#for the next few days tho it’s Late Night Brainstorm time

[mars-ipan]

my notes for this animatic r gonna be insane

[merumely]

This is their second encounter and it's be a couple of month after their first meeting. It was sometime past dusk and and after a day of work and it was finally time to clock out and go home. The night was pleasent despite being somewhat cloudy and there were still people on the streets. Lilah walked to the nearest bus stop with phone in hand talking with a relative. She walked into a part of the city where there were slightly less people on around but kept going her way until a little further on, a familiar red mass caught her eye from the other side of the street, it was the Sir from last time! Same hat and coat. Promising to call later to who sh was speaking to she made her to say hello to the man in red who had his back at her. He became aware of her presence by her loud "Hi!" being shouted at him, gazing to the source to see the same lady he met a few months ago

He acknowledged her with a court nod and Lilah barrage him with questions of "how have you been?", "are you doing well?" and "where'd you disappear off all of a sudden that night"?. She noticed him not taking his sight off the abandoned building in front of them. Gazing at the posters and sign, she saw it was a worn down movie store that he was looking at and almost dejectedly at that. With a little bit of asking and small talk, he made it known it was one of the places he frequented occasionally years ago. The little abandoned shop was a favorite spot for him to drop by every now and then. After some moments of silence between the two the man turned and began leaving, however Lilah stopped him before he was out of sight, telling him he can still find movies online tho he madevit known he didn't use the internet that often (ngl, he doesn't at all). It took a bit of brainstorming for her to remember movie rental machines still are around tho not that common anymore. Proposing to take him to the nearest one if he wanted to. The red man didn't seem to give indication he was interested but he eventually nodded and let her lead the way. Lilah honestly didn't know where was one of those machines but thanks to online maps, they were able to find one quite a few streets away from where they where initially outside a farmacy. On their way there, there's a few things she noted from the man, he's a fan of movies, he's not that much of a talker and there's a faint smell of iron around him. But the second one became to slightly improve and he began talking slightly more than at first, so progress! After quite some time of walking they finally made it to their destination.

Lilah was ecstatic to have found it and the male looked quite curious at the green bright box before him. He asked incredulous if this contraption sold movies. She corrected with "rents out" movies and you have to return them the next day. Tho not keen to having to return again to return a movie, he gave it agreed just for once and approached the machine and just stood there looking at the board with movie selections. After some browsing he turned to her asking what would she recommend as he didn't recognize any of the films but some looked intriguing and after explaining a bit of some of the films he ended up selecting three.

Lilah had to tutor him to use the machine as he looked confused with the touch screen and different options to press on. And after finally finishing, Lilah realized how late it had gotten and had probably missed the bus and opted to call a cab. The man had decided to stay with with her chatting while the ride. After while of chitchat the cab finally arrived they waved goodbye and went their separate ways. It was an entertaining night and little did she know she'd see the tall, red man again, soon. When she arrives at her residence, does she realize she forgot to ask for his name and feels like kicking herself for that 😆

[wiinterrose]

          ( xavier serrano , male , he/him, 23 ) omg ! i was walking yonge street downtown , and you’ll never guess who i saw . 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐋 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒 ! i just saw a post about them on sixsecrets ! i think it said something like “ 𝐌𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐘 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄 𝐀𝐓 𝟓 𝐀𝐌 : 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐄𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 ?” . isn’t that wild ? i guess it makes sense through , since they’re apparently 𝐃𝐔𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐒 and 𝐂𝐔𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 . but i’ve heard they’re also 𝐎𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂 and 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐂 ! i’ll just stick to giving them the benefit of the doubt . i mean , it’s not like i know them personally — they’re a famous 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑 / 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐁𝐄𝐑 ! you know , i’ve actually heard rumors that ██████████████████, but they’re just rumors … i think . i dunno . if you happen to run into them , tell them i’m their biggest fan ! ( ollie , they / them , 21 , est )

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

— mikey was born and raised in winnipeg because i think it’s funny when characters are from winnipeg. if you’re from winnipeg i’m so sorry. definitely was born on the coldest day of that year ( so like some point in january )

— but because of those long, cold harsh winters, mikey found himself in a dance studio a lot. his aunt was a dance teacher and with rather absent parents who meant well but both had long hours at the local hospital, he spent a lot of time with her. he fell in love with dance pretty early on, always having a certain fluidity and grace even when he was young.

— random but he also played hockey up until he was like 16 or whatever because he’s canadian and i’m not stupid. it happened. he can still skate tho. in a slightly different life he probably would have been a pretty good figure skater huh 🤔🤔🤔 but anyway...

— also feel like it makes sense that he did gymnastics. and trained in classical ballet.

— he went to university of toronto for college, studying kinesology and dance, and danced at one of the prestigious studios in the city.

— his big break moment was when in his sophomore year at ut, he made it onto the second season of world of dance in early 2017 ( lets pretend that show has been on longer than it has bc i don’t want it to be the first season of it sldk ). he made it all the way to the finals and quickly become a fan favorite along the way. though he ultimately placed second and missed out on the million dollars, that was the beginning of many doors opening for him. ( for those who, might have the vaguest clue what i’m talking about : i’m highkey feeling like, michael dameski style which is an idea i had after i named him michael so don’t @ me for him having the same first name ).

— millions watched that show, including some prominent agents and scouts who were able to help him launch a professional dance career : something he never thought he’d see himself actually doing. his first big gig was making the dance team for some singer’s north american tour, and he ended up not returning to ut to pursue a professional dance career full time. since then he’s danced in a few music videos for some uber famous musican ( same one he went on tour with or not idk ?? also a wc ?? maybe ?? ), a tv show, couple movies, and other various gigs around the city. he works part time at a studio when he has time, and has been honing his choreography skills as well.

— he makes enough dancing, but certainly not enough to make him RICH. no, that come from an impromptu vlog he did while on tour with aforementioned singer. having already garnered a following from world of dance, he soon rose to youtube fame as well, something he never could have predicted. i feel like his videos are very just, day in a life with various random challenges mixed in, and various workout and flexibility tips. he also still does pieces and duets with other prominent dancers just for fun too. his natural charisma and attitude really just carries him through easily lmao.

— mikey developed a bit of a habit of sleeping around when he left for college, all the newfound freedom was just intoxicating and well. he was hot so. it wasn’t like it was hard alsdkjf. that stuck around well into his blossoming dance career. nothing that was enough to be scandalous, but he made his way around. and then a year and a half into this unforeseen new life, he met matthew glass.

— he’d had a couple serious relationships before, one in high school, one his freshman year of college but neither of them could hold a flame to what he felt when he was with matt. perfection wasn’t something mikey believed in, but he almost did with what they had.

— it was like for over a year and a half he lived in this insane dream, and then mikey and matt broke up and he was devastated ( behind closed doors and with curtains pulled tightly shut ).

— he then proceeded to broadcast how perfectly fine he was doing by going back to his old ways and sleeping around obsessively, this time with very little regard as to how many headlines he was making. as far as coping mechanisms go, i guess sex is better than alcohol ?? not to say he wasn’t also drunk at times l o l.

𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂

— mikey is a... how do u say... im gunna write manwhore bc it’s accurate so pls don’t take offense. inch resting bc i’ve written smut like once in my eight year rping career but that’s what he decided he was gunna be and who am i to deny that.

— very bi. very much does not care. if the world didn’t know he was before, it definitely does now lmao. he hasn’t come out in the sense he’s like posted a video about it and said “i’m bisexual” but it’s pretty obvious from the media and maybe he has gotten asked in interviews and has just shrugged and been like does it matter ?? i’m sorry he’s not the vocal bi ally we need. perhaps we will work on that.

— hasn’t dated anyone since matt bc he’s highkey lowkey still hung up on him but no one needs to know that right. outwardly, he’s very much the same : seemingly happy, but he’s a lot more careful with his heart and letting people close to him. if anything he’s become a bit of a two-way mirror, always seeing out but never really letting people see in, just what they want to see.

— probably goes without saying but extremely flexible. idk if any of you know who juuse saros is but apparently he can twerk in a split and i’m not saying mikey can but like. he just might be able to...

— straight up does not get cold. never wears more than a hoodie, probably danced shirtless in the middle of winter just fine. at least being from winnipeg is good for one ( 1 ) thing.

— i feel like people call him flower. idk guys. maybe im just thinking too much abt hockey goalies.

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

— he tends to be extremely underestimated as he comes across a bit dumb and generally has a pretty positive outlook on life which people confuse for him being naive when that isn’t the case. but he’s found he can use that it his advantage and that sometimes, people will tell him things they think he can’t understand but he hears and remembers everything. it’s helped him out of a few difficult situations before.

— i feel like he has a bit of ethan dolan’s personality & dumbass energy idk guys...

— live in the moment kind of dude. his motto is probably like : you just gotta know what you want to do next. i mean looking back on his life it’s been pretty crazy and that’s only solidified his outlook that like, you really can’t control too much. just let it go where it takes you.

— people do like him though and they like talking to him for whatever reason. generally has pretty trustworthy vibes but he’s more slippery than he comes across. he’s a selfish person at heart and always has his own best interests in mind, even if it doesn’t seem that way at first.

— extroverted. i think ??

𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄

— 6′1″. chocolate brown eyes. curly brown hair. he has a lithe but extremely fit build due to his career. his core strength is especially impressive. 

— he has a monochromatic lineart tattoo of a rose on his left forearm / wrist and a butterfly ( again monochromatic & just lineart ) on his right shoulder. small scar at the base of his neck by his ear from an unfortunate hockey accident.

— needs glasses but usually only wears contacts unless he’s in his apartment late at night.

— he’s not overly fashionable, going more for comfort than how he generally looks. on a regular day, he’s probably got the whole... college athlete look going if you know what i mean. a big fan of mirrored aviator sunglasses. wouldn’t know what dressing up meant even if it slapped him in the face.

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

first and foremost i want to say that i like to vibe and brainstorm with people to come up with unique connections between our characters but here are a few ideas:

— the singer whose tour he danced on — singer whose music videos he’s been in — mayhaps even actors for that tv show / movie he was in ( v small role but whatevs. maybe they just Vibed yknow ) — flirtationship 😔 — always ye ol good hookup l o l — we keep running into each other idk maybe we should talk ??

TAKEN CONNECTIONS PAGE HERE

𝐎𝐎𝐂

          hey guys, i’m ollie. my intros are either written really eloquently or a big mess bc im trying to rub together a couple braincells at 1 am and whatever comes out, comes out. no need to guess which category this one falls into lmAO. anyway, i’m a slow plotter bc i’m easily overwhelmed trying to do too many things at once but i swear i will try to get to as many people as i can. and yeah this entire character is inspired by my love of world of dance don’t @ me... if u made it all the way down here u should watch this bc 😳 & mikey has the same athleticism and strength.

[starfleetdoesntfirefirst]

(Discovery Season 3 Episode 4 “Forget Me Not” Spoilers)

Greetings disco friends, here is my attempt at a fix-it fic.

What I mind most of all was them showing his graphic death scene, whether it’s partially-temporary or completely-temporary, after doing the same with Hugh and Michael’s then-death scenes. As far as the future of Gray's plotline goes (this season and into the next, since we know the actor is filming Season 4), I think there's a chance (especially given that GLAAD was helping them write the storyline) that he'll be completely brought back from the dead like Hugh and a chance that he won't be brought back fully but rather will continue to hang around noncorporeally like he's doing now. But either way, as with Hugh and Michael's graphic then-death scenes, that doesn't change the fact that they showed that in this episode.

I think I've reached the point of hard 'no’ on continuing to watch the show myself. (Though of course I completely support y’all in watching or not watching the show, as works for you!) And I’ll still be around here, writing fic based on Season 1 through to this episode.

Also, I’m currently brainstorming ways to put something affirming into the fandom this season while not watching, since I won't be writing fix-it ficlets and…obviously I know no one ~depends~ on my fix-it ficlets, but this community means a lot to me and I guess I want to feel like I'm putting something into the fandom even as I'm (aside from continuing to make content for older season stuff) walking away, if that makes sense? (Maybe some book giveaways of sci-fi books with trans characters, tho that may or may not work logistically/financially, or something like that.) Please let me know if you have suggestions! <3

Dreampt Of More Things

Other, F/F, M/M | Teen And Up | Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | 2,600 words

ao3 link in a reblog since Tumblr still seems unpredictable about when posts with links are allowed in the tags

and/or, full fic + tags here:

Tags – Jett Reno, Jett Reno’s Wife, Michael Burnham, Hugh Culber, Ellen Landry, Philippa Georgiou (original Captain version), Adira Tal, Paul Stamets, Gray Tal, Sylvia Tilly, Tracy Pollard Adira Tal/Gray Tal, Jett Reno/Jett Reno’s Wife, Ellen Landry/Amna Patel, Hugh Culber/Paul Stamets Grief (Ellen’s) and mentions of Lorca, no serious injury since again we are sidestepping that but very brief description of Adira’s joining surgery, Gray Tal Lives, Jett Reno’s Wife Lives, Philippa Georgiou Lives

Note: This is not an Amna Patel Lives universe (Ellen Landry’s fiancée from Star Trek Online), as I am Making A Point about how no, it’s not that queer stories about loss and grief are bad or that I personally don’t want to write/read them; it’s about context, and how many characters have died over the course of your franchise, and the nature of your franchise, and what to portray versus not portray onscreen (in the context of your show), and how you’ve advertised your characters, and reading the room.

***

“Burning the midnight oil, huh?”

Jett looks up as Michael steps closer to her workbench in the corner of Engineering, raising an eyebrow, as Michael had known she would.

“Here to check my work on your outfit, Commander?” she asks, laconically, before bending her safety-goggled face back to her work.

Michael grins despite herself as she pulls out a chair opposite Jett. “I’m entirely confident in your work, Commander.”

“So you’re here to pester me because…?”

“Because I’m curious to see the work-in-progress. And, more importantly, because I ran into your wife on her way to turn in for the night, and she told me to tell you that she’s taking you out on a fantastic date when all this is over.”

“Where’s she think she’s gonna scare up a place to go out on any kind of date in the ass-middle of the 32nd century?”

Michael grins again. “I think it was a ‘looking for a way to take my wife on a fantastic date and if I cannot find one I will create one’ kind of thing.”

“Yeah, that tracks.” Michael can hear the smirk in Jett’s voice as she fiddles with the wiring on the angel suit’s chestplate.

“Don’t stay up too late, Commander,” she says as she stands. “We’re still gonna need you on shift tomorrow.”

Jett grunts in acknowledgement, and Michael smiles as she walks past the spore cube and towards her quarters for the night.

***

“How are you doing with all this, Landry?” Hugh ventures, after a few days of deliberation, when he and Ellen have a quiet moment alone together at the end of a meeting.

Ellen takes a minute before answering, dropping a PADD into her bag. “One of my security lieutenants said it seemed implausible that we’d be able to find a way to send Burnham back in time, once again, especially with the way the Burn affected ability of the time crystals on Boreth to interface with the suit even if we are granted one.”

Hugh raises an eyebrow and waits, silent.

“I told her that if she thought implausible was going to stop this crew, she must've not been paying attention to half the weird shenanigans they’ve pulled off.”

Hugh smiles wryly. “‘More things in Heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy,’” he quotes.

Ellen gives him a look, and he holds up his hands in surrender. “Maybe I’ve been spending too much time around this ship’s surprisingly high number of Shakespeare fans.”

“And we’ve already dreamt of more things, haven’t we?” Ellen asks simply, pausing and leaning a hip against the table. “At this point, it’s just a matter of choosing philosophies.”

High raises an eyebrow again. “That's an interesting way of looking at it, Commander.”

Ellen folds her arms. “Yes, thank you, I am a font of excellent observations, at least when I’m not busy misreading dipshit captains and making the worst choices in the universe. You can stop giving me the sympathy look, by the way.”

Hugh watches her, silent.

“Yes," she tells him in a sing-song voice, "I have in fact experienced one or two emotions while helping prepare for a mission to bring someone back from the dead and knowing I can never bring my own fiancée back.” Her tone drops back to a flat command. “The only person in my, this, situation who actually deserves your sympathy is Amna, and she’s not here to receive it. You’re a busy man; you’re needed all over the place. Go do something clever and medical somewhere.”

Hugh watches her for a moment longer before he says simply, “I’m so sorry. For your loss.”

“Don’t. No.” Ellen’s voice is firm, though without rancor. “Those words are not for me. I am not a good widow. Do you understand that? Instead of honoring my fiancée in any substantive way, I went off and got manipulated by some dipshit. And what’s worse, if it hadn’t been for the manipulation and the secretly evil part, I might not have ever figured out to regret it. Do you understand that? Can you understand that? You’re a good person. Your partner is a good person. Do you know what it is to not just not be able to save her but to get even grieving wrong?”

For a long moment, Hugh considers what to say.

“I think your actions in helping Lorca were wrong,” he says. “I don’t think it’s possible to grieve wrong.”

Ellen, eyes dubious, grunts in a way that could be dismissal, acknowledgement, or something in between.

“Take care, Commander,” Hugh says quietly, heading for the door.

He is nearly in the hallway when Ellen speaks.

“This is part of hers.”

Hugh pauses, turning to face her again. “Hers--?”

“Amna. This mission would have been part of her philosophy.” Ellen’s lip twitches in what could be the shadow of an exhausted smile, voice still blunt and the expression in her eyes still characteristically direct. “Without question.”

***

When Georgiou returns from Boreth, she discovers that Adira has slipped down to the shuttle bay to meet her.

“How did it go?” they ask, hesitantly, eyes wide with some unknown emotion.

“Successful,” she tells them, as the two of them make their way out of the bay together. She pats one strap of her pack. “We now have a time crystal.” Given that Gray’s life rests on having a crystal to power the suit, it’s unsurprising that Adira has been worried.

“No, I mean—I knew you’d be able to do it,” Adira tells her, as if this is obvious, a trust and confidence in their eyes that makes Georgiou’s heart ache. “But, I just, I do talk with the rest of the crew, and they talked about how Pike was so f—messed up by whatever he had to go through to get the crystal, like it was really really…bad. And I just—” They stare at their feet as they walk, sneaking a quick glance sideways at Georgiou. Georgiou knows she probably looks like shit. “If I’d never come to this ship, you wouldn’t have done that for Gray. For us.”

Georgiou stops walking, turning to face Adira, and Adira watches her, their face pinched and anxious.

“Listen to me, Adira.”

Adira nods.

“This might not be something you fully, truly understand until you’re an adult yourself, but when kids are hurt or in danger, it’s us adults' job to protect you. That’s one of the most important parts of being a caring adult Human. Caring adult person,” she corrects herself. “Maybe the most important thing.”

Adira nods uncertainly.

“Saving Gray is the most important thing right now,” Georgiou says gently, as the two of them resume walking. “To all of us. You arriving on this ship was a very, very good thing for so many reasons, Adira. Saving him is one of them.”

“And that’s a go, Burnham!” comes Paul’s voice in Michael’s ear, and she launches herself upwards from Discovery’s stationary hull, the soft interior padding of the red angel suit once again surrounding her as she hovers in space, programming her coordinates.

“Jump commencing in thirty seconds,” she reports.

“Take good care, Commander,” Paul says, his voice gentle in her ear against the silent cushion of the vacuum around her.

“I will.”

A pause of a few seconds. “Adira says ‘good luck.’”

Michael can picture the two of them as they were when she flew out of the shuttle bay, Paul standing at his portable console in the shuttle bay's cobbled-together mission control, one arm around Adira.

“Tell them—” Michael swallows. “Tell them thank you. Tell them that I’ll—tell them that we’ll be back soon.”

“I will.”

The countdown completes, and Michael falls forward into a bright shower of instants.

***

Outside the generation ship, Michael shifts reality out of the timeline with a wave of one Jett-Reno-enhanced suit hand, glancing at the two figures inside the viewport in front of her before tractoring the asteroid off its course. After confirming its trajectory away from the ship, she punches the personal transporter on her chest, materializing inside.

Gray and Adira startle, each making as though to stand protectively in front of the other.

“I mean you no harm,” Michael says quickly. “And you’re both going to be safe. I am going to make sure of that. My name is Michael Burnham, and the next year is going to be very difficult for you, Adira,” she continues, feeling the words tumble from her lips as quickly as she can say them, “but I want you to know that when that year is over, you’re going to see Gray again. Gray,” she says, holding out the unpowered exoskeleton of a second timesuit, “I need you to put this on and come with me.”

Gray steps closer to Adira. “What? No, I—”

“Your name is Gray Tal, and your last name was Senna Tal, and when he was a child his favorite thing to do was to read books to his collection of plush tribble toys,” Michael says.

Gray’s eyes widen. “That’s—“

Michael continues, rattling off former Tal host facts as quickly as she can, before explaining, also as quickly as she can, about the asteroid they’ve just seen her deflect, and the symbiont, and the Discovery.

“Adira needs to have the symbiont,” she explains, “in order not to cause a time paradox. But the modified time crystal in my suit will allow me to shift you—” she nods at Adira—“back into the real timeline in time for the medbots to give you the symbiont. I just need to do it at exactly the right time, so that Gray doesn’t actually die, and you snap back just as the medbots are holding the symbiont.” Do medbots hold things? Hover them? Whatever; she’s getting the point across. And Gray is putting the suit on.

“Luckily, my amazing crewmates have worked out all the timing,” she continues, “so I just need to transport us back outside and then snap the timeline back to the right instant. And, yes, there will be two Tals in the galaxy when you see each other again and I’m sure that will make things very interesting. Ready to go?”

She holds out a hand, and Gray takes it. “I love you, Adira,” he says, as Michael reaches for the transporter.

“I love you too—” Adira says, and Michael and Gray reappear meters away in space. Adira is standing watching them, and standing watching them, and then with a motion of her hand Michael slams them back into the timeline and Gray puts a hand to his mouth over his suit visor as he watches the medbots complete the surgery and place a blanket over Adira, flying the newly-joined Human slowly away down the hallways and out of sight.

“You’ll see them again,” Michael whispers, “in just a minute.”

“Them?” Gray sounds puzzled.

Oh, right. Well, in just moments, there will be ample time for explanations. “Adira. You’ll see Adira, who’s going to be so very, very happy to see you. It will have been a year,” Michael adds, as she pulls up the angel suit controls, “and Adira is going to be so glad to see you again.”

They fall forward into sparking and sparkling time together, and all at once they’re dropping back into the timeline, floating easily in the vacuum in front of Discovery’s shuttle bay.

“Ready?” Michael asks.

Gray nods. “Yeah. I mean—of course I’m ready. I’m ready.”

Michael smiles, floating them into the bay as the forcefield ripples obligingly to let them enter and landing them both on the smooth floor, steadying Gray as his feet make contact.

“Gray?”

Adira is pressing their own hand to their mouth as Michael and Gray release the visors on their suits, and then they take a step toward him, staring as though they don’t quite believe he’s real.

“It’s me,” Gray says quietly, smiling nervously at them. “I’m here.”

This appears to be all the encouragement Adira needs to dash forward, wrapping their arms around him. He hugs them back, eyes closed as he buries his head against their shoulder. Adira is smiling and crying at the same time.

“I’m here,” he whispers to them again.

Michael steps away from the two of them, leaving them to it, and Sylvia hurries forward to wrap her arms around her. “Welcome back, Michael,” she says.

Michael hugs her for several long seconds before releasing her to accept a hug from Philippa and then a pat on the back from Paul as Tracy steps forward to scan her with a medical tricorder. “No adverse effects of the jump,” she reports, smiling.

Hugh is stepping over to do the same for Gray as Gray and Adira finally—though, Michael suspects, temporarily—pull apart. Paul echoes his motion, heading for Adira and rubbing their back before wrapping a supportive arm around their shoulder as Hugh reports that Gray is fine as well and the two teenagers grin exhaustedly at each other.

Michael watches the four of them for another moment, smiling, before turning to glance at the place where Ellen stands at her own console, studiously powering it down. Her eyes flick up just briefly toward the reunion in front of her before she lowers her gaze again, turning and slipping out the doors of the shuttle bay. Michael catches Tracy’s eye, and the two of them walk after her as Sylvia steps over to power her and Paul’s consoles down in turn and Philippa begins the process of packing the rest of mission control up.

***

At 20:00 hours in an undisclosed location on the starship Discovery, Jett’s wife leads her, eyes closed and complaining happily, into a room that has been decorated to a degree that resembles an explosion in a paper snowflake factory, while a few decks up on the bridge, Philippa settles into the captain’s chair for the night shift. Tilly climbs into bed, pulling out her PADD with its book on 30th century Earth, and at the table next to the viewport in Discovery’s rec room, Michael and Tracy sit beside Ellen in silence, keeping her company in her complicated grief. Hugh hums to himself while he brushes his teeth, and Paul yawns as he finishes slipping on his pajamas, stepping forward as Hugh sets his toothbrush back in its holder and wrapping his arms around him, humming deliberately off-key. He garners an eye-roll for his trouble, and two decks down, Gray and Adira sit in Discovery’s mess hall, gazing into each others’ eyes as Adira lapses into silence after explaining how Paul found them in the Jefferies tubes in orbit over Earth.

“You’ve had so many adventures all this time,” Gray says, grinning. “Adira Tal.”

Adira half laughs, shrugging one shoulder. “I guess so.” They look up at him. “I think my adventures are about to get even weirder, Gray Tal.”

Gray grins again. “You know, I didn’t think I or anyone I know was ever going to have the chance to visit the pools. What was it like?”

“Yes, I suppose you would have to ask me what it’s like, since it’s one of the memories we don’t share,” Adira comments with a mischievous grin of their own.

Gray laughs, shaking his head, and they beam at each other in shared exhaustion and confusion and joy as Adira begins their story and the Discovery floats onward through the night.

[saltine-kakyoin]

🎶 and jotaro and also kakyoin AND another character..whoever u want ;)

oho… you’ve sent me another message? you know what comes next bro, u brought this upon yourself….this is us now man

anyhow, AH. thos boys…god this one is gonna be so difficult because I have So Many Songs that are tied to them. as for the other character, i think i will do my boy sergio because i really need to share my brainstorming songs for him before i explode! :0 thank you again for sending these in, bro!! have a good night, ily! c:

this will be long bc i always ramble..i will be tagging this as long post for mobile gang!

Jotaro:

thom- i hate to start this off with a jotakak-themed song because i know some people Despise jk. i’m sorry for y’all who do, but ahh this song has been stuck in my head for days now! :’( In terms of the SDA, i always think of this song as like…jotaro’s bittersweet journey w his feelings for kak. it’s something about the like, ghostly windchimes in the beginning, the phone buzzing in the bg, and the “please don’t run away”s man, ahhh. I listen to this song a lot when brainstorming him coming to accept that friendship is as far as he and kak go. However,“ The pitter patter gave a rather rinse and lather feeling/ As opposed to shitty attitudes that made me bitter after laughter/ And I dearly regretted it” really makes me think of pt. 4 jotaro in any context. We only see the end result of his development from SDC, but like hhh… do you think he regrets being so gruff? I think of that 1 fanart where he’s looking at the group picture + hoping they knew he wasn’t annoyed by them (or something along those lines, i forget the exact line…ahh)

something’s missing- So, ofc not all parts of this song apply.. and truthfully, I listen to this song while thinking of the immediate period after the crusade in the SDA and how the crusaders are all left with this hole in them (..@kakyoin literally.. i’m sorry i had to. also, abdul is the hole). Out of all of them, though, I always think of Jotaro the most w this song- “My dad asks, ‘Were you okay out where you were stranded?’ How do I tell him that I wasn’t just okay… I was so much better?” LIKE DAMN THAT IS ONE (1) KUJO JOTARO… :( i think he comes back from the crusade and just feels.. severely misplaced. Going back to Japan and the girls following him to school every morning feels so alien to him.

tempest rhapsody- this song is just… *chef kiss* It makes me think of like. star platinum’s first manifestation, and of the emotions one would feel during a 50-day crusade to a place you’ve never been before, where you run the risk of death at least once a week…how would it feel to know if you got seriously injured in a fight, there would be a very real possibility that your *cough* dearly beloved *cough* mother could die? this song is my answer to that question

only in sleep- another choir song! i cannot help myself. This one is more for canon Jotaro. I’ve read a few fics about the universe reset where he’s reunited with the other crusaders one last time before everything becomes nil, and…..augh. “The years had not sharpened their smooth round faces, I met their eyes and found them mild — Do they, too, dream of me, I wonder, And for them am I too a child?“ is imo such a jotaro 4 am deliberation

softly- THIS. this was the Original jotakak song, no offense thom. i used to listen to this song on REPEAT while reading nessun dorma, ahhh. so much of the sda jotakak dynamic is shaped from that fic and this song, hghshg. Anyhow, now that I’ve worked on the development of their relationship in the sda, this song is most definitely a song for the jotaro who unknowingly pines in 3rd year and then comes to realize that ah…these are Emotions during uni. during their third year, jotaro and kakyoin do a ton of self-exploration, and spend more than one night floating in the pitch black void of the ocean talking about what they’re going to do after graduation with only the stars to accompany them. they lose this when jotaro goes to florida for uni + kakyoin paris, but they make up for it by calling each other all the time, so “Touch you softly I call you up late at night” made this song an instant hit in my book ghshghw. I adore this song, through and through. ;u;

post-published honorable mention bc i rediscovered him while i was workin on polnareff’s playlist!! DOLLY ZOOM is another really good song for pining jotaro. in the sda, he feels really Horrible about having a crush on kakyoin for a long time because he and his family (that is phrased weird, i am sorry) are the entire reason kakyoin got a hole punched right through his abdomen and spine. they’re the entire reason kakyoin spent months learning how to walk and use his legs again. he doesn’t do anything except bury his feelings because, to him, it’d be Really selfish to do otherwise. i listened to dolly zoom nonstop when i started writing Jotaro’s Decade-Long Yearn because it captures the guilt really well, ahh.

Kakyoin (it is 1:24 am as i’m starting this… let’s see how long i agonize over this part lmao)

ultraviolence- ahh, ze Mindworm Song. I really despise diokak and the fact that he had to spend like…3-4 months with the mindworm just chilling in his brain, but I can’t ignore the fact that he latched onto dio’s friendship and was initially elated to have that whole thing happen. It haunts Kakyoin in canon, and it Most Definitely haunts him in the SDA, and i think he and jotaro have a lot of conversations about how and why and what that whole experience was like. I always end up coming back to this song when brainstorming this year in the au. The beginning just sounds so lonely, and the background choir/ voices really give me the heebie jeebies. Then, there’s the build-up to the beat drop, which really make me think of like. what being mindwormed could feel like? And how it must feel to be so lost in that sauce that you become a passenger in your own mind, lost to the whim of one super manipulative vampire, augh. “You give me love, you know you give me love with your ultraviolet rays” ties into a few of FKA Twigs’ other songs where she sings about not being enough and really obsessively deriving love from someone whose attention is ultimately really harmful and unhealthy, and I think about that and Kakyoin a lot. :(

sound and color- so truthfully, this is my go-to song for any character that dies/almost dies and comes back, or goes through a Huge Life Change. kakyoin fits both of these bills to a T! this song makes me think of getting used to being around such a rowdy but tight-knit group of people who genuinely care about you All Day Long after spending your entire life in isolation. I always think of like, a happiness montage when the second half of this song comes around, and the montage i daydream about for kak during that section is *chef kiss* Sound + Color is like one of the best songs ever, and it’d be a crime to not have a kak setting for it. 

first love/late spring- fellas, here’s the kakyoin equivalent to jotaro’s softly. this song was IT, back when the sergio-divergent au and the “All the Crusaders Live” au were two separate things. back then, kakyoin and jotaro’s realization that oh, fuck, they really meant the entire world to each other happened much earlier in the plot. Looking back on that now makes me squint, but I do think that this song is still really fitting for kakyoin exploring those feelings- friendship is one thing, but romance is something entirely different and a lot more intimate. i think it’s a tug-of-war for him, between wanting to jump in to those feelings and wanting to run far far away from them because he doesn’t want to be wrong and ruin their friendship. good times in the kak hole

last words of a shooting star- I really love the bastard fucker side of kakyoin that is explored and celebrated in our fanon, but I can never shake the fact that some of his last thoughts were of his parents (and i think he was sorry for making them worry? which… baby…) and that his polite, “outwardly anxious” presentation was this big facade for like.. the Deep and Soul-Wrenching loneliness he felt because he was a stand user? The first stanza and “They’ll never know how I’d stared at the dark in that room/ With no thoughts” make me think of kakyoin deeply- if his family had never gone to egypt and he’d never met dio or jotaro, what would have happened to him? Who would he be? i’ve always been super attached to that part of kak bc fundamentally… I Relate. but also i am just fond of it because it makes me sob- he deserved so much better than to get murdered by the same man who manipulated his entire identity right at the climax of his character arc….some crimes can never be forgiven, hirohiko….

vertigo- i don’t listen to this song for kak often, but it is a Quintessential Kakyoin song. according to khalid’s twitter, vertigo is a song about “Overcoming overthinking. After every dark days, there’s a brighter outcome. Being at a super low place in your life and realizing that, there’s other people going through that same path you’re walking down. There’s always light at the end of the tunnel. It’s also a story about fear of abandonment.” which….Big Kakyoin Energies. The “Are we alive?Or are we dreaming?” part also ties back into the Kakyoin Parties in a Coma for a Month arc- your mind has a wild wild time when you’re in a medically induced coma, theoretically because it’s trying to fill in the blanks for all of the stuff you’re sensing? And coming out of a medically induced coma is a bizarre experience, where it’s hard to tell if you’re still in the coma and just imagining things or if you’re actually awake. Kakyoin has a mad time in the month immediately after SDC, one that i’m sure he doesn’t enjoy too much after the death 13 fight.

honorable mention goes to i am not yours- this has been a kak song to me for a long time as well. the context of the song is way different from my interpretation for this setting, but AH. I just think kakyoin really struggles to differentiate and understand romantic feelings. This song really reminds me of that struggle, and I think also touches nicely on like. the identity issue of it all too.. “yet i am i, who long to be” yanno? ; J ; it’s hard for me to explain

another honorable mention, my statue sinking. in the sda, after the events in egpyt, kakyoin is thrown into a coma for like an entire month while his body gets operated back together, and then he spends months in physical therapy learning how to walk w a prosthetic spine (kudos to cyborg speedwagon being a reverse engineering madman :D). i like to imagine that there’s also some degree of therapy going on this whole time, also. you don’t just get donuted + thrown into a coma for a month without some counseling to get you back on your feet..i think the lasting effects of dio’s influence are addressed here, but only briefly because it’s not something kakyoin is eager to explore. however, I think that this song captures the like... distress? i guess? of knowing that your life has been irreparably thrown off course because of dio. like yes, you met some really wonderful people that helped you learn how deeply healing friendship could be! but also.. you lost months of your life to mind control, and then another month to a coma, and then additional months to training your body to function again....there’s some psychological stress there. While I think that Jotaro and Polnareff are affected the most by the crusade, I think they all emerge from it with some degree of ptsd. Being targeted by complete strangers at all times of day cannot be good for your mental health, you know? Anyhow, I think My Statue Sinking captures that aftermath feeling really well. Everyone survives and recovers from the crusade, but there’s a part in all of them that is lost to Egypt. 

on to sergio!! (it is now 2:04 am lmaooooooo) sergio will be easy because I only ever listen to the same handful of songs when I’m writing him hdhgh

i will come to you- this is THE sergio song. i think of this song every time i write about him, whether it’s the “believe in me…” “also believe in me” lyric exchange that i imagine he has with both tomoko and holly; the “and i will pray to my father…my father…and he will abide” part being about him reaching out to joseph with his final breaths and spilling all of the beans about dio and begging him to finish things so that Tomoko and Josuke, the Kujos, and he and Suzi can be safe; the “foreeever……foreee-eever.. forever..” part being where he dies and his soul passes into the next realm.. “even the spirit of truth [golden prophet] whom the world [..yeah..] cannot receive, because it seeth him not [bc suad defects and buries sergio instead of bringing his dead body to dio]. Neither knoweth him, but you know him…for he dwelleth in you and he shall be in you [literally the entire joestar/kujo/higashikata family being so near and dear to him + his spirit being with them even after death]” and then, like.. george i, jonathan, and george ii coming to retrieve his soul during the “heeeee shallll beee in youuu” part… “i will not leave you comfortless. i Will Not leave.. You Comfortless… iiii wiiiill come…. to you.. to You” part being about his soul mingling within star platinum and crazy diamond because he has a Need, even in death, to protect them. UGH (also his essence being especially prevalent in crazy diamond, which is partially why its power is to repair things!! bc hamon! ; O ;) literally I have an Entire music video with sergio’s death set to this music. i’ve listened to it way too many times.

when david heard- so to be frank this is actually more of a joseph song, but it’s only a joseph song when sergio exists + gets murdered. :o i cried the first time i listened to this, and then months later i listened to it while thinking of sergio + like. sobbed fr fr. Joseph is asleep when Sergio calls him, so he gets sergio’s final message as a voicemail on his answering machine hours after the fact. the message itself is chilling because Joseph had no clue his son had gone on this huge mission by himself to kill Dio, and now he’s dead! however, it’s made even worse because Joseph wasn’t there to pick the call up and comfort his son in his dying breaths or do Anything. it’s just like Caesar, which is. god awful. it’s such a horrible realization because sergio, whom joseph named after what caesar wanted to name his own son, has been condemned to the same fate as his namesake. Thus this song- i’ve yet to come across a song that captures the feeling of hearing that kind of news so well. (also when i tag things as my sOOOOON or *cries my son in 8-part harmony a la whitacre*, this is the song i’m referencing :D)

zombies / terrified- ahhh, these songs capture the HORROR sergio feels upon sensing dio’s presence in Japan really well. (also “I’m going to eat you alive/please don’t find me rude, but i don’t eat fast food/ so don’t run too fast” is SUCH a dio mood…) Sergio maintains his composure about the Dio Dilemma for a good year before he flies off the handle, and his entire proto-crusade against the vampire is just. Laced with paranoia, even if he is learning a ton of useful skills. These two songs capture that feeling of something constantly watching/creeping up on you so well, and ever since i discovered them, I’ve listened to them for Sergio inspo.

the prophet- This is the only song I’ve done so far that the characters would actually listen to lmao. Sergio is a Huge fan of The Temptations, and his stand is actually named after this song! (+ the esoteric title for the hermit, which was really amazing luck on my end ; J ;) it also had a huge hand in figuring out what his stand power would be, the lyric that decided it was “God doesn’t listen to the words you pray; he hears what your heart has got to say.” However, the entire last stanza of the song ties really well into his character arc fhshgh. Also, this song just feels like it could Be the child of Bloody Stream, if that makes any sense. it’s so groovy and funky, but the lyrics are like big ominous lmao. I was super ecstatic to find this song- if sergio were to ever get an animation, this song would be the OP, yanno?

armageddon- This is another “this song would be on their personal playlist” song. Sergio’s got a lot of love for all styles of music in his heart, but jazz is his home base and always what he comes back to. I like to imagine that Lisa Lisa’s husband introduces Sergio to Wayne Shorter’s music at the age of like 8 or 9, and Sergio’s just. obsessed with the man’s music for the rest of his life. I really love Shorter’s explanation for the meaning of this song and its album as a whole: “What I’m trying to express here is a sense of judgment approaching - judgment for everything alive from the smallest ant to man. I know that the accepted meaning of ‘Armageddon’ is the last battle between good and evil - whatever it is. But my definition of the judgment to come is a period of total enlightenment in which we will discover what we are and why we’re here.” Like… wig.. I feel like that’s such big sergio energy. Armageddon itself also feels like a really nice ED- it’s lively, but in a good episode-ending kind of way. Do i dream of animating Sergio’s adventure one day? Mayhaps.

honorable mention goes to just my imagination/ my girl- We’ve covered that Sergio adores The Temptations, so it’s no secret that he would listen to these songs ceaselessly. however, i really like the broadway harmonies + instrumentals that they did for Ain’t Too Proud, so that’s what’s goin in here. these songs are THE tomoko/sergio songs…He loves Tomoko and the way she quips + teases + gets up to nonsense with him So Much. There’s a huge part of him that has No Idea what Tomoko sees in a music geek like him, but ughh he is so grateful that she likes him because she is a Goddess. he’s blessed yo..

[twistednuns]

February 2020

I managed to use my iPad as a second monitor for my computer. So tech savvy. Yay me!

Joking about developing a sex-based cardio programme with Manu. Powerfucking! Might help against aggression as well.

A late night phone call with Tom. Not saying much.

Making a huge pot of my grandmother’s signature veggie stew.

More Bon Appétit test kitchen videos. Chris recreating tacos. Claire making Ben&Jerry’s. Priya making her mum’s Indian curries.

Writing a letter to Lena. Drawing upside down bats (which makes them look like they’re having a wicked dance-off). Just the act of writing. I thoroughly enjoy looking at my handwriting.

Using the Salted Coconut handscrub by Lush. Especially now that I wash my hands so often when we’re working with clay at school. I feel like the peeling triggers some pressure points on my palms.

That Saturday productivity high. Cooking and preparing heaps of stuff, cleaning the windows, doing laundry.

Painting my nails like an expressionist artist.

Some portrait studies. Accidentally drawing Sirius Black.

Being really motivated to improve my Spanish. Working with Lorena, the Duolingo app and even starting my own grammar/vocabulary book.

This ultra quirky ASMR video. Also: watching videos with Erin an her boyfriend Chris. It’s amazing how well they work together. How you can almost feel their connection, how similar they are.

Carrot cake oats.

Seeing the The Darkness live again, this time with Margit. Justin’s outfit and personality, singing along, especially to Time of my Life, the band’s traditional first song after the show.

Meeting Chris. Having a Bramblette cocktail at Pusser’s. I like that place. Feels very old-timey with a rowing boat right under the ceiling. We made out in front of a tiger slide in a toy store window on our way to the next bar.

Peeling fresh carrots.

Pickling onions and making kimchi. My fermentation game is strong these days!

Looking through Dominik’s sketchbook. I loved the tree whose bark resembled a mole burrow with its underground tunnel system.

The flu. Yes, really. Fewer pupils at school. Quiet times. I’m actually surprisingly healthy. I’d guess my probiotics must play a role here… Who knows.

More sourdough experiments. Writing about it (DELICACY - a haiku. Oven-warm sourdough / salted butter, alpine cheese / and a strawberry).

Finding a really interesting list of SanFran hippie era book recommendations at the end of Robin Sloan’s Ajax Penumbra: 1969. In the mood to read Maya Angelou, Tom Wolfe, Jack Kerouac, Richard Brautigan.

Even more beautiful books: I really enjoyed Die weiße Stadt by Karolina Ramqvist, a feminist author from Sweden, and the graphic novel version of To Kill a Mockingbird. But two books that literally (well, figuratively obviously) blew my mind were Circe by Madeline Miller (mythology, loneliness, animals and plants, magic and monsters, some desperate kind of feminism, independence and strength) and Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo (magical realms, university setting, psychological depth, unexpected twists and turns). I haven’t read anything comparable in a very long time and I desperately hope that there’s more to come from these authors.

A beach collecting all the world’s single socks in The Magicians. Oh and of course seeing them break the moon. What a sight. The show is super confusing, obnoxious and absolutely fabulous at the same time. Best example: the Freaky Friday szene in which Margo and Eliot switch bodies. I love how the actors took on each other’s speech patterns and behaviour.

A new addition to my colour vocabular: celadon (a greyish green; there is a type of ceramics you’ll only see in this colour which is not surprising since the shade provides such an interesting contrast to the the earthy, rusty orange of burnt clay.)

Manu telling me that he had rarely seen people with more joy in their eyes than me (“Ich habe schon Freude in deinen Augen gesehen! So ein Leuchten kann man nicht simulieren.”) after complaining about being bored and lifeless. / Making curry with or, well, for him the other night. Drinking Liqueur 43 with cinnamon and milk. Playing the Jackbox party games for which you can use your phone as a controller.

Finding myself in a well-known sitation from the past. Lying in Frank’s bed in the early morning hours, not that tired yet, when he starts talking about his life and his depression. In English, obviously, because that’s our emotional filter. Relating, since I feel quite similar. Coming up with a suggestion for a reciprocal support system. Let’s see what we can do for each other.

Looking at travel photographs. The sea, the cenotes. Longing to go back to Mexico or Australia. Diving. Taking it all in.

Dreaming of my grandmother talking about her biggest regrets in life. Weirdly she was in a little bundle under a coffee table, much like Voldemort in the last Harry Potter movie.

My weird, weird brain. How both pleasure and pain enhance my sense of smell and increase my brain activity, almost causing hallucinations and fixations on ideas. Like geometric shapes in gloomy off-colours and a beige silicon-like surface the other night. All I could think of was a benchscraper.

Blue eyeliner.

Brainstorming three-letter-words with Frank since I’m thinking of getting personalised Nike Blazers. Sad cat. Yes but. Dat ass. Why tho.

Flying squirrels. Watching them wobble through the air. How they look like cute exhibitionist when they’re extending their limbs and thus stretching their, well, let’s just call it wings.

The fact that red cabbage has an intricate pattern like brain convolutions when you cut it open.

Talking to Sonja for the first time in over two years. What a strange person. Interesting, too. At least in homeopathic doses.

Ripe strawberries and nectarines. Oh my god. I love fruit.

Meeting Eve at Pub Quiz. She identifies as female, loves swing dance, used to be an animator and I love her style. Also, I realised that really like Betty. And Dennis wasn’t mean to me for once. I love my nerd friends <3 And I learned that Starbucks was named after the first mate in Moby Dick! Also, coincidentally they asked a question about the city where To Kill a Mockingbird takes place (Maycombe, Alabama) after I had read it the week before.

Inviting Lorena to the Botanical Gardens. I always feel very happy and very much myself when I’m there. I sometimes wish I was a gardener. Lorena was late so I walked along the Spring Path outside and it might have been the first time I’ve seen a brussels sprouts plant. Inside I learned lots of Spanish words and marveled at the incredible butterflies. The huge yellow one right behind the entrance was my favourite. Its delicate feelers were fascinating.

Washing my hands at the Keg’s bathroom. Looking into the mirror. Suddenly thinking of the perfect karaoke song… Rescue Me by Bell Book and Candle! I kept singing it for days on repeat. My neighbour must hate me (nothing new here) especially since my voice is too low for the chorus.

It isn’t hard to see how such attachment patterns can undermine mental health. Both anxious and avoidant coping have been linked to a heightened risk of anxiety, depression, loneliness, eating and conduct disorders, alcohol dependence, substance abuse and hostility. The way to treat these problems, say attachment theorists, is in and through a new relationship. On this view, the good therapist becomes a temporary attachment figure, assuming the functions of a nurturing mother, repairing lost trust, restoring security, and instilling two of the key skills engendered by a normal childhood: the regulation of emotions and a healthy intimacy. // An interesting article on attachment styles and why theraphy works; it makes me want to learn more about attachment theory. This School of Life video is a nice addition as well.

That dream. About a book shop modeled after my picture of Penumbra’s 24-hour bookstore. There was an old man in a very narrow but high-ceilinged room full of books. There was no light source except for moonlight or some street lights. There were loads of stairs, very steep, leading to the back of the house. Upstairs the man would set out cat food and on the rooftop there was an old sailing boat. One day the man decided to open the door to the roof and let visitors see the ship, much like a museum; perhaps to attract customers. However, in the next night a cat-shaped ghost appeared who reminded me quite a lot of Kot Behemoth character in Mikhail Bulgakov’s The Master and Margarita. The ghost was not amused about the old man’s decision and took away his key, a big golden one adorned with a red ribbon.

Toasted sesame makes pretty much every dish so much better.

Watching High Fidelity with gorgeous Zoe Kravitz (I adore her effortless style and her outfits), getting in the mood for making a playlist and listening to more music in general. There are all these great songs out there I forgot about.

Remembering the xkcd storm chaser comics.

Making a wicked good batch of Pho for Tom.

Spending a nice evening with Alex at Shamrock. Singing along to American Boy by Estelle. Confirming the hypothesis that the nerdy, quiet ones usually have a freak streak. That moment in the morning. Eye contact and kegel exercises.

Karaoke with Margit and Betty. Meeting Manu’s doppelganger. Same type, looks, voice. Eerie.

Making a BA Gourmet Makes meme for Steffen after he had passed his law examps. Strangely Gaby kinda looked like him after I was done with it.

Saturday morning in bed. Reading comics and graphic novels. Fresh bedclothes, surrounded by books. Since it was February 29 I thought about leap years and asked a few friends what their inner seven-year-old would have done that day (based on the thought experiment that your birthday was on February 29 and you’d age in 4-year-steps which would divide your age by 4 obviously).      

I came up with: visiting grandma / eating Cini-Minis / falling asleep with my face buried in a cat / beating my neighbour Anna at Memory / drawing while listening to a Bibi Blocksberg cassette.

Alex said he’d have been outside all day, building a snow igloo. Not noticing his mum telling him to come to dinner. If the weather had been bad he would have played with his dinosaur collection. His inner 7-year-old was a hopeless dreamer who got agitated whenever his parents had a fight. Who came home late from school every day because he forgot about time when he was talking to his friend next to a hedge with thorns that looked like tiny airplanes.

Lena said she would have been outside all day long, playing in the mud with the neighbours’ kids. Of course.

[lesbianoctoling]

Agent 8 is crushing on Agent 3 hard and doesn't know how to confess to her. She then comes up with an idea to make use her poetry skills. But she might need some help??

A/N: I got...Really, really into this. I want to thank my lovely datefriend for helping me tho! They even wrote the poem and rewrote a few parts for me!! They have a fic on AO3 that you should totally read if you like my stuff, I’m just sayin...

Anyways, if you enjoyed this please reblog it and give it a kudos on AO3! And feedback is always appreciated! ♥ 

“Aww, Eight, that’s called a crush! You have a crush on Agent Three!”

“A… Crush? But I don’t want to crush her!” Agent Eight squeaked.

Pearl peaked her head into the living room where Eight was having a conversation with Marina.

“Not literally, Eight,” The inkling put a tray of drinks on the coffee table, “It means you’re in looooveee~”

Pearl’s teasing made Eight blush and turn away, despite not really knowing what she meant.

“Pearlie! Don’t tease her, she’s having a hard time…”

“W-what does crushing someone have to do with love? O-of course I love Agent Three, but I don’t…”

Marina cracked a smile and Pearl snorted.

“Oh, Eight, sweetie,” Marina put a hand on the younger girl’s shoulder, who lifted her head. “A different kind of love. You know how Pearl and I are?”

“Well uh, yeah…But ‘Ree and I are already kinda like that, so-”

Pearl took a seat next to her girlfriend, grinning wide. “Nah nah, you two are nothin’ compared to us—“ Marina elbowed Pearl’s side, “Er, I mean. Think of those cheesy movies you watch all the time. The ones with the kissing.”

Eight’s eyes widened and her face turned a bright shade of red, making Pearl break into a fit of laughter.

“I- Well I wouldn’t, I mean, I kinda want to, but I don’t…” Eight sputtered.

Marina giggled. “You should tell her. Sounds like you’ve felt like this for a long time.”

Eight buried her face in her hands. “B-But…”

Pearl’s laughter stopped abruptly, and she cleared her throat. “I’m pretty sure she feels the same way, kid.”

Eight peaked through her fingers. “Really? You think she would?”

“Oh, Eight, you have no idea. She looks at you like you’re the most beautiful cephalopod in the universe!” Marina said, clasping her hands together dramatically. “But we won’t force you to do something if you’re not comfortable with it.”

“But,” Pearl interjected, “Ya never know if another girl might just… Swoop right in, and take her.”

Eight lowered her hands and avoided eye contact with both of them, attempting to register what she was feeling and what she should do.

“Well uhm… What should I try to do then?”

Eight stayed up all night, brainstorming and writing all her feelings down. She woke up in an uncomfortable position on her desk, drooling on a notebook and paper.

She paused for a moment, looking out the window beside her. The sun was just rising and the sky was an orange-pink colour. When she realized what she was doing, she leaned back and stretched with a loud yawn. She then collected her scattered belongings on her desk.

In front of her was a piece of pink, cutesy expensive looking stock paper.

Scribbled on it was cursive inklish, accompanied by small doodles of an octopus and a squid surrounded by hearts and stars.

The octoling smiled to herself as she read it:

Yellow is what I saw when I came here,

It was the welcoming sun when I found my freedom

Yellow is in your eyes when you’re near

You make my heart beat quite like a drum

My heart unsteady, will I be ready?

To be in your arms, when the time comes

When I’m with you, I always feel steady

There’s a pull on my heartstrings, a melody strums

Normally, the girl had a talent for conjuring poems on a whim. She would take her journal almost everywhere she went, and wrote short poems about things she saw in Inkopolis or whatever was on her mind. But this poem wasn’t exactly like the others - it had to be perfect; she had to put her hearts into it and everything. Eight found herself staying up until 4 am in order to achieve this.

Agent Eight read it over and over in her head, rewriting it countless times in order for it to meet her standards. She read it out loud, adding in extra words or taking a few out. She tried to incorporate more rhymes but a few of them fell flat. Finally, she wrote one that she loved best.

Despite that, she felt a lump in her throat and her stomach twist in knots.

What would Agent Three think of it?

Would she even like it? Would she understand it? Is it not straightforward enough? Maybe she should add more hearts — or perhaps a flower or two. But what if Agent Three understood it and didn’t like it?

What if she ended up hating her or thinks she’s disgusting?

The octoling shook her head and pushed the negative thoughts away. She had to try at the very least. She was terrified, but she still had a chance according to Pearl — and Pearl always gave her good advice.

Pushing herself away from the desk, she set off to do her morning routine and text Agent Three (even if it did take her almost half an hour to press the send button), asking her if she would like to practice aiming in a private battle today.

She received a reply rather quickly, something she didn’t expect as Agent Three isn’t normally awake for another few hours. Eight wondered if this meant she pulled an all nighter again. She made a mental note to pester Three about this later.

She opened her messenger to reply to her friend.

E 7:23AM: Good morning! If you are not busy, do you want to play target practice in a private battle this afternoon? 🐙🔫

T 7:56AM: why is the octopus pointing the gun at herself

T 7:56AM: who gave her that anyways

T 7:57AM: thats dangerous

E 7:59AM: She’s holding it, silly. She wants to practice, too! 💪🏻🐙

T 8:01AM: o ok

T 8:01AM: what a determined octopus

T 8:01AM: determinpus

E 8:02AM: ? I don’t get it.

T 8:05AM: …

E 8:06AM: Oh! I get it now! lol!!!!

E 8:06AM: She is a determined octopus! You mixed the words together. You’re so clever. 😙

T 8:06AM: aaa

T 8:07AM: yes

T 8:07AM: anyways sure we can pb

E 8:10AM: Yay! What time? 🐙⏱

T 8:13AM: is an hour from now ok

T 8:13AM: i might turf after so

E 8:15AM: Yes, yess ! See you there! 🐙♥️

When Agent Eight closed her phone’s messenger app, she lifted a hand to find her cheeks burning and sore from blushing. Agent Three is just too cute and she felt so lucky. Everyone else found the inkling to be silent and intimidating, but in reality she was a huge softie that only a select few people got to see.

And she happened to be one of those select few.

Agent Three impatiently checked her watch as she waited outside the private battle lobby she reserved almost 10 minutes ago. In one hand was a suitcase containing her charger gear, and next to her feet was a duffel bag full of different outfits she thought would be useful.

It had been over an hour since her octoling friend asked to meet her there. She checked her messages and the time again. No, Three was on time. Why was Eight so late?

A bead of sweat dripped down the inkling’s cheek. The octoling was never late, and she was sure there was a logical reason for her to be this time, but what if —

“‘Ree!” Three heard from behind her, making her ears perk. Just before she could turn around, she felt warm arms wrap around her torso from behind. For a moment she stiffened, but as soon as she registered who was behind her her body relaxed.

“Ree, goodness, I’m so sorry I’m late!” Eight said, leaning back to look at Three – who had now turned her head to face Eight – but still holding onto her. She really had no sense of personal space.

“It… It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” With gentle hands, she grasped the octoling’s arms and free’d herself from the other’s grip easily. She swore she heard the other whine, though. “What happened? You’re usually early.”

“Oh, well I, ah,” Eight’s tentacles moved inwards and outwards, like they were trying to grab onto something as she spoke. “I got a little sidetracked after strolling past the new stores downtown! There was a comely little antique shop next to the new confectionery and —“ Realizing she was beginning to ramble and use words the inkling doesn’t seem to know, she slowed down. “I just got a little distracted is all, haha.”

“I see,” was all Three managed to comment. Eight’s rambling was absolutely adorable to her, especially when she got excited, so she really didn’t mind. “Do you want me to set it up?”

“Oh, right, yes, of course!”

The two stepped forward to the lobby’s station, with Three setting the battle up using a tablet beside the door.

“Do you want to play target first?” Three asked as she looked for a decent map, eventually settling for Sturgeon Shipyard. Their target practices considered of one person playing “target” on the alpha team, using a brush to zip around the map while the player on bravo tried to splat them with a charger.

“I always play target first,” Eight replied, followed by a giggle, “I want to snipe first this time.”

“Alright, then. Let’s get started.”

The two of them played for over an hour and it was clear they were both getting rather tired.

Eight was winning the nonexistent competition so far, getting almost 20 splats on Three every time it was her turn. It was a bit unfair, really — she had always been good with a charger, and she certainly knew how to use an e-litre.

Three, on the other hand, was clearly struggling and needed this practice far more than the octoling did. She was used to only really using one type of weapon: a standard splattershot, or maybe her heroshot. While she was talented with those weapons, she found herself fumbling with the charger and having difficulties holding it correctly.

The inkling was getting frustrated, and Eight had to make a move soon before the other called it a day.

But she had an idea. It was a mischievous one, sure, but she knew she could get a few giggles out of Three if she did it and initiated her plan at the same time.

Eight smirked to herself, slamming her inkbrush down in front of her and running just outside of the charger’s range. She stifled a giggle when she heard the inkling jump down from her perch to pursue her, not actually expecting Three to take the bait.

She ducked behind a wall on her side of the map, not bothering to hide in her ink. She had a death grip on her inkbrush, her hands sweating and shaking. Her plan was starting to seem like less of a good idea now, and all the potential negative outcomes flowed through her mind. She was so confident a moment ago, why was she now so afraid? She couldn’t wrap her head around her own emotions, but she knew she was starting to doubt herself. Despite this, she decided to ignore the rampant thoughts.

Eight took a deep breath and peeked over the wall. Three was in the middle of the map, aiming opposite of Eight’s position. She couldn’t help but giggle at the sight, Three looked so silly — she was supposed to be one of the strongest inklings in existence, yet she was completely unaware of her surroundings despite her serious, concentrated demeanour.

Of course, she still heard the octoling and spun around to shoot. Fortunately, she missed. Eight used this as a time to strike and ran zipped towards the inkling, zig-zagging away from her attempted shots.

She turned quickly and circled the other agent, once, twice, three times before slipping something in her pocket and darting away. She didn’t get very far before she felt a concentrated shot on her back and the world going black — and when she opened her eyes, she had respawned on the other side of the map.

Shaking off excess ink, Eight laughed nervously and ran back towards the middle.

“‘Ree, good job! You finally got me!” Eight giggled.

Eight’s heart stopped when she saw Agent Three standing still. Upon looking closer, she realized Three was already reading her note. She dropped her inkbrush and slowly approached the inkling, her feet like concrete and her heart beating in her ears. She could feel her arms shaking rapidly as butterflies formed in her stomach and flew all the way into her chest.

“Um… Three?” She squeaked as she finally stood close enough to her.

“Eight, what is this?” Three asked. The inkling seemed mildly confused as she gazed at the note, straightening it with her hands.

“Oh, ah, well, you see…” Eight stammered. Her tentacles began to contract rapidly as she searched for words to say, struggling as she did so. “You’re really important to me so, I thought maybe, I could—“

“It’s really nice.”

“—I could make something for you and — oh! It… It is?” Eight felt a wave of multiple emotions flow course through her body. She was relieved that the inkling didn’t seem upset, but she also had trouble figuring out just how the other may feel as well, bringing her a sense of excitement and fear to what Agent Three might say.

“Does this mean that you, uh…” Eight mumbled, trying to figure out Three’s thoughts.

“Well, it’s a pretty poem,” Three nodded. “You’re always so good with these. I don’t know if I really get it, but the little drawings are really cute.“

Eight’s hearts sank again.

She didn’t… understand it? Even with the pink cardstock, stickers, and little doodles she drew on it?

Eight felt like she was going to cry, but instead she took a deep breath.

“I uhm, Three…” She began, gently pushing the card out of Three’s focus. She made direct eye contact and felt her face heat up. If she wanted to get the message through, then perhaps she’d have to be straightforward. “I wrote it because I-I…”

She looked away and fumbled with the hem of her shirt. This was harder than she expected. Eight felt like there was something caught in her throat, unable to escape.

Suddenly she felt something warm touch her hands. When she looked down, Three had put her hands in hers. “Eight, are you okay?”

The octoling bit her bottom lip and looked back up, not exactly making eye contact this time but still keeping her attention focused on the agent.

“I have a crush on you, Agent Three. I really, really like you.”

Three’s eyes widened and Eight noticed her cheeks begin to flush red. She saw surprise, fear, and excitement shine through the other all at once. She wanted to back away and hide, and she attempted to do so, but Three gave her hands a reassuring squeeze.

Seconds passed, but they felt like years. Neither knew what to say or how to react, all they knew was that the air around them felt different, and now things were different.

Three was the first to break the silence, mumbling something Eight couldn’t hear.

“What was that?” She said, just above a whisper.

“I have…a crush on you, too.” Three repeated, looking away as her face turned a bright red.

Eight smiled. She smiled almost as big as she did when she first reached the surface. The inkling felt the same way, she didn’t think she was weird, she liked her too and now…

“That makes me so happy,” the octoling whispered, leaning her head onto the other’s. Three didn’t flinch or lean back, welcoming the act. She could feel the inkling’s nervous breath on her face. “You make me so happy.”

Three was overwhelmed with emotions. She wanted to play it cool, to act tough and not embarrass herself. But in reality, she wanted to skip and jump for joy.

“Wh-What now?” Three said.

“Well, uhm,” Eight’s eyes fell onto Three’s lips. “Can I… Can I kiss you?”

“You don’t need to ask,” Three smiled.

Eight found herself giggling, heat rising to her chest. She pulled Agent Three closer to her, closing the gap between both of them as they stared into each others eyes. Agent Three’s yellow reminded Eight of the sunset, warm and welcoming like when she first set foot in Inkopolis. And through Three’s eyes, Eight could tell she was trying to mask her shyness to no avail, making her heart swell with how cute the inkling was. It was just a few moments that they stared into each others eyes with hesitation, until Eight leaned in closer and finally pressed her lips against Three’s.

The kiss was a little awkward, but Eight could feel her heart bursting like a blaster shot. Even though their teeth clashed together and the kiss was overall messy (causing both of them to giggle), it was unlike anything the cephalopods have ever experienced before in their lives.

[queenie-the-writer]

appreciation post — 4 days to one year!

@/starpillow_

where else could i start but with one of my first, longest, and closest friends. to think that if i never started this account i never would have met you, my platonic soulmate, loml. you’re there for me in the good times and bad and everything in between. you are one of the strongest, most selfless, beautiful, and kind souls i have ever encountered. words cannot begin to describe how much i love you

@/persephonewritess

PERSEEEE. literally from the moment i saw your account i knew i wanted to be friends with you and i wouldn’t change that for the world. we haven’t known each other long but it doesn’t feel like it matters. you’re just super nice and fun to talk to and I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCHHHH

@/mayawritesstories

(HEY LOOK ANOTHER ONE OF MY POSTS YOURE TAGGED IN!) our friendship is a blur of account tips, life ranting, chaotic lateeee night convos (i’m talking 1am, possessed washing machines yk), screaming, fangirling, and a lot of other crazy shit. the fact that you literally just messaged me as i’m writing this at almost 12am proves my point i think. lmao love you to death cookie monster

@/roza_loveswriting

you’ve literally been here since the beginning omg. honestly the sweetest person i’ve ever met through my account and to think we’ve been through this entire journey together is crazy. you beta read LoB and are one of the first and most hardcore fans of the story and characters (#ambriacult where u at). i cant even begin to express how grateful i am for you <3

@/aurorae_writes

sadly you aren’t active rn and idk if you’ll see this but i could not leave you out if my life depended on it. you’ve also been here since the start and are one of the most supportive friends i’ve met here. you beta read LoB too and became an instant fan, joining the ranks of the fandom and the #ambriacult, and i love you endlessly for that. i wish you all the best in your writing and your life and whatever comes next!

@/thenovelcorner

HI JORJA, MY WRITING BESTIE THROUGH AND THROUGH. it has been such a ride with you gsjdhskdbc i lwk trust you with my life. i am OBSESSSEDDDD with your wip and this is my formal request for mira’s hand in marriage (dw caed is welcome too as you know polyamorous relationship and such ;)). i love youuuuu but also hate youuuuuuu but also love youuuuuu at the same time

@/hjwritess

it was the bonding over sjm, more specifically crescent city and the release of hosab and ruhn danaan for us. ugh but no ilysm even tho we’ve only known each other for a few months you’re literally one of my besties and idk what else there is to say. you’re brilliant and funny and talented and so nice omggg ily hj <3

@/fictionalturtlenecks

idk when i became the person you went to when you needed help brainstorming for your freaking IMMACULATE posts (i still don’t know how you post 24/7 maam) but it happened and it’s always when it’s late and i’m just abt ready for bed so my brain is wacko and yeah. you get it. granny needs her brian to rest. lmfao. tired brains + chaotic convos + post brainstorming = cOnTeNt and some great besties >>>

a bunch more amazing friends who deserve shoutouts <3

@/fallonswriting

@/calliopewritess

@/sailorwrites

@/jenwritess

@/rox.writess

@/the.writing_corner

@/liv.for.writing

@/mcpending

@/_fableandink

and one last thank you

which would be to you, wonderful reader of this right now. whether you’ve been here since day one or found my account just now; whether you left a like in passing or shared one of my posts to your story bc it made you laugh or you related to it or it helped you; whether you took the time to write me a comment or replied to one of my stories or sent me a dm just to say hi or how much you liked my account; thank you. if it weren’t for any of you, i would not be where i am today. i love every single one of you so much <3333

[im-basically-logan]

Happy Density Day!

haha get it cuz the formula for density looks like a heart. I still dont know how to title things. Analogical V-Day fic anybody? (quick note- sorry if the pacing is sorta weird??? idk how story writing works. personally my favorite part is the last few paragraphs lmao)

Summary: Logan wants to give Virgil a poem for Valentine’s Day, but wants to make it as perfect as possible. Either way, Virgil loves it. Words: 2,796 Ship: Analogical, Royality (tho, it’s only briefly mentioned and analogical is the focus) TW: Kissing, sleeping at bad hours, uh... Patton tackles Roman playfully at one point Please send me an ask/message if I need to add a trigger. Genre: Fluff!!

@riverbendover @nokatai-realm @crowsketches @living-on-the-virge

It was about 3 days before Valentine’s Day and as much as Logan would usually show nonchalance or distaste towards the holiday, he’s been Virgil’s boyfriend for 8 months now. He wasn’t going to brush off their first Valentine’s Day. He was going to make the perfect card for his Virgil even if it meant he didn’t get any sleep that week. Well, that was an exaggeration and Virgil would probably ask as to why Logan’s sleep schedule had suddenly done a 180. But nonetheless, Logan was going to make a nice little card.

Logan started out with printer paper as a planning stage, wondering what to actually put in the card. He went through scribbled out drawings, minimalistic pictures, telling Virgil how beautiful he was, and finally settled on writing a poem. He was good at those. Usually.

His trash can in his room began filling with balled up clumps of paper which were drafts that he deemed not good enough.

“Clothes are dark as space,  but eyes as bright as the stars. I hope-- No.” Logan mumbled the poem out loud to himself, then crumpled up the paper, threw it to the side, and started anew. The side of his hand was turning gray from being left-handed and the graphite of the pencil he was using. “I cannot describe to you how much I love you. It was a revelation when I had discovered my feelings for you. Like when Newton discovered gravity. It was fundamental to understanding life as you are fundamental to me understanding emotions…” He tapped the pencil against his head quickly, trying to think. It sounded… Like something. It wasn’t too bad, but he decided to trash and rewrite it again. It was probably just fine, but Logan was a perfectionist.

He began writing a bit more before deciding to create the decorations on the light purple construction paper he found for the actual card. He had the equation 128√e980 written along over the spine while the card was flattened. The equation was supposed to be read while the card was closed and turned a certain way, and it would read “I love you” from being folded in half. He found the little trick while looking up ways to say I love you to a partner. In pen he neatly wrote inside the cover of the card the beginning to his poem to Virgil. The beginning was the only thing he was happy with at the moment, but he would add more later. He checked his watch and read 11:30 pm. He sighed, put his materials away and went to bed. Although made sure to put the card neatly into the drawer of his desk. It was only 2 days before Valentine’s Day and he barely had anything! He wanted to keep working on it, but also sleeping was important and he and the others were working on getting a full night’s rest. Besides, Virgil would badger him in the morning about it and he couldn’t have his boyfriend find his surprise.

Logan went through the next day rather smoothly: Nice comebacks to Roman, reminding Thomas of important events, and of course a few nice kisses with Virgil in the middle of it all. Patton always grinned if he caught them and Roman always teased them until Logan mentioned it was almost Valentine’s Day.

“We are allowed to have physical affection, especially around this time of year, correct?” Logan asked Roman, raising a brow with a pouting expression.

“Well I suppose so, but… You two are such nerds!” Roman responded weakly, unable to come up with a witty reply. Patton butted in, putting his arm around Roman’s shoulders.

“Now, don’t be mean, Roman. It’s your time of the year, isn’t it? Valentine’s Day! A day of Roman-ce.” Patton laughed and Virgil, who was leaning slightly against Logan, snickered. Logan sighed with a very small hint of a smile while Roman rolled his eyes with a laugh. He exited with Patton, most likely about to go on an adventure or brainstorm. Logan, although, had a pit in his stomach as he was constantly reminded Valentine’s Day was just around the corner.

Such terrible planning on my end… He thought, biting the inside of his mouth before kissing Virgil on the head as they went to do their own separate things for now. He sank out and went to his room, relieved to find it just as it was when he left it. He hadn’t taken out his trash yet, but he assumed Virgil wouldn’t go digging through it at least and see the drafts. Checking his watch, which read 8:30 pm, Logan pulled out the drawer and took out the card. He drew a little density equation on the back, coloring in the little heart that the symbols for mass over volume created. He then opened the card back up, rereading the beginning of the poem he kept from a draft.

“I don’t believe I’ll be able to explain my love towards you. Like how it is a mystery as to the true way the universe was created despite the many theories. How the chances of us existing together may have been smaller than a quark, But we managed to exist and come together.” Logan sat down at his desk and began writing a bit more, once again mumbling the words to himself as he wrote. “Your mind can be as far away as a galaxy,

but I’d travel the light years.

You’re a fundamental element in my life, Like gravity to planets and stars.” He bit the bottom of his lip, unable to think of anything else to add. “I can’t even write a simple poem…” He murmured to himself, dropping his pencil. He kept his head up with his left hand, trying to think. There wasn’t any specific pattern or rhyme to the poem. It was purely just him rambling about how great Virgil is in metaphors about space and science. Would Virgil even enjoy that? He created a small, curvy border with a blue pen on the inside of the card, but cringed as he looked back to the unfinished poem. Then he put another line. “I am and always will be unable to express how much I care for you.” It was true, but the poem felt too short and he barely had an idea on how to end it. He wrote on the other half of the inside of the card “Happy Valentine’s Day, Virgil. Love, Logan”, drew a simplistic galaxy on the front, and went back to his previous position of laying his head atop his hand. Instead of coming up with any ideas, Logan somehow fell asleep on his hand. He took his nap for about 4 hours, waking up at the superb hour of around 1 am and his head ended up on the desk with his hand still upright. Great. Only 1 day until Valentine’s Day and he was barely done with his card. He dug his hands into his hair in frustration. It should have been easy to write a poem. But no it was going to be difficult and now he was tired as hell. He decided to create the blue borders on the outside of the card while waiting for the others to get up. After finishing the border, which did look rather nice, he put it back in the desk drawer and went to sleep in his bed this time. Although he didn’t fall asleep immediately. Of course not. He was thinking about what Virgil would think if he barely had anything to give. The poem was pretty choppy… he should rewrite it again. What if Virgil didn’t even want a card? Would chocolates have been better?

Luckily, Logan didn’t stay up late enough to question anymore as he crashed into sleep while thinking about Virgil. Said side must have felt Logan still being awake because he made his way into Logan’s room having woke up early himself. It was dark so he couldn’t see the trash can of the Valentine’s drafts but he could feel his way over to Logan’s bed and curled into his chest almost like a human-sized cat. Before going back to sleep, he kissed Logan’s cheek and put his head half on some pillow and half on the mattress with his head lying against the top of Logan’s chest. He didn’t mind sleeping like this, in fact if he was resting next to Logan on just a mattress he’d be content like that as well.

In the morning, the actual morning of about 7:45 am, Logan found a Virgil sleeping next to him. He sighed dreamily, then remembered that he still hadn’t thrown out his god damn drafts yet. Logan tried to move as subtly and quietly as possible to not wake Virgil. He eventually got out of  bed and moved the plastic bin under his desk quickly as he heard Virgil shuffling on the bed. Then he went back over his bed, kissing Virgil’s forehead.

“Virge? C’mon, it’s almost 8 o’ clock,” Logan said, looking at his watch. Virgil was awake, but he kept his eyes closed as he replied,”I don’t wanna.”

“Patton’s making french toast.” “5 more minutes.”

“We both know that means 5 more hours, metaphorically and even literally at times.”

“Shush, nerd.” Virgil eventually opened his eyes and got up, his hair messy and partially standing. Logan smirked at the other’s appearance, holding out his hand for Virgil to take. So Virgil takes it gladly and they move on with the rest of their day.

Logan had barely any opportunities to work on his card but while there was a short lull he managed to write a few more lines. “You’re nothing short of breath taking. A star should be named after you. No, a galaxy.”

He stopped as he felt a presence in his room. It was Patton. Oh thank god. They both headed off to the commons to discuss with the other two about the big day tomorrow.

“What are you two doing?” Roman asked Virgil and Logan. They both shrugged, but Logan of course, had a small gift to finish.

“Why are you asking?” Virgil replied. “What are you doing, Princey?” Roman was about to respond when he was suddenly tackled by Patton on the couch, letting out a boisterous laugh.

“Well of course, romantic things! Anyways, I thought you’d both at least say something like spending time with each other.” He continued as Patton got off and sat next to him, a wide grin on his face.

“Well that’s a given, isn’t it?” That was Logan, who quirked a brow.

Virgil shrugged. “Sure. We can just chill out here since Romano and Patton are probably going to the fantasy realm or whatever.”

Logan nodded as Roman scoffed at the seemingly mundane idea. He said it was such a boring thing to do on Valentine’s Day, but Virgil didn’t mind.

They all went off to do their jobs and then night time came around again.

Logan was rushing through his notes after playing a game of 52 pickup with his slang vocab cards which he foolishly dropped while hurrying back to his room. He closed his binder with satisfaction after looking at the schedule, putting it away in a separate drawer from the card, which he took back out of its hiding place. He was clueless as to what to add. It had barely any stanzas. Logan tapped his pencil against the table, making a fast paced clicking noise.

“Ughhh!” The logical facet sighed, his mind totally blank. “I should have gotten more hours of sleep.” He looked at his watch: 10:40 pm. He could still finish it by tomorrow. Logan, although, was holding his head up with his forearms, consciousness blinking on and off. He decided, if anything, to add just one more line he could think of. Everything else was decorated and he could finish it after taking a quick nap. He wrote it down slowly due to fatigue, but still tried his best to make it look neat.

“I love--”

Then somehow passed out while writing with a pen. Though, Thomas used to do that at times so was it really that surprising? He was out cold for a while and even slept past 8 am.

“Logan?” Virgil called, noticing Logan’s absence in the morning from the commons. Then Virgil finally found his boyfriend’s head resting on his desk with a nicely decorated card next to his right arm. He noticed the still full trash can of paper and then picked up the card. He didn’t read the inside yet, wanting to see the other things first. He noticed the equation “I love you” message first and chuckled at such a nerdy detail. Then he found the density formula on the back and smirked. How had he been so blessed as to have had such a caring nerd in his life?

Virgil finally opened the card to see the partially unfinished poem on the left flap and a nicely written closing on the right. He saw his name, so this must’ve been for him.

“I guess he didn’t finish…” Virgil concluded out loud to himself, but he really wanted to read the poem. Logan had written him previous poems and he absolutely loved them. So he read it aloud, mumbling the words under his breath.

“I don’t believe I’ll be able to explain my love towards you. Like how it is a mystery as to the true way the universe was created despite the many theories. How the chances of us existing together may have been smaller than a quark, But we managed to exist and come together. Your mind can be as far away as a galaxy,

but I’d travel the light years. You’re a fundamental element in my life, Like gravity to planets and stars. I am and always will be unable to express how much I care for you. You’re nothing short of breathtaking. A star should be named after you. No a nebula. I love…”

Logan had woken up as Virgil was reading the second to last stanza, although wasn’t completely aware of his surroundings yet.

“Morning, dear,” Logan greeted with a yawn, adjusting his glasses and hair as much as he could. He was calm and tired until he saw what Virgil had in his hand and then he was fully awake in an instant.

“I… did you read that?” Virgil nodded slowly, hoping the logical facet wasn’t upset. They sat in silence for a few moments before Virgil, surprisingly, broke the silence.

“Um… I really liked it, actually. Really.” He gave a genuine smile, moving to plant a kiss on Logan’s messy hair.

“Really?” “Yes, I did.” “It’s not even finished or--” Logan almost tripped over his own feet trying to sit up from the chair. It was way too early for this. (It was almost 1 pm).

Virgil laughed as Logan struggled to stand up and move, eventually falling onto his bed face first before slowly turning himself around and sitting up. Virgil made his way over to the bed too with much less stumbling, sitting down next to Logan.

“I assume this-” Virgil pointed at the word “love” at the end of the poem. “-is supposed to say ‘I love you’, right?”

Logan looked at Virgil deliriously for a few seconds before practically diving forward and kissing him. Virgil almost let go of the card, but held on and melted into the kiss, smiling as he did so. Then they both fell backwards onto the bed in suppressed giggles.

“I’ve never seen you this giddy,” Virgil commented teasingly.

Logan pointed an index finger straight up as in an objection. “In my defense, I’m very tired.” They both broke into laughter again. After a few minutes of Logan waking up, he had Virgil give him the card to finish writing out “you” and then gave it back.

“I love it, Logan.” He looked at the now fully visible trash can of drafts. “Man… I wish I made something.”

“It’s okay Virgil, you yourself are enough,” Logan replied, pecking Virgil on the forehead who look assured enough for now.

They eventually made their way downstairs, Virgil still latching onto the card, and had their first Valentine’s Day. It consisted of Virgil constantly complimenting Logan’s card and poem, making him blush, and Logan constantly saying how amazing Virgil is, making him blush as well. They cuddled on the couch and watched a few documentaries about space and other oddities.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, dear.” Logan presses a kiss to Virgil’s lips for the millionth time today.

Virgil smiles into it and responds,”Happy Valentine’s Day, nerd.”

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Angst + Excerpts | Doing the Write Thing #66

So I’m going to start this update off by saying I’m really sorry for being so absent on here as of late, and most importantly, missing two weeks of DtWT posts.

Writing has not been going so well, to be honest, lol. I’ve been hit with a serious case of writer’s block, and it’s been quite the struggle to get past it. Writer’s block is something that I usually just have to tough out because for me, it’s not based off fear or lack of ideas, it’s based off simply not being able to write. I’ll give you some good news, though! Even though I haven't updated you guys, I have still been hitting my goal of 250 words (or close to there) pretty much every day. I’d like to chat about writer’s block at some point because I know it’s controversial for some!

In conclusion, I’ve been struggling to write and get into the swing of things and get past this beginning for the entirety of November, pretty much, and I think I finally sort of made some progress.

Before I get into this update, though, quick thanks to @sarahkelsiwrites​ for being a literal star and hearing the worst of this creative block, and for brainstorming with me and listening to me and for being really supportive for the last while. Aaaand, also to @shaelinwrites​ because bless that new Pereidolia update for giving me all the writing inspiration, seriously needed that! (seriously would not have written anything today without it lolol)

Cool beans.

Daily word count goal: 250

Words written: 786

Total word count: 11 929

(jumped like 5k since the last update ok)

Total page count: 21

Songs played: No songs, but can we sit down and chat for a second, lol. In my last update, I mentioned Music From Before the Storm which is Daughter’s latest album. This album is the soundtrack to the second game in this series, Life Is Strange and lol. Did I find a gem right here. I found out about Life Is Strange a really long time ago, but only decided to pick up the second one (Before The Storm) because Daughter wrote its soundtrack and I loved the album so much. WHAT A GEM. I’m not a video game person anymore :( but this game is so excellent, what a recommend. I played game 2 before 1 because I wasn't sure if I’d like it and that’s the one with the Daughter soundtrack, and also because it’s a prequel. Beat that in like 3 days (except for episode three which is yet to be released), and now @sarahkelsiwrites​ and I are working on episode two of the first game. Mentioning this here a) because this album is great and b) because this game is also great and gave me hope to cling onto when I was an existential ball of angst.

Things to know: A lot of this scene came out of literally nowhere? I wasn't expecting the words I wrote, to say the least. I actually wrote the first 200 words of this scene a couple days ago, didn't like it, angsted about it for a bit, changed a couple things, and voila now there is no reason to angst.

How I felt: Scared that my writing would fail at any moment of any second because I’m not used to things working out so well for such an extended period of time, haaaaaa angst.

Bad haiku to describe writing session: I angst when writing / Too often I am angsty / Gotta angst it up

this one is my favourite

Rating of writing session out of 10 and why: like an 8 because I wrote something? which counts.

On a scale from 1-10 my level of stoked-ness is: Maybe a 7.5

Lyrics to describe writing session: And as the days go by / Oh I'm afraid of when / I fall in and out of love / With someone new again

--In and Out of Love, Current Joys (Me Oh My Mirror)

perfect for the way I feel write nowwwww angsssttttt

GIF to describe writing session:

*tryin not to drown in yo problems be like*

Excerpt:

I’m going to do a really spontaneous thing and just share some things that need some editing loool:

His breaths are heavy, panting, but he’s looking straight at me, eyes bleak and tired, but wild and scattered. He is exhausted, yet turbulent. Like the polymorphic combination of two opposite elements.  

does polymorphic work in this context idk definitely probably used that word wrong lol

Like mine, her hair has grown out considerably since the last time she hacked at it with scissors. But instead of falling past her shoulders in a few chunks here and there, it puffs up around her head like a cloud of static chaos. Her skin looks like mine too, pale and marked with exhausted fingerprints, but with the addition of a scratch across her cheek and the haggard stamp of a palm against her jaw. She, like the boy next to her is exhausted, yet turbulent, but there isn’t anything poetic about the delirious flicker in her eye.

I meaaannnn besides that wordiness I meaaaannn I guess I sorta get that point (I wrote these last week I believe).

Harrison’s got both arms secured around her waist, fingers stamped deep into the fabric of her t-shirt. His head is tipped down so his chin meets her forehead, the two eased into one another like they’ve always meant to combine. Her hands crawl up from under his arms, and hug onto his shoulders, rather than slinging around his neck like my mom used to do to my dad. Her head rests against his chest, and the two sway back and forth as a song that sounds straight from the 60s waltzes through the speakers.

boiiiiiii get it while it lastsssss

I like that the music is waltzing through the speakers I will give myself that.

I would say I don’t know what happened to Harrison, what happened to his ability to forgive, but I do. I happened, Lonan happened, Foster happened, he happened. Everything, like a collective flood of hate strode up to him, and when someone walks into the eye of a storm like that, it’s almost impossible to emerge unscathed.

s c a t h e

It wasn’t much. Just a few frames of gold and blur, where her fingers brushed back my hair, and her knee supported my neck. She sung a few notes of a tune her and Dad used to listen to, pulled the comb through the length of my hair. I can’t tell if the dream with my mother was a memory or the desire for one, but when I woke up, there was this ache for her that for once, didn’t feel like a bullet to the chest. I woke up feeling like I’d actually slept, and not like my bones had taken advantage of me through the night in some sick game of trauma.

can I actually describe things as blur tho is that an appropriate adjective... my life is angst and blur. yes.

So yes. These paragraphs all require editing and are literally unedited first drafts, so hopefully by the time I edit, I can tighten up some of these ideas. Editing and this book have been really strange for me because I’ve needed tons of time away from the scene to be able to really sit down and fix it up... Not entirely what I go for in writing/editing, but for now, while I’m working really slowly, I guess it’s working alright!

I hope you enjoyed this update and also reading those unedited (TM) excerpts, lol. I hopefully will get back to you guys ASAP. :)

--Rachel

[deekssteve911]

Classic Performance Engineering - shifting up a gear ...

It’s been a while since the last blog; that’s for sure. So much has happened, where to start? Well, let’s deal with the facts: we’ve lost 2019 from a racing perspective. And this is how it happened ...

Cue early 2019 - Haz, Mandela and I set sail for Belgium to collect and shakedown the ‘SC’. The Viking invested hundreds and hundreds of hours throughout 2018 building her, and I sunk in, (further), tens of thousands of ££, between us we imagined, (prayed), we would have a weapon with which to attack the front end of the ‘70′s Roadsports grid. Despite our best efforts, we were wrong.

Zolder’s historic Grand Prix circuit in Belgium was the venue for the 'SC’ to break cover - with an ambitious plan to test at Donington Park on RMA’s test day the day after. That would be quite a schedule, even for a professional ‘works’ team. For us it was a continent too far.

We were on the back foot from the moment we arrived, due to my kamikaze planning when it came to ferry schedules; it was a sleepy ‘Drakar Kapp’ squad who loaded the car on the morning of the Zolder test, and the late start inspired us to shoot for just the, (very expensive), PM test session.

The car ran, but, understandably, this was it’s first time bursting into life since the rebuild - there were issues. Brakes, gears, misfire - to summarise. The track is very fast, and ‘old school’ impressive - not that I really learnt it, I had my hands full of shaking down the 9-1-1. And I didn't do an especially great job.

From a driving perspective, I could’ve displayed more intelligence - the Viking instructed me, (strictly), to ‘take it steady’ - and for reason’s better known to anyone but me, I didn't. On the very first lap out I couldn't get the car slowed down enough - or get the correct gear hooked up for the chicane, and, unbelievably, I was rotating. Genius. And I did it several more times during the ten laps or so we ran. I probably don't have the intelligence to be a racing driver. As I was slewing backwards, I certainly began to ponder that possibility...

It was damn tricky - the brake pedal was rock hard, but with zero feel until the brakes locked, (the recommended master cylinder - calliper ratio was suspect), plus gears refused to select cleanly, the ‘loaded’ gate would attempt to engage 2nd from 5th, instead of 4th, and the car gradually spluttered to a stop, (unbeknown to us, the brand new fuel pump was failing). All normal-ish things that happen when you’ve just fully rebuilt a car from scratch. But when she did run ... the ‘SC’ felt pretty racey - very impressive.

Dwell on the positives - the fact the ‘SC’ ran AT ALL - and the balance from the chassis with the ‘KW’ suspension, it felt ‘tight’, and well sorted - straight out of the box. Experience - and subsequent brainstorming - now suggested we needed a dyno-run before the first track outing - expecting the 911 to run cleanly with zero issues was, singularly, unrealistic. Lesson learnt.

In the end, the fuel pump finished us completely for the day - the Viking valiantly went on a mission to find one and fit it, to keep us on course for the Donington test the day after. About 3.30-4 this was replaced, and the team loaded and made fast tracks for the 10PM Calais ferry. Which we subsequently missed ...

Night drive from the port was hard going, and a, by now, grizzled - and sleep-deprived - team assembled in the AM for the ‘sprint’ up to Donington Park. Once again, we managed ten or so laps before the misfire ended play, tho’ the impact of the brake and gear issues meant I SHOULD really have parked the car after Zolder. It’s never a good move to let your hunger to drive overrule the engineering realities. Nevertheless the couple of occasions when I did manage to select 4th for the Old Hairpin showed a glimpse of what this race car can be in the future - damn fast.

It’s taken me a while to take this reality check - I’m not planning on even entering another race until this car is fully sorted and lapping competitively, it’s the way I would’ve done it during my ‘modern’ career, and its the way I’m going to do it going forward in my ‘classic’ ‘career’, (sic). I owe this to the Viking, my team and myself. 

Exhausted, to a man, we trailered the car to its new home at ‘Classic Performance Engineering’ where it - and I - have lived ever since.

But that is only part of the 2019 story. We don't give up that easy ...

To address the gearbox issues, we elected to source a ‘new’ SC gearbox - not, these days, an easy thing to do. Firstly there aren't any, and secondly the few that are out there, now cost a fortune. Thousands. For a crappy converted VW beetle box. That is ‘classic’ racing for you. We honed in on one in Belgium, I paid, and Stef., pulled out all the stops, fettled it, and brought it to England the day before a planned Silverstone test day. And this is where our season kind of unravelled for the second time. In splitting the engine and box, we drained the oil into a pan at ‘CPE’, and our collective blood ran cold. Pearlescent oil. Not good - disastrous, in-fact. We had reassembled and run the fresh engine for 20 laps with the same oil coolers and lines that had been fitted when the motor had suffered that catastrophic blow up in 2017. It simply hadn't occurred to us in the maelstrom of trying to get the car finished - that is the truth of our current situation. We took the crime scene evidence into CPE’s engine shop for the CPE ‘engine-meister’ ‘Mick’ to practice CPR on the oil filter. It was filled with shrapnel. Game’s up boys - she has to come apart again.

No Silverstone test, no money left to rebuild, no immediate prospects of anything. The drive back to Heathrow to drop the Viking off was long and hard, to find a future - or humour - in all of this was difficult, to say the least. But we will.

Classic Performance Engineering had been brilliant up to this point with their unstinting support, but here we moved the relationship up a gear. I stepped in to host the ‘Sunday Scrambles’, and CPE transported the motor back to Stef. in Belgium.

Which is where it has been ever since, the long-suffering Viking has steadily been going through the rebuild process - again - and I have been earning the ££ to pay for the parts. And now the engine is ready to be collected and returned to the race team shop, CPE are going to step in and fit it, and our team plan is to get out testing before the 2019 season comes to a close. In preparation for the season of our racing lives, 2020.

From a ‘working’ point of view, after a slow start, it has actually turned into an epic year for me - take the racing tour out of the equation and I have no complaints. I’ve been training the Nissan Nismo Performance dealers in the art of the 2019 GT-R, delivering ‘Present to Win’ for the Henry Ford Academy, then  Master Trainer for the new Nissan Juke launch, presenting the Goodwood Member’s Meeting for Woodham Mortimer, the Silverstone F1 Grand Prix for Corinthian Sports and the Silverstone Classic for Goose. Brilliant shows and projects. But I want to race, that is why I work. To race.

Back to the HSCC schedule - we do have, of course, the ‘longblock’ engine, Well ... ‘did’ ... in the true spirit of this programme so far, the guy who sold it to me turned out to be just another conman - we sent the engine to my friend Phil Hindley’s crack ‘Tech9′ team to be stripped - and it is shite, scrap. It would never have run. Bastard. Karma will catch up with you.

It is interesting to me - I managed seventeen years of ‘modern’ racing pretty much without once been taken for a ride - in classic racing so far, I’ve experienced little else. Well, that is until I met Stef. the Viking, and Classic Performance Engineering, my luck’s just changed - and massively for the better.

CPE are the team I would’ve like to have assembled myself; fantastic guys, professional, knowledgable - and very helpful. They are the next part of this story - without the Viking, we wouldn't have got this far. Stef. and I have to work with people of this quality - and that is exactly what we are going to do moving forward.

In-fact, it is THE ONLY way forward - after five/six years of attempting to get the project finished, and ‘race-ready’, it’s now time to move things up a gear.

Lots of decisions to take, lot’s of money to find for 2020 - but it’s crystal clear to me now. It has to happen in 2020. That is MY key decision. I have to firmly ‘time limit’ this programme, for all kinds of reasons - principally I will never again be as fit and hungry again as I am today. That’s just physiology. 

Plus, none of us know how long we have left on the planet.

That is purely reality - and I know it.

2020 - you are my year.

[wiinterrose]

          ( xavier serrano , cis male , he / him, 23 ) no way ! i swear i saw 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐋 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒 walking down danforth avenue ! i just saw a post about them on 6secrets ! i think it said something like “𝐌𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐘 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄 𝐀𝐓 𝟓 𝐀𝐌 : 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐄𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 ?”. isn’t that wild ? i guess that makes sense since they’re apparently 𝐃𝐔𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐒 and 𝐂𝐔𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆. fans will claim that they’re 𝐎𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂 and 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐂.  i mean , it’s not like i know them personally — they’re a famous 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐃𝐀𝐍����𝐄𝐑 / 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐁𝐄𝐑. whenever i think of them, i think of 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐓-𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐒, 𝐔𝐍𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐘 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒, & 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐋𝐈𝐓 𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒. i wish i would have asked for an autograph ! ( oliver, they / them, 22, est ).

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

— mikey was born and raised in winnipeg because i think it’s funny when characters are from winnipeg. if you’re from winnipeg i’m so sorry. definitely was born on the coldest day of that year ( so like some point in january )

— but because of those long, cold harsh winters, mikey found himself in a dance studio a lot. his aunt was a dance teacher and with rather absent parents who meant well but both had long hours at the local hospital, he spent a lot of time with her. he fell in love with dance pretty early on, always having a certain fluidity and grace even when he was young.

— random but he also played hockey up until he was like 16 or whatever because he’s canadian and i’m not stupid. it happened. he can still skate tho. in a slightly different life he probably would have been a pretty good figure skater huh 🤔🤔🤔 but anyway...

— also feel like it makes sense that he did gymnastics. and trained in classical ballet.

— he went to university of toronto for college, studying kinesology and dance, and danced at one of the prestigious studios in the city.

— his big break moment was when in his sophomore year at ut, he made it onto the second season of world of dance in early 2017 ( lets pretend that show has been on longer than it has bc i don’t want it to be the first season of it sldk ). he made it all the way to the finals and quickly become a fan favorite along the way. though he ultimately placed second and missed out on the million dollars, that was the beginning of many doors opening for him. ( for those who, might have the vaguest clue what i’m talking about : i’m highkey feeling like, michael dameski style which is an idea i had after i named him michael so don’t @ me for him having the same first name ).

— millions watched that show, including some prominent agents and scouts who were able to help him launch a professional dance career : something he never thought he’d see himself actually doing. his first big gig was making the dance team for some singer’s north american tour, and he ended up not returning to ut to pursue a professional dance career full time. since then he’s danced in a few music videos for some uber famous musican ( same one he went on tour with or not idk ?? also a wc ?? maybe ?? ), a tv show, couple movies, and other various gigs around the city. he works part time at a studio when he has time, and has been honing his choreography skills as well.

— he makes enough dancing, but certainly not enough to make him RICH. no, that come from an impromptu vlog he did while on tour with aforementioned singer. having already garnered a following from world of dance, he soon rose to youtube fame as well, something he never could have predicted. i feel like his videos are very just, day in a life with various random athletic challenges mixed in, and various workout and flexibility tips. he also still does pieces and duets with other prominent dancers just for fun too. his natural charisma and attitude really just carries him through easily lmao.

— mikey developed a bit of a habit of sleeping around when he left for college, all the newfound freedom was just intoxicating and well. he was hot so. it wasn’t like it was hard alsdkjf. that stuck around well into his blossoming dance career. nothing that was enough to be scandalous, but he made his way around. and then a year and a half into this unforeseen new life, he met matthew glass.

— he’d had a couple serious relationships before, one in high school, one his freshman year of college but neither of them could hold a flame to what he felt when he was with matt. perfection wasn’t something mikey believed in, but he almost did with what they had.

— it was like for over a year and a half he lived in this insane dream, and then mikey and matt broke up and he was devastated ( behind closed doors and with curtains pulled tightly shut ).

— he then proceeded to broadcast how perfectly fine he was doing by going back to his old ways and sleeping around obsessively, this time with very little regard as to how many headlines he was making. as far as coping mechanisms go, i guess sex is better than alcohol ?? not to say he wasn’t also drunk at times l o l.

𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂

— mikey gets around. has definitely been trying to forget matty with other warm bodies but honestly it’s not working

— very bi. very much does not care. if the world didn’t know he was before, it definitely does now lmao. he hasn’t come out in the sense he’s like posted a video about it and said “i’m bisexual” but it’s pretty obvious from the media and maybe he has gotten asked in interviews and has just shrugged and been like does it matter ?? i’m sorry he’s not the vocal bi ally we need. perhaps we will work on that.

— hasn’t dated anyone since matt bc he’s highkey lowkey still hung up on him but no one needs to know that right. outwardly, he’s very much the same : seemingly happy, but he’s a lot more careful with his heart and letting people close to him. if anything he’s become a bit of a two-way mirror, always seeing out but never really letting people see in, just what they want to see.

— probably goes without saying but extremely flexible. idk if any of you know who juuse saros is but apparently he can twerk in a split and i’m not saying mikey can but like. he just might be able to...

— straight up does not get cold. never wears more than a hoodie, probably danced shirtless in the middle of winter just fine. at least being from winnipeg is good for one ( 1 ) thing.

— i feel like people call him flower. idk guys. maybe im just thinking too much abt hockey goalies.

— always posting on instagram stories. u kno the type.

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

— he tends to be extremely underestimated as he comes across a bit dumb and generally has a pretty positive outlook on life which people confuse for him being naive when that isn’t the case. but he’s found he can use that it his advantage and that sometimes, people will tell him things they think he can’t understand but he hears and remembers everything. it’s helped him out of a few difficult situations before.

— i feel like he has a bit of ethan dolan’s personality & dumbass energy idk guys...

— live in the moment kind of dude. his motto is probably like : you just gotta know what you want to do next. i mean looking back on his life it’s been pretty crazy and that’s only solidified his outlook that like, you really can’t control too much. just let it go where it takes you.

— people do like him though and they like talking to him for whatever reason. generally has pretty trustworthy vibes but he’s more slippery than he comes across. he’s a selfish person at heart and always has his own best interests in mind, even if it doesn’t seem that way at first.

— extroverted. i think ??

𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄

— 6′1″. chocolate brown eyes. curly brown hair. he has a lithe but extremely fit build due to his career. his core strength is especially impressive.

— he has a monochromatic lineart tattoo of a rose on his left forearm / wrist and a butterfly ( again monochromatic & just lineart ) on his right shoulder. small scar at the base of his neck by his ear from an unfortunate hockey accident.

— needs glasses but usually only wears contacts unless he’s in his apartment late at night.

— he’s not overly fashionable, going more for comfort than how he generally looks. on a regular day, he’s probably got the whole... college athlete look going if you know what i mean. a big fan of mirrored aviator sunglasses. wouldn’t know what dressing up meant even if it slapped him in the face.

— PINTEREST BOARD

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

first and foremost i want to say that i like to vibe and brainstorm with people to come up with unique connections between our characters but here are a few ideas :

— ( f ) a close friend he has had on his channel a few times and fans passionately ship them but they’re really just good friends. maybe they play into the drama a few times as well tho. — the singer whose tour he danced on — singer whose music videos he’s been in — mayhaps even actors for that tv show / movie he was in ( v small role but whatevs. maybe they just Vibed yknow ) — flirtationship 😔 — always ye ol good hookup l o l — we keep running into each other idk maybe we should talk ??

TAKEN CONNECTIONS PAGE HERE

𝐎𝐎𝐂

         hey guys, i’m ollie. my intros are either written really eloquently or a big mess bc im trying to rub together a couple braincells at 1 am and whatever comes out, comes out. no need to guess which category this one falls into lmAO. anyway, i’m a slow plotter bc i’m easily overwhelmed trying to do too many things at once but i swear i will try to get to as many people as i can. and yeah this entire character is inspired by my love of world of dance don’t @ me... if u made it all the way down here u should watch this bc 😳 & mikey has the same athleticism and strength.

[amariemelody]

How I Write

So I was tagged a while ago by my darling @indi-flying-with-dragons for the How I Write Series created by @lizard-is-writing, which is basically just a few awesome questions about your writing process. So! Here we go (and sorry this is so late, sweetie). 

It’s kinda long, tho:

Q: Is there a snack you like to eat while writing?

Yes! I’m a big believer in satisfying the munchies-especially when you’re using Mega Brain Power in an activity like writing. I’ll snack on just about anything from popcorn and cereal to fruit bowls and ice cream. 

My main go-to snack, though, is a nice, hot cup of tea. I’ve become an avid tea drinker in recent years and I love all sorts of flavors like jasmine green tea (good for calming nerves when I got a lotta work), plain green tea, English Breakfast, lemon ginger, Constant Comment, etc. 

And just every now and then coffee is good, too. There’s just...something about a nice, hot beverage that helps get me in the mood for writing, y’know? ‘Tis wonderful. 

Q: What time of day do you usually write?

Any time of day that’s not in the afternoon. Early mornings & night time are the best times for sure-my fingers just go flying across the keyboard.

 Q: Where do you write?

Oftentimes right here, at my desk, on my desktop computer in my bedroom! But I was recently gifted a tablet for Christmas (yes, my broke ass self still cries about that), and so sometimes I’ll take my tablet and write with it on the dining room table if I feel I need a change of scenery. 

Q: How often do you write a new thing?

Every couple of months or so! I try to be careful because I have this racing and whirling imagination that’s like a wild horse, and so all kinds of new stories, scenes, dialogues, etc. randomly come to me. 

So I’ve since learned to force myself to wait, be patient, and see if any one of those ideas really sticks with me. And if it does, then I’ll make a little document or folder for it on my Spidey jumpdrive with a few notes. This way, the actual work I create won’t be a chaotic mess that mostly never sees the light of day. 

Q: Do you listen to music while you write?

Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Music is the soul. Music is the heart. Music is the mind. 

Music is everything.

I do admit that I’m pretty predictable in what type of music I listen to according to what I’m writing at the time. For example, if I’m writing romance (which is mostly what I write and read; I am a self-professed romance sap), then I’m listening to a lot of [old school] R&B and pop like Boyz 2 Men, Jodeci, Usher, Beyoncé, etc. Mostly Boyz 2 Men, tho-they the realest. 

If I’m writing a tense, epic fight scene, then I have a whole playlist of instrumental music that does in fact include Thomas Bergersen and Two Steps From Hell. That same playlist serves me well when I need to get into the mood for a sad scene. 

Other times, if I’m writing something that doesn’t require a lot of emotional labor for me (though it still could be romantic and/or sad!), I’m pretty free to listen to whatever I want because I already have that particular scene’s mood, tone, & direction down. 

And there are still other times when I can’t listen to music because I’m writing an intense dialogue scene that must be just right. So I need to take my headphones out so that I can “hear” the characters speaking. 

Q: Paper or laptop?

Laptop. Hands down. I must be able to type as fast as I think. I must. Also, hand cramps & I don’t get along well. 

Q: Do you have a special pre-writing ritual?

Yes, and...no. It really just depends on what I’m about to write, my own current mood & thoughts, and what I need to do in those moments to get comfortable. And then it depends on what I need to do to get comfortable so that I can abide by my motto: Sit down, focus, concentrate, dedicate. 

But if I did have to say I have a ritual, I guess it’s pretty predictable. For example, if I haven’t already, then a shower and a good, hearty meal is in order. Listening to the particular music that I need is a big bonus that helps a lot. Simply putting on my tea kettle and watching the steam & vapor as it heats the water puts me into high gear. Making sure that, if I need it, I have background noise along with the music I listen to (Yes, that means sometimes I’ll turn on a particular movie just to know it’s playing in the background even while I have headphones in. Haha...hah.) 

Q: What do you do to get into the writing?

I re-read whatever part of my work that I need to! Sometimes just a scene or two or a whole chapter! Again, music is my darling love from above. 

If I’m feeling really reluctant to write, then I tell myself, “Hey, you’ll feel loads better if you do! Just put your jump drive in and you’ll feel accomplished and proud of yourself. You really will!” 

...And I do. I always do feel wonderfully happy and industrious when I put a good dent or two in my writing! So I always know that that feeling of satisfaction is on the other end of my writing, and thus that really helps me get into it. 

Q: Do you have a reward system for word counts?

Naw, just watching my word count skyrocket & feeling that satisfaction is more than enough. 

Now, sometimes I’ll bargain with myself like, “If you get to 5K, you can play Sims!” But the problem with that is that, by the time I’ve met that 5K goal...I’m so in deep that I just wanna keep writing and so I do, LOL! 

Q: Is there anything else about your writing process your readers don’t know?

Oh god, I hope I don’t get judged...

I am super-duper-duper-duper-duper organized. My wittle Spidey jump drive is its own city of meticulously-labeled files and folders for each of my works. 

If a particular work is so big for me that it requires its own folder, then I organize the folder with individual documents like these: 

- [Actual] Chapters: Where the bulk of my work is. If my work is going to be multi-chapter, then each chapter gets its own, separate document. 

-Scenes: These simply randomly pop into my head. I find this part of my folder to be especially useful because, again, my imagination runs like a wild freakin’ horse. Even if I may worry that a scene is silly, won’t work, etc., I still usually go ahead and at least sketch a script-like skeleton of it with plenty of notes so that I know where it came from in my head, where it’s going, and where, if I can guess, I think it’ll best be placed in my work. 

-Research links: Oohh, I love that my Tumblr dash has actually randomly presented to me links that I can use. Just about anything that I think will be relevant to the story, I’ll keep. I’ll also put a little description in parenthesis next to it, so that I know just what it talks about, what I think I’ll be able to use it for, and sometimes even if I think it’ll be most useful or not. 

In addition to the little descriptions, I also organize my links according to their subjects. For example, if I did a mermaid story, one section could be labeled “All about Whales”, another could be “How real-life aquatic tails work!” and another could be “Possible Mermaid Anatomy Diffs.” 

It makes such a breeze & a snap when I come across a point in my writing where I’ll need a link. Just pull the document up, scroll through to the section I need, click the link, and voila! 

-Notes/Random Brainstorming Ideas/Correspondence w/Friends: I typically just put, in bold, whatever notes I need in its corresponding chapter, next to the paragraphs, sentences, transitions, etc. that it belongs with. But if I just need huge, arching notes for the entire work, then that’s what this document is for. And of course, having a place where I remember where I talked to friends for help is always inspiring & comforting when I’m not so confident in my writing. 

Well, then! That was a lot! Thanks so much if you got all the way to the end of that, and it’s totally alright if you didn’t! Happy June, everybody! :D 

I tag @afro-elf, @lunaaltare, @spartanlady16, @the-omniscient-narrator, @zetsubonna, @redsixwing, @platonicharmonics and anyone else that wants to share! 

[makesureee]

1-30 ty~

omg no thank yOU ogm ur so swe e t im sorry if i’m not able to answer all of them cause my memory is an actual pile of shit and my favourite songs are constantly changing but so HERE SO WE GO

*viewer discretion is advised because this user is annoying as shit on adderall*

 1. what album do you feel best describes your mood?at the moment, i am like, OBSESSED with the album “my bad” by Good Dog. like. i relate to EVERY. WORD. EVERY. SONG. in that album. i just. i cant cant cant nope.

  2. if your name had to be a song title which song would it be?“Oh.” ~courtesy of Good Dog

  3. what is your go to sad song when you need to cry?i don’t have a go-to sad song. i don’t cry that much anymore either. like, my pain is like, background noise that bubbles to the surface for a second (and on the rare occasion explodes) but usually like literally 2 seconds later im like im good whats up lol. as far as the last song i had a good ass cry to…..i think it might have been A Song For the Late Night People by Kate Micucci. literally not sure tho

  4. what band would you want as the rest of your superhero team?the FUKIN FRONT BOTTOMS

  5. if you had to live in the world of an album which one would it be and why?i think this question is asking which one album i would want to listen to for the rest of my life? to that, my answer is, fuck you my good sir(in middle school and freshman year of high school my ipod had one album on it. one. on repeat. for years. i literally knew the SHUFFLE by heart that shit was miserable and i do not want to listen to those songs anymore)

  6. what song best describes the person you think your soulmate would be?i don’t believe in soul mates, but as far as a compatible partner goes (based off of my most recent song obsessions) i would choose Scarred Pinkies by Walter Mitty and His Makeshift Orchestra. i’ll just drop a few lines riiiiiight here damn this post is gonna be long.“Ah, here lies all hope of being normal, all chance of an epic fate,bussing tables in Lake Tahoe, eating scraps off stranger’s plates.Ah won’t you cure me? Take me to your bug out location off the grid.I’ll tell you how I scarred my pinkies,and we’ll await Armageddon,or take a long nap.Then teach me to write well,and clean my lungs.Watch the love of my life sewing dresses on fireflies.Go and get me some real drugs to paint my blood,All while the thighs of women have lost their church,and the hands of men are shaking in the search.”“straight to hell, might as well clock out now and rail that cinnamon.”“The cops knocked, someone soon might let them in.They’ll find our strawberry cough. They’ll find the secret voice that shepherds towards the droughts in our thoughts until it snows, listen i know you know this,i’m losing it.”sry i posted like, all the lines in the song i relate to in regards of a romantic partner. but basically, in this moment i want a girlfriend i can do a lot of drugs with and shit (permitting they’re not into harder shit than i am), but i have so many problems with drugs that i’d also want that person to help me but also no. idk. in the long term i’d like someone who can help me heal from this shit but in the short term, i want to experience the romance of doing drugs with someone because i haven’t experienced much of life at all

  7. create a poem out of song titles.far away, aimless, (johnny goth/johnny goth)i have no idea what is going on. (sweatertooth)the kids on the bus with their heads against the windows, (movies)straight kids playing dress up, (the official suckers)and a body washed ashore. (johnny goth)face down, share the blame. (sweatertooth/the official suckers)no choice. (major persuit)fine, thanks. (walter mitty and his makeshift orchestra)wow that one was depressing and political lolol i just went with the flow

  8. which album art would you get tattooed?a question i dont have to write a paragraph for cause i already know the answer!!! the knife on the front bottoms album cover for talon of the hawk. i don’t want it to be my first tat tho. still brainstorming.

  9. is there a song that you feel could have been written about you?BRUH I JUST CAME ACROSS A WHOLE ALBUM WRITTEN ABOUT ME SHIT. well, obviously it wasn’t written about me but i relate to e v e r y word fukin hELL. again it’s “my bad” by Good Dog. but i think the song i relate to the most off that album is “Oh.”

  10. if you could only speak in the song lyrics of one artist who would it be?walter mitty and his makeshift orchestra. his new album is one i also hella relate to. my previous obsession before Good Dog came out with their new album XD

  11. if you could have your favorite artist sing one of their songs to you which song would it be?well this one is just impossible. my favorite artist changes and my favorite song changes like every week like fuck

  12. describe where you want to be in ten years with a song title.booger storm by walter mittynah jk how bout Set Phasers To Fun; Alarm Clocks To One by sweatertooth. you know they only have one album but it’s chill af

  13. which song would be the national anthem of your country if you ruled one?attention class….please stand for the pledge of allegiance…….. COLT 45, 2 ZIG ZAGS, BABY THAT’S ALL WE NEED.WE CAN GO TO THE PARK AFTER DARK, SMOKE THAT TUMBLE WEED,AND AS THE MARIJUANA BURN WE CAN TAKE OUR TURN SINGIN THEM DIRTY RAP SONGS.STOP AND HIT THE BONG LIKE CHEECH AND CHONGAND SELL TAPES FROM HERE TO HONG KONG.SO ROLL, ROLL, ROLL MA JOINT. PICK OUT THE SEEDS AND STEMS!WE’RE HIGH AS HELL FLYIN THRU PALMDALE SKATIN ON DAYTON RIMS

  14. what is your go to happy song when you need to feel betteri never really go to songs to feel better but kimya dawson is really comforting. she’s like, my song mom. her music is like a warm hug until you get sad cause you’re alone and all your problems are still there

  15. is there an album that feels like a friend to you?yeah actually. Hard To Be Around by Lovers Turn To Monsters

  16. what is the album that you always blast too loud?usually all but ESP my drinking album XDD it’s called Too by FIDLAR. i dEF recommend a listen next time ur drinkin

  17. which album do you always listen to with headphones?i don’t use headphones in my house unless i’m so upset and relating to the music so hard that it needs to be as loud as possible. which again, most recently, has been “my bad” by Good Dog

  18. what song are you unable to resist dancing to?none of them. i do not dance, have never danced, and will never dance

  19. what song do you always have to sing along to?every song i know the lyrics to. im a singer. i cant…not….sing….

  20. what song do feel would be a beautiful painting?if i knew i woulda goddamn painted it XD i actually used to think that way about a specific old instrumental pink floyd song once but i can’t remember which one

  21. what album do you wish you could unhear and discover again?all of them!!!!! i love them so much but when i relate to music so hard i can’t stop listening to it and then its mundane and i have to go bandcamp hunting again

  22. which album do you want to be the soundtrack to your life?i don’t rly listen to positive music but as far as my life is going right now i’d say the soundtrack is Well Soon by Walter Mitty and his Makeshift Orchestra

  23. which band would you want to be your family?i can’t answer that because i do not know any of them personally XD

  24. what song do you think of in association with beauty?what

  25. what song do you think of in association with pain?like???? all of them???? i suck ????

  26. what lyrics do you feel were written especially for you.none specifically FOR me. i’m the writer :p i can write songs about/for people and i’m kinda jealous that i’m not on the other end cause idk who the fUCK i am. but as far as lyrics i’ve found that are mE on the dot:“I’m an artist. No, I fake it. I repeat myself all day.I tell the same sad storiesin the same pathetic way.When I’m sober I am boring, when I’m drunk I talk too much,When I’m stoned I finally like myself. I shouldn’t just becauseI’m a filthy fucking liar. I think I’m nice when I am not,And I only feel like I can talk when I am smoking pot.”“Oh.” by Good Dog

  27. what lyrics do you want to doodle on every piece of paper?none that sounds boring

  28. what music do you listen to at 3 am?the same music i listen to all throughout the day because i get fixated on music i relate to

  29. pick three albums to take with you into the afterlife.none because the afterlife doesn’t exist fools get wit tha program

  30. what is music to you in one word?music

like, do you even read this? like homie it’s so long i feel like i get charity asks but like, I DON’T MIND I LOVE ASKS but holy fuck i’m annoying and i would stop being so specific and rambley if people just told me to shut up