#pre semicolon i like her. she’s comforting once in a blue moon
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i use the word god very often for someone who doesn’t believe in a merciful god lmao
#religion preaching wrath before mercy was not a fun time#the message of “i will rain the most excruciating death upon you and your people before “but i’ll forgive#did not work for my paranoid ass as a child#only made me freak out that i was messing up somehow and that would mean eternal damnation#i used to have nightmares and extreme paranoia. the nightmares mostly stopped when i was 12 after happening almost every night at least.#and as i got older and read about all the horrible things going on in this world all i could think was. how is this the doing of a kind god#things you go through being the tests that will determine whether or not you get into heaven pisses me off#like poverty? test. mental health? test. literally any bad thing? a test#also things that can give you pleasure in this life are also tests of restraint LMFAOOO#fuck ALL the way off#God does not burden any soul with more than it can bear: each gains whatever good it has done and suffers its bad-#this verse makes me SO ANGRY. before the semicolon it can be seen as a good thing.#after the semicolon it can be a moral lesson.#pre semicolon i like her. she’s comforting once in a blue moon#but the second half is the worse half cus#riddle me this: why are children born into war zones? why are people born with physical deformities that affect their quality of life?#what did they do to be born like that?#what moral failing did a child do to be born into horrible conditions?#and the first half. i have my beef with her. if i tried to kill myself does that mean i just failed to meet god’s expectations of me lmfao#that i SHOULDVE been able to tolerate it and i failed?#gigantic tmi but i’ll never not be bitter about how exactly my parents put islam onto me in my childhood#i think i could’ve been comfortable with the religion if it wasn’t shoved down my throat as a child#when i tell you my parents would have us doing quran study every day for at least two hours for fucking years#gee what a great way to instill something into your child
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