#for some reason i think about these kinds of things a lot
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vincent-marie · 2 days ago
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I keep bringing up Bernini as an example for good reason.
The guy *allegedly* hired someone to attack & mutilate his girlfriend cuz he thought she cheated on him & so he wanted "no one else to look upon her beauty." That's fucking vicious, & probably not the only legit awful thing he *allegedly* did.
Yet his sculptures are always praised for how beautiful they are, how he made marble look like skin, & how he depicted female subjects in the middle of an orgasm. His art is ALWAYS included in art history classes when talking about Renaissance art. Always.
How we cope with that knowledge, how we process or reconcile that reality is always gonna be on a person-to-person basis. Right now I think a lot of us are in some state of shock & grief & don't know how to handle it. And that's okay.
Social media expects us to make some kind of public statement this very second, but this is a lot to take in. We need to give ourselves & each other time while we process.
I just hope that friends & followers who were bigger fans of NG's work than me are holding up okay. I might've been more of a casual fan, but I still feel you on this.
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thewertsearch · 17 hours ago
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You make a cautious motion toward a beckoning EXIT KNOB, when suddenly THE SAME WILD CHARACTER-SELECT SCREEN REAPPROACHES NONTHREATENINGLY!
I think we've got to go with Jake, unless one of the blondes is secretly clickable this time around.
...nope, doesn't look like it. Back to English class, then!
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What was it you were up to? Oh right, you were going to pick these dang guns up off the floor when you were interrupted by some fleeting imperceptible thought. You kind of space out sometimes.
A reference to Jake's 'spacing out' feels like it could be a hint that he's the session's new Space Player. I guess he is living beside the Forge, but I still think there's currently more evidence for Doom.
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You pick up your TWIN M9 BERETTAS, weapons of choice in an absurd arsenal inherited from an eccentric old woman.
I could absolutely see Grandma Jade rocking the Sassacre Slayers. She is a skilled markswoman, after all, and we've seen her abilities in action a couple of times.
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You think your bed is some sort of electronic gadget. You're pretty sure those bedpost globes are supposed to glow like light bulbs under certain circumstances. But you've never been able to figure out what purpose it serves. Just more mysterious junk inherited from your eclectic GRANDMA.
No Dreambot for Jake, I take it. Guess that makes sense - that bot was Crockertech, and Grandma Jade didn't inherit the company like Grandpa Jake did.
He's still got an upgraded bed, though, so my guess is that Jade attempted the Dreambot project, but simply didn't have the resources to complete it.
She also gave you these bedsheets when you were very young, which you adore, but only for sentimental reasons.
It looks like the only lusi depicted on Jake's bedsheets are the twelve we're already familiar with. That catlike silhouette in the center-bottom is a slight question mark, but I think it's supposed to be a very skinny Pounce De Leon.
I was going to ask where Jade got a bedsheet which references the Alternian Players, but then I remembered that her adoptive mother was an Alternian Player. Jade probably swiped some of her things on the way out, the cheeky minx.
You aren't too keen on monsters.
Yeesh, the Medium's not going to be much fun for our boy.
You'd expect an adventure-lover to be a lot more enthusiastic about fighting monsters, but I guess we all have our phobias. At least he has a ranged weapon, so he won't have to get up close and personal with his Underlings.
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A lot of these posters are fairly transparent references to Lord English. The Mummy alludes to the weird sarcophagus he summoned in his Intermission, Weekend at Bernie's is about corpse-puppeting someone like he did with Scratch, and The Incredible Hulk explains itself.
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Special shout out to this poster, though, which I'm pretty sure is literally titled Time-Travelling Demon. Subtle!
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evesedenramblings · 2 days ago
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Despite what Damon Maitsu wants to think, he has been incredibly trusting and kind throughout the Killing Game thus far. His actions contradict a lot of his own inner thoughts. Even though he is often rude he’s also rather kind, and that’s important to recognize since he wants to believe he’s so de-attached from everyone.
I think the first thing that comes to mind is the first trial’s Pathos route, where Damon decides to defend Diana based on his gut feeling despite all the clear evidence- or, trusting Diana’s character to be true over his own deductions. The second thing is when he realizes his trust of Eva is built on nothing. What both of these things have in common is how mad Damon is about it. Damon doesn’t want to defend Diana, he gets incredibly mad at himself when he realizes he’s sympathetic to her crying and wants to trust in her. The same goes for Eva, but his trust is lost instead. Damon gets angry when he realizes the only reason he trusted Eva was because he fell into the “Us vs Them” mentality, and he automatically grouped Eva in with himself, but Eva didn’t do the same thing. At the core of the issue, Damon is mad because without even realizing it, he is a hypocrite. He claims the students shouldn’t be able to so easily trust each other, then went and easily trusted just the same- and chose the worst person to acknowledge he trusted.
I say Damon acknowledges he trusted Eva because I think Damon trusts the other students more than he realizes. He is easily able to engage in Free Time Events with every student, except Grace. The fact there’s no Grace FTE’s, or to be Meta an exception to “hang out with your favourites!” rule, makes it feel in-character that Damon trusts the other students enough with his safety, but not Grace. Also, a lot of what happens in those FTE’s like Jean picking up Damon by his ankles has to mean they’re at least some sort of comfort with each other. The other students do seem comfortable with Damon, even the youngest student Toshiko knows she can call Damon a cutesy name like Mochi- he’s unhappy about it but ultimately does nothing. Ingrid asks him to help with the laundry and he agrees- grumbles about it later to himself but doesn’t actually protest to Ingrid’s face, and does his share. There’s also the fact that Damon doesn’t protest the roommate rule, and then how immediately comfortable he gets with said roommate. He even prefers to sleep in Kai’s room at a certain point, as sleeping alone in his own room makes him too anxious as opposed to sleeping along with someone else. For someone who claims to be untrusting, Damon spends a lot of time with other people one-on-one and in group settings, and being kind to them as well.
The only time I can think Damon doesn’t cooperate with the group is when Eva shows him the Tozu Equation and he says they should keep it secret. However, even then, Damon means *he and Eva* should keep it secret. He still means to work with Eva, as their own private team. He doesn’t go work on it on his own at any point, and asks her about it later if she had made any progress. When she says no, Damon assures her that he hadn’t expected her to with all the ongoing issues. He believes her at face value and doesn’t go to check on it, and was kind to her about the issue.
Still, there is an obvious elephant in the room: Damon is still an outsider. He’s not part of the group, there’s no equal exchange of first. The obvious solution, and one Damon comments on himself multiple times, is that he’s cooperating with them only to gain their trust, *not* because he trusts them. However, I think Damon is lying to himself, or is just unaware of how much trust he puts into his actions. For a comparison, I want us to look at Eva. Eva only spends time individually with Damon, who she “trusts”. Other than that, the only time we see her with others is to gather information or purposefully be seen while plotting her murder. We don’t have much insight on her rooming situation but Diana’s comments imply Eva was often absent from their room. Eva tends to lurk in the boiler room alone, specifically because nobody wants to go down there. She has no interest in her classmates and doesn’t trust any of them, and only takes interest in them when she needs them. Now this could just be a difference of strategy (Eva wanting to gain trust when the time was right, and Damon wanting to gain trust in advance) but frankly, it didn’t work. Damon spent more time cooperating with the class, and yet in the trial they hesitate to believe him over Eva based on his character. The only reason they choose to believe him is because they take a moment to reassess everything Damon has been saying, and draw a logical conclusion. Damon has still gained no real trust from their group, so what was the point of everything he’s done if it amounted to nothing?
Damon, whose situation is extremely close to Eva’s, is willing to share his living space with another person, to the point he shares the bed with them (his idea btw), not even swapping the bed every night. Eva feels more safe alone with her own mind and intelligence, but Damon has always reached out to other people for security. After Tozu threatened him, Damon went to Kai despite his belief Kai might kill him. When Wolfgang turned the group against him, Damon automatically latched onto the one other outcast, Eva without even realizing it. He’d already latched onto her from the moment they awoke in the boiler room together.
I definitely missed some stuff, like how Damon was the only one willing to grab Kai’s ring in the FTE- just say no if you don’t want to do it Damon. It’s going to be important to remember how kind he is in these earlier chapters since that kindness and trust he employed has now been thrown back in his own face and spit on (thanks Eva), so I’m not sure we’re ever going to see Damon be this unintentionally kind again.
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karak9 · 2 days ago
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oh this is fun sorry I didn't see it sooner!! I love ask games <3
1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?
primarily nonhuman! my plurality also intersects with my alterhumanity personally.
2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)
...how much time do you have?
tl;dr I'm a polymorph with a fluid identity so my list of kintypes is everchanging and vague. my primary kintypes are elf, dog, and currently deer but more in an archetype way than a super animalistic deer way, but not quite to the point of wanting to label it an archetrope thing! I tend to get identity flickers a lot but also some of my kintypes just gradually change over time. I'll always be elf and dog, though. most of my kintypes/morphtypes are animal but I have 1 fictotype and experience fiction flickers too.
3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?
yes, though not as often as I did when I first joined the community. my strangest shifts were orca (morphtype or kintype idk) and snake (cameo). imagining moving without limbs/legs is so weird lol. I've heard of people having tree/plant shifts and honestly??? I wanna try that.
my most common shifts are canine. I usually get phantom ears + tail whenever I think about them or sometimes randomly feel them when I'm particularly emotive lol.
4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?
being a nonhuman freak <3
I'm a lil nonhuman with my partner altho he's not nonhuman himself but he totally gets me and we make animal noises at each other and he calls me his pup!
5/ What do you think of the community?
needs some work as pretty much all communities do, but pretty awesome otherwise. I really like how the community is progressing to becoming significantly less gatekeepy and elitist. more nonhumans having fun and playing with their identity please!!! less people shaming others for enjoying being nonhuman or not being nonhuman the """right""" way!!
6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?
incorporating my identity in fashion, kink, and whatever the term is for how I interact with others- aka I am very dog with my partner and friends. not all of them know I'm otherkin but I'm so thankful puppygirls are becoming more socially acceptable because it makes it a lot easier for me to express myself lol.
7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?
rarely. it was REALLY bad as a teen but has calmed down a lot since growing more comfortable in my nonhumanity and my mental health/environment being better. maybe I lucked out there but man it was awful at the start.
8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?
if I could give a piece of advice to my younger self it would be: identity is a concept and there is no way to "prove" your experiences. it's literally made up. stop trying to mold yourself to fit a standard that wasn't made for you. just be your weird self.
nowadays I'm not sure if my advice would be different, I feel like a lot has changed in the attitude of the community towards newcomers over the years. I guess just be yourself, as cheesy as that is. there is no wrong way to be you, I promise. there ARE wrong ways you can use labels and if you screw up, that's 1000% okay!!! just be kind and listen to people if they offer you a piece of information you might've not had before.
9/ Do you have/want to have gears?
I have some collars and have had tails in the past but got rid of them when I moved. I'd love to make some more though! I have a pair of ears as well, and some puppygirl aesthetic clothing/shoes lol. I would love some more.
10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)
my personal origin theory is a mix of spiritual and psychological. I believe my kintypes are mostly past lives but the reason I connect with them in my current human life is due to being neglected as a child. I was raised around a lot of dogs so I latched onto them and began seeing myself as one of them from a very young age. I don't think I would have this many kintypes if I wasn't traumatized and mentally ill lmao. I do think I might've still been an elf though, because it's one of my 2 strongest kintypes despite not really having anything that influenced me towards it growing up like with canids. also I think my polymorphism is entirely because I have an unstable sense of self due to bpd/cptsd. might be partially caused by having lived many lives? and being plural.
idk who to tag bc I'm not active on tumblr I forget who is even on here lmao but pls do this if you see it!!! <3
If you are a alterhuman, reblog and answer these questions!
(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)
1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?
2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)
3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?
4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?
5/ What do you think of the community?
6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?
7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?
8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?
9/ Do you have/want to have gears?
10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)
11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈
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mamawasatesttube · 3 days ago
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coming out as boring or whatever but i must admit. i don't actually find boomer-sitcom-esque "i hate my wife"/"my partner is annoying and naggy"/"its cute and quirky to shit on my partner" jokes funny even if you make them gay. sorry. but its my truth.
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layraket · 2 days ago
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I had an adorable mental image I think you would appreciate: Bunny!Legend snuggling with Hyrule when one or both is stressed or upset. Just a pink fluff ball sitting in the lap of his successor so they can both destress
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Lately days have been harder; more things in his mind doing the rounds, constant fighting that only means more use of magic and energy, just staying awake. Hyrule isn't one to complains, he grew up always trying to see the brighter side, everything had one.
Right now though, it was a lot more difficult than usual.
Twilight and Legend had gone to patrol the area where they will set camp to make sure that there aren't any monsters. When Twilight came back, there was no veteran to see next to him. Just a pink bunny on his arms.
Hyrule was put on keeping an eye on the bunny duty so the rancher could go for Sky. Why? Something about needing the master sword.
"I wonder where's Legend..." He said to no one, maybe the bunny, he (was a he right? Twilight talked about him as a boy) was the only one who could hear him right now.
The bunny turned to look at him, piercing violet eyes meeting bright blue-ish green ones.
"Do you know? You were with Twi after all" He gently grabbed the bunny and put him on his lap, he seemed a little grumpy but at least didn't try to bite him.
He slowly put one hand on the bunny's back, petting his soft pink fur.
"You know, there was a legend about bunnies, them being as a symbol of perseverance and kindness in the toughtess of times, something to do with one of the heroes of the past" He paused for a moment, thinking "Would the hero be Legend?"
If the bunny's ears perked up at that, Hyrule didn't know the reason. He continued petting him, being gentle to not bother the small creature.
"If only they didn't go extint in my time..." Dawn has shown him some old books which contained information about extint animals of the past, bunnies being one of them. Something about the world becoming too hostile and lack of food to survive.
Obviously he wasn't able at the time when that happened, he didn't even born yet! Yet, even if he wished to restoor everything to how things where so no one would have to suffer hunger, cold and fear, it was impossible to happend in his lifetime.
When all this journey is over, he will go back to his time, wandering and not staying in one place, caves and dense forests being his most visited spots. In the past he seemed all that normal, comfortable even with the familiarity, but now after experiencing what it is to have constant company and people who cares for him, he almost wishes for this to never be over.
"I hope he's okay" He looked down at the bunny "Legend is strong, he will come back, right?"
The violet eyes of the bunny showed an intelligence that is not normal in these creatures, but yet there was something else. He sniffed Hyrule's hand and climbed to lay flat on his chest, closing his eyes.
If someone told him that this was how bunnies hugged, Hyrule would believe that. He wrapped the small pink fluffy body with his arms, petting his head.
If Twilight with the master sword in hand noticed some tears falling down his checks, he decided to not say a word.
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atleasttheresthis · 2 days ago
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There's a lot going around about the Neil Gaiman allegations, but one thing I keep coming back to is how we think about abusers in general.
@transcyberism wrote this on another post (quoting and not reblogging because I think that would hijack the original post): "Abusers look and act like normal-ass people."
I keep thinking about this because, unfortunately, abusers are normal-ass people. They're not like some alien species, they're people, with lives that, often, look a lot like yours. This doesn't mean that the things they do aren't devastatingly hurtful, or violent, and have outrageously harmful consequences. Of course they do. But the point here is that, most of the time, abusers aren't like an unknowable force for evil. They're people, and they're often motivated by the same things you are.
What I'm trying to get at here is that we are all capable of hurting each other beyond repair. I don't believe there is some innate capacity for evil and damage that abusers have and we don't, I believe the ability to cause damage resides in all of us. This doesn't mean that everybody is an abuser and everybody has caused such damage. I'm not pointing at you, the person reading this, and accusing you of being an abuser. That's not what I'm saying. But I'm saying that we all could be. Not that we have, or we're going to. But we could. Abusers are normal-ass people, and so are we. And normal-ass people hurt each other all the time, intentionally or not.
In Avatar the Last Airbender, when Toph says "it's like these people are born bad," Aang replies "no, that's not it at all. Everyone is capable of great good or great evil." I think he's hit the nail on the head. I don't believe people are born bad, and I don't believe people are born good. We are all capable of unimaginable suffering. Abusers are normal-ass people.
The reason this is important, I think, is when we consider what Lila Shapiro, the author of the Vulture article, writes about Gaiman's history with Scientology. Apparently, he was subjected to horrible things at the hands of the church and his parents when he was a child. As other people have pointed out, this is not meant to absolve him or forgive him, or even explain his actions. We're not in his head, we don't know. It's more to put his actions into context. Neil Gaiman is a normal-ass person who had horrible things done to him by other normal-ass people and did horrible things to other normal-ass people. Abuse victims abuse victims. Again, this is not meant to explain/absolve him, but to put his actions in context.
I also think we have to remember that Neil Gaiman is very likely a normal-ass person as we try and make sense of what to do next. Yes, he should face some kind of punishment; yes, his victims deserve justice; yes, we probably shouldn't make any more of his stuff into hit TV shows, and we should probably think twice about buying his books. But we can't just, like, kill him, or write him off as a one-note evil character who is completely different from us. He's not the Other Mother. He didn't do these horrible things because he's fundamentally different from us, he did these things because he is, unfortunately, a normal-ass person, just like we are.
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chem1cali · 1 day ago
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POLAROIDS
masterlist
18+ MINORS DNI
theodore nott x fem!reader
synopsis: you've never been particularly confident in yourself, which is why you decide to take some flattering polaroids of your body. but what happens when they end up in the wrong hands?
warnings: SMUT, slight dubcon, p in v sex, masturbation (m receiving), jacking off over photos, body worship, oral (f receiving), breeding kink kinda, theo is a desperate little slut, reader is a perv (theo is also kind of a perv)
wordcount: 3.9k
a/n: this is the first time i've written smut in like two years, so i hope this does me justice as i try and get back into the swing of things again!
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"Shit, shit, shit!" You curse, rifling through your drawers. "They're gone. They're gone, Pans!"
Pansy walks up beside you, staring into your drawer of clothes with confusion. "What's gone, exactly? All you told me was that you did something special."
You tip your head back, staring at the ceiling.
"The polaroids." You groan. "Where the fuck are they?"
"You took polaroids?" Pansy asks, her voice seeming intrigued now. "What of?"
"Me." You say, spinning to face her. "Me with... not a whole lot of clothes on."
Pansy's mouth pops open, shock and delight colouring her features. "Oh my god. You naughty thing!"
You purse your lips at her. "Thank you, but not the point right now. They're missing, which means someone has them, or I've lost them and someone will find them, or-"
"Woah, woah." Pansy's hands come up to grasp your shoulders. "Relax, okay? We'll figure out where they are. There's every chance you've misplaced them somewhere in here, which means if someone does find them, it'll only be one of us girls. We're the only ones that come in here."
The blood drains from your face. "And Theo."
Pansy cocks her head. "What?"
You swallow harshly. "Theo comes in here to hang out with me sometimes. What if he sees them?"
Pansy raises an eyebrow. "Trust me, I don't think he'd be complaining."
You squint at her. "What's that supposed to- nevermind. Not the point. The point is, they're in here somewhere, and we have to find them before someone else does."
Pansy rolls her eyes. "Fine, we can talk about Theo's burning love for you later."
Your cheeks flame. Burning love? "I don't know what you're talking about, he's my best friend."
"First of all," Pansy scowls. "I'm offended that I'm not your best friend. Second of all, if you think that man is just friends with you, you're delusional."
You frown back at her, choosing to ignore her words entirely and resume hunting for the elusive pieces of film. You tear through the piles of clothes while Pansy rifles through your desk and piles of parchment.
"Why did you take polaroids of yourself like that anyway?" She asks, some time later while you're still searching. "Who are they for?"
You look over at her from your cross legged position on the floor. You were on your final drawer in your tall-boy, with still no sign of the pictures.
"For myself." You mumble. "You know I've had... issues with my confidence. I thought this might help."
Pansy nods, no hint of judgement on her face. "Makes sense, I buy myself fancy lingerie for the same reason. Makes me feel beautiful and powerful."
You exhale softly, relieved at the understanding that has passed between the two of you. "That's what the polaroids did for me. Made me feel pretty."
She nods. "I should hope so, you are pretty."
Your cheeks glow at the compliment and you duck your head.
"Thanks." You mutter.
A few minutes later, Pansy groans. "I don't think we're going to find them."
Panic bubbles in your chest.
"We have to find them." You gasp. "They can't- they can't have gone missing. If anyone sees them- god, I'll be a fucking laughing stock, Pans!"
Pansy is up out of her chair and crouching beside you in seconds.
"Hey." Her hands find their way to your shoulders. "Breathe, Y/N. We'll figure it out. No one has been in this room since you took them, right? Which means they're still here somewhere. We'll find them, we can just take a break for a bit, though. Okay?"
You force your lungs to expand and contract at a normal pace, waiting for your heart to stop racing. Still slightly panicky and trembling, you look at Pansy and give her a weak smile in thanks.
She smooths a hand over your hair. "Why don't you go and find Theo? Take your mind off things for a bit."
That sounded like a good idea, but the devious wink Pansy gave you made it clear exactly what taking your mind off things meant in her eyes.
"Hilarious." You mutter. "I will go and see Theo, though. And not for the reasons you're implying."
Pansy rolls her eyes. "One day, the two of you will just fuck and I'll be able to say I told you so."
You make a face, and stand up, dragging her to the door with you. "Okay, that's enough of you. I'm leaving, so are you. I'll see you at supper, yeah?"
Pansy giggles as she's pushed out of your dorm. "Yeah, I'll see you at dinner, but I imagine you'll be too full to want to eat anything."
"Pansy!" You yell, as she flits down the corridor away from you, still laughing. Sighing, you drag a hand down your face and head in the opposite direction towards Theo's dorm.
Once there, you lift your hand to knock, but a muffled groan stops you. You pause, and listen. There it is again, a soft groan coupled with the wet sounds of moving skin.
You scrunch your nose. You were no stranger to Theo's popularity with the female population at Hogwarts, but you'd never actually stumbled on the evidence of said popularity. You shake your head in exasperation and turn to leave when a quiet pant of your name sounds from behind the door.
You freeze, staring in disbelief at the door, wondering if maybe you'd heard wrong or-
Nope. There it was again. Your own name, said with Theo's unmistakeable voice. Was he...?
No. There was no way. The best thing to do right now, would be to walk away, or to at least knock and give him time to sort himself out before answering the door.
But as your hand inches towards the door handle, a small twisted part of you decides that you want to catch him unawares.
Before you can think too hard about it, you crack the door open slightly, thankful for Theo's tendency to keep it unlocked and the hinges oiled.
His dorm room is quite dark, lit only by a single candle on his bedside, so it takes a moment for your eyes to adjust to the gloom.
When they do, however, the sight has your body freezing and your lips parting in shock and... something else you weren't brave enough to name.
Theo is propped up on his pillows, the soft candlelight brushing his bare skin with a golden hue, highlighting the sheen of sweat covering him. His face is tense, eyes shut and mouth slightly agape, head tilted back just enough to show the pale expanse of his throat. His chest is bare, abdominal muscles flexing as his hand...
You press further against the crack in the door, your eyes wide. Theo's hand grips his cock, tugging at the length with furious haste, his hips lifting to meet each pull as his other hand grips his bedsheets tightly, veins popping out along his forearm from the strain.
You can't see much, due to your unorthodox vantage point and the dim light of the candle, but you can see enough to know that he is... sizeable.
As in, how the fuck is that supposed to fit anywhere, sizeable.
Your eyes trail lower down, until they catch on a glint of laminated paper resting on his bare thighs, just above where his pants are bunched halfway down his legs.
Your blood runs cold. Oh god, were those...?
In an effort to see better, you push closer, widening the gap of the door. What you don't account for, however, is Theo's innate messiness. His broom must have been leaning against the door, and it is sent clattering to the floor as the door opens wider.
Theo jolts upright, his eyes flying open as he grabs his wand and casts a hasty Lumos, illuminating his room, and himself, in a much brighter light than before.
And, unfortunately, illuminating you standing in his doorway.
"Y/N?" He asks breathlessly, his chest heaving and cheeks flushed with leftover exertion. He hasn't covered himself, and the light from his wand reveals more of his skin to you, including the flushed and stiff weight of his cock as it bobs against his stomach.
Theo notices the object of your attention and flushes deeper, scrambling to cover himself while muttering embarrassed apologies. In his haste, Theo knocks the pictures to the ground, and with the new light from his wand, you can see your familiar, half naked form decorating the polaroids.
Theo falls silent, staring helplessly at the fallen pictures as his mouth opens and shuts with no words coming out.
"I..." He begins finally. "Look, I can explain-"
"Were you touching yourself over photos of me?" You cut him off, incredulously, looking back up at him. Your brow furrows. "How did you even get a hold of them, they were in my dorm?"
Theo shifts uncomfortably, hands cupped over his still obvious erection. "I uh... went to look for you earlier. I went to your dorm and... they were just there. On your bed. I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry, god I'm so sorry."
Your cheeks heat. He'd just seen them? Taken them? Your cheeks burned brighter. Thought they were good enough to touch himself over? A heat of a different kind erupted low in your stomach, but you berated yourself. This wasn't a smut scene in one of your books, this was real life, and it was weird, and creepy, and-
"It's fine." You breathe instead, despite your warring thoughts. Your body's reaction was winning this battle, tingles erupting along your spine and your toes curling in your shoes.
Theo blinked. "What...?"
You laughed awkwardly. "I mean, it's weird, don't get me wrong, but I also just spent the last few minutes spying on you so it's not exactly any weirder than that."
Theo choked, staring up at you with wide eyes. "You what? You were watching me?"
You glanced between him and his various possessions as you struggled to find your words. "I mean, yes? It's makes us both even, I suppose. You were weird enough to steal lewd photos of me to wank over, I was weird enough to stand here and watch you, enjoy watching you. It makes us both even and we never have to speak about it again, right?"
Theo goes to open his mouth to reply, but a choked moan escapes his lips instead. You glance back down at his lap, finding his hand wrapped back around his cock, his thumb flicking over the flushed and sensitive tip.
"You enjoyed watching me?" He rasps, his eyes focused on you, wand forgotten but still glowing beside him on the bed.
You stand there, transfixed at the sight before you, before nodding slowly.
"Yeah." You breathe. "I enjoyed it."
Glancing back up at his face, you see his bottom lip caught between his teeth, and his eyes flare with heat. So much heat.
"Are you still enjoying it?" He asks quietly, leaning back on his other hand so that the expanse of his torso and throbbing length was in clear view for you to see. The rhythmic movements of his hand stroking himself back and forth was hypnotising to you, and you almost forget his question until you catch his lips curl into a self-satisfied smirk at your blatant ogling.
"I'll take that as a yes." He murmurs, clenching his fist tighter and exhaling sharply.
"This... this isn't right, Theo." You breathe, but your traitorous body is trembling with anticipation.
"It's just me, tesoro." He says softly. "Just you and me. Come in to the room properly, close the door."
You body acts without hesitation, following his gentle instruction. You step further into his dormroom, shutting the door behind you and leaning against the cool wood.
"I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw those pictures lying on your bed." Theo continues to speak, his Italian accent rolling over the syllables with an unfairly seductive purr. "How many months I've longed to see you without your robes and sweaters and skirts, and it was like my wishes had been granted to me."
Heat prickles over your skin, leaving goosebumps in his wake. You're silent, but so attentive to his words of praise. You'd felt confident and proud of yourself taking the photos, but it was nothing compared to seeing your best friend push himself to the brink of ecstasy over them.
"And it was better than anything I could have imagined." Theo's gentle voice is interspersed with soft grunts and pants as his hand movements grow harsher. "But I can't help but imagine if the real thing could be even better."
You blink in surprise. "You mean...?."
"Yeah." He pants. "Wanna see you, baby."
Your spine locks as pleasure tingles straight to your core. Before you can overthink it, you're shrugging off your school robes, already setting on unbuttoning your blouse beneath. Theo just stares at you, eyes locked on your hands as they bare more and more skin to his view. His breath hitches as you finally remove your shirt and set to removing your skirt, shoes and socks.
When you're finally left in just your underthings, he glances between you and the polaroids on the floor. "You... you're wearing the same..."
You nod shyly, fighting the urge to cover yourself with your hands. "I only took them earlier this morning."
Theo's eyes connect with yours, and you're stunned by the turbulent emotions swirling through them. There's lust, of course, but also a little left over fear and embarrassment, as well as something softer... warmer, that you can't quite name.
"Come closer." He whispers. "Please."
You do as he says, coming closer until his free hand reaches up to wrap around the back of one of your thighs, pulling you closer.
"So soft." He breathes, glancing up at you from his seated position. His hand skates up the side of your leg, cupping and squeezing your ass briefly before trailing over your hip and up the side of your ribs. "So beautiful."
His hand rests finally on the underside of your breast, fingers twitching with the urge to grope and grab at your body. "Please let me touch."
You nod, and he groans. "Words, tesoro. I need your words."
"Yes. Yes, Theo, you can touch me."
Shocking you entirely, he releases his cock and grips your waist with both hands, laying you flat on your back on the bed. He settles his weight on top of you, his mouth sealing itself to the sensitive skin at the crook of your neck. You gasp as he sucks and bites along the skin, writhing under the warm, solid weight of him. He bucks his hips against yours, the velvety hardness of his cock brushing against your sex over the lace of your panties.
An embarrassing mewl escapes your lips as your legs tighten around his waist, and he does it again, harder this time.
"Can I taste you?" He whispers against your neck. "I've been dreaming of this for so long, love. You've gotta let me taste you. Let me make you feel good - I promise it'll feel good."
You're nodding while you still have this wave of confidence motivating you, and make a noise of disappointment as he raises himself off you. Your disappointment doesn't last for long, however, before he's situating himself between your legs and staring at the apex of your thighs like a starving man faced with his first meal in months.
He presses a kiss to your inner thigh, looking up at you through his lashes. His mouth slides higher, and you can feel his lips twist into a grin against your skin as your breath quickens and your body shifts with impatience.
Finally, he presses an open-mouthed kiss to your clothed cunt, letting out a soft groan as his tongue laves over the lace of your underwear. His fingers hook into the fabric and he moves his mouth just long enough to tug them down and over your hips before his lips are back on you.
Your back arches and you let out a startled moan at the bare contact. Theo wastes no time, diving into you like a man possessed. The first lick of his tongue across your slit has you gasping, and your hand flies down to tangle in his brunette curls. He sets himself on you with even more intensity, trading between suckling at your clit, kissing and nipping at your inner thighs, and plunging his tongue straight into your entrance, licking up every drop of your arousal. Every movement makes the tension in your stomach coil tighter and tighter until you're not sure you can handle anymore.
"Theo." You gasp out. "I can't- I'm not sure if I can-"
"Shhh." He croons against your skin. "Let it go, baby. I've got you."
He sucks harder on your clit, pairing it with a sharp nip that has you crying out his name, and the tension in your body snaps like an elastic band. Pleasure zaps through you, electrifying every nerve under your skin and making your vision blur. You're vaguely aware of Theo licking you through the aftershocks, lapping up the evidence of your orgasm as he rocks his hips against the mattress, whimpering softly.
When you begin to push his head away once the oversensitivity kicks in, he pulls away, his face wet from you; lips swollen and pupils dilated. He crawls up your body, pressing his lips to yours. You gasp as you taste yourself on his tongue, pulling him closer with a hand on the back of his neck as you yearn for more.
"How was that, tesoro?" He pants out. "Did I make you feel good?"
You nod frantically.
"More." You gasp. "I want more."
"More?" He punctuates his words with a harsh grind of his erection against your core. "You sure you can handle more?"
You nod frantically. "I can do it. I wanna do it."
He dives back in for another kiss, tangling his tongue with yours as he reaches down you free his cock fully from his pants. He moans softly into your mouth as the tip of his cock presses against your clit, and you shudder against him. He guides himself to your entrance, pulling back to look you in the eye.
"Gonna fill you up, yeah? Make you feel so good, baby. Split you apart on my cock. You want that, yeah?"
You arch further into him, raising one of your legs to wrap around his hip, opening yourself further to him.
His eyes roll back as he begins to press into you, stuttered groans escaping his lips as he pushes further, inch by inch of him being enveloped by your tight heat. You wince at the uncomfortable stretch, but lock your other leg around his hip as well, drawing him closer to you and forcing him to bottom out inside you.
"Need a second." He chokes out. "God, you're so tight. So hot and wet and perfect."
You moan your approval, giving yourself a second to adjust to his size. He's larger than anyone you've ever taken before. While he also adjusts, he reaches a hand behind your back to unclasp your bra, peeling the fabric from your body.
His eyes lock on to your chest, before he dips down and sucks a nipple into his mouth. You gasp, your body tensing with pleasure. He moans against your chest, a deep, masculine sound that has your cunt tightening around him. He switches his attention between your breasts, lavishing sucks and nips equally across both, sucking the skin so hard that you know you'll wake up with purplish marks tomorrow.
Finally, after what seems to be an eternity, Theo begins to shift his hips, and the friction send bolts of heat racing through you. He eases you into it with shallow, gentle thrusts, but it isn't long before he's reaching the edge of his control, and his hips beginning to slap against yours, your tits bouncing with the force of his movements.
He lifts his gaze to yours, watching you with parted lips.
"So gorgeous, tesoro." He murmurs. "I wish I could stay inside this pussy forever, it's like you were made for my cock."
You hum your agreement, lifting your hips slightly to meet his thrusts, your mouth dropping open in a silent moan as the new angle allows him to reach deeper, more sensitive spots inside you.
"Gonna come, Theo." You gasp out, barely able to stop your eyes from rolling into the back of your head.
"Me too, love. Can I come inside you? Pump you full?" He asks, his tone almost begging as his movements lose their steady rhythm and instead slam into you with reckless abandon.
"Yeah." You whimper. "Need you to stay inside me, please."
Theo buries his head in your neck, shuddering as his body tenses and his hips stutter. Sudden warmth coats your insides, and the sheer foreignness of the feeling catapults you straight to your second orgasm, your body shaking as it forces you through your pleasure. You squirm under Theo as he fights to keep moving, just to help work you through your climax, but before long his arms give out and he slumps on top of you, his softening cock still deep inside of you.
You allow him a moment of rest before you're pushing at his shoulders.
"Can't... breathe." You choke out, fighting to inhale against the weight of him on your chest.
Theo groans and shifts to collapse next to you, his head still resting on your sweat-slicked chest and an arm wrapped around your waist.
You stare up at the ceiling, your mind going a million miles an hour as you wince at the sudden empty feeling. Your heart is racing, and no longer just with the aftershocks of the frankly mind-blowing sex. You had just crossed a line in your friendship. A major one. One you couldn't come back from.
"Relax." Theo murmurs sleepily from beside you. "I can practically feel you overthinking."
You're silent for a moment, before speaking. "What does this mean, Theo? For us?"
He ponders your question, lifting off your chest to prop his head on his hand as he lies on his side, facing you.
"I don't know." He says honestly. "But I really liked what we just did. And I really like you, so we will work it out."
You blink at him. "You like me?"
He rolls his eyes, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. "Of course I like you, idiot. Have done for years."
You're speechless for a while, coming into terms with this new information. "Well."
Theo laughs, a rich, affectionate sound that tugs at your heart.
"We'll figure something out, tesoro, don't stress. For now, I'm exhausted, and your tits are the perfect pillow. We'll talk about it later, okay?"
You sigh out a soft laugh, and nod, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he settles back on top of you.
And later, when Pansy gives you a knowing look as you walk into the great hall together, Theo's arm wrapped securely around your waist, all you do is smile.
She did in fact tell you so.
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saivii · 2 days ago
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I have some thoughts about Nam-gyu’s character (how he comes across to me) because none of the ways I’ve seen people on here characterize him 100% resonate with me. Here are my thoughts on him, and some of these are just speculation on my part:
• He doesn’t like feeling out of control or helpless in any way. I think he has a complex about seeming “weak” and gets really set off if anything seems to confirm that he might appear weak.
• Has some self-hatred but would never admit it.
• Full of resentment (again, he would never admit that)
• Two-faced, tends to act polite/suck up to people who seem stronger but bullies people who are on the same “level” as him (this probably ties into his job as a club promoter because it would involve him having to appeal to people with more power)
* I think that he doesn’t like people who seem “weak” because he worries that other people might see him that way, especially if those “weak” people get close to him.
* I also think he doesn’t like to get too close to people in general because he’s afraid they won’t stay, either because they’ll die or because they’ll stab him in the back. He’s fine acting friendly on a surface level or having fun with someone while high, but he never acts completely genuine and tries not to get attached.
• I think he seems worried that other people look down on him (e.g. when he kills se-mi he asks her if she thinks he’s a joke)
• Is clearly terrified of the games but doesn’t want anyone to know that (hence him relying on the drugs)
* The only person that he seems somewhat comfortable with knowing that he’s scared is Thanos. I think it’s because he’s at least willing to admit that Thanos is stronger than him if it means he can rely on Thanos (it gives him a sense of security). Also he knows admitting it to Thanos might help him get the drugs, which will make it easier to suppress his fear and thus survive. It also might be a bit easier for him because he knew Thanos before the games.
* His total 180 to everyone else after getting the drugs (acting all confident in front of Min-su) shows how unwilling he is to show fear in front of most people. The fact that Se-mi calls him out on it really sets him off and I think that’s what leads to him resenting her so much, because she sees through the facade he tries to put up.
• Says that he did all kinds of crazy stuff when he worked at the club, which makes me wonder a lot of things, like is that how he started using? Did he use to hide how that job made him feel? Did he use to make it easier to put up a front?
• I can’t help but wonder if a small part of him was slightly worried about Gyeong-su during Mingle. Obviously it wasn’t enough for him to really hesitate or anything but when he gets into a room safely he’s the one who looks out the window (which I don’t think he does in any other round of Mingle) and he gets snappy when Min-su asks him about Gyeong-su.
• I think he simultaneously admires and resents Thanos. I think he envies the way Thanos seems so carefree and sure of himself as well as the fame and influence that Thanos has. I also think that while he meant to just use Thanos for security, he ends up getting attached to Thanos and doesn’t really realize it until Thanos is dead. He still feels resentful toward Thanos and tries to convince himself that it’s all he feels, though.
* It’s so hard to describe how I think he felt about Thanos but none of the takes I’ve seen so far have really reflected how I think he felt. I don’t think the reason he hated Min-su and Se-mi were because of jealously stemming from an attraction to Thanos. I think he hated those two because if Thanos paid more attention to them, that would make him feel weaker or less important than them and worsen the weird inferiority complex that I think he has. So he’s jealous in the sense that he feels like he has to compete with them for second place. Side note: I also think he hated them because them voting X showed that he wasn’t skilled enough to manipulate or intimidate them into doing what he wanted them to.
* I also think at first he was desperate to stay by Thanos so he wouldn’t be alone in the games. Since he already knew Thanos from working at the club and he could bond with Thanos over their shared hatred of 333 he had his foot in the door to become Thanos’s ally, but seeing the number of players who are fans of Thanos (and later seeing Thanos gravitate toward Min-su and Se-mi) makes Nam-gyu anxious that he might get left out or forgotten. He knows that Thanos is a strong player, and if he can’t be the strongest, he at least wants to be the second strongest.
* I think he’s really shaken after Thanos’s death and doesn’t completely understand why, which only bothers him more. On the one hand, he doesn’t have to feel inferior to Thanos anymore, but now he’s alone. Min-su and Se-mi are on the X side (and he never really liked either of them much anyway) and the one person he was able to have fun with is dead. When he takes the drugs with Thanos, he tends to goof around more, but when he takes them alone after Thanos dies, he’s aggressive and unhinged, and I think that shows that losing Thanos
• I think he tends to be touchy with other people in order to get them to do what he wants them to. Nam-gyu tends to be more manipulative and roundabout compared to Thanos (of course he can also be violent and direct at times though), and being touchy is his way of feigning intimacy and trying to get the other person’s guard down.
• This is 100% a headcanon but I think he’s bisexual. I think for a long time he assumed he couldn’t be attracted to men because he was attracted to women and he thought that meant he had to be straight. Then one day he hears about bisexuality and he’s like “ohhhh.” He’s definitely closeted tho.
• Another headcanon of mine is that he’s more of an introvert than he seems. Like he tries very hard to seem energetic and outgoing but on the inside he’s tired of people.
Hopefully this made sense and wasn’t too repetitive lol! Idk I guess I just wanted to share my thoughts on him because the main takes on him that I’ve seen are either “I hate him so much he’s the worst and he didn’t care about Thanos at all” or him just being completely dependent on Thanos (and to be fair, a lot of his characterization does relate to Thanos but I feel like ppl sometimes water down his character just so they can ship him with Thanos if that makes sense. Nothing against that ship btw, I actually like them together!) Basically he’s a silly little guy but he’s also a little fucked up actually.
Here’s a couple of pictures that sum him up in a nutshell (to me):
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argentumcor · 3 days ago
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I have been thinking a lot recently about dignitas, about this foundational dignity that belongs to every human being but is, in so many ways, stripped from us in bits and pieces very casually by others and ourselves. The context in which I've been thinking of it is about having parents and the manner in which one is conceived (it's prompting by some sci-fi stuff...maybe not so sci-fi as one wishes...) but it is a key part of discussing sex as well.
Modern culture struggles badly with this concept, unable to articulate very well why we feel some acts are wrong and unhealthy to the soul. It's made harder by the fact that we so often agree to these kinds of injuries, maybe for reasons we don't really think through, as well as the fact that others can do this kind of stuff to us without us being able to do anything effectively about it because of circumstance - just rage or be broken, wallowing in the sin that was done to us until we become it, too.
I offer no great fix to society. Maybe it only seems the past was different because the Truth shines like gold and the rest of it is just detritus that gets worn and washed away. Grace saves souls; it doesn't save this nebulous society thing. It saves you.
so for the purposes of this discussion I’m going to assume that we all agree that it’s not a desirable state of affairs to be sexually intimate with a whole bunch of people just for fun. I know not everybody agrees with that *gestures vaguely to the sexual revolution and the hookup culture*, but if I have to prove that first then that’s going to take forever and I don’t think it’s what we’re talking about anyway.
we’re going to assume that our interlocutor believes sex and love do have something to do with each other, and wants to know why we shouldn’t treat sex the way that most television shows these days treat sex: like kissing on the lips. you’re in love with your boyfriend so you kiss him on the lips. and then you might break up, and fall in love again and kiss a new boyfriend on the lips. in certain circumstances you might kiss someone on the lips who isn’t your boyfriend, like if they save your life or you go through a bonding experience together or something. and eventually you get married to someone and you only kiss that guy on the lips from then on, but you have kissed a few other guys before and it’s not a big deal or a scandal at all. why, is the question, can’t we treat sex exactly the same?
so, point one is: because the whole physical world is infused with symbolic meaning, the human body speaks a language of its own. we don’t assign meanings to the “words”, they’re inherent and universal. you can’t twist bodily actions to mean whatever you want them to mean, they’re going to go on saying what they really mean whether you want them to or not. a slap does not mean love; its violence is not and cannot be loving. a kiss does not mean hatred; Judas betraying Jesus with a kiss adds an extra layer of hurt to his deception.
point two: in order to exist happily and healthily in the world, we need to speak the truth with our bodies, and not try to twist the language of the body into saying something it isn’t. when we lie with the body, the whole real world we live in resists us. we’re trying to impose our own meaning by our own will onto something that already has its own meaning, given it by God, and quite frankly, God’s meaning is stronger and it’s gonna win. think of this as living in a state of denial—even if you can stay in your denial for a little while, eventually, reality will have its say, it will make itself felt. more on this later.
point three: sex, as a word in the language of the body, is saying something other than just “I feel love for you”—i.e. it is saying something different than a kiss. how do we know this? first of all, sex causes bonding on a chemical level in a way that kissing absolutely does not! secondly, sex creates children—and therefore exists on a very different level than kissing! both of these differences point to this: kissing as a “word” speaks about love as desire, when it says “I feel love for you” it’s mostly saying “I want you”. sex as a word speaks something more, it says something in itself about a commitment which is forever. what sex is saying is “I give all of myself to you and I receive all of you in return, we belong to each other forever”.
point four: the only circumstances in which sex can be spoken truly is marriage. sex speaks in the body the same total commitment that is made in the marriage vows, reiterating and confirming the mutual gift that has already been given.
this is sort of where it gets tricky (and where I think TOB speakers often fail their listeners), because when you’re dating somebody, if you’re not being disingenuous and stringing them along until you find something better, you do hope that you’ll be together forever. and so the more you fall in love with someone, the more you naturally (and appropriately, I’d say!) want to have sex with them, because you want to be able to express your longing for that forever. you don’t intend to lie with your body! you want to say what sex says and make it true in the saying of it!
I think the usual Christian response is to say “ah yes, but that forever isn’t yet promised or guaranteed, so you don’t know if it’s ever going to come”. and as much as the person currently head-over-heels in love doesn’t want to hear it, unfortunately it is very real. for every Jack who meets his first serious girlfriend in college, has sex with her because he really wants them to be together forever, and then marries her six years later having had sex with no one but her, there’s just as many (if not more) Jill’s who meets her first serious boyfriend in high school, has sex with him because she really wants them to be together forever, then is blindsided by a breakup and goes on to repeat the pattern with several more boyfriends before she finally finds the “one”. it’s a tragically common story, so common that the trauma of it is becoming harder to recognize. but it causes severe emotional and psychological harm, to give all of yourself to a person hoping for the gift to be received, only to have your whole self be rejected, or trivialized, or used and discarded. it takes tremendous courage for Jill to pick herself up and believe in love again, and often she’s disappointed over and over again. even when the “one” does appear and the gift is finally received completely in marriage, the scars don’t fade completely. I think a lot of people who get their happy ending end up experiencing that phenomenon of psychological backdraft, all their old sexual traumas bubbling up again now that they finally have a healthy sexual experience to know how it should have been. they then have to spend the honeymoon years of their marriage healing from everything that came before. so the usual Christian guidance is “you don’t want to go into marriage with all that baggage, so better to wait just to make sure”.
and while I do think avoiding trauma is generally a good idea, I think this is a little bit of a cop-out. for one thing, it kind of seems to be saying “don’t have sex with your significant other, because you don’t really know if they’re telling the truth about wanting to marry you”—that is, it’s encouraging you to not trust your partner. sure (she said sarcastically), that sounds healthy!! there has to be a better, more loving reason not to have sex with a significant other before marriage. and it’s this: if the Church’s teaching about sex and marriage are really true, then it is just as wrong for Jack to have sex with his girlfriend before marriage as it is for Jill to have sex with her boyfriend—Jack’s eventual marriage to his girlfriend doesn’t retroactively validate every instance of premarital sex! and if Jack having sex with his girlfriend before they got married is wrong, then what we’re saying is it must be hurting them. even though their love story ended happily! even though they did end up giving and receiving the gift of self completely! getting things “out of order” is hurting them and making them unhappy. this is the burden of proof, and it’s much harder than proving Jill’s sexual history is hurting her. and yet if we believe Church teaching, it must be true!
so we return at last to my above point two—in order to exist happily and healthily in the world, we need to speak the truth with our bodies, and not try to twist the language of the body into saying something it isn’t. and here’s the kicker: we are not God. we cannot make a thing so just by saying it. so no matter how understandable it is to try to create a relationship that will last forever by speaking forever with our bodies, it simply does not work that way. when the word is spoken out of the context which makes it true (i.e. when you have sex outside of marriage), it does not and cannot bring that whole context into being—it doesn’t create a vow of fidelity, it doesn’t create a shared life, it doesn’t create a public commitment. someone can have sex with you and then break up with you, someone can have sex with you and then get in their car and go home leaving you there by yourself to sleep alone, someone can have sex with you and then pretend you don’t exist. the sex, on its own, doesn’t create a slippery slope that leads swiftly and inevitably to marriage. it just creates tension between the life you actually have, unmarried, and the unreal life you’re pretending you have in sleeping with one another. it makes all those parts of yourselves that you haven’t shared stand out more strongly, making you feel every little separation as a wound. and instead of creating a sense of peace and security, it leads to a kind of desperate grasping feeling—“we’re acting like us being together forever is a done deal, but it’s not a done deal, it’s not set in stone, so what can I do to make it work, how can I control this, how can I make him want me enough to stay?” even if in the end Jack proposes, the foundation of the relationship has been damaged. it can be healed, and rebuilt! but it is not good for a relationship to develop under that kind of strain. not good, and not necessary.
what’s the alternative? when you wait to have sex until marriage, your dating years with a partner can be years of expectantly looking forward in hope, while also living in the moment. you are not married yet—so your relationship is not set in stone, you’re still deciding what kind of relationship you want to have together, which means it can still get better and better as you build it. talk a LOT! talk about everything! talk about your pasts, talk about your dreams for the future! work out your issues in the present instead of covering them over with physical affection! because you’re not burdened by the anxious desperation to turn a lie into the truth, you will be able to see more clearly what the strengths and the weaknesses of the relationship really are, which allows you to address your weaknesses and work on them! and because you’re not pretending like you’re already totally committed, the prospect of actually making a total commitment will be more and more attractive. when you’re not trying to act like you’re married already, it’s so much easier to have open conversations about the future you want together, and easier to know when it’s time right now to take steps to get there. and that’s exciting! it’s fun to have stuff to look forward to, it’s fun to make plans together!
it’s not a better way because there’s less collateral damage, because you’re hedging your bets playing it safe just in case something goes wrong. it’s a better way because it’s all about letting love develop in its own time, according to its own internal laws. I’m not gonna say “guard your heart”, as if your significant other was an enemy at the gates. instead, “guard your relationship”, because it’s worth protecting, worth giving every chance to be as happy as it can be.
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dykecubes · 3 days ago
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I was a hardcore dream fan up until the point the initial grooming accusations (the stuff in from the “The Truth” video).
I think a lot of people call Dream fans a cult kind of like,,,,, either insultingly or hyperbolically. Like they aren’t really thinking that the group is cult-like, and are saying it just because of the extreme devotion to dream through controversies. As a former fan tho, my experience genuinely does feel somewhat cult-like to me (I don’t want to downplay real cults, but I don’t have another word).
Cults often target people who are lonely and vulnerable and offer them community in return for not questioning things. I joined the dream fan community a couple months into the pandemic. I was very lonely. I had depression that I had just started getting treatment for (literally one session and I was still unmedicated) at my college, before getting ripped away from my hope things were going to get better. I wasn’t out to my parents, so living at home again meant getting constantly misgendered.
in short, I wasn’t feeling great. And Dream- you have to understand how much of his fan community (at least on tumblr) is into the idea that he loves his fans, and he loves his friends. And getting to watch those friendships felt like living vicariously. And having someone tell me they loved me, even if I knew I was just another fan helped. For a long time during the pandemic, the dream team were the literal highlight of my day. They were often the reason I got out of bed. I knew even then that that wasn’t healthy, but I was having trouble figuring out how else to get through things.
even after going back to college after the first vaccine had come out, Dream (watching and re-watching videos, interacting with the community) remained a pillar of my mental health. Less so, but if I needed to calm down, I watched a dream video. A lot of my free time was spent in fan spaces. I really, really put him on a pedestal.
I cannot describe to you how anxious I was when the grooming allegations came out. I genuinely started feeling nauseous all the time. I was checking my phone obsessively. I’m not going back to look at these, but I remember that dream had some initial responses (long Reddit post and whatnot). There wasn’t enough there to really make anything clear/disproven and the girls looked like they had a lot of evidence, so I was still anxious and sick and feeling like I was waiting in limbo to find out what was really going on. Trying to prep myself to accept that things might not be what I hoped, as much as I didn’t want to believe it.
when I logged on, the vibe in my tumblr circle was… very different. A lot of people (except for a few that ended up leaving with me) were acting like everything was disproven and it was all good and we could go back to normal times, with a few posts about how disgusting it was that someone would fake something like that. My first response was, honestly, confusion. I thought that I must have been being stupid and missed something or not understood something. So I politely sent an ask to a big name in the community that I trusted to be smart and explain things well, saying that I wasn’t sure we had enough evidence to really dismiss the accusations and asking why she thought that everything was disproven. She gave me exactly the same information that I already knew, while calling me stupid and saying that if I didn’t believe dream that I should just get the fuck out.
I felt suddenly, unpleasantly woken up. I wasn’t being stupid or missing evidence that would fully exonerate dream (maybe there was evidence like that in “the truth”. I never watched it, couldn’t). They just wanted to believe Dream wasn’t guilty, so they did, and twisted things until that made sense. Because they wanted to feel excited and loved again, instead of the crushing anxiety and dread I was in. And I thought about my own reactions, and I knew that I had been so fucking anxious over someone I didn’t even know because secretly I also wanted Dream to be exonerated. I wanted to bury my head in the sand and pretend that it simply wasn’t true because of what being a dream fan gave to me: bits of happiness and community.
And I was really scared of myself. Because I wanted to not believe those girls, not because I thought I had evidence otherwise, but because it would make me feel better. And I knew that was really, really shitty, and that that was something I had to stop in its tracks. And that I NEEDED to not be as obsessive or put anyone on a pedestal as much again. Because I would do the same thing- wanting to make excuses to keep my own happiness. And that’s not ok.
I stopped following almost everyone overnight and stopped watching anything Dream-related cold turkey (<—I realize this probably sounds stupid but I genuinely watched so much dream stuff it was an actual change in my life). I’m still in the mcyt space, mostly hermitcraft, but I make sure that I never put anyone on a pedestal like that again, and I have a way healthier internet to real life ratio.
Coming out of that space genuinely felt like something I was grieving. The intensity of my emotions, both in it and coming out, wasn’t healthy, and I’m really glad I left. if I wasn’t faced with a situation where someone was potentially materially being hurt, I don’t know if it could have happened, I was so embroiled. For obvious reasons tho, that crossed a line and luckily on the other side I had people that were kind to me when I was still kinda reeling.
anyway, tldr, my hot take with this situation is that more dream fans wake up and realize he’s a piece of shit, and get grace and kindness while doing so. Sorry for how long this is- hopefully I get my point across that I genuinely believe that at least some dream fan spaces are intensely unhealthy, more than some people outside of them might consciously think
anon if I’m being honest with you this whole situation has me thinking a lot about this post from a while ago and at the moment, yes, it is frustrating seeing his fans deny the evidence right in front of them but I really can’t help but hold a level of sympathy for them
I was never really a hardcore dream stan but I was very adjacent to that community back when I still had Twitter and TikTok and spent a lot of time defending dream and his community whenever criticisms of him came up, I very much disliked the idea of calling dream stans a cult because I spent probably about 5 years or so of my life in stan communities on Twitter and I’m very much of the opinion that they get a bad rap, but it was around the time of his grooming allegations that I stopped defending him as well and came to understand what people meant when they called his community a cult
while I still don’t fully like using that word to describe his community because I know people who are survivors of cults and don’t want to downplay their severity, I will also say it’s alarming how easy it is to apply the BITE method to dream’s fanbase, especially information and thought control
that being said, even if it technically is not a cult it’s still a very intense community and it’s still difficult to get out of (speaking specifically on the way former dream stans are often bullied for leaving) and obviously the connection you’d have to such an intense community like that is going to be a serious emotional one so I understand why a lot of them might still be holding on
so I agree, I hope if fans of dream choose to leave his community they’re treated with grace and kindness
thank you for sharing, anon, I hope you’re doing well <3
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ladybracknellssherry · 2 days ago
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Neil Gaiman is an abuser and disgusting and no one should still be trying to defend this man. I hope his victims heal and can move forward and I hope they get to see some form of justice. I hope he never gets to abuse anyone again. I hope no one wants to work with him ever again. I hope his son is safe and someone gets him out of that environment.
I already said a lot about this last summer when the tortoise podcast first came out. But since everyone on tumblr has to have an opinion, I have a few to add.
"He wrote Calliope! Why are you surprised?" "He's a Zionist! Why are you surprised?" "He was raised in the Scientology cult! Why are you surprised?" "He-"
No.
The majority of fiction about sensitive / problematic / harmful topics is neither an endorsement nor a confession.
Being terrible in one way doesn't always/necessarily mean you're going be terrible in other ways. This mindset gives "you should have seen the signs" which is kind of a lot reductive and is within spitting distance of the victim blaming county line.
After an SA, someone in my social circle said to my face as ... a joke?... "what did you expect? dude listened to dave matthews band."
???
The signs are always there. Clear as day in the rearview mirror. And those signs can vary greatly. Anything can be a sign if you want it to be, I guess.
Remember when that guy Ted Bundy worked at a Suicide Hotline? The scariest thing to me is that a common sign of violent abusers seems to be an involvement in the causes to HELP victims.
I think we go looking for flashing neon signs like this because, simply, a wolf in sheep's clothing is far more terrifying than a regular ole straightforward wolf.
And this JKR vs. NG discourse? Who is making this a "which terrible person is the more terrible person?" contest? And what the fuck is wrong with you? Hate the artist, love the media. You do you. If you want to denounce great things created by terrible people, put down the phone, tablet, or computer you're reading this on because the guy who invented the transistor was a eugenicist and a racist.
NG acted this progressive, feminist ally type persona in all kinds of ways. And meanwhile was doing terrible shit, abusing and grooming and controlling and manipulating, and ultimately causing a lot of first direct harm, and now that the truth has come out, a huge blast radius of (indirect?) harm.
JKR continues to espouse and encourage vile discourse that fans the flames of transmisia/transphobia, putting trans lives in danger. Joanne spends so much time trying to police and influence the definition of "woman" that she attacks cis women - thus further endangering BOTH trans people and cis women in her crusade to...protect...women.
They've both done horrible things. DIFFERENT HORRIBLE THINGS.
There's nuance, of course. It would be great if we stopped giving these people money. My Good Omens fandom family - I know we're hurting. I really hope you plan on pirating any of the related media you would otherwise stream, going forward. Don't worry about David and Michael, the rest of the cast and crew. They'll be fine.
Fuck all of this "it's not about you." How in the hell? This man is a public figure. The reason we make a big deal about it when public figures abuse their power is BECAUSE THIS IS ABOUT ALL OF US. The world shifts when something like this comes out - AS IT SHOULD. Feeling discomfort or rage or sadness right now is normal. Channel those intense emotions. Figure out how to make constructive use of those emotions to try to help create a safer more nurturing world. And remember why you were forced to face these feelings this time - because Neil Gaiman abused women and those women went through absolute hell but were brave enough and strong enough to come out against such a beloved famous man because they wanted to make him be held accountable. Because they don't want him to get away with this. Because no one else should ever have to go through what they went through. Honor that. Honor what they went through. In NG's case, being such a public figure, the absolute scale of coverage with these allegations and accounts, we can only hope he never gets to victimize anyone else again.
That should be the focus. Not this noise of tangential discourse, not the autistic kid who has a special interest who wants to keep posting fan art on tumblr. That kid hates him too and has already said so.
I get it that when the news first broke in July a lot of folks didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to believe it. There was a lot of rationalizing about the media outlet. Look, denial is one of the stages of grief. Fans were shocked and grieving the death of a figure they respected and looked up to. You don't have to have an unhealthy parasocial relationship with someone to feel betrayed when they do terrible things. And, my god, the time we live in. Misinformation and disinformation is rampant. Wanting more information, wanting to take some time to investigate something you've heard is actually responsible, generally speaking. But a week after that news? Two weeks? A month? 3 months? If you're still defending him, denying these allegations, and wanting more "proof" at this point? Fuck right off, you need psychological help. That's not an insult, that is concern, from a fellow human being. You are unwell. I hope you get better.
Good Omens gave me my joy back after years in abusive relationships, multiple SA's, death after death of people I loved, fucking cancer, medical hell. I can't just turn off the love of this media or the love of this fandom I've connected with. I don't want to turn that off.
I'm not going to say "Neil is an abuser - BUT he helped create my special interest." Because that ain't it. "Neil is an abuser - AND he helped create my special interest." No justifying, no waffling, no moral superiority, no flagellation. These are just two facts.
Believe the victims. Tell everyone you'll ever meet that this guy is scum. Throwing away that book you bought 10 years ago won't fix anything. Believe victims. Donate to or volunteer with DV orgs and shelters. Set and respect boundaries in your lives and fucking check in about consent. Believe victims! Don't be silent when someone you know is being "kinda creepy." Believe victims. And take care of yourselves!
x
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genericpuff · 2 days ago
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Hi, So one of my Characters was inspired by two goddess: Meilone and Despoina (Another Daughter of Demeter) and I've been trying to get more information on Despoina, I've used a Greek mythology site that I'm familiar with I even had some help from A.I search. Any tips?
Aahh, first tip, don't use AI ! At least in its current state, there's literally nothing it can factually offer you that normal Google searches can't. I know for some folks it's tempting because it kind of "summarizes" everything and makes the process of research a lot less intimidating, but the drawback to summarizing - especially through AI - is that it picks and chooses what information it thinks is helpful to you, not information that actually is accurate or true. And a lot of that information it presents to you is skimmed from other pre-existing sources that aren't necessarily accurate or true either - it skims from Reddit, Wikipedia, and other popular discussion sources to come up with an approximation of information, but approximations can and often are still made up of weak parts. Plus, at the end of the day, the AI is still pulling from things that exist, so even if it's telling you stuff that's factually true, it isn't anything you couldn't have found on your own.
The reason you're struggling to pull up anything on Despoina is because "Despoina" doesn't really exist, at least not as some concrete deity the same way Zeus and Demeter do. "Despoina" only has a handful of sources mentioning her, and a good chunk of them refer to her not as Demeter's daughter, but as an epithet.
Understand that sometimes not finding enough information isn't a fault of our own for "not looking hard enough" - sometimes it's because that information just currently does not exist, especially when it comes to the matter of ancient cultural studies, where what's available is strictly limited to what we've discovered and what's been made publicly accessible. In those situations, you really just gotta work with what you've got, and do your best in digging up information outside of the most popular sources, because you never know what you could be missing out on simply because Google decided not to show you.
I'm gonna go on one of my classic tangents here but it's a topic that's very interesting to me! So I'm just gonna dive into it, but I'll include a jump for those who don't want this clogging up their feed :>
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When you really get into the meat of studying Greek mythology - or really any cultural mythology - it's unfortunately not as cut and dry as reading up on lore or skimming a Wikipedia page. There are thousands of years of cultural interaction, trading of oral stories, re-interpretations through cultural adoption and/or colonization, political satirizing and/or re-tooling to suit specific sociopolitical views, and religious influence at play (among MANY other influences) which make up what we now understand as "Greek mythology" in its simplest terms.
Much of what we still study today is debatable as to what is truly "Greek", because of all the cultural mixing that was happening between the Greeks, Romans, Egyptians, Africans, etc. that resulted not only in its adopters creating new versions of older Greek stories, but "Greek myth" in and of itself being influenced by the societies that came before it. I've mentioned this before, but even Homer is a hot topic of debate, mostly discussing whether or not he was a real person, or if - like Despoina - the name "Homer" is just an epithet to refer to one or more poets whose works were preserved as culturally relevant interpretations of the stories and beliefs that were being passed around at that time. These are what make up the Homeric Hymns, but think about this - those hymns were in and of themselves retellings. Homer - whether one tangible person or many ambiguous voices as a collective - was simply putting stories that were already being told orally to paper, from their own perspective, which we managed to uncover and preserve over the course of thousands of years, during which we would continue to re-interpret it based on new translations and discoveries that would shift our context of knowledge.
With all that in mind, now think of all the stories that were lost, either because modern scholars haven't uncovered them, or because Homer just never thought to include them, or possibly didn't know of them himself. Think of all the stories that we assume to be true which could have had entirely different meanings when told as bedtime stories over the fire, or as epics of war to inspire soldiers, or as romantic poems sung to an audience.
I know everything I just said is a lot and is, in and of itself, wholly interpretive and subjective. But think about all that, and then understand why I'm so wary about using AI to do the work of the analysis for you. Not only does it remove so much necessary context from discussion that's already missing context in many areas, it undercuts the joy of discovery.
All that said, Despoina is, as far as we currently know, theorized to be one of two things:
1.) A daughter of Demeter who may or may not have been born during The Hymn to Demeter, who was worshipped as a deity within the Eleusinian Mysteries but - due to her nature as a deity of a secretive cult - does not have much evidence to support what she could have been specifically worshipped for, as her worshippers were sworn to secrecy. "Despoina" may not have even been her real name, just a name used to refer to her among cultists or anyone who wasn't a part of the congregation to ensure her true name was protected (similarly to Kore and Persephone, she could be a deity with "two names" that serve two different purposes and interpretations).
2.) An epithet, meaning "mistress", to refer to one or several different women, usually fertility goddesses, including Demeter, Persephone, and even Aphrodite and Hecate. This doesn't necessarily mean that "Despoina" as a goddess didn't exist, just that the word "Despoina" can also be used to refer to goddesses within the cult to keep their names a secret. And if Despoina did exist as her own deity... again, we don't know her true name, just the title that was used to refer to her, whoever "she" was.
The thing is, there is tangible material that supports either or both arguments. And even if more evidence came out to support one over the other, it doesn't invalidate either of them - this is just how it is with mythologies and religion, different cultures and tribes and groups would hold different beliefs, and the beliefs that reign supreme are often determined by the highest power. This is obviously why so many Roman interpretations of the Greek gods are now the "default" interpretations, because Rome was a very powerful empire that had the ability to absorb other mythologies, create their own adaptions of them, and then enforce them as the natural order. The popularity of Catholicism as an organized religion is owed to the Roman Empire, and even it still has its divided subgroups who have separated from the main doctrines of Catholicism due to having different beliefs.
Even think of the Bible, which many people hold up as the "gold standard" despite never having even read it. They subsequently don't understand that what we know as "the Bible" is a curated library of works that were preserved over hundreds of years, first documenting the trials and tribulations of the Jews and the building of Israel, and eventually leading to Jesus Christ and his fellow fandom mutuals (the apostles) coming in and deciding "nah that Old Testament blows, let's make a new one! No more circumcisions! Bread and wine and bacon for everyone!" (<<< I am obviously paraphrasing here for the sake of efficiency and a little bit of levity lmao) This is why, to this day, we get so many people still arguing over whether or not Jesus hated gay people, because some point to specific scriptures written by apostles like Paul and Matthew, while others point to scriptures from the Old Testament which pre-existed Jesus by centuries.
As much as we may refer to a "canon" within Greek mythology, those commonly known facts are still based on previous interpretations that in and of themselves were constantly debated and fought over. People even went to literal war over this shit, because it turns out, human beings haven't really changed all that much - we're loyal to our most favorite fandoms, and crucify anyone who disagrees with our established canons. And none of that is to patronize the cultural, spiritual, and political importance of these stories - more so just to point out why it's so hard to track down clear cut information for certain myths, because how legitimate those myths even were within their own context and time is unsubstantiated and debatable.
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TL ; DR: If you're making characters inspired by an ambiguous deity who doesn't have a lot of evidence to support them, just do what you can to find the evidence that exists, and maintain your own level of understanding and transparency that you can't possibly accurately depict a character who's either directly based off a Greek myth deity or simply inspired by one when what is and isn't accurate is still often up for debate by people who are actually trained and paid to debate these things. On the one hand, it means someone will likely be bound to argue with your interpretation and it may leave you searching for ways to improve upon any misrepresentations; on the other, know that this is just passing on the torch of a tradition that has been practiced by humans ever since the first cave drawing and we are all, by and large, doing what we've always been naturals at doing - expressing our views and perspectives of the world that make sense to ourselves, and then getting yelled at when it doesn't make sense to others LMAO
Be earnest and humble in your attempts to tell a story that feels true to you, and remember that the process of discovery - the research - is half the journey, and half the fun :> Even if you get things wrong, be willing to take ownership of it and view it as an opportunity to learn even more. Therein lies the true joy of creating - the endless potential for discovery.
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rotationalsymmetry · 18 hours ago
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I have definitely seen a lot of posts like that.
I think most posts that involve the word "you" would be better off phrased differently. Understandably, when people hear "you" they take it to include them, personally. That's why posts with "you" get so much attention, people respond more alertly when someone is addressing them directly, especially by name but "you" works as well.
If someone writes "get outside and go for a walk for 30 minutes every day, you'll feel better" then of course people reading it are going to assume that the "you" includes them. That's what "you" normally means. And if it doesn't apply to them -- they can't walk/can't walk that much, they've got the sort of depression where they won't feel better, it doesn't work for some other reason -- then a lot of people in that situation are going to at least WANT to say "that's wrong". And then the poster gets all defensive and says, in essence, "well when I said YOU I didn't mean YOU, obviously."
Which could very easily be avoided by not saying "you". I started walking for half an hour every day, and I feel so much better for it. Most people will feel better if they go on a walk outside for half an hour each day. I think it would be good for me to go on a walk each day, so I'm going to try that. Etc.
I've also seen a post going around about there being a lot of popular m/m ships that aren't very good, that contains the line "you just hate women" and then being upset that people took umbrage to being told they hate women. And it's so hard to avoid this kind of thing, because just in the process of writing this post I want to say "if you don't want people to take your posts personally, don't imply that the post is in fact about them, personally" and there I am, using a "you" statement. Who am I even talking to?
i’m not saying it doesn’t ever happen but i’d be willing to bet that a substantial number of people making those “you can’t make a post about anything on here without someone jumping out at you to complain that you forgot to account for [x] hyperspecific experience” posts are reacting badly to having people challenge ableist assumptions going into whatever they said lol
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loverangels · 21 hours ago
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jealous sirius black x reader I beg
jealous, jealous boy
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pairings: sirius black x fem!reader
a/n: hope you like this I rushed it so much 😭🩷
The bass thudded through the floor, a constant, pulsing rhythm that seemed to vibrate in your chest. The air in the club was heavy with sweat and cheap perfume, but none of it really mattered because Sirius Black was by your side, his arm casually slung over the back of your chair.
He was grinning at you, that wicked, lopsided grin that always made your stomach twist in ways you tried not to think about too hard. His dark hair was falling into his eyes, and he looked so effortlessly good, dressed in a leather jacket and ripped jeans, his shirt clinging to him just enough to drive you insane.
The thing about Sirius was, he knew he was trouble. He’d been trouble from the moment you’d met him years ago, a too-pretty boy with a sharp tongue and an even sharper smirk. But lately, it was like that trouble was directed entirely at you. The teasing, the lingering touches, the low murmurs of love and sweetheart—he was shameless about it. And you were shamelessly falling for it.
Tonight wasn’t supposed to be different. It was just a night out with the group: James and Lily were glued together as always, Marlene and Dorcas were lost in their own world on the dance floor, and Remus was perched in the corner nursing a pint and watching the chaos like he was above it all.
And then there was Sirius, sitting so close to you in the booth that your thighs were pressed together, his head tilted toward yours as he murmured something that was probably meant to be funny but was absolutely designed to get you to look at him.
“You’re too good for this place, you know,” he said, his voice low enough that it sent a shiver down your spine.
“And yet here I am,” you shot back, arching a brow. “With you.”
He smirked, leaning back. “Lucky me.
You rolled your eyes, trying to hide the way your cheeks flushed. “Hold that thought, Black,” you said, slipping out of the booth. “Don’t get into too much trouble while I’m gone.”
“No promises,” he called after you, his voice laced with amusement.
You made your way through the crowded club, pushing past bodies that swayed and stumbled to the music. The bathroom was a mess of bright lights and a broken soap dispenser, but you didn’t linger. You washed your hands quickly, eager to get back to the booth—and to Sirius.
But when you stepped out of the bathroom and glanced toward the bar, the sight that greeted you made you stop in your tracks.
There he was, leaning casually against the counter, his back to you. And hanging off his arm—clinging, really—was some blonde girl you didn’t recognize. She was tall, sleek, the kind of girl who probably spent more on her outfit than you did in a month. She was laughing at something he’d said, twirling a strand of hair around her finger, her other hand trailing up his arm.
And Sirius—Sirius was smirking down at her, that easy, careless smirk you’d thought was meant for you.
Your stomach twisted, a sharp, ugly thing that felt a lot like jealousy.
You weren’t sure what you’d expected. Sirius had always had this effect on people, this gravitational pull that made them flock to him. He could charm anyone, and he usually did. But after weeks of teasing and flirting, of him calling you “love” and “darling” like it actually meant something, you’d started to believe you were different.
Apparently not.
Your jaw tightened as you turned away from the bar, your eyes scanning the dance floor. If Sirius wanted to play games, you could play them too.
Your gaze landed on a tall, dark-haired guy near the edge of the crowd. He wasn’t bad-looking—broad shoulders, sharp jawline—and more importantly, he was already watching you with interest.
Perfect.
You walked up to him, your heart pounding for all the wrong reasons, and flashed him a smile. “Want to dance?”
He looked surprised for half a second before he nodded. “Yeah, of course.”
He placed his hands on your waist, pulling you closer as the two of you started to move. The music was loud, the rhythm infectious, and it wasn’t hard to lose yourself in the beat. You let him guide you, let his hands linger on your hips, your fingers brushing against his chest.
It wasn’t about him, though. It was about Sirius, and the way you could feel his eyes on you from across the room.
You glanced toward the bar, just to confirm what you already knew. Sirius was staring at you, his expression unreadable. The blonde girl was still talking, but he wasn’t paying attention to her. His jaw was tight, his gray eyes dark, and he looked like he was about two seconds away from losing it.
Good.
You leaned in closer to your dance partner, your hand resting on his chest as you tilted your head up, pretending to laugh at something he said. That was all it took.
Sirius was across the dance floor in seconds, his movements deliberate and predatory. He stopped in front of you, cutting between you and the guy with a hard, dangerous smirk.
“Alright, mate,” he said, his voice low and sharp. “Let me have a dance with my girl.”
The guy blinked, confused. “Your girl? She asked me to dance.”
Sirius’s smirk vanished, replaced by something harder, darker. “I wasn’t asking.”
You opened your mouth to intervene, but before you could say a word, Sirius’s fist flew. The crack of it connecting with the guy’s jaw was loud, and the force of it sent him stumbling back, clutching his face.
“Sirius!” you shouted, shoving against his chest. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“He had his hands all over you,” Sirius shot back, his voice still tight with anger.
“And you had some blonde draped all over you five minutes ago!” you snapped, your voice rising.
Sirius blinked, the fight draining from him in an instant. “That’s what this is about?”
“You’re unbelievable,” you muttered, grabbing his arm and dragging him off the dance floor. You didn’t stop until you’d hauled him into the hallway by the bathrooms, shoving him against the wall. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“I was thinking I can’t stand seeing anyone else with you,” he said, his voice quieter now.
You froze, your chest heaving as his words sank in.
“I’ve been trying to ignore it, but I can’t,” he continued, his gray eyes locking on yours. “You drive me mad, you know that? You always have. And tonight, seeing him touch you—I lost it. I’m sorry.”
You stared at him, your heart pounding. “You can’t just—just say things like that, Sirius.”
He stepped closer, his hand brushing your cheek. “I can’t stop, love. I’m in love with you. Have been for years.”
The air left your lungs. “You…”
Before you could think it through, you grabbed the front of his shirt and kissed him.
It wasn’t soft or hesitant—it was messy and desperate and perfect. His hands found your waist, pulling you closer as your fingers tangled in his hair. When you finally pulled away, both of you were breathless, his grin so wide it made your knees weak.
“Finally,” he muttered, leaning his forehead against yours.
You rolled your eyes, grabbing his hand and dragging him back to the group. By the time you returned, both of you looked thoroughly ruffled, and James was grinning like he’d won the lottery.
“Have a good chat?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows.
“Shut up, Potter,” Sirius muttered, but his grin gave him away.
The others burst into laughter, and for the first time all night, everything felt exactly as it should.
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obsessedhoneycomb · 2 days ago
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Fate
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George Russell x fem!reader
Summary: One time - it’s a coincidence. But even that might be a precise work of destiny.
Warnings: none
Word count: 1.6k
A/N: What was meant to be a short blurb ended in something more. Really love when I get the idea of the conversation between characters and I have to write the story around it. Enjoy it!
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Meeting him at the airport in Atlanta seemed like an accident. That time you only smiled at each other, casually chatting over the traffic at the check in.
Next time it was weird. Busy airport in London, you tired as hell, sitting in the lounge after your flight was delayed for about three hours already.
"Mind if I sit?" the deep voice interrupted your annoyed thougts, ready to snarl something harsh at whoever wanted to disrupt your peace. Only to see him.
Immediately you sit up, brush your messy hair from your face a little, smiling softly. "Oh, of course, just sit."
He sat beside you, sipping his coffee from a Starbucks cup.
"Starbucks, really?"
Looking at the cup, where the name "George" was written, he just smiled softly. "At this early hour, there wasn’t any better coffee shop opened, so this must be enough."
You chuckled at his words, your gaze lingering over the cup. "So... George?"
He looked up to meet your eyes. "What? Yeah, sorry, I'm George."
Offering his hand to you in a handshake, you also said him your name.
"Well, how long are you waiting?" he asked while taking a sip of his coffee.
"An hour already, and another three are just before me. Today is a lucky day."
"Maybe it is and you don't know it yet." his smile was mysterious, like if he was implying something.
You just shook your head with soft smile. "It’s really weird to meet you for the second time in a month."
"I'm just at more places than you can think. I travel a lot, so the possibilities of meeting me are high."
"Mhm.. and where are you heading to?"
"Originally, I was about to catch a flight to Monaco, but my plans changed, so I'm off to Spain."
"Oh, Monaco? So you’re some kind of millionaire?"
"No, I.. I just sort of live there." He chuckled, not really into conversation about his reasons he lived there.
You looked at him suspiciously, but your tired brain brushed it off.
///
Third time was a charm. As you got through the gates at the aiport in Singapore, the humid weather hitting you like a train, when you step outisde to catch a cab. While you were looking through your phone to find a location of your hotel, you bumped into someone. Trying to apologize, you looked up to see, who you bumped into. George.
Your brows shot up in surprise and he seemed surprised too. "Well, hello."
He put his hands over your shoulders, looking a little concerned. "Are you okay? I wasn’t looking and the bump was rather hard."
His worry flattered you, especially when he was soooo good looking as always. But now he had his hair more grown out, styling them in the soft curls.
"No, I'm okay, that's alright."
"Do you want a ride? My driver is here, so I can get you to your hotel if you want. You look a little lost, if I'm being honest."
"That would be nice. It's my first time here, so I'm not used to the weather, which is exhausting and I feel drained already."
"Oh, tell me about it." his smile was smug, as if he was hiding something, but you haven’t noticed.
The ride to the hotel was quiet as you took in the interior of the car. It was black sleek Mercedes, god knows which series or year, you weren’t exactly into cars or that stuff.
Last time in London you chatted through that hours you were waiting for your flight. But you never exchanged numbers. Strange, wasn’t it? However your connection seemed to be genuine and you kind of loved the thing how it was mysterious.
“Miss, we’re here.” The driver interrupted your reel of thoughts as you looked outside of the car, to see your hotel. Turning your gaze at George, for the first time you felt strange for leaving him. What if this is the last time you see him?
“Will I ever see you again?”
George took in her frowning expression, his smile warm. “You never know.”
In the different language it was saying I’m not giving you my number.
You just nod. “Thanks. For a ride. It was nice to see you, again.”
After that, you got off the car along with your suitcase, disappearing into the hotel without ever looking back, because then George would see your sad face. It was stupid. This man, who you met for a three times and you think that you have some claim on him? No. He was just a stranger, who happened to coincidentally meet you.
///
Right after New Years you flew back to London, getting on with your tight schedule of your work. Looking through your iPad, you sat at the small coffee shop, sipping your coffee, not giving attention to your surroundings.
“I guess this coffee is definitely better than that damn Starbucks.” Deep voice speaking at your table got you looking up from your work, only to catch his beautiful smile.
“I might start to think that you stalk me.” Your amused smile making him laugh.
“I’m sorry, it just happens that I’m meant to cross the path with you from time to time. Nothing personal. But I noticed you sitting here, so I thought that saying hi would be nice.”
“Yeah, thanks. Good to see you.”
The awkward silence felt so loud between you two.
“Well, good luck with anything you’re working on now.” His smile was soft, making your stomach feel the butterflies, his lips over the lid of the coffee cup, sipping the coffee.
You gave him a kind smile, your eyes trying not to reflect the disappointment in your heart. “Thank you. You too, mysterious stranger.”
George just chuckled and walked out of the coffee shop.
Sitting there, looking to the void, you thought for a moment to run after him, to jump into his embrace and just like in any cheesy romcom you would kiss like a fated soulmates. But quickly you fell back to the ground, your life far from perfect and this was just another of coincidences.
///
While you were getting to your hotel by the tube at the evening hours, curiosity got the best of you and you tried your best with your stalking skills. Writing into google something like George and 63, because that was a number you saw on his phone case, so it definitely meant something important, you nearly passed out on the floor, your mouth went wide open.
George Russell was a formula one driver. Mercedes. Mesmerising blue eyes and tall toned figure. God’s finest work.
And that was a moment you took your chance to twist those coincidences into your favour. Getting out of the tube at the nearest station, you practically ran through the escalator and now you were standing outside somewhere in London. Looking through some tabloids, you found the location of his hotel he was staying in. It was bold to go there, but it was always him, who happened to meet you and now it was for you to meet him.
He was staying in one of those fancy and expensive hotels he had a sponsorship with. Trying to compose yourself, you managed to get to the reception, getting attention from a guy at the desk.
“Hello, I’m here to meet with Mr. Russell, he told me to come here to his hotel, I’m his personal photographer.” You were pretty confident and impressive, even handing over your photograph licence, which was very good luck you had it on yourself along with your expensive camera.
The guy looked at you with measured gaze, suspicious for a moment, but then he clicked something in the computer and gave you a keycard to the elevator which led to the secluded entrance for the special guests.
“Here it is, Mr. Russell expressed himself that he’s awaiting his photographer, so you’re clear to go.”
The guy smiled politely, you thanked him, while your mind was buzzing with how LUCKY you were. Or was is just another coincidence?
No, it was fate.
Elevator dinged at the level of the special area, you got out of it, walking to the door with, hold on for a moment, a number 63 on it. Shaking your head in amusement taking in a sharp breath, you knocked at the door. What was you even doing? This was crazy. Nonsense. You should go back to your hotel and never come back. You’re embarrassing yourself.
The door opened, revealing George in the comfortable slacks and hoodie. His eyes went wide, when he saw you.
Your breath caught in your chest, your eyes wide the same as his. “Hey.”
“Hey. What are you doing here?” He wasn’t upset, he looked much more… happy?
“Long story short, I found out you’re the formula one driver, then a location of your hotel and I managed to convince the receptionist, that I’m your personal photographer. Crazy, right?”
Talking fast because of your nerves, you chuckled, a little unsure about what you just did. Was it too much?
His hand reached to your cheek, gently tracing his fingers across it. “I guess that fate is trying to set us together. This isn’t a coincidence anymore…”
“Well, it’s funny, but I think so too. You’re constantly on my mind even though I don’t want to admit it. I long for your presence since that chat at the London airport. I wished, that we had more time in Singapore. Can I at least stay a bit longer, right here right now?”
His smile made your heart flutter in your chest, his hands cupping your cheeks now, his tall figure towering over you.
“Stay forever.”
And with that he pulled you into his room, closing the door, not letting you go for another lifetime.
-
Please don’t use my writings without my permission! Pictures found on Pinterest.
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