#fookin hell

[aquareegia]

was specifically searching for this bc it always cracks me up. (source)

[tagzpite]

The fact that he does not really fit in that pond Calypso put him in is oof. I have to imagine his body hurts a ton from how cramped that is. And that being allowed to stretch and swim freely probably hurt at first and wasn't an easy task since...depending on how long Calypso kept him he wasn't really swimming in that pond.

The pond is actually connected to one that’s a little bigger, Calypso *is* trying to get him to fall in love with her after all, wouldn’t do much good if he didn’t have space to move, although it’s still far cry from the entire sea especially for seven or so years.

[ravendruid]

Matt: This is Beauregard Lionett. Ashley: Nydoorin. Marisha: Hyphenated.

EXCUSE ME? WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?

[fraternum-momentum]

I was wondering,, since like dol is canonically british, what accents do you guys think the characters have? like dialects and shit, cause whenever i think about how they're british while im playing the game, i just think of this one meme with the kid with a liverpool accent

[taintedcigs]

just pressed play on this…. the end of an era…. i feel so sick….

[jillianwarts]

if i sit on toji’s lap, everything will be fixed.

[xoxotlou]

my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined. (i burnt my toast and we’re out of bread)

[sarenhale]

I was feeling bad because my expenses have been higher than usual in the past months and then I go see my expenses and the highest are groceries, therapy and gas for the car 💀💀 nevermind LMAOO

[gritsandbrits]

Another hazbin oc idea i have is a descendant of cain who wants to destroy heaven and hell because their family's been rejected by both, but later has a change of heart (hi charlie) and becomes the hotel's gardener.

[aalt-ctrl-del]

Banning books that "young childun" might not be "ready for" is in some description, the same as erasing those children experiences, who come from nonconforming family dynamics, or broken household - just as an example.

Cause the thing about books... it's not going to just hop into your kids backpack. They have to look for it and be curious. If you're kid is curious and you can't deal with that or don't want to have that conversation, why did you have a child? They're not a cutesy lil accessory to dress up and carry around. Without your consent, that child is going to grow, and hopefully they will be very inquisitive. It is so important to have an inquisitive child.

And really not discussing children born with the sole purpose of living a parents failed fantasy. The sentiment is cute, but the kid still ain't you. But Im not telling parents how to raise kids.

Im saying kids need a book that has been fitted to guide them through a turbulent world - which if a parent wishes to, they can begin to work with that curious child. And predominately discussing parents who seek to educate and raise their child right, with a diverse understanding and strong critical thinking skills. Not the parents who want to put their kid in a bubble and fabricate a fantasy world. But the parents that want to "bubble" their child want to control what content is available to all parents, and want to control other peoples upbringing - solely through erasure.

For an analogy - People who want to drown proof their child, will introduce their baby to water. A baby. Not a toddler, a baby. But a parent cannot always control what intrigues their baby, the baby will try to wander and explore, and in some instances fences have failed. If it exists, your child will find it. Books, people, dangerous situations you couldn't foresee (NOT DRAG SHOWS FOR FUKS SAKE). The kindest thing a parent can do for their child is prepare them for encounters - no matter how ugly or frightening.

And if a family with two dads is frightening, and you're mission is to make your kids friend Jake look like a monster because he has two dads. What the fuck is your deal?

Nobody complains when Tod has a mom and a dad, or just a mom, or is being raised by an uncle. No one calls CPS if the grandparents have legally appointed custody of their grandkid. No one freaks out in these family dynamics.

But suddenly its toxic if a kid has two moms, and one of them is butch or something. No one is contaminating your pure, bubble child. You are. By teaching them that there is only one sort of family that is right in our world, and erasing the family styles others might have when they can't conform to your immaculate fantasies.

[patrickztump]

heaven, iowa is undoubtedly the most powerful song on so much (for) stardust and had me in tears the first time i heard it, and has choked me up every time after. man, screw you fall out boy. it’s too early for this.

[kotoyin]

please send me sweet dream rays i watched a scene from a horror film that fucked me up and I don't want to dream about it 🙃

[stevebabey]

mx. ruby!!!!! is just another day, mayhaps, the oingo boingo song :0

YES!!! JUST ANOTHER DAY BY OINGO BOINGO MY BELOVED

[2pen2wildfire]

Y'all I just stepped in a glue trap fml

[moonstruckme]

poly!marauders x reader where reader and james go out drinking and reader ends up out drinking james completely and reader and james go home to be looked after by sirius and remus <3

Thanks for requesting!

cw: drunkenness, mention of vomit

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words

“Fucking hell,” Sirius says as soon as he opens the door.

You turn to James, giggles breaking up your words. “F-fookin’ ‘ell,” you mimic, and James promptly falls to the ground. 

“Moony,” Sirius calls over James’ laughter, not bothering to hide his own smile. “You may want to come see this.” 

By the time Remus appears at the door, you’ve joined James on the ground, felled by your own joke, and the sight of your two sober boyfriends looking down on you both only worsens your giggle fit. Tears leak from both of your eyes. James clutches at your sleeve, wheezing. 

Remus says something to Sirius, and then the dark-haired boy is grabbing you under your arms, hauling you across the threshold of your apartment. It takes both of them to get James inside. By the time they do, you’ve calmed and are watching with a dazed amusement from where you’re propped up against the back of the couch. 

They sit James next to you. Sirius squats in front of you both. “You two have a fun night?” he asks. 

You bob your head, but the motion makes you feel odd, so you stop. “Really fun. You guys should’a come.” 

“Great time,” James agrees. 

Remus hums, and you can’t decide if he looks exasperated or amused. You decide to simply hope for the latter. “But if we’d had as much fun as you, there’d be no one to take care of you, would there?” James seems to consider this, lips pulling down into a frown. “How’d you end up like this?” Remus asks you. 

You’re eager to tell. James opens his mouth, but you press your palm to it before he can speak. “I drank more than him,” you tell Sirius and Remus proudly. “He said he could drink more than me, but he couldn’t.” 

“No,” James insists, taking your hand by the wrist and peeling it from his face. “That’s not true, you had five and I had six. That’s math. I won!”

You make a pfft sound, giving him a condescending look. “Yeah, but you threw up and I didn’t. So I won.” 

James opens his mouth to argue, but Remus speaks before he can. “I don’t think either of you are going to feel like you won in the morning,” he determines, turning and walking away. 

“Oi, where are you going?” Sirius looks helplessly after him. “Don’t leave me alone with them!”

“I’m getting them water,” Remus calls back. 

“He’s such a worrier,” you lament to James. 

He nods agreeably. “Total worrier."

“Can’t have any fun.” 

"Never.” 

“You two are even worse like this,” Sirius decides. You swing your attention to him. The streetlight coming in through the window gleams against his dark hair, which you know from experience is fluffy and soft as puppy ears. He looks ridiculously pretty, as he always does, lips pulled up on one side in an amused almost-smile. You want to kiss it, you think sorrowfully. Then you remember that he’s your boyfriend, and you can. 

“Kiss?” you ask him. Sirius’ almost-smile transitions smoothly into a real one. 

“Sure thing, angel.” He leans forward, cupping your face in one hand as he pecks you chastely on the lips. You whine at his temperance, bringing your fingers into that silken hair to pull him closer for more. Sirius obliges you, kissing you a few more times before drawing back, his thumb stroking your jaw consolingly. 

“You taste like vodka,” he says fondly. 

“James tastes worse.” 

Something changes in Sirius’ expression. “You kissed him?”

You pout. “Of course. I love him.” 

Sirius’ laugh is startled and a little wary. “I know, baby, but I mean after he got sick.” 

You nod. Sirius’ mouth becomes a shriveled, puckered thing. 

“Right.” Remus pats him sympathetically on the back, passing you a cup of water. You look over to see James already has one, half drained. “So, everyone will be brushing their teeth before bed, if there was ever any question.” 

“Gross,” Sirius mutters miserably. Remus rubs between his shoulder blades. 

“Did you get sick on yourself at all, love?” he asks James, scrutinizing the curls nearest his face. 

James shakes his head, and Remus looks to you for confirmation.

“He got—” You hiccup. Remus’ mouth quirks up just a tiny bit. “He got it all in the bin. I saw.” 

“Good,” he says, petting James’ hair as you both drink. “Let’s go to bed, then, yeah?”

You don’t want that. You’re a bit tired, but you’re not ready for the night to be over so soon. “I want to watch a film,” you say. 

Remus sighs, looking at you in that way he does when patience seems more an obligation than a virtue. “Sweetheart, we—”

“Wait,” James cuts him off. “Wait wait wait.”

He holds up a hand to cease all conversation. You look at him. He opens his mouth as if to say something, and belches loudly. Sirius recoils, face all screwed up.

“If we go to bed,” James goes on, nonplussed, “can we cuddle?” 

Remus appears to consider this. You perk up. It’s an intriguing prospect. “We can,” he decides, and you and James both grin, “but you have to finish your water and brush your teeth first. Okay?”

You both agree readily, and James hauls himself up using the back of the couch before offering you a hand. 

“I’ve got her, Prongs,” Sirius tells him, wrapping an arm around your waist and standing with you held against him. You blink at the return to your full height. Everything up here seems a bit spinnier than you’d left it. 

Sirius grunts when you lean on him more heavily. “Doing alright, doll?”

“Mm, bit dizzy,” you admit. Sirius adjusts his grip around your waist so he can take more of your weight. 

“Yeah?” he asks you, sounding worried.

“Yeah,” you say, then see an opportunity. You grin. “Must be swooning. Right? Because you’re so handsome.” 

His laughter shakes you both, and he brings you into the bathroom, helping you up onto the counter, where you sit with the cool glass of the mirror at your back. “You’re a dork.” 

“It’s why you love me.” You smize at Sirius as he passes you your toothbrush, holding it somewhat steady while he applies the toothpaste. 

“Do I?” He raises his eyebrows at you. “You've just kissed me with vomit mouth.” 

You pout, and Remus chuckles, keeping a cautious hand on James’ back as he leans over to kiss the top of your head. “We love you,” he promises. 

You look at James. He grins at you through a mouthful of toothpaste. “How lucky are we?"

[pixiesndberries]

𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐊 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐂𝐄 141 — 𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐊 𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄

CONTENTS : calling them while being drunk at 3:00 am.

CHARACTERS : captain price, soap, ghost, and gaz.

WARNING : none just on crack lmaoaoa 😭

AUTHOR'S NOTE : i need to think about this million times, and it took me million times to have a motivation also (i do nsfw..for the one who wanted to request *wink* *wink*) 😇

JOHN PRICE :

— lad is sleeping peacefully after a long rest after a tough mission, his nokia went ringing like hell and literally thought the fire alarm went BRAHHH. Old man was flabbergasted and looks like having an heart attack at 3:00 am.

DAD MODE 100 % he would actually think about it for a moment whether he would pick you up or not because he's unsure what things about to happen. Would be worried for a moment since your friends took over in the phone to help you make him pick you up.

WOULD 100 % NAG AT YOU IN THE CAR. I SAID WHAT I SAID 🗣️‼️ and it made the whole ride like this.

;

"price i think i will puke the cheerios i ate." you laugh with little hiccups while he was driving stressed while wearing his pajamas on. "hey hey, dont ya' fookin' open that damn window!" he says pulling you away while driving with one hand literally jamming in the whole rode as tokyo drift plays in the car radio.

SOAP :

— i feel like he's either the one calling you or he is with you 😭 ok but like let's stick with this scenario with him. He was having a nice sleep of course, and ik he snores like this IM SORRY LMAO and his phone started ringing like hell and he went crazy thinking it was the fire alarm.

he would pretend to act like he hates you for not inviting him to drink with you as he was getting ready to leave to pick you up; he's trying to stay in contact with you because first of all you are heavily drunk and just very very late so it's not THAT safe for you so he tried his best to keep in contact with you until he arrives.

He almost crash the car tbh and he almost hit a deer 😇.

;

"really not invitin' me? i feel offended." he chuckles teasing your drunk ass, "it's not like that!" you whine nudging him thinking he's actually mad at you. "do you hate me?" you asked looking at him like you were about to cry or something, "yes." "fuck you." "nope you're drunk." (the whole ride is just on crack tbh)

GHOST :

— MY MAN IS TRYING TO HAVE A REST ONCE FOR HIS LIFE 😭 (please let this man have a vacay) yet you were there, just as he feels like he's sleeping (ik damn that felt good for him) when suddenly HIS PHONE STARTED TO RING. Bro was ready to pull the trigger, but he took a deep breath; at first he never wanted to answer the phone but when he saw those messages that was typed by your friends saying that you need a ride home because you are heavily drunk. Okay for a moment he think about it he was like, if i pick this motherfucker up is there a benefit? okay what if something happens to them then it's my fault?

WHEN HE PICKED YOU UP HE HAS HIS BALACLAVA ON AND YOU WERE SO DRUNK THAT YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GETTING KIDNAPPED 😭‼️ and you were like asking for help and shit and he's just there continues to drive wishing he just made a better decision to burn his phone down. seriously.

after like a whole ass minute you finally shut up and just watch him drive silently 😞 and of course he was like "finally."

;

you were watching him drive silently when the car suddenly passed by your favourite fast food chain making you quickly go feral like hell, "I WANT A BITE PLEASE." you say as you keep pulling his shirt trying to make him stop driving, "no." he says as he just continues to drive tiredly, MAN WAS SO DONE. "please mr kidnapper 😭" "lord help me."

GAZ :

— like soap he was sleeping peacefully and snores like mimimimimi 😇💕 when you called and says that you needed a ride home because you were drunk (you tried insisting that you are not THAT drunk 😭) bro was worried so he was like okay sure so he didn't hesitate but to pick you up even though he still felt sleepy. He really cares for you so he really don't mind.

when he picked you up he helped you going inside the car, putting the car seat on a comfortable position; YOU ARE TREATED LIKE A ROYAL 🗣️‼️ You were mumbling and talking about some topics he doesn't know but continues to listen because he knows you are heavily drunk and you barely know what's happening.

HE'S THE TYPE OF GUY YOUR PARENTS WOULD TRUST FR ‼️

;

"-and and this guy came up on me and like hey shawty you need some good dicking there? And i was like fuck you dude!" you continue to babble even though it looks like you were already getting pulled by your sleep making Gaz laugh, "hey that's actually creepy thank god you went away from him." he says calmly as he continues to drive, "yeah yeah- and- and-"

─ REBLOGS, LIKES, AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED. FEEL FREE TO REQUEST!