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weasleymalfoypotter · 4 years ago

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i hate you (but not really) pt6

masterlist

summary : summary: draco malfoy and harry potters twin sister have hated each other since they met. but in 5th year he comes to find that maybe he doesn’t hate her and the reasons he did end up be the things he loves

word count : 2.6k

warnings : mentions of abuse, fluff, angst, ron and hermione being in the outs which is a whole warning

A/N : sorry this out so late i’ve been so busy and i’m on this retreat but i’m so excited to get this part out and thank you so much for all the love on this series and we’re at 50 followers and i want to cry omg also if there are spelling mistakes i’m sorry

“hey princess” draco said while kissing the crown of my head before sitting down in the seat next to me in the back of the library. princess is still his favorite nick name for him a year after he called me that for the first time. i swear he says it 100 times a day. i’m not complaining.

“helloooo” i said smiling at him as he sat down.

“how was today? i heard snape gave you a hard time”

“oh you know the usual. he likes to remind harry and i that we’re not as important as the rest of the wizarding world thinks we are” i said light heartedly with a smile. snape actually used to be fond of me. i asked him why in my third year because he hated my brother so much and he explained by saying i reminded him of my mother. it was a soft side to snape that no one thought existed. all he said was that he knew her in their years at hogwarts but after harry told me about the memory he saw in the pensive i knew there was more to it. that was the same time he started giving me a harder time, treating me like the rest of the gryffindors, if not worse. i confronted him after class one day after he made a comment about harry and i, and he said i was becoming more like my father as i grew up. that’s what remus and sirius would tell me too. they said harry and i looked just like james, except for the eyes, but personality wise, he was all lily and i was all james. i stormed out of his class after that and any kind of friendship or comfort i found in that class dissipated and his past kindness became an afterthought.

draco and i spent the rest of the day in the library studying before we went to dinner. he still sat at the slytherin table during meals and i spent the time with harry and my best friends. although, today i’m sitting with just hermione so she’s not alone because harry sits with ron and hermione and ron are on the outs...again. it hasn’t happened a lot but it’s always about the same thing and they can’t even realize it. i wish they’d just get together already because i don’t know how much more “won won!!” i can take from lavender without punching her square in the jaw. and she really doesn’t like me. i think she doesn’t like any girl at hogwarts, as if they all pose a threat to her and won won’s relationship.

hermione looked down the table to see her leg on his lap while her hands moved up and down ron’s arm. he looked irritated. hermione chuckled loud enough so only i could hear.

“it’s funny that he picks the girl who doesn’t know not to mess with him while he’s eating” i laugh.

“the whole thing is ridiculous. i swear he can’t stand her anymore, it won’t last long, she’s way too clingy and they don’t mix well at all” she chuckled but i can tell it still hurts. “hey listen, he’s an idiot. one day he’ll realize how stupid he is and it’ll be him pining” she gave a half hearted smile. the whole thing has been hard for her. i hate to see her cry so much.

“yeah yeah, i just- i don’t know. i just can’t do this anymore.”

i nod along while she rants for the rest of dinner before we have to leave. afterwards she heads to the library and i head to the gryffindor common room for scheduled harry and ron time. it’s hard keeping up with school work, quidditch, prefect duties, and all my friends that can’t be around each other. i have to managed to spend time with draco away from harry and ron and hermione, but also spend time with hermione away from with harry and ron, and i also have to spend time with harry and ron without hermione or draco or lavender. it’s a mess. so now we’ve subconsciously gotten into a schedule. during breakfast i sit with draco and harry sits with hermione and ron is with lavender, if i’m in a class with gryffindors i sit with hermione, when i’m in a class without them, i sit with draco, at lunch i sit with harry and ron while hermione sits with ginny, during breaks i bounce between each of them depending on the day and whether or not i have quidditch, and before dinner i’m in the library with draco, during dinner i sit with hermione, and afterwards i hang out with harry and ron, and after that it’s cuddling with draco. it’s exhausting. not the cuddling part, that’s pretty great. everything else is just so confusing and it doesn’t give me a second to breath until the end of the night. but if i’m being honest, everything distracts me from thinking about sirius or cedric or anything along those lines. so i’m not really complaining.

i’m plopped down on the couch on the verge of passing out while ron and harry talk about harry’s potions book. i’m complete zoned out until ron asks

“hey, you guys are coming for christmas right?” i totally forgot christmas existed. it was only a few days before break and i had no idea we were invited to the burrow.

“are we? i didn’t know that was an option” harry said. he looked at me as if asking if i was up for it or not. of course i was.

“well yeah of course, mom wants to give you guys the sweaters in person this year” ron said excitedly.

“i’m totally down, is charlie gonna be there? i wanna hear about the dragons” i say the last part with so much joy. i loved charlie. he was so cool. honestly i think i just loved the dragons but same thing. charlie and i always talked forever about his work whenever i was with his family.

“i’m not sure if he’s coming or not, but either way you’re going to be there, you don’t have a choice” ron said.

“that’s true. molly might just hunt us down if we don’t show up” harry said. ron nodding along pursing his lips. he didn’t lie.

i totally forgot to tell draco that i was going to be at the weasleys for christmas until today which is the day before we leave. we’re sitting cross crossed on my bed across from each other, hands tangling with each other’s, and talking about our day.

“okay so should i leave your christmas present here and spell so you can’t open it until the day of, or should we wait, or open them now, or...?” draco rambled.

“well i’m not gonna be here on christmas, harry and i are going to the burrrow” i said. his face showed his confusion and i remembered i forgot to tell him.

“since when? not complaining, it’s better than you being here by yourself but i’m positive fred has always had a crush on you” he said with a laugh.

“okay one, since the other day, and two, fred does not and has never had a crush on me” i said laughing at the thought of me and fred. he was like my big brother.

“okay okay but if he gets handsy i will hex him into oblivion and lace his apartment with his own products” he said faking seriousness

“fred will not get handsy, i promise” i replied with a huge smile on my face. i don’t think fred has ever gotten handsy with me.

“alright well, i guess we could do presents now” he said with a very excited expression. i nodded excitedly. i was so unbelievably excited for him to see what i made him. that’s right. made. i spent forever on it trying to get every detail right but i managed to figure it out. with the help of astronomy records i found an image of what the sky looked like the night we had our first kiss in the astronomy tower. i enlisted the help of flitwick and told him it was for a personal project to figure out the charms to put the pattern from stars from that night on a ring. it looks so damn cool, i honestly want it for myself. after a few moments of getting situated, we were sitting across from each other with the others presents in our hands.

“okay you first?” i smiled and handed him his present. it was wrapped carefully in a small package.

“open it” i said softly while he looked at me with a questioning look. he took of the paper and opened the box on its hinges. his face lit up and he didn’t even know what it really was yet.

“oh wow” he said while eyeing it “this is beautiful”

“wanna know something?” he looked up at me “you see the stars on it?” he nodded “that’s what the stars looked like on the night of our first kiss” i said with a huge smile and his face dropped...but in a good way.

“you’re kidding” his eyes backs glossy

“nope” i said with a smile. he immediately slipped it onto his left ring finger. he then leaned in to kiss me. i smiled as we pulled away. points to me for the really awesome gift.

“okay okay time for your gift because if i look at this any longer right now i will cry” i eyed him jokingly “okay maybe not cry but you get the idea” he handed me the box as i laughed. it was small, almost the same size as the one i gave him. i opened it to find a small black velvet ring box. huh. when i opened the box on its hinges i gasped. a gorgeous emerald pear cut ring with small diamonds surrounding the green stone with a silver band. it was gorgeous. tasteful, classy, simple yet fancy. i was crying and i didn’t know it until his hand was on my cheek wiping away tears.

“you kind of beat me to the ring idea but i still think i scored” he was smiling so wide. a put it on my left ring finger and i jumped over to kiss him as he pulled me into his lap.

“i love you so much. i need you to know that” he said looking up at me after we broke away

“i do. and i love you too. more than you know” i replied, nudging his nose with mine.

christmas break at the burrow so far has been just as amazing as i expected. hermione wasn’t there obviously, but i still got to hang out and room with ginny and we were having a blast. quidditch games with the twins were fun because this time i was on their team which was definitely refreshing. they were way too damn good, and just because we were friends when they were on the gryffindor team doesn’t mean they’d go easy on me. quite the opposite actually. in third year i was in the hospital for two days after a really rough bludger from fred knocked me unconscious after hitting me in the head and taking me off my broom. he felt bad but it still hurt like hell.

it’s christmas eve and we were all in the living room cuddled up with tea and coa coa talking about fred and george’s shop and school and everything except the order and or voldemort until a knock came from the door. it was late so the room was full of confused faces while arthur and molly got up to get the door.

“oh goodness draco what happened?” i heard arthur say. i immediately sat up and everyone’s attention was glued to the interaction at the door.

“i’m so sorry Mr. Weasley, i- uh- i just, i didn’t have anywhere else to go” a voice i recognized all to well trailed off. i got up quickly making my way to the door to see a concerned molly standing next to a confused arthur with his hand on a bruised draco with a bloodied lip. my heart sunk and they all looked at me.

“oh my God draco what happened?” i said while closing the space between us and putting a hand up to the bruises on his face. he stuttered and molly looked around to find everyone zeroing in on the conversation.

“let’s go into the kitchen dears, i’ll make some tea for you draco and get you some ice and something for the bruises and your lip” draco nodded while we moved to sit in the kitchen. i could faintly hear molly telling everyone else to mind their own and we’ll let them know what was going on if we felt like it.

“draco what the hell happened to you?” arthur was waiting to hear the answer to my question while draco tried not to meet my eyes.

“m- my dad. he um, he found out about us. he told me that i could either be a true malfoy and follow in his footsteps and leave you or not be a part of the family at all. i told him i wouldn’t do it. i told him i wasn’t going to work for you know who and that you were my family now. that’s when he did this” he said gesturing to his face. my heart hurt. this was my fault. i knew it was better for him to be out of that house and not working for voldemort but i can’t help but think that the pain was because of me.

“draco i’m so sorry” i said with tears running down my face while squeezing his hand.

“well y/n isn’t your only family now son” arthur looked up at molly who seemed to have been around the hear the whole thing. she nodded. at him “there’s space in ron and harry’s room, if you’d like to stay with us. we’d love nothing more than to have you hear draco” draco was crying now. he’d been trying to hold it in. but hearing these words come from a father, hearing loving words, was his breaking point.

“i’m so sorry. for everything my family has done, for everything i’ve done. i- i- i could never truly tell you how much i loathe what my family is” draco said to arthur. “i’m sorry i showed up here so late i know i shouldn’t have i just, i had no where else to go” he looked down. molly came behind him and ran her hands on his shoulders.

“nonsense draco. we know you’ve changed, we’ve heard all about it” she said smiling “y/n is our family and that makes you family too”

the rest of break was actually great. it was cramped but i wasn’t upset about it. draco was feeling so much better after being around a loving family for once. he and harry and ron were actually getting along so well it was scary. i would actually say their friends considering he’s been spending more time with them than me. i actually saw them laughing together once. it was weird. but honestly i couldn’t have been happier to have him here. he was able to give the order information about voldemort and his connections to certain families and their plans. no one thought draco heard as much as he did but his information was valuable.

the rest of the school year was perfect. everyone was getting along, draco was out of his house, the rings on our fingers were a representation of hope for the two of us, and i knew this was the boy i would spend the rest of my life with.

TAGS: @idkmanicantenglish @dracoswhore007 @lordlodge

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2p-stuff-because-i-miss-them · 5 years ago

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2p! Canada boyfriend head canons

Oh mAh gawd it's finally maple boi time

Also guys I'm so sorry if you read my headcanons and they stop short randomly, I actually put a lot of things into them but in segments but then Tumblr doesn't save them UwU. I have to start writing them in Doc ig.

2p Canada Boyfriend headcanons

He's honestly such an antisocial big bear so the way y'all's met was probably very weird.

It took like 1500000000 encounters for you to even interact with this giant

You were probably being energetic, chipper, meme trash for like a week

He thought you were being kinda low-keycute weird as fuck, in a funny way tho, but kinda didn't want to talk to you yet plus you were always talking to someone or seemed busy

After 3 weeks of encounters you two were in a bus stop or alone at night

And for some odd reason you thought is was a brilliant idea to start conversation with a 6'4 stranger in a random ass bus stop in the dead of night

Big brain move tbh, but damn it was the most awkward interaction in the beginning for a little bit

I’ll let you imagine how it went, but whatever you did went well because you exchanged contact information and then started talking a lot after awhile, how cute.

After several months of hanging out Matt developed feelings because usually people think he’s cool and mysterious and expect something much more different when becoming friends, so when they’re unsatisfied with him actually just being an awkward, tall bean who needs much affection they just ghost him and leave.

After a while of recognizing how genuine you are, you get closer faster (hanging out all day, wrestling for something dumb and insignificant, buying each other's favorite snacks, spending the night at each others house etc etc).

Who knew it’d actually be kinda easy to cuddle with Matt after like 5 months of lovable friendship eh?

The way you guys started dating was actually kind of an accident, but I want it to still be left up to imagination so I’ll just say it was an accidental and impulsive act of physical contact and then a very wholesome (yet awkward) conversation about determining your relationship afterwards- spoiler it went very well, you’re dating now.

And now time for more mushy hc’s

Fast forwarding through the relationship Matt is kind of comfortable in the relationship than most would be because he knows you well and you know him. But like a little more has changed

He’s so clingy now like damn, hugging you from behind, plopping down to his head in your lap or jokingly sit between your legs for a little.

He really likes long talks with you alone a lot of times to not only catch up but maybe catch up on something new together. During these times there’ll usually be a movie in the background or something

I mean you guys used to playfully fight before, but now its really competitive dang, you end it and then just laugh but sometimes Oliver will peak in like “omg he’s going to kill her or vice versa when do I interfere-”

He can be very protective at times though like he’ll beat someone up for you if you ask and have a good reason. When you’re talking to someone he’ll often watch both you and the other persons posture, way of speaking and stuff to make sure that this person isn’t trying to mess with you or make a fool of you.

^Person: Uh is he okay…?

You: Oh Matt yeah he’s okay, he’s just a little shy

Matt: *glaring menacingly*

Person: *nervous sweating*

His polar bear (Kumajiro) is also protective of you but in like a possessive way-

This bear doesn’t like you talking to any of your friends lol, he’s like “are they a threat? No? Okay well you’re paying more attention to them than me soooooooooooo”

Not even Matt is safe from his growling and wrapping around you, but he kind of just carries you away and runs when this happens so...

He speaks French to you mostly if you know it. Only because he likes to practice it when needed. But he’ll still speak it a lot even if you do not know it lol, but not directly to you it’ll be small mutteringsyou like it lets be honest

Because Matt dyes his hair quite often (blonde and brown, more hc’s on that later though) he’ll ask you to wash it and condition it during hair maintenance rituals. And he likes to wash and condition your hair too. If you braid and place flowers in his hair after you do it he’ll immediately want to go hiking in the wilderness because he’s a princess-- I mean uh...nature calls????

He really is kind of like a Disney princess though because he attracts so many animals for literally 0 reason when out.

^You: James

Matt: Hm?

You: wanna explain the flock of doves surrounding you, or maybe the bull moose?

Matt: Not….really no

You: oh, okay I guess that’s cool, however they’re walking to my house with us so…

Matt: its fine they’ll come in just for a little with me-

You: Jamie (nickname) I genuinely don’t want a giant bull moose on the 5th floor of my of my 8 story apartment-

Speaking of the name James, he really only likes you and a couple of people calling him that and Mathieu. The ladder is for more serious matters but James is like a “you’ll only call me this if were super close” name

He’s honestly a really big sweet heart and loves you so much, so he’ll do the smallest but kindest things for you like if you’re having a bad day he’ll do all your house chores, go out and buy your fav snacks, and stay at your place for like 3 days. Or if you’re talking about something a lot or mentioning something, he’ll buy you something revolving around that thing. He’ll be your emotional rock whenever you need it too.

Being in a relationship with him is also kind of wild, just a little bit, because he’ll come up with so many random ideas at once randomly and be like “yo do you wanna-” Matt its 3am please “okay yeah, but do you wanna like hop on a train with Allen or something and just be homeless somewhere new for a little tomorrow?” baby I have things to do- “This weekend?” But why do you wanna- “okay sweet I love you so much for this, it’ll be cool, good night.”.....

Speaking of Allen you guys are always with Allen, like he’s always there teasing you and taking you and Matt on weird ass adventures that Matt kinda doesn’t want to go to but also doesn’t necessarily care…?

At some point you just adopt him into your normal life and start seeing him as a brother.

You two only eat in each others bedrooms btw and honestly, what's the point of those dining tables you bought-

Basically Matt is a sentimental awkward bear, that loves you very much, he’ll take care of you and listen as long as you’re willing to do vice versa

I like to separate bf head canons from general head canons so that one can focus on more of the romantic aspect of a character and the other the character as a whole, so there’ll probably be hc’s for Mathieu

Thank you for your love and support!!

#2p hetalia #2p #2p!hetalia #2p canada #2pface #2p!canada #2p headcanons #2ptalia #2p allies #2p imagine

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bananarama-fantana · 5 years ago

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Trouble in Paradise

Steve Harrington story (updated re-post)

chapter one - chapter two - chapter three - chapter four - chapter five - chapter six - chapter seven

Chapter One - ‘Homecoming’

Word count: 3465

Warnings: smoking, drinking, pretty much just a bunch of teen angst (I didn’t sleep for three days writing this so the only real warning is to always stay hydrated and sleep)

Masterlist

I wasn’t bitter.

I kept telling myself that. I wasn’t bitter and I certainly wasn’t a bitch, even if Carol wanted to say otherwise. I just had that icky feeling I got.

It all seemed far too reminiscent of the Homecoming dance my junior year, when he’d asked out Holly Peterson and the pair had stood up on stage shamelessly sucking face with cheap plastic crowns on their heads for everyone to see, all the other cheerleaders swooning, the American high-school dream. I remembered the first half of the night, with Carol and the vodka she’d stolen from her mom’s (not so secret) hiding place. We were sitting on the ledge next to the sinks in the girls bathrooms while she did her mascara and her hair, listening to her bitch about Tommy and the cheer-team and practically every other person in our school. I’d had my dress pulled up to my knees, ruining all the creases, drinking as much as I could stomach to try and cover up that same icky feeling.

Carol was a friend out of convenience more than anything, a bitchy older sister who I let drag me around to parties to get drunk with. I had only really seen her have actual emotions a couple times that I could remember, once when Tommy cheated on her the first time and she’d cried all the way through 5th period, and the next after her brother told her he was joining the army. Other than that she was just Carol all the time. She was never really someone I wanted to spend time with but despite being one of the most popular girls in school she really didn’t have that many other friends. Ever since Kathy Gates caught her giving a blowjob to Kathy’s long-time boyfriend Pete, the whole crowd turned on her like an angry mob. On some level I kind of felt sorry for her, she was still a person after all and the whole thing had been him, not her, but at the end of the day Pete and Kathy exchanged their promise rings and Carol spent her time with me instead. Before I knew it, I was dragged into the whole charade right next to her, like the Wicked Witch of the East and the Wicked Witch of the West: the twisted sisters of Hawkins high.

“And like she’s got this smile like she thinks she’s fucking better than me all because she’s vegetarian!” she was saying, adding about the millionth coat of mascara to her eyelid.

“That’s total horseshit, I saw her eating a cheeseburger like last week,” I replied, jumping down from the ledge next to her and straightening out my dress.

The dizzying air full of hairspray and perfume was nauseating in itself. Music was already playing in the sports hall, the drums from Venus by Bananarama echoing along the corridors, reminding me painfully of the whole bullshit scene that awaited me back at the dance. It took a couple seconds to realise just how drunk I was after standing up, almost going over on my ankle, trying to walk in my borrowed pair of sequined high-heels. Carol was cackling as she watched me.

“Way to be a light-weight, Y/n!”

“I’m fine,” I protested, pushing fingers over my scalp to try and give my hair a little more volume. I had looked better in the car but this would have to do.

“You look like shit,” She said, continuing to laugh. I gave her a dark look as she took the vodka from me with a face like the Cheshire Cat. “I don’t know what the fuck your being a bitch about though, Clark obviously wants to screw you,” She said before taking a drink.

Clark was my date that night, a senior and a douche. He wasn’t the type of douche Carol would hang around with though, he was a kind of pretentious douche, he went to college parties, smoked Marlboros, he’d read Bukowski’s ‘love is a dog from hell’ and now he thought he was the shit, I had talked to him once at a pool party in the suburbs and figured just as much. Carol liked him because he had friends who were in college, I only really liked him because he had good weed. To be honest there was really only one reason why he was my date though.

Steve fucking hated him.

Even the memory of that way of thinking still made me feel ill. It had always felt pathetic. Every girl in the whole school was looking at Steve the same way I was and that made me sick to my stomach. There was a big part of me that wanted to scream that he wasn’t even that great. Sure, he had the hair and the looks and the charm, but the guy was a dufus, a total airhead, he was barely making it through high school and he wasn’t even smart enough to care.

I had known him longer than I could remember, guessing that we must have first met in kindergarten some time, growing up in that same small town world right beside each other our whole lives. Somehow always reflecting the other, like parallel lines that only really crossed during games of tag or dress up, or when he used to pretend to be a wizard or a knight, wielding a twig as if it were a sword to fight off all kinds of mythical beasts: a childish fantasy, foreshadowing a nightmare that would come to life just a decade later. In elementary school I would let him use my pencil sharpener and borrow my sacred coloured pens even though we weren’t that close. In middle school I had helped him with his English assignment when he never even bothered to finish reading the book, he called me a genius that day and it made me blush. He tried out for the basketball team and kissed Macy Johnson behind the bleachers the same day I got my first period and choked on my first cigarette, one that I had been given by one of the older girls as right of passage. In Freshman year I stood in the halls and listened to the story of how the newly appointed ‘king Steve’ had lost his virginity to a sophomore, while he ate rice pudding out of a little plastic cup in the cafeteria and read a poem I had written anonymously in the school paper, arguing with Tommy that he thought it was actually ‘pretty good’.

It wasn’t until I had been raked into the whole Carol business that we really started hanging out though, with her and Tommy playing tonsil tennis every minute they were within reach of one another, leaving me and Steve to sit and talk about ‘whatever’ to fill the time.

It was those nights at his house, sitting at the edge of his pool or in his car talking about just life or getting high or drunk or just sitting that made me realise how much I really liked him. Not just some school girl crush like in the 8th grade but actually knowing him and seeing him and thinking he was magic.

I liked to think he was different with me, as sad as that sounded, that I'd gotten to meet the ‘real’ Steve not just the douchebag facade, but that kind of thinking only breaks hearts faster. Carol didn’t know about any of it at that point, at least I hadn’t told her about it, but that night at homecoming was sort of the end of our sisterhood, at least as it was back then.

“Clark would screw a fucking lamppost if it laughed at his jokes,” I replied, giving her a look.

“Yeah but he’s cute though so why not?” Carol said easily.

“I’m not in the mood”.

“You’re never in the goddamn mood! I mean Jesus, I’ve got Tommy, Steve’s got Holly, if you’re planning to ditch Clark you’re just gonna’ look dumb!” That was the thing with Carol, she always had a picture in her head. What she wanted people to see. What she wanted all the other cheerleaders looking over at her to see and be jealous. I was her ‘best friend’ but I was more like an accessory.

The mention of Holly brought bile up in my throat again, making me wince, the icky feeling coming back, “I need another drink”.

Carol had pulled me back to the sports hall not long after that, happy with how she looked now. The sight that awaited was not a happy one, however, someone having clearly succeeded in spiking the punch. The whole room descending into a chaotic mess of filth; sweat, saliva, and showering glitter, with every other couple seemingly attached at the mouth.

It took no time before Carol and Tommy were all over each other already and something about that made me feel even more sick than before. Clark had been waiting around at the door talking to some girl, he was saying something about how he’d not been to a school dance in years, he thought he was too good for them. It took me a while to spot Steve in the crowd, whispering something in Holly’s ear while he handed her a drink and she played with his hair. He looked great. The whole thing was a disaster.

“You guys wanna go outside for a smoke or something?”

“Sure, baby,” Carol had replied to Tommy sweetly, at whatever point during the dance, leading the group outside into the night.

We were a motley crew, hiding behind the bike sheds round the corner of school to smoke. Avoiding the teachers, making us feel like adults for once, high on teen rebellion. Tommy and Carol just continued to feel each other up, holding cigarettes between their fingers now as well. Clark looked pretty put out, I almost wanted to just tell him to go talk to that girl again but Carol had told him to come and now all he was doing was standing around awkwardly trying to look cool while I gritted my teeth and bit down harshly, ignoring him and smoked my cigarette.

Holly was still giggling at all of Steve’s stupid fucking jokes, fluttering her eyelashes in her nauseating powder-pink cardigan. I had heard them all before too many times to count, each time somehow worse than the last.

“Hey, are you okay?” Clark’s voice broke me out of my enraged trance.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

He pointed at his lip, indicating mine. I'd been biting it again, so hard it had started bleeding. I swore to myself, trying to wipe it away.

“I’m fine, it’s just a habit.” He looked sceptical.

“Again?” Steve laughed, coming closer to hand me a tissue with a goofy grin and a cigarette between his teeth. A few nights prior I had bust my lip on the side of Steve’s pool after falling flat on my face. I had been pissed off with him that night but he was used to it, he probably just thought Carol was driving me nuts again. He hadn’t even laughed when I had fallen, just scrambled quickly over to me in a string of swears and curses, asking if I was alright and helping me to my feet.

The rest of the school week had been spent with him nagging me every two seconds that I needed to “quit biting at it, Y/n. It’s never gonna heal if you keep biting it like that” all while Holly stood next to him, fawning over him, hand on the back of his head running fingers through his hair.

“I’m fine, I’m fine, it’s nothing,” I reassured, dabbing at the blood. I couldn't even feel the pain through the buzz, the blood was the only problem.

Holly gasped, hands coming up to her face, “oh no! She’s got blood on her dress!”

“Shit!” The dress wasn’t mine, it was a rental, and they were never going to accept it back looking like that.

“Hey, it’s fine you can get that shit out with like baking soda, right?” Clark said.

Steve scoffed. “What are you, man, a serial killer?”

Steve had never liked Clark so when he had rocked up to the dance with me hanging on his arm Steve hadn’t been impressed, whispering to me under his breath that I “could do better than that douchebag” not because he liked me or anything but just because I was his friend. He had said before that I was the only friend he had who he could have a real conversation with. We were just kind of like that. I didn’t like Holly either and I had told him just as much, he had just put it down to me having a thing against cheerleaders, I always said I thought they were all too uptight.

“What the fuck is your problem, asshole?” Clark bit back, Steve loving finally getting a raise out of him, he’d finally hit the gold he’d been digging for all night.

“Look, just drop it, Clark,” I cut in before Steve could say anything more and cause a scene.

“No, I’m not gonna just drop it, Y/n. I came out here with you for a good time and all I get is this moron riding my ass the whole night!” He said, gesturing to Steve.

“Leave then, man, go talk to Sadie fucking Lawson, that’s what you really wanna do,” steve sang back.

It was then that Carol broke her silence.

“Holy fucking shit!” her eyes were wide as she wiped her mouth, stepping forwards and looking right back at me, “I just figured it out!”

She looked at Steve and then back again. I let in a sharp breath.

“What the fuck are you talking about Carol?” Steve said exasperatedly. She was just laughing now. I closed my eyes, I knew what was coming.

“You don’t wanna fuck Clark, because you wanna fuck Steve!”

“What?” Tommy cut in, holding her arm and turning to look between us, he started to laugh too, “Oh my god. You’re right!”

I sighed, they were drunk, they were just drunk.

“Look, shut up, man. That’s obviously not true!” Steve was saying awkwardly, looking over at me cautiously, “Right, Y/n?”

When I didn’t immediately reply Carol and Tommy burst into more laughter, making my guts churn. It was like someone was suffocating me from the inside and stabbing me all at once, and all I could do was stand there and look into Steve’s painfully oblivious eyes.

“‘Course not, they’re just drunk,” I finally breathed out, running a hand through my hair and avoiding his eyes again.

“Bull-shit!” Carol yelled.

“Shut the fuck up, Carol,” I had snapped, feeling tears stinging at my eyes, the vodka pushing my emotions right to the surface, with a vengeance. She stopped laughing after that.

“What did you say to me?”

“I said, shut up.” It was a simple answer, that was silently begging her to just ‘stop’. But she didn't, taking a step towards me.

“Hey woah- woah, calm down, okay?” Steve brought his hands up between the two of us. Carol and I had fought before and it was never pretty. People at the dance had started to wonder over now too, after hearing all the ruckus. A crowd of spectators forming around the spot, drawing more attention.

It felt like the whole of Hawkins high was watching my life fall apart.

Over a year later I had still never quite managed to live it down, the whole school somehow burying my friendship with Carol in a night. We hadn't spoken again after the fight, which had somehow escalated so far that she had tried to rip out a chunk of my hair. I had stopped hanging out with her altogether the next day.

At one point she had called me late at night saying she missed me, but I knew that if I brought it up in person she would pretend it had never happened. But over the course of our high school lives we still went to the same parties and now, in senior year, the whole thing felt just like dé jà vu.

“You still like him, don’t you?” She was yelling over the music, drunk out of her mind.

Steve was dancing with Nancy Wheeler this time, dressed as Joel and Lana from Risky Business. The perfect couple to all appearances. The perfect couple, perfectly happy.

“You’re such a bitch, Y/n,” she slurred when I ignored her, repeating herself for about the fifth time that night. “Has anyone seen Tommy?”

“God! Carol, he’s an ass!” One of her new friends, Nicole, was groaning beside me. I guessed they had broken up again but I didn’t really care.

“Yeah, but I miss him,” she pouted, steadying herself on the sink and sliding herself across the tiled floor of Tina’s kitchen.

"I miss Steve,” I thought aloud, taking another sip of that weird drink and wincing. I really was that drunk, huh?

“Steve’s an ass!” The friend stated confidently.

I thought back to the Byers house last year, the demogorgon ripping through the wall and Steve hurling himself at it with no hesitation.

“He’s not so bad.” I shrugged.

Carol laughed. “He’s totally an ass!”

I liked to think I had changed a lot in a year, but Carol hadn’t. It was almost comforting. At least some things hadn’t changed. Despite Hawkins lab and inter-dimensional beings trying to eat everyone's face off, Carol was still the same-old Carol.

“Don’t you have a boyfriend anyway? Weren’t you dating some college guy, uhh... Pete something?” Nicole asked, leaning closer. She certainly seemed to know a lot more about me than I knew about her.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” I answered with a grimace. In truth Pete was barely even a friend, sure I had slept with him but that had mostly just been because I had been drunk and he had been there, even if he was total dogshit in the sack. He sort of reminded me of Jonathan Byers when I first met him, he had a similar demeanour, granted a bit more put together, but mostly just watched a lot of Japanese horror movies. He didn’t keep to himself as much as Byers did though.

I had been surprised when Jonathan showed up at the Halloween party, when he told me Nance had invited him I was even more surprised. I hadn’t spoken to either of them at all since last year, I had seen him at the record store on Main Street a couple times, or in the halls at school and smiled, but that was it. The year before had left us all pretty broken, all starting when Jonathan’s brother had gone missing. A couple weeks later I cut my hand, heard a noise and thought nothing of it only to be woken up by something coming through the wall above my bed. I hit it with my bedside lamp at first, screaming at the top of my lungs, but it had done nothing, not even a scratch, so I ran out, still screaming like hell. The neighbours hadn’t heard me, they were in florida.

There was a quilted blanket my nana had given us lying out in the living room that night and when I hit the bottom of the stairs I had somehow kicked it into the fireplace on accident, the whole room going up in seconds. Whatever that thing had been, it had crawled back to where it came from, cowering away from the flames.

When the police and the firefighters showed up they thought I was insane, told me I must have been hallucinating from all of the smoke. Nobody believed me, not one, not until I spoke to Jonathan.

A year later here we all were, all four of us who had been there, signed the NDA's and everything, bound to secrecy. All in the same room but never further apart. Jonathan met my eyes across the room, he had been watching Steve and Nancy with just as much jealousy and disdain as I had, cradling a red solo-cup and a growing ball of hatred in my gut.

I hated to admit any of it, hated myself for still liking Steve, hated him for becoming less of an asshole, but most of all I hated that this time it was different.

This time he was in love.

#Steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #Steve harrington imagine #Steve harrington x oc #stranger things imagine #stranger things series #stranger things #dailystrangerthings #steve #Steve x reader #Steve harrington oneshot #Steve harrington headcanon #Steve harrington au #stranger things headcanon #Steve harrington hc

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nocturnegyser · 4 years ago

Text

The Start of Clean Trash

Warren x Raccoon(reader)

A/N: I wanted to expand this little world a bit and make a story about the band Raccoon started, it’s also kind of a prequel to, “The Feels”, so plz enjoy but if it sucked plz be mean. (I can also take requests if u want...)

———

(y/n) has been at Xaviers for over a month, and has been doing relatively fine for the most part. Considering this is the first time she’s lived apart from her older brother.

(Y/N) also played guitar and always dreamt of starting a rock band, she could shred like Brian May and had the voice of Haley William, she was the perfect punk rocker.

She and Warren would occasionally would rock out together but never really perform in front of anyone, plus Warren was busy with X-Men training and (y/n) with classes.

That’s when (y/n) decided to start a band.

———

One day after classes, after getting permission to start a band from Charles, (y/n) was making posters for her band.

The poster read, “Wanna join a band? Join me! (y/n) anytime at the music room after 3:45pm to 6:45pm!”

(y/n) was hopeful about the turnout, expecting at least a few people to show up.

After putting up the last poster on the message board outside, “You think anyone’s gonna show up?” Warren asked.

“I’m hoping so, there’s gotta be at least one other individual here not too busy to join a band,” (y/n) responded

“Yea, sorry I couldn’t join..”

“Nah you’re fine, when responsiblites call, you answer.... at least I think that’s how that saying goes,” (y/n) snickered

Both headed inside for the time being.

Not too long after, a relatively new boy walked up looking at the poster

“....New band huh?.. that could be interesting.”

———

The next day (y/n) was waiting at the music room for what felt like hours, even though it had only been 29 minutes.

“Ugh!! Man.. I thought at least SOMEONE would have been interested. Oh well... I guess all that convincing was for not.” (y/n) said to herself discouraged

Almost at the same time as she began to lose hope, a tall boy came walking in the music room with a maroon instrument case.

The first thing (y/n) noticed was his big rat ears and tail, and secondly, his eyepatch.

“Uh... I was wondering if you were still holding auditions for the band?” the intriguing character asked

“Uh... yeah sure, of course. What do you play exactly?” (y/n) asked astonished that anyone came at all

“I play the bass,” the boy responded

“Oh wow! Exactly what I looking for,” (y/n) responded, both smiling a bit, “Tell me a bit about yourself, Mr.....”

“Palneski, Mars Palenski, I started coming here about 3 months ago.”

“Oh that’s perfect, I’ve barry been here myself, a month and a half now to be exact.”

“I’m an Aries, I began playing bass when my sisters boyfriend taught me...”

“Aww”

“Yeah, he ended up going to jail on running an underground poker ring.”

“Oh...”

“Yeah.. he was pretty cool, he made me this eyepatch”

Accidentally mishearing him, “He put you in that eyepatch??!!?”

“No no no! You misheard me, I said he made me this cool eyepatch, my dads the one who put me in it,” Mars then flipped his eyepatch up revealing a red bloodshot eye

(y/n) was a bit horrified but even more intrigued

“What happened there?... if you don’t mind me asking..” (y/n) asked

“Meh, pops went off the deep end one night on me and my mom, she had clipped her ears and tail before she met my dad, imagine their surprise when a freak like me popped out,” Mars revealed

“Well you’re not the freak in this situation,” she reassured him

“But other than that, I’d like to join your band if that’s cool”

“Yea yea of course, you’re the only person to show up so far so... show what you can do”

“With pleasure,” Mars replied, then plugging his bass that was pastel pink with purple paint splatters

Mars took a deep breath and began playing the baseline from Vulfpecks Sky Mall

(y/n) immediately knew what he was playing and was impressed he was pulling it off

Like every musician, there were things he needed improvement and missed a few notes but (y/n) hardly noticed or didn’t care

After his more than adequate performance, (y/n) stood up clapping with sparkles in her eyes

“You’re in! Welcome to..... I don’t have a band name,” (y/n) giggled

“Awesome! when are practices?” Mars responded

“Well that’s the thing, you’re the only one to really show up to this, we don’t have a drummer yet,” (y/n) responded.

“But if you want, you can help hold auditions for a drummer if you”

“Meh, not like I’m doing much, I don’t see why not,” Mars replied while packing up his bass

With that, (y/n)’s band finally has a start.. somewhat

———

The next few days proved to be fruitless.

No one showed up or wanted to join (y/n)’s or Mars’s band

“Man... you’d think with a prestigious enough music programs you’d think there’d be at least one other kid wanting to wail on drums,” Mars sighed

“Yeah... well I almost started this with another drummer but he’s got training,” (y/n) signed in response

“You know a drummer? who?” Mars asked

“His name is Warren, big metal wings, thuggish looking”

“Oh I saw him around, didn’t think you two hung out”

“Yeah, our schedules don’t always link up unfortunately,” (y/n) then staring off in thought about hanging out with Warren more

Mars noticed this and decided to speak up, “You like him?”

This caught (y/n) way off guard, “W-what??! what makes you say that??”

(y/n) now blushing

“I can tell by the way you stare off when talking about him,” Mars teased

“Well... it’s not that I LIKE like him, I just think he’s... cool, ok?”

“Yeah, cool. Got it,” Mars then looking forward himself a little surprised he was able to get that out of her

———

Finally, after almsot 2 weeks of waiting around, (y/n) finally had someone audition for drums

(y/n) and Mars were overly excited, (y/n) more than Mars

(y/n) immediately began interrogating the individual trying for the drums but they didn’t seem all that interested

“So tell us a bit about yourself,” (y/n) began, Mars was just sitting back in his seat with a semi interested look

“I guess I started drums in middle school band,” they replied

“Awesome, you ever play in a rock band before? Not that that’s a requirement, neither of us have either, we’re just curious,” (y/n) asked

“No, I don’t play to rock, mostly classical or school songs,” the already disinterested drummer responded

“Oh, well uh, we’re a rock band so.. I dunno if that’s-“ (y/n) began explaining before Mars cut her off

“Listen, we’re not looking for anything in particular, but I can tell you don’t wanna try out for this band, do you?” Mars immediately taking over

“Not really, I haven’t drummed in a while and honestly, wanted to drop it forever ago but my parents wanted me to try out..”

“So... you don’t want to join?” (y/n) asked a little sad

“No, sorry”

“That’s ok, let us know if you change your mind,” (y/n) letting them know before they walked out

“UGH!” (y/n) then slamming her head on the table

“We didn’t even get to hear how they sounded!”

“I’d imagine maybe not very good if they haven’t played since middle school..” Mars added

———

Immediately the next day, Warren was waiting in the music room for Mars and (y/n) with an audition ready, but not from him, his apprentice.

(y/n) stood there trying to take in what she was looking at

Warren Worthington III, one the the schools most intimidating residents/students and former horseman of the apocalypse... with a 5th grader drummer apprentice

Warren immediately began explaining what was happening, “Ryan here, decided he wanted to give your band a try, (y/n).”

(y/n) still standing there dumbfounded, sat down and began asking Ryan the usual

“So... tell us a bit about yourself, Ryan”

Ryan, very timidly began, “Well... I’ve only been going here 2 months and... and...”

Taking a deep breath, finall let out what he wanted to say, “I would like to join your band!”

Ryan now blushing

(y/n) finally grasping what was happening, understood what was going through Ryan’s head

“Ok, go ahead and play us something if you’d like,” (y/n) then motions towards the drums

This is the moment Ryan had been waiting for, the moment he spent hours training under Warren

Ryan began with a slow tempo Single Stroke Roll which transitioned into a picked up tempo Rebound Stroke

Warren had been watching from the door while (y/n) and Mars sat there in awe at what Ryan was able to do

after finishing, Ryan sweating and breathing harder than ever

(y/n) and Mars both immediately began clapping and both at the same time in unison said, “You’re in!”

Ryan having aspired to join a band of his own, finally happening, he bang crying and ran off the strage to go hug Warren to thank him for everything

(y/n) seeing this interaction made her heart flutter a bit

Seeing how good he is with kids, she began having thoughts

I wonder how he’d be with his own child, what kind of father would he be?

Immediately realizing what she’s thinking she began blushing

Ryan then decided to introduce himself to Mars and he took a liking to Ryan immediately and took him on as an apprentice as well

(y/n) walked up to Warren, both blushing a bit

“Thanks for giving Ryan a chance, (y/n).” Warren thanking (y/n)

“Ah, well, I was more than likely gonna let him join anyways, no one else was showing up, well one other person did but they weren’t interested”

Both giggled to themselves

I’ve never seen Warren giggle to easily (y/n) thought to herself

“Well.. I suppose we should get our newest addition situated and uh...”

“Oh, yeah for sure.. I guess I’ll just...”

“Yeah.. I’ll see you around I guess”

Both still blushing as Warren exited

———

Both Mars and (y/n) having gotten to know Ryan, (y/n) decided they should come up with a band name

“It should be something that represents all of us,” (y/n) stated

“How about... overnight heartbreak?” Mars suggested

“I never got my heart broken before... not by a girl at least,” Ryan responded

“The harmonies of The Gifted?” (y/n) already not liking her own name idea

“.....Well.. Ryan can manipulate water... you and me are trash animals..” Mars pointed out

“Trash animals??” (y/n) raising a question

“Yea, rats and raccoons are primarily found in trash cans”

“I’ve only been found a dumpster ONCE, and that was to find my tamagotchi I accidentally threw away,” (y/n) retaliated

“I’ve been found in multiple dumpsters, multiple times,” Mars said almsot bragging

Both forgetting Ryan was right there

“Uh well... I like cleaning so.. I’ve never been in a dumpster...” Ryan chimed in

“Cleaning huh...” Mars commented

“Clean... dumpsters.... trash animals..... cleaning trash animals....” Mars was saying random thought out loud to spark an idea for the other

“Clean.....”

“Trash....”

“Clean...”

“Trash”

“Clean”

“Trash”

“Clean Trash!!”

Both Mars and Ryan going back and forth before in unison coming up with a name

(y/n) immediately loved it and the trio had finally decided on their name

“This is gonna be fun,” (y/n) said fist bumping both Ryan and Mars

———

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priorsmicah · 5 years ago

Text

WHEN: December 5th, 2019 WHERE: Sydney’s apartment (sorry, Syd) WHO: @sfitzpatrick & Micah WHAT: Micah finds out Caine beat up Sean and goes to him.

MICAH. This wasn’t at all the way she wanted her reunion with Sean to go, Micah thought as she rushed up the stairs to Sydney’s apartment. To say she freaked out on Caine after she heard of his encounter with Sean. Never in her life had she screamed at someone so loudly. She rushed out too quickly for her to actually calm down and think about his actions rationally, but they were far from done with this whole situation. She knew he’d done it for her, to protect her from more hurt, but violence just wasn’t how she wanted this situation handled. Especially not violence directed at Sean of all people. No matter what happened between them, the last thing she wanted was for him to hurt. With all that in mind, she showed up to his current residence’s front door out of breath and overwhelmed with worry and leftover anger from her argument with her brother. She gasped as the door opened to reveal Sean and his roughed-up face. Her hand flew to her mouth to hide her wince while her other hand reached out to graze his bruised cheek. “Oh my god, look at you,” she said, guilt obvious on her features. This was all her fault, there was literally no other way to put it. She should’ve made it clear to Caine that this wasn’t what she wanted, even though she thought she had at the Copper Penny that day. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t ask him to do that, I promise. I’m always telling him beating people up solves absolutely nothing.” She dropped her hand, suddenly self-conscious to be touching him so intimately after ignoring him for months. “Hi.”

SEAN. No matter how much part of Sean felt as though he’d deserved the facedown with Caine, he couldn’t deny it was more than a little painful now, when the bruises had begun to bloom across his face and he felt achy no matter how carefully he moved. But it wasn’t just his body that was moving slow; his mind was, too, because the last person he expected when he hobbled to the door and opened it, was Micah. He he’d been starting to wonder whether he’d ever actually hear from her, and to have her show up now was more than he expected. He knew his mouth was hanging open, but he couldn’t help it; he couldn’t quite believe Micah was really there, that she was real. Her jacket somewhat crooked, as though she’d pulled it on in a hurry; her hair full of flyaways; and she’d never looked as beautiful as she did right then. Then her hand cupped his cheek, and he sucked in a breath, covering her hand with his. “I’m okay,” he said quietly, meaning it, because even though he was clearly injured, with Micah standing in front of him, he couldn’t think of anything but her. “I know— I know you didn’t.” He knew her; knew she didn’t want someone else fighting her battles, even her brother, but especially literally fighting them. “This?” he released her hand so he would wave at his face. “This ain’t on you. Nobody was gonna stop your brother.” And being an older brother himself, Sean couldn’t say he really blamed Caine, either. “Hi,” he repeated, a smile quirking the corner of his mouth. “You look good, Micah.”

MICAH. Micah hadn’t even considered how she might look after rushing out of Caine’s apartment like she did. She hadn’t showered this morning and had put on the first coat she saw on her way out. The way Sean’s mouth hung open at the sight of her, however, she knew it couldn’t be a pretty sight. She shook her head as he assured her he was alright, knowing he wouldn’t tell her the truth even if he felt he needed to go to the ER right this second. “You don’t look okay,” she insisted, her touch gentle as if she was afraid to break him. “You look like you got run over by a truck. The truck being Caine in this scenario, I guess.” Her guilt didn’t ease despite his best effort. “It is. It never would’ve happened if I hadn’t told him what happened. I should’ve known this would be the first thing he’d do if he ran into you,” she said with a sigh, averting her gaze so he wouldn’t see the shame there. His compliment brought a smile to her lips and reminded her she hadn’t even brushed her hair before leaving the apartment. She ran her fingers through the strands self-consciously, attempting to flatten it slightly. “We both know that’s a lie. This is not what I wanted to look like when I saw you again. I was going to get all dressed up to really make you regret… You know.”

SEAN. “I’ll heal,” he said dismissively. Having a paramedic for a sister had its perks, particularly when you didn’t want to make a fuss about the fact that you’d gotten beaten up. “Syd checked me out, I’m still in one piece. It looks worse than it feels, promise.” That was less than true, he was sure; in a few days, when the bruises turned a rainbow of colours it might be so, but for now? Now, the hurts were a little too tender, a little too fresh. Still, he couldn’t help but chuckle at her analogy; if he was being totally honest, he might admit that his run-in with Caine felt a little bit like what he imagined being run over by a truck did. At least it was just physical injuries, and he didn’t have an accompanying hangover. “So you shoulda kept this from your brother?” Sean asked, brows raised. She had every right to tell the people who mattered to her what he’d done, he knew, and even more than that, he had no desire to be the reason any more distance grew between the siblings than what existed there already. “You deserve to be able to tell him stuff.” And he could handle, or at least survive, everything Caine had flung his way. Besides, Micah was worth it; she was more than worth it. He ached to reach out, to lift her chin so she looked him in the eye, but her hand dropping from his face had reminded him, forcibly, that despite everything he felt, despite the conversation they’d started over the phone, Micah had asked for space. Had asked that they talk. “I ain’t lying,” he said sincerely. “You look good.” As she went on, though, he shook his head. “And you don’t have to dress up to make me regret what I did. I do that every day.”

MICAH. “Somehow that does very little to ease my mind,” she told him with a weak smile, her eyes scanning the many bruises on his face. Lucky for him, he had Sydney around to take care of him, but she couldn’t help but feel like she was the one who should’ve been there. Even now, she had to fight the urge to march into Syd’s kitchen to fetch some ice. “Regardless, I’m so sorry about all this. If it makes you feel any better, I yelled at him more loudly than I’ve ever yelled at anyone.” Caine was already forgiven, and Sean probably knew that, but that didn’t mean he was done hearing about it. Despite his questionable methods, Micah had no doubt that Caine had done what he did because he loved her in his own, weird way. “If I hadn’t said anything, you wouldn’t be looking like…this right now. Although, you kind of pull it off somehow,” she admitted, risking a glance at him. Despite everything, she still found herself pulled towards him and fighting the urge to reach out to him. She kept needing to remind herself that she was here to talk. “Still, I’m so sorry. Please tell me your sister doesn’t hate me.” Sean was as biased as ever, but she still forced herself to look up at him after he insisted she didn’t look as bad as she imagined. “I’m sorry it took me so long to show up. I just needed time to think about everything,” she explained, although that wasn’t all she was doing. “I was also trying to get over you. I think you can tell that didn’t work out so well.”

SEAN. “It should,” Sean softly. “I’ll be good as new before you know it.” Her brother hadn’t managed to do any permanent damage, ultimately. “And I promise, you don’t have anything to be sorry for. Seriously, Micah.” It warmed his heart that she was so concerned, but he hated to see her so patently guilty when really, he was the guilty party. Because if he hadn’t fucked up, if he hadn’t hurt Micah, then none of the rest of it would’ve happened. Still, he chuckled weakly as she went on. “You know, that does make me feel a little better. Though I kinda wish I’d been a fly on the wall for that one.” Truthfully, as dramatic as he’d seen her be on occasion, he couldn’t imagine her as much of a yeller — she hadn’t yelled at him that night on the beach, and he’d absolutely deserved it, far more than her brother did. “And if I hadn’t hurt you in the first place, I wouldn’t look like this, either,” he countered, giving voice to his earlier thoughts. A pleased flush rose in his cheeks at her compliment, and he couldn’t deny the hope he found in it. “Thanks. I, uh, well, I hope it doesn’t become a regular thing, though.” Because even if he did ‘pull off’ the barely-survived-getting-beat-up look, he’d much rather never sport it again; it wasn’t worth the worry laced in Micah’s expression. “You really think you’re the one Syd hates in this situation? No. No, come on. Not even a little.” Maybe he shouldn’t be speaking for his sister, but the last thing he wanted was to add to the worry Micah was feeling. He sighed at her apology, shaking his head. “I didn’t know if you were gonna call, or if I shoulda called, or-” It seemed communication had failed them, once again. And he didn’t know what to say to the rest of it. That she had been trying to get over him. That she hadn’t been able to. His heart was pounding in his chest, uneven beats. “Let’s- Do you wanna come in?”

MICAH. “I hope so. Can’t have you looking like this for the holidays. Your mother hasn’t seen you yet, has she?” She asked, her worry obvious. Sydney might not hate her for this, but she was scared his mother might not be so rational about the whole thing. Also, she kind of feared for Caine’s safety if she were to find out about it. “So, you keep saying. I still feel bad, though.” Micah, on the other hand, was very pleased that he hadn’t seen her little outburst. It wasn’t something she wanted him to ever witness—the whole thing was just very unlike her. “You really don’t, trust me. It was all very dramatic. He’s lucky he’s the only family I have.” He was also the only person she would ever feel comfortable enough to yell at, which was weirdly a sign that things had gotten significantly better between the siblings. “Not every girl’s brother would do this when their little sister is wronged,” she pointed out, the corner of her lips lifting slightly. Not every broken-hearted girl had a brother in a motorcycle club what was she really meant. “It won’t, if my brother knows what’s good for him.” The blonde exhaled sharply, relief washing over her. Sydney was one of her closest (and only) friends. Losing both Fitzpatrick siblings in one blow was something she didn’t even want to consider. “I think the ball was in my court. I’ve been putting it off. I guess I just didn’t know how to deal with all this,” she said with a deep sigh. She nodded when he offered that she come inside, the choice an easy one for once. If the time spent apart had told her anything, it was that these feelings weren’t going away on their own. “Yeah, I’d like that.” She walked past him into Syd’s apartment, shrugging off the coat that sat crooked on her shoulders.

SEAN. “No, Ma hasn’t seen me yet,” Sean admitted, his chuckle breaking off abruptly with a wince he tried to hide. It wouldn’t exactly help his argument that he was fine, or as good as, for Micah to see how much pain even laughing too hard caused him. “And I’ve been lyin’ low, so hopefully she hasn’t heard about it from someone else, either.” That surely wouldn’t help his goal of minimising his mother’s worry. There was something in Micah’s expression, though, that told him she wasn’t just asking because she knew his mother worried about him; there was another layer of concern in her gaze. And rather than trying to guess, he asked, “Why?” He shook his head; he knew he couldn’t stop Micah from feeling bad, even though he wanted to, and there were things he’d rather do than keep trying. “I do trust you, but—” he broke off with a shrug. Because even though he really did want to see it; want to see and know every side, every part of Micah, he couldn’t deny that maybe he didn’t have a right to that, any more. “You say that like I didn’t punch Reeves for what he did to Syd,” Sean said carefully. He certainly didn’t have the jacket Caine did; he’d even crossed it, in a way, going for Lucas as he had, but there was unquestionably a difference between the conversation he’d had with Lucas, and the one he’d had with Caine, and not just because the roles were reversed. Biting his lip to keep from suggesting that perhaps her brother didn’t know what was good for him, Sean shrugged; at this point, it wasn’t just Caine he was worried about. The rest of the club had no reason to be fond of him, either, and more than one reason to feel the opposite, in fact. “I get that.” And he did; despite the advice he’d gotten from all sides, he still didn’t know how to deal with what he’d done, and the fact that he’d hurt Micah. The fact that he’d been too blind to see how much he loved her. Stepping away from the door slightly so she could get past him, Sean closed the door behind her, hoping she wouldn’t notice how slowly he was moving. “You want anything to drink?”

MICAH. “Oh, good. That’s, yeah, good,” she said with a nod, trying to appear nonchalant. How could she explain to him that she was worried about his mother’s approval without also explaining why exactly his mother’s approval mattered at all. It would mean admitting that maybe she could see the two of them patching things up, that his mother’s opinion of her might change things in the long run. “I don’t want her to hate me. It’d make, you know, us trying again even harder than it probably already will be.” Did that mean she was giving him another chance? Probably—not that she had given it much more thought than that. She was so worried when she heard of what happened that she just ran here without giving much thought of what her showing up like this meant after everything. “But what? You want to see me attempting to look scary. I promise it’s not a very impressive sight.” She chuckled when she remembered Sean had done pretty much the same thing Caine had (on a different scale). “Fair enough. It looks like Caine did a bit more damage than the black eye you gave Lucas, though,” she pointed out, her knuckles brushing over his cheek once more. Never in her life had she felt so unsure of herself around Sean. She wanted to reach out like she usually did, to touch him. But that wasn’t quite appropriate anymore, was it? She kept fiddling with a loose thread on her jeans, anything to occupy her hands while he stood so close to her. “Hm, no. I’m okay for now. I should probably be sober for this. Unless you meant water. In which case, maybe I’ll have a glass.”

SEAN. “If the bruise doesn’t fade by Sunday-” And Sean wasn’t a complete idiot, he knew it wouldn’t, “-I’m kinda tempted to ask Syd to put concealer on it.” Except, of course, for the fact that lying, hiding things, it hadn’t served him well since coming home. Hadn’t served him well ever, actually, but this certainly wasn’t the time to start hiding things, particularly not from his family. Not even the things that would worry his mother, that might upset her. “She isn’t gonna—” Sean broke off, abruptly, as the rest of Micah’s statement sunk in. It had been one thing to have her answer the phone the month before, and even to have her show up now, when he was injured at her brother’s hand. It was another to have her say it so baldly: us trying again. And not as a possibility, but as an eventuality. His mouth went dry, and he swallowed. “You think it’d be hard? To try—” He didn’t want to say again, because before, he hadn’t been trying, not really, not the way Micah deserved. “Yeah, I do,” he confirmed with a smile. Funny how she knew him so well, even after everything. “And I don’t care if it’s impressive, that’s not— I’d still like to see it.” “Yeah, well.” He shrugged, unable to deny her assessment. He’d only thrown a single punch at Lucas; he’d taken far more than that from Caine. No surprise which had caused more damage. His breathing grew less than steady as her knuckles brushed his cheek, and he wanted to lean into her touch, wanted to step closer, but he could only stand perfectly still, eyes following every flicker in her expression. “I meant water,” he said with another soft chuckle. “Or coffee, or— I want us to talk sober, too.” He still felt a little flush of embarrassment that he’d been so drunk the last time they spoke. At all the things he’d almost admitted when they would’ve done more harm than good. “Couch or table?” he asked as he grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water.

MICAH. “Not to burst your bubble, but there’s just no way that’s fading by Sunday,” she said with guilty smile, as if she was to blame for all of it (in a way she felt that she was). “That could work. You know, if your mother doesn’t see right through it.” Micah had a feeling his mother was too smart to fall for such a common trick, but she was his mother and he probably knew better than she did what he could or couldn’t get away with. “I don’t know. I’ve never given anyone a second chance before. Never really given anyone a first really.” Sean was the first person she’d considered getting serious with in her life and look where that’d gotten them. “If I didn’t make it abundantly clear the first time around, I know nothing about being in a relationship.” Her inability to communicate like a real person was clearly her biggest problem, but she was certain the list was longer than just that. “I just hope you’re not on the receiving end of said tantrums then. Maybe you’ll be around next time I unleash my anger on Caine, though. I’m certain he’ll do something else to piss me off soon enough.” She couldn’t stop her mind from wandering to places it shouldn’t go at the mention of the table or the couch and she immediately cursed at herself for not staying on task. That wasn’t why she came here. “Table is good,” she said, hoping that would make it harder for her to not attack him with her mouth. She moved to one of the chairs, immediately noticing that the distance between them even here did nothing to distract her from what she really wanted to be doing. “So, hm, about what you said on the phone. That I was what you were missing…”

SEAN. “I know, I know,” Sean said with a small smile. “And you’re right— Ma’d probably see right through it.” He didn’t know the last time Micah had seen his mother, but some things didn’t change, and the fact that his mother was both too smart, and too much of a meddler, for him ever be able to hide something so big from her, certainly wasn’t one. He nodded slowly at her answer; he remembered clearly that conversation they’d had in his parents’ kitchen, remembered her telling him that she’d never really had a significant relationship. His stomach churned unpleasantly; if he’d thought the guilt he felt before was bad, it was a thousand times stronger with the reminder of just how much damage he’d done. “You— you were clear,” he said finally. He gave himself a little shake, then added, “For what it’s worth, I don’t think it’d be hard. If we were really— I don’t think it’d be hard at all.” He was fairly certain, in fact, that it would be the easiest relationship he’d ever had. With the way he felt, with the connection they shared, there was no it could anything else. “I really hope so, too,” and the corner of his mouth quirked in a smile. “For both of those, actually. Not your brother pissing you off, but—” There was a pregnant pause after his question, and Sean mentally cursed himself; it sounded a lot dirtier than he’d meant it to, and so he was glad that Micah said table; maybe having the physical barrier between them wouldn’t be such a bad idea. He slid the glass of water across the table to her, and lowered himself into the other chair, silently glad they weren’t going to beat around the bush any further. “You’re still what’s missing. That hasn’t— that hasn’t changed. Isn’t going to change. I love you, Micah.”

MICAH. “Yeah, she seems way too smart to fall for a little makeup. Not to mention she can probably tell right away when you’re lying,” she pointed out with a knowing grin. When she was little and didn’t know any better, Micah was convinced his mother literally had a bullshit detector hidden somewhere in her house. She never fell for her innocent smile and a few bats of her eyelashes like most adults did back then. “Right. I was clear but it still wasn’t enough for you to stop seeing this other girl.” She told herself it was a classic case of not realizing what you had, what you wanted until it’s gone, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. “I know what you mean. I think it could be easy too, if we did a better job at communicating and all that shit I’m terrible at.” They were both terrible at, she wanted to say, but figured adding another layer of guilt wasn’t what she wanted to do when they were talking about giving their relationship a second chance. “I’m scared. I’m scared I’m not enough for you and you just haven’t realized it yet. She took a sip of the water when he pushed the glass in front of her, but the water didn’t stay in her mouth very long. As unclassy as ever, the blonde spit some of it out when she heard the word ‘love’ come out of his mouth. She immediately wiped it away with the back of her hand, hopping off the chair just as quickly and moving between his legs. She grabbed his face and kissed him hard for a few seconds. “You couldn’t figure that out sooner, huh?” She asked with a glare, despite having just kissed him. “If I give you another chance, you can’t do that again. You know, break my heart.”

SEAN. His gaze dropped from hers as she mentioned the other girl, unable to argue with this, either. He’d known better, known that Micah was inexperienced when it came to relationships. He’d even known, on some level, that what he felt for her wasn’t platonic, or fleeting, and still, he hadn’t been able to do what was right. He’d failed her then, but she deserved more than his guilty silence now, so Sean took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes. “I’m sorry that I did. So, incredibly sorry. And I’m sorry that I made assumptions that— You were clear about your history, and I thought, I thought I was gonna be something else that was fleeting for you. I thought we’d get it out of our systems and then we’d be friends, but I was wrong. I was so wrong, Micah. And it took me way too long to realise how wrong I was.” Would it matter, now? Was it too much, telling her what he’d been thinking, flawed as it was? “I coulda asked you a thousand times what we were doing. If you wanted to be exclusive. If you cared that I-” He broke off, shaking his head. “You weren’t the only one who was bad at communicating.” And really, it had been his responsibility from the start. “I know it’s hard to believe me, but you are enough. You are everything I want, you are all I want. The only figuring out I had to do was realisin’ that. And I’d started to, when you said you weren’t seein’ anyone else.” The moment he wanted so desperately to be able to say the same. Sean wasn’t quite sure what he’d expected Micah to say, or do, at those three oh-so-important words, but a literal spit take? That didn’t even make the list. His confession seemed to echo in the apartment around them, and then she pushed back her chair, the scrape nearly as loud, and Sean half-turned in his seat, gaze locked on Micah as she crossed around the table. As she stepped right between his legs. As she took his face in her hands. As she pressed her lips to his. And then his hands were on her ass and he was kissing her back. She didn’t linger long, but he was still breathing hard when she drew back far enough to speak, and Sean gave her a half-smile. “I wish I had.” One hand moved to stroke her cheek, the other stayed where it was, keeping her close. “If you give me another chance, it’ll be different. And I promise, Micah, I’m never gonna hurt you again.”

MICAH. Micah couldn’t fault him for his logic. She told herself the same thing he did at first—that they were just getting it out of their systems, that soon enough she’d get bored with their fling as she got bored with everything else in her life. But soon their one-time thing turned out into a regular thing. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months and quickly they were seeing each other every other day. It took her a lot less time than him to realize that his crush on him wasn’t fleeting and wasn’t just a crush. It was much more than that. “I don’t want you to keep apologizing, that’s not what this is about. You’ve said you were sorry more than enough times. I just want you to be sure—that this is what you want. I have enough people in my life making me feel unlovable.” Unknowingly, Sean had done exactly what her father had done her whole life. It made it that much harder for her to get over what he did, to finally work up the courage to answer the phone or just come here today. “Okay. We can do better this time around. We can be honest about what we want and where we see this going. Going with the flow just doesn’t work for us.” Her hands were on him, finally, and she had no intention of letting go of him anytime soon. They had wasted enough time. She raked her fingers through his short hair, stopping herself from just kissing him again long enough for them to get the important stuff out of the way. She nodded when he made a promise she worried he wouldn’t be able to keep. Despite her doubts, she was willing to give him another chance because she loved him too. She’d known that for a while now. “You better not. I might let my brother break your legs if you do,” she said with a playful grin, her lips brushing against his. “And I love you too, Sean.”

SEAN. It didn’t escape Sean’s notice that for all the apologies he’d offered, Micah hadn’t accepted a single one. He wasn’t sure he deserved her forgiveness, but he wasn’t sure what they were doing if she couldn’t give it. And if she didn’t want him apologising, what did she want? What did she need? He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “If that’s what you want, I won’t keep apologisin’.” He still felt unsettled about it, though, that was undeniable. He dropped his hand to the table, taking a deep breath. “And I am sure. I’m sure I want you. I’m sure I want to date you, and only you, and I want—” He bit his lip and ducked his head. He’d practically told her already, when he was drunk, but the fact that Micah had shown up, that she’d been concerned about him, that she was talking about trying again, none of that meant she trusted him enough to do what he really wanted. And he couldn’t blame her, but that didn’t make it any easier to balance telling her the truth (the whole truth this time around,) and not putting too much on her shoulders. “You’re so loveable, Micah.” His hands twisted together; anything to keep from reaching across the table for her. “Goin’ with the flow wasn’t the problem,” he said with a shake of his head. “It was not talkin’ about the flow. Not bein’ open about what we wanted and what we were doin’.” Sean’s eyes fluttered shut as Micah ran her hands through his hair, his lips parting slightly. He didn’t know how such a simple touch could affect him so deeply, but it did, and he wanted nothing more than her lips on his. There was more to say, though; more to make clear, and he sighed, gaze meeting hers once more. “If I ever hurt you again, I’d deserve it,” he said quietly, no teasing in his voice. He didn’t want Micah to doubt his sincerity any more than she might be already. That brush of her lips sent a shock of want through him, and he was leaning in, chasing her kiss, when she spoke again, and he stilled in an instant. “You do?” His voice trembled, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, not when he couldn’t quite believe his ears.

MICAH. It wasn’t about her needing apologies at this point. Her presence here was forgiveness enough and she hoped he could see that. “It is what I want. When I say I don’t need any more apologies I mean to say you’re forgiven. You’ve been forgiven for a bit now, I think,” she admitted with a shrug. Beth had helped her see that Sean was deserving of a second chance, but her pride had stopped her from going back to him after their initial conversation. It seemed stupid to have wasted time now that she was here. “What else do you want? We’re past holding things back now, Sean. That’s what got us into trouble in the first place.” There was something he wasn’t telling her—probably the same thing he’d almost told her during his drunk phone call. “Tell that to my parents.” She wasn’t trying to make herself sound like the victim, but she knew that’s exactly what it sounded like. Her relationship with her father had given her shitty self-esteem. “You’re also very biased, Sean.” He put her on a pedestal, that much was clear to her, but she just couldn’t seem to understand why. She’d done nothing to deserve it. “We can do better, right? We’re good together. I have fun with you and you’re so, so patient with me. More patient than anyone’s ever been.” He seemed to like every part of her, even the ones people usually got annoyed with. His reaction to her touch only made her want him more, made her want to touch every single inch of him. Her hands slid down his chest, itching to feel his bare skin since she hadn’t in so long. “Yeah, you would,” she said with a grin, kissing him again. She would never tell her brother (or anyone) to hurt Sean, but it felt necessary to lighten the mood given the state of his face. She dragged her lips over his jawline until they reached his neck, nibbling on the spot she knew was particularly sensitive. “I do,” she whispered against his skin.

SEAN. “Oh.” Sean felt a little stupider than normal for having failed to realise that Micah showing up? That meant he was forgiven. And maybe he should’ve been frustrated that it had taken her so long to tell him — that it had taken him getting beat up by her brother for her to tell him — but all he felt was relief that he had her forgiveness at all. That all the complications he’d been imagining weren’t anything he had to worry about, after all. “Okay,” he said, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Okay.” Maybe it wouldn’t be complicated, after all. If he could just follow through on everything he’d said and stop holding back, that is. He took a deep breath, then another. Even though he was scared of messing up their tentative reconciliation, she was right, and he knew it. The only way they could possibly work was if he stopped holding back, no matter the reason. “I want to move in with you, Micah. I want us to find a place together, I— I want to wake up next to you every morning and come home to you every night and live with you durin’ the hours in-between.” He shook his head — if he thought it’d do any good, he’d do just that, but he doubted either of Micah’s parents would be influenced by how highly he thought of her, or how much he loved her. “I ain’t biased,” he said staunchly. Maybe a point he’d never be able to convince her of, but he’d try. “Thinkin’ you’re fun and one of the best people I know and strong and a little dramatic sometimes — that doesn’t make me biased.” He ached, more than ever, to reach across the table, to take her hands in his, but instead he nodded at her question. “I know we can do much better. We’re— we’re great together.” The drag of her hands down his torso made Sean wish she was touching him, touching his bare skin, not through his shirt. But he’d take it, take any piece of closeness he could get. And with the teasing grin Micah gave him, he couldn’t do anything but grin back, his eyes crinkling before he returned her kiss, tugging her shirt free so he could slide his hands beneath it. His touch was hungry; possessive; it had been too long since he’d kissed her, let alone had his hands on her bare skin, and he couldn’t get enough. Then she was kissing his jaw, his neck, and Sean’s head tilted back, giving her better access, until she reached the spot that drove him crazy. A strangled curse left his lips, his hand tangling in her hair. “Micah.” A plea, a promise; he dragged her lips back up to his, kissing her deeply.

MICAH. Maybe the hidden meaning behind her presence wasn’t as obvious as she first thought. Once again, she was proving just how terrible she was at communicating. “For the sake of communication, I’m going to spell it out: you’re forgiven. I wish I’d said it before Caine had a go at your face,” she said with an apologetic smile, giving one of his many bruises a gentle kiss. She expected a lot from this reunion--tears, kissing and most likely make-up sex knowing their tracks record. A proposal to move in together, however? That never made the list. She stared at him for a few seconds, stunned but not in a bad way. After moving around from one friend’s house to another, she couldn’t stress how appealing his offer was. Not to mention she couldn’t imagine wanting something more than to share a living space with Sean. Her best friend, the man she loved. What better way to make up for the time they’d lost than to move in together? Snapping out of her initial shock, she grabbed his arms tightly and shook him excitedly. “Yes, yes! Can we get one of those really fluffy mattresses like the ones they have in hotels? Oh, we also need a really big bath that we can both fit into. And a balcony where I can go out and read!” She was getting ahead of herself, in true Micah fashion, but she couldn’t stop herself now that she had started imagining what kind of place that could be right for them. “It makes you so biased. You saying I’m a ‘little’ dramatic proves my point. We both know I’m a lot dramatic.” And unapologetically so. Sean had to know what he was getting into at this point. “We are. I wasn’t much of a romantic before that night we ran into each other on the beach, but now… I kind of think it was fate. For us to find each other again after all that time. Being with you… it feels like coming home.” She was breathless, heat rushing to her core as his hands slid under her shirt and onto her bare skin. She should slow down, take the time to catch her breath, but she couldn’t get enough of him, of his touch, of his lips. His fingers grabbed onto her in a way that made her want to drop her panties on the spot and made it impossible for her to hold back a soft groan. She gladly let him pull her back to his lips, her own parting as her fingers curled through his short hair. “Where can we…,” she said against his lips, her words muffled, not bothering to finish her sentence.

SEAN. His lips quirked, and even though Sean had cleaned her meaning by then, there was still a part of him that needed that clarity, after so many false assumptions and miscommunications between them. “Thank you. For spellin’ it out for me.” Wincing at the mention of her brother, (and not her lips on his bruised skin,) he shook his head slowly. “I’m just glad I know now.” His mistakes, hers; he was content to leave them in the past. All that mattered was that they learned from them, and he knew they already were; were already trying to do better for each other than they had before. Sean’s heart pounded as Micah went wide-eyed, staring at him silently. She didn’t have to say anything for him to know she hadn’t expected this, despite his clumsy drunken hints a few weeks before. But before he could start to worry he’d asked too much her whole face lit up. Then she’d grabbed his arms and he took hold of her elbows, grinning both at her excited rambling and at the enthusiastic yes she’d given him. “Yes to the mattress, we can go shoppin’ as soon as we find a place, absolutely to the balcony—” he’d become familiar enough with available real estate over the past few months to know balconies were fairly easy to come by. Her other request, though, made his heart clench, and he wished suddenly they were a whole lot less clothed. “—And as for the bathtub …” his voice became a low, suggestive, rumble, “Are you tellin’ me we’re gonna have to test that out every place we go see?” He didn’t mind the idea, not in the slightest, even though he hoped they wouldn’t have to see too many apartments before finding the right one. He didn’t want to waste any more time now that Micah was back in his life, and he had no reason to linger on his sister’s couch. Chuckling, he countered, “I only said little so you’d be all dramatic about bein’ dramatic. I know you, Micah, and I love you, extremely dramatic parts and all.” And then, softer— “I kinda think it was fate, too.” He was sorry he’d misread the signs, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it now. “You make me feel like myself. The best version of myself, the guy I want to be, and I— I want to keep makin’ you feel like comin’ home.” Micah’s quiet groan went right through Sean, and he was beyond glad as her lips parted and he could kiss her as fully as he wanted. Maybe they were rushing, but with the urgency pounding in his veins, he had no desire to pause, or wait, not for a single second. “Couch,” he answered without really thinking about it, though he had enough presence of mind to say, “Condoms in the red duffle. Just—” Given how hard he was already, (and how long it had been since he’d had sex; two months might not be that long, but it was longer than he’d gone in a very long time) he knew he was in danger of embarrasing himself, of not lasting very long at all. That, coupled with his injuries … “Go easy on me.”

MICAH. She chuckled at the ridiculousness of the situation, giving him a quick peck once he was done thanking her. “Hey, we said we would make an effort to communicate better. I figured I’d get the ball rolling right away,” she said quietly, glad to be putting this whole thing behind her finally. Her life had felt incomplete since that day on the beach and she could already feel things getting better. First, he was back in her life and, second, he was providing what was possibly the best possible solution to her lack of apartment. She stepped between his legs when he grabbed her elbows, wanting to be as close as humanly possible to him in this very moment. “Oh my god, I have so many ideas! I hope you’re ready for days and days of shopping for furniture and decorations and everything we’re going to need. Like all your kitchen stuff, so you can cook for me like the good boyfriend you are.” Micah laughed at his suggestion, picturing the poor real estate agent that would have to witness the two of them getting frisky in every bathtub they encountered. “There’s no other way to make sure, is there? You’ll just have to keep your hands to yourself so we don’t embarrass whoever’s showing us the places.” The two of them keeping their hands to each other when the other one was close enough to touch was unlikely, so even if he ended up able to behave she most likely wouldn’t. “Well played, Sean. Well played. I wouldn’t be able to turn off the drama if I wanted to, so it’s a good thing you find it so endearing. I can safely say you might be the only one on earth who does.” Lucas couldn’t stand it and Caine put up with it only because they were blood-related and he had no other options. “Alright, enough with the cheesiness. I might just barf if we turn into one of those gross couples who can’t stop gushing about how in love they are.” Which they were, very obviously. They didn’t even have to say it for it to show, it was obvious in the way they looked at each other and the way they were always touching in some way. They already were that gross couple. “Honestly, I never thought I could have that effect on someone. I never thought I’d be the kind of person that would find something like this.” Especially not the first time she fell in love. She had somehow gotten so unbelievably lucky. Grinning, she pulled him by his hand and led him to the couch. After pushing him down and giving him a final kiss, she stepped away and took a step towards his duffel bag. “Take off your clothes,” she told him hurriedly, fishing the condoms out of his bag and throwing it his way before she started undressing properly. In a few seconds, her clothes were in a pile on the floor and she was straddling him again and working on undoing the small plastic envelope that was the last obstacle between the two of them. “I don’t know if I can do that.” She needed this just as badly as he did. It wasn’t even about just sex, it was about craving that closeness with him that she’d gone without for far too long now. Her lips found his again, kissing him hard as she put the condom on him. She still hadn’t broken the kiss when she lowered herself on his length, her breath catching in her throat. She let out a soft gasp, her fingers digging in his shoulders as she adjusted to him. “I missed you.”

SEAN. “It’s a good thing,” Sean replied, his voice equally soft. “You makin’ a start right away. And for the sake of improved communication: you’re wicked hot when you’re settin’ that kinda example and I’m gonna kiss you now.” He proceeded to do just that, smirking slightly as he drew back. Widening his stance so Micah could stand closer to him, he couldn’t help but chuckle at her enthusiasm. He was more than ready for those days and days of shopping; for helping Micah pick through available options for everything from picture frames to sofas. His kitchen stuff, at least, didn’t require many additions; what he wasn’t using at Sydney’s was boxed in his room at his parents, and though he’d always like new toys, they were set in terms of pots and pans and utensils. It was her descriptor he latched onto, and he straightened slightly as he asked, “Say that again.” The good boyfriend you are. He didn’t think anything had ever sounded so good. Sean shook his head at her suggestion — “How about we don’t have the real estate agent come on the walk-throughs with us? They’re always spoutin’ all kinds of shit, anyway—” Shit he knew, objectively, was probably useful, but sometimes the feel of a thing was more important than the year it had been built and remodelled and who’d lived there before you. “I can’t promise to keep my hands to myself testin’ out bathtubs.” And even if he could promise such a thing … well, he didn’t really want to. Not when he had full licence, now. Full licence to wrap Micah in his embrace, to rest his palms on her ass, to tease her with a gentle rock of his pelvis. “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he said smugly. “But I promise, I ain’t the only one who finds it endearing.” Whether Micah knew it or not, though he was quietly determined that she feel how loved she was — not only by him, but by the friends she held dear, too. “Nah, you like the cheesiness. You’re a romantic now and everything,” he teased, pressing fleeting kisses to her cheeks, her forehead, the tip of her nose, before returning to her lips for a kiss that didn’t linger nearly as long as he wanted it to. “We can put a pin in it, though, get back to that later …” Later, after he’d shown her in a very non-cheesy way just how much he meant everything he’d said. “But.” Taking hold of her hand, he curled her hand around his neck, his pulse jumping against her palm. “The effect you have on me— it’s everything, Micah.” It was physical, it was emotional, but moreso, it was the rare combination of the two. “It’s everything, and it’s real.” It wasn’t some fairytale movie ending; it was solid and true and lasting, of that much, he was certain. And despite all his experience, it wasn’t something he’d really found, either. “I’ve— I’ve never loved anybody like I love you.” Sean made a low noise in the back of his throat as Micah tugged him to his feet, and he followed the scant few feet to the couch, dropping to the cushions a little clumsily. But then her lips were on his, and he kissed her as soundly as he could before she drifted away. She didn’t have to explain for him to realise what she wanted, but he was glad she did it, anyway, as he tugged his shirt over his head, then lifted his hips and slid his sweatpants (and the boxers beneath them) down so they pooled around his ankles. It wasn’t as slick as he might’ve wanted (or even imagined; in the few times he’d allowed himself to fantasise about what it would be like, sleeping with Micah again — what he wanted to do if he ever got the chance.) Kicking away his pants, he smirked as he caught the oh-so-important packet. The expression slipped from his face as Micah stripped, though, replaced by what could only be called awe. “Beautiful. You’re so fuckin’ beautiful.” He’d missed naked Micah, missed the way her eyes sparkled as she straddled him. As she took the condom from his now-slack fingers. His hands skated along her sides, reverent in their touch. Even if she could go easy on him, he wasn’t sure that was what he really wanted, after all. “Okay,” he told her, leaning forward and kissing her bare shoulder. “Then don’t.” He wanted the honesty that was Micah doing exactly as she wanted with him; the intimacy that came from being as close as two people possibly could be. He had to close his eyes as Micah slid the condom on him, the combination of her touch and her searing kiss almost too much. But then she’d shifted, her hands on his shoulders, and his dug into her waist, knowing what was coming next. Even knowing, he almost forgot how to breathe as she sank onto him. “Mi- Micah.” They stayed like that for several long moments, and then he managed one breath, and another, and kissed her lips that were right there. “I missed you so much,” he whispered, the easing of his hands a silent request that she start moving before he exploded. “I missed—” and then he kissed her, the gesture far more eloquent than anything he could say.

#c: sean #idk what to tag this i'm useless

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lovebunnie · 6 years ago

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Do all the asks coward

1. what does your wallet look like?

-i got it as a present from my uncle for christmas and its really expensive but also so ugly im sorry uncle tom. its like that ‘southern fashion’ bullshit that white MAGA moms wear. but it was better than my old wallet, which looks like this and i got when i was 12:

2. favorite color?

- baby pinnk

3. do you own a pride flag, or more than one?

-heres the thing: my parents basically know im not straight but i havent told them. my brother has thought i was a lesbian since freshman year, i have a small pride pin on my backpack, ive never been on a date, its complicated. but no, i dont have one. maybe one day, hopefully.

4. describe your favorite outfit

-black pants, platform doc martens, hoodie under a jean jacket, one clip on earring, and holding my crushes hand :]

5. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter, and what’d she do?

-okay so theres this girl in my theatre class who is really cute, and she put her head on my shoulder and shes pagan so she drew a little sigil on my arm that means “safe and homely” so like :)))))))))))))

6. do you use nail polish?

-i do, i mostly do black tho

7. do you keep organized?

-absolutely. i have things online filed accordingly, i pick out my outfits the day before, my binders are neat, i learned how to army fold my shirts, i keep my shit CLEAN

8. ever take naps?

-only accidentally. ill be laying in bed watching youtube and next thing you know my autoplay has me watching a markiplier video even tho i dont like him and its 4 hours later

9. who was your first crush?

-idk if this is a real person or not so ill do both. my first fake person crush was either troy from high school musical or frankie stein from monster high. and my first real crush was on a boy named dominic in elementary school. i told him i liked him at the end of 5th grade because i thought i was switching schools but then i didnt and we never spoke again.

10. what are your crush tendencies? fall hard or often?

-both both both. i am the worst with crushes. i have crushes all the time because im romantic and a fucking fool. i have 3 crushes off the top of my head rn and i like them all for different reasons. thats not to say that i want to date them, but its that i like them a lot and i kinda wanna kiss their cheek or hold their hand idk

11. describe your ideal day

-play overwatch with my best friend (u gonble >:) ) then hang out with my cat, go get a smoothie, buy some cool shoes or something, take a shower and be asleep by 9 :,)

12. describe your ideal date

-i have stated that build a bear is an amazing first date and im NOT BACKING DOWN. ITS CUTE AS FUCK AND ILL ACCEPT NOTHING LESS!!

13. whats your favorite food?

-either sushi or strawberries :3c

14. who do you feel most comfortable around?

-my theatre class, people from camp, and gobble

15. what is your favorite compliment to receive?

-i dont have a favorite, any and all are going to make my face go red so i have to cover it and maybe make me cry

16. did you/do you like highschool?

-the first 3 years fucking sucked but senior year has been amazing so far. mostly because i just kinda stopped giving a fuck but its amazing

17. favorite animal?

-i think its cats now. i really like cats

18. do you like your name?

-eh, its okay. its pretty but also it seems like there are 60 million fucking people named grace and its so annoying. i wish it was something more unique idk

19. what kind of weather is your favorite?

-a light rain. no swinging trees or thunder, just lots of rain. its nice to stay inside and feel secure

20. do you believe in horoscopes?

-absolutely not. but theyre fun if you like them

21. tell us about your music taste

-its horrific. to sum it up, my two favorite musicians are the gorillaz and frank sinatra. take from that what you will

22. have you had your first kiss? if so, what was it like?

-i havent had my first kiss yet. gonna be honest, i felt like i was going to, a few times at camp and recently when classes ended. but yeah, nothing yet

23. did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a kid?

-i went thro cycles of favorites. but one ive had for years is a plush shadow the hedgehog from universal studios i got when i was 6. i used to carry him around, even to a pool once

24. what time do you usually wake up and go to bed?

-if you know me, you know i go to bed ridiculously early. i usually get tried at around 6pm and fall asleep between 7:45 and 8:30. and i always wake up before 6 am. i havent slept past 6 am continuously since the end of junior year. please help me

25. what dream trip would you take with your wife?

-maybe to go explore new york, just the two of us that sounds like fun :]

26. do you have any pets?

-i have 2 dogs and a cat. the family owns the dogs but that cat is mine

27. what pair of underwear is your favorite?

-uhhhhhhhhhhh i have some with rainbows that are cool? i dont have favorites, none of them are cute anyway

28. what makes you smile?

-funny jokes make me smile real hard, and if you compliment me at the right time, i kind of pull my legs up and hide my face? its cute and charming i promise

29. what makes you feel heavy?

-in both the physical and metaphorical sense, eating bread

30. what makes you feel better?

-watching bo burnham always makes me feel better, hes my go to whenever im really depressed

31. how do you show your love?

-i show my love in everything i do. everything i do is for love, i love love so much its sickening

32. when is it time to get a haircut?

-whenever u want to lol?

33. where would you live if you could live anywhere?

-maybe san francisco, its beautiful and i love the city

34. do your friends and family take good care of you?

-as much as i allow them to. sometimes i go days without communicating and i know thats annoying but my friends put up with it (they shouldnt have to, i know) and my family is okay. its cliche to say, but they honestly dont understand what im going thro alot of the times, esp with my anxiety and shit

35. have you always used the labels you use now?

-back in the beginning of highschool, i used they/them pronouns and identified as asexual/aromantic. eventually, it didnt feel right, so i know identify as cis and bisexual and that feels right to me

36. what makes you laugh?

-my friends, when people shit talk gobble and i in overwatch even tho???? we didnt know him?????? and the mcelroys always get me

37. who is your favorite fictional character?

-too many options, see list here

38. who do yo admire?

-my father when hes not threatening to throw my phone into a fucking lake and my friends for putting up with me

39. describe yourself in three words

-i am baby

40. how long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

-usually about 45 min, more or less as each day goes

41. what do you wish you could tell your younger self?

-listen: STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN, BE YOURSELF. STOP HIDING AND BEING SCARED OF YOURSELF, BE GENUINE!!!!

42. what would you do if you win the lottery?

-get my parents settled, see about other family members, and then distribute the money to charities accordingly, starting with flint and getting them water

43. would you call yourself a romantic?

-yes

44. what is your gayest childhood memory?

-my mom had cosmos magazines

45. do you have tattoos or want any?

-i dont have any tattoos but ive been obsessed with them since the 6th grade. id love to get tattoos, i just dont know what or where and also im afraid of pain

46. whats your worst habit?

-either biting my thumbs, starving myself, or ghosting my friends. prob ghosting my friends

47. what are you proud of?

-i guess coming out of my shell finally? idk, i actually have friends now and it feels amazing tbh. im in 5 group chats now. i havent been in a group chat since 6th grade. :))))))

48. did you know that youre actually a gift to the world, for real?

-hi i love you?

49. whats your favorite memory?

-there are so so many. but what comes to mind first is our dance night at camp where we all stood outside and i finally gave ian my tumblr and we all ran inside to dance to mr. brightside then ran outside again and we requested nightcore and rivers was fucking dancing their hearts out and we all sang along and im going to crying just typing this out

50. do you have a sweet tooth?

-i guess so. too much makes me feel like shit but i do really enjoy smarties

51. what do you like most about yourself?

-this is dumb, but my sense of style. since i got a job ive been wearing shit i actually like and its amazing. ill admit i have cool clothes

52. what makes you fall for a girl?

-besides acknowledging me, probably getting to know me and not like, putting me on a pedestal. idk its weird, ive met a lot of people this year who like to place me so high it feels like i cant make a mistake around them without disappointing them. idk, i want someone to call me out on my bullshit instead of assuring me im okay. i want to know what i do wrong so i can fix it

53. make a recommendation

-for what? uhh okay for music, listen to ‘clay pigeons’ by michael cera (yes i know michael cera) and for television, watch bojack horseman and for movies, watch the docuseries called ‘7 days out’ on netflix

54. have you ever had your heart broken?

-yeah, when i broke up with maddy because we werent ready to date. i cared and continue to care about her and i didnt want to hurt her but i knew its what we both needed. its what i needed, atleast. and i cant be a good girlfriend if i feel like im doing badly. but also ive had friends break my heart and family break my heart. but im okay now, this heart is ready to be broken again

55. when do you feel most yourself?

-def when i was at camp, that place is magical in the way it allows you to be yourself. but also when i talk to gobble because hes my best friend and when im at college, we can talk more and its gonna be dope as shit

56. name a gorgeous celeb

-jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal

57. what are some of your favorite songs this week?

-fake happy by paramore, im not okay (i promise) by my chemical romance, tomorrow comes today by gorillaz

58. tell us 2 or your biggest hopes and fears

-biggest hopes: i publish a book someday & i get a job doing something i love

-biggest fears: i end up homeless and broke & something horrific happens in college

59. what flavor chapstick/lipbalm is the best?

-raspberry i guess

60. are you okay?

-i answered a lot more honestly then i shouldve for some of these and i start new classes tomorrow so im feeling really anxious so im doing alright i guess.

gobble you test me but i do love you

#g0bbleb0ners #that took 90 minutes #also i got kinda real here.... :////////#whatever no one reads these things anyway

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pyojihoonmoved · 7 years ago

Note

0-44 owo

wow, this is payback isn’t it. okay let’s do it.

0: Height

5′11″

1: Age

21, 22 in a month i cry.

2: Shoe size

like… 9? 9.5??

3: Do you smoke?

no thanks.

4: Do you drink?

very rarely tbh.

5: Do you take drugs?

no thank u again

6: Age you get mistaken for

I don’t know? I usually am guessed to be my age or maybe a little older?

7: Have tattoos?

8: Want any tattoos?

yes please.

9: Got any piercings?

yes, just 2 in each lobe.

10: Want any piercings?

cartilage and maybe more, but i’ve tried my cartilage twice and they failed each time so idk.

11: Best friend?

you can’t make me name just a single one.

12: Relationship status

technically single but unavailable as hecc.

13: Biggest turn ons

yeah you’d like to know that wouldn’t you, ya nastea .

14: Biggest turn offs

🤔🤔🤔

15: Favorite movie

I don’t really have one??

16: I’ll love you if…

you feed me .

17: Someone you miss

no one, atm. well there is someone that comes to mind, a friend I had from middle school to high school

18: Most traumatic experience

I honestly can’t really… think of anything like outright… traumatic ? ? ? so lucky me.

19: A fact about your personality

i’m a pretty resilient person, ig?? i mean if smth gets me down or whatever i’m able to move on from it fairly quickly. there are better things to do than to sit and stress over some shit that happened that you can’t change.

20: What I hate most about myself

a n x i e t y.

21: What I love most about myself

I’m funny? ? ? at least I think so..

22: What I want to be when I get older

uhhh… still working on it lmao !

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

better than it used to be, since we’ve gotten older. then again, it was never really bad to begin with, but you know how siblings are with each other when they’re kids. like one time i threw my heavy ass binder at my brother when we got onto the school bus and it hit him in the back bc he was talking shit bout my best friend at the time LMFAO. i was like 10?? at the time?? maybe 11? and he was 12/13?? good times lmao.

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

it’s neither here nor there? so i guess its a good one? I don’t really feel comfortable talking to them about anything but we don’t fight anymore so it’s cool.

25: My idea of a perfect date

you know in all my 21 years of life this is something i’ve never sat down and actually thought about and visualized? i think just being with the person I like and spending time together and enjoying each other’s company is enough to make the date perfect.

26: My biggest pet peeves

when people smack their food/gum loudly!!! holy shit!! or when people wanna leave ur door open when they leave. being late as a result of other people like i can’t stand being late . people who ask you what y’all should get for a meal then say ew when you pitch ideas, even though they hadn’t contributed in any other way besides “hey what do y’all want” and “ew”. anw i’ll end that there i could go on all day LMAO.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

WOW where to even. pushing aside like obvious things about how cute/hot she is bc like she’s all of those things (((im very gay))), she’s makes me laugh, makes me feel better when I’m feeling bad mostly over stupid shit, and idk, i feel comfortable with her, to where i can talk to her freely and discuss how i’m feeling without being made out to be the bad guy or anything like that. i could spend literally 24/8 talking to her without getting tired of it, which is saying something because there are very few people I can just not only consistently talk to but like look forward to talking to them on the daily. 12312/10 do not regret liking. she’s a very important person to me and even if things don’t go further than where they are now, I’d be okay with that as long as I still have her in my life. and i hope she knows how much i love her and one day believes she’s every bit of important as i think and make her out to be because she is, maybe even moreso.

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

honestly there isn’t anyone that I like… severely dislike?? people do shit that annoys me and what not but idk there’s no deep seated hatred, only annoyance. ig if I had to answer then the description would be someone that needs to grow the fuck up lmao anw.

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

I don’t think i’ve ever lied over something serious. like the only time I ever lie is when i make up excuses for why I can’t hang out or whatever, and thats only if they’re not a close friend. if they’re a close friend I usually just tell them straight up lmao hey nah im not feeling it.

30: What I hate the most about work/school

school since I’m in it right now, uhhh. everything lmfao. but specifically that’d be the fact that my class starts at 8am. and the textbooks are boring af.

31: What my last text message says

tbh idk bc i delete mine daily and sometimes several times daily so whatever I said last or someone said to me last it isn’t there.

32: What words upset me the most

“card declined” :(((

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

honestly any compliment makes me like c: but when people tell me i’m funny/have a good sense of humor i’m like extra cccccc:

34: What I find attractive in women

everything . i’m gay. i fucking love girls.

35: What I find attractive in men

are they pyo jihoon? if not then nothing lmao .

36: Where I would like to live

I mean?? I don’t know?? I’m good with anywhere as long as I’m allowed to have pets and it’s like, you know. a decent place.

37: One of my insecurities

tbh I’ve been feeling a little insecure about my weight again these days. and it’s not like I’m really overweight or anything, like not at all. I’m pretty sure I’ve got a normal BMI or whatever for my age but. i got a lot of shit when i was younger for being overweight, mostly from my brother and his friends and even the rest of my family and so on, so i’m a bit ehhh about it.

38: My childhood career choice

I don’t remember?? I think I wanted to either work with the police or be a lawyer or something, I don’t know.

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

cookie two step by my love blue bell. aka cookies and cream combined with chocolate chip cookie dough

40: Who I wish I could be

uhhhhhh. i don’t know?? I’m alright w/being myself, idk.

41: Where I want to be right now

at home, with blu.

42: The last thing I ate

chick-fil-a. which was several hours ago so i should probabaly make myself food.

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

@pushzeen ;)))))

44: A random fact about anything.

UHHHH. UHMMMM. i.... used to want to learn how to sew?? my grandma even bought me a sewing machine when i was in like 5th grade so i could learn, and we started off by making barbie clothes but then family drama happened so i didn’t see her for years. and then a few years back everyone started talking again and so she gave me that sewing machine to take home with me but??? a bitch still can’t sew cause she has no idea what she’s doing on her own lmao. so it’s just chilling in my closet.

#answered #pushzeen #zayra

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actualltr4sh · 6 years ago

Text

alright its time for another of these

1. describe yourself. i’m 5′4. i’m goofy when i feel like it. i’m pretty sarcastic or condescending depending on the mood of the receiver. i’m smart, but not on paper. i’m creative. and i’m a hot young ebony. *finger guns*

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be? antigua & barbuda. it’s where my dad is from and i neeeeed to be an island girl for like two seconds pls.

3. do you have siblings? 4 sisters 1 brother.

4. what is your favorite constellation, why? do not have.

5. favorite color. black.

6. what kind of music do you listen to? i like R&B, early 2000′s or that shit that’s pretty mainstream but everybody swear is lowkey (SZA, Kelela, Daniel Caesar, whoever idk). i like pop punk or alternative a lot too. florence & the machine saved me. or modern baseball, the front bottoms. whatever.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome) i like roses. i literally have one one my arm so.

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn? probably an invisibility spell. it seems simple and like the first thing you should do lol.

9. favorite childhood memory. wow i’ve never thought about this. there was this one christmas where they let me open all my gifts at 12. i got my nintendo DS that year and i remember hearing ‘you are my rock’ by beyonce for the first time.

10. have you ever been cheated on? ish. it sucked. he broke my heart lol.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be? it’s currently my living room. it’s really cool. actually it’d be more perfect if there was more shit on the wall. but it’s a couch and a playstation and a big tv. it’s lit.

12. favorite animal. owls. ravens. crows. i’m terrified of birds though lmao.

13. what was the last photo you took of? a board in a classroom for this project.

14. do you believe in soul mates? absolutely. i’ve had the pleasure of meeting a few.

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under? i let that shit do what it do.

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there. i love texas roadhouse but i try something new whenever i go. chilis i get cajun chicken pasta though. no tomatoes cus i’m not a crazy person.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason? sometimes. i do think shit just be happening though.

18. guilty pressures? what?

19. favorite mythical creature, why? witches. although i want to believe they’re real. cus they be changing shit. and shit be needing change.

20. something most people don’t know about you. i can’t drive. i’m like a C+ driver lmfao. like we won’t DIE but i’m not who you suggest to do it.

21. where did you grow up, what was it like? detroit. straight as hell. coney slaps lmfao.

22. do you believe aliens exist? that would be narcissistic of me as a human to think that we are the ONLY species to exist.

23. what was your last google search? “how to poop better.” i bullshit you not LMFAOOOOO.

24. what did your last relationship teach you? BITCH. it taught me what i needed in a relationship. what i didn’t need. to put my healing first before anyone else. that love does not always conquer all. to never put a significant other before a friend. to give myself the same love & forgiveness i would forgive anyone else. bitch, i got nothing but lessons lmao.

25. would you relocate for love? i would do anything for love with my dumbass.

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy? i forgive, not easy, but i forgive. i also don’t hold grudges, but i don’t forget.

27. favorite book. many. eleanor & park is a easy one to say though. i’d have to think forreal.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert? bitch i am introverted as hell. i go days without speaking to people lol.

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now? i have kept a diary/journal religiously since i was 5.

30. top 5 favorite movies. paid in full, bring it on, halloween, stepbrothers, horrible bosses.

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?: didn’t i already answer this? sometimes, nigga.

32. what is your greatest fear? falling in the oven. or never being happy.

33. favorite alcoholic beverage. crown royal vanilla. or anything. i’m that friend lmao.

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done. be born probably.

35. do you believe in ghosts? all of that.

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality? i make a joke out of everything. the good shit, the bad shit. i’m making fun of it.

37. should you split the dinner bill? if y’all struggling, sure. if you feel like it, sure. money doesn’t matter to me honestly idc lmfao.

38. are you a good liar? ish. i try not to tbh because i don’t really know if i can pull it off lol.

39. what keeps you up at night? i be knocked out forreal LMFAO but anxiety. if i’m not asleep i’m panicking. about.. anything.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music? i truly only use my phone for music. give me an ipod i swear i’d be good.

41. do you believe in god? i believe so. i think so. maybe. yes. i’m the worst christian LMFAO

42. how do you relax when frustrated? i don’t. i have anxiety. jk. ish. lmfaooo. i shower. i write. i watch tv. i sleep. i cook.

43. what’s something that offends you? hearing people talk about mental illnesses in a way that doesn’t accurately depict the experience.

44. favorite food nachOOOOOS

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be? my ex :/ he was really my best friend LMAO

46. when do you feel the most confident? lowkey, when i’m naked. i got abs and my titties sit. lmfaoooo

47. what do you do on your free time? sleep or watch tv or write.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect i be looking at people differently but i don’t think i don’t respect anyone.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart? doubtful.

50. did/do you play sports in school? yeah lol i cheered and did gymnastics.

51. when are you happiest? writing or escaping with a tv show.

52. coffee or tea? CAFFEINE ME PLS!

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without? as of late, my camera. i love my baby.

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person? idk. haven’t met anybody new lately.

55. what is your favorite season, why? spring or fall. spring is rainy, fall is gloomy.

56. what makes you laugh? trauma.

57. are you a clean or messy person? messy normally, clean if i’m manic or suddenly tryna shape my shit up.

58. what is important for a successful relationship? COMMUNICATION.

59. what was your upcoming like? fine. rocky. confusing. okay i guess though.

60. favorite holiday? halloween :)

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery? pay off my all my debt. student. medical bills. all of it. i don’t wanna owe shit.

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination? bacon and ham is all i get.

63. favorite outdoor activity. going back inside, the fuck lmfaoooo.

64. how are you? honestly. i’m drunk right now so.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort? i hate outside in general. but beaches. less bugs.

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature? the sun/moon.

67. favorite type of candy? sour patches watermelon or swedish fish or carmello chocolate bars.

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title? ‘pieces in print’

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases? oh god, do i use any?the first thing i thought of was “cha feel? cha definitely feel.” from 21 jumpstreet and i rarely even say that lol.

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now? webkinz.

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on? i don’t remember her words exactly but something about fucking a monkey my freshman year of highschool.

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched? they’re all pretty interesting. that abducted in plain sight shit was DUMB tho.

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had? bangs in the 7th grade like anybody lmao.

74. what do you like to cook? all of it. i love cooking!

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild? ...in the wild? i saw a rat in the street once.

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?: bitch this is hard. schitts creek. arrested development. the office. misfits. idk tv is funny as hell.

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head? both. once someone told me i made calculated risks and i will never forget it. if i want to do something i WILL do it. but before i do it i think about the best, worst, and most realistic case scenario lmao.

78. what is your favorite quote? “if you are neutral in times of oppresion you have chosen the side of the oppressor.”

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had? my after school teacher in 5th grade. he actually reminds me of jim halpert now that i think about it. makes sense.

80. what’s your love language? quality time and words of affirmation. so literally hang out with me and tell me you love me.

81. do you ever feel alone? yeah. this time last year was the worst of it. i don’t feel like that too much anymore though.

82. ever been bullied? yes nigga. shit sucks.

83. are you usually early or late? on time or late. i can’t be early for the life of me you asking for too much lmfao.

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most? writing. poetry. stories. you know.

85. what do you wish you knew more about? myself.

#im drunk #lmfao #idk i like doing these for some reason #they just make me happy #about me

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the-everqueen · 8 years ago

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conservatory AU + having to help with some event/ music enrichment day at an elementary school :D

“I don’t understand,” Lafayette says from the backseat. “What is this ‘music enrichment’?”

Alex glances at John. “You wanna explain it or should I?”

“You’d be better.” John tightens his grip on the steering wheel. “I, uh — I went to a private school with a youth orchestra. We performed at Carnegie.”

“No shit?”

“Fifth grade field trip.”

“Like, Isaac Stern Auditorium, or —”

“Alexander,” Laf complains. “This is not explaining.”

“Right. So, public schools have these programs to expose kids to music because it’s good for their brain development, or gives them a creative outlet, or one of them might be a hidden Mozart and then their teacher can claim credit for discovering them. Or all of the above. Anyway. It’s usually once a week. Not all schools do it? Some of them cut arts programs — too expensive or they think it takes away from learning core subjects.” Alex shrugs. “My brother did music when he was — ten? eleven? but our school cut it by the time I got there.”

John shoots him a surprised look. He’s never mentioned a brother before — unless John missed something? But Alex sees his expression and presses his lips thin, hunkers down in his seat.

In the rearview mirror, Laf nods thoughtfully. “We have a similar thing in France.”

“I thought the French raised their kids on Claire de Lune.”

Alex perks up. “Did you know —”

“No, John!” Laf makes an agonized wail. “Why would you bring up Debussy around this one? He is not even the best example of a French composer.”

“Oh yeah?” Alex twists around to glare at him. “And who would you choose to represent the whole of French music?”

“Even you have to admit, Lully had a much more of an influence —”

“You’re just saying that as a tenor!”

“I cannot believe you would ignore historical fact —”

“Guys, shut up. We’re here.”

John pulls into guest parking at Pitcher Elementary School. They sign-in at the front office, where the receptionist directs them to Miss Jackie’s 5th grade classroom. Alex pushes open the door, John and Laf hanging behind, and two dozen pairs of eyes all zero in on them.

Miss Jackie smiles and waves at them. “Come on in. Class, these students are visiting from Kings Conservatory — they’re here to talk about their instruments and give us a demonstration. Can you welcome them?”

“Hello,” the kids speak in unison, eyeing the three of them with general disinterest, some idle curiosity. John glances around the classroom. Bright posters and past assignments color the walls; there’s a beat-up looking upright in the corner, which will hopefully survive Alex’s demonstration of Rachmaninov. Miss Jackie wipes away the math equations on the whiteboard so they can use it as needed, her braided ponytail swaying with her movements. “Feel free to start whenever you’d like.”

Right. Because they’re supposed to be the teachers here. John hasn’t spent much time with little kids, apart from his siblings, and he never had to make the saxophone interesting to Jemmy because Jemmy was more into designing water balloon catapults than music.

Alex clears his throat. “Well, my name is Alex, I’m a pianist at Kings. These are my friends, John — he plays tenor sax — and Laf — he’s a singer. We’re gonna try to avoid a lecture, so we’ll perform some pieces and do some activities and hopefully teach you guys something about music. Any questions?”

A hand goes up.

“Yeah?”

“How old are you?”

Alex cocks an eyebrow. “Old enough to do this.” And he slides onto the piano bench and launches into the Rachmaninov etude.

It’s a short piece, stupid fast, with jarring accents and sforzandos like jump scares. And Alex is a compelling performer, hunched over the keys, taut as piano wire while his fingers run light and quick through the notes. The kids watch, some slouched back in their seats, some leaning forward, all of them impressed. He finishes with a flick of his wrist and bounds back to his feet. “All right, then, show of hands — who didn’t like the piece? No critiques of the performer, please, just the piece.”

John and Laf create a pros and cons list on the whiteboard, while Alex walks the kids through the piece and makes them figure out what worked for them and what didn’t. Does their impression change when they close their eyes? What about if he changes the rhythm? What’s the mood? He picks volunteers and has them play “Twinkle Twinkle” sadly, quickly, while thinking of the color pink.

Laf takes over after that. Can the kids make a pink sound? He hums an A. How can they darken the tone? Lighten it? It turns into an exercise on breathing, and the kids sing a multi-colored chord that sounds like something from Scriabin.

Even as he helps his friends, John watches the kids. Most of them are participating, probably relieved that they aren’t doing fractions, but a handful look bored or disinterested, not bothering to sing or toss out answers. John tries to catch their eyes, encourage them to engage, but they ignore him, eyes on their desks or the wall, hands fiddling with their pencils.

And, fine, he’ll admit it: he’s a little annoyed. Mostly because his dad wouldn’t have let him act like that — one call from a teacher, and he’d be getting a stern lecture and an extra hour of practice a day on the clarinet. But also because he knows how much effort Alex and Laf put into this, and he wants it to matter.

Stupid. Like these kids’ lives are gonna change because some guys from Kings visited their class for an hour? They don’t even care enough to pay attention.

It’s his turn. He hands Laf the stack of papers he brought with him to pass out to the kids while he gets his sax out of its case. Some eyes widen at the instrument.

He slides the strap around his neck and takes a second to adjust the mouthpiece. “Raise your hand if you know this tune.”

He plays a few bars of a blues standard. No hands, though a couple of them tilt their heads and squint, like maybe it’s familiar. Maybe their parents listen to jazz, or it was background music in a mall.

“No problem. What about this one?”

This time he plays a pop tune. Doesn’t matter which one, he heard it on the radio a couple weeks ago and he figures the kids will recognize it. Sure enough, almost all of the hands go up. Some even bob their heads, grinning.

“What if I told you those two songs are the same song?”

John plays the standard again, emphasizing the notes in the underlying progression, and does the same thing with the pop song. The kids catch on quick for the most part, nodding when they make the connection.

“A lot of songs have the same basic skeleton, with different notes in between. You guys are gonna write your own songs — the papers Laf gave you have dots to mark the ‘skeleton’ we just heard. Your job is to connect the dots, making the melody go higher or lower as you want. Whatever you think sounds good. When you’re done, if you want, I can play some of them, or show you have to play it yourself. Alex, want to show them your example?”

Alex copies out the progression pattern on the whiteboard and fills in a melodic line, big enough for all the kids to see. John plays it back to him, tender and expansive, the way he always plays for Alexander.

“There’s no right or wrong answer. Feel free to write in directions for the performer. If you need help, just raise a hand and ask one of us.”

The exercise doesn’t take long. Some of the kids need a better explanation, and a couple take some prompting from Alex to get started, but within ten minutes John has a stack of about a dozen papers with a variety of squiggly, angular, and pointillistic lines on them. The kids wrote their names in the upper right corner — habit, John guesses, since he forgot to tell them. He calls out each name and even offers up Laf and Alex as performers in case the students don’t want to hear their piece played on sax. All of the pieces are different, and John finds something to compliment in each one.

He calls out the name on the last one and is surprised when Jerome raises his hand. The kid has been silent the entire class, jiggling his leg and staring sullenly at the ground. John glances back at his project — the jagged line looks like the pulse reading on a heart monitor.

Shit. John has the feeling he’s been handed something personal, even if he’s not quite sure what it means. There’s no directions, but he plays the impression he gets: angry, scared, frantic. Screams into the high note and lets it flatline out. When he looks up, Jerome is watching him with an expression of vicious satisfaction.

Apparently John did something right.

The lunch bell rings, and the kids file out toward the cafeteria, mumbling thanks as they go. Miss Jackie gives them a beatific smile. “Thank you for taking the time to share with them. And please, give Dr. Washington my regards.”

“No problem,” Alex says. “We’re glad to do it. And hey, there’s an orchestra concert coming up at Kings — if you think the kids would be interested, I could get the class free tickets.”

Of course Alex would advertise the orchestra concert; he was going to be performing the Saint-Saens that night. But Miss Jackie beams. “That’d be wonderful! E-mail me the date. And any other concerts, too, I’m sure some of the parents might want to attend.”

Laf elbows him, and John rolls his eyes. No, he doesn’t think a group of fifth graders would want to sit through three hours of Mozart. Laf pouts at him, though, so he shrugs. Maybe one of them would be into the costumes.

Miss Jackie turns to him. “Your activity really engaged the kids. Are you a composition major as well?”

“Uh, no. I improv? For jazz band.” He scratches the back of his head. Thinks of Jerome and his piece. “Though — if any of the kids are interested in lessons or writing their own stuff, I can volunteer, or talk to some of the teachers about resources.”

“Great! I’ll be sure to let them know.”

Back in the car, Alex and Laf get into an argument over Le nozze de Figaro. John interrupts before it really escalates. “Hey, Alex, how did you get into music? Since you said your school didn’t have a program for it.”

“Mom taught me when I was little. After she died, her sister gave me lessons, helped me prep for auditions.” He makes a vague hand gesture. “I made it work? I got lucky, but still had to figure out shit on my own.”

Laf hums. “You would make a good teacher.”

“Ha, professor is more like it.” Alex grins. “Just you wait, soon enough you’ll have to call me ‘Dr. Hamilton.’”

“You’re such a shithead,” John says.

“Yeah, yeah. Though that was pretty cool of you, offering to help those kids.” Alex gives him a fond look, which turns sly. “Though, since you’re going pro bono, wanna buy a starving college kid lunch?”

“I will pay, if John drives us there,” Laf says. “Perhaps, once you are fed, you will be able to see how wrong your opinions on opera are.”

John is pretty certain the whole of Pitcher Elementary School could hear Alex’s howl of outrage.

#conservatory au #philly-osopher #i do not really have a firm grasp on how French music education goes #despite some research #so forgive me if i'm wrong #Shaina suggested John having a Realization of his privilege #in regard to music lessons and exposure #which became this #Wash totally volunteered these three to have some Peace and Quiet #also Alex is wrong about Mozart operas

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iesharael-blog · 6 years ago

Text

1/5/19 Happy New Year

ok im gonna be honest... I dont remember the past 5 days other than i’m sick and can barely breath and i mad the mistake of going to the movies with some friends. i wanted to see mary poppins again so me and 4 friends were gonna go, well after we already planned that, one made me really uncomfortable when he was drunk messaging me and not accepting that i did not want a relationship with him. even going so far as to say he hates my ex simply cause he got me first. so im gonna call these friends A B C (as well as D and E to explain backstory) and explain who they are with a little key so i can give the story without being revealing of identities and what not.

Me - [fem] myself. I’ve know them for a little over 20 years and they tend to be a complete child and was treated as the child of friends back in high school and cared for as such. highly susceptible to emotional manipulation especially from people they trust

A - [fem] my best friend since 5th grade who i fondly refer to as my mama bear. my amazing protector of both physical and emotional battle grounds. the very person who’s house i ran to when i needed time away from my parents to figure things out before asking for therapy.

B - [male] twat i met my junior year who i started calling dad at some point and has since become completely unstable. very egotistical and leaves arguments if he isn’t winning constantly playing the victim card.

C - [male] guy who i was randomly introduced to through his younger brother adding him to a discord server i run as an attempt to shut down my ex for daring to call the unholy texts that are The Harry Potter Series “mediocre” (i also have his phone number randomly cause i used to know his twin) and has been friends with B for a while even going so far as to have a running joke of them being in a relationship even tho they are both straight.

D - [fem] B’s ex who i refer to as step mama and who tends to be fairly motherly towards me

E - [male] dude i was friends with in highschool and who was good friends with B

My Ex - [male] still on very good terms and he is very caring towards me. he tries to make sure im doing whats best for me and not letting anyone manipulate or harm me

ok that was bigger than i expected but im sick im not thinking straight so this gonna be a bit weird and long... ok heres the story:

so im all like “hey i wanna see Mary Poppins again!” and B and C are like yeah lets go! with B immediately stating how he had planned to see it with B before they broke up, already putting a slight damper on the thing but we got past it. a day or two after i end up with me and B agreeing (timestamp 9:30) to message on discord between 11-12 as well as set up a server for us and his little sis to play on. (the wait was for him watching doctor who with his family) so i shower and puzzle and finally with no word by 11:42 i message him asking for when he thinks he will be on to which i get the message “I don’t know I’m really drunk it’s gonna be a blast “... and now a transcript of what followed next copied word for word (well privacy edits) time stamps (and spelling errors) included:

ME Last Sunday at 11:44 PM

but i guess mary poppins day discusion will wait for tomorow

me and your sister agreed on doing ftb sky adventers

B Last Sunday at 11:45 PM

Btw

Hehe

I shouldn’t say it

ME Last Sunday at 11:45 PM

say it

cant say btw then not say it

dick

B Last Sunday at 11:46 PM

Well

Uhm

ME Last Sunday at 11:46 PM

yes?

B Last Sunday at 11:46 PM

I’m unhappy with [MY EX]

Because I was maybe going to ask you out

I can say this because I’m drunk

ME Last Sunday at 11:47 PM

omg lol (in the this is a funniy situation way, not laughing at you)

thought you were repulesed by me? yeesh [B] keep your story straight

after all i did like you a bit before i met [MY EX], but hes always nice and youre... drunk nice

so eta for server mister cassanova?

B Last Sunday at 11:51 PM

No I want to be nice to you sober too but for some reason I get scared so I hide behind lies

Idk a while

Tonight

ME Last Sunday at 11:51 PM

you dont have to be scared, im just shocking

B Last Sunday at 11:52 PM

Well if we go to Mary poppins

Even with [C], who I’d like to be there

Maybe a mini date?

ME Last Sunday at 11:52 PM

no.

B Last Sunday at 11:52 PM

Aqwww

ME Last Sunday at 11:52 PM

sorry but i cant date again not yet

B Last Sunday at 11:53 PM

I’m gonna be sad

ME Last Sunday at 11:53 PM

i told you why me and [MY EX] broke up

B Last Sunday at 11:53 PM

But when I’m sober I’m going to regret most of this

ME Last Sunday at 11:53 PM

its not good for me to be in a relationship rn

B Last Sunday at 11:53 PM

I know

Well

Actually

ME Last Sunday at 11:54 PM

look if things dont work out with [MY EX] once my brain is on the path to fixed then we will see, until then dont wait up for me

B Last Sunday at 11:54 PM

I think you do need to be with at least someone because when you are depressed and thrown out of it you need someone to relate to and talk and make you feel comforted and loved

Time alone isn’t the answer

ME Last Sunday at 11:55 PM

except i have friends for that hon

B Last Sunday at 11:55 PM

Yeah

You dooo

ME Last Sunday at 11:55 PM

you dont need a relationship relationship

i have a [A]

B Last Sunday at 11:55 PM

Well

Is she helping

Are you loved

ME Last Sunday at 11:55 PM

i talk to her about everything mental

i talk to [IRRELEVANT MALE FRIEND] about physical questions

creepy right? well this kept going with me getting more and more uncomfortable and refusing to accept that i dont want a relationship (a quote from B in reference to my ex: “ He might be your daddy, but I’m your daddy” tf? and yes he bolded) to the point that i was just sticking around so hed put a server up for the pack. then a bit before 2 o’clock i say that im gonna get off at 2 cause that when i had planned to, to which he (im not sure if intentionally) manipulated me into staying on till 3 o’clock because he would tell me about a personal thing i was curious about. finally 3 o’clock comes around, we call and i hear the story and once the server is up he tells me hes gonna go play league with some people (note random online people not irl people he supposedly likes) and will be back in 20 mins. i figure what the hay ill wait. 40 mins later he says hes not getting back on... obviously im furious. (screen shot of convo i sent to someone day of to explain without having to retype - im red)

next day comes and im uncomfortable and C ends up buying minecraft so he can play with me on the server, we get in call with a now sober B when he gets on and i confront him about the messages even sharing screens for proof (i learned its best not to 1v1 argue him cause im easy to manipulate) and he claims to not remember it but whenever C is away during the call he says things that sound slightly suggestive. at this point id like to note that i have a full recording of me scrolling through the messages as an unlisted video on my youtube channel and have sent it to people who with no prior suggestion have described it as “rapey” and warned me against him. my ex in particular warned me that i am very susceptible to an abusive relationship rn due to my mental state and that he seemed very unstable. at this i decided to invite A to go to mary poppins too since she would be a good protector of me should anything happen and to have a more familiar presence there.

now here is the juicy part. so D was talking to C where C was complaining how clingy B was becoming and how creepy he was being towards me so she quickly messages me on snap warning me that he is a ‘manipulative possessive jerk who will see me as nothing but an object to conquer and get mad when you are unhappy’ after hearing this i rembered B’s story about D cheating on him with E before D and E got together and started to wonder how true that was. me and D had a lovely conversation following that about my singular past relationship and her current one and blah blah blah.

MOVIE DAY: (C canceled the night before so now it is just me B and A going) we get picked up by A and all seems well with everyone being friendly and B seeming kinda cautious. i think hes regretting the convo so i decide to be nice. the movie was great and we decide to hang in the mall after (i made a build a bear). so while we were hanging at one point he scared me when after he provoked me into my light face wacks (cat play pretty much, wouldnt damage the most fragile ice) he grabs my hand to stop me and me thinking “oooo game fun!” i start to dig my nail into his hand to get let go of but instead of him reacting how i expected (letting go so i can escape) he looks at me with the scariest most serious face ive ever seen and (this part still scares me) says “you dont want to go down this path” he finally lets go and i go sit by the hot topic earing displays while A and B look at buttons then when B sits next to me while A waits to pay he basically called my claw abuse. (like what? you grab my hand hard enough that it hurt when i was doing the same playful banter weve done for years and apparently im the abuser cause i do my standard get away strategy of hurting the hand thats holding me? what did you expect me to do? just comply and calmly stand there with my hand held above y head in yours?) after we leave hottopic we are in the car and somehow we get to the topic of the drunk conversation.

so im talking and trying to explain how uncomfortable he made me( and how i was afraid to be alone around him and how i had been scared remembering that he not only knows where i live but where the spare key is!!!!) and i dare use the word “rapey” ... lets see if i can get a definition for yall but first ill say how i use that word - “rapey. an adjective to describe a situation in which one party becomes uncomfortable and afraid to the point that they feel if this continues they could be raped or otherwise hurt/abused in the future” - and now the second definition from urban dictionary: “Rapey A guy who's creepy, and hugs or kisses inappropriately. He has a rapist lure. You don't think he would do it but definitely gives off that vibe. i.e. creepy hugger at the office.” - now i apparently made a huge error in daring to use that word to describe the conversation where he would not accept me saying no to a relationship (and at one point asked me my ex’s dick size - which i did not give) and continously stated how using words liek that could end up getting him in jail. A and i look at eachother incredulously and try to argue with him a bit but ultimately decide to just get back to the point and bring it back to how uncomfortable i was and how he needs to change his attitude and appologize but he keeps bringing it back to that word. fianlly im close to tears and mutely hugging my yoshi in the front seat and the whole car goes silent. A offers that i sleep over tonight which i decline knowing im sick and need my bed and we talk a bit about my ex and goign out for ramen with him sometime. once i was home i removed B from discord snap and steam and will remove him next time im on league as well. he was removed from my server and i left any i had in common with him. i am done trying to forgive him.

on a brighter note i got sims 4 cause C bought it for me since i couldn't refund his ticket i prepaid for and im learning how to get better from this stupid dry throat. hopefully ill be better by Tuesday so i can go back to work at the library!

thanks for reading! <3

i know this was a long one and probably makes half sense cause of the code letters and the fact that i am writing this while very light headed <3

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amigoingbananas · 8 years ago

Text

11 questions (sort of)

Okay, this is like 11 questions x 10 and w o w thank you to everyone who tagged me in this. I’m so lucky to have met such wonderful people here on Tumblr (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

This post is terribly TL;DR, but I made the usernames large and bolded, just in case the people who tagged me want to read my answers??

P.S. I had fun answering all the questions :3

@shige-haru

1. Have you ever had an experience people might think of as supernatural, like seeing something you couldn’t explain? Noooooope. Call me lame, but I always try to find a way to explain something creepy. But that's probably because I'm a scaredy cat and I don't want to believe that I saw something ~supernatural~

2. Do you think you could figure out how to get your bae’s fundoshi off or would you need to borrow his sword IF THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

3. What was the last dream you had? OK, as of this writing, I had the straaangest dream just this morning! It involved me deliberately killing my cat and setting my house on fire. Wtf.

4. What’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen? I’m picky when it comes to movies, so I usually don’t watch a movie with bad ratings/reviews haha. Besides, I find movies with terrible acting and/or script hilarious.

5. What’s your weirdest fear? Hmmm, it's not really a fear, but more like, something I avoid?? I usually don't call people by their names unless I'm sure we've become friends, so I end up just poking them to get their attention. I am awkward like that ; u ;

6. What, as specifically as possible, were you afraid of as a child? I was afraid of bald people. My older brother shaved his head once, and I think I cried when I saw him.

7. You can join the world of any franchise you like (no need to be super realistic about your own abilities). Which one do you choose? Harry Potter!!! I wanna be a wizard :(

8. What’s the most delicious food you’ve ever eaten? I had this reaaaaally good leche flan (it’s a custard of some sort) that my boyfriend gave me. I teared up a little while eating it.

9. You have to become an animal. What do you choose? Cat!

10. Do you like walking in gravel? I don't think I've walked in gravel enough times for me to tell if I like it or not. Haha.

11. Have you ever ridden a horse? Yes, when I was younger!

@singokumaiden

1. Fuck Marry Kill - your top 3 bias in slbp Fuck - Hideyoshi Marry - Masamune Kill - Mitsunari (he's recently in my top3 because I just finished both his endings eeeeee)

2. If you could live the life of one famous person, who would it be? why? I don't like attention, so I probably won't enjoy being a famous person.

3. what subject did you least like in school? Math... but compared to my subjects in uni, math doesn't seem all that bad anymore.

4. if you used a weapon what would it be? why? Bow and arrow. I always thought it was cool.

5. your fave headcanon about youxyour lord We’re in bed, I’ve had a bad day, and I’d just cuddle up to Hide and he’d comfort me~ (´｡• ᵕ •｡`)

6. avatar items or castle items? I actually really like castle items. Reminds me of The Sims. :)

7. are you afraid of an animal/ bitten by an animal? Hmmm, I'm more afraid of insects than animals.

8. if you could live in SLBP universe, but on the condition that your fave lord will never fall for you, would you do it? YES. I don't mind if Hide doesn't fall for me, I'm sure he'd still flirt with me either way. LOL. Plus, there are a lot of other lords anyway. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

9. which one- mountain, sea, desert, volcano, forest and castle. Castle~

10. your fave romantic trope? Popular, flirty guy falls in love with a simple girl and stays faithful to her despite all the ladies pining for him. *cough* Hide *cough*

11a. do you love me? Of course I dooo~

11b. if you were in slbp universe, what would your profession be? ( be realistic about your abilities :9 ) Probably a doctor???? (But then I’d have to disguise myself as a man...) Or a maid. Lmao.

@minminami

1. Imagine you’re a ninja and were ordered to kill one of the lords, who would it be? and why?? Does Lord Juami count? Hoho. Nah but really, I might give up being a ninja if I'd have to kill a lord ; u ;

2. What is your favorite flower? *I love flowers so I had to add this question* Hmm, Idk if I have a favorite! But I find the Hibiscus really pretty~ I also like purple flowers. (Care to tell me about nice purple flowers? :3 )

3. Which one do you value more, trust or honesty? Honesty! Honesty comes before trust, IMO.

4. Would you prefer to to go out on a date with your lord or stay and cuddle at home? Go out :3 We could cuddle afterwards. Ahem.

5. Have you ever fallen for a character you hate? Hmm, well I wasn't a big fan of Ieyasu before I read his MS. I love him now~

6. If you were to pick one subject to study for the rest of your life, what would it be? This is pretty broad, but... science!

7. Which one do you prefer more, snow or rain? I've never experienced snow, so rain!

8. What song do you think your lord would like? Versace on the floooor~ LOLJK. Wow, I’ve never really thought about it! For some reason, I feel like he’d be into Bruno Mars? X’D

9. What’s you’re favorite song? It's a song by a local band – Wala Nang Hihilingin by Sugarfree. I also really like Imagine by John Lennon.

10. Fuck Marry Kill - your top 3 bias in slbp *repeating this question* Evil question ; u ;

F - Hideyoshi M - Masamune K – Mitsunari :(((

11. Have you ever ridden a ride that made you scream with fear? Yes, this huge rollercoaster at an amusement park. It got better, though!

@eyes-lay-lost-in-the-city-lights

1. What’s your favorite book? I don't really have one! I read all seven Harry Potter books in like a week, though. I also got into A Song of Ice and Fire, but only read up to the 5th book.

2. Dogs or cats? Puppies > kittens Cats > Dogs

3. Going out or staying at home? Staying home!

4. What do you think about love? Love is easy (but relationships are hard!!)

5. What is the fictional universe you most want to live in? Harry Potter! I'm still waiting for my Hogwarts letter... ; u ;

6. What would you want to be remembered for in your life? Being a nice person, I guess? Haha.

7. Where do you want to travel? Japan!! And the UK. :)

8. What is you favorite type of dessert? Ice cream!!!

9. What are your top five OTPs? Me x Hideyoshi (ehehe) @shioune x Hideyoshi @shigetsugu x Hideyoshi @toyotomi-hideyoshi x Hideyoshi @kellaray x Hideyoshi (´ ε ` )♡

10. What’s your favorite song? Wala Nang Hihilingin by Sugarfree (local band) I also like Imagine by John Lennon. :)

11. What’s your favorite flower? Previously answered... Hmm, Idk if I have a favorite! But I find the Hibiscus really pretty~ I also like purple flowers. (Care to tell me about nice purple flowers? :3 )

@dreamsinparadise

1. When was the last time you cried, and why? Last week. It was almost ~that time of the month~ lol.

2. Do you prefer staying at home or hanging out at your friends’s place? Staying at home!

3. If you were in a situation where your fav SLBP character and your 10 yrs old child with him are at the brink of death. You are given the chance to save only one of them. Who would you choose? ...the situation wouldn’t happen because I don’t want kids ; u ;

4. Its your first night with your SLBP bae, who’s gonna be dom and who’s gonna be sub? I'm probs gonna be sub. Hide can be dom and then we'll decide later what I like. Huehue.

5. What would you give to your SLBP bae as a memento if they are going to war? A locket??? Or a charm with a banana. HAHA.

6. Your bae had struck a faustian contract with (demon!au) you for the price of his soul and you finished your services after some time. If you chose not to consume him after the contract, it would cost you your life but he would live, while if you consume him his soul would be with you forever in your body (but you can never touch him or hear him again). Which would you prefer? Why? I’m sorry for being lame but I’m not too familiar with demon au D: From the question, though, I think I’d let him live instead???

7. What kind of wedding would you like with your bae? Just a simple wedding with our close family and friends~

8. If you were to adopt one of the SLBP guys as your children, who would it be? MITSUNARI! Let me give him all the love he deserves huhu.

9. What do you think of me; @dreamsinparadise? You're sweet, friendly, and easy to talk to! You also have great ideas for your fics ( ´ ▽ ` )

10. Give 3 words to describe your 2D man Thoughtful, hardworking, handsome :3

11. Are these questions fun, heartbreaking or humoring for you? Did you enjoy them?? They're fun, and I enjoyed them! Thank you~

@nekopri

1. What’s your favourite time of day? Any time as long as I get to sleep. X'D

2. Milk based ice-cream or a fruit based one? Milk!

3. 3 things you think of when you wake up? “Morning already??” “5 more minutes...” “Ugh.”

4. Latest shower thought? Should I sleep, or should I study? Should I eat before sleeping? X’D

5. Would you rather the temperature be 40 °C or -20 °C ? -20 °C with lotsa blankets/sweaters (but the coldest I've experienced is like 20 °C and I was already weak. Lmao.)

6. The weirdest thing you have ever eaten on a whim? Instant noodles with rice. Carbs on carbs is just... too much. (I did it because I was broke ahaha college is gr8.)

7. Are you more comfortable showing affection verbally or physically? Neither. I'm awkward when it comes to showing affection D:

8. What’s your default sleeping pose? Lying on my belly! But recently I've been sleeping on my side, because I usually end up drooling if I sleep lying ventrally lmao.

9. What’s your ideal pet? C-A-T.

10. Favourite scene from a book/movie/tv show? Here's the thing. I don't really have favorites since I'm usually ~in the moment~ whenever I read or watch something. Then after some time, the feelings kind of fade and I forget about the scene. Lmao. So I guess I have favorites for a certain moment of time but not like, a favorite in general. (Ok I am rambling now ; u ; )

11. Prettiest cow bread? I am serious

So I looked up “cow bread” on Google, and this seems to be a decent candidate for prettiest cow bread:

If you meant cow bread, then I'd have to say Holstein-Friesian! I haven't seen a lot of cows in person, and most of them are just the native cows which are brown, so when I first saw Holstein-Friesians, I was all “omg they're so pretty, they're just like the cows on milk cartons!”

@i-dont-look-good-i-look-great

1. Fuck, Marry, Kill; top 3 least favorite Lords

(I hope nobody hates me for my choice of least favorite lords HUHU. It's only because I haven't done their MS yet!!!) Fuck – Saizo ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Marry – Yukimura Kill – Kojuro huhuhu

2. Why are you attracted to your favorite lord/lords? BECAUSE HIDEYOSHI IS PERFECT. Lmao. Kidding aside, he's just so likeable, you know?? Not to mention he's so cute????

3. Between your two favorite lord, who would you save (only one)? I'd save Hideyoshi. (Sorry, Masa!)

4. If you can meet all 12 lords, how will you spend your day with them? I kind of want them to just pamper me. HAHA. Like, it's not everyday that I get to experience a reverse harem lmao might as well make the most out of it.

5. If you only have 24 hours left to live, how will you spend it and why? I'd go sky diving, bungee jumping, mountain climbing, etc. with my friends/family because YOLO.

6. When was the last time you’ve ever embarrassed yourself? I embarrass myself all day, err'day. X’D

7. What inspired you to become who you are today? My father. :')

8. Places you dream of visiting one day Japan and the UK!

9. Which character in SLBP do you mostly want an MS of? HANBEI! #BringBackHanbei2k17

10. What would you give your lord on his birthday? or what would you like your lord to give you on your birthday? For his birthday, I'd give him myself :>

11. Recommended routes? Definitely Ieyasu's! It has the best character development, IMO. And the MC is just wonderful. I give his route a 10/10.

@shioune

1. Do you ship yourself with any of the voltage men? Or do you have any favorite, who? HIDEYOSHI. You already know why. Hahaha.

2. Would you really date them if they exist in your life and is interested in you? YES!!! But tbh, I think I'd be more attracted to guys like Mitsuhide IRL.

3. Your top three SLBP lords. Or any game from your choosing. But you can only choose three guys from one title. Hideyoshi Masamune Mitsunari (because I recently finished both endings~)

4. Now, fuck marry kill from those choices : ) I’m satan incarnate, y’know. EYYYY. Fuck – Hideyoshi :3 Marry – Masamune Kill ??? nuuuu – Mitsunari

5. What’s the last thing you daydream about? I’m gonna be shameless here and admit that I often find myself daydreaming about the SLBP lords ; u ; On a less otome trash note, I also daydream about food. X’DD

6. Do you prefer hugs or kisses and are you the kind of person who would initiate them? I'm too awkward for either of them ha ha. I almost never initiate them ; u ;

7. A song you’re really into these days and a song you associate to your fav lord/prince/character (idk, i mean what if slbp isnt ur fav game, im giving you options here bc im a sainttan) I watched La La Land a few weeks back but I still can't get “City of Stars” out of my head. The song I associate with my favorite lord(s) is by a local band (I've already mentioned it, but lemme just say it again because this post is too TL;DR) - “Wala Nang Hihilingin” by Sugarfree. The chorus roughly translates to, “If every night you sleep by my side, you don't know how much happiness you’d bring. If you can hear the beating of my heart, it is saying that while you are in my arms, there's nothing more that I could ask for.” HUEHUE cheesy, right??? Another song – and equally cheesy – is “I Will” by The Beatles :3

8. Do you love Oyamada Nobushige? Well, I wouldn't say /love/, but he has aged pretty well. *cough*

9. What’s your favorite food and to what length will you go to get it? I'd kill for ice cream. Especially when I'm PMS-ing. Mehehe.

10. If you can time travel to any period and any country, where would you go? Why that period/country? Sengoku period in Japan because Hideyoshi???

11. And lastly would you consider donating pearls to me? LOL NO IM JOKING last question is, late at night and you’ve been feeling out of it for a while and your bae (your 2D bae ofc) text messages you. Who’s your bae and what does the message say? OF COURSE I WOULD, BB. Except I'm broke rn huhuhu. Hideyoshi~ I think a simple “I love you. :)” message would do the trick ahuehuehue. I am trash ; u ;

@wizardesslover

1. What’s your favorite voltage app right now and why? SLBP! It's the only Voltage app I play. Heh.

2. Who’s your favorite character? Hideyoshiiii~

3. What is your least favorite voltage app? N/A

4. Who’s your least favorite character? Probs Lord Juami. But Yasumasa's face annoys me. Lol.

5. Who’s your ultimate voltage OTP? ME x HIDEYOSHI. Also, MC x Masamune because they're so sweet ; u ;

6. Who’s the hottest voltage character? HIDEYOSHI. HAVE YOU SEEN HIS ABS? (Bias aside, I think Inuchiyo's the hottest because he's a ~typical~ samurai i.e., tall, lean, long-haired. Mmm.)

7. Who’s your funniest voltage character and why? Tadatsugu when he’s being all “No, don’t pull out my hair, milord!” Kenshin when Kanetsugu is being a mom.

8. Who is your favorite MC? The MC in Ieyasu's route!

9. What is your favorite moment with your bae? :3 Tbh, every moment. Mehehe.

10. Kiss, Marry, Avoid. Kiss – Hideyoshi Marry – Masamune Avoid – Mitsunari in a foul mood

11. Who’s route took you by surprise? Ieyasu's. I didn't expect it to be so g r e a t.

@moonlight-nightingale

1.How did you get into fandom? What was your catalyst to finding the Tumblr community? I was on break from uni, and I got bored so I downloaded the Tumblr app. At first, I looked at Haikyuu! posts, but then found out that SLBP posts exist... then, ta-da!

2. Favourite quotes from slbp ? Oooh, I have a lot!

3.Which lords route do you like the most, and which one you dislike the most? Why? I liked Ieyasu's the most. Character development was on point, and the MC was likeable! I guess I liked Mitsuhide's the least, but mainly because there was so much potential and it turned out flat??? It's a shame too, because Mitsuhide's story events are wonderful!

4.Other than slbp, what are you addicted to recently? SLEEP. Hahaha.

5. If you are living in the slbp universe, and you had been granted to have a power or special ability (ex: invisible), what is your special ability? And what will you do with it? The ability to fly? (Me to Hideyoshi: I could show you the world, shining, shimmering, splendiiiid~)

6.If you and your fav lord are chosen as tribute for your district to enter the Hunger Games, what will you do? I'd probs pull the same stunt that Katniss did and be all “let's die together~!”

7.Imagine you are a demigod, Whom daughter you think you are? (Ex: Poseidon, Zeus, Hades) why ? I’d probs be the daughter of Zeus... because lbr, he has so many children and it’s hard to keep count lmao. (Sorry I can’t answer this question more seriously because my background on Greek mythology is poor ; u ; )

8.If you are a voice actor, which lords do you prefer/want to cast as ? (Don’t need to be realistic ) Mitsuhide??

9.If you are granted 3 wishes, what will you wish for? 1. To graduate from vet school ; u ; 2. For Hide to be real??? More money. Lmao. 3. Sensible national leaders???

10.If you can meet your 10 yrs past self what will you tell to your past self? Take a 4-year course in uni so you can graduate sooner. Lol.

11.What do u think of me? You are wonderful~ (o˘◡˘o)

#long post #personal #tagged #11 questions #not really 11 #thank you to everyone who tagged me

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