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constellationcrowned · 1 month ago

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((Honestly I'm still hoping to see the Tigla-Dera scenes with Kariom in them rather than Roui being his memory stand in.))

#;;ooc: mun muttering #for a variety of reasons obviously #also I yearn for Kariom colored half portraits (like the one's attached to dialogue boxes #and not just because they're easier to frame for icons lol #ok back to the og post; it'd really help with lore framing!! it would definitely be different and intriguing and---#....also yes.... cutscenes.#also the scene is super interesting bc if it's Kariom's pov I bet he saw Milosh rather than a sahash he didn't know but still resembled him #my last tag borked apparently; I'm talking about the black and white cutscene that leads to the Slough section #because *Milosh* being taken away by goblins into the Slough is equally symbolic as it when happening to Kariom #....ok now I have to spoiler tag bc I'm getting way too into this #the crown of leaves spoilers #the crown of leaves chapter 1 act 3 spoilers

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queerbauten · 2 months ago

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the “missing the point” meme except it’s for the Interstella 5555 rerelease, and the point being missed is “of course the notoriously shambolic anime industry is using AI to upscale a film; Daft Punk were almost certainly unaware (or, at the very least, unable to do anything about it); none of this would be surprising if you were paying attention to the actual issues with AI and labour” in favour of “I can’t believe Daft Punk would use AI :(“

#Daft Punk #Interstella 5555 #discourse of the fandom variety #yes obviously the (alleged) use of AI in restoring the film is bad for multiple reasons #but people have *got* to stop acting like Daft Punk themselves used the AI #when realistically I wouldn’t be surprised if they weren’t made aware of it at all #(and tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t know the obvious-to-us signs of AI use)#TL:DR: you should be getting angry about the exploitation of labour in the anime industry #not blaming DaPu for something they—again—might not have known about #text heavy

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serpentface · 1 month ago

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What's the Wardi cultural take on Akoshos sleeping with/partnering with/marrying other Akoshos?

It's not highly regulated to a degree that there are overwhelming cultural norms about it. There's a lot of societal focus on akoshos being theoretically suitable sexual partners for both men and women due to being dual-gendered, but not to an extent that relationships with One Another are stigmatized.

They also largely get to escape from the most severe concerns about penetrator/penetrated power dynamics because they're not regarded as Men (they're regarded as dual-gendered, and they're a female social class on every practical level), there's no status of manhood to Lose by receiving sexual penetration. The only real thing you see in that department is people assuming that one acts as 'the man' and one acts as 'the woman', but this is largely due to preoccupation with a notion of sex being Penetration With A Penis (and that Penetration With A Penis means that one person is in a Man's Role and one person is in a Woman's Role). But this will not be regarded as unnatural as in same-gender male relations, akoshos will Have to take up a position in this sexual dichotomy if they want to have Real Sex (Penetration With A Penis) with each other, and this is not unnatural and doesn't involve gaining or losing status since they are simultaneously male and female, not men.

So like you might see individual culture critics finding stuff to nitpick about it as their annoyance of the week or a singular Guy here or there who thinks it's weird, but this isn't a widespread norm. The vast majority of people don't give a shit about akoshos having sex with each other. The worst thing you're likely to experience Solely by virtue of being in an akoshos-akoshos relationship is someone asking you (probably with genuine curiosity) which one does the man stuff and which one does the woman stuff.

Akoshos also don't experience Hard expectations for marriage (though there are societal pressures that make marriage an attractive safety net all the same, ESPECIALLY marriage to a man) so unofficial life-partnerships between akoshos are pretty much the Only same gender partnerships between unwed people that are going to go unquestioned. ((Sworn brotherhood is technically a same gender life partnership for men that is Functionally similar to marriage (in that it's a kin-making practice between unrelated adults), but the tradition is Built upon the assumption that both parties will be married to women and that a primary goal of this kinship is to provide security for both parties' wives and children)). Marriage obligations in general are more lax in the economically secure but not Wealthy lower mercantile classes (as obligations to support and perpetuate one's family are universal, but these obligations can be filled simply by having at least One son who can get hitched, and marriages in the lower classes have no political functions and therefore there's less reason to ensure All your children are wed (there's still incentives like dowry, but this is not desperately needed when a family is economically secure)). So akoshos in this class group tend to have a Lot more freedom in terms of their life arrangements and chosen partners (though still experience the limiting frameworks of structural misogyny in other capacities).

The only thing that is out of the picture is akoshos/akoshos marriage. Marriage in this society has a predominantly reproductive function, the concept of reproductively non-viable marriages is generally considered absurd. This is not JUST this culture's form of homophobia, as marriage is a very practical arrangement at its core - both in a reproductive capacity and as bedrock for the patriarchal blood-kinship family system that forms the core social unit. The idea of same gender marriage isn't just absurd because 'ewwww weird' it's like, that Cannot work within this system, it Cannot fill core functions of what a marriage intends to do here, the ways on which marriage and kinship are BUILT makes same gender marriage practically (rather than just socially) untenable.

The sole exception to the 'marriage = reproductively viable" rule is that akoshos can be married to men (which in practice is almost always as a remarriage after a man has secured At Least an heir). This has a Little bit of internal logic here in that they perform predominantly female social roles (thus are suited to being a wife, even if they can't bear children) (and also on practical levels of them having the same legal status as women) but it's really more of a 'this is just how it's always been' kind of thing. A lot of the older pre-Wardi identity dual-gender roles that got mashed together under the 'akoshos' name would have involved marriage to a man as a second wife/concubine, in addition to his primary wife who would bear his children. Men potentially having multiple spouses has not been retained as a cultural practice, but the notion that an akoshos Can be a wife to a man has survived into modern day legal and doctrinal practices around marriage.

So like this being said, marriage as it is legally defined is only between a man and a woman, a man and an akoshos, or a woman and an akoshos. In practice the latter two are comparatively VERY rare- a man/akoshos marriage cannot provide children (though an akoshos can practically fulfill all other obligations and duties of a wife), a woman/akoshos marriage Can provide children (and while akoshos cannot function as a male heir, these children Will take their akoshos-parent's family name (though the wife retains her father's family name)), but akoshos are legally grouped with women in terms of rights and privileges (including being permanently under legal domain of their father unless they have been legally handed off to a male husband) and Cannot provide hard power patriarchal support that this family system is built upon and therefore depends upon, which makes these marriages socio-economically insecure. They can obviously still be a good partner and parent, but this is not the same as having the Legal hard power of a patriarch.

Akoshos marrying each other would be reproductively and socially nonviable, and is treated as a similarly absurd concept to a man marrying a man or a woman marrying a woman. It's just not a part of the marriage and kinship framework, it's not a thing that you can Do.

#Akoshos are also probably like.... 1-2% of the population. Like its an Accepted gendered space but not a large one so it's less #'managed' in a lot of senses #It's actually kind of hard to 'access' the akoshos space to begin with. Like parents look for Signs In Early Childhood and most #akoshos are typically assigned their gender early.#If you don't manage to access this space there's a good chance of being Stuck as a man with any deviance from your expected #gender roles being the HIGHLY unaccepted 'male effeminacy' which is a VERY different concept than (though obviously has tensions With)#being akoshos. A lot of akoshos self-label as adults after losing support from their families in part for being '''effeminate men'''#(this is also kind of the only instance in which gender self-identification occurs on a basis that will be Broadly accepted. Though #this happens in the context of already being detached from one's familial support network and people not knowing you self-assigned)#There are also certainly Some cases where akoshos self-identify as adults and this is accepted by their fathers. For a variety #of reasons but unfortunately often it's going to be like-#'we must have missed something but whatever. glad our kid is actually supposed to be this way and isn't just effeminate'#Also much less likely to be accepted if they're an expected male heir without brothers to take up the role in their stead #And VERY unlikely in upper classes where family members are public figures. If you've been introduced as a man here you're probably #out of luck.#(Like you'll see accusations that adult-assigned akoshos are just pretending in order to disguise being male effeminates)#This position isn't freedom from gender norms or like. The equivalent of an accepted trans identity. It's its own assigned gender #space in an Expanded but strict binary with expanded but strict roles #Also the societal trends over centuries are showing signs of increasing collapse between the notions of 'effeminate man' (bad)#and 'akoshos' (normal). At this point the concepts are still very separate but the current societal trajectory is leaning towards the #akoshos role being phased out of its normalization (in tandem with Wardi culture becoming more intensely patriarchal with #the collapse of Wardi groups into one identity)#Like 600 years ago there was NOT a concept of 'effeminate man' and proto-akoshos roles were a #more central concept that enveloped divergences from expected masculinity. Whereas now the akoshos space is significantly narrower #and the concept of 'effeminate man' exists in tandem as a stigmatized descriptor. And things have gotten to the point of #people claiming that ''effeminate men'' will 'pretend' to be akoshos #The akoshos identity becoming stigmatized/phased out isn't inevitable but the tensions around it are definitely growing #Though there's also a sense that Peak Patriarchy has been hit and you're starting to see people pushing back at these norms in fairly #notable ways. There's not going to be like. A feminist revolution but civilian women getting more political freedoms (while the overall #context stays patriarchal) is a likely outcome which could also have side benefits of relaxing masculinity standards Somewhat

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wizardsix · 30 days ago

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I can't remember who said this but there was this one dev who said that when making romanceable characters they have to be attractive in some way (personality, looks, not too morally fucked up etc). and since I read that, the statement hasn't left my mind and I'm very aware now of whenever outside influence and modern discourse get to me or other writers. like just yesterday I found myself rewriting a scene to be more "comfortable" to witness, even though the point was to be emotionally charged and face a difficult topic the character had been actively lying about. but some things can't be glossed over. sometimes it's good when media grabs you by the shoulders and makes you face horrible shit. it's good when media makes you uncomfortable even if it's coming from a ~romanceable companion~. that means it's working. if you remain comfortable forever you learn nothing.

I bring this up bc the veilguard companions are the perfect example and victims of the "romanceable characters need to be attractive" mindset. they don't have ugly sides, they don't fight with each other--and I mean really fight--they don't have controversial opinions or do problematic things. they don't ever question your authority over their lives and why you're the guy in charge. they are nice and perfect and their problems aren't really that serious and can be fixed by simply having a therapy session w rook (bc being possessed or gaining new magic isn't a big deal in a world where previously such events are Very distressing and hard to control). they are further proof that trying too hard to make something attractive has the complete opposite effect if your brain isn't the size of a pebble.

it's overall very frustrating that big game developers continue to be so spineless and I'm not giving anyone a pass for shallow writing, especially from a franchise that is known to have complex characters. none of this is impressive after the first three dragon age games, which were well loved and dissected and debated for years after their release. that isn't to say these games don't have kind characters, having that balance is why I personally like dark fantasy and liked what the dragon age games offered (whenever the writing was good..). it's not dark for the sake of being dark (see grimdark), there's a reason why these things are happening, and in this world no one is completely innocent even if they have good intentions. most people like when their characters aren't always kind or agreeable, bc it's extremely rewarding to finally find that middle ground (of course I have to bring up larian, who made bg3 and proved just how much people appreciate flawed characters, see astarion). conflict is the driving force of a story, no matter what it is. even the most sickeningly sweet cozy slice of life story will have some kind of conflict. it's unavoidable. that's life. taking that away is setting yourself up for failure and all that remains is a boring story full of boring people. no one cares about characters who have their lives together.

(the post is technically over but I wanted to put some final thoughts under the cut bc this got longer than I meant)

I want to go back to the statement real quick... like i do agree, it's true as writers we'll subconsciously (or consciously if you're insecure) try to make our characters appealing, but this is the common trap writers fall into by giving a shit about what others think and want from Their work (which btw I fully believe in writing what you want even if it's "bad" because something with genuine soul will never be as bad as soulless cashgrabs). romanceable characters can and should be as flawed as you'd make any other character, bc trust me there's an audience for everything. even a random npc with two lines will be attractive to someone.

the pressure of an imaginary audience is what pushes writers into a corner and prevents writers from writing and exploring what They want. it's the writer's story first, not the audience's. I think the romanceable companion trap can be easily avoided if writers just 1) grow a bit of a backbone and 2) ask themselves if this is even a necessary or insightful mechanic that will help develop a character further. ask themselves if this character even has the capacity to handle a romantic relationship bc everything else is subjective and it's impossible to appeal to everyone (which apparently this is a controversial take). I won't sit here and pretend that I don't appreciate a good romance, but sometimes all someone really needs is a friend.

obsidian is a good example of self aware devs. they tried to do romance for pillars of eternity 2 bc of fan demand, and it didn't work very well. now for avowed, they didn't explore romance bc they know it's not their strong suit and don't feel it's necessary for this story, instead that time and effort went to developing the characters in other meaningful ways. I have nothing but respect for such a decision bc they know what they want from their story instead of lying and trying to be everything at once. less is more as they say.

#this was supposed to be a small post but . yk how it is #wrote this instead of working on my stupid art projects i am about to walk into the woods and never return i hate college #anyway. enjoy my rambling there's a point in there somewhere probably #nothing against the dev who said that btw i thought it was interesting for them to say since it is true #its hard to not think about the potential audience when creating something but we have to try to ignore them #i think i wanted to say more but whatever this generally covers my thoughts #and i know everything is subjective maybe people Do want their romanceable characters to be attractive and unproblematic #good for you. there's genres for that. but in a dark fantasy setting? some things just don't work like that. genres exist for a reason #i want my companions to be messy mfs not pretty perfect angels #also☝️dont be stupid i don't condone writers having personal agendas and writing hateful things #thats a completely different thing and obviously not what i meant #a writer should always be a neutral observer of their work. nothing else.#bioware critical #six speaks #oh also again... nothing wrong with um 'normal' and kind characters. but when everyone is like that it gets boring. variety ok

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nonasemporium · 11 months ago

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you know we talk about the weird relationship and implications between harrow and ortus and how they considered pairing them up anyway, but one of their huge points of contention was it would fuck up a cav line, but you know who else was there and who else they probably considered pairing with him--and might have even been planning to force if not for harrow's intervention--to have jock babies for sacrifice? gideon.

and I think this haunts ortus.

#I think ortus has EXTREME issues and trauma around children and childhood and family #I mean obviously he does #but g-d #I can even see crux seeing it as gideon's duty to the ninth #I can see Ortus avoiding her more than he should bc he can't stomach what they want of them eventually #I see him hanging onto that Harrow does not want it to happen #and Harrow does in fact work on dismissing all of it for a variety of reasons thank the body #but the way that must have made him SICK #ortus nigenad #gideon nav #tlt

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projectjasper · 5 months ago

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why would you remind us man... i miss them too though 🥺

#pond naravit #honestly this kind of trope is something i occasionally eat up but there are many reasons why it wouldn't work for nlmg #some just kind of... aesthetically speaking frankly #i always think about how ice in the warp effect who goes from 13 to like 20/21 doesn't really work #maybe part of the perception is the fact that i know what phuwin now looks like at 21 and that his babyface is gone #but visually it's hard to imagine nueng especially being like 23 there or whatever #it simply doesn't look like time passed #which is like a big part of that trope tbh #and at the end of the day im obviously also happy they didnt end up separated for five years #i think nueng barging in three months later is so much better for a variety of reasons

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simptasia · 8 months ago

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being gay or a lesbian doesn't shut down the reproductive organs, y'all lining up with 90s era homophobes with your "Gay People Don't Breed" bullshit

#plenty of gay ppl have created people either via science #or the old fashioned way heh. because i promise you. that is possible #sometimes a gay person fucks the gender they're not into (for a variety of reasons) and accidents happen #or! sometimes a gay person will do this on purpose to create kids #i'm the result of a lesbian picking the most attractive man she knew to breed with. to get the best results #and obviously [flutters eyelashes] that worked #anyways. can y'all like. Think. for longer than a sentence #theres a variety of experiences in this world #i promise you that straight people (and bi people people) arent the only ones having kids biologically

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frenchtwistresistance · 1 year ago

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youtube

@trillscienceofficer

#file under: additional reasons I’m perpetually upset that later seasons Voyager became the Seven and Doctor Variety Hour #it’s my firm opinion that music is something most cultures value and so it’s an interest B’Elanna had that both her parents approved of #and invested in. canonically Klingon opera and poetry are very important to Klingon culture and humans obviously value music #B’Elanna probably listened to a lot of varied music as a kid. maybe knows how to play accordion. is obviously a competent singer #like… what if seven bonded with Harry and B’Elanna over music instead of the Doctor?#(or even Janeway who’s been shown listening to and appreciating different genres?)#(and Seven’s childhood aspiration of being a ballerina and Janeway’s dying swan for a talent show?)#ok sure the Doctor is canonically a great opera singer but that’s all algorithm. he’s basically a sentient player piano.#idk I just have a lot of feelings about how Star Trek decided the new hot blonde ought to get to sing #while not shoehorning in equal singing opportunities for actual Broadway veteran Roxann Dawson #star trek voyager #b’elanna torres #even though the only good single-character focused episodes are about B’Elanna (or Tuvok)#B’Elanna has so much potential as a character and Roxann can give so much as an actress and yet. sidelined for clichés.#Youtube

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zedif-y · 2 years ago

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fuck it . reblog this and put in the tags who your favorite youtuber/streamer is and why . i'll start (you can give more than one)

feel free to ramble!! i'm curious!

#ryan's screaming #ur answers dont Have to be mcyt related but this is a mcyt blog so :p #mcyt #mcytblr #hermitcraft #trafficblr #okay okay so.#my favorites are impulse and zedaph . tango to an extent as well but i admit impulse and zed are my favorites by a mile #i cant fully articulate why i love impulse so much because its really a whole variety of reasons #his videos/content in general just have such a calming effect on me man #i love how he interacts with people and he has such a nice voice and it genuinely makes me so happy when he creates something awesome #like yeah!! yeah be proud!! thats fucking awesome!#scar and skizz have mentioned this too but the fact that hes a good leader . the fact that he looks out for other people the fact that hes-#-a genuinely good guy .#i hope this isnt weird KLJDSGHKJSDG #im just... i know i dont Really know him . obviously i dont know him on a personal level . but the fact that the people who Do and are-#-around him have such good things to say...#and not just that his work ethic makes me actually insane . dude is on a GRIND and he works hard and it shows!! it really does!#he said himself he reads every comment he gets and when he runs out he reads SKIZZ'S COMMENTS #he cares so much about the content he puts out and that care SHOWS. IT BLEEDS INTO HIS WORK. I LOVE IMPULSESV!!!!!#and like. ive already rambled about zedaph #but i really really really seriously think hes so underrated #because man. MAN you can see the hard work as well #hes so clever. hes so witty . hes creative as HELL #his videos are unlike anything ive ever seen and ive never watched a zedaph video and NOT laughed #like how does he come up with this ?!?!?#not to mention the care he puts into zedcraft . i may not be a part of it but??? THE MONTHLY EVENTS??#his editing is AMAZING too #and THE MERCH. THE MERCH!! like yes i know its not like he crafted and designed all of his merch by hand . like dot drew the create cube-#-and the olympzits was designed and built by the zedcraft community

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chickenmcnuggies · 1 year ago

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woag. golems

#sprites #modding #ironically. the base golem is my least favorite #the inferno golem i like the magma i did on it #but the ice and wood golems im very happy with #i didn't even know wood golems were a thing in BD and that's bc 'wood golem' is only an enemy in the BD2 demo #it's model is reused for a group of enemies in the full game and the specific texture is reused for 'woody' but #i saw there was a wood golem of any variety and was like 'oh that's sick what if i give each of the vanilla races their own type'#with wood for elves obviously. rock for humans. inferno for goblins. and ice for dwarves #at least ideally. for some reason animal entity tokens wont actually give dwarves the ice golem #every other race's animal token works great. just not dwarves #so ice golems are just a common domestic instead #close enough #the wood golems im trying to make an actually tough plant type enemy so elves have a lot of fire power in sieges #so far they're pretty tough! turns out making them made of A Lot of tissue layers makes them a lot more durable

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shoechoe · 1 year ago

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man i am glad i didn't get the tumblr layout update

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oswaldddavis · 1 year ago

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(They think the other is a idiot)

#asktotag #sonic exe #xhouse #((No idea how to explain we have like way too many interpretations and spoofs of the guy))#((Like I could ramble about the ''Master File & Distributions'' or ''Spoof'' variants but honestly talk so much I end up saying nonsense?))#((Main reason why my art seems to have no context is because I literally voice chat and ramble for 4-6 hours))#((Essentially about the newest hyperfixated multiverse we've created-))#((-for our far to energetic ideas for us to narrow down & ''choose'' one because there's no singular correct interpretation of art))#((There's far too many variables to consider one universe as the most canon so obviously we have to branch from every possible angle-))#((-and end up with at least 30 of the same character but in different flavours))#((NOT ACCOUNTING FOR THE FACT THAT IT'S ADDICTING TO MAKE SPOOFS FROM JUST ONE INTERACTION TO SEE WHERE THEY GO))#((Like. There's so much potential in the morality and development of a character based off of one or more events-))#((-that derail from their original situations! ENVIRONMENTS & SITUATIONS SHAPE SO MUCH FOR A PERSON & I HAVE TO SEE EVERY POSSIBLE ANGLE.))#((Sorry for the rant/ramble here-))#((-I never usually have the confidence to express how much I love making things.))#((I tend to bury my thoughts and say so little cause I usually think no one would be interested or would think I'm annoying for it))#((Sometimes you hear voices say the most stupid take & feel so enraged by its obsurdity that you temporarily lose your social anxiety))#((It'll probably return eventually because the moment I post this I can guarantee it will cause it's happened before. I am not immune.))#((Unrelated but I like having a variety of papers to draw on again. I can't share much yet due to conceptuals but Soon!!))

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rotisseries · 2 years ago

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thinking about loz byler au again (breath of the wild specifically rn) and my brain keeps going "oooh the party as the champions" bc it sounds like it works out PERFECTLY there are 6 people in the party there's 6 champions if we count link and zelda, who are obviously mike and will, and then I remember that this would mean 4 of them have to be dead for like. the entirety of the main plot

#and other issues #like anyway the way I'm thinking about this is max=urbosa lucas=revali dustin=daruk el=mipha #it wouldn't be a direct one to one thing obviously. for a variety of reasons #idk like it sounds good on instinct and then I start thinking about the specifics of it and get confused idk I wish I could solve problems #bc like. details related to each specific champion and whatnot. like. urbosa knew zelda's mom. that can't work #and then like. who would be the champion's successors then?#I think el in mipha's position would work pretty well actually which is making me want to fit #the rest of the party in the other roles but it doesn't work the same. well actually no lucas and dustin are fine #probably bc revali and daruk are each Just Some Guy #whereas urbosa and mipha are characters who have actual history with link and zelda #and therefore more details in the lore that you have to work around #ok the issue is mostly max as urbosa and then the things with the champion's successors #like. mipha has a little brother. el does not. and I mean it could be any family member theoretically but that's kind of confusing for el #IDKKK #I'm thinking about this too hard bc its not like I'm gonna do anything with it #I should think about the skyward sword loz au instead that one's easier #only questions you have to answer there are who gets to be groose and who's impa #I can't figure those out either #loz byler

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dilutedapplejuice · 1 year ago

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Tw: none

I live in my head a lot!

In the early years of my life (before high school) I was pretty oblivious. I spent a lot of time alone with my special interests (reading fantasy books, then later watching anime), escaping into fictional worlds for most of the day. I spent some time with friends at school, but I frequently forgot to make plans outside of school with them- and I liked it that way. I didn’t have lots of extra time or energy for socializing and opted to spend it alone in my head.

Near high school I developed some intense social anxiety and chose to spend more of my time and energy on social things. I went to therapy without knowing about my autism and learned to mask in many ways, one of which being hiding and repressing my special interests.

I lost interest in anime by sophomore year. Still, I am not built for constant social stressors. Rather than becoming outgoing and spending all my time with friends, I had moved to spending all my time on tumblr and YouTube while dealing with near-constant exhaustion and guilt from both social and academic stressors.

Junior year, I decided to give myself a break. I took easier classes and spent less time with friends. I developed a special interest in Kingdom Hearts and happily pursued it (even though it meant slightly ghosting I my friends for a few weeks). I found a much better way to live, even if it wasn’t conventional.

Now I know I’m autistic. I realize how suppressing my special interests harm my self-image and general mental health. I know that I still suffer the repercussions, despite only masking that part of myself for around a year.

But I also learned that it’s not good to live inside my head all the time. High school did help me a lot. I made closer friends who accept me for who I am. I became more informed about social justice and deconstructing the own stigma I’ve internalized. I’ve thought more about what my future will be like. I had to get out of my shell to do those things.

Now these two sides of myself coexist; I live in my head, but I relate to the world around me in my own way. It’s all in moderation Most autistic people DO need help with skill-building; even level ones like me. I got support even before my diagnosis. It wasn’t entirely the right kind of support but it helped me discover myself a bit more.

#actually autistic #autism rambles #Obviously I am only speaking for my own experiences #Many autistic people are perfectly content to not build social skills or mask and that’s super cool /gen #It’s just been helpful for me for a variety of reasons #Like I have this idea that I’m going to do some amazing stuff for the world #And just help people in general #But I can’t exactly do that if I’m stuck in my head…#y’know?#A lso my definition of “in my head” might be different from other people’s lol #I mean like escapism

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jvzebel-x · 2 years ago

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🦋

#so my new med is actually supposed to help both my more severe gi issues-- like my intestinal muscles just. not moving lol--#&some of my more pressing neurological issues-- like the seizures we all thought were just temp related #that built into an actual mini stroke lmao.#but it doesn't interact like. the BEST w my mood meds which is highly unfortunate for a variety of reasons lmao #&i havent been taken off of them ENTIRELY bc that would obviously be Not Good lol #but the dosage is being cut dramatically to prep to take me off&put me on something else #&ive started a low dose of my new oral med to prep to ramp me up to the presumed right level #&tbh idk how well this easing on thing is going lmao two types of head problems&all my gut issues being effected all at once #is FUCKING me up lmao a fact that im sure hasnt been coming thru during this Bad Mania time.#... also the more directly my neurological problems are linked to my gastrointestinal issues the more i want to put my head thru a window.#... lmao.

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lady-harrowhark · 2 years ago

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welp my nurse hasn't called so presumably i am not getting my infusion today despite them pestering my doctor's office for the approval paperwork for over three weeks now

#i guess i will just let my NINE THOUSAND DOLLAR VIAL OF MEDICATION hang out in my fridge 🙄#(the pharmaceutical company has a patient assistance program that covers what insurance doesn't but STILL)#like i KNOW it's fine if i don't get it exactly on time but it still makes me nervy #because if you go too long without this kind of meds you run the risk of developing antibodies against it #and then you obviously can't use it anymore #and i really really want to stay on this one for as long as possible for a variety of reasons #so anything that disrupts it even mildly puts me on edge big time

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