#for everyone asking yes this goes both ways

[fight-for-what-you-love]

♪Wheel of Fortune - Kay Starr

Aahhhh. I love weddings. Don’t you? I think it’s a wonderful expression of one’s love for another, and it’s always nice to see celebrated! Crashing weddings can be fun to watch too, thankfully. Thanks, Sierra! (And sorry you lost your husband!)

Notes on the episode under the cut!

* Cody’s silently praying to whatever God may be out there that Noah’s the one that comes back.

* Chris announces Noah’s return as he rises from the stage on a three-tier platform. Sierra’s “WHAT” is drowned out by Cody’s “YES!!!”.

* (Noah's song is an entirely new arrangement that spoofs Kay Starr’s “Wheel Of Fortune”. It would entail Noah leading [obviously], singing about how awful it is that Lady Luck brought him back to compete on this awful show. It would end with Noah and Cody collectively thanking Lady Luck for letting them see each other again.)

* Noah asks if he has to go back to team Chris, and Chris responds that the teams are merging. Everyone welcomes this development except Sierra.

* Once he rejoins the cast proper, Sierra starts picking a fight with him. “Whatever… At least I got to spend more time with Cody.” Noah’s petty. “…At least Cody likes spending time with me.”

* They keep going. “At least I got to sleep with Cody!” “At least I slept with him first!” “At least my parents won’t hate me because I kissed a boy!!” “At least my parents care about me in the first place!!”

* Chris interrupts them: “Okay, okay! As entertaining as this spat is…” Cut to Cody, Tyler and Heather holding back Noah, and Courtney, Alejandro and Duncan holding back Sierra. Cody holds Noah’s mouth shut and Courtney holds Sierra’s shut. “…I’ve got a show to run. Let’s move on, shall we?”

* Sierra’s the first one to spin the roulette machine and she gets Tyler. She’s not happy. Tyler’s met with no one as Sierra yells at Chris to let her spin again. He insists she gets what she gets, and she’s not allowed to re-roll.

* Noah goes after Sierra, and rolls Cody. He pops out and finds himself in front of Noah. He jumps up and hugs him tight as he says it’s “The BEST DAY EVER!!” Sierra seethes in the background.

* Courtney rolls Alejandro and Heather is left with Duncan. Alejandro's disappointed but he won't say that out loud. Courtney on the other hand is SO happy to not be with Duncan.

* (As it turns out, Courtney and Alejandro are more compatible than they thought. Duncan and Heather, on the other hand, are not. Sad.)

* Noah and Cody breeeeeeze through the dress portion of the challenge. Cody’s laying down on his podium kicking around his legs, yelling directions at Noah with the stupidest look on his face. Noah makes it to the dress first and looks it up and down. Cody yells out “I THOUGHT THAT DRESS SUITED YOU WELL!!” Noah weakly yells back “Thank you Cody!” He’s not thrilled about wearing the dress, but he does appreciate Cody leading him to the one he’d be the most comfortable in.

* Noco’s the first ones to walk the tightrope. Cody looks down at the falls nervously, and Noah suggests carrying him instead. Cody stops him, insisting he can do it, and picks Noah up. Noah leans into him, getting comfortable. “If you insist, macho man.”

* Sierra and Tyler go after them and Sierra’s visibly upset. Tyler tries to mellow her out, suggesting that Cody and Noah are happy with each other and maybe she should let them be. Sierra stares at them as they talk about flower arrangements in their hypothetical wedding. She decides that no, she’s not quite ready to let them be, so she starts bouncing to make Tyler wobble and shake the line. It works and both couples fall.

* Cody manages to grab Noah in one arm and the line in another, though he’s struggling. Noah asks him if he can pull them back up (though he knows he can’t.) Cody tries anyway, and strains to the point of veins popping out of his neck. Noah tells him to stop.

* Alejandro and Courtney walk by and Alejandro “accidentally” kicks Cody’s hand off the line. Noco falls, screaming on the way down (“No!” in reality, “Asshole!” If I was allowed to curse.) Courtney is somewhat impressed by his ruthlessness. They win this challenge. Duncan and Heather were just bickering the whole time don’t worry about them.

~*[Events of the comic]*~

* Duncan gets voted out for being a prick and a bastard. Courtney is ok with this.

[howlingday]

Vash gun Jaune (that's what I'm officially calling it)

Jaune: So what are we doing

Ruby: A expedition trip for you to get used to your gun. You got the new bracers?

Jaune: Yeah I got them....where are we going

Ruby: We...oh no this is for you *tosses a heavy backpack to him* Inside is at least 2 months of supplies but you gotta make it last.

Jaune: *Looks worried* What do you mean by that?

As he asked this the section Jaune sat at give way dropping him into a Forrest that is filled with mist.

Ruby: *Yells at him* "See you in about 4 months when the mist clear!"

Jaune: RUBY ROSE WHEN I SEE YOU AGAIN, IM SO GONNA GET MY PAYBACK!!!

(Landing strategy maybe his charged shots help him)

My name is Jaune Arc. I was born in Ansel, then left for Beacon when I turned 17. On my way there, a lot of things happened. A lot of bad things. Things that everyone blamed me for, which led to me being branded the most wanted criminal on Remnant.

So there I was, staring at the bladed edge of the greatest huntress in Atlas when suddenly a snow angel came in to stop her. The most beautiful snow angel I'd ever seen. And next to her was my best friend, Ruby, who was holding up my wanted poster before ripping it in half.

"On behalf of the Schnee Dust Company Insurance Department," Weiss explained, "Jaune Arc, also known as Walking Disaster Jaune is declared void of his bounty, as it has been deemed that he can be held as responsible for damage as earthquake or a hurricane. As such, myself and Ruby Rose are to act as his handlers until such time his cataclysmic tendencies are deemed null and void."

Now, you're probably wondering why Ruby, who is supposed to be keeping an eye on me, just dropped me in the middle of a misty forest. Well, the reason is quite simple; she hates me. There's also a more complicated reason, which is that I'm supposed to be training for something big that's supposed to be happening soon, so I need to train both my body and my senses for four months.

She also gave me this gun she hand-crafted just for me. She says it's probably the most powerful handgun in the world, calling it "the best hand-cannon Remnant will ever see." And that's pretty much the bare bones of why I'm here, laying against a tree with a sore shoulder, an aching bicep, and probably a broken hand. Thank goodness for aura, right?

I just hope no one is stupid enough to come wandering into these woods after the SDCID just put out word that these woods are sectioned off for "natural disaster preparation". Yes, I know how dumb it sounds, too, but I'm not the one who came up with this plan. That honor goes to Weiss' dad.

[ficsandgiggles]

Closing the Distance (Wanda x Reader)

A/N: Hey everyone, sorry there’s been a gap between fics, life has slammed me with a few things so my motivation for write has been non existent.

I know a few people on here are going through things, so this fic goes out to you guys. You’ll get through this, I believe in you ❤️

Word count: 1265

Warnings: None

You noticed Wanda watching TV in the living room of your shared house, the two of you had decided to get a place together since the two of you were close and wanted to have a place where there were fewer people around, thus less pressure to be as social.

These last two weeks had been a challenge, you felt like life had slammed you with problem after problem and you were at a point where you didn’t know how much more you could take.

You knew you couldn’t hide your feelings from Wanda, both due to her powers and the fact that she could read you like a book, and she probably knew something was wrong as you had kept your distance from her quite a bit these past few days.

One thing she didn’t know, however, was that there was a way of cheering you up which rarely failed. You were currently trying to pluck up the courage to ask her if she was willing to give you a little something which was guaranteed to make you smile… and laugh.

You weren’t sure why, but tickling had always been a thing that made you happy, the freedom of just letting go and feeling free to laugh, it was a sensation that you missed dearly.

The last time you got tickled was by Yelena, who needed a way to get you to let go of a bottle of hot sauce she wanted for her food, you had a feeling she would tickle you since you’d seen her tickle Kate whenever she’d pull pranks so you hoped she would do the same, you were ecstatic when it worked.

You weren’t sure if Wanda would be willing to tickle you, but you knew that you wouldn’t know if you didn’t ask, and you really needed something to cheer you up as your mood was so bad, so you decided to go for it.

You sat next to Wanda who was still watching TV, you immediately started playing with your fingers and bit your lip.

“Hey! Nice of you to join me, are you okay?” The witch asked immediately, her attention turned towards you. She had been increasingly worried about you and the way you had been distancing yourself, so she wanted to help in whatever way she could.

“Yeah, yeah. Just a lot of things going on, sorry I haven’t been around much.” You told her quietly, not yet meeting her gaze as you kept fidgeting.

“Is there anything I can do? I want to try and help however I can.” Wanda offered, noticing you suddenly appeared nervous as you knew it was time to ask her.

“There is, actually… but it’s okay if you don’t want to.” You started, murmuring quietly as you tried to figure out how to ask her. You looked up to see Wanda listening attentively.

“I want to help, what can I do?”

“Well uh… this may seem weird but… could you… please tickle me? I-I like the feeling of being free to laugh and I don’t hate the sensation and-“

You were interrupted by wiggling fingers on your knee, causing you to squeal in surprise and kick out. The witch then pulled you into a hug, wrapping her arms around you and scribbling her fingers into your sides.

“Aw! Y/N of course I can! This is adorable!” Wanda teased, pulling you closer and smiling fondly as you giggled hysterically. You wiggled around in her arms but showed no signs of trying to escape her hold.

What you didn’t expect, however, is the feeling of flutters under your arms on your neck, realising that she was now adding her magic to the playful torture.

“You really are a ticklish one, Y/N! Yes you are! So cute!” Wanda teased in your ear, now shaking her fingers into your ribs which made you squeal with adorable laughter. The witch looked at you with a soft smile, finding this ordeal absolutely wholesome.

You flushed red at her teasing as you wiggled around in her arms, so much so that you were almost lying across her lap, which allowed her to pin your arms over your head and move you so you were on your back across her lap, she looked down you with a smirk.

“What happened here, hm?” She asked, suddenly using her magic to pin your arms over your head, pausing for a moment. “Is this okay?”

You nodded in response, biting back your smile as Wanda teasingly wiggled her fingers over you.

“Good, because I’m going to make sure you’re all cheered up!” She told you with a grin before her fingers danced all over your tummy, making you squeal with giggles once again whilst thrashing around in her lap.

“EHEHEHEHE WAHAHAHANDA!” You squeaked out, arching your back as you felt her magic flutter along the soles of your feet. Your legs flailed about helplessly but you weren’t hating it at all.

“You’re so ticklish, Y/N! It’s so nice to hear your cute little giggles, I’ve missed them so much.” Wanda told you, now briefly lifting your top up to blow a raspberry onto your tummy, causing you to screech with laughter and attempt to twist to the side.

“NOHOHOHO SHUHUHUSH!” You laughed out, feeling her fingers wiggle under your arms at the same time.

“Okay, I’ll stop talking and raspberry you instead.” The witch shrugged and blew another one, causing you to scream with laughter once again.

Wanda paused her magic and her raspberries to give you a quick break, she looked at you with a fond smile as you took in deep breaths, with the occasional few giggles coming out as her fingers were fluttering u see your arms still.

“Having fun?” Wanda checked in, chuckling as you immediately nodded.

“Good, so am I, I’ve missed that smile. I’ll carry on for a bit longer as I don’t want you to pass out.” She told you, and with that, she blew raspberries along your tummy and sides as her fingers moved to your ribs, shaking in mercilessly as her magic fluttered around your toes.

You screamed with laughter, trying everything you could in your weakened down power to escape her, but you weren’t complaining too much despite being exhausted from laughing so hard.

“OKAHAHAHAY PLEHEHEHEASE STOHOHOP!” You yelled out, taking in deep breaths the second she released you from both her fingers and her magic. You shoved your shirt down and sat up, a permanent grin on your face.

“You ok?” Wanda asked gently as she rubbed your back to help calm you down. You nodded in response, smiling shyly.

“Yeah, thank you so much, it really helped.” You told her gratefully, resting your head on her shoulder as she wrapped you in a side hug.

“You’re welcome, Y/N. I’ll happily do it again if you want me to.” Wanda offered, nudging you with a fond giggle as you couldn’t help but blush.

“Thank you… but for now, can we watch a movie?” You asked, still knowing that distractions are the best way to stop your thoughts from spiralling.

The witch smiled and grabbed the remote, handing it to you.

“Sure, just no cheesy rom-coms tonight. You’ve made me watch too many that I couldn’t with a break.” Wanda grinned, watching as you chose an action movie for a change.

The two of you got settled for a movie night, and for the first time in a while, you felt a little more at ease, especially now you knew that you could rely on Wanda for some cheer-up tickles.

[chirpingfromthebox]

An Incredibly Biased Primer to the Minnesota Frost Roster

First of all, you should know that I am by no means a hockey expert. I was never one for playing sports, and most of my hockey knowledge comes from watching MN Wild games back in the days before I got too busy with school and never got back to it. So take what I say with a grain of salt. I like who I like and I don't have any real knowledge of the NCAA nor the lore of women's hockey history. But I love hearing from all the wonderful hockey players, and NCAA fans, and general WoHo historians, and everyone else on here who are so much more knowledgeable than I. (as well as just the other fans like myself).

In any case here is my very biased guide to some of the big names (imho) on the Frost's roster to give any new fans a place to start. Especially because our team is all about the drama and we deserve nice things for daring to ride the chaos coaster.

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Unlike every other hockey player list in the world, I'm not going to start with the Forwards.

Defenders are my favorite and so I'm gonna start with them!

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Defenders

And because this is my list, I'm also gonna start with my favorite player and first in the number order:

Lee Stecklein!

Stecklein is a 6 foot tall master of defense and one of the alternate captains for the Frost (so if you see an "A" on someone's jersey that's what that means). And she has won basically everything there is to win.

An Olympic gold medal? Yes. An NCAA National Championship? 3 of them. An Isobel Cup? Yep. What about an IIHF Championship? U18 or World Championship, you ask? It doesn't matter, because she's done both. She has since retired from the National Team, but was a staple on it for a long time.

After I started watching the PWHL last season she was the player that really caught my eye. Even though the camera wants to follow the action, I am often trying to look at what defenders are doing and I kept noticing #2, because she was always where the opposing offensive wanted to be. You'd swear she can see 5 seconds into the future, because she is just consistently exactly where she needs to be.

And, maybe this is neither here nor there, but I swear she is also just an incredibly graceful skater. Any hockey players out there please confirm or deny this. While a lot of players skate like they're attacking the ice, Stecklein seems to glide across it.

Okay, okay, enough gushing here's some things to note. She had the most penalty minutes of any Frost player last season. But she laughingly claims this was due to refs being inconsistent with where exactly the line was on how league was calling penalties at the beginning. So don't expect her to repeat that distinction.

In terms of defense she often goes under the radar because she's a shutdown defender more than an offensive one. So don't expect her to be racking up points this season. But anytime the Frost is in trouble expect to see her on the ice. She's big, she has incredible hockey sense, and a leading force both on and off the ice for the Frost's defense.

Her skill on defense AND as a leader is a big part of why I think the Frost's defense is something for other teams have to take real seriously.

Sophie Jaques

Jaques was the Patty Kazmaier award winner in 2023. She was part also part of one of the biggest stories of season one: Boston trading Jaques to Minnesota for Susanna Tapani. This was a pretty big deal because Jaques was Boston's 2nd round draft pick and Tapani was Minnesota's 5th round pick! So this was a pretty massive trade.

It was also notable for being a genius move by both teams. Both players went on to really excel on their new teams in ways they hadn't been before. Consider this, during the 7 games she played for Boston she had 0 goals and 0 assists. Then she goes to Minnesota, they have complete faith in her, she starts working with Lee Stecklein, and then in her 15 regular season games with MN she had 2 goals and 8 assists. (She also nearly got the championship winning goal for Minnesota in the Finals, but that's a whole different story.)

Unlike Stecklein, Jaques is an offensive defender. You can expect her to be a part of some big plays and part of the defense line when they want a d-pair with some bite.

Also, if you're like me and sometimes have letters shift around on you a little bit, you should note that there is no "C" in her name and it's pronounced "Jakes."

Claire Thompson

Thompson was our first round draft pick this season. It was also a pick that really fucked up everyone's predictions for the draft. It was generally thought at the time that Minnesota would want to grab Cayla Barnes. Also that it would probably be a Canadian team that went for Thompson as she was part of the Canadian national team that won the World Championship in 2021 and the Olympic Gold in 2022.

My knowledge on her is limited, but from what I do know she's an interesting pick. It was a bit of a gamble by Minnesota because she had taken a year off hockey to study for med school. But from what I've seen from her she was on Team Canada for a reason. A defense player that's also a goal-scoring threat.

She could lead to some really interesting d-pairs this season. Like a hyper offense combo of Jaques and Thomspon? Things could get really spicy there. She could go a long way to giving Minnesota some really interesting ways to utilize their defense this season.

Maggie Flaherty

The best smile on the team. A ray of sunshine. Scored Minnesota's first goal of the playoffs [in game 3!] and stoked the fires to victory. Dances like no one's watching. And a solid defender. She's a delightful human being and will bring you much joy.

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Okay, okay, we can talk about Offense now. Since you INSIST.

Forwards

Kendall Coyne Schofield

Let's start out with our captain and a pivotal figure in the founding of the league. She had recently given birth last season and still managed to lead the team to a championship, so imagine what she'll be able to do now!

She is well known for being fast. She's only 5'2" so between her acceleration and her skating skill, if she slips past the defense she's a hard one to catch. Now a seasoned WoHo veteran she's also capable of being a real play maker. And even though she's small she can fight out a puck from the corners with the best of them.

If I tried to list everything she's done in and for women's hockey we'd be here all day.

She's probably the most serious of the PWHL captains and is the type to speak with her actions more than her words. So you generally won't see her blowing up on social media. She's also my favorite captain to transcribe in interviews because she is incredibly terse.

Taylor Heise

The one, the only, the first ever draft pick in the PWHL! She was out for part of the season for an injury and still managed to be a big goal scorer for Minnesota. When she came back she wasn't playing at her usual level until the playoffs. But if she plays the way she did in the playoffs this season? Oooo, it'll be spicy.

She is currently rocking a knee brace though, but she isn't on the long term injury list? So we'll have to see how she's feeling. Hopefully she avoids further injury this season.

Her talent on the ice in undeniable and she's more than likely a future captain for the team. But trust me, you don't need me to tell you that. Her play will speak for itself when she takes the ice.

What you can't tell from the game footage is that she is one of the most gracious and gregarious members of the team. If you go to any home games this year be on the lookout for her if you head to the autograph table after the game. Even when she isn't on table duty she often comes up to say hi to fans, take pictures, and sign autographs.

Truly just such a friendly and generous person. I have yet to see a fan walk away from her without a big ol' smile on their face.

Also notable for being BFFs with her fellow Frost forward Grace Zumwinkle, who she played with in college.

Grace Zumwinkle

Truly a force of nature.

Heise might get more attention, but don't get it twisted, Zumwinkle is currently the best forward on the team.

Yes, the stats are busted because of Heise's injury. But it's still fact. I don't care. Fight me.

Zummie has the distinction of getting the first hat trick in the PWHL. Which she did in her first game of the season! She was tied with Sarah Nurse for 2nd most goals in the regular season (at 11 goals). She also rightly won the award for rookie of the year. And honestly it wasn't even close. [Emma Maltais fans will disagree here, and I respect their case, she was great too, but they are also wrong. Fight me.]

She was Minnesota's 3rd round draft pick in year one. Darwitz knew that Zum and Heise worked well together and purposefully wanted to get the pair together.

I don't know why, but I feel like a lot of people sleep on Zumwinkle. I rarely hear of her when people are talking about the league powerhouses. But trust me, she's not a player to underestimate.

Her BFF antics with Heise are also a source of great joy and delight to all.

Michela Cava

Cava is an interesting case. She has a laundry list of accolades and championships to her name. She's won the SDHL championship. She's won the ZhHL championship. She's won the PHF championship. And now she's won a PWHL championship too!

She was a solid forward during the regular season. I wouldn't say she really lived up to her full potential, but she was definitely a strong player nevertheless.

But in the playoffs? Oh ho ho! *chef's kiss*

Cava has a bit of a reputation for leaving nothing on the ice when it comes to playoffs. If I'm not mistaken she was actually the playoff MVP for every one of those championships she won before coming to the PWHL? And she went full tilt once again!

Even though Heise ended up winning the Playoff MVP last season Cava tied her for points! [Cava went 4 goals, 4 assists; Heise went 5 goals, 3 assists].

So in a worst case scenario she is a really solid forward. In a best case scenario? She runs over the opposition all season.

Now, as a Frost fan, I'm going to assume that you're at least partially here for the delicious drama. So let me point out to you that last season Cava played on the Frost with her girlfriend Emma Greco. However, this year Greco plays for Boston. Which means any MN v. BOS game will have a little extra spice.

Kelly Pannek

The Frost's other alternate captain.

...I'm sorry...I just looked her up to make sure I had my facts straight and saw something wild and now I need to address it. Apparently she set the state record in high school for quickest hat trick with 3 goals in 22 seconds?? I mean, wtf! That goalie probably still wakes up in a cold sweat some nights from that.

Okay, back on task. Pannek actually played with Lee Stecklein in college for the University of Minnesota [Stecklein was a year ahead of her]. And like Stecklein she has won basically everything there is to win. [This is why her new beer is called "Been There, Won That."]

During last regular season she was 16th in the league in terms of points, so she was definitely in the upper echelon. [for the record Kendall Coyne Schofield was 13th, and Grace Zumwinkle was 7th.]

So definitely expect Pannek to be making things happen this season.

Liz Schepers

Okay, so hear me out.

Yes, Schepers had 0 goals and 3 assists during the regular season. BUT if you want to see what she's capable of just look at the playoffs. She was an absolute menace to Toronto!

In the first 3 goals Minnesota had against them, every single one of them came from a Schepers assist. Another way to say that is that she assisted with every Frost goal of Games 3 and 4. (The team didn't score at all in the first two games, but we won't talk about that)

Who knows what will happen this season. All I'm saying is that if Schepers starts to pop off, I will thoroughly not be surprised.

Also she has an adorable dog named Rookie. So you know, there are multiple reasons to look out for her.

Klára Hymlárová

You'll have to ask someone more familiar with international play knowledge for the scoop here. She was our 3rd round draft pick though and I'm curious to find out what they saw in her. All I know is that she was a top player for the Czech national team. Check out this little article for some more insider knowledge on what she can bring to a team.

I'm dying to see how all these international players are gonna change the play of the game, so I'll be keeping an eye on her and seeing what transpires.

Goalies

Saving the most important position for last: our goalies!

Minnesota was the only team last season to fully embrace a goalie tandem style. Everyone else had their main goalie and tended to only swap them out when they wanted to give them a break. [Except for Ottawa who never wanted to give Maschmeyer a break.]

And this tandem was incredibly effective! So if you too love goalies you're in luck, because you'll get to see both of them on a regular basis. Plus it has the added bonus of making every game a little more exciting by wondering who will be starting that game.

This duo was so effective that Minnesota is the only team this season to put their 3rd goalie on reserve. It's an interesting move to be sure, and yet it does make sense because they are the only team that really knows exactly what they want to do for goalies this season.

But who are these goalies who we have so much trust in?

Nicole Hensley and Maddie Rooney of course!

Hensley was Minnesota's 2nd round draft pick last season, so that should give you a clue of how badly Darwitz wanted her on the team. She's a lover of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. And more importantly one of the U.S. national team's go-to goalie picks for quite a while now.

And I bet you're wondering, has she won a gold medal? Yes! She has. But interestingly enough when she won it in 2018 and she wasn't the starting goalie that year (although she did shutout Russia). Who was the starting goalie that year?

Maddie Rooney!

If you want to get a sense of just how stacked the PWHL's goalie lineups are consider this: Rooney wasn't drafted at all! Minnesota invited her to training camp and then signed her there. A friggin' gold medal-level goalie went undrafted. I mean, talk about an epic training camp pickup.

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There are plenty more players on the team, but these are the ones that I think are the most notable / just some of my favorites. This is probably riddled with typos and mistakes, but whatever! I'm really tired and need to get to bed. If I missed anyone's favorite, be sure to let us know. As well as giving us the run down of what makes them so cool. ;)

[roseamoungstthethorns]

1. Disabled people should have every right to all the options able people have. Telling us to choose a different store is rude and dehumanising.

2. My town littreally only has 1 store. It is self check out

3. In my general area there are a lot of stores that are self checknout only. Including stores like ikea. So anytime I want to shop at ikea for something I need I have to bring someone along to help me. Before ikea did this I could shop there on my own. Imagine being a grown adult and only able to shop when you have aid because the store is too cheap to have even just 1 attened register.

4. I am preaching about disability as that is one of the things I do on this blog. I am disabled and I am bringing to light many issues disabled people face. Your inability to listen to a disabled person shows you don't care. I have no idea of your disability status but disabled people can still be ablist. Either way you are being ablest.

5. The world is not America. [Yes I used an example from when I was at walmart in Florida but I'm not in America. This is a global issues not an American one. When the security guard helped me check out at the walmart with only self checkout I first didn't know it was only self checkout and secondly it was the only store avaible to me at that time]

But to go into the ada point if we must only focus on america

Guess what! The usa is very bad at following ada compliance! And even if they did I'm sorry those rules are still.not accessible to everyone. Sure it'd be helpful if more self checkouts follow those rules, but some of us are still going to need a cashier.

Not to mention there is usually only 1 accessible kiosk and half the time it's closed off (ikea looking at you especially. I still need help with the ikea accessible one, but i need less help with that one)

6. No you didn't adress the cash issue if there is no manned register there is no way to pay in cash

7. I promise you I am not entitled I am asking everyone to include disabled people in the world and for us to have same access to things as able people.

You have no idea how much of a struggle my life is. It gets worse and worse because the world is becoming more and more ablist. Self checkouts is just one out of many issues.

I promise you I'm always super nice to staff and they actually enjoy when I come to the store. I never ask for any help I don't really need. I avoid buying from the top shelves as much as possible because I feel bad having to ask an employee come to the isle to hand it to me, but sometimes the only option is the top shelf.

Like I said originally all staff should be treated with respect, but it goes both ways

It's been a bit since I posted but I saw this on Facebook. And it struck a nerve considering the page that posted it.

This was my answer:

Funny almost every single person agreeing with this are boomers. One person said this is so the customer has to put up with more crap in the store. Oh, but it's OK for cashiers to put up with your crap cause you're too lazy to walk down 10 ft to the next open register? "There's no open registers anywhere! Forcing me to work for you, wHeRe'S mY w-2?!" There's a register here, here, and there. But you complain because the closest ones to your car are self-checkouts. So you use them then hold the poor host hostage to your verbal abuse or force them to act as a cashier for you, drawing their attention away from other customers who may legitimately their assistance for more than just scanning their items for some fat lazy ass who starts huffing at the simple action of bagging their own shit. So yeah when Walmart sees that more transactions are going through their self-checkouts than actual registers, Walmart doesn't see the purpose in maintaining unused registers and replaces them with more self-checkouts. You want stores to keep cash registers? Treat your cashiers with respect so that they won't fucking rage quit because some Karen with an expired coupon they printed off their computer three months ago decided to call corporate and complain about them for the 5th time that week. If you can't treat cashiers as people don't get mad when you can't find them working their jobs. Or shop from Amazon and fuck off.

- Sincerely all retail workers.

[celestial-hieroglyph]

knew i had to edit this when i saw this template on pinterest

[softquietsteadylove]

Hello love, how are you doing? 🩷🤍

I saw this meme today and i can only think of thenamesh

I feel like Thena would try to set up a romantic dinner for her husband, with candels and flowers, and she would also try to cook, she wants to make a perfect dinner for her perfect husband.

But when Gil arrives to the aparment it smells like burned food, the smoke detector is going off, Thena is on a chair trying to turn it off and the kitchen is a mess.

Gil checked his phone yet again. Thena had told him that she wanted to try being the one to take care of their anniversary this year. Exactly by what means, he didn't know, but she wanted to surprise him, and he thought it was sweet.

According to her, she had even left work early to set things up so that he could come home to things already in motion. He had to admit he was excited, if maybe cautious.

Things like this hadn't always worked in his wife's favour. Not for lack of trying, she did want to be the romantic one from time to time--spoil him with gestures and sweet words. But cooking wasn't her strength, she wasn't much of a poet, and sometimes she got herself more worked up than anything.

He always tried to tell her that she spoiled him when she agreed to marry him. Every little affection she gave and allowed was a gesture. And he didn't need her to do anything big or romantic to know that she loved him.

Thena wasn't one for words, but she did value loyalty and actions reflecting who a person was. That was what made them such a good team.

Gil got off the elevator. The first thing he noticed was the smokey smell in the air. And they didn't live in a building that allowed smoking. He picked up his pace a little.

The next thing that hit him was the sound of the smoke alarm. He picked up his pace even more. He had a bad feeling about this, and the further down the hall he got, the worse it set in.

He was right in his feeling, arriving at the door to their apartment and knowing the alarm was coning from inside. He fumbled with his keys in his rush to get inside. Without a thought to denting the wall behind it, he threw the door open, "Thena!"

There his wife was, in all her glory. She had flour all over her, something on her cheek and her sleeves. She was standing on one of the dining chairs trying to fan the smoke alarm with a towel that looked suspiciously charred on the corners. All the windows were open, but the oven was simply giving off too much noxious gas.

Thena looked up as he burst in. She attempted to smile, "hey...honey."

He didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry. On the one hand, his wife was safe, and that was all that truly mattered. But he couldn't completely drown out the cacophonous background surrounding them. The kitchen was a disaster, he could see candles and another possible fire hazard on the table--a vase of flowers that seemed a little sparse on one side. He didn't even want to imagine what was actually cooking in the oven.

Thena took his silence for condemnation. She pinched her lips closed, climbing down from the chair now that the smoke alarm was silent again. She wrung the ruined dishtowel in her hands. "I'm so sorry, Gil."

He just stared as she slinked over to him, her delicate shoulders bunched up tight.

"I really wanted to do something special for you," she admitted in a miserably small voice. Her throat tightened. "I studied this recipe, and I was going to have it ready when you got home, and I picked up flowers, and-"

He shook his head, pulling her into his arms at the first sign of tears. Thena wasn't much of a crier, but he knew that when it did happen, there was truly a huge amount of feelings stuck inside of her. He rubbed her back, "hey, hey, sh, it's okay."

"But-" she mumbled, smothered by the softness of his sweater. "You're always-"

"Sweetheart, I love that you tried to put on a big, romantic anniversary dinner," he chuckled, kissing her forehead. She pulled her head up to pout at him, unsatisfied with his lacklustre comforting. He smiled at her, though. "You really went all out!"

She sighed heavily, letting him turn her in his arms so they could truly assess the damage. "There's something of a pot roast in the oven."

"Pot roast, huh?" he mused aloud for the sake of it. He was already running through the recipe, wondering what on earth could have possibly tripped her up so much as to cause this amount of damage.

"I also attempted yorkshire puddings," she lamented, tilting her head up at him behind her. "I know how you love them."

He did love them--he had grown a fondness for a lot of English recipes, against all odds. And he could see how the scorching hot oil - as required for good, proper puddings - could have gone up in smoke.

"I'm sorry," she sighed again, going back to burying herself in his chest. "This isn't the anniversary surprise I intended."

He kissed the top of her head again, swaying them with his arms around her. "Are you kidding? You made pot roast and homemade puds?--with your track record?"

She gave his side a pinch, which was a good sign.

"This is amazing," he rested his cheek on her hair. Thena hated cooking of any kind, and not just because she was bad at it, and she wasn't bad at it just because she hated it. But despite that, she had tackled what even seasoned home cooks dreaded, just for him.

She sniffled away the last of her self pity, pushing at him. "You should go and rest. You've had a long day. Let me clean up my mess."

"Nice try," he chuckled, as if his teeny-tiny wife was going to be able to push him anywhere. Thena was stronger than she looked, sure, but he was stronger. He captured her around the waist again. "We're gonna get this cleaned up together. Then we're gonna get some fresh clothes on, and you can find us a place that makes the second-best yorkshire puddings in town."

"Second best?" she challenged.

He scratched the base of her spine in the way that made her shiver. "After mine, obviously."

"Obviously," she murmured as he lifted her off her feet just enough to walk them over to the sink. "You don't have to help me."

"For better or worse, sweetie," he reminded her as he bent to take a look at just what had happened in his precious oven. He used the dishtowel - singed as it was - and an oven mitt to retrieve her labours of love.

All things considered, the pot roast looked pretty good, although maybe the vegetables surrounding it were a little black on the edges. And to his surprise, despite the black stains of inflamed oil all along the bottom of the oven, the puddings did actually puff. He plucked at one with his fingers, and it wasn't stuck in the least.

"Gil?"

He even managed to pop it into his mouth. "Y'know, I've had worse."

"You're not serious," she droned. Although, when he offered her one, even she couldn't deny that the colour and shape of it wasn't grotesque. She sniffed it.

"So, you made a smoked pot roast," he shrugged, chomping on another pudding. "It's pretty good, babe."

She took a more critical bite of it, staring him down the whole time, looking for any indication that he was lying to spare her feelings. But she conceded her pleasant surprise as she chewed. "it's not awful."

"I think it was just the oil," he shrugged. If she had used olive oil, which he was guessing she did, it would have started smoking immediately, and it did explain the slight bitterness to the outside of them. But that aside, they really weren't bad little pastries. He took another one, "I'd say you did a bang up job!"

She rolled her eyes at him, as she always did when he tried to put on some form of a bad cockney accent. But she smiled as she swiped away some crumbs from his lips. "Thank you, love."

He leaned in, capturing her lips, sharing in the taste of bitter olive oil and yorkshire pudding dough. "I should be thanking you. This is one hell of a surprise."

"Hm," she pulled away, looking from the kitchen to the dining room table, still set, although at least the candles were extinguished. "I wouldn't say it was positive."

"Hey," he nudged her, asking for another kiss (which she granted). He touched his forehead to hers. "You're supposed to say 'happy anniversary, Gil, I love you too'."

Thena laughed, which completely drowned out the rest of the stress of the mess they had to clean and anything that could come out of the rest of the night. Her hands found their home on his chest as he kissed down her temple to her cheek, "happy anniversary, darling."

"That's more like it," he grinned, finally arriving at the angle of her jaw and the curve of her neck. She pushed at him again before he could distract them both from the task at hand. He pouted at her.

"Mess," she ordered, with her hand trailing lovingly over his arm. "Then food, then fun."

His eyes sparked, "fun?"

His blonde fox of a wife gave him a look that was both sly and coquettish as she unwrapped his apron from around her. "This was not the only component I had in mind for you. And it would be truly impossible to light the other part aflame."

"I dunno, I feel pretty hot under the collar," he chuckled as he eagerly started running the tap. He would scrub the oven out properly this weekend. For now, he had a lovely evening to spend with his wife.

[lem-argentum]

i once saw someone contrast miko.fuu by claiming that f.uuta’s individualistic while mi.koto is not, but i would argue that miko is the one who puts himself first in his mind in most situations…….??? ?

[paper-beats-writers-block]

Okay listen I am considering myself veteran Simon Snow fandom enough (there are DEF people that have been here longer) but I will take a crack at all of these. Apologies for length of post in advance haha.

NEED human blood, no. Is it better for them, definitely. There have been so so many discussions about Baz in relation to his vampirism, but here are the highlights. as we see in wayward son, lamb looks like the perfect bill of health; he's strong, sharp, and completely unafraid of what he is. And I think a huge part of this is because he drinks human blood. His color is better. His senses are sharper. He doesn't feel fatigued all the time like the books allude that Baz does. And this is probably because human blood has a lot more of the nutrients that they need. Because human blood is the closest thing to "their own" blood that vampires will ever get. Yeah sure baz can drink as many rats and rabbits and cats as he wants to, but the genetic makeup of the animals' blooc doesn't come close to a humans. (something I love about the books is the way vampirism is approached in much more of a scientific way than a magickal way) (here's another post I made about it a while ago) (And here's a fandom discussion on why baz's skin is so pale when he's supposed to be Egyptian/Italian. If you pick one of the two to read, PLEASE let it be this one)

It all depends on the vampire I think. Because I think the content of human blood is much better for the vampire because it supplements them better, I think that once most vampires try human blood for the first time there's a much lesser chance of them going back. Because another thing with the scenes with Lamb is that "if you didn't enjoy being turned then they weren't doing it right". I think a lot of baz's "morality" comes from his own prejudices against vampires. We know that Baz's vampirism is an allegory for his queerness, and just like he has internalized homophobia towards himself that he's working on, there's a lot of internalized "I hate vampires" that's going on as well. If you want me to go into more detail about this I will, just ask!

Same thing with any minority. Yes they can make a moral choice. But no that doesn't mean that mages are going to come to terms with it. Agatha was (thought she was, pick your poison) in love with Baz for years. She was still terrified that he was a vampire in Carry On. Fiona has a vampire for a nephew and a fiance, and last time I checked she was still a vampire hunter. So there's a lot lot lot of systematic injustice that's happening with vampires in the books. (and vampires aren't the only magickal creature that this is happening with. until the mage came along, only humans could attend Watford. And even then, it was only humans that could pass the entrance exam) (disclaimer. I hate the mage as much as the next bestie. however, he did begin to dismantle the rampant classicism at watford, and I will l give him half a point for that)

Baz is going to take a long as fuck time to come to terms with it. it took him over a year to realize that he deserved better from simon than Simon's flippancy and nonchalance about their relationship. and then he snapped and broke up with him, and only agreed to try again when Simon promised that he would try. This is HUUUUGE for both of them. But one of the reasons I was so disappointed that Lamb was a villain in the second book is because he was the closest thing to a mentor that Baz ever had. Lamb showed baz that being a vampire didn't mean he was an inhuman demonic being. all it meant was just. he was a being. A being that had sharp teeth, super speed and strength, and needed blood to survive yeah. But there was nothing inherently demonic and evil about the fact that he was a vampire. the evilness came from the choices he made (and this goes for everyone). This is especially prevalent in the scene where Lamb teaches and supports baz through eating without his fangs coming out. and baz is THRILLED when he can finally do it, because being able to eat without his fangs makes him feel like less of an animal. And he's still very very hung up on "no simon I will NOT drink your blood" because he's afraid to hurt him and because he's convinced drinking human blood will, once again, make him feel like a predator instead of a person. So it's going to take him years, if not decades. And I don't have a guess how it will happen for sure (or if it even happens at all) but I'm confident in answering that he is not content with his vampirism where we leave off in Snow for Christmas.

My guess there is no. See "magickal classicism". It's a headcanon of a lot of folks around here that Baz goes back to teach at watford, and while we don't know if that is the direction canon will go or not, definitely in this case no. It takes a lot of time for a group so tightly knit as the word of mages to undo centuries of prejudices, and especially one as deeply rooted as a fear of vampires. Baz can say "no I only drink rats I promise" and he'll still get more backlash than Mitali gave the mage. The people that are most important to him know who and what he is, and right now that is the safest option for him. If vampire hatred does get abolished in the world of mages then I would say "yeah there's a pretty good chance that he will!" But I just don't see that in the cards right now, especially since his vampirism is still a part of him that he holds a lot of internal hate for himself.

I actually wrote a teeny essay on this myself! (don't let essay scare you, its written in mostly the same casual haha format as the rest of this post) but here is the link for that post!! (read this part after you've read the rest of that post: I think the bubble popping was his magickal resistance, because after Smith tries to cast his dumbass spell on simon, bro is completely immune to magic. And I think that's what the pop was. some people still speculate that he;s gonna get his magic back and I'm like "no sister that shit is way gone. and our boy is happier without it so let the poor sod be")

the immune to spells thing is one that I was never sure of. sitting here thinking about it now, I would have to say that my best guess here is that. Sooooooo many people tried to fuck with his already extremely unstable magic as it is, and the pop he felt with smith was it finally just. completely giving up. The humdrum took it all away in the first place, and he has absolutely no magic left (remember from the magic post I wrote it began with simon freely sending his magic into the humdrum, and ended with the humdrum sucking the rest of his magic out of him.) so I think the "pop" was just. one too many people tried to mess with it and the spell brought the Nothing to the surface, the Nothing literally didn't have anything else to materialize as, so the Nothing spread over his entire body and became sort of like his own personal humdrum that was completely immune to magic instead of sucking it away. If that was completely nonsensical I am sorry.

I do not think the wings will ever ever go away. and I'm actually going to let adamarks take this one, because they have an AMAZING meta on Simon's wings written before AWTWB came out. Link to that one is here. (this one is so important to me and genuinely changed the way I read the books. so.)

It's possible?? Shepard's plot and narrative purpose is explained beautifully in another adamarks meta that I will also link here. But To expand upon this meta further, I think he's also a great way of tackling Penelope's internalized magickal classicism because there are so SO many times throughout WS and AWTWB that some of her thoughts and dialogue are blatantly looking down on Shep because he's not magickal. now obviously she starts to attack some of that when she starts dating him. But there's a long way to go there just like there's a long way to go with Baz and his vampirism. But I think Shep is going to be the link there, because he's going to continue to challenge the way that she thinks, and in turn, Penny will take those challenges into whatever her magickal future had in store for her. The fresh perspective that she's learning from Shepard is going to help the entire world of mages in the long run. (and also. Having Shep around is going to do WONDERS for simon. because he's going to give simon someone to talk to about being Normal. and he's going to keep Simon communicating and getting practiced at communicating).

Nah I don't think she's gonna get in trouble. She probably (definitely) should. But Mitali is the current "stand in mage" for lack of better terminology, and the stern "Don't You Boys Try And Pull Something Like That Again Do You Hear Me" look that she gives Simon and BAz in her office when they go to use the library in AWTWB is prob going to be the extent of the discussion there because Mitali had so much going on with the pop up greatest mages, and then the gang had to swoop in and save everyone again, so I'm guessing its going to be heroically dusted under the rug until everyone gets drunk and Christmas and then someone will hold over her head as everyone laughs.

Rainbow is a huge proponent for fanfic!!! the mother of the simon snow series is fangirl, literally about a girl that writes simon and baz fanfic!!! So I guess yeah its possible that she left it kind of up to interpretation for fic writers to go nuts with. She did say that Baz is her favorite character she's ever created, so it's also possible that she's leaving it for another book?? But personally, I don't think that's the case (will I be THRILLED if book four is announced HELL YEAH!!!!! but I don't think it's in the cards). I believe she's said before that she didn't want to be pigeonholed into just writing simon and baz, especially when she has soooooo many other beautiful love stories that she has already told and that she's getting ready to tell.

haha I told you this would get long and would you look at that I was really really right 💀 so If you have follow up questions or additional questions that you would like me to try and answer I can certainly do my best!! and also please understand that these are all just. my personal takes on the series (and/or takes that I agree with since not all of them are mine) <3 so I hope this answered at least part of one of the list that you left!!!!!

Questions I still have after Any Way the Wind Blows:

Do vampires really need human blood? How much?

Are there other moral vampires? (Besides Nico)

If vampires can make a moral choice, is it amoral to kill them? How are the mages going to come to terms with this?

How is Baz going to come to terms with it?

Will Baz ever "come out" as a moral vampire?

What THE HECK is up with Simon's magic? He felt a "bubble popping" when Smith cast the spell, implying THERE WAS MAGIC IN HIM. will it come back?

And why is he immune to spells now?

Will he cut his wings off?

What will Shepard be to the world of mages? A liaison to other magical beings?

Is Penelope ever going to get into a heap of trouble for her magical fraud spree?

The ending is satisfying, but I feel like these books are set up for fanfiction. Or a fourth installment.

[sungwoonha]

i’m

[justgivemeabookplease]

Shrek 2, while a cinematic masterpiece, is also an interesting look at queerness and comp het.

Fiona is married so it's time to reunite with her parents. But instead of marrying a prince, she's married to an ogre. Not just that, but she's also an ogre. (Yes everyone knew she would sometimes be an ogre but that was when she was a child, she didn't know she would be an ogre for the rest of her life, and besides once she met the right prince she would stop being an ogre. She was supposed to stop being an ogre.)

But okay they're both ogres. We can still ask about when they'll have children because even if they're ogres they can still have kids, right? That's what married princes and princesses do so naturally that's what everyone does. Even if ogres might not be great parents (I've heard that ogres eat their young, is that something you people do?) it's still something that should be discussed.

And okay you can stay in Fiona's childhood bedroom filled with all the reminders that hey, everyone thought she was just a princess and princesses marry princes. Her toys left out from the last time she played with them. The prince slays the ogre. The princess offers a token of gratitude for slaying the ogre. Fiona wrote Mrs. Fiona Charming a million times in her diary because what else was she supposed to grow up to be?

And Harold you have to fix this, your country can't be ruled by ogres. You were unfit to rule when you were a frog but I changed you, I made you better, I made you a prince. You know how this works. Think of your daughter's safety.

Shrek goes to the Fairy Godmother and oh honey, ogres don't live happily ever after. It's just not done. It hasn't happened in all of fairy tale history. You have to change the both of you to be happy. You have to present as a prince and a princess. It will be better. You'll fit in better that way. You'll be accepted that way.

[snekdood]

ik we talk about "karma" in the sense of "whatever you do will come back to bite you", but in a more realistic sense it just means action. every action has a reaction, etc. which is why its incorrect to blame your god/gods for the way you're mistreated in life bc 1. everyone has free-will and 2. they dont have control over the wheel of karma (at least not in hinduism), so when you're mistreated, you shouldn't ask "what have I done to accrue karma in the form of mistreatment" you should ask "why do these people suck so much", lol. it's not your god/gods punishing you, its other people exercising their free will and choosing to use it in a way that makes them suck as human beings 🤷 dont let people get off the hook by blaming the gods or some sort of nebulous "karma" you cant pin down, blame the people for being pieces of shits, dont let them think they're not actors in this and are just dutifully mistreating you on behalf of the laws of karma, bc they aren't, thats not how karma fucking works.

[cicerfics]

#see also: james bond#cicer + bishy will make better tagged stories#i’m here to give them a nudge (via @foxsoulcourt)

[pomefioredove]

the overblots (+ rook + lillia? if thats okay) reactions to you calling them your husband…………..

saw the words lilia and husband in the same ask and got so excited I blacked out

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ calling them your husband

type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, jamil, vil, rook, idia, malleus, lilia additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, established relationship

Riddle "we're not married" Rosehearts, everyone. and he says it so matter-of-factly too! like, of course, you know that. you were just trying to be sweet and romantic. he figures it out eventually, though (the realization hits him like a truck two hours later, and he apologizes with roses and a slice of tart. Ace makes fun of him for weeks)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Leona is so smug about it actually. unlike Riddle, he's socially aware enough to know that you don't mean it literally. he's like, "damn right I am" and will defo make you say it again. especially in front of the other housewardens. and his family, and random people on the street (he likes it)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

I think Azul would try to actually marry you after that. he is reading way too much into it. I mean, you basically just said you love him and belong to each other in the most intimate and loving way and want to be together forever!!!! (he's already thinking about your wedding rings)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

"your boyfriend 😑" THANKS JAMIL. it's not that he doesn't understand what you mean, it's just that he's having NONE of that. thinking about the future scares him he's just a realist!!! and then he fucks up and calls you his spouse without thinking one time... you never let him forget it

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Vil likes it. he's just sitting there all smug like "😌 yes that's me" definitely also calls you his spouse when you're alone. to him, it's just a symbol of your commitment and a promise of a loving future together. very cute very sweet 10/10

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Rook lights up like a kid on Christmas morning the first time you say it. it's just so!!!! he thinks about it for the rest of the week, and absolutely starts referring to you as his spouse. will sign all of his love notes with "your husband" from then on

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Idia is going THROUGH it. tells you you're being cringe while his face and hair are cherry red (which means he likes it!) definitely going to think about it while in bed staring at the ceiling for months. Ortho overhears and starts calling you his sibling-in-law :)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Malleus. MALLEUS. someone save this poor man. he's unwell. pacing around his room all night, trying to figure out what you meant by that. are you trying to tell him you want him to propose?? you want to marry him?? right now right this second-

you'll have to tell him you meant it as a term of endearment, which both relaxes and disappoints him (say it again, please please pl-)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Lilia doesn't really have a reaction. not on the surface, anyway. he just goes on with the conversation (he is fighting demons in his head rn). he decides he likes it, though, and he'll introduce you to everyone as his spouse from then on

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC Recount Your Kids, Batman

[A loose continuation to this post]

Talia doesn't visit the Wayne manor. At least not regularly nor officially. All the batkids and Batman know she comes sometimes, just to check up on Damian and maybe bother Bruce from time to time, but this is the first time she has ever shown up to a dinner.

And, as they all take their seats, she gives Damian a long curios glance. Then, she looks to Bruce.

"Is that everyone?" She asks, easy and lighthearted. One might think she is simply not acquainted with the number of Wayne children or that she is teasing Bruce on the sheer amount of them. But Damian is looking down to his plate, and Tim knows for sure Talia keeps up with Wayne's head count, and Dick is fairly certain Talia would never tease Bruce, at least not so subtly.

It could have been some sort of a hint at Jason. If he was not here, that is. But he is, for once, so this is really all the family at one table.

"Yes?" Dick tries, looking around the table just to make sure. Steph and Babs are not here today, but that's definitely not what Talia could have meant. Bruce also looks just a little confused, which is a nice change of pace since he looked guarded and on edge from the very moment Talia showed up.

The woman hums, her eyes studying Damian. The youngest bat keeps his gaze down on his empty plate. No one really understands what's going on, but they all feel like there's something important and heavy hanging in the air.

Then, Talia stands up and turns to Alfred, "We will be dining later. It has come to my attention that kids are a lot more secretive than I thought," she explains cryptically and smiles at Bruce, "Beloved, will you come with me to the training grounds? I have something to show you."

Bruce doesn't move for a long moment, and Talia's smile becomes almost gentle, "It's about your son."

At least that makes the man move.

When they get down to the Cave - since Talia insisted this was not a matter that could be resolved in the manor's training room - it's not only her, Bruce, and the little bat there, of course. The whole family was way too intrigued, and some were even alarmed.

The most alarming part, though, was the fact that Damian had been uncharacteristically quiet on their way down. Yet, when Dick looked to Cass, she just shook her head slightly. The boy was not worried. To Cass, he looked almost resigned, if a bit displeased.

"Your sword, Damian," Talia commands, and the boy presses his lips into a thin line.

"This is not necessary, Mother."

"It is," the woman looks amused, but there's an underlying layer of concern to her tone.

"...Yes, Mother," Damian nods his head on what feels like surrender and takes his katana. Not the training one, the real blade. Bruce makes a soft, alarmed grunt, but Talia waves him off.

"Not to worry, Beloved. I will not harm our brethren."

She doesn't take a stance, nor does she pick out a weapon, simply lunges for Damian as soon as they are both on the mats. Two daggers seem to appear in her hands out of nothing, and, contrary to her words, her aim is towards Damian's neck. The boy blocks, jumps away, and blocks another attack.

Tim steps closer, "You can't just-"

"Step away, Drake," It's the first time Damian has spoken to them since they've sat down for dinner. His voice is tense, but not derisive. If anything, it sounds a bit tired.

Talia lunges for him again, faster, meaner. Metal clings against metal.

"You understand this can not keep going, my child," she tells the boy, startlingly gentle on the contrary to her definitely dangerous strikes.

Damian doesn't answer.

The rest of Batfam are forced to simply watch the encounter: Damian is mostly on defense as Talia goes for him, harder and harder with every hit. Until, without any warning, the woman strikes for Damian's arm, making him drop his katana, and-

A few things happen at once.

Talia lunges for Damian's throat. Bruce jumps onto the mats so fast that he almost trips. Tim yelps.

But Talia's blade doesn't strike.

A figure of another child, eerily similar to Damian and wearing the League of Assassins uniform, is standing in front of the littlest bat, two crystal clear blades in his hands, blocking the dagger.

Bruce halts midstep. The rest of the family holds their breath.

But Talia simply smiles and drops her daggers, backing away and looking at the boy between her and Damian with a fond gaze.

"Danyal," she greets, and the boy huffs, lowering his weapons. He doesn't drop them - they simply dissipate in the air, turning into tiny snowflakes.

"Mother," he greets back begrudgingly, and his voice is the exact replica of Damian's. A clone? No, because Damian reacts to him nothing like he had to the clones, simply clicking his tongue and rolling his eyes.

"You could have simply asked, Mother," he comments, taking a step forward and stading near the other boy. Danyal. When standing side by side, they look nearly identical - same facial features, same posture, same hair, even if Damian's is a little more tame.

But Danyal's eyes are just a few hues off. Still green but lighter than Damian's.

"I assumed if you have spent years living here and never bothered to mention your brother, I would need a little more than asking, my love," Talia doesn't laugh, but it sounds like she wants to. Both boys roll their eyes, perfectly in sync.

Hold the fuck up, brother?

"Huh. I thought you died," Jason mentions offhandedly, and the whole family whips their heads to him. Yet, before any of them speak, it's Danyal who answers.

"I mean, I did? Kinda?" He waves his hand in the air and shrugs, and he acts so unlike Damian while also simultaneously having his face, that it makes Tim shiver a little.

"You-" Bruce starts, seeming to finally find his voice, but the boy cuts him off.

"I'm not actually yours," he snorts at Bruce's facial expression, "Yeah, I know I look like I am. Blame the ghost sewers, Chronos, and my stupid ass for making decisions while not being fully awake."

There is so much to unpack in that sentence that no one has the barest of ideas on where to start.

Damian curves his lips down in a sneer.

"The longer you stay there staring, the colder the dinner will be when we return," he reminds them, and Danyal suddenly perks up.

"Dinner? Can I join? It's been ages since I've had anything home cooked," he smiles, like there's some kind of an inside joke in that sentence. Damian rolls his eyes.

"The food doesn't come alive in this household, Danyal."

"Bummer," the boy looks a bit disappointed, but not too much. "And it's Danny, for the thousandth time."

Talia picks up her daggers, hiding them somewhere in her clothes in an unnoticeable motion. Then, she gives Bruce a small, if a bit sly, smile.

"You can not call it 'family dinner' if not all your family is there."

[fezwearingjellybananas]

It was a close call after a bad morning but guess what I did yesterday