl represented everything pure that was missing in my life. My family, our family had been formed thanks to the biggest mistake of my life, thanks to that horrible afternoon in which I took what I thought was mine.
Luckily, the girl kept me away from your screams of terror, from the way you resisted my actions. Little by little I began to forget it, especially when I saw that childish smile in the girl's eyes. She had no hard feelings. If her birth was a mistake, it would be the best one in my life.
Maybe not the way she was conceived, but I could feel proud of the change that little Giovanna Beneviento made in our lives. I almost lost you because of my selfishness, but I got you back because... Well, I couldn't say why exactly. Maybe you forgave me, maybe you never could. I didn't know, with you it was impossible to know.
The years passed, the girl grew up and with her everything we had formed by chance, because of me, settled into routine, like a new way of living, of caring, of loving...
“Asleep,” you said amused, entering the bedroom, closing the door, wearing that smile on your face, the one I didn't think I deserved.
Luck smiles on the wicked, it smiled on me, the luck of having you, of having you and our daughter. I was not worthy of such honor, such light that had appeared in the darkness of my life.
“She’s alright?” I asked, getting under the covers. You nodded, motioning with your thumb, joining me.
“Yes, she's with Angie,” you answered, kissing me quickly. I frowned, with an amused look.
“That doesn't answer my question,” I whispered, kissing her shoulder, thanking with my lips that you never left, that all my flaws seemed like just an illusion to you.
“Well, I told her the story of the princess and the eel, it is her favorite,” you said with an interesting look. I shook my head, laughing at that attitude you had, that attitude that didn't disappear even in your worst moments. I didn't deserve you.
“The princess and the frog,” I corrected, narrowing my eye, with a sinister smile. You laughed, disapproving of my correction with a wave of your hand and a tired sigh.
“No, no, Donna,” you whispered, with a mocking tone. “You heard me correctly. Eel.”
“What difference does it make?” I asked curiously, admiring your imagination, your ability to make Giovanna fall asleep every night with those made-up stories. Only you could do it.
“Oh, I'm glad you’ve asked me...” you whispered, darkening your voice, making me pay more attention to you. “Well, when the princess kisses the toad, it becomes a prince, right?”
I nodded, listening to you with curiosity, trying not to let my eye go to the scar on your arm, the one that showed the worst two weeks of my life, the ones in which I was on the verge of losing you, because of me.
“Well, in my story, when the princess kisses the eel, the prize is… an electric tickle attack!” you said loudly, attacking me mercilessly, running over my body with your restless hands, making me laugh involuntarily.
“(Y/N)...” I said, grabbing your wrists to end your torture.
“Do you like my story?” you asked, climbing onto my lap, with that shine in your eyes that made me tremble, get excited. You were so perfect, so sweet... So... Fiery.
“Is that the end?” I asked, hugging your body, keeping it close to mine, rocking it. You pretended to think about the answer, which came in the form of a tender, but hot kiss on my lips, one that made me sigh.
“Well, that's the all-audiences ending,” you purred in my ear, forcing my hands to scratch the fabric of your pajamas as a result of the subtle but perceptible movement of your hips against mine.
“Is there an alternative ending?” I asked with a low voice, impatiently putting my hand in your pants, keeping your gaze, which drifted to my lap while you nodded.
“Yes, but it can't be told,” you whispered, reacting to my touch with erratic movements of your body.
“Maybe you can show it to me,” I said, with a smile close to your lips, noticing your nervous breathing, your desire to love me once again, to let yourself be loved, this time for real, that time without arguments, without terrible ideas going through my head.
“Maybe I can,” you whispered, melting into me in a passionate, hot, wet kiss, dancing with my body, caressing my hair, my back, comically fighting with your pajamas so they would disappear from our path.
“Mom, mom!” a shrill voice sounded behind the door, causing you to move, to turn away from me with scared eyes.
Small steps approached the bed and with the strength that a 6 year old girl could have, Giovanna climbed up to meet us.
“Gio, what are you doing here?” you asked, your face blushing. “Why did you get up?”
“I've had a nightmare...” the girl murmured, looking at me out of the corner of her eye, with a strange feeling that made me raise my eyebrow.
“Oh, a nightmare?” you said, taking the girl in her arms. “You just fell asleep, darling.”
“Yes, but I had the nightmare,” she said, looking away. Was she lying?
“Oh, poor Gio, the evil monsters again?” you asked with a tender voice, placing the little girl between the two of us.
I couldn't help but sigh tiredly. It might seem like a tender moment, a moment when our daughter needed that coveted motherly love. Well, it could be like that, but I knew it wasn't.
When she was born, she was a good baby, who cried like a normal baby, who let herself be rocked, who fell asleep in my arms. That changed over the years. Somehow, as if she had noticed the absence of her mother in the first moments of her life, she could no longer live without her.
Always with you, the girl was always with you, she cooked with you, she bathed with you, and, of course, she slept with you.
The nights stopped being a small bastion of intimacy between us when Giovanna had enough capacity to reason. Sometimes I thought she did it on purpose, to annoy me. She couldn't think that way. I really was trying not to think that way.
“Yes, mom...” the little girl sighed, causing another hug from you and a look of helplessness that you gave me over your shoulder. “Can I sleep here?”
“No, tesoro,” I said, taking the girl in my arms, in a furious outburst at that interruption.
I wouldn't have acted like that if it hadn't been the countless times it happened. “Come on, let's put you to bed.”
“No! I want to stay with mom,” the girl protested, breaking free from my grip, crawling comically across the bed to reach your arms. You laughed, shaking your head.
“(Y/N), tell her something,” I said, showing clear displeasure at the situation. My patience grew as the girl did, but lately it was slowing down, maybe too fast.
You shrugged, hugging our daughter, who seemed to be having another of her usual tantrums.
“Oh, come on, Donna, poor thing. It's okay. She can sleep with us,” you said, giving in to the little girl's emotional blackmail, to those fake tears that ran down her cheek.
“It's okay if it were the first time, (Y/N)” I said, sitting on the bed. “She has to learn to face her fears.”
“Mamma mean... Mom, mamma is mean...” Giovanna said, hanging on to your pajamas, looking at me with eyes that I wished I had never seen. They seemed full of hatred, irrational hatred. Why did she remind me so much of me?
“No, don't say that, honey, mommy Donna isn't mean, she cares about you,” you sighed, cradling the little girl in your arms.
I laughed nervously and crossed my arms, shaking my head. Despised by my own daughter, was this the punishment that awaited me for my horrible acts?
“Well, then she has to let me sleep with you,” the girl said, without bothering to look at my face.
“She's going to do it, right, Donna?” you asked, looking at me. I couldn't do anything else. I had to nod in defeat, for my own daughter.
“Oh, okay,” I huffed, getting under the covers.
I looked at the girl, the girl looked at me and did something that made me sit up again. Her face radiated the sweet taste of victory, sticking her tongue out at me mockingly.
“Hey!” I protested, annoyed by that unpleasant gesture. “(Y/N), the girl stuck her tongue out at me.”
“Oh, come on, stop it and let's go to sleep,” you said tiredly, turning off the light on the table, enveloping the room in the deepest darkness.
I wanted to protest again, to punish Giovanna for treating me that way, but I did nothing, as always. I just crossed my arms again, pressed against the edge of the bed.
Silence finally reigned in my head, and in my ears. Frustrated and nervous, I thought about everything that was happening, about my daughter's unfair attitude towards me. You said that perhaps she had inherited that possessiveness.
I trembled to think that it could be that way.
Of all my flaws, that was the worst. Just thinking that my daughter could become someone like me... My entire body trembled with terror at that idea, my stomach clenched as I imagined it. Giovanna had inherited almost all of my looks, that wasn't a bad thing. But that her mind worked like mine, that she thought she had to have you to herself...
No, that was something that horrified me, something I tried to ignore in each and every one of her tantrums.
With my eye open, thinking about that possibility, I spent part of the night, well, until a small foot hit me in the face, snapping me out of my own personal torture.
“Mamma, move, I don't have room,” the girl protested, causing me to grunt, pushing her small leg away with an angry gasp.
“You have plenty of room, Giovanna,” I said with a serious voice, perhaps too serious for such a young girl. She didn't seem to care and she continued kicking my body until she forced me to fall off the bed with a thud.
“Mamma, you fell,” my daughter whispered, with a malicious tone, with a tone I hated hearing.
A mocking laugh reached my ears. It wasn't the girl. It was you, (Y/N).
Did you really find it funny that my daughter looked down on me like that? My dark mind lurked in my thoughts, but I was stronger, at that moment I could control my impulses, although I didn't know for how long.
“Do you find it funny? Your daughter kicked me out of bed,” I said furiously, suddenly getting up from the floor.
“No, no, not at all,” you said, not knowing how to hide the mockery that appeared in your words.
I sighed again, running a hand through my hair, shaking my head.
“You know what? You can stay there, I'm leaving,” I said furiously, grabbing one of the cushions from the bed, leaving the room, stopped by your mocking hand on my wrist.
“Come on, Donna, stop acting like a child and go back to bed,” you said, your voice tired. I opened my eyes wide, offended by that reproach.
“Do I behave like a child?” I asked, with my hands on my hips. “Tell your daughter, she hasn't stopped until she kicked me out of bed and...”
“Donna, stop it,” you scolded me, leaving me glued to the wooden floor. “I don't know which of the two is more childish, really...” you sighed, turning around, letting me go.
I opened my mouth to say something, but my insides were churning furiously. I knew I was right, but I couldn't help but feel that it was internal rage, an uncontrolled rage that clouded my disturbed mind was the reason for all your suffering. I would never hurt you again, (Y/N), ever again.
“Buoa notte,” I whispered before disappearing down the hallway, walking towards the office.
Lying back on that old sofa, I thought about whether all of that was really a punishment, if the happiness I felt from having you next to me, from having a family, was just the illusion of reward, instead of a macabre game of hell itself.
“Hello, hello, hello, exiled again?” a familiar, too familiar voice asked, Angie, who entered the office with an amused step.
“What do you think?” I asked, settling down on that horrible sofa, looking away from that annoying doll. “If you did your job well…”
“What job?” the doll asked, jumping into my stomach, with a maddening voice that I didn't need to hear.
“Giovanna has had nightmares again,” I commented in a low voice, forcing Angie to get off my body, turning around, trying not to stick the wood of that sofa that little by little was becoming my new bed.
“Oh, I didn't know,” she muttered, climbing up again, just to annoy me. Why would my own conscience want to annoy me? It seemed like everyone was against me, as always.
“You didn’t know? You sleep with her,” I said incredulously, suspecting something I already knew. Angie shrugged, shaking her head from side to side. “Piccola bugiarda…”
“Don't blame her. She wants to be with her mother,” the doll said, downplaying the fact that my daughter was a little liar, something admirable at her age, but equally irritating.
“I'm her mother too,” I protested, sitting up, saying out loud a truth that my own daughter seemed to deny from the moment she said her first word, from the moment she decided not to separate from you.
“That's quite obvious,” Angie murmured, making me roll my eye and cross my arms, pressing my nails into my skin.
“But it seems like I’m not... Giovanna doesn't see me as such,” I said with a lower voice. “Cazzo, Angie, I can't even spend a moment with (Y/N) alone...”
“Oh...” the puppet sighed, forcing me to look at her. “I don't think you're jealous of your own daughter, Donna.”
“What? Of course I’m not,” I said immediately, separating that possibility from my head, the possibility that had been tormenting me for some time.
“Well, it seems like it,” Angie rebuked, earning a strong push from me to took her off the couch.
“Don’t say nonsense. I'm sure it's a phase or something...” I muttered, grabbing the cushion to channel my anger into that piece of fabric instead of losing my nerve.
I hadn't lost my mind for too long, I wanted you to be proud of me.
“Well, well, what you want is to be alone with (Y/N) to make more babies to get on my nerves,” the irreverent puppet commented.
I huffed tiredly. Of course, Angie was part of me. She was just as possessive and jealous as me, as Giovanna...
“You don't understand,” I said in a dark tone, looking away from her. “I adore our daughter but I would like to have time for (Y/N) and me and… Besides, I'm afraid of…”
“Of what, Donna?”
“I’m afraid of Giovanna being like me”
That night I barely slept. The erratic thoughts in my head wandered freely thanks to the lack of your body hugging mine, your heat dissipating my demons. No, I couldn't be jealous of Giovanna, I couldn't feel hatred towards the person I loved most in the world. Or maybe I can, I didn't know, I was incapable of controlling everything that was going through my head, I was incapable of not seeing myself in my daughter's hateful glances.
“Good morning, darling...” your soft voice, your caresses on my hair woke me up from my recurring nightmares, some in which my old self took control of my actions, some in which I hurt you, again. “Have you been able to sleep?”
“Yes, well, I'm used to that horrible couch,” I murmured, yawning, sitting up to return those precious caresses, that kiss that I wanted to give you to calm my senses.
“Donna,” you sighed, with a sad look, lack of that fun that always guided your life. “Come on, don't be mad.”
“I'm not mad,” I said defensively, bringing my knees to my chest. “How did the little princess sleep?” I asked, unable to prevent irony from coating my words.
“Well, well, it seems like she doesn't have nightmares anymore,” you commented, oblivious to the mockery of my question, or rather, wanting to be oblivious to it.
“Yeah, sure,” I said, shaking my head, with a fake smile on my face.
“Don't be like that with Gio, she's a little girl, it's normal that she wants to be with her mother,” you explained, never ceasing in your attempt to calm me down with your caresses.
I wish it had been that easy from the beginning, I wish your love could have put an end to my jealousy.
“With you, of course,” I murmured angrily, squeezing my fist tightly, a fist you grabbed, undoing its shape before it hurt me, again.
“Don't have a hard time, my love. You know what Giovanna is like, she's like…”
“Like me,” I interrupted, making you sigh intensely and lower your gaze. That was what you were going to say, it doesn't matter if you denied it.
“Yes, but not in the way you're thinking,” you said, lying, I could see it in your eyes, you were lying.
Liar
“I need to take a shower,” you commented, leaving aside that interesting and dangerous topic of conversation. “Why don't you give the girl breakfast? So you spend some time together.”
“She’s going to to bite me,” I murmured, unintentionally earning another of your tender laughs, another of your quick kisses on the lips, caresses and kisses I never deserved.
“Stop protesting and act like a mother,” you said amused, leaving the office.
I growled, uncovering myself and going to look for that little monster.
“Come on, Giovanna, drink the milk...” I said, tired of the girl's obvious refusal.
Already dressed, I prepared to fulfill the task you gave me, bathing the little girl and giving her breakfast. To say it was easy was a dirty liar. It was not.
Giovanna's protests grated in my ears. She loved her mother, she loved you.
“I don't want to, where is mom?” Giovanna asked, in a childlike posture, crossing her arms and dodging each of my attempts to bring the glass to her mouth.
“Mom is taking a shower, come on, obey,” I said, already tired from that infernal bath, from the kicks and punches of protest from my daughter, from our daughter. If she didn't look so much like me, I'd think she was just yours.
“I don't want to,” the girl said, looking at me proudly. I snorted, getting angry.
“Giovanna...” I hissed threateningly, sternly. She shook her head. “Come on, don't make it more difficult for me.”
“What have you done to mom?” she asked, leaving me stunned, leaving me breathless because of that horrible accusation.
“What are you talking about, tesoro?” I asked incredulously at those words, at that question. Did she remember she existed because I forced you to? It didn't seem possible.
“Mom's not here, I'm sure it's your fault,” the girl repeated, without looking at my face, gracefully avoiding my attempts to get her to eat breakfast.
“Don't talk nonsense and have breakfast at once,” I said tiredly, ignoring that horrible accusation.
“I don't want to, I want mom to come,” Giovanna said, kicking in the chair, threatening with another tantrum.
“I told you... Mom is taking a shower,” I whispered, losing my patience. “Eat breakfast or I won't let you play with Angie.”
Apparently, the threat of punishment had an effect. The girl clumsily picked up the glass, drinking some milk. I sighed in relief, but not for long. With a mocking sound, the milk in her mouth shot into the worst possible place, into my face.
I blinked in shock at this evil act and tried to ignore the boisterous laughter of the Angie doll, who seemed to be writhing on the floor, amused at my expense.
“It's over, you're punished,” I said furiously, grabbing the little girl's arm, who protested with an exaggerated scream.
“Let me go! Mom!” the little girl yelled, disconsolately calling her mother, calling you, her savior.
“Stai zitto, Giovanna,” I said furiously with a dark voice, but maintaining my composure, wiping my face.
“Lasciami in pace!” she screeched in response, moving erratically.
“Io sono la tua mamma, ascoltami, Giovanna...” I whispered, stopping that protest as best I could, being totally incapable.
“Tu non sei la mia mamma, sei una stupida!” she screamed, insulting me, making it clear that she didn't love me, that she only loved you.
That was a hard blow for my fragile mind, too hard.
“Hey, hey...” your voice resonated to calm that bloody battle, appearing from the hallway with a gaze fixed on the girl, with a frown. “What's going on here? If you're going to fight, at least do it in my language, will you?”
“Your daughter, (Y/N), that's what's happening,” I said furiously, unable to get rid of the strong accent that anger made me have. You approached, shaking your head, running a hand through my hair.
“What happened to you? Has a cow fallen on your face?” you joked, making the girl laugh in amusement, being picked up by your protective arms.
I didn't know what to say, I simply tried to fight against my wounded heart, against the tears that threatened to slide down my cheek.
With a growl, I walked away from you, quickly, ignoring your calls.
“Donna! Hey, Donna! Come here,” you shouted, calling me. I turned to look at you, but I could only see the girl's triumphant eyes, ones that almost made me lose control.
I ignored your screams, going down to the basement, running quickly towards my room, containing the rage that was beginning to build up in my fists.
Furious, I kicked a chair, kicked the bed, and pulled my hair. The situation was unbearable but... No, I couldn't lose my mind in front of you, of our daughter. I couldn't go back to being that evil woman who ruined your life, the one who forced you through her deranged mind. I didn't want it to come back, but I couldn't stop it.
“Maledizione!” I shouted, releasing all my anger in a punch that hit the mirror of the old dresser. Blood flowed from my hand. The pain was intense, but not compared to the damage to my delicate, sensitive, sick heart...
How to deal with the love I felt for you, and for my daughter? How to handle those horrible feelings that haunted me? I loved Giovanna. I loved her more than my own life, even if she didn't feel the same way.
Jealousy, possessiveness, yes, there was no longer any doubt, it was my fault. Giovanna was born for that reason. She came into the world because of my pathetic and crazy obsession with keeping you by my side. Just as it happened with me, it happened with her. My desire not to lose you, to keep you close to me had passed to Giovanna, turning her into my reflection, into an adorable version of the monster that I considered myself to be.
The situation was getting out of control. I should never have been a mother, I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve to have you by my side. Your words, the love you said you felt for me were no longer enough.
That was my punishment for keeping you. That was my punishment for all the harm I did to you, creating something wonderful, a beautiful daughter, only for me to be nothing to her, just a nuisance, a threat that stood between her mother and her.
I looked at the blood that flowed from my knuckles, that blood that reminded me that I was still a human being. I shook my head, I buried it in my arms and there, in the solitude of my room, far from my family, far from the most important things in the world for me, I cried inconsolably.
“Quando ci vuole, ci vuole, mm?” I repeated that phrase looking at myself in the broken mirror, demanding a bit of fortitude from myself, gaining enough strength to get up and return to your side.
No matter how hard the path was, my duty was to walk along it. That was my penance.
“You shouldn't treat mommy that way, honey... She loves you very much.” Your voice caught my attention, making me hide before revealing myself again.
“She doesn't love me, she just wants to take me away from you,” the girl said, sobbing. That made me squirm again, but I managed to stay calm.
“No, that's not true, darling. Donna would do anything for you, for us… Remember how she made you Mrs. Freckles? She's your favorite doll, right?” you asked, giving Giovanna that doll, one that I made her when she was three years old, when she didn't hate me.
“Yes...” Giovanna said, hugging the doll tightly. That was the closest I'd come to her to give me some love the last two years. I cried again thinking about it.
“Besides, you don't remember but... Thanks to your mom, you're healthy and strong now, I'm sure you didn't know that,” you commented, with a soft voice, cradling the girl, calming her tantrum.
Giovanna shook her head, curious.
“I don't remember,” she said, with her hand on her mouth, in an adorable way. Well, at least it made me smile.
“Of course not, you had just been born and I... Well, I got very, very sick... I couldn't take care of you, but do you know who did?” you asked, with a voice similar to the one you used when you told her a story.
The girl shook her head.
“Donna, your mommy, she took care of you until I got well again. She fed you, changed your diaper, sang lullabies to you to make you fall asleep...” You explained, making the knot in my stomach grow stronger. I didn't want to remember those two weeks, I didn't want to.
“Mamma Donna?” the girl asked, lowering her gaze.
“Yes, honey, she was very kind to you, you should be a good girl and return her favor, don't you think?” you said, with a softer voice.
The girl seemed to think about it, but finally, just as I suspected, she shook her head.
“Go to play with Angie, okay?” you said when you looked at me out of the corner of your eye, when you realized my presence. “Then we could take a walk in the forest, would you like to?”
“Yes, yes, a walk!” Giovanna said, excited about the idea, running around the room, passing by me without even looking at me.
“Donna, darling,” you sighed, walking slowly towards me, looking down at my wound, still bleeding. “Oh, my love… Have you hurt yourself again?”
I nodded, trying not to look at her, feeling ashamed, feeling that I was the monster you seemed to fall in love with once again.
“Gods, what have you done? Come, let's heal you,” you sighed, with that look you had when my mind went crazy, something that hadn't happened for too long.
Slowly, with a sad look, you bandaged my wound, not wanting to say anything, looking at me from time to time, with pity, thinking you had lost me again.
“Giovanna said I wasn't her mother,” I murmured while you worked on my wound. You looked at me, sighing, closing the bandage around my hand, holding it in yours.
“Don't pay attention to her, she's a little girl. You know that children say a lot of nonsense,” you commented, lifting my chin so you could see my face damaged by crying.
“It's not nonsense,” I said, furious again.
"Of course it is. Giovanna loves you, even if she doesn't tell you, I know,” you said in a soft tone, trying to convince me to abandon that shameful jealousy, that lack of your love that girl was forcing me to feel.
“You think so?” I said, turning around, looking on the coffee table for one of the many drawings my daughter made and showing it to you superbly. “Where am I here?”
“Oh, well...” you said, taking the sheet of paper, looking at the figures of Giovanna, Angie and you. “Oh, look, here you are,” you said smiling, pointing to a small black figure in the corner of the paper. I raised my eyebrows.
“There are lint in this house bigger than that black stain,” I said ironically, becoming defensive again.
“That black stain is you,” you joked, nudging me. I looked at you with a burning gaze, making you step back.
“Exactly, I'm just a black stain in our daughter's life, and in your life,” I murmured, looking away.
“No, that's not true, you know I love you very much Donna. You know that I...” you said, almost begging for me to listen to you, too late.
“I have to work on my dolls,” I said, getting up from the couch, rubbing the bandaged wound on my hand. “Thank you for healing me.”
“Donna, honey, wait...”
Nothing you said could be enough to calm the tide of my dark thoughts.
Just a black stain, a monster that wanted to separate my daughter from her mother, that was me in that family, nothing else.
“We'll be back before it gets dark,” you said, kissing me on the cheek as you said goodbye, heading out the door. “Come on, Gio, give mommy a kiss,” you ordered the girl, who was tugging impatiently at your dress.
“I don't want to,” the girl murmured, taking refuge between your legs. “Come on, mom, come on.”
You looked at me, apologizing for her, I shook my head. Not even Angie stayed with me.
With nothing better to do, I leaned on the porch railing, watching you walk away, letting my mind think that this might be the last time I saw you. In my hands, I held the black veil with which I used to cover my face, imagining a fleeting hope that would allow me to go with you.
I'm just stupid, like my daughter said. I didn't deserve the fantastic family I had. I never did it, it was all my fault.
“Look, Donna, what a kick... It's incredible...”
“Do you think we should paint the room? It's a bit dull for a girl, or a boy...”
“I want to see what it's like...”
As I looked somewhere I didn't notice, I remembered those moments, those horrible moments of your pregnancy, horrible, yes, but also tender, adorable. I was to blame for your suffering and your smiles. The harm that little Giovanna did to you was the first of my punishments.
I sighed, letting a tear fall onto the wooden floor, shaking my head, denying myself the truth of a terrible thought. You would be much better off without me.
“Donna, Donna!” A shrill voice derived that horrible thought from my head. My Angie doll appeared from the trees, clumsily running towards me.
“Angie? What's going on?” I asked, shaking my head as I ran to pick up the puppet, who was panting comically from that impromptu run.
“(Y/N), (Y/N) and Gio are in trouble, you have to help them, quickly!” the doll shouted, pulling the fabric of my dress. I, scared by that phrase, calmed the puppet by shaking it so it would stop babbling.
“What? In trouble?” I asked scared, with my body trembling with fear.
“Some bad men have trapped them in the forest, you have to do something, run, run!”
Frightened by that revelation, I put the black veil over my face, lowering the doll to the ground. My gaze darkened.
Nobody touches my family.
“Okay, take me there, Angie,” I whispered.
The doll nodded and led me by the hand into the depths of the forest.
“Do you want to stay still, you damn brat?” A deep voice reached my ears. This horrible vision appeared behind some bushes.
Two men, probably from the village, were holding my daughter, holding you in the same way while you kicked, trying unsuccessfully to get out of their grasp.
“Ah! Damn! She has bitten me!” The fatter one yelled, protesting against Giovanna's surprising attack against his hand.
“Let my mom go, you silly! Let her go!” the girl shouted, now in the arms of that evil man.
“Damn child!” the other man shouted, trying to keep you still.
“Gio!” you screamed, watching how the girl kicked tirelessly. My whole body burned with rage. “Let her go, you asshole, she's a child!”
“I will if you give me what I want, young lady,” the bandit murmured.
“I already told you that we don't have money!” you screamed again, growling, fighting with the hands that went to your neck.
“I think so, look at that girl's doll, it must be worth a lot of lei...”
“No, Mrs. Freckles!” Giovanna yelled, when that vermin snatched her doll.
“You're screwing up quite well... You don't know where you've gotten yourself,” you growled, your eyes burning with helplessness.
I couldn't take it anymore.
“Mamma!” Giovanna said when I, with a calm, threatening step, appeared from the shadows.
“Ah!” the fat man shouted, receiving a well-deserved kick in the crotch from my daughter, something that made me smile.
“Damn... What the hell...?” the man murmured, now moaning in pain, while I picked up my frightened daughter in my arms.
“Oliver, look who she is...” the man holding you said, pointing at me, who was trying to comfort the little girl's crying.
“Oh, shit...” the fat man sighed, eyes wide open, kneeling in the snow. “Lady Beneviento…”
I didn't say anything, I just sighed, cradling my daughter who, for once, clung to me disconsolately.
“Donna,” you whispered, with a triumphant smile.
“Greg, I think you should let the girl go,” the kneeling man said. His friend, unfortunately for him, didn’t seem to pay attention to him.
“Are you stupid? She can't hurt us, she's just a nutcase,” his partner said, with a crazy look, putting a knife to your neck. “Don’t, don't move or the girl dies.”
“Greg, no...” the fat man said, pulling on his partner's clothes.
“Are you a coward or what's wrong with you?” this Greg guy snapped, smiling in a horrible way, holding the sharp blade to your delicate neck. “One, one step back, you doll psychopath…”
Of course, I didn't obey.
“Don't insult her, dude... Don’t do it...” his partner lamented, closing his eyes and bowing his head.
“Get up, now we have the control. She won't do anything if she doesn't want the girl to get hurt,” that stupid man said, making me laugh. “Give us everything you have if you don't want us hurt her. I will do it, I swear...”
“No, you won't,” I whispered, extending my free hand toward them.
“Ah! Snakes!” the fat man shouted, rolling on the ground. “They are everywhere!”
The girl looked at me smiling curiously, just like you, who was no longer trembling.
“What do you say, Giovanna? What do you think can scare that stupid guy so much?” I asked amused, looking into the scared eyes of the man who was still holding you.
“Mmm,” the girl murmured, changing terror for amusement. “Coccodrilli!”
“I like it,” I said with a dark look, walking towards that man who was threatening you. His eyes changed to ones of terror, especially since his partner continued to struggle with his hallucinations.
“No, no, wait, wait,” he said, letting you go and putting his hands up. “It, it was a misunderstanding, I... Ah! It has torn off my arm!” He said horrified, when he finally succumbed to my powers.
You ran to my side, into my arms, with a smile of relief, the three of us watching that pitiful spectacle together.
“They’re everywhere!”
“It ripped off my leg! Help!”
I approached them slowly, putting a hand on your shoulder, holding little Giovanna in my arms.
“The next time you mess with my family I won't be pious,” I threatened, giving as much fear as I could, being that monster I hated so much being, to protect my family.
“That’s right!” the girl said “Fools!”
The rats fled at last, leaving a small moment of tension behind them.
“Gods, Donna, you showed up,” you whispered, removing the black cloth from my face, kissing me quickly and then our daughter. “Gio, are you okay?”
“Mrs. Freckles!” the girl screamed. I lowered her to the ground so she could run towards her doll, now with a broken arm.
“Don't worry, honey, Donna will fix it,” you said, you now being the one holding the girl, as expected. “Come on, let's go home…”
The way back was silent. Your hand in mine expressed gratitude, love, what I didn't think you felt for me. Even Giovanna's distrustful look seemed to change, looking at me embarrassedly over your shoulder, as if she were sad, or sorry for something.
The next day the routine continued, but not before talking at length about that incident. Miraculously, Giovanna didn’t seem to have nightmares that night and, surprisingly, according to you, excited by my bravery, you allowed me to make love to you, for the first time in many months.
That small release seemed to mark the beginning of a new stage, or maybe it was just that the girl was too sleepy to want to annoy me. I didn't know.
Like every day, I worked on my dolls, well, that time, on poor Mrs. Freckles, repairing her arm in silence, with the only sound of the workshop clock keeping me company.
A tug on my dress distracted me. I hadn't heard her, but my daughter had entered the workshop like a silent breeze. I assumed she wanted to check the state of Mrs. Freckles' injury.
“Mamma...” she murmured, with her head bowed. I sighed, smiling, pretending that I had no hard feelings, pretending I didn't care about her attitude toward me.
“What do you want, tesoro? She's almost fixed,” I murmured, looking at the doll again. The girl tugged at my dress again, now catching my attention.
Giovanna didn't say anything. She just moved her hands up, opening and closing her fists with a sad look, asking, surprisingly, to be held in my arms.
I, without hesitation, obeyed her silent request, sitting her on my lap while I fixed her favorite doll.
“Will she recover?” she asked, observing my work. I smiled sincerely, nodding.
“Of course,” I said, amused. “Mrs. Freckles is very brave, don't you think?”
Giovanna nodded profusely, with a hand on her mouth, a hand that I slowly withdrew, so I could see the precious daughter I conceived.
“You are also very brave,” she murmured, as if something was stopping her from saying that. I stopped sewing, looking at my daughter's sincere expression. “You saved us.”
“I only did what I had to do, tesoro, protect my family,” I said with a slightly serious tone, accommodating the girl in a more comfortable position.
“I have a gift for you...” Giovanna whispered, taking one of her little hands to the pocket of her dress and taking out a sheet of paper.
I picked it up slowly, frowning when I saw one of Giovanna's drawings. Mysteriously, I seemed to be the protagonist.
“Look, mamma, it's you, see?” she explained, pointing to my dark figure in the middle of the drawing, rising triumphantly over two evil bandits. “Look, that's mom and me, smiling because you saved us.”
“Giovanna, it's... Amazing...” I sighed, trying not to get too excited, looking over and over again at the surprising details of that drawing.
“You will always protect us, right?” she asked with a low voice, as if she was also about to cry.
“Of course, tesoro,” I said, wiping away a tear that finally ran down her cheek. “Mom and you are the most important things in my life.”
“And will we always be?” the girl asked, a little more worried.
“Always, my love,” I said, with a smile.
“Won't you let them hurt mom?” she asked again.
I shook my head.
“Never,” I said, with a more serious tone. Giovanna smiled and, with an unexpected gesture, jumped into my arms, hugging me tightly, with an affection that I could never imagine or deserve.
“I love you so much, mamma...” she whispered with a tender voice, finally making me emotional.
“I love you too, my beautiful girl...”
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Something I spent way too long thinking about during my 56382944th rewatch, in regards to a very specific line that Ed says in episode 1 of S2:
I'm the fucking devil and these are the kids.
I've always casually thought it might be song lyrics that went over my head (we see Ed using lyrics a lot - like the whole, "here I go again on my own" sequence), but it's not--
Ed craves death. He wants the crew to kill him. And despite Ed never stepping as fully into a parental figure with his crew, he sees that modeled from Stede and no doubt he thought about it.
If the crew are Ed's kids, and if the first person Ed ever killed was HIS DAD for being horribly abusive (devilish behavior)--
Ed is embodying qualities he saw in his dad in hopes of the crew finally killing him.
This adds another layer of reasons Ed experiences so much guilt when he comes back from the gravy basket. He deeply UNDERSTANDS the pain the crew feels, the agony that led them to make that decision.
He gets it because he lived it.
Forgiving himself for these horrible deeds also means forgiving little Ed for what he did to protect himself and his mother.
There's also the more surface-level meaning of "son of the devil" archetype, with the crew being presented as just as devious as the devil himself. But this analysis doesn't sit with me as deeply as Ed=embodying his dad.
#i guess we're all our parents#daddy issues#our flag means death#ofmd#ofmd s2#ofmd season 2#omfd season 2 spoilers#ed teach#blackbeard#edward teach#young ed teach
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balthazar says that the dark urge would've chosen death over being kept alive in disgrace, and I wanna talk about that for a second.
they had their skull split open, they were being dissected alive every night, they beat their head against the glass until they were bleeding. they hurt themselves and others. they kept dying and being resurrected, until their brain was in pieces, a fractured and broken thing, with no memories of what they were like before. an annihilation more total than death.
in the prayer of forgiveness that balthazar was hoarding, the dark urge mentions the beauty of obliteration.
in razing the rotten world into a mangled corpse and then throwing yourself upon the piles of dead, and slitting your own throat last.
I just think about how... the dark urge as a person was cruel and malicious and lashed out at every living thing, desiring carnage and death...but not just for everyone they came in contact with.
for themselves too.
and it goes along with one of the many themes of baldur's gate, you know, choosing your own destruction.
Karlach's heart blows up because she chooses not to return to Avernus, Gale dies trying to take the crown of Karsus, Lae'zel allows herself to be consumed by Vlaakith, Astarion loses himself and will never be the man he once was, or even a man at all, Wyll pledges his life to Mizora again, and thus destroys his agency and free will, Shadowheart literally dedicates her life to the god of obliteration and loss, etc.
and it makes sense to me, then, to say that the dark urge's entire outlook would hinge on them having no regard for life, not even their own.
but honestly?
in a weird dark way... that's kind of uplifting.
because someone as horrible as the dark urge... they fucking deserved to die.
but maybe that's a redeeming quality about them. a foul, evil creature, embracing death and total self destruction?
well. in the non dark urge playthroughs, they die. they die and their rotten legacy will be undone. the world is purged of them.
but in the dark urge playthroughs where you choose to be good?
they got that second chance, because they embraced self destruction.
but unlike the other origin characters... they were someone who needed to be destroyed. who could be remade.
and that's neat to me.
every other character has a descent to villainy arc, when you choose the bad ending. the dark urge is inverted.
the dark urge was a villain, who can ascend to heroism, and self destruction is their good ending.
the dark urge was the villain before the story even began.
and what is it that all villains should do?
die, of course.
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CHAT I THINK MY DATA IS BACK?? MAYBE???? heres some tmnt stuff bc im a bit fixated on it rn,,, DW THO!!! smg4 stuff WILL STILL BE POSTED!!!!
heres some rasey for my fellow rasey enjoyers :3
ignore the horrible quality i drew these on magma
love these stupid turtles
also forgive me if im actually shit at drawing dreadlocs this is probably the first time ive ever drawn them so bear with me 🙏 advice would be appreciated!!
#digital art#tmnt#tmnt fanart#tmnt 2012#tmnt 2012 fanart#raphael tmnt#casey jones tmnt#rasey#rasey tmnt#raph x casey#donatello tmnt#leonardo tmnt#michelangelo tmnt
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cold hands + warm cheeks
rengoku kyojuro x f!reader | fluff + angst if you squint | 1.4k words
prompt: kyojuro + “your hands are always so cold”
warnings: none! pls enjoy 😊
You sat cross legged on the tatami mat, gazing down at Kyojuro’s peaceful face. He was sleeping. Something he didn’t do much of since becoming a Hashira. He was always chattering about his duty to humankind, about protecting those he cared about, about protecting you.
Unfortunately for him, some random illness had knocked him flat on his behind. Fortunately for you, this allowed you to be able to spend day and night with him, taking care of him both to his chagrin and his delight. You remember when Ubuyashiki-san had officially granted him a leave of absence upon noticing he was ill.
“I want to be fighting alongside the others! Saving people! Defeating—” A sneeze interrupted his declaration of resolve. You giggled and pulled out a clean cloth to wipe his nose. You laid him back down on the bed before turning to Ubuyashiki and his wife. You bowed deeply.
“Thank you for giving Kyojuro this time to recuperate.” You glanced at him, “I’m sure this illness is a sign that he needs to rest.”
“Of course. The health of my hashira is of the utmost importance. Rengoku-san has already done so much for our cause.” Ubuyashiki bowed to you. “Please take good care of him.”
Ubuyashiki’s wife started to lead him toward the door, but he stopped and turned to Kyojuro. “And Rengoku-san…please try your best to rest.” He smiled before allowing himself to be led out by his wife.
Kyojuro tried to respond with an energetic “Yessir!” but was cut off by a fit of coughs.
It was the fourth day that he had been sick, but you knew he was nearing the end of his illness. Nearing the end of your quality time with him. Soon enough he’d be back out in the world, fighting demons and saving people, sacrificing himself for people who didn’t even have the privilege to know him.
“Y/n-san?” A small voice calls out to you. You turn toward the sliding door where Senjuro’s head is poking in. He looks worried. You stand up and pad over to the door, exiting Kyojuro’s room and sliding the door shut behind you quietly.
“He’s fine, Senjuro-kun, I promise.” You smile at him and pat his head reassuringly. You notice the tension in Senjuro’s shoulders dissipate. “I’m pretty sure he’s well on his way to being at one hundred percent of his strength again. I think he’ll just need another day or two.” Senjuro’s face still had worry etched into it. “Why don’t we make a nice meal for him to enjoy when he wakes up?”
Senjuro nods excitedly, following you to the kitchen and assisting with preparations for the meal.
Kyojuro stirred and sat up abruptly upon the scent of tempura wafting across his nostrils. He heard Senjuro laughing accompanied by the comforting sound of your voice coming from somewhere outside of his room. He smiled to himself.
They must be cooking for me. He closed his eyes and laid back down, knowing he would get an earful from you if you saw him up and out of bed. Honestly, that woman…what did I ever do to deserve her?
Kyojuro let himself rest for a bit more and listened to the joyful sounds coming from the kitchen, imagining your smiling face as you cooked his favorite meal just for him. He thought about you teaching Senjuro how to fry a piece of shrimp without burning himself, how to chop vegetables without cutting himself, and how to properly plate each item of food to make a beautiful meal.
Kyojuro was grateful that you were such a good friend and teacher to Senjuro, that you loved to spend time with him and help him enjoy life. He was grateful that you were so forgiving toward his father, even after he would say horrible things to you. He was grateful that you had sacrificed your own health and time to nurse him back to health. He’d like to think this was only what he’d expect from his girlfriend—but you’d exceeded his expectations, you were everything he wanted and more.
The door slid open, effectively snapping Kyojuro out of his rose colored thoughts, to reveal you, the object of his affection. Senjuro was not far behind, carrying a tray of food stacked high with shrimp and sweet potato tempura, vegetables, and soup.
“Little brother! What have you got there?” Kyojuro sat up quickly and grinned. Senjuro smiled widely upon seeing that his older brother seemed to be back to his energetic self.
“We made you lunch!” Senjuro set the tray down next to Kyojuro’s futon and sat on his knees, hands fidgeting in his lap. “Though, y/n did most of the work. I just watched her and tried to help when I could.” You sat to the other side of Kyojuro’s futon and smiled.
“Senjuro did a great job. I couldn’t have done it without his help!” You winked at him and turned to Kyojuro. “Now, eat and enjoy, love.”
Kyojuro reached out to ruffle Senjuro’s hair. “I’m sure you guys made a great team!” Kyojuro picked up the chopsticks and shouted a quick thanks for the meal before diving in. You and Senjuro watched the orange haired man chow down on his food like he was a man starved, both relieved to see that he was back to his normal self. You actually didn’t hear a single sniffle or cough from him so far today.
You frowned slightly at the realization that, since he was feeling better, this probably meant that he would be off at work again. As much as you hated seeing Kyojuro sick, you had enjoyed being by his side all this time.
Kyojuro noticed your frown and, with a mouth full of his last bite of food, politely asked Senjuro to take away his tray and clean up the kitchen for you. Senjuro nodded obediently and left you and Kyojuro alone.
“My love,” Kyojuro gathered your hands in his own, “I’m feeling much better. What could that frown of yours possibly be about?” He smiled brightly at you, his eyes falling to the slight frown that still befell your lips.
“Nothing, nothing!” You shook your head, mustering a smile to replace your frown. His eyes lingered on your lips once more and you blushed deeply.
“Please, you can tell me anything! Since when did we keep secrets from each other?” He raised his eyebrows in slight teasing and you blushed even more. You really couldn’t hide anything from this man, he knew you too well.
“I’m really happy that you’re better now. It worried me so much to see you so tired and sick…but…you have to go back to work, right?” You peered at him through your eyelashes. You began to feel your palms sweat, just now realizing that he was still gripping your hands.
“Of course! It’s my duty, love!”He watched as your expression became downcast, no doubt thinking about being away from him once more. He squeezed your hands before taking each of them in each of his own, bringing them up to contact his cheeks.
You frowned deeper.
“Your face is warm.”
“That’s because your hands are always so cold!” Kyojuro lilted, smiling brighter still. “In that same way, I will always burn brightly for you, my love. The work that I do…it’s for Ubuyashiki-sama, for Senjuro, for the people of this world, and for you, darling.” He let go of your hands and wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, laying back and bringing you to lay on his chest. He buried his face in the crook of your neck and placed a searing kiss to the skin there. “I would never forgive myself if something were to happen to you…something that I could have prevented.” He mumbled against your neck.
You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned back to gaze at his face. He was smiling brightly, as usual, and the fire in his eyes had returned after days of feeling under the weather. You leaned forward and slanted your lips against his, relishing in the warmth that spread throughout your body. Kyojuro brushed his knuckles against your cheeks and moved his lips with yours, sealing the sweet kiss.
“Just promise me that you’ll be safe.” You said quietly once the two of you had parted.
“For you, always.”
#rengoku x reader#rengoku kyoujurou#rengoku senjurou#rengoku kyojuro#demon slayer#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#rengoku kyoujurou x reader#kyojuro rengoku x reader#kyojuro x reader#kyoujurou x reader
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