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simpxxstan · 3 months ago

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svt + nerdy y/n!!

a/n: this is absolutely self-indulgent. i'm sorry if i'm writing slower than usual, i'm trying to get back on track!

sfw content. gender neutral reader and established relationship.

very mildly suggestive (pg13 audience only!). nerd here refers to anyone with academic interests or a general high level of interest in uncommon/niche topics. i've tried to make the concept of nerd as inclusive as possible.

seungcheol

not a nerd himself but will encourage you 100% to be a nerd- buys you new pair of glasses when your eyesight worsens, new documentary CDs and even membership of a hundred foreign journals.

defo has a sapiosexuality kink- you can guess how attracted he is to your intelligence. but he's the smarter one on the streets, so he'll take care of you in every way possible while you stay in your little geeky bubble.

it's always baby let me recharge your phone bill for you; baby please eat your meals on time; baby you can't stop drinking water because of exam stress; baby if you're pulling an all-nighter, call me over, i don't want you to stay up all night alone.

jeonghan

loving jeonghan involves so much cuddling and lazy time when you both just lie under the blankets, his head is on your stomach and your fingers in his hair. it's at these moments that he encourages you to read out for him and he hums along whenever you pause to check if he's fallen asleep.

but jeonghan draws the line sometimes. he is supportive- but only when you're not trading off your time with him for the sake of peering into books.

you can sit with me and solve bivariate normal distributions or whatever you have to do, he whines into your ear. but you keep tickling me and i mess up the calculations! he laughs at this, i can't help it if you're just so ticklish, baby.

joshua

three years ago, joshua would've laughed if someone told him he would be more interested in the latest discoveries of astrophysics than in who's winning the la liga matches. but here he is- successfully converted into a nerd entirely because of your influence.

joshua was ridiculously easy to convert. all it had taken was the shiny, lovesick look in your eyes when you'd ask him if he wanted to watch a documentary on alternate universe theories with you, and he'd said yes in a heartbeat. and then it had just been a spiral into the metaphorical black hole. and he does NOT regret it, as long as he gets to spend time with you.

josh is this getting too boring? you'd quietly ask after an hour of the documentary, guilty for being too absorbed in it to even look at your boyfriend and see how he's faring. but joshua is melting at your concern, so even if it was a little bit boring, he'll reassure you sweetly, not at all baby! this is so new and interesting!!

jun

yes he may be from china, but clearly you know more about his own roots than he does! whenever you're watching news, jun loves it when you fill him up on some quirky background info that he didn't know about, but adds so much value to the context of the news.

in awe of your academic capabilities and keeps bragging about you to everyone. feels so proud when he can contribute to something you're passionate about too. he CANNOT fathom why someone as nerdy and intellectual as you should want to be with him.

junie, you're so smart! you praise him after he reports a profit he's making on a stocks investment. he shyly giggles, not like you, baby. you shake your head, i may be book smart. but you're street-smart!

soonyoung

hyper and calm partners!!!! he used to get annoyed with how you would pore into your books all day and how focused you were on your studies, but now he sees the charm in it all. it makes you happy, and in turn, he gets to wrap himself around you and be as clingy as he likes.

he really tries to follow with your nerdiness, his enthusiasm is there he swears! it's just not his fault that his attention span is so low and he ends up staring at your lips more than actually listening to you.

baby are you even listening? you ask, pouting. it drive him even more insane and he ends up giving in to his instincts and kissing you. yes baby! i heard everything!

wonwoo

WILL BE GEEKY WITH YOU! i imagine the two of you sitting next to each other at a table, him focused on his games and you're focused on your studies, your feet in his lap, and you're both sharing the same cup of coffee.

he loves collecting pretty little diaries for you, because he knows you write little poems and trivia in those diaries. whenever he's out on tour, he's bringing a locally-made diary for you, and if possible, he customises it with your name imprinted on it too.

wonwoo, there's a new adaptation of pygmalion getting shown in the theatre! do you want to go watch? i want to take notes from this adaptation and write about it on my blog... you need not even explain so much, wonwoo bought the tickets already when you began to talk about it.

jihoon

feels so giddy when he comes home from work and the first thing you do (in between his kiss attacks) is tell him a new fact you learnt today in whatever is your latest obsession.

jihoon loves his personal space, so when he's found you who's equally fond of your personal space and interests, it's literally a match made in heaven. they say it'll put distance between the two of you, but it really does quite the opposite!

jihoonie, can you help me learn this table? maybe ask me randomly and i'll try to answer. jihoon wants to tell the table to self-destruct from the entire world because you're near to tears trying to mug it up. but he doesn't. instead he says, love, how about i make a song for you which simplifies this? like a mnemonic but nicer.

seokmin

man was too desperate to get out of school to understand why you choose to be a nerd. but it's hella cute, so he doesn't need to understand. he's obsessed with your quirky habits- the way you bite your lips when you're finding a topic difficult, the way your glasses slip down your nose and you irritatedly push it up again, the way you crave the hot chocolate he makes when you're under exam stress.

admires your smartness so much! WILL brag about it to everyone he meets. WILL bring up the fact you told him yesterday, in today's conversation with his members just to show off your smartness.

posts stories about you being so cute while working hard for your exams but it's just you with oiled hair, acne breaking out like hellfire, and cramming notes at breakneck speed (you don't talk to him for an hour after this, but he doesn't get why you're so embarrassed, he only sees cuteness.)

mingyu

another one who WILL be nerdy with you. mingyu's always been a curious boy- even as a child, he would be drawn into new ideas easily. nothing is different now, and mingyu sits with you often when you're studying, his hands often wandering to your shoulders to massage them, and bringing you a regular supply of ramen and snacks.

you have a habit of repeating to yourself what you read, so mingyu steps in and asks you to talk to him and explain the topics to him as if you're teaching him. safe to say, he gets VERY turned on after such mock 'teaching' lessons and eventually loses focus on what you're saying.

gyu do you remember that paper i wrote last month? yeah, it got selected for a journal. you say it so nonchalantly that any other person would think you're showing off. but mingyu knows how much it means to you, and you're only downplaying it because you think mingyu won't think it to be a big deal, as most academic snobs tend to do. but lucky for you, mingyu knows exactly how precious an achievement it is to you, so he shows his appreciation to you instead of merely saying it (by showering you with kisses that make you tingle all over).

minghao

OH oh. will listen to your rants with the sweetest subtle smile on his face. will buy encyclopedias and reference books for your mini library. will take you to speaker sessions, workshops and other such informative events across the city, even places you've no idea about.

the most ardent supporter you could have asked for, he is in awe of your mental capabilities and your intelligence. you both have a lot of quality time where you're just sitting together and doing your things, but minghao values it like no other activity in the world.

hao? there's a new parcel at the door. you call him when a delivery arrives and he's at work. open it. he may not be around to see your reaction, but he can sure imagine the grin that's bursting out on your face when you squeal his name into the phone on seeing the hardcover special edition version of your favourite collection of essays.

seungkwan

lots of wide-eyed wondering at why you would want to stay rooted at a spot and read books over playing badminton with him. he wants to complain that you've chosen your academics over him, but that'd be a lie, so he can only half-heartedly whine about it.

comes around to your point of view as soon as you start showing him documentaries (on animals living in the Himalayas, as per your latest obsession). it begins with him finding the animals cute, to eventually finding you cute when you animatedly talk about them. and once he's totally converted, it's fairly easy for you to convince him to help you with exams.

expect eye rolls, smug smiles and hair being brushed back nonchalantly when the questions he had asked last night from your texts actually matched with the ones asked in the exam. i told you, baby, he whispers in your ear. now i want my reward, you've been drowned in books for way too long and not paying any attention to your boyfriend.

vernon

it was a surprise to him as well when he realised he's got a massive sapiosexuality kink. as someone who's run as far away from the education system as he could, he doesn't even know why he finds it so attractive when you're being nerdy. but, well, he does.

he loves hearing you talk about whatever it is that you're learning lately, and sometimes something or the other catches his attention. and then, you know he'll dive right deep into it to know all about it, until his curiosity is satisfied.

nonie, what's the video you sent me? you ask him when you return home from uni. i wondered if you've watched this one. it explains the theories of why the harappan civilization disappeared so well. you can only smile at his enthusiasm, i bet you've been looking at conspiracy theories again, nonie. the guilty grin on his face says it all.

chan

chan listens so well, but you can't really blame him if he doesn't retain the information. he's elated simply to have you wrapped in his arms as you talk about what happened in your classes today, and his nose in the crook of your neck so he can smell your lovely scent. intermittently nods his head (just wants to rub his nose on the soft skin of your neck) and hums in agreement of what you just said (suppressing moans when he can feel your heartbeat quicken when he presses kisses to your neck too).

it doesn't matter what your new niche is, but he's indulging it. he admires your ability to stay focused in a field as demanding as academia, and he's all for you to go ahead with your interests and education as long as you want to learn.

you wake up to post-its on your forehead every day when chan has had to leave early for work: get out of the house and get fresh air. shampoo hair today, interview tomorrow. practice the introduction speech again. drink water and take vitamins. STOP DRINKING COFFEE. and you giggle at each of them, because they're all things you've tried to remember for yourself and forgotten, so chan reminds you like this, but his cute handwriting and the little XOXOXOs he's drawn all over make your heart melt.

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dark-moonlust · 2 months ago

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Heyyy so im so weak for bear hybrids and i just saw the one you posted, (LOVE IT btw), and i was wondering if you could do a sequal where reader decides to stay and lives a happy cozy life, with like cozy fires and all the bestest fur blankets and coziest bed and BIG FLUFFY BEAR MAN CUDDLES, but also like yk mad crazy sex where he likes to show off his strength and just like tosses her around, like up against walls, that thing where u like hold a girl on ur shoulders to eat her n stuff, if not thats ok i love all ur work sm 🙏🧎‍♀️🤍

Hello anon!!! Thank you for all the lovely words and the smutty idea!! I love bear hybrids, too. I'm sorry I took so long to complete. I have a lot of requests and I've been so busy lately. I'm trying to catch up on them slowly. Anyway, I hope this is to your liking!

Happy reading everyone!

Check out the first part of my bear hybrid oneshot here.

Cozy Life with your Bear Hybrid

Pairing: bear hybrid x fem reader Summary: you live a cozy life with your giant bear of a man. And you love it. Warnings: minors-ageless accounts don't interact, 18+, smut, size kink, overstimulation, oral (fem receiving), huge 🍆, p in v sex, lots of 💦.

The wind screamed outside, rolling through the trees, yet it was only a whisper in the warmth of your cave. The fire crackled in the hearth and you were wrapped up in your mate's thick, muscled arms—the big bear of a beast who smelled like woodsmoke earthy perfume. He was warm and super cuddly, his big frame spooning you from behind.

Thick furs were heaped high on the bed their softness wrapping around you like a cocoon. Your bear hybrid always ensured you were warm and cozy, and took great pleasure in cuddling and loving you for hours on end. That night, he had a fond deep look in his eyes that spoke of his desire to keep you close and shield you from the outer world.

His mate. Forever.

Yes, you loved your life as his other half.

Shifting slightly, he moved, drawing you even closer, burying his face in the crook of your neck, his furred bear face scratchy but exquisite against your skin. His fingers, strong and calloused, trailed carefully down your belly, over your thighs, making sure his sharp nails were sheathed. Humming in satisfaction, you sunk deeper into him.

There was nowhere else you'd rather be, nothing else you'd rather do than spend every day surrounded by the warmth of your giant, soft bear, who was just as possessive and tender toward you.

"Hmmm, I could stay like this forever," he drawled in a low voice that vibrated through your chest. “But I’m also thinking about all the things I want to do to you.”

“Like?” you challenged, hands caressing his furry arm.

“Taste your sweet honey for one,” he murmured, his voice a low, dark rumble that sent goosebumps all over your skin.

“You just love to use this reference!”

He cocked a brow. “Why not?” His voice deepened. “Your cunt leaks the sweetest honey there is. I can vouch for that.”

“You are a horny bear beast.”

Chuckling, his hand moved down your thigh, fingers pressing just hard enough to cause you to open. “Hmm, and as the bear beast I am, I should taste again. Make sure your lovely cunny is as delicious as before. I love honey. Your honey.”

“You are insatiable.” Your face felt warm at the memory of him eating you out just hours ago. Your pussy had no issue whatsoever; it clenched and pooled with your juices.

Damn… You were both insatiable.

He grinned, that familiar, smoldering look blazing in his eyes. “Sleep, cuddle, eat you out, fuck. Then repeat. That’s our schedule. Now come, mate,” he playfully tapped your thighs. “Time to let me taste your pussy.”

His tone was straightforward. As if what you did every day was perfectly normal. You touched each other, rolled around in bed, kissed, made out (a lot), and couldn't keep your hands away from each other.

And you weren't a coward or an idiot to turn away from such joy.

In a playful mood, you smacked his hands playfully and scooted off the bed. You were in the mood to tease him. He growled and you hardly had time to move when he lifted you effortlessly, as if you were weightless in his massive arms, whisking you off the ground. You hugged him firmly and moaned as he hoisted you again, slamming you against the wall.

Strong hands maneuvered you so that your legs were draped over his shoulders, your pussy exposed and dripping in front of his eager mouth. You clutched his head and peered down at him, seeing the passion in his eyes as he licked up your mound, manipulating your folds with his long thick tongue. Your head tipped back, spine arching as he sucked you in, savoring your juices as if he were eating his favorite meal—which he was.

You were his favorite delicacy.

It went on and on, his tongue playing with your tender clit, circling the tender nub. You went wild, buried your fingers in his silky fur, and tugged violently as you shattered, your body coming alive with energy. He kept going, his big hands clutching your ass, his tongue thrusting inside to taste your honey. He growled primitively, his breaths vibrating over your clit.

He could go on for hours if you let him, feasting on your cunt and doing incredible tongue tricks just to see you lose yourself in pleasure.

“Pl—ease…ha~” you trembled, your voice strained from the toe-curling orgasm he’d given you.

With a husky moan, he gently flung you back into bed, onto that sea of fur covers, his large bulk crushing you with this delicious, heavy warmth and scent. You sighed with happiness and stretched your legs wider. He leaned over you, his cock thrusting up from between his broad thighs, already dripping seed.

His hands robed over your body, caressing your legs, belly and your breasts. You arched against him, whining when his leaky cock pressed against your entrance. He toyed with your nipples and leisurely rubbed his cock across your slit, his massive shaft appearing inhumanly large in comparison to your little human hole.

“Want my big bear to fuck me,” you whispered, fingers reaching down to open the outer lips of your pussy. “Pretty please?”

He whined and pushed the blunt cockhead a tiny bit inside. “How can I deny you, love?”

“Yessss,” you moaned, wiggling your waist. You were half-dazed with pleasure and you craved every inch of him inside you.

The spark in his eyes told you he was barely holding back. He was always so gentle despite his raw desire for you.

“Easy. Look at you,” he drawled, eyes on your pretty cunt, spread by his cockhead. “Every inch of you… mine, open and soft for me.”

“Come on, no more looking,” you warned. “Inside. Need you inside. All of you.”

A gentle roll of his hip, a little wiggling from you and he was inside, every inch of him buried in your depths. He was so deep you could feel him throbbing in your bellybutton, his balls crushed against your bum. You clutched his biceps, let out a gentle pants at the thick girth spreading your hole. You felt full, but not uncomfortably so. You’d learned to take him, to accommodate his hybrid cock.

“Good girl,” he drawled, his tongue plunging into your mouth.

Tongue down your throat, he fucked you, pounded into you in deep, unhurried thrusts. He kissed you as if he was starving, as if you were the only precious person he’d spent his entire life searching for. Which was entirely true. His hands cupped and kneaded your tits, his breath warm on your mouth.

Pleasure hit you again, and you sobbed mutely, your fingers tangling in his furred shoulders as he continued to claim you, his magnificent cock pumping in and out of your slick cunt. You heard his feral grunts and the squelching sounds of your bodies colliding. Two more thrusts and he exploded, loads of cum filling you up. He spurted for several minutes, your cunt overflowing with hot seed.

“Pretty, so damn pretty,” he roared. “Good mate, taking my cock and my seed. It drips so beautifully down your thighs.”

“Too much! It always is,“ you whined, feeling the final spurts of his release.

“Oh, that’s nothing.” His eyes had that dark hungry gleam, one that told you he wasn’t done with you. “Let’s see just how much more you can take, mate, ‘cause I’m not stopping anytime soon.”

Did you enjoy?! Like, comment or reblog! It would make me so happy!

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blackkatdraws2 · 6 months ago

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1st Batch: the Inhabitants

[Blank Scripts AU (non-canonical)]

Multiple footsteps reverberated within the claustrophobic stairways of the Parable.

One strikingly beautiful old man elegantly struts up the stairs with a scowl on his face, having a heated one-sided discussion (lecture) with a poor stuttering businessman on his phone call.

The rest simply follow him, a group of special individuals who have come and now reside in this strange building for their own peculiar reasons. They don't quite understand many things about the workings of this place, but one thing is for certain.

Wherever the Narrator tells them to go, whatever he tells them to do, they comply.

BATCH LIST:

- [1st Batch: The Inhabitants] - [2nd Batch: The Janitors] - [3rd Batch: The Citizens] - [4th Batch: The Guardians]

↓ [Chatter and Credits below] ↓

-----------⟡

The first illustration is posted! [Yay!] There will be more coming soon!

I've decided to pair these characters together due to a single uniting trait they all shared. Being residents of the Parable! [Either as an NPC or as something else.]

I admit that I went in with a lot of confidence, thinking I would finish this illustration in just a day or two, and I got HUMBLED. Starting June 16th [the day after everyone's characters got submitted] I spent five days just drawing this one illustration alone. [I draw fast, I usually only spend a few hours on one drawing before moving on, so this was a challenging experience.]

There were many factors contributing to why it took me so long. Such as drawing blindly [not preparing before trying to render and failing at it], not using references, lack of experience drawing buildings from scratch, etc. [Okay, now I just sound like I'm making excuses but wow that was really hard HAHAHA I almost got art-block as a result!]

My grievances aside, I'm happy with the result!

Mell by @katkit-drops-alt

Her dress and concept are absolutely lovely!! I like how, despite how terrifying she may come off, she's ultimately still a girl with her own normal life to live [or whatever it is that's normal to her anyway.] Her silly farm boyfriend is cute too!

[unnamed character] by @rick-ety

Ahh this girl!! I'm interested in her! [I love character designs that look 'ghostly' or dead.] Her pretty long hair reminds me a lot of Sadako [that one ghost girl with long black hair covering her face...] Her poor limbs missing and the twist of her not dying simply because she's already dead ahhh!!! o(〃＾▽＾〃)o

Helena by @neat-o-things

A silly girl who died in the Parable as she was about to make it out then ended up getting reincarnated as an NPC, making maps for the Parable, not knowing why she's doing it or where she even is!!! Only that she feels like she should :). I hold her dearly.

Anika by @hyydrochloricacidd

Uwwaahh we have sisters!! Anika is so unnervingly tall and creepy, I love that seemingly doll-like look on her face. It feels very uncanny! I can't wait to draw her sister Anala soon.

Root by @therootthatquestiond

AHH a drawing in Roblox!! (p≧w≦q) I love Roblox, you did a really great job!! We appreciate our quiet guy Root. Praise Root.

#tsp blank scripts au #blank scripts oc #blank scripts self insert #tsp au #tsp oc #the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #tsp #tspud #tsp narrator #narrator tsp #tsp mariella #mariella tsp #tsp artists appreciation #my drawing museum

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radioactiveparker · 9 months ago

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The Breakfast Club - Eddie Munson X F!Cheerleader!Reader

Part Two - Low Tolerance For Dehydration

Chapter Summary - We begin to learn the truth about why these kids are the way they are. (A retelling of The Breakfast Club, written and directed by John Hughes.)

Chapter Warnings - Characters are all 18+ / Strong Language / Illusions to Abuse/ Abusive Relationship / Dysfunctional Families / Kleptomania / References to Religious Beliefs / Sexual References / Drug References / Stereotyping / Angst

Word Count - 7.2k

(Series Masterlist) (Masterlist)

(Part One) (Part Two) (Part Three) (Part Four) (Part Five)

-----

Saturday.

October 25th, 1984.

Hawkins High Library.

10:30am.

~~~~~

After that rather thrilling event courtesy of Eddie Munson and Principal Higgins, the next two hours went on forever.

The grinding of gears, the hum of the electric motor, and the movement of the clock's hands invaded the silence. The second hand made a rapid clicking sound. You counted each one. At twenty-second intervals, the minute hand squeaked. The clock sounds became the percussion for a lullaby that almost lulled you to sleep.

Eddie remained seated next to you, spending the better part of an hour sulking that he had just wrecked the rest of his winter. The rest of the time, he spent scratching markings into the table with his car keys (which you immediately told him to stop out of annoyance. He ignored you, of course) and counting all the pictures he can see in the medullary rays of the wood. In his mind, he connected the lines and dots. Before his eyes, they formed the crude outline of a shapely woman with her legs rudely spread apart. He used the notebook paper to cover it up. He did not want to spend the next five and a half hours with a boner he couldn't get rid of. Especially one given to him by something as ridiculous as an imaginary table lady.

Steve was lazily picking off the fuzz of a tennis ball that he found in the lost and found box behind the front desk, piling it up in a small illuminous heap. The bald patches reminded him of principal Higgin's round, balding head. He picked at it harder, really digging his fingernails into the stringy felt like it had personally offended him.

Nancy was trying to write her paper. Normally, the undisturbed silence would be prime time to work on an essay, but she began staring off into space, her mind wondering. All she had managed to write was a title 'Who Am I?', her name, the date, and the time. Each time she would bring herself back to reality, she would check her watch, then erase the time and write the new one.

Robin was hunched over, hidden in her hair as she scribbled over her cherry red converse. She wrote whatever came to mind; her name, milk duds, a drawing of the top half of a naked woman, a copy of her fingerprint. She kept going until the red had almost disappeared.

You rested your head in your palms, eyes looking up as you counted the tiles on the ceiling. You got to thirty eight when Eddie nudged you. You opened your mouth to scold him for making you lose count, when he slid a sheet of paper over to you. He'd drawn a tic-tac-toe grid and placed an X in the centre square. You grabbed a pencil and drew a circle in the top right corner, deciding to keep him entertained before he starts causing more trouble. He smiled cutely when you slid the paper back to him.

The two of you played until both sides looked like a gingham tea towel. Much to your distaste, you lost 38 - 43. Eddie pulled tongues as the victor and you decided then to never play tic-tac-toe with Eddie again; you didn't want his head getting bigger than it already was.

The library door swung open and Principal Higgins stood with a scowling face.

"All right. Who has to go to the rest room?"

All hands shot up.

Higgins gave a single nod, signalling that everyone could get out of their seats. You groaned in relief when your spine cracked, though you still had pins and needles in your left foot and your butt was numb from sitting on it for too long. The Principal lead you all down the hall to the restrooms, where he unlocked them with a jingling of keys.

"Two minutes for the boys. Three minutes for the girls." He stared at his watch like he was already starting the count down.

"How come they get an extra minute?" Eddie complained, pointing at the group of girl who all had their arms crossed, looking at him like the answer was obvious.

"Try and remember your biology, Munson." Principal Higgins rolled his eyes, still staring at his watch.

"Oh, right. Does that mean Harrington gets another minute?"

Annoyed, Steve pushed through into the bathroom. Eddie followed behind, laughing manically.

The two of them rarely used the schools restroom, even for Eddie who was kind of a slob, they were too disgusting. Students only ever really used them to hide when skipping classes. The walls were covered in graffiti and a few of the tiles were cracked, and there was always something on the floor that made the bottom of their shoes sticky. They didn't even want to try to guess what it was. Steve stood in front of the urinal and unzipped his jeans. Eddie hopped onto the countertop and fished through his hair to retrieve the cigarette from behind his ear.

"You want one?"

Steve took a peek behind him. "Oh yeah, ten of 'em please. I need to prove I'm a man."

"Whatever man." That was the last time Eddie would offer Steve anything ever again.

He fumbled in his pocket, took out a lighter and lit his cigarette.

Meanwhile, the state of the girls bathroom wasn't much better. The floors were less sticky, but there was always tissue all over the place, and a funny smell in the air.

"Is this a drag, or what?" You looked at your tired eyes in the reflection and started complaining about them to the girls.

Nancy rummaged through her purse, pulling out perfume bottles, make-up, compacts, brushes; an incredible amount of things that she probably didn't need. Nancy very helpfully let you borrow the make-up out of her bag. You were looking as good as new in no time.

"You want one?" Robin pulled out a pack of spearmint gum and stuck one in her mouth.

You looked at her repulsed. "Robin, you can't eat in the bathroom. What if you get VD of the mouth or something!"

She paused like she hadn't thought about that. She quickly walked to the sink and washed her hands. She grabbed a paper towel to dry them and then used it to open the door. She held the door open with her foot, wadded up the paper towel and made a three pointer into the waste bin. A shot that even Steve would find impressive, even if she did surprise herself making it in the first place. She didn't show that though.

"You're into washing your hands, but you eat inches away from a live toilet?"

She gave you an offended glare her, and left the bathroom, letting the door close on you and Nancy. You turned to Nancy and gave her a look that said 'I'm not crazy for thinking that am I?'.

"I mean that was a little disgusting, but you could have worded it a bit nicer."

She walked out, leaving you wondering whose side she was on.

"I didn't mean to upset you." You called after Robin. "I was just reacting to something I thought was seriously weird. I mean, I'll listen if you needed some one to talk to about it."

Robin didn't give you the time of day, just rolled her eyes to herself. She didn't appreciate the way you worded your apology; like she was the one with the problem.

"Let's go. Shake it off!" Higgins called into the boys bathroom.

Even with the extra minute you were given, the girls still managed to be done before the boys. Eddie opened the door, smelling strongly of tobacco.

"Where's Harrington?"

"Drowned." Eddie said bluntly.

The Principal crossed to the door and peaked his head in. "Alright, Harrington, c'mon. Lets go!"

Steve made a few final adjustments to his hair, raking his fingers through it to position his chestnut curls perfectly on his head. Principal Higgins dragged him out before he could finish.

~~~~~

11:30am

~~~~~

You laid across three chairs as some sort of make shift bed and tucked your coat underneath your head for a pillow. You had planned to take a nap, but Nancy had decided to sharpen her pencil. The winding and grinding of the sharpener grated your ears. She knew she was making a lot of noise, but she couldn't seem to get a good point on her pencil. She took it out of the sharpener, blew the dust from the tip, and examined it before shoving it back in. She had three quarters left of her pencil.

Steve had a straight leg on the front table and reached over to touch his toes, stretching his hamstring. How he did it in those jeans was beyond you. His little grunts of effort and heavy breaths as he switched legs annoyed you almost as much as Nancy's sharpening. Robin was in her same seat, picking at her black, chipped nails in her lap and chewing her gum loudly out of spite. How you had gone from sitting in hours of silence, to a sudden ruckus when you wanted to sleep was just your luck.

Eddie had chosen to sit in front of you on the table, ripping out pages of textbooks from the history section.

Nancy winced at each tear. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing, Princess? I'm vandalising public property." He said it like it was obvious, loudly ripping another page to emphasise his point. "You get off on being stupid, or something?"

"You're such a waste."

Eddie placed the book gently on the table, giving it a few taps for good measure. He sat up straight, hands on his knees like a teachers pet. He nodded sarcastically in agreement. "You're absolutely right. It's wrong to destroy literature. It's such fun."

He jumped down off the desk, kicking up loose pages as he stalked over to his next victim: the card files. He pulls out the entire draw completely and lugged it back over to his spot on the desk. The unexpected slam of it on the table startled you, and you sat up with a huff. There was no way you were getting sleep any time soon.

Nancy scoffed as he began yanking the catalogue cards out and putting them back in a random order, creating a horrible mess for someone to sort out later. She continued to grind the sharpener.

"Big deal." You mocked her, she and the sharpener were really starting to get on your nerves. "It's not like there's anything better to do."

Eddie was impressed. He turned to you. "You grounded tonight?"

His question threw you off, but you knew there was definitely more to it. "No, why?"

He looked surprised that you weren't, but he didn't know that your parents weren't even aware you were here in the first place. "Reefer Rick is throwing a Halloween party down by Lover's Lake tonight. Wanna come?"

Apparently, all it took was a few games of tic-tac-toe to get into Eddie's good books. There was a part of you that wanted to go. It was another excuse to get away from your parents, but you didn't want to imagine the shit you would get from Carol if she found out you had gone to a party with Eddie 'The Freak' Munson. Then Billy crept back into your mind. Your blood went cold at the thought. You knew he wasn't here, but you expected him to come charging through the doors any second now. You had to make sure he knew you weren't interested in Eddie. You didn't want another repeat of this morning.

"Why would I want to go to that crackhead's place? I'll probably catch a disease."

Eddie looked a little disappointed and a little offended that you had insulted his friend, but he hid it well. So why did you feel kind of bad?

You looked up at him with big eyes. "I mean, my mom doesn't like me going to parties anyway."

"What about your dad?"

"If I do what my mom doesn't want me to it's because my dad says it's okay. And if I do what my dad doesn't want me to it's because my mom says it's okay. It's like this whole big monster deal. It lasts forever and it's a total drag. It's like any minute: divorce." You hated talking about your parents, but I felt good to get off your chest. Carol and Tommy never cared to ask.

"Who do you like better?"

"Huh?"

"You like your old man better than your mom?"

"They're both screwed." You sighed. You didn't like where this conversation was headed anymore. Nancy had stopped sharpening her pencil and you could feel everyone listening in.

"If you had to pick?"

"I don't know. I mean, they must have loved each other at some point, but I guess I wasn't around for that part. So I don't think any of them really care about me either. They just use me as ammunition in their little wars."

"HA!" Your response had provoked a laugh from Robin. A laugh that let you know she thought you deserved it. She was more offended by that comment in the bathroom than you had thought.

"You're just feeling sorry for yourself." Steve added, shaking out his legs.

You didn't find it very fair that they were ganging up on you all of a sudden. "If I didn't, nobody else would."

"Oh, you're breaking my heart." But Steve didn't sound sincere at all. You weren't enjoying this side of Steve one bit. And it was all because of Billy.

"Do you get along with your parents?" Eddie sided with you.

"If I say, yes, I'm a real idiot, right?"

"I think you're an idiot anyway. But if you say you get along with your parents, you'll be a liar, too."

"You know something, I've just about had it with you. If we weren't in school, man, I'd wail all over you. They'd have to pick you up with tweezers."

Eddie didn't seem fazed. Eddie got threats like this all the time, it wasn't anything he hadn't already heard before.

"I don't really get along with my parents." Nancy piped up, trying to get the boys attention away from each other so there wasn't a brawl in the middle of the library.

"Yeah right, you're every parent's wet dream."

"That's the problem." She paused, you saw her eyes glaze over then looked at you. "I don't think my parents ever loved each other either."

Everyone was silent, looking at her like they were waiting for her to burst into tears. She regretted bring it up.

"They must have married for some reason?" Steve asked. Whether it was because he was being nosey, or he was concerned for her, you couldn't tell.

"My mom was younger. My dad was older, but he had a cushy job, money, came from a good family. So they bought a nice house at the end of the cul-de-sac and started their nuclear family."

"Screw that."

"Yeah, screw that."

"I could see you not liking them for making you wear those kind of clothes, but, shit, what else would you be doing if you weren't busy making yourself a better citizen?" Eddie clearly hadn't read the room.

"Why do you have to insult everybody?" Eddie was really pushing Steve's limits. You noticed it happened especially when it came to Nancy.

"I'm being honest, asshole. I'd expect you to know the difference." He said it like he had had a similar argument with Steve in the past.

Nancy raised her middle finger at him.

"Whoa, obscene gestures from such a pristine girl."

"I'm not that pristine." Nancy argued, though she regretted it almost immediately.

She cleared her throat and make her way back to her seat.

"Are you a virgin?" She caught Steve's eye, they shared a look, but Eddie missed it. "I'll bet you a million dollars that you are."

"Would you take that bet, Robin?"

"Not really."

"That's the last time I call you 'Robin', Buckley."

He continued. "Have you ever been felt up? Over the bra, under the blouse, shoes off...hoping to God your parents don't walk in?"

Nancy was getting upset. "Do you want me to puke?"

"Over the panties, no bra, blouse unbuttoned, Calvin's in a ball on the front seat past eleven on a school night?"

You squeezed your thighs together. His voice was deep and masculine, sending you off into an alluring day dream. You found yourself in the back seat of a car, a strong man towering over you, rough hands caressing your soft skin. He takes off your bra, exposing your breasts to the cold air of the night, nipples hardening. He's groping them, kissing them, loving on them. Your moaning and he's trailing his lips lower. Your hands thread themselves in his brown, wavy hair. He's pulling your panties down with his teeth, looking up at you with those big brown eyes of his. And suddenly you were in the back of his van, pulling off his patched, demin jacket until he's leaning over you completely naked. He put his lips to your ear, whispering --

"Hey, why don't you leave her alone!" Steve breaks you out of your imagination.

"You gonna make me?"

"Yeah."

"You and whose army?"

"Just me and five of my fingers. I hit you. You hitting floor. Anytime you're ready."

Eddie realised that Steve was being serious, but doesn't believe he is quite capable of making good on his threat.

"Yeah? You want a black eye to go with that split lip? You couldn't fight Billy Hargrove, what makes you think you can beat me?"

Your chest tightened at his name and your eyes darted to the door. They stayed shut. It calmed you a little, but your heart was still beating against your ribcage. You placed a hand there in case it burst out. You wondered how Eddie knew about the fight at the party, you hadn't seen him there. But then again, word travels fast around Hawkins High. Your breathing became heavy. All this arguing was making you dizzy. You could do without a repeat of last Thursday.

"Try me."

"Eddie." You pleaded him not to retaliate, swallowing down your pride for a second of peace.

He looked at you, and suddenly Eddie was not in the mood to fight Steve. The fear in your eyes scared him a little. You were serious about them not fighting. But luckily for you, Eddie knew when to stop. Besides, there were ladies present, and he was a gentleman.

To some extent.

"Whatever man, I'm not getting into this with you."

"Why not?"

"Why not?" He paused. He wasn't going to tell Steve he did it for you. "'Cause I'd kill you. It's real simple, you'd die and your fucking parents would sue me and It'd be a big mess and I don't care enough about you to bother. So drop it."

"Chicken."

"You know, you should see a doctor. I think those steroids are frying your brain."

Steve just laughed him off, believing that he had scared Eddie into yielding and he was just giving one last dig to preserve his pride. Eddie looked a Nancy, but she was already staring at him.

"What is it that makes you act like such a fool?"

"I'm not getting enough vitamin B."

Steve fumed. He wanted his fist to connect with that smartass mouth of his. "Let's end this right now. You don't talk to her...you don't look at her and you don't even think about her! You understand me?"

"I'm trying to help her." He said it like it was as plain as a pikestaff.

"Help me?" Nancy was insulted. "Why don't you work on yourself?"

"I did. I finished last Tuesday. Now I'm working on the rest of the world." He pointed at Steve, who looked about ready to swing. "I could help you, big boy."

"Spare me."

"I can help a lot of people, all they have to do is ask nicely."

"I'll kill you." Steve threatened with a clenched fist.

Eddie looked unmoved. He heard threats like that at least five times a day. "Well, I should just let you and everyone else who wants to kill me fight for the privilege."

There was a rumbling from beyond the library door. In a flurry of panic, everyone got themselves into position, acting like they hadn't moved an inch away from their seats. Eddie sat next to you again, accidently kicking your foot under the table. You kicked it back in annoyance. He did it again, only on purpose this time. 'What a child' you thought. You put your coat on the back of your chair and sat up straight, expecting Principal Higgins to come storming in.

Everybody visibly relaxed when Carl, the janitor, came rumbling in with his music playing quietly from his radio, dragging his cart behind him. He had a face you didn't quite know how to take; he looked friendly enough, but could turn at the snap of your fingers. He was skinny and stood at a height of 5"8, with a limp of a man who worked hard for his living. He smiled everyone, but the only one who seems the acknowledge him was Robin. She returned the smile and gave him a small wave, in hopes of being nice but not letting the others see. He went into the librarians office and grabbed the waste basket.

"Hey Sweetheart, your dad's here."

You gave him an unamused smile and kicked his shin under the desk once more.

Carl came out of the office and dumped the basket on his cart. He left his cart in the main library and walked down the pathway to grab another trash bin at the back of the room.

"Hey, Carl?"

Carl paused in surprise that any student here, with the exception of Robin, would talk to him. He turned around, but Eddie still remained facing the front, putting his back to him.

"How does one become a janitor."

Everyone supressed a giggle, even Steve despite his dislike for Eddie. Only Robin remained silent. She didn't find it very funny.

"You want to become a janitor?" Carl raised an eyebrow.

"No I just wanna know how one becomes a janitor because Steve here, is very interested in perusing a career in the custodial arts."

Steve stopped laughing at that. Carl scratched his head. He knew that they were making fun of him. But Carl wasn't one someone should mess with. He turned off his radio, pulled off his rubber gloves and shoved them in his back pocket.

"You guys think I'm just a lowly janitor. Some fucking untouchable peasant. Maybe so, but following a broom around after shitheads like you for five years, I've learned a few things. I read your notes, I go through your letters. I listen to your conversations. I am the eyes and ears of this institution. I know where you are now and I know where you'll be in the future."

Everyone exchanged worried looks as Carl moved to tower in front of Eddie. "You got ten years, max. Drugs. Rundown trailer in West Texas. Whore wife takes the baby, you shoot a fatal dose. Probable? Maybe not. Possible? Think so."

He turned to you. "You get married to a guy with lots of material success. Corporate position. Big bucks. Black Jag. You have three kids, nobody gives a shit. You get divorced and have a big fuckin' heart attack at thirty-eight, thirty-nine."

Steve was next. "District sales manager for a golf club manufacturer. Shitty little compact company car, twenty-two five a year and a wife as big as a boxcar."

Finally, Nancy. "Six face-lifts and two boob jobs by forty and a husband with more girlfriends than anniversaries."

He stepped back and put on his gloves. The stunned reaction on everybody's faces made him smile. "But I'm just a janitor." He shrugged.

And with that, he grabbed his cart, wheeled it around and headed out. He paused at the door and looked at the clock.

"By the way, that thing's twenty minutes slow." He winked as he left and everybody groaned.

~~~~~

12:30pm

~~~~~

Everybody was bored out of their skulls after the shock of Carl's speech had worn off. You took the time to think about what he had said. He had tried to put a downer on you, but the life he had predicted for you sounded like paradise, compared to now. Even if you did only have twenty years left to live. As crazy as it sounded, it gave you a bit of hope. There was a chance that you could work up the courage to leave Billy and meet someone nice, or at least wealthy. You had never given any thought about having kids, especially not with Billy, but now, maybe you could see yourself with a kid. You'd want a boy, and he'd look just like his father; Curly brown hair, big russet eyes, and a toothy smile. What would you name him? Would you name him after his father? Maybe Michael, or Christopher, James. Edward? You liked that name.

Your eyes flashed to the door as it opened. Principal Higgins strolled in with a frown of his face, even though no one had done anything to upset him yet.

Yet.

"Thirty minutes for lunch." He declared.

"Excuse me Sir, I think the cafeteria would be a more suitable place to eat lunch."

"I don't care what you think, Harrington."

Steve sunk back into his seat.

"Uh, Dick?" Eddie cleared his throat. "Sorry, Richard. Will milk be made available to us? Someone like Steve could choke to death on a dry sandwich."

"I have a low tolerance for dehydration, Sir." Robin added.

"I've seen her dehydrated, Sir." Steve sat up again. "It's pretty gross."

You wondered if that was true, or if he was just playing along. The things he said about her, you wondered if they knew each other. Probably not, you brushed off the thought. They were on complete opposite ends of the spectrum, there was no way they knew each other.

Principal Higgins scowled.

Eddie stood and raised his hands like he was trying to calm a wild animal. "Relax, I'll get it."

"Ah,ah,ah. Grab some wood there, Munson. You think I was born yesterday? You don't fool me for one minute. I'm not having you roaming these halls."

Eddie plopped back into his seat with a defeated sigh. It was worth a shot.

"You." He pointed at Steve.

He eyed up the other students, skipping over Eddie as he decided who else was most suitable to leave. You sank into your seat. You did not fancy having some alone time with Steve. Steve stared directly at the Principal before darting his eyes to the right where Nancy was sat, signalling for him to pick her. She sat up to make herself more evident.

Higgins ignored them and pointed a finger at you. "And you. There's a soft drinks machine in the faculty lunch room."

You broke into a cold sweat. This was going to be the most awkward ten minutes of your life. Either Steve was just going to pretend you didn't exist, or he was going to absolutely grill you. You hoped for the former.

As you reluctantly got out of your seat, Steve held out a hand to the others for money. Nancy took out a change purse from her bag and handed him fifty cents. Robin does the same with the loose change in her jeans pocket. Eddie fished through his coat pockets. He found some assorted change, crumpled gum wrappers, some loose tobacco and a screw. He handed it all to Steve.

Steve made his way out, not even looking to see if you're following him. You do, of course, but you lagged behind him, not feeling particularly comfortable being alone with him. You counted your steps as you walked, fiddling with the delicate chain around your neck. It was a simple design: just your name written with gold, cursive lettering. But it was the only jewellery you never took off. Your parents had bought it for you when you had started cheerleading at eight years old. It was a reminder of when life was much more simple, when you believed that your parents actually loved each other, that they loved you.

A minute passed and you already couldn't stand the silence. You dreaded it, but you knew this would probably be the only opportunity you would get to hash out your grievances.

"Why do you hate me?" A forward start, but at least it's a start.

"You know why."

"Look, what Billy did wasn't my fault --"

"Of course it is. If you hadn't been there in the first place he wouldn't've showed up."

"Hey, I didn't even tell him I was going to that stupid party. He was there anyway. If you hadn't come over and butted into our argument, maybe you wouldn't have that split lip."

"My parties aren't stupid."

"Is that seriously all you took from that?"

"No..." He paused. After hearing your side of the story, he was beginning to feel like a fool. "What were you guys even arguing about?"

You sighed. "Billy and I had plans to go to this drive in movie theatre. I don't think he wanted to watch a movie though, I think he was just hoping to get lucky." The two of you had stopped walking. Steve looked at you intently, encouraging you to carry on. You shifted on your feet. "If I'm being completely honest I didn't really want to go, but then Carol asked me to go to your party and I took it as an excuse not to go with Billy. I knew he would be angry if I cancelled our plans last minute, so I told him I was sick. Biggest fucking mistake of my life."

"So you went to the party and Billy caught you out in your lie."

"Yeah. Turns out one of his friends had asked him to go but he'd declined 'cause we were going on a date. He accepted the offer once I'd cancelled our plans."

Steve started walking again. You followed next to him this time. "I know Billy is a bit of a shitbag, but why didn't you want to go on your date? I mean, it seemed like a good time."

There was no such thing as a 'good time' with Billy. He had his moments, sure, but he was as cranky as a wet hen. Time with him was like trying to swim with rocks on your back. He sucked all the fun out of everything until you started drowning. You didn't tell Steve that though.

"I just wasn't in the mood to be around him, is all." You brushed him off. "But he's bringing it up all the time, and were arguing all of the time. Even in school."

"Is that why you're here today?"

His question made you pause. He stopped a couple of steps ahead of you and turned around when he saw you weren't next to him anymore. You played it off like you were itching your leg and jogged up to him. The two of you made it to the teacher's lounge.

The first thing you noticed was that it was very brown. The floor and ceiling had the same white speckled tile that ran throughout the entire school, but everything else was just ... brown. Brown wallpaper, brown leather sofas, brown table, brown countertop. Even the fridge was brown. The vending machine was in the far corner.

"Why are you here?" You asked Steve, hoping he hadn't realised that you hadn't answered his question.

"Me? I'm here because my father and my coach don't want me to blow my ride." He started feeding the change into the machine. "They think my intensity's for shit. You see, I have a different set of standards. I get treated different because Coach thinks I'm a star. So does my old man. But you know what? I don't care. I'm not a star because I want to be a star, I'm a star because I got good legs and reflexes. I'm like a racehorse. That's about how involved I am in what's happening to me."

You nodded, but you had a suspicion that that wasn't the whole truth. "Yeah, so why are you really here?"

Steve was annoyed that he hadn't managed to persuade you. "Forget it."

You studied the set of lockers on the other side of the room. You walked over to them out of curiosity, trying your luck with one of the doors. To your surprise it opened.

Steve caught you out of the corner of his eye. "You really shouldn't be doing that."

Inside lay a set of keys attached to a green Hawkins High lanyard, a pack of cigarettes, a 'thank you teacher' mug, and a Prince's Purple Rain album on vinyl. Steve came up behind you, looking inside and letting the soda cans thunk loudly at the bottom of the vending machine.

"This is a teacher's stuff?" He asked surprised.

"Yeah. Does this mean that they're actually human?" You laughed together for the first time.

Daringly, you pocketed the pack of cigarettes in your cardigan pocket and took the record.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, put them back."

"C'mon Steve, when are you ever going into the teacher's lounge again? Besides, it'll give us something to do while were stuck in that god damned library."

You shut the locker door and brushed past him. You gathered up the soda cans, giving Steve his share to carry and made your way back to the library.

"It was pretty strange looking at teacher's personal shit, huh?" You said, examining the purple record sleeve.

Steve shrugged, he'd seen stranger things. "I went over to Coach's house for dinner once during the summer. It was really weird to see how he lives."

He paused, anticipating a question, but you just looked at him to carry on.

"His wife was fat. And one of his kids was in a wheelchair. It was kinda sad. He was a nice kid."

"If he invites you over to his house, why does he shit on you?"

"He and my old man are working to get me a scholarship. It's not an economic issue. Scholarships make the newspaper. They think I have a shot at a full ride. They think I deserve a Big Ten school."

You simply nodded and walked through the library doors. The others were gathered in the corner by the comfy chairs. Eddie was holding a book opened to a page displaying a man with elephantitus to the nuts like he was reading children a bedtime story.

"How do you suppose he rides a bike?"

The clattering of soda cans on the table drew their attention away. They all walked over to grab a can. Before the others could take one, Eddie reached out and shook one furiously.

You look at him like he was crazy. Perhaps he was. "That's going to spray all over you."

"Not necessarily."

He put the drink back with the others and moved the cans around so than no one would know which was was shook up.

"You're such a dingus." Robin bravely took a can first.

Everyone else followed before taking their seats and pulling out their lunches. You simply took out an apple, loosing your appetite after seeing a man with elephantitus to the nuts. You noticed Eddie didn't have any lunch as he surveyed everyone else's.

"Where's your lunch?"

"You're wearing it." He winked.

You curled your lip in disgust, but felt about as red as your apple.

"You're nauseating." Nancy complained, opening her lunch.

"Look who's talking. You don't care what you put in your mouth." He eyed Nancy's lunch like she had just shown him a plate full of snails. "What is that?"

"Sushi."

"Sushi?"

"Rice, raw fish, and seaweed."

"You wont accept a guys tongue in your mouth, but you'll eat that?"

She scoffed impatiently. "Can I eat?"

"I don't know, give it a try."

The room went silent as everybody watched Steve pull out his lunch from a large brown grocery bag; three sandwiches, a family-sized bag of chips, an apple, a banana, a bag of cookies and a carton of milk.

"Are you really going to eat all that?" Robin asked in shock.

"No, I'm only going to eat half."

"What are you going to do with the other half?"

"Shoving it up Eddie's ass."

How charming. He reached for his can and everybody shrunk away, thinking it might explode. He cracked the tab.

Nothing happened.

Robin took out a sandwich covered in saran wrap. She unwrapped it and pulled the bread apart, starting to work on it like a mad scientist. She tossed the meat away, blindly whipping it to the side. It slapped on the wall and stuck there. She reached into her sweater pocket and pulled out a bag of chocolate M&M's. She tore the bag open and dumped all of it on the buttered bread. Out of her coat pocket she pulled out a little baggie filled with Captain crunch cereal and sprinkled it over the M&M's. She closed the mess of a sandwich and took a huge bite. She noticed that everyone was watching her.

"You are bizarre." Eddie thought Steve's lunch was bad.

She reached for her Pepsi to wash it all down. She put it to her mouth and popped it. The soda sprayed cleanly into her mouth.

After the fizz was gone, she smirked at Eddie. "Nice try, dingus."

"What do you have?" He turned to you, watching take a bite into your apple.

You handed your bag over to him, rather than speaking with a full mouth. He started pulling things out. He pulled out a sandwich, a thermos of soup, which he opened and give a big whiff, and a bottle of water.

"Well Sweetheart, this is a very nutritious lunch. All the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rodgers?"

Eddie stood so he was front and centre of the room, all eyes on him.

"This is my impression of life at our darling Sweetheart's house." He gestured to you and your face flushed.

"Hello, dear. I'm home from the coalmine." Eddie impersonated your father.

Eddie quickly played your mother. "Oh, hello, sweetie pie. Dinner's almost ready. I'm serving stuffing instead of potatoes."

"My favourite!"

His voice turned high and shrill, playing you. "Hi, Dad! Yippee, you're home! I danced in a skimpy skirt in front of hundreds of people today. I went to church and I wrote Grandma a letter. Now can I have a pen pal?"

"Dear, isn't our daughter swell?"

Quiet and motherly. "Yes Dear, isn't life swell?"

Eddie mimed your mother kissing your father, then father kissing mother, and then your father punching your mother in the face. Suddenly it was not so funny anymore.

Your eyes were wet. You hated how much that hurt. It wasn't his words that hurt you, it was how much you wished it were true.

You bravely stood up. "No, it's more like --"

"Dad? Is it okay if I shoot heroin?"

You lowered your voice, playing your father. You held an imaginary newspaper in your hands, not taking your eyes off it and pretending that you weren't paying attention. "If it'll make you happy, pumpkin."

You extended your fingers and blew on them, doing your mother and her fresh nail polish. "What are you talking about, Frank?! How's she going to wear her Sunday dress with holes in her arms? We are going to church aren't we?

"It's okay. Never mind. I won't be a junkie." You said sadly.

"Now, just wait a minute. If you want to be a junkie--"

"I'm not going to be the only woman at the congregation with a junkie daughter. Now what about church?" Your mother said.

"Go by yourself!" Said your father.

"With pleasure! I'm taking Y/N."

"Over my dead body!"

"I love her more than you do!"

"Go to hell!"

Everyone looks at you with a hint of sympathy. Even Eddie.

"Do you wish they'd get a divorce?" He asked.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I'd have to live with one or the other. And I don't know which one is worse." You laughed, but there was no humour behind it.

"Whose next?" Eddie ask, like he didn't already know he was going to single out Steve. Eddie pointed at him. "You're next."

"Yeah, no thanks."

"You an orphan?"

"I don't need to dump on my parents. Especially when they're not here to defend themselves." Eddie gave him a look like he was being chicken.

"What about your family?" Steve asked Eddie. He wanted him to have a taste of his own medicine.

"Mine? Real simple, pal."

He climbed onto the table, really setting the stage and getting himself into character. His eyelids lowered and his body moved clumsily, like he was drunk. "Stupid, worthless, no good, goddamn freeloading, son of a bitch, big mouth, know-it-all, asshole, jerk!"

He stands up straight, crossing his arms and raising the pitch of his voice. "You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful." His mother said.

"Shut up bitch!" He smacked the air, hitting his invisible mother. He yelled it so loud you were worried Higgins was about to storm through the door.

As his father, he threw a punch. Eddie dramatically dropped from the table and fell to the ground. He stood up, brushed himself off and took a bow. The show was over.

"Then they make me work to pay off the dentist for the teeth he busts."

"Is that for real?" Nancy looks like she's going to start crying for him.

"You wanna come over some time?"

She didn't want to believe that something like that could happen to anyone. Even someone as vexing as Eddie. Nancy decided then to never complain about her parents again.

"That's part of your image. I don't believe a word." Steve brushed him off. His re-enactment hadn't moved him at all.

You wondered if he was right. You had been so truthful about yours, you would feel ashamed if he had lied about his.

Eddie actually looked hurt. "You don't believe it, huh?"

He whipped off his red shirt and pulled up the sleeve of his black t-shirt. He shoved his arm in Steve's face, displaying a grotesque purple scar. Steve recoiled away from it, but Eddie forced him to look at it. You subtly tugged at the sleeve of your cardigan. You could feel the bruises of Billy's fingers purpling on your wrist.

"You believe that? It's about the size of a cigar." Eddie spoke through gritted teeth. "That's what you get in my house when you spill paint in the garage."

Eddie was breathless with anger. His muscles were tensed up so tightly he thought he was going to give himself a full-body cramp. He needed something to calm himself down. Luckily, he knew just the thing.

~~~~~

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~~~~~

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thephooka · 8 months ago

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Happy Webcomic Day! My webcomic White Noise is a labor of love--according to Procreate, this page took me 15.5 hours to complete.* Here's a look into that process!

Some other notes:

The thumbnails are done on graph paper and I script while I do them--there is no separate written script for White Noise. I usually spent a couple hours on weekends as needed thumbnailing, sometimes at a coffee shop or at home listening to records.

I then set up the file in Photoshop, so I can lay in the text and use the template I have with bleeds already set up. The text is rasterized and I shuttle the file over to my iPad via Airdrop.

The bulk of the actual work is done in Procreate, which records timelapses that I sometimes share to my Patreon. I usually spend a couple hours most nights after my day job or on the bus commuting doing this.

Once everything art-wise is done, I shuttle the file back over to my desktop to re-set in the text, add a stroke around the speech bubbles (Procreate doesn't have that took fsr) and do the resizing/exporting for web.

On Sunday mornings I get up, queue the page and write the page descriptions. I don't spend any time on the page descriptions outside of that.

Also, this process goes for the whole first arc of White Noise. I'm done with that arc (which means you can binge the whole thing I'm js!!) and am experimenting with some different methods these days, but my workflow is still generally the same.

*Some more talk about the labor (and burnout) involved below the cut:

This particular page (and most of the pages I did in 2023) took a lot longer than normal because I was heading into a burnout period that I'm still lowkey in/recovering from. It's obvious to me now in retrospect watching the timelapse here and seeing how much noodling I'm doing and how much I'm struggling with the process, but at the time I was just very frustrated generally. When I'm not burned tf out pages take maybe 10 hours max.

2023 was a pretty stressful year--lots of big life changes, uncertainty, pet death, health issues--so it's no wonder it propelled me into burnout, but it just goes to show that even the slowest and steadiest pace is not sustainable forever. I've been doing one page a week following this general process for over a decade! And I stuck to that pace because I knew it was one I could maintain. But even so, by the end of this arc I found myself working more and more slowly, not really looking forward to the work, feeling anxious about being behind, unhappy with the finished work, and extremely annoyed with myself for not being able to give it my all right there at the finish line.

I did stop for a while after the epilogue and took a more or less complete break from drawing for about a month--the longest I have EVER gone without drawing, much less working on White Noise--which did help, but these days my ability to work is...inconsistent. I should probably take another total break, but I'm reluctant. What if my passion never comes back? What if people forget about WN? It's already pretty obscure, and with the general social media collapse, it's harder than ever to get people to read my work. Now that I've left Hiveworks, WN doesn't even get the benefit of being linked to other comics (although objectively very, very few readers actually got referred to my comic that way.) And frankly, I'm also just too proud to go too long without comic updates. I've always told myself, I might not be the best artist or the fastest worker or make a popular comic, but I'm consistent. Difficult to let that go.

This is all to say that webcomics are hard. We do them because we love them, we have stories to tell, we are seized with the human compulsion to create. We spend hours of our time, almost always on top of the paying work that allows us to eat, to make something that we then give away for free. It has consequences on us that the reader doesn't often see, no matter how careful we are about it. If you ask me, webcomics deserve to be valued more.

Happy Webcomic Day! Read webcomics!

#webcomics #comics #webcomicday #webcomic day #web comix #indie comics #wn comic #white noise #behind the scenes #art process #comic making #sorry about the vertical video Tumblr would not just let me upload the video file into the post #Youtube

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ingravinoveritas · 11 months ago

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Heheh

Grouping these all together because a whole bunch of things happened today and there is a lot to talk about. For those who haven't seen, Georgia posted an Insta story of the sunset, which was followed by an extremely similar picture/Insta story from AL about an hour later. Shortly after that, Anna posted another story of Lyra and Birdie baking side by side, which Georgia also reshared:

Right off the bat, one thing in particular stood out about AL's story: Her using the hashtag #bakingwithsheenant, which differs from the tags she and Georgia normally use (#Sheenbergnants or something to that effect). It especially caught my attention because "Sheenant" is one of the ship names used in the fandom for Michael/David (though it is not a term I normally use). AL could have easily been referring to Lyra and Birdie in the photo, of course, but...of all the portmanteaus and hashtags AL could have chosen, she went with that one, and all I can say is that if it was nothing more than a fluke, then it was one hell of a fluke for her to make.

As if all this weren't enough, however, we then have what @phantomstars24 has mentioned, which is another story that Georgia shared just a little while ago:

To what was said in the Asks above, if this is true, it would absolutely mean that Michael and David are also neighbors, and that my head feels like it's slightly melting. Because there is no way in hell Michael bought a house in London next to David by accident. A meteorite has a better chance of hitting the Earth and bringing back the dinosaurs as our reptilian overlords than that does of being an accident.

Also if Michael and David are together as part of some poly arrangement, I can't think of a better way for them to ensure that they can see each other all the time. The number of possibilities are limitless: Random sleepovers, snuggling on the couch for movie date night, unwinding with a glass of red wine after they've had a long day doing their respective plays. Thinking as well of how we saw Michael and David looking at each other at opening night of Macbeth, now the chances of them going home together afterward have shot up by about a million, and I can hardly get my mind around it. I mean...dear God...

As for Georgia's "So linked!" sounding sarcastic, I could definitely see that as sarcasm. The sunset pictures from earlier seemed very planned, and even more so once we saw the baking picture. I saw some reactions from fans calling AL and Georgia "besties" once the Insta stories were posted, but I'm not exactly sure how those posts make them besties. The way Georgia posts about Anna is entirely different from how she posts about Jennie Fava, whom we know actually is one of Georgia's longtime best friends, so that difference makes it difficult for me to see why people see Georgia/AL in that light.

And if they are frequently getting together because of that proximity/because it is easier for Michael and David to have one house to themselves while AL, Georgia, and the kids are in another, I could see some degree of resentment existing on Georgia's end, especially if she feels like more of a babysitter than anything else. It's difficult to say for certain, of course, but we also have so many instances now of Anna copying Georgia on social media that I would imagine it has started to feel like a bit of a "me and my shadow" routine.

In any case, we have a lot of little pieces here that only give us a small glimpse at the whole, but boy, are they some very interesting pieces indeed. I think what strikes me most about all of this is that these stories also allude to Michael and David spending time together, yet we never actually see any pictures of them. (I have an Ask related to this waiting in my inbox, so I will expand more on that in a bit.) But we are being given room to think that, and to draw certain conclusions as a result, and I think both Georgia and AL know that and seemingly do not have a problem with it.

So yes, those are my thoughts on all the developments from today. Glad as always to hear from my followers and what your thoughts are on all this...

#unforgivablengk #phantomstars24 #reply post #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #georgia tennant #what even is happening here #it's like Michael got tired of ordering off DoorDash and moved next door so he can get a David snack anytime he wants #let me live please #'sheenant' though why #Michael is about as subtle as a drunken llama on roller skates #ineffable lovers #so many questions #i need to lie down #anna lundberg #discourse

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starrysharks · 9 months ago

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OK so I'm feeling some guilt I started to draw cartoony like you but I get frustrated because it does bot look perfect like yours it's mostly small stuff like colors and clothes I love making cartoony body's sometimes clothing but I have color picking because I'm still new to art that has colors is my feelings normal or is it wrong of me? And how do I pick colors because it frustrated me to no end and made me stop drawing for months anyway in short summary how do I color the right way like I guess I know skin tones but anything else goes wrong and the other summary is how do you draw clothing because I can't for the life of me get clothing right

don't worry - it's normal to get frustrated when drawing. i know i've literally quit and deleted entire illustrations in the past because i didn't like how the colors came out, and i can spend whole hours just choosing base colors TwT i think the important part about learning art is not to rush. i'm seriously flattered you see me as inspiration, but what worked best for me back when i heavily referenced other artists was "mixing" styles together to create a "new" one - so i'd recommend studying and copying multiple artists you like and trying to blend their styles into one if that makes sense! ^^

hating color picking is completely normal when you're first starting out, and even late into art like i said before - i've been making original digital art on ibispaint for about 5 years now, and it's still difficult. but it's easy to make it fun, and the best way to do that imo is to experiment! i'd recommend studying color theory on a larger scale, and understanding how certain colors might look completely different based on where you put them. or maybe make an illustration and color it in a bunch of alternative ways! also, having "bad" or "awful" color skills starting out is OK - i still think my colors suck sometimes even now lol.

anyway, the best way for me to color pick is to just use that color for whatever the OG artist used for their art. let's use alex ahad as an example because i find his art and color use super interesting -

i don't usually color pick, but when i do, i typically start with picking the eye color. then, based off of the eye color, i chose a base color based on the character's color pallete (easier of the eye color is already close to the main color of the character, which for clyde is turquoise).

then, i pick more colors directly from the reference, for stuff like skin. at this point i have a good idea of the colors i want to use and stop color picking from the ref, but there's no shame if you still feel you need to.

after that, based on the colors i picked, i'll color in the rest of the piece. i usually end up changing the colors that i did take from the reference due to experimenting - for me, i just use color picking as a sort of stepping stone for when i'm not sure how to color a piece the exact way i want.

eventually, you can learn to color pick by eye rather than with the picking tool in your art program, tho that takes a lot of knowledge on color theory.

really there is no "right" way to color, especially for skin imo - don't limit yourself to just peach, tan and brown. clyde's skin is bright white, but i still used a yellowy color here because it was relative to the other colors in the piece. i've also used "alien" tones for human-toned characters in the past before!

and about clothing folds - i can make a full post on that if anybody else is interested OuO

#ask zeno #zeno's art #ocs #ultimate x calibur #clyde blacktooth #long post

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emilinqa · 5 months ago

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hiiiiiii do you have any tips for drawing Kirk? 🙏 TvT William Shatner’s stupid face is getting every single one of my goats

to be honest i’m really not particularly confident in my ability to draw william shatners elusive face and i think he looks different every time i draw him so what i’m gonna say is less specific and more just about capturing the likeness of real people/characters or models based on a real person’s likeness

long answer under the cut but my short answer is if you’re drawing kirk and you can tell it doesnt looks right but dont know why make his forehead bigger. im serious it fixes the problem for me like 85% of the time LOL

this is perhaps just obvious advice but just having a reference collage for people/characters you draw often is really helpful. i find i often need detailed references for clothing/environment designs but the principle is the same for drawing a face. it helps to understand something from several angles, this is just a collage of references i use but if im being a hundred percent honest i almost always just skim the kirk daily or spirk daily accounts on twitter when im looking for a particular angle. LOL

also im prefacing this by saying this is not something i sat down and meticulously thought out i just draw a lot of fanart and subjects from observation. i do a lot of this on subconscious level and have just absorbed some things also from seeing what features other artists emphasize!

when you're stylizing a character, whether they are the likeness of an actor or a model or whatever it helps to just try to break down their defining features. this is easiest when you have another or several other characters to contrast against. bones and spock are the most obvious here, since the three of them are often in the same shot. for example, bones and spock are more angular than kirk, but spock looks lankier, while bones always looks a little haunched over. shatner doesn't have a very defined jawline (which is most obvious from a 3/4 or profile view) and his cheeks are fuller which shows the most when hes smiling. he has a pretty low brow too, and a wider forehead. from a profile view you can see the shadows that emphasize his sloped nose. the length of his hair fluctuates throughout the show, so i tend to just pick a partiuclar way of drawing it and stick to it lol. i like to draw the little curl that sits on his forehead and make the shorter sides slightly wavy

as far as movie era kirk goes, generally what is said before still rings true. again, it helps to have another person to compare too. as nimoy got older, his laugh lines deepened and his cheekbones hallowed slightly. again this contrasts a lot with shatner when they're next to each other because his face is fuller and i find the more defining wrinkles on his face are around his eyes and forehead. his hair is obviously a tighter curl, he often does still have one curl fall on his forehead.

other than that the biggest advice i can give is to practice... for every successful kirk i draw know that i fucked up at least three times before that.

a lot of this work in observing what features are defining on a face or what i want to emphasize is sort of intuitive to me, and sort of personal preference. its just how i do it, and you might find a process that works better for you. drawing a bunch directly from a reference and then stylizing from there is generally something i find is most helpful though

typing this all out is making me sound kind of crazy like i spend hours a day dissecting william shatners face but its kind of just the small quick decisions and comments everyone makes to themselves while drawing from observation i think... but now vocalized. which sounds a little insane all together like this. i promise im really normal i just drew him like 30 times over from various angles when i was making my tsfs comic. LOL

#my art #my trek

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wooahaes · 1 year ago

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sturdy leaves

pairing: non-idol!dino x gn!reader

genre: fluff + established relationship au. reader (+ seungkwan) is an elementary school teacher.

word count: 0.8k~

warnings: reader is referred to as 'pretty' once (due to the look on their face).

daisy's notes: m... men... being loving........ collapses onto ground.

Chan sat on the ground with you, sitting on a blanket because the cold autumn ground was awful to sit on, and realized just how much he loved you. When you’d turned down his offer to go out this morning because you had work to do… He’d merely offered to come keep you company. He had listened to the soft hum you let out, phone pressed warmly against his ear, and waited. He waved away Seungkwan before he could tease him for the sappy expression on his face, and made his way toward the kitchen.

“I’m collecting leaves for my kids arts and crafts projects this week,” you’d said after a moment. “It’s not exactly fun work. It’s kinda cold out, too—”

“I’ll do it!” He had said immediately, “I’ll come help you.”

Seungkwan had muttered something about how whipped Chan was for you. Chan merely ignored him this time. Normally, it’d make him bicker: at least I’m dating someone! which would be met with at least I get to see them every day, because Seungkwan never let Chan live without knowing that the two of you wouldn’t have met without him. But Chan disappeared into his room, immediately bundling up. You’d told him to come to the park to find leaves with you, and he was there as fast as he could.

He’d leaned against you a little, sorting through a pile of leaves you’d swept up together. Chan liked to watch how careful you were in picking out leaves for your elementary school students. He’d tried to be picky, too: nothing too small, or too limp, or too broken, or too… well, weak? The ones that were perfect for stepping on because they crumbled immediately with that beautiful crunch. They needed to be sturdy, and Chan had already broken a few while searching through.

“So… What are you doing with them?”

“Making little ghosts,” you hummed. “We’ll paint them white together and draw on little faces.”

It sounded cute. “Is that all?”

You dropped another golden leaf into your bag. “Seungkwan’s making the owls for our class, too. And I think we’re going to have them trace leaves, too, for this watercolor art thing.” You paused after a moment. “You could come by after school and see.”

He smiled a little to himself. “Really?”

“The kids are so creative, y’know,” you already had this fond, sweet smile on your face that Chan longed to kiss. There was always something so tender in your voice whenever you talked about your students. Sure, you had your complaints sometimes, but you (and Seungkwan: Chan saw that same spark in him, too) loved your job wholeheartedly. “I always like doing crafts with them,” you said. “We get to teach them about the seasons and leaves changing… and create some cute things for the classroom, too.”

Sometimes… Chan wished that he was the one teaching alongside you. But honestly, he was glad you and Seungkwan had each other to fall back onto. Chan liked being outside of that world, always right there to give you an escape from all of it. He’d helped you grade multiple choice tests and quizzes before, always happy to press a sticker onto them whenever applicable. Hell, he liked buying you more stickers to use on your students’ work. There was something so endearing about how happy you’d get, always thrilled to see that he’d been thinking about you. But he was glad to exist outside of the world itself, happy to talk to you about whatever project was going on at his own work—you’d always said you liked hearing about other adult problems after spending so many hours with kids and your fellow teachers.

“I’d love to,” Chan said after a moment. “I like seeing what the kids make.”

“You don’t have to lie,” you teased. “You like seeing me.”

He chuckled, “I love seeing you. I like seeing the craft-things. There’s a difference.”

You leaned in to steal a quick kiss. “I know,” you hummed. “I just like to hear you say it.”

Only for you to pull away from him the moment you heard a kid’s voice yell out in recognition, one of your students having spotted you while out with her dad. She’s already taken off running toward you, and you rose to greet her. The man immediately grew flustered as he scooped her into his arms, promptly apologizing to you—she was excitable, and there was something else about how you were one of her favorite teachers ever.

Chan just smiled to himself as he watched you crouch down a little, talking politely to your student while showing her one of the leaves you’d collected. “Isn’t it pretty?”Yeah. That kind look on your face was pretty. And Chan would sneak a picture of it whenever he could, just so he could commit it entirely to memory.

taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune @staranghae @weird-bookworm

#wooahaes.fic #seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x reader #svt imagine #svt x you #svt fluff #seventeen fluff #dino x you #dino x reader #dino fluff #dino imagines #lee chan x reader #lee chan x you #lee chan fluff #lee chan imagines #wooahaes.fall23

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catsharky · 1 year ago

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I've just discovered your Rolan x Tav comic.

It's SO neat and accurate, in matter of deign and details!

In case you don't mind, of course, I have some questions you maybe have answered before:

What software do you work with? What kind of pencils do you use? How do you manage to set so neat and clean results? Do you need many references for that or is just a gift you have? How many years have you been drawing to achieve those results?

I don't mind at all! And I don't believe I've answered any of these questions before, at least not since I started doing my comics.

For software I mainly use Clip Studio, though I do also use PaintTool Sai (v2) for certain things that I feel it does better. All of my Mass Effect comics are lined in Sai, for example because things like armour have a lot more inorganic shapes and require long, sweeping, unbroken lines, and I like the pen stabilization in Sai far better than CSP's for that sort of thing.

For how long I've been doing art, I've been at it basically nonstop since I was 9 (so 20 years now, jeez). I was in an art program throughout highschool, went to college for art/animation for 4 years, and I'll have been working professionally as an animator for 8 years in May! So there's a lot of practice there for sure.

And yeah, I use a ton of references. Usually a good chunk of the time I'll spend on something is just collecting or making the reference material I need for it.

I'm putting the rest under a read more because it's pretty long:

(Tumblr keeps eating my formatting so sorry if this is a little scuffed)

Because I'm normally working full time and doing this stuff in my free time after hours and on weekends, if I know I'm going to be drawing something a *lot*, I'll usually put together some kind of reference for myself in 3D so I can take some of the brainwork out of it and get more out of my evenings even when I'm feeling fried. It also means I put as little extra strain on my wrist as possible because I injured it a number of years back and it gets angry at me if I go for too many hours in a day.

But to give you an example, for Ember I have a Sculpt of her head that I can use to reference any angle I want, or to draw directly over top of for tricky angles. How I draw her isn't quite 1:1 to the model, but it gives me a base structure and landmarks I can build on top of.

My basic workflow is to take the angle I want, draw over it using the model as a guide (while picking and choosing where to stay true to it and where to say fuck it and do what I want), then I get rid of the 3D and do another pass, tweaking and redrawing anything I'm not totally happy until I'm satisfied with how it looks. I draw Ember with a slightly softer, more rounded face than the model has, for instance. Just because something looks right in 3D doesn't always mean it looks right once translated to 2D and I don't care if something is technically "correct" if it doesn't feel right or isn't conveying what I want it to properly.

I'm also always checking reference screenshots to make sure I'm in the right ballpark of how something should look. I actually have a wall of photos next to my desk and while I didn't put them up for that purpose, it has come in surprisingly handy for quickly checking face or hair details when needed. I also just have a big folder of screenshots and other saved reference material.

I don't have a problem noooo~ 😅

Additionally, if my art has a background these days, there is a 100% chance that's a 3D set I built in Blender because I hate drawing backgrounds, but I do like building them in 3D.

Here's two examples: the area around Astarion's bed, which I built out of some of the in-game assets like a lego set (this was a pain in the ass, it probably would have been faster to just build it from scratch based on screenshots 😩) and a closet I modelled for something that's still a WIP.

I'll get the angle I want, have Blender generate some linework from it and then grab a basic render of it to slap into CSP so I can draw the characters over top of it.

And as for brushes: the main brush I use in CSP is just the default 'Real G-Pen', with opacity effects turned off and these pressure settings: (I like to keep it simple, and I have a bit of a heavy hand so the altered pen pressure just helps me get a smoother taper). I change up the stabilizer settings depending on what I'm doing. Lower for things that need short, quick lines like hair and higher for most other things.

For Sai, I use a 9B pencil I found a number of years ago on Deviantart (I think?) and I wish I could link you to the original post I got the settings from, but Deviantart's search is... bad and I'm unable to find it again.

I hope that answered all your questions! If not, feel free to ask more!

#not sharky art #jlbilu #sharky speaks #process talk

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prismatica-the-strange · 8 months ago

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If It Hurts You Bad, Put It On My Tab, I Can Pay It Back Ten Fold | Death By Anyone's Hand but His Would Never Taste as Sweet

Warnings: 18+, fluff, angst, jealousy, hurt/comfort, no smut but hints of a sexual relationship, slightly inappropriate use of the force

Another one that took on a life of its own. I reference lore I haven't talked about yet ie. Jeintians have purple blood because I said so

Word count: 4.4k

Only Place I Call Home by Every Avenue | Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Freida groans when Anakin rolls on top of her, away from the sun beaming in through the skylights.

"I should get going soon," He mumbles, burying his nose in her hair, "They'll be expecting me back soon."

"No," She argues, her arms wrapping around him.

"Precious," He chuckles when she nuzzles closer, her claws sinking into his back just enough to sting, "Freida, I..."

He pulls back just enough, or he tries to anyway, to look down at her, but she surges up to press her lips to his throat.

"I love you too," He sighs, "But sweetheart-... Frei..."

The whine she gives him when he pulls her arms away breaks his heart, "Don't want you to go..."

He swallows hard and pulls her close again, muttering against her hair, "I know."

He doesn't want to leave either, he'd gladly spend the rest of his life wrapped in her arms.

It's an hour later that he finds himself pulling on his cloak and she stops him by gripping his arm.

"Freida-"

"I know," She rises to her toes to kiss him. Her fingers running through his curls as she pulls away, "Come back safe to me."

"I always do," He assures her with a small smile.

She nods but the quiver of her lip gives her away, "I love you, Ani."

"I love you more, Precious," He says teasingly, trying to keep her from crying, "Sweetheart, it's okay, please don't- How... How can I make it better?"

She just shakes her head as he wipes away her tears.

"I'll be back as soon as I can, I promise," He insists, cupping her face, "Come now... I knew you had a crush on me, but I didn't know you were obsessed. "

She laughs through her tears and pulls him into another kiss.

Cria seems flustered when he comes strutting in like he owns the place four months later.

He greets her with as warm a smile as he can muster, "Is Freida around?"

The recent sieges have been taxing on him both physically and emotionally and he wants nothing more than to fall asleep in her arms.

"N-no. Her eminence has been off-planet for nearly a month and just extended her trip for another week," She explains, thinking her last-minute detour to Coruscant was to see the Jedi here now.

The whole situation sours his mood. He'd carefully planned his visit to Jein'ta to see her without drawing unwanted attention from the council, and she didn't even have the common courtesy of being there.

By the time he gets back to Coruscant, he just wants to collapse in his quarters, but something inexplicably pulls him to the Senate building. The whole place is swarming with politicians as a soiree goes on around him.

He doesn't know what he's doing here but just as he resigns himself to leave a familiar laugh pulls the very breath from his lungs. He whirls around, his eyes following the sound to the balcony on the far side of the hall. There she stands, beside Padme, giggling shyly at another senator.

His feet move before his brain can even register what he's doing.

As he crests the top of the steps she glances in his direction, her body freezing when their eyes lock.

Normally, he'd be delighted by the easy, loving smile that lights up her face, but he's too distracted by man across from her blatantly vying for her affection.

The displeased scowl doesn't leave him as he approaches. He holds his hands behind his back, his fingers flexing as he keeps himself from using the force to pull her to his side.

"Senators, your eminence," He greets coldly with a small bow.

She tries to hide her disappointment at his lack of enthusiasm, reminding herself they can't let anyone know about them.

"Ani," Padme grins at him, "I haven't seen you is ages, please, join us."

He agrees and Freida immediately feels as though she's drowning with him in reach but unable to hold him.

He suddenly inhales when he feels the force wrap around him like a warm, weighted blanket, tendrils of her love twisting between his ribs and around his heart. For a moment he forgets his annoyance, his weariness taking it's place until-

"Any man would be beyond lucky to have someone as sweet and beautiful as you by his side. How has no one snatched you up yet?"

Anakin's jaw clenches at the question as the senator takes her hand in his.

Her discomfort is palpable when she pulls away from him with a nervous chuckle, "I have more important things to worry about for now."

The soothing pressure around him dissipates as her anxiety rises and he decides to step in.

"If you'll excuse us for a moment," He interjects, taking Freida's elbow in his hand as gently as he can muster, "The Priestess and I have important matters to discuss."

He doesn't wait for an answer, trying to be gentle when he drags her away.

"You're hurting me," She says once they've wandered into an empty office, far away from the party and he instantly lets go with a muttered apology before leaning down to capture her lips with his.

"I went to see you," He murmurs into the kiss, "Why weren't you there?"

She snorts at the question, thinking it was a joke, but he pulls away with a serious expression.

"Anakin," She sighs, her fingers brushing through is curls, "Ever since I was voted to represtent Jein'ta in the senate, I've been pulled in a million directions at once. I was meeting with Senator Amidala on Naboo, she's been helping me understand some of the political goings ons and she asked me to accompany her here tonight. You don't honestly expect me to wait around every day for you to hopefully show up."

"I expect you to stay where I know you're safe," He argues. His rational mind knows she's right, it's completely outrageous to think she'd spend every moment waiting for him, but he's too tired to listen to reason, "The last thing I want is to have to worry about your safety while I fight on the front lines."

"I was with Senator Amidala, I was perfectly safe. I thought you two were friends?"

"We are! I just... Do you have any idea how much trouble she gets into?" He snaps, his worlds are colliding in ways he can't control, "It's just nice to have a warm bed to fall into after fighting for so long."

She knows he doesn't mean it as it sounds, but the implication stings.

"Is that all I am to you?" She frowns, "Something to warm your bed while you're away? Something to fuck when you're pent up?"

Of course not. She's his everything. That's what he wants to say, but his exhaustion and anger permeate the air as he leans down in her face and spits out, "And you're doing a pretty shit job at it by being here."

He regrets his words as soon as they leave his mouth, the hurt in her eyes overwhelming him.

"I-" The words catch in his throat when her glassy eyes fall and she steps back.

"If that's how you feel about it..." Her voice is barely audible, but then her face hardens and her gaze snaps back to him.

"I only accepted Padme's invitation tonight in hopes of seeing you," She seethes, "But if that's all this relationship was to you, then I'm done."

"Wait," He catches her arm as she turns to leave and she wheels back around at him.

"I'm not some distressed princess that can waste her life away pining for a man that clearly doesn't care about her the way she does he, to come and rescue her!" She berates him, "I'm just sorry I lost the time I did waiting on you."

Clearly doesn't care for her? After all he's risked for her? All he's been willing to lose for her.

"You're just a self important brat who thinks she's better than everyone else!" He accuses, "And it's been my absolute displeasure to serve you, Your Eminence."

He bows sarcastically before storming out of the office, brushing off Padme's concern as he exits the building, leaving Freida by herself.

Now alone, Freida covers her mouth with her hand to muffle the sob clawing its way from her throat as she sinks to the floor.

It's been nearly two months and both Obi-wan and Ahsoka have noticed a change in him. He's more reckless, more aggressive, and less like the man they both care about.

It didn't take long for his regret to turn to rage and he takes it out on bounty hunters and battle droids.

The worst part is that it isn't helping. Even as he disbatches the last droid of this battalion with his lightsaber all he wants to do is break down in his love's arms.

He's felt as though he couldn't breathe from the moment they parted ways and he doesn't know how to remedy it.

He deflects another blaster shot before turning toward the next battalion, fire burning in his eyes that scares even the droids attacking him.

He's torn through a large swath of droids when a wave of despair crashes over him, emotions stronger than his own flood his veins, and panic freezes him in place. Freida.

"Skyguy!"

He snaps back to the moment when shot grazes his arm and Ahsoka deflects three more from filling him with holes. They work together to quickly finish off the last of their attackers, but as soon as he beheads the last droid he disengages his lightsaber and starts for his ship.

"Where are you going?" Obi-wan asks as the younger padawan hurries to catch up.

"Something's wrong," He answers shortly, "I need to go to Jein'ta, I'll be back soon."

"Jein'ta?" The Jedi master puzzles, "But- Anakin! That's on the other side of the galaxy!"

They've barely touched down when he jumps out of the cockpit and starts for her townhouse, calling over his shoulder for R2 to wait with the ship.

He barges inside, double doors slamming open in front of him, startling her as she fixes a flower arrangement in the main foyer.

"Anakin?"

He takes hold of her elbows, pulling her in as he looks her over for wounds.

"What happened? Are you hurt?" He asks, worry prominent in his voice, "I felt you from the other end of the galaxy."

She stares up at him with wide eyes and he cups her cheek, "You've been crying, what's wrong?"

"I-..." She flounders for a moment, her lips trembling before she collapses against his chest, her body shuddering against his grit-covered armor.

He doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her and pull her close, "I'm here now, it's okay."

She's spent every moment since they parted trying to act as though she didn't miss him or that every second they were apart wasn't killing her. She was exhausted, she needed him more than she could admit.

"I'm sorry," She sobs and the pain in his chest grows.

"Don't apologize," He begs, "You have nothing to be sorry for, Precious. I was the one at fault."

His rough hand buries itself in her hair as he kisses the top of her head and continues, "I was upset and I took it out on you. I hurt you..."

"Freida-"/"Anakin-"

She pulls away just enough to look up at him, her eyes still wet with tears.

"I never meant to," He says quietly, "It's been destroying me inside knowing I did. I love you."

"I love you," he takes her face in his hands and kisses her forehead, "I love you," Her cheek, "I love you," Her other cheek, "I love you."

Finally, his lips land on hers, kissing her desperately. Her hands grasp his wrists, trying to hold him there when he moves to pull away.

"I missed you," She whispers meekly.

He pulls her back against his dirty chest plate, forgetting that he's even wearing it as he holds her tightly, "I missed you too."

"You smell like oil and sweat," She comments after a bit, once she's calmed down.

"I came straight from the front lines," He admits, "I thought you were hurt."

His body starts to ache as though saying it out loud reminded his bones just how tired he was.

"But you're safe... Right?"

Her arms tighten around his waist and she mumbles against his chest, "I am now."

With a heavy sigh she pulls away from him, taking his hand in hers.

"You look exhausted," He melts into her touch when her fingers graze his forehead to sweep his hair from his face, "Come with me, we'll get you something hot to eat."

He's about to trail after her like a dog when Obi-wan, Ahsoka, and a squadron of clone troupers come running in looking about as worried as he had been.

"Anakin, what happened? Where's the danger?" Obi-wan asks, lightsaber brandished.

The younger Jedi pulls his hands away, his face tinting pink, "There wasn't any."

He still doesn't know what triggered her sudden despair, as much as he would like to think it was her yearning for him, he knows something else must have happened.

"This is my fault," Freida steps in, "More of a... misunderstanding, actually."

The group relaxes and looks at her to continue. She swallows hard, her eyes flickering to Anakin nervously.

"It's been three years since my mother died," She starts, squeezing her fingers anxiously, "But this is the first year I've been home since it happened and I-..."

Anakin takes an instinctive step closer when her voice breaks.

"I didn't take being at her memorial well," Her admission breaks his heart, "I must have let my grief overtake my connection to the force and..."

"We're friends," He adds, tilting his head to look at her face, "After our time together we must have a strong connection through the force. I misread the situation."

"Well then," Obi-wan nods after a moment, not entirely buying their story, "I apologize for our intrusion, your eminence."

"No, please," She stops him when he motions for the group to leave, freezing slightly when he turns back to her, "I... You've come such a long way, I would be remiss if I didn't offer you a hot meal and place to stay for the night."

"Sir, the dreadnought does need repairs after that last attack, it might not make it back to Coruscant now," One of the clones mutters to Kenobi.

"In that case, I suppose it's best we take you up on that offer."

Cria on the otherhand isn't especially pleased by the soldiers tracking dirt, mud, and motor oil all over the clean floors.

Dinner is... tense, to say the least.

Anakin and Freida are desperately trying not to act odd in any way that may alert to the rest of the group that they have a long-standing relationship.

But that doesn't stop him from hooking his ankle with hers under the table, an action that makes her cheeks turn a faint purple.

Every touch between them sparks like lightning and this one is no different.

She tries to play it cool and continue any small talk, but she has a hard time seeing them all in Jeintian garb like this.

Cria had insisted they not wear their armor in the house because they were making such a mess, so now the lot of them, save for Ahsoka who wore one of Frei's old dresses, were wearing simple green and blue tunics and pants, which really was a sight. It was strange to see them in something so different.

Anakin especially. She's not sure what Cria was thinking when she handed him those clothes because they were nicer than the rest.

Something her father left behind from his younger days, she's sure. A deep green, well-fitted shirt with a high collar secured around his neck and diamond-shaped cutout along his chest and upper stomach. It's sleeveless and the hems are decorated with silver embroidery.

"Maybe the housekeeper likes me more," he'd scoffed when the the others remarked at the fancier clothes.

He's caught Freida staring at him across the table more than once and it does little other than stroke his ego.

"... isn't that right, Anakin?" Obi-wan's voice pulls his attention back to the conversation. He's so distracted by her hungry gaze and low-cut gown he doesn't know what he's being asked.

"Master Obi-Wan?"

"I was just telling our host about our latest skirmish on Felucia, were you not paying attention?" The teasing lilt to his voice makes the younger man grimace.

The rest of the evening is spent this way, with his companions poking light-hearted fun at him whenever he gets distracted.

He sighs in relief when the meal ends and they can retire to their assigned rooms, knowing it won't be hard for him to sneak out to see her.

They're spread across three rooms, the jedi in one and the clones split between two others.

"I forgot Jeintians forwent more classic beds," Obi-wan sighs at the large arrangements of cushions, one of which Anakin ungracefully collapses into.

He seems far more at home here than the rest of their party. Obi-wan knows he's been here a few more times than himself, but the ease at which he walks around, as though it were his own house, concerns him.

His body is screaming for sleep, but once the sun goes down and the others seem to be asleep, Anakin quietly makes his way back into the hallway.

He effortlessly makes his way to her door, knocking softly and waiting for her to open it.

When she does, she looks up at him half-asleep, and he melts at how adorable she looks.

"I didn't mean to wake you," He whispers, his fingers brushing through her hair.

"You didn't," She mumbles, "'m wide awake."

"I can see that," He chuckles when she yawns, "C'mon, let's get you to bed."

He gently ushers her back inside before anyone can see them, shushing her little protesting whines.

"Don't fight me here, Precious," He warns lightly, "I wanna hold you for a while."

That gets her attention and she pulls him down with her into her nest of pillows.

He hums contentedly into her mouth, moving to kneel above her, "Missed these lips."

He hisses when she grabs at his shoulders and slides her hands down his arms, grazing the burn from his earlier fight.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," He insists, kissing down her jaw.

"Anakin," She huffs, sitting up beneath him.

"It's just a scrape, princess," He assures her, "I'm alright."

"Show me."

He does, sighing she she pouts and gets to her feet.

"Seriously Frei, I'm fine."

She ignores him as she sits in front of him with a small kit. She lets him pull her against his chest and leave a trail of kisses down her neck as she digs through it.

He whines when she pulls away again, but let's her take his injured arm.

His blue eyes stare intensely at her face while she patches him up.

Her fingers are soft as she wraps a bandage around his bicep, tying it off before pressing a soft kiss to it, making him shudder.

"All better," She smiles, and he doesn't know how, but he falls even more in love with her.

His hands tangle in her hair and he pulls her back against his lips, "How did I ever get so lucky?"

He tries not to laugh when he feels a familiar rumble pick up in her chest. Even now, he hasn't quite gotten used to the purring.

He moves her first-aid kit to the side with the force so he can lay them both down as she nuzzles against his neck.

Despite the warmth of her embrace, his mind wanders the look of her tears and pained expression back in the Senate building and he holds her tighter, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"We both said things we didn't mean," She says, "At least... I know I didn't-"

"Of course I didn't," He frowns, "I was just... I was tired and in a bad mood. I should've known better than to take it out on you like that, you're my everything."

He feels her smile against his throat before pulling away slightly.

"This suits you," She grins, fingers toying with the window on the chest of his tunic.

"Do I look as devastatingly handsome as I usually do?" He teases.

"Even more so," She hums, leaning down to kiss him again.

Warm sunlight shines through the windows and her heart sinks when she finds herself alone.

He must have left not long after she fell asleep, knowing they couldn't be caught together like that.

She stretches out in the midmorning sun, her claws digging into a cushion as she does.

She takes her time waking up before strolling out to the kitchen in one of her more casual outfits, thinking their guests would have left hours ago.

"Well, that just isn't fair," The sudden voice makes her jump and knock her mug off the counter, "Careful!"

He catches it with the force, setting it back on the countertop as he steps closer.

"I thought you'd left," She gasps.

"Is that all I get?" He chuckles, "No 'how did you sleep?' No good morning kiss?"

"Oh, how rude of me," She grins, leaning up with her hand on his chest to press a soft kiss to his lips, "How did you sleep, Ani?"

"Terribly," He mumbles into another kiss, "Kept reaching out to hold you but you weren't there."

She hums, nuzzling against his chest.

"My pretty girl isn't awake yet, is she?" He coos.

"Haven't had my tea," She mutters.

"We can't have that now, can we?" He tuts, stepping away.

She watches with soft eyes as he starts her morning ritual for her, "You don't have to-"

"I don't mind."

She pushes herself up on the counter and crosses her legs, "What did you mean when you said this wasn't fair?"

"What was that, princess?" He asks, glancing over at her.

"When you walked in."

"Oh, that... I mean, just look at you," He shrugs, "We're supposed to keep this thing a secret, but when I see you look like that, how am I supposed to keep my hands off you?"

"Cause you're so easy to stay away from in that shiny uniform?"

He chuckles and parts her legs with the force, stepping between them as he hands her back her cup. His fingers graze her exposed midriff and pride ride swells in his chest when her cheeks darken, "Lovely little thing."

"Stop," She whines, trying to hide her blush from him, but he's not having it.

He hooks two fingers under her chin and turns her face back toward him, "Please don't hide from me."

They're just inches apart, his breath fanning over her face, intoxicating her as he presses his forehead to hers.

She sets aside her hot drink and grabs the back of his neck, tugging him into a hard kiss.

"Do you even know what you do to me?" He groans against her lips when she doesn't let up, "Fuck."

"Sweetheart... gotta be careful," He huffs breathlessly, pulling back as far as she'll let him, "You're gonna get us caught."

"Says the one pinning me to the counter."

"I can do more than just pin you to it," He challenges, about to nip at her lower lip when the sound of footsteps comes close to the kitchen. He quickly pulls away, leaving her sat there flustered as Ahsoka walks in.

"Am I... interrupting something?" She asks, freezing awkwardly in the doorway at the sight of Freida's deep purple cheeks.

"Nope," She squeaks, quickly lifting her mug to her face to hide her blush.

Well that wasn't convincing, the padawan thinks before glancing at her master, and neither is that.

He's glaring at their host like a predator staring down its next kill, his chest and shoulders heaving with heavy breaths, like he wants to devour her whole.

"Okay... Well, I'm just gonna take this and... go..." She says, grabbing a fruit from a basket on the island and backing out again.

"I think we may need to work on being less suspicious around other people," Frei mutters into her drink.

"Hey, it's hard to act though I'm not desperately in love with you when you're so close," He admits with a playful smirk. He closes the distance again, their noses bumping, "You've bewitched me, body and soul. Everything I am is yours and I don't care if people know it."

"But I do," She argues and his eyebrows furrow in confusion, "Anakin, you love being a Jedi... I would never ask you to give that up for me."

His face softens at her explanation and he surges forward to kiss her again, careful not to spill her still-steaming tea.

"I promise, someday I'll come back for you and never leave again," He vows, "And we won't have to sneak around like this love we have is wrong."

Anakin wakes with a start when the woman beside him bolts upright, crying his name. Her hand hit his chest, scratching his skin as she feels it's really him.

"I'm here," He says, sitting up next to her and wrapping his arms around her waist, "You're okay, I'm here."

His voice is soft and reassuring as he holds her.

It's been less than a year since he'd been expelled from the Jedi after falling under Darth Sidious' thrall, and only a few months since the Sith lord's trial had ended.

This was still new to both of them, him being within reach every moment of the day, and openly being them.

"I'm right here, Precious," He mutters into her hair. His flesh hand rubs soothing circles on the small of her back while his mechno arm holds her tight to his chest. They both get force-terrors of that night at the Jedi Temple, of the things he did and can never take back.

Freida clings to him as she tries to catch her breath. He's real. He's safe. He's yours.

That thought alone is enough to calm her. He's yours. She holds him tighter and he lets her, kissing the crown of her head.

The force wraps around them like a comforting hug, both isolating them from the world and connecting them to everything in existence.

"It's over," The ghost of a promise whispered in the night, "We made it."

#death by anyone's hand but his would never taste as sweet #prisma self ships #prisma writes #self ship writting #self ship community #self ship story #anakin skywalker #fluff #hurt/comfort

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