#for some reason for someone i think is absolutely adorable i've only drawn him to look cool | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

zablife · 16 days ago

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@pacifymebby You have no idea the excitement I feel when I see a new chapter of this series! I'm so in love with your description of Bonnie and your immense talent for story telling. You always leave me wanting more (which is prob why I ramble in the comments, hoping you'll give me some bonus material 😉)

You've captured Sonya's melancholy beautifully in that opening scene. The way heartache and loneliness creep in despite being surrounded by the laughter of her family 😢 Freddie is never far from her thoughts and I imagine that will only intensify as her pregnancy progresses in daily reminder.

"Had he ever really believed that we could escape our families and run away together? Or had they all simply been whispered dreams to string me along, to keep pulling the wool over my eyes as his family made plans against mine." Oof, this hit hard bc it's the first time I've heard her waver in devotion toward her lover, questioning his motives more thoroughly. I can't help my own naïveté thinking Freddie would NEVER, but now you've planted a seed of doubt. (How dare you!!)

As much as I adore the thought of our Romeo and Juliet, I'm still drawn to those tender moments with Bonnie. His easygoing manner with her is exactly what she needs to pull herself out of a dark spiral. How could you not fall for someone who is such a constant source of support? However, I found it intriguing that she frames this as mercy, her sensitive yet stubborn side revealing itself. For some reason these moments make me believe she'll end up with Bonnie bc she doth protest too much for someone who doesn't care.

That last scene in the library, surrounded by her mother's possessions, absolutely gutted me. (Need a moment to dry my eyes thinking of a sentimental Tommy saving it all btw.) Reading those journals to reestablish connection was a bittersweet moment of yearning. (Tbh all I could think was how badly this girl needs a mother to guide her thru motherhood.) For a moment I lost myself in the loving gestures captured in time, the girls' portraits and locks of hair.

But I have to admit the deterioration of thought in the journal, evidenced by the repetition of the same three tarot cards, jarred me back to reality. And I gasped as I read those last lines about the similarities Polly must have already glimpsed in Sonya's cards. I'm filled with dread wondering how else she might emulate her mother. Curled in the fetal position waiting to hear what happens to our sweet Sonya next 😬 Don't make her suffer (too much) pls 🙏🏼

Edit: I forgot to add what a quiet, yet powerful moment it was when Bonnie catches her with her hand over her womb. The gentle way he reties her ballet slipper, telling her to be careful on the stairs had me like 🥹 God, I adore him 😍

t r o u b l e / chapter thirty seven

Sonya

When I wandered downstairs in a pair of pointelle knitted socks and one of my brother's tshirts the house was fairly quiet. Not for lack of people in the kitchen and sitting outside in the garden however.

The sun had cut through the clouds early and by the time it had risen the garden had reached a pleasant warmth that had drawn most of my family out into the sunlit terrace. John was half asleep, beer in hand as he reclined on a sun lounger, shirt off catching a tan. He looked far too relaxed for a man supposedly at war but when I saw him I couldn't help but feel glad for him.

Esme was sitting on a picnic rug on the lawn beside him, all the bairns scattered around them, the baby feeding at her breast. There was music playing from the stereo inside and little Kitty was dancing around, her little pigtails half fallen out already.

"Mornin trouble," grinned John when he saw me, shielding his eyes from the sun as he pushed himself up to get a look at me.

"Morning..." I said quietly, searching the garden for signs of my other brother's who should have been back by now. "Is Tommy back?" I asked already knowing the answer before I'd been given it.

"Nah," he said, "nothin to worry about though Fen," he added, "been held up a bit but it's fine, he'll be back in a day or two,"

"Right..." I said slowly, eyeing him sceptically, noticing then how mightily pissed off Esme looked with him, how even Ada had rolled her eyes.

"You don't tell someone not to worry when there's nothing to worry about John," said Ada with a smirk and a shake of her head before she opened her arms out to me and beckoned me over.

When I joined her on the rug she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me backwards into a hug, trapping me between her legs and arms so that I couldn't escape when she started asking me questions in a hushed voice designed to embarrass me and pressure me into telling the truth.

"Pol tells me you spent all day yesterday off in the woods with a certain boxer..." She whispered with a teasing grin.

"He's been told to follow me everywhere Ada so that's hardly a surprise..." I smirked back rolling my eyes at her.

"hasn't told him to carry you home though has he..." She said smugly her shit eating grin so wide and bright when I turned around with a gasp and a glare.

"Ada!" I hissed, "shut up!" I giggled giving myself away entirely.

"Ooo," she giggled, "careful Fen you sound a bit embarrassed there..." She teased me her eyes lit up with mischief as my cheeks turned a deep red shade of scarlet.

"Ada!" I cried hoping she'd shut up before anyone else noticed what she was saying.

How I longed to be back in the woods then, just me and Bonnie, or me and Pol, sitting by the campfire, peace and quiet. No big sisters trying to tease me, no older brother listening in with a shit eating grin on his lips.

"Oh aye Ada she definitely fancies him..." He called over, "shoulda seen the way she was staring at him trainin yesterday, bloody scandalous..." He sniggered as I picked up the nearest discarded toy and threw it at him. A wooden building block sent flying towards his stupid face.

Of course he dodged it and was all the more smug for it as he reached down to pick it up and toss it back.

And just like that we were fighting the way we had when we were just kids. Me John and Ada, the three of us scrapping in the garden, throwing toys at each other, chasing one another round in bloody circles, screeching and shouting, goading one another into rushing our attacks and scuppering our aim.

"Bloody hell!" He cried when Ada finally hit him with a building block, the wood bouncing off his arm. "Jesus Christ woman that was brutal!"

"Deserved it!"

"Were on the same bloody side!" He cried back rubbing his arm theatrically, enjoying the sound of his children's laughter as they watched us, watched their dad being an idiot.

It felt good to laugh like that. To be playing outside in the garden, giggling, tears in my eyes as I laughed at John who had now fallen dramatically to the floor, clutching his arm. He was acting up for the kids, but I knew that he must have been feeling the same way. Relieved to be so light-hearted, even if it was just for this moment. Messing around like he was a teenager, rolling around in the grass to make the littlens laugh. It felt so good to be smiling so wide. So good to feel the vibrations of my laughter through my body. And as I settled down and took my place on the rug I felt a weight lift from my shoulders for a moment or two. Because for a moment or two, watching Esme rise to help him her stupid husband up off the floor, laughing as he tricked her and tugged her down on top of him, play fighting her in the grass until the kids all clambered up to save their mum. For a moment or two it was easy to believe that we were a normal family.

That there was no threat to our lives. That our other brothers weren't off trying to save my sister from God knows what in London. That we didn't have any enemies. That there was no war that was keeping us trapped here. For a minute it was easy to pretend that this was just a little weekend trip home to visit, that I'd be able to go home, return to my little flat with Sylvia, go back to school, to rehearsals, spend my evenings dancing across a west end stage.

And then just like that I was thinking about him again.

Because my little life in London had been perfect and I couldn't ignore the reason for that. Freddie. Freddie who had kissed me so tenderly, held me so gently, fucked me so passionately. All those murmurs and whispers of love. All the promises he had made me. All the times he'd promised me we wouldn't always have to hide. That one day he'd take me somewhere far away where we could live peacefully, romantically.

I felt guilty for questioning those promises now. Now that there was a bloodthirsty war waging between our families. Now that his uncles had sworn death upon every member of the Shelby family, including me. Including the baby growing inside me, Freddie's baby. Would he still love me when he saw me next, would he still want me knowing that I carried his child. All that responsibility, the threat to his youth. To the future he had whispered promises of to me. Had he ever really believed that we could escape our families and run away together? Or had they all simply been whispered dreams to string me along, to keep pulling the wool over my eyes as his family made plans against mine.

I knew Freddie was involved in his families work, knew he had just as dangerous a reputation as my brothers... As any of his too. I couldn't help but doubt his devotion, his honesty a little when I thought about how carefully they must have been planning their attack on my cousin. Would Freddie have known it was going to happen that day? Would he have known it was happening whilst I lay in his arms?

My hand slipped over my lower belly, resting over my womb as the troubled feeling inside me swirled and threatened to drag me down into a dark place once again.

It had felt so good to laugh, but only for as long as we had been laughing. Only for as long as the playful smile had lingered on my sister's lips.

When she looked at me again it was with worry in her eyes. Her eyes which had noticed my hand, noticed the worry which had washed over me. When she smiled at me this time it was with sympathy. I wondered how much she knew.

"Where is Bonnie boy anyway?" Asked John then as he settled back down sitting on the edge of the sun lounger with Esme tucked under his arm, returning to the beer he'd abandoned before, holding it to her lips to taunt her. When she swatted him away he sniggered like a teenage boy.

"I don't know," I said thinking about the lad I'd left sleeping in my sister's bed that morning. How peaceful he had appeared to be, his curls scruffed by the pillow, his face stone still as he rested, as if he were hand chiseled by one of the greats. "Perhaps he's still sleeping..." I added trying to appear nonchalant as I returned my attention to the children, to Kitty who had come to join us on the rug and was offering me her hair brush, asking me to to fix her hair for her.

"Kitty love ask her later, you'll only go and ruin it whilst you're playin..."

"That's half the fun John.." I smirked sitting her comfortably between my legs as I set about trying to untangle her messy pigtails.

"You gonna come watch us train again today then love?" He asked me, teasing light in his eyes as he began to tell the girls how I'd hardly been able to watch them sparring the day before. How I'd probably been worried John was going to mess Bonnie's pretty face up.

His exaggerated version of events left my cheeks burning with a blush. Scorned me a little too, because they seemed so convinced of my crush on Bonnie Gold, all so easily forgetting the man to whom my heart really belonged. The one I'd been sneaking around with for months, falling in love with secretly. The one who had begged me to come and find him. The one I couldn't deny.

Did they really think me so fickle? Or perhaps not. Perhaps it was worse than that. Perhaps they didn't really believe the depths of my love for Freddie. Perhaps they thought it nothing but a sordid fling. Fucking for the thrill of fucking the enemy.

"I have training of my own to do John..." I said losing my smile as I thought about Freddie, "don't have time to watch you to showing off..."

"Aye thats what I'm always telling him an all Sonya..."

Bonnie's smirking tone caught me by surprise. The sound of his voice and the sight of his trainers in the grass making me jump, leaving me to look up at him from where I sat with wide eyes and the beginnings of a blush.

"Think we can probably take it in turns though eh lass, give each other some constructive criticism?"

But with the feeling of my brother and sister watching me, their eyes flickering between me and Bonnie with amusement, I found that my own voice had slipped away somewhere. That I couldn't do anything but blink back at him totally stunned.

"Aye is that what you call it..." Murmured John, earning a gasp and sharp smack from Esme, his cry only muted by her giggle.

Ada giggled too, speaking up for me when she realised quite how stunned I was.

"And what would you know about Swan Lake Bonnie Gold?" She asked him with a clever smirk. Her eyes sparkling as she waited for his reply. Watched him hesitate the way his teasing had left me to moments before.

"Enough to know she don't need to practice half as hard as she thinks..." He nodded to me with a smirk, his eyes bright like Ada's as he settled down on the lawn at our feet and lay back on his elbows. His lazy curls fell into his eyes and he tried to push them back to no avail as he tilted his head up to look at the sky.

The clouds were thin, hardly there at all and the heat coming off the sun was a cozy, dry heat. The kind that makes you want to stretch out and relax. The kind that makes you want to reach for an Aperol or a Margarita.

"Aye I can believe that!" Agreed John finally returning to his sun lounger, poor Esme carried along by him and plonked down in his lap as he sat on the edge, the weight of them both together almost tipping the balance. "Our little lass eh, always were the families little miracle weren't you, all the brains and all the talent..."

I hated it when he waxed lyrical about me and Sylvie like that, because it was always John who did. Always John who had been soft enough to say it out loud, that he loved the bones of us and thought the sun shone out his little sister's. But it always ended the same way, once he started on that train we always wound up in the same place, and I hated it.

"Hard to believe you're a Shelby ain't it..." He said, the words leaving the same sorry taste in my mouth, though it didn't linger for long and for a reason which surprised me.

The reason being Bonnie Gold and the way he chuckled so easily, grinned as he shook his head, so naturally, laughed like he really did think John was joking.

"Y'joking right?" He asked, looking between John and Ada, who was smiling with that canny smile she'd always had. She seemed so secretly pleased about something, like she'd noticed something no one else had.

"You're joking..." Said John, shrugging the lad off, hammering the nail in harder a second later with another thoughtless joke, "I'd be havin words with the milkman if it wasn't for Syl..." He said, only silenced when I stood up sharply and Ada tried to snatch at my ankle before I shot off across the patio.

I heard someone thump and scold him but I didn't come back when he shouted after me, all "give over fen lass you know am only jokin!"

In that moment the blood had rushed to my cheeks so furiously, the pain in my chest so sudden and sharp that all I'd been able to do was what I had done. Run away.

So I stormed through the house in a flurry of wounded pride and scornful tears. My heart fluttering with the sorry ache those kinds of conversations always stirred in me. How I wasn't really one of them... Not so much the black sheep of the family, simply not family... Only family because my twin has earned us the right to be called Shelby, with her cunning, wily type of elegance.

If it wasn't for her I wouldn't be a Shelby at all.

Maybe it was a silly joke, the kind of thoughtless remark only John could make with a giggle the way he had. But it still hurt and it still reminded me why I'd been so easily courted by "our" enemy.

If Freddie had been manipulating me it was obvious to me why it had been so easy... And if he wasn't, as I desperately needed to hope now, it was still obvious to me why I'd found room in my heart for a family who hated mine so much... If I wasn't really one of them, if the Shelby blood really ran so thin through my veins, then why would it matter if I started sleeping with the enemy... If I let his warm and tender hands clasp mine in the middle of the night.

I didn't feel like I was being followed but I knew that Bonnie wasn't far behind me. I knew he'd have pushed himself dutifully up off the ground and gone dawdling behind me. Never allowed to let the liability out of his sight. Knowing this however didn't make me slow down or check over my shoulder. Instead I ignored the thought, pushed it to the back of my mind and headed down to that gym my brother had supposedly had made for me and Sylvie. Locked the door behind me, connected my phone to the speakers and began to run through my warm ups. Flowing between poses as gracefully as I could, though when I caught my reflection in the floor to ceiling mirrors I saw only a worn out, tattered version of the girl I'd been only two weeks before, when I'd been skating the thin surface of perfection precarious and carefully. Whoever I'd been then, when they'd been printing my name in the arts segments and discussing my suitability for the role of Odette online. Speculating whether my naivety would make for a convincing, vulnerable performance, or whether it would leave me shaking and shying away at all the wrong moments.

I trembled en pointe, watching myself with such an intensity, knowing exactly the conclusion they'd come to if they could see me now.

I didn't notice the door twitch when someone tried it only to give up moments later. Too focussed on myself, my delicate baby bird limbs unfurling from my body as I fluttered and crested, moved myself in inhuman ways. The handle didn't move again, but I wasn't really watching the door. I was watching myself in the mirror. Watching my body bend and twist as elegantly as I could manipulate myself to move. As delicately as I could flutter and shiver through the phases.

And somewhere between the steps of my dance, I stopped thinking about my brother, stopped thinking about Sylvie and the family and the war. Lent back into the symphony which filled the room. Let the music hold me. My fingers felt like someone else's fingers as they brushed up over my ribs, my muscles yearned for the ache which came with every stretch too far, every desperate grasp at beauty. And by the time I settled on the sprung floor, my body undulating with ripples of tragedy, I was breathless and floating momentarily somewhere outside of myself. Looking down at myself folded over on the floor. Little tears in my eyes because I'd tried too hard again only to skim perfection and not quite hold on.

The song finished for the who-knows-how-many time. Left me in silence, sitting forlorn on the floor.

And this time when someone tried the door handle I heard it, pretended I hadn't heard it, but sat there listening to it - the loudest sound in the whole room - waiting on the inevitable.

"Sonya lass..." I heard Bonnie's voice through the door and found the relief a little surprising. It wasn't that I hadn't expected it to be him, I was hardly shocked to find he was still out there waiting like the dedicated guard dog my brother was paying him to be. It was that I was surprised to find myself smiling at the sound of his voice... Almost guilty feeling that I was glad it was him waiting outside and not John or Ada or Esme. "I'm gonna let myself in now if you don't mind..." He said, didn't sound impatient. In fact it sounded like he was smiling. That growing ever familiar boyish grin, knowing and easy going. One which was apparently contagious...

"You don't have to do that..." I called back, rising to my feet in a worn out daydream, "I'll just..." I trailed off as I reached the door and turned the latch to let him in.

When I opened the door he was stood with a little smirk on his lips, leaning in the doorway, his elbow on the frame. His hand resting idly on the back of his neck. His eyes were soft and warm when they met mine and I could tell he was on the brink of some kind of apology.

"I haven't finished..." I started to say just as he was about to give me that sorry...

"For disturbing you like..." He finished, trailing off when he realised that my lips were moving too.

When our eyes locked I felt a wave of shyness wash over me, a ripple which subdued me and left me looking back at him from under hooded lids. He wore a faint blush across the hollows of his cheeks and for a moment he looked as though he'd brought something of the wild woods inside with him.

"It's okay..." We said the words at the same time, our voices trailing in sync with one another in a way which made him grin and me bite the tip of my tongue.

"You look worn out sweetheart, y'sure you're not finished?" He asked with a soft smirk, stepping into the room when I took a step back and allowed him past me.

My fingers were still holding the edge of the door and when I pushed it shut again I let my hand linger against the grains of wood. Choosing to stare at them instead of at him.

"Lost count of how many times I heard that big crescendo..." He carried on, "I reckon you've at least earned yourself ten minutes..."

He'd already thrown himself down on a heap of mats in the corner, his head resting on the curve of a punching bag. It wasn't a resting place I'd have considered comfortable until I'd seen him lying back, legs stretched out before him, one hand behind his head. His chin raised as he nodded me over and shot me a cheeky smile. One I felt a tug of guilt in my tummy for being tempted by.

"C'mon Sonya..." He said softly, "ten minutes?" He said, pouting back at me when still I didn't stray from my safe spot by the door.

I bit my lip. I felt strangely as if on a precipice, as if the choice I made in that moment, to sit down with him on those old mats, was more important than it might seem. As if more depended on it than I was willing to let myself believe.

When my fingers twisted the latch on the door shut they did so without my saying so. Did it so subtly and subconsciously that the click as the door locked made me jump.

He grinned when I crossed the floor, my ballet shoes making the softest of sandy sounds as I trod lightly on the wood.

I didn't mean to sit as close to him as I did, but that too happened without my saying so. My legs working against me too to settle me down right beside him, my toes inside my ballet slippers brushing his calves as I sat with my knees hugged to my chest. My hips beside his hips.

I let my head rest on my knees and closed my eyes, curled up, my head beginning to fuzz again, suddenly self conscious to be near him. Fighting with the tug of the comfort he was trying to offer me and the guilt which sat knotted in the pit of my stomach. Guilt which twisted, comfort which dizzied when he reached out to me quietly, his fingers brushing a delicate pattern down my curved spine.

"Sitting like that ain't gonna relax you y'know..." He said softly.

"I'm relaxed..." I said indignantly, my voice tight enough to give me away without the scorned blush on my cheeks which blossomed brighter the more the memory of how I'd come to be locked in that gym burnt on my brain.

"Aye y'are.." said Bonnie, his fingers on my back still trailing carefully, this delicate leaf like touch, coaxing my gaze round to look at him over my shoulder. "I'd believe that if I hadn't seen you down by the stream the other night..." He said softly, "sittin by the fire with me da..." As he spoke his fingers drew flickering flames down my spine, their gentle flow soothing my, lulling me into a softer state. One which saw my shoulders settle as I closed my eyes and remembered the way it had felt to sit beside the fire, fresh air tired, wearing Bonnie's fleece, watching the sparks rise into the orange evening. "Half asleep when I carried you all the way home..."

It was the smirk in his voice and the memory of his strong arms wrapped around my body which drew me out of the spell. Which left me sitting suddenly stiff and self conscious. Unable to look him in the eye for the blush on my cheeks.

"Are you..." I started, about to ask if he was teasing me, cutting myself off when I realised what a stupid question that was.

"Teasin ye? No love..." He chuckled, "not me..." He said, "I wouldn't dream of it..." But the light twinkling in his eyes told me otherwise and I couldn't help the smile on my lips. One I wanted so desperately to swallow down for the shame it carried. How could I smile for him, how could I be so fickle as to give in to him when somewhere in London my heart was waiting for me.

"I mean it though Miss Gray... I have seen you... The way you are when you let go of all the trouble you're keeping safe an secret in that head of yours..." He said quietly, sitting up slowly, moving to curve around my form, his chest barely brushing my back as one arm curved around me, his hand resting atop my knee, the other brushing my hair from my cheek as his lips brushed my ear. "So I know what it looks like when you stop worrying about holding yourself together all the time..."

"I'm not worried..." I said stiffly, sitting so still, so afraid to relax into his hold and yet so desperate to. Longing to give in. An image of his lips pressed to my neck, to my cheek... To my lips... A jolt through my heart... A flutter in the pit of my tummy I couldn't control. And suddenly I was breathless. Letting him hold me like that, letting him keep me close to him. Knowing the undeniable fact... I wanted him closer still.

"Not all the time at least..." He said, his lips brushing a kiss to the peak of my cheekbone right beside my ear. His fingers combing through my hair as he asked me without words to settle down.

"I know you're worried love, got a lot to be worried about..." He said, "but you haven't got to be worried when you're with me..."

And it was those words which turned me on him. Turned my mood, twisted the knife though he hadn't meant to. Because he was just trying to be kind. Only trying to do his best for the brokenhearted girl he perceived me to be, the frail Shelby sister who needed picking up every other day, dusting down and patted on the head because she couldn't handle herself the way the rest of the family did.

And because he didn't understand me at all.

He thought I was scared...

"I don't need you to protect me from the Italians gypsy boy..." I said quietly, the serpent flicker in my tongue just like my sister's. Just like my brother's when he was about to play the viper. "I'm the traitor who's been fucking one of them remember..."

But when I stood sharply he was two steps ahead, his hand snatching my ankle before I could dash away. Before I could move from where I stood just beside him, his hand had closed around my ankle, calloused palm pressed tightly against the silk soft ribbons wrapped around me.

My eyes darted to look down at him only to find his glaring up at me. So fixed and stubborn, so scorned and determined as he remained clutching my ankle, preventing my escape.

"Let me go..." I started, my eyes already teary, the spite catching up to me as I tried hard to burn and hold my own. To be as sturdy as my sister always managed to be.

He didn't say a word, only shook his head subtly, slowly, half a No. His gaze holding mine, earthy dark and all too honest. His hand remained holding onto me and when I tried to tug myself away the muscles in his arm tensed against me. He held me in place so easily.

"I said let me go..." I said again, my voice quivering a little, trying my best to keep my eyes burning, trying my best not to let the fear or the hurt show - already knowing that both would be written all over my face.

He didn't say a word, the downward curve of his lips soft with sorrow as he held my gaze. Something in his quiet stillness reminding me of a tree, thick trunk and roots which run deep and hold the ground together.

I looked down at him, well aware of the tears brimming in my eyes. Well aware that I could scream for my brother if I wanted, but that it might not work in my favour, that perhaps my backstabbing had earned me my lonely lowly place at Bonnie's mercy. Knowing that even if I'd thought John would take my side, see to it that Bonnie never laid eyes on me again, I still wouldn't scream for him. Knowing that it wasn't Bonnie's hand around my ankle that I couldn't forgive him for, but his hold on me in general. The way he seemed to understand me even then when I was trying so hard to repair the veil between us.

The way his hand around my ankle held me back not because of his strength but because of my weakness... The weakness I felt in my knees when he held my gaze and begged me quietly to return to him. To settle down and speak to him...

And I almost did. Would have done had it not been for my wandering hand, the instinctive drift back towards my womb, the guarding press of my palm to the curve of my pelvis... And his wandering gaze, dark eyes following the path my fingers took before they bound together to hold me.

The path his fingers took when they slipped from around me and instead began to tie the ribbons of my shoes which they had disturbed. Securing them so that I wouldn't trip on my way out of the door.

"Be careful on the stairs..." He told me, nodding to let me leave. Letting me go from his sight, not shifting to stand until my footsteps had echoed lonely down the stairs and been swallowed up by the silence I left him in.

🐇 🌙 🪽

"Fen!" I heard John call after me when I went pitter-pattering up the stairs, past my bedroom to the library where I knew I wouldn't be disturbed - certainly not by John who hadn't read a book since primary school.

"Fen!" He shouted, only picking up the pace to catch up with me when he realised I had no intention of stopping for him. "Fuck sake girl come 'ere... Ada'll have me balls if I don't apologise to you!"

"Better hide the fuckin knives then John!" I snapped back, glaring at him over my shoulder from the opposite end of the hall. He stopped when he heard that, stunned for a moment before he found the composure to crack a grin.

"Jesus sis..." He chuckled, refusing to take the threat seriously. I didn't linger to hear his closing remarks or to wait on the apology he'd been sent to give.

Instead I hurried down the hall, my slippers dusting the old wood, letting me flit, window to window to the end of the hallway and through the arched door which opened into the library.

I had found it on my first day in the house, when wandering the halls trying to find my way back to mine and Sylvie's bedroom. It wasn't the kind of grand, spiral staircase library with books floor to cieling that you'd see in films. It was much smaller, with a window seat and a lamp, velvet upholstery, cushions I recognised from our childhood in the caravan. There were books, kept in an order which would only have made sense to one woman and her children. Because the library, I had realised quickly, upon running my finger along the spines of old dusty Enid Blyton books, was a shrine to a our mother. The cushions in the windows were ones she had crochetted herself. The rocking chair in the corner one she had sat in by the campfire on crisp november nights, the blanket draped across its back the blanket she had draped around the shoulders of me and my sister when she'd held us both in her lap. Her tiny angels.

There was a chest between two pale green shelves which had been salvaged from the last caravan we'd travelled in, a small bookcase which had only just been taller than me and Sylvie when we were about five. In a darker, mossier shade of green our mother had spent a melancholic week painting a pattern of leaves trailing up each side. There were pencil marks too which marked our heights as we'd grown. I could still remember the day I'd finally outgrown those shelves, how proud I had been. I'd asked if it meant I was tall now, like my brothers and our mother had laughed and said of course, as tall as the trees.

I'd thought that when we'd abandoned the road and moved into that cramped little terrace on watery lane, that these traces of our old life had been lost, thrown on the skip with the rest of our mothers possessions when she had died and our father had gone mad with grief. It was no mystery who had held onto these things. He'd never said anything about keeping them, the things she'd made to make our little house a home, but of course he had. Somewhere underneath his ice cold exterior, somewhere beneath the blade of his gaze, Tommy had a sentimental side. A softness, a longing to hold onto everything our mother had given us. Because all the love we'd ever known had come from her.

And here was the remnants of that love, so carefully and quietly preserved in a room hardly anyone ever went. Perhaps only Tommy, Ada, and now myself. Perhaps that was why he'd known it was safe to keep her journals lined up on the top shelf. The books she had jotted her life down in, through drawings and pressed flowers, locks of hair, baby teeth held in place beneath cellotape. Our names written beneath them with a month and a year.

I had found them the first night but I hadn't dared open them. Knowing what they contained only because I could remember so vividly a time when she had trimmed my hair and tied it with a little red string, showing me where she was going to keep it. Pressed between the pages of a red clothbound book beside drawings I didn't understand then but had been fascinated by.

Well, I didn't understand them still but I knew what they were now, and I wanted to try and understand. Needed to feel connected to at least someone from our godforsaken family. Needed to feel close to her again, because it had been such a long time since I had, and because it was her my brothers always told me I carried in my soul. She was the reason I was the way I was - so erratically emotional, so not Shelby.

So I ran my fingers along the spines, some of them shabbier than others, until I found the red bound book which she had carried with her in the last years of her life. One which she had started when me and Sylvie were born, which followed her pregnancy almost neurotically and then petered out, only returned to in drips and drabs when she had the energy to go walking, or the clarity of mind to write, and draw again. Because it had been after me and Sylvie, that her sickness had really got a grip on her.

I took the little red book and sat myself down on the floor by the window seat so that the light from outside could wash over me and the pages I turned, but so that we could not be seen from outside.

I knew the pages I was looking for but I took my time finding them. Slowing down to linger on each mark our mother had left, the words she'd written, the shake of her hand, the little tremmors you could sometimes see in the lettering. The petals she had picked from flowers and left pressed between the pages. Some of them with a name written beside them - the child who had picked the flower and brought it home to her. Sometimes the name made perfect sense to me, sometimes it was hard to imagine an adolescent Arthur Shelby bringing home a daffodil for his mam.

She hadn't learned to read until adulthood so her words on the page were sparse, just a feeling hardly articulated or a name and a drawing. Little sketches of little faces we hadn't yet grown into.

There was something about looking at them - the little traces of her, the mother she'd been when she'd been carrying us inside her - that touched me. Got to me in a way I hadn't known it would until it had, and now that it had I felt stupid for being surprised by it.

Little tears pricked at my eyes, gathered in my lashes when I let my fingers trace the sketches she had done of herself, a swaddled shadow that was Sylvie and I, drawn not long before we were born. Our names written down for the first time. As I let my fingers dust over it I felt the unearthly feeling inside me once again, this strange unfamiliarity. Something growing inside me, which wasn't me, but was for now a part of me. I let my hand rest over my womb once again and closed my eyes. My mind returning to Freddie, to the father of my unborn child, who I couldn't let myself believe had betrayed me. Couldn't betray him by believing my brothers, though they had determined it with such fierce conviction.

In that moment I felt so far away from home, despite being nestled as close to home as I could ever be again. Holding my mothers journals, surrounded by the last things she'd made, touched.

I turned the pages slowly, pressing on the bruise, letting the ache twist and sting in my chest as I retraced the final years of the life of a woman I was supposedly just like, but would never know. And then I came to them, finally.

The last few pages she'd written in before her despair had really consumed her. Tommy had talked of it only once, described her illness as a kind of rot. Something evil and festering, black mould that starts in your brain, in corners, little shadows, that gets in your blood and travels all around your body, and wherever it touches that place stops feeling like you, stops feeling like its a part of you, and as it spreads you recognise less of yourself, and so it goes that you know yourself less and less, see only the shadows of that black rot, until eventually it travels all the way to you heart. And once it does well, theres little to be done to save you and very little time left.

He said it ran in the family, a curse we all had to be wary of. He lived his whole life with the certainty that he carried that rot inside him, that we all did somewhere...

Of course, I grew older, realised our mother had been suffering at the hands of a neglectful, sometimes abusive husband, who was wrapped up in all sorts of criminal activity. That she'd been forced to abandon the life which had nurtured her soul. That the rot my brother believed in was simply a depression, a melancholy, a paranoia that ran a little too deep to be cured. That in the end it was just exhaustion with the world which had sent her into that river with pockets full of stones. Exhaustion and fear...

A fear which had started the day she'd drawn the cards I was looking at, sketched out in her little red journal.

The Hanged Man, reversed.

Ten of Swords.

Two of Cups, reversed.

Needless Sacrifice.

Betrayal.

A split between two halves.

She had drawn these cards not once, but many times over the course of several months. There had been evenings she had sat shuffling her deck, praying into them as she did. I hadn't understood it at the time but she had been asking them, desperately pleading with them to give her another answer. To show her something else. A future she could withstand.

But whatever she had thought those cards to mean had sent her over the edge, plunged her into an inconsolable depression. I couldn't help but wonder now, whether Aunt Polly had recognised the cards I had drawn. Whether her mind had returned to my mothers drawings. To the images which had torn her apart.

On the next page the sketches were eerily similar. The story unchanged despite the altered sequence.

Two of Cups, reversed.

Ten of Swords.

Death.

Taglist:

@inalovesrabbits-blog

@zablife

@itsghostgirlyo

@marwwfairy

@toddlerbodybag

@everysage

@tommyshelbyswhore

@kxnnxy

@starrykitn

@call-sign-shark

@only-malala

@galactic3a

@darkcastle167

@feyresqueen

#zablife recommends #Layla 🎀

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reverie-starlight · 2 years ago

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so i teach music and movement to kids between ages of 18 months to 6 years old and i was just thinking of semi being a musician like he would defo love teaching that to his child (single dad! semi) or our child and he creates songs for them to learn stuffs and tries to teach them theory and you’re like “babe it’s okay let them have fun learning we don’t have to start teaching theory now!!”. sorry for rambling omg i just think it’s going to be incredibly adorable!!

Y E S !

okay first of all don't apologize for rambling, I absolutely love this!! and as someone who loves music and theory, I wholeheartedly agree with this idea. second of all, that is such a cool job!! I started music lessons when I was like 3 or 4 and I have good memories from those classes so ty for reminding me of those times, and also my own dad trying to teach me music when I was little :) also, I am SO excited to have a semi ask. ty for that as well!

[music lessons- semi eita]

gn!reader, parent!reader, dad!semi (I didn't do single dad, I got carried away and forgot to write it that way, I hope that's okay!! also i've never written a parent fic before, i hope it didn't turn out too horribly), timeskip!semi

warnings: none, just fluff!

the semi appreciation agenda lives on!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you watched the scene before you with a smile on your face. your daughter, who was only three, and your husband were sitting on the floor in front of a colourful, mini keyboard. various other children's instruments were strewn across the living room.

"this one is middle c," semi took the child's hand and pressed her thumb down on the white key. she pressed the note again on her own and giggled when the noise came from it a second time.

lately he had been on a mission to start teaching her the basics of music theory, which you thought was a great idea. it would serve as a potential future interest and also gave them a chance to bond more. he'd been talking about it for a while and had started incorporating bits of it into their activities, but what actually pushed him to start her off more seriously was her interest in his guitar the previous night. he had been playing her a lullaby to get her to sleep, something he did often, but it was the first time she had actually tried to pay attention to what he was doing with his hands.

he was so excited that you had to stop him from ordering a guitar suitable for a toddler that same night, your reason being "eita, just wait and see what she's naturally drawn to and go from there. wait until she's a bit bigger to get her a better quality instrument, we don't know what she'll take to yet, there's lots of things for her to discover."

and of course you were right, he knew that, so he hauled out all the music themed toys your daughter had accumulated over the years and watched as she went over to her favourite toy piano and smashed the keys.

he'd never taught a toddler music before- sure, when he was younger he'd try to teach his little sister some stuff he knew, but he didn't really care if she learned or not.

now he had someone to pass on his passion and knowledge to, someone who he wanted to share this with. if, down the road, his daughter decided she didn't want to keep up with it he'd never force her to, but he did want her to learn as much as he was able to teach.

and as a musician, he had a lot to teach.

he often wrote songs for her, little jingles for her to hum along to, lullabies to sleep to and they made up songs together while doing various activities. he made games out of rhythm lessons. it was endearing.

but sometimes you needed to remind him to reign it in, that she was still only a toddler.

the two of you laughed as your daughter cheered after hearing her dad play a c-major scale. he tried to get her to follow along, however she was far more interested in trying out the little plastic drums next.

"wait, no, come back-" he was cut off by a loud bang. he winced. "d/n, can you come back here please? i was still teaching you about the notes."

your daughter kept banging the stick against the top of the drum rather happily. he tried to get her attention again, but to no avail. semi sighed and looked to you for help. "baby, help?"

you let out a small laugh. "my love, maybe you should just let this happen. let her have fun with music for now, just let her discover what it has to offer. there's time for getting more serious about theory when she has a longer attention span."

he sighed again. "you're right... i just really want her to learn, it's important to me that we can still share a bond over music when she's older, whether or not she's actively using what i teach her. does that make sense?"

you nodded and sat down next to him. you placed your head on his shoulder. "just keep doing what you're doing with her now. those games and those songs will go a long way. she's young, she's constantly absorbing knowledge and learning. it'll stick if you keep it up and then you can build on it."

you both looked towards her as she moved over to a tambourine and held it out for you to take. you accepted the gift and started shaking it around. she giggled and then handed the recorder to semi. she took over the drums again.

"are we making a band, honey?" you asked her.

she nodded enthusiastically and started hitting the drums in a familiar rhythm. semi's head shot up and he grinned at you. "that's the beat of the lullaby i wrote for her!"

you smiled at him. "see? she's learning." you shook the tambourine in time with you daughter's playing.

he laughed and kissed you on the head. "babe, you're amazing, i love you so much. thank you for everything. i needed that reminder." he took the recorder in his mouth and started playing a slightly off key version of the lullaby's melody.

the rest of the day was filled with love and laughter and music, a beautiful memory being created for all of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i'm not so satisfied with the ending but overall i really like this one!! hope you enjoyed it! :)

#semi eita x reader #semi eita fluff #reverie requests #haikyuu x reader fluff #semi eita x y/n #shiratorizawa x reader #hq dad #dad!haikyuu

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imperatorium · 2 years ago

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Ppffff- I love sister imperator and papa nihil because they are the epitome of the “(evil) divorced parents who still occasionally fuck” and the kids have to constantly deal with it and have to do the most long winded response when people ask them if they’re parents are together or not

wbu

See, so, okay. I know it's not uncommon for people to see them as hella divorced but still horny for it and my assumption is that this must make sense for anyone who has come in post-"Kiss The Go-Goat" music video. As someone who came in about a year before that, I had plenty of time to steep in the information we previously had, which was just that a) they're fucking so obviously in love with each other and b) there's some nebulous reason that they aren't formerly together, despite clearly (to me) wanting to be.

I think GoGoat gives nice context as to some shit that's happened between them, but besides that, we have seven other chapters of content and one music video (two, if you're me and headcanon-count "Cirice") showing the hopelessly romantic way they related to one another both in the past and (maybe more importantly) present.

Here's one of my things - despite the Church being a long-lived institution, the events in "Dance Macabre" show that Nihil seems to not have previously had any knowledge or involvement with it. Because I, II, and III are acknowledged as legitimate heirs to the Antipapacy, but Copia, the only one we know has - at least by Clergy standards - been brought in as a third-party is not acknowledged as a legitimate heir, I struggle to imagine that they were children of Nihil's from his previous life outside of the Church. As such, they must have been conceived after his induction into the Antipapacy.

Moreover, Copia is easily seen as the youngest of the Papas, given the other weird canon age/timestamps we've been given - Papa I being in his 70s (I still struggle with this one)/II & III being in their mid-50s circa 2013 and Copia being almost 100% obviously the baby Sister is pregnant with in 1969. So, I, II, & III would have been conceived/born between the events of "Dance Macabre" and GoGoat, but there's also in-character interviews TF has done as Special Ghoul, indicating that each of the other Papas all have different mothers. Maybe you can assume Sister is one of them, but to me that just doesn't track given the way she promotes and dotes on Copia, while putting the others down without much as a second thought.

(Admittedly, I colour a lot of how I see this with an Arthurian tint. Sister is so obviously Morgan Le Fay, Copia is so obviously Mordred to me.)

MY POINT IS, there's something else going on that's kept them apart besides just Nihil falling into rockstar adultery. His moments of rockstar weakness may have been a temporary nail in a coffin, but I have...other (admittedly kind of dark) ideas about how that all folds together. So I do believe there was a bit of a rift between them for a little while, but not an indefinite one.

So, yes. I've always been someone who is drawn to The Main Character's Parents (or Parental Generation) in like 75% of my fandoms, but this one's just like...extra got a hold on me. Over half a century of, at minimum, absolutely longing for each other. The power and legacy she gifted him with. The utter devotion and twitterpation radiating off of him every time they interact. The way she tries so hard to engage him even while she's at her weakest in the hospital. The way his face lights up when her bandages come off. Their little kiss at the NYC tour announcement for Prequelle. The way they look at each other at the end of "Dance Macabre". Her little handgrasp in his direction as she revels (pre-disaster) in watching him perform in "GoGoat". The sheer adoration. Forget Satan, they are each other's religion.

#asks #ghost #sister imperator #papa nihil

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purplerose244 · 4 years ago

Text

My thoughts on Seabound!!! 🌊🌊🌊 (3/4)

SPOILERS ALERT!!!

Yep yep yep, I'm liking this season a lot! 😍 Although I hope we'll get into a more frantic situation now, like with more battles and more bonding moments (Nya and Maya hopefully, but with Bentho too 🦈🦈🦈)! We got half a season to go, I'M READY!! 😎😎

Alright, here we go!

GENERAL THOUGHTS

I do like the season a lot, maybe MoM was a little more cohesive? Idk but it's not a big complain, I still love it so far 😍

Also maybe I would've liked more interactions between Nya and Maya about how they've been apart for so long, they had a chit chat but I would've loved even more. Maybe with Nya saying that it was fine and she grew up only to realize she is still hurt by that, even though it wasn't Maya's fault. I still like how they did it, I wished there was more that's it 🤷‍♀️

While I do make sense to Maya's behavior, that while it seems a little different from Hands of Time it had its logic in my opinion, maybe Ray feels a little weird? He seems less courageous than before, and it was established that he is a hothead like his son so that came off as unusual 🤔🤔

But I do love the fact that he's here and he's bonding with his son, for real, I've been waiting for this for so long so I'm happy nonetheless 🤩

Maybe I'm just easy to please and I take all I can get idk 😅

THE STORM AMULET

Oh, are we gonna address the wind element? It feels like we haven't really seen a Morro reference since Hands of Time, that would be cool! 😍 I mean, why even mentioning the wind then 😅😅

Well what do you know, they tracked them, who saw that coming?... me, I saw that coming... we all did probably 🤷‍♀️

Jay took upon himself making a quick recap on how Ninjago will be destroyed this time, thanks Bluebell 👌

Yep nyeheh electricity makes Nya go crazy for sure ❤💙 ... wait it wasn't a Jaya pun?

Jay wear your seatbelt please, you risk you life enough 😅😅 Pff lol "are we there yet" and they are actually there, biggest plot twist I've ever heard of 😂

LEGO HUG 💜💜💜

And with someone who might as well join the League of Jay apparently 💙

I liked The Island yet it was not as exciting as I hoped for, but now understand the meaning of it. The ninja helped the keepers and they are all allies. Without The Island the moment where Mammatus gives Nya the amulet wouldn't be as meaningful

Is it just me or Nya looked even more gorgeous during that moment?... just me huh? Okay then 😂💕

Wait that's a fake? Wait... UNCLE POWERS?!? OMG THAT I ACTUALLY DIDN'T SEE COMING 🤯

Here I thought he was just messing around, he always makes things harder 😅 Or maybe better? I mean, they kinda missed a bullet on this one...

BENTHO IS SO SWEET AND COOL OMG HE IS ALREADY OUR FRIEND 💙🦈💙🦈

Jay somehow had his own TV show in the past and yet he's got that horrible acting skills wth 😂😂😂

Kalmaar is a very cool villain, like, deeply evil. Not only he's calculated and merciless, he stops at nothing to get what he wants. And the people that get in the way? He wants them to suffer because they had dared to confront him 😳

And yes the voice does help a lot, I'm sorry I'll keep saying it until the season is over 😂 (or even beyond? Please cast Giles again LEGO 🥺🥺🥺)

Awww Nya no my poor girl 😢 Jay wanted to hug her to comfort her he is so sweet my SHIP ❤💙❤💙

MOM PEP TALK MOM PEP TALK!!! 🤩🤩🤩 How cool was it?

Like, this isn't even Maya asking Nya to believe in herself, this is her saying that she KNOWS her daughter can do anything when she puts her mind into it. FINALLY SHE SEES HOW AMAZING WATER GODDESS IS 💜💜💜

MORE LEGO TEARS OMG THIS SEASON IS FILLED WITH TEARS 😱 Which... kinda makes sense considering it's a water based season 😂

Nice one, and now? NOW WE GO BACK TO KAI COLE AND RAY YAS!!! ❤🖤❤🖤

RIDDLE OF THE SPHINX

That is... surprisingly Egypt theme like? It feels like a title coming from the Fire Chapter of season 11... well we got two fire elementals so 😍😍

SPARRING KAI AND RAY

I REPEAT SPARRING KAI AND RAY!!! SPARRING KAI AND RAY!!! ❤❤❤ Lol Ray got old, but how can someone blame him? He did touch death while aging in Hands of Time, I'm just happy he is alive 😂

Yep, master prankster Wu, that's what I love 👌👌 I always thought Wu had become a father figure for Kai at the beginning, so seeing Ray and Wu in the same picture feels very wholesome to me 😚

Ah, uncle Powers, I both love you and hate you so freaking much 😌😌 But you make cool slides nonetheless 😂

ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH BEAUTIFUL SMITH INTERACTIONS??

BECAUSE I LIKE IT KEEP GOING 🤩

Oh no you guys are stranded on an island whatever are you going to do?? It's not like you had already before and managed to survive (Skybound) or you got stranded on a rock in a sea of sand filled with giant monsters (Fire Chapter) or you were on a freaking COMET in SPACE (Rebooted). Yeee, this is the worst yet 🙂

I'm starting to think these ninja are just a bunch of drama queens so no matter what happens, it's always hopeless 😂😂 I feel like I'm kinda right on this one honestly 😛

Whoa whoa WHOA WHO IS NYAD THIS SOUNDS VERY COOL???

Aww I like that, while Ray told his kids stories about dragons and how they traveled through the Underworld, Maya told them about Nya the first water master that could summon whales 💙❤💙❤

Pff imagine if it turned out Nya was the master of fire, carrying a very water based name? Lol

Maya: I would know if it was possible!

Nya: Yeah, like she knows that I can control a bit of ice because it's frozen water

Maya:...

Maya: YOU WHAT

I find both interesting and very annoying that this explorers club thinks so highly of themselves, to the point the deny to aid even the FREAKING SAVIORS OF THEIR FREAKING LAND 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Misako got good reflexes after all, Kai was probably ready to melt this guy's face 😅

Oh, so a trial by Sphinx is a challenge? A mental one? A cultural one? A physical one? Idk but Misako is actually taking charge and that is cool I guess 🤷‍♀️

Okay this is kind of weird, how is Ray so afraid? Is it because there's fire?... did he... did he grow afraid of fire for some reason? Because it feels a bit off for now, but if there is a deeper meaning that could be interesting 🤔

Wait is that the riddle from Decoded? That's fire right?

IT IS FIRE 🔥🔥🔥

Lol at least in this one Kai wasn't completely ignored 😂 I know my flame babe isn't the most rational person, but I do like that it was an answer connected to his element where he used his head!

Ah Clutch, you really got no backbone 😅 And apparently you're the only explorer who doesn't, dang look at the others go! I'm having a bit more respect for them now 😚

LOOK AT SENSEI GO FINALLY!!! 😍😍 FIGHTING SCENES HECK YES!!!

Kalmaar: I'm your conquerer

Wu: so after skeletons, the serpentine, nindroids, the Stone Army, Chen's army, ghosts, oni, more snakes but on fire and people from a game, that makes you the tenth. Have a free cookie

Kalmaar:...

Wu: you're not special

Is this a little throwback to Possession too? Nya seems to always control better water when she doesn't actually think about it. When her feelings are free, so are her powers 🌊🌊🌊

Also this opens up more possibilities! Creatures connected with other elements might get summoned too! I would love something like that 😍😍

This was NEAT, or maybe I just missed Kai that much ❤ What's next??

PAPERGIRL

ANTONIAAAAAAAA!!!! MY GIRL IS BACK!!! All my girls are back in this season, I'm so happy 😍😍😍 And if she is here, sweet little Nelson has to be around and I cannot wait! Bring in the purple ninja! 💜

Owww Antonia's last day as a papergirl? Nooo why??

She's got a job at the... DAIRY DRAGON??? OMG OMG OMG IT'S THE ICE CREAM PLACE BRAGI TOLD US ABOUT ON TWITTER!!! 🤩🤩🤩 I remember the post, he was asking about names for the place and ice cream flavors. Now I can't wait to see what did he choose 🍦🍦🍦

UNAGAMI BABY HI HONEY!!! 🙋‍♀️ I hope he's doing great 😘😘

This is so cool honestly, Antonia got her own character arc going on! Living in a chaotic city like Ninjago City must be pretty dang exhausting 😅

Was... was that Dareth in the garbage can? Am I wrong? Poor brown ninja 😅🤎😅

SPINJITZU SWIRL, BANANAKHAN, ORANGE SERPENTINE, I'M DYING 😂😂😂

Their friendship is so wholesome, I'm so happy they are still together no matter what happens 💕

I thought Kalmaar wasn't much of a fighter but DANG he's got skills! Also the fact that he uses tentacles makes the fight very cool to watch! 😚😚

RAY RUNNING IN AFTER KAI GOT HURT HECK YES ❤❤❤

Well at least you tried Ray 😅

Ah, little cameo of the original Weekend Whip, always nice to hear it again... AND DO THE WEEKEND WHIP!!! 🌪🌪🌪

EVEN NELSON GOT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT I'M SO PROUD 💜

I don't even know what is cooler, the kids being mad lads on their bikes, Kalmaar driving a TRUCK or Kai going full parkour on the buildings to follow them 🤯

I'm sorry... am I the only one that during the Kai and Kalmaar talk kinda thought of Jestro and Clay? I miss my boys from NK, they're even more at odds now 😭😭

KAI YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE OR EVEN TRY TO DIE GET BACK HERE AT ONCE 😱😱

Kalmaar just loves to make everyone feel inferior, gotta be his hobby 😶

Oh good Kai is back

OH NOT GOOD KAI IS NOT BREATHING?!? FLAME BABE I TOLD YOU YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE 😱😱😱

Antonia, Nelson, you guys are now my heroes. You saved my fave, I'll be forever in dept with you ❤❤❤ Am I being overdramatic? Most likely, but Kai is one of the few that didn't almost die or did die in a dramatic situation and he is also my absolute favorite character so that... kinda keeps my sanity in check in this show 🥴

I wonder... does he still not know how to swim? He saved Lloyd in Possession but I wonder if he was only trying to float on the surface... THAT'S TERRIFYING

This episode was so adorable, I love Antonia and Nelson so much 💜💕💜💕 It's nice to see what the other people of Ninjago do while everything goes mad 🤣

Wait hang on my Ninjajan is a little rusty

"Ninjago City. City that never sleeps" well if that ain't the truth 😂

MASTER OF THE SEA

Like Master of the Mountain? Wait are we going back to Shintaro?? VANYA?? ANOTHER BEST GIRL RETURNS??? 💛

Hey hey hey, we got a full Nyad backstory! I really like when they do these little drawn shots, they feel more like legends! And... the ending sounds terrifying? Like, they wouldn't let Nya sacrifice herself and die... again... right? 😱

Bentho: and the world was in balance, until now because of my brother

Lloyd: and the Overlord before of course

Bentho: the what now?

Lloyd: the evil one my grandpa the first Spinjitzu Master fought?

Bentho: YOUR WHAT NOW

Why do I like this offscreen "hiiiyaaa" that sensei Wu does before actually going into the scene? 😂😂

No matter if they come from the underground or the sea, these are all snake-like creature with the same intellect 😅 Kalmaar and Garmadon would have a lot to talk about, sea king dealing with his minions does remind me of Lord Garmadon in season 2 a lot 😂😂

KAI AND RAY FIGHTING TOGETHER KAI AND RAY FIGHTING TOGETHER ❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤

OMG Kalmaar is such a brat and petty villain I love him so much 😂😂😂 Yes I didn't even mention his amazing voice!... AH DANG IT 😳😳

*Misako kicks Kalmaar and is actually useful* 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️

*Misako gets taken as hostage immediately after* 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

KAI LITERALLY JUST GOT SAVED FROM DROWNING WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO HIM!!!... and Ray and Cole and Wu of course, I care okay 😅

OMG that face 🤣🤣🤣

That some meme material right there

Whoa Vincent that voice just got super up when the Unsinkable showed up, it kinda sounded like Jay's lol

NO NOT BENTHO!!! 😢😢😢

Kai: Nya talks to whales now? (I snorted so hard at this 😂😂)

HECK YES NYA GOT THE AMULET!! 😍😍😍 ... we got, like, four more episodes to go so something needs to happen in between... do I need to be scared? I feel like I need to be scared 😅

Jay starting a fire then blaming Kai?... this is so in character I got chills 😂😂

SHARK BOY IS STAYING TO THE MONASTERY THIS IS SO PRECIOUS!!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 I want all the shenanigans and we need to write fanfictions about more shenanigans and AAAAHHHHH 🦈🦈🦈

Bless these two fire idiots

They own my heart ❤🔥❤🔥 Also Vincent, this is supposed to be a fun little gag moment, your amazing voice acting is kinda distracting me 😭😭😭

ANOTHER LEGO HUG

YOU GUYS ARE SPOILING ME OVER HERE HECK YES 💙🌊💙🌊

Maya learned that her daughter is capable of everything, I love that. Nya simply understood that she doesn't have to give up when something gets difficult. She is AMAZING and can do anything she puts her mind into. She simply has to hold on until the end 💪💪💪

Omg Benthomaar playing billiard with the guys I already love this 😍😍

YES IT IS SHINTARO!!! THE UPPLY ARE HERE OMG!!! HI VANYA YOU LOOK AMAZING GIRL MISS YOU I HOPE YOU'RE DOING OKAY!!! 💛💛💛 ... I just really like Master of the Mountain okay 😅

I love how Vanya doesn't even question it. It comes from Cole and he said it needs to be protected? Done and done 👌

Wait what, did something fall?

IS THAT THE FAKE?!?!? WHAT HOW WHEN??? UNCLE POWERS??? OR KALMAAR DID SOMETHING??? SOMEONE??? I'M LEGIT CONFUSED AND EXCITED??? 🤯🤯🤯

Well dang, I didn't see that coming, now what Seabound? What do you have for me?

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whitestaghere · 4 years ago

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I'm here - Edmund Pevensie x reader (Chapter 4)

Hi guys! I'm back with chapter 4! I really hope you guys enjoy reading this. I'm enjoying writing this, probably cuz it's my first time writing a fic for Edmund. Enjoy! ❤️

Edmund's Pov

"Ed, we're home!"

I heard the familiar voice of my little sister. Turning around I smiled at them, "hey."

Lucy ran upto me engulfing me in a hug but pulling away looking at me confused.

"Hello! Are you a friend of Edmund's?"

I looked behind me and realised. Moving to a side to show her in full view I introduced her, "hey so umm, I'd like you to meet y/n.. Y/n these are my siblings."

The youngest who spoke from before walked upto y/n with her hand held out, "hello there, I'm Lucy! It's a pleasure to meet you."

She smiled back at her. "It's a pleasure meeting you too."

"Peter," he shook her hand giving her a warm smile.

"I'm Susan," she gave her a small smile.

Peter looked between y/n and I, "why have you never introduced us before?"

I looked at y/n with a flustered expression, "well you see.. we met eachother today."

"You mean you just became friends?" Lucy chirped.

I nodded.

"Why don't we go inside?" I gestured for them to go inside.

Peter and Susan nodded their heads in agreement while Lucy walked past me with a yawn.

I looked at y/n. She looked so worried.

Walking upto her with that unknown confidence I get whenever I'm around her, I took her hand in mine.

"Don't worry, I'll explain it all.. their really nice once you get to know them."

Soon enough her smile returned. I felt my cheeks burn and looked away immediately, hoping she wouldn't notice.

Hand in hand, we walked inside.

Timeskip >>>

After explaining everything I finally let out a rather loud sigh.

Peter seemed to be thinking while Susan and Lucy sat by y/n trying to comfort her.

"Well it shouldn't be that hard.." Peter suddenly exclaimed. "I mean to find her home.. she probably got here by foot and well... if she did, she could be from somewhere nearby.

I nodded my head.

"Well why don't we call it a night?" Susan suddenly stood up. "It's been a long day even for you both.. so let's get some rest."

We all agreed.

Y/n stood up and cleared her throat, "I really hope I'm not being a bother. I owe you all a lot.."

Peter chuckled, "we're human aren't we? Don't worry y/n, it's not a big deal."

I smiled at her, her face lightning up.

"Y/n, you can sleep in my room if you'd like to," Lucy said looking rather excited.

Y/n looked at me as if to ask approval. I just gave her a smile, which she returned.

"I would love to Lucy, thank you.." Lucy squealed at that, giving her a little side hug. I noticed y/n blushing. Cute.

Everyone began to leave to their rooms. Before y/n could leave to Lucy's room I grabbed her by her wrist.

She looked back at me. Her pupils dilated a little bit, probably because I caught her at once.

She calmed down noticing it was me and smiled, "what is it, Ed?"

"I told you they'd like you.."

She giggled.

"Thank you Ed.."

"Don't thank me. I'm glad I could help. Plus Lucy seems to like you a lot already."

She let out a small laugh, "she's adorable."

"Are you coming y/n?" Lucy chirped.

"I'll be right there Lucy..." she looked at me, "well then, goodnight Ed."

"Goodnight y/n, I'll see you in the morning."

She smiled at me and followed Lucy to her room.

I smiled to myself.

My little moment was interrupted by someone clearing their throat. I looked to my side only to see Peter. He was leaning against the wall, with a smug grin on his face.

"What are you looking at?"

Peter let out a low laugh, "oh you know.. just observing."

"Observing what?" I frowned playfully.

"Oh your attempts on flirting of course," he smirked at me.

I scoffed, "I do not know what you're talking about." I pushed past him and walked into my room.

"You're denying the facts."

I raised my eyebrow at him and closed the door to my room.

"GOODNIGHT ED!" He yelled, a chuckle following soon after.

I sat on my bed with my hands covering my face.

Is he right? I mean was I really trying to flirt with her? I've never felt this drawn to a person before.

I fell flat on my bed. Ughhh. Why do I feel like this? Do I really like her? Or is it just that she's really nice... but no, that's no reason for me to keep blushing whenever I'm around her.

Closing my eyes, I pictured her.

The way she looks at me, the sound of her laughter, that soft smile she gives me. The feeling of her hands in mine.

I looked at my hands smiling. I can't wait till tomorrow.

Slowly I felt myself drifting off to sleep.

The next morning

Y/n's Pov

Opening my eyes slowly I stretched my body.

"Oh good morning y/n!" Lucy came into the room.

"Good morning Lucy. Oh, wait.. did I oversleep? I'm sorry."

"No, no you didn't. I just woke up a little early and decided to stay up anyway.. did you have a good sleep?" she sat down beside me.

Adjusting myself I sat down beside her, "I sure did, thank you Lucy."

She smiled at me, "stop thanking me y/n. It was a pleasure. By the way, breakfast is ready. Susan set you some clothes so, you can go freshen up."

I smiled back at her, "okay, thank you."

Lucy giggled, "I told you, no thank you's!"

I couldn't help but laugh.

Getting out of bed I headed to the washroom and got myself ready for the day. Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I couldn't resist the smile that came up on my face.

Susan's clothes were a perfect fit and I really loved the blue t-shirt. Blue being my favourite colour of course.

I felt so thankful.

Walking out of the washroom and heading towards the hallway I bumped into someone.

"Woah there~"

That voice.

I looked up at him. Edmund held me by my waist holding me steady, giving me the smile I absolutely adored.

"Good morning Ed!"

"Good morning love," I blushed at the nickname he gave me. Did he really call me that? Or was I just hearing things?

I smiled at him. I couldn't take my eyes off his. I missed him, even though it had just been one night.

"Oh? Am I interrupting something?" being so absorbed in the moment we didn't notice that someone had walked in on our moment.

Edmund and I looked at the owner of the voice only to see Peter.

He smirked at us eyeing our position.

Then was it only that realisation hit the both of us.

Edmund was holding me by my waist. My arms were wrapped around his neck and we barely had any space between us.

We pushed away from eachother at the same time adjusting our clothes.

Peter only laughed at this, "come on, love birds.. let's go have breakfast."

I blushed even more at the nickname. Love birds? Really? I looked at Edmund from the corner of my eyes. He was blushing a bright pink.

I giggled. And walked after Peter with Edmund following right behind me.

And that's it for chapter 4! I hope you all enjoyed it! <3 Much love and stay safe everyone!

To be continued...

#edmund pevensie #chronicles of narnia #edmund x reader #king edmund #edmund pevensie x reader #edmund pevensie imagine #peter pevensie #susan pevensie #lucy pevensie #narnia

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jelly-space · 4 years ago

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Here are some of my headcanons for Oliver because I adore him so much. I love how differently he is interpreted and drawn by the fandom, these are just how I tend to imagine him. Forgive the bad writing, I've only written academic essays and like one fanfic one shot when I was 12 so it may come off as awkward to read.

♡ Super self conscious about his looks. Doesnt understand how to take compliments but wont stop someone if they decide to lay on the love. Do it enough and he'll be smitten in no time.

♡ Will go to many lengths to get someone he's fallen for to do the same to him. The harder he falls the more he forgets that people typically dont like being stalked and def arent into murderers.

♡Will get upset if object of affection starts to avoid him. If they keep steering clear of him it wont end well. Will start with denial on his part and end with a mess for his "sweetheart"

♡ Vicious cycle of baking to destress and feel less lonely, not having anyone to give his treats to and then getting stressed about eating too many sweets. Will leave suspicious looking bags of goodies on random countrys doorsteps to avoid it as much as possible. America and Canada have become masters are sneakily discarding said treats when he gives it to them in person.

♡Amazing baker but not such a good cook. His food is edible, and he has a few dishes he excels at but he tends to make everything too sweet or bland. Part of that may have to do with the fact that he can not stand most spices(he's in the cilantro tastes like soap party) and because he will regularly put sugar in his recipes thinking its salt and will not taste to check.

♡ Personal space? What's that? He may be bashful to strangers but the second he gets closer to someone, personal boundries go out the window. He's touched starved so anyone that talks to him more than once should expect a lot of too close for comfort moments.

♡ Tries to be a good listener but gets distracted so easily. On the other hand he can talk for hours.

♡ Doesnt label himself as anything because he's not very up to date on almost anything nowadays, but would be considered pansexual.

♡ Give this man an inch and he'll make a mile. Tell him more than two compliments and hes already planning the first date. Many unsuspecting humans end up being a target for his infatuation, none of them have ended all that well though.

♡ Has had and still has a crush on many different countries, but considering they're a bit more volatile/uninterested, he's a lot less certain and outgoing in his affection. When hes frustrated over not being able to be with someone he'll purposefully go out looking for humans to be with.

♡Is good at hiding his emotions when he wants. Is a master at smiling away his problems, at least until he gets home. Then he will either A: start panicking to himself B: try to distract himself with a hobby C: Call up Allen, Matt or Francois to vent D: go out to "vent" his frustrations on some random human or E: Drink, and let's hope it never gets to that

♡His body is as soft as can be. Oliver is, as he would say, pretty chubby. He has a slightly protruding stomach(not a hard fat stomach but a soft fat type if that makes sense), thick thighs and fat built up in his upper arms. He also has a double chin and chubby cheeks.

♡His hands, on the other hand, are surprisingly thin and nimble. If you were to ask him what part of him is the prettiest he'd likely say either his eyes or his hands.

♡Is very high maintenance with his nails and hands in general. Lots of sweet smelling lotions, nail filling and nail polish is used to keep them looking nice even with all the work they go through with his baking. Usually will go with clear but hes got an arsenal of pastel polishes he'll use when he's feeling cute.

♡Calling him fat is the easiest way to get on his hit list. He'll except being called chubby by those closer to him but it's best not to mention it at all unless you're gonna give him nothing but complements for an hour straight.

♡Freckles, freckles everywhere. This man is covered in them and he's endlessly self conscious about them. He's grown accustom to the ones on his face since they've become quite popular in recent years and hes been getting complements on them from humans he passes by while out. But gets rather shy about the rest of his body and will usually only show his arms because he really is covered in them head to toe. He'll even avoid rolling up his sleeves while baking so he doesnt have people seeing them.

♡Speaking of freckles, there's another reason he tends to leave them alone now. Centuries ago he had used makeup to cover his face, but the ingredients used...weren't so kind to his skin. Luckly his face healed over time but now he gets flashbacks whenever he sees foundation.

♡Is a master manipulator. He may not be good at catching small details because of him getting easily distracted, but he is good at reading people in general. Enjoys messing with people's emotions and steering then into whichever way he wants. It helps that he acts and looks kind and attentive, people think he has good intentions when hes really just twisting how they feel and act to benefit himself.

♡Oliver can be very delusional in many different ways. He wasn't always like this but since he had to deal with a lot of terrible stuff growing up as a country, it's how he copes and rationalizes his life. The delusions can rang from mild to severe. Someone looks at him for a second too long? They must think he looks silly in his outfit. Person runs away when they find out he's stalking them? They're just playing coy. Allen wants to seperate from him and become independent? Francois and Matt, and who knows who else, have brainwashed Allen into hating him will have to fight to bring him back to normal.

♡Like his 1p counter part, Oliver does dabble in magic but to a lesser extent. He focuses more on potions and spells that he can use against others or to spy, but as magic can be unpredictable and unreliable at times(at least for him) it's usually a last ditch effort.

♡Can see magical creatures and has a few that he is close to. He feels a connection with the fae; he thinks they have a lot in common. But he tries to keep them out of his home for that very reason. He was afraid of them stealing away Allen and Matt when he left them home for too long. Now they both have fears of fairy's because of all the scary stories they've heard over the lifetime.

♡Gets pretty stressed when things are too loud and hectic, would probably need to excuse himself at least once during a 1p world meeting if he ever went to one.

♡When it comes to technology he is absolutely clueless and refuses to learn it. The newest stuff in his house is his new oven that took him a solid year to fully understand and small stuff that Allen has bought like his new tv. Allen is usually the first person that Oliver goes to for advice on technology since Matt is not much better than himself.

♡On that note he is a sucker for older technology, his favorite thing besides his kitchen is his gramophone that he'll use to play the massive collection of records he owns. He'll listen to music from any place he can get his hands on but he had a particular love for French music.

#aph 2p england #2p england #2p hetalia #oliver kirkland #2p headcanons #2p hetalia headcanons

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romanceismycallingcard · 5 years ago

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2gether Rewatch ep 1:

I forgot that it starts out with Tine narrating for a bit.

Tine telling his friends about Green and how Green said he'll make Tine change his mind about liking guys

And his friends' immediate responses being Team Green! Is actually super realistic friend group dynamic teasing and I love it.

Tine RUNNING AWAY from Green KILLS me every time!!

And he runs directly to his friends, "Guess who I saw this morning!" 😂 I love their friend group.

Green handing toilet paper to Tine in the bathroom....... Yeah........

Did Green pursue P'Dim like this too? And it worked?? Or did P'Dim pursue Green?? Gosh, now I want like a prequel story for them.

Tine's friends saying he needs to start playing hard ball and then joking about football and baseball 😂👍

Tine's friends dressing up to scare Green! And one's holding a TOILET SCRUB BRUSH! HOW does someone even come up with that!?? It's brilliant!???

"I've taken a few boxing classes." Tine looking absolutely terrified: "Not just a few O.O" (poor bunny :()

Green's skinny jeans are so tight, but like 👌 nice

Green does not strike me as a fickle person. Did he really like Tine? I think he did, but like, what about P'Dim? Part of me feels like he just used Tine to make P'Dim jealous, which is awful and in no way helps Tine's low self esteem.

What's annoying is that Tine does straight up, honestly, and kindly tell Green he's not interested. Green just reads into everything and twists the truth. And won't listen to Tine.

He takes advantage of Tine's kindness and inability to tell him a harsh no, stop. Tine doesn't absolutely, concretely refuse Green and somehow that leaves just enough wiggle room for Green to squeeze in and manipulate the situation.

😂 I forgot about Tine's run when he escapes Green to get drinks 😂😂😂👌 it's the best thing ever. I love him so much. It's such a great little run!!

I think it's interesting that Tine acts happy/drunk from that drug and not just sleepy/dead tired.

Tine's favorite song is Together. Hmm. How fitting.

Poor Tine. Green immediately forgets to hold him up and drops him!

Okay. I can kind of understand the logic of "a fake girlfriend didn't work. Maybe a fake boyfriend will." Because Green is convinced he can change Tine, but what if Tine does admit to liking guys but it's not for Green? Then Green would be forced to acknowledge that Tine isn't rejecting him because he's a guy but because he's genuinely not interested in Green.

I think it's funny that they just had to shoot for the best of the best guy though 😂 why not just someone decently attractive? It worked out brilliantly for them though. The lucky b*stards.

Their little bulletin with a drawn portrait with no likeness at all to Sarawat with a question mark over the face 😂😂😂 and the sticky notes. Very professional detective work y'all are doing over there.

You know what's really weird. When I started watching 2gether, I had no idea who Toptap was but I knew Tine had a brother so I kept wondering who was the brother in the show during ep 1. Now I know who Toptap is and recognize him and I know that Type isn't even introduced as a character until several episodes later. But that was weird to realize because it means that since episode 1 was released I've watched multiple shows with Toptap in them. (Water Boyy, 3 will be free, rewatched love sick)

Sarawat is awesome. He's such a killer. 😂 And his friends are so great!! Gunsmile and Mike. *Chef's kiss*

The cast for this show is perfection. I love all of them. They're all amazing and hilarious and adorable AND amazing actors.

Posting a fake schedule for Sarawat was so smart! Too bad Tine and his friends kinda blew it for him.

Tine's friend Ohm (JJ) said he has a spy that said the schedule is a fake. Who's his spy???

Love the guitar music as Tine's running to Sarawat. How the heck did he manage to get in front of all those girls? There were girls on the stairs below where he and his friends were standing.

I really want to know what Sarawat is thinking when Tine just shows up right in front of him. He and his friends just walk away without saying anything at first. Why?

Sarawat's friends' reactions to Tine calling him an asshole 😂

What's super interesting to me about their first interaction is that Sarawat has been aware of and probably been watching Tine for a year. Which means he at least has some basic knowledge about Tine. Like he's kind, relaxed, cool (chill), etc. I wonder what he thought about Tine calling him an asshole. Not a great first impression, buuuuut~ it wasn't a first impression. Sarawat already knows that Tine is a good guy.

Is Sarawat just so introverted and socially stunted that he just has no idea how to interact with his crush so he's acting overly cool/cold to him?? I don't understand why he acts like that to his crush?

I just don't get it.

And then we get this wide shot and I love watching Sarawat's friends' reactions because I love their perspective on everything. But their faces after Sarawat says that and walks away are so funny! And Gunsmile's little wave 😂👌 (not the greatest snapshots sorry)

Guys I just finished part 2. This is bad. This post is so long already.

I feel like Sarawat got lucky because of how stubborn Tine is. Tine's friends are like, "let's find a different target." And Tine goes, "Nah, he's difficult so I have to have him now."

Tine said "email" so now I'm thinking about him speaking English and that Win lived in the US for a year and he's only a year younger than me and how crazy would it have been if I had met him? I went to a school that had a lot of foreign students. So weird. I mean the US is huge so of course the chances are crazy small, but it's fun to think about.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I finally understand how Tine's email sounded like he wants to kiss/sleep with Sarawat now. Got it. I was really slow on that, wooow....

Tine's dream is 👌

Sarawat's jacket is 🤤

Fun story (cuz this post isn't long enough already): before I started watching 2gether, I read a post about Tine's dream and that Sarawat turned into Green, but I didn't know Green was a name (and there were no capital letters to indicate that) so I thought that Sarawat must've turned into like a green monster or something in Tine's dream but nope! That's not what that meant!

After that email, I wonder what Sarawat thinks of his crush now. Lol.

I just noticed this bike statue 👌 I love public artwork so much sometimes

Aaaaaaaaaand now that I've noticed the statue, I also noticed

That when Tine crashes into the bush, he's somehow magically back at the statue and that little roundabout.

Aw. Okay. I'll give Green one (1) point. It's sweet that he got Tine and was sitting next to him with a smelling thing for Tine to wake up.

This girl Ann is precious. She's so cute.

This is the shared student number party. I'm a little confused why there are so many people there? Is it multiple student number groups meeting up?

Tine goes from 0 to 100 energy wise real quick! "I'm a chic guy. I like to act cute!" He is so cute. You all know the rest of that speech.

Oh I'm dumb! Sarawat and Tine are both new incoming freshman! Sarawat probably recognized Tine from the concert, but he probably hasn't even seen Tine since then! For some reason I was thinking they've probably had the chance to see each other around University. I'm dumb. So everything Tine is doing, Sarawat has no context for, nothing to compare it to or anything.

Tine.... Breaking the phone..... The cringe.... The secondhand embarrassment.... I'm struggling. It hurts. Oh the pain....

Okay yay!! EPISODE 1: DONE! 😄

I hope you all enjoyed my commentary even though it was very very long. 😂😘

#2gether #2gether the series #ep 1 #rewatch #commentary #rommie rewatches

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yourcreepyneighborhoodelftwink · 4 years ago

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As the Hero fell upwards through the sands of time, the days rewinding like the gears of a clock, he landed calmly on the cobblestones of Clock Town Square, at the dawn of the first day. He had been through this many times before, and had grown accustomed to reliving the same 3 days, helping the same people with the same schedules, slowly making more and more progress each time. At least he didn't feel an enormous time crunch, even with the threat of the moon hanging above him, he was always able to rewind the days, and could take days to rest, to sleep or ride Epona or play with the inhabitants.

He rarely did, but it was nice that the option was there.

He was pulled from his thoughts by Tatl getting his attention with a soft tinkling sound, looking over at the stand near the Deku flower, and the note pinned to it.

"That's certainly new…" she said cautiously as they approached, Tatl reading aloud to Link.

The pair exchanged a confused and frightened look. It wasn't signed, but they knew exactly who left the note for them.

BEN sat on the edge of the field, their boots hanging over the barrier where the grass turned into sand, looking out at the canyon leading to the beach. It had been so long since they had entered their game, only playing it from the outside. Perhaps they had been showing too much love to Breath of the Wild lately and not enough to the dark masterpiece of their former prison, or perhaps it was the only world they could enter that felt truly real, where the sun was warm and the wind blew. They HAD become a bit spoiled, learning that adding weather effects and random wind blowing did wonders to immersion when they entered a game.

They closed their eyes, speaking up before looking behind them.

"You didn't have to rush over here. "as possible" doesn't mean "instantly", you know…" BEN said gently, lowering their ears with a guilty smile.

Link frowned softly, keeping his distance from the elf. He couldn't draw his sword AND sign, after all, so he would have to make due. "You didn't specify. I've learned better than to provoke you."

BEN couldn't exactly blame his caution. It's why they were here, after all. "My bad. I'll be more specific next time. But I suppose it's neither here nor there now…"

"...is there something you want, BEN? " Link asked, clearly a bit anxious by being asked to meet.

"...a few things. I won't lie and say there isn't a favor I'd like to ask the both of you-"

"Like you have any right to ask Link for anything, at this point!" Tatl quickly interjected, turning red in anger. "You've terrorized us for no good reason, revealed truths we didn't need to know, and then just left us alone one day!"

"-BUT," BEN continued, "that isn't my main reason for being here. First and foremost... You're long overdue for an apology from me."

Link and Tatl looked at each other in confusion. "...pardon? " Link questioned.

"...I've been doing a lot of thinking and self reflecting lately. Especially because I finally have reason to want to improve myself. And I think I've gotten pretty far in trying to right the wrongs of my past, and try to change as a person. But I still never gave the both of you a proper apology, or even an explanation for how I treated you…" BEN sheepishly said.

Link looked down at the seated person, absolutely dumbfounded. All the times he had been attacked by BEN came instantly into his mind, only to not even be able to so much as scratch them in return, even the might of a Goron doing nothing to them. All the times he had been followed and told he was insignificant, worthless, a joke of a hero, told he was nothing more than a bland, boring conduit for the player of a game in a world far grander than his own. Only for BEN to just... Disappear one day. Gone. Vanish into thin air, and only return occasionally, seemingly at their leisure. Something... Didn't add up to him, and he wasn't sure what on Earth made them suddenly stop tormenting him, and now want to make things right.

"...I'll hear you out, at least," Link finally said, stepping forward to sit next to him. If nothing else, were he going to harm Link, BEN would have done it by now.

"Not that it makes us all hunky-dory yet," Tatl offered, settling on Link's shoulder.

BEN smiled softly, letting out a relieved breath. They stayed quiet for a moment, deciding their words carefully. "I'm not... Sure where to start. So much has happened to me. I guess I should start when we first met. When I first entered this game. It was my favorite game, and with me when I died," they started.

Tatl interrupted, jingling softly. "...when you died?"

BEN nodded softly. "When I died. I was just about your age, Link, about 12. More specifically, when I was murdered. Father simply... Got tired of me, I suppose. He tricked my religion's leader- we refer to him as The Father- into thinking it was my time to Ascend when it wasn't. The whole explanation of my belief system isn't important in this, just that I was robbed of something very important and sacred to me because of it."

"That sounds horrible," Link signed.

"It was... And I was only 12, and not the greatest at understanding or expressing my emotions... I was so angry, absolutely furious at losing that chance, as what had been done to me. I've always had a strong sense of justice, if you can believe it. I don't easily stand for people wronging me. But when I died, my spirit was trapped in this game. All that rage bottled up, with nowhere to release it... Until I started releasing it on you. Very unfairly."

"I'll say," Tatl said, though there wasn't much bite behind her words.

"Eventually, someone played the game, and I was able to break free, find someone else to torment. And after that, start lashing out at everyone who had hurt me, making them

PĄŸ,"

BEN continued, their voice glitching out just a bit at the final word.

"...i moved on to more innocent people after that. I was out of control. To the point where my goddess, Luna, intervened. She stopped me herself, gave me a new body, made me into a young adult so I wouldn't be trapped as a child forever, and I carry the souls of everyone I hurt in my blind sadism, until I join her again one day. And I've worked hard to be a better person now. I've found so much to make my life wonderful, and to make the most of my second chance…" BEN trailed off.

"...but you still want to make amends to everyone you've hurt," Link finished for them.

"...I don't expect you to forgive me. I don't think I can be forgiven. But I really AM sorry for how I treated you. Both of you. Of everyone I've lashed out at, you're the least deserving of it. No matter WHAT'S happened to me, it's NO excuse for how much I've hurt you. And even if you never forgive me, I would love the opportunity to make it up to you…" they finished softly.

"...would you excuse us for a moment?" Tatl asked, flying a slight distance away. Link glanced over at BEN before rising to his feet to follow, and speak with the fairy alone. BEN politely stayed looking forward, allowing them the privacy.

"...do you believe them?" Tatl asked.

"...yeah. They seem genuine," Link admitted.

Tatl nodded softly. "I do, too. There's much simpler ways to trick us or convince us if that was their intention. Even if they said they wanted a favor, this is a lot of lengths to go to for just that…"

"I wonder what they want," the hero mused, glancing over at BEN.

"...maybe ask? Perhaps you can also ask a favor of him, test his sincerity," she said.

"What would that be? " he asked.

"Well, you've said you're curious about his world, whatever it is that our entire world is only a game in, a small part of. Maybe you can ask to explore his world. It'd give you the opportunity to spend more time with him and let him earn your trust, anyway," she offered.

Link nodded softly, then whistled to get BEN's attention. "Alright, BEN, we've talked it over. First, I want to know what favor it is you want…"

"Actually, it's a favor specifically from Tatl," they explained.

"Wait, me?" she questioned.

"...my daughter has watched me play this game a lot. And she's absolutely fallen in LOVE with you, she ADORES seeing you on screen. Her first birthday is in a few months, and there's... Circumstances about my life, and now hers, that will make her very different from other children, with so many secrets to keep. She could really use having a companion by her side, a friend to offer wisdom and company and help when she needs it. A copy of you, like how I copied Epona, to watch over her and make her feel less alone…" BEN said.

"...you have a daughter?" Link asked.

"And a boyfriend. Soon to be husband," BEN explained, holding up their hand to show off their ring.

Tatl let out a soft chime at this. "Well... I'm certainly flattered you think I'd make a good companion to her…"

BEN smiled softly. "I don't expect an answer today, don't worry. There's still a few months before her birthday. And I understand if it's not something you're comfortable with…"

"...we have a proposal for you, in that case," Link began. "You want to make amends to us. We're admittedly curious about this world outside of our own. So, let us explore. Show us your life, and what lies outside this "game", and earn our trust. Then we'll consider it."

BEN thought this over. They'd have to be careful, but this wasn't impossible… "...I can't completely remove you from the game. I'd have to copy you, then merge the copy and your true self after. It's basically the same thing, though, you'd keep the memories and everything. And you'd have to do EXACTLY as I say, I... REALLY can't have attention drawn to myself or the people I live with. If there's something that catches your attention, you can't gawk, just stay calm and ask me. And there's going to be a LOT, the real world is nothing like this one. Hylian sign doesn't match up with any sign language in my world, so you'll at least be able to speak freely. But if you can do that, and trust that I'm keeping us both safe when I tell you to do something... I'll happily show you around."

Link considers this, then nods. He holds out his hand to BEN, who shakes it.

"Then we have a deal."

#the hero of thunderthighs #creepypasta #ben drowned #fic #fanfic #(y'all deserve to know the Google Docs title for this is 'uh-oh BENny-wenny done a fucky-wucky')

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spnsmile · 5 years ago

Text

"I believe in her."

Cas couldn't take his eyes away from Dean. Even when Sam left, all he could do is stare and when Dean notices, he returns it with intent.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"You don't really believe her, right? Billie?"

"Why the sudden change of mind?" Dean takes a sip of his beer. Castiel looks at him thoughtfully.

"Sam's just... Asking the right question, I mean. What's her end game? What happens if Jack succeeds? What's next...?"

"Ain't it paradise?"

Castiel pauses. He didn't think Dean would remember so continues frowning and watched Dean straighten himself as much as his bowlegs would allow.

"Well, no choice but go with the greater of the two evils, Cas. And right now the guy who's planning the old comedy "wipe out the world" takes the cake."

"Dean, she's Death. As far as I'm concerned if any entity out there wants you dead for good, it's her. You're not worried she could use this opportunity to get you? Like killing two birds with blunt force of one stone... in one very violent throw... Don't laugh, she of all people wants you dead."

Cas swallows hard, the idea cementing in his brain now he's vocal about it.

And Dean just chuckles?

"She could. But if she's using us to get rid of Chuck, then that means wanting me dead also takes the back burner. For now we see eye to eye. Chuck has to go first dibs. If she needs to use us then we gotta hold hands, run up to the sunset and see where she takes us."

"That is highly optimistic view, even for you, Dean. Considering she's been trying to get you killed

"She's death, it's her obsession, Cas. Talking about death." the hunter smirks, making the angel bristle.

"This isn't funny, Dean."

"I know, Cas. You know I get it, okay. But whatever she's got drawn up her blue print, doesn't change the fact that she still gotta line up the queue." Dean shrugs and it's not nonchalance that Castiel sees in his eyes.

It's absolute faith for this cause. One where Dean will be fighting with him until the last battle.

Until his last breath. After that, what?

Castiel closes his eyes.

"I'm saying I don't want you to die." he finally says, all raw emotions out. He feels Dean look his way, know the startled expression is in there without needing to look and hates it.

Why Dean always need to be surprise when someone tells him they don't want him dead never ceases to anger him.

Like Dean believes everyone wants him dead. Then again, considering things he's been through...

"Hey, Cas?"

Castiel engages the man with a look.

And like its not enough that they've been throwing furtive looks at each other in the presence of Sam, the man has the gall to stand and seat in that distracting position where he can fully see the man's lips and thick bowlegs presenting just within his reach while smiling like he know what he's doing.

The way Dean can look so full of affection with green eyes that just flickers expressively towards his direction with long lashes dusting his freckled cheeks. The way he opens his emotions to Castiels without restraint, letting him glimpse the soul so bright in its form he once rebuilt

I want closer

But he stays where he is, even when Dean openly invites him silently to come closer, his eyes expectant and soft and full of love.

Cas remains where he is perched.

Control. He gives it seven seconds count to take over the reel of feelings pulling him to Dean. The same way when Dean's eyes were grateful and bursting and happy, almost singing praises when they reconciled after his solemn prayer. Dean is gazing at him with the same adoration same loving affection overflowing and so full of hope.

So full of love. Something Castiel knows he cannot accept so he ducks his eyes. He knows exactly why the pull is strong this time. It's Dean. Dean's longing.

Dean's prayers.

So loud and intense. It wants him.

It's madness how the tables have turned. Unlike before where the boat is tipping on his side, this time, Dean's the one putting the weight. Dean's the one screaming in silence of his love.

But he can't. Not yet.

He has a mission here otherwise... He thinks of Jack and the mission.

Focus...

But it's too late when he looked up, he only sees Dean smile sadly and nod, before finishing the last whiskey on his glass, the sparks in his eyes dimming.

Dean wipes his chin with the back of his hand, his lips making smacking sound too loud to ignore.

"See you later, Cas." he says quietly, monotone and Castielf, angel that he is feels the swift slap of coldness on his skin. The worst was when Dean turns to go without meeting Castiel's eyes even when the angel has pushed himself off his wall and was waiting, but Dean goes- moves away.

Dean is leaving him and thwe sharp jab on the organ functioning as his heart makes Castiel call Dean back.

"Wait." He finds his hand curling on Dean's elbow, pulling him back.

"Dean." he hesitates, unable to pluck up the courage to say in fear that he might say too much. But ever as it happens, it's Dean who easrs him out of his misery with a simple flicker on his eyes and careful smile.om his lips. Castiel relaxes. Dean is still looking deeply in his eyes. "I want some."

"Want something from me?" Dean licks his lips, then raises both eyebrows when Cas eyes empty glass he's holding. "Oh." and Dean laughs in embarassment for some reason, the flush color on his cheeks gives Cas a wonderful view of his tanning freckles.

"Wanna drink with me?"

"Yeah, so bad, I'm thirsty for you."

Dean is in love with him and the hunter isn't even trying to hide it anymore. These are the thoughts that played across Castiel's mind as he sit with Dean in the library, listening to Deam praise him, Dean giving him all his attention and Dean being just too endearing.

Tried as he might not to fall for it like when Dean was praying to him in Purgatory, Castiel can't help gazing back with the same contentment and joy. Overflowing happiness of just sitting here, talking and talking like they haven't spoken to each other in years.

And the best part?

Dean's smiling unbiddenly with eyes just taking in Castiel. He sees the way Dean catches him smile, the way Dean's cheeks blushes. Castiel was glad there was a table between them or he was afraid what his instincts might do on impulse with Dean being like that.

He wants to kiss him. Instead, grabs his glasses without really drinking. He just listens to Dean's voice. Listen to Dean talk to him and it reminds suddenly of his fear of losing everything.

He realizes there's too little time to be with Dean so he memorizes everything. He memorizes a lot, even the exact moment Dean throws that wonderful look and raises a glass in his direction.

Cas' heart leaps in the air and he too is smiling and loving Dean so much, the only pull back to his heart when they toasted is the fact he can't tell Dean.

He wouldn't think about it for now. He too has faith in his choice and that is Jack. He is choosing Jack. Jack who is the answer to Castiel's crumbling faith whenever he thinks of the number of ways he can lose Dean.

"Hey."

Castiel looks up. He didn't notice Dean already standing in front of him. The angel blinks.

"What?"

"I was just telling Jody good night. She just called, asking how everybody is... And i told her I'm a very good kid today. She told me I'm drunk." Dean pouts.

"You want me to detoxify you?" Castiel tilts his head inquiringly. Dean stares with heavy eyes.

"Yeah, may need to drive."

"Where are you going?" Castiel frowns, a hand already raised. Dean blinks then slowly levels his eyes on the angel sitting in the chair.

"Somewhere. I feel happy, you see... But sad too... So I already spent my happy here with you. Time to go crush the bad. So driving."

"Why are you sad?" he cups Dean's face in alarm, his little world on his hand. So he wasn't mistaken. Behind Dean's eyes...

"It's okay..." Dean smiles, "Everyone's a little sad inside."

"Why?" he insists.

A long pause. Dean blinks slowly.

"Can't be together, you and I... So i gotta... Uh... Have to deal the sad without you...if we can't be together..."

"But we're together here."

Dean shakes his head. "I'm choosing. So are you. In the end we're gonna... I'm gonna have to deal with myself alone. There's no you out there. I have to prepare."

"Dean, what the hell are you talking about?" he hears him but he cannot understand him. Dean kneels in front of him all of a sudden, both hands taking Castiel's hands and clasping them with his own. The look Dean gives him after that is pure and honest, like souls bursting of its true form.

"I'm saying I understand why you can't... We can't. I understand it's the world or us... And that's not even a choice. I'm saying I understand you're the only angel who can save the world. So i want you to do it without holding back. Without thinking about whether I live or die. I want you to do that, Cas."

Castiel gasps. He sees no doubt in Dean's eyes. Watches as Dean brings his hand to his lips gently.

"Me dying doesn't compare to the world, Cas. So dont worry about me or Billie or whatever hell. You got your hands full, I got mine. So... i gotta drive."

Castiel sighs, then kisses Dean on the forehead. Clarity returns in the green eyes that blinks at him in surprise. Then Castiel stands up, nearly knocking Dean on his feet.

"I'm going with you."

"No, Cas. This is not the point-"

"I don't understand the point alright. I don't." Castiel grabs Dean's collar, sharp eyes full of meaning. "Don't make me understand why after everything... why after everything I've done, I'm still not going to be allowed to stay with you. I won't understand. And if this universe insists that? They're going to have to make a different bargain because I want you at the end of the road, Dean. It's you I think about when I think of win. And when that happens, I'll tell you loud and clear. I'll tell you what you already know. What I can't tell you now. I will. And it's not goodbye. So hold on to me. I will always find you. Do you believe me?"

It takes one smile from Dean and their foreheads pressing together.

"I believe you, Cas." ✨

#aww that turned out sweeter #cas x dean coda #destiel ficlet #i believe in destiel #cas x dean #cas x dean fic #destiel cas x dean #castiel #dean winchester

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janellion · 4 years ago

Note

Thank you, my princess, you're correct. My pronouns are they/them. If you have any questions, feel free to direct them to @your-knight-anon, (I'm not sure as to why I can't tag myself) and I'll get to them as soon as possible. Remember, though, my heart only belongs to Kayla, so I don't welcome any flirting.

Do you believe in soulmates? I absolutely adore soulmate au's, and there's something thrilling about the idea of it in real life. Perhaps not even romantic soulmates, just someone you share a connection with that transcends all rational thought. And of course you see some couples, that are just so meant to be together you can't help but think fate played a part in their meeting. I personally believe I have a soulmate, and I think I've met them, but I'm not entirely sure. They're so far away, almost twelve hours, and can you ever be certain without meeting someone? Who knows. I love them. They love me. It's not even romantic, there's just... something. I knew it from the moment I met her. Do you think you have a soulmate? (I'm sorry to admit this, but Bokuto does not count.) I'm genuinely curious to see what you have to say.

In regards to the soulmate thing, you should know it doesn't diminish my attraction to you in the slightest. I don't feel any less for you simply because I believe fate has brought me closer to another person.

With love, and deep admiration, your knight. 💞💘💖

hi my knight 💘 i’ll tag your account at the end of this ask! was that helpful last time?

to answer your question, yes i do believe in soulmates. and i absolutely believe in platonic as well as romantic soulmates. but i also believe that theres more than one soulmate out there for people. maybe that means multiple platonic or multiple romantic or some combination of the two — but i truly do believe that there are souls out there that ours have known before. people that you connect with and feel connected to, regardless of how long you’ve known them, whether you’ve met, the distance between you, or any other number of factors

i like to think that both fate, or the universe, and choice both play a role when it comes to soulmates. because yes, there are some people we are inexplicably drawn to, that we feel like we’ve known before and want to know, regardless of the barriers that may be in place. but it’s the choice to foster that connection that makes it truly beautiful. i think connecting with people for a fleeting moment is something we can all do — it’s maintaining that connection, developing it, and growing together, that really speaks to the soulmate bond

i don’t know if that made any sense, but that’s what i have off the top of my head. regarding your soulmate, if you think you’ve met her, you probably have. i always go with my gut when it comes to feelings like that. i think usually our intuition and our hearts knows more than we do. and i don’t think we can ever be truly certain of anything without a degree of trust. maybe you’ve never met in person before, and maybe you’re 12 hours apart, but those things only speak to the strength of your connection and your ability to foster that relationship in spite of those barriers. and i think that “something” you feel is the most special part of soulmates — theres truly something indescribable about it

i think i have! well, a few anyway. i won’t get into it here, but there are some souls who i feel like i’ve known forever, who i connect with like no one else and who make me feel so loved, and who i want to give love to in return. i think platonic love is vastly underrated and i truly have so much platonic love for these people. i think i’ve met one of my romantic soulmates too! (and no, i’m not referring to bokuto haha but i do love him too)

thank you for clarifying, my knight 💘 i promise i’m not upset or anything. i’m not a jealous person at all, and you should experience as much as you can in this life. i think we all have so much love to give, theres no reason to feel like we need to ration it out

i’m happy for you, my knight, truly 💘 and i hope your soulmate knows how lucky she is to have you in her life. you are truly a special soul

sending all my love, my knight 💘

@your-knight-anon

#my knight 💘#the family 🖤✨#kayla and knight anon talk philosophy ✨#im sorry i rambled on so long

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crimsonrae · 4 years ago

Text

Across the Road, At the Brothel

Chapter Ten

Summary: Jaskier fell in love any day that the sun rose in the East. It was a trifling, pleasurable experience for him. Even when he was jumping out a window to avoid cuckolded husbands. So what happens when his trifles start to become more significant? Jaskier/OC. Some Yennefer/Geralt

A/N: Jaskier is just too adorable not to write about. This is a relationship development story with an OC. There will be smut in later chapters and plenty of angst.

Rating: Mature

Simple and Complex

"Twas early one morning a fair maid arose,

And slipped away with her lover's clothes,

And off to the fields a sure she goes

With naught e'na kiss in the morning early."

An unwilling smile pulled at Lyrra's lips as she smothered a sigh and attempted to pay her bard no mind. She finished hanging a few freshly laundered shirts and trousers as she listened to his approach. She had slipped out of her cottage long before Jaskier had woken. A basket of laundry in hand as she went to the stream – Geralt had roused enough from his place by her hearth to note her exit but seemed incline to rest longer himself. She was grateful for the solitude. It gave her a chance to gather her thoughts and calm the whirlwind that Jaskier had incited in her. She needed the distance and the time to figure out -

"Are you really just going to ignore me?"

Him.

Lyrra glanced around the shirt she was pinning up with a raised brow to see him standing proudly with his hands on his hips, "Did you say something?"

Jaskier narrowed his gaze at her in an odd mix of exasperation and amusement, "Lyrra."

"Jaskier." She intoned and bit back a smirk as he huffed.

A sly glint entered his eyes as he began to sing again.

"The bard arose and he discovered her sin,

His heart and his song composed quite the din."

Lyrra could not help the faint laugh that left her as she listened to him. Puckish amusement danced in his blue orbs as he sidled up next to her and slid an arm around her waist.

"And he had the will for to greet her so slim

With a kiss in the morning early."

She didn't need the last line of his song to see the kiss coming. A quiet sigh left her as she welcomed his familiar embrace. Her skin still tingled with the memory of their coupling and the calm she had achieved was swiftly thwarted by his touch. Reluctantly, she pulled away.

Jaskier smiled contentedly at her, "Good morning."

"It's afternoon, you slept the morning away." Lyrra replied lightly as she moved her basket under the tree her clothesline was tethered on, "And I'm rather sure those aren't the words to that song."

"Ehh, I'm a bard, pretty much gives me free rein to change the words." Jaskier shrugged. His keen eyes cataloged her every move, "You should've slept the morning away too. You were up as long as I was."

As if to prove his point, Lyrra found herself swallowing a yawn. In all actuality, she had been up longer than he had. Her mind had not been able to let the events of the night settle and her dreams had taken a dark turn once she had drifted off. She still wasn't sure what had come over her in that bathing chamber, she was never that bold. Yet, bold was the only way to describe her actions from the time he entered until...well. A blush rose to her cheeks and she could see a salacious grin crossing Jaskier's lips from her periphery at the sight. He knew well where her mind had gone.

"Stop it." She murmured lowly, refusing to look in his direction.

"Stop what?" His tone dripped with quiet laughter.

"You know what." She glowered faintly at him and wished that she still had a few shirts to pin to the line, if only to have something to do besides stare at him.

He tilted his head and his mirthful smile continued to tease her as he said, "You are adorably shy in the light of day. I do hope that I never make you stop blushing."

It was her turn to huff, "Jaskier."

He chuckled quietly and reached for her again, "Now what happened to the woman who had her wicked way with me last night, hmm?"

Lyrra was sure her face was scarlet now at his words as she allowed him to draw her close again, "She came to her senses."

"That sounds...not good." Jaskier murmured as he tilted her chin up and frowned bemusedly at her, "I suppose it's time we actually have that talk."

Lyrra shifted awkwardly under his gaze as she ruefully wondered which talk he was referring to, their tryst or her back. Neither was a conversation she particularly wanted to have, if for completely different reasons. She had been grateful when the topic had fallen to the wayside upon returning to her cottage.

She forced a smile when she realized she was taking too long to respond, "That talk."

"Yes, the one you've been trying to figure out how to avoid since I brought it up last night." Jaskier uttered faintly amused as she looked away somewhat sheepishly and bit back a sigh, "Believe it or not, not a conversation I want to have either, but as fun, as our little dance has been... we do need to -"

He waved his hand about as he tried to find the right words. Lyrra took pity on him as her smile turned a little more genuine, "Clear the air? Create some boundaries? Form an understanding?"

Jaskier nodded, "Yes, that. That would be good."

Lyrra stifled a giggle as she saw her nerves reflected in his expression. It amazed her how he could go from unerringly confident to uncertain in a matter of seconds, especially around her. She was not someone to be nervous around. Her fingers itched with the need to touch him, reassure him. The impulse to soothe his quiet anxiety was strong and unexpected. She wasn't a tactile person by any means, she usually went out of her way to avoid being touched. Jaskier was her opposite in this manner, he felt everything, like an overgrown toddler. He picked up, played, listened, and sometimes tasted everything with which he came into contact. He took comfort in touch, she knew this implicitly.

As if to prove her unspoken point, he seemed to sense her reluctance and reached out to caress her cheek, "What is it? Talk to me."

"It's nothing – I just...I tend to get carried away with you."

Jaskier raised a brow as he prodded her to continue, "And that's a bad thing?"

"It's not like me." She mumbled quietly and resisted the urge to fidget. She didn't know how to explain to him the maelstrom he made her feel. How she found him both comforting and disconcerting. How she allowed him more liberties than anyone since...since ever.

"Again, that's a bad thing?" He was more curious now than concerned. Jaskier had been far from surprised when he had woken to find her gone... simply disappointed. He was quickly beginning to learn that avoidance was his lover's instinctual response to anything that made her -

"It's an uncomfortable thing." Lyrra grimaced.

Uncomfortable. He smiled gently at her, at least she was somewhat aware of her tendencies, "You know, I typically don't do serious."

Lyrra blinked at the strange segue, "Really? Hadn't noticed."

He bit back a laugh at her dry tone as he made his point, "Serious is complicated and boring and messy. I like easy and fun, simple... but you, my lovely Lyrra, you are very complicated and serious. But I can say with absolute certainty you are not boring. You make me curious."

She merely stared at him still unsure where he was going with his little lecture.

"Curious. Confused. Uncomfortable." Jaskier answered placing a special emphasis on that last word, "No, strike that – you don't make me uncomfortable; you make me uncertain. None of that is necessarily a bad thing, you know?"

"Hasn't been my experience." Lyrra replied softly.

"No, I suppose it hasn't." His fingers brushed across her back and the brand he now knew rested there and she tensed at the reminder, "I don't think that I make you uncomfortable, either. I think it's that you enjoy yourself with me that discomfits you. Tell me you didn't enjoy yourself last night."

Her cheeks burned and she couldn't meet his eyes as she fumbled for a response, "I... you know, I did."

"Do you want to do it again?" He asked quietly and linked his fingers with hers.

Lyrra felt her stomach flutter at the question as she tried vainly to ignore the heat that rushed through her veins, "...yes."

"So do I." He murmured softly and unconsciously leaned into her, "Is that really so unsettling?"

Her grey eyes were drawn to his lips, "...yes. You unsettle me, Jaskier."

"How?"

"I crave you. I've known you barely a fortnight." Lyrra whispered, not missing the desirous look that entered his eyes at her words, "And I crave your kisses and your touch... even your voice. I don't crave people. I don't know what to do with you."

"I think you know exactly what to do with me." He couldn't help the tease that left his tongue even as she hit his arm, "Ow."

Vaguely annoyed, she attempted to pull away from him again, but he refused to let her step back. "Alright, okay. I'm sorry. I don't do serious, remember? It's just... this doesn't have to be hard, it can be simple."

Lyrra sighed frustrated, "Nothing about this is simple."

"Only because you're making it complicated." Jaskier pointed out somewhat humorously, "We already agreed to not get married and after last night, I think we're agreed we can't be merely friends. Especially, since we both admitted we want a repeat..." His words slowly caught up with him and he offered her an acknowledging nod, "Right, we may be a little complicated."

Lyrra snorted and shook her head at him. He was utterly ridiculous and she adored it despite herself, "Let me make this simple. I like you, Jaskier. That's simple. You like me back, that's simple too. Last night was great and yes, I want it to happen again, but I'm not sure that it should."

"Why?" He breathed the questioned startled.

The possibility of them not continuing their affair had not occurred to the bard, she could see that plainly and sighed again, "In a day, a week, sometime rather soon you're going to be gone, Jaskier... And I don't - I don't want to miss you."

He looked like he had been struck and Lyrra tried not to wince under his stare or to follow after him when he stepped away. She felt cold at his abrupt distance. Perhaps, she had worded that too harshly. Guilt twisted in her gut as she silently pleaded with him to understand what she couldn't say.

"Right." A bitter laugh escaped him, "Oh, avoidance should really be your middle name, Lyrrana."

"Jaskier-"

"No." He shook his head and cut her off, "You don't want to miss me? That's shit, if ever I heard it. Let's reword that, shall we? What you really mean to say is: Jaskier, you're going to hurt me, so let's not even bother."

A stone sank with a ferocious crash in her stomach as his words and gaze scolded her like an unruly child. She wanted to be angry with him, but he wasn't entirely wrong. She stared helplessly, not sure how to respond or even if she should.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. I really should've rented that room for us last night." He murmured almost sadly, "I'm not going to hurt you, Lyrra."

She swallowed tightly, "I know..."

"Do you?!" His disbelief seared her and she found she couldn't meet his gaze any longer, "Do I scare you, Lyrra? Last night did I -"

"No. No, Jaskier." Lyrra interrupted before he could finish his question, "I wanted last night. You didn't push me or force me."

Jaskier stared at her as he replayed everything he had said and done in that bathing chamber. A slow realization began to creep on him, "But I did scare you."

"No."

Despite the certainty in her voice, he knew it was a lie. It wasn't physical intimacy that was causing Lyrra's hesitance over their affair, it was emotional, "I did. When I saw your back. When I demanded you let me in, I scared you."

Lyrra's lips tightened into a thin line as she glared at him, "No."

Jaskier didn't seem to hear her as he muttered, "How am I attracted to the most emotionally stunted people on the bloody Continent?"

"Jaskier." She sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose, "Can we forget this conversation and go back to where you kissed me good morning?"

He looked as frustrated as she felt as he, in turn, uttered, "No. I promised you last night we go at your pace, not mine... I'll see if I can get my room back at the inn."

"You don't have to." Lyrra started softly.

Jaskier forced a smile at her and she hated it, "Yeah, I do. I think we both need our space. Simpler this way."

She went to protest further, but he cut her off once again.

"Oh...one more thing." A determined expression marred his visage as he swept back into her space and pressed his lips to hers. Lyrra gasped faintly at the sudden contact and he stole the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Unconsciously, her hands rose to tangle in his hair as he backed her against the trunk of the tree. A fiery thrill rushed through her veins as coherent thought left her and all she could do was cling to him as she simply felt.

She felt his warmth and the subtle strength in his body as he pressed against her. She felt his almost desperate grip on her hips and tasted his passion as he took his fill. He hadn't kissed her like this before... He was usually gentle, curious, searching, but this was demanding, almost possessive, it was dizzying. It wasn't until she completely melted into his touch that he pulled away and pressed his head to hers.

A smug gleam sparkled in his eyes, "That's what I thought too."

Utter confusion descended on Lyrra as she stared at him, "What?"

His smile was even smugger, "The thing about having this talk is that declaring our intentions goes both ways. I'll stay at the inn, but I fully intend to end up back in your bed and if I happen to fall into your heart, all the better. You don't get to ignore me. You don't get to be afraid of me, Lyrra. I'm not that scary."

No, he was terrifying.

He stole one more kiss before starting his trek to the cottage. Lyrra was left bewildered to stare after him. She shouted out the only thing that came to mind before he got too far, "This is far from simple!"

Jaskier spun on his heel and grinned, "Yeah, but I already told you – you're complicated. And I like you. Besides, I'm not that easy to get rid of, ask Geralt."

He disappeared around the bend a second later and Lyrra covered her face in disbelief, "He's absolutely mad."

»»————-　　————-««

Geralt felt a headache coming on as he headed back towards the woods. Enough time had passed since he had last checked the clearing that whoever had created the mutated fleders would have had the chance to find their corpses. He hoped anyway. Otherwise, he would need to figure out another way to track down those creature's creator and that meant spending more time in the Toussaint countryside than he was comfortable. Especially, now that Jaskier and Lyrra were...

He didn't know what the fuck those two were doing.

Which in part was why he had a headache now. Jaskier had been gathering his things when he had left the cottage, muttering under his breath about being drawn to emotionally constipated people.

Geralt didn't ask.

He would really rather not know.

What he had gleaned was that they were getting rooms at the inn. Despite his earlier protestations about overstaying their welcome in Lyrra's home, he wasn't looking forward to dealing with the general populace again. He pushed the thought aside as he moved quietly through the brush. The smell of rot had only become heavier in the days that followed and he no longer needed to follow his tracks back to the clearing. The other change was the faint buzzing of flies that filled his ears. The fleders decomp had attracted more insects. His teeth clenched as he resigned himself to the fact that the creator of the two beasts either had not bothered to look for them or the corpses hadn't been discovered yet.

There certainly hadn't been any talk amongst the locals about the discovery of two fleder corpses. He sighed as he stepped fully out of the woods and casually observed the clearing again. The flesh was almost completely gone from the fleders now... wait...fleder. One. Geralt tilted his head and eyed the shadows behind the first corpse. He wasn't mistaken there was only one body now. The other was gone.

He strode forward and bent to study the ground. There were drag marks, but that could have been from an animal dragging the body away for food. Yet, he found that scenario unlikely. Most scavengers could sense a potentially dangerous meal. The venom the fleder created would likely have made it toxic to any creature that attempted to eat it.

More silently than he had entered the clearing, he exited following the tracks. Even then, he could have followed his nose the stench was so bad. Whoever or whatever had come to claim the body had done so recently. It wasn't long before he stumbled onto a narrow path.

The trees had thinned and he could make out neatly organized rows of barren grape vines through the foliage. He must have been on the edge of one of the vineyards. Frowning, he continued on his hunt. Geralt noted the unnatural stillness in the air as he walked. He heard no birds or little critters scurrying through the brush. There were no distant sounds of farmhands, not even a breeze of wind to stir the leaves. A familiar twinge in his gut had him ill at ease, he wasn't the only predator afoot.

He must have walked a quarter-mile when he did finally hear it. It was low and shrill like an out of tune string on a lute. A song. Someone was singing. His twinge turned into a solid sinking instinct as he had a good assumption of what he was about to discover. His hand twitched for his sword as he dimly realized he had not brought the silver one with him. He had anticipated a human threat, not a monster. Geralt knew he had a choice to make – he could continue on and have his assumptions proven correct, but be ill-equipped to deal with the threat or he could head back and return later to a threat that had potentially disappeared.

Sighing quietly, he drew his sword and bent to pull a small silver dagger from his boot. It wasn't much, but it would have to do. He skirted to the edge of the path as he moved like a stalking cat around the bend. His golden eyes missed nothing as he took in the dilapidated ruins of an old manor. Past the tumbled walls he could make out the form of a woman. Her singing was louder now as she hunched over the rotted form of the missing fleder. A bruxa.

He watched for a moment as the bruxa continued to sing. Her head tilted back enough that he could see what appeared to be tears streaming down her cheeks as she caressed the festered corpse. Geralt frowned in confusion.

Had the bruxa made the fleders? Was that even possible?

It wasn't unheard of for bruxae to hunt in packs, but he had never known a bruxa to bother with a fleder. The creatures were usually too stupid and wild to be of notice to the high order vampires.

A low grumbling sounded behind him and Geralt stiffened. It seemed fate had taken his choice from his hand. He whipped around to see a very alive, very hungry looking fleder. The commotion had garnered the attention of the bruxa and her song turned into a screeching cry.

"Fuck." Geralt muttered.

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