anandrettisimp

[anandrettisimp]

So uh, if you want a new reason to hate AI, I have one for the F1 girlies.

Now as you may know, one of the new hip and horny things to do with AI is sex chats. Like there are sites that will have a bunch of different characters with AI generated images to represent them and you play out whatever sexual fantasy that you may have. Usually they’re one generic concepts like step-parent/stepchild, roommate, sugar mummy, orc ladies that will crush your head if you don’t eat her out right etc.

And, honestly, I have no issues with these fantasy, I read fanfics, I know what people can think up.

But apparently one site knows that folk are horny for a certain F1 driver.

Only we can’t have them be the a man because that would be too gay for the target audience.

So we made it into a transphobic fetish.

Yes, that’s right, this is a thinly disguised Charles Leclerc that you too can play your fantasies out to.

No you don’t even want to know what the fucking character image for her looked like.

And this is the only fucking blatant celebrity based character on this site.

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Oh anon, you clearly haven’t the desecration of Josef Newgarden’s reputation that’s been happening in IndyCar…

I dont care about how hard drivers are worked by the social media teams, or how they have to deal with journalists all the time, or oh they have to pretend to be besties with their teammates.

because 1) they’re getting paid crazy amounts of money + free shit and pr packages and 2) if they didn’t want the media attention they could’ve gone to any other series that has less media coverage.

.

Send us your unpopular F1 opinions!

[anandrettisimp]

Happy three year anniversary so the original “my team has announced me but I’m actually fucking off to McLaren” tweet.

No doubt Zak Brown is adding this fact to the on going lawsuit for emotional damage.

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“Scott Newgarden”

Listen, Tom, Tommy bud.

AT LEAST MAKE A FUCKING ATTEMPT

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So if you have IndyCar Live, and, if the session runs in time, it usually runs a couple of minutes after the session and, uh, this happened after practice today (rough transcript below):

Why? I always move people out of the way, I always get out of the fucking way. [too muffled] fuck sake [too muffled with Palou saying something back] you just fucked the whole session.

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I love how the F1 side of my TL on every platform I’m on is very mixed on Max to Mercedes rumours while my IndyCar side are all in agreement with wondering what the fuck was Off Track thinking with having [redacted] on.

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It was the only way to fully remove Ron Speak from the team.

mcl format their radio messages like they’re trying to hit a minimum word count on an essay

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Just Scottish Borders things

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And there it is still in McLaughlin’s bus too

So, when I went to Indy, I’d brought three highland cow teddies. For McLaughlin, Palou and Andretti Rossi’s children.

And I just saw this:

THAT’S LUCIA HOLDING THE TEDDY I GAVE TO ALEX ON THE PODIUM AFTER THE GRAND PRIX.

[anandrettisimp]

So some terrifying stats that came out of today’s episode of Off Track.

Alex Palou has five of the eight best average finishes at an indyCar race where a driver has competed at at least three times:

4 starts at Portland with an average of 4

3 starts at Toronto with an average of 4

5 starts at Long Beach with an average of 3.4

5 starts at Barber with an average of 2.8

4 starts at Laguna with an average of 1.75

Like this the dominance he has been showing is incredible and you don’t fully appreciate that it’s been the case for years.

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So, when I went to Indy, I’d brought three highland cow teddies. For McLaughlin, Palou and Andretti Rossi’s children.

And I just saw this:

THAT’S LUCIA HOLDING THE TEDDY I GAVE TO ALEX ON THE PODIUM AFTER THE GRAND PRIX.

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“Ed, why do you keep calling Will a lost puppy with a knife?”

[points above]

This why!

will power on why he rammed into kyle kirkwood in detroit [x]:

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FE: Okay, so, explain Canada again.

F1: Well I am trying to be more environmentally friendly so instead of Miami then Europe then back for Canada we’re just staying in North America.

FE: That’s great but there almost a month between the two races.

F1: I don’t understand what the proble-

NASCAR: You’ve ruined the best multi race day of the year! We had your fancy street race followed IndyCar with all of their traditions and then we ended the day with me with the action.

F1: Well, we can still do that.

FE: No we can’t.

F1: Why not?

NASCAR: Your race is at the same time as IndyCar’s! I’m bigger than them and I don’t even try that.

IndyCar: I tried that once against myself even, almost died of embarrassment.

F1: …oh…

WEC: I hope that means you’re not clashing with Le Mans as well next year IndyCar.

IndyCar: …

FE: Wait, IndyCar, how can you race against yourself?

IndyCar: Before your time child.

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When you go trawling through your previous tumblr and…

Only took 12 years.

[anandrettisimp]

I HAVE A PLOT TWIST ON THIS

So, when I was in the delta lounge my credit card hates me I ended up sitting with Thim and Teddy (that dog is disgustingly cut and fluffy) while waiting on the changing my flight out of Indy due to weather.

Beside talking about how weird the 500 was, that he probably made half of the people who went to the Off Track live recording ill because his mum was giving everyone shots of the Bucky and how the Cake Bake is so good but oh so expensive, I brought up the Andretti 3 series and asked if it was him in it.

“No, I didn’t actually know Marco yet as I was still in high school.”

And without missing a beat I responded, “To be fair, he probably should have been too.”

I got a laugh but yeah, it wasn’t him in that episode.

So I first started watching IndyCar in 2006 after stumbling across the Indy 500 on Sky Sports when we had free for the month.

Which of course gave me a problem for trying to follow races live after this due to timezones.

Now beside IMS Radio having like their full race commentaries as podcast that I could catch up with (like I was listening to them going into college the Monday) and the YouTube highlights (and by highlights I mean full races). There was a third way.

Because, as we all know, there was a third generational driver making his series debut that year.

Thus some bright spark decided that we needed a mini documentary series following this 19 year old as he worked his way through the season.

And I was obsessed.

Like I was brainwashed as a child when it came to Mario by grandad but Marco was like my driver.

Here was this driver, only a few years older than me trying to deal with all the expectations while being a 19 year old.

So you have moments like:

Walking round a mall with a friend and then stoping to tie his laces and being like “yeah, this is good content.”

Him going back to his flat in Indy and throwing a bag into a room that is just full of fucking boxes

A bunch of drivers clearing treating him like little baby brother

Daft radio messages as he’s waiting to go out and drive including one where he just starts ranting about how much he wants ice-cream and how they should get some later.

And yes, this did endear him to me.

But, of course, this was 2006.

And while I had been able to find it at the time, it quickly became lost media.

But I remembered it.

Felt like I was going crazy cause most fans I interacted with was well after 2006 so never knew about.

With the new episode of Off Track, the lore behind how Hinch and Rossi knows Thim came up. And those in my small group chat asked if I knew the lore.

To which I go

Cause you know the friend I mentioned Marco walking round the mall with?

I SWEAR TO BLOODY HEAVEN AND HELL THAT IT IS THIM.

So I tried to have another look.

I didn’t find the episode I was looking for but I did find this:

IT WAS FUCKING REAL I HADN’T IMAGINED IT.

Now I just need the rest of it.