#for once nothing hurts

[tiredlostwriter]

Feanorian hugs rating headcanon:

Maedhros : 13/10

He's a big boy so all engulfing hugs, he likes to bury his head into the person's shoulder and smell them if he needs comfort (because I have a personnal headcanon he's at least partially blind after Angband so he relies a lot on his other senses, including smells ). Overall it feels really safe and comforting, after all he was used to comforting his brothers when they were little.

Maglor : 6/10

Not the biggest hugger out of the brothers, but he still might go for side hugs when he truly needs comfort. He was also known to rest his head on Nelyo's shoulder when he was young

He still gets a good rating because he hugged Elrond and Elros a lot and gave them the sweetest, most gentle hugs ever, as he used to with his own twin brothers.

Celegorm : 9/10

Maybe the less princely of the feanorion, he hugs a lot and is generally spontaneously touchy with people, blame it on growing up half feral in the woods. He gives the best bear hugs and is somehow pretty reassuring. Minus one point for being slightly overbearing at times.

Caranthir : 7/10

Strangely enough pretty good, I refuse to believe that after spending some times with dwarves he doesn't warms up to their culture (in my head they are way more liberal with touch than elves). Therefore he hugs loved ones at time, especially when he's drunk. Sober, he likes short greeting hugs better but once drunk, he sometimes forget to let go of them here goes my headcanon that's he's really touch starved becausd of the middle child syndrom™.

Curufin : 1/10

Does not like to hug, doesn not like to be hugged, will freeze if hugged by surprise, and scowl at any person who proposes it. The only point goes for Tyelpe as a baby and Feanor when he was young.

Ambarussa (yes they're one person now) 5/10

Really not that bad, they're the babies of the family and got doted over a lot by their eldest so they like hugging a lot, the problem is their unability to stay still for too long, they start squirming about 10 seconds in the hug.

+ Celebrimbor : 100/10

Sweetest hugs ever, he likes to bury his face in the other person's chest and radiates warms. He's a sweet angel and needs to be protected at all costs.

Link to the previous headcanon about maedhros partial blindness :

[lotus-pear]

regret

[wardingshout]

fast travel duck my beloved....

[wistfulwatcher]

bau members + near death experiences

[mikakuna]

actually the thing that pisses me off when fandom talks about the titans tower incident isn't even just that people wildly misinterpret/overreact to it, but that they only care about it because it happened to tim

half the other unhinged shit jason has done towards heroes (beautiful and spectacular) is like. never brought up. the titans tower incident is just tim fans' way of angsting up their blank canvas

[hawkinsbnbg]

Kas left the Upside Down to find his mate.

omega verse, monsterfucker Steve, bitching, dub-con (non-con if you squint), mind-manipulation, HE

Eddie Munson was reborn in the Upside Down as Kas. He still had his old memories, wills, and affections. He knew he had fantasized about Steve Harrington during his short mortal life.

After sitting back and watching Eddie’s recollection of the younger boy, Kas decided that Steve—strong, brave, and pretty—would make a great mate and even greater mother of his pups.

Did it matter that Steve was an alpha? No.

Kas’ only concern at hand was to make sure that his intended would be well-bred and well-fed no matter what happened in the future.

And if it involved laying low in Steve’s house until the boy smelled ripe and ready, then Kas had all the patience in the world to spare.

Steve had been searching for someone to spend his rut with these past few weeks. He didn't want to given what the town had just been through. But it had become more painful recently when he tried to go through it alone.

And yet, all he had was an undead Eddie Munson—now a bloodthirsty monster—in his basement.

Sure, it kept making feral noises and eyeing him like a piece of meat, but Steve wasn’t intimidated. He had been through too much to be fazed by a simple-minded creature who wore his crush’s face.

Yeah, the irony of speed-running his bisexual awakening and crisis in the middle of a life-and-death marathon hadn't been lost on him.

He didn't care that Eddie was also an alpha. He was going to court the shit out of the guy anyway. If only Eddie was still alive, they could’ve both figured something out. Like bitching Steve so they could mate and have their six little nuggets together.

Instead, Eddie decided to go and sacrifice himself, then had the audacity to come back wrong and break into Steve’s room at three am.

Maybe he should’ve felt grateful that this monster didn't cause him harm, that it had followed him down the basement and stayed there when he asked nicely enough.

(In hindsight, he should’ve called Code Red the moment he found it. But his selfishness had won over his self-preservation.)

Although Steve was still pissed, he couldn't help but visit this warped version of Eddie every day and hoped beyond hope that miracles would happen and give him back the boy he had fallen for.

As days went by with barely any positive developments, Steve eventually caved and decided to contact Hopper to ask for El's help.

But then his rut arrived and Eddie—

“Kas,” the monster growled, nipping his neck and pounding into him without mercy. “Not Eddie.”

—had jumped him as he was trying to see through his agonizing arousal alone in his bed.

It had hurt at first, the way Kas had ripped into him while ignoring his cries and struggles of protest, but after two?—Steve had lost count of how many times he had been knotted and bred—he started begging for the other man’s cock like a bitch in heat.

Which was terrifying and confusing. Because he was an alpha. Why did it feel good to be knotted all of a sudden? Why would his instinct tell him to present for his alpha? Why did he think about Kas as mate?

Something had changed when Kas bit him, he realized dimly.

Of course, Kas had been going at it for god-knows-how-long. If Steve was still an alpha, his hole wouldn't have been able to fit that ridiculously big knot, and he would’ve died by now from the internal bleeding alone.

He looked at the man-made monster above him. Still those big eyes, still those plump lips, and still those dark curls. But now those eyes were blood red, those lips were torn with sharp teeth, and those curls had grown thicker and longer.

A ghost of a man he used to know. A monster that he was forced to welcome into his life.

And somehow, Steve was only saddened by the fact that he was claimed by his alpha in such a brutal way. So different from the romantic dream he had planned for the most significant moment of his life.

A small part of Steve was wondering why he was so calm about all of this, screaming at him to fight back, to try his damn best to escape this nightmare.

But his subconscious terror was quieted and put back to sleep by the bloody scent emitted from Kas, telling him he had nothing to worry about, that he was as safe as could be, that he should let his alpha take care of him.

“Mine,” Kas snarled as he gave a few stuttering thrusts and pumped Steve full again, bullying his knot into Steve’s tight cunt—sore and sloppy by the breeding that seemed to last forever.

Steve keened and quivered as intense pleasure crashed over him, leaving him drooling and cross-eyed. For a while, he just laid there on his ruined sheets, boneless and spread out beneath the voracious beast like a sacrifice.

As Kas began moving again, Steve finally let loose those chirps and trills, pleased that his alpha loved him enough to fill him up with those precious seeds and gifted him with their pups.

Steve felt good, the kind that made his brain melt and stream out of his skull through his nose and ears. He didn't think, couldn't think. Each thrust—deep and powerful—got him shaking like a leaf, punched out every breathless noise from him, and rendered him delirious.

“M’yours,” Steve mewled and wrapped his arms around Kas’ neck, gazing into those intoxicating eyes lovingly. “Alpha.”

Kas grunted, movements turning frenzied while a familiar expression flashed across those handsome but contorted features. And then, he saw Kas smile for the first time, wild and roguish.

“Aren’t you a pretty thing, Sweetheart?”

Five months later…

“Still nothing?”

El opened her eyes, nose bleeding and brow pinching. She looked at Dustin and then shook her head.

Nothing.

Robin was the one to burst into tears first, Erica was next while clinging to Max who struggled to keep her tears at bay. Lucas, Will, and Mike cried silently, while Nancy, Jonathan, Hopper, and Joyce looked downright defeated.

Only Dustin still refused to give in to his sorrow.

They all held onto the sliver of hope that Steve was alive somewhere out there. But even so, five months of searching blindly for Steve had taken its toll on them.

Despite that, none of them were planning to stop any time soon. They didn't go through literal hell to save the world just to lose one of their own.

“I won’t believe he had died until I saw it myself,” Robin sniffled but the steely determination in her eyes beat anyone’s faith here.

“I concurred,” Dustin nodded, eyes bloodshot and shoulders heavy with grief but still stubborn to the core.

Slowly, everyone recovered from their despair and exchanged resolute looks with each other.

One last time, El could read as much from Hopper’s tired gaze. She knew he was right. She had hit her limit on the last two attempts, but she still kept going on, fearing that she would abandon Steve to the den of monsters if she gave up now.

With the blindfold over her eyes and the TV static reverberating in her ears, she took a deep breath and released it slowly. She told herself she could do this as she stepped into the Void once more. It was pitch black until she saw a flicker of light before her entire vision was covered in red.

She didn't panic, but her heart thumped loudly in her chest, threatening to tear her ribcage open to leave and find Steve on its own.

Thankfully, she wasn't left waiting for too long. Her sight was cleared again and there, standing outside Hopper’s cabin was a healthy and heavily pregnant Steve, glowing with joy and happiness.

She only let out a startled noise when she caught sight of his companion. Or precisely speaking, his mate had informed her about himself. She suspected that this man was also the one who had covered her vision in red just moments ago.

“They’re here,” she threw her blindfold away and sprang up to her feet.

“Who?” Nancy was the one asking, sounding both hopeful and weary.

“Steve and his mate,” she wiped the blood under her nose absentmindedly as she sprinted toward the door.

When El threw it open, she heard someone gasp behind her.

“Is that Eddie fucking Munson?”

Said man raised his hand with a friendly smile that showed his too-sharp canines, “Long time no see, everyone.”

As her surroundings erupted with cheerful and confused noises, she gave Eddie a quick inspection for safety caution and blinked in surprise at what she found.

Oddly enough, the creature seemed unbothered by that and just winked at her impishly.

Then, she glanced at Steve who was smiling brightly while bombarded with question after question, smelling of ripe cherry and nectarine. If she concentrated a bit harder, she could pick up the vague scent of blood—sweet and tasted like copper.

El tilted her head.

Should she tell Steve that his mate might not be very human?

[ancientbygone]

i didn’t do it, i didn’t do it for love; what did i do it for?

[sequel piece to kill the sparrow]

[total-drama-brainrot]

Alenoah, where Noah cares about Alejandro, more than Alejandro's family did:

Noah: I will now torture you.

Alejandro: Kinky!~

Noah: I think you are brilliant and beautiful.

Alejandro: Wait!

Noah: You deserve to be cared for and loved, despite your mistakes.

Alejandro: No!

Noah: Your feelings and needs are valid, and deserve to be heard.

Alejandro: I need a safeword! 😳

Real.

[aalghul]

I don’t think it makes sense to assume that Jason was mocking Mia’s past. At all. The thing that got jason painted as violent back in the 80s was his anger against rapists…how does that turn into mocking a victim? and that entire story was written by winick. Do we honestly think winick intended to communicate that? The same writer who made Jason’s first kill a man who was trafficking children? Who had Jason pause in his mission of madness to make sure those kids were found by the right people so they wouldn’t be in further danger?

[hallowclave]

What a whimsical looking young man I wonder if he has received any job offers recently

Original photo

[rendnotmyheart]

Soulmate aus are so interesting in an iwtv context. Like for humans it's easy, right? They get their soulmate mark, they find their soulmate, or maybe they don't, and they live their life. For vampires though? Do vampiric soulmates even exist? How could they when the soulmate marks are relics of their human life? When the other person who has the mark will be dead before their life as a vampire has even begun? Or were they always fated to become a vampire? Did the universe take that into account? Will they have to wait some hundreds of years for their soulmate to be born? Their soulmate could be anywhere, any time. Hell, their soulmate could be the person they just drained. Who knows. Even if they were somehow able to find them, what are the chances they'd stay together for eternity? It is eternity after all. Not even the universe or fate can guarantee that.

[eve-is-obsessed]

this really says a lot about society 😔

[mirrorhouse]

putting this all under a readmore and not tagging i just wanted to put my thoughts down somewhere .. talking about marius and his fans & tw for mentioning csa / sa

personally. i understand that the marius/armand relationship has been a popular part of the book series for decades and it's fictional and yes i get it. but. i dont understand those fans who encounter people who find it purely horrifying or upsetting and then get mad at them for it. just because of how it's framed in the books as a beautiful gothic love story (filtered through both the author's intention & the skewed perspectives of the two characters involved in it) doesn't mean EVERYONE has to romanticise it and it's only babies or idiots or show only fans who "can't handle gothic fiction".

and then the people who try to convince everyone marius is armand's saviour who only ever treated him with love and kindness really confuse me. like, is it a wholesome relationship built on mutual love? or is it abusive and awful AND loving and caring at the same time? aren't the people who deny marius did anything wrong to armand really the ones who can't stomach enjoying gothic romances and have to twist it into something else?

it's a story of a fully grown man, a millenia old vampire, rescuing a teenager from sex slavery by purchasing him for himself, renaming him, showering him with affection, sexually abusing him, genuinely loving him, treating him like a child and an adult and student and son and lover all at the same time, making his entire world revolve around his master, punishing him emotionally and eventually physically whenever he gets too clingy or aggressive. and it's all done, not under just the 'guise' of love, but from a place of genuine love, and that's how both characters see it. it's entirely damaging and fucked up and the aftereffects of it on armand's mind and sense of self are present for centuries, compounded by everything else he went through. he still draws both comfort and pain from thinking about his past now and even tries to partially recreate the dynamic with someone else both in the book (with daniel, armand taking the role of the master; and keeping young 'mortal slaves' for a time) and in the show (with louis, armand taking the role of the slave)

it is a super fucked up relationship & i'm not one of those people who thinks you shouldn't be allowed to enjoy those in fiction. there's a lot of them that appeal to me obviously, and of course everyone has their own boundaries when it comes to that too. AND i know it's not all marius fans or even all marius/armand fans. i literally don't care what people like in fiction and i think we should all just mind our own business honestly

but it's the people who act like they're the only ones who get that it's just a tragic beautiful romance, that nobody else can read apparently, that 'marius haters' are just looking for things to be mad at that make me go ???????

[swordheld]

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

[crumbleclub]

Conflicting dynamics between Michael and his siblings are so intriguing. I feel like a lot of people slant strongly one way or the other– he's either protrayed as a good brother who's been thrust into a parental role and does everything for his siblings, or as a complete monster of a kid who spends all of his spare time tormenting his little brother– but it's more interesting to me when it's both.

The Michael who cruelly locks his brother in a room surrounded by the things he fears most and the Michael who tries to redirect his father's abuse away from Evan and towards himself are the same person.

The Michael who did his sister's hair every morning is the same Michael who tore apart her toys when he was angry with her, and both parts of him were there when he found himself crying in her room at the realization she was never coming home.

On top of that, they probably had a lot of very normal moments, too. They played outside together in the summer and tried to pawn their chores off on each other. There was one song they all liked when it came on the radio, and they made fun of the adults they knew when nobody else was around. None of them knew how to talk about their feelings, but, when one of them had been having a really rough time, they'd find that the breakfast Mikey made the next morning was their favorite, or Evan's favorite show had been put on even when Elizabeth had the remote, or an anonymous party had left a really cool rock on Michael's bedside table.

It must have been strange from the younger kids' perspectives, especially Evan's. Your brother keeps making you cry on purpose, and he's so, so mean, for no reason at all, but you know the bruise under his eye had been meant for you.

[federaliszt]

cuddling

super soft for scenes where a traumatized whumpee character with touch-issues is in charge of a small kid for a night or two, and the little kid ends up being the one who breaks through the whumpee character's "don't touch me" personal-space bubble.

whumpee holding the kid against their chest, talking the kid through their nightmares, reassuring them that they will be safe and whumpee will stay with them until they fall asleep, feeling the kid oh-so-slowly drift off in their arms, their head and hair getting a bit sweaty and their little muscles finally loosening up after what feels like hours on end of koala-bear-hugs.

caretaker walking past the room with whumpee and the kid sleeping on top of them, just smirking a little bit at how cozy they like, maybe slyly nabbing a photo for later reference.

whumpee feeling a sort of whole-body at-peace sensation as their autonomic nervous system just relaxes at last.