#for my whole thing that i've vaguely talked about before but that's a whole journey i can't go into just in the tags

[front-facing-pokemon]

[lurkingshan]

Knock Knock Boys: The Unexpected Delight of the Summer Season

Who would have thought that this little under appreciated pulp would come in and steal the Thai BL summer season with so many bigger, shinier, more expensive shows on air? Not me! But here we are, and Knock Knock Boys is going down as one of my unexpected favorites of 2024.

I liked this show from the start, with its premise of four men, each dealing with various Life Situations, coming to live together in a shared home and developing natural friendships and romantic attachments. Each episode begins with a cold open that puts us squarely in the middle of their latest shenanigan and then we jump back to work our way there over the course of the episode. The writing is clever, the directing and editing is zippy and fun, and the whole thing is founded on queer and sex positive themes. I expected it to be a sexy, comedic romp with a sprinkle of mystery as we learned more each week about what these boys were running from.

And it is that, sometimes. But it is also a surprisingly touching story of queer friendship and finding yourself and your tribe and building courage to live an authentic life with the support of your loved ones. It's a story about making the effort to understand and giving each other space to figure ourselves out. It's a story about the importance of communication and giving others a chance to come through for you. It’s a story about how true friendship and patience and empathy can empower someone to change their life.

And it's also a touching romance, times two. Latte and Almond were the favorites all the way through for most of us watching, and seeing them go from friends to something more to proper boyfriends was so lovely. What I loved most about their arc together is how gently it advanced; despite Latte starting the show as our resident sexually experienced pansexual, he was also clear that sex and relationships are meaningful to him, and we saw that in how he pursued Almond with utmost patience. Almond was completely inexperienced and fixated on another guy when they met, and Latte was his genuine friend in helping him sort through his feelings and move on from Jumper before he was a prospective love interest. When Almond became more aware of the attraction between them and they began dating, it all felt natural, as did the progression of their physical intimacy. They are precious and their relationship has such a strong foundation that it's easy to believe they'll stay together long term.

Perhaps most surprising to me is how much I ended up loving the Peak and Thanwa romance, as well. Peak's journey, and the way it ultimately landed, is what sent this show into the stratosphere, and it's where that theme about patience that I mentioned above comes through most strongly. For much of their story, Peak and Thanwa were caught in a frustrating cycle of constantly misunderstanding each other, and it was mostly down to Peak's failure to communicate about his family situation and the way it was restricting him. These two kept missing beats, refusing to talk, and hurting each other because they just couldn't get it together to clear the air, and that can be hard to watch episode to episode. But once we have the full picture, Peak's behavior becomes understandable, both to Thanwa and to us, and we can only join his friends in rooting for him and giving him strength to be brave. And he was, in one of the most satisfying and heartwarming scenes I've seen in bl this year.

I just can't recommend this show highly enough, and I've kept things somewhat vague above because I hope more of you will watch it now that it's over and available for a binge. This show is not perfect, but it's so heartfelt and you will be rewarded in the end. You can find the show on Gaga and the small but mighty crew of us regular viewers screaming about it every week in the tag. You don't want to miss it!

[divine-crows]

✨️10 Things I always Include in My New Grimoire/Book Of Shadows✨️

I'm getting to the end of my second grimoire (prior to this I'd have random stuff in school notebooks that I unfortunately don't have anymore) so I thought it'd be fitting to talk about the stuff I benefited from copying over into my second Grimoire along with what I will most likely put into my third Grimoire.

Please Note: for my journey a Grimoire is the most fitting way for me to describe my preferred method of transcribing what I learn. As a result I will be referring to a Grimoire the whole time but this knowledge can be generally applied to other witchy books meant to hold knowledge.

To help with dictinctions:

Anything with an asterisk* indicates I regretted not including it before

Anything without is stuff I've included and benefitted from having on hand

1. The Elements and Their Correspondences

What I Include in this entry:

- A page dedicated to each element

- Tarot Card, Astrological sign, Color, Crystal, and Herb correspondes (condensed down to crystals and herbs I'm guaranteed to use)

- a vague list with ideas on what this element embodies vibe wise (for example: Earth can represent success, stability or fertility)

- A page dedicated to ideas on how I can work with each element

- how to invoke and banish an element with a pentacle

Why I Find this Entry Useful:

It makes for a very useful reference point when doing spellwork. I can easily see if I can use elemental symbolism and how I can incorporate it.

It also can be nice to reference if I'm celebrating a holiday that embodies the energy of a specific element. I can reference the page for ideas on herbs to use while cooking, colors I can incorporate, etc.

2. Moon Phases, Time, and Seasonal Correspondences

What I include in this Entry:

- a drawing of each moon phase along with about three adjectives to describe the phase

- lists of associations for each time of day

- a chart of the cardinal directions and which season and element corresponds with each one

Why I find this Entry Useful:

It might sound weird that I have all of this stuff condensed down into one entry but hear me out: it's so much nicer to plan rituals and spellwork when all you have to do is look through two pages??? Especially if your first grimoire has all of these entries in more detail (which I heavily reccomend so all of the knowledge is still recorded somewhere), it's nice to know you can easily access the basics without reading every little detail, and then you can always go back to your old grimoire when you need to access more information on the topic.

3. Cartomancy/Tarot

What I Include in this Entry:

- very brief definition of Major Arcana, Minor Arcana, and Court Cards

- elemental correspondences of minor arcana plus what they symbolize

- what each court card symbolizes

- a numerology "cheat sheet"

Why I Find this Entry Useful:

This is one of those things that will not be helpful for everyone but since I practice tarot frequently it's perfect for me. Even if you're not a big tarot person I at least reccomend you pick something you do a lot and create a condensed version for you to review when you need it!

4. The Witches Compass/Opening and Closing Circles

What I Include in this Entry:

- a brief explanation on why you'd use one

- a step by step guide on how you would open and close one

Why I Find this Entry Useful:

Even though I don't always utilize the Witches' Compass or a standard magic circle, I like to have a condensed form written in case I need to perform a ritual but don't have the space to lug around multiple books.

5. Alters, Shrines, and Temples

What I Include in This Entry:

- Definitions of each word

- a list of examples of types of alters

- a general run-down on what typically goes on an altar

- ideas on how to decorate an altar

Why I Find this Entry Useful:

I actually don't have an altar space currently, but I do find it useful to have inspiration on hand in case I need it. I also just find it useful to have the distinctions on hand in case I'm cross referencing my research.

6. Warding and Defensive Magic*

What I Include in this Entry:

- a list of types of wards with minor guidance on how to use them if I don't use them often

- ways I can use defensive magic if things go wrong

-When to ward/When not to ward a space

- a page dedicated to the Witches Ladder, how to make one, and I typically include one of my own spells with it.

- a page dedicated to a basic house protection spell

Why I Find this Entry Useful:

This is one of the topics I didn't copy over into my current Grimoire but really regret not doing. Since I like to dabble in Astral travel and a huge part of my practice is working with the in between this knowledge is nice to have on hand.

I'm personally of the school of thought that you don't need to ward everything at all times, however if you're like me and you do a warding spell every once in a while and then you forget how to do it... yeah might be nice to just always have it freshly recorded so you're not rifling through all of your stuff.

7. Magical Excersizes from Books, Media, Etc.

What I Include In This Entry:

- the source I got the excersize from

- what the goal of the excersize is

- a step-by-step rundown

Why I Find this Entry Useful:

It's especially nice when you're dealing with burnout or a mental block. It's also oddly refreshing to occasionally do one.

Now, I wouldn't reccomend having every magical exercise you've ever done in your new Grimoire, but I usually pick three or four that I really like and write them down.

8. About Me Page*

What I Include In This Entry:

- Deities I mainly Venerate

- What magical "paths" or ways of life I tend to follow

- How I feel about my practice (Do I need to improve in some areas? Do I feel lost? Etc.)

- Things I want to explore more or do more

Why I Find this Entry Useful:

This is another entry I seriously regret not including more. With my first Grimoire (that I didn't lose) it served as a good spot to check in order to see my growth, look for anything I hadn't learned yet but wanted to learn, and it served as a nice sentimental peice to look back on.

Some may not benefit from having an entry like this, but others may find they'll benefit from it like I do!

9. A Basic Guide on Fae Species (or other entities depending on your practice)

What I Include in this Entry:

- I usually pick about 8-10 Fae to make an entry on and I try to keep it in a broad, diverse range.

- A picture depicting each thing

- Name of species

- Anecdotes on their temperament, how you can avoid pissing them off, etc.

Why I Find this Entry Useful:

As a Celtic Pagan it feels right for me to have an entry that includes the Fae even though I avoid interacting with them when possible. I've also generally had a sort of fixation on the Fae and their way of life since I was young so it's a little something that speaks to my heart and my passions as well.

If you want to look at this more practically, having a guide of common entities can be good in case you encounter one that way you have a sort of code of conduct written down.

10. List of Herbs I Commonly Use and their Correspondences

What I Include in this Entry:

- Household herbs I can easily find in the pantry

- items I can easily forage and use from outside

Why I Find this Entry Useful:

My first ever list of herbs was basically every Herb under the sun and how I could use it. Did I use any of those herbs? Heck no! Now I keep a small, condensed list of stuff I actually use and have easy access to and if I use anything I'm not used to that's when I reference my giant list.

Not all of these topics may personally speak to you, but I hope that at least some of them could help you decide what you'd like to include in your own books!

[system-of-a-feather]

is there anything you wish youd known about DID-specific therapy before you started? sorry if thats weird or vague, i just finally have a therapist that treats DID and im both nervous and relieved about it, so i guess im just wondering if you have advice as someone who has made so much progress with your own DID

God yeah there is a lot honestly. Like there are a lot of general rules of thumb that I've seen get mentioned here that I can say are usually really good things I found to be mostly true in my experience like

Persecutors are frequently demonized and they can be INCREDIBLY hard to work with, but they are incredibly important, often are parts that are capable of having the most growth and tend to add the most to the system once you figure out a good way to communicate and work with them; that said, don't push anything you aren't capable of handling, if they are being too much, safety first; just remember that they're probably some of the best allies you can have should you make things work with them; there is little stronger bonds - both between parts and as a whole - formed when you can befriend and trust someone / the part of you that you've always hated / avoided. Loving persecutors is self love and self love is important for healing

While keeping track of your parts can be helpful, try not to obsess and fixate on trying to find all the parts and figure out when and where everyone came from. It can become overwhelming (especially if you have a lot of parts), you might find parts and things you aren't ready to deal with if you try to look too hard, and it can take away from the important processing, bonding, communication, and present issues you might be facing as a whole

Its okay to relapse on maladaptive behaviors, especially if it keeps you safe and/or from relapsing or starting potentially more risky / dangerous / harmful maladaptive behaviors. Two steps forward, one step back, it's still progress so try not to be hard on yourself. Struggling and fumbling is part of recovery, you aren't bad, or wrong, or uniquely "broken" or anything for struggling through recovery. Recovery is just fucking hard and engaging with it at all is a really amazing and powerful thing.

Integration =/= Fusion. Integration is just improving and increasing the communication, connectivity, and fluidity of information and coordination of parts. Integration is inherent in any form of DID treatment.

On top of that, I think some of the ones I don't see talked about as much would be...

Splitting, while often assumed to be a negative thing and a result of trauma (true and sometimes!), can be very healing when you look at it from a larger lens. This isn't to say that you should want to split or seek to make new alters as a coping mechanism, because I'd probably say in most situations that is probably not healthy. This is more so saying that if your brain wants to / needs to / does split, its okay to just let it happen. Trying to actively prevent splits can cause a lot of emotional / trauma overwhelm and risk crisis states and honestly, sometimes its easier to deal with two (or more) contained and stable parts than it is to deal with one complex and unstable part. Likewise, sometimes it is easier to be two (or more) contained stable parts than it is to exist as one complex and unstable part. Splitting sometimes - and often is - a mechanism to maintain stability and keep life for all parts within a relative "window of tolerance" that you can function in. Splitting isn't a moral failure or a recovery failure or anything special. Splitting is just part of the journey of recovery and a lot of people split after they start recovery cause it can be a pretty hard thing to go through. You aren't alone if this happens and it is just part of the process and journey.

Similar to that and something that we've been talking on this blog a lot and trying to spread...

Fusion does not have to be a final thing. Fusion does not have to be a huge and notable event. Fusion can last anywhere from a few minutes, to a few hours, to a few months, to forever depending on what works for you. If a fusion isn't working for you or isn't sticking, your brain will likely re-split and if it doesn't, you can always actively try to undo it and we've done it multiple times pretty successfully. Fusion ALSO isn't anything special, it's something that just happens. Fusion and splitting are two sides of the same coin and really aren't anything as permanent or anything that carries any inherent value to it beyond what it means to you as an individual / whole.

And probably one of the things that I was the most astonished by

You don't actually have to process all your trauma to be at a place with your DID where you are considered to be "in remission" or to even reach functional multiplicity / final fusion. A lot of the meat of DID-focused therapy and recovery and improvement to life is not as much in the trauma processing as much as it is in the stabilization period; that is just to say, the main meat of growth, recovery, and improvement is found by working with your parts to establish an internal support system, internal trust with one another, and deeply getting to know each of the parts. Of course, trauma processing will happen along the way, but you can get EXTREMELY far with recovery simplly by focusing on the stability of the system, how you each support and communicate and coordinate with one another, and dealing with the trauma topics that come up in the immediate present. A good way to think about it is that the stabilization period is essentially creating a strong foundation and a strong base so that you feel secure and confident navigating basic day to day life with a lot of internal love and support and the trust that you and your parts can support eachother through a SHIT ton of stuff. If you can develop an internal relationship with your parts and your system that is very strong and built on trust and care, then dealing with trauma and adversities become WAY easier. Thus it can be a lot easier to postpone any heavy trauma processing that is not actively relevant and actively necessary to help improve internal relationships until AFTER you have a stronger and more secure realtionship with your parts. Thus I would suggest focusing on the present issues, the things parts are feeling and experiencing in the moment, and addressing those rather than trying to uncover every secret and trauma that you may or may not remember. If the trauma is something you are ready to deal with and it's relevant, your brain will bring it up when the time is right. Trust your brain thats protected you thus far and kept you alive thus far to let you know things when you are ready to know it, but also don't be afraid to ask parts for help if it does share more than you are ready. That's just to say - Don't Dig for information you don't want to know, but if something comes up that you don't feel equipt to deal with, its completely okay to seek internal or external help to try leave it behind. Again, especially early on, the focus should be on stabilization rather than trauma processing.

And just a little small one about online spaces and what not, but try not to worry too much abotu whether your experiences with the disorder align with others, or if you look "fake" or what not. A lot of recovery will look like things people who don't know better would think is "impossible with DID" and online spaces tend to be a place where a false image of what things "should" look like is kind of developed. Whatever you experience is what you experience and is inherently a real and true experience. Don't try to force yourself to fit into the expectation and boxes of others as it will often slow down your progress.

[fluffypotatey]

Honestly, LMK turns the plot on its head so often that I've never voiced this due to the Macaque hate club, but legit. What if Wukong killed Macky trying to save him because as we've seen with MK, he can use that amount of force, that same line, trying to keep someone from certain doom, so why not an out of control monkey with hijacked powers? Macky just. doesn't remember. but that might even be plot relevant since Wukong also doesn't remember things, supposedly. *stares at Nine.* He might've never done anything to Tripitaka and friends, I mean, current Macky has never even SAID anything about hating those guys, heck. He out right SAYS the Monk was good for Wukong and he was allegedly killed AFTER the journey, even if the friendship ties between them never ended afterwards, I honestly struggle to see Macky even being angry enough to want to "save" Wukong as he never did before to just.....be so crazy about it to the point Wukong needs to kill him over it. He'd stand down, he WOULD listen to reason, right? Unless if something else was going on? There'd have to be some other trigger for him to just go off like that, as for all these memories. I bet the "he" Nines was talking about could have been the Demon King of Confusion. You can really make up some fun new powers there, the guy's the first villain ever in JTTW, it's kind of poetic, and also. "Demon KING." Sure, good foe for the Monkey King. They can give him the LBD treatment in raising the prestige.

What if Wukong killed Macky trying to save him[…]?

this has, honestly, been my own theory for what went down since i started lmk. like i knew they would be vague about Wukong and Mackoach’s circumstance because, you know, Wukong did a murder in jttw and this is a kid show intended for an audience of 8-10 year olds. and that kind of topic is a doozy to do right in media (Western media especially).

anyway, by s3, i was under the impression that Macky assumed Wukong killed him final blow style, but Wukong actually left him incapacitated enough for him to admit defeat (and maybe, possibly leaving him for dead, oblivious to the fact that Mac might be too weak to use his shadow powers) because of how much lmk utilizes unreliable narratives. but then, watching Wukong’s and MK’s fight really solidified that original theory of mine. when Mackintosh frees Wukong from his memories in 5x07 (also jfc Wukong literally spent a whole season trapped in his memories and has to do it all over again, my poor babygirl ;-; he’s exhausted!!!!) Wukong looks horrified.

STOP MAKING HIM RELIVE HIS PAST HE ISNT OVER IT AT ALL AND HOLDS TO MUCH GUILT AND REGRET (pls continue!!!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏 put him through the ringer!!!!! make him snap por favor 🥺🥺🥺🥺)

ahem. AnYwAY!

clearly, that fight is considered one of Wukong’s deepest and darkest memories (which were what the 100-eyed Demon was looking for. because he likes the good tea like me frfr) and doesn’t like looking back at. in a way, it makes sense with how much distance he placed between himself and Macody in 1x09 (almost….indifferent one might say 👀 or trying to act apathetic about it which comes off annoyed…..ain’t that interesting?)

but yeah. good food for thought :3

[kinghijinx22]

Top 5 queer ships from video games

HELLO my fellow queers! Just in time for the end of Pride Month I have decided to write about my top 5 queer canon ships from video games because I thought it would be a cool thing to do for the occasion, because I play the video games and am obviously very queer myself. This is also sort of a post to go along with the top 5 pansexual characters that I did last year as well. So to begin our list at number 5-

5. Alex Chen and Steph Gingrich, Chengrich from Life is Strange True Colors- Starting off with a ship not from a game I've played myself but I've seen plenty of lets plays of which is something I can say about the whole Life is Strange series, Alex Chen and Steph Gingrich from True Colors are a couple of dorky sapphics with a really cute relationship. The best in Life is Strange in my opinion, while the series has always been known for having good queer representation, I personally was not as impressed as others with the vagueness and burying of gays that LiS 1 and Before the Storm did, and while LiS 2 is better with Sean and Finn in it's explicitness, they make Finn such an asshole. Canon bisexual protagonist Alex Chen of True Colors is the most likeable protagonist in the series in my opinion, and Steph Gingrich who is lesbian, is easily the best love interest. Better then Ryan from the same game in my opinion, Alex and Steph's relationship is well developed throughout the game and the 2 of them have some really heart warming moments, especially that kiss when Alex goes upstairs to see Steph during that town event. Alex seeing the blue emotions around Steph before they kiss because she's worried about Alex not kissing her, and then she does and they explode with the yellow light of happiness. And then in the endings, Steph either settles down with Alex or Alex who is also a musician joins Steph's band and they go on tour together which is very romantic as well. Best LiS couple easy for me.

4. Bayonetta and Jeanne, BayoJeanne from Bayonetta- So now we jump into games that I have played myself with BayoJeanne from Bayonetta, specifically their relationship from Bayonetta 1 and 2 because Bayonetta 3 fucked it to ship Bayo with that loser Luka instead. Bayonetta and Jeanne though were badass power couple of witches in the first 2 game. Childhood friends, to lovers, to rivals, to lovers again, what a wild ride for a relationship to go through as well but they end up being so sweet together. To explain, in Bayonetta 1 Bayo has lost her memories and Jeanne is brainwashed by Bayo's evil sage father Balder so Jeanne as another powerful witch is Bayo's rival throughout the game and it is heartbreaking, fighting your lover who you don't even remember. They both get their memories back by the end of the game though, and Jeanne rescues her girlfriend Bayo from the goddess Jubileus so she can punch her into the sun. Bayonetta 1 has some strong BayoJeanne moments but Bayonetta 2 goes all in with their relationship, with Bayo going on a romantic rescue mission to save her girlfriend from the demon Alarune, journeying through literal heaven and hell to do so. That file that you can pick up in Bayonetta 2 that talks about someone going through hell to find their lover, and then that scene where Bayo wakes up Jeanne after rescuing her from Alarune is great. "What do you need a wake up kiss or something?" referencing some developer art that shows their homelife, where Bayo has to wake up Jeanne for work. Love this badass witchy power couple, the sapphic aunts who always spoil the nephews with Christmas gifts.

3. Jala and Tyler, Jyler? from Thirsty Suitors- who I don't believe have an actual ship name until I just made one up because Thirsty Suitors is so underrated that it's fandom is almost nonexistent? Seriously this game is really good and I wish Tumblr had more fan art for it, especially Jala and Tyler fan art because they very quickly have become one of my all time favorite couples in anything. The most recent addition to this list for me, I only just played Thirsty Suitors for Pride Month and while protagonist and biggest bisexual disaster I've even seen Jala has 7 exes in total, 6 of which you need to confront throughout the game, Tyler has been the most important person in Jala's life. Her childhood friend who she has been on and off with romantically, but the girl who was always by her side and who she would always come back to. I also want to say that, it's mentioned that Jala was also by Tyler's side and helped her while she was transitioning which is really beautiful and I think it's cool that a trans girl is the main love interest of this story. Jala and Tyler have a very messy but special relationship, and after Jala is able to reconcile with Tyler after how much she had let her down in the past, it's implied that they do end up back together and in a fully committed relationship by the end of the story through some art depicting their future together which is good. I just need to mention that Thirsty Suitors is a super charming and delightfully queer game that handles it's characters and themes very well and I highly recommend it. It's a game that celebrates queerness while also allowing it's characters to be heavily flawed and their relationships very messy, as seen with even Jala and Tyler.

2. Susie and Noelle, Suselle from Deltarune- Toby Fox has been a very supportive queer ally and with Undertale and Deltrune, his games have plenty of great queer representation. But while Undyne and Alphys from Undertale are ok, I honestly don't really like Alphys specifically and personally think Susie and Noelle from Deltarune are the much superior sapphic ship. Because both Susie and Noelle are both great characters and absolute cuties who deserve to be happy together! A super adorable story of blossoming young love and self discovery, dorky lesbian deer girl Noelle is head over hooves in love with the cool dinosaur girl from her school Susie. And while Susie does start off as a bully in chapter 1, it becomes clear that she has a lot of her own personal stuff that she's working through that is heavily implied to be from her home life but by the end of chapter 1 she makes some good friends in Kris, Ralsei and Lancer who actually understand her and she grows as a person. While she doesn't really interact Noelle with chapter 1, you do find out as Kris that Noelle has feelings for Susie when she asks them for more information on her. And it's chapter 2 that REALLY develops Susie and Noelle's relationship and gives them a lot of cute moments together, because Noelle actually joins Susie and Kris in going to the Dark World on their adventures this time. And through chapter 2, Susie and Noelle's relationship is developed incredibly well with all of Noelle's adorable blushing and freaking out around the girl that she loves, until the beautiful scene where Susie gets to rescue Noelle from being captured by Queen and they escape on a heart covered Ferris wheel of all things which gives them an incredibly sweet moment together that always makes me cry. Just seeing them these adorable young queer girls being awkward and falling in love for the first time is just so adorable and funny in the best way. And then afterwards, the thing that actually gives Noelle her courage to stand up to Queen is saving the love of her life Susie! AAAAAH I LOVE THEM AND THEY ARE PERFECT FOR EACHOTHER!!!! The only caveat is that Deltarune isn't finished yet and Susie and Noelle technically aren't together yet? But it's very obvious that their relationship is something that is being built towards and I am very excited to see how it develops in future chapters, what we've gotten already has been great though and has given us so many cute moments for Suselle.

Gregg and Angus, Grangus from Night in the Woods- The only MLM ship on this list because there is a distressing lack of MLM relationships in video games compared to there actually being a decent amount of WLW, especially with main characters. But Gregg and Angus are my overall favorite romantic relationship in all of video games. Night in the Woods is another game with some great queer representation, including it's main character Mae who is canonically pansexual which delighted me to find out as someone who is pan and she made it to the top of my Pan characters list from last year. But she doesn't get much of a romance besides meeting a girl that she has feelings for at a party that doesn't lead to much. Her best friend Gregg and his boyfriend Angus though, are also both main characters and their relationship actually gets a lot attention and development and it's handled beautifully. Their experiences accurately represent what it's like living as an openly gay couple in a small and not so understanding small town. Especially as they were the only queer people living there while Mae was away at college. A small town that also doesn't really have much going on, and they both want to move away where they can live a happy life together in a town where they will be supported and accepted more, where they can maybe meet other queer friends. It's an incredibly sweet and relatable story, and the 2 boys work their butts off at their jobs to make their dream of living that life together a reality. Which is why Mae's coming back home and bringing out the chaotic side of her best friend Gregg does bring some tension to their relationship, but she eventually realizes her mistakes and learns that she has to let them go. Gregg and Angus's relationship becomes even more sweet when you learn more about how they met, how Angus had a horrible upbringing with violently homophobic parents who didn't accept him, but then Gregg came into his life and saved him. And then also that scene where Mae talks to Gregg and he's worried that he isn't good enough for his boyfriend and Mae has to give him and uplifting talk. They just mean so much to eachother and they really bring the best out of eachother as well, with Gregg helping his shy boyfriend to come out of his shell a bit more, and Angus helping reel in his hyperactive boyfriend from getting a bit too wild. Gregg and Angus are so sweet and supportive of eachother, a beautifully written queer couple and my favorite ship from any video game.

But anyway, I hope all my fellow queers had a safe and happy Pride Month! And also that you enjoyed reading my list, I would recommend all the games that these ships are from to people. Thank you for reading and remember to stay proud of who you are all year round because no matter your sexuality, gender, what pronouns you go by, whether your closeted or not, you deserve all the love and respect and fuck any bigot who thinks they can tell you otherwise.

[intherecentfuture]

Galaxy brain theories before the 9-1-1 fall finale airs on ABC. Featuring my vague recollections of things I've seen mentioned about the episode, including:

The episode is called Wannabes (presumably referring to Brad and someone related to an Athena plotline)

Brad and Bobby get closer or something Idk how what I saw was phrased but I vaguely recall the implication of "intimacy" (not like intimacy intimacy, but...you'll see come theory time!)

Brad and Eddie allegedly have some kind of scene together that's emotional??

Also, I think the show said or implied Brad has been divorced 5 times

That's that for vague facts.

Onto the theories:

Brad is going to realize that it's not just being a firefighter he likes. He likes Bobby. He's in agony over it for 2.5 seconds before he declares his love for Bobby. Bobby turns him down.

At some point in this process, Brad and Eddie talk. Yes, this talk could be about Chris but idk what if actually it was about how Brad had recently (literally hours earlier for comedy sake) realized he was gay and in love with Bobby and now he's had his heart broken.

Somehow, in some part of the conversation, it clicks into place for Eddie. He's just like Brad. Well, not just like Brad, he's a far better person than Brad, but he relates to Brad. To trying so hard to make it work but coming up short (think 5 divorces versus everything with Shannon).

Maybe. Eddie should explore the possibility that he's gay?? He's going on a Face Journey when...

Buck shows up, joining Brad and Eddie wherever they're chatting. He's dusting off his shoulders trying to hold his head up and move forward post-Tommy.

And Eddie thinks. Oh no. Something in what Brad said about how he feels about Bobby is just like how I feel about Buck. But Eddie needs time to think. But then...

Brad (naturally) tells Buck everything immediately and Buck gets to be the wise one for once. He says something about dating men, idk what exactly.

Whatever Buck says also clicks for Eddie. So much to think about. But then...

Heartbroken, looking to soothe his pain, Brad gets an idea. He asks Buck out. Why not? Why not? Buck's the coolest.

And Eddie. Just watches. As Buck says yes.

And then Eddie. He Realizes.

End of episode!

Oh wait also Eddie also sees himself as a wannabe because he spent his whole life trying to fit into a role that wasn't right for him.

That's how I see it all going down.

P.S. I am joking. But also, what if?

P.P.S. If things have been said that are inconsistent with my theories, I want to be totally clear: Okay! I'm just having fun.

[safyresky]

Scrimbly Jacqueline 37/52: Diteline Donniline family portrait!

BOOM BABY! DITELINE KIDS! AKA DONNILINE KIDS! Because when Jacqueline and Dite have their kiddos, Dite has had her whole arc and goes by her true name, Hedone! (Which I know I have said a bunch of times already lol but since this is THE Donnieline fam post, it's here for posterity).

This one was by FAR my most intensive scrimble YET. Joy's wings nearly took me OUT. I have NO IDEA how to alt ID this as of yet, oh my GOD. The sketch was finished Friday, the lines Saturday, and the colours took all day Sunday on and off between Year 9 edits (and then drafting this post took most of my evening between episodes of Face Off lol :)

In terms of designs, Milfline is in her usual fit, Milfdone is in a casual fit based on this dress here. And as for the kids...well. I think it's time we officially meet them, shall we? I'll go oldest to youngest!

JOY

Meet Joy! She's the oldest of the bunch! Is about 8 (hundred) in this scrimble :) (on the right (our right), with the wings)

Was "born" on accident due to the HUGE amount of joy Jacqueline and Dite felt after being reunited when Venus did some BULLSHIT

(Including, but not limited to, misnaming Hedone for THOUSANDS of years, cursing Jacqueline into an eternal sleep and casting her into the underworld, and setting Hedone on the same journey Psyche went on for Cupid just before Dite was born)

She is the literal embodiment of Joy. Literally.

She has ALL the celestial/god powers!

She can do a little bit of fire and a bit of frost but not as much as her mom, her mom's fam, or her siblings

So she can conjure some flame and some snow/frost but that's about it sprite wise!

Is as talented a weapons master as her Mater

Has 0 (zero) castor magic abilities

Is the Cupid after Donnie (The Third Cupid. Cupid the Third).

Has butterfly wings like Psyche, her grandma!

They start small and grow with her. I based the pattern on monarch patterns and the shape on this clip art lol

The tips are vaguely heart shaped lmao (emphasis on VAGUELY)

In terms of wing pattern itself, it's not final? But the vibe/idea I was going for was a snowflake-esque motif for the top wings, and a combo of hearts and sparks/stars for the bottom wings! Also not sure about colours—I'm deffs gonna use her wings as like, a blank canvas every time!

Joy is just a bundle of Joy. She's an absolute sweetheart. Not a SINGLE PERSON dislikes her, she's just so sweet it's so hard to DISlike her

Seems kind of like a bit of an airhead because she's so full of joy and whimsy and such but she knows when to smarten up and is ALWAYS looking out for her siblings (despite what Bianca thinks)

Her heart pochette was so last minute but I LOVED IT SO MUCH!!

Hair I've always pictured strawberry blonde, but I think it's more orangey thanks to her summer sprite relatives!

Has Jacqueline's eyes!

Hair is fairly curly! Turns out when you constantly freeze your hair into curls, the curls become genetic ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

BIANCA

Meet Bianca! She's the middlest, and is about 7 (hundred) in this scrimble :) (on the left, with the C: face)

Joy really wanted a sibling and so, for funsies, Dite and Jacquie are like "Oh? What would they be like?" and build a snowman with her, to her specifications lol

They have a very fun time together but then things get...weird

The snowman seems to have a mind of its own. It moves around on them. It doesn't melt. Joy claims it talks to her.

It starts to look more little girl like. Knowing how sprites were originally made, Jacqueline's like hmm...

She talks to MN, who tells her to go to this very sacred section of the Springs and she does and she gets a life light and goes DAMN. OKAY. GUESS WE'VE GOT KID NUMBER TWO ON THE WAY!

She gets home that day, and finds the snowman, and gives it the light life and POOF! Suddenly, Bianca!

She's named after Winter's bio Mom :)

Bianca is FULL Winter sprite; she has 0 god things going on.

She CAN do some castor stuff! Dips into warlock lineage but I'm not sure she has a staff—she Blaises it: wandless magic FTW babieeeeee!

Is the Jack Frost after Jacqueline (The Third Jack Frost. Jack Frost the Third. As you can see I am workshopping how they refer to the latter Legendary Figures lmao)

She has this really cool talent where she can pull the most GORGEOUS colours out of the snow and ice

When she freeze dries, it is more icy looking like her Uncle Jack and she is CONSTANTLY changing the shades. Blues! Pinks! Purples! Sometimes she gets some ORANGE going! She's like YEAH BABY! FUCKIN. COLOURS!

She is a bookworm; of the 3 Donniline kids deffs the more sensible/down to earth/serious one

Which is saying something as she and Robyn do all sorts of shenanigans together lol. Wait until you see the VDay oneshot >:)

When THAWED, her hair is as dark as Jacqueline's and she tends to also put lil colourful streaks in that lol. I keep picturing it as a bit of a poofball? Idk where she got the poofball gene from. Humidity is her enemy lol

Has Dite's eyes!

She likes sweater vests a normal amount, she swears

ROBYN

It's ROBYN! They are the youngest, most hyper active, and the future governor of Crystal Springs (I am not joking. I am so serious. He is the person who finally defeats Blaise in an election)

They are about 6 (hundred) here and are smack dab in the middle of the scrimble

He was gonna give Joy bunny ears but then she got too excited and started hovering and now he's trying to save it with a wave lol

Robyn is genderfluid! Usually goes by he/they but has been known to have some she/her days and has dabbled in neopronouns, I'm sure

Robyn has the most chaotic birth story, because of COURSE he does

Gods started bragging one day and somehow. SOMEHOW Donnie got into it with Jupiter about how HE birthed Minerva from his HEAD, to which Donnie replied "YOU ATE HER MOM AND THEN ASKED VULCAN TO SMASH YOU WITH A HAMMER BECAUSE OF THE HEADACHE SHE GAVE YOU AND BOOM. AUNT MINERVA. THAT'S NOT THE SAME AS GIVING BIRTH. I'LL PROVE IT!"

And then she does. Well, sorta! She doesn't. Y'know. Eat Jacqueline after fucking her or anything like that, and I don't think they conceive traditionally. There's DEFFS some god magic involved.

But anyway, they have a spot of fun, and Dite takes care of the "pregnancy" bit, and Robyn bursts out of her BICEP nine months later lol.

He's always like FULLY FORMED AND READY TO SLAY and then Bianca goes NO YOU WERE A BABY. BABY SHAPED. I WAS THERE AND SAW to which they reply YOU WERE TWO (hundred), FUCK OFF

And then fisticuffs happen as Joy yells about the swear jar

It's deffs still a wip lol but tl;dr: Robyn comes out of Dite's bicep :)

He is full Summer sprite! Loves them some arson and fire. ALSO fully warlockian! Can cast like nobody's bizz! Has his Uncle Fino AND Grunkle Pyros AND Gramps AND Uncle Jack teaching him

Needless to say, he's a force to be reckoned with

Either wears a blazer or denim vest COVERED in buttons and pins. Depends on the plans they've got for the day! Business, or party?

Would probably wear the vest OVER the blazer if they felt so inclined lol

His satchel is bottomless. Got it from B-Man :) It is great for tomfoolery, shenanigans, snacks, and storage!

Has a trans bestie and I think the pair of them accidentally bring back PRE MONARCHY fae. It gets weird.

Was born with fully white hair; he looks full winter sprite but is a summer sprite

When his hair on fire it stays white. Very cool >:)

Also playing with the idea of his flames being blue and white or one or the other! Still thinking about it lol

I tried to see how I liked him with the summer sprite eyes and decided I don't!! So he'll also have the Jacqueline eyes :) Make people assume he's a winter sprite SO FAST until he sets something on fire with their bare hands

He is very proud that he is an enigma ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE lol

And I think that about covers it for these goobers, for now! Bianca's hair is DEFFS very different in my head so I will DEFFS have to do proper doodles of them all to give you guys the full vibe. These guys have been CARTWHEELING in my head, let me tell you. I love them dearly. Have a snippet of their shenanigans:

“How do I look?” “Stunning, jaw-dropping, gorgeous—ready to kick ass, even!” “Oh, stop it,” Donnie said, playfully waving a hand. “Never.” Jacqueline fell back, her head hitting the pillow. “Check on the kids on your way out? Bianca was still awake when I got in.” “Still?!” “One more chapter, she said. You know. Like a liar,” Jacqueline huffed, snuggling into the covers. “Oh, boo! It’s already cold.” Donnie laughed, clipping her charm bracelet onto her wrist. “It’ll warm up. And if not, we’ll make short work of that later.” Donnie did not need to turn around to know that her wife had turned very red. The squeak that came out of the blankets was enough of a tell. Laughing quietly to herself she left the room, keeping the door slightly ajar. Across the hall, another door opened. “Did someone say they needed some WARM?!” Robyn asked, popping out of their room. He wore a throw blanket over his head, clasping it around their neck like a cape. “You know how your Mom is.” Donnie swooped over, giving Robyn a big old hug. “The moment I leave the bed she freezes.” “DUTY CALLS!” Robyn saluted, rushing across the hall and bursting through the door. “CHARGE!” “AH!” There was a poof, pillows hitting the ground as both Jacqueline and Robyn laughed. “Get over here you, I’m fucking freezing.” “MOM! SWEAR JAR!” The door beside Robyn’s burst open, Joy’s head popping out with a small frown. “PUT IT ON MY TAB!” Joy huffed, the stray hairs on her forehead briefly lifting. Donnie tilted her head. She frowned. “Joy.” “Mmmmyes?” “Are you dressed for work?” “Oh, this old thing?” she popped out of her room fully, clothed in Donnie’s old chiton from her Legate days. “YES. Absolutely I am! You said so yourself! Duty calls!” her eyes were wide, with a big old smile to match. She clasped her hands together excitedly, hovering off the ground, her wings fluttering rapidly. “I was just thinking, you know, it being THE day and all, that we’d better be ready to help you however we need!” “SHE DOESN’T SPEAK FOR ME!” Robyn shouted, Jacqueline laughing loudly. “Well, Bianca and I will—” “NO!”

There was a clatter from the room beside the main. Something fell with a hefty thunk; there was a scramble as Bianca’s door burst open. “FIRST of all, I don’t do the Cupid thing! I do the Jack Frost thing! SECONDLY, I’m not going ANYWHERE this morning cuz I’m almost done my book, and it’s a slow burn, and they only JUST admitted their love and I am like. Only one fifty pages in!! THERE’S STILL ONE HUNDRED MORE PAGES! So I’m booked today. Literally.” “Bianca! You should have been asleep hours ago.” “Okay, one more chapter, Mater, then I’ll sleep." “YOU SAID THAT AN HOUR AGO,” Jacqueline shouted from the bedroom. “I’M A SLOW READER,” Bianca shouted back. “THE FUCK YOU ARE!” “SWEAR JAR!” Joy shouted. “I saw her tank that really thick romance last week in like, an hour. It was fascinating,” Robyn continued unabashed, volume as normal as it got with the kids (which was still pretty loud). “It was really good! I was HOOKED! Their magic system was stupid but I couldn’t stop reading. I was like, enthralled with how unreal the mechanics are—HOLD UP. ROBYN.” “WHAT.” “DID YOU START A CUDDLE PUDDLE AND NOT TELL ME?” “…” “YOU BITCH!” "SWEAR JAR!"

From the Valentine's Day Donniline Special, Bedtime Stories, coming to a platform near you in February!

This is 4/5 of the @kscribbs suggestions! It was a simple prompt: a family portrait of Jacquie, Donnie and the kiddos. Did I go overboard? (squints at colours, bios, birth stories, AND the oneshot snippet) very much yes. But hey! Now's a good time as any to show you the lil' guys!!! AND I AM FINALLY CAUGHT UP ON THE SCRIMBLES! AH!

This week's scrimble will be ANOTHER cute one (I TOLD YA I'd have cute to compensate for the angst of #36) and then the week AFTER is an EVEN CUTER ONE I've been DYING to do—topical since that'll be my BIRTHDAY WEEK! YEAH!

Right! I think I've uh. Said enough. Too much, even. Oy vey. These tags are gonna be WILDIN. See y'all with the next scrimble Friday, and Frostmas Y9 before that! :D

[happyk44]

Re: my tags on that last post (basically saying that I'm pretty sure Rick made up the whole Romans feared Neptune thing, because there isn't any proof of that I can find), it doesn't really make sense to have done that because there's no real split in the books between the romans and the greeks. not to mention we don't actually have a child of neptune to use as a reference point in the books of neptune's behaviour. we just have a vague anecdote about a kid 100 years before that caused an earthquake.

cool. so like. none of the other demigods have ever caused a major problem. just that one kid? alright.

the thing is: greek gods and roman gods are different. yes, they're conflated, but a lot of gods are conflated with one another. that's how hermanubis came into being. that's how neptune became the god of the sea - initially he was just the god of fresh water, then he got kind of merged with poseidon, and wound up in charge of the salty sea and probably came out of that deal, like what the fuck, i can't drink this??

also if you look at any greek god's wikipedia page or other informational website, you will see something like "their norse equivalent was X, their indo-european equivalent was Y, their etruscan equivalent was Z) and so on. i'm pretty sure this is common on the pages of some members of other pantheons, i just don't feel like checking right now.

everyone steals and shares. it's kind of just what happens.

but back to greco-roman and pjo nonsense. greek and roman gods are different gods. but in the books, they're considered to be the same, just different fonts, where the greeks are more easygoing solo artists, and the romans are war-faring teammates, fancy cursive versus clear print. part of the series insists that the two are somehow different, but there's very little split in tone when it comes to characterization. part of this is because we do not see children of the same god paired against one another. the exception to this is hazel and nico, and briefly thalia and jason.

there's little to no difference between hazel and nico. other than hazel being better at money, and nico being better at dead people. hazel does not come off as more militaristic compared to nico. if anything, nico seems more strict and stringent than she does. you could argue that's because of trauma, but then arguably, they should be the same on that level.

if you wanted to label a difference between "oh this is clearly a child of pluto and this is clearly a child of hades", then hazel's curse shouldn't have been a thing. it should've been "all children of pluto can do this, but children of hades cannot/have a harder time with it" (which is what i headcanon anyway). additionally hazel could've been the one capable of doing geokinesis, not nico, but unfortuantely we'd already seem do it a bunch in the prior series, so that never would've worked out.

there's no real difference between thalia and jason either. we never get an internal monologue from thalia, so we can't see how her thoughts might differ from jason. but they are both children of zeus/jupiter who were pushed into leadership positions (thalia as head of the hunters, jason as leader of the fifth cohort). they both utilize lightning powers, they both are good fighters (but considered less good than percy). thalia fights with a spear, one of ivlvis's forms was a lance (which is a type of spear). i mean fucking hell, part of jason's training under the wolf house is making the journey from the house to camp jupiter on his own and frigging thalia had to do that too.

i've also already talked about the different explorations of zeus/jupiter's abilities as a god of law and order - so like if you wanted to show contrast between romans and greeks - enough to prove that they were ACTUALLY having issues maintaining a specific identity - then there could've been more emphasis on jason as a figure of law and order, especially due to rome's very high placement of jupiter (and juno).

conceptually, however, there is no difference between the two of them, just as there isn't much difference between hazel and nico, aside from personality. and we are never exposed to any other other demigods at either camp enough to see how they differ from their counterparts.

percy wasn't even at camp jupiter long enough for the whole "children of neptune are a threat because romans fear the sea" thing to be worth anything useful. and like?? did it ever come up again in any of the other books? did it ever have a fucking point?

i would've understood it more if he had actually pulled it from real history. but the romans did, in fact, have a navy and utilized it as part of building their empire. there's legit a wikipedia article labeled "roman navy". so this narrative that they despise neptune because they hated the ocean and didn't sail is really odd! like yeah, the navy wasn't as important to them as the army, but it's not like it was written off entirely! it couldn't have been. part of the roman empire was in the frigging mediterrean.

and to stop from going on about that, part of my takeaway from the books was that the camps ended up understanding that there was no real difference between the two of them, finally joining together in peace and harmony and blah blah blah

(which, then, why the two camps just didn't fucking merge after that, i will never understand, like i definitely thought that's where the series was headed, sort of like a hey, if you're living on the west coast come here and if you live on the east coast come here and if you're in the middle then, fucking i dunno, eat some grass)

but!! if rick wanted the "neptune is greatly feared" thing to have an effect, it would've a) made more sense had he actually shown neptune in the books and made us understand WHY the romans feared him, b) given us a child of neptune to round out the other two and provide a contrast to Percy, and c) actually given us some decent contrast between the two camps/gods! i mean even with ares and mars arguing, there was little between the dialogue to indicate "these are people with different priorities". it was just blood, murder, kill everyone! like, come on,

now - if the series had been written in mind with the two pantheons being written as completely separate entities - and the romans' dislike of the greeks was due to the modern day conflation of "oh roman gods are just greek gods, there's nothing special about them" that would've been pretty interesting as a dilemma. it also would've been cool because rather than roman vs greek battle being written like the same entity technically trying to fight itself, it would've been a historical throwback of "hey remember when ancient rome took over ancient greece"

anyway i am done rambling, back to my thoughts about that daughter of neptune i definitely do not want to write a fic about

(also re the gods having issues trying to keep a single identity down: why the hell was frank the one who had gods arguing in his head? i know i've complained about this before, but frank wasn't having identity issues - jason was. if anyone should've had the greek vs roman versions of their parent fighting in their head, it should've been him)

[alltheoutsinfreeeee]

I know very little about Dr who, who is Idris?

Okay, let me set the stage:

Ancient being who is eternally kind but also infinitely lonely due to being the only one left of their own kind, journeys through time with a spaceship that's also a time machine and (mostly) human companions.

The spaceship is called a TARDIS, Time And Relative Dimensions In Space, and has been established as sentient. Multiple TARDISes exist across the franchise, but the Doctor's TARDIS specifically looks like a blue police telephone box and is bigger on the inside. It's also a fact that, while sentient, the TARDIS has no way of communicating with words, she doesn't have an interface or anything.

The Doctor's companions inevitably leave for various reasons, be it death or stuck in other dimensions or just plain choosing to no longer travel with the Doctor. But the TARDIS was, is and will always be a constant.

Now, The Doctor's Wife features an enemy who feeds on TARDISes by ripping out the matrix/consciousness, stick it into a flesh body to burn out, and then consume the remaining energy with no intrusion.

When this happened to the Doctor's TARDIS, she was stuck into a woman called Idris. Barely anything is known about Idris before she became the TARDIS' vessel, so I use the name mainly for the TARDIS consciousness and TARDIS for the ship.

So the TARDIS shuts down because its matrix is gone and Idris is stuck in a too small body and the ability to form words. Tenses and linear time confuse greatly, to the point where even when alone she keeps speaking lines from conversations she will have later. There's also the issue of social norms.

Idris: You're my thief! Look at you! Goodbye-- no, not goodbye, what's the other one?

Doctor: Why am I a thief, what have I stolen?

Idris: Me, you're going to steal me, you have stolen me, you are stealing me-- Oh, tenses are difficult, aren't they?

Uncle: Just keep back from this one, she bites!

Idris: Do I? Excellent! (bites the Doctor)

Doctor: Ow! Owww!

Idris: Oh, biting's excellent! It's like kissing, only there's a winner!

Idris: It means the smell of dust after rain.

Rory: What does?

Idris: Petrichor.

Rory: But I didn't ask.

Idris: Not yet. But you will.

Things happen and it takes a while until the Doctor realizes that Idris is the TARDIS. And I've been trying for hours now to find the words but I genuinely think that I can only properly explain their dynamic by just showing it.

Suranne Jones did such a good job playing Idris. The whole episode is a delight, and then the ending hits. I have rewatched this episode at least 100 times now and I keep crying at that final scene. Like [gestures vaguely]. A madman and his box. They both stole each other and are each others' most faithful companions.

Amy: Look at you pair. It's always you and her, isn't it, long after the rest of us have gone.

Doctor: You say that as if it's a bad thing.

I basically just spoiled the whole episode but I genuinely cannot talk about why I love Idris without doing so. Taking what basically amounts to a plot device machine for the last 50 years and make her into her own character for one episode is genius.

TLDR: IDRIS = TARDIS CONSCIOUSNESS AND VERY GOOD CHARACTER, LOVE LOTS

[mishacollinsthighsss]

I'm still not over what happened, but I have brain worms and they most likely make absolutely no sense and don't even go together but I need to get them out, so heh... guess you guys have to suffer.

THIS PROBABLY WILL INCLUDE A LOT OF TINHATTING BOTH FOR DESTIEL AND COCKLES.

You still there? Great, let's get into my not medicated adhd brain a little.

First of all, starting Friday: The Album Drop

...do I need to say more? No? Well too bad, because I'm going to 😂 I'm a huge music freak, been singing since I was four, play guitar and the piano (I didn't say good okay, I'm actually very jealous of Jensen) and I've been obsessed with lyrics for pretty much forever. Alright, call me crazy but this album is so Dean Winchester coded it's unreal. Every song could be put together with Dean and I'm not even joking. You know what's even funnier? THAT THE DAMN SONG JENSEN AND MISHA PUT TOGETHER YESTERDAY COULD VERY WELL END UP AS A RADIO COMPANY SONG. The lyrics definitely needs some work (probably making it more vague), but... come on. The first thing my mind jumped to when I realized what Jensen was singing was Watching Over Me. MOVING ON.

Second: Jensen's answer about the Destiel reunion

This hole thing still drives me crazy. This was probably the clearest answer we've even gotten from Jensen, plus we got confirmation that he'd like to see a Destiel reunion AND ADDRESSING CAS' GOODBYE (I wanna say here that at this point I have no idea how that would play out if it would be something like "Hey buddy, I don't feel that way but I don't wanna lose you" or a full on love confession from Dean... I have no idea and that's okay, because I know Jensen knows how important that confession was to a lot of us, so I trust him not to invalidate Cas' feelings). Now, I paid a little attention to the words he said about maybe seeing it: first, he said that hopefully we'll get to see that at some point, and later he said maybe we won't. This immediately jumped out to me and you know what my brain did? Let me tell you: Jensen said that he doesn't talk about possible project before they aren't under the wraps because he doesn't wanna jinx them. Now hear me out: first, he said maybe we'll get to see it. Then he backtracked. He's talked about a reboot/6-10 episode thing for forever now. He WANTS to come back. My tinhat is firmly in place when I say that I have no doubt he's working on it already, but it isn't greenlit yet (hence the backtrack later). The description was just too specific to be made up out of thin air. (Watch me regretting those words later because I'm just too hopeful.)

Third and last: Whatever that Cockles Panel was

Listen, I could scream about them forever, we all know what went down, the only thing I wanna point out is: When Jensen said "...which is funny because so do I" he looked flustered as hell, we all know that by now. What gets me is that Misha had basically no reaction to this (he looked down, but that's it). So, did they plan something like that? I don't know, I just think it's weird as hell to have no reaction to something like this, especially when it's your "best friend" and he says that in front of hundreds of people.

(Plus, a little side note: still not over how you can SEE Jensens brain working while he's nervously rubbing his thigh.)

I don't even wanna go into the lyrics they wrote together, I've talked about it during the first point already, but something I wanna add is that I loved jensens face journey as Misha first mentioned the brothers but then immediately jumped to "The Angel". That was hilarious and by God, Jensen was planning on throwing together something romantic.

I'm very much not fine as you can tell, but it feels like the universe has shifted after the non-existent finale and now it's our turn. I always try to keep my expectations low, but the album and this whole weekend catapulted me right into the sun, so now all I can see is light and stars and it's wonderful.

[masschase]

Here's my OTP playlist again with full explanations of each song.

Bitch with a Keyboard, Asshole With a Gun: Matt and Casey's Journey

There is mention of nsfw stuff but I've kept it pretty vague tbh.

Wicked Game (Chris Isaak): I used the original of this because I already have a HIM song on this playlist. Still considering switching to the Stone Sour version. I know it's probably a cliché choice. But I felt like I needed a starter if this was going to be a cohesive journey. From Matt's side this reflects the fact Casey both spared his life and saved him from the simulation first. For Casey it represents that moment a couple of weeks into being on the ship when they've just had sex and they're just joking around together. She looks into his eyes and as I've said before, she sees a dangerous potential there and realises they just can't do this again. She has important world-saving shit to do and she can't just go falling in love with anyone. So she rambles out the rule about not sleeping with anyone on the ship more than once, and she sticks to it when more of her friends come aboard. Thing is, once those months have passed, everyone's like oh yeah, we all had that one time with the Boss, and doesn't think much of it. Matt is probably the only one who still thinks about that rule a lot, for obvious reasons. He has no idea he's the reason it exists.

Secretly (Skunk Anansie): This is really representative of the kind of mid-portion of their friendship before romantic feelings develop. When Matt in particular is trying his best *not* to be attracted to her (by the way the scene with him and Johnny regarding this is one of my favourite things ever ever ever I love their bond) but Casey keeps absent-mindedly telling him shit about how much she'd like to be pinned to the bed by a dirty talking Austen hero type and that sort of thing. 😅 Also kind of works from the opposite perspective. Matt wants to be with Asha so really he should be steering clear of Casey but he just... doesn't manage to. Honestly when I said a while ago I worry I portray Matt as a bit of a dick, it's this sort of thing I mean 😅

Dreaming Of You (The Coral): This could be an innocent enough song but thanks to Scrubs I associate it heavily with sex, plus with the kind of tempo it has... I tie it together with the feverish results of the interactions I mentioned in connection with the previous song. I don't know what the correct term is for "a captain and lieutenant listening to each other erm.... enjoying themselves through a wall and getting encouraged by each others noises" other than "inappropriate".

Right Here In My Arms (HIM): I really associate HIM with Matt; I feel like he has a bigass heartagram belt buckle hidden somewhere in his old flat, haha. Anyway, this is their friendship a little later on. "So hard she's trying, But her heart won't turn to stone" is very very Casey and this whole song is representative of the way she keeps returning to him despite the fact it's inadvertently leading to her falling for him.

Surrender (Billy Talent): I've said before how much the second verse reminds me of them "Even though I know what I'm looking for, She's got a brick wall behind her door, I'd travel time and confess to her, But I'm afraid she'd shoot the messenger.". It's very representative of both when Matt gets to the pining, unrequited (ok not really) love stage with Casey as well as the whole time travel plot and how that plays out. Also I just want to talk about the line "She wonders why I'm always in a good mood" because like... I constantly think about Casey thinking "Matt's secretly such a sweet funny guy, I wonder why not everyone sees it?" and it's like... he's comfortable around you my dude. He's happy and can be himself. His socially awkward has stopped socially awkwarding and that's why he doesn't need that egotistical facade.

Gunslinger (Avenged Sevenfold): for that period of time they are really missing each other during my fic. It was playing when they were bonding in Camden a year previously and Pierce complains that Casey starts listening to it over and over when Matt is gone. The bit that captures her is "I won't question why so many have died, My prayers have made it through yeah, 'Cause with all these things we do, It don't matter when I'm coming home to you."

Demolition Lovers (My Chemical Romance): This could really be placed higher or lower but it mostly makes me think of if Matt and the younger Casey really did go and do some "Bonnie and Clyde sorta shit" or really did run away together after the party. But it also makes me think of any situation of them running off and dying together. Which happens more often than you'd think.

Gone Too Soon (Simple Plan): Pretty much this whole album (Get Your Heart On) reminds me of the thing between 2022 Matt and 2016 Casey, and the band has links to both of their teen years in my hc. But this is the song they dance to and it has heavy foreshadowing for the next couple of chapters.

Last Dance (The Cure): It plays right after the previous song but they don't get to dance to it in 2016. That's really supposed to symbolise that this is not the end for them. But it sums up so much of the way I see Casey waiting nervously the night they finally get together, and they dance to it that night too. I've said this before but a lot of The Cure songs remind me of them.

Undisclosed Desires (Muse): This to me is very representative of their sexual relationship but also of the fact that even before they are together Matt begins to see more to Casey than the typical perception of her.

Running (No Doubt): This song is so them to me. The fact it's No Doubt makes me think of Casey, the fact it sounds like chiptune makes me think of Matt. The fact they do make this agreement that for the sake of their survival they will run instead of fighting when needed. Matt's surprise that she chose him of all people. Casey's fear that she'll fuck this up somehow. But the fact that they have each other through it all. I'd say it's between this and Last Dance for 'their' song, but I feel like this is the one that they'd think of as their song.

Deathbeds (Bring Me The Horizon): OK, admittedly, I have a load of songs on the longer playlist that could go here (I Will Follow You Into The Dark, There Is A Light That Never Goes Out etc.). But I feel like this one is a really good representative of that feeling of "I strongly believe we might end up dying together but I'm still never going to leave you.".

House on the Hill (The Pretty Reckless): It's a little more sombre than it should be for how I picture their future/endgame but nonetheless a lot of it relates. The way it starts with "Somewhere in the end of all this hate" relating to how they first crossed paths. The fact that what Matt manages to pull off more or less allows them to settle down by hiding/fading away, at least for a while. I'll eventually do a long post on what that entails for those who haven't read my fic but suffice to say it links back to themes from the first game of Aisha's name persisting through her music but her fake death protecting her. Nonetheless, the Saints are going to be forever and the next generation will inevitably get dragged in which is where "Until they drink the wine and they will, they will" comes into it.

Always (Killswitch Engage): I just wanted to end on a more optimistic note and sum up that although they are never going to *quite* have a traditional happily ever after, they will always have each other. Their love is eternal.

❤💜💙

[arecaceae175]

For the pride month prompts, can you perhaps do Trans Skord Link and Zelda but they take eachother's names? (i.e Sklink transitioning and taking the name Zelda) /nf

I LOVE THIS IDEA here you go <3

Summary: Link and Zelda are transitioning and want to change their names. 745 words, fluff. Pronouns: Link: she/her, Zelda: he/they, Groose: he/him. :D

Link's leg bounced. She saw Groose eyeing it a few times, but his attention was split between her and Zelda. Zelda was chewing his lip and twirling his hair around a finger.

This was the perfect time; just the three of them with no distractions and nowhere they needed to be. This was it. She just had to say it out loud.

Link took a deep breath.

"I want to change my name!" "I want to change my name!"

Link blinked, shocked, as Zelda's voice echoed her own.

"What?" All three of them, that time.

"Wait, wait," Zelda said. He pointed to Link. "You first."

"Oh, I, uh. I want to change my name." Link's ears wiggled uncomfortably. She wasn't embarrassed, and she knew Groose and Zelda would support her no matter what, but this was uncharted territory for all them. It made her nervous, but she knew she could do anything with Zelda and Groose by her side.

Zelda's face broke out ingo a wide grin. "Me too! Oh, this makes it so much easier."

Link smiled, wiggling happily as she scooted closer to Zelda and Groose. Zelda didn't like holding hands, so Link settled for one hand holding Groose's and clenching the fabric of Zelda's dress.

"Okay. No problem," Groose said.

Despite not being trans himself, Groose had somehow become the expert in navigating Link and Zelda's gender journeys. In the months following the final battle with Demise, when Link could hardly leave her bed and Zelda refused to leave her side, they had plenty of time for introspection and reflection. Groose took everything in stride and expertly talked them through everything they were feeling. The whole experience brought them so much closer together.

"What names are you thinking?" Groose asked.

"I have no idea," Link said. "I've been uncomfortable with the name Link and its attachment to the- you know. Everything." Link waved a hand vaguely at the lightning scars that covered her arm.

"I want something more traditionally feminine, too, to match how I'm finally starting to look on the outside." Longer hair, more dresses and light, pastel colors, traditional female hair wraps, and makeup lessons from Groose. Link knew items and clothing and presentation didn't define gender-- Zelda and Groose were proof of that, after all-- but these things helped her feel connected to herself in a way she never had before.

"What about you?" Groose asked. Zelda bit his lip, glancing at Link from behind his curtain of long hair.

[firespirited]

Sis is not well again. I'm trying to be calm about it but we've built a pretty solid friendship. I miss her, I hate that I'm upsetting her.

About a week or two ago, I started noticing what felt like resentment. We really do enjoy spending time together but something was bothering her from time to time, she'd get snappy about little details.

I figured it was 'bitch eating crackers' syndrome, you spend a lot of time together you start to get irritated by the way they eat or tap their feet or leave windows open... You know? So I just stayed chill, took the blame for stuff that wasn't really my fault and kept asking if there's anything I can do.

Things got weirder: She got annoyed at my flat tone (seasonal depression and swollen tongue) several times so I used gestures a lot and offered to move conversation to text where I can use emojis and be more thoughtful about word choices. She'd get angry about me not using the zebra crossings as the visibility is better further up the road.

_______

Yesterday, it all came out in a disturbing conversation, it was very clinical, she gave me an ultimatum that I form multiple new habits right now. Household stuff she's been taking as a personal offence. Strange details but also oddly vague.

I couldn't promise anything other than to try and that wasn't good enough

I asked for some leniency, I'm terrible at forming habits: rewards, pain not even shame works. There would be mistakes as it takes me time to refine systems to force habits.

She said if "I truly cared I'd make multiple systems to remember, to not slip up". And I'm like "I regularly forget my meds and food with lists and arlams, can you maybe try and remember that it's never personal. I've proven that I care in so many ways, can you keep that in mind?"

There were odd phrasings and details that she was hyperfocusing on, she brought up the distant past like it was now. She wanted more than "I'll try my very best". She was angry that I was confused, like this was something we'd talked about many times before.

The whole thing was out of character but also matched the moments of resentment i'd been sensing building up.

Mum ruffled my hair as she left after witnessing the whole convo. There was something in that gesture. I mouthed that there's a much larger context to this. She gave me a knowing look.

We don't know what's happening or where sis is in her cptsd journey but right now she's holding grudges and getting very hurt by minor details that take on outsized emotional importance. Like not seeing the forest of support for a single tree.

I don't want to speculate. Whereas Mum's already deep into reading about caring for someone with BPD (or borderline like symptoms of CPTSD) - she researches to cope.

It's the uncertainty that's rough, we can be having a lovely day and then bam I've set off a firestorm then a few hours later she's fine and I'm still shaken. You can't reassure someone who's convinced that you meant to hurt them, she takes that as gaslighting. Hurt by leaving a dog coat in the wrong room, by wearing a new perfume she finds too strong, something we resolved twenty years ago?

I just hope it'll pass soon. I'm not going to stop being around her unless it escalates, I don't want to set off fear of abandonment either. We have an appointment tomorrow to see a dog behaviourist about Talia's fears since she got attacked by another dog. Want to be there for support.

Just got to guard my heart, force emotional distance so my *own* issues don't take over.

[duckapus]

So I've worked out what the two games from this post will be. Both of them are my own ideas.

Sally's Outstanding Adventure!

A point-and-click adventure game that starts out looking like a cute little edutainment game in a bright, cheerful nonsense world. The main cast consists of Sally herself, a little girl who enjoys exploring, Miss Morning, the game's narrator who Sally is able to hear and talk to, a large hairy creature with a surly disposition named Grumfrey who accompanies Sally on her adventures to keep her safe, and Scrub, a strange, vaguely ducklike-creature who stays in Sally's house. In the game, Sally goes out on her biggest adventure yet, heading out further than ever before. But as the journey goes on, strange things begin happening, and dark cracks begin to appear in the happy facade of this world.

As the game goes on, it's revealed in bits and pieces that almost everything Sally thinks she knows about her world, and herself, is wrong. She's actually Survey Android 13, a malfunctioning research drone deployed to study a hostile alien jungle, with the malfunction being the result of damage from an incident a few months ago, which horribly scrambled her programing and traumatized her to the point where she ran away from reality. Miss Morning is actually her base's computer, who developed the narrator persona so that they could relay instructions for Sally's research missions in a manner that could be understood and accepted through the delusion. Scrub is actually a floor cleaning device. Grumfrey turns out to be a massive, dangerous apex predator native to the jungle that happened to decide to use SA-13's base as its den. The big adventure they're on is a mission to find and rescue the crew of a ship that crashed nearby.

And yet, even with the reveal that her world is a lot darker than she thought it was, there's still plenty of light as well. The whole reason the illusion is breaking is because the scientists who deployed her finally managed to develop a patch that would fix her programing. It was supposed to do its work all in one go while she was in standby mode, and would have if it hadn't been for the rescue mission requiring she reactivate early. Morning gradually drops the narrator schtick as the game goes on, with their instructions becoming more direct and computer-like, but their tone stays just as kind and gentle as it was at the start, still giving little bits of encouragement when she stumbles and congratulating her on tasks well done, because they genuinely care for the little robot they're in charge of, to the point where during moments where Sally's in genuine danger they're as terrified as a parent seeing their child in such a situation. Scrub is...well, its honestly just a Space Roomba but that's really not too different from before. And despite how terrifying Grumfrey's true nature is, he really is Sally's big, grumpy, protective friend, and stays just as helpful in the second half of the game as he was in the first.

They do manage to rescue the survivors of the crash, and Sally ends up accepting her restored reality...though she does decide to keep her new name.

Diamind 6: Stars Go Out

A space-age JRPG about a young man named Cole going on an adventure to save his galaxy from two major threats; a multi-system empire that's attempting to expand their rule across the entire galaxy (with Cole actually being part of an official Resistance that formed to fend off this empire), and the titular Diamind, an ancient powerful demon that awakens every 10,000 years and attempts to bring about the apocalypse (all the Diamind games take place in the same universe, with Diamind being a major threat in all of them). Cole has a mysterious connection to Diamind that gives him unusual powers and marks him as the only person who can re-seal Diamind when it awakens.

One of the major reoccurring antagonists in the game is a scientist with a grudge against Cole and an interest-bordering-on-obsession with his Diamind powers. He betrays the resistance during the prologue, beginning Cole's adventure in the first place, and shows up periodically to cause trouble for the party. One of the most interesting things about him is that he actually does figure out how Cole's powers work, using that knowledge to create a robot with all of Cole's weapons and abilities, including a forced connection to Diamind so it could genuinely have all of his abilities. The party calls it RepliCole because it pisses the scientist off. It's a reoccurring boss throughout the game, until after the fifth or sixth time where the party manages to shut it down and take it back to resistance HQ.

This becomes relevant again about 3/4ths of the way through the game when Cole is mortally wounded and their best chance of saving him is to upload his mind into RepliCole. So now he's a robot, but there's no time for existential crises 'cause we got a galaxy to save!

Anyway, we've got typical JRPG climax stuff after that. Empire is toppled, demon is sealed, day is saved, Cole's still a robot. Roll Credits.

Anyway, as far as the activation attempt goes, I'm gonna have it so the games get merged together, with Sally's planet getting integrated into Cole's universe, and the Avatar programming gets split between them like it did with the Arles. 33 ends up as Sally's recolor while 34 ends up as Cole's, because the idea of the inherently violence-prone odd-number SMG getting the body of a tiny defenseless research drone while the can't-fight-to-save-their-life even-number SMG gets the extremely powerful and full of weapons jrpg protagonist body is funny to me.

[little-peril-stories]

2024

It's the time of year where many of us think about the future and what's to come. I don't really do New Year's resolutions, and I've never done a real list of goals before. But as I'm thinking about what 2024 will bring, I'm feeling for the first time the desire to lay out my goals - or, at the very least, create a to-do list.

It might be interesting to see how much I overestimated my ability to get stuff done next year. 😅

No pressure to read this, it's largely for myself!

The Queen of Lies

Continue posting semi-regularly. Given the way the first half of the school year has gone, I figure that's probably the best I can do.

Rewrite Act 3. I'm actually so excited for this, and it's all planned out! But it's still not written, even if a lot of the juicy dialogue is sandwiched between bullet points of what happens.

Edit it...eventually. Perhaps in the latter half of the year. Or perhaps that's a 2025 job. Who knows?

angsty heist wip

Reveal the title. Coming sooner than you think.

Post the WIP intro early. TPOT's came when it was about half posted, and TQOL's came only a day before Chapter 1. I think I'll mix it up for angsty heist wip. Nobody peek on my drafts and see how long the wip intro has been chilling there. 😅

FINISH WRITING THIS DAMN BOOK. It's just got to happen. I've hit 2/4 POV character's midpoints, and the delicious confrontation/finale still needs to be written. It's all the good stuff!

Figure out posting plans. It's not coming until TQOL is done, so this is a very vague and fluid goal.

Book 1

Review beta feedback thoroughly.

Make a concrete plan for what I actually want to change and what I don't.

Apply feedback.

Reread and edit for typos/little things.

Do a second beta round.

Start preparing query materials in earnest.

Book 2

lol. start it again? postpone to 2025? who knows. low priority.

The Prince of Thieves -- the journey to self-publishing

Okay, real talk: the list below is long. I've never done any of this before, so I have NO clue of what's realistic and what's not. Is all of this possible in the year 2024? Maybe not. Is that okay? It's gonna have to be! The point of it isn't to marry myself to this list or else I've FAILED, but to have a clear idea of what commonly needs to be done in order to self-publish a novel. If some of the stuff doesn't happen, well, so be it! I’m also quite aware that the list below is not exhaustive. There are probably a million things I haven’t thought of!!

DONE - ISBN account made and approved

DONE - decide on pen name. Finally!

Beta stuff! Send it off, wait for feedback, review feedback, and then apply it. I'm almost there.

Attempt cover design. I am 73% confident in my ability to do it well. With an artist AND a graphic designer/marketer in my family, I think I've got a team who can help me with the technical/Photoshop stuff.

Hire cover designer if failure. (Definitely a possibility.)

Decide on book format/interior design elements. Pretty confident I can do this myself. 96% sure.

Make an author website. For realsies. (aaahhhhhhhhh)

Increase social media presence. Try not to cry about the existence of TikTok. Try not to get in my own head about this. The truth is the thought kind of makes my skin crawl but I also understand how it is is pretty much a necessity.

Learn marketing and create a marketing plan. I got this. probably. maybe. ennnhhhh.

Consider character/scene art commissions. I am uncertain about this one. Finances will determine whether this happens or not.

Cry a lot and be okay with that. I think I'm going to struggle a lot with this whole process. And you know what? That's all right. I will learn a lot. And even if it's scary...well, that will make it all the more rewarding in the end. 💕