#for more freedom over less
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This is a prime example of control the message, control the narrative. I understand this took place in England but the Anti-gun left sees this and thinks "That just might work here too." This was a 14 hour stand off, police were held at bay by an freaking BB gun.
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This writing is 471 words long, it mentions it's an air rifle once, then the bait and switch happens. It is called a firearm's 6 times and a weapon twice. The evolution in the writing is the exact same evolution in the public that the anti-gun pro crime left do here every single day. Can you hurt someone with a BB/Pellet gun, sure, I have a lot of experience in being shot with them playing BB gun wars. Kids like me that had, I still have, the gold standard Daisy Powerline 880's were king. But, I also did not want to get shot those single pump Red Ryders more than once. Deaths from being shot by a BB gun are exceedingly rare, more rare than deaths by lighting strikes, 4 per year compared to 28 per year, but not a never incident. The incidents of dumbasses getting them shelves shot and killed by using a BB gun in place of a real gun in criminal activities is more often than one might think. The Air rifle in the photo looks to be a Moab Ventures, LLC Black Ops .22 Sniper. That rifle shoot a .22 pellet not the more common .177. Those .22 pellets can kill to be sure the 20 grain pellet at short range will do some damage clipping out of the barrel at 1250fps. But it's lethality is still very limited and no where near enough to stop an entry team with full body armor or this denim jackets, just saying. Compare that to the .22lr subsonic at 1050fps and your standard 22lr (40gr)coming out at 1070 fps, the Stinger (32gr) coming out at 1640fps, Mini MAG (40gr) and Mini MAG (36gr) coming out at 1235 fps and 1260fps respectively, or one I recently tried the Clean-22 Hyper Velocity (31gr) popping off at 1550 fps. Those .22LR's have greater accuracy and far less ballistic drop-off than the air rifle equivalent. (*Those numbers were all based on CII .22LR ammo.) Sorry, I went on a little comparison rant. The point is the anti-gun folks will find a way to sure this in a way that advances their attack in the everyday law abiding gun owner soon enough.
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blessings roll call! add on in the tags if you so wish <3
#new (to me) car! huge answer to prayer!#was lowkey so stressed about car issues I was actively losing sleep over it.#having a reliable comfy and relatively cheap car now is such a blessing#dad very generously emptied his CDs out of the cool 30-yr-old compact holder I've been coveting for years and gave it to me#so now I get to party like it's 2007 driving around with my CDs expertly contained and catalogued#got accepted into the OTA program I was applying for all through the summer!#so gotta set up classes for that#more good school news is I've already done all the the co-reqs for next semester's OTA classes#meaning I only have 2 classes + choir which I'll do for fun and thus can work more hours and also have time for an actual life#looking forward to a more restful semester#time with family and friends has been so precious lately#even though it's been scarce it's been lovely and joyful when it happens#looking forward to the holidays actually for the first time in years!#usually they're dreaded because of family drama but I think I can manage to find joy anyway#and also choose to spend less time or no time in or around the drama#looking forward to break. three more weeks of classes and then freedom for five glorious weeks.#looking forward to Advent especially!#also made soup today and it's so good#thankful for a good job and for getting along with my coworkers#and immensely thankful for books especially audiobooks without which I would not have survived this year#and for the Gospel of John. it's holding me together rn. struggling through some faith questions and some anger towards God#the last few months#but as long as I can stay in scripture...it still seems worth it.#blessings
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What's the Wardi cultural take on Akoshos sleeping with/partnering with/marrying other Akoshos?
It's not highly regulated to a degree that there are overwhelming cultural norms about it. There's a lot of societal focus on akoshos being theoretically suitable sexual partners for both men and women due to being dual-gendered, but not to an extent that relationships with One Another are stigmatized.
They also largely get to escape from the most severe concerns about penetrator/penetrated power dynamics because they're not regarded as Men (they're regarded as dual-gendered, and they're a female social class on every practical level), there's no status of manhood to Lose by receiving sexual penetration. The only real thing you see in that department is people assuming that one acts as 'the man' and one acts as 'the woman', but this is largely due to preoccupation with a notion of sex being Penetration With A Penis (and that Penetration With A Penis means that one person is in a Man's Role and one person is in a Woman's Role). But this will not be regarded as unnatural as in same-gender male relations, akoshos will Have to take up a position in this sexual dichotomy if they want to have Real Sex (Penetration With A Penis) with each other, and this is not unnatural and doesn't involve gaining or losing status since they are simultaneously male and female, not men.
So like you might see individual culture critics finding stuff to nitpick about it as their annoyance of the week or a singular Guy here or there who thinks it's weird, but this isn't a widespread norm. The vast majority of people don't give a shit about akoshos having sex with each other. The worst thing you're likely to experience Solely by virtue of being in an akoshos-akoshos relationship is someone asking you (probably with genuine curiosity) which one does the man stuff and which one does the woman stuff.
Akoshos also don't experience Hard expectations for marriage (though there are societal pressures that make marriage an attractive safety net all the same, ESPECIALLY marriage to a man) so unofficial life-partnerships between akoshos are pretty much the Only same gender partnerships between unwed people that are going to go unquestioned. ((Sworn brotherhood is technically a same gender life partnership for men that is Functionally similar to marriage (in that it's a kin-making practice between unrelated adults), but the tradition is Built upon the assumption that both parties will be married to women and that a primary goal of this kinship is to provide security for both parties' wives and children)). Marriage obligations in general are more lax in the economically secure but not Wealthy lower mercantile classes (as obligations to support and perpetuate one's family are universal, but these obligations can be filled simply by having at least One son who can get hitched, and marriages in the lower classes have no political functions and therefore there's less reason to ensure All your children are wed (there's still incentives like dowry, but this is not desperately needed when a family is economically secure)). So akoshos in this class group tend to have a Lot more freedom in terms of their life arrangements and chosen partners (though still experience the limiting frameworks of structural misogyny in other capacities).
The only thing that is out of the picture is akoshos/akoshos marriage. Marriage in this society has a predominantly reproductive function, the concept of reproductively non-viable marriages is generally considered absurd. This is not JUST this culture's form of homophobia, as marriage is a very practical arrangement at its core - both in a reproductive capacity and as bedrock for the patriarchal blood-kinship family system that forms the core social unit. The idea of same gender marriage isn't just absurd because 'ewwww weird' it's like, that Cannot work within this system, it Cannot fill core functions of what a marriage intends to do here, the ways on which marriage and kinship are BUILT makes same gender marriage practically (rather than just socially) untenable.
The sole exception to the 'marriage = reproductively viable" rule is that akoshos can be married to men (which in practice is almost always as a remarriage after a man has secured At Least an heir). This has a Little bit of internal logic here in that they perform predominantly female social roles (thus are suited to being a wife, even if they can't bear children) (and also on practical levels of them having the same legal status as women) but it's really more of a 'this is just how it's always been' kind of thing. A lot of the older pre-Wardi identity dual-gender roles that got mashed together under the 'akoshos' name would have involved marriage to a man as a second wife/concubine, in addition to his primary wife who would bear his children. Men potentially having multiple spouses has not been retained as a cultural practice, but the notion that an akoshos Can be a wife to a man has survived into modern day legal and doctrinal practices around marriage.
So like this being said, marriage as it is legally defined is only between a man and a woman, a man and an akoshos, or a woman and an akoshos. In practice the latter two are comparatively VERY rare- a man/akoshos marriage cannot provide children (though an akoshos can practically fulfill all other obligations and duties of a wife), a woman/akoshos marriage Can provide children (and while akoshos cannot function as a male heir, these children Will take their akoshos-parent's family name (though the wife retains her father's family name)), but akoshos are legally grouped with women in terms of rights and privileges (including being permanently under legal domain of their father unless they have been legally handed off to a male husband) and Cannot provide hard power patriarchal support that this family system is built upon and therefore depends upon, which makes these marriages socio-economically insecure. They can obviously still be a good partner and parent, but this is not the same as having the Legal hard power of a patriarch.
Akoshos marrying each other would be reproductively and socially nonviable, and is treated as a similarly absurd concept to a man marrying a man or a woman marrying a woman. It's just not a part of the marriage and kinship framework, it's not a thing that you can Do.
#Akoshos are also probably like.... 1-2% of the population. Like its an Accepted gendered space but not a large one so it's less#'managed' in a lot of senses#It's actually kind of hard to 'access' the akoshos space to begin with. Like parents look for Signs In Early Childhood and most#akoshos are typically assigned their gender early.#If you don't manage to access this space there's a good chance of being Stuck as a man with any deviance from your expected#gender roles being the HIGHLY unaccepted 'male effeminacy' which is a VERY different concept than (though obviously has tensions With)#being akoshos. A lot of akoshos self-label as adults after losing support from their families in part for being '''effeminate men'''#(this is also kind of the only instance in which gender self-identification occurs on a basis that will be Broadly accepted. Though#this happens in the context of already being detached from one's familial support network and people not knowing you self-assigned)#There are also certainly Some cases where akoshos self-identify as adults and this is accepted by their fathers. For a variety#of reasons but unfortunately often it's going to be like-#'we must have missed something but whatever. glad our kid is actually supposed to be this way and isn't just effeminate'#Also much less likely to be accepted if they're an expected male heir without brothers to take up the role in their stead#And VERY unlikely in upper classes where family members are public figures. If you've been introduced as a man here you're probably#out of luck.#(Like you'll see accusations that adult-assigned akoshos are just pretending in order to disguise being male effeminates)#This position isn't freedom from gender norms or like. The equivalent of an accepted trans identity. It's its own assigned gender#space in an Expanded but strict binary with expanded but strict roles#Also the societal trends over centuries are showing signs of increasing collapse between the notions of 'effeminate man' (bad)#and 'akoshos' (normal). At this point the concepts are still very separate but the current societal trajectory is leaning towards the#akoshos role being phased out of its normalization (in tandem with Wardi culture becoming more intensely patriarchal with#the collapse of Wardi groups into one identity)#Like 600 years ago there was NOT a concept of 'effeminate man' and proto-akoshos roles were a#more central concept that enveloped divergences from expected masculinity. Whereas now the akoshos space is significantly narrower#and the concept of 'effeminate man' exists in tandem as a stigmatized descriptor. And things have gotten to the point of#people claiming that ''effeminate men'' will 'pretend' to be akoshos#The akoshos identity becoming stigmatized/phased out isn't inevitable but the tensions around it are definitely growing#Though there's also a sense that Peak Patriarchy has been hit and you're starting to see people pushing back at these norms in fairly#notable ways. There's not going to be like. A feminist revolution but civilian women getting more political freedoms (while the overall#context stays patriarchal) is a likely outcome which could also have side benefits of relaxing masculinity standards Somewhat
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if any of my american friends see this, I understand what you're going through and I care you
but jesus fucking christ is it annoying to watch every social media feed just. flooded with doomerism and whining... I know this is just a sub product of american global influence as a whole but it's just frustrating and tiring to have to be invested in one single country's politics cause they're gonna bite everyone's ass. this behavior isn't unique either, this happens after any election, it's just when it's other countries they do that in their segregated "side of the internet" and americans are the whole internet so that's literally all everyone is seeing right now
and I don't wanna say this, cause I get the panic, I really do, been there done there but guys.... you're not special. your fascistic government didn't become suddenly fascistic overnight and it certainly isn't a Unique brand of evil, it's as conservative as the rest of the world's major powers right now! you just didn't care about that as long as you had the illusion of personal safety. congrats! it's gone now. welcome to the real world, oh Regular White American who just suddenly realized they don't have as much say in the order of things as they thought they had! ! you're gonna be fiiiine. you're gonna be fucked over but you're gonna survive just like the rest of the world being fucked over by your stupid government (except for the people it had and continues to kill, obviously)
fuck, this sounds really evil and mean and everyone and their mother are already at each other's throats but ghrrrrrhh I just need to get this frustration out somewhere
#vent#i guess#there's also an even meaner part of me rn that's laughing and screaming 'oh you get it now? you finally get how it feels to be powerless#against an overwhelming conservative majority choosing your fate for you???'#welcome to the fucking club buckos!!#please i hope the people I'm talking about just scroll by#but I'm over here consoling people like 'hey dude the politics sucks even more where i live and I'm fine you're gonna be fine too'#and get hit with 'yeah it helps to hear about places that suck it makes me feel like theres hope for me v.v' like dude.#you thought usa was paradise where nothing could go wrong or smth???#or that any other place on earth with less personal freedom is inherently unlivable and can only be thought of as 'thank god I'm not there'#i get the sentiment. i really do but man being on the other end of 'glad I'm not *there*' is so fucking othering#and I'm not even from anywhere in the global south not even from places it's past personal freedom and straight into being KILLED#and it's not like I'm exempt from this sort of behavior either but MAN..... not even talking about how palestinians are treated rn#cause this has been called out ad nauseam by people way more well-worded than me#this was supposed to be a vent post or smth? i lost my track of thought. gonna hit post and go offline and delete this later
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man the thing about beauty standards and being ugly and being pretty and being insecure is that ultimately you do just kinda have to Decide that youre pretty. like ultimately thats how you become pretty, or hot, or sexy. you have to just Decide that you Are. you have to recognize that its made up, its arbitrary, its subjective, and that people might disagree with you about it, and as much as you are able, you need to completely and utterly disregard their opinions on your appearance, and decide that youre pretty now. and THEN.
you need to find beauty in "ugly". you need to recognize that ugly is made up, that its arbitrary, that its subjective, and you need to be able to find the beauty in it all. and this means you cant bodyshame people. you cant body shame shitty celebs or politicians. you need to base your criticisms on the substance of their character and misdeeds and unhinged horrific opinions and not give a shit about what they look like. you cant go calling people ugly for being shitty. you cant go calling people ugly for looking A Way You Dont Like.
and then if you wanna really galaxy brain this shit you start using ugly as endearment. OBVIOUSLY do not fucking call other human beings ugly. that shit is far too loaded, its just Rude. Dont call specific features of people or even characters ugly cos thats also too loaded. as a term it has baggage. but you can see the ugly in tacky, loud, garish clothing, and it can be Good. you can see the ugly in a distinctive, horrible tiny car from the 90s, and it can be good. you can see the ugly in animals that have evolved to look the way they do, without a single thought of what humans find appealing. you can see the beauty and the freedom in "Ugliness". you can break out of this shit altogether and feel nothing but disdain for anyone who stoops to insulting your appearance if they disagree with you about shit. you can get completely out of the cave of these beauty standards. you can find it so freeing to revel.in letting yourself be ugly. in recognizing that the way you look and exist might be ugly to some people, and youre out of the cave enough to simply recognize. thats just your opinion and it doesnt matter. didnt ask.
you can look at ppl arguing about the correct amount of skincare products to use daily, the Correct Amount of makeup, and whether or not its radical to conform to beauty standards or defy them and argue about is it really conforming if visible makeup pisses men off, and you can say, well I dont care about any of that, I recognize the societal pressures of flawless skin and all that but you see,
I just want to look like a silly little clown :o3
#toy txt post#i wasnt gonna end this on that silly note. but then i had to#ugly#pretty#beauty standards#not saying its easy. not saying you have to do this#but like if youre tired of feeling insecure about your face your fashion. you gotta just figure out what you like and lean in#and you gotra recognize this shit is made up and subjective and arbitrary and you shouldnt be doing it for anyone else ever#i used to be insecure about a few features of mine that i feared made me Ugly. and then i Decided to try to find it pretty.#it sounds so stupid and made up but like literally i just. Decided. im pretty now. this is pretty. this shit is made up. why am i listening#to you. you dont know shit. im pretty now. AND THEN i decided. actually. im ugly on purpose now but not in a way that has much to do with#my actual appearance so much as my complete disregard for your opinion on my appearance. you gotta do it for you. you gotta dress for#yourself#ANYWAY#before anyone comes in with how beauty standards are often externally enforced via peer and social pressure:#yea bud im a human being on planet earth. im aware. thats why i said: as much as you are able. i recognize i have a number of privileges in#this regard that not everyone does. the way im given more space and freedom to dress like a little freak as a thin white person etc#but like i still had and have societal pressure to shave my legs and underarms to conform. theres societal and peer pressure to wear makeup#and i just. dont. the legs thing is less noticeable tho ill admit cos i also Hate Shorts but thats a whole complicated can of worms#which also involves i am not exposing myself to ticks like that are u insane#anyway. yea. the other magical thing about this philosophy of mine is that you also just dont have to. like you can just Ignore Me.#you can keep doing what youre doing and thats fine too#but genuinely if you struggle with insecurity about appearance you gotta just. this is the fake it til u make it shit#i decided im pretty now and it got easier to take selfies bc i was pretty then#doing art and exploring different faces for ocs and making them look different from the conventional beauty standards. also helped#and like dont get me wrong theres still shit im vain about appearance wise that doesnt matter. i still like to style my hair before i leave#the house etc. im still looking in the cave sometimes#but perhaps one day i will be as blissfully uncaring about ppls perception of me as a fuckin goby#anyway. anyway anyway anyway#if you do this things get so much easier. but you dont have to. i have no power over you
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juist submitted my last final project for the semester
#trousled dumb#its only now hitting me that this image is probably more widely used for expressions of anguish and despair#idc tho. to me this is an image of rabid freedom. like sometimes you just gotta rip that shit off and yell really loud and its good#anyway . can somebody tell me who decided final projects are Less Stressful than normal ass exams so that i can kill them with hammers#if i have to write one more essay its all over i will drop out im so . look fellas i wrote 7 essays this semester and i missed four#thats more than my roommate had assigned as a fucking creative writing major. i never want to see words again#just give me a fucking bubble sheet man im begging you i dont want to write 20000 more words about whastever the hell#sigh. im glad to be done with this semester can you tell#anyway im gonna rest a bit still andd hopefully get back to ebonyposting soon 😌 since i have TIME NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!
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no one tells you graduating early will genuinely fuck with ur mind, like i feel so much more mature than a lot of my friends still in high school and everyone tells me im so mature but at the same time im so much younger than other high school graduates or college students so im also so much less mature than my "peers". im just stuck in a place where i feel so adult but still feel like such a kid.
#im a literal college student but im also still under my parents care for a little over a year#i have so much more freedom than people my age but so much less than other graduates#idk what to do lol#me
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returning to an ancient payday guy idea. circus lion mask. cheery veneer over a lifetime of familial abuse + exploitation that ended in extreme violence
#guy who had his dependence on his family held over his head + used as justification for awful shit who first resorts to small time--#--robberies to provide money due to his inability to hold a bog standard job. once entirely separated from them he starts targeting--#--art museums and such instead despite many disadvantages to doing so as a lone wolf (inability to fence them w/o connections. less--#--resources to case joints. more strict security w tools incapable of keeping up. etc) bc hes Completely caught up in this newfound--#-freedom and has very little idea how to function entirely independently. does not get better when he gets taken on by the payday gang#cannot remember his old name. lionel is far too on the nose but its the first thing that comes to mind lol
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rambling about the tdd manga because i can lol:
the entire thing sure did reinforce how convoluted chuuoku’s schemes are lol all that just to test run and create the drbs bruh 😭😭😭
the line at the end where ichijiku and otome are discussing how much more poignant the battles are because they brought them together and then forced them to fight is all sorts of fcked up y’all 😭😭😭😭😭😭
anyway from the beginning lol the mic otome uses is a different mic from even just the next chapter, i wonder if it’s just an non-finalized design or an early iteration of the mic???? like rio has a prototype mic and this is not that lmao. aaaaah but rio’s might be military grade prototype and otome has the version rei presumably finalised on his own???? a different version altogether???? hmmm 🤔
nemu is 16 in that first chapter and ichiro is 17 which would mean all the territory disputes, fixes, and mozuku’s plot to usurp mcd took place in a week lol hypmic’s timeline is SHAKY
(the official timeline helps this a little actually lol)
(maybe)
kuukou, swinging red flags from the beginning making fun of ichiro’s mom lol, also fcked around making fun of samatoki’s dead father and found tf out lmao
kuukou is an entire menace in the tdd manga i see why i had a hard time telling myself not to like him when he first showed up lmao
that theory kuukou might have some sort of brain damage wound up slightly reinforced when kuukou remembered sasara reused an old joke when he seemed to have forgotten that sasara is not funny by the time they reunited lmao he has a great memory in the tdd manga
(that joke sasara reused was only in samatoki’s presence too so kuukou also broke some sort of dimensional wall lmao)
speaking of sasara!!!!!!
ikeBOOBkuro????? really????? and then he had that dumbshit d🍆ck joke he made in dod the clowns DO NOT have rights!!!!!!!!!!
lol tho every time i read these early chapters with sasara, aramaki-san’s track 3 sasara always comes to mind lol like mcd sasara was intimidating actually that’s exactly why track 3 sasara is like that 😭😭😭😭😭😭
hmmmm are the special forces or whatever that tried to hijack the hospital jakurai worked at the same as rio’s special forces???? i’ll have to keep that in mind reading bbmtc manga lol
I STILL BELIEVE JAKURAIS WAVE TECHNIQUE WAS THE VERY FIRST ITERATION OF THE HYPNOSIS MIC TECH
still a little pissed mcd vs nb was the first drb in structure and symbolism (forced conflict created by a higher ruling power used to gain/reinforce power by said higher power and wound up entertaining the masses) and yet sasara and kuukou were booted out of the narrative like that
there was a moment where i Almost Almost considered that ramuda had started to consider bringing sasara and kuukou into his plans in chapter 11 based on how pissed he looked after ichijiku told him they brainwashed them. it’s more likely that ramuda’s mad another ‘him’ died more than anything but it’s nice to consider lol
the terrorist scene where nemu and the baby yamada bros got kidnapped is still insane btw
iconic samajuto first(?) meeting lol lemme just handcuff myself to this man who is already listening to me said juto lmao
NEMUS NERVES OF STEEL FR AN OLD MAN THREATENS BODILY HARM TO HER BUT LITERALLY NOBODY IS SCARIER TO HER THAN HER FATHER SO SHE NEVER FLINCHED
JIROS FIRST BETRAYAL ITS NO WONDER HE STARTED ADOPTING SOME OF ICHIROS SELF PRESERVATION LESSONS
THE FACT SABURO BLOCKED NEMU OUT FROM HIS MEMORY SO LIKELY THIS ENTIRE KIDNAPPING????? PLS PROTECT THE CHILDREN HE HAS PTSD YALL AT 11
and what was UP with that orphanage director in the first place???? who do you choose: money grubbing, child labour exploiting for hoes orphanage director or murderous, gets off on torture and sells children for their superiority complex orphanage director
like WTF????
(also: that extra bb tdd chapter is fcked up too you know mozuku only told ichiro about that first director wasting funds because he wanted to replace him with his associate 🤬)
the face nemu makes when samatoki starts kicking her kidnappers while they’re down help 😭😭😭😭😭😭
in the final tdd bonus, they adapted jakurai’s story he told to dohifu during their championship celebration and used that story to show jakurai had already been slowly awakening his ability. so i think it’s incredible smic didn’t suffer from hearing loss after slamming sticks into their eardrums lol maybe that’s where sensei’s ability started forming
kuukou in chapter 9: man check out all these cute girls!!!! 😁
kuukou in the nb drama track: why tf would you pay to talk to women????
(very unrelated instances lol but hilarious out of context tho)
kuukou and sasara going home in the same direction gave them time to talk and get to know each other and i wanna know what their conversations were about soooooo bad bro 😭😭😭😭
mcd/nb break up Did Not Happen I Do Not See It 😑
that moment where samatoki tells nemu ichiro’s kindness is his weakness because he saw ichiro’s breakdown over kuukou leaving him is— it’s kinda— 😭😭😭😭😭😭
yotsutsuji is an unsung mvp in this manga lol look at all the legwork he put in managing territories and finding intel
tdd was the group ramuda made and it was the group he made for himself but it was never his in the first place 😕
but if yotsutsuji never found out ramuda’s secret, or here; if yotsutsuji didn’t manage to send jakurai an email about it, idk if rmjk would have separated???? like what was the plan for jakurai??? ramuda said jakurai was his nirvana so i guess until chuuoku forced it, kp likely would have stayed together huh?? 🤔
ramuda: chuuoku kidnapped your brothers ichiro!!!!!
ichiro: AGAIN?????
me: damn took the words right out of my mouth lmao
samatoki’s beef with ichiro came from the lies they had nemu tell samatoki but like,,,,,,,,,,,, i kinda wanna know how the damage would have shaped if nemu hadn’t been brainwashed and went on her own will,,,,,,,,,,,
like ichiro admitted he likely would have done the same thing as samatoki but that hurt and betrayal at that moment……..????? well ig it’d go the same way in the end lol
chapter 9 had a conversation with rei and otome where rei praises her son for having balls lol so dice was on the run by 18 and making a name for himself lol i need to keep that in mind for a certain few chapters in both fpmtr runs
i thought it was interesting the battle that brought japan under tdd took place in osaka lol
also came out of this experience wondering once again when did ichiro get his hypnosis ability lol like ramuda already had his jakurai’s developed throughout the story, as did samatoki’s on the dl, but ichiro????
also came out of this very concerned for what this story has in store for nemu again lol like the way rhyme anima put focus on what she could possibly do as well as the end of this manga having otome and ichijiku musing her ability and skill might rival ichijiku’s 🤔
ooooooh and that kp bonus chapter!!!!!! ramuda had jakurai suffering under that waterfall lol like he was about to contract hypothermia after a little bit and ramuda ‘reasons’ it’s good training for taking hits without being knocked out SO YOU KNOW WHO REGULARLY TRAINS UNDER WATERFALLS FOR HOURS AT A TIME WITH A FOCUS BASED ABILITY HARAI KUUKOU—
#this is vee speaking#it was a fun time lol always is#samatoki and ichiro’s relationship in those first few chapters cracks me up the same way rio and saburo’s rhyme anima relationship does lol#like both instances rio and samatoki just lay down the law with a smack down and stand up and go ‘here’s some more tools for your success’#smack down be damned lmao#kinda cried over the nb/mcd break up that didn’t happen this read thru lol#it was just the little things that subtly drove home how important kuukou was to ichiro 😭😭😭#like that face off with nb&mcd vs mozuku was a fight for ichiro’s freedom like no wonder that hug was Like That kuukou was happy for him#ichiro was glad he was there 😭😭😭😭😭😭 and ichiro was glad kuukou’s steady presence was staying right by him IM WEAK#nemu was such a good big sister figure to jiro and saburo i’m sad nemu didn’t get to befriend the yamadas like she wanted to 😭😭😭#ik ichiro crying over kuukou was a bit of a reset for samatoki but if anything that should show just how much ichiro would treasure nemu#don’t fight nemu and ichiro getting close samatoki y’all are meant to be one big happy family lmao#and i am not getting over saburo blocking her from memory saburo is not okay!!!!! he’s not!!!!!!#i should analyse saburo’s ability for what it pertains to himself like its name is ‘delete’ and here’s saburo deleting his memories like 😭😭#anyway plenty more to think about which was the point of this reread lmao#canon’s starting back up in less than two months now’s a good time for it actually 🤔#c: rapping boys
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I have an insatiable desire to beat up Jamil’s parents again
#Jamil's backstory always gets me heated over how genuinely messed up every adult in Jamil's life is#ESPECIALLY his parents#Literally made their child incapable of speaking his mind#gave him NO SUPPORT#because they chose the asims over their kids#I don't doubt their fear of punishment and losing their jobs is real#they probably experienced terrible stuff in their past#but holy fuck instructing their son to self-sabotage and hitting him for even speaking his mind#Listen man I know I wrote the parents with more depth that they deserve in my fic but as of their less developed game selves?#im going right for the jugular#Jamil and Najma deserve better#(tho thankfully it seems Najma has more freedom to do more and Jamil is just stuck)
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feel like i would like 2 try writing some kind of short story or something over the summer for. funsies reasons...they have always seemed so daunting 2 me but i think it for the sake of having fun with stringing sentences together it would be fun to try even if its bad and i use it as compost instead or something. this is a thing i should say when ive finished my fucking essay maybe perhaps
#writing it alongside the ***** ** obviously which i do intend to turn real attention 2 for the first time once the uni year is over but. i#have read a few short story collections i feel like maybe it is something that could suit the way i write (<- plotlessly)#they made short story writing seem less intimidating like the way i used to think short stories needed to be structured and what they need#to provide…there is actually maybe a lot more freedom and less pressure to them than i first thought :^)#that or flash fiction im not entirely sure of the difference. substack looks fun also#(ridi's) bigmouth strikes again
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theres like, two levels of “playersexual”.
the first is the authors making all the romance options bi, which. like technically it can often stem from the same mechanical reasoning as “true” playersexuality (omfg im gatekeeping?????), that its easier, more efficient, or more equitable to just have all the options available to any character setup. in that sense theyre absolutely taxonomically related, but from a semantic and ethical point of view it seems kinda dogshit to reduce textually bi (one way or another, theres a lotta ways to do that) people to a mere practical development choice? like dude i think that characters just bisexual its kinda fucking wierd to frame his ability to be attracted to [character in context thats not the pc’s gender] and also romance the player character as some sort of “lazy writing shortcut”.
the second is far more nebulous as it exists more in what is LACKING than what is there. the anomalous ‘real’ “oh actually this was just a studio being either programming/writing lazy or like. genuinely just bizzare on a spiritual level”. skyrim romance is roughly egalitarian in implementation but there is effectively 0 external queers aside from two dead guys on an island and Possibly this one vampire from the morthal quest who seems like shes grooming a child? its a world absent of same-gender relationships but incapable of recognizing the player as anything extraordinary in that respect. romanceable npcs showing attraction to other npcs is rare in general, even, though going back over it in my head my initial presumption of it being completely absent is verifiably false. i think. ANYWAYS this theoretically would also include characters whose textual sexuality CHANGES to match the player character, which -discounting allowances for potential watsonian mischaracterization (i.e. a character being labeled gay by an unreliable commentator in a save in which they end up in a same-gender relationship, and other such things) can show up in really weird ways like ok in stardew valley i’m not actually saying Leah’s ORIENTATION necessarily changes but her ex’s gender specifically changing to match the player is SO FUCKING WIERD WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. LIKE WHAT IS THAT EVEN IMPLYING?! WHUH?!!?
#ITD MAKE SO MUCH MORE SENSE IF THAT PRICK WAS ALWAYS A MAN#LIKE EVEN ASIDE FROM THE ‘BEING A CONSERVATIV-Y BASTARD’ LOOKING FUCKING *ODD* ON THIS SAPPHIC LADY#WHO’D. NOTICE.#IT TAKES ACTIVELY LESS EFFORT#INSTEAD LEAH USED TO DATE LESBIAN BEN SHAPIRO ITS. SO JARRING ITS OK FOR HER PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP TO BE WITH A DUDE THATS FINE#oh also theres monika. shes the third type i guess. shes just completely literal about it#<- i actually don’t agree with that tbh i think framing her love for the player as wholly in-line with any practical means of attraction#defeats some of the point of the story. the affection is parasocial to a saddening extent#unable to see into ‘true’ reality shes instead left trying to chase the shadow of ‘the player’ on the wall of the cave#aware of its falsehood but unable to reach any farther past that fourth wall#in the wake of her realization she’s bound to concede any ‘fictional’ preconceptions of attraction just as she abandoned her preconceptions#of her friends. as people. its all just fluff. set dressing. in the way of her TRUE love. her REAL love.#an ultimate reality that supercedes any mere program or line of text that isn’t aware of it#all this despite her actual -both fictional and practical- inability to REALLY interact with reality on reality’s terms#alienated from her own fictitious existence to the point of manipulating it and abusing it in the style of a ‘real’ author#but still left incapable of actually accessing the agency freedom senses indignities and mortality of REALITY#….. SORRY IM A BIT FUCKED UP OVER DOKI DOKI LITERATURE CLUB STILL I UH. HAVE SOME FEELINGS. THERE.
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the weight of everything bad in my life has decided to crush me on this nice night
#the bin#its raining and windy and liek just a bit TOO windy to be a good breeze but not so windy that its super unpeasent#just windy enough to make me feel more alive in this weird headspace im stuck inside.#i want to get better. i wanna make friends. i need to have control over my own life#taking everything i have not to cut all my hair off right now#im so close to having a mental breakdown man. i just wanna have a car and live alone and feel like a have actual freedom#i think having a job wpuodnt feel so bad if i actually felt the the time i wasnt working was mine but i dont#i dont know why im having such a hard time today. i havent felt this bad in quite awhile or even like ever tbh#i dont know. i want to make frineds but even that sounds unappealing if it means ill have even less free time to myself#at the same time tho i wanna party. i am a party bitch at heart. but alas i was stuck in the middle of the woods with no contact with#other people for 7 years so. and ofc most places are 21+ so its hard. i want to be able to just go somewhere on a whim but noooo#well. my life will find joy again one day. i hope i can get one if these jobs and be less miserable.
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love how everyone on this website is like "the justice system's broken!" but they mean like, the US justice system. which is not a system that half of the userbase here actually live under
#lol just made an nz specific justice system tag that if i elaborated on i might get absolutely reamed for#but like the nz system is fucked in the opposite direction#there's no jail time and discounts are handed out freely but like there's a severe lack of rehabilitative measures#precisely because the rationale has been taken by judges to the extreme to hand out disproportionately light sentences#but because of that the supports aren't there and the opportunity for rehabilitation is actually more limited.#plus there is a lack of consequences and greater freedom for repeat offenders who would otherwise be more limited or removed from society#and it's used as an excuse to cost-cut and invest less into prisons/remand rehabilitative facilities#like our reformative justice system can be actually pretty good for people with ID/under IQ threshold for mens rea in terms of reform.#it's an example of something that works well and has good results#but the system as the whole is being screwed over by people who say “rehabilitation not punishment” doesn't mean removing all punishment#just for the sake of doing so#because in our current system prisons are still needed for rehabilitation#and if you want change you have to like actually reform the prisons too instead of releasing everyone on home detention#random vent not tagging this with anything
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my take on starscream and windblade is i genuinely think their dynamic by the end of the series rocks. when starscream is incredibly fond of her and respexts her and sees her as not only an incredibly capable leader but a fundementally good and better person. and windblade is like 😬 starscream? well shes dead now so we never ever have to unpack all that. so uh. lets move on.
#SHE DOESNT FUCKING LIKE HER.#like i think if stsc had lived windblades general opinion wouldve been girl im proud of you and your#growth or whatever but like can you retire or something. stay away from me.#like i think wb meant it when she said she wanted stsc to get better and believed she could. but i dont think theyre ever going to be#friends. im of the opinion that death + the haunting is the best ending for starscream#and that its really the only environment for her that is conducive to fully truly healing and being at peace#like idk i think she was miserable and there would be no future in which people let her 'escape punishment' nor one where shes interested#in doing that even with bee and windblade in her corner. and i just idk#i think she needs space to be alone out from the public eye#and away from all the pressures that kept her spiraling over and over her whole life#and i just. the way exrid was set up i just dont think there was room for her to do that on cybertron#but i dont think shes healthy enough to realize that and leave#and i think 'noble sacrifice that returns her dignity and gives her comfort'#and 'true freedom to be herself no more and no less with the company of someone who actually likes and cares about her with no#responsibility or risk to her physical or mental health'#is like. really the best of both worlds i think it was good for her.#fix its where she gets brought back are cute and all but honestly i dont know. would she even want that. it would change everything#when shes finally for once comfortable and at peace#yk sometimes death is a GOOD THING IN NARRATIVES and she DIDNT EVEN REALLY ALL THE WAY DIE so like i thibk its fine.#i miss her tho. god i miss idw.
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oh, to be able to accurately capture how a song makes u feel into an artform for others to experience in the same way as a means of deeper transformation connection and understanding
#and a “this is how I perceive this— can you feel it too? can you understand it at all? can you appreciate it even if you don’t?”#except “how it makes u feel” is far less standard emotional “feeling” and far more like#oh this one feels like walking along the road you know well from where you grew up except the sun is setting so everything’s bathed in a#shifting gradient of sunlight fading from pink to oranges to pinky purples to deeper purpley blues. in a way that feels and looks surreal#yk when sunset light just completely changes how everything looks and feels?#so. bathed in that sunset light and surrounded by tiny floating soft silvery glowing flecks that are almost drawn to you but float further#away when you reach out your hand to touch them#the ones you do touch turn more golden and have the texture of. soft silky dust. like flour or tile dust. and they feel cool at first but#warm very quickly#and you’re walking down that street you know so well (for better or worse) but you’re older now. you’re You now#and you can see the world and the people around and there’s things happening. but you’re unaffected by it all you’re just walking#“there is freedom within— there is freedom without / try to catch the deluge in a paper cup”#and it doesn’t feel bad. just a calm sense of disconnect and. relief? and a path. doesn’t matter what’s happening around you#“there’s a battle ahead— many battles are lost / but you’ll never see the end of the road while you’re travelling with me”#you’re just walking through it all#“and I’m counting the steps to the door of your heart”#I’m sure this is an incredibly common and normal experience#especially given this is very different experience to my intentionally curated brainmovies and music videos I make in my head (normal)#this is just a This Is How It’s Always Felt From When I First Heard It#it’s developed with listening again and again over time but the feelings and the core are the same#anyway#I need to go to bed#mercury moments#if anyone reads all this babbling this specific example is sarah blaskos cover of dont dream it’s over#just so u know#free to rb the post if u want#shrug. maybe I just feel things too much and. too deeply and too specifically sometimes#iunno
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