#for his sake i hope not
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sorry guys but i can't post the halloween fic until tomorrow. some spoilers though:
- it's satoru/suguru/reader
- ghostface masks/hunt + smut
- dubcon ??? like ,,, how do i explain this ,,, a switcheroo, if you will (expect the unexpected)
- suguru and reader are dating and satoru is a jealous dick lmao (ahhhh but guess WHO he is jealous of 🧐)
- double penetration
- vag/anal penetration
- sum gay stuff hehe 🤪 (satosugu stay winning)
- looking like 6-8k words
- some fun stuff like knife play, primal play, blood kinks, choking, bondage (the whole shebang)
but... yeah! i hope you all had a great, safe, fun halloween, and i'll see ya soon! here's the banner (yes i actually made a banner this time i redownloaded apps for it)
#sorry for the delay guys#i just know i can't finish it in the next 40 minutes#and i don't wanna rush#i'm kinda bummed it won't get out before halloween is over#but that's okay#still spooky szn in my heart <3#i saw this one treat or treater dressed like gojo#😭😭😭#do you think he knows what happens to gojo#for his sake i hope not#satoru/suguru fic#jjk fic#gojo#geto#jjk x reader
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10 years in the future for Nanako-chan
#nanako dojima#persona 4#yu narukami#ryotaro dojima#tohru adachi#a little sister... a LITTLw sister. you expect me to not fawn...? to not crumble? ok....#go on. look....... go on. GO ON!!!!! (crazed) (eye twitching) (i like these 4 and nana-chan especially)#hope you like my older design for her...#funfacts i said on twitter so i'll put on tags here:#adachi did his time in jail quick. yu's 27 and still looks the same. pretty bancho#i think nanakos signature color would change from pink to yellow. yu doesn't actually wear any yellow at all in p4g IIRC#but it is a color you associate him with the most. i want nanako to adopt that color. BUUUTTT#for self indulgent's sake she does wear pink to get yu to dote on her more. (reminds him fondly of baby nana-chan)#(AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!)#oh yeah and adachi's a hag. i think his fashion is handpicked by yu probaably.#(thinking if i missed anything else) ahhhh........... nanako-chan... return for p6 or something. ok byeee!
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GLOW | DARK
Entry for @glowweek day 1!
I'm a huge fan of raves and EDM, so when i saw the prompt "Glow" i couldn't help but think of the amazing glowing from blacklight, UV paint, and of course the glow bracelets that are at these shows!
I took inspiration from the scene of Steven and Connie dancing at Sour Cream's party in the episode "Alone Together" and also some colors from clips of various Porter Robinson Dj sets.
#glowweek#connverse#steven universe#connie maheswaran#steven x connie#su#suf#steven quartz universe#steven universe future#art#glowweek day 1#my art#fanart#digital art#edm#i have to put his full name for comedy's sake#steven quartz cutiepie demayo diamond universe#i hope this looks okay bc this sort of lighting is was difficult for me😓 i had some trouble with it
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Anyway. Bi and Mspec Lesbians aren't a hotly "debated" topic or even new to queer culture, it's just the newest thing that bullies who REALLY want to be homophobic and even racist use to justify harassing gay people they don't like.
It's the thinnest possible veneer of progressive language wrapped around TERF and reactionary rhetoric so that they can feel righteous for forming an angry mob against vulnerable targets. If you're gullible enough to fall for the newest wave of bigotry within the queer community, and turn on your allies because they're "confusing" or "invading your spaces," the SAME way they turned on bi/pan labels, trans people, xenogenders, neopronouns, and aroace people before this, then get lost.
#No patience. Wither and rot.#These motherfuckers dogpiled the legend who leaked the no fly list because it identified as the wrong type of lesbian.#They will attack the people doing DIRECT ACTION over dumbfuck label discourse. Deeply unserious people.#Embarrassing to think that there are rubes out there who keep falling for this#For ALL our sakes I hope this is literally their first rodeos and they really haven't fallen for this bullshit twice.#But unfortunately I'm too old to be that hopeful.#I didn't get to see the big ''public block list'' made for us dirty queers who support or are bi/mspec lesbians but I hope I was on it#If a man is best judged by his enemies then exclusionists who echo terf rhetoric are the ones I WANT to have.#And ''public lesbian block list'' is in quotes because if you REALLY thought that such a thing wasn't a ''GO HARASS THESE PEOPLE'' charter-#--then you have a black mold where your brain used to be and it's rapidly eating into the bathroom tile you call a skull#Unironically you should not have a platform if you are THAT stupid or malicious to think it was anything BUT a harassment charter#I hope they're ashamed.#Context for those unaware: a flesh-eating amoeba created a public blocklist for people who supported bi lesbians#Minors and extremely small creators without big platforms were on that list#People got harassed but the most namely was Lockandkeyhyena who had people raiding his server with racial slurs and death threats.#I hope everyone involved sees who their ''allies'' are when they spread that sentiment.#A bunch of people ACTUALLY 'invading someone's space' to post the n-word and suicidebait.#THAT is who you appeal to. Sit with that.
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Saw the title of today’s episode, can’t wait to watch my girlfriend get his ass kicked 🥰
#eustass kidd#massacre soldier killer#red haired shanks#hoping for lore about the two of them finally but it’s One Piece so who the hell knows#anyway can’t wait to watch Kid die horribly (affectionate)#I hope he gets defeated and then realizes that the real one piece was the friends he made along the way#and then him and Killer and the rest of the Kid Pirates all frolic off into the sunset#and get to go listen to alt music and murder civilians and eat pasta#and whatever else they like to do#💖together💖 awwwwww#for his own sake I hope Eustass gets power of friendship-ed#it would be good for him#one piece#one piece fanart#my art#eustass kid#eustasscaptainkid#one piece killer#killer one piece#kid one piece#kidd pirates#kidkil#not explicitly or at all if u don’t want it to be. I enjoy them in all flavors and this isn’t inherently meant as romantic at all#but I shall also give the shippers their crumbs cuz I’m also one of you sometimes#kiddkiller#kid x killer#eustass captain kidd#art#one piece 1112#yapping in tags
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i made a digital vw zine, there's a bunch of stuff on here that hasn't been shared elsewhere! if you're looking for a barrage of vw being really clingy and all, look no further :]
LINK
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#trigun stampede#ruporas art#HI....... HELLO..... this is my first zine ever.... this is primarily a sketch log with a few finished stuff that i just never posted#there's a few drawings that i did share but never cross - platformed posted them before#compiled them for convenience sake in this lil zine#NEXT YEAR! i will definitely do a physical zine if there's still garnered interest in that lol... it's been in the wips but it's taking#a bit because there's long-ish comics i want to finish for it; alongside that i hope to set up sale for physical goods in general soon..#i'm still figuring that all out :') but in the mean time - please enjoy this if u are able to buy!!
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.
Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.
Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.
Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.
#pjo#percy jackson#nico di angelo#Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?''#and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus#but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3''#and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to''#only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it#and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book#Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out''#Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.''#''this has been so bad for my health''#Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested.#Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him''#Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him.#and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE#though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it.#he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure''#nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards.#which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for
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Genuinely Williams switching Logan out for Franco feels personal and petty. I haven’t been following f2 super closely this year but from what I’ve seen Franco is just.. fine? I mean, he’s good, but he’s not Kimi or Paul. To replace Logan at this point would only make sense if they swapped him for someone with loads more experience, someone more likely to score points. At this point they’re swapping him for someone who’s probably gonna have his same level of performance, if not worse. It just feels almost petty? It’s like a weirdly personal move and it just makes me think about all of the reports of JV’s alleged mistreatment and silent treatment towards Logan.
#I don’t know!!! it just feels weird!!#like… franco is probably gonna be just as bad bc it’s his FIRST TIME#I’m glad Logan’s out purely bc the environment seemed so toxic#but wow#wild move#it just doesn’t make sense to me#anyway#FUCK James vowles#I hope franco does well for his sake#this just feels bad#but#i really really hope Franco does well bc I do like him from what I’ve seen.#f1#formula 1#f1blr#formula one#williams what the fuck#williams formula 1#williams racing#williams f1#james vowles#ls2#logan sargeant
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PHIL DAY PHIL DAY PHIL DAY
@amazingphil thanks for shaping my personality for the last decade may u have the loveliest birthday ^_^
#HAPPY! BIRTHDAY! PHIL!#i had like. assignments to do and such. but frankly ive been putting them off for the sake of finishing this#WHICH. WORTH IT IDK!#been watching a guy since you were twelve years old and it’s the first time you actually make art for his birthday… what a world#philip michael lester u have done so much for me. for lesbians everywhere. hope u know this. love u. hbd#amazingphil#phil lester#phanart#and i suppose dan is here too. a bit. pointing. what manner of rat is this
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#my art#galvatron#cyclonus#every time someone says something like this i get a little bit meaner to t*ilgate#i really dont Want to be a hater but some of you... make it difficult#especially that stupid ass vague post i saw a while ago lmfaoo it gave me a laugh at least but dear lord.#sitting my autistic ass down and listening to the ableism allegations levied against me#its a hatecrime to mischaracterize tg now#i Know tgs personality. i think his personality is immensely annoying#simple as#and i dont care enough abt him to portray it accurately in what is a 5 panel joke comic#like bro im a galvatrongirl u really think i care about failgate??#and anon i hope for your sake and everyone elses that this was said ironically/with the purpose of making mtmtepeople look worse cus if not#transformers
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acau has 1 mod, 12000 viewers speaking 5+ languages and a dream
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for the record even if ganondorf is irredeemably evil and tries to kill everyone i’ll still support him. he’s my boo. my cinnamon apple. my rotten soldier, my sweet cheese, my good time boy. he’s my babygirl, the apple of my eye, the reason i get up in the mornings. my forever galpal.
#totk#botw#legend of zelda#loz#ganondorf#i do THINK... even if he stays the villain (which honestly is probably the most likely lol) that he'll be more nuanced#I HOPE#but like.............#totk is giving heavy princess mononoke vibes#especially with link's arm becoming corrupted after being grabbed by the evil tendrils?#exactly how ashitaka's arm got corrupted#so i can see this ganondorf being like a lady eboshi villain#they both want to rule the world and they both do terrible things#but they care about their people#they have qualities that make others loyal to them despite their amoral actions#wind waker ganondorf said he initially did everything because he was resentful of how his people were dying in the desert#while hyrulians prospered#i want to see more of that#and less of 2 dimensional evil for the sake of being evil
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Fuck you Endeavor. Fuck you All For One. Fuck you to all the Pro-Heroes. Fuck the Hero Society and FUCK YOU HORIKOSHI too 🥰
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha 426#mha 426#fuck endeavor#— ❥ kelrambles;#am i pissed?? HELL YEAH. am i sad?? FUCK YEAH. I AM FUCKING CRYING FOR FUCK SAKE—#ahhhh i am so done with horikoshi istg… SO. DONE.#always killing off the characters who more than anyone in this god forsaken manga deserved to be happy#the hero society haven’t got better AT ALL#the same toxic shit all over again that promotes so much toxicity it makes me VOMIT#excusing the abusers and crucifying the victims OHH I AM SO FUCKING SICK TO MY STOMACH#been hurling so bad at the last few chapters because tf?????#like… i’m sorry today’s chapter was… nice (at most) only because touya got to have a last talk with his mother and siblings…#but other than that???? hope horikoshi steps on a lego hits the corners of every furniture with his toe EVERYWHERE he goes#and most of all???? that in this scorching weather both sides of his pillow are WARM AS FUCK#honestly… just like shigaraki’s chapter this chapter felt RUSHED as hell too…#especially after how much horikoshi have been staying behind the todorokis as a family…#idk these last chapters just don’t make sense to me…
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my household has outdoor cats (this is not a decision i have any say in) and thankfully for the most part it hasnt caused any issues, but recently one of our cats isnt eating at dinner time and we're not sure if its because he's sick or if he's just getting food from somewhere else. and the AMOUNT i have to bite my tongue and not smugly go ''well we would have a solution to this problem if we simply :) kept him indoors :) '' drives me insane.
#like yeah even if you dont have traffic and predators and yada yada yada. its still stressful to have these unknown factors with your pet#i hope for his sake that hes just been getting fed by a neighbor and isnt ill. but man.
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Making sense of love for love's sake: the game
Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:
'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'
And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".
When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.
And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.
And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:
"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable." "It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."
Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.
"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile." "Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?" "Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."
And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.
"I don't like talking about destiny." "Why?" "Because it means everything is predestined." "Then do you not believe in fate?" "Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." "Really? Then Myungha..."
And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.
And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.
And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.
The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.
#wow look at me writing actual kinda thought out meta#also something something about how the pen being in his pocket wasnt a pen given to him by the author its a pen that was his the whole time#look even if this isnt the right interpretation as intended by the author i just kinda adore this headcanon ive come up with and i cant wai#to rewatch the show again through this lens and see if it holds up#i just adore the idea of this whole thing being this manifestation of a flawed doubtful person trying to navigate through their own messy#nonsensical thoughts to find their own happiness#bc yes thats what triggered me thinking of this whole thing. me seeing that post and thinking yeah that doesnt make sense7#but then again when you tell yourself things an put your own mental blocks in the way they dont make sense either but you still have to fin#the ways to work around them in order to find happiness#like those things dont go away we just find the loopholes or the ways to overcome them that mean we can be happy#the game is your own mind - deal with your own existential crisis as you wish#anyway this is only part 1 in what i hope will be a very extensive meta analysis of this show - stay tuned#love for love's sake
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