#for I was young and therefore I never had to think about such things bc that's for when ur old
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I'm genuinely avoiding getting out of bed bc that means I have to get going with my day which means I have to make the call to my gyno to schedule an iud insertion which I still don't even want, but I have to bc I have endometriosis -that which I had a surgery for 6 months ago and I've been avoiding making a decision on this iud ever since bc it scares me. Not just because of the obvious side effects/scary things that are rare, but can happen with iuds, but also bc I'm chronically ill and I have GERD, which is a fucking monster to tame on a daily basis, but it can be made worse by birth control (I've already experienced it with the pill and it was hell). Idk if this one is gonna do that or not, but if it does, that means I will either have to take a PPI full-time for my GERD (which I don't wanna do bc I'm young and it's linked to bone density loss when taken for long periods of time) OR I will have to have the iud removed and just pray the endo doesn't grow back very fast and cause me to need another surgery in the next year or 2...which...if I'm being honest, I'm already starting to feel slight pain that I have associated with endo in the past, so that's not really reassuring. This iud is thought to be the best option for treatment bc it's supposed to slow down the growth of endo by thinning the lining of your uterus and preventing you from having periods. It is also basically the only option for treatment besides surgery so...yay me!
I care a lot about my health and I've developed a lot of anxiety surrounding my health as well. I don't like doing anything that risks ruining the balance I've worked so hard (and am constantly working hard) to maintain. At the same time, I know I need to at least give this iud a try, as it is my only option and who knows? Maybe it'll work great for me? That doesn't mean it's not scary as shit though.
Even though it's technically my choice at the end of the day, I feel like I don't truly have a choice at all. If I wanna take the best care of my body, I have to try this. Because, it's all I have, other than trying to go with basic natural treatments which I'm already doing and aren't really backed up by any solid science/tests. So...this is it for me. I have to be brave and try, but I'm so tired of being brave all the time 😫 I just wanna live my life and not have to think so fucking hard about my health 24/7. I don't wanna make decisions anymore lol. Can someone else just like...take the wheel? That would be great.
Anyway, I'm gonna do it. It's already 2pm, so if not today, then definitely tomorrow. I can't put this off any longer.
#being chronically ill SUCKS ASS#I wanna go back to the days where I didn't even think about any of this#my health was never a worry in my mind#for I was young and therefore I never had to think about such things bc that's for when ur old#right?#NOPE#big wrong#any of us can become physically disabled at any time#no one thinks it's gonna be them until suddenly it is#it did happen somewhat gradually but I can still pinpoint the time my life was truly flipped upside down#to think just 3 years ago I was living a totally different existence is fucking insane#anyway#it is wat it is#vent post#k.talks
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hi, do you think lewis and nico were really best friends at some point? whether it was in 2013, 2014, 2015 or 2016? bc i was seeing some blogs that they do not think they were really that good of friends, but the way they did hurt each other, and hurt themselves in 2015 and 2016 really screams "you were my best friend and u betrayed me " kind of thing
i mean, as adults maybe not so much, but as children absolutely.
one quality of both nico and lewis that i personally think is really really important to them and their characters is that they were both very lonely little boys. lewis grew up as a mixed race child from a working class background moving between the households of his divorced parents in the notoriously welcoming, racially equally, class blind nation of england. he faced racial abuse from grown adults as an incredibly young child at remote control car events (and i do mean young, like 5 years old) and took up martial arts as a child to learn how to defend himself from bullies. nico grew up on the opposite end of the spectrum as the beloved only child of a millionare formula one world champion, and spent a lot of his early childhood travelling with his parents. he's said before that because of this he was very lonely in his early childhood, as he didn't really know any other children, and he couldn't even really connect with an entire section of his family because he was never taught finnish. then, when he did go to school and meet other children he didn't quite fit in there. he was too awkward, too pretty, too nerdy. it wasn't that he had no friends, but he didn't have many, and he was bullied a lot by other children who would stick things in his hair and hold him down, and because the adults did nothing, he had to learn how to deal with it himself.
so their early lives, although very different, share the quality of loneliness and isolation, and being excluded by their peers. this continued when they began karting. lewis was ostracised because of his race and his class (and almost certainly because he was much better than them and they were jealous) and nico was ostracised because he had a famous and successful father, because he was pretty and awkward (and again, because he was better than a lot of them, and there was a lot of jealousy involved). from the very first time they raced together, it was lewis and nico out way ahead of everyone else, peers as both racers and lonely children. so much of their bond as children came from being lonely and excluded by others, but in each other they finally found a friend.
the first time lewis ever came to monaco was to visit nico. he has said multiple times how visiting nico, seeing how the rosbergs (and other monaco residents) lived became the foundation for the life that he wanted to live and has since chosen to live. when he moved to monaco in 2012/2013, he moved into the same building as nico, which is also the same building as nico's childhood apartment (he just moved into another unit in the same building when he turned 18), therefore the exact same building that lewis first stayed in when he came to visit nico.
i think it's fair to say that they weren't necessarily best friends during their adulthood. after karting they went into separate single seater series (lewis to formula renault in the uk, nico to formula bmw in germany) and although they spent a year in f3 together in 2004, they were in separate teams and developed other relationships along the way. but i don't think you can say they weren't friends. lewis went on holiday with the rosbergs when he and nico were 17, at least a year after they stopped karting. there are photos of him partying with nico and vivian, who got together when they were 18. he and nico went on holiday with adrian sutil after they had begun in formula one. their reaction to their first shared podium in 2008 is not the reaction of people who are not friends. they literally did interviews talking about their friendship. when lewis moved to monaco, if he didn't have food in the house he would go upstairs to nico and vivian and eat with them. they might not have been best friends by that point, but they were absolutely still friends in some sense of the word.
to me, one of the major reasons why that silver war time period reads so much of "being betrayed by your best friend" is because lewis and nico were formative friends. the closeness may not have been the same all the way to the end, but it was the foundation for who each of them became. two lonely little boys who filled in the cracks of their lives with each other because it was the first time, at least in racing, that someone else was actually nice to them. lewis's dad still has photos of lewis and nico as teenagers and voluntarily brings up that time of their lives and the importance of it even after everything that went down. nico once got given an old karting magazine that had him and lewis on the cover and immediately turned all nostalgic and wistful. lewis has repeatedly said that karting with nico was the best time of his life.
as people, everything that we are is fundamentally a collection of memories and experiences and reactions to those moments. we learn and grow, and none of us are the same when we're thirty as we are when we're thirteen. but if you're thirty and the person that you're fighting against, even just professionally, was someone who helped make you who you are by being nice to you when you were thirteen when no one else was nice to you, hurting them is always going to hurt you because they are a part of you, and you are a part of them.
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So Much To Teach
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader
Word Count: 3.4k
Warnings: quite a few; dom Spencer kinda, oral (f receiving), age gap; reader is 21+ but it's a lil dubious by default bc he's her professor and therefore an authority figure but shhhh its fine shhhh, fingering, marking a little bit, p in v sex, they both talking diiiiirty, minor praise, risky sex, multiple orgasms, edging- I think I got everything??
Genre: Smut
Summary: You want your professor's attention but you had no idea what would happen if you got it- you also had no idea you'd get it by talking to a classmate
Part 2
***
Professor Reid is by far your favorite teacher ever and you make sure to make it as obvious as you can get away with. You're always early to his class, you sit in the front row, ask questions as often as you can, take full advantage of his office hours- all of it. You're determined to make Spencer Reid think of you as often as you think of him. Unbeknownst to you, you didn't need to put so much effort into capturing his attention. Not that you'd ever be able to tell, Spencer is always the epitome of professionalism. Well, almost always. He's human after all and you- you might as well be a siren. On the days you come in wearing your shortest skirts, toying with the hem absentmindedly, it's practically impossible for him to keep his gaze above your desk. He's not careless though, only allowing himself to stare when he's not the focus, during exams for example. He especially loves presentation days because he can spend them shamelessly eye-fucking you while you're busy addressing the class. You never seem to notice the way his attention drifts to you, and he's counting his lucky stars for it. He's plenty aware of the implications of his little crush. He wouldn't be so stupid as to make a move on you, especially while you're still his student. Spencer has spent more than enough time convincing himself that the risks outweigh the reward. For now, he'll have to be content watching you from a distance, even when you saunter into his office in your tight blouses to discuss your homework. On those days he knows the memory of your boobs practically spilling out of those shirts will keep him up for at least another hour later that night.
Weeks of your silent game that you're sure he's not actually picking up on have you growing bored of focusing only on getting his attention. Sure you want him to think about you, but you're not so crazy to think he'd risk his job to say, bend you over his office desk like you so desperately wish he would every time you go in there. You're young and in college and while the boys here do not hold your attention the same way, you're not above a little distraction. Which is why today you walk into class chatting with another student, a guy named Matt who has been trying to get you to notice him for a while now. Professor Reid isn't in the class yet and you hop on top of your desk as you talk to Matt about some sports thing. You're not totally following but he's cute so you giggle and pretend you get it, swinging your legs and batting your eyelashes in the way you know college boys respond so well to. You hardly even notice Spencer enter the classroom, but he zeros in immediately on the sight of you smiling at some kid. Matt's a good student, Spencer really has nothing against him, but he rolls his eyes at the two of you knowing that Matt would never be able to keep up with you.
"Quiet down everyone. Miss y/n your butt belongs in a seat, not on a desk and Mister Lewis I suggest you find somewhere to sit as well so we can begin." Spencer addresses you and Matt sharply, catching you off guard. He's never spoken to you that way but you can't help the amused look on your face as you mutter an affirmative and hop off the desk to sit in your chair. Maybe something's going on that put him in a bad mood. The class goes by smoothly after that and Matt is at your desk as soon as Spencer dismisses you all. Spencer has to turn his back to the room to hide the way his face twists up watching you.
The next class again, you walk in with Matt, this time Spencer is there already so you sit directly in your seat but Matt stays and talks to you while you wait for class to officially start. Spencer has to tamp his desire to break the conversation up for no reason until enough students pile in that he begins the lesson. This goes on for two more sessions, you walk in with Matt, twirling your hair, giggling at him, flaunting your gorgeous figure in flattering outfits that he openly gawks at you in, all while Spencer tries to keep himself from the edge of insanity. He has no right to be so put out by this, you're a student for crying out loud. He tries to remember that, tries hard to keep himself in check even as Matt basically invades your personal space as you're sitting on your desk before class again. You let him get entirely too close for Spencer's liking and when he sees you lean forward he can't stop himself from interrupting.
"Miss y/n." Spencer drawls out in a way that makes you want to shiver. "I've already told you desktops are not for sitting. Don't make me tell you again." Spencer says effectively ruining whatever was about to happen between you and Matt. He even backs off to let you get down from your desk.
"I'll see you after class okay?" You tell Matt sweetly and Spencer absolutely cannot take any more of this. He begins his lecture though his mind is somewhere else through most of it. He's busy planning. When the time comes and he dismisses the class Matt is quickly making his way to you and Spencer realizes he has to move now.
"Miss y/n. You don't have a class after this do you?" Spencer asks.
"No professor. Is something the matter?" You ask.
"There's something I'd like to discuss with you. Come with me to my office." He instructs.
"O-okay?" You frown. Matt does too from where he stopped when Spencer called your name. Spencer waits for you to finish collecting your things before he heads towards the class's exit. "I'll- I'll catch you later I guess Matt." You say over your shoulder before following Spencer. You try to think what this could be about. Your last paper was great, you know it was, plus there's no way he's through grading those yet, you aced the most recent test you took- there's no way he's calling you into his office because of the desk-sitting thing- is there? When you reach Spencer's office he shuts the door behind you and stands on the other side of his desk. He doesn't sit- which you find strange but nothing about this has been normal thus far.
"Is there a problem sir?" You ask sitting down.
"Is there a problem?! You- never mind. No y/n, no problem." Spencer forces himself to restrain that overwhelming urge he has to yell over Matt or simply split you open on his desk, or in his office chair, or against the wall- he shakes the thought from his mind, scrambling for an excuse for calling you to his office. "I just wanted to discuss something from- your paper."
"Oh you've started grading the papers?" You ask. He's only just gotten to them. He doesn't even think he's graded yours all the way through yet but he can't tell you the truth, that you're only here so you didn't walk out with Matt.
"Yes I have and there was something interesting... in your paper. I just need to find it, give me- a minute." Spencer shuffles through things on his desk, he's stalling and he hopes you don't notice.
"Professor Reid?" You tilt your head at him.
"Just a minute y/n." He mutters.
"Professor." You frown, your voice is forceful enough that he glances up at you. "I know you know exactly where my paper is. And I know that if there was really something you wanted to discuss in said paper you'd already have it memorized. You're almost irritatingly punctilious, I've been in your office more than enough times to know that. So what's really going on?"
"I suppose I should've expected this from one of my smartest students." He muses with a shake of his head.
"I know we're not friends by any means since you're my professor and all but we're both adults and I hope you'd respect me enough to tell me the truth." You tell him.
"Believe me I am trying very hard."
"To tell the truth or respect me?" You cross your arms.
"I respect you implicitly and because of that telling the truth here is- conflicting."
"Professor Reid, what am I doing in your office? I've asked you much harder questions than that in class."
"If only you knew." He scoffs.
"Professor-"
"You're right. I didn't call you in here to discuss a paper." He sighs knowing he's out of escapes. "It's that boy you've been draping yourself over all month." Spencer says through clenched teeth.
"Matt? You called me in here to discuss Matt? Why? Is he failing or something?"
"No. He maintains a solid B average in my class."
"Okay, then I'm really not understanding professor. What does Matt have to do with anything?" You shake your head.
"It is infuriating to watch him with you as if he has even the slightest chance of satisfying you in any way." Spencer walks over to you as he speaks, punctuating his sentence by leaning against the arms of your chair which forces you to lean back.
"And- what makes you the authority on who could satisfy me?" You ask breathily, blinking up at him.
"Considering you haven't even tried to move away from me I'd guess you know as well as I do." Spencer stares at you intently.
"Are you making a move on me professor?" You ask with feigned innocence that you know he sees through.
"Am I not being clear enough?" He asks.
"I dunno."
"Then allow me to make myself unequivocal." Spencer closes the small gap between you two, pressing his lips against yours fiercely. His hands hold your face as he pours all of his feelings and frustrations into this kiss. You grab hold of his wrists as you surrender yourself to the feeling of his mouth on yours. When he finally pulls away you're both left panting but a dam has been broken with that single kiss and your hands are pulling off his tie before he's even realized it. You stand up and kiss him again, fingers tangling in his hair, while his hands settle against your waist easily. He doesn't let you lead things for long, turning you both to sit you on his desk. "I'm going to show you everything that silly boy could never give you." Spencer grumbles against your lips.
"I never pegged you for the jealous type Professor Reid." You giggle.
"I've never been good at sharing." He quips kissing his way down your throat.
"Go figure." You mutter with a breathy sigh when his kisses turn to nips and sucks. "Careful. If you visibly mark me I'll have to lie." You tell him which only seems to spur him on and you yelp after a particularly harsh bite.
"Lie?" He frowns at you.
"I mean I can't very well say 'Professor Reid gave me those hickies' now can I?" You say and Spencer laughs as he drops into the chair in front of you.
"No, I suppose not, but you can absolutely use them to let people know you're taken." He says shuffling closer to you and pulling your underwear off from under your skirt.
"By people you mean Matt don't you?" You smile, amused at how miffed he is over your little distraction.
"Say his name again in here and I'll turn that ass of yours so red that you'll still have trouble sitting by next class." Spencer glances up at you with a warning look that has your exposed cunt clenching around nothing. An action he doesn't catch, seeing as your skirt is still hiding your center from him. He bunches your skirt up at your hips as he lifts you onto his desk and adjusts your legs so your feet are on it, knees wide so he can simply watch how your pussy glistens for a moment. His gaze is intense and soon you're squirming against the dark wood he's displayed you on.
"Professor Reid, touch me- please." You pout at him.
"Someone's getting impatient huh? You just look so pretty I can't help but want to stare." His words make you blush and the restlessness gets worse as he leisurely folds the sleeves of his button down shirt to reveal his forearms.
"Please professor-" You sigh.
"I like hearing you beg." Spencer's grin is nothing short of sadistic but he leans forward and lets his tongue drag through your wetness with a satisfied groan. He shifts to hold your legs open as he feasts on you like a man starved. It's hard to keep track of his tongue, thrusting in and out of you, circling your clit, disappearing entirely as he suckles harshly on the bundle of nerves all with incredible veracity. It's like he figured out how to read your body before he even began and he's got you teetering on the edge faster than you'd like to admit. Your hands tug desperately at his brown hair as you feel your orgasm building. Before you can even warn him of your incoming release he's switching his tactic, dragging you back from that end, still pleasing you but rather than feeding the fire he's simply maintaining it where it is.
"No!" You whine before you can stop yourself when you feel your orgasm slipping further away. His responding chuckle only adds to your frustration.
"If you're gonna cum princess it'll be when I'm ready for you to. Understood?" Spencer doesn't even lift his head as he speaks. He nips at your swollen clit when you don't answer and after a yelp, you manage a response.
"Y-yes sir." You get out.
"Good girl." He mutters lapping at your juices yet again. Same as before, he easily works you towards the edge with his tongue in all the right places, and like before, when your orgasm is in reach he walks you backwards. This time you manage to hold back your sound of frustration and then his fingers enter the mix and your small whimpers become full on whines as he curls two digits inside you just right to have you arching off of his desk. With his mouth focused solely on your clit while his fingers thrust in and out of you diligently, not to mention the previous denials, you're practically shaking as he works you up again.
"Professor Reid please let me cum this time, please sir- fuck I can't- I need to cum so bad. Please professor- I- I can't. Oh god." Your breathless pleas are barely sensible, but they satisfy Spencer and he doesn't pull back this time, doesn't stop until you're clenching around his fingers and spasming on his desk, struggling to handle the impact of your own orgasm. He watches the way pure ecstasy washes over your face with a smirk on his face as he helps you through it with gentle strokes of his fingers. When your breathless gasps become more subdued he pulls his hand away from your center. Before you can fully recover, Spencer pulls you off of the desk and turns your back to him, bending you over the desk with a hand at your back.
"Fuck- I need a condom." He mutters.
"Do you have any?"
"I- no? I don't regularly fuck people in my office y/n."
"I- have one in my bag. Front pocket." You mutter. Spencer reaches for your backpack and grabs the condom quickly, rolling it on with ease.
"I'm going to absolutely ruin you for anyone else." He tells you before thrusting himself into you. Inch by inch he slides deeper inside you and pinned against his desk all you can do is moan at the fullness. He sets a rhythm as soon as he bottoms out, his dick dragging against your walls with each hard thrust.
"Fuck- god that feels good." You mewl.
"Yeah? You like the way my dick splits you open don't you? Knew you would. You're absolutely perfect for me. Just me. Isn't that right?" He grunts through his filthy words, each one punctuated with another forceful thrust.
"Yeah- yes. God- yes."
"Say it. Say your mine princess."
"I- I'm yours sir. All yours. N-no one else's. No one else could fuck me like this- m-make me feel like this. Just you. Holy sh-shit." You pant out. Spencer's thrusts are rocking the entire desk at this point and you are sure the skin where your hips are ramming against the edge will be sore tomorrow but right now all you can focus on is how good it feels to be fucked like this. Better than you imagined and god you hope he never stops.
"Good girl." He breathes out.
"Feels so good Professor." You whine.
"I know, fuck I know. You feel so perfect y/n." Spencer groans. His hand wraps around your throat and pulls your back against his chest as he fucks you. Spencer's other hand, slides across your waist, finding your clit easily. He toys with the bundle of nerves and your hands grip the edge of the desk as you whine.
"Oh my god." You gasp.
"Let go for me y/n. Wanna feel you on my dick." Spencer says, kissing your shoulder. Your hand grabs at his arm desperate to ground yourself as your orgasm washes over you. Spencer hisses, your nails digging into his skin deliciously. His hips stutter and he groans, long and deep, as he spills into his condom, face buried in your neck. You both remain where you are, panting in the aftermath of it for several moments before Spencer breaks the silence.
"Did you have a condom because you planned on fucking Matt?" He asks and you can't help but laugh.
"No, I just always carry some. I like preparedness." You say, stuttering a bit when Spencer chooses to slip out of you while you speak.
"I'll have to start keeping some in here." He says, pulling his condom off and disposing of it.
"Planning on building a roster for yourself Professor Reid?" You quip adjusting yourself to lean back against the desk instead of still bending over it. Your tone is light but you'll admit you won't take it well if he says yes. Spencer frowns at you as he reaches into his desk for something.
"Is that a serious question?" He asks walking over to you with a packet of wipes in hand.
"Well it was a joke really but if you want to take it seriously be my guest." You shrug. He kneels in front of you, his frown deepening as he considers your words.
"No y/n I'm not 'building a roster'. The only person I'm planning on fucking in here is you, but it shouldn't be your responsibility to provide contraceptive methods for that. Also I've been inside you, I think you can call me Spencer when we're alone." He says gently cleaning you up. You try not to squirm at the intimacy of the whole thing.
"Oh. Okay." You can't think of anything else to say.
"Let me make something clear to you I'm not- I didn't just fuck you to get it out of my system and move on after this y/n. I'd actually like to continue something with you- unless of course, you have no interest in that, I won't pressure you. Although I can't imagine you can go back to Matt after that."
"You really hate him huh?" You laugh.
"He's a fine student. I just don't particularly like the way he drools over you." Spencer shrugs. "But it won't matter if you choose to see me again."
"I will. See you again I mean. This was fun." You say. A knock on the locked office door stops Spencer from speaking.
"Professor Reid?" A voice calls on the other side of the door. A student.
"Just a moment!" Spencer says, he quickly takes a moment to adjust your hair for you and pick up some of the scattered things from his desk while you fix your clothes.
"Spencer where is my underwear?!" You whisper at him.
"Oh I'll be holding onto that." Spencer winks at you, tapping his pocket where your panties are no doubt stuffed. You shoot him a look but grab your backpack and head towards the door.
"Thank you for answering my questions Professor! See you in class next week." You say loudly as you open the door. A boy you don't recognize is on the other side of it. He must be from one of Spencer's other sessions.
"Yes of course. See you next week." His response is almost dismissive, enough that this other student should have no idea what was going on before he showed up and only once you're practically out of the building do you let your giddy smile take over your face as you walk back to your apartment.
***
Part 2
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On this here day, GRRM wrote an entry clarifying several things about the dragon lore in his novels, and it vindicates so many Dany stans/Daenerys as the Azor Ahai:
Saying dragon "mysteries", in-world, will be revealed in the last two books AND Septon Barth got a lot right. I'm taking that to mean that dragons change sex (Viserion, here you come, baby!), like two particular Twitter mutes I have (danylanzhou and Branwynwitch). It also seems like he's confirming that dragons and the first 40 Valyrian families (which include the Targs, then and now) mixed dragon blood with their own in some long past ancient event AND that only these families, therefore, can bond with dragons to rides them safely or befriend them.
Which means Nettles is definitely of Valyrian/Targ-descent, which really should have been obvious. One of my mutuals also asserted that this makes the idea of Nettles-Sheepstealer/Rhaena-Morning being interchangeable for their supposed HotD merging GRRM-disapproved bc he makes a point to say that dragons don't tend to move far from their lairs that are usually very high up in mountains and volcanos. Sheepstealer can't be going to the Vale while having a lair in Dragonstone:
As for the thought of Sunfyre flying miles to get to Dragonstone...this is where he/they were born and where the real magic that sustains dragons is coalesced from hundred of years. It makes sense for him/them to fly to this castle even if Aegon weren't there after he had been bodied by Meleys/Meleys & Vhagar, looking for recovery. This is where the Targs get most of their eggs/dragons and it is near where most dragons in Westeros make their lairs.
Note that he says, in the very last paragraph, how:
Fantasy needs to be grounded. It is not simply a license to do anything you like. Smaug and Toothless may both be dragons, but they should never be confused. Ignore canon, and the world you’ve created comes apart like tissue paper.
It appears he is VERY not happy about something to do with dragons in the show's second season, how they bond in the show, how a certain dragon is "explained" to have traveled a too-long distance for a certain pale-locked young girl who has been trying to hatch her own dragon for years...I see you GRRM, fighting for Nettles AND Rhaena I see.
Oh, and just bc he said he liked epi 2, doesn't mean that he cannot critique anything about HotD ever again...he is the writer and creator of this universe that they are capitalizing on. As long as a writer of any genre stays logically consistent and relatively undiscriminatory in their original writing, they definitely can tell any of us readers what is real and not real or possible in their own creations! That this is even up for debate is a travesty to logic.
Mind you, this is the same man who said the show and the book are two separate canons AND that adaptations "nowadays" tend to fail bc the adapters think they can make the story "better" and ignore critical lore details. And in his latest commentary on HotD's S2 first two episodes, he says, and I quote:
“Rhaenyra the Cruel” has been getting great reviews, for the most part. A lot of the fans are proclaiming it the best episode of HotD, and some are even ranking it higher than the best episodes of GAME OF THRONES. I can hardly be objective about these things, but I would certainly say it deserves to be in contention. The only part of the show that is drawing criticism is the conclusion of the Blood and Cheese storyline. Which ending was powerful, I thought… a gut punch, especially for viewers who had never read FIRE & BLOOD. For those who had read the book, however… Well, there’s a lot of be said about that, but this is not the place for me to say it. The issues are too complicated. Somewhere down the line, I will do a separate post about all the issues raised by Blood and Cheese… and Maelor the Missing. There’s a lot to say.
Note that the latest post was about epi4 and this one I just linked is only abt epi 1 &2....so where are his thoughts for the hated/comedic epi3?! (we see each other, George). (BTW, I gave my thoughts on his thoughts about 1 & 2, HERE.)
I'll say it once again: though GRRM praised the portrayal of grief, defended Cheese being lost, and loved the dog (the last I don't fault anyone for, I also loved them) in the Blood & Cheese episode, he also expressly talks AROUND how Blood & Cheese and Helaena actually interacted and comments on the Maelor-lessness (therefore the lack of Sophie's Choice) that many people--inclu myself--have been saying was a huge problem.
Now we have two different sources that seem to support the ideas of:
GRRM both not being as "involved" with the actual writing of this show for a bit AND not approving of a lot of critical changes
HotD's writers cannot create anything truly "canon" or "real/true" for this universe, it only can make any sort of "sense" if it also retrieves information from the original tale, which is not really just F&B but THE ENTIRE SET OF AVAILABLE BOOKS!
#grrm#asoiaf dragons#rhaena of pentos#daenerys stormborn#daenerys targaryen#nettles#rhaena targaryen#agot characterization#fire and blood characters#fandom critical#hotd critical#hotd comment#defending Daenerys Stormborn Khaleesi Targaryen#asoiaf#fire and blood#hotd
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is law of assumption real? yeah
i have come across an individual vilifying the loa community and i find their statements kinda funny and stupid but i love having my beliefs challenged bc i can know why i believe in this. please also read my response to this other girl who thought loa ppl were crazy. it is ok to think if it’s crazy. ur welcome to criticize it. also, i am using aesthetic pictures bc of my ocd, i need things to be divided.
this is for the people who want to listen whether LOA is real from MY perspective:
firstly, i was primed for law of assumption from a young age. this means that i experienced many and i mean MANY spiritual things from a young age. i saw spirits (not hallucinations, it was my dead grandma who i had never seen and i described her down to her ring to my dad and he started crying because it was her), started speaking french at random points without ever having consciously learned the language, heard random piano compositions in my ear which i had never heard before, had visions which protected me/warned me about the future/informed me about the future and many manyyy more things. this proves to me the power of the subconscious mind.
the difference between someone who was born with their third eye awakened versus someone who has no spiritual experiences + is not open-minded to it, is that they will view spiritual phenomena from a materialistic practical sense.
this is saddening, because humans before being impacted by materialism were so spiritual and we were the ones who created the pyramids and all the structures you see on earth. we did that.
anyways,
is it real?
my opinion: yes.
no i am not in a cult waiting to pounce on the next vulnerable piece of meat. in fact, my future career is removing people out of cults and helping trafficking victims but anyways.
i have manifested things far beyond logic. you know how and why? because manifestation is the most basic human trait. and awakening to the fact that you are the creator of your reality is the most liberating amazing feeling and practice. i manifested one of my dying cats becoming free of cancer. that is not luck. that is manifestation. i manifested bad circumstances away. not luck, manifestation. i manifested all my exes leaving me the SAME way because i had assumed they would. not a coincidence, manifestation. there is definitely a lot we don’t know about the universe. i can’t say with certainty that all things are attributed to us which is also why i hate any form of victim blaming. but one thing is for sure is that humans have more control over our lives than we think. we don’t need a divine presence outside of us to dictate us the circumstances in OUR lives.
also, law of assumption is not law of attraction. law of attraction is “AHHH DONT THINK BAD THOUGHTS OR U WILL GET BAD JUJU” very fear-based, also seen in dogmatic religions. law of assumption uses a CBT based approach to change assumptions and therefore, influence reality. you have every right to not believe in this and even chastise me for it, i understand. however, i know this is real for me.
i was a victim of many racist attacks, however, as soon as i decided that the outside world is safe for me, i never had ONE negative experience. is this a coincidence? not for me, no. this is a human taking control of their life. this is a human not bound by societal expectations and leaning into divine energy and expressing the truest essence of one’s self. i am not blaming myself for being a victim, it is the racist’s fault. i am not blaming other victims, it is the perpetrators’ fault. however, if there is any fucking chance i can help a victim, i will take it, i do NOT care.
things i manifested regarding other people towards me:
1. no more racism towards me, family and friends.
2. parents being emotionally available with me
3. my friends expressing affection the way i want them to
4. my mum making me the exact food i visualised many times
5. my professor saying the exact words to me as i visualised
6. my friends saying to me the exact words i visualised
7. this guy flirting with me out of nowhere because i visualised it
8. and many more stuff this shit is too easy so
maybe i feel this strongly because i am a fighter for the working class. my main goal in life is to help liberate all oppressed people. if there is any chance that it can be done by mind, i would take it. would you not? would you not help people by the means you have helped yourself?
how can you so strongly and with such conviction without ever practising the law come to a conclusion that is a harmful new age ideology when the maxim prevalent in so many esoteric practices (yes, non-white too) have preached that reality is made by the mind? will we ignore the science behind it too? will we ignore the cia declassified documents? will we ignore ancient accounts of reality shifting? will we ignore hermes trismegistus? will we ignore rumi? will we ignore plato?
you can ignore this. i won’t, however. this is the liberation of the human soul. having said this, anyone is welcome to criticise the LOA community, look at us as vultures, think we are crazy. i value all opinions (even if they’re wrong HAHA sorry).
how is loa different from dogmatic religion?
well for one, there is evidence for conscious manifestation (e.g. dr joe dispenza’s books). i personally do not like religion. i have religious trauma so if you are religious, id advise you to not read this section. abrahamic religion is based on fear to oppress minorities, trap human potential and it also makes you rely on luck and wishful thinking (this view is only if the holy books were to be taken in the literal sense and abused by ministers etc) whereas the human is able to decide its own fate. law of assumption liberates the human by putting the human from an us vs them view to an us AND them view, meaning everyone is one and the same. this is not a christian thing, this is a well documented thing featured in asian philosophy. consciousness is the thing that unites us all. it is within you and it is within me. religion (abrahamic) forces you to look at the people who are not like you, aka dont believe what you do, as these other creatures who have defied the will of God and ahhh will face wrath. LOA instead empowers the individual and promotes free will. i understand if you think this is dangerous, the woo-woo stuff, just dont practise it.
how is loa not a cult?
loa CAN be misused in a cult but on its own it is not a cult. no one in the loa community is forcing the individual to join this practice which lowkey is just manifestation. however, i get your concerns and i advise you to read this reply: x
i wish i took pics of my cat when she was sick so i could provide u guys evidence but of course i didnt take any pics.
anyone is welcome to leave. anyone is welcome to adjust loa to their lives the way they see fit.
the void state
i doubt that so many people are lying about manifesting in the void state. i do think it’s not a big deal but i definitely don’t think it’s fake. besides, whats the harm in trying?
thing is right, if you are not garnering results or whatever, u dont need to stay. i stayed regardless of whether i manifested my shit instantly or not (which in the beginning was hard for me) because i believed in the philosophy, it resonated with me and it didn’t make me alienate my fellow man. however, if you feel you have a chance of being manipulated here or idk what, don’t join this practice. seriously, it’s okay. i am not being sarcastic or anything, because you are welcome to stay or leave. you are welcome to compliment me or insult me. i will love you either way for you are my fellow man.
also this is so random and a general thing but only psychoanalytic/psychodynamic psychologists use the subconsciously thing.
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Theory about Lilly
In MotM there is a statue of Lilly present in Heart of the Mountain.Now let's take a closer look at it:
Markings.Does it remind you of anything?Here's a clue:who else was close to their elements and has/had markings on their face(and body)?
These two:
There are two explanations for the markings on her statue:
1.Artistic choice of munce and geckles that built it,maybe the face markings are meant to be hair strands and other markings are details like armor and clothing.
2.Lilly almost merged with the earth and markings on the statue are referencing that.
First of all,her statue does not resemble others in the temple:
Their markings are armor/clothing details and are identical,but unlike Lilly's.Not to mention that spinjitsu burst and merging look similar:
Doesn't that look like a spinjitsu?
So,I think Lilly almost merged with the earth. The reason she didn't lose herself?My options are:
1.Gleck,who was her friend,saw that something was wrong and interfered before the transformation was complete,likely using Lilly's medallion to remind her of her family.She snapped out of it and later left the medallion with Gleck as a thank you gift.
2.She wasn't supposed to/can't merge with the earth.This comes from my hc that only those with direct ties to the source of power(water and wind elementals&technically Lloyd but only bc he's just the first to have energy and grandson of FSM) and tame elements have changed hosts many times over the course of history(The hc is in my Wojira lore theory post).Therefore,her mortal body couldn't handle all that power and the connection was cut off.
3.Both of the previous options combined in some way.
Now,as to how it might have affected her.She died from an illness right?The one we never learned anything about.Don't you find it strange that a young,powerful and perfectly healthy elemental master(who are seemingly stronger than a regular human in many ways as we've seen ninja recover from things that would leave a normal person seriously injured if not dead( Cole even had a car drop on him in s5, recovered from concussion in Crystallized and his fall in Oni trilogy)) suddenly fell sick?(that is not to say that I think em can't get sick,they are still only human after all)And doesn't a forcefully and/or abruptly cut off connection between an elemental and their element sound like something that might have negative effects on one's health?
(There are many reasons why Cole and Nya didn't have similar experiences.Earth may not have called to Cole as strongly due to being filled with vengestone/Cole was too busy fighting to listen to it's call/he ignored it/whatever you think.Nya didn't have health problems bc she didn't have the 'can't merge with element' limitation,was already merged and Aspheera draining her powers cut off the link enough for her body to have time to adjust before restoring that elemental connection.)
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here's the thing. i think will in mortal aus would be a good doctor. a solid, in character choice. but canon will? hm. that's a bit more complicated
none of the demigods we meet in the rrverse are, like, Thrilled about their godly parent's guardianship. like percy isn't a marine biology freak who spends every summer at the beach before he realizes he's the son of poseidon. & even after he realizes, he's never like "oh my GODS i have such a PASSION for CONEY ISLAND!!!!" we don't see that in anyone else either: piper doesn't care for beauty much before & after she is claimed, nico didnt show any hades traits before bianca died & he goes rogue, and frank was actually afraid of showing aggression (around others at least) before he was claimed if i remember son right. the only exception i can think of is leo bc he worked in his mom's garage as a kid. but even then, he isn't a mechanic bc of his dad, he's a mechanic bc of his mom. (we don't know how academic-oriented annabeth was before she came to chb. it's possible that, bc she came so young, she formed her childhood personality around athena, since she had nothing else to hold on to.) so, therefore, i don't think demigods are enthusiastic about their godly parent's guardianship specifically bc of their godly parent. i don't think will would be enthusiastic about being a doctor just bc of apollo.
being a healer at a summer camp & being a field medic in a monster war is very different from being a doctor in a clinic, hospital, or private practice. the type of illnesses, injuries, & disorders a doctor sees in the field would be very different from what will sees in his healer career. we don't actually see much of the healing process in the books outside of ambrosia & nectar, but it's obvious that will would never use them if he became a real doctor. i don't think his healing skills would translate into doctor skills.
additionally, ive seen a lot of ppl in the fandom point out that will would have to relearn all his medical knowledge if he went to med school. that's true! add in his adhd & i don't think will would be to happy to sit through 7(?) years of school learning things he either A) already knows or B) would never use bc he has healing powers.
sure, i think will would CONSIDER becoming a doctor. it makes sense! that's the only life he's ever known! but i think he'd go get a bachelor's in biology & realize after like 3 semesters that it sucks.
"but tumblr user ikeasharksss!" i hear you say. "what profession would will go into if he isn't a doctor!!!!" oh don't worry. Don't Worry. he'd go into pharmaceutical sciences.
hear me out! ive already said we don't know much about healing outside of ambrosia & nectar. & those are basically just the demigod equivalent of mortal medications. will already works so closely w/ them, so it'd make sense for him to be interested in creating an alternative that is safe for mortals. in pharmaceutical science, will could research & make mortal medicine!! it would scratch his innate need to help ppl while also engaging his mortal side!!!!!
thanks baes
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i really have no doubt that arya will be mentored to some extent by bellegere otherys in twow. i don't think the sexuality element will be any worse than mercy.....if anything it will probably be an improvement. bellegere is a wealthy, glamorous, and influential figure. arya has never interacted with a woman like her before.
courtesan and courtesy both share the word court. this is the environment of the upper class of society and the behavior that is expected within its boundaries. the realm of braavos' courtesans is not a traditional court but they do entertain its noble/rich men and therefore can exert influence (ie: bellegere is currently involved with harys swyft a nobleman and representative of the iron throne). the courtesans of braavos are "renowned" for "their wit and their bearing". thats what i think grrm is after here. before arya even had a pov we were told she needed "refinement" and "to learn the ways of a southron court" but she never got to it. she has spent her time, almost exclusively, in rough areas. im not suggesting that arya will acquire a new personality, but she will gain a better understanding of how to act (relevant theme) among the wealthy to achieve her goals by observing bellegere.
in this storyline i think its fair to assume arya might learn practical knowledge about things like contraceptives too. thats not actually inappropriate either. she's a 12 yr old girl and that is a normal bit of sex ed. it will afford arya a very real empowerment in her future that is denied to most girls/women in her world. as arya grows into a young woman i think she will have control over her body and sexuality in part bc of her time with the courtesans.
#asoiaf nonsense#feel like i should add a disclaimer to all my old speculation posts that im just now posting as i clean out my drafts#like for the record i have lost hope that twow will ever be published#but its been real✌️
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Jem's ancestral origin
bc @jaimrennnn pointed it out again, here are my thoughts on Jem's maternal ancestry bc it only now occurs to me that the following are not just regular thoughts normal non chinese people have 😭:
Literary review: Jem speaks Mandarin and not Shanghainese, it's assumed he is from the north. But where? Why?
Now this is where it gets interesting:
一 The language(s)
Nothern Chinese dialects include quite a few different dialects; there are over 300 languages in China in total – and most are not mutually intelligible. At all.
(As someone who is also fluent in Mandarin and wouldn't understand a thing in ancient Shanghai... I feel his pain)
Mandarin is the official language in all of China TODAY, however, the Beijing dialect based Mandarin as we know it today did not undergo nationwide codification until the early 20th century.
And it was only in the 1800s that a shift to Beijing based Mandarin happened. Previously, and into the 1800s, Nanjing based Mandarin was the official Standard during the Ming (1368-1644) and part of the Qing dynasty (1644-1911).
While both would be plausible Mandarin varieties that he could have spoken given the time period, what we see Jem use though is the Beijing based version of Mandarin. While Nanjingese is semi-intellegible for speakers of Beijing Mandarin, it is notably different. So you are right: He does not use any other variety in the written text we see, therefore Mandarin being his only Chinese language means he or rather his family are likely not only from Northern China but speak a dialect that, at least in unintonated pinyin form, is exactly the same (note: we are assuming they don't have a notably different one bc dialect speakers are very particular about keeping their dialects alive as they do not really exist in written Chinese).
But there's more! The northern Mandarin dialects (not just Mandarin the official language) may belong to the same language family and some can be vaguely understood amongst each other (that's why it is also common to have instances where people speak with each another in different dialects, each understanding the other but unable to speak the other dialect) but 1) not all provinces above the Yangtze are Mandarin variety dominant: Zhejiang and south Jiangsu for example are predominantly Wu-dialect heavy (think Shanghainese) which are... not understandable as a Mandarin speaker lol while some dialects from Sichuan or Shandong for example may be easier to understand (remember there are many dialects, even from different language families, in each province).
and b) there's also the fact that even Mandarin varieties don't... necessarily understand each other. You can definitely hear the difference in speech even if they aren't different in grammar or vocabulary!
What do we know about Jem tho?
Jem speaks in a very... classic kind of way I suppose? There are no real regional colloquialisms, he sounds very Standard Mandarin (pronunciation not evaluable) but he does use some literary words that I'd never use in my life (separate post on that) which makes his Mandarin very textbook elegant. He doesn't have the classic /r/ marker at the end that many northeners have either. He doesn't have the Dongbei Mandarin accent either, the Xiajing dialect is something else, etc etc.
He does use the the Wade-Giles system of romanization (based on the Beijing dialect, was the anglophone system of transcription in the 20th century) when speaking English though (I Ching, Kwan Yin) which amuses (and...confuses) me bc he speaks Chinese in perfect Hanyu pinyin? So I'd say he englishifies Chinese terms when speaking English.
(There's also the problem that he was young when he lost contact to the language environment and that he had two L1s growing up resulting in crosslinguistic interference anyway. Mixed linguistic backgrounds do often result in the development of a "clearer" accent, or lack therof...)
二 The Ke family name
I've talked about it before, but Chinese family names have meaning. In the past last names were location bound, i.e. you'd have wider clan names for all the people from one region (which is what put Ke on the top 100 most common last names list in the first place. Yes that list exists). So you can look up where these names originate from or rather where they are common.
So far, I'd narrow the name origin down to these places: Shandong and Hubei (Wu dialectal regions excluded bc we assume he has no other background dialect; nomadic tribes also excluded bc traces unclear).
Why they would make sense:
Hubei the hometown of bronze and birthplace of Chinese modern industry for Steel works (haha... "they shatter even the strength of iron or of bronze". But that was after Jem). It's basically in the heart of China, a lot of cultural history, and the weather is very hot (they are called one of the three furnaces...) it's said that people there are louder and easier riled up bc of the weather. But the Hubei dialect does sound pretty different from the Standard. So there's that.
Shandong is famous for being a cultural and religious center for Taoism, Buddhism and Confucianism (Hometown of Confucius!!) ... and also for having the tallest people in the country. The people here are also very bold and straightforward but also very hospitable with a generally good reputation, the common hero personality. It is also an agricultural center (ahem, Ke ≈ tree, remember). Character wise, it fits. There are a lot of Shandong people who moved to Beijing a long time ago since it's very close.
Given that neither Jem nor Wenyu seem like hot-headed people, but rather practical, calm, honest and are believers of buddhism and chinese philosophy (reincarnation wheel + with how often Jem refers to that thousands years old book you'd believe he has it printed behind his eyelids...), I'm rather inclined to guess their ancestors are from Shandong originally, i.e. the chill ones. (Yes you cannot generalize people but we have nothing on them 😭). However, I believe they have lived in Beijing for generations.
What is also interesting is that the average victorian Englishman stood at 167cm. As of now, the English average height is 175±6(m) and 162(w). In Shandong, the average height now is 175(m) and 169(w). But in the Qing dynasty the average northern man was this tall already. So I'd go on the taller spectrum for the nephilim and say Wenyu, as a northerner, is atleast 170. Jem is considered tall, somewhere between 178 and 180cm. Calculating this into the height, Jonah is max. 178cm. Since the Carstairs weren't tiny either, this fits. (Shandong people are the tallest people in China, followed by Beijing people. Tall girl Wenyu supremacy!!). I think Shadowhunters are taller bc of exercise that's why you have Will at the same height but Jem could definitely not do as much physically, having to rely more on efficiency and genes so I believe he has tall!genes but he definitely did not get that primarily from the victorians.
三 Wenyu's pre-Shanghai residence
From what we also know, the Ke family ran the Beijing Institute as well (Jia, née Ke, and her hubby). It wouldn't be far fetched to say that they've been running it since way back. After all, the Ke's are also still in charge of Shanghai and the Herondale's ran London well into the 1990s.
What we also know is that Jem's mom, Wenyu, was sent as an ambassador of the nephilim to the emperor for a meeting at the Yuanming Yuan, burned down around a decade and a half prior to Jem mentioning it, so the visit occured before Jem could ever remember it.
Historically, from mundane history, we know this: Emperor Xianfeng ruled from 1850-61, the Garden was burned down by Europeans in 1860 during the 2nd Opium War.
Wenyu was born in 1839, so she probably went there as a late teenager. She had Jem at 21 and also moved to Shanghai with Jonah years later. Now why would China's nephilim send some random teenage girl to Beijing to talk to the ruler? Why would they send her from perhaps angel knows where thousand miles away? Unless... she was sent from the Beijing Institute? Who knows. Chaos breeds demons. (It's also odd that Cassie changed the timeline to this happening when Jem was 2 or 3. Was this supposed to mean that he might have witnessed it? Idk).
Beijing was the capital, and if the nephilim, as a race, would send an ambassador, it would make the most sense to send one from the local institute. Jem did not grow up learning another local differing variety either, leading me to believe both Wenyu and Jem were born in Beijing and learned court Mandarin.
四 Conclusion
I believe that Jem's maternal family originates from the Shandong/Beijing area but lived in Beijing for centuries before taking over Shanghai too, since they are not shown to know or speak any other distinctive dialect and the Shandong dialect, due to it's close similarity to the Standard variety, could have lost it's accent over time there with the surrounding Beijing dialect, the court dialect and their complete mutual intelligibility. Clan origin, height and personality also hint at this, as well as Wenyu's travel log. Jem's Chinese is very standard and does not deviate; he seems sophisticated and has a clear pronunciation. Beijing born and raised!
#the shadowhunter chronicles#tsc#cassandra clare#the infernal devices#shadowhunters#jem carstairs#ke wen yu#jonah carstairs#brother zachariah#ke jian ming#jia penhallow#tid#tda#tlh#tmi#the mortal instruments#will herondale
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For the ask game: A Damian who never got the sex talk or a consent talk from Bruce (both bc he assumed that Dick, son-wife extraordinaire, would take care of that and bc he thought that Damian would be ace or celibate or something) and so in his teens after only learning about sex from the internet he just becomes like, wildly inappropriate about his crushes, including unfortunately his older siblings, especially Dick, Tim and Cass
This includes not just the bat-typical stalking online and irl, but also making comments on their bodies, flirting excessively, and one notable time, masturbating in the living room of Dick’s apartment
Everyone is torn on how to address it, if they should be saying anything at all, I mean, he’s just going through puberty, it’s just a phase right?
for the ask game!
i LOVE it when Damian has like. zero concept of how relationships work and no one thinks to talk to him about it, leading to wildly inappropriate behavior. it's my fave flavor for any Damian ship.
obviously, his first crush is Dick. and because Damian has had such little interaction with healthy romantic relationships, he doesn't even *realize* that's what he's feeling. in concept, he understands sex. but he has a very clinical definition of it, viewing it as coupling to produce an heir. (100% influenced by Ra's) so sex as a pleasurable thing, as something driven by romantic interest, that's foreign to him. he refuses to show weakness and he needs to be hyper-independent, so he falls down a google rabbit hole. i love the idea of Damian accidentally stumbling into like, forums and subreddits based on what he googles that are for people with incestual fantasies and it ends up giving him the WILDLY wrong idea about what's normal. he makes his own account and becomes mildly chronically online about it. at first, it's just a safe outlet for him to vent about his feelings. bc deep down Damian *does* know this is a little wrong and weird, he knows Dick doesn't exactly reciprocate and he understands there's a difference between familial and romantic love. but the more Damian is reading other stories online, the bolder he gets. and he starts getting more open about his attraction.
not only does he get more open about it, but his attraction spreads to Cass and Tim. for Cass, it makes sense. they grew up similarly, if anyone understands the guilt of being raised to be an assassin and now trying to atone for it, it's her. Damian respects her raw ability and naturally it turns into a crush. for Tim, it's harder to explain. he hates Tim with his whole being, doesn't see Tim as his brother. it starts as sexual attraction first, with Tim. for Dick and Cass it was romantic first, but not Tim. watching Tim train shirtless, Damian almost hits himself in the face with the workout equipment he's using. since he's never considered Tim a brother, he's never considered Tim seriously when he's thinking about incestual feelings. it startles him to be attracted to Tim too. honestly? fun concept that Damian gets so in his head with an incest kink that he finally accepts Tim as a brother to him because he's attracted to Tim, therefore this must mean that some part of Damian views him as a brother because Damian has just. entangled those feelings internally.
it's when Damian is attracted to them as well, that they all start to notice. Cass notices first, and she asks Tim about it, since she can tell Damian's feelings are toward Tim and Dick as well. they have a conversation about it and ultimately decide they can't change Damian's feelings, and they don't want to embarrass him about it because he's young and going through puberty. Tim had his own childhood crush on Dick, it happens, he really gets it. they loop Dick in, who is absolutely thrown by the concept. for a while Dick doesn't believe them. he's convinced they're reading into things. until Damian starts getting more bold. going from openly staring that could be interpreted a lot fo ways to excess compliments and flirting. Dick's used to comments about his body, they slide off easily. but when Damian very loudly makes a comment about Tim or Cass' body, Dick balks. he tries to. carefully tell Damian that there are boundaries to certain relationships and he needs to be more respectful. Damian doesn't take it seriously because Dick won't address it head-on and is dancing around the topic. Damian either doesn't think Dick is serious, or he thinks Dick doesn't understand the depth of his emotion outside of sexual desire. so he starts trying to be more romantic. flirting, gifts and gestures. it's very sweet and almost childlike, how hard Damian is trying. Cass thinks it's cute and doesn't mind it. Dick is trying carefully to let Damian down gently. and Tim is just baffled, not really sure what to do with the *very* nice new bo staff Damian got him that's reinforced and admittedly, very well balanced.
Damian gets bolder. his touch lingers, his comments get more sexual. and of course, the breaking point: he jerks off in Dick's living room. he does it when Dick is busy in another room, taking a shower. Dick comes in just as Damian reaches completion, gripping one of the throw pillows on Dick's couch. Dick leaves the room, pretends he didn't see anything and gives Damian the chance to clean himself up. but when he comes in the room, they both know that Dick knows. Dick decides he has to be more firm with his boundaries. he sits down and tells Damian it's okay to have a crush, but this is not okay. Dick repeatedly calls it "puberty" and a "phase", and Damian gets more caught up on Dick denying the realness of his feelings than the rejection. he doubles down, because he perceives the issue as Dick just not understanding how real Damian's feelings are. this isn't some silly teenage phase to Damian, he knows his feelings. obviously, the issue must be that Dick, Tim, and Cass don't understand that. so he does his best to act more like an adult. he's far more reasonable on patrol, he doesn't pick fights, he's independent. all the issues Dick has been having with training Damian suddenly vanish and well. Dick knows why, but he has to admit, it is far easier to work with Damian like this. at this point, Tim just finds the whole thing funny. Cass doesn't enjoy the sexualized comments about her body, she's always been hyperaware of how others will oversexualize her, but she still sees Damian as a young kid and doesn't lash out at him over it. she's dealt with far worse, and she doesn't want to make him feel bad about a crush.
if i were writing this, i think it'd be fun if Damian's feels do eventually fade. he stops going online so much and he gets other things to focus on trying to be a good vigilante and soon his efforts aren't about his feelings, he's just genuinely focused on himself. he grows back and Dick, Tim, and Cass breathe a sigh of relief about it really just being some phase. that is, of course, until someone new joins the Batfam and the cycle starts again. maybe it's Duke, maybe it's someone else like Terry. but at the end of the day, Damian's incest kink wins out and maybe this time, he actually succeeds. he gets his new person of affection to reciprocate with all of the attention he gives them and Dick just has to watch from the background, facepalming. bc at the end of the day, Damian will always get what he wants, sooner or later.
#necrotic festerings#ask game#batcest#damitim#damidick#damicass#i LOVE emotionally constipated damian having no clue how to relationship. man it's great.#this is so fun bc like. it seems very realistic to me#damian does seem like the type to accidentally give himself an incest kink bc he ended up the wrong side of the internet.#it makes me giggle thinking about it.#i think you could also do an endgame of damitim or damicass with this#damicass is so underrated i fear#but so is damiduke. so like#that's probably where i would go with it#more duke in batcest content. i demand it.#or terry. damian's complex over terry could be fun.#but i dislike terry existing outside of the batman beyond universe so. eh#i think the potential of shipping duke with any of the other batkids is so much fun#makes me willing to leave pre-flashpoint just bc i think he's neat.#anyway any damian ship should involve damian being terrible at boundaries. it's great 10/10
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hi! nennaia drank from the well of sorrows, right? sorry if i'm misremembering but i was wondering how she felt about that choice, and if you think any other inquisitors of yours would also drink and why (or why not!)
yes she did!!
to nennaia it was less that she particularly wanted to and more that it was her duty—which you can say about most of her decisions, haha. she didn’t trust morrigan (nothing that personal, simply that morrigan hadn’t earned it yet). nor did she think morrigan had truly weighed the possibility of her son having to grow up alone. she is also, personally, a worshipper of mythal. she would have considered it a betrayal of her beliefs to leave the knowledge of the temple of mythal to a shemlen rather than bear the burden herself, even at a risk. she certainly feels that it is she who has the right. and she probably is somewhat suited for it, in all fairness, being an extremely mentally disciplined person
arthur, my trevelyan boy, would not drink, i don’t think. this is not his area of expertise and he’s more cautious than that, plus i think he’d like morrigan—he has a lot of respect for apostates, he thinks they’re braver than he is—and would therefore be more willing to let her go ahead. weirdly, i wonder if his templar sister helena would drink? could go either way; she deeply wouldn’t trust the well or morrigan
i could see my cadash drinking. i typically play cadash as buying into the herald of andraste thing bc i think it’s interesting. i think having just found out at adamant that they were never chosen, they might, in the midst of that breakdown, desperately jump at any kind of divinity. could be a really fun angle
i’ve been developing another lavellan lately who maybe wouldn’t drink. this is a young mage who never took as well to the weight of duty as nennaia. she knows she should. that it would be the right thing to do, the responsibility of a keeper, to take the risk herself to preserve elven history. but the world has asked so much of her already
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What is even more disappointing about how game!Ciri is written is that CDPR Can give us compelling and complex “ trauma and grief can cause you to repeat the cycle of violence” arcs for characters like Syanna and Lambert but apparently completely forgot what a huge part of Ciri’s character that is
the first time I played I thought she got amnesia as well because of how much of her fiery temper was toned down, and how her trauma is hardly mentioned ( and it's not like the characters in this game trauma are completely ignored it is talked about in some quests) I wanna see what she really would have done had she seen Emhyr again
I feel like game Ciri had two distinct groups they were aiming for: people who found Geralt even more appealing because of the fatherhood angle so they had to work his actual kid in AND hot girl fan service.
The thing is, if they gave her too much personality or depth, she wouldn’t have fit into these groups well and therefore people would’ve found her annoying and/or off-putting. People already do sometimes but not to the degree that they would’ve if they even BEGAN to touch on the absolute shitstorm that is Ciris psyche after everything.
Also realistically, they made the Witcher games centre about Geralt bc he appeals to their large majority male fan base: combatant, dark mysterious tragic past, ripped, attractive, fucks hot women, is a good guy while still also getting to do badass things and beat people up. If you look in depth at Witcher fans on different platforms when they talk about him, a lot of dudes are very much “oh my god he’s literally me”. Ciri could never be the focus because she wouldn’t appeal to that same group, and we know that every time a game is released people throw the weirdest bitch fits about female characters, especially main ones.
This is also why Ciri is made an attractive character, when realistically that tiny little facial scar they’ve given her is nothing, she’s spent her developmental years on the run/being attacked/under extreme stress so I honestly can’t imagine her being a tall skinny but also hourglass woman with one or two scars, and put her in a cropped shirt (such a bad choice it’s mildly hysterical).
I think Lambert and Syanna are also a really good example of how people handle angry traumatised characters too, because Lambert gets a lot more leeway than Syanna (and I say this as a big fan of both!) Like there are literally people out there and on this webbed site who say she is pure evil, one of the evilest people in the Witcher for being a fucked up mean trauma victim who hurt a Poor Little Meow Meow (Higher vampire with decades of life experience more than her, incredibly possessive, responded to emotional manipulation by violently attacking an entire city). Like Lambert literally brags about axii’ing a guy to shoot himself in the head with his own crossbow.
Ciri got done very dirty, but I see how and why it happened. Book Ciri deserves rights but unfortunately I think Games Ciri will always be how people perceive her, and therefore portray her in fic, art and other work predominantly (praying same doesn’t happen with TWN Ciri). We’ve been robbed of such a complex, angry young woman and I mourn it 🙏
Edit: I can’t even touch on the Emhyr thing because the fact she can reconcile with him is honestly mildly fucking horrific. Like even if they’ve removed the nasty ass incest factor, that man quite literally destroyed her entire world and was willing to do so further in order to get his way. The fact she can call him father in one ending is genuinely vomit inducing and so disrespectful to Ciri as a character (also the audacity to play down that Ciri literally sees Yen as her mama WHILE playing devils advocate for War McCrime is a whole choice).
#sorry I rambled!#but you’re right anon ur right#also this post has swinging at a hornets nest elements but I do not careeeeewwe#katie txt#asks
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catradora, catra, and azula is there too
this is sort of a multifandom post (bc both of these shows have a death grip on my brain juices) but it’s something ive been thinking about
awhile ago i saw this video about why catradora is abusive, and i realized it had some good points. catradora is objectively, even just disregarding the romance factor, an abusive relationship. (STAY WITH ME NOW FOLKS, i love catradora give me a second)
it’s not fair, however, to say catra and her relationship with adora are plainly horrible things. in fact, given the (criminally short) time the two characters are seen romantically involved on screen, i think the situation was handled quite well.
one character i never see catra compared to is azula, but i genuinely think it is an incredibly accurate comparison.
both were raised in non ideal circumstances, and both were incredibly skilled and of course have similar personalities. instead of breaking off and healing like the person in their similar circumstance does (zuko and adora respectively), they stay because they both want to prove themselves.
azula, by the end, isn’t there for the power trip. she wants to prove herself to her father.
and catra at first wants to prove herself to shadowweaver. then hordak. then horde prime. and then at the end? she wants to prove herself to adora.
they are parallels, both treated horribly by their mother figures, longing for companionship and attachment, but being far too brash and trained for violence to be able to function healthily anywhere. catra sees adora. azula sees her mom.
one thing i think we always forget is that both of these characters are CHILDREN. minors. young people. easily influenced KIDS who want to prove themselves. who were, quite frankly, raised in a purely abusive environment. but because they both show the hard, not sunshine and rainbows pretty side of trauma, they are therefore evil people.
what both of these characters do to people is abuse. i wont disregard that at all. but abuse most often comes from a place of trauma, violence, and rage.
when catra came over to good, things are still not easy for her.
remember when zuko got sick after helping aang and appa in s2? (a far too underspoken of an arc i must add) catra is ALSO sick after having such a drastic mental switch, but she shows it with her intense amount of mental problems. this wont be cured by falling in love with adora. this wont be cured by being with adora. she will still lash out and hurt people and be sick.
people don’t seem to recognize there is a gray area between “uncaring hatred and abuse” and “love cured me.” it’s not fair to say catra is evil. that’s disregarding what catra went through. but it’s also not fair to say catra is a fully good, amazing person. that’s disregarding everything she has done.
my favorite character IS catra because of how complex and imperfect and FULLY flawed she is. her trauma isn’t coded with sugared words and cured by romance. it’s raw, powerful, sad and angry. and it is also scary. that’s how trauma is.
mentally ill people are redeemable. azula is redeemable. catra isn’t exempt from this.
none of this is to say catra and adora shouldnt date (bc they should bc they are cutie patooties [and mentally ill people can be in perfectly healthy relationships]) but just that BOTH OF THEM need to heal before their relationship can be considered healthy. they need to take time and heal.
overall the point of this post was to show there is a gray area between irredeemable villainous acts and an entirely innocent person :)
i’ve discovered i love tumblr bc i can just yap and yap and people will see it?? and like?? acknowledge what im saying?? crazy fr
#zuko#azula#azula redemption#mental illness#catradora#catra#catra is redeemable.#trauma#atla#atla and shera#spop#spop discussion#mentally ill people can be saved.#omg silly goofy post#where i end up discussing mental illness???#me when i see a kids show:#mm yes must over analyze#character analysis
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It sounds bad but I can understand Aemond's frustration with Helaena to an extent. Her dragon is the second oldest the Targaryens have and there's even a deleted line from Season 1 where Aemond complains that Helaena "never bothers" with her dragon. And Helaena's just so inconsistent about just how aware she is of what's going on around her, I don't think it would be unfair to think that maybe she does know what's going on, and how much danger they're in. In which case, the fact that Helaena didn't flee or protest would mean she chose that faction and is now sitting on their second best weapon that also happens to make the opposing faction see them as more of a threat and somewhat motivate them to come at them with more force.
Or maybe the writing is bad. I don't know.
Aemond's perspective on dragons and their connection to them is a very limited one. He may be seemingly clever or even wise to some ("philosophies", being able to speak high Vlayrian in contrast to Aegon's terrible use of it", his eagerness to strategize), but his idea of dragonriding is too battle-and-war-centered. He doesn't seem to value Vhagar past her experience and size and use for battle, I'm saying. Even Aegon shows his love for Sunfyre...even it's immediately before going out to try to "prove" himself to anyone. They both appear to only draw strength from their dragon "ennobling" their right to rule or be "important" within this patriarchal Targness war-making that validates them as kings or rulers.
Therefore, it's very possible (bc of bad writing we don't have context for why or why Aemond doesn't observe/put much stock or deep thought into any observations he has of his siblings in other settings to make a definitive conclusion of that based on the "text" of the show) for how Aemond does/doesn't think of why Helaena might be so "subdued" or why it appears she makes "less" use of Dreamfyre or doesn't "prepare" her for war...at least in recent time. And for Aemond, for years Alicent & perhaps Otto have imparted to him and his siblings that they all had to remove Rhaenyra from the heirship/throne, even to survive. A false notion, btw, but one nonetheless Alicent told them for years presumably since early childhood, so yeah, Aemond grew up thinking of dragons as their main line of defense and offense. thus dragon are more war machines to him.
So to both young!Aemond and now!Aemond, "bothering" with a dragon has to do with actively flying them and thinking of them as animals put to a sort of contracted "use". Perhaps just the flying of the dragons is construed by young!Aemond and now!Aemond as "preparing them & yourself" for war. I think that there appears an idea that Helaena--thru her magic in the show--is the most "in tune" with her dragon than anyone on her side of the family. So she absolutely "bothers" with Dreamfyre.
If this were a better written show, we'd see season 1!Aemond also seemingly make as if Helaena doing this is bc women are not expected to battle or that she is "weak"....which contradicts what he expects of her now in season 2/3. That'd be a great depiction of the double standards of sexism the show could have used. (That was a digression, but an important one I think.)
The other thing is that Helaena never asked to be Queen or to have her kid murdered after AEMOND chased & killed Luke and the blacks seemingly retaliated and tried to get at Aemond. (Of course, this is me just taking the show at the moment and at face value and being diegetic bc that's what you seem to ask for). She never usurped Rhaenyra and put their entire family in danger in the first place. Or "distracted" Criston Cole from his post.
That Aemond is demanding that she now go into war:
with no battle experience whatsoever, not even any military training or swordsmanship
when she can barely walk around the Keep without being too overstimulated and is pretty unequipped to also handle war even when flying above it
on a dragon who also has no battle experience whatsoever to possibly deprive her only child of a mother--a girl her father ignored and her grandmother might also ignore with her track record (yes I say this even as we saw Alicent in the leaks say she would take Helaena and Jaehaera away, Helaena: doesn't know of that; has little real reason to trust Alicent after what happened to Jaehaerys; when she made her marry Aegon; and they never were close anyway)
Now he demands that she put her life on the line for something she has no belief in and never had any room to decide on or give input on? when no one cared about her or her kids' thoughts about the whole thing? When Alicent, Aegon, this entire institution has used her body for their own ends? Aemond is entitled to her body and her dragon--the one other thing that she maybe loves above all else besides her bugs and children, a dragon that maybe keeps her settled with herself at heir cramped and oppressive home as much as other Targ women's dragons did for them & be ways/reminders of freedom and personal strength?
Nah.
Helaena does know...but why should she feel obligated to fight when she is not responsible or did really anything to make the blacks seek out their deaths? no, she didn't "choose" the greens' side even if people argue that she could have fled the Keep with her kids to Rhaenyra. She likely stayed for the same reasons as other women and girls stayed with those who mistreat them--it's pretty much all they know.
However, bad writing also has something here, as we don't know the full extent of Helaena's limits, which could have been revealed if they had taken their time and given us the greens/blacks lives in their respective homes at different times to explore these characters and their relationships...it's also possible that she can't fly Dreamfyre for long, esp with two other kids with her...Dragonstone to KL and vice versa is pretty far even for a dragonride.
EDIT *8/5/24*
I forgot how Helaena, to challenge him abt the consequences if she were to go against his will and say no again, pts out Aemond tried to Kill Aegon already when he asks her again to fly out with him. So, again, she owes him nothing when he'd so easily think of killing herAS WELL AS AND IN CONTEXT OF all the above in this post.
Also, even if we argued for her complicity in the usurpation, it doesn't mean that this would erase the compulsion to stay having no where else to expect to stay and survive on her own.
END OF EDIT
#asoiaf asks to me#aemond's characterization#hotd characterization#helaena targaryen#helaena's characterization#helaena and aemond#hotd leaks#hotd s2 epi8#asoiaf dragons#hotd writing#hotd critical#asoiaf#hotd
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OC Marina Grayson
As a young man, Orm fell in love with a marine researcher. When she didn't return the next year with the pod of dolphins she was studying, he assumed she had been killed over their relationship bc it's something his father would've done. When he finds out it's actually bc he's a father and small children aren't allowed on research vessels, he peacefully abdicates the throne to his brother so he can marry the love of his life and raise his daughter in Gotham. Since he has the wealth of the ocean at his disposal, he purchases the local aquarium so they can still do marine research and start sharing some Atlantean knowledge with the surface world in order to help environmental awareness.
(HC for all Atlanteans) Atlanteans have scales they can display at will, and coloring is indicative of familial line. They also have facial markings when underwater and generally the bolder the better; more fierce and therefore beautiful. Orm inherited a Siren's Voice from his mother, and Marina was able to prove her ancestry with her Royal Gold scales and the incredibly rare Siren's Voice. Her facial markings look similar to a goth egirl, and are considered the height of Atlantean beauty. When she does her makeup on land she mostly just adds back her natural features, though the specific colors and shaping might vary a little. Dick is considered kinda ugly in Atlantis without the domino mask.
Because of her vocal ability, she had to visit Atlantis fairly often for training in control and as a backup heir to the throne. She was trained in traditional combat using a trident, but she's never felt right with the thought of ever needing to use it to take a life. The Atlantean public loves their kind and gentle surface princess, but the other court families think she's too free spirited and want to push their sons on her to keep the Voice within Atlantis.
She was Dick's classmate and acquaintances at the very least until she saved him from drowning in Gotham Harbor when they were 11. She dived in to rescue Robin, and was shocked to hear her classmate's voice thanking her. She paired up with Dick on their next school project so she could have an excuse to visit the Manor. She then confesses to Dick, Bruce, and Alfred to having figured out their secret, and tells them about her being Atlantean to show she's not intentionally a threat.
She and Dick become good friends after this since they can talk about their secret lives, and she joins the original Teen Titans when they form. She wrote the choreography for the team's lip-sync and dance videos for their official YouTube channel since, as younger millennials, they were some of the first heroes to publicly goof off on the internet in costume.
At one point during a school dance, she slapped her own date for calling her best friend a "dirty gypsy." There was a month or so when they were 15 where Dick did date Starfire, but there's no hard feelings or jealousy from it.
In high school, she was a competitive diver and worked at the aquarium as a mermaid in the shark exhibit in her spare time. She picked up air ribbon acrobatics as well because it's the closest thing she can do on land that feels like being underwater.
I'm undecided as of yet how they started dating, but Dick proposed with his mother's necklace. Some Romani vistas (I've heard) use coin necklaces, so I think he'd use his mom's the same way ppl use heirloom rings. It amuses Wally to no end that Circus Boy has a royal title and his favorite teasing nickname is "Your Highness."
Marina quit being a vigilante as they got older because it was getting harder to pull her punches as she got stronger. She recognized that it would be devastating for Surface-Atlantean relations if either the Princess or a representative hero killed someone even on accident, so stepped back to be a more supportive role as Surface Ambassador and post patrol medical assistance. Most of her work as Surface Ambassador involves negotiating ocean cleanup and environmental improvements on a governmental level with the various world powers.
She absolutely does not want to inherit the Atlantean throne. She despised her tenure as Regent while Arthur was dead before he was brought back to life in Darkest Night, and gave the throne back the very next day so she could go home.
While Bruce was stuck in the time stream, she was fully on board with Dick over legally adopting Damian. Sometimes he'll actually call her Ummi since she's more affectionate than Talia, especially when he's overtired. She does eventually adopt him under Atlantean law by challenging Talia for Mother's Rights. Since their fight was underwater due to Atlantean rules and Talia wanting whatever's best for her son, Marina wins and Damian is technically royalty as well now too. She's not even mad that Talia let her win, and gains a new respect for her as a mother who's willing to let her child go for a healthier upbringing than she could give.
When at home or for some semblance of privacy in public, Dick and Marina speak a blend of English and as much Romani as Dick can remember. Sometimes they'll include some Atlantean for extra security in public, but as English is Marina's first language they don't usually bother.
In the public eye on the surface, Dick is considered the trophy husband with a day job as a detective. He kinda loves their visits to Atlantis bc he's actually taken seriously as Dick Grayson without his pretty privilege. He can actually be his fully intelligent self there without the Atlantean public being shocked that he has more than a single brain cell.
Marina fully encourages sibling shenanigans amount the younger Batfam. She and Dick used to prank Bruce after all, and it's good and healthy bonding for them.
Jason is the adorable little brother who was taken too soon and came back angry yet still just as loved. She's kinda neutral about Tim but fully supports his tinkering and pranking shenanigans, and he likes her coffee more than Alfred's. Unfortunately I haven't known about most of the rest of the younger members long enough to have any relationship specifics in mind, but she's kinda like the cool auntie to all of them who will absolutely provide mischief supplies and assistance. No questions asked, just immediate "here you go I didn't see or hear anything."
#dc#oc#orm#dick grayson#arthur curry#aquaman#atlantean#au#wally west#bri writes#marina grayson#oceanmaster#bruce wayne#damian wayne#damian al ghul#damian al ghul wayne#starfire#koriand'r#kid flash#i love good mom talia#but there's only so much affection you can safely give a kid in that kind of environment#ask me about my oc#please i love her#I have so many shitposts and imagines for her
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BRO I LOVE UR ART SMM. I THINK I ALREADY ASKED THIS BUT MY MEMORY IS HORRIBLE SO I CANNOT REMEMBER AND BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.
Have you done the anger meter things for the other ninja? Like the one with movie and show? I LOVED your kai one and wanted to know if you have or planned on making the other ninja.
Also if you have just any ninjago movie art at all 😅
AGAIN, LOVE YOUR ART SM
Thank you, I'm really glad you like my work <3<3
About that idea for the show and the movie. I haven't continued drawing yet because I'm still thinking about how to draw. I want them all to be a little bit different from each other because they've had different experiences in life, you know? but I still can't figure it out I hope you can help me figure it out lol
Jay and Zane are quite clear. Jay has higher anxiety than in the show. I Hc that Jay in show studies at home so he doesn't meet many people but movie he always got bullied This makes him have very low self-confidence
About Zane, in movie for me he is much younger than Zane in show. He knew from the beginning that he is a Nindroid. So he learned how to be human from movies and cartoons, which made him not quite himself.
Lloyd is quite simple. He suffers a lot in movie. I Hc that Lloyd met ninjas in high school. That's why he encountered a lot of hate from a young age, causing him to have a lot of trust issues and his self-confidence was very low as well. He was like a stray cat that threatened everyone when the ninja first met him
Oh and kai I never talk about my thoughts, right? To me, Kai and Nya's parents aren't missing, they're just traveling a lot. That makes them a lot more like a sibling relationship than a show so In movie, Kai is much more bright and childish but bc he always smiles and is everyone's sunshine. That makes him tend to keep his other feelings hidden.
The hard part is Cole Nya and Pixel
I'm thinking about Cole being quieter in movie than show Bc they were a group that was often bullied and he wanted to protect his friends. So he set up a wall higher than the show?
for Nya, I really can't think of anything. She probably isn't much different from the show Besides the fact that she no longer had to live on her own and in the movie, she is no longer left behind. I like to think she will be the second leader after Lloyd
Pixel my queen !! I like to think that she has more experience living than Zane She is therefore more human than him but they didn't have the courage to tell everyone that them was a Nindroid //Nindroid is definitely legal and has a life of its own but people still don't accept them that much//
ok im talk too much lol
That is my rough idea. I still don't know how to draw it and I'm not sure
If you guys have any suggestions I would really appreciate it :3
#iriyaninjago#ninjago headcanons#ninjago kai#ninjago cole#ninjago nya#ninjago jay#ninjago pixal#ninjago zane#ninjago lloyd#lego ninjago movie#the lego ninjago movie#tlnm#tlnm nya#tlnm kai#tlnm lloyd#tlnm jay#tlnm pixal#tlnm zane#tlnm cole
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