#for me. arghhh
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hateeeee having to rely on my mum to do everything for me still at the moment T_T feel so so soooo guilty having to ask her to help me wash and to change my dressings and to bring me meals every day and i am dreading so so soooo much having to go back to a&e at the weekend to get the stitches because the fact that i am going to be making her sit there for most likely 5+ hours when i know she despises waiting fills me with such self disgust T_T
#its GETTING TO ME i want to cry lol#was manageable for a couple of days but now its been 2 weeks of this asking for help with even small things makes me want to rip my own#skin off#my mum WILL make her frustration and impatience obvious while were waiting at a&e and i WILL be desperately trying not to cry about it#honestly i should be dreading going because of the actual stitches and waiting myself but it is so greatly overshadowed by my guilt#would go on my own but i know she wouldnt want that or let me either#desperately want to be cared for and looked after vs immeasurable guilt and self hatred for making people spend their time and effort caring#for me. arghhh#on the same note i really want to change my bedsheets but i cant bring myself to ask her :')) my older sister is coming home for a few day#tomorrow so i might ask her actually#god i hate taking up space having any impact on peoples lives makes me convinced i dont deserve to exist lol
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masters of earth
#ninjago#lego ninjago#cole brookstone#cole ninjago#ninjago cole#lilly brookstone#ninjago lilly#lilly ninjago#guess who read quest for lost powers and died#coles story had me in TEARS ugh i love the brookstones#and lilly is just the best ARGHHH#RAGHHHHH COLE#this is another half rendered sketch#dont look to close youll see all the mistakes#OH AND BTW lilly is crying in reference to what happened in qflp#read the book guys it’s so good#aphid artisms
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her smile is gonna be the death of me HER DIMPLEEEE
#she’s so cutie patootie#she does no wrong#someone sedate me ARGHHH SHES SO ADORABLE#ellie tlou2#ellie williams#ellie williams the last of us#ellie williams x reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#ellie x you#ellie tlou#ellie smut#ellie williams smut#ellie the last of us
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reposting some old doodles i still enjoy a bit
#a doodley#guys im having realizations i dont really know what to do with#ive said this tons before but my main issue with art rn is like#i Know anatomy. and what it's Meant to look like. my issue is straying away from Correct and going with Good like how some of my stuff was#before i really started learning. loose and not restricted#but my obstacle is that nobody draws the way i want to draw. and im bad at coming up with my own stuff...i need to copy and osmose off#someone else. well. it turns out there is someone who draws the way i draw. and its cheye of the past.#dont get me wrong if i look thru the rest of the art in the (year) folder these came from; 80% of it sucks#i wish i cld have what past cheye had but with current cheye tweaks and refinement#but idk how to do that. something weird has happened to my mind i really cant envision and make art the same way anymore#idk how he did it back then....i wish i Knew bc current me cant make anything out of sketching or thumbnails or just going at it#arghhh#i try and force myself to draw stuff like this now (interactions) and it looks. so stiff. and bad proportion wise but idk how to fix it#which isnt to say the proportions (for example) in THESE drawings are perfect but they dont scream Wrong or Bad or Incorrect to me ykwim...#idk! idk what to do with this. ive never known how to go back and study my own stuff
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Alucard is a boydad but vladcard is a total girldad. I can't explain it but that's the vibes they're giving off,,,,,
Peak characterization my dear anon
Alucard is a boydad stuck with a daughter
(it doesn't change at how he'd treat her if she was a son she still suffers either way)
"LOCK THE FUCK IN"
"Shut up"
Fatherly disappointment followed by resignation (also him calling her an idiot for a minute straight)
And ofc. These gems
Peak boydad. He calls her 'sport'
Vs
Peak girldad Vlad
THAT'S A PROUD DAD RIGHT THERE!!!
He brags about her all the time. You never hear the end of it.
"Yeah, your kid went to Harvard? Cute. My daughter tho--"
He brings her everywhere, and is always there when she's struggling (somehow predicts it). A guy comes within a 20 mile radius of her and he whips out the shotgun. He cuts up apples and places it on her desk without a word and he compliments her hair and outfits and he let her paint his nails when she was little. The first person who made fun of him for having poorly painted sparkly nails got stabbed in the kidney.
Also, he already has a dad laugh.
Overall, maybe Hellsing is actually about Boydad Alucard's journey to becoming a girldad
#hellsing#long post#alucard#vladcard#seras victoria#ask response#i love love LOVE their relationship#they'll be the death of me#arghhh my heart and soul my being#oof ouchie my feelings#they make me feel a type of way#i'll never get over that fishing art btw I want it tattooed on me#their relationship is just a kid on the verge of crying while doing their math homework and their dad yelling at them the whole time#(turns out he doesn't know how to do it either)
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please stay by me!
#nintama#nintama rantarou#忍たま乱太郎#rkrn#仙伊#comic#digital#tachibana senzou#zenpouji isaku#HI..............................UMMMM#i haven't drawn in a long while so all of it exploded into me drawing the sappiest comic known to man#(just really wanted to draw that last page)#you two WILL get tender and vulnerable with each other NOW#nhk only gave them like one episode together because they knew the fabric of the universe would be at danger lest they keep putting these#two on screen next to each other. something about seeing chougougumi is so overwhelmingly powerful to me.#like staring directly into the face of a brilliant solar eclipse#i like the idea of senzou running to isaku as kind of a safety net whenever he encounters the genkin trio. its cute...#i had an idea for where he calls isaku a good luck charm. irony right because isakus unlucky but oughh... *clutching chest*....#and i wonder if isaku would look up to senzou ...its so dark in here...#these two would also make great angst i feel bc they both have committee work heavily involved with death on the battlefield...ill refrain#because im running out of tag space but ARHGHHHHH SENZOU ISAKU YURI!!!! ARGHHH#quirinahdraws#issen#just for tag convenience
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Actually another Burning Maze thing I’ll never ever recover from is the fact that Piper gets horrifically burnt in that book and has every reason to be afraid of being burnt again, yet when she sees Leo (who’s terrified of hurting the people he loves with his powers because of what happened to his mom) the first thing she does is melt into his arms without hesitation
#I’m wailing at the top of my lungs about these two#she trusts him so much so instinctively she knows he’d never hurt her and it’s killing me#and that wasn’t even the point of this scene! I know it wasn’t! I know it’s a grief thing and never even brought up. But arghhh#leo valdez#piper McLean#platonic liper#Leo and Piper#ToA#trials of Apollo#heroes of olympus#hoo#pjo Piper#pjo Leo#the burning maze
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been thinking abt book 4 again,,,
#actual drawing program??? whats that i only know and love aggie#it is literally only one brush i like on there and it is so wonderful#scarabia the silly guys#nothing bad ever happens to the—#jamil you’ll never betray me right???#heavy blow to the gut#falling over#some little notes i wannaaaa say#BEWARE!! BOOK 4 SPOILERS AFTER THUS#used both kalim and jamils UM magic in the piece and u can kiiinda see jamil’s UM seeping over to kalims side#which is like the magic taking over#ykykykyk#and i drew a teeny moon and sun on each of their sides cause idk they r very dual like that#and idk if its noticeable anymore but#i drew red for jamils eye first and covered it w blue but left some red spots which is kinda like him secretly using his UM#ARGHHH THEY MAKE ME INSANE#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#kalim al asim#disney twst#twst fanart#twst kalim#scarabia#jamil viper#twst jamil#twst scarabia#i love scarabia sm
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consequence of being on dragon age tumblr is that the longing to play dragon age 2 will sometimes hit you so hard
#i said the first thing i would do when i get back into dragon age mood after this current bg3 mood is finish sulahni’s run.#and that will make me free to play da2 properly and happily#but i have to get allllll the way through to get to da2... awakening too...#arghhh okay time to make progress soon#as if i dont love awakening its just#nothing will ever be Her not even awakening you know what i mean#aidan hawke when i get my hands on you.
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Utena and anthy literally saved eachother from the narrative
I love that with all the suffering, naiveness and helplessness, they loved eachother
Anthy made utena realize how harmful the idea of the prince and princess was, that it was hurting herself and would hurt her too
Utena made anthy realize that she can be loved and that she can be free and her suffering was not eternal (nothing was eternal. Akio is a liar)
They hurt eachother but they loved and helped eachother as they could
And away from ohtori, akio, their coffins, they love and heal. Together, they shine.
#yet again#utenanthy makes me insane#utenanthy#revolutionary girl utena#shoujo kakumei utena#utena#im tired and rambling#goodnight to everyone!!#i absolutely love stories where love and hope saves the day but in unconventional ways arghhh
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METADEDE WEEK:
Day 7 - Loyalty (last day)
"throughout thick and thin somehow... you were always by my side"
#ARGHHH ITS THE END#IM SO SAD#the drawing came out kinda bad im sorry#the idea was ther#the execution no#metadedeweek#art#metadede#kirby#mtddweek2024#im getting emotional over here#and corny#SOMEONE STOP ME
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thing I doodled last night, didn’t feel up to colouring it.. might later though :P
#got a cd player today!!!!#FINALLY#anyway this isn’t instagram#rambles#my art#art#billy shears#paul mccartney#paul is dead#I gotta stop drawing for this theory#this theory actually pisses me off which is funnier#will never believe it#doodles#the beatles#fanart#arghhh#okay bye now!!!!
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Can't sleep so ofc I gotta draw
#happyftartreal#heathers#veronica sawyer#heather chandler#heather mcnamara#heather duke#i ARGHHH#honestly i wanna draw some heathers au stuff..#if you got designs. lmk. send them to me#LAWL#i need someone to put me to sleep. quickly.#wait i forgot#chansaw
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just remembered I left a dildo on the ground in my room to dry and im not home and my parents don't respect my personal space please pray for me tee hee <3
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*holds my fucking breath*
#james spader#raymond reddington#the blacklist#reddington#red#raymond red reddington#blacklist#tbl#raymond reddington gif#raymond reddington gifs#the blacklist gif#gif#gifs#gifset#4x10#season 4 episode 10#GUYS ALL THESE SCENES IN THIS APARTEMENT MADE ME HAVE A HEART ATTACK#gosh he is soooo fuckin hot#uuughhh handsome dadddyy#sitting on his lap#kissing his neck goikg down on him arghhh someone make me shut up and throw me into the rubbish
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'Why are you staring at me like that?'
'Just trying to understand how your brain works'
MHMMMM SUREEEE SHERLOCK SURE YOU WAS I SEE YOU I SEE YOUUU!! 👀
#'yeah you and me both mate'#arghhh i love them - and u cant tell me sherlock wasnt giving heart eyes#liveblogging#sherlock & co#sherlock and co#sherlock & co spoilers#sherlock holmes#john watson#sherlock#goalhanger podcasts#silver blaze
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