#for the record i totally believe the others would treat it all as no big deal

[dailycupofcreativitea]

"So then he threw the Dragon Ball into the ocean, but luckily we had the Dragon Radar, so Bulma sent Gohan to get it, and then..." 🫠

(In other words: Trunks finally hears about Vegeta's shenanigans from the Saiyan saga to the present. But the others reassure him that Vegeta's (probably) a team player now, so it's okay!)

[genericpuff]

Okay, what was up with the "I'm with stupid" SpongeBob episode?

is this like a rhetorical question or are you asking for me to actually get into it lol because i absolutely will, here we go-

CW: discussions of ableism

honestly it's just one of those season 1-3 episodes that hasn't aged as well as all the others. like so much of seasons 1-3 are bangers, they often still hold up really well 20 years later and even the 'weaker' episodes are still solid and someone's favorite that they will fight to the death to defend

but the "I'm With Stupid" episode is genuinely the tarnish on that record because it's just. mean-spirited torturing and gaslighting of spongebob the whole way through. it's both foreshadowing of the declining quality of Spongebob that , at the time, we didn't know was coming (we know now) and foreshadowing of Patrick's character being devolved into the "big mean and dumb bully" archetype that comes around S4-5.

like for anyone who hasn't watched this episode or doesn't remember it, it's the one where patrick's parents are visiting and he's stressing out because his parents always treat him like an idiot (and we do know patrick isn't characterized as being "conventionally intelligent", but he's still a great guy throughout the first 3 seasons, he loves his friends, is the ultimate chill guy, and really he's just total ND vibes for anyone who remembers being that "not conventionally intelligent" kid growing up so I can def 100% understand the premise of this episode as someone who was that kid lmao)

and spongebob offers to help his friend out by sigh pretending to be stupid to make patrick look smarter by comparison

and i'm sure you can see where i'm going with this when i say this episode hasn't aged well

like it immediately starts on the wrong foot with the whole premise of spongebob playing the "protective helmet dummy" act which is just a cruel stereotype of disabled and neurodivergent individuals.

but then as it goes on, patrick basically weaponizes spongebob's idea against him by actually being mean to him the same way his own parents would (and yes his "parents" are cruel right out the gate to patrick, but then immediately shift focus to spongebob as the target once he arrives and puts on the "dumb person" act.)

is this resolved in any actually meaningful way? maybe something like the Squirrel Jokes episode where Spongebob gets rightfully called out by Sandy for making stereotypical jokes about squirrels which is a metaphor for jokes that punch down on girls/minorities/etc.?

nope, not at all. spongebob eventually gets so (rightfully) fed up with the bullying that he decides he's not gonna go along with it anymore esp when he offered to do this to help his FRIEND and that's now clearly being taken advantage of at his own expense. So he approaches the parents as his 'normal' self (ugh sorry i just hate using that word in this context) where he explains that he's not actually an 'idiot', he can do math and even knows how to do his own laundry (sigh, again, incredibly ableist). and how do patrick and his "parents" respond? oh right, they gaslight him and escalate the bullying. the parents don't believe that spongebob was putting on an act and just assume patrick "taught" him how to say the things he's saying to defend himself. which i don't even have to explain is just another level of mean-spirited because this is an ACTUAL THING that happens to neurodivergent / disabled children, their needs aren't taken seriously by the adults around them and because they're often seen as purely the stereotypes of their disabilities, they're talked down to and mistreated just because they don't function the same way that neurotypicals do in a society that's designed for neurotypicals.

anyways, spongebob is literally driven into a meltdown by the parents and patrick gaslighting him, and he runs home crying. that is the last that we see of him in the episode.

and then the "parents" happen to say their names out loud to each other and that's when patrick realizes they're... not his real parents. and the parents go "oh duh, that's right, we don't have a son!"

and that's it. that's the resolution to the episode. there is no moral, it tries to "get back" at patrick and his shitty fake parents by being like "haha see! they're stupid!!" but it just ??? doesn't at all make up for the 10 minutes of manipulating and abusing and gaslighting spongebob???

like up until this point in the show, the one who's usually on the end of the abuse is Squidward, sometimes Mr. Krabs, but both of them are often at the end of some kind of physical comedy as karma. Mr. Krabs is a scummy greedy capitalist, so of course anything that happens to him after he's done something awful is karmic justice in the form of an anti-capitalist metaphor that's funny for children and satisfying for the adults re-watching Squid on Strike who go, "OMG Mr. Krabs is unfair!" Of course because it's a serialized kid's show, it does have to go back to the status quo at the end of each episode so nothing can really come of Squidward dismantling oppression board by board (Spongebob is literally us when we were 6 btw, "Gee, IDK what Squidward's talking about, but he sure sounds convincing" which is just genius writing lol), but even episodes like Squid on Strike and Selling Out have incredibly timeless and STILL APPLICABLE MESSAGES about late stage capitalism and the death of small businesses under the weight of massive, predatory corporations that, if anything, have only aged BETTER over time because now the 6 year olds who watched that back in the 2000's are adults and living the reality that Squidward was living in.

and then ofc when it comes to Squidward, well, it's usually also karma after he took things too far in his cynical opposition to Spongebob's childhood wonder. In a lot of ways, Squidward is simultaneously an empathetic reflection of the adults who have had to survive under the oppression of capitalism, many of them giving up their hopes and dreams to do so; but also a grim reminder that if we're not careful and don't appreciate the little things that bring us joy, we too can become jaded and oppressive to the next generation.

there's a lot in the older Spongebob episodes that's a lot more counter-culture than people give it credit for (unsurprising though considering Stephen Hillenburg himself was a Gen X'er and many shows pioneered by Gen X'ers throughout the 80's and 90's were writing from a comically cynical point of view, like they hated capitalism and the boomers too, this shit runs deep LOL) making it a way more progressive show than many people give it credit for because on the surface, it's just that dumb kids show with the annoying laughing sponge.

nothing about I'm with Stupid is counter-culture or fighting for the "little guys" like so many other episodes do. whether it was a blind spot on Hillenburg's end or another writer on the staff who was severely misinformed, the entire episode shows its age in the most exhausting, uncomfortable, ableist way, by stringing together 11 excruciating minutes of gaslighting and manipulating a normally positive and endearing character who was just trying to help their friend, with no closure or apology towards said character, and no resolution or message in the end about how treating people differently based on their perceived intelligence is wrong and cruel. I feel like somewhere under all the mean-spirited attempts at "jokes", there was some fringe message about how right-wing assholes will look for lesser targets to "punch down on" or use manipulation tactics to make their victims appear weak by poking them in all the right places, but it's lost in the mishandling of the episode's overall structure where it spends the majority of time playing into disability / neurodivergent stereotypes for comedy, bullying a character who did nothing wrong, and then hastily resolves itself by leaving the message at "welp, at least Spongebob isn't as stupid as Patrick and his parents!"

this turned into a longer and more introspective post than I had planned, but man, I was genuinely shocked when I rewatched that episode for the first time in ages and realized it had come out during the seasons 1-3 era which has, y'know, the episodes that are still the most popular to this day 20 years later and contain the majority of every Spongebob meme template out there (of which there are a LOT).

Like I swear to god I always remembered this episode being part of the sort-of-later era, like shortly after the movie came out but before it became entirely mean-spirited in its comedy post-Hillenburg. But nope, I'm With Stupid accompanies Procrastination, one of my own personal favorite episodes from that era because it perfectly encapsulates the ADHD experience, both of which aired in 2001, three years before the Spongebob movie which is when most people agree that Spongebob 'peaked'.

I was just so stunned by that because most episodes of that seasons 1-3 era are generally so positive and equalizing between the varied characters, and when that balance is thrown off, it's usually for the sake of sending a message about being kind and accepting to one another. Shit, Sandy is someone whose entire characterization revolves around her being conventionally intelligent, she literally built a rocketship to fly to the moon, and yet in the very first episode where she meets Spongebob, as soon as she finds out Spongebob couldn't breathe without water, she doesn't make fun of him, she doesn't chastise him for lying to her, she simply accommodates him and Patrick by giving them fishbowls to wear on their heads whenever they want to visit her in her home, which we always see them wearing in subsequent episodes when they go to visit her (at worst she says "you could have asked" in response to their need for water, but in her defense, they gave her the impression they knew what air was and it does make a point about how we need to all play our role in both sides of the conversation so people can express their needs without feeling like a "nuisance"); and we always see her going out and interacting with her friends in Bikini Bottom in her suit, which people don't make fun of her for, until at the earliest the Squirrel Jokes episode which, again, see above, her getting made fun of by Spongebob and everyone in town is meant to serve as a message not to pick on people for their differences.

And no , I'm not saying all this as some nostalgic Spongebob fan, I'm saying this as someone who both watched the shit out of Spongebob as a kid AND as an adult, who regularly rewatches their favorite episodes from the earlier era of the show, has almost all of those season 1-3 episodes memorized line for line (even the ones I don't watch as often anymore), and is currently doing a binge watch of every episode from S1-3. I hadn't watched I'm with Stupid in a long time. Maybe that was for a good reason 😒💀

[dr-spectre]

My Splatoon Idol Headcanons!

Im so normal about them, like totally...... (note, some of them may be more serious than lighthearted so keep that in mind. i have warned you.)

Callie

Has ADHD 

Got a permanent version of the octopus tattoo that she keeps hidden with make-up when on stage. She sees it as a reminder that she has grown and to always believe that she is loved and to never listen to the dark thoughts that lie in her head

Hides most of her issues from everyone no matter how big or small because she’s scared to upset her family and friends. She'll only tell what's going on with her if someone REALLY presses her about it 

Always talks to Frye after each Splatfest loss to make sure she’s okay. She cheered extremely loudly when Team Bucket List won

Can be kind of clingy around her friends and family 

Marie

Is on the autism spectrum but has not told anyone due to feeling shame about it 

Considers Agent 3 family and treats them extremely nicely. She knew what happened to them in the Deepsea Metro

Massive Pokémon fan 

Constantly worries about Callie and was told by her that she willingly left with the Octarians. Marie checks up on her every day and needs to make a call with her otherwise she’ll get fidgety and restless 

Best friends with Marina and Big Man and they hang out when their schedules all line up

Pearl

Used to have an eating disorder that affected her health badly before she met Marina, she is currently working on eating better with Marina's help

Feels guilt and shame over being very rich and tries to do all she can to help out less fortunate people via charity and music 

Has sleeping problems and needs Marina to be in the same bed with her to fall asleep 

She still keeps up with the heavy metal scene and loves seeing new artists pop up

Loves outer space and being high in the air

Marina

Is on the autism spectrum and has told Pearl about it which she accepts and still loves her all the same

Wears her headphones as much as she can because she’s very sensitive to certain sounds and other sensations. If she becomes too overstimulated, she needs Pearl’s help to calm her down 

She loves to ramble on social media about her special interests and machinery

Is a workaholic and doesn’t like to relax for long periods of time, she must be doing something 

Wants to adopt Eight as her child but she hasn't gotten around to it or asked Eight about it due to her schedule

Shiver

Has a strained relationship with her father and mother and has low contact with them 

Has an addiction to juice and can chug down several boxes of it every day, she has kept this addiction hidden from Frye and Big Man but they have noticed an odd amount of juice boxes in the garbage 

Seeks companionship and deep connections with people badly but hides it with a cold exterior because she's scared of getting hurt or betrayed. She sometimes cries at night because she thinks she’s all alone and wants to be held 

Was an extreme perfectionist at high school and would get upset if she got decent or poor grades

Wears pajamas all the time at home and isn't the most hygienic 

Frye

Has a plushie collection that she keeps on her bed 

May have ADHD but she has not gotten a diagnosis for it yet 

Has issues with analysis paralysis and can never decide things easily 

Can be a bit too overbearing with her siblings but she means well and loves them to death 

Is deep down insecure about her appearance from seeing comments about her body online and trains her body constantly to feel good about herself 

Big Man

Is constantly overworked and wishes he could just relax

Has a vinyl collection where he has boxes upon boxes of vinyl records 

Is secretly a big fan of Off the Hook and the Squid Sisters 

He’s a pro bowling player and takes it VERY seriously even amongst friends 

Hates getting into arguments and gets very emotional even at the slightest of criticisms 

[writing-for-life]

Would love to see a post about how Destiny is the worst older brother. Not like, actively, but just because he always fulfills his responsibilities and then treats Dream like a baby for having any difficulty with his. And he also visits the parents and doesn’t ask them for anything. Maybe you’ve already done so!

We also have a serious take/meta now…

Oh you know, I totally think he is the worst brother, older or otherwise 🤣

Getting kind of cozy with the Fates in SoM and calling in that family meeting? Check.

Being the one who both saves but also somewhat dooms Dream several times over (and of course he’s NOT doing either because he’s just… Destiny)? Check.

I mean, do we know what would have happened if he had left Dream in that black hole in Overture instead of going, “Erm, actually, you dropped something in my garden, can you sort out your mess?” That looks so typically older brother who pulls up the little brother to sort out his shit, and then we’re made to believe, “Well, but he was helpful in a way, wasn’t he?” Yes, he was, but someone also had to help setting up that stable loop from which there would be no escape, right? The one where Dream had to be actively pulled out of some shit to land him in it even deeper (of course for the greater good, yeah yeah, we get it). And who better to do that than Daddy Time’s favourite boy Destiny, right?

Wondering how the father/son meetings between Destiny and Time go. I mean, they’re hardly ever happening, because our boy is not annoying. Not as annoying as Dream anyway (but then again, Dream is the one with the mummy-issues, the daddy issues are just the cherry on top). Destiny will probably just check in for that half hour visit every couple of billion years, and Time will go, “Alright son?” And Destiny will be like, “Yup, never better.” “Want a coffee or something?” “Nah, need to run.” Quick awkward nod, done. And Time will have more fuel to go, “See Dream [I can literally hear the contempt in my head], your brother never asks for anything. Not even a coffee.” And Dream will go, “But but… I didn’t want mum’s food either. I didn’t even ask, man, she just tried to force it on me.” <insert mild sob> And all Time will say is, “Don’t call me man, son! Bit more respect, please…”

Or Destiny’s, “I’m your big brother, be sensible”-speech in Brief Lives. Where we all go, “Wow, he actually advises him. Sorta. The way he can. Tells him stuff. Gets rebuffed by Dream, so it’s his own fault really.” But then he turns round and goes, “Yeah, but that most important question, the one about how to find Destruction—sorry mate, we all know I know how, but you’re still on your own and need to ask that oracle. Crap it’s your son, eh? Sorry, I abide by my rules and responsibilities. Shit, do I recognise this somehow? Never mind…” And when Dream goes, “Nope, I don’t want to do this,” Destiny says, “Atta boy, finally you’re being sensible, well done. Knew you’d get there in the end.” And then Del steps in, tells Destiny off for always doing everything by the book (d’uh!) but unfortunately also gets Dream back on his feet, and Destiny just turns round, shrugs his shoulders and inwardly goes, “Guess I tried, huh?”

They’re a funny bunch.

Also, the real dilemma is they have ongoing beef about a coffee spill on a dream record, but that’s info Dream only shares with his therapist…

[If we wanted to be serious about it for a sec: I’d love to see more people exploring how we always talk about Desire as the main antagonist but sort of never about the others. When they are all fairly good at putting the final nails into Dream’s proverbial coffin by mere being their function (when Desire is the one who actively disengages when the shit hits the fan). Never mind, always getting carried away with that one 🙈]

@hyperboreancomics ask answered

[arachnixe]

A Better Family

(Part 2 of Night’s Longing - Previous: Den of Depravity)

A man kneels on a stone floor, coughing blood. His face is a battleground of despair versus anger, and he clenches his fists in a futile gesture of resistance.

“If it helps, I’m sorry in my own way. I’d hoped to let you live, but I cannot do that if you will not play your role in this story.” A figure, cloaked in darkness, circles the dying man like a vulture.

“Damn you, Alucard. I should have known it was you. I see now it was always you. The count—” Another coughing fit interrupts him. “I won’t let you get away with this.”

“You are not in much of a position at all to ‘let’ me do anything, Morris.”

“I can still… curse with the best of them. Enough blood here for it, at least.” The man puts a red, dripping hand to his forehead and breathes a prayer. “By the bloodline of the Boltman clan, I curse you. We will wipe your progeny from the world. When you die, it will be at our hands. On my life, I swear it. In the name of my family I do hereby vow. We will be your end, Dracula.“

In a flash of light, the man collapses. Somewhere far away, a child wakes up from a nightmare of his father dying, his face wet with tears.

---

I, on the other hand, wake up with a smile on my face. Get wrecked, old man. If I have to suffer your curse, at least I have the consolation prize of playing dream witness to your embarrassing last moments on your knees again and again. It’s a damn shame, I think, that one of my ancestors apparently was successful at killing Dracula at some point. Wasn’t enough to end the curse on my family, though. I guess we are supposed to kill every last vampire to fulfill the prophecy.

That won’t happen if I have any say in it. I am determined to be the last of my line.

“Wait, she’s awake again already?”

“What did I tell you? This girl is the best.”

I open my eyes, blinking through the haze and trying to reorient myself. It’s still night, and I’m lying across the laps of two beautiful women in a dimly lit booth. I only recognize one of them. “Hey, Vicky. Who’s your friend?”

“Not totally with it yet,” the stranger observes.

“Come on. You met Liz already, remember? My sister.”

“Right, the hot sister.” That rings a bell. I sit upright with Vicky’s aid and position myself comfortably between the two vampires. I’m still feeling a bit dizzy, and my limp neck struggles to prevent my head from lolling to the side. “Gonna have to get some calories and iron in me if you want to go again before morning.”

“Already got a big steak coming your way, Hanna. Extra rare, just how you like it.”

I can’t believe there’s a nightclub in this city that serves steak of all things. This place rules.

“Ooh, she does have good taste. Twice over, even.” Liz rewards my quality opinions with a kiss on the lips and a lustful squeeze of my boob. While she continues occupying my mouth, Vicky runs her hand up my thigh and takes a long, lingering lick from my collarbone to my jaw. The way they treat me like a premium cut of meat makes me shiver in anticipation of what’s to come later tonight.

I’m too distracted to notice when my own meal arrives until the smell reminds my stomach that I’m starving.

“Oops, looks like they thought that was for one of us,” Liz says.

No sides on the plate, just a fat fucking slab of barely seared beef swimming in blood—is that human blood?—in a presentation clearly intended for vampire clientele rather than a living human. This place must be damn fancy by vampire standards. Or maybe it’s just that full moon excess at work.

I’m drooling, too hungry to fret about the details. If Liz thinks a little blood is going to put me off my appetite, I’m happy to prove her wrong. I demolish the whole thing in record time, ripping chunks of flesh apart with my teeth and happily sipping the mixture of blood and beef juices until I clean the plate and give Liz a little wink in response to her shocked expression.

“And here I thought a place like this would have an aversion to stakes.“

Vicky laughs uproariously. It’s a universal truth that no vampire can resist puns about themselves.

“I’ve never been so turned on in my life,” Liz says. “You’re telling me she’s really a—“

Vicky hisses an interruption. “Not here. Don’t yell at me about taking a stupid risk and then turn around and talk about it in public!”

I’ve inferred that if a certain someone in a position of authority were to learn about me being a vampire hunter in their midst, I’d be in real danger. I’m durable, but I’m not invincible, and besides, the last thing I want to do is to have to kill a bunch of vampires who think they’re just protecting themselves.

There must be a way to earn some measure of trust from the clan, show them that I’m not a danger, that I’m not like my hateful family.

“What if I found a way to prove myself?” I ask. “Make some big show of loyalty that can’t be ignored. It’s all well and good for me to repeatedly give myself to a couple of the hottest women I’ve ever met, but I don’t think anyone’s gonna believe that’s an act of altruism, per se.“

Vicky nods, stroking my cheek with affection. “You’re a freak for sure, but that’s not quite enough on its own.”

“You could wipe out one of, uh… your kind’s cells,” Liz suggests. “One that’s been directly a problem for us. That would go a long way.”

My heart skips a beat at the suggestion. Wipe out. She means doing some straight-up murder. There’d be no coming back from that, but that’s the point, isn’t it? That’s what makes it a perfect test of loyalty. If I really want to make a difference, do some real good for the world, and spit on my family’s name in the process, here’s the perfect mission.

I lean back in the booth, turning my body to the side to face her directly. “Do you know of any specific one that would fit the bill?”

“It’s my job to know these things, my dear. Though I want to enjoy your company in full before I send you out on an obvious suicide mission. The cell I’m thinking of is run by a Boltman, which is a name that should strike fear into even your heart.” She squeezes my knee. “Of course, I wouldn’t blame you for changing your mind after hearing that.”

Vicky didn’t tell her, then. Or maybe she didn’t recognize the specific family affiliation identified by my tattoo. Not sure how to bring that up myself, so maybe I won’t just yet. Still, the name doesn’t change anything, really. It only helps me solidify my own feelings. I feel my face settling into an serious expression just shy of a scowl. “Quite the opposite.” My hand clenches into a fist. “I’m eager to take that family down most of all.”

---

There’s a difference between knowing of a hunter cell and knowing where to find it, of course, but I do have some advantages the vampires lack. I’m trained in several different hunter codes, naturally including the Boltman family’s.

Graffiti marks the location of safehouses, with special markings and modifications signaling how recently it was still believed to be uncompromised and whether other hunters are welcome. Some markings warn of nearby vampire dens with an estimated population count and risk level. Others hint at stashes nearby.

I meander the streets until I spot the first such sign: a stash. A false brick in an alleyway conceals some frozen sunlight and a silver chain. Smash one, pocket the other to pawn later, then keep looking. Where there’s one sign, more will be around the area.

The first safehouse I spot is unoccupied. Not too much of a surprise there; we keep plenty of redundant ones in case someone gets followed. Lucky break, though, someone has used it recently, and decoding the log book gives me clues about where to check next.

It takes only a few days to close in on the cell’s current location, and then no time at all to convince the guard to let me in. I know all the right words, and I flash them the tattoo that marks me as one of theirs. They have no reason to doubt me.

“Hey, Carlo!” The woman who lets me in shouts louder than I think reasonable. “This a cousin of yours or something?”

A shirtless man taking swings at the punching bag in another room stops what he’s doing, wipes the sweat off his face with a nearby towel, and approaches the two of us. He looks me up and down for a moment before responding.

“Not one I’ve met before.” He extends a hand. “Carlo Boltman.”

“Hanna.” I shake his hand. “Boltman too, that is.” I lift my shirt to show him my tattoo, a perfect match for his. I’m also dressed for the occasion in my hunter’s garb: strategically armored, belt full of essentials, and with knives and stakes strapped to me in easy to reach places. The leather gorget at my neck bears the seal of Clan Boltman, one repeated on my bracers and embossed on the back of my silver pendant.

“Hanna? Just like…?” Carlo turns and shouts toward another room. “Hey, Uncle Dan, come out here.”

Does everybody here feel the need to shout instead of walking over to—

“Well, well, well, the prodigal daughter returns to the fold. And here I thought you were content to steal from me and fuck off to a life of leisure.”

“Daniel. How good to see you well.” I keep my voice measured and composed, if icy, while addressing my father. I will not show him weakness. “I was unaware you considered it stealing to take the weapons and armor that were crafted for my measurements and with which I had grown accustomed during my training. I mistakenly assumed my father would bless his daughter with the tools she needs to strike out on her own and practice the family trade.”

He laughs. “Well, if you really have taken up the family trade in this godforsaken city, I may be willing to look past your transgressions. Tell me, how many vampires have you successfully hunted so far?”

“Five,” I reply without hesitation. “Two at once just a few days ago, in fact.” The smile of satisfaction I give him is even honest.

“Hmm.” He grunts. “Inadequate, but I do believe that’s within your capabilities. Be glad you didn’t try to lie to me.”

I almost pity Carlo, eyes darting back and forth at the two of us in our chilly confrontation. While it’s clear my father must have mentioned me before, it seems he wasn’t prepared for the truth of our strained relationship.

“I thought Carlo here would be the leader of this outfit, but I know you better than to assume you’d allow anyone else to call the shots when you’re around. So why don’t you tell me what you’re planning so that I can lend you my aid and we can part ways again?”

Daniel smirks. “No, this is my dear nephew’s mission. While I have graciously volunteered some input, I would never undermine the judgment of a fully trained and independent vampire hunter of our clan.”

We glare at each other for several silent seconds before I turn my gaze to my cousin. With a rueful grin, I say to Carlo, “I’m sorry about all this. You don’t deserve to be caught up in this kind of bickering. Would you brief me on what your group has planned?”

Carlo looks back toward my father, who gives a stern nod. “Well, first you need to know that we caught word Clan Sarthe is planning something big. ‘Resurrection of Dracula’ big, in fact.”

“You can’t ‘resurrect’ a vampire.”

My father snorts his disapproval with me. “Dracula is no run-of-the-mill vampire, girl. He’s the damn source of it all! And if you don’t want your job to get a whole lot harder, you won’t rest on your laurels hoping whatever ritual those bloodsuckers are planing is a dud.”

“Right,” Carlo continues. “We don’t want to take any chances. Which is why I called in a real veteran,” he gestures at Daniel, “and why we’re gearing up to hit the main hive.”

Leading me across the room, he unfurls an old-fashioned paper map of the city. That’s certainly my father’s influence; he is convinced all the tech companies are in the pocket of Big Vampire. I recognize a good number of the circled points on the map: several major dens I’m familiar with, including the Carmine. The circle he jabs at, however, is new to me.

“Warehouse district?”

“Right. The entrance is an unmarked building. We believe it leads to a network of tunnels that sprawls… well, we don’t know how far they go, but we’re pretty sure we can expose a lot of vamps to some surprise daylight with strategically placed explosives in the area.”

The plan is vile. The more he describes it, the gladder I become that I’m here to put a stop to this before they hurt any more innocents. I’m not even sure it would work, but a lot of vampires would die either way.

I nod thoughtfully and play my role, offering suggestions as though I intend to let them attempt this cruel scheme. I introduce myself to the other members of the cell, mostly ordinary people rather than true hunters. I don’t bother learning their names. The more time I spend around people like this, the more my own humanity disgusts me, the more apart I feel from all of them.

These people are not my real family. I know where I belong.

At night, most everyone falls asleep. The one exception, aside from me, is the guy keeping watch, just starting his night shift. The man doesn’t watch his back at all, and I quietly slip behind him and slit his throat.

It’s a nice safehouse, with enough rooms for everyone to have their own place to sleep even with six of us here. Better still, the walls are thick enough to muffle any brief struggle someone might offer, but I won’t need to rely on that as long as I hit them quickly and effectively. Fortunately, I am well trained in where and how to stab someone to prevent them from raising an alert.

Inside the first bedroom is the sweet girl who let me in. She sleeps on her back. I crush her windpipe, and in the same fluid motion I stab her through the heart. Her blood soaks the sheets without so much as a squeak of distress.

The second bedroom is where things go wrong. Carlo is awake, with someone going down on him. He’s too distracted to notice my entrance right away, but I don’t get far before he starts to yell.

My knife sails in a graceful arc from my hand into his eye socket. I dive forward, drawing another to stab through the sheets into the back of the nobody fellating my cousin. Carlo scrambles, losing blood, clearly in a panic, and I drive my second knife up through his diaphragm. Soon he too collapses.

That shout. There’s no way it didn’t wake Daniel up. After weighing my options, I choose to dash from the room yelling, “we’ve got company!”

Perhaps my father really is a sentimental old fool to the end. He bursts from his own room, armed with the famous family blade, and as I watch him scan the hallways holding that sword of his aloft, he shows no suspicion whatsoever toward me.

“How many, Hanna?”

“Two, I think. No idea how they got in.”

He swears under his breath, moving past me to peek into Carlo’s room, trusting me to watch his back. “Shit, Hanna. At least I’ve got you here. I never told you this, but—“

It’s all the opportunity I need to drive my dagger into his neck. I lever it back and forth to really shred his carotid artery and send his blood spraying like a fountain. Fuck that feels good. Oh, that really feels good.

On an impulse, I lean forward and catch the spray of blood in my mouth. It’s not like I draw strength from it like a proper vampire, but I’ve learned to love that salty, metallic flavor in my own way, and today it tastes like my freedom from this damn family of mine.

“Fuck you, dad.” I smear crimson victory across my face and laugh with sheer, manic joy. “I’d tell you to go to hell, but you always said that’s where all vampires go when they die for good.” I slice deeper, all but severing his head, then follow up by stabbing him again and again in each vital organ. Can never be too sure with a vampire hunter. “I’m sure, whenever I end up dying, that’s where I’m going too. And I’d rather not have you around while I’m spending my afterlife with everyone I ever loved.” I spit on his body. “If hell is my fate, then you can go to heaven or go to oblivion, but wherever the fuck you end up, go there without me.”

I grab my phone and text my family to let them know that there are some rapidly cooling bodies for them to enjoy if they’re feeling peckish. Also, I’ll appreciate their help taking some photos and videos to document my beautiful sins.

[shina913]

The Boyfriend Experience | JJK

The Boyfriend Experience: Jungkook

The BFE: Masterlist

Pairing: Escort!Jungkook x Fem!Reader

Rating: M

Genre: Fake!dating; fluff; light angst; SFW (generally)

Warnings: Sexually suggestive conversations and tones; cussing; alcohol consumption; boyfriend-for-hire; some kissing; JK is very touchy here

Word count: 9,355 words

Summary: 💬 He’s a confident man who takes pride in his appearance, but also in how he treats other people. He loves to have a good time, but still holds strong values on being respectful and well-mannered. Chivalry is not dead! 

A/N: Ackk--okay so...I didn't mean for this to be super long but it just worked out that way! I really wanted a sweet, encouraging, JJK story. I'm also projecting a bit because...I'm a little frustrated at my job. Anyway, I hope you'll like it. It's smut-free but I hope you'll still find it endearing?😬 I do love how the boys are encouraging to fans, especially on their social media posts and such so I wanted to highlight that a bit here. I still added hints of thirst...because I'm me. 🤷‍♀️

A/N2: Thank you to my sis @internetjunkdrawer for beta'ing and being so supportive even as I kept switching up this story for the Nth time.

A/N3: If you want to read about JK and all of his sexy glory, there's always Coquet 😘

A/N4: LMK if you catch a couple of easter eggs here!

‼️IMPORTANT: Although the narration will include Jungkook's name, OC/Reader will not address him as so because she booked him under an assumed alias. Weird, I know but--let's just go with it 😉

You were proud to be a self-made woman. You had a steady corporate job, an actual retirement fund, and a decent apartment with a bedroom and a kitchen. You didn’t have any responsibilities other than your bills and yourself. 

Things could always be worse, you thought. On the other hand, things could be better.

You valued your independence. You wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. But you couldn’t deny that you had some days when you would feel pressure to lock things down with a partner or significant other.

The company you worked at was not only headed by predominantly male staff but the two women who were in upper management positions were married and had children.

Although you had a great track record, you’ve been stuck in the highest mid-level position for a few years. Recently, you’ve helped bring in new contracts, additional revenue; not to mention that all of those clients raved about you.

You’ve worked very hard and were fully expecting a promotion before the end of the year. You knew it had to be in the bag!

Today, you had a scheduled lunch date with your former coworker, Miri Jang, whom you haven’t seen since she left the company. You talked about coming so close to making it to senior account manager in the last couple years but for some reason, kept falling short.

“I think it’s my time, Miri. It should be,” you remarked.

“Not to burst your bubble, YN but don’t hold your breath,” Miri responded cynically.

You laughed. “Are you kidding me? I had the best performance this last quarter and the one before that! I could totally represent the company in front of big-name clients!”

She gave you a deadpan look. “To be the face of the company, you have to be relatable.”

Your eyebrows creased in confusion. “What the fuck does that mean?”

Miri inhaled sharply. “I was told once, ‘We need to foster a warm, welcoming environment to attract more lucrative clients to partner with’.”

“My clients like me just fine,” you retorted. “I haven’t heard otherwise!”

“Riiight…But at the end of the day, it’s a…” she gestured air-quotations with her hands, “‘Family-run company’, YN. They think that single employees are more likely to switch jobs more frequently because they see them as people who don’t believe in long-term commitments. But if you had a family? There’s a bit more incentive there,” she explains.

Much to your own family’s chagrin, you were unapologetically single. They think that if you aren't well on your way to being a wife or a mother by a specific age, there must be something wrong with you. And if you aren't looking for a partner, your parents would take matters into their own hands and arrange one for you.

You’re beautiful, smart, and have a great personality so…why aren’t you married or in a committed relationship?

Your biological clock is ticking!

It all gets very old and stale after some time.

You give her a quizzical look then shake your head in denial. “That doesn’t seem to add up.” You were unconvinced that your singlehood was an obstacle. If anything, you have more leeway to put in time and effort since you don’t have any other commitments other than your job!

“So you’re telling me that I need to be married or have children to secure this promotion?” You were incredulous. 

Your former colleague threw her head back in laughter. “Of course not! At least, they can’t legally ask you to do that. They’re simply saying that being in a committed relationship or having a family helps with relatability,” she leered.

Come to think of it, most people from your cohort who were recently promoted were married and/or had children. Still–that can’t be legal, could it?

“If you ever want to take your talents elsewhere, my company has openings. We can definitely use someone like you on our team. Child-bearing hips not required,” she smiled and winked at you.

You went back to your office after that lunch date with your ego slightly deflated.

So you needed somebody in your life…to show that you were committed to your job? It sounded like bullshit and a small part of you wanted to prove Miri wrong.

The company’s year-end celebration was coming up. You initially planned on going alone, per usual. But with your recent discovery, you now needed a contingency plan. This event not only invited existing clients but it was also a huge networking opportunity.

It wasn’t like you didn’t try to bring a date to any of these company events. It’s just that there weren’t any good candidates for you. You weren’t dating anyone seriously–at least, not serious enough to bring them to company or family functions.

The only friends that you have were either unavailable or uninterested in accompanying you to the year-end party.

Until…you had a stroke of genius: hire someone to pose as your significant other for the evening.

Sure, you could have gone on dating apps or picked someone up at a bar–but those options might prove to be too complicated. If you were going to take a risk, you’d rather it be a calculated one.

******

“Do we have to have sex?” You ask Jungkook point-blank. He is an escort…and while that was usually on the table, it wasn’t what you were hiring him for.

“No.” He says simply. “This is why we have conversations like this. We need to come to an agreement about what you need or what you want.” He paused to regard you intently. He narrowed his eyes slightly, zeroing in on you. With one look, he escalated the temperature from warm to white-hot…just like that.

Geez, YN. Control yourself. Focus!

Downloading the app and creating your profile was easy. But getting your foot in the door–that was a whole other story. You had to sign an NDA before you could even gain access to this backroom speakeasy.

It was an exclusive club. One where you needed to be referred to by a current member. You got the idea from one of your high-value clients–with lots of disposable income and a frequent patron.

But even with the referral, not everyone is accepted that easily. You’d have to pass a background check and a health check, for your safety and the escorts’.

And my god! Once you were in, it was like being in a candy store. You could browse the app and explore escort profiles–which are recommended by compatibility based on your preliminary intake. Each profile had a photo and contained brief bios, personal interests, and ‘specialties’. It made you slightly uneasy, but this was better than getting a friend to do this for you. At least these guys were professionals.

On the app, you can schedule a ‘mini-date’ with an escort of your choosing. You would meet them at the secret club room–which was housed in the back of a high-end restaurant. Very unassuming, you thought, but it was an ingenious cover story.

This backroom had mood lighting illuminating the space. It was darker, quieter, more intimate. Each escort was on a mini-date, which was mostly one-on-one. You spotted a woman talking to two males. Either she was being greedy or she was having trouble deciding.

One of them looked sweet–he was touchy but not in a creepy way. He had a cute crinkle in his eye whenever he smiled. The other was soft-spoken but had a look so intense that you could swear it made any woman’s panties drop upon eye contact. 

You could see her dilemma—they both looked very desirable. But poly-dates were not allowed in this club. To get the most out of your experience, you can only book one. That was a shame.

But it didn’t really matter since you were completely happy with your choice. 

His photo and profile intrigued you. Of course, that wasn’t his real name. None of them used their real names–which was fine. Unfortunately, you had to use your real name since you’d have to take him out in public.

Unlike those dating apps you’ve perused a while back, the photos on this app were as close as you could get to the real thing. They were meant to whet your appetite–which was a great marketing tool because you certainly bought it. And now here he was…in the flesh. He seriously looked Photoshopped. How was that possible?

And he smelled like heaven. No, not one of those annoying woodsy-floral notes that seems to be popular amongst the smarmy senior account managers at your office. His scent was warm and spicy with subtle hints of citrus. It was more intoxicating than the glass of prosecco that you had in front of you.

You rubbed your already-crimson earlobe then cleared your throat to compose yourself again.

“Uhm, so, I guess you’ve read my profile on the app and my comments about what I need out of this experience?”

He hummed in agreement. “Yes, I read your notes.”

“Okay, great! In so many words, I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend for a work function,” you stated.

“Sounds simple enough–”

“I’m not done,” you respond curtly, making his eyebrows lift in surprise.

You softened the edge in your voice. “I apologize. I’m just a little tense, that’s all. I just…really need my plan to work and–”

“Hey, that’s what I’m here for.” Something about the look in his eyes offered assurance and it placated you.“I’m here to help you. And I apologize for interrupting you as well. Please, continue,” he urges.

“I’m trying to get in good with the senior partners at my firm. I’m done waiting for this promotion that should have already happened last year. Which is why…I’m taking matters into my own hands.” You couldn’t hide the bitterness in your tone. 

“All of my bosses and some well-known associates will be at this party, along with their significant others. If I have to play their game, I’m going to need some backup.”

“Who are we trying to impress here, exactly?” He sounds genuinely curious. “I need to know who’s going to be in the room; how old they would be or gender ratio…”

“It’s…primarily men. The goal is to land a huge account that evening. If I can do that, it should show them that I deserve to be within their ranks. Our CEO will be there too, so if I can impress him–even better!”

Both his eyebrows flick up. “Okay. So, how do you see my role in this?”

You exhaled sharply. “I need to prove to my bosses that I am capable of commitment whether it’s with my job…or my personal life.”

If being single is seen as flaky or untrustworthy in your company, you want to prove them wrong. You could show them that you can be in a committed relationship. At least, until you’ve secured this promotion.

He stared at you for a few seconds to make sure that you were done talking before he responded. “Alright.”

Your face twitches slightly. “‘Alright?’ Simple as that?” You’re not sure why you were led to believe that this was going to be a more complex process given the vetting process you had to through just to secure this membership.

He lifted a shoulder. “Yeah. Just tell me when, where, and what talking points I need to look into so that I can do some research, if I need to.“

Talking points? Research?

He sounded thorough and really wanted to make a good impression to sell this story. 

You give him a rundown of some interests that your senior staff had. Your CEO had a penchant for wine and recently invested in a small vineyard in Napa Valley. It was all he could talk about in the last few months. About midway through, Jungkook asks one of the servers for a pen and paper, continuing to take notes about the ‘job.’

You appreciated that attention to detail. You started to think that you may be getting your money’s worth.

You went on to describe a couple other people whom you wanted to impress at the party, most especially your managing director, who had a say in your promotion.

When you finished, it was his turn to talk through other necessary details about your arrangement.

“What’s our cover story? How did we meet, how long have we been together…in case anybody asks. Oh, and you’ll have to tell me how intimate I can be with you.”

“Intimate?” You croaked out. You thought that ‘intimacy’ was optional–which was why it was the first thing that you asked him during this mini-date. You internally panic and reach up to your earlobe to press on it gently. 

“I mean, can I hold your hand? Are you okay with me touching you anywhere else? Can I kiss you?”

“Oh…uhm...s-sure.” Your eyes immediately flick down to his mouth briefly. It was very distracting.

“So…where?

Your breath hitched, snapping you out of your daze. “I beg your pardon?”

“Where can I touch or kiss you?”

You paused for a few seconds to consider this before you answered him. “Cheek, lips…” you say as casually as possible before quickly adding, “Not open-mouthed, though.”

He chuckles and nods along. “No problem.”

“And you can hold my hand, waist, or shoulders...” You rub your earlobe again as you try your best not to visibly sweat while you discuss parts of your body that this very unreasonably attractive and sexy-smelling man can put his hands on.

He cocked his head to the side, eyeing you carefully. “Is that a nervous tick?” 

You stilled. “What is?”

“That,” he gestures at your hand fidgeting with your ears.

“Oh…uhm…coping mechanism,” you say nonchalantly. “It calms me down,” you reasoned.

He pursed his lips and nodded. “I see.” He subtly makes note of it.

You exhaled deeply. Focus, YN. You tell him where the event would be at and approximately how long you’d be there before he told you how much he would charge. You’d need him for about 3-4 hours. Once you agreed on his rate, you moved on to discuss the dress code.

“Do you have a tux or do you need me to rent you one?”

He chuckled again. “I have a couple, but I appreciate the offer.”

After hearing what his hourly rate was, you had no doubt he had a couple of tuxes…nice, bespoke ones, you presumed.

“What are you wearing?”

His question catches you off-guard. If you didn’t know better, you’d say it was a come-on. “Does that matter? We don’t need to coordinate or anything. This isn’t prom,” you joked.

He laughed. “I know that but I want to complement your outfit. Aesthetics draw people’s attention. I think it would help.”

You purse your lips, turning pensive for a bit but eventually acquiesced. He notes that you were wearing a jewel-toned dress.

“Okay, so I’ll need you to meet me at–”

“Wouldn’t it be more believable if we arrived in the same car together?”

You hadn’t thought about that. You were slightly apprehensive about driving around with a stranger, much less a boyfriend-for-hire. Then again, this wasn’t just any run-of-the-mill escort service. Everything about this place screamed high-class. The app also assures background checks and necessary clearances for all of their employees.

“If it makes you feel more comfortable, we can meet at a neutral place, then we can take my car to the venue.”

“Sounds practical,” you uttered then proceeded to set a meeting place and time so you could drive together. “Okay so, we’re all set? Do I give you the money now or…after?”

“You can give it to me when we meet–either before or at the end of the night, once you’re satisfied with the service,” he finished with a smile.

You cleared your throat. You were really doing this…

“So, I know our time’s almost up but did you have any more questions for me?”

“No.” You felt confident that your plan would work. “What about you? Do you have any questions for me?”

“If you don’t mind me asking, why are you single or…not in a committed relationship?”

You squinted at him suspiciously. “And how is that relevant to our agreement?”

“Knowing helps me form a bond with my clients. It also enhances the experience or customizes it, if you will.” He smiled faintly.

And then there it was again–that stare. Something about that look made you feel safe and encouraged you to open up.

You paused before you answered. You’d already worked this out in your head and justified it over and over…“I just haven’t found anybody who respects my independence. I know that seems counterintuitive especially if you’re trying to find a partner but–I want to be with somebody who is comfortable with the thought of me not needing them all the time.”

“That’s an interesting take.”

You sighed wistfully. “To me, the concept of ‘needing someone’ is because you’re expecting some sort of benefit from them…as if they’re necessary for you to function properly. That’s where dependency lies and I do not want to be dependent on anybody. I do, however, want somebody to love…or care about. Wanting something or someone involves desire, passion…comfort.”

His eyebrows lifted at that. “Wow,” he blew out. “That’s deep.”

You rolled your eyes and laughed, taking a sip of your drink. “I’ve just been in one too many relationships where my partners have always complained about me not making them feel needed. And the truth is, I don’t need them,” you said simply before turning serious again, “I want them in my life, but they just didn’t understand so I focused my energy elsewhere.”

He nodded in earnest. “I hope that I can fulfill some of your wants.”

“You already are,” you smiled.

The next morning, you called the assistant about changing your RSVP to include a plus one. Luckily, another guest backed out, and they were able to make room at your table for your date.

******

On the day of your company’s party, you pulled into the parking structure a few blocks away from the venue, where you and Jungkook agreed to meet. When you reach the third level, you spot him standing next to a sleek, black, two-door Mercedes C-class Coupe. You pull your own white, Mercedes E-class next to his and parked.

“Nice ride,” He remarked at your car as you stepped out.

“Thanks,” you responded, then gestured at his car. “Clearly…great minds think alike!”

“I wish! It’s a company car,” he clarifies. Your eyebrows flick up and wonder how many ‘companies’ like his had $50,000 cars on-hand for ‘business purposes.’

He gives you a once-over and compliments you. “You look beautiful, Miss YLN.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” you compliment him back. He was dressed in a matte, all-black tuxedo with silk lapels and a black bowtie. The only hint of color on his outfit was a pocket square matching your dress’ hue, which you noted appreciatively.

And you thought he couldn’t get any sexier. You internally fanned yourself.

“First things first!” You opened your clutch and took out an envelope that took up most of the space in it and handed it to him.

He glanced down at it before accepting it. “Are you sure you don’t want to wait until the end of the night to see how it goes first?”

Still holding your hand out, you cocked an eyebrow at him. “Are you saying that I should have second thoughts about this?” You countered.

He smiled confidently before quietly taking the envelope from you, tucking it in his jacket’s inside pocket and smoothing the front once more.

“Ready for showtime?” He asks.

“As I’ll ever be,” you respond before he opens the passenger door for you to slide into.

******

Your company went all out—valet parking, red carpet rollout to welcome all guests.

Jungkook hands the attendant his keys and you both walk up to the entrance, hand-in-hand. 

The event was held at a fine arts museum whose structure was originally modeled after a French-style pavilion. It was located on the other side of the city, over a hill with sweeping views of the Pacific ocean.

The venue had a large atrium in which guests would be drinking and dining. It was surrounded by large, concrete columns that covered the whole perimeter and at the center of it all was an illuminated glass pyramid—which was where a small stage was set up.

Since the museum housed many classic, invaluable collections, museum staff imposed restrictions on guests milling around with beverages or appetizers next to the art.

You scanned the room and spotted a few of your coworkers, already in deep conversation with a few of their current clients.

“Who are we going for first?” He asks.

You crane your neck in search of your managing director. You locate him having a conversation with your CEO. Two birds with one stone, you guided Jungkook in their direction.

“Sunbaenim,” you bowed, greeting both of them.

“YN-ssi!” They bowed back, acknowledging you.

You introduce Jungkook to them, using his assumed name, and they exchange handshakes and pleasantries.

“Are you in finance, too?” Your CEO asks him after some small talk about the weather and the party.

“No. I’m in the hospitality business, actually. Client services, specifically,” Jungkook replied. You couldn’t help but shoot him a sideways look.

“Ah, I see. And how is business?”

“Very lucrative, actually,” Jungkook smirked and side-eyed you back, making you clear your throat sheepishly.

“Really?” He asked dubiously. “How so?”

“Well, I work for a private company that caters to a very specific yet virtually untapped market. Our clients pay top dollar to acquire our services and we’ve been very successful at it in the last few years.”

“Huh. That’s interesting. Which company is this again?”

“Le Groupe De L’Atelier,” he answered smoothly. “Have you heard of it?”

Your scalp prickles while you shift uncomfortably. Jungkook sounded as if he was winging this whole part of the conversation. You wanted to jump in but your director interrupted.

“Oh wow–” he breathed out, sounding impressed. “Your restaurant is very popular. I’ve uh–been wanting to get in touch with your CEO for a while. Any way you can put in a good word for me?” Your director asks opportunistically.

You grimaced. “Oh, director-nim–he’s not here to work,” you interject nervously while squeezing Jungkook’s arm.

“That’s okay, jagi,” Jungkook says sweetly. “Hyung gets a lot of partnership offers but he prefers to keep the corporation closed and limits contractors.”

Your director frowns. “Oh…surely he needs a good financial manager–”

“I believe he already has one,” Jungkook counters with a smile. “And he’s had a great working relationship with her over the years so, I think that’s taken care of.” That effectively ended that topic.

“Anyway,” Jungkook piped up, “Hyung has been looking into partnering with a local vineyard to expand our wine offerings. Do you have any suggestions?”

Your CEO’s eyes brighten and he begins to wax poetic about his newly purchased vineyard.

Jungkook glances at you and gives you a small wink, which makes you visibly relax. 

******

Next, you approached a group of other analysts from your team.

You went down the line and introduced your boyfriend. They shook his hand in awe and approval.

“See that guy over there?” You whispered to him, pointing towards your office rival on the other side of the room. He bent down, leaning his ear closer to you. “That’s Wonwoo. We’ve been gunning for the same promotion all year.”

Wonwoo was not as motivated or competitive as you were. He was technically a non-factor but you noticed that your boss had been meeting with him often to share some ‘tricks of the trade.’ You tried to think nothing of it but suddenly recalled your conversation with Miri not so long ago.

Wonwoo was married and he and his wife had a baby on the way. Picture-perfect family. 100% committed.

You took a gulp of your drink. All you need is just one huge, notable account–and that promotion should be yours.

“He looks pretty unremarkable to me,” he mumbled back before one of your colleagues brought up a new topic of conversation. Every now and then, with your consent, he would massage your neck or put his hand around your waist protectively. He also continued to call you ‘jagiya,’ but not in an obnoxious way. His actions made you giggle–which shocked you more than it did your colleagues. His touches felt like you were trapped in a heatwave…one that made you desperate for a cold shower.

At dinner, a steady stream of alcohol flowed along with the conversation. You scanned the table in search of clues to find out if anybody was onto you–perhaps a weird stare or some whispering. You didn’t see any of that. You and Jungkook seemed to be a very believable couple!

It also helped that he was incredibly charming and humble at the same time. He talked about his hobbies and varied interests which didn’t seem all that extraordinary to you but the entire table was enthralled by him.

For a moment, it felt like you were the envy of everyone not just at the table but the whole room. Jungkook was the date the women at your table wanted to be with. Every party guest and colleague you encountered wanted to be his friend. 

He was certainly a gentleman in every sense of the word. Earlier this evening, he opened doors for you, helped you with your coat, pulled your chair out, and with your consent, placed his hand on your leg or caressed your bare arm every so often.

You’d never know if he was a genuine guy or just a great actor. Still, it felt nice to be treated well and showered with affection.

******

After place settings were cleared out, everyone continued to mill around the party.

“I think things are going well, don’t you?” You asked Jungkook absently while you scanned the room for your next target.

“I don’t see why they wouldn’t be,” he replies smoothly.

You turned your head to regard him. “You know, you’re really good at this,” you complimented him. He kept up with conversations, even laughing politely at your coworkers’ bland jokes. He chimed in topics that seemed way out of left-field but he was always prepared with a quip or two.

“Me?” He points to himself incredulously. “Honestly, I feel like I haven’t done much except hang back and watch you. I just crack a couple jokes and talk about random stuff. You, on the other hand, are amazing at what you do. I’m starting to forget what you needed me for,” he joked.

“You have the charm factor! And…suddenly, I seem much more interesting to my coworkers now that I’m out in public with a date,” you remark with slight bitterness.

“You’re doing just fine, YN,” he says in consolation.

You inwardly groan. “Thanks,” you say sardonically. “Now I just need to find a big fish to reel in to look even more appealing. Once I do that, it should definitely give me a boost.”

You took a sip of your drink while you tensely scan the room again for other potential clients. Suddenly, you feel a warmth curl around your bare shoulders.

“Relax,” he crooned softly. He reached up slightly, stroking your earlobe and applied the faintest pressure with his thumb. “You’re too wound up,” he purred.

You peered up at him, his eyes boring into you, making your breath hitch and your mouth dry. When you pulled on your earlobes, it was a coping mechanism that helped center you; whereas he managed to turn it into foreplay.

“Feel better?”

Quite the opposite.

“Uhm,” you stammered hoarsely. “Sure…t-thanks.” You take a huge gulp of your drink to distract yourself again until you recognize someone familiar in the crowd.

“Oh! That’s Jessica Nam! Wow, she actually came,” you gasped in disbelief and turned to Jungkook.

The name didn’t ring a bell for him so he continued to stare blankly at you.

“S-sorry.” You apologized for expecting him to know a potential client. “Her e-commerce company’s valuation just hit a billion dollars,” you explained. “She just announced an expansion.”

He eyed her for a second, noticing that she was sitting at her table alone, not counting the two other guests who didn’t seem to notice her. She was sipping on her drink quietly, and texted on her phone, looking bored. If this woman was so rich, why wasn’t anybody crowding her, he wondered.

“Okay,” he takes your word for it. “But how come nobody’s trying to fleece her?”

You sighed softly. “Her company sells lingerie–via subscription.”

“Oh…and…that’s…a turnoff?” He asks slowly.

You clicked your teeth. “No. But she’s what my boss calls ‘new money.’ She started off as a social media personality who then capitalized on her base when she launched her business. And it worked to her advantage! I think she’s impressive.”

“And she doesn’t count as a potential big fish to reel in?”

“I feel that she is! It’s my boss who thinks she’s too new to the scene. Word on the street is that she’s shopping for a reputable wealth management firm. Our company invited her in an effort to reach out but…I don’t think my boss wants to put much effort in it. He’s doing the bare minimum.”

“Well, what do you want to do about it?” Jungkook turned to you.

“I’ve been wanting to schedule a meeting with her but I can never get through. She’s a busy woman.”

“What’s stopping you now? She’s right there! It’s not like she’s got armed guards or whatever.”

You sighed. “I technically need to have my boss present before going for a big account like that.”

Jungkook looked at you incredulously. “It’s a party! You’re just trying to make conversation! This might be the ace you need for your hand.”

“Hmm…” You hesitated. You knew the protocol. Your boss allowed you to speak to potential clients but usually under his direct orders. He always had to make the final, formal pitch and afterwards, sign the client with the company. You didn’t want to steal his thunder. Otherwise, it would compromise all of the schmoozing progress you’ve made this evening.

“Aish, screw your boss! You clearly respect this woman’s hustle–use that to your advantage! What’s the worst that could happen?”

You know what? Fuck it!

“You’re right,” you say, fully fired up by Jungkook. “I’m gonna go reel me a big fish!”

Together, you approached Ms. Nam, introducing yourself and your ‘boyfriend’. When it was his turn to shake her hand, he made eye contact with her and you could have sworn that she got a bit of whiplash.

Despite that, he kept himself calm and collected and was his usual gentlemanly self. While you made smalltalk with her, his eyes wandered towards the one side of the atrium–where he found your director eyeing your movements.

******

As you chat up your potential client about what your company can do for her, Jungkook excused himself to get you another drink. Your conversation was sounding a bit technical and he didn’t want to cramp your style.

On his way there, he passes your managing director, who was now joined by your company’s CEO, looking like they were having a casual conversation. He was fully intent on ignoring it but his ears perk up when he hears your name. He walked back slightly and hid behind one of the columns to listen in.

“Do you see YN making her move with the mail-order panty lady,” your director quipped, making the CEO chuckle.

“Well, her profits have been trending upward showing no signs of stopping,” your CEO remarked. “It would be great if we can sign her exclusively to manage her finances.”

“I trust YN to get the sales-talk going. Luckily, since she’s only a junior analyst. She has to defer to me to sign clients,” your director points out.

“You know, if she books this meeting, it will really raise our profile,” your CEO adds.

“I know–which is why, I’m thinking about bringing Wonwoo to the formal pitch. He can seal the deal on this. I’ve been mentoring him in the last couple months.”

“He’s planning on buying a house up north, right?” your CEO wondered out loud.

“He is,” your director confirms. “He and his wife are expecting their first kid–would be nice to get a nice commission to cover some of that downpayment, huh?”

“Yes, I think that’s a great idea,” your CEO bemused. “Keep me posted on that progress, huh?”

“I will, sunbaenim.”

Jungkook, forgetting about his bladder, decided to double-back to where you sat. This was something that he needed to let you know right away.

******

“I love your spunk, YN!” Jessica Nam laughs.

You were making great strides in your conversation with Miss Nam. If it were up to you, you’d draw up a contract on a cocktail napkin right this second to seal the deal.

“Seriously, though–that business expansion that you’re planning? I think it’s genius and it’s the next logical step!”

“It is, isn’t it?” She remarked. “And please, call me Jessi. ‘Miss Nam’ makes me feel way older than I need to be. Well–” she suddenly switched tact, “It does come in handy every now and then…especially during business meetings with male financial advisors,” she smiled ruefully. “It’s probably the only way I can garner respect.”

You sighed regretfully. “I’m sorry to hear that, Jessi.” She was young and became financially successful unconventionally. Unfortunately, some people only saw her as a bag of money.

“One of your staff has been relentless with my assistant. He’s leaving messages at my office, asking for a meeting. He said ‘hi’ earlier, made some boring smalltalk…” she craned her neck to look around before spotting him in one corner by the columns. “That guy!” She gestured at your boss.

“Oh,” you say, slightly embarrassed. “Yeah, he’s my managing director,” you replied carefully.

Feeling slightly suspicious, she cocked an eyebrow. “That’s…interesting,” she drawled.

However, you quickly added, “We don’t share the same principles, though, Jessi. I guarantee you that,” you assured her. “And if you give me an opportunity, I can give you a more formal presentation on what I think would be the best approach for your company. Much like your business, I don’t believe in a one-size-fits-all plan. I think that there should be something for everyone–something that fits you perfectly and makes you look and feel good.”

Her face visibly relaxed. “Hm…tell me more,” she uttered, her interest piqued.

******

Jungkook returns to your table as you chat away. He quietly presents you with a drink and hands a glass of wine to Jessica.

After you mouthed your thanks, you feel his hand squeeze your shoulder. You turned your head and he smiled warmly at you. You had to admit, it was endearing.

Jessica smiled at the silent exchange. “You two look so cute together,” she mused.

“Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just the trophy boyfriend,” Jungkook jested. “It’s YN here who's the real diamond.” His thumb and forefinger grazed your earring, and moved to your earlobe.

Normally, you’d cringe at that but he was on a hot streak tonight. You had to admit, the compliment warmed your cheeks…among other things.

Jessica sipped on her drink, then sighed. “You’ve given me a lot of things to consider, YN.”

“I hope so, Jessi. And–” you paused to reach into your clutch for a business card then handed it to her. “I’d love for us to talk more. I’m available for questions, any day.”

She accepts your card and smiles. “You’ll hear from me soon, YN.”

Her tone sounded really promising. You think you’ve left a good impression. On that note, you excused yourself, not wanting to hover too much and just hoped for the best.

Resting his hand on the small of your back, you and Jungkook walk away. When you were out of earshot, he immediately said, “Listen, I need to tell you something important.”

******

You were absolutely livid after Jungkook told you about what he overheard your bosses saying about you. To avoid making a scene, he walks you out into the courtyard, to blow off some steam–away from the party.

“That is so fucked up!” You fumed.

“Wonwoo?!” You spat out. “Him?” You were incredulous. You were in the same cohort but he never operated on the same level as you did.

“I’ve been working my ass off for five years and how am I still nowhere near making senior analyst? It’s…” You shook your head, unclench your fists and let out a growl of frustration. “I have way more billable hours than Wonwoo! I work late all the fucking time; I am the first to volunteer for all of the firm’s charity shit…I should be the shoo-in here! Yet they’re picking him?” You raged.

“YN…”

You paced around and took several deep breaths to calm yourself. You still had a chance to salvage this. “You know what? I have to seal the deal with Jessica Nam and just do what I need to do…then it should be fine. It should be fine,” you repeated.

“You know, you say that word a lot.”

“What?” You say hastily.

“‘Should.’”

“Huh?” You were confused.

“Seems like you work your way through your career around the word ‘should.’ Do you ever notice that?”

“N-no. I don’t think…”

“The first time we met, you said, ‘This promotion should have happened last year;’ or if you pull this off, ‘it should show them’ that you deserve this. Then tonight, you said, you need to ‘do what you need to do then it should be fine’.”

That didn’t seem right. You couldn’t have been using the word that much.

“Do you always have an idea as to how things should go for you?” 

“Well, I do have goals,” you reasoned. “And I believe that if you continue to push hard, make the right connections, you shou–” You stopped yourself and pursed your lips immediately while he grinned, proving his point. 

“Fine!” You relented. “So I’m a little more determined than most people and I like to manifest things. It keeps me focused.” You then looked down at your palms. “Because if I don’t, I’ll just keep wandering around aimlessly. I’m not a fan of winging it!”

He gave you a sympathetic smile. “I get it. Some people like to believe that if they push hard enough, they can change things as opposed to accepting them as they are.”

You shifted your stance while you considered his comment.

“Have you ever wondered about what you would do if your ‘shoulds’ don’t work out? Would you be open to going about things differently?”

You opened your mouth tentatively to speak but truthfully, you didn’t know the answer to his question. You weren’t sure if you had an answer for it.

“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but coming from an outsider’s perspective? I don’t get why you’re trying so hard to get a seat at this table. A table that nobody seems to want to make room for you.”

You sighed in irritation. “It’s not supposed to be easy. It’s…it’s just the way things are,” you justified. “That’s how you filter the unworthy ones.”

He scoffed. “Just because they make it so, doesn’t mean that’s how it should be.”

You paused and stared at him as if he’d grown two extra heads.

“Why don’t you look for another table where they make you feel welcome? Or better yet, here’s a crazy idea–build your own table!”

The thought of you leaving and starting all over again–it was daunting. You had worked so hard, invested so much of your time and effort, making many sacrifices along the way.

“This is supposed to be the top company to work for! I’ve...given so much just to get to where I’m at…” You groan in frustration. “And I’m just supposed to walk away from all that?”

He nods, trying to understand your justification of the situation. “Okay, I got that part. Suppose this all works out and you manage to force your way into this promotion. What now? Do you think they’ll make things easier for you then?”

You didn’t know that for sure. You were already jumping through hoops at this point! Meanwhile, all Wonwoo had to do was be married, knock up his wife, and continue to half-ass his client calls. 

“I understand that some people need some form of validation–that’s an inherent human desire. But…you shouldn’t have to beg for it. If you think you’ve been doing great things this whole time– yet you still haven’t received that recognition that you know you rightfully deserve? Maybe it’s time to move onto some place where they appreciate you for who you are and what you do, instead of forcing you to conform to their righteous criteria.”

Somehow, in the back of your mind, you already knew this but you’ve been in denial. You didn’t need to prove your commitment to the company–that should have already been evident from the moment you broke the single-day contract signing record.

But those shoulds didn’t come through for you then. What difference would they make now?

“I know we haven’t known each other long but–I think you’re a badass! You’re a badass dwarfed by a bunch of dicks.”

That made you laugh.

“I’m serious! I’m not pulling your leg here. I think you can stand toe-to-toe with any one of those guys. It’s just that–this system has you set up for failure. They don’t think you could be great. And based on what I heard back there, they didn’t even think much about you at all!”

You got a sinking feeling–especially after your former colleague, Miri, left nearly two years ago. She didn’t seem like she held a grudge against the company but you suspected that she’d been shanked.

“I mean, obviously, you have final say on whatever you want to do. I’m fully aware of my place in this.”

“No, don’t say that.” you interjected softly.

He regarded you curiously.

“If there’s anything I learned from you tonight, it’s to not minimize myself. You should practice what you preach.“

He grinned at you. “There you go!”

You let out a long sigh. “You’ve given me a lot to think about.”

Jungkook nodded gently. “Do you still want to head back inside?” He asked softly.

“Yes, but only to say goodbye to a few people. After that, I think we should call it a night, if that’s okay with you?”

His eyes softened before bobbing his head for a nod. “I’m good with whatever you decide, YN.”

“Thank you.”

“After you,” he utters, stretching his hand out towards the pathway leading back into the atrium.

After saying goodbye to a few clients in attendance, you excused yourself, telling Jungkook that you needed to make one last stop in the ladies’ room before heading back to the parking lot to retrieve your car.

******

“You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were stalking me,” a female voice said.

You look up at the mirror in front of you to find Jessica Nam’s reflection as she washed her hands over the sink next to you.

“Jessi…hi!”

“Fancy seeing you here,” she joked. “Are you staying for the dancing?”

You laughed softly. “Oh, no…I’m actually going to call it a night.”

“That’s a shame. I really enjoyed our conversation this evening. Most exciting one I’ve had in a while. Now I have to deal with all of these stiffs for the rest of the night. Your boss was not-so-subtly hovering and making inappropriate jokes,” she jested. “Maybe I should take that as a sign to take my leave, too.”

“I’m…sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t worry, YN. You don’t need to apologize for anything.” she smiled. “Well, anyway,” she sighed while she wiped her hands with paper towels. “I’ve been thinking about what you said earlier and I’ve decided that–I would love to sit down and talk more–say…at my office?”

Your jaw nearly drops to the floor in shock. “Uhm–uh…wow. Yes…yes! Thank you!” Your mind started to race. This was a huge opportunity for you.

“You can reach me here.” She hands you her business card. “I’m usually in the office during the week but if I’m not, my assistant will set up a schedule for us to meet. I’ll give her your name so she knows to pencil you in right away.”

You nearly squeal in excitement as you accepted her card.

“On one condition though,” she cautioned.

“Name it,” you replied instantly.

“I want you to be my point of contact,” she stated firmly.

Some analysts, like yourself, were experienced enough to talk to clients directly, answering their questions and handling minor issues so the managing directors would be free to work on bringing in more business. You did the grunt work while your bosses took all the glory. Still…protocol was protocol.

“Jessi–” you faltered, “My boss usually handles all of the client negotiations and I’m not sure if I have the authority to–”

Her expression unyielding, she waved her hand in mid-air to swat your excuses. “Then get the authority! Your boss is condescending and a complete asshole. You’re smart, ambitious, and unafraid to take risks. It’s either you or I walk away.” She shrugged.

Your cheeks warmed at her compliments. It was great to watch another woman beat the odds and succeed in the most unconventional way.

“Okay, I’ll be your point of contact,” you answered. It was too good a deal to pass up. You’d handle the consequences later.

“Good,” she grinned triumphantly.

“I’m really looking forward to our partnership, Jessi. You won’t regret it,” you said, holding your hand out. She took it and squeezed firmly.

“I don’t think I will,” she replied.

When you both exited from the ladies’ room, you found Jungkook scrolling through his phone. He spots you out of the corner of his eye and looks up to see an awestruck look on your face while you watch Jessica Nam walk out of the venue and into her waiting car at the front.

“Hey–everything okay in there?”

“Y-yeah. Uhm…I think that I just landed a deal with Jessica Nam,” you choked out in disbelief.

“That’s awesome!” He exclaimed. “Congratulations!”

“No, no–don’t congratulate me yet. Not until we’ve drawn up contracts and everything.”

“Yeah but isn’t that all just a formality?”

“I mean…I guess? Holy shit!” You breathed out, laughing.

“Nice, YN. You should savor it!” He was right. You should savor it!

******

Once you were back at the parking lot, he got out of the car and made his way around to open the passenger side. He offered his hand, which you held onto for support as you stepped out.

You unlocked your car, put your coat in the backseat and retrieved a pair of flats to switch out your stilettos.

When you were done, you leaned against the side of your car, and found that he had also shed his jacket and was now loosening his bowtie so he could undo the top button of his shirt. 

Then he pulled his cufflinks off, pocketing them before he shut the passenger door. He was rolling up his sleeves when he turned to face you, mirroring your posture against his car.

He looked much more relaxed after all that while you, on the other hand, became unreasonably all wound up. 

Crossing his arms over his chest, he asks, “Are you good?”

That zapped you back into reality. You nodded absently. “Yeah, I’m good,” you sighed.

“Sorry if things didn’t work out as you had planned,” he expressed regretfully.

“On the contrary–I think they worked out for the better,” you quipped.

He smiled broadly. “Where do you go from here?”

You lifted a shoulder. It was going to be difficult starting over again but–the great thing about it was that you had options.

“I’m taking my talents someplace else,” you say simply, alluding to Mira’s offer.

“Not that my opinion matters but I think that’ll be good for you.”

You mouthed your thanks. “So…where are you headed after this?” You ask him.

“Probably home. I was going to take another date but since we weren’t quite done, I turned it down.”

You gasped, realizing that you had gone way past your original time limit. “Oh gosh–I’m sor–”

He waved his hand, not making a big deal out of it. “It’s alright. So we went over an hour,” he shrugged noncommittally. 

Mortified, you tried to rectify your oversight. “No, no, I’d feel bad. I can add more–”

He shook his head. “That really won’t be necessary, YN. As long as you got what you needed?”

You nodded earnestly. “I did! And I can’t help thinking that I owe you in some way…not just for the extra hour but in general.”

“Nah,” he chuckled softly. “I didn’t do anything. I just stood there and watched you work. It was all you.”

“Yes, but without your prompting, I never would have realized some things. You know, since I was always focused on the ‘shoulds’ instead of the ‘coulds’,” you say, thinking back to your initial conversation. “So…thank you,” you say graciously, since you couldn’t think of any other way to express your gratitude.

“You’re welcome.” He pushed off his car, straightened out, took a step closer and stretched his hand out towards you. “I hope that you were satisfied with your experience?”

You smiled, clasping your hands with his. “I was.”

Then he turned wistful. “Does this mean that this is the last time I’m ever going to see you?��

You gave him a rueful smile. “I think so.”

He hummed, releasing you from his hold to slide his hands in his pocket and rocked back on his heels. “That’s a shame. I really liked spending time with you.”

You raised a quizzical eyebrow at him. “Do you say that to all of your clients?”

“Yes,” he replies candidly, with a little chuckle.

You laughed. “Thanks for not lying on my account.”

“That aside, I will say that you’re going to be one of my more memorable clients. And uh…If you ever want to talk or hang out and grab a drink somewhere–as friends,” he emphasized, “Just let me know.”

“I might take you up on that,” you answered in all sincerity.

You’d never met anybody like him. His lack of complication was fascinating to you. It was refreshing.

This evening, your chemistry felt so natural that you had moments where you forgot that you hired him to pretend to be in love with you. You didn’t know for certain if it was the alcohol, the boost of confidence that he gave you, or the fact that he was this unattainable fantasy–but you found yourself to be in love, too…just for tonight.

Nevertheless, beneath those big, round eyes of his was a dose of reality. It didn’t make you feel bitter thinking that you would never find someone exactly like him in the real world. He made you realize that even though you should not settle for anything less, you could still consider a compromise–one that would make you and your potential partner happy.

“I’m not forcing you to, though. The choice is always yours, as it should be,” he grinned.

You stare at him silently for a few seconds–and he stares back. As safe and assuring this look made you feel before, the longer he did it, the more intense that look got. Before you knew it, it felt as if he was undressing you on the spot.

After some hesitation, you wondered, “Can I try something?”

“Sure,” he replies.

You straightened out and moved closer to him, making his eyebrow quirk in anticipation of what you would do next. The last thing you see is him closing his eyes as you tilted your chin up to press your lips to his.

Although tentative at first, you opened your mouth slightly. Instinctively, his lips moved in perfect synchronicity with yours. You felt a tingle in the pit of your stomach when you felt his hand cup your jaw while your lips continued to explore each other’s mouths.

You finally found the strength to pull away from him, which left you breathless and slightly off-balance.

“Huh,” you say with your eyebrows raised and forehead creased.

His face falters a little at your seemingly unimpressed reaction. “Was that not good for you?” He asks slowly.

“Oh–it was good. Really good.” Your mind is buzzing, heat pooling between your legs.

You watched his tongue graze his lower lip before his right pointer finger slowly reached over to push some errant strands of hair away from your forehead. “I can show you exactly how good it could be.”

For a second, you actually considered it. He was great company and you had fun tonight…not to mention that he was also really hot.

“I can get a room for us at the hotel a couple blocks away from here.” Then, he leaned in and lowered his voice to your ear. “Off the clock.”

You had to admit, it was extremely tempting. It was all part of the service: the companionship, the fantasy, and mind-blowing sex designed to specifically please you…with no strings attached!

And why were you second-guessing this again?

But something within you thought that if you took him up on his offer, you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself. A fantasy— no matter how enticing— was still a fantasy.

“You know what?” You stepped back slightly, clearing your throat nervously, “It’s just not what I need right now. I had a really great time with you and…I think we should leave at that,” you say as respectfully as possible.

He smiled, unperturbed. “I thought it was worth a shot,” he shrugged. “You never know!”

You groaned inwardly. “Trust me…it was not an easy decision.” You clutched your keys tighter while that ache between your thighs turned excruciating. You had to be logical about this.

“Can we at least hug it out?”

You laughed softly. “Of course!” You stepped into his waiting arms and he gave you a gentle squeeze. You had a fantastic time with him and he fulfilled the task that you had hired him for. In turn, he opened your eyes to what you’ve been missing this whole time–your worth.

“Don’t be a stranger, hm?” He mumbles into your ear.

You unlocked your car and opened the door. Before sliding in, you turn to him one last time. “Thank you for…everything, really.”

“You’re welcome. And don’t forget that you’re pretty awesome, too. You just have to believe in it more.”

******

“Oh and don’t forget, you have lunch with Jessi Nam in an hour.”

You look up and acknowledge your assistant, who sat across from your new desk in your new office, at Miri Jang’s firm. After the party, you put in your two weeks and gathered your things, taking with you a couple of notable clients–one of them, Jessica Nam.

“Thanks, Kai. I can’t miss that!”

He smiled. “And Cristina in Legal just sent over the final draft of the Nam contract. It’s all worked out and ready for her signature when you bring it to the meeting.”

“Perfect!” you remarked. “That’ll be all, Kai. Thanks again.”

When he steps out, you lean back against your seat and stare out your window.

It’s been over two weeks since you last saw Jungkook. Every now and then, you’d miss him…but it was more the idea of your date. The constant physical contact, being extra-attentive, complimenting you without sounding patronizing. And even the little things like, calling you ‘jagi’ or simply leaning in closer to listen to what you have to say.

Was it nice having the perfect boyfriend for a night? Of course!

Would you ever do it again? Highly unlikely.

Then again, it’s not like you canceled your membership so…never say 'never'.

You’ve reached the end! Thank you so much for reading!

If you loved it, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it. Help me become a better writer! 💜

Tagging: @internetjunkdrawer @deepseavibez @itdoesntmatterwhy @effielumiere @yoongukie-ff @miksancheese

[thestobingirlie]

I really love your thoughts on Steve, Tommy, and Carol! What are your favorite headcanons about their friendship, and what would you love to see happen if Tommy and Carol came back for season 5?

okay!! favourite headcanons:

i mentioned this before but i love carol and steve being friends first. like, steve moved to hawkins when he was 8 (?) met carol and immediately became besties. gossiping about other classmates since ‘75 baby.

i think halloween was their favourite holiday. they’d dress in group costumes, they’d make it a competition to get the most candy, then eat as much as they could until they started feeling sick. as they got older and stopped trick or treating, they would still buy bucket loads of candy and gorge themselves on it the day after halloween (and just not go into school that day lmao. everyone assumed it was because they were hungover)

the hagan’s and the perkin’s were the first adults in hawkins to adopt little steve. people argue over hopper or the henderson’s. nope. it was tommy and carol’s parents, baby.

i like the headcanon that tommy created the term ‘king steve’, when steve broke the keg record, which is why he then named billy keg king in s2. for steve the name just kinda spread, the more popular crowd knowing it’s from keg king, and the more nerdy crowd just thinking he’s named himself king of the school or something.

i think the three of them weren’t popular in elementary school, but then in middle steve started shooting up, he’s on all the sports teams etc, and starts getting more attention from girls, and the whole thing just kinda goes from there. at first they’re all super glad about being popular, then as they start getting more and more popular, they all start to resent it in different ways. carol because she’s slutshamed, and then feels like she has to put other girls down to stay on top. steve, because he starts feeling like he has to perform a certain way, and hates the way he’s expected to act, and then tommy because everything just starts to deteriorate in their trio.

i also think the reason we’re told they’re super popular, but never actually see the three of them with a big group is because they’re just a little weird. like, everyone knows they prefer each other to everyone else, and they’re very close, and, like, share all their food and look at each other’s gross wounds and imitate each other’s sex noises to one another. so the whole school is kinda like… let’s just leave them to themselves lmao. like, they throw great parties, their gossip knowledge could destroy us, but i don’t want to hear carol and tommy recount their little tryst at the quarry lol.

and, i spoke about this in another ask, but to go into a little more detail. if i were to involve carol and tommy in s5, i’d have them at the relief centre in hawkins, they either didn’t go to college or came back for spring break or something. steve bumps into them and asks about their families, they’re with steve when some bullshit starts to happen and he has to save them in some way with his nail bat (!!!) and then they all have a little convo. tommy and carol admit how fucked up they were in high school, they have a couple little reminiscing moments. and it’s all cute!!

i’d just like to see more popular jocks not get torn about by a monster and recognise their wrongs like steve did. because even if they ended up dicks, steve was friends with them for a reason, so i don’t believe they’re all bad. and like steve, most of their worst moments only follow someone wronging them in some way. jonathan’s photos, nancy’s perceived cheating. they think they’re defending each other! in a totally fucked up way but still, i think there’s a chance for redemption.

[saqvobase]

Mesmerizer Live-Action Music Video Plan

So I guess you could say that I've been mesmerized by 32ki's Mesmerizer.

I've been infected with an idea so I must write it down before I forget or get bored of it.

I've been kicking around the idea of making a live-action version of the music video. I want it to use as many practical effects as possible and as little CGI as possible, ideally accompanied by a musical cover of the song by the actors.

Part 1: Costumes

Hatsune Miku

Luckily there are plenty of Miku wigs cosplay that can be bought.

I couldn't find an exact equivalent for the dress, but it seems like a fusion between a retro diner dress and a maid outfit. I think there's a golf visor on her head? We don't see the back of the character, but I'm pretty sure there's a big white bow. All that might need to be custom made.

The cuffs can be ordered on their own.

I didn't think that they made bow ties this big, but the color, angle and size all fit. (This goes on the visor)

For the socks, the best equivalent I found was something called 'slouch socks'

Shoes. Red with a white sole and yellow laces, and four wheels. Roller skates would be dangerous on a set. I'm tempted to just nail some painted wooden cylinders to the bottom of some Converse and treat it like platform boots.

Kasane Teto

Luckily there are plenty of Kasane Teto cosplay wigs that can be bought.

Luckily Teto's outfit is much simpler. White collar shirt under a blue pinstripe shirt with a dark gray tie and the same gold brushed nametag.

These pants are so bright, I can't believe they make them in this color. Matching red suspenders were easy to find

I found this pair of yellow cotton gloves, I think it is more likely to be this than rubber. They can be rolled up at the wrist to be more like the ones in the video. I just need to find a pair that is a more saturated yellow.

The hat is red, short, circular with a flat top, switch a small black brim. I couldn't find anything like it, perhaps another custom job.

The smily face pin on the other hand, is a dime a dozen.

Ribbed gray socks

and black loafers.

Miscellaneous

For the name tag, I found these cheap brushed gold plastic pins. It could be cool to etch their names on it.

For the starry-eyed parts, I found these contact lenses. The reviews say that you can still see through them pretty well so that's good. I couldn't find any that were 4 pointed stars.

For the mesmerized parts, I found some contact lenses that totally black out the eye, they are over $100 for a set though.

Part 2: Set

The non-moving backgrounds such as the stripes or water drops can be done traditionally.

The clouds and hills are another story though.

My idea of how to do is is a series of belts with the image on them controlled by a spinning rotor. The song will be recorded in studio, so the sound of the rotors wont affect the video.

Part 3: Effects

In-Camera Effects

A colored frame like this can be placed between the camera and the set. This frame can be moved back and forth as needed.

for the parts when the frames cross, the frame can be folded like this. At the point of crossing cut the footage. Swap the backgrounds, and resume filming.

The center spinner could be threaded through a hole in this frame, with a small gear system for perpendicular rotational transfer.

Special Effects

The confetti can be spread from above, either by a machine or a helper. The curtain of confetti should be after the colored frame, but before the set so that the actors don't get covered.

Conclusion

Finally, the brainworm has left my brain, and transferred to a written medium. I have no idea how much any of this would cost, but I estimate it is below $10,000.

If you have any questions or suggestions let me know!!!!!

[hello-nichya-here]

What are your thoughts on MJ's daughter supporting Israel and trying to distance herself from her dad? Girl won't even defend him

Jesus fucking Christ, are you guys coordinating these asks? This is the third time one of you asked me it, I'm legit impressed.

Let's get the easy, and horrible part out of the way first: nobody on the fucking planet has any excuse to support Israel. You can hate Hamas and the goverments of countries like Iran without excusing the literal genocide of civilians in Palestine, because yes, that's what Israel is doing right now.

Paris Jackson (and everyone else, famous or not, that is still pretending Israel isn't commiting all kinds of crimes against humanity right now) should have known better and needs to get her shit together.

Now, onto the messy part:

Although Paris has recently said "it's not her role/place" to defend her dad, lets not forget the other things she said on that same controversial statement:

1 - She fully believes her father is innocent and called the "documentary" Leaving Neverland pure lies.

2 - She believes that everything that could be said about her father's innocence has been said already and she'd have nothing new to add to the conversation.

3 - Her cousin Taj has become basically the leader of the family's campain to clear Michael's name and has been doing an amazing job.

4 - She's not as patient as her father was to deal with that kind of stuff and she has been focusing more on trying to recover from her mental health issues.

That last one is important, specially when we remember that Paris has claimed to have been sexually abused in school (which left her with PTSD), and that she has struggled with addiction, paranoia and a freaking suicide attempt.

It would not be surprising to me if having to listen to allegations of childhood sexual abuse is extremelly triggering for her - especially since the person being accused of being the abuser is her late father, who was murdered by his doctor when she was just 10-years-old, and she was treated like a stupid child in denial everytime she tried to point out the things being said about him were not true.

Considering she has continued to praise her father over the years, both with small things like posting a family picture on Father's day this year and big things like saying he was a super accepting man that was totally cool with her not being straight, and DID defend him publically every now and then, like, once again, calling "Leaving Neverland" pure lies when it came out, I'd say she's not really trying to distance herself from her dad or imply she's starting to think he might have been guilty. I think she just genuinely cannot fucking stand having to act as his lawyer only to have every word she says ignored, no matter how much evidence she offers to back it up.

(And before anyone brings up the fact that Taj was also a victim of sexual abuse in his childhood and has is still speaking out in support of his uncle, including of how he helped him deal with his trauma, keep in mind that people cope differently and heal at different paces).

Do I think she could have phrased some things better? Yes.

If either of my parents were accused of something horrible and a bunch of people kept insisting they were guilty despite all evidence poiting to the contrary, would I interact with said celebrities? No, and it is extremelly disappointing whenever Paris does that...

... But then again, Michael was at war with his record label, Sony, for years and was convinced they were not only sabotaging his career but also trying to murder him, yet he still was ready to go on a final tour that was going to make them A LOT of money. Like father, like daughter.

Honestly, I would not blame the entire Jackson family if they just made one last big documentary to try and clear Michael's name, then, regardless of how it was taken, packed all their shit and moved to a remote island, far away from the spotlight and never spoke to any journalist or had any social media presence again. They've been getting screwed over and surrounded by awful people in the industry, the media, and amongst other celebrities since the goddamn sixties, it's a miracle anyone of them is still trying to "play the game" or explain themselves.

[youllallriseintheink]

Sammy being joeys assistant headcanons?

Alright! Since we've already had asks about Sammy helping Joey with eldritch magic specifically, I'm going to try and make this one more canon-compliant. Here we go!

-Sammy had long struggled to retain employment before Joey Drew Studios thanks to his attitude and angry outbursts. Joey tried to make Sammy feel like he understood him and would give him the recognition that no one else would. As a result, Sammy was ready to do anything to keep his position, even things he wasn't totally comfortable with. Be Joey's personal assistant for job security and a big pay raise? Well, who was he to say no?

-Sammy's assistant duties were essentially whatever Joey decided he needed in the moment. Joey needs someone to stay late so he can bounce ideas off of him? Someone to do his grocery shopping because he has other things to do? Cover someone's shift to make deadlines? Just some companionship? Sammy was the first person he asked.

-One of Sammy's assistant duties was spying on anyone Joey was paranoid of, especially GENT. Sammy recorded a lot of information about how GENT were creating life and whatnot, but Joey didn't care about the how, only that life was being created. Sammy learned fairly quickly to keep his concerns about GENT to himself, as they would only fall on deaf ears. He also pried for information on some other employees that Joey was paranoid of, such as Dot and Norman, on Joey's orders. Joey's paranoia caused some loud, dramatic fights between the two of them.

-One positive to being Joey's assistant: Joey caught on to Sammy's ink illness and managed to get Sammy treated. Sammy still has delusions and hallucinations at times and was left with limited stamina and immune system, but Joey was able to keep Sammy's illness from getting worse and destroying his body and sanity. It's become another point of "only I can understand you and put up with you."

-After the studio shut down, Joey was desperate to keep any trace of the old studio near. That included Sammy. By now, Sammy had disabilities from ink and truly did believe that no one else was likely to put up with him, so he followed Joey to other ventures. Joey's TV show included music written by Sammy, and the crew knew to come to Sammy when Joey was going through his hallucinations. By this point, they were living together and attached at the hip. Thankfully, however, Sammy never put on the glasses as both of them were afraid of what it might do considering Sammy's pre-existing conditions.

-While Joey never hurt Sammy while hallucinating, it was still terrifying for Sammy. Eventually, Sammy left while Joey was having an episode and went to his family to try and sort his life out. It had all just become too frightening for him to stay, no matter what leaving might mean for his life.

[reallyrandomtj]

Gepard - Character Analysis

Mun Note: This is NOT an analysis of 'canon' Gepard. THIS post is practically a public record on how I intend to portray him as a muse! I do not assume everyone will agree nor will I put pressure on any mun who has Gepard as a muse; that is just not who I am.

Gepard can SING ( he is still terrible at art-- ) but has chosen to focus on his duties as the Captain of the Silvermane Guards instead and that mindset hasn't changed ever since. If asked about his singing capabilities he will likely try redirect the conversation elsewhere-- HOWEVER! If you have 'caught him in the act' of singing to himself, or with his sister Serval, Gepard will apologize and label his vocal prowess as unrefined/incomplete in comparison to Servals.

TJ: Two examples of how I see Gepard and Serval singing privately together. First: Tries to focus on Gepard, Serval whistle note?? Second: When Gepard goes all out-- tell no one!

In regards to Sampo Koski, Gepard does NOT hate him! He simply treats Sampo like any other trouble maker and tries to move on after an arrest-- if or when they manage it. Which leads into my next point!

Gepard doesn't enjoy arresting people - natives to Jarilo VI or visitors from the outside world? Doesn't matter! The Captain would rather fight monsters ( to protect those within Belobog; both Overworld and Underworld ) than deal with domestic disputes or criminals. With that being said, Gepard does NOT neglect his duties he simply 'sucks it up' and does his job to the best of his ability no matter how awkward or embarrassing things get for him.

He prides himself in being Ambidextrous but doesn't make a big deal about it and very few people know - mainly his siblings and a select few 'close friends' within the Silvermane Guards are aware - which Gepard does use to his advantage!

Example: A monster has him pinned by his 'dominant' arm? Gepard counters with the opposite! His dominant leg is injured? Gepard leans on his weapon and kicks with the opposite leg!

Going into more detail about this almost mastered ability! Gepard's main dominance side in combat is believed to be his right arm and left leg. Everywhere else? Left arm and right leg. However, he can write, fight, perform duties with both/the opposite if and when necessary!

Another thing Gepard has a lot of pride in-- besides his siblings...? The Silvermane Guards! Doesn't matter what rank or experience they have ALL are equally important to him. THIS response is a very small glimpse into how he handles hearing his comrades are injured. IF HE IS ABLE ( without risking someone else's safety - like facing monsters with other Silvermane Guards ) Gepard will NOT hesitate to visit the injured and check up on them.

Lastly, he does not have a favorite sibling ( anyone who asks him to pick one will receive an intense glare/look of 'how dare you' at the source without much thought in the moment ) HOWEVER it is undeniable of how strong his bond with Serval is. Gepard had requested his weapon to be in the shape of a guitar case - Serval went one step further and reinforced one of her own for him - as on the battlefield it is a constant reminder of what he is fighting for and it gives him strength when enemies may think he had none!

Even when Gepard and Serval aren't on speaking terms it - his weapon - is still used as a pillar of strength and a means to protect those he cares about or innocent people caught in the crossfire, in need of help/rescue. Many 'close friends' within the Silvermane guards have joked that his sister, Serval, was always with them on the battlefield which always flusters him - they aren't wrong but it didn't need to be broadcasted to everyone within earshot!

Final 'Mun' Note: This got longer than expected but brain go brr No doubt I will be writing more headcanons for Gepard. I am totally normal about Gepard-- *YEETS AT DASH AND RUNS*

[genericpuff]

To be fair, a country can have more than one head of state. Political systems aren't as consistent as we might think them to be and even absolute monarchies like Spain have a prime minister. Then you have things like elective monarchies and hereditary republics. From what I remember, the idea of an election isn't even really treated as that big of a deal... but that right there is the problem. The first and I think only time it actually gets brought up is when it's introduced for a single panel, and even then, it's only in relation to Persephone's trauma. No one really comments on it afterwards. Even in Apollo's own episode, he very briefly comments how he could do a lot as king—not president, but king! Ergo, overthrowing Zeus. So either the whole president thing was a dropped plot point or Rachel couldn't think of any other reason for Apollo to be on a giant poster.

Regarding Eros' comment, Apollo is the god of medicine and the literal god of doctors is his son. Even if Asclepius himself doesn't have a bad record, he'd have reason to be wary. It's why I don't blame Hebe for automatically believing Apollo that nothing can be done about the poison after he simply touches Zeus, given what one of his domains is.

And speaking of Hebe, again, to be fair, a lot of people don't notice their surroundings when they're grieving and her back was clearly turned anyway, so I don't think this should necessarily be a strike against her. I honestly didn't find anything off about Apollo gaslighting her either (I mean, besides the obvious; gaslighting is horrendous) and he'd also just threatened her, so I don't blame her for running away either. Plus, the episode just ends with her noticing the snow soon after, so it's not like we get her thoughts on this one way or another. I don't have fastpass, though, so does it show her actually believing she'd somehow poisoned Zeus in a future chapter, or...?

Hebe poisoning Zeus also wouldn't necessarily be outside the realm of possibility either if Apollo were to argue she did it for Hera's sake or something and then she just snapped. That said, it is still ridiculous she's the first deity he would frame, rather than someone alot more believable, like Ares. Didn't Zeus sleep with Aphrodite that one time? And we know how protective he is of Hera. Or hell, if he wanted to topple the current monarchy entirely, he could've just framed Hera herself! Maybe even Hades!

And if this were any other comic, I'd say Apollo returning to the scene of the crime and then calling the media is just him being a narcissist, because some narcissists can be really, really dumb. But the chances of it being framed that way are practically at the bottom of the Aegean Sea. Even a single panel of someone asking why Apollo called a journalist first is doubtful.

But yeah, not trying to slam you or anything and sorry if it comes off that way. I really like your analyses and I love Rekindled, I'm just trying to offer a few explanations here. I do agree with you overall, though! Rachel has alot of great ideas, but the executions of said ideas are just terrible.

Okay so, while I really appreciate the amount of effort you put into defending these points and I can totally get the points you're trying to make in many of them (and yes this is the part where I respond with my own points, as we do) I think the fact that you presented all of these "well to be fair" talking points is just highlighting and further proving LO's biggest problems in its writing, one that I've talked about before on here but I think bears repeating.

And that's the fact that we (the readers) have to make massive assumptions just to make the plot make sense.

Yes, to be fair, there are government systems that run with a dual-system of monarchy + diplomatic government, but there was never any implication of this being a thing in LO until all of a sudden Rachel dropped the "Apollo for President!" plotline in S3.

Yes, to be fair, Apollo is the god of medicine, but we've never seen him actually fulfill a single duty regarding that, Asclepius is far more qualified as an actual doctor than Apollo (*from what we've been shown), who we've only ever seen apply a bandaid to Persephone's hand five years ago.

Yes, to be fair, people in shock may not take in their surroundings fully, but it seems really silly to have Hebe positioned in front of a window that has a FULL VIEW of what's going on outside and still have her just freeze in time when she's offscreen so she doesn't see or hear anything that's going on just several feet away through a sheet of glass. Just get rid of the window and find another way to force Eros and Psyche into confrontation with Apollo.

Yes, to be fair, Hebe could have a motive, if she were written as someone with some vendetta against Zeus. But she wasn't. That version of Hebe does not exist and, as you said yourself, there are way more gods who would have reasonable motive to poison him. We've only ever seen her dote on him and love him unconditionally as her father, and we've even seen scenes of them in S1 where they have a functional father-daughter relationship (if anything I'd be more inclined to believe she'd have a vendetta against Hera for being an alcoholic mom during her childhood but I digress).

Through all of these "to be fair's" when do we actually stop and ask ourselves why we have to constantly have the benefit of the doubt and jump through all these logical hoops to make sense of the plot to begin with? Again, all this just lends to how poorly structured and written the comic is, and all of these 'to be fair''s you've presented cannot reasonably apply to LO because LO never wrote those things. They never showed Apollo being an actual god of medicine, they never showed Hebe having ill will towards her father, and they never showed Olympus running with a monarchy + presidential government system. So to fill in those blanks ourselves is to do the legwork for Rachel who's only managed to write half a plot. It's why it's so jarring for random plot points like this to happen because it's just like "wtf do you mean Apollo is running for president? He can just do that??" That's not something that should be established five years in, it makes it really hard to just give benefit of the doubt because if that was something that actually existed in this world, it should have been established ages ago when the foundation for the story was still being built. We're in the endgame now, this is NOT the time to be throwing in new random plot threads pulled out of thin air.

This is what I mean from my essay post earlier that Rachel constantly fails to provide context for things she's trying to say, while overexplaining things that are already being shown onscreen. It's completely imbalanced between what we have to know and what could have stayed on the cutting room floor, and it makes for a messy story where people have to make gracious assumptions and do all the thinking for a plot that was never fleshed out to begin with. Why should we as readers have to do all the thinking for Rachel's lack of storytelling ability, when she clearly couldn't be bothered to put any thought into the narrative or the worldbuilding or the characterizations to begin with? It's lazy low-effort writing.

[antoncore]

yeah… i don’t like the heat either, ur right it’s difficult to enjoy things and i am very sensitive to temperature sometimes and have a hard time adjusting so i swear SO much and i just feel gross all the time :(

no pressure to respond with anything really, i’m just rambling but if riize were billionaires living in LA… i totally see someone like eunseok as a property developer.. or sungchan as the CEO of something or other… and i was trying to think about anton and maybe like a big time producer of some kind? like he has his own record label.. there was smth else i was thinking of too but now i’ve forgotten.

thinking of billionaire anton not being as well known for always having girls on his arm… women want him, for sure, but he’s been working on his business mainly, but the he meets you<33 idk

and on a soft note like, anton buying you expensive things, a new dress for every occasion, a new bag just because he loves you<33 taking you to all sorts of events with him because he wants everyone to see how beautiful you are and know how much he adores you<3 and maybe you’ve never really had aspirations before but he’s supportive of getting you started with whatever your heart desires to try! or, you’ve been working hard on your degree but with his support (emotionally and money ofc) you’re able to finally pursue what you’ve been wanting to do!

when he finally proposes to you he’d buy you the biggest ring🤭🤭 it’s so perfect and shiny and you’d have so many people fawning and gaggling and being so jealous of u… you’d have to stay off ur phone a bit to ignore the tabloids talking smack about u and entertaining rumours but it’s fine, you could even have a private getaway to some beach house or cottage with your fiancé in the meantime

and idk on a more nsfw note, people would always be asking (think i got this from another anon but) how you make it fit? anton is sooo big, they just couldn’t imagine😅😅🤧 anton buying you sexy lingerie outfits to wear and wait for him to get home, telling you not to be impatient and touch yourself before he gets there or he won’t be touching you at all��� if you do, he makes you finish yourself off while he watches, or makes you ride his thigh and keeps his hands on the bed, just watching you struggle to pleasure yourself

he’d buy you a hi tech panty vibe to wear when you go run errands or when you go out to dinner together, enjoying the way you squirm and shift in your seat, telling you to enjoy your food, don’t be snobby… but you’re sweating and your vision is blurring because you can feel your orgasm approaching fast but it’s at that point that he shuts the toy off completely, your knees bumping against the table making all the plates jump and biting back the groan that threatens to erupt from your throat

i don’t see anton as being that mean all the time but if he knows you like it and want that sometimes, he’d be more than happy to oblige.. he just wants to give you everything you want, even if that means treating you like a filthy slut

- 🧸 anon

i see your visions with the jobs you assigned!!! i see sungchan being a ceo of some tech/healthcare company while eunseok is the city’s most famous property developer.

anton rlly would spoil you, he just wants to shout out that he loves you from the top of his lungs. he would be so supportive no matter what!!! i can envision if you wanted to start up a business (like a cute little coffee shop) he’d help you through each step like looking for the space, planning the interior design, marketing etc. and it would be so successful that you were able to open a couple more branches and he’d be so proud of you!!

and i can so see having a private getaway with after he proposed, he wanted an excuse to get away from all the people talking and he also wanted to spoil you. he’d take you to a luxury resort where you could just relax and be in each other’s presence (and fuck in the hotel room…and the pool…and the hot tub)

speaking of lingerie i rlly believe anton is a fan of white/pastel, i think i’ve discussed this a couple times on here ISNSNSB and imagine if he came home to you using the new wand he got you. he’d just make you continue as he sat on a chair, not really saying much to ensure that you were entirely responsible for your own pleasure :( when you finally decided to give up/when you came, he’d give you a kiss on the forehead and call you his good girl.

and omg he’d be so evil using the panties on you, he loved watching you squirm like a cute little slut :( you’re struggling to even eat or move around and it’s just funny for him to watch you being so pathetic for him!!!

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

Farrah Franklin

Farrell Franklin was the one member of Destiny’s Child. That was just a overnight sensation. Let’s say., so after LaTavia and Latoya of DC got booted out by Matthew and the rest, for not being let’s say professional even though that it’s not, it was Beyoncé and Kelly versus them too. They were going out with two members of a boy group and they were standing up for themselves at the time and even Latoya auntie or grandmother I can’t remember was there mental on the road, these girls have known each other since girlhood, and it been such a long time, but it became a big joke Destiny’s Child after all because of the constant change of lineup, back in the day when it was 4 members, It was only really Beyoncé then Kelly that sang lead on their 2W album Destiny’s Child and the writings on the wall, they had many classics back from” say my name”, jumping jumping”” bills, bills bills”, bugaboo”,” no no no part one and two”.

This was really that day, but many years later when it became a free piece, they managed to redeem themselves, it was still though however, like I said in the previous post with the Supremes and Diana Ross and Florence ballad, Beyoncé was obviously treated differently because she was Matthew’s daughter, and originally they wanted Solange to be in destiny to the other daughter, she was more wanting to pursue a solo career she would however sometimes due backing for dancing, so Latoya and LaTavia left the group for their mutual differences to Beyoncé and Kelly and their loathing of Matthew.

They recruited new members Michelle Williams a gospel singer , and Farah Franklin who let’s face it we’re not really sure where she came from. Matthew worked in the record industry for many years and he left his job in quite a good place to pursue the career of being their manager and getting them gigs and he saw how differently black artist were treated to the white ones , he was all brought up in a time where his mother didn’t want him to get with a black woman , so he got with Tina who is creol but very light skinned , so it was a long-standing rumour that the other girls tanned and they made Beyoncé wear some factor of a very high degree so she always was the lightest in the group which I totally believe knowing Matthew’s background , one person who would always talk about destiny child health they were treated differently and would even say it to Beyoncé over the phone was , she would even call the group and Beyoncé, Beyoncé and the girls the girls. So when Matthew wasn’t professional or laugh and being there for a good career and wasn’t doing the right things., she hit back and said that this wasn’t true. Why would she do that? If she was the best group of all time? She said they wasn’t true?, Somebody’s not allowed to be a group. I don’t know where that comes from because Latvia talks about this when she was really ill and she wasn’t even allowed to stay in the hospital., and known to be in his circle as the Joe Jackson of destiny child the way he treated them the way he expected professionalism all the time and he instilled that which I guess his work because Beyoncé even stands a test of time now although she stepped away from her father and because he was not being doing the right thing and they all got rid of him as her manager in the end it was just Beyoncé who did it last cause he was her father and then he got one of Solange’s friends pregnant he lost his mind a bit but with drugs and.

So when Farah went on the Wendy Williams experience, she said how this was all rubbish of why she got sacked and how Matthew actually tried it on with her and asked to meet her in her hotel room. She really believes that he fancied her and wanted to have sex with her, which I can totally believe, he was with these girls. It just makes so much sense to me and she talks. Also when he goes to Farah how come they are you up because you’re so much prettier than Beyoncé and let’s face it she’s got beautiful green eyes and lovely black hair, ugly you are they gave you red hair and made you not wear the best clothes like Beyoncé what they were trying to do make her look like and make Michelle look like Latoya, was really silly really, there’s clips online of not being very nice to Farah maybe jealousy I don’t, but she’s told to go to the airport and they’re like we can send your luggage on and she’s not what I meant today if you send my luggage on Beyoncé was annoyed by her a lot, he saw it in interviews all the time how she would pull faces when every time Farrow would talk, and then when she left, she said that we can all sing lead now because we all can sing lead, the power definitely went ahead because she was told that she was the one, I will always love Tina‘s creations, but she definitely made Farah look worse, and outfits.

[tame-a-messenger]

so i have a question, in what ways do you think the social team sucks? (I agree btw, it always feel like they try to connect with fandom but just can't, like instead of posting the things that would excited their audience, the fandom spaces they post what excites them if that makes sense? and what's exciting for them it's not what we are really interested in)

(also don't know if you know watcher but their social media team is the best out of the youtubers world in my opinion. they actually hired a person that was a big fan of their content, that was part of these spaces already. and she always nails what we want to see. she also really aknowledge tumblr and knows how popular they are here. I feel like a lot of the others socials teams tend to forget about here when it can be such a huge asset)

I always try to give the benefit of the doubt to people, while also playing devils advocate. I feel it makes for a more sound opinion on things. Having grace for others is ALWAYS a good thing.

I fully agree with what you said! you put it so perfectly!

"like they try to connect with fandom but just can't"

It feels like this too me too, especially as of recent. They ALWAYS push the jokes they (the people on set/work at Smosh) find funny. Which isn't a bad thing! there should be space for people to find what they find funny and push for it.

It just becomes an issue when they try to sell merch for things the community doesn't even know about/care about as deeply. (lmk if I'm wrong, but when the "you're my favorite pizza place" joke became a 'thing' the video hadn't even come out yet? I remember having no clue what anyone was talking about, I think the videos come out out of order? and all the sudden we had merch?)

I do like a lot of Smosh merch though! but there's just so much wasted potential of other things that would sell better.

A lot of Smosh fans are I believe Gen Z(?) but I feel like they try to make content for millennials/Gen A so we get a lot of floundering between demographics. I'm also very aware most of the cast/crew at Smosh is more in the millennial demo, which could be a large reason why we get more of that geared content.

Maybe at the end of the day they can't connect on purpose, maybe because they don't want to get into any drama/legal trouble they stay away from interacting with the community too much?

Getting away from those thoughts- they also have a HORRIBLE track record with letting us know about delays, just look at what they did with Sword AF S2. They totally dropped the ball. I'm still very upset about it. I really can't find a reason why they couldn't let us know sooner than DAY OF.

You'd think with them being so proud with their 'scheduling' (which I also HATE.) they would have dealt with these things better.

I've talked before about how I don't really like how much they do on 'shoot weeks'. It drains them loads and seems really hard to stay upbeat, and it WILL wear them down. (I'm wondering if that's why we haven't gotten Damien in too many videos as of recent. He doesn't want to do the shitty ass schedule)

At the end of it all, Anthony and Ian have all the say in what happens at Smosh so I'll just trust they will continue to do what they think is best <3 (even if I hate it) (their livelihood not mine y'know?)

"they actually hired a person that was a big fan of their content, that was part of these spaces already."

THIS^ (I do believe they have a lot of Smosh fans working there rn though) NOBODY DOES A JOB LIKE THIS BETTER THAN A PERSON OBSESSED... NOBODY!

I don't watch a lot of Watcher content but every now and again I'll check in and watch some of their stuff, they're a great lot!

I DIDN'T KNOW THEY HIRED A FAN!! THATS SO AWESOME!! They really know what they're doing! Whos gonna push content better than someone who full-heartedly enjoys it like a fan! (That's were I see the Smosh team falter a lot. It feels like they treat it like they're apart of the team to much? like they obviously ARE but I feel like if you want the job done the best you have to look at it with a fans eyes to know what would be the best content to push y'know?)

[captainmvf]

I saw you were taking asks? I have a few questions I'd love to hear your answers.

What is your favorite side ark in the fossil fighters games?

Favorite characters/character dynamics?

Not a question, but I would love to hear about your personal headcannons about characters and such.

Have you ever thought about Dinaurian lore?

I'd love to hear all your thoughts on this, it's so rare that anyone has anything to say about the games. If you don't answer all (or any of them) that's totally fine! ^^

Hiya!! This got a bit long so here's the cut-off:

Favorite side ark in the fossil fighters games?

Oh gosh it's hard to decide because two certain arks are my favorite: The Nick Nack ark in the original and the Princess Pooch ark in Champions.

I feel like they mix in just the right amount of zany with plot progression to feel both fun and important errands! Princess Pooch's helps with unlocking the Miraculous Fossils and keeps the weird lore of dogs being intelligent enough to Fossil Battle from the first game and Nick Nack's even ties in Dr. Diggin's lost sandals. Nick Nack also has one of the most memorable themes lol.

Favorite characters/character dynamics?

Dynamic-wise: Hands down, the BB Brigade in Champions. They play off of each other so well and (even though I think their writing with Don/Joe is flawed) I wish we could have seen them more with Joe after the main story!!! The Patrol Team even has a great dynamic that is very fleshed out by the end of the game. I'm even enjoying Becky and Sean's sibling relationship in Frontier at the moment. Also, I like Dynal's dynamics/interactions with EVERYONE in the original. The guy clearly brings a presence that makes you want to pick at him, especially with Dr. Diggins, Raptin, and Duna.

Characters: OBVIOUSLY Joe Wildwest!!!!!!! Other favorites include Duna, the BB Brigade, Patrol Team, Drake, Violet, and Sean and Becky are growing on me.

Headcannons?

TONS!!!! Oh god UUHHHHH WHERE TO BEGIN-

Stella is takes her job the most seriously but she also wouldn't she she's married to her job of being a Staff Leader. Joe can trust her with almost anything in the park. She's also a lesbian.

Terry and Kent are not as professional as Stella but they still take their job seriously. Terry tends to be more aloof while Kent would rather snowboard. They are Bi but don't really seem interested in dating as they are currently in positions that make it hard to date.

Dr. Diggins was probably really scared to see Dynal again after the Guhnash battle because Dynal is going to learn one way or another that he stole the Dinurian tech from that crashed ship. Dynal eventually is told the truth by him and just goes 'okay' since it's not much of a big deal anymore.

I have this very specific headcannon that curators and just fossil fighters in general who work in museums have to have an impressive cleaning record. The cleaning side quests in the first game and the Hare Club stuff in Champions helped fuel this.

Dino and Dina are fraternal twins! Dino even is Autistic and Dina has ADHD.

Vivosaur battles are really taught in school unlike much other monster collecting and battling games and other RPGs but rather it's treated much like a sport with scientific and historical roles as well. I much tend to think that Hunter and Rosie and other kids on Vivosaur Island are there since it's summer break. The Patrol Team each have their own reasons for getting to be at Caliosteo: Dina and Dino are home-schooled, Todd was able to tag along since he became friends with them for being home-schooled as well, Pauleen probably doesn't get public school and obviously ran off to join the tournament, and Rupert gets his schedule managed by someone else but he probably goes to a tight private school that's flexible with their students being absent for periods of time.

Frontier does make it canon that everything takes place on an Earth similar to our own with the same countries but I chose to believe France doesn't exist. That's Nomadistand now. They're separated far from other countries? Well I guess they have some wide rivers now for borders.

Vivosaurs can be kept as pets but there are many laws and risks that come with it. Smaller vivosaurs are easier to tame but larger ones are more challenging. They're treated much the same as exotic pets: Yeah, it's nice to own one, but it's not very safe.

Nevada and Joe have a rivalry going on that doesn't make much sense to everyone else but it does keep journalists busy whenever a fossil tourney is announced. Sean also ties into this but he's more of the mediator who was invited to eat pizza and watch a documentary with friends not sit awkwardly on the couch and watch as his two friends throw pillows at one another to try and counter-argument each other about the topics of the documentary.

Duna barely remembers much of her home planet but Raptin, being older, does. This is possibly why he was more enraged by Duna's betrayal.

I think Joe and Rupert should get therapy animals/vivosaurs after Champions to help with the body-stealing trauma. As a treat. Rupert should get a fluffy white great pyrenees dog named Antionette and Joe should get a nine-banded armadillo named Sundance.

Rosie gets really into fossil battles to the point she goes pro and that's why she's at Caliosteo. She eventually finds out she'd Bi and dates Duna in the future (Duna finds herself identifying as a lesbian).

^The whole romance thing was kind of just brought on due to the amount of thrilling moments with Hunter so both Rosie and Duna kind of fall out of romantic love with him but still have a tight bond that borders on family.

Hunter also eventually goes pro with fossil battling but prefers to travel more. Rosie and Duna eventually get a quiet house on Vivosaur Island together and Hunter also lives there when he's not traveling. :)

I think Holt and Todd should meet up and be friends. :)

Pauleen would get really into fashion design when she's older. She's mostly inspired by fire type vivosaurs.

Rupert takes over his dad's company and even learns to ride a motorcycle.

Todd gets into rogue vivosaur wrangling since he finally found his courage during the events of Champions. :)

Dina takes over the park and Todd is her secretary.

Dino gets to go pro at fossil battles since he was better at making strategies and vivosaur teams (Dina's top strategy is 'hit everything with sharp claws and teeth really fast') and he gets a lot of trophies. He also gets to be Rupert's boyfriend/partner. :)

Cole gets to go back to school and gets back into his robotic engineering degree (he failed to earn all of his credits the first time around and just decided to drop out since he didn't like his professors anyway). He eventually finds work at FossilDig and Caliosteo making cleaning devices. Sometimes, when he's mad, he threatens to make Five Nights at Freddy's real.

Lola has a harder time deciding to go back to school since she failed her medical science classes. It takes some encouragement and inspiration from Cole and Lester to help her along.

Lester tries to follow his dream of being a musician again and gets to form his own rock band! They call themselves the 'B-0NES' in tribute to the BB Brigade.

Joe Wildwest is gay. :)

Zongazonga's corpse is stuck in eternity as a tourist attraction.

If you want more I leak headcannon stuff onto this workplace parody account on here that's also a bit RP-ish: @realjoewildwest

Have you ever thought about Dinaurian lore?

Actually I have!! I've seen some headcannons floating on here with Dinurians messing with Guhnash's origins. I also think that they also traded with other aliens before they came to Earth since running a huge ship does take a certain amount of supplies to manage. Unsurprisingly, I choose to also believe that nearly every Dinurian can have a battle hologram.

I also think that white-hair can also be a sign of aging but those with white hair and pale skin are usually linked in some way to the royal bloodline that is King Dynal's. It's only Dynal who carries on the royal bloodline these days, however.

When I say 'big space ship' I mean big enough that the Dinurians have a safe gene pool for repopulation methods. It was probably initially made for the purpose of escaping their home planet months in advance since their methods of destroying Guhnash kept failing.