#for instance he probably views me as a clown for thinking so hard about a silly character in a silly tv show

[macchiatosdumptruck]

S3ep2:

-"he's the one who's mom killed herself."

When will they start telling the stories that I'm interested in and stop using women as props?

- Kreese really says "I can excuse child endangerment but I draw the line at preying on underaged girls."

- which, while not necessarily going against his previous characterization of calling young waitresses "sweet cheeks," does seem inconsistent. He seems to show the most empathy towards young girls, and then loses it as they get older.

-s1 johnny stated there were never any girls in Cobra Kai as a rule, Aisha was the first. so what had to have changed for John to go from "no girls allowed/girls are a distraction" to "you're gonna be my best fighter" (in reference to Tory)

(I know the simple answer is inconsistent writing but I'm trying to give the characters more of a benefit of the doubt than the writers tbh.)

It's very obvious losing Betsy is what convinces him that love/women were a weakness, but what convinces him that they could/should fight? Just time?

He seems to view Tory as a kindred soul. I think that has a way of removing her from his typical views on gender. It's almost like he doesn't view her as a young girl. He views her first as a fighter.

But he only really interacts with Tory, Betsy, and Amanda. There are occasional unnamed characters he is more traditionally chauvinistic towards.

I can't help but feel he puts on a chauvinistic, machismo persona for his own sake.

His mother is only mentioned in passing.

Women are archetypes.

They're either innocent or temptress. Victim or fighter.

Amanda, he clearly views as a trouble maker.

-"I can't believe you taught kids."

"Yeah, like you're such a great teacher. Look at Robby."

Like, I know people are hurting and lashing out, and so those words make sense for the moment, but for real why do the writers seem to keep finding ways of placing blame on Miyagi-do?

It's high key sus.

"always remember your enemies think they're doing what's right. There is no good. There is no bad. There is only weak and strong. "

Feel like that's a good Kreese quote we should maybe pay more attention to.

[jimmyandthegiraffes]

Names and Forms of Address in The A-Team

I think it’s really interesting to note how and when Hannibal addresses the others by rank. Under the cut is a ridiculous number of words on this subject from me, your local nerd who should definitely have used the time I spent on this for something else. This isn’t as good or in depth as I wanted it to be but it’s been sat in my drafts for months and I’m bored so I’m gona post it.

With B.A. and Face, Hannibal uses the terms Sergeant and Lieutenant to assert his authority over them, a subtle way of pulling rank on them that makes it hard for them to dispute or be insubordinate. This is perhaps especially true of Face. Hannibal calls Face Lieutenant when Face is complaining or refusing to co-operate, smartly reminding him who is in charge. Face can be a little whiny bitch sometimes, but he also often seems to feel that Hannibal asks too much of him. I know some people ship Hannibal/Face, but I would argue here that occasionally Face falls more into the trap of viewing Hannibal as his dad (which he is. Hannibal is all of their dad okay. Why do you think none of them really have canon fathers??) and of responding to him as such. Whether or not Hannibal is correct in his assertion that Face works best under pressure, Face doesn’t seem to like it very much. Hannibal can quickly circumvent any subsequent whining from Face by pulling rank on him: it comes with the unspoken remark that whatever qualms Face has with what he’s being asked to do are not as important as the task at hand, that he needs to suck it up and do what he’s told. That’s not to say that Hannibal is manipulative (he is, a bit, but that’s not really what I’m trying to say), since he is generally aware of each member of the team’s limits, and how far he can push them, and when to stop. This isn’t the case all the time and occasionally Hannibal does fuck up, but for the most part it holds up.

Hannibal addresses B.A. as Sergeant very infrequently. When he does, it’s on the surface similar to addressing Face as Lieutenant but if you look more closely there is a difference; in both cases Hannibal generally uses their rank titles to assert his authority, but while for Face this acts as a reprimand and reminder, for B.A. it seems to be more of a gesture of encouragement. B.A. thrives on structure, order, and knowing what is expected of him, and just as importantly he likes to know what to expect from the people around him. Being reminded of the structure of the Team and each of their places in it (even though any concept of a hierarchy amongst them is far more blurred than it could have been in a truly military context) seems to work to placate B.A. almost, to assure him of his value and his specific skillset, and to encourage him and spur him on. On occasion Hannibal does seem to use it to get B.A. to stand down if he’s getting too angry - its infrequency probably works in Hannibal’s favour on these occasions as an unexpected form of address may be more effective at getting through to B.A. than simply addressing him how he normally does. On the other hand, Hannibal does generally address him as B.A. even when ‘stepping in’.

When he addresses Murdock as Captain, however, it’s the exact opposite. When Hannibal wants to assert his authority over Murdock (usually because Murdock is Clowning(TM) and Hannibal wants a break), he addresses him just as Murdock. As far as I know, he is the only person in the show to actually refer Murdock as Howling Mad, and even then only once (Mexican Slayride), and not to Murdock’s face. It’s impossible to tell from this one instance exactly what meaning this confers. I take most of Mexican Slayride as canon and even though I know the external reason for discrepancies is because it’s a pilot episode, on a Watsonian level I have to admit I’m intrigued as to where this reference to Murdock as Howling Mad fits into Hannibal’s perception of him. Anyway, when Hannibal addresses Murdock by his rank title, it’s less an expression of authority, and far more an expression both of camaraderie and companionship, and of his confidence in Murdock. By calling him Captain, Hannibal says, I respect you, I know that you are capable, I see you as an adult and I will treat you as such. With what we know of the way Murdock is treated by almost literally every other character, this must be an incredibly reassuring thing to hear, and Hannibal knows this.

It places the emphasis on Hannibal’s reliance on Murdock, reminding him that Hannibal trusts him, even though B.A. and Face repeatedly express doubts about Murdock’s competence. They worry that Murdock will flake out or let them down. There is none of this from Hannibal, ever, that I have noticed, which perhaps accounts in part for Murdock’s particular reaction to Hannibal.

It’s important to remember that Hannibal has never had the same authority over Murdock as he has over B.A. and Face. Hannibal’s command over his pilot is circumstantial, not embedded in their unit’s hierarchy. We can safely assume that Hannibal and Murdock had met, possibly many times, prior to the mission with the Hanoi bank; they would have been able to interact as fellow officers, without any direct authority of Hannibal over Murdock. This is reflected in the way they address each other; address of course goes both ways, and Murdock addresses Hannibal as Colonel far, far more frequently than either Face or B.A. do. It’s a mark of respect, in my opinion, an indication that while they weren’t part of the same unit until the very end of Hannibal, Face and B.A.’s time in the military, they are now, and Hannibal remains the higher ranking officer. It remains a language between the two of them, that ties into their shared experiences of being ranking officers, and of being unorthodox and strange and hyperactive.

[innermoonlight-bhe]

Me, again, on Destiel. Please read.

I’ve been having problems all this month. And while I was self-exploring the reasons of my uneasiness, I tracked it back to 15x18. When I first watched the episode I had lots of unresolved feelings. I felt happy and at the same time really distressed. After waiting for two week for the end of Supernatural I thought those feelings would disappear but they just kept on getting stronger. I began feeling stressed and, this last two weeks, feelings just empty. I had no desire to do anythings, like I was lost. Yesterday I realized why and got me sad and mad at the same time. I don’t want to take a lot of time writing this but there are too many emotions and rational thoughts that don’t let me sleep at night. 

This is why I want to divide this text into two parts:The first one being the queerbating debate on internet. This includes the normalization of heterosexual relationships, audiences, plots and writing, marketing and advertising, and other things that have to do with t.v. industry. In specific, the rare case of CW and its treatment of the whole Supernatural family. In the second part I would like to focus on my personal experience, which I’m sure is same to most people who were left all alone in this Destiel world of disappointment. This last one you can decide to ignore or share with me. The one that i’m most interested is that you read the first part, even though it can seem a little out of context, since I’ll be referring to another tv shows of the CW.

 FIRST PART THEN OF THE DESTIEL OPINION:When I was left so sad after the queerbaiting I began watching a famous soup opera aka telenovela, called Yo soy Betty, la fea. It’s famous worldwide and I felt it like a comfort home after all the Destiel drama. It made me happy because the story plot is only one: the heterosexual couple that falls in love. Of course I’m reducing this too much, but the point is that yesterday, after I finished watching it, I realized that even though the main couple had problems at the end the audience knew they would’ve ended together. It did happen, in the anti-last episode, same as in supernatural and the Cas confession. The two further episodes centered on the happy conclusion on the story. There are clear points to establish:

Point 1:  Supernatural was born as a serious mainly centered on two heterosexual man traveling all along a country hunting monsters while looking for a father. Meanwhile a classic telenovela centers on a love couple who fight against everythings to be together; in this case it’s establish since the beginning and no one will except anything else. 

Point 2: Meanwhile telenovela’s audiences are destined to be woman, wanting to follow the classic love story; Supernatural was being male focused actually did excepted woman but also men watchers. Supernatural had a largest specter of viewers.

Point 3: Telenovelas are not willing to change the story for the audiences desires. They work with practical and classic formulas that rarely will fail. There’s no necessity to receive a feedback to complete. Supernatural and tv series, on the other hand, actually need the feedback from the viewers because on it depends their permanency on the screen. 

Supernatural needed to keep their viewers high so the show could continue. I’m gonna leave the classic telenovela out for a moment. It’s important settling this differences to approximate myself to the basic point of my madness: how unethical is the queerbaiting.The public opinion changes, and The CW having clear this is very know to keep in touch with fans wishes and needs. In the case of Jane the Virgin, a barely combination of the telenovela classic plot but in a tv series way, had a big “change” with one of their main characters: Petra. Her connection with the main character, Jane, was noted and wanted by many of the viewers. But the show’s creator knew that main plot (point 1)was a girl who accidentally gets pregnant and eventually falls in love with the love of her life, Rafael. So the show writers wouldn’t just change this main plot in order to make a couple happen, so instead they gave the public what they wanted by making Petra bisexual and introducing a perfect girl for her, also called Jane, to deliver the wish of fans. This relationship worked purely and on its on. The reactions with Petra bisexuality were low, and they took care of it as if it was something normal and not anything that needed satanizing. No one could be expected to freak, not even Petra’s twins. Even though the first seasons Petra only had male relationships. This is a good thing that The CW did, but they didn’t do this out of the goodness of their heart: they did it for views and for the audience (point 2). Jane the virgin was also planned to have female audiences and to treat serious social issues respecting sexuality and love. This is why it didn’t came as a surprise. 

Then why did Destiel couldn’t happen? Because the CV is homophobic? Probably there’s some of this in it, but the reality it’s they weren’t giving up on the part of the audience that is actually homophobic, or that at least won’t feel comfortable watching a heterosexual character discover himself as bi. The thing of the audiences is important because the “ambiguity” in which Cas’ confession was treated worked perfectly for them: it gave exactly the sufficient enough to keep us happy, meaning while keeping the perfect amount of “friendship”. So anyone can take whatever they want for the story. By this part I understand why they wanted to deal with this confession in an ambiguous way: to please everybody. But why did they wanted to please everybody? It wasn’t out of kindness of their heart, it was for views.The whole queerbaiting debate has being on the tables for a long time but we also ignore the unethical implications on it. It has been used by many contemporary media, to hint at something that the producers are not expecting to happen any time. And even though, they keep on teasing us. This is highly unethical because the reason behind them is the accumulation of money. Supernatural survived because of Destiel. I resisted myself to say this because I had respect for the series until I stopped watching around season 10. The story and plots were doom, repetitive and boring at times. We keep watching for the emotions caused by the supernatural family. Not only Destiel but Sam and all of the characters. The original plot explained in the point 1 was lost and blurred, we were far away from that premise and that was why the finale episode feel just bad. 

The show had chances to grow without losing the origina plot but also confronting change and accept that sometimes, things must pass and you have to move. Destiel was an important support of the show, the views and year after year renovation of the series. Pointing at the queerbaiting has lost its meaning if we forgot why they do it, why they keep on doing this even though it makes us feel bad. This affects the shows work in perspective because it changes the plot and natural progression of the story. For the queerbaiting, they have scenes that are forgotten next episodes like they never happened. I’m a literature student and the first thing they say to us is that a scene, even a word, should be taken so seriously that it actually work on the long road of the story. In Destiel we have beautiful, all heart breaking scenes of Cas and Dean being romantic, closed, just in love. The Dean’s confession were he admitted to the priest he wanted to experience new things, the Castiel’s love confession, and others are an example of how this scenes have a space in the show but are still isolated from the original story. They don’t play a part in the bigger image. That’s why we don’t see Dean talk to Sam about Cas, this is why they are so many Destiel plots left unsolved. I have a small memory of an old lady assuring Dean that he’s in love, even though we haven’t seen in a long time a female in Dean’s life (Dean, who the first four seasons flirted with e v e r y woman he met.  Because producers and writers can let this scenes happen as long as it doesn’t change the main characters. Even, they are willing to let us think that Cas could be bi but Dean isn’t, by not having him say anything after Cas says I love you. And to be honest, we didn’t except much. 

We knew that we were clowning and it’s not like we excepted a love making scene from those two. We raised our expectations after 15x18 and not after. A lot of us were waiting on the finale to bring joy even though we never actually imagined it would go canon. 15x18 lifted expectations very few had and that lots, myself for instance, returned to watch after hearing Destiel was semi-canon. It brought back feelings, I got to rewatch supernatural to enter the atmosphere once again... So it was perfect for the CW. On one hand, the biggest queerbaiting on history gave them back for 15x19 and 15x20 all the fandom they had lost for the previous queerbaiting and tiredness of waiting. And also, they keep the antis and the homophobe watching. It was perfectly staged and nothing else was expecting. Something similar happen with Jane the virgin. With the death of Michael (I rather shipped more Jane with Michael) a lot of fans stopped watching. This was planned since the beginning and they actually gave us a fake death and then the real one. I actually stopped watching one season of Jane the virgin after his death because I was devastated, even though since the beginning everything pointed at Jane ending up with Rafael. Her connection with Michael was lovely and pure love. But after killing him off they wrote the relationship of Jafael so perfectly, not rushed or anything: it developed in a way that her relationship with Michael was intact but finished by death. It was a hard punch but at the end we ended up to accept her relationship with Rafael because of the clear progression between the characters. But, at the end of the series, at the last season they decided it was good idea to bring Michael back from the death and have her chose Rafael, after all of the progress It took for her to forget Michael. The changed her and all of the perspective of love changed for the show. It made thing that soul mates don’t exist, that all the love Jane felt for Michael disappear after having a whole season of her suffering for her lost, after she wrote her first book for him. It would’ve been so much better for the story if Michael stayed death. 

So the things is it’s not only queerbaiting on homosexual couples, but the whole idea that they need to have a huge audiences watching their last seasons. I returned to watch Jane the virgin excepting for Michael. This awful thing they do. Just for views and gain of capital bothers me and its what makes me angry. In the case of Supernatural it’s also a topic of homophobia and the fear that the homophobia of a few will ruin the views of series finales. An as I considere the unethical implications is why I would love to have them apologize to us. It’s like a person promising the stars and stopping you to move on, while they know nothing will happen. They use us as numbers to gain money and attention. The decision that I and a lot of people took to unfollow all of The CW accounts is no radical. It’s a little if we take into account all of the money they made from the unethical queerbaiting. It causes me a lot of anger and actually feel like a I need an apology because I felt used and dirty. This is the fault of the industry and the CW has a fame of doing so.

 PART 2: 

This will be little in comparison. Now I want to get to the sad sentimental part. I felt all empty because four years ago that I stopped watching I also stopped talking to the love of my life. Hearing about Destiel had me going back to moments. I even desired to talk to him again to tell him that I wasn’t all wrong. Destiel wasn’t platonic or an illusion. it has clearly staged to makes us think it could happen. It’s not the story of an angel who falls for a human, that gives everything up for him, that loves him. After his confession is the story of unrequited love. Dean never says it back and it’s a feeling that a lot of people have suffered. To love someone and not having them saying them back, of the relationship that never ends but at the end it’s one of the most important. This one I talked about I never dated, I never kissed, but he’s the man i’ve loved the most in my life. Having Castiel saying I love you and never receiving anything back, giving his life and no one saving him, it’s just heartbreaking for all of us who have constantly giving everything without expecting anything in return. At the same time it’s the story of a a couple that never happens but that should have. The same reflexion as always: if it were heterosexual it would’ve happen long time ago. But it also happens in real life, that if time alined, if things were in other way relationships would’ve happen with people in our lives.I had a lot of more feelings for Destiel, but that would be for another time. Right now I just realized why made me, personally, feed angry and sad. I realized I was a Cas to someone else. I realized I was used by a network. The queerbaiting actually has psychology repercussion on us, and it’s something they fail to understand. Accepting that I was affected by a tv show took me a hard time. I didn’t know how to explain to others why this had me absence for week, I thought I was ridiculous and week. I felt bad but know I realized I’m not wrong. It’s not my fault but it’s years of messing with out feelings on purpose. Some day i’ll write an essay on this. I have to much to say but I end it with this:

The media manipulates our emotions and doesn’t take any responsibility whatsoever. 

Don’t trust the media.

(Sorry for the bad english, I’m mexican. But at least Destiel is canon in my language). 

[himbo-buckley]

Intimacy, Sex and Buddie (better known as I have a lot of feelings about this show, some of which are related to the before mentioned topics) - Part 2

G’day friends, family and lost travelers! Welcome back to another instance of: I read too much into things!

This is where we really dive into the Character analysis and it’s gonna be a fun ride!!! (well, maybe. For me at least because thanks to 3.16 I am living! That episode validated me so much and now I truly believe I am right)

This is part two of a three part Meta / Character Analysis, and while you probably don’t need to read part 1, I would recommend it, so here is the link:

part 1

Also:

I should preface this by saying this meta was supposed to be a lot shorter and only talk about how both Buck and Eddie use sex to distract their respective partners from whatever topic they actually wanted to talk about but since I decided to rewatch the show to make sure I don’t miss any such scenes, it has exploded a bit and taken on more topics.

I should also mention that I am a Buddie shipper and while I tried, you will find several references and arguments for the ship in this Meta, not all of which necessarily call for a romantic pairing but just: These two are deeply connected and you cannot look at one without discussing the other and they are each other’s strongest emotional connection.

I should also preface this by saying that the whole of the 118 has some obvious intimacy / commitment issues except Bobby (which is sort of surprising) but *John Mulaney* voice we don’t have time to unpack all of that!

On another note I cuss a little in this Meta because my parents let me listen to TicTacToe as a small child and after that it never stuck that cussing is wrong so, uhm, parental supervision is advised or something?

This Meta will so far have three parts (this is part two), one for each season and is organised by episode so you could technically follow along

So here goes nothing, Season 2: (Also called „Why is Ryan naked so much?“)

Episode 2.01:

I’m not gonna talk a lot about this episode, because I feel like it’s been analysed to death already. Important to know is that Buck hasn’t yet given up on Abby coming back (see the shower scene), he is very lonely and there is a lot of homo- erotic tension.

Basically this episode goes like this:

Buck *after meeting Eddie*: nooooo, Dad, I don’t want a brother! He’s better than me! Put him back where he came from!

Eddie *takes one look at Buck*: Ui, you guys lied, he’s an ass - I like it! This is way better! We’re gonna be friends!

And then Buddie decides to something stupid to prove themselves (to each other) and they end up saving the day and bonding.

Also Eddie saying: „You guys hungry?“ after the Ambulance blows up? Iconic! He is such a little shit.

Episode 2.02 / 2.03:

(I’m putting them together because two-parter)

This episodes truly proves how hard they’ve already bonded, despite Buck not even knowing Eddie has a kid yet, especially from Eddie’s point of view: I actually think he started seeing Buck as his partner first. 

I love how he always takes charge, even in his first episode and expects Buck to go along with it - which Buck does (after some initial reluctance), because Buck is good at following orders and trusts Eddie. It might be an army thing, probably is an Eddie likes control thing. What is truly unique about Buddie, is the fact that Eddie defers to Buck’s judgement as needed, something he doesn’t do with anyone else, I think, unless the chain of command tells him to. Just look at how annoyed he is by Ali and her interfering.

That being said it really isn’t all to relevant for this meta, except to say: Interest- ing how fast they trusted each other and became a unit - I guess it’s true what they say: birds of a feather flock together.

Episode 2.04:

Here we get our first real insights into Eddie’s character (aside from that he is a little shit and likes to take charge) as well as some very nice shots of the man’s body, proving my theory that someone in charge really wants to get busy with Ryan Guzman. Which I am not exactly complaining about.

I do think however it’s a very noticable shift from the way they treat the other young, attractive guy in the cast. I talked about this a little in the first part of this Meta, how they went out of their way to hold Buck accountable and make him relatable, but refused to bank on his sex appeal, aside from a few scenes which mostly were about explaining why Abby reached out to him (and uh, we do not need to talk about how creepy that really was, do we?). Eddie though really gets sexualised from the get go. Or maybe that’s just me and I missed something? (Someone with more insight on such topics take the wheel? Because that really isn’t my area of expertice and I don’t wanna say anything false)

A main difference between Buck and Eddie at this point (or in general) is that Buck is always looking for connection. He craves emotional intimacy but it scares him because he cares too much and people keep leaving so he searches out physical intimacy - or he used to. Actually by Season 2 Buck is actively looking to connect emotionally with another person.

Eddie on the other hand isn’t even on the same level as Pilot!Buck, because he avoids both physical and emotional intimacy (except with Buck because, you know, steam engine). The episode implies that it might be caused by Shannon leaving, but the rest of Season 2 and specifically Season 3 show us that it’s an Eddie thing (likely caused by his upbringing if you fast forward to 3.15). And it really makes me want to know how Shannon and Eddie met and how long they had been dating before she got pregnant. Probably not that long tbh.

One thing to notice about the episode is that it parallels Eddie both with Buck (neither wants to date one of those girls, both deflect about their reasons) and with Abby - watch 1.03 and 2.04 back to back, both are about a character taking care of a special needs family member, both have another family member consider them stuck when they themselves do not and both feature Buck trying to help (passively by talking to Abby on the phone vs. actively by having Eddie and Carla meet)

Also as I pointed out in another post the conversation about dating is kind of similar to the car conversation, and I really am clowning now - which is why I will not try and parallel the conversation between Maddie and Buck with the one between Bobby and Buck in 1.09!

I still don’t fully understand the need for that scene (you know which one) aside from being another instance where the boys get sexualised and giving us our first insight into Eddie romantically and also the first time he uses Christopher as a shield (also not the last).

The general take away from the episode is that Eddie is bad at asking for help and Buck is bad at asking for permission which means they fit really well - because Eddie doesn’t have to voice his needs and Buck doesn’t have to feel bad about steamrolling him.

In terms of the overall theme of this meta your main takeaway from this episode should be:

Buck - no longer substituting physical intimacy for emotional intimacy but also not seeking out emotional intimacy, both because he has a connection through Maddie and is building one with Eddie but also because he still considers himself spoken for, though the episode ends with him realicing he might not be (and then he keeps realising, because he is one stubborn mf).

Eddie - avoiding both physical and emotional intimacy and using Christopher to deflect, mainly because he doesn’t have the time for either (but still getting a connection through Buck, thanks to someone just punching right through his boundaries)

Episode 2.05:

no relevance, our boys are barely in it

Episode 2.06:

Well, if you want to write about Buddie crumbs than yeah, definitely important. Also, you can draw a definite parallel between Abby and Taylor, because Buck knew both their voices before he saw their faces and built an emotional connection to those voices. This fits because, well, Buck is afraid of emotional intimacy, but when it’s just a voice it’s easier for him to let himself be vulnerable cause it’s not an actual person.

Plus, considering the thing with Taylor is one sided prior to their meeting, he isn’t actually cheating on Abby. Or so Buck thinks. (Also Taylor doesn’t have a chance to hurt Buck and leave him because you know, she is not aware he exists?)

Also Eddie talks about becoming a firefighter because he missed the camaraderie of the army - aka the emotional connection he had with his squadron (is that the right term?). So technically he did actively try and seek it out - to a point at least. Because, as I will discuss in Part 3, Eddie may consider the 118 his family but his relationship with the other three firefighters in not on the same level than the one he has with Buck.

Episode 2.07:

Let’s all give a warm welcome to Shannon Diaz! I like Shannon, I think she is great (I also think she and Eddie are similar because they both run away from problems which is why they would never work out - unlike another possible relationship mentioned sporadically in this Meta, hint hint ;) ... okay, moving on)

We learn that „not in the picture“ means Eddie is still married, which begs the question how much Eddie has told Carla and the 118 about Shannon up to this point (as little as possible), what they assume about her (probably the worst) and if Eddie ever sets the record straight (I’m assuming yes, because while Eddie doesn’t share - Eddie is also protective of his family and Shannon is his family for better or worse - I really wish they didn’t kill her off and instead played out the divorce storyline because there was so much chance for growth! Although that was probably too similar to Athena and Michael, which is why they didn’t do it. So they fridged her. Damn, and I am still salty about it.)

I really love when she comes to the house, because we learn so much about them as a couple. Like how her eyes grow warm when he opens the door but Eddie’s don’t but then he goes in to hug her (and you can really tell that Ryan Guzman is an athlete in the way that he always acts with his whole body and conveys so much through movement). And the fact that Shannon immediately pushes to meet Christopher (probably because with Eddie you need to push, because he is very stubborn and also in need of control), and her saying she never thought Eddie would be into something so fancy? Yet another insight into Eddie’s character and into his upbringing, which while probably not poor seems to have been fairly modest.

Also love how they fight almost right from the get go, implying that it is their normal (as proven in 3.15). They really never stood a chance!

There is a lot of backstory we get through their fighting, both at the house and at the school, most notably that even in marriage Eddie was never able to fully open up to Shannon - aka be emotionally intimate with her. Which made her feel very alone.

And I don’t wanna defend Shannon and her actions because other people have said it before and this is not what this Meta is about but I can see her point of view. With Eddie and the way he just always needs to be in control and make the decisions she probably thought she had to do something drastic to get him to notice her and her struggles.

Interestingly enough Eddie is emotionally vulnerable with Shannon at the end when he tells her that he understands why she left and that he misses her, but then he immediately kisses her and look, we don’t know what happens next  but we can guess from the latter episodes.

And look, tbh with Eddie it’s a little bit harder to draw the line between physical and emotional intimacy than with Buck because Eddie’s love language is touch and actions, so technically in a way he is always emotionally intimate when he is physically intimate (probably why he didn’t wanna go out with any of the girls in 2.04 - Eddie, different to Buck, can not just separate feelings from sex, while Buck has a hard time reconciling the two)

On Buck’s side of this Meta he finally comes to terms with Abby leaving, which doesn’t have too much relevance for this meta except there are a lot of parallels between Buddie in terms of: how long is too long to wait - because while Eddie pretends to have given up on Shannon, he actually hasn’t, whereas Buck outwardly is still waiting for Abby but on the inside has given up hope - something they both come to terms with in this episode

Episode 2.08:

Fun fact: The german title of this Episode is Lovestorys. Can you guess if there is anything of relevance in it?

Okay, first off for the millionth time, in case you haven’t read part 1 or you aren’t convinced yet or maybe you just forgot: Evan „Buck“ Buckley was never a sex addict. Kay? Good.

Also, remember when I said the show doesn’t sexualise Oliver the way it does Ryan? Yeah, this episode exactly. Buck has sex twice and we see less of his body than of Eddie just getting out of bed. Is it a contract thing? Was Ryan always running around naked on set? Did Oliver refuse to take his shirt off? Is he always cold because he’s vegan? Should I figure out Twitter just to ask the cast these questions?

(Also, remember when I said with Buck it’s mostly Girl on top, yay, it stays true)

In terms of actual relevant story, there’s that woman on the freeway (highway? Idk guys, I’m not from the US) reinforcing that Buck has finally accepted that Abby and him are over and then there’s the Taylor Kenny - story, which is sort of just beating the bush of sexual vs emotional intimacy with Buck trying for the latter and only finding the former (remember the Brunette from the Pilot? Yeah, that’s why I’m reminding you).

What I like is the fact that, after spending so much time calling out Buck 1.0 (and they should, because stealing a fire truck? Twice? Babe, for realsies?), this episode went: look, maybe girls like meaningless sex, too? Although, technically they have been telling us from the the beginning, that those girl were using Buck in the same way he was using them (again with the Brunette) - Buck just never understood that until Taylor.

We also get the soulmate scene with the very sweet couple, once again, rein- forcing how lonely Buck is and how much he is craving love and a connection and stability. That really is what his character boils down to at the end of the day: a lost kid trying to find his place in the world. And now I’m sad.

As for the Ali storyline, oh man, I’d really rather ignore it? Not because I have anything against the character per sey it’s just - we get to see their first meeting and then 5 episodes later their first date and by the end of the season they are in love love except by Season 3 she is gone? And in between she is hardly ever mentioned? So I really don’t know how to comment on their relationship in terms of this meta and what it means for Buck except: I think it was one of those right times right moment kind of things and Buck is sort of transfering a lot of his wishes and needs and feelings onto her, but their relationship has a weak foundation, which is why it ended so fast (except we don’t know how fast it ended because there is a 5 month gap between Season 2 and 3 and the breakup gets mentioned one (1) time. Soooooo...)

And Eddie, well, he was in the episode.

Episode 2.09:

I like this episode a lot and it tells us so much about Hen’s issues, but in terms of this meta: no relevance!

Sidenote: I do always forget they did Hen before they did Chim. Then again this episode in general feels very disconnected because there was no prompting, no connection to the present.

Episode 2.10:

Ah, yes, that one! The gift that keeps on giving in terms of Eddie and this meta (and also Buddie, but I’m trying not to be ship-y around here)

(One tiny sidenote though, I do think we see Eddie roll of off Shannon, and, while I don’t want to reinforce some stereotype about Top and Bottom, because I am not a gay man and therefore not qualified to comment, with Buck it’s generally girl on top? So Buck usually lets his partner set the pace while Eddie prefers to be the one in control? Okay, you know what, let’s just say it fits with their characters and maybe they match and leave it at that?)

(also, again with the Ryan shirtless, I mean, not that I am complaining, it’s just ... yeah, please, someone who knows this stuff come talk to me about it and explain because I don’t know and maybe I am seeing things?)

(sidenote #3 with actual relevance: They did not mention Buck’s girlfriend even once. They never do until the final.)

First of, this episode proofs what I said before: With Eddie there is no separating Sex and feelings. It is interconnected („We are working things out.“).

Also there is a point to be made about Eddie and control. So far we have always seen Eddie be the one in control and make decisions and this is our first real indicator that it actually bothers him, that maybe he wants someone else to tell him what’s right or wrong, too.

I’m gonna fast forward a bit, because we are nearly at the end of Season 3 irl and so far we have seen Eddie ask for help several times but only with two people - Buck and Lena - he actually takes the advice. I don’t want to say too much because it really fits better in Season 3, but wether you ship them or not, it is noticeable that out of everyone Buck is the one Eddie let’s help the most. The one he trusts the most.

(Man, they are both just two lost boys looking for their home, aren’t they? (and now I am sad again.))

There is also the topic of trust brought up, which you know, we hear about a few times from Eddie, and it really is such a big thing for him, isn’t it?

To fast forward again, that is one big difference between Eddie and Buck. Both struggle with self worth and trust but while Buck’s biggest problem is that he doesn’t trust people to like him, if they actually get to know him (or if they even want to get to know him), Eddie just plain old does not trust people? Because Eddie is a pessimist, so he doesn’t even try to connect, while Buckeroo trusts way too much and too easily and he is such an optimist and gives away everything and then he still isn’t enough - and then and only then does he give up hope (which is something we see happen in canon maybe twice? With Abby, maybe with Ali, and with Christopher, but again, Season 3 you guys!)

These two really are the different sides of the same coin, huh?

In relevance to this Meta, Eddie is trying very much this whole episode to be open and vulnerable and he struggles so much because he is very scared. The main issue with Eddie is always (and specifically with Shannon) by making himself vulnerable, he opens Christopher up to getting hurt as well (and vice versa because he can’t let Shannon into his son’s life without letting her into his own life) and this is what we see him struggle with in this episode and also what intensifies his already existing issues with intimacy throughout the show in general, his need to protect his son. 

It should be noted that in the end Eddie puts Christopher’s wishes above his own well-being which is in fact what he will always do because Christopher is the most important person in his life.

As for Buck in this episode, well, after having so much development in his last episode, he really was there more as a sounding board for other characters. However I will mention that, after the show points out the whole thing is none of his business twice, Eddie then turns around and makes the Shannon thing Buck’s business, because well, connected and all that. Trusting and giving up control. Emotional intimacy. Just repeating myself now.

Episode 2.11: No relevance.

Episode 2.12: No relevance.

Episode 2.13: No real relevance.

There is the scene in the hospital between Buck and Eddie that reinforces the peas in a pot thing they got going on and a reverse from the Christmas Episode when Eddie asked Buck about what he should do. Here Eddie acts as the sounding board (even though Buck has already done the thing but then so has Eddie by hiding Shannon).

This is also yet another instance of Buck trying to help another person with no regard for his own safety but I’m with Eddie here: I have sisters as well. I too would do countless stupid things to save them with no regard to my own safety and I’m a girl - I was not raised on the believe that is was my job to protect them from harm like both Buck and Eddie probably were (because gender rolls).

Also Buck thinks it’s his fault that Doug even found Maddie and Eddie explains to him why its bull. To reinforce the whole connection thing, it is very noticeable that these two always give each other exactly what the other needs - with Eddie from the get go always working on building up Buck’s self worth and Buck always lending a hand to Eddie and taking control when needed (remember Carla? That was Buck taking control for Eddie because Eddie didn’t know what to do).

There is also the short scene when Shannon comes to the hospital and it prob- ably did a lot to help rebuild Eddies trust in his wife.

Episode 2.14:

STOP MAKING EVAN BUCKLEY WORRY ABOUT HIS FAMILY 2k21 (because it’s too late for anything before that)

It’s also our first real: Eddie can be a dumbass, too sighting and there is that one scene (you know which one) which in text is not shippy at all, but ended up in every gifset because Oliver is looking at Ryan like he wants to eat him alive.

Aside from that, this episode really isn’t about them and that’s okay.

Episode 2.15: Crime is hard. That is all.

Episode 2.16: No relevance.

Episode 2.17:

First of all, Eddie is not shirtless? At the beach? Damn, what’s wrong, 911? Is it because Gavin was there? Have you used up all your contracted shirtless scenes by now? Did Ryan find out he was the only one running around set half naked?

Also poor Eddie, you know, you’d think getting married your done having those: what are we - conversations and then bam: there it is again. He really can’t catch a break, can he?

Also I know it’s been said before, but I’ll say it again: Eddie Diaz is not in love with Shannon. Maybe he has never been or maybe he just stopped at some point, but right then and there he isn’t in love with her. He does however love her deeply (she is after all the mother of his son) and she is his family which is sort of where the problem in their relationship lies. Because Eddie, who has problems with trust and intimacy, frankly doesn’t care enough about Shannon (and also doesn’t trust her enough) to try and be open and vulnerable with her, which is what he needs to be in order for them to work, a fact that Shannon seems to be aware of and have accepted.

(Because if you have to wait for a sign on what to do in your relationship, yeah, you already know - you’re just not accepting it.)

And this episode is so heartbreaking and I just had to stop myself from ugly crying because Shannon loves Christopher so very much. And I just hate that they killed her off, so in my mind I have already half plotted a fix it fic in which she survives because that was just unnecessary angst.

Though that’s the topic of another post.

In terms of the relationship-story I am similarly floored as I am by the „Help!“ scene because (at least for me) this is the first time I have seen media really address that yes, you can be a good parent and still not be ready for a serious relationship because those two things are very different. Sure, you sometimes see examples of it through subtext but never before has it been so outright stated.

And I like that both Shannon and Eddie ask themselves that question, but come to a different conclusion - or actually they don’t. Like I said above, for Eddie this relationship fits because it’s easy and he doesn’t have to change or better adapt. He can just keep avoiding the hard stuff (being vulnerable) and still have the good stuff (sex). And then Shannon might be pregnant again and look at his speech at the restaurant: He is basically saying our child is awesome, so we should get back together because if we make such awesome children than we can’t be that bad together. And that is so very wrong, which Shannon understands.

The problem is, that Eddie doesn’t fully understand why their marriage hasn’t worked in the first place. If you tie it into 3.15 Eddie Begins, I think for Eddie, the reason why Shannon left him was a little to get back at him for leaving her and a lot about feeling left alone and being unable to cope with raising their child alone, but all of that is gonna be different now because he will be there for her physically and emotionally as he is no longer in the army! So the issue is solved. They should be a family again. Even without a new kid. After all: they love each other.

And look, those are all fair reasons and true but the thing Eddie doesn’t understand about relationships in general and his marriage to Shannon in particular is that she also needs him to be emotionally vulnerable with her. Shannon needs Eddie to let her be there for him, just like he is trying to be there for her. Because relationships are always a two way street.

SO obviously this is where the episode ended. There were no more scenes af- ter that. Nope. Bit weird how it was so short but you do you, 911, you do you!

And well, Buck was there too.

Episode 2.18:

I’m just gonna come out and say it: Ramon and Helena are bad parents. Flying to your daughter-in-law’s funeral only to bad mouth her and then try to take your son’s son away again? Yeah, I do not like your style. I wonder how much of Eddie Begins was already planned at this point or if they built that plot about his family for 3.15 based on this episode. Huh. We might never know. (except Twitter)

Also me thinks Eddie choose LA because of Pepa and Abuela, not because of Shannon. She was probably just a bonus.

As for Buck (and Ali): the actors seem to have had fun doing those scenes? I guess? Other than that it’s a little cringy and very out of nowhere and probably more caused by the show having money left over and deciding to built a new set. ANd damn what a set. I wonder how Buck is supposed to be able to afford that because that apartment has probably about 50-75m2 considering there is a kitchen and a living room as well as a room behind the living room and probably an extra room in the upper floor as well (someone do a floorplan and also tell me why Buck needs so much space and wether they think I could move in with him. My apartment is not this nice and LA isn’t that long a commute).

Point being I don’t know why they brought Ali back in the first place, especially in this episode. She was never mentioned after their first date, so why? Just to give people something to discuss during hiatus?

There was no point to have those two incredibly lovey dovey scenes only to have that scenes about what he wants to do next because all those scenes? Would have worked just fine with, you know, his sister (except a little different because incest). Who actually has the what if you can’t go back to being a firefighter - scene with him. So why have a girlfriend you barely introduced and never used before? I’m not mad, 911, just confused! (Fuck me, I really am getting twitter)

As for the topic of this meta, there really isn’t much too tell. Ali honestly doesn’t figure into things except to create more abandonment issues.

I should point out that this episode reinforced the whole Buddie connection thing - from Eddie holding Buck’s hand the whole while he’s pinned to saying „Almost (back to normal)“ to Buck going to Eddie’s ceremony despite probably still being on somewhat of a bed rest.

Other than that, that’s it for Season 2. Whew!

Before I let ya’ll off the hook, though (look, you’ve read it this far, you can now just bear it a bit longer) I wanna comment real quick:

Compared to Season 1 Buck barely had any character development (mainly because he had so much in Season 1 and sometimes stuff like that needs to settle - real life would be the same way)

Eddie however has nearly no development at all and in fact as of Season 3, not a lot has changed in that regard. His issues just became more obvious. Which is something I actually like a lot, because one: he went through a lot of shit in a fairly short amount of time and two: he is such a stubborn and reserved character, anything else wouldn’t be in character and ultimately feel rushed. Plus, because this is his personality it’s feels like we’re actually getting to know him like you would a person in real life? Piece by piece, no unnecessary exposition. Or maybe that’s just me, I don’t really know anything about storytelling.

I also want to comment on Buddie real quick because it would be dishonest if I didn’t and also it’s just glaring me in the face:

The thing is, while I do not necessarily believe they have any intention of making them romantic (because I have been burned too often and just recently by a show that liked to praise itself for its diversity (so a heartfelt fuck you to Sera Gamble and who ever decided to kill off Quentin Coldwater, because that character mattered so much and you destroyed it)), I do think we are right when we talk about connection and parallels and being each others person and just generally being each others closest relationship. Because they parallel their stories so much and they connect them so often and they did do it from the get go like as early as Episode 4 - which was already written and probably already shot by the time Episode 1 aired. So there. I said it. Buddie is real, wether it’s platonic or romantic, it is real. And that also matters!

(although of course if they went with romantic? That would matter a bit more! Tim Minear, listen to me, you could make TV history! This would be bigger than Supergirl making the sister gay in the second season! Ya’ll would be legends, revered by fans for years to come! Also I’d bake you a cake?)

And there you have it! Season 2! We made it! And only like 2000 words more than Season 1.

Can you believe at this point I have written nearly 10.000 words on these two exceptional characters and their issues? And it’s technically only one issue, like I’m ignoring so much stuff just glaring at me right now!

(also on a side note, this is where I tag @angelcamael , who asked me to do so and @greyhello because she inspired me to write this meta in the first place and while it is now ... no longer about that original topic, I’m still gonna tag her)

[dajokahhh]

Alright, time for some pretentious sociological-esque rambling. This is gonna be long as hell (its 1822 words to be specific) and I don’t begrudge anyone for not having the patience to read my over-thought perspectives on a murder clown. CWs for: child abuse, 

I think a lot of things have to go wrong in someone’s life for them to decide to become a clown themed supervillain. A lot of people in Gotham have issues but they don’t become the Joker. I think that as a writer it’s an interesting topic to explore, and this is especially true for roleplaying where a character might be in different scenarios or universes. This isn’t some peer reviewed or researched essay, it’s more my own personal beliefs and perspectives as they affect my writing. I think villains, generally, reflect societal understandings or fears about the world around us. This is obviously going to mean villains shift a lot over time and the perspective of the writer. In my case, I’m a queer, fat, mentally ill (cluster B personality disorder specifically) woman-thing who holds some pretty socialist ideas and political perspectives. My educational background is in history and legal studies. This definitely impacts how I write this character, how I see crime and violence, and how my particular villains reflect my understandings of the society I live in. I want to get this stuff out of the way now so that my particular take on what a potential origin story of a version of the Joker could be makes more sense.

Additionally, these backstory factors I want to discuss aren’t meant to excuse someone’s behaviour, especially not the fucking Joker’s of all people. It’s merely meant to explain how a person (because as far as we know that’s all he is) could get to that point in a way that doesn’t blame only one factor or chalk it up to “this is just an evil person.” I don’t find that particularly compelling as a writer or an audience member, so I write villains differently. I also don’t find it to be particularly true in real life either. If you like that style of writing or see the Joker or other fictional villains in this way, that’s fine. I’m not here to convince anyone they’re wrong, especially not when it comes to people’s perspectives on the nature of evil or anything that lofty. Nobody has to agree with me, or even like my headcanons; they’re just here to express the very specific position I’m writing from. 

The first thing I wanna do is set up some terms. These aren’t academic or anything, but I want to use specific and consistent phrasing for this post. When it comes to the factors that screw up someone’s life significantly (and in some instances push people towards crime), I’ll split them into micro and macro factors. Micro factors are interpersonal and personal issues, so things like personality traits, personal beliefs, mental health, family history, where and how someone is raised, and individual relationships with the people around them. Macro factors are sociological and deal with systems of oppression, cultural or social trends/norms, political and legal restrictions and/or discrimination, etc. These two groups of factors interact, sometimes in a fashion that is causative and sometimes not, but they aren’t entirely separate and the line between what is a micro vs macro issue isn’t always fixed or clear.

We’ll start in and work out. For this character, the micro factors are what determine the specifics of his actions, demeanor, and aesthetic. I think the main reason he’s the Joker and not just some guy with a whole lot of issues is his world view combined with his personality. He has a very pessimistic worldview, one that is steeped in a very toxic form of individualism, cynicism, and misanthropy. His life experience tells him the world is a cold place where everyone is on their own. To him the world is not a moral place. He doesn’t think people in general have much value. He learned at a young age that his life had no value to others, and he has internalized that view and extrapolated it to the world at large; if his life didn’t matter and doesn’t matter, why would anyone else’s? This worldview, in the case of my specific Joker, comes from a childhood rife with abandonment, abuse, and marginalization. While I will say he is definitively queer (in terms fo gender expression and non conformity, and sexuality), I’m not terribly interested in giving specific diagnoses of any mental health issues. Those will be discussed more broadly and in terms of specific symptoms with relation to how they affect the Joker’s internal experience, and externalized behaviours.

His childhood was, to say the least, pretty fucked up. The details I do have for him are that he was surrendered at birth because his parents, for some reason, did not want to care for him or could not care for him; which it was, he isn’t sure. He grew up effectively orphaned, and ended up in the foster care system. He wasn’t very “adoptable”; he had behavioural issues, mostly violent behaviours towards authority figures and other children. He never exactly grew out of these either, and the older he got the harder it was to actually be adopted. His legal name was Baby Boy Doe for a number of years, but the name he would identify the most with is Jack. Eventually he took on the surname of one of his more stable foster families, becoming Jack Napier as far as the government was concerned. By the time he had that stability in his mid to late teens, however, most of the damage had already been done. In his younger years he was passed between foster families and government agencies, always a ward of the government, something that would follow him to his time in Arkham and Gotham’s city jails. Some of his foster families were decent, others were just okay, but some were physically and psychologically abusive. This abuse is part of what defines his worldview and causes him to see the world as inherently hostile and unjust. It also became one of the things that taught him that violence is how you solve problems, particularly when emotions run high. 

This was definitely a problem at school too; moving around a lot meant going to a lot of different schools. Always being the new student made him a target, and being poor, exhibiting increasingly apparent signs of some sort of mental illness or disorder, and being typically suspected as queer (even moreso as he got into high school) typically did more harm than good for him. He never got to stay anywhere long enough to form deep relationships, and even in the places where he did have more time to do that he often ended up isolated from his peers. He was often bullied, sometimes just verbally but often physically which got worse as he got older and was more easily read as queer. This is part of why he’s so good at combat and used to taking hits; he’s been doing it since he was a kid, and got a hell of a lot of practice at school. He would tend to group up with other kids like him, other outcasts or social rejects, which in some ways meant being around some pretty negative influences in terms of peers. A lot of his acquaintances were fine, but some were more... rebellious and ended up introducing Jack to things like drinking, smoking cigarettes, using recreational drugs, and most important to his backstory, to petty crimes like theft and vandalism, sometimes even physical fights. This is another micro factor in that maybe if he had different friends, or a different school experience individually, he might have avoided getting involved in criminal activities annd may have been able to avoid taking up the mantle of The Joker.

Then there’s how his adult life has reinforced these experiences and beliefs. Being institutionalized, dealing with police and jails, and losing what little support he had as a minor and foster child just reinforced his worldview and told him that being The Joker was the right thing to do, that he was correct in his actions and perspectives. Becoming The Joker was his birthday present to himself at age 18, how he ushered himself into adulthood, and I plan to make a post about that on its own. But the fact that he decided to determine this part of his identity so young means that this has defined how he sees himself as an adult. It’s one of the last micro factors (when in life he adopted this identity) that have gotten him so entrenched in his typical behaviours and self image.

As for macro factors, a lot of them have to do specifically with the failing of Gotham’s institutions. Someone like Bruce Wayne, for example, was also orphaned and also deals with trauma; the difference for the Joker is that he had no safety net to catch him when he fell (or rather, was dropped). Someone like Wayne could fall into the cushioning of wealth and the care of someone like Alfred, whereas the Joker (metaphorically) hit the pavement hard and alone. Someone like the Joker should never have become the Joker in the first place because the systems in place in Gotham should have seen every red flag and done something to intervene; this just didn’t happen for him, and not out of coincidence but because Gotham seems like a pretty corrupt place with a lot of systemic issues. Critically underfunded social services (healthcare, welfare, children & family services) that result in a lack of resources for the people who need them and critically underfunded schools that can’t offer extra curricular activities or solid educations that allow kids to stay occupied and develop life skills are probably the most directly influential macro factors that shaped Jack into someone who could resent people and the society around him so much that he’d lose all regard for it to the point of exacting violence against others. There’s also the reality of living in a violent culture, and in violent neighbourhoods exacerbated by poverty, poor policing or overpolicing, and being raised as a boy and then a young man with certain gendered expectations about violence but especially ideas/narratives that minimalize or excuse male violence (especially when it comes to bullying or violent peer-to-peer behaviour under the guise of ‘boys will be boys’). 

Beyond that, there’s the same basic prejudices and societal forces that affect so many people: classism, homphobia/queerphobia, (toxic) masculinity/masculine expectations, and ableism (specifically in regards to people who are mentally ill or otherwise neurodivergent) stand out as the primary factors. I’m touching on these broadly because if I were to talk about them all, they would probably need their own posts just to illustrate how they affect this character. But they definitely exist in Gotham if it’s anything like the real world, and I think it’s fair to extrapolate that these kinds of these exist in Gotham and would impact someone like The Joker with the background I’ve given him.

I have no idea how to end this so if you got this far, thank you for reading!

[ciriceart]

IN THE ABSENCE OF GOOD IDEAS - Another non-comprehensive playlist

You spend another hour trying to find each other, to recognize each other. You drink a little too much, and try a little too hard. And you go home to a cold bed and think, that was fine. And your life is a long line of fine.

What if there was another story?

A History of Bad Men

It's easy for me, I got a head start running away [...] How did you learn to be sick, so cunning / It's easy to sing, but you just keep on humming along / Did you hear that? I got a real bad feeling

This is not the place for you to be in, my man. Stop ignoring the red flags, you gotta get outta there! This one works very well thematically. The instrumentals and vocals really drag on and give a good look into Cirice’s general disposition as well as his taste in music. He likes sludgy, doom and gloom-type shit. 

Everyone Gets Left Behind

Sometimes we're drunker than a little / And I swear I don't have to throw up (liar) / And the best times are always the worst with the people we love [...] I must have died and gone to Heaven / 'Cause this is boring as Hell

Works for both early and later plot points! No further commentary necessary.

Some Kind of Disaster Relief

You got more trouble than you can handle, honey! / The fuck you gonna do? How you gonna scrape on by? / I do believe that there are two things you do in this situation / Leave town, or go into hiding / Cause some people got brains and other people got talent, others just look good / You and me, we got none of those things, but listen up [...] It's a rabbit suffocating in a rabbit hole / It's politics as usual.

Lyrics-wise, this song doesn't have very much to do with what’s going on outside of the intro. The intro is pretty fucking spot on. (If you ignore the glaring issue of P2 having more than enough brains/talent/looks for the both of em.) 

The title is the same as a certain very important chapter, but it’s here because this is more or less what Cirice sounds like when his voice gets above mumbling-speaking level. Every time he’s depicted as loud, obnoxious and yelling, I want you to hear this intro in your head. 

Mental Illness as Mating Ritual

I'm a number, I'm a clown / I'm a ruined halfwit, in a hospital gown / You're a victim? Get in line! / It's okay, I'm damaged by design [...] This body's wrecked, but it's mine [...] It's okay, I know, better luck next time. 

Sort of coming to terms with the whole, you know, thing. Sort of. Lots of aggression, lashing out and feeling overwhelmed, and then some more lashing out for good measure, but trying very very hard to look like he’s owning it. 

Goddamn These Hands of Mine

So goddamn this city / Goddamn these people / Goddamn this weather / And goddamn these broken down hands of mine

Have you ever been so angry and tired and fed up with the nonstop inane bullshit of everybody around you and everyday life that you can’t see straight, and your hands are shaking, and you can feel your pulse hammering in your throat, and it’s made even worse by you knowing that you’re part of the problem? Don’t you get tired of (trying and failing at) being nice all the time? Don’t you just wanna go apeshit? 

This song is pretty much exactly what hypomanic agitation sounds like. Trust me. 

A Drink To Death

It'll eat your insides, your brain burns, and your skin dries / Bumbling through the alleys, like you think you're still alive / I wanna hold you closely, I wanna smell your sweat [...] There will be no candles, there will be no romance, I will be alone, we will not hold hands [...] And if I pass out, wake me up / I may be drunk, but I'm not drunk enough / We were nice together, weren't we once?

This one is a holdover from the original version of this story, which was written in late 2018, if you can believe it. During the rewriting process, I thought it would be nice to write something... nice. I still have a lot of fondness for this song in the context of II/Cirice - it still works quite well for both of their inner disasterbrain feelings and respective bad coping skills, even if it isn’t as applicable anymore in a literal sense. Doesn’t mean they can’t still dance half-drunk in the office past closing time to some That Handsome Devil played over shitty desktop speakers.  

There You Are (Hiding Place)

Stumbled on a long walk somewhere / So many places we don't belong / So few we do [...] I was afraid to find an older me alive in you [...] And you go silent by your own hands / You break down and you leave / You go nightly with my panic / I get angry / I can't sleep

This one is... a lot. Probably one of the most important songs, relationship-wise, but I don’t have many words as to why. I’m mostly sort of embarrassed to even explain this one in detail. The song speaks for itself, probably. 

Pepper

I don't mind the sun sometimes, the images it shows / I can taste you on my lips and smell you in my clothes / Cinnamon and sugary and softly spoken lies / You never know just how you look through other people's eyes

The listing of names and descriptors that make up the bulk of this song does a fairly good job of capturing, I guess, the way that Cirice views the happenings around him. He listens to a lot of shit from a lot of people; it’s part of his job at first, before he moves on to the job given to him by Papa II later on. 

There’s a clear image that I have of Cirice leaving the administrative building right around sunset and pausing on the front steps before he starts making his way home. He listens to his headphones during work a lot and Pepper makes for a pretty damn good “walking home and contemplating some interesting new tender feelings” song, in my experience. “I don’t really give a fuck about all the rest of this shit, but I kind of give a major fuck about you” kinda vibes. 

Fun fact, this song also played a role in figuring out Cirice’s “voice”. In the instances where he’s feeling shut down and closed off, this is a close approximation of what he sounds like. 

And just like the previous post, these are only a couple songs. They’re mostly in order now though, seeing as pretty much anyone aware of father cirice is aware of the circumstances of his backstory. 

Next up is (drumroll) the Nihil/Imperator 80s road trip ficm, which gives me a crisis every time I get sent an update/asked to read something over. I’ll probably type up some stuff later after Shiv has another listen to my playlist to make sure the mood is right =^) 

[flying-elliska]

Hi Ellie!! I hope u dont mind this ask ❤Do u have any advice on how to do stuff on your checklist and not get overwhelmed? I can hardly do one thing out of my to do list and then i get severely depressed for not being able to do anything. i dont think i can function like a human being sometimes. anyway youre so cool ellie!!! i admire you loads!!! - help asked from one adhd struggling teen

HI anon ! I’m sorry for not answering sooner i had a beautiful answer ready and then Tumblr just ate it T_T anyway i don’t mind at all i think it’s awesome that you’re asking me ! this is honestly still something I’ve struggled a lot with. here are a few things that helped me (keep in mind i’m not a professional and this is only my personal, limited point of view) :

- ofc the first thing is to get as much help as you can, there are lots of people out there who can help. Generally talk to people around you about your problems ; often they want to help and just don’t know how : i know the tendency to feel ashamed and keep it in but that’s not good. Some people might be a bit ignorant so maybe keep a few ressources on hand you can send to people to educate them if that’s an issue ; and educate yourself so you feel more secure and legitimate in your opinions. 

- one thing that’s helped me lots is to go on #ADHDtwitter and #Neurodiversesquad because a lot of people on there are actual adults who are sharing both their struggles but also tips on how to actually manage the symptoms and have full and happy, if messy, lives. It’s very inspiring. It helped me a lot to feel understood, less alone and gave me a ton of ideas. Some accounts to start with : @ danidonovan - @ blkgrllostkeys @ ADHD_Alien (her comics are so cute) @ dustyexner plus lots of others

- regarding having trouble doing things, this is definitely a Big Damn Problem for adhd folks. the concept of the emotional Wall of Awful really helped me with this, you can find more about it in this Youtube video by the awesome How To ADHD channel (all her videos are so helpful !! have a look!) basically the idea is that we accumulate emotions linked to certain tasks based on unhappy past emotions that make it a lot harder for us to do things and that building it down takes a lot of time and effort but there are ways to work with/around that. learning to process, connect to and be more mindful of our emotions is a huge task, but it’s often a central one. 

- don’t try too hard to be neurotypical aka ‘normal’. find the solutions that work for YOU. If they’re a bit weird ? Whatever. The point is that it works. You will probably end up having weird routines that make no sense to others but it doesn’t matter as long as it helps you. Be creative and don’t be afraid to think outside the box. I’ll give you an example :  one of the reasons i hate going to bed early is because late at night is when i feel the most free of outside obligations and therefore i don’t want to give that up. So instead what i’ve been trying to do from time to time is a ‘clown hour’ where i basically give myself permission to do whatever the fuck i want (within reason lmao) but in an active way ; basically indulge my rebellious inner 8 yr old. Last time I ended up watching martial arts videos on youtube and practicing kickboxing kicks on the Mulan soundtrack and then put on funeral music and improvised my own eulogy by thinking about what i would like people to say about me after my death. Lmao that sounds completely wack when explained to other people but the point is - stuff like that really helped me reconnect to the idea that my time is mine to do with as i please, not just late at night. Anyway my point is : make it fun, make it a game, try things, experiment. Our brains crave novelty and if they don’t have it and feel burdened by shame, pressure and expectations of course they get depressed and stuck. Give your brain the fuel it needs to work. 

- just accept that sometimes you’re going to be a mess. it’s okay. you can be a bit of a mess and also live a fully, happy, joyous life. our society puts so much pressure on us to have this Perfect Instagram Life where everything is polished to unrealistic standards and gives us the idea that your morals are linked to productivity and if you are not constantly striving to be a Model Consumer Pretty Picture you are a Bad Person and a slob/lazy/unworthy/etc and all of that is...toxic garbage of the highest order that everyone should unlearn but especially us. related to that i would be careful with use of social media, tailor it to only give you content that makes you feel good/intellectually engaged/creative because it’s so easy for us to go into bad comparative spirals.

- tied to that be careful of your own perfectionist drives. it’s veeeeery common for adhd people to want to overcompensate their perceived shortcomings by wanting to be perfect. aka you haven’t done anything in weeks and all of a sudden you have this insane to do list where you expect yourself to turn your entire life around in a week. well, not going to happen. i’ve found it so important to limit myself. for instance what i do now is i forbid myself to put more than 5 items on any todo list. once i’ve cleared items i can add more, but not before. it’s a lot less scary that way. also prioritizing is very important so you don’t get bogged down in details.

- try to be mindful of your own energy. a big tendency of adhd people is to overpromise and underdeliver because we are enthusiastic and we want to please people but we are bad at estimating time/energy it will need. learn more about your own boundaries, what things are hard for you to do (for me, it’s socializing in groups) and what gives you energy (for me it’s writing, reading and walking in the woods) and try to balance that. learn to say no, it’s tough but necessary. So that you have enough left for the tasks you need to do. 

- create an environment that is benevolent and helpful for you in which to work/do things and that generates positive emotions. Get yourself a cute notebook. Put on happy music. Don’t forget to feed yourself. Don’t give into the urge of punishing yourself. You deserve happy good things - not overindulgence as escape - but our brains thrive on short term rewards. Bundle the unpleasant tasks with more stimulating stuff (for instance i always listen to podcasts while cleaning/grocery shopping etc). Create pleasant little routines for yourself (for instance one of the first things i try to do in the morning is do a little drawing of my emotions, it makes me happy, then i have tea and i plan my day.). Put on alarms constantly so you don’t lose track of time, but with a cool song. Find yourself cheerleaders who can encourage you in a positive way. Stuff like the pomodoro technique, timing yourself while doing a task, etc, can really help. Or telling yourself you will do a thing for ten minutes and stop when it’s unbearable, etc. Prioritize joy, pride, affection, desire to help, altruism, love, curiosity, interest and passion as motivators, instead of anxiety, guilt and shame. 

- find ways to build self esteem and confidence in your own skills. it’s often a lack of that that can block you from doing what you need to because you might be afraid of screwing it up. what I did for a while, for instance, is to keep a record of the stuff i did everyday and then extrapolated the skills i displayed from that. another thing you can do is make a list of simple skills you want to learn and find ways to do that, like youtube tutorials, etc. especially when it’s practical stuff and quick to learn, it can really feel so good, and make you more familiar with a sensation of success (and if you fail it can be a fun experiment gone wrong, and self discovery, you don’t have to be good at everything.)

- find ways to challenge yourself. depression happens for adhd people when we let ourself stagnate, isolate ourselves because of shame, and get into this idea that we are subhuman and we don’t deserve good things. that is false. you deserve a happy life. and our brains crave novelty. find your passion and indulge in it, find the things that make your brain come alive (as long as they’re healthy ofc). if you’re not sure what that is, just keep trying. you will find it. but resist the temptation to make your life smaller and smaller. you might mess up but that’s okay. it’s human and it will make for interesting stories later. instead of trying too hard to ‘fix’ yourself, focus on developping your positive sides. it will give you energy, self-respect and draw you forwards like a rocketship. we thrive on passion, not reprimand. 

- anyways : i know how tough it can be. depression is really something i struggle with, too. and doing things remains Hard. but my point is, you are not alone, and you are not broken. chances are you too, like most adhd people i know, are a fun, creative, compassionate person with a heart of gold and so much to give. our main enemy is most often the shame that comes with living in a world that is not adapted to us. but the truth is we are just playing the game of life on a much harder setting than a lot of people, and we don’t even have the manual. of course it’s going to create struggle ! so i think the best thing to do for yourself is cultivate a sense of compassion towards yourself, self acceptance, and humor. 

- as a teen you probably have a limited margin of autonomy to make your lifestyle fit your needs but - there is so much potential for it to get better ! as you grow in self knowledge and ability to make your own choices, you will find the right solutions and your life will get so much better. i have heard so many stories like this. since i got diagnosed, too, my life got a lot better. i won’t lie, it’s a lifelong process. but there is so much possible. give yourself time. you are so young, and you are definitely a human being. being human is struggling with being flawed and vulnerable and imperfect. i know the world can be shit sometimes, you probably got some negative messages - especially from your own brain bc depression definitely lies to you ! but don’t let yourself be guided by ignorance and fear. you deserve better. i bet you’re also super cool. the happier you are, the better off the world will be. so invest in yourself. educate yourself, develop your self knowledge, be kind to yourself, and keep making little steps. you’ll get there. <3

[oftripps]

“ –– wow. ”  it’s not so much a critique as it is a g-rated expletive. tripp forces a smile mid-chew and blinks. “ my tastebuds are screaming. gah–– uh, singing. singing. ”  he avoids swallowing and as ring-decorated fingers snag a napkin, wide eyes drifting to the tabletop as a small jingle breezes past tensed lips. “ ~ allergic to mushrooms ~ ”

or, alternatively: this is somethin’ new! the caspar slide pt. 2 !! & this time, it’s ‘bout to get funky !!  so i’m linc and this is tripp and he’s........ a trip, honestly, so let’s just... yeet on into this ––

( joe keery + 22 + muse 12 ) isn’t that phillip joel “tripp” goodman over there? i heard he joined faction: one after they got back to west ham. it’s funny, ‘cause they were only on the service trip because HIS BANDMATES DUPED HIM INTO THINKING THE SIGN-UP WAS FOR A WOODS-THEMED OPEN MIC GIG. hopefully they fit in there – they’re JAUNTY but also OUTRÉ. oh, i’m sure they’ll be fine.

out the door !  ( tripp goodman: a roadmap )

look up townie family in the dictionary and you’ll find a portrait of the goodmans directly beside. these folks have a looooong flippin’ legacy here in lil’ ole west ham, kansas. it all started with montgomery goodman, a good man, who helped west ham’s founders break ground on this midwestern charmer several centuries ago. and now, the goodmans still live on the same property –– a refurbished farmhouse ( now closer to mcmansion ) surrounded by five acres of roooooollin’ hills. once upon a time, they were farming folk. now, theresa and joel goodman run the town’s one and only veterinary clinic. 

honestly, growing up? tripp was a problematic kid. he’d take in frogs from the woods and start his own frog hotels. he’d sneak pets from the clinic to school who “ needed help learning their numbers ”. in class, he’d flick sunflower seeds at the backs of his peers’ heads and, when threatened with discipline, claim he simply “ wanted to see if they’d grow  ” .  so no, to answer your question–– tripp never really saw the real wrath warranted by his rulebreaking.

in fourth grade, he chose the saxophone as his required instrument. he caused such a commotion in his house, that his parents asked his teachers to suggest something quieter. the viola. the flute. the clarinet. the piano. instruments came and went,;instruments were quickly mastered and abandoned. because dear lord, how many times could they listen to the spongebob theme song played on woodwind ?!  on strings ?!  once middle school rolled around, little phillip joel knew his way around a whopping total of six instruments, a tally that would only grow in the coming years. eventually, his parents caved and allowed him to keep playing, so long as he respected instrument curfews. they gave song requests to avoid hearing the same pieces on repeat: the goodman household was probably the only one blessed with an oboe-and-beatbox rendition of under the sea. young phillip joel’s take on the issue was simple: not all heroes wore capes.

( tw: domestic unrest, mentions of violence ) theresa and joel split when tripp was 9. just seven months later, tripp’s mother moved in with her girlfriend: tripp’s guitar teacher, ms. lillith. tripp didn’t mind ms. lillith. she was chill. he came to find out she could knock back a chocolate milk almost as fast as he could, and she liked her grilled cheeses with swiss only. his best friend became a thirty-six year old woman who happened to be his mother’s girlfriend. and that was fine. he could dig it. but joel goodman? oh no. his family name was tarnished. the scandal was too much to bear. joel sued for full custody and nearly made it, thanks to hometown politics and loyalties. but then he made one fatal mistake: he crossed his own son.

at 10 years old, fifth grade phillip joel returned home to his father’s after school with three fingernails painted effervescent blue. sidney frasier made me so cool, he gushed as he put his colored nails on proud display. dad, aren’t i so cool?  the next day, his dad enrolled him in the town’s peewee football program. he returned home from his first practice with a black eye and a split lip. from a ball, the coach insisted. hit the poor fella square in the face, real strong. phillip joel put up a fight against football; it wasn’t for him. it conflicted with music practice. couldn’t he just play music with ms. lillith instead?

the custody battle persisted. they settled on a parenting schedule. joel contested, consistently, months later. and so the cycle persisted up until phillip joel’s 12th year, when he was knocked out cold on the football field. the broken ribs came from hefty tackles. bruises from the fall. concussion from the impact. but theresa spun it to her advantage: joel had since started coaching the middle school team. this was an instance of parental neglect. and, when the courts didn’t comply, she instructed her son to jump down the stairs. one broken ankle later, and joel goodman was accused of child abuse. his word against his injured son’s. the maneuver won theresa full custody. phillip joel has yet to forgive himself.

after the custody battle’s conclusion, joel stayed in town: but phillip joel didn’t want a thing to do with sharing his name. his mother still scolds him as phillip joel, but to everyone else, he became tripp –– inspired by his knack for, you guessed it!, tumbling over his own two feet.

in high school, tripp was the class clown. always smirking, always grinning, always ready to catch someone off guard. he became a pivotal part of west ham high’s jazz band, and even formed a small group with a few buds: face. they played some school events: homecoming, pep rallies, prom. garage-baked young rock, their songs often preached meetings under bleachers and high school never ending. 

in senior year, the band saw a reboot: and after assuming a more indie, spacey sound and a nifty new name –– 1757. –– they saw a rise in local celebrity. coffee shops commissioned them for jam nights. they played on the local radio. so they collectively decided to stick around and see how far they could ride this west ham fame train. with tripp as their frontman, they always leave a memorable impression: he’s not exactly the most run-of-the-mill performer.

1757.’s sound is reminiscent of LANY: i’ve reblogged a few tunes onto tripp’s blog for reference. he’s v much a paul klein / matty healy vibe. big into music. big into losing himself in it.

so what was he up to before the service trip? playin’ tunes. working part-time as a waiter. and brainstorming ways to get out of going on this trip, as soon as he realized his stupid bandmates lied about the form he signed. an open mic in the woods ! pah !  he should have known. but the concept sounded pretty flippin’ cool.

wear our shades on our nose, 'cause we're cool like that ( tripp goodman: the man, the myth, the ledge )

oh god, he’s  w e i r d .  he believes in goblins and ghosts and aliens ( oh my )!

still VERY VERY close with his mother. v broken up about not being able to get through to her, because it was about to be his parents’ wedding anniversary and they were going to anti-celebrate it with big slices of oreo cheesecake and setting things on fire.

how he feels about coming home to west ham: post apocalyptic version.

uhhhh... can he please get a waffle? specifically a cinnamon raisin waffle with extra cinnamon and a shit ton of syrup? actually. syrup with a side of waffles?

why he was banned from his personal twitter.

“ do you even lift, bruv? ”  * proceeds to pick up a teacup & lift his pinkie like a true knock-off british monarch, shitty accent included *

listens to wham! and glam rock. unironically.bluetooth speaker mounted on his bike. no helmet! like an absolute boss. he knows!! wild!! shades on. it’s 2am. it’s dark. but true swag obeys no clock.

catch him biking everywhere stranger things style, actually. his bike’s name is milo because he can roll on for miles. mess with milo and he’ll fuck u up. aka find out if you’re lactose intolerant and slip heavy cream into your meal.

has a strong vendetta against blue doritos. which might take root in some horrific experiences involving cheez wiz, cool ranch, weed, and the new york subway system at 4am on a tuesday. spring break freshman year of college. oof.

he has a lil drawwwwl. tease him about it. he’ll probably blush.

stress-hums chili’s babyback ribs without realizing. catch him singin’ that about to be murdered.

weapon of choice: kindness.

actual weapon of choice: baseball bat.

he will write little jingles to keep morale up. “ so we’re trapped / cash us inside / how bou’ dat ? ”

has a passion for introspective literary quotes. but... has somehow managed to learn each and every one wrong.

friggin’ loves superheroes even though he can’t be bothered to watch the films? he just… always used to get made fun of for liking comic books even though he never read them? “ arachnid man is uh...  heh. he’s pretty dope, huh? ” he embraces the falsehood. someone call him on it.

9/10 times if he’s in the gym, it’s just to eat his donut and watch pay-per-view movies on the bike for free.

apple pie can absolutely be breakfast if you try hard enough. jeez. get with the times, man!

he had a legitimate pet rock before going on this service trip. but has no idea where that bugger’s gone. probably got fed up with tripp serenading him with “ we will rock you ” at all hours of the night.

lawful good. will wave other drivers on forever.

got into an accident on his bike once. bitch broke his arm and he just kept on smiling.  “ no you have a nice day! and uh.... hey. mind if we like... call an ambulance? ”

low key feels like he’s the reason his parents’ marriage crumbled. low key guilty about it. low key wonders if maybe he lived up to his father’s expectations, he might have saved them a lot of grief.

give benny goodman by saint motel a listen and tell me that’s not his soul in audio form.

known for slightly hyperbolic storytelling.

pansexual as heck. falls in love. hard. it’s a mess. he can’t hide it. hence the shades.

he has brilliant hair. and it’s immortalized in his high school yearbook.

is hellbent on being a source of positivity in this terrible situation. can he interest you in a meme in these trying times? how ‘bout a granola bar? maybe a good ole game of mash?

he’s convinced this is an elaborate prank. or a social experiment. maybe aliens. but let’s not question it too much, let’s just.... have a good time? hakuna matata? no worries? lol where the twizzlers at?!

leaves a voicemail for his mother every morning and every night. maybe he cries. maybe.

he has one ear pierced because like.......... senior year of high school, he wanted to feel more cool.

allergic to mushrooms, shellfish, eggs, and harbingers of doom.

he truly boggles minds. just.... v out there? v spacey. he closes his eyes and drifts about on stage, fingers dancing on the keys, body moving in eclectic ways. he says “groovy” and fuckin’ means it. he dresses in prints inspired by grandma’s carpet. lots of half-buttoned flowy shirts, boots, tailored statement pants, dangly necklaces. he’s got his hands full of rings –– they symbolize milestones. and some are just, like... pretty. and one’s his mother’s old wedding band.

where the hell are my friends !  ( wanted connectz. )

i was gonna do a whole section on this and got lazy but like.... anything. all the things. good, bad, ugly, beautiful. hurt him. make him suffer. but also support him a bit.

i imagine he’s got a solid squad goin’. he’s in faction one too, so... hmu for those.

i feel like he’d be pretty chill with the greeks? yeah bro, he parties. he’ll chill. he’ll crack open a cold one and pretend to understand what those letters on your jacket mean! pie-apple-fate-uh? cool stuff !

ride or dies. pls.

he needs someone to like....... melt his heart. maybe someone unexpected.

thisssss got long & disorganized but yes! let’s plot! let’s do this thang! #hype!!

[ramajmedia]

10 Jokes From Cheers That Have Already Aged Poorly | ScreenRant

The contemporary culture of the 1980s was a whole world of difference away from the 2010s, and Cheers feels incredibly dated when you consider a lot of its jokes. While the series is ageless in its legacy, the younger fanbase of today will definitely have a hard time swallowing some of Cheers’ pills.

RELATED: 10 Things That Make No Sense In Cheers

Mainly, it’s because people have become more sensitive to certain things nowadays, and without the context of living in the 1980s or being aware of the culture at the time, these 10 jokes have aged very poorly indeed. The important thing to remember, though, is to have an open mind and accept that today’s way of thinking is a lot different from before.

10 "Don't You Ever Hit Me Again!"

It should go without saying that a man laying his hands on a woman is very bad, let alone having a main character from a TV show slap a woman in the face. But in the second season finale of Cheers, this is exactly what we saw.

RELATED: 10 Things Frasier Did Better Than Cheers

Here, Diane and Sam had a huge fight, one that spilled to insane levels of physicality. Diane would instigate the violence when she slapped Sam for being too mean with his words; to her immense surprise, Sam slapped her back. The two would then go back and forth with hitting one another, which was a sequence that was meant to be funny because of how childish they looked, but today it just makes us incredibly uncomfortable.

9 Rebecca Locked In The Vent By Carla

To be fair, even in the date that this episode aired this shouldn’t have been very funny. Carla was famous for being the meanest character on TV, but she crossed the line between funny and downright cruel.

In this episode, Rebecca opened up a vent in Cheers for repairs and headed inside to see what the problem was. Carla thought she’d be funny and lock Rebecca inside the confined space. Poor Rebecca was trapped in there for so many hours that she was still stuck by the episode’s end, and none of the other characters did anything to help her. In fact, Carla had even meaner things to say while she had Rebecca locked up.

8 "Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures."

Funnily enough, this was meant to be a progressive episode back in 1982, where we saw the topic of orientation come up. Looking back now, Norm, Cliff, and the rest of the patrons look like complete jerks because they felt insulted that men who weren’t interested in women were in the bar.

They assumed two effeminate men to be their targets and drove them out, only to find out the men they were after had been among them the whole time. It was meant to showcase how ignorant Norm and the others were, but nowadays the jokes come across as more mean-spirited than anything else.

7 "I'm Going To Steal Your Girlfriend."

Henri was Woody’s girlfriend’s friend from France, whose real motive was to steal her from Woody to leech off her riches. As it happened, Henri arrived at Cheers along with Kelly, where he openly told Woody that he would steal Kelly from him. 

RELATED: 10 Things You Didn’t Know About That ‘80s Show

Perhaps it was funnier back then that a guy would tell the boyfriend how he was planning on stealing the girl, but today it comes across as Kelly being very insensitive toward how uncomfortable Woody was. Henri would even be very touchy-feely with Kelly in front of Woody, but this was still supposed to be something funny rather than inappropriate.

6 "And Then, I Turned 11."

In this scene, the guys were clowning Rebecca for being a daddy’s girl. Rebecca’s truth came out in that she was still paid a stipend from her father despite being a woman in her 30s, and the gang didn’t let her hear the end of it. Frasier in particular feigned being on her side, only to tell her he was paid a stipend as well, until he turned 11.

RELATED: Big Bang Theory: 10 Hilarious Sheldon Memes That Are Too Funny

Sure, Rebecca was irresponsible for not taking control of her finances, but since today's audiences are likely to be more sympathetic to financial woes, they’ll likely take Rebecca’s side for wanting her father to support her financially.

5 "Well, You Never Hurt Me, Did You!?"

Another instance of Cheers broaching a little too close into male abuse territory, we're pretty certain audiences today won’t be very sympathetic to Frasier’s anger toward Diane. He was dumped by her way back in Season 3, but was still holding a grudge in the Season 11 finale. 

RELATED: Big Bang Theory: 10 Times Amy And Penny Were Friendship Goals

When he saw Diane again, Frasier initially attempted to be cool, but then unknowingly started to hurt Diane by squeezing her shoulders too tight. Of course, Frasier's actions weren't intended to cause physical harm, but it's still something that probably wouldn't (and shouldn't) be included in a modern American sitcom.

4 "...There Is No Other Part."

Sam’s characterization seemed to be about how good-looking he was and how much he liked to be among the ladies, apart from which he didn’t have anything else; Sam realized this as well.

When Woody was disappointed that Sam had let him down, he claimed he had idolized the latter except for his two most well-known traits, leading to Sam quipping there were no other parts to him. Today, people would just condemn Sam for his debauchery, and call him shallow for being so superficial. He definitely was just that, but back then it was passed off as charmingly funny.

3 "Hunting For Snipe."

The gang at the bar liked to play rough, there’s no question about that. And when Frasier tried to integrate among them, they went extra mean. Taking Frasier out in the woods, they had him “hunt snipe," (which doesn't exist), and then left him out there. 

RELATED: Friends: 7 Reasons Ross And Rachel Really Were On A Break (& 3 Reasons They Weren’t)

It was a simple practical joke at the time, but that was what bullies called it back then. Clearly, Frasier wasn’t someone equipped to survive outdoors, and he had to fight his way back to the bar where he found the others laughing at his gullibility. Fortunately, bullying isn’t thought to be as funny as it was back then.

2 "It Is Not In A Man's Nature To Sit Alone And Be Passive And Docile."

Yikes. This one's so bad we can't make a clear argument for including the full quote, which is incredibly misogynistic. Here, Cliff would argue with Diane that women were the ones meant to stay at home and indulge themselves in stuff like culture and nurturing, while men were meant to be hunters. 

RELATED: How I Met Your Mother: 10 Best Songs Featured On The Show

The irony was that Cliff was clearly in the wrong, as Norm seated next to him refused to move an inch because he was lazy. However, anybody viewing the episode for the first time today would be inclined to overlook the punchline and latch onto Cliff’s ignorance of women, which we’ll agree was very striking.

1 "Goodnight Everyone!"

There’s practical jokes and bullying, but a whole new word has to be made for Carla’s cruel treatment of Cliff. There were times where she made sure Cliff was physically in pain, and this one was the worst of the lot.

Here, Cliff mistakenly set an attack dog onto himself by using its attack word; Carla called its owner to ask how to get the dog to calm down. When she was told the word, instead of rescuing Cliff (who was being chewed out by the sounds of his anguishes of pain), she bid everyone goodnight and left the bar so that Cliff would possibly get mauled to death. Nothing about this comes across as funny at all, instead we’re left hoping someone would throw Carla in jail for what she did.

NEXT: Supernatural: 10 Times The Show Broke Our Hearts

source https://screenrant.com/10-jokes-cheers-already-aged-poorly/

[seventhtower]

FRANK REVIEWS A MOVIE: Issue #3 - IT (2017) Part I

                So, here’s the thing: this movie sucks. But in order for me to accurately convey how much it sucks, I’m gong to break this review down into several parts: 1) The movie by itself, 2) The movie compared to the TV mini series, 3) The movie compared to the novel. I think it’s pretty important to address each in its own category and not mesh the three together. That way we can all see why “It” (2017) doesn’t stand up, no matter what the excuse is.                 But before we delve too deep into the sewers of Derry, I want to start off with things I DID enjoy about the movie. They’re few, but they are note worthy:                 - Some subtle things: There were a few things in the movie that were genuinely creepy to me, because they were so subtle. Like the kid show playing on all the TVs. Or my favorite part of the movie when the creepy old lady in the background of the library stops and stares at Ben reading the Derry history book. However, as much as I liked these bits, the movie always had a way to fuck it up and go overboard.                 - Neat visuals: I liked some of the design to a few things quite a bit! How the kids floating around the tower of junk, Pennywise’s blood floating upward when he was hurt, Pennywise’s “deadlights”, even the clown suit started to grown on me even if the makeup didn’t. I applaud some of the concept design, because it was pretty cool sometimes. And the cinematography is included here, because there was a lot of awesome shots. Like Stan fixing the askew painting on the wall, also fixing the camera’s perspective. Neat!                 - Funny: Some of the kids were great in this movie! Ritchie was hilarious, Bill and Stan were acted great, and Ben was adorable. They did splendid!

Alright, that’s about it for the stuff I liked. Moving on.

Chapter One: “IT” (2017)

                DISCLAIMER: I am a VERY big fan of the novel. You will often find me saying it’s basically my bible. A lot of questions I will be asking in this section I already know the answers to. What I aim to show is how an average viewer who is not privy to the novelor has any or no memory of the tv series can have these questions, and can be left wondering. I’m taking myself out of my fan shoes and putting myself in silly ass clown shoes, if you will, and will review this objectively.                 One of my friends streamed the entire opening sequence on her Snapchat before I saw the film myself and I was able to catch a sneak peak. And what I saw was dreadful. I think the entire film can be summed up with that whole pre-title section. Bad pacing, bad editing, not scary. Something like this:                 The story starts off with two boys in a room making a boat. The walls are littered with 80’s movie posters (trying hard not to pretend like I haven’t seen that aesthetic recently). Our lead child actor (?) (I’ll be honest by the end I’m not sure if there is a leader of the bunch), Bill, sits in bed sick, while his younger brother, Georgie, waits to be handed the boat. But first he must get the wax to it wont sink. But the was is in the basement! Reluctantly, he trugs down the dark basement stairs and finds the wax. During this slow climb downward a very loud, obnoxious, blare of his walkie-talkie cuts in: his brother reminding him to hurry up. Was that noise supposed to scare me? It didn’t even make anyone in the audience jump. Hmm. He eventually finds the wax and is stopped by a pair of shinny eyes staring at him from the darkness. He shines a flashlight on them and they turn out to be. . . I’m not sure exactly, but they were not belonging to monster. Que loud “scary noise” and a bit of thunder, and Georgie bolts backup the stairs to have some small chat with his brother before he’s off down the street chasing the boat in the rain. I’m not sure how this next part happens, because the camera clearly shows us, from his perspective, that there are two barricades directly next to each other. But he dips under one, and on his way up its revealed there’s another one (even thought they already showed us that) and he smacks his head and collapses. This kids kinda dumb. Anyway, he loses his boat in the sewer and this is where things start to get worse. We’re introduced to Pennywise, the villain of the movie here, as he greets Georgie from inside the sewer’s opening. Why is this kid talking to such a scary as clown? Just listen to it. It’s sounds like psychopath. This kid is dumb. The unfriendly clown chats it up with the not so bright child for a bit, then it cuts away to a woman and her cat opening her porch shutters. Why take the focus on Gerogie and the clown? Why was this so important enough to cut to? She doesn’t do anything. Back to the kid, and he’s about to take off, when Pennywise offers him his boat back. Come on. This clown is legit drooling. And is it cock-eyed?! What in the world. . . No way a kid is going to find this appealing enough to talk to. But, as established, this kids dumb, so he reaches for the boat, and the clowns face warps in a horrific toothy monstrosity of CGI effects. I’m not even frightened about all the fangs, I’m more scared about how bad it looks. Then we snap cut to a close up of It biting down on Georgie’s arm ripping it off. Something tells me that’s going to be the pattern here. . . Loud low scary noise, snap cut to close up of a scary thing. We’ll see. After having his arm bitten off and not passing out from shock or blood loss in a few seconds flat, the kid manages to crawl away yelling, before being drug down into the sewer. The old lady seen before notices the large amount of blood pooling in the rain. Did they really need a shot disrupting the flow the kid and clown just to show this old lady ahead of time? They could have cut that other part out and just shown her here and it would have worked fine. Man. The title comes after in a blaring cacophony of children laughing. And that’s that.

                The movie follows this formula pretty tightly. ESPECIALLY when it comes to the scares. Every one of them has a kid in a scary situation then the “loud spooky noise” happens, it cuts away to a close up of a gross face. I thought it was a coincidence the second time I noticed. By the end of the movie I was rolling my eyes. Jump scares lose what little effect they have when they’re predictable. There wasn’t a single thing in this movie that frightened me. There was the creepy bits mentioned in the cool stuff section, but nothing long lasting or made my heart quicken. And it’s not that I can’t be scared at all. Because I can be. But this movie didn’t even get close. The only part that could have potentially made me squirm was when Pennywise jumps out of the projection on the wall. But it is ruined by the weirdly paced slide effect. It kept cutting out to blackness for no reason. It wasn’t like he was slowly getting closer all creep like every time the light went back on. That would have been awesome. But he was already charging at the kids. It felt like a normal scene that had the cut always thrown in as an afterthought.                 And this is my main problem with this movie. It’s lack of subtlety. Once they have something going for it they ruin it by throwing a million other ideas into the scene. Ben reading the book in the library with the old woman in the background would have been great by itself. But they had to add an over the top chase scene. Instead of creating a sense of unsettling fear build up they opt for loud noises, cheap jump scares, and horrible CGI.                 And what’s with Pennywise running at the camera all the time? Almost every single instance of him creating the scare for the scene it’s him running head long at the viewer, usually having a weird epileptic shaking fit! How is that scary? And why does it look so awful? It looks as if were designed to be viewed for 3D but didn’t translate at all to 2D. Everything's blurred and frigidity. Isn’t he supposed to be the scariest part of the movie? Then why is he the least scary? Also, the voice It has is a little annoying to me. Its like a weird Jack Nicholson/ Heath Ledger mix. Its both growly and whiny in the span of a few words. I’ve seen a lot of people applaud his acting, but the most I saw him do of worth was drool. But I’m not going to hand out gold stars for physical acting for drool.                 To destroy the terror, or lack there of, are the Losers Club. The one with the glasses was pretty funny. But sometimes the humor gets a little out of place. Once again, lacking in subtlety. Then kid with the pills, was also the funny one, too? So, there’s two jokers, I guess. But his acting started to get annoying over time. It felt over the top and unnatural. By the way, that kid’s arm was NOT broken when he fell on the table. They show his arm clear as day and it aint broke until the next time they show him. Bill was played well, but his character was written poorly. He must be as dumb as his brother if he thinks he’s still alive to be found. And is his motivation to find his brother, or to kill It? That wasn’t really clear. Bev, I thought was pretty cool. Tough, strong female. Until she’s taken and used as the damsel in distress. Guess she wasn’t that tough. Ben, as a chubby kid at heart myself, was relatable. He was probably my favorite of the bunch. Kind of a nerd, with all the history stuff, secretly in love with a childhood crush. But he probably got it the worst out of all of them. He got it the worst from Henry, the bully, by having his name almost engraved into his stomach, and he also got it the worst from It by having his stomach slashed opened. The later was a bit odd to me, because no one seemed to really care that his stomach was literally ripped open. Not even him. And it wasn’t just a scratch. It was pretty bad. Dude, go to the hospital for that. Then there was the Jewish kid. I like that actor a lot. He had this natural inevitability to his character that was really nice. But he didn’t really do much. Then there’s, what was his name, Mike? Mark? The black kid. He wasn’t even In the movie for a large amount of it. And that’s kinda sad. Because I can see has the potential for some acting chops. And its even worse that all the bonding the kids do in the film, he isn’t a part of. He genuinely had no role other than to provide the gun thing. By the way, I don’t know if he should pay more attention to his Grandfather or something, but I don’t know how he got “I’m an outsider. I should stick to myself.” Form the speech he was given in the beginning. That’s a bit of a stretch.                 The subtlety knows no bounds even in the end, where the kids literally beat their fears into submission. But they still seemed kinda scared of them though, so, I’m not sure if that worked or not. But to be fair, I probably would have beat that clown, too, after doing that lame ass jig of a dance. Was that supposed to be humorous? I have no idea. But it was dumb. And I saw Ashlee Simpson do it better on SNL.                 All in all this movie is a cluster fuck. Things feel out of order or timed weirdly. Like why are we told what a leper is like half an hour AFTER we see a leper? All the scenes have no flow or rhythm to them. They feel like small shorts tied up with a very thing thread. For instance, they help Ben and in the next scene they’re friends. It just feels like stuff was missing to explain everything better. There are so many questions out in the air without any explanation. Here are a few:                 - Why does it keep showing “Silver” on Bill’s bike? Is that important?                 - What is that tubular building they kept showing? The one on the postcard? Is THAT   important?                 - Why does the Mark see multiple set of arms crawling out from behind the door when it was just his mom and dad that died in the fire?                 - Ben mentioned a “Bradly Gang”. What’s that? They never mentioned it.                 - Why is Pennywise a clown in the first place? Is it because Ritchie is scared of clowns? But he was a clown to everyone else, and before we even find that information out.                 - Was it actually a turtle that brushed by their feet in the lake? Was that important?                 - Why does Beverly cut her hair? Something her dad did? Didn’t I see that in the new Power Rangers movie too?                 - Why is Stan scared of the painting? I get that he IS scared of it, but why? They could have set that up better. And didn’t I see a similar painting escapes the painting is in the room thin the new Conjuring movie too?                 - How does Bev come to the conclusion that thembeing all together is why they were able to hurt It? They don’t know that. They never tried hurting it without them all together.                 - Does Ben have parents? And seriously, why doesn’t anyone care about his stomach slashed open?!                 - Why does It attack Mark with mantis hands(?) during the final fight?                 - Why does It turn into a mummy to attack Ben during the final fight?                 - Why does It turn into Bev’s dad when we all know she just practically killed him not too long ago.                 - If It can just capture them all one at a time like he did Bev, why are the rest of them even a threat.                 - Why does It turn into the demigorgon form Stranger Things? What are those weird lights in its mouth? Why does it make Bev into a psychic?                 - Why does this remind me of Stranger Things so much?                 - There are four bullies; why can I only remember two of their names? Who are the other two? Why weren’t they given names?                 - Why were the bullies even relevant? They didn’t do much that couldn’t have been taken out with no effect on the story.                 - Is Henry dead at the end?                 - Why did Henry need to kill his dad?                 - Henry’s dads the cop from the beginning of the movie? Were we supposed to know that?                 - How old are these kids? They look so young, but come out of Derry High School.                 - Why is Henry “looking” for Ben when school lets out?                 - Did they actually hurt It during the final fight? He doesn’t appear to be wounded, just wet.                 - Why does his head disintegrate before he falls?                 - Does the gun thing actually hurt him when Bill shoots him?                 - How did the kids get out of the sewers?                 - Why didn’t they try to get more adult help?                 - Why can’t Bev’s dad see the blood in the restroom?                 - Why do those old people in the car ignore Ben’s cries for help? Was the balloon supposed to mean they were actually Pennywise?                 - Why does It have a lair in a such an obvious spot? Anyone can just find the hole in the ceiling and look down and see all the kids floating.                 - Why did they all cut their hands in the end? Was it like a blood oath?                 - It feels like there's a book that would explain this stuff better. Is there a book?                 As you can see, this movie made me have a lot of questions. And some of this stuff felt like it was forced in with no explanation on purpose, but I’m not sure why. And half of those questions had nothing to do with the main story, so I’m really scratching my head on why they were included.                 In summation, I think this movie had a lot of potential going for it. It could have been pretty neat. But the lack of control to hold back left it bloated with too much junk. The scares weren’t scary, the clown wasn’t clowny, and the kids, while some were good, were somewhat ever the top.                 I give it it 4/10 Tim Currys.

Continued in “Part Two: ‘It’ (2017) vs ‘It’ (1990)

[faygosmayhem]

Story Time #2- Final Fantasy & Me:Part 2

The Reason People Should Be Afraid of Clowns: 

I was gifted the PlayStation Final Fantasy Anthology at the end of the ‘04/’05 school year to celebrate my moving up in the world. On it was ported versions of Final Fantasy V and Final Fantasy VI, which had originally been released in the US for the Super Nintendo as Final Fantasy III.

 I started out playing V a few days later. For some reason, it never grabbed me at all. I got through a good chunk of the game, then hit a troublesome boss and just stopped playing it. I still can’t remember anything about the game no matter how hard I think on it. Probably because it was overshadowed by what came next.

 After rage quitting FFV, I moved on to VI and never looked back. Similar to IX, I was automatically captured by the game’s easy charm and emotional resonance. The characters in that game are so multifaceted and I found each of them to be wonderful in their unique way. 

The one thing VI has that IX, unfortunately, does not is a fantastic villain. Kefka, the demented little fashion-challenged asshole, easily set the standard for things that make up the perfect villain to me. This guy had absolutely no motivation other than just wanting to watch the world burn, and is a key citation of personality traits you never, ever, want to encounter. 

Comical as he was, Kefka scared the ever loving crap out of me, much more than any horror game or movie I’ve experienced since then (with the exception of Silent Hill 2), and I freaking loved it. Of all the memorable aspects of FFVI, that maniacal laugh is always the first thing to come to mind. 

Me In The Spotlight, Losing My Religion

( readers with sensitive views on religion might want to avoid this part)

People always look at me like I’ve grown a second head when I tell them that a video game is the reason I became an Atheist. I agree that sounds a little extreme, but back in ‘05/’06 when I finally caught up to the rest of the world and got my hands on Final Fantasy X, it made perfect sense. 

For the first time, I wasn’t the one in my circle of three close friends to acquire the game first. That honor went to my friend Mikey (that is not her real name), who had just been gifted the game and a Ps2 of her own. The problem was that she didn’t have a memory card and couldn’t afford one (they were anywhere from 25-40$ dollars at the time), and called me up one day desperately begging to borrow mine after having had to play through the intro of the game all the way to leaving Besaid island for the third time because her mom kept shutting off the system.

 Of course I wanted to help her out, but this created a bit of a problem; I couldn’t lend her my memory card indefinitely because it would prevent me from enjoying my own games. The solution was for us to play through the game the first time completely in each others company. By that point we were used to getting through sections of games together, but this was the first (and last) attempt for us to play the entire game under the stipulation that the game could not continue unless both of us were there. So, naturally, I practically moved into her house for the summer. 

Things started out fun enough. We ruthlessly made fun of the game for hours on end. We shared laughs and frustrations with the game’s mechanics, had fun recording amusing cut-scenes and lines of dialog (we made a YouTube poop VHS before YouTube was even a thing), and were just generally loving life at that point. 

Then we get to fucking operation Mi’ihen. 

That section of the game floored us both. We had just finished learning about Constantine and Crusades the year previous in school and had commented earlier about noticing the reference, though I never thought the game would ever try to give such a direct example. 

For those in need of a quick refresher, Operation Mi’ihen was the part of the game where the Crusaders and Al’Bhed team up and try to use a new type of machina to defeat Sin. The operation fails, most of the people who take part are slaughtered by Sinspawn, and the Crusaders who survive are excommunicated by the church for going against the teachings, even though two of Yevon’s most prominent figures were on site to ‘Bless the Operation’. Operation Mi’ihen was the point in the game where the religious allegory really got heavy, and just kept getting worse from there. 

After that section was over we both needed a break. I finally went home for the first time in about two weeks, and spent the next few days recharging my batteries until I was comfortable picking the game up again. We went back to joking about the game pretty easily, though the tone didn’t exactly improve from there. The next time the game broke me was during the revelation of Yevon and the Final Summoning. 

The knowledge that the entire journey up to that point had been a lie, a pointless quest of willing Martyrs that were being deceived themselves hit me the hardest. During that part of the game I adapted traits of characters I hated the most. I was dumbfounded, whiny, frustrated, and unwilling to believe what was going on even though the evidence was being clearly presented. I was Tidus and Wakka combined, and at that point I hated myself for it. I came to really loathe Yevon and its real world basis. 

When the game finally ended, I spent a few weeks in quiet contemplation. My friend wasn’t religious, and never had been, and couldn’t understand the extreme negative reaction. I was young, and at the time unable to formulate and articulate enough explanation while my feelings were still so turbulent. I distanced myself from her for a time while I tried to work it out. 

All these years later I can finally put words to the metaphor I saw when I witnessed the end of the game. To save her world from Sin, Yuna sacrifices her fayth (the Aeons) and kills the dream (the Zanarkand utopia). The lie of Yevon is disbanded and the world enters an Eternal Calm. 

I couldn’t explain it at the time, but I felt it. After coming to terms with everything, I renounced my faith in the church. Playing Final Fantasy X wasn’t the only catalyst, there were plenty of real world instances and influences that had me questioning even before the game, but FFX was definitely the boiling point. 

X is the only FF game I’ve never been able to play all the way through more than once. I went back again after my friend let me borrow the game for myself in order to get through all the sidequests, but never progressed past getting inside of Sin. When the re-masters came out, I tried again and couldn’t make it past the Mi’ihen Highroad. 

Final Fantasy X was a very good game, but it is still probably my least favorite of the ones I’ve played. 

Horrible Feeling Redux- This Time With Fun Costumes!

I honestly don’t know why I bothered with Final Fantasy X-2 this time around. I guess there was a part of me that wanted to see if the fake world was dealing with the loss of Fayth better than I was. My first playthrough of the game took me about six hours, and I was left so angry I almost broke a controller. 

Once again, it took a chance encounter and consult of a guide for me to realize I played the game wrong, and that by only following the game’s main story points I had missed about 9/10ths of the content and that was the reason the game felt incomplete and pointless. With frequent trips to the EB Games across the street to re-check the guide I eventually was able to 100% the game and get the actual ending. 

I honestly don’t remember much of the plot, too much got drowned out in the endless repetitive mini-games and AP farming. I do remember liking the new characters, and that overall I was pleased with the re-visit to the world and how well the game handled the familiar while still being new enough to not feel like the same thing over again. I also must have watched that fmv of ‘1000 Words’ about a hundred times in that sphere dome (I had a file saved at the location so I could just watch it whenever). The take on the classic job system was interesting, but at the time I was a huge tomboy, and felt pretty offended that the game seemed to be trying to appeal to a female market by making the entire plot revolve around clothes. 

All in all, X-2 gave me peace with X. As much as I complain about it, I did end up liking it, though it was a game I could have done without. 

Ok readers, I know I promised XII with this part, but re-living the feelings of X took more out of me than I was expecting, so now it shall be lumped in with XIII, XIII-2 and XV. I do hope it’s as much of an experience reading it as it is writing. I’d like to hear some memories other people have with the series, if you have the time to share. 

Also, the header for X is a line from the song ‘Losing My Religion’ by REM. 

[lalesath-blog]

In the post Vnc vs Pandora Hearts, you said the all the PH characters felt "whole" I'm planning on making a novel of some sort and want to know what you mean by "whole" can you give me like a long-ass paragraph of what is whole and what is not? Or what is it that made you feel the characters were "whole"? Thank you!😘

Oh dear lord, anon. Okay. Before we start, let me just tack on a disclaimer saying that… where as I believe most of what I’m about to say is generally accepted/“fact” some things may undoubtedly be or sound more subjective. So just keep in mind that this is my own perspective on the matter. Also: PANDORA HEARTS SPOILERS (since I assume you’ve read it?)

This is kind of a … tricky thing to answer. Saying “they should feel like a real person” is unhelpfully vague. Not to mention, plenty of real people are decidedly shallow;;

Achieving realistic characters starts with knowing them as the writer. Really knowing them. Knowing where they grew up. What their first pet was. What they eat as comfort food. What their “mindless” habits are. How many nicknames they’ve had. How many nicknames still remain. The feeling they get when they think of the nickname they haven’t heard spoken for 6 years because the only person who ever used it walked out of their life…. Obviously I just mean to say that you should KNOW your characters. Even seemingly trivial details. I’m not saying you have to know what color nail polish your character wears on Wednesdays, but getting a grasp on little things can shed a little light on personality quirks/habits that will make your character more nuanced.

Lots of little details tend to form tangible, meaningful results. Combine that with some original plot details and voilà~ Example: Knowing Sharon is very much into romance content gives some insight into how easily flustered and excitable she gets even regarding her interactions with Break. How she reacts to Alice’s curiosity and her kiss with Oz. She’s a romantic. In more than one sense. Which means she’s also going to be insecure about her body not developing… which ties into a plot detail about legal contracts.

—-Another really obvious thing… is that they need to grow. Develop. And despite popular belief, this development doesn’t have to be positive. There simply has to be a discernible process of getting from point A to point B. Sometimes this is more subtle (especially with secondary characters). And sometimes this is abrupt… but there always has to be meaning to it.

Example: Something I really, really loved… not to break anyone’s heart again… was Elliot’s flip. He was adamantly against self-sacrifice in the beginning of the manga. He tore into Oz, trying to communicate that that way of thinking was harmful/disrespectful to the people he cared about. And how that kind of thinking was inherently selfish/self-righteous and would only hurt the people he claimed to love… And Oz trying to claim that it would be FOR them.

Cut to Elliot choosing to sacrifice his own life to “end the nightmare” (so to speak)… and even to save Oz the burden of having to kill him.“I’m sorry, Leo.”

(I’m not crying… You’re crying).

—-In general though, I think being able to make your reader feel sympathy or EMPATHY for your characters is extremely important. ESPECIALLY when it comes to antagonists, imo. There’s nothing worse than a flat villain. If you don’t care about the source causing your protagonist to struggle, you can’t really take the story seriously, you know? And I cared about every damn character in PH. No matter which side they were leaning towards at any given time.

And characters should engage the reader. Cause them to think. Always. If you have someone questioning their own morality, you’ve hit god tier (Psycho Pass and Code Geass hit me hard with this). Make your characters convince me. All of them. Of everything. If I can’t be convinced they’re right, I at least need to understand. Which usually means delving into multiple layers of emotions. Example:–What does Vincent Want?Vince Wants to Erase His Existence For GilBecause He Wants Gil To Be HappyBecause Gil Never Abandoned Him–Why would he think Gil should abandon him?Because he was a child of misfortune born to parents who abandoned him/them and he felt he was nothing but a burden on his brother.–Why is he willing to go as far as killing himself?Because, due to the above, he never had a sense of self-worth in the first place… and the further trauma/guilt he sustained after the tragedy of sablier made it all the worse.

~~~Multiple Layers & Repeating Patterns~~~ Makes him feel super real, doesn’t it?And sure, Vincent comes across as an asshole a lot of the time… especially early on. But did I cry over his feelings for Gil and when he hugged Ada? You bet I did. Not to mention, I had Echo’s perspective of him as well. Which is another important detail. Characters adding more dimensions to each other through their various povs. 

Aaand now to the super obvious. Characters should have both negative/positive bits. Protagonists generally lean WAY TOO FAR onto the positive side (for me)… minus their one (1) hang-up. Which is usually a simple, easily explainable complex. Like the overly generic [UNDERDOG] issue…. ANYWAY.

People have flaws. People have insecurities. People have bad habits and different ways of reacting to conflict. Different reasons for acting the way they do. Make sure you know them. Example:Leo, for instance, comes across as being subdued. But he’s more volatile than Elliot. Why does he present as subdued? Because in their context, Elliot’s fire tends to put his out. How does Leo confront conflict? By literally letting someone else take control from him while he tries to ignore it. He’s been an escapist his entire life. Hair in his eyes. Glasses that block his vision. Books to distract himself with. Etc. It’s a reoccurring theme with Leo even in his day-to-day demeanor… which means it was important to know from the get-go.

And to cont. from a bit above… everyone also has bits of light. Even a sociopath. Maybe you create a sociopathic serial killer who, every Thursday, leaves a homeless boy a bag of take-out in the alley behind the restaurant the killer and his ex used to visit… before he killed them. The boy had seen him do it, yet hadn’t screamed or alerted anyone. And now your killer practices this sentimental ritual that he doesn’t understand. Maybe, by the end, he forms his own understanding.I think making the reader feel curious never hurts. Make them form questions they want answers to. Even little ones. If I never wonder about ANYTHING, there’s probably not enough detail. I’m not even saying there have to be definitive answers just… I want to notice things. Like why is break always eating candy? Does he actually like sweet things? He didn’t SEEM the type in the past? Is it just to compensate for his former personality? Is it because of Shelly? Is it a shout-out to Emily? Like with the doll? Did he used to smoke? Also he doesn’t drink??? Why? 

Really good characters? It’s like looking at them through a prism. By the end, you’ve seem them in a dozen shades of light. Example:

—-Xerxes Break:The MentorThe Loyal ServantThe Protector/The KnightThe Serial KillerThe VictimThe Wild CardThe Suicide RiskThe Comic Relief The BAMFThe Needy ChildThe Cold, Near-RecluseThe Brother FigureThe Partner  The Unhinged ClownThe [Tragic] HeroEtc.

He’s played dozens of roles on his own and through his relationships with other characters. Some of which are exceedingly different.

When you really get down to it, I think I personally also love the characters in PH so much because I can find something to relate to in all of them.Whether it be Lacie’s otherworldy dissociation, Leo’s escapist tendencies, Sharon’s drunken queen play, Oswald’s bluntness, or Vincent’s self-worth issues… I just. They feel like so much more? From their quirks & hobbies (Ada’s what… VOODOO room? hahaha/the trio of book nerds/Break and his doll… and his candy/Alice and being a massive carnivore/Gil smoking to emulate Oscar… and being afraid of cats/Elliot secretly ADORING cats but not wanting to admit it;;). To their contradictions. Their incorrect views on themselves. And on each other. The various self-realizations. The great dialogue. Just… asdfghjkl

ARGH. It’s SO hard to explain. Just. Characters are more than their goals and their easily definable trope traits. They’re more than their role in the story they’re in and that should come across.

[curiousimaginings]

Utter Idiot (Leto Joker x Reader)

AN; Oh my lord. This one is SUPER LONG and i’m sorry and it started off with me trying to write something hot but I just had so much fun with this. I am such Leto Joker trash and I don’t even care. I hope you guys like this!

Warnings; Swearing, blood, biting?, guns, mention of murder, mention of drugs, mention of abuse, mentions of torture. I think that’s everything..?

Summary; Reader gets bored waiting for Mr J to get out of Arkham so decides to visit him.

WORD COUNT; 4221     I know please forgive me

The sounds of angry threats and maniacal laughter echoed around the dark and gloomy building. Shifting nervously in the damp corridor, your eyes constantly flitting and focusing on something new in an attempt to familiarise yourself with the place. One of the guards escorting you sent a glare your way, one meant to fill you with unease, but you disregard it quickly. Coming to a sudden halt outside of a heavy metal looking door you are herded in to quite possibly the filthiest room you had ever seen. They’ve gone all out I see. You thought bitterly. Not allowing them the satisfaction of your distaste you turned to the main guard, Officer Michaels. It was only then you noticed you were alone in the room. Confusedly you started towards the man about to question him when he leered; ‘Get comfortable sweetheart’ and with a wink the door was slammed shut in your face. So this is it huh? You thought to yourself as you perched on the disgusting table in the middle of the room. You had been in some questionable places but this just might take the cake. Arkham Asylum, home to the worst of the worst, and now here I am. Harmless little me. You smirked to yourself. You tried to recall when your life got so complicated and quickly became lost in thought. Your whole life had been a bit of a shit storm, so a trip to Arkham wasn’t that out of the blue. Although completely avoidable in this instance you seethed inwardly. Getting more comfortable on the table you impatiently made a list of the people who would inevitably pay for your little trip here today. ‘God help them’ you smirked to yourself, still staring off in to space. You were broken out of your thoughts by the sound of footsteps approaching the hole Michaels had left you in. Readying yourself, you stood throwing back your shoulders and donning a look of indifference and boredom. Battle ready, you looked towards the door as it swung open. Michaels stepping in first; ‘You have half an hour, no more, as required by law this room has no cameras or listening devices. If you need us..’ he trailed off eyeing your body ‘..scream’ he smirked. Rolling your eyes at his idiocy, you added him to the list you had made earlier. Laughter brought your attention to the centre of the mass of guards. A laugh that sent shivers down your spine and brought a sudden heat between your legs. You devoured the green haired maniac in front of you forgetting where you were for a second. He hadn’t yet noticed you too preoccupied taunting the perverted guard. ‘Sexually harassing a lawyer now Officer? You surely should know better?! Besides I never took you for a lover of dick, explains why you just can’t stay away!’ his signature cackle you loved so much met your ears and you had to physically stop yourself from releasing a giggle of your own, grinding your teeth together in your efforts. He’s expecting Frost, Shit. He’s going to be so pissed. You didn’t want to interrupt him, you knew better than to interrupt one of his pissing contests, but you couldn’t allow the guard to have the upper hand. ‘Don’t get me wrong I’m flattered! It just explains your penchant for cavity searches’ J’s cackle brought out laughter from one of the younger guards, Michaels hand shot out clipping the kid around the head. Clearing your throat and adjusting your glasses, you smiled towards the pale clown who was still cackling madly. ‘I can take it from here boys’ you stated as confidently as you could, tilting your head daring them to eat in to any more of your time. The laughter ended abruptly. Ever so slowly the Jokers eyes turned to meet yours. To the guards leaving you alone with the ‘Clown Prince of Crime’ himself, they probably thought he was sizing you up like a predator does its prey, assessing your armour of tight skirt, revealing blouse. But you knew better. His icy blues where furious. You silently prayed he’d be more pissed at the guard for his comments now that he realised they were about you, than at your presence but kept your face as stoic as possible. You took the silence as an opportunity to take him in. He was a hot mess, his hair unkempt and falling around his face. Straightjacket on, limiting how intimidating he could be towards you, although you would never voice that. And blue ‘Arkham’ bottoms hanging low on his hips. Always low on the hips you groaned hungrily to yourself. You felt the desire for him starting to bloom, and saw a slight smirk grace his lips as he caught your obvious ogling. You didn’t care much, he knew he would only have to raise a non-existent eyebrow and you would be stripped bare, ready and waiting to do his bidding. That’s just how you both liked it, and even if he wouldn’t admit it you had nearly the same amount of power over the Kingpin himself.

Before he could speak you smiled innocently; ‘Hello Mister J, I will be your stand in lawyer today as Mr Frost was unavailable’ you pout playfully, sitting back down on the end of the table. Giving him a great view of your skirt riding up your thighs, your bare legs catching his attention as you crossed them purposefully. The look in his eye was hungry as he slowly stalked towards you. ‘Unavailable?’ he questioned finally dragging his eyes from your inviting bare flesh. ‘Well, you see Mr J, he didn’t have much of a fucking choice in the matter’ you smile innocently at him. Quickly dropping the act you glare at him; ‘Really J? You are such a fucking idiot’ J looked up from your legs quickly and you became aware of how close the two of you had become. He eyed your mouth angrily before laughing. 'And you kiss me with that mouth' licking his lips he leant in slowly.

'I do a lot of things with my mouth' you breathed out huskily, standing up abruptly you walked away from him and sat on the shitty plastic chair getting comfortable and playing with a strand of your usually H/C hair which you had to dye in order to go unnoticed. The lack of effort needed for you to go unnoticed by the people of Gotham would forever astonish you. Dye your hair a shade or two lighter or darker, whatever tickled your fancy, and dress like a normie, keeping your tatts covered and you were golden. Fucking idiots, the lot of em. If you were feeling daring you could even pull out your old glasses, no longer needed thanks to the chemical bath you had taken, but nostalgia was always fun.

He growled but sat across from you at the table pouting like an infant. 'If you ever call me an idiot again Princess..' You cut him off rolling your eyes 'Don't make promises we both know you can't keep. You shouldn’t have gotten caught. If you didn’t act like an idiot I wouldn’t need to call you one.' you smirked over at him seeing how riled up he was getting at your attitude.

You'd missed this. The little games. The hot sex when those games came to a head. Literally. But mostly just him in general, nothing matched your crazy quite like he did and his absence had caused quite the void in your life.

'So if this isn't a conjugal visit..' He trailed off hoping he was wrong. You just raised an eyebrow daring him to continue. You were not a woman to be messed with. He sighed like a child denied candy making you giggle. 'I do love that sound Dollface.' He said almost affectionately, like a person does to a pet. However the moment was short lived as his true anger started to slip through his pale faced mask, his blood red smirk taking on a sinister edge.

'What are you doing here Y/N?' Oh shit your actual name that was a bad omen, but you had expected it. 'You had direct orders not to come near this place. If they realise who you are...As much fun as the rough stuff is in the bedroom Doll-‘ he licked his lips eyeing your body ‘-you won't enjoy this place and I don't need nor want anyone touching what's mine' he growled.

You unconsciously stood to go sit in his lap. A mannerism you had picked up quickly in your relationship. He leant in to you as your hands found his hair smoothing it out causing him to purr at the action. 'I had to come and remind you to get your ass in gear and get outta this shit hole. I'm bored and no one will play with me.' You whispered seductively in to his ear, biting his lobe gently to emphasise your point. This made him smile, hearing how lost you were without him played in to his need for control over all things, and hearing that his men wear keeping their distance from his doll, his toy, filled him with joy. ‘Awwwww, is my little Princess missing Daddy huh?’ he teased half-heartedly enjoying your hands in his hair, he hadn’t seen you in at least 11 weeks. Having you so close was intoxicating, his need for you increasing. You were like a drug he had quit but had been offered up to him on a silver platter, the addict in him finding it hard to say no. Stilling your movements, causing him to glare at your pouting face you spat childishly; ‘Honestly Mr J I’m starting to think you like Batsy more than me’ you crossed your arms defiantly, causing him to laugh. Leaning his head forward he started kissing from your sweet spot just below your ear downwards making you arch in to his touch, letting out a soft moan. ‘I may like ruining Batsy’s day one explosion at a time-‘ he carries on his assault towards your cleavage ‘-but his moans of pain don’t compare to my girls moans of pleasure’ his husky confession mixed with his hot mouth on your body was driving you crazy. You were putty in his hands, and he was all too aware. ‘Has my kitten been good while I’ve been away?’ he questioned as he dragged his metal capped teeth across your sensitive skin. Your mind flashed to your many outbursts and what had Frost called them? “unhospitable” play dates. You looked down at him innocently ‘Of course Daddy’. His eyes not straying from his task he bit down hard on the flesh at the top of your breast, barely contained by your deep green silk shirt. You yelped slightly your body jumping too. Releasing you he rested his forehead against yours; ‘Liar’ he whispered, ghosting his lips over yours. Pecking your lips lightly he ghosted his lips across your jawline and up to your ear, licking his lips he asked; ‘How many Dollface?’ You instantly blush at his question not knowing if you should answer or not, his face was hidden from you angled towards your neck as he waited for your reply. You had stayed quiet a little too long for his liking he sucked on your neck aggressively marking you. ‘Th-three’ you stutter out quietly. Stilling he meets your eyes slowly his face angry, shit, okay fine! ‘And four more, okay?! So, seven!’ His face was still unreadable, and he had gone awfully quiet, you just looked at your nails finding them particularly interesting right about now. ‘My Princessssssssss, my pretty, pretty, pretty Princess! Dollface, Sweetcheeks, Kitten.. killed seven of my men?’ his forehead was once again resting against yours, forcing you to make eye contact. ‘Hey it’s not my fault they couldn’t withstand standard torture techniques….if you ask me you’re better off without em!’ you smile sweetly at him. At that he laughs loudly before crashing his lips to yours with such force that it takes you a minute to return the favour. Your hands quickly found his hair and tug at it hard making him groan in to your mouth. Noise outside of the room reminds you of your limited time. 'Shit.. okay listen to me J' He was completely amused by your attempt at bossing him around but you didn't have time for games. ‘I have a little present for you’ you smile at him seductively, you stood up off his lap lifting yourself on to the edge of the table behind you, hitching up your skirt just enough to lift your right heeled foot to rest on his chair, between his legs. His breathing picked up, pupils blown at the sight of you in front of him. For the first time since he had gotten there he was super pissed at Batsy for dumping him in the asylum, his straightjacket restricting him from touching what was his, and he jerked angrily a couple times. Your eyes lighting up at the rise you were pulling from the criminal, you continued lifting your skirt until a black lace garter became visible mid-thigh. This caught the clowns attention, a growl escaping him as you pulled something from beneath it covering yourself once more coming forward to straddle his lap. Leaning over him you reached your hand down between his clothed chest and covered arm, you flick something out to your side but he doesn’t take his eyes from your face, completely caught up in his own lust fuelled haze he barely registers the sound of fabric being torn. It’s not until you snap something shut with a quiet metallic ringing noise that his attention zeroes back in on your actions. He watches as you slide in his favourite jester embossed straight razor in to the small incision you made, hidden due to the angle of the cut. Your eyes full of concentration as they urge him to grasp the cool metal. 'When the time comes everything will make sense but for now I need you to trust me’ you stated as you leant back away from him to be sure that the blade wouldn’t be detectable underneath the fabric. He murmured an acknowledgement eyeing your mouth not really paying attention. You stood up off of him pulling him with you 'J listen to me' you urged 'I need you to hurt me' you said seriously. 'What?! No! Why would you ask me that?!'  He was furiously putting the pieces together quickly realising why you were here. Swearing Frost would pay for allowing you to be a part of this. He started to back off looking at you like you were crazy. Which, let’s be honest is true. You understood his hesitation, no matter how frustrating. The both of you had had a few run-ins in the past when a fight had gone too far, and although he would never admit it he’d felt some things afterwards, guilt maybe? Realising you had a matter of minutes left you played the only card that could possibly work in this instance. Grabbing his jaw forcefully you pushed him against the wall with all your strength and whispered spitefully in his ear. 'I've been real lonely since you left Daddy. I wonder if that Officer who was ogling me before would fuck me as good as you can?' you smile cruelly ‘I mean shit, at this point I’d do Frost!’ His jaw started to tense under your touch and you could feel his rage building. You pulled back, 'Maybe the good Officer can do me while they take you back to your cell' you had barely finished when his head came forward and busted your nose. Manic laughter left you as blood started to flow down your face and ruin your shirt. 'You. Are. Mine' he raged in your face. Ghosting your bloodied lips over his you whispered 'Always Mr J' He was still shaking with anger and was stalking towards you. You backed off smirking pushing the table and "falling" to the floor. 'GUARDS! Please help me, someone please! Oh God..' You started screaming and turned on the water works. The sudden change in your behaviour snapped J out of it and he started to go along with the charade cackling like a mad man. 'I'm afraid Miss that I may be in need of a new lawyer!' again cackling as if he had never said anything funnier. At this point the guards had come crashing in and where dragging J away in seconds his laughter haunting the hallways as he was dragged off to solitary confinement as planned. Some “officer” was helping you up off the floor. ‘Ma’am’ he murmured. You were full on sobbing at this point. Very convincing if you say so yourself but, you sent the goon a wink of acknowledgement. Whatever Mr J thought about you being there be damned, you had been bored of Frost telling you to wait until Boss gave the word, so you’d set this little stunt up yourself. Poor Frosty is going to need a raise after this.. if I can get him back home alive that is. J’s men had infiltrated the compound and you were just waiting for Frost to get his ass in gear and get this show on the road. The henchman who helped you up, Liam, your personal guard, was directing you in to the hall way and out of the vile room when Michaels decided to show up. His eyes raked your body but now in concern instead of want, eyes straying to your injury which was merely a nagging pain at this point but you needed this man to think you were weak and helpless ‘Miss I-‘ he was cut off by the sound of an explosion and the asylum alarm blaring. Your sobs grew louder as Michaels reassured you that you would be safe, not questioning the unfamiliar guard accompanying you. He led you both to a secure office, immediately going to a computer looking to see where the threat originated, directing, guards through his radio. Little did he know you were the threat. You took Liam’s hand gun silently exchanging looks with him as your sobs ceased instantaneously. Michaels turned at the lack of noise in the room only to be met with the barrel of a gun. ‘Officer Michaels.. I wish I could say it’s been a pleasure, but it truly hasn’t. I wanna take my time with you, your derogatory comments just haven’t sat well with me officer’ You pout at him playfully ridding yourself of your heavy framed glasses. ‘Please, I don’t know who you are but-‘ he tried to reason with you eyeing Liam as if he was crazy for letting some loon pull a gun on a fellow officer. The sound of your cackle makes him pale. He knows that laugh. Most of Gotham does. He was stood in front of the Queen. ‘Oh him?’ you questioned gesturing with your free hand to Liam. ‘He’s with me. Now! I do believe that we had a safeword did we not?! What was it you said? If I needed help I should.. scream?’ you asked tilting your head shooting him in the abdomen. He screamed out in pain cussing you out but you just stepped over him to play with the fancy computer he had been using, unlocking all the cells. That should slow them down. Looking back down at Michaels you pout, ‘See, Mr J doesn’t like me in danger so I have to miss out on all the fun. Well at least I have you eh, Michaels?!’ Liam cringes in the corner at your giggle and silently prays that the Joker will find you both soon, worried that if Michaels bleeds out while you’re having your fun that he’ll be next. - You can hear J approaching the office in search of you, berating Frost for allowing you in to the asylum in the first place. I wonder if Frosty still has all his limbs? ‘Ohhhh, Dollface! Daddy’s ready for ya!’ he calls out and you jump up from the now dead Officer Michaels, blood stained and giddy. Liam is first out the room checking for threats but you push past him right in to J’s arms. You crush your lips to his each of you forgetting the chaos surrounding you, bullets still flying serenading you both. His hands digging in to you, one hand at your throat the other at the small of your back. He pulls away slightly his hand at your throat tightening just so, making you moan in pleasure. ‘You will pay for disobeying me Doll’ he spits angrily his crazed eyes dancing all over you unsure of what he wants to do more, you or get out of there. ‘Promise?’ you manage to gasp out. His lips smash against yours again except this time you feel him smirk in to it. ‘Oooooh Batsy’ he groans in to your mouth. Enraged you pull away shooting at his feet with the gun you stole from Liam earlier ‘TOO SOON J’ you shout storming off out through the blown out asylum walls with his men. ‘Awwwwwww! Come on Princess! Daddy was just kidding!’ He cackles after you. - Later that day you’re all back at the apartment, the excitement dimmed, and all cleaned up from the outing to retrieve Mr J. It’s as if the boss man hasn’t been gone for almost three months, no one acknowledging his little trip away at all. Speaking of J, he’d been in his office now for a good few hours, hiding out from you. You were still pissed at the Batsy stunt he pulled earlier, knowing that you felt oddly competitive with the Bat for attention. All cleaned up from the trip you strolled out of the master bedroom headed to find something or someone to entertain yourself with. Your eyes landed on Frost as you enter the living room. It would seem J had found time to make Frost his personal punching bag, he was bruised with a nose to match yours and he seemed to be standing more on his left than his right. You don’t know if he looked like this when you left the asylum, you had been too busy sulking. You smiled over at him apologetically but he just shook his head back at you waving you off. Feeling bad you went to find solace in the kitchen. You sat on the counter with your favourite candy daydreaming, your eyes glancing out the large windows, showing you the Gotham city lights. J’s footsteps coming towards you knocked you out of your trance like state. He had wandered in to come find you, thankfully no longer in those ‘Arkham’ pants, even if they did leave little to the imagination. He was freshly showered, dressed in a maroon silk shirt showing off his chest and extensive tattoo collection, pants and dress shoes. Seeing him in front of you again added to fodder to the fire that had been lit since the asylum, a fire you were yet to put out, and you physically swallowed. It had been almost three months since you had been together and boy were you feeling the strain. ‘There you are Doll! Come with me Daddy’s got something for ya!’ He smiled at you holding out his hand. You eyed it cautiously. You knew for a fact he was still pissed at you and you weren’t sure if this was some sort of trick. You thought it over as quickly as you could, his sigh of annoyance making you panic and grab his hand hopping off the counter. He led you back towards the master bedroom. Frost sending you pitying looks making you gulp. Once inside J let go of your hand walking backwards towards the bed, stopping not far from it. ‘Now Princess I know my little joke earlier upset you so I got you a present!’ he rushed out excitedly. You winced, both at the reminder of him moaning the Bat’s name whilst with you and at the idea of him getting you a gift. He often lavished you in gifts but in a mood like this, they weren’t always guaranteed to be nice. He ushered you towards a nice big purple box on the edge of the bed. ‘Go on! Open It!’ he giggled. Lord have mercy on my soul you silently prayed. Lifting the lid you froze at its contents. Laughter erupted from beside you, and you watched as J fell to the floor, tears streaming down his face as he rolled about. ‘Are you fucking kidding me J?!’ you seethed. Inside was a Batman costume with fake eyelashes and eyeshadow applied to the mask. You through the lid at J hitting him square in the chest, and made to storm out. Suddenly you were yanked down on top of him; ‘I love it when you talk dirty baby!’ he laughed. ‘Shut up and kiss me you fucking idiot.’ You grumbled. He didn’t need telling twice. Quickly his lips locked with yours and it wasn’t long till your real “punishment” was handed to you.

If you finished this, you trooper i’m sorry for this time you will not get back. Until next time!

[terryblount]

Hitman 2 Review: It’s a Hit, Man…2

It was many years ago that I first played as Agent 47, and I found the game series interesting but a bit too slow in how you must have the patience to wait for the right moment to kill your designated victim. I know, I know; these are stealth games so they have to be slow-paced. Given the pacing and my lack of skill in this genre, I’d just dabble in prior Hitman games back when game magazines would come with demo discs and such.

The only truly positive experience I had with Hitman until now was Hitman movie at the cinema. Even if the movie didn’t receive good marks I enjoyed it and I found it engaging, but we’re not here to discuss about the quality of movies-based-on-games.

Sixteen years after the first Hitman 2, it’s time to see if I can have a positive experience and stealth-succeed at this new Hitman 2.

They see me rollin’, they hatin’…

My Impressive First Mission

From the start, Hitman 2’s presentation is very grand. There’s a great opening cinematic, fantastic cinematography, seamless transitions between introductions and actual gameplay, excellent voice acting, and much more.

All this creates such a powerful draw, getting me fully engaged into the action, ready to direct Agent 47 towards his target. However, I actually find myself preferring to stay close and admire the panorama: a marvelous grey sky reigns over a beautiful beach, with the wind breezing by Agent 47’s bald head.

There’s so much wonderful attention to detail. Far away, in the distance, an exquisite modern villa can be seen. That’s the place I have to go to find someone to kill. The beginning tutorial is well-implemented, being unobtrusive, and clearly explains how to do what is needed with unnecessary information.

In addition, the minimal user interface lets me focus on the world itself to find my purpose, objective, and relevant distances and markers. This clean display is great for honing in on the real purpose of the game: the hunt.

The opening cinematic is just stunning!

Thanks to the excellent tutorial, I know how to gently switch off any camera around the villa, how to overcharge control panels, or how to break into blocked places. So I stealthily proceed into the villa.

To get in, the garage door seems useful: overcharging the switch, it opens without any issue. But in front of me, two corpses are on chairs meaning the owner doesn’t want guests. But apart from the silent duo, nobody seems to be at home.

Inside, somewhere the key information must be kept about my target and perhaps the mysterious Shadow Client, which claims to know everything about my/Agent 47’s past. It’s time to explore and investigate!

First up is my target, Alma Reynard, a dangerous environmental terrorist with some shadowy connections I need to know about. Searching her PC turns up some files, and then she arrives back home with some friends. This isn’t good!

I’m blending in! You can’t see me! Well, you can’t see who I really am, anyway!

I must remain silent because I need to work (aka kill her) without being noticed. Perhaps I should wait until she showers à-là-Psycho? Or perhaps another less disturbing method?

From this tricky multiple choices situation, it’s already clear that choosing the method of murder is a difficult and huge part of the strategy of Hitman 2.

Remember how I said I’m not one for slow-paced stuff? My chosen method is to shoot her as soon as she enters the house. BANG, shot in the forehead (headshot!) from a distance! Then I run away as fast as possible to some bushes by the beach. I proceed to disguise myself as a guard and take the boat to safety.

So there is the first mission. It seems easy in retrospect. What you didn’t see was the frequent saving in combination with helpful autosaves, which allowed me to finally, after many attempts, complete the mission.

Creative Studying, Planning, Executing

In thinking about my first mission, sure, I didn’t use as much stealth as possible, but that’s the strength of Hitman 2: it gives the player creative freedom. There’s so many variables to study and options to plan. And then there’s the actual playing out of the plan, which usually goes off track and requires improvisation.

More experienced players will find many of these missions quite simple probably, but the game does continue to offer new challenges to test your skill as much as you desire.

For instance, the second mission, in Miami, has two targets, a mess of people, many NPCs, numerous costumes for disguise, lots of eyes on you, and tons of guards. This chaotic scenario creates a great contrast to the first mission and gives a nice rhythm to the game.

I’m a waiter… because I wait?

Each mission continues to deliver a nicely recreated location around the world: from New Zealand to Miami, Columbia to India, and Austria and beyond! Each area is a “sandbox” to play with and structure the best strategy to kill the targets.

There’s such diversity of playstyles here. Each mission can be completed in dozens of different ways and can also be replayed to find the best mix of solutions. The more creative the player is, the more points the player will gain.

You can learn much about the world if you desire through not only the initial mission briefing but also listening to hundreds of NPCs chatting about everything, useful or not. Taking time to really study and listen is another great way to enjoy the game.

A Full Game Package

Drawing fully from the first Hitman reboot, there are episodes but they’re released as a whole game this time. No longer being forced to wait for the next content release makes the game feel more complete, which makes spending money on it feel more reasonable.

Here’s me doing my bench press…because it’s a bench…and the press. Get it?

Hitman 2 also includes two new game modes: Sniper Assassin and Ghost Mode. The first one gives you and one other player the chance to play together for a common objective, working as a team.

The second mode is a challenging mode where you have to be quicker and better than your rival in killing your targets. What makes this second mode interesting is that you and your opponent are located in two different identical copies of the same game world.

A sunny, breezy day. Ready for some creative killing.

And if you’re like me and haven’t played the first Hitman reboot, buying the Legacy DLC lets you play the “old” maps from the previous game in Hitman 2. This is a nice way to enjoy the first game’s missions in the second game.

Issues and Concerns

The only great flaw is the menu: aesthetically speaking it is great, but from a user point of view it’s a little bit of a mess. Some options are hard to find and can slow down the process of getting into the action.

A few other issues are noted in the Cons list below. There’s some time limited content, which is unfortunate if you want to play on your own schedule. Some missions can get a bit long.

Just out boating…definitely not here to hunt down and kill someone…

Conclusion

Hitman 2 may seem like an ordinary mission-based game, but it’s more than that: it offers so much quirky and creative gameplay moments. Stalking NPCs while they chatter on about life. Wandering around role-playing as a mechanic. Changing clothes in the bushes.

It’s certainly not a game for everyone, but for those creative players with plentiful patience there’s something very rewarding here. There’s a lot of slow downtime, but that makes the high intensity payoff moments all the more fulfilling.

This is a must have for the fans of the genre and the series, but even if you’re a “newbie” like me, you’ll notice that there is nothing out there like Hitman 2. I’m still playing the game, and I really want to discover every little detail of the game, enjoying all the cities on offer.

Hitman 2 is a unique game without much competition. It can teach you how to kill an important finance genius, who’s also a terrorist, while you wear a clown suit, and how to love and appreciate all of it.

Creative gameplay choices

Many details to discover

Graphically impressive

Very replayable

Great voice acting

Hitman 1 maps DLC

English voices only

Frustrating for newbies

Elusive targets time limited

Some missions are too long

Keyboard/mouse and joypad don’t play well together

Playtime: 30 hours total (and counting). Mathieu has not completed the game, but he’s still playing!

Computer Specs: Windows 10 64-bit laptop computer, with 16GB of Ram, Nvidia 1050Ti.

Hitman 2 Review: It’s a Hit, Man…2 published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

[gibsonsflowofthoughts]

Which moments in NFL history do you wish you had seen live?

The NFL has had some indelible moments throughout its nearly 100-year existence. The Immaculate Reception. The Music City Miracle. The Minnesota Miracle. David Tyree’s Super Bowl catch. Wide Right. The Catch. Kevin Dyson coming up a yard short. The Butt Fumble.

We’ve seen many of them live, either on television or in person. But for others, it only feels that way because they’re such a familiar part of sports lore. Maybe we weren’t born yet or were too young to remember. Or maybe we first caught the clip on Twitter or SportsCenter. But those plays were spoiled for us: we knew ahead of time that we were about see something special.

For some of us, we saw it on TV, but we wish we could have been there in the stadium and shared that experience with a large group of our fellow slack-jawed fans who were feeling the exact same amazement as we were.

Either way, you never forget what it’s like to watch something like that unfold in real time, transitioning from that “what just happened?” shock to the realization that what you just witnessed will go down into NFL history.

Here are nine moments — on the field and off, live on TV or in person — we wish we had seen when they happened:

We wish we had been there in person

2016 NFC Championship Game

Even though it ended in catastrophe, the 2016 season was the most fun I’ve ever had watching the Atlanta Falcons. They could score at will, play great defense in spurts, and were just a thoroughly entertaining team to watch.

I wish I was at this game just for one specific play.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched that play. It was a pure display of physical dominance by Julio Jones, a perfect throw by Matt Ryan, and a great play call by Kyle Shanahan.

There are few times when one football player is clearly one step ahead of his competition. This was absolutely one of those instances on one of the biggest stages the NFL has to offer. As the CEO of the Julio Jones Fan Club, I really wish I was there for this moment. - Charles McDonald

Beast Quake

The real appeal of seeing something live, in my opinion, is soaking in the moment with the crowd. There’s just nothing quite like over 60,000 people losing their shit simultaneously.

Probably my favorite NFL video of the last calendar year was the sideline view of Stefon Diggs’ miracle touchdown against the Saints in the playoffs. If a crowd going that bananas doesn’t give you chills or goosebumps or, at the very least, a smile, you’re just not enjoying sports right.

So with that said, I’m flying my time machine to Seattle in January 2011 when Marshawn Lynch ran through approximately 87 Saints tacklers on his way to a 67-yard touchdown that clinched the Seahawks an unlikely playoff win. It has since been dubbed “Beast Quake” because the crowd noise literally caused a small tremor that was recorded on nearby seismographs.

Watching videos online of that kind of collective explosion is fun, but I can only imagine how incredible it must’ve been like to take in the moment with Seahawks faithful. — Adam Stites

Randy Moss fake-moons Lambeau Field

“That is a disgusting act by Randy Moss,” Joe Buck said.

Actually, it was an amazing act. I yearn to have been there. — Alex Kirshner

The Minneapolis Miracle

This is such an easy choice for so many reasons. We can start off with the fact that I’m a Falcons fan that enjoys Saints pain. The other thing here that really anybody that’s not a Saints fan can enjoy, is that this was an absolutely ridiculous ending to a football game.

I think it’s pretty safe to say that nobody thought the Vikings were going to be able to pull that off. If you know somebody that claims otherwise, they’re lying.

Plus, if you could get Joe Buck to lose his mind like that without Randy Moss pretending to show his ass, you’ve really done something. Not to mention the range of emotions it put everyone else through. — Harry Lyles Jr.

X-Clown

Some plays are indelibly burned in your mind and feel recent, even though they were forever ago. It’s hard to believe it’s been 15 years since the Carolina Panthers went to double overtime against the Rams in the NFC Divisional Playoffs, but this feels like yesterday.

The game was a complete slugfest, and at the time the game was billed as the Panthers’ grinding run game vs. Marc Bulger and the Rams’ astounding air attack — but in the end it was Steve Smith’s walk-off touchdown that took it all home.

This play was so damn disrespectful for the time, and it was beautiful. Jake Delhomme was never an amazing quarterback — but he had this knack for making big time throws when it counted. Hitting Smitty in stride after the pump fake was pure beauty, and I lost it in the basement of my parents’ house when it happened. I wish I could have been there live. — James Dator

We wish we had been alive for — or old enough to appreciate

The Ice Bowl

There are approximately one thousand incredible moments that make up the Packers’ storied history, but few can match the rarified air of the 1967 NFL Championship Game — better known as the Ice Bowl. It was a balmy -15 when the Packers and Cowboys took the field in Green Bay, and wind chill made it feel as awful as -48 as Lambeau Field’s broken heating system left a slippery sheen of ice atop the turf.

What happened next was football as performance art. Neither team gained more than 200 yards, leading to 16 combined punts that kept the crowd wondering which would shatter first: the ball itself or Donny Anderson’s foot. The Packers trailed 17-14 with 16 seconds on the clock and no timeouts remaining when Vince Lombardi got bold, dialed up a quarterback sneak for Bart Starr, and punched his team’s ticket to a second straight Super Bowl.

Watching it on TV would be cool. Watching it at Lambeau would be legendary. Look at this photo of our collective grandpas, showing up 50,000-deep for a football game in a frigid town of 75,000.

via the Pro Football Hall of Fame

Stare at that picture and inhale deeply, through your nose. Do you smell it? It’s the smell of 150,000 brandy old-fashioneds and stale Lucky Strike cigarettes being slowly smothered by the cold. I want in. — Christian D’Andrea

T.O. celebrating on the Dallas star

For me, a San Francisco 49ers fan, there are some obvious moments. I was born in 1990, and therefore missed some of the greatest moments in franchise history. I was alive for one that doesn’t necessarily hold up to The Catch, but is still one of my favorite moments in football history: Terrell Owens’ celebration on the Dallas Cowboys’ star.

The reason that’s my pick is twofold: I obviously would have loved to be at that game live, screaming my face off at Cowboys fans and hoping they don’t beat my obnoxious 10-year-old ass; and also I would have loved to see the reactions on social media. At that time, Facebook was still four years away, while Twitter was a further two years out.

Don’t get me wrong — social media and sports is an awful combination pretty much 95 percent of the time. But the gloriousness that would come out of the reactions to Owens’ celebration on the star, Emmitt Smith’s retaliatory celebration on the same star, and Owens’ follow-up second celebration on it would be phenomenal. Of course, if Twitter existed, it hardly would have been suitable for 10-year-old me. Or perhaps I’d fit right in. — James Brady

The “Super Bowl Shuffle” phenomenon

Whether you were alive during the 80s or not, it’s the Potter Stewart obscenity case: you know it when you see it.

And if you’ve seen even a glimpse of the “Super Bowl Shuffle,” it’s about as 80s as it gets:

The production value of Sugarhill Gang’s “Rapper’s Delight” music video. Awkward dancing. Even awkwarder rapping. Those closeups of the one guy in sunglasses. Sax solo — and oh wait, he’s wearing sunglasses too! A COWBELL.

This wasn’t a play on the field or really even a moment: It was an actual phenomenon. The song sold more than 700,000 copies in its first year, made around $200,000 for charity, the record went gold, the video was in heavy rotation at MTV, and it lost a Grammy to Prince.

So even if today it looks more like a parody, it was a legitimate hit then and people enjoyed it for any number of reasons — because the players were having fun, because they were trying to help feed the needy, because Walter Payton’s spitting rhymes like “Well, they call me Sweetness/And I like to dance/Runnin’ the ball is like makin’ romance.”

Other NFL musical efforts like “Ram It,” “Buddy’s Watchin’ You,” and “Living the American Dream” soon followed, but none of those could top the one that paved the way in December 1985.

That’s another point that could easily be overlooked now but probably wasn’t then: It was released almost two months before the Super Bowl. Were people charmed by the cockiness of it? How much outrage was there in a world before social media and Skip Bayless types were on TV spouting exhausting nonsense on a seemingly never-ending basis? Or, hopefully, did fans understand that these larger-than-life personalities were having a blast riding this once-in-a-lifetime season?

Luckily for the Bears, they went on to win their first (and still only) Super Bowl that January. But the “Super Bowl Shuffle” had much more entertainment value than their 46-10 blowout win over the Patriots.

Unfortunately for the Bears, like most things sports fans love, controversy followed. It still lives on today, even though we know an NFL team now would never and could never replicate such an iconic, goofy-in-all-the-right-ways sensation that transcended football and even sports. And that’s why it would’ve been, like, so totally rad to experience this little piece of pop culture-meets-sports history then. — Sarah Hardy

We wish we hadn’t gone to bed and completely missed this

The Seahawks’ goal-line play in Super Bowl 49

As 100 million Americans were sitting on the edge of their seats wondering why Russell Wilson was lined up in the shotgun at the goal line during the final seconds of Super Bowl 49, I was just hitting REM sleep in a London dorm.

When I woke up the next morning and turned to Twitter, I was thinking the same thing as everyone else: “Why the hell didn’t the Seahawks give the ball to Marshawn Lynch on the 1-yard line?”

Except, I actively made the decision to stop watching the game after the first half 14-14 tie. I say that with great shame, especially since one of my best friends is a huge Patriots fans and was, according to my sources at the bar, crying profusely after Malcolm Butler made the pick to seal the Patriots’ Super Bowl title.

I could give you a long list of excuses (some legit and others not so much) about why I chose to leave the bar, but I wouldn’t be doing myself any favors. Just know that I’ve learned my lesson: Under no circumstance should you ever stop watching the Super Bowl in order to get sleep. Never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of Tom Brady Super Bowl comebacks! — Isaac Chipps

Dope article from sbnation.com

[kaihatespeople]

I add to this when I’m sad lul

“There are memories that time does not erase... Forever does not make loss forgettable, only bearable.” ― Cassandra Clare, City of Heavenly Fire 

I don’t even really know where to begin, coherent thoughts are not what I have anymore, so let’s just write and see what I come up with.

Memories are a fickle thing. I’ve always considered myself as a somewhat “smart” person, I guess that’s relative but you know, writing this now I feel stupid, the fact that I have to constantly correct myself or add important parts I’ve somehow missed frustrates me, I guess it happens when you attempt to write down the incoherent ramblings of a madman.

This post is a work in progress, an autobiography of an irrelevant person that’s purpose is to try and provide some insight into why I made the decision I did. I don’t know if I’ll ever actually finish this post but I hope that I can before I’m done. It will be long and arduous to both write and read I presume and it might not all be in chronological order, this may not be properly formatted or structured because I’m technologically inept sometimes, sorry in advance.

To my dad Dad and sister Allaniah when you eventually read this if ever, know that I am sorry. You may not understand or even disagree with the way I portray certain events during this but I want you to understand first and foremost, I do not write it to hurt you, I do not write this to cause sadness or pain, I know that those feelings will be inevitable but I ask that you attempt to put those emotions aside and simply try to understand. This is not something I take pleasure in you reading but either way, I have to do this or it wouldn’t get recorded at all and I feel like you deserve something, some kind of understanding if I do choose to act on how I feel every day.

So, let’s begin.

The story of my life. (A biased view)

Schooling.

I was a terrible kid, trying to give context to that seems impossible and we should leave it at that but fuck it, where should I start. I have had anger/behavior issues my whole life, I was kicked out of my first school at the age of 6 because I got kicked out of recorder club, I was taken into a room after throwing a tantrum and decided to climb on top of a metal filing cabinet and drop a bin from it onto the deputy headteachers head. I guess that’s where it all really started, after that, I was homeschooled, thrown around different centers for a bit until I ended up at Yeading junior school.

In year 3 I used to get annoyed easily, I remember being in Dr. Sydneys class and whenever I would get annoyed, I would turn my chair to the left or right and read a book from the bookshelf that was right behind me, that continued until one day, she came up to me when I was reading a book and told me that if I put more effort and focus on the class, she would invite me to the gifted and talented after school club, I did so and I was invited and attended until it stopped in year 4.

Year 4-6 of school were a blur really, I never really remember being in class albeit only with teachers I enjoyed listening to, Mr. Griff, for instance, was a man that everyone saw as mean, moody, grumpy whatever, but he saw something in me that I can’t explain and I think he was one of the first people I’d ever respected truly. I can’t remember the name of my class teacher in year 4-5, she was a really pretty Arab woman, young, everyone enjoyed having her as our teacher, but it was at that time that a few different fucked up memories come to mind.

I remember when one of our classmates died in a fire, Miriam was her name, I still picture her face in my head when I think about that name because I picture the memorial card clear as day, I remember walking into class and there were tables set up with Lego and me not really understanding what had happened but I made a roller coaster out of it. Apparently the fire was caused by an electrical malfunction and they found her/her brothers shoes/bodies at the back door, apparently having tried to escape, such a fucking sad thought now that I process it, I didn’t really understand when I was a kid, but fuck me thinking about it now makes me sick.

It got to the point where I wouldn’t really go to any lesson, I would give my Mum shit almost every single day in an attempt to not go to school, this is where the depression for her started but we’ll get into that later. I had the police called multiple times because I’d sit in the arts and craft cupboard and decide to walk around the school with a stick etc, sometimes I’d just sit in the library and read, used to be my favorite thing to do (Probably why I ended up having the reading age of an 18-year-old at the age of 9/10). I remember taking an exam in the library because I refused to do it anywhere else and bringing in a pack of 5 Cadbury fudge bars and no one saying anything to the weird kid who sat in the corner doing an exam eating chocolate. What a weird thing to remember.

At some point during this time frame, I was having pretty big issues at home, I was an extremely cantankerous kid, I refused to do anything, I refused to go to school I refused to listen to my mum and I used to get hit for it. Hit pretty bad, I remember there were times where my mum would tell my dad what I’ve been like that day and he would hit me so hard, there was a time where I was on top of the bunk bed and he grabbed a metal drawer for a shelf and tried to hit my legs with it because I was standing up backed up against the wall. My mum swung a buzz lightyear toy at my head and cracked it open. There was a lot of shit that happened but there’s no point delving any deeper, let’s just leave it as I got hit, a lot, probably deservedly.

Around the same time, I was put into care after another altercation with my mum, during which she tried to kick me out of her room after I had fallen to the carpet, resulting in a carpet burn on my face. I remember going to my teachers class, she asked me how did that happen and I replied oh it was my mum like it was the most normal thing in the world. Within a few hours, I was sat in front of the Mrs. Jones the headteacher and a social worker who was asking me a bunch of different questions about the incident and stuff, she took me to the social services center near Hillingdon hospital where they recorded my weight and all that jazz, I remember when my mum came to the center and the look of disgust she gave me was something I’ll never forget. I couldn’t really look at her because I knew that I’d fucked up somehow. I was sent to a shared house with other kids in West Drayton.

I remember sitting in that room and thinking I don’t want to be here anymore, enough was enough time to get over it. I took a bus back to Hayes and knocked on the front door of my house, my mum answered and I walked in like nothing happened, we talked for a bit in the kitchen before I went back to the home and told them I wanted to go back to my mum now. It took a while but I did eventually, I remember stealing their milkshake before I went too, I’m pretty sure it was banana.

Continuing from the depression point earlier, I know it was at this point that my mum started to become depressed, depressed with my behavior, depressed at the child I had become. She couldn’t work or do anything because she’d receive a call almost daily from my school requesting her to come in and collect me or something along those lines. It didn’t help that I used to love being at home, I would intentionally try to get sent home not knowing the profound effect it was having on her and her mental state. I want whoever reads this to know that I blame myself. I blame myself for her depression, I understand I was a kid and that sometimes kids are hard but I was something else and I will blame myself for as long I live, nothing anyone says to me will ever change that and I would never want to forget that it was my fault, it fuels me sometimes, it gives me anger when there’s nothing in me and sometimes I need it, I need to feel hurt, I need to feel angry.

During that whole time at Yeading Junior School, every time I was angry or every time I caused issues, Mrs. Jones never once permanently excluded me. That’s something I still think about to this day, no matter how bad I got she never did, she always saw something more in me and I think she believed I could be better. I remember riding home from the gym once a few months after Mum died and thinking about Mrs. Jones, I called the school randomly and spoke to her briefly, I told her that I was thankful, thankful for everything she had ever done for me, thankful that she stuck her neck out for me and kept me there, kept me learning. I will have the utmost respect for that woman until the day I die and I hope she remains healthy and well for a long time.

After leaving Yeading it was time for high school, I think that’s the point I really became something else. I started attending Barnhill community high and I was permanently excluded within three? weeks due to a stack of reports inches high. My mum was told that I should never have been allowed to attend a mainstream school and that there was nothing they could do for me.

I have a few memories that stand out from Barnhill in the short duration I was there, most notably the Miss Dossou incident. Miss Dossou was my French teacher who seemed to have a problem with me for what I presumed to be no reason, looking back I can almost guarantee it was because I was the “Class clown” and constantly messed around/disrupted the classroom, there was one incident in particular however that was the catalyst for all to come. One day Miss Dossou decided that I should move seat because someone else at my table was talking, I was being punished for SOMEONE ELSE TALKING? I decided to change seats but not without making an offhanded comment that went something like “At least it doesn’t look like I was hit in the face with a frying pan this morning” in an obvious attempt to mock her relatively flat facial features, she didn’t like that one bit, such a stupid series of events orchestrated by the mind of a child that didn’t know any better.