#for a murder that I had previously talked about being upset about because I had walked by the place it happened 20 minutes before the murder

[madigoround]

✌🏻

[starberry-cupcake]

I had time to read just one chapter but I wanted to make a recap anyway because the next chapter is like 360000 pages long (I may be exaggerating slightly) and I'm not sure if tomorrow I'll be able to update, so we're doing just gideon tonight (I have a feeling she'd love that wording)

previously, in harrowcita del 9:

this happened

CHAPTER 48

gideon tells harrow that she should have probably killed off mercygirl but she wasn't "thinking straight"

when has she, though

she decided to keep going further into the emperor's infested bolthole

she finds a lot of corpses of bees that have been killed already

and thinks harrowcita would have appreciated how bad and nasty everything looked

then follows the corpses and the scent of despair and murder and finds yandere twin at the end of it, standing like a pulp fiction killer

gonna illustrate with a susan denberg movie poster I find appropriate

yandere twin gets emotional and goes "harry, you're—"

to which gideon answers with "Alive, bitch"

gideon says that she "had long since ascended to the rank of double douchbag" which I consider another memorable instance of chad catching strays

and gideon has some Issues to Resolve with yandere twin

and by resolve, I mean fix them with Violence

she starts getting upset at all the things yandere twin did to harrow, which include "faked to your fucking face like she couldn't see a corpse that was obviously there"

I SAID I THOUGHT SHE WAS GASLIGHTING HARROW

gideon is very determined to fix all of this diplomatically

by beating the crap out of her

they start a banter that will be an incredibly entertaining thing to witness for the next pages

I can't make it justice in a recap tbh

I was just basically like

gideon will, in a very persistent way, throughout the conversation, tell yandere twin that harrow will never love her

yandere twin wants to give gideon funny nicknames, like who would do that, that's so disrespectful, I can't even fathom doing that at all

not to gideon, anyway

yandere twin says that mercygirl disappeared, augustine dropped out and gideon the first is trying to handle the stuff on his own, kinda?

she's surprised by the fact that mercygirl tried to kill harrow

"why did you ascend to be a lyctor?" "ultimate power—and posters of my face" "Fair"

they find augustine being useless in a hallway and, when he sees gideon's eyes, he panics and bolts out of there

these lyctors are all a joke istg each and every one of them

except for, I think it was cassiopeia, who had the ceramics collection, she's fine

well no, I don't condone planet murder for ceramics, but she gets a bit more points than the rest for them

there's a lot of talk about buttholes between gideon and yandere twin and I'm not above that, since I've been making bolthole jokes this whole time

gideon is living for the nudes in yandere twin's room

nobody is surprised about that

but there's no time to think about the nudes or buttholes anymore when yandere twin pulls out a harrow letter for gideon

gideon is going through it even before opening it, as are we

she finds her glasses and a note that says

"one flesh, one end"

"Fuck one flesh, one end, harrow" "Because all I ever wanted you to do was eat me. Which is, coincidentally, what your mother said to me last night"

always so poetic, ortus can't even get close to this level

gideon keeps telling yandere twin that she has no chance with harrow

"I hated those eyes in her face; I kept expecting to smell hair gel."

chad catching strays at every turn, I live

gideon explains about harrow being in love with ice cube barbie

"I know the signs of Nonagesimitis"

and yandere twin goes "All that fuss about the Saint of Duty. What a little hypocrite"

which I guess is because of the whole gideon the first and not!dulcinea thing? but that's like totally different form whatever this is???

there are layers to the corpse and lyctor relationships, you guys

it's a very wide spectrum

gideon says that her connection to harrow has to do with her being her cav which...ok, gideon

"Nonagesimus, you hating me always meant more than anyone else in this hot and stupid universe loving me. At least I'd had your full attention"

gideon rn:

yandere twin isn't deterred by all of this information and thinks harrow and her have an eternity to bond because they're lyctors

as if they weren't doomed right now but ok girl, go for your dreams, I guess

gideon threatens yandere twin not to be nasty with harrow and to get away from her with her nasty necro ways

yandere twin goes "What can I say, I love a little gall on gall"

which absolutely wins gideon over for a sec

"Reverse everything I just told you. Let's get married"

I knew the horny puns would help them bond

it's the little things sometimes that bring us all together

yandere twin says chad used to say she would "go to hell and get fucked" and you know what, fuck that guy

this is why he's still catching strays on a regular basis 9 months later

yandere twin wants to take gideon to see dr reverend emperor john

gideon goes "No, thanks. I'm good"

that's what I would have said, I approve

but she has no choice, because harrowcita is still gone and whatever's going on is ??????

so, out she goes to follow yandere twin to see this asshat

who maybe will, at the very least, give us a little more info on gideon's demigod status

fingers crossed

hope he dies

And that's it for this update!!! It's a short one but we're moving forward!!!

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Day 22: apology fic

Based directly on S2E17

Masterlist flufftober 🎀

tw: Reid's addiction, withdrawal symptoms, it's more like hurt/comfort but I think that was the point of this prompt, haha

You hugged your pillow tighter as you looked out the jet window, feeling too sad to try to fall asleep, but tired enough to do anything else.

You felt hurt by the argument you had had with your friend, with whom you had previously sat in an armchair to sleep together, but who was now sleeping alone on one of the longest seats.

Spencer had been weird, and with good reason, since Tobias Hankel had deprived him of his freedom and you honestly didn't know how to help him anymore. You had tried approaching him to chat and constantly asking him if he was okay, always getting the same fake response from him. During cases you would offer to accompany him wherever Gideon sent him in an attempt to monitor his mood, but he always looked just as sad, quiet and tired.

However, things changed drastically when you heard the presentation of the case the day before and you saw Spencer arriving late, staggering and with a look that no longer seemed sad at all, but angry. There was something about the way he slurred his words that worried you and his dark stained eyes around him didn't help much.

It made you feel a little better that he offered to visit certain places when you were discussing responsibilities on the jet and you thought that if you accompanied him you could find time to talk to him, but you were taken by surprise by the cruel rejection he showed to your idea. Hotch noticed it too and forced your friend to accept your help, which he didn't seem too pleased with.

What you didn't expect was to see his ruthless and unconscious attitude when you visited the homeless shelter, hinting to the manager that literally anyone who entered could be a murderer and then just walking out of there.

“Okay, what the hell is happening?”

“What's happening with what?”

“With you,” you murmured, frowning at your friend “You've been so strange lately and now you're upset and… what's going on?��

"What's going on?" he asked, sounding almost offended “I don't know Y/N, what do you think? Did you want me to be happy and smiling like a little child after everything that happened?”

“Spencer, I know, but…”

“No, you don't” he interrupted you, with a reprimanding tone that took you by surprise. Since you had started in the unit, he had never spoken to you that way, as if you were incapable of understanding things and that irritated him “You don't know anything and I ask you please not to get involved in things that don't concern you.”

“Things that don't concern me? You... I'm worried about you. We are friends, of course I am going to care about your well-being”

“Do you care about me or do you care that I don't screw up the case?” he spat. No matter how much you tried to make him see reason, he was still locked around that black cloud that had been following him for weeks “Don't be a hypocrite.”

“I am not a hypocrite, it isn’t my fault that you believe that you only deserve good treatment when there is an interest involved”

Things had started to escalate, because if you weren't angry before, now you had started to feel that way.

“It's my damn problem whatever’s happening, not yours. You just mind your business and leave me alone, will you?”

He walked away and you stood there, contemplating for a moment what had just happened and feeling hurt. For the rest of the case you didn't speak and on the trip back you made sure to sit far enough away from him so you wouldn't have to face him. Only you and Hotch were awake that night and the man's voice asking if you were okay brought you out of your thoughts.

“I talked to Reid to find out what's going on and he told me to go to hell,” you responded, shrugging your shoulder and with a tone that denoted that you didn't want to talk more about the matter. Aaron just nodded and offered you a polite sorry, concentrating on the paperwork he had to fill out.

A week passed before the silence became unbearable. He wanted to get closer to you, but he didn't know how to do it and he didn't know if you would agree to talk to him after the way he had treated you. It was a Friday when he gathered his courage, so when he observed that you were about to go home he decided to cut you off by standing in front of you.

You didn't talk about the incident with anyone else, but as the days passed the whole team noticed the barrier that had been installed between the two of you and that you were not willing to repair, after all you had been the one who had offended after trying to show to your friend your concern. At the same time, while you felt the resentment brewing in your belly, Spencer was freeing himself from the suffocating effect of the drugs and with each moment of clarity that came to his mind he became more aware of the mistake he had made.

"Can I talk to you?"

“You're doing it,” you responded, looking at him from your seat seriously. Spencer noticed Morgan and JJ whispering in the distance, probably about the two of you, so he turned his eyes to you.

“Can we talk in private?” he rephrased, with a cautious tone that bordered on pleading. You didn't respond verbally, just nodded and he followed you towards the elevator. You went down in silence and once you were at the reception you continued walking to the parking lot, stopping next to your car.

Spencer didn't want to be the first to say something, almost like he was afraid of you.

"And then? What do you need?"

“I want to apologize to you,” he said quickly “For what happened the other day in Houston. I shouldn't have told you what I told you, I'm very sorry."

You were a little surprised because, although you assumed it was about it, you didn't expect him to tell you so directly, but rather you thought that he would try to justify his actions in some way. Still, you seemed a little reluctant to answer and Reid noticed that.

“It's okay, it doesn't matter.”

“It does,” he insisted and the parallel with your argument added a certain sensitivity to the moment “I was very rude to you and you didn't deserve it.”

“Reid, I think I should have respected that you don't want to talk about it.”

“Don't apologize, I'm the one apologizing here,” he murmured, not sounding annoyed, but desperate. He ran both hands through his hair and then thought that if he wanted his apology to be worth it, he would have to be honest with you “Listen, I haven't been having a good time since… that day” He swallowed, refusing to call the event a kidnapping “And when Tobias… when he…”

“Don't tell me,” you said softly, breaking the physical and emotional distance between you by taking a step forward “If you don't want to talk about it, I'm not going to make you.”

“I want to do it, but I don't know how. I’ve never known how to ask for help,” he sobbed. Suddenly his grumpiness in Texas seemed like nothing compared to seeing him this sore, which made your chest hurt “I feel like I'm falling into a bottomless pit and the only way to keep those I love safe is to keep them out of my own misery and thus free them of my burden.”

“You're not a burden,” you murmured, your voice shaking slightly at the thought of him feeling so worthless. “You were kidnapped, Spencer. You said it yourself, how can we expect you to be as if nothing had happened? I didn't want you to think I was pressuring you to be okay, I just… I wanted to know if there was anything he could do to help you. Because I want to do it, but only if you want me to do it”

“I'm sorry for telling you to leave me alone, I don't want that,” he cried and nothing more was needed for you to wrap him in a hug that he gladly accepted.

You could feel his silent tears on your shoulder and with every drop he let fall he felt more and more guilty, because he never intended for things to end like this. He was supposed to apologize to you and now you were comforting him.

He felt so selfish.

“Please don't be angry with me anymore.”

"No, no. I'm not angry," you reassured him, raising your hand to the back of his neck to caress his hair "Why don't I take you home instead? And I'm staying with you today, what do you say?

"Would you do it?"

“Of course,” you replied gently.

He accepted your offer and you drove the entire way without exchanging a word. Only once you were in the safety of his home he dared to tell you everything that needed to be said, still with a hint of guilt. But when you listened to him, forgave him, and hugged him he knew that he had chosen the right person to trust. And he also knew that he would treasure your friendship for all that remained of his life.

taglist: @navs-bhat@reidwritings@tricia-shifting14@spencerslove@vivian-555 @r-3dlips @rhiannonhippiegirl @taygrls @simp4f1 @sdddoobydoobydoo @taintedstranger @missabsey

[fangirltothefullest]

Thoughts on the welcome home update because YES. Spoilers below the cut.

That sleep aid pill is called remderem which is almost "remember" but the d would be backwards, and its also almost "murder me" while missing the u. Is this anything? I don't know. Im always looking for names of things in args.

We have seen through two puppets eyes. First it was Wally and his discomfort and/or dissociation, and now it's Eddie's discomfort and/or dissociation. Which is fun because we've heard that Eddie would do crafts for the show and you'd just see his hands so that was a fun touch.

First iteration of the website we had mail letters (Eddie) giving us clues. Second iteration had bugs (Frank?) and active drawings (Wally?) giving us clues. Now we have symbols giving us clues and they remind me of stickers a little bit so possibly a connection to Sally? Who else would give the tiny pictures? Questions questions.

At the end of that commercial before his existential crisis, they say Eddie has been invited and they did his job for him so he could rest. Eddie does not seem happy about them doing his job for him instead of letting him do it himself. I am reminded of how clumsy with the mail he seems to be sometimes and how much work they make him do in the other audio clips. I wonder if he is feeling extremely overwhelmed but also unappreciated and that they can do all this work to help and choose not to most days? Sally insists it was easy to do and Eddie does not sound pleased.

One thing i can't stop thinking about and i have to go back and really re-watch the commercials closely, is Poppy. When they invite Eddie to the party they say everyone is there but there's no Poppy in the picture? And earlier they poured gravy on an ornament that, to me, looked very oddly shaped and almost like meat, and we hear Poppy, but we don't see her. So... a pea on a plate..... "P" on a plate? My brain could be misconstruing but did they eat Poppy and is that what he's actually seeing and is that why it's all red? I'd he seeing the reality beyond the mask? Is it more than a pea?

Eddie says "where?" In his crisis as a response to Frank calling his name. People are talking about this as if he doesn't know where he is. I agree this is a likely idea but what if he's asking where Poppy is? Do we ever actually see her in any of the videos or do we just hear her?

Wally has feelings a lot which is good to confirm he has feelings! Eddie also said he would be happy with an apple every single day and my he is an innocentbautism creature wally agenda is flourishing.

The amount if commercials has me fascinated because people used to do that for TV shows (still do but those earlier type ones welcome home is referencing is spot on) commercials for basically everything is accurate and what is funny is the accuracy of what each person is selling. Howdy with the cigarette commercial- he takes every opportunity to sell you something no matter what even if it's not good for you. Sleepy looking Wally selling you sleeping pills happy with the thought of the dream.

Wally being nervous about getting the holiday correct. Is it because he's never done it or ia Home going to hurt him?

Did home hurt Eddie because he was upset during the party? It sure fucking looks like it with home watching him so intensely. Does the chair have something to do with it?

Eddie's scribbled writing reminds me of the people trying to decipher the code on the safe.

On the secret pages it's signed "-W." But it talks as if it's a human person who watched the show and is working either the WHRP team. It also talks too grown up to be wally. Who is this?? Is it the same person from the terrified scribbles of the hidden page previously? It seems maybe so because of referencing needing the cleanup.

[ollycohens]

Hello! I was wondering whether you have any tips for writing Five in s1? I feel like I’m writing him ooc but I don’t know how to write him in character.

I hope this is allowed. Thank youu!

This is definitely allowed!! I love questions like this. I hope I can answer this alright, because I struggle with this too haha.

For me, when writing s1 Five, I may rewatch some scenes from the show. It may help to look at separate scenes from different episodes just in case so you can get an overall idea of him. I specifically go into this mindset that separates fiction from canon and I think of scenes from the show, depending on the situation I’m writing. For example if Five is talking with Klaus, we all may think he acts mean to everyone but actually remembering and possibly going back to look at interactions youll see that he’s actually quite mellow and plain in interactions, doesn’t insult unless he’s stressed (with the apocalypse) or someone is getting on his nerves (I’ve found rewatching happens less than you think).

S1 Five is running on straight adrenaline at all times. He has the constant fear and dread of the apocalypse dooming over him, and his siblings are not helping so he lashes out at them sometimes. Either ignores them or will say something similar to an empty stressed out threat (trying to get them to leave him be so he can work on the apocalypse).

Main takeaway points to think about and recognize when writing s1 Five is:

- he’s stressed about the apocalypse. No one is helping him

- it’s the (possible) first time he’s seen his siblings. They are strangers to him but he still loves them, awkwardness and precious traumas of last seeing them dead aside

- he’s in a “new” body. He’s going through puberty AGAIN. He is a child again. He doesn’t feel like himself and is mad about that but he has bigger problems.

- Klaus is the only one not being rude to him. He trusts Klaus more than the rest. Not in a “always reliable” way, but a “will be useful if offered something in return”. He goes to Klaus for most things in s1 (?), specifically apocalypse related help.

- he has no manners, doesn’t quite understand people and that what he says actually affects others. Either that or he is stressed and doesn’t care

- he has the mindset of “everyone is equal, no one is bad or good, they’re just people, they all can do bad things and or good things, doesn’t mean they are inheritely just bad or good people”

- he will kill people who will do bad things in the future (example: he talks to Luther about killing a flower merchant in case he causes the apocalypse in the future)

- he’s rude to strangers in s1 due to stress and constant dread, and these strangers aren’t giving him the answers he needs to stop the apocalypse so he’s upset and tired and angry. Outside of s1 you’ll see he’s kind to strangers, most of the time.

- he stands and acts like an old man physically but the toll of being in his younger body are affecting him mind and stuff because of puberty, so he may act on impulse out of anger but he rationally thinks things through often

- he actually does vent to his siblings. He tells them things in s1 (Luther: found their bodies. He’s feelings about murder. Viktor: what he found when he teleported when he was younger.) he talks to people about his problems, but not often because he doesn’t find the time or the reason. He doesn’t see it as necessarily important unless it helps further solving something. This may not apply to when he talks to Viktor in s1 about the apocalypse for the first time. He adds some things while explaining that the world is ending that make it seem like he’s just venting, not trying to get Viktor to understand the end of the world

- He starts showing signs of PTSD in s1. We don’t know if he’s had symptoms previously but in s1 we see him have a flashback in his van at some point after seeing some kids playing (reminds him of his childhood and the apocalypse??). PTSD is a problem in s1 for him, but we don’t really see him bring it up, but it’s there. We don’t know what happens off screen so that’s up to interpretation

Overall, he’s just an old guy stuck in his old-new 13 year old body and is going through puberty again. He’s mad about his body, upset that his siblings aren’t helping him (Klaus and possibly Luther aside. Luther helps him later in the season with confronting Cha-Cha and Hazel). He’s tiny and angry.

If you’d like to, you can send me (in dms or asks) some little things you’ve written of Five and I can give some critique or feedback on making him more in character <3 that’s up to you though!!! I’ll help with anything! I hope this helped, or atleast made sense, I may have ranted and got off topic but I’m not sure so let me know if there’s anything specific I can help with!

Thank you for this ask!!! It made me happy! ♥️

[anandrettisimp]

So when it comes to IndyCar we have a ‘big three’ when it comes to journalists

Marshall Pruett from RACER magazine

Nathan Brown from the IndyStar

Jenna Fryer from Associate Press

And, in all honesty, this whole Penske P2P situation shows everyone’s strengths.

Pruett is one of those motorsport journalists that were previously a mechanic so not only has that technical knowledge to give a different insight and expand on the information we have so far but has sources amongst the engineering and technical sides that’s others often don’t have.

Brown will ask questions, having gone to Tim Cindric several times since this all came to light and do his own investigations.

And Fryer, throws shade and stirs shit on twitter hoping it will somehow convince someone to give a tell all on her fainting couch.

Like, I wish I was joking. The woman has been attacking Josef since this began of all this happening.

Fun fact: Josef was always scheduled for Friday media, even before it was announced that he would be doing a mini conference in the morning.

And it’s not the first time she’s pulled shit like this.

She spent the “Daytona 23 hours and 58 minutes” acting like a gossip channel about what had happened to Devlin’s puppy as if to justify why she was at the track cause she talked more about blocking people than she did the race itself.

Then we have her basically bashing David Malukas for being upset that he didn’t win the Indy 500 rookie of the year over Jimmie Johnson, falsely claiming that he had abandoned another AP Journalist when he hadn’t and giving a half hearted back pedal before calling him and Dale Coyne Racing unsporting.

There’s also when she reported on Fernando Alonso’s announcement to be doing the 500, which was full of misinformation (highlights being that IndyCar and F1 totally use the same Honda engine and Fernando wasn’t going to have to do the rookie runs). When people including Mario and Michael fucking Andretti were calling her out on her bullshit, what did she do?

Compared herself to a journalist who had been murdered in Russia for speaking out against Putin and then used Billy Monger’s fund raiser as further deflection.

She acts like this, knowing that because she works for AP, people will still come to her with stories.

We’ve literally had Zak and Chip fight over her fainting couch throughout the Palou Contract saga.

And it’s fucking infuriating.

[gareleia]

THE KNITTING SAGA BUT HERMES IS A DUMMY

update: my co-writer friend FINALLY got a tumblr account, so I can tag them now!!

previously: part 1 part 2 part 3

next: part 5

m'kay, so, we've talked about Athena & Telemachus' issues. now let's touch on Hermes, because a Diva™ like him deserves his own post. and also because this had been sitting in my notes for so long i've genuinely forgotten about it (i'd say that it's what translating a musical does to you, but honestly my attention span is just shit)

now, as much as I love Soft Boi!Hermes, I even more so love prankster Hermes who doesn't really recognize personal boundaries or the meaning of 'too far'. he's the guy who'll commit to the bit so far, he'll commit mass murder with a Tee-Hee and genuinely wonder what has got everyone so upset.

kid!Telemachus, holding a cup of poison: grandpa, are you sure it's a good idea? I'm scared… Hermes, laughing his ass off in the corner: of course I'm sure, champ! it'll be hilarious! good ol' game of Ithacean Roulette! now dump it into the wine, let's see who we'll get this time!

at the same time, he's not selfish. he's very keen on doing things for the people he likes, and he cares enough to know when someone is distressed. he, as a god, is just so removed from traditional human morality that casual acts of cruelty are perfectly acceptable to him, while, for example, breaking an oath is a horrible sin.

think blue and orange morality stuff.

telemachus, outraged: …murdered his own family, can you imagine? hermes, equally outraged: I know, right? he gave a blood oath and broke it! disgusting! telemachus: why is that your only concern?!

but don't worry, helping to raise Telemachus and hanging around the same people consistently makes a real boy outta him gives him enough time and insight into humanity to start understand mortals better, and, as consequence, adopt some of their values.

especially the concept of spousal loyalty. Hermes is a patron god of thieves, and at the time taking someone's wife was viewed as an act of theft (because women were property, yeeesh). which is why to him Penelope's situation was less of a tragedy and more of a "well, my dumbass great-grandson Odysseus should've seen it coming. snooze you lose! ¯_(ツ)_/¯"

that is, until he gets to know her better. and suddenly she's not a prize to be won or a challenge to conquer. she's a smart, capable person that commands respect from anyone who's got a shred of self-awareness. she's got gentle hands, and a radiant smile, and a spine of steel. Penelope looked Hermes dead in the eyes and told him serenely to keep being a good influence on her son, she does not deserve to be reduced to a token and given away to the highest bidder.

hermes, initially: well, penelope's a rich, gorgeous, basically single queen. I'd steal her too, if she was my type. hermes, 10 years later: she's the smartest, ballsiest human woman I've ever met and if she only wants her Ugly Ass Groom then she'll fucking stay single until he comes back.

unfortunately for everyone else, Hermes cannot step in to protect her, because Zeus and Poseidon are both pissed off at Odysseus already, and if either of them notices Hermes (and/or Athena) interfering with mortals on Ithaca, they might take it as an invitation to follow suit, and then it'll be Troy Story 2: Electric Boogaloo.

so he stays his hand, and hangs around Telemachus discreetly, mostly posing as a human. for a god of liars, he's surprisingly bad at blending in for long periods of time. Hermes thinks he's an awesome conspirator. meanwhile little Telemachus didn't even realise it was a secret.

the only people who don't know that [insert alias] is a god in disguise are the suitors, who are notoriously either too stupid, too overconfident or too busy drinking to connect the dots. the exception is Antinous who pretends to be oblivious and makes sure the gods don't see him as a threat to their beloved little pup (otherwise he'd have killed the prince long ago).

the suitors, however, unanimously agree that they hate this weird annoying stranger, and try to get rid of him in increasingly elaborate ways, from poison to stabbing to wild animals to dropping pots on his head.

spoiler alert: it doesn't work.

hermes, next day: *comes back every morning like nothing had happened, whistling cheerily* suitors: WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!

eventually Antinous convinces them to give up so they don't piss off Hermes.

years pass, Telemachus grows. Athena teaches him strategy and arts of war. Aeolus gradually comes out of the hiding and becomes the resident lovable comic relief side character. and Hermes? he teaches the kid all the good stuff.

and it's not just lying, okay? (though it's a significant part of it) music, diplomacy, geography, street smarts, some history. he's a worldly god, had observed and been a part of countless cultures. above all else, he knows people. he may not really understand them, but he knows how to get what he wants from them, how to find common ground and how to spin things to get along with practically anyone.

and girls. Hermes helps Telemachus with girls.

because he's the cool uncle figure that Telemachus admires, the kid trusts him enough to ask the god for advice when he starts growing older and gets his first crush in his early teens.

and, on one hand, Hermes is ecstatic. on the other one…

telemachus, blushing and stuttering: there's a girl I met, she's so pretty, and cool, and, and, and how do I talk to her, do I just come up and say hi, but what if sh- hermes: … hermes: *blue screen of death* hermes: MY BABY-

it's the first time he truly starts to grasp how short the kid's life will be. because in the blink of an eye he turned from a newborn to an adolescent, and soon enough he'll have his own family, and Odysseus was already a king himself at this age, and Hermes is not ready this can't be it he can't just grow old and die

so anyway, he pushes the thought aside and pretends it never came up at all (because that always works, and bottling shit up never blows up in anyone's face, right, Athena?)

he gives lots of advice, from useless macho stuff to golden nuggets like "be yourself" and "show her respect". and, of course, he cheers from the sidelines, hiding 'inconspicuously'.

and it goes surprisingly well. the girl appears to find Telemachus' awkward attempts at flirting sweet and charming, and the boy is on the cloud nine.

but Hermes isn't. because, unlike the prince, his judgment isn't clouded by a puppy crush and he can see that the girl is actually a lying bitch, who's playing Telemachus like a fiddle, hoping to become the next queen of Ithaca. and he won't stand for it.

except Telemachus, for some reason, doesn't seen thrilled when Hermes tells him to dump the girl?? he flat out refuses to believe that, because love is blind and so are sheltered insecure teenage boys.

so Hermes, in his infinite wisdom, decides to prove to his naive little charge once and for all that the girl is just using him and doesn't actually love him. now, what's the first example of true selfless love from a woman that comes to mind to the god who had spent the last few years hanging out with the royal family of Ithaca? right, Penelope. and the one thing that characterises Penelope is her unconditional loyalty, even into the face of countless threats and temptations.

hermes, to himself: so, if I show the kid that the bitch will leave him as soon as she finds a better prospect, he will definitely admit I was right all along! and dump her! it's a perfect, easy, foolproof plan! I am so smart! what could possibly go wrong!

another spoiler alert: everything goes wrong.

the girl does happily jump into his arms as soon as he hints that he's a god/demi-god/just a cooler prince or something. she does it right in front of Telemachus, in fact, so there's no way he'd be able to deny the obvious.

on the bright side, Hermes immediately outs her as a lying bitch and publicly shames her, embarrassing her family and ruining her prospects of marriage and causing her to suffer for the rest of her life ('disproportionate revenge'? what's that?).

on the down side, for some unfathomable reason, Telemachus doesn't seem very grateful??? what???????

hermes: and so, AS ALWAYS, I was right. telemachus: hermes: but please, hold your applause! telemachus: hermes: I did it all for you, out of the goodness of my heart! telemachus: hermes: and please, don't apologize! you were wrong, I get it! no need to- telemachus: *bitch slaps his smug face and runs away, hurt and betrayed* hermes: *shocked pikachu face*

thing is, Hermes doesn't understand what he did wrong. in his mind he did a rather good deed: showed the liar's true colors, and spared the kid a lot of heartache down the line. he doesn't understand the feelings of betrayal from having someone he trusts explicitly outing him as a naive fool in front of everyone he ever dreamed of earning respect from. doesn't get the pain of having been cast aside by someone he liked in favor of a god, with whom he could never compete. can't imagine living in the shadow of someone he had never even known and being constantly reminded of all the ways he's lacking.

telemachus: I'm not a stupid child, hermes. I could've handled it. hermes: but you didn't listen to me, maybe you'd have never seen it on your own- telemachus: and maybe I would've. maybe I would've had the opportunity to find out myself, and maybe I would've learned from it, but you never gave me that choice, did you?! did you think i'm that dumb?! hermes: oh, come on, kid, you're not dumb- telemachus: THEN WHY DO YOU TREAT ME LIKE I AM?! WHY DON'T YOU EVER TRUST ME?!

aaaaand there's the core issue. Telemachus had spent his whole life being babied at best and looked down upon at worst. constantly compared to Odysseus and his more vicious peers, always shielded from making tough decisions and proving himself. he feels like he will never amount to anything, because no one ever lets him really try. as soon as it looks like he's going to make a mistake, someone (usually Athena, Aeolus or Hermes) swoops in and 'fixes' everything for him, just like they used to do when he was an accident-prone toddler. which he isn't anymore.

and Hermes doesn't understand that. to him, ten years is basically nothing. the kid can't have changed that much in ten years. because if he did, then he'll change a lot in the next ten years, and the next, and very soon he won't change anymore, because ten years are nothing and so are human livespans.

ten years are nothing, because to admit otherwise would force Hermes to face the fact that Telemachus, no matter how precious, is just as mortal as any other human. which amounts to basically losing him already. and Hermes can't.

he held that boy as an infant. he fed him, helped to teach him walk and talk and make silly faces. he can't lose this child to time, the one thing even gods can't really protect humans from.

Penelope finds Hermes sitting on her balcony with the most human expression on his face she'd ever seem him wear. he's lost, and confused, and full of regrets, and kind of terrified. in that aspect, he reminds her painfully of her husband.

hermes, mumble: he's growing older penelope, sighing: I know hermes: he's not a baby anymore penelope: believe me, I know hermes: but... what do I do now??? penelope: you let it happen. not much else you can do.

she talks him through it.

hermes, rambling: but I will lose him. I'll lose him if he grows old and dies. this is why I don't get attached to mortals, you die too soon. he can't die now. penelope: he's not going to die now. he'll become the king first, he will find a good wife and have children and grandchildren. he will become great, greater that I and his father could ever dream of. and he'll be happy. don't you want to see that? hermes: I do, but- I don't want him to grow up! penelope: then you finally know the biggest joy and the deepest pain of parenthood.

it doesn't fix his fear. doesn't fix his pain, either. but it does help fix his attitude.

because she's right. Telemachus is growing old, and he can't shelter and protect the boy forever. soon he'll become a man, then an elder. and there's nothing Hermes can do about it, short of dragging the prince to Olympus and begging Zeus to grant him immortality, which will never work.

Hermes and Telemachus make up, of course. the latter knows, deep down, that the former is just trying to take care of him. they make up and forget the fight - at least, the boy does.

Hermes will always remember.

and he will count every day, every wrinkle, every grey hair.

the joy and pain of parenthood indeed.

[it-happened-one-fic]

Hours In The Moonlight: Fairest Midnight - 6. Shatter to a Billion Pieces

Summary: Questions always came with answers, and sometimes they were answers you wouldn’t like. But sometimes it's hard to realize quite how bad a situation is until something smacks you in the face with the reality of it all. And reality can be the harshest thing in the world even when you're surrounded by creatures that ought to be pure legends.

Type: Gender-neutral reader/ Vampire AU/ romantic/ angst/ angst with comfort/ fluff/ sfw/ platonic interactions too!

Trigger Warning: Vampire, Blood

Word Count: 1570

Hours in the Moonlight Master-List

Despite Rook’s suspicions, the murders continued even after my run-in with the vampire woman and her subsequent death. 

And the matter had gotten far worse than it had been. While there had previously been no incidents, murder or otherwise, around where I lived, that had changed swiftly and to a degree that had been beyond upsetting.

Especially since I’d stepped out of my apartment building to head off to work one morning only to find officers across the road talking to the crying Felmier family.

It hadn’t taken me long to trot across the street, immediately wrapping my arm around Granny Felmier and softly questioning her while the officers talked to Epel’s distraught parents.

“What happened?” I’d looked down at the old woman worriedly as she’d hugged me tightly, pressing her face into my shoulder, before she at last pulled away and looked up at me with teary eyes.

“Epel’s gone.”

Her tear-choked words had almost caused my heart to stop right then and there as I went cold all over.

Epel. Epel was missing.

By now, it was a well-known fact in the neighborhood, with missing-person signs hanging on almost every wall. Constant reminders that my young friend had disappeared amid all the bloody murders that had been taking place.

I sighed slightly as I took the bags that Rook had insisted on carrying for me after he’d bumped into me at the store. A ‘pure and joyous coincidence,’ as he’d put it. But he and I both knew that wasn’t the case. 

I’d been seeing more and more of Rook since Epel went missing, which only made me feel more and more like the recent attacks in town had some sort of connection to the fact that vampires were after me. 

The only question was, why now? What had changed?

I was still living in this same area that Vil had declared his zone, so if this was a vampire, they weren’t afraid of challenging Vil at the very least.

There was something going on in the neighborhood that Rook wasn’t telling me. And with the knowledge that he was a vampire hunter, whatever Rook was hiding couldn’t be good.

I could only hope that his suspicions and my fears weren’t true. Because if the vampires were the ones causing the numerous missing persons along with the murders, then Epel…..

The thought of him being attacked by vampires sent a pang of worry coursing through me. 

It was probably for the best that I’d bumped into Rook, though. Vil probably would’ve had something to say if he’d found out I’d been out shopping after dark on my own, despite the potential risks.

I glanced at Rook clandestinely, wishing I could ask him about everything but knowing he wouldn’t answer. Rook had many secrets, only one of which had been his status as a vampire hunter.

“Thanks again for carrying my bags, Rook, though you really didn’t have too,” Despite my words, I knew exactly what response was coming as Rook looked over at me fondly.

“Non, non, Trickster! I could never let you carry your own bags when I am here,” He smiled blissfully, and I shook my head slightly at his grandiose words. So like him in an undeniably comforting manner. Almost like he knew exactly how much time I’d been spending preoccupied with my own fears and concerns for Epel.

I waved slightly before turning to go and head into the apartments. But I only made it a little ways before I froze in place without even rounding the corner and coming into sight of the doorway to the apartment building. 

I stared wide-eyed at what, or rather who, was kneeling by the wall, trembling from the cold with a blood-stained scarf wrapped around his throat.

I would recognize that soft-looking, pale purple hair anywhere.

I breathed out his name in both relief that the missing boy had been found and fear that stemmed from the sight of blood on his person, “Epel.”

He flinched and looked up slowly, a glazed look to his large blue eyes that had me going tense all over. Something was definitely wrong. Something that had me feeling oddly chilled to my innermost core. But all I really knew was that he needed help.

I dropped my bags and dashed towards him, “Epel! What happened? Are you hur-”

My words ended harshly in a shriek as I was yanked backwards, just in time to be pulled away from Epel’s sudden wild dive. He stopped short, staring at me with bared fangs as he hissed, his fingers curling into his palm in an almost inhuman way.

And I stared in horror, my eyes wide as I gazed at him. But this wasn’t the Epel I knew… The short-tempered but sweet young man who was always holding open doors and greeting me with a wide smile.

This one was…

Rook’s solemn, almost cold words said it before I could even finish the thought, “He’s not human anymore, Trickster… And he’s at his limit.”

My blood had turned to ice in my veins the very instant I’d registered the fangs that now replaced the boy’s once-human canines. And yet a part of me still didn’t want to believe the truth, even as it stared me in the face, “But he…”

I trailed off, my voice cracking slightly, and Rook’s grip on me tightened slightly before he gently turned me so that I was no longer facing the once-human boy. 

My eyes were wide, even though the only thing I could see was the fabric of Rook’s coat as he rubbed my back soothingly and murmured words that I hardly even noticed.

 I was oddly unable to cry. Instead, that frigid numbness that started in my veins now seemed to spread throughout me in an almost condemning way.

Epel was a vampire now. And even though I didn’t know how, some small part of me whispered that it was my fault. 

I’d known that vampires were after me, and yet I’d still lived so close to other people. Rook had told me that vampires were the ones causing the murders, but I’d stayed. I’d let myself believe that Vil’s words would be enough to drive away other vampires. And now it was my fault that Epel was cursed in such a way.

“Y/n?” I froze at the quiet, hesitant voice that I recognized all too well. Rook’s motions had stopped, and he let me turn but kept a steady grip on my shoulder as I made eye contact with the now-lucid-looking Epel.

“Y/n… I didn’t…?” He trailed off, his voice cracking weakly as he looked down at his hands with wide, too-wet eyes.

My heart began to break as tears began to trail down his pale face, and he shook his head, burying his face in his hands as he broke.

His muffled sobs were like reality’s way of smacking me in the face. There was no going back after this. My life was that of someone who was surrounded by vampires and who knew what other monsters. 

Even those who were close to me weren’t safe.

I attempted to start forward, to go and comfort the crying boy, even though it was my fault he was like this, but Rook wouldn’t let me go. Instead, he held me tightly to his side as he responded in a quiet, remorseful tone, “They are unhurt, Monsieur Cherry Apple. You did not bite them.”

The young man lifted his head, sniffing slightly, “That’s good, I thought…. I was afraid….” He trembled slightly before crumpling forward.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n…” His voice broke even as he continued to speak. Apologies spilling from his mouth even though I was the one who was truly at fault here, “I didn’t mean to, I’m just…. I’m so hungry, but I can’t… I won’t…!” 

He shook his head, his hands curling into trembling fists on the pavement as I attempted to swallow the raw feeling in my throat that was slowly trying to choke off my ability to speak.

Rook inhaled slightly but nodded, rubbing my shoulder and giving it a squeeze before at last letting go, “He hasn’t lost his way yet, but… He needs to eat. I'm going to take him with me.” 

Rook’s green eyes met mine, a concerned and serious look in their green depths that told me he’d had the same thoughts that were currently threatening to overwhelm me. Epel hadn’t been a target. He’d just been unfortunate enough to live near me.

When Rook spoke again, his voice was solemn, “You need to go inside and not let anyone enter, Trickster.”

He carefully knelt, carefully collecting Epel, even though he was putting himself at risk by bodily supporting a starving vampire. But he hardly seemed concerned about that; instead, his eyes stayed on mine, “I will send Roi du Poison to you. Until then, stay inside and stay safe.”

His gaze softened slightly as he glanced down at Epel and then back to me, “He will be alright. I promise you.”

I distantly nodded as I let that numbness swallow me whole. Freezing my emotions and allowing my brain to take over.

 I would handle my grief and guilt later, when I was alone. When Epel wouldn’t see me shatter to a billion pieces over the horror I’d brought into his life. 

His now immortal life.

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[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Hellow, i just reblogged that post about the cauldron loving elain and I have been seized with a need to figure out what the hell is going on with that so I shall read one (1) chapter if acomaf to bring me closer to my goal. For the record, I did know about the cauldron loving elain and hating nesta because idk, nesta was angry and annoying when she was dunked into it but elain was just so sweet and demure about it probably, i did not think it was. romantic love. but this is a sjm book so I was foolish to assume there would be a male character whos not insanely horny. Actually, is the cauldron even male? He is in the german version but thats just bc the word cauldron is masculine grammatically. Quick someone draw like, a tumblr sexyman humanized version of the cauldron. actually no, tumblrsexymen are traditionally twinks and sjm hates those. Quick someone draw like, a super buff shirtless man with golden hair, or whatever the color of the cauldron is

anyway, PREVIOUSLY ON: THE FLAMES AND DARKNESS LIVEBLOG we had the Court on Nightmares Under The Mountain Reenactment Scene as I like to call it and can we talk about how Feyre has known Rhys for like a year and only liked him for like half a year and yet she was perfectly fine sitting in his lap nacked and letting herself be sexualized by him. Like, I dont even have any kind of sexual trauma, you would still need to build up sooooo many years of friendship and good will for me to do that for you and you would NOT be allowed to jerk me off!! whatever, lets get on with this, its time for chapter 43

I hate that Rhysand is being all like "i shouldnt have brought you, i didnt want you to see this side of me" when its like, buddy you didnt have to do all this shit you couldve just walked in an been like "Im your high lord and demand your orb" and they wouldve given it to you because youre their high lord and youre demanding their orb. And if he thought they wouldnt have given it to him, he couldve easily come up with a different distraction he just went with the one that sexualizes Feyre because hes weirdo. Like, if hes so cruel on every other day then he shouldve acted really nicely, greeted Keir by giving him the biggest hug and being like "uncleeeee!! :D long time no see :)" and Feyre should have been dressed up as like, the embodiment of spring in pastel green soft shades of pink and but Rhysand still treats with the utmost kindness and respect, now that would throw the Hewn City for a loop

Okay so the reason Rhys broke keirs arm is because the word 'whore' triggered him which is understandable but like, Feyre thought of herself as the Highlords Whore in a very deliberate parallel to Rhysand being known as Amarantha's Whore and Im pretty sure she even straightup thought something about being in the position he had for so many years but she was like, horny about it and the narrative just isnt acknowledging it. Like, theyre not talking about it even though their mindlink was presumably open the whole time bc I remember them flirting through the link, and Feyre isnt even like "oh man, I feel bad for thinking that when its so upsetting to him" its so weird

Rhysand basically said "I will never try to protect you by locking you away, instead I will protect you by killing anyone who upsets you, even when they dont actually upset you and they just upset me" like he and Tamlin are not fundamentally any different from each other, its just that Rhysand is a coldblooded murderer. but its fine cuz he wears black leather i guess

I just realized. Rhysand had a boner when Feyre was sitting in his lap. did that go away when he broke Keirs arm or did he walk out of that meeting with his dick fully hard

Listen, maybe its just because its 3am and Im a little sleepdeprived but this conversation barely makes any sense, these bozos are just completely talking past each other at this point

Rhysand just said something about how Tamlin just locked Feyre up and let her waste away and almost die and Feyre was gonna say "He was trying his best" but Rhys interrupted her like "Dont compare me to him, stop comparing us" when she didnt say anything about that ??? my guy is projecting so hard rn he thinks theyre having a conversation that theyre not even having

And like i would argue that Feyre doesnt even compare Rhysand and Tamlin that much, the narrative definitely does it a LOT, but Ive been reading Feyres thoughts throughout this whole ordeal and I feel like she barely even thought about Tamlin since she sent him that letter

This scene is supposed this big turning point for their relationship and its clearly meant to be really emotional but the only emotion i can feel rn is annoyance with Rhysand because its like, he did have genuinely traumatic things that happened to him but not only is he barely affected by any of them, those are not even the things that the narrative brings up whenever its trying to get me to sympathise with him instead its always just "whaaaaaaa everyone thinks Im nasty and evil just because i keep doing nasty and evil things T-T"

Feyre is being very cruel but in a kinda funny way because its directed at Rhysand rn, i would insert the quote but I am in no state to translate anything at the moment but shes basically like "of course you have to hide your true self from your friends, they wouldnt wanna hang out with otherwise, you burden"

Idk why but the prose being like "my arrow struck him too deep" is so funny to me, it has the same energy as the vampire fics i read where the weird gay one gets his heart broken and he goes "it wouldve hurt less if he staked me in the heart"

Feyre is like "i cant believe he was so vulnerable and shared his sorrows with me and just threw all of it in his face" and I could not give less of a shit, but ive been on a big emotional abuse kick lately so now Im thinking about what if Feyre was just faking having feelings for Rhys in order to make him fall in love with her and be vulnerable with her only to then tell him the truth and reject the mating bond and make him completely break down as revenge for UTM. now that would actually be empowering

Now Feyre is thinking about how shes been using Rhysand for a long time now and come onnnnnn there is such a big power difference between them, I genuinely think its basically impossible for her to do that. Like, hes the most powerful guy in the history of guys or whatever, if anything you were doing bothered him that much he could simply make you stop doing it. hm. now Im thinking about what if rhysand was actually a huge masochist. Now that would actually be hot

Feyre is talking about how all the members of the inner circle suffered and are traumatized and theyve all learned to live with it and, not to extend too much sympathy to Rhysand, but all of the ICs major traumatic events happened centuries ago, his traumatic event happened one (1) year ago and it lasted 49 years i think its gonna take a little more time till hes all better

ughhhhhhh dont remind me of Amrens stupid romance subplot im gonna kill myself

Starfall is called Die Nacht der fallenden Sterne [the night of the calling stars] in german which is so much cooler and more whimsical, shoutout to my gal pal Alexandra Ernst for attempting to reinsert atleast a little bit of whimsy into this joyless world

Also, apparently its expected that Rhysand spend the first starfall in fifty years with his people, his people in this case referring to the Verlarians in the city that no one knows exists and not the people living in his courts actual capital. then again, i guess those bozos are all trapped under a mountain and wouldnt be able to watch it anyway so who cares

Amren said "hes not lucky to have us, we're lucky to have him" like yeah, hes paying you all exorbitant salaries just for being his buddies

God, amrens jacking rhys off so hard rn I cant believe she didnt wanna have sex with him when he asked

btw Im not even gonna dignify all that vaguely meta bullshit about how Tamlin is the golden prince and rhysand is the villain in the stories but the villain in stories is the guy who locks maidens away in towers and rhys freed her with anx kind of commentary because its just stupid, its just sjm bashing you over the head with how subversive she is when Tamlin and Rhysand are basically the same guy with different aesthetics at this point, like Feyre is not making a choice between the goodboy hero and the badboy villain, shes making a choice between a Bad Boy with a Heart of Gold (green) and a Bad Boy with a Heart of Gold (black)

[my-elder-scrolls-shit]

I've been replaying skyrim and- "Uh oh, Aph! Are you getting philosophical about a mid game that you've played 80 billion times now?" Yes, of course I am. Now, my take of the day is Astrid gets a bad rap in the fandom

If you have personal qualms for whatever reason with her (Cicero fan, upset she got everyone killed, her voice, whatever it may be), that's totally fine! However! I just finished the dbh quest line again, and she's honestly not as terrible as we've been painting her, I feel.

When you first join, she's pretty attentive - clearly keeping an eye on you because you're new, but as you prove yourself and she can worry less, she seems to almost losen up. I do think she asks you to do things that she wouldn't ask anyone else because she's testing you or because you're new and she's not as attached yet, but its clear she has some kind if concern for you and your safety. Especially when the Nightmother incident happens, and she thinks Cicero might have attempted to hurt you. Then shit hits the fan (in her eyes)

Now, here's something that might sound strange - I don't think she decides to sell you out until the last possible minute. Why would she ask you to find her husband otherwise? Why would she keep sending you out to further the plot against the emperor and keep rewarding you? These are shows of trust- and while maybe some could be seen as implicating you further as the sole thorn in the side of the emperor, again, why send you to kill Cicero- to help Abjorn? Someone she loves and cares for deeply? Why not send someone more experienced?

I think maybe her paranoia ramps up after the Cicero incident for sure- she gets more flighty and decides right around when you are going to kill the emperor, when things are seriously about to change, does she panic. I mean, imagine you've led a group for years and some stranger you brought into your family like last week, and a jester who brought a sacred corpse with him is claiming the stranger is supposed to be the faction leader and the only one who can hear the dead lady's voice! That's a shit deal! What the fuck!

If something goes wrong, everything will go wrong. She's probably not had a lot of control in her life previously (note: her story about her uncle making "unwanted advances" makes me think maybe it's something that had been happening and she finally decided to kill him after snapping but she definitely glosses over it very quickly in favor of being murder happy which is understandable) and now that control is once again slipping and everyone else can see she's paranoid (multiple members comment on it if you talk to them before hopping in the Nightmothers coffin the first time) so it's not a big surprise that you, the threat to her status quo and control, seem like the one to take out

And it all goes to shit! And she seems so desperately and genuinely sorry on her death bed - everyone she loved and cared for is dead, mind you. This is a woman who has lost everything and is now begging to die for a greater good and a desperate apology to you and to the people she's hurt. The game clearly doesn't want you to forgive her (based on the dialog options it presents), but i wish we could at least say something kind. But I that might just be me

[bratty-metalhead]

Headcanons for Special Ghoul Phil?

I fucking love Phil. I miss him.

I don't have the time to put these into picture format, but I'll answer them in text!

[I don't have any kind of fact in the lore to back up any of this shit lol roll with me here. A lot of this is driven by... personal feelings]

Nothing NSFW here, it's just long because I'm an author and don't know how to shut up.

He was a little insecure about his position as the "spokesperson" for the Ghost project and the Clergy.

He didn't think he deserved to be the person who spoke for the entire project. In fact, when they were first coming up with the idea of appointing a "spokesperson" outside of Sister Imperator, Special's suggestion was that the position to go to whoever was the current sitting Papa... He quickly figured out that the reason she didn't like this idea was because she thought she couldn't control the Papa's the same way she could control the Ghoul's. (Another part of it is how much of a fuck up Nihil was when he was in charge of speaking for the Clergy).

He ISN'T the one who killed the other Papa's, and didn't have a hand in it AT ALL.

He gets very upset when this is even mentioned. Special was very close to all of the Papa's and worked with them all closely, but he was especially close with Terzo. At the time that the murders happened, he wasn't at the Ministry. In fact, many of the Ghouls weren't "on campus" that day... And now, of course, we know why. No one is completely sure who did it, though the rumor is that either a Ghoul was summoned specifically for the sake of doing Sister's bidding, one of the "old Ghouls" (since a few of them left of their own accord shortly after; we're looking at you, Alpha, Air, Water, and Earth), or someone in a Ghoul mask that wasn't actually a Ghoul. No one knows, and not for a lack of trying.

For a while, he was isolated from the other Ghoul's and Ghoulette's because of his position as the "mouthpiece".

There was a lot of jealousy back in those days (again, LOOKING AT YOU Alpha, Air, Water, and Earth, ya fuckers), and for a while, he wasn't welcomed in the Ghoul's wing of the Ministry. There was also a lot of jealousy related to how close Special was with the Papa's. Rumor swirled about why he was allowed to talk to the public while the others were sworn to secrecy and silence, or that he would be spying on the Ghouls and reporting things he said back to Sister. In reality, he hates Sister and spent a good portion of his time mocking her with the Papa's.

He's actually a very talented musician, and felt a little hurt that he wasn't selected to be in the touring band.

He can sing, and he can play guitar. He was selected for his position based on his knowledge of the Clergy, and the devotion he had to them previously. But what he really wanted was to be in the band, because he thought that was a better way to spread the message.

He's an avid vinyl collector.

It's his favorite thing to do. He says music sounds more authentic that way, with the clicks and pops and scratches. He especially likes records that are harder to find or more rare. Special has been found multiple times lying on his floor, staring up at the ceiling, listening to one of his records and drowning out the world around him.

He's still at the Ministry, though he very much works behind the scenes now.

And usually, he's helping Copia. Special and Copia first met shortly after the other Papa's deaths, an accidental meeting in the Ministry's library, both in shock and mourning over what happened. Copia would then be pushed into the spotlight as the "next in line" to be Papa, and Special fell back into the shadows, refusing to be associated with being the public face of the Clergy any longer. However, in the background, he was assisting Copia and showing him the ropes now that his brothers were no longer around to do so. Remember, he worked closely enough with the Papa's that he had intimate knowledge about their jobs... And the things that the boys did to sneak around Sister's influence.

He is very devout in his worship of Satan, but no longer holds true allegiances to the Clergy.

Because... Fuck them. Previously, he thought they were doing good through their message and that his views aligned with theirs. However, it didn't take long after the transference of power from Primo to Secondo for Special to figure out just how fucked up things were behind the scenes. He saw first-hand how little power the Papa's truly had, how much they put up with from Sister. And the more he figured out that she was the driving force manipulating everyone and everything in the Ministry, and more he worked on the side of the people who don't agree with her methods.

The "New Ghouls" are much more accepting of him than the "Old Ghouls"... With the exception of Omega.

Omega is chill and, with an exception of a few others, was one of the only Ghoul's from the "old group" who gave Special a chance. Let's be real here--it's because he was so close to the other Papa's himself, and because of his relationship with Terzo, giving him the same unique perspective that Special had about the way that the Clergy was really being ran. And on top of that, he understood how important it was to not expose the other Ghoul's to certain truths that they just didn't respect. However, with the "new" Ghoul's and Ghoulette's, because Copia wasn't raised within the direct line to the Papacy, he got to know many of the newly-conjured Ghouls on a deeper level than his brothers were ever given the chance to. (They knew their Ghouls, yes, but they were watched much closer than Copia was... With the exception of Terzo, who did everything in his power to piss off Sister). Because of this, the new Ghouls didn't have the same bias against Special, and were much more accepting of him.

He's very passionate about various social issues, especially when it comes to sexual freedom and freedom of religion.

And man, did he piss of Sister with some of his opinions. Rarely did he stay "on script", starting when Secondo was Papa and he was allowed to really speak, but especially ramping up when Terzo took on the Papacy. He made a point of going around to people in the Clergy, asking them if they had anything he wanted to say. One of his favorite things to do was ask the Papa's about their opinions related to Ministry affairs, and put his own spin on them when he was allowed to talk to the public. He would also through in his own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. And it pissed Sister off to no end that (1) she'd hired him for the roll and (2) if she did anything about it, the Papa's would flip their shit, so for a long time, her hands were tied. (That is, of course, until she decided that the only choice she had was to murder them).

These days, he can mostly be found teaching in the Clergy's private school.

You better believe this was a calculated move, egged on by Copia. Copia himself had been very dedicated to the Clergy's education when he was still a Cardinal, given that he'd experienced the world of the children in the Clergy first-hand, not part of the "royal treatment" his brothers had, due to him being this "hidden secret" for the first half of his life. After the Papa's were murdered, Special conspired with Copia to come up with an alternative curriculum that would start to plant the seeds of the truth about the Clergy with these kids, and show them the way things should be, not the way that Sister wants them to be. He likes to teach the religious courses, and he has a heavy hand in music education, as well.

[sillygoofyqueer]

Here’s my review of chapt. 15 of losing hope!!! I’m sorry it’s so late! Slide has kinda been kicking my ass lately tho your stories do make it significantly better (probably gonna do a reread soon) ANYHOW, on with my thoughts

Wwx and LQR’s interactions are so painfully awkward but that’s kinda what makes it adorable. LQR being like “he’s clearly hurt and has been through some shit. I should help” meanwhile Wwx is like “he hates me and I shouldn’t do anything to piss him off” and then they get started bonding over music and get significantly more comfortable and FOUR YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WAS SCREAMING OF HAPPINESS!! Legitimately I was a little scared someone would ask what was going on because how do I explain that I’m making noises like I’m dying because of two fictional characters in my friend’s fic that are bonding?? Especially with the confusion on WWX’s part. Ugh it’s so bittersweet and I love reading every second of it.

Wwx talking to LQR about more serious things and reflecting on how things went when he was a kid. Also LQR pointing out that all WWX wanted was to be seen and then Wwx being like ‘how did you know that?? You’re not wrong but…’ . UGH, HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT WRITING THIS???

Wwx getting the approval of LQR was not on my bingo card but I will 100% take it and enjoy every second of it. I really enjoy fics where LQR realizes he kinda fucked up all those years ago and makes an effort to make it up to WWX and LWJ in his own way and your fic has done that spectacularly. Especially with talking abt baby LWJ because dear LORD, THAT SOUNDS ADORABLE.

The whole thing with Suibian had me and still has me in tears. I hope you know that.

The little interlude with the juniors going to what I assume is Puqi shrine is fucking hilarious. Especially with HC just standing there like :3 while Jin Ling is freaking out.

10/10 chapter and is probably in the running for my favorite so far. Thank you for writing and as always I wish I could give you more kudos. Also please remember to take breaks and take care of yourself!!

DON'T EVEN APOLOGISE!!! I can completely relate and I'm just glad to see you in my inbox - I mean, it would be hypocritical of me to be upset because this has been sat in my inbox for a little itty bit as well. ANYWHOSLES, I'm literally so giggly because I can make Lan Qiren feel remorse for what happened and NOBODY CAN STOP ME. It would make sense to me that they'd bond over music because Wei Wuxian had to use it to survive and loves it, and Lan Qiren should be a big fan of it because he's proud of the Lan Clan. Meaning he's proud of their musical cultivation, so of course he has an ear for music! Even if he wants to pretend it's all for cultivation, he loves it really. So they get to bond over it!! You know I have to slide in little bits of angst and you KNOW I love making him be called out over things he knows are true like '😧 what do you MEAN you can be remorseful and understand my point of view??!!?' He's not used to that stuff, it's scary. Lan Qiren, on the other hand, can be introspective over the years - he thinks about it idly because Wei Wuxian (to his knowledge) is dead, so there is naught that can be done no matter what he finds out. Until there is. I'm coming at it from the idea of a sympathetic Lan Qiren that didn't learn about Lan Wangji's crush through Lan Wangji actively defying him and squaring up against his own clan to defend a violent, abhorrent demonic cultivator that has just murdered people in grief-stricken fury. I dunno about you, but I do genuinely think it would help the situation because of previously mentioned points. Now he's just exasperated and determined to embarrass Lan Wangji as payback for walking in on them making out. Subian and Wei Wuxian's relationship will literally never not mean everything to me and them reuniting is also everything to me. They deserve it, goddamn it. I'm glad you liked the interlude, I myself was wondering what was going on with them and so decided to write about it - yes, of course Hua Cheng is being a little shit, like "resentful energy? Could not be me." Fun fact, Lan Sizhui playing Inquiry is actually why Hua Cheng wandered into the shrine (he was supposed to be shopping for more gifts for gege, and heard the call). How will Jin Ling deal with Jiujiu showing up? Will Jiang Cheng actually pop a blood vessel out of rage? How will Wei Wuxian deal with training with a sword for the first time in years upon years? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER SIXTEEN!!!! (I'm glad you enjoyed chapter fifteen, I was worried that it didn't feel right, if that makes sense.) I love you so much, and hope you feel better soon!!!!!

[whoviandoodler]

Issues I've had with MFMM S3 in the most recent rewatch, or: an incomplete and incoherent rambling about some of the things that really annoyed me about it

I've recently finished rewatching miss fisher's murder mysteries for some 5th-10th time since I originally saw it years and years ago on FOX Crime or wherever and it's been a completely different experiences to previous rewatches. I have to assume because I grew up quite a lot so things that used to rub me the wrong way until I was raw no longer hold the same sway over me, but I found scenes previously unbearable perfectly fine to watch (annoying, but nothing especially enraging), and characters that I despised merely unlikable. In short, it was as immensely entertaining as before without certain hindrances, and the main attractions (jack and phryne's relationship, the found family, amazing acting and fun mysteries) were no less attractive.

However, I also developed an issue with the third season. Prior to rewatching the show (while I was still trying to convince myself i totally wouldn't go back in the 30+ hrs runtime trenches), I rewatched an analysis I'd seen years ago (possibly around my previous rewatch, knowing covid time) made by a creator whose work I like, and she dedicated a section of the video to some of the things that bothered her about the last season. I was a bit confused, to be perfectly honest, because I didn't remember being at all bothered with it the last time I watched it, and certainly not with the things she mentioned (and more importantly, I had no issues with the writing).

And then, uh, I got to the third season on the rewatch. And at first I was like, ok, this is perfectly fine. A little bit odd in certain moments, but not all that bad. And then the problems kept piling and piling through the seasons, and I kept pacing and pacing and noticing more and more things about it that bothered me.

The main problem, and I imagine the reason my then-self didn't really notice anything (apart from my all-encompassing rage at hugh collins that blinded me to anything else), is that the character writing isn't outright Bad. Like, it's not the kind of bad where you throw your TV out the window because how dare they do that to your blorbos, but it is the kind of bad that festers in your show loving heart until it forms 'It's plausible that they might do that kind of... I guess?' It's the kind of bad that takes a bit of thinking to figure out why your brow furrowed in this or that scene until it smoothed out.

So let's talk about that scene in s3e1 where jack does his 'i'm not part of the parade' monologue, the thing that bothered the analyst but that I distinctly remembered being silly and entertaining. I mean, he gets drunk and goes on a tirade over a misunderstanding while phryne stands there baffled, unsure whether she should laugh or not. This is where the 'i guess?' starts, because like, absolutely, it's not the first time in the show he's been jealous, nor the first time he's been incredulous or eye-rolly when he finds out phryne's had a dalliance with this or that man. It's plausible that all those sentiments would come out the way they did with alcohol involved and after being stood up twice, first for what was possibly supposed to be their first foray into more serious territory, and then again that night. It's not a scene that paints him in a favourable light, but that's not in and of itself an issue, he's got his faults and that's one of the things that make him interesting to watch. But arriving on the heels of the caustic remarks and biting sarcasm and refusing to listen to phryne at all to the point that she got borderline upset hours before, it felt less silly and in character and more like a nail hammered one time too many.

It set a trend too for the rest of the season, and not a nice one. All those jealousy scenes created two situations- the first, where phryne would respond indignantly and in character to how she'd been in previous seasons, on the rare occasion he'd actively made a remark (was it even more than once? i can't remember); and the second, where phryne would run after him, explaining that 'it wasn't like that', like she was cheating on him. The second option was especially hard to watch because their reactions genuinely read like she'd done something wrong when that wasn't the case at all, and like the analyst said the narrative went so far as to shame her with that moment at the air base fence (for the first time in the show! previously jack's reactions had been light-hearted and phryne had responded in kind, usually saying something witty or teasing him; the second they became that of the betrayed partner, it got a sour note).

For the sake of adding drama and an unnecessary explanation as to why they haven't railed each other yet, the show killed the wonderful dynamic they'd rocked thus far, that of very close friends who are attracted to each other and probably in love but who haven't quite decided what to do about it yet.

It was like the show lost all faith in it's audience to imagine the reasons behind their reluctance, to understand their characters, to believe this truly outrageous (/s) situation of two friends in love who don't get together (yet). Like it's not a tale as old as time for people to be afraid romantic involvement with their friends might ruin that friendship, and choosing not to take the risk. Like we don't know that phryne has never had a serious relationship, and that jack has never had anything but; that her dalliances with other men are all about sating her curiosity about different people's lives and minds and pleasure, that she firmly embodies the rich aristocrat and keeps the little collingwood girl firmly on the other side of the door; that he stayed in a failed marriage for ten years because he's always serious about the people he loves, that he nearly married concetta because he cared about her and didn't want her to be married off again to somebody cruel.

And speaking of lack of faith, did they think we needed to be reminded every five minutes in various clear-cut and glaringly obvious ways that they love each other? Like we know! We're watching the show! We don't need guido and concetta and the greek chorus to slap the note in our face. This isn't a children cartoon and they didn't suddenly fall in love in s3e1 for the entire cast to lay on the horns, we've been watching them fall in love through every touch and look. Honestly, there was more subtlety in sanderson's 'you do indeed keep close company these days' than the entire italian episode.

The entire thing felt like they were insinuating that the second phryne and jack try for something serious the entire thing falls apart, and they go from dear friends to a reddit post. Despite all their surface differences, the reason they're in love is their deep-seated belief in truth and justice, and the reason they're as close as they are is that they don't keep things from each other and they communicate. I don't think it's in character, or even worse, I feel like it's a very sad choice of character path for them to lose their whimsy and trust the second they delve into the romantic, like it's a whole different thing and not just a different lens through which to experience the intimacy they already share. I would've much preferred that they'd either continued their whimsical friendship until the last episode, or even that they'd gone down the vulnerable road of talking more about their respective issues; frankly, i would've settled for a long term friendship over the mess that they ended up creating (I'm queer, I can sustain myself on subtext).

That area of jack writing aside, what the hell did they do to my boy's murder solving skills? I swear, there were at least a couple episodes where he didn't contribute anything to the investigation, or he did so little it was imperceptible.

In s2e9 (the cinema one, i think that was the number) I distinctly remember phryne laying out what she thought happened (at the very beginning when they found the body) and jack staying silent and giving her a besotted look, and afterwards hugh saying it matched what jack had surmised earlier. This was amazingly done, because it very economically established 1. that jack had already done the clever bit 2. that they agreed fully so there was no need for their usual back and forth, and most importantly after their huge, sad rift had just been surmounted, 3. that he was incredibly happy to be working with her again because he loves listening to the cogs turning in her head and watching her be clever.

There was none of that attention to detail in those s3 episodes, he was just... not involved. Phryne would lay everything out and then they'd leave, and that was it. It felt wild to witness because in different scenes he acted as he always did, like their dynamic was the same as always. I didn't get the impression that he was having a bad day, or not in the mood, because in writing those things need to have some significance or note, and here it was just there. Not noticed, not significant, not anything; fully like they'd forgotten that they put him in the shot and thus gave him no lines.

I really can't explain how much it irked me because the main appeal of the show isn't the murder investigations, as fun and clever as they are, it's the relationships between characters. The point of the narrative shouldn't be solving the crime, it should be all the things that happen while it's being solved.

In short- how dare they rob me of the sparks of phryne and jack exchanging theories and opinions?! That's what I'm here for! The sexual tension isn't just the looks and touches, it's what preceded them and keeps them so fresh and electric- it's them standing over a body or in the morgue or in her parlour and being clever at each other and with each other, the push of sharing an opinion and the pull of daring the other person to catch up with you by giving them only the raw information, the resonance of interacting with someone who's on even footing with you.

It's like 3 am and I've tired myself out so I'll stop here. Obvious disclaimer for anyone who might see this is that this is based on my impression of the show and i won't go back to watch just the bad parts solely to write a coherent, sourced analysis (aka I'm going off the things that left an impact on me, they might not be given the most screentime or note), and that this is still a favourite show and not meant to be an indictment of the whole thing (I only get so annoyed bcs i like it otherwise).

[tower-of-hana]

Brianna Ghey Trial Day 2 CliffNotes

legal disclaimer: Because British people are the most fragile people in the world, they have made a law that says if you ever analyze an ongoing legal case then that's grounds for a mistrial. As a result I am required to state that none of the following text is editorializing. Now obviously this is a breach of my rights and normally as an American I would respond to it with tar and feathers that would be logistically hard for me to do so I guess I'll follow the rules.

I don't remember if this happened day 1 but X expressed an interest in eating people

X wrote a note detailing her plan to kill Brianna

X was previously charged for vandalism

X said she was excited to stab Brianna

Brianna told X "Girl, Ima wait where I am until we have drugs lol. I’m too anxious" on snapchat

she sent a message to her friend saying that X was weird and that she suspected that X did not really have a dealer

X had made a fake Snapchat account (rowan.innit1) for a fake dealer named Nathan as a pretense to lure Brianna to the park (this was their plan to kill E)

She sent herself messages back and forth pretending to be Nathan until Brianna asked her where she was

This is when the killing occurred

X an Y dumped Brianna's phone in a drain

Y was seen in CCTV footage after the murder wiping something red from his hands

The wounds Brianna sustained were unsurvivable

Y said he was worried about getting caught and X reassured him that the police there were "shite"

Y searched "how to combat anxiety" on the internet

When the news reported on the murder X looked it up and shared info with her friends

X found out from O(♂︎) that the murder made national news and was worried

X deleted all her previous Snapchat messages to Brianna and sent her one that said: “Girl, is everything okay? And some teenage girl got killed in linear park its on news everywhere. And why did you ditch us for some random man from Manchester. Like wtf. That is so f****d up.” trying to construct an alibi

X posted a tribute to Brianna on Snapchat with the picture of Brianna at the bench eating chocolate

X told her mother that Brianna was a friend who ditched her and Y to talk to a boy and never came back she had expressed concern about this to Y and he started an argument with her because he didn't like Brianna

acting on this info her mother called the police and X told this story to the police

The police arrested X and Y and searched their homes and phones

they found a knife in X's house but the only blood on it was hers

They found muddy shoes and a jacket in Y's room with Brianna's blood on them

Scientists think that this means Y was close to Brianna while she was being stabbed

The murder weapon had Y's DNA on it along with Brianna's blood

X was interrogated and told the police her earlier story adding that she was really upset about Brianna's death

She said she had blocked Y on Whatsapp until he told the truth about the murder

Y was interrogated and told police that they met with Brianna and walked into a forest and X stabbed Brianna three times in a forest while he was using the bathroom

He said he turned around and went to see if Brianna was alive, getting blood on his hands in the process

X ran away and he panicked and ran after her

He said he washed his hands prior to touching the knife and made no comment when police asked him why there was blood on the blade

He said she did this because she felt that Brianna was interfering in her personal life

He said he went along with her attempts to come up with an alibi because he was scared of her

he said he cut contact with her

he said he didn't believe her about the killing people thing and went along with it because he wanted to be liked

he said X hadn't frightened him before she murdered Brianna

he said everything he did leading up to the murder were just jokes

police could not access Brianna's phone

[hurtmionedanger]

Hey bestie don't be shy

top 5 favorite podcast characters and why

YOU EXPECT ME TO PICK???? PICK BETWEEN MY BELOVED GUYS???????

I am going to try to diversify beyond the magnus archives, mostly because dbd has had me in a death choke recently

With that being said, in no particular order

1. The Obituary writer from Death by Dying

Hes such an icon, normal guy and yet so so so very weird, his best friend is the angel of death, his other best friend is in his freezer and her still beating heart is on his desk, everyone thinks he’s going to kill someone one of these days based on looks alone, he has a questionable taste in fashion, hes bisexual, he has three man eating cats, he solves murders just like as a hobby, he is the most sopping wet pathetic wet cat of a man you could ever hope to meet, he is silly, what more could you possibly want from a man?

2. Jonathan Jarchivist, see prior post about this man he is so ridiculous, mf ACCIDENTALLY STARTED THE APOCALYPSE, He has been kidnapped more then princess peach, he is the eyes special little boy, hes ASEXUAL LIKE ME FRFR, he has a boyfriend who loves him very much, he likes good cows, hot singles in his area want to hunt him for sport, hes the saddest little meow meow there could possibly be.

3. Timothy stoker, managed to convey he was wearing a hawaiian shirt by voice alone, also THIS MAN IS THE ARCHIVES BRAINCELL, THE SLUTTY BISEXUAL IS THE BRAINCELL HERE WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT THE ARCHIVES, BECAUSE SASHA VERY MUCH IS NOT THE BRAINCELL SHE FOLLOWED A DEFINITELY NOT HUMAN GUY TO A RANDOM GRAVEYARD WITH VERY LITTLE FOLLOW UP AS TO WHY SHE NEEDED TO GO, AND JON DOESNT HAVE IT FOR PREVIOUSLY STATED REASONS, AND MARTIN IS MARTIN, MEANING TIM IS THE ONLY BRAINCELL HERE. Also as my boyfriend can attest, i have a thing for angry men in hawaiian shirts, i think theyre hot

4. Not technically a Guy persay, but the beloved michael distortion for having a sick ass voice and an even sicker statement, shows up and just stabs the archivist just because he can, he is literally the embodiment of gaslighting gatekeeping and girlbossing and his design is very cool really regardless of how people draw him but ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY DRAW HIM WITH LIKE SUPER DISTORTED JOINTS AND MULTIPLE FACES AND SHIT LIKE MMMMMMMMM, he gets bonus points for having excellent hair and not being a who but a what

Number five hhhh how do i pick between all of my beloved podcast guys, leaving out martin because i already screamed about Why i love Martin Knife Blackwood Already

5. Georgie Barker I think has to go here, maybe alongside helen and Melanie, i love them all for very different reasons but they are just such girlbosses, georgie just doesn’t feel fear, had an existential crisis so hard her brain stopped processing it, she is the girl ever, also shes jons ex, automatically getting her more points, she had a skin clown break into her apartment and fuck with her lights and the only reason she was upset was because it meant she had to replace all her lightbulbs, Also georgie has a podcast where she talks about ghosts, which is really funny to me, and i would absolutely listen to her podcast

Honorable mentions:

Helen for season 5 shenanigans of showing up whenever JMart were fighting because she wanted the Tea

Gerry Keay for his defining trait mentioned by every single statement giver who saw him being “Really shittily dyed hair” like imagine that being your legacy

[traumastories]

So, we aren't ready to talk about this quite yet in therapy, but I kinda want to share it here anyways. (We did previously share this on one of our blogs; please do not draw attention to that post or refer to it or anything. Just act like you never saw it before)

(We're a system, but at the time this happened, our host was unaware of this, so this is technically her story, but for clarity I'm going to tell it from just a general first person)

TW kinda graphic? / possibly unreality triggering/description of unreality trigger

When I was a young teenager, my sister told me that I had murdered our infant sister when I was a kid. I've always been really sensitive to unreality stuff and she was being a really good actor and I was actually starting to believe her.

She said that she, mom, and dad had all been in the other room when they were a noise like a muffled cry or something coming from the baby's room and they all ran to see me holding a pillow over the baby's face. Apparently her name was Lily. They told me to stop but I just looked up at them, smiling sweetly, and said, "No <3" She said that I was a "psychopath" and that they put me through intensive therapy to make me forget that it happened.

By this point I was very firmly telling her "Stop" and "No, I didn't" and similar things, but it was mostly because I was starting to panic that she was actually telling the truth this time. She ignored me and kept going with the story, even at one point lowering her gaze to the floor and saying "I miss her" in a heartbroken whisper.

I don't remember if I refuted it more or if I was just silent or what, but shortly after this she looked up smiling and admitted the whole thing was made up and it was just a joke. At the time, I* was too relieved to be upset and I made the mistake of trying to ease the tension by saying, "You almost had me/I almost believed you" or something (which was true).

She instantly reacted with "What! I/You did? No! Argh!" She kinda did one of those self-berating/self-frustrated gestures. "I guess I'll just have to try harder next time."

Fortunately, she didn't try to convince me of anything like this ever again (that we remember), but I was worried she would try for a long while after that. We sometimes still wonder if it was true anyways, or will question other things she's said to us (the narrator especially). It's awful and miserable not knowing if you can trust someone to actually tell you the truth, especially when you know they've purposely tried to get you to to believe a falsehood before.

When I told my mom about a month ago, she was horrified and that's when I found out my sister was abusive towards me!

*Me personally: I'm furious. The one this happened to, the one the story is written in the perspective of, isn't, but is upset by it. Just not mad, per se

.