#forcing self to work
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it’s been 6 years exactly nd i apologize for everything about this
[tw: implied csa]
#i did not work on this fr 6 yrs obvio i jst hated what i did originally nd dropped it forever#bt like last month i thought abt it again nd realized that 6 year promise was coming up….so i debased myself#i still hate this so much :) but i forced myself to do it#rip to the 100 odd ppl who were xcited abt this when i originally posted the sneak peek#i rly wanted to try making something long but i think i shdnt do that n e more lmfaoo#thers a significant quality drop on lots of pages i never quite got around to finalizing n time. sorry. sorry sorry sorryyy#iasip#always sunny#charlie kelly#dennis reynolds#mac mcdonald#mac macdonald#charden#chardennis#trash trio#charmacden#deetress if u squint#fanart#mine#i want to xplore the chardeetress part of their hs more i rly lov that trio#also also i totally lied in the original post talking abt ‘these 3 suffering’ it was always focused on the charden trauma connection#sorry mac girlies#i hav complex feelings regarding mac's involvement n th uncle jack side of charlie's childhood#but they r not on display here#gnna hav to draw some cute bb charmac to repent and to self sooth aftr this#1k
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They were just at the mall
#uhhhhh#entirley self indulgent drawing idk#star wars#star wars rebels#the mandalorian#din djarin#din grogu#luke skywalker#ezra bridger#skybridjarin#technically#though I guess you could also just count this as them hanging out#up to you guys#star wars fanart#star wars fandom#me when I lie about not posting so I can do work and draw this instead#someone force me to render my boat pipes I really don’t want to
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Peeta really was the most delusional person ever because he saw Katniss’ reaction to his possible death TWICE and still thought she was gonna turn out alright if he just died in front of her at the end of the Quarter Quell, like IDK what to tell you my guy you are blind
#peeta mellark#katniss everdeen#everlark#the hunger games#catching fire#the first time was when katniss freaked out at the end of the first games during peeta’s surgery and they showed the footage of that later#and the second time was when he hit the force field and she completely lost it and couldn’t stop sobbing after he woke up#peeta saw all of that and was like hmmmmm it’s okay she will learn to live through the trauma of losing me and marry gale#his low self esteem was working overtime#m talks everlark
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no way you dropped the biggest river lore in the tags and moved on like it was nothing 😭 can i ask if this is still your intentions with him? bc it sounds like you changed your mind halfway 🤔
im ngl though i really enjoy how ren and river are similar and different to each other, but does that mean river would hurt his angel but leave our friends alone the same way ren would never hurt his angel but would unalive all of our friends? since they're suppose to be each other opposites. i really hope this makes sense 😬 my final question is what is ren doing on thursday? i want to go on a cute pier date again 🩷🌸
@secretkoa asked: and can i hear more about what unsent memory is suppose to be about or is that off limits? idk if i asked this in my previous question so ignore me if i did! thank yuo and remember to drink lots of water 🐸🌱
⌞♥⌝ For those who haven't seen the original post, I want to quickly clarify once more that while River was originally my OC, he's since been picked up and revamped by my friend Jesse/@unsentmemory!!
However, now that Jesse has stepped away from the yandere community, River's fate (and da fate of Unsent Memories) has kinda been put on the sidelines for the foreseeable future.
‼️ Massive Unsent Memories and River spoilers under the cut ‼️ CW for: mentions of gore, torture, mutilation, self-harm, etc.
With all of that being said, yes, Jesse's original intention for River was for him to be your standard "serial killer-turned-yandere once he accidentally catches feelings for his latest victim (Bunny)". The only main difference is that I originally planned for River to be a generic murderer first, whereas Jesse had him become a yandere right off the bat.
You also asked to know more about Unsent Memories, and I think giving a general synopsis(?) would be fine?? ^^ But basically... After getting involved in a car accident, Bunny wakes up with amnesia and gets tricked into thinking that this random guy — whom they've never met before — is their loving, supportive boyfriend named River. In turn, he convinces Bunny that staying in their shared home would be more beneficial than staying in the hospital as it might rekindle some old memories, he'd be able to take care of them, and it would be easier for them to recover at their own pace. But surprise!! River is actually a frequent patron at the Murderer Motel™ and now has trapped Bunny in his Torture Basement®!!! <3 He also maaaay or may not've been the one who hit them with Ren's car as well... ^^ Oopsie daisy hehe
And yeah!! Similar to what you've said, River was also supposed to share (somewhat of) a narrative foil with Ren!! I personally wanted them both to have similar, complimenting vibes with each other — all while having completely different/separate motives and incentives when it comes to the object of their affection. I'm glad to see it was conveyed well enough; even after Jesse's additions to River's characterisation :3 I know I already shared some examples in the previous tags, but I can share a few more:
Where Ren puts Angel's feelings and opinions above his own, River purposefully ignores Bunny's and does everything for his own personal benefit. Essentially, "I'm doing this for you" vs "I'm doing this for me".
While Ren would never dream about harming Angel in any capacity, he's perfectly happy to kidnap, extort, torture, and kill everyone else... In contrast to River, who's accustomed to torturing and brutalising others for his own twisted enjoyment and sees it as a way to show his interest in Bunny.
Kinda silly how Ren claims to be a freelance programmer (but is actually a hacker) and how River claims to work at a music shop (it's a coverup for his second torture chamber lmaoooo).
[CW: implications of SH] Ren is willing to go as far as mentally and physically hurting himself if Angel asks him to, whereas River is willing to physically mutilate Bunny if it means keeping them by his side. [end CW]
With that being said, you can assume that Ren is easily swayed by Angel's words, opinions, and emotions, whereas River can easily sway and manipulate Bunny due to his own feelings and emotions.
This is something I've actually mentioned before, but Ren always prefers things to be tidy, so he often cleans himself up after disposing of his victims. Compared to River, who casually wears the bloodstains with pride and blames it on getting a bit rough with someone else during a boxing match.
It's no secret that Ren is willing to change every aspect of himself to earn Angel's love, and River is willing to change his serial killer ways to return Bunny's love. Da power of friendship and repressed childhood memories gksdgjh T_T /silly
Ren pretends to be a Normal Guy© with tons of empathy to spare, whereas River pretends to be a Regular Person℗ with the heart of a himbo.
I could go on but you get da point lol
So, yeah!! This is essentially the vibes we had planned for River (and Unsent Memories) before Jesse stepped down /pos ^^ I feel like talking vaguely about UM is fine since River only has a small cameo in 14DWY — and I'm sure that if Jesse ever returns from war (/silly), they'll give River muuuuch more justice than I possibly can :3c
#Hopefully me yapping in this post will suffice for all the yammering I did in the other posts' tags lmaooooo#Ren: is that guy bothering you? I'll kill him >:(#River: someone is bothering you? more than me? what the fuck#Anyways!! Lords and gentlewomen..... I give you......#River ''you made me catch feelings as a child and I don't do feelings so I'm gonna hit you with a car'' Acosta 👏👏👏 /silly#There are direct parallels between 2017!Ren and River too if you squint#Also would this be 2024!River now?? Since UM is kinda homeless rn? /silly gshjgjs I just made myself sad T_T#Also; yeag... I agree that I could've worded my original tags better because it DOES seem like we changed our minds hjdgjsk#However my original intention [within da tags] was to talk about what River's characterisation would've been BEFORE Jesse stepped down#i.e. me yapping about what you could've expected from Unsent Memories since the game's fate is kinda.... ambiguous now ^^; /nm#But again; I don't want to force Jesse to come back to da yan community and write for a game they no longer have an interest in#It's not the end of the world if 14DWY doesn't get its sequel; and it's not like I'm going to stop working on its prequel either /gen#me: guys there's another yandere in 14DWY!!!#everyone else: omg it's Leon!!!#me: ......yeah... definitely... 😼#.......I yearn to :evilhehe:#💌 — answered.#💖 — 14 days with queue.#💖 — about ren.#🌊 — about river.#secretkoa#Very brief mentions of:#cw torture#cw self harm#cw gore
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and im calling out your name ^_^
#trying to commit more to cringy lyric drawings again#its hawrd bc ill get inspired by a song while working but then of course it ends and i dont wanna replay it but ill#just keep wanting to draw other songs if i keep listening as normal#so sort of forcing self to commit to sources of inspiration too#a doodley
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Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Woah...it's been a whole *year* since I took the leap and uploaded my 'first attempt' art.#It's outdated now but it holds a special place in my heart for the fact it started all of this off.#Calling this 'poorly-drawn' was always about accepting that my art was going to be imperfect and messy - and doing it anyways!#There has been a staggering number of times I have drawn something I almost didn't upload because I didn't think it was 'good enough'#only for someone to say they liked it - or that it made them laugh. And it has helped me realize -#-The worst critic for my work has always been myself. If I listened to it all the time...well we would not be here now B'*)#And now that I have dabbled in other fandoms I can truly see how lucky was to start out with the MXTX fans.#The supportive messages and tags have truly been a guiding force toward my artistic and self improvement.#I really can't describe how grateful I am.#Thank you for seeing something worth rooting for when I was just figuring things out.#Thank you for being sweeter than the candy I have strategically hidden in the nooks and crannies of this house.#But watch out! If you forget to find them we will get ants.#I remembered to not hide chocolate in the bed this year. Yes I know it melted last time. Yes it did stain. I'm still sorry.#Thank you for loving me regardless <3 Even if it looked like I shit the bed real bad.
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gooby and his friend goobert
#sth#sonic the hedgehog#miles tails prower#au stuff#me and my friend gone a little crazy w the illusion stuff in forces#tails works with omega during sonic's absence#he doesn't respond well to sonic 'dying'#sorta lets his bitterness and resentfulness surface#and questions his self worth big time#he's really self destructive and sort of on a 'suicide mission' where he doesn't care if he dies#just that he gets his job done and ends the war going on#also hes like 15 LMAO#anyway dorito engine#luc arte
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Offering you a starshake doodle..
Taglist @loverxiety @shuteyelenz
@herrling @moxanji-real @dogboyships
@deepwatersiren @wuffverine
@vergils-beloved @justfrankie3 @r0tten-hav3n
@jokerislandgirl32 @ryez-loveyz
@sari-stars @cruising-thru-the-starz @bizzyboyfriends
@mister-ancunin @fl0ralsxgar
#🥤my art#ive been working on changing my style! im happy with it now#selfship community#fictoromantic#selfship#self ship#oc x canon#f/o community#self shipping#selfship doodle#self shipper#non sharing yume#yumejoshi#yumeship community#athf master shake#master shake#athf fanart#aqua teen hunger force#master shake athf
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once again i was fueled with coffee (did not sleep the whole night) but this time i doodled college au to cope bc ofc i did (also did not feel like sleeping wooo)
#self insert#cross!sans#epic!sans#mblue art#cm#m rambles#(that tag is needed bc hoo boy u can tell i did not get sleep and is fueled by caffeine)#(do not be like me!!!!!!!!! do not deprive urself of sleep 💀💀💀)#(get a good 6-7hrs a day if u can. if 4-5hr works better for u then im not forcing u to sleep more 😤😤😤 as long as u rest well 😁👍)#(AND HYDRATE... if ur reading this try to take a sip rn 🥤)#campus au#(college au scenarios will be tagged that heehoo)#not colored just lines bby 😎😎😎#idiots to lovers type shit where they both confide in epic n he's just chillin#waiting for the time when these dummies will finally confess to eachother themselves#(look i think it's rlly funny seeing cross be all cool calm collected in public but when he talks to epic abt his crush)#(he goes insane with a million different flustered/blushing emojis)#( 'they told me good luck on my test and gave me the nicest smile ever how was i gonna live after that' goofy ass. idiot /aff)#( 'DUDE THEY GAVE ME A MOTIVATIONAL NOTE. IN /PINK/ PAPER. ON CHOCOLATE. DOES THIS...... 😳' guys i love silly dorky cross to bits so much)#(man fucking explodes w his simping n epic just goes LMAO but he's v supportive for his bruh 💪😤)#(on the other hand my sona thinks he's sooo cool and awesome and smart and honestly fucking charming HHELLO THE TIMES WHEN HE LAUGHS AND)#(AND SMILES HELLOOO MR HANDSOME I MEAN WHATT)#( 'stars if he likes me back i wouldn't know what to do with myself. fucking EXPLODE? YIPPEE CONFETTI??' lots of flushge )#(going ueueue at big bro epic bc they got a super massive crush on his bestie but)#(but the head is entertaining 'what-if's BUT i think kuya epic knows how to steer the thoughts away from those and smack em w teasing 😎✨)#(ultimately distracting and successfully reassuring them 😎😎😎)#(tsundere mblue no way not in here im down bad astronomically full on simping my guys)#(he might be a dumbass sometimes but he's my dumbass) (ok i'll shut up now fr)#anywayz campus au is the my highschool au but we're all adults and more tired yippeee
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Okay, I know I'm late with this, but someone sent here an ask at some point I think where they expressed the idea of an au where Philip managed to kill Evelyn/Catherine while she is still pregnant with Robyn, which results in Caleb going after Philip. I had another idea: What if Philip did manage to kill Evelyn/Catherine instead of Caleb, but Robyn was already born and somehow unharmed? Then that would result in Caleb raising Robyn. Why do I even come up with that? I'm just torturing myself with angst.
Hi, are you like... allergic to happiness? 🫵😍
He's not sure he can handle parenting Robyn without Evelyn around. It was her patience and understanding that eased his doubts. Now she was dead. And it was his fault. He couldn't protect her. He brought her death to her home land. Finally, he raised her death. Philip was who he was because Caleb supported the narratives of witches being the doom of humanity and didn't react appropriately when Philip began drifting to extremes.
How will he ever explain that to his son someday? Explain that the reason why Robyn's mother died is Caleb... Robyn's father.
#moonmeg ask#ultimately this is the worser of time lines#Caleb and Robyn cannot live under the name of “Clawthorne” nor under their real names#since Philip's plan of saving Caleb didn't work but he's also not just going to stop trying#Caleb and Robyn are forced to move away from Bonesborough and live under aliases#Caleb's too scared to even visit Andrew and Silvia or have them visit#so really it's just Caleb and Robyn and Caleb's guilt and lies and self doubts#“does snowfox still happen?” you may ask#and the answer is no#they do meet but Micah's in a relationship then and has no intention of breaking up
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Let me make this very clear:
When it comes to Hellenic Polytheism, there is no human religious authority, especially not one that stands before or speaks for the gods.
It does not matter what someone tells you. It does not matter if they claim to be a priestess/priest of X deity or a messenger for Y deity. It does not matter what their supposed past life was like. It does not matter if they claim to be the literal fucking Oracle of Apollo.
No one has the right to tell you how to worship the gods. No one has the right to assert their authority over your religion.
And most of all, remember that people can and do lie.
#helpol#hellenic polytheism#hellenic pagan#deity worship#hellenic worship#deity work#tagging this with non-helpol tags because i feel this is a message even the wider pagan community needs to hear#the amount of people I've met who pose as some religious authority is genuinely disgusting#many of these people claimed these things in order to control others in some way#i think that's honestly fucking revolting#as a disclaimer: if you have it in your own practice that you are a “priestess/priest” that's fine#but do no attempt to assert some sort of self-given authority over others#because at the end of day your experience is just that: YOUR experience#do not force others to conform to YOUR experience; they have their OWN experience to learn from#paganblr#polytheism#paganism#pagan#reminder
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To me, Machete kind of has the energy of a secondary villain/coldhearted side character in someone else's story that a lot of fans latch onto, moreso than the protagonist. Question is, would he be the villain in anyone's story?
Why, thank you! I'm actually glad to hear he gives off that vibe. I don't think he set out to become a villain but a lot of people certainly view him as one.
#in the 16th century canon he starts out as an introverted but sincerely well meaning guy that never quite manages to find his social niche#he was a sensitive kid and when subjected to enough pressure#his insecurity fearfulness and powerlessness mutate into distrust resentment aggression suffocating repression and self-restraint#I don't think he's a bad person in fact he consistently tries very hard to do the right thing#do his job properly avoid letting people down and get through life with a sense of dignity#but he is supposed to come across kind of cold impersonable and difficult to be around if you don't know him personally (and very few do)#people can sense there's something wrong with him and are put off by it#Vatican is a nest of vipers and as the stakes rise he retreats deeper into his coldblooded untouchable work persona#he has no choice but to start lying scheming blackmailing and eliminating his enemies#in order to maintain his position keep Vasco safe their relationship under wraps and his own head above water#essentially playing by the same rules everyone else in the holy see has been playing with for centuries#eventually he loses his spot as the secretary of state and is manipulated/forced to take on a role in the roman inquisition#and if people were sort of iffy about him before being the authority overseeing trials torture excommunications and executions doesn't help#and since he has so few allies and such an infamous reputation he's an easy target for scapegoating whenever necessary#towards the end it dawns on him that he's become the kind of twisted cruel corrupt person he used to fear and despise#and the guilt moral injury and abject self-loathing had largely sapped him of his will to live by the time the final assassin gets him#answered#anonymous#Machete#Vaschete lore#he thought his dream of priesthood would make him a better person more worthy of admiration safety and love but he climbed too high#and got roped up in the dangerous games that take place under god's nose and slowly got strangled to death
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well gosh
#the walten files#twf#the walten files fanart#susan woodings#felix kranken#the walten files susan#twf susan#twf felix#the walten files felix#art#digital art#procreate#twf fanart#comic#doodle#peep the way my art style changes like 3-5 times here#I’ve been forcing my attention span into letting myself work on things longer lately#idk my adhd destroys me already and it doesn’t help that I do nothing to exercise my brain or focus to begin with#hence the difference in quality all the time so I’ve been doing that more#taking time off work from sickness has helped tremendously along with pressuring myself less#this is a wip from like. two years ago that started out as a weird aimless doodle#soooo proud that I got to turn it into something (˘◡˘)#im trying to force myself to use less refs for anatomy cuz idk it’s like I don’t train my brain enough and that really effects my ability t#retain things or make my knowledge of certain things more natural intuitive and flexible yk#whew we love self improvement..!!!#anyways I neeeeed to draw Felix more#oh and the dialogue is in the alt text since my writing is goofy#anyways…!!! so!! that’s the last of my reposts!!! im up to date now yippeeeee#now to work on commissions and organizing more of my things heheh
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I have all of these extended thoughts on my head about the amazing way themes and character relationships are handled in Iruma-kun and the inclusion of queerness and the handling of the coming of age narrative in this shonen manga/anime
And every time all that comes out when I'm reccing it is "You should watch/read it"
Do it. Go watch/read Mairimashita! Iruma-kun/Welcome to Demon School Iruma-kun
Please.
#mairimashita! iruma kun#m!ik#welcome to demon school iruma kun#i just be ramblin#anime recommendation#manga recommendation#Like okay baseline on its surface it's an isekai anime about a teenage boy who is sold to a demon by his terrible parents and has to go to#school in the demon realm and live there without being found out (otherwise he thinks he'll be eaten)#But it's also a story about growing up and a story about a kid from a terrible situation learning what it means to (and being allowed to)#have goals and ambitions and wants#It's about a kid who gets all his needs met for the first time in his life (and a little spoiled) and figures out he wants everyone to have#that#It's about friendship and bonds and the importance of working together with others#It debunks that usual take about how humanity's base traits are evil and greed and the urge to murder and steal and whatnot through#the comparison to demons‚ who are said to be all of those things at their core and yet in actuality aren't beholden to it#It's about outcasts coming together not letting other people determine their worth and proving just how high they can reach and what they#can accomplish. they force the world to recognize them instead of assimilating#It's about what happens to outcasts who are taken in by bad actors vs outcasts who get genuine support#It's about kindness#It's about how adults should both help the next generation improve while also being their defenders from things they shouldn't have to#handle yet#It's even about the dangers of being fully selfless or fully selfish. How personal desire/the serving of oneself and kindess/the serving of#others should be balanced#About how desire is not inherently terrible and about how being constantly self serving stunts one's growth#And it's also about a human who got sold to a demon and is gonna be the demon king one day#Thinking about this manga makes me want to chew through concrete I love it so much#*how constantly serving others stunts one's growth
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Tim I noticed a lot of indigenous patches on your jacket, are you Native?
Idk what my dad was 'cause I never knew him, but yeah my mom is (or... Was.. I guess..) Muscogee, the tribe native to the part of Alabama I'm in.
If I remember correctly she came to Alabama from Oklahoma (where a lot of Natives were displaced to in the 1800s) to "get back to her roots."
But yknow, I was separated from her in childhood (which tbh is upsettingly common for Native families) and I was raised in a very white very Catholic asylum so I'm not as connected to the culture as I'd like to be.
-Tim
#OOC: Olea speaking#this is kind of a self-indulgent headcanon but HEAR ME OUT it adds a lot to Tim's character specifically#we're talking about a character who was separated from his mom in childhood and locked up in a psych ward#suffers from chronic physical and mental illness made significantly worse by the institution that was supposed to be helping him#forced to regulate his emotions more than other people have to so he isnt misinterpreted as a threat#struggles with addiction#had to work twice as hard as anyone else in his friend group just to be given the same opportunities#a much more common experience inside BIPOC communities#and he clearly has ties to the land (especially the park) nobody else has#you know how in season 2 Alex starts yapping to Jay about how the park is cursed?#maybe he was right#maybe that *thing* has been here for hundreds of years#and nobody was ever able to settle the land so eventually the Department of Conservation turned it into a state park#and Tim isnt some random “patient zero”#but he has ancestral ties to the land and was more receptive/at risk to Operator Sickness (but was also more resistant to it long term)#JUST SAYIN 👀#im half Katu and I desire my comfort character to be a halfie with me we need more non-white rep in mh#ask.txt#marble hornets#mh#tim wright#afterlife au#slenderverse#Native!Tim
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I don't see nearly enough discussion about the fact that the web of intrigue that leads Caitlyn to Jinx has shadowed her eye in the same way Silco's own has been scarred over. It's the same side too!
#arcane#arcane meta#caitlyn kiramman#silco#i think calling caitlyn the new silcomis a bit reductivd for how both characters work#but it makes sense to use as a way to say caitlyn's self-righteousness can lead her to the extremes of end justify the means#worse so when you've got piltovan money and noxian forces at your hands
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