#focus unbelievable
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got diagnosed with moderate sleep apnea today...chat is it over
#dcb me#realtalk though im excited to get my cpap machine#im about to be fucking unstoppable once i can finally get a good nights sleep#memory unparalleled#focus unbelievable#fitness legend#energy levels off da charts#gimme dat cpap machine man im so fucking READY
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it feels like a rite of passage to paint the ocean
(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)
#my art#artists on tumblr#original art#digital art#illustration#ocean#waves#sea#painting#been feeling down and out of sorts lately#the root cause might have had something to do with stress or being sick or burnout (or all 3 at the same time yay!)#but in the moment i couldn’t pin it down#which was unbelievably annoying bc that meant i was just miserable for no discernable reason#surprisingly this painting was what i needed to snap out of it#1.5 hrs of quiet focus on something simple#catharsis
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the thing about my thesis is i keep going in "i don't know anything. wait yes i do" circles
#like my priiiiiimary focus for my thesis is the pentateuch for a variety of reasons but i am still discussing other parts of da bible#in and out of translation... so it's like. well. i have to describe what the bible is. like. in general. and then dig in deep to why i care#so it's a mix of movement is important for animals and unbelievable nitpickery
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absolutely obsessed with pez dispenser debris i feel like a little baby holding ur characterization of izuku in my chubby gross hands and chewing on him chewing on him chewing on him. (also your characterization of everyone else????? absolutely delicious get in my mouth) i feel like there are three people in this world that understand the story i *wanted* my hero academia to be and you are one of them. UGH!
i’m vibrating at frequencies that could shatter glass just absolutely obsessed w/ everythinf about the way you write. ik you said this is your “bad writing” fic but like. your ability to just Tell an insanely poignant story in a way that is so endearing and engaging and genuinely FUN is something that i aspire to so much. ok that’s all goodnight
I’m unbelievably thrilled that so many people ended up liking the fic I started in a fugue state while Not Studying For The Bar Exam thank you for your kind words
#pez dispenser debris#shoutout to the fic that almost fucking killed me#definitely almost made me fail the bar#I’ve mentioned this before I think#I was taking the bar and when you’re taking the bar people insist you’re meant to study for like. several months minimum#and there I was fucking spiralling harder than I ever had in my entire fucking life. I was completely out of control.#I couldn’t focus for love or money. adhd as like. a real thing I have to accept I have has sort of been a journey. I have never gone into#such a horrific spiral in my entire life. I could not get myself to study. instead I was possessed by the most magical burst of creativity#I have ever had in my entire life. and that was pez dispenser debris.#it was electric. I’d never written so much so easily before. I was also sweating fucking bullets and chewing glass over how unbelievably#fucked I was. like the day of the test kept getting closer and I could not stop getting sucked into this fucking fic. I was acting like an#actual crazy person. someone messaged me thanking me for the fic because they were in the last leg of bar studying and needed the break and#I was like ‘hahahahah that’s so great I’m Utterly Fucked’#anyway I only dragged myself out of it ✨three days✨ before the bar exam#so I stayed up for ✨three days straight✨ and then ✨took the bar exam✨#the fact that I still passed is just proof that that test is fucking fake#so cheers to fucking pez dispenser debris the fic that almost made me fail the bar
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If Bryke won't give us water tribe warriors paint I will 😡😤❤️🔥
#korranok art#amorra#noarra#there are lots of things wrong with the rendering and colors but lets forget about it for a moment and focus in the unbelievable amount of#tension here👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
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I really need my body to find some hidden energy reserves that’ll sustain me for the next three days. Pregnant or not, I’ve got 2 assignments due on Tuesday and I’ve barely started either so pull it tf together.
#pregnancy brain#pregnancy fatigue#teachers college#it is so unbelievably hard to focus on schoolwork while pregnant#i’m so tired all of the time#and my attention span has gone to shit
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guys be honest should i make a "talk blog" for my sillies.... not a talk blog PER SE... i just want somewhere where i can share and dump tidbits about them without clogging their main or this blog because there's aaaaaa loooooooot i want to say about them (as in a group, as individuals, about their teams, about other npc groups, about their music) but i can't because i wanna keep their main #professional and that means making graphics and making everything make sense and easy to read WHEN I JUTS WANT TO YAPPPPPPPPPPP and idk there's something that is not making me want to keep everything in this blog 😭😭😭😭
#kinda like my aesthetic blog that is separated from their main#because i didnt want to clog#which reminds me WHEN was the last time i updated it...... unbelievable...#if i do it the posts will be either really long making me look like charlie in that explaining scene#or a ''yvan did this'' and a link to a tiktok#very unserious blog but serious TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE#because i want to share more about my silliesssssss#without having to sit down and spend hours making graphics and trying to make my english to english yknow#plus work has been beating my ass tbh i dont have. the focus to actually do something cute enough for their main blog#there's that ask game i mentioned weeeeeeeeeeeeeks ago but sighs
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the thing is that like the 8 episode season where each ep is one hour to an hour and a half long IS good IF. if if if. BIG IF. if it's a one season only show in the first place. if the whole story is contained and it is clearly over at the end of the very last episode and it was INTENDED to be that way not just rushed bc it got cancelled. that goes hard as hell. u binge the whole thing and feel hollow at the end and then start it all over again. but doing it with a show that is clearly intended to continue is crazy. if I'm supposed to sit with these characters for multiple seasons and I'm supposed to watch them develop and grow and experience the epic highs and lows of high school football then I NEED silly exposition episodes. I need episodes where people just talk and the action isn't really there. there needs to be a balance between jam packed crazy ep and slice of life ep where the characters get a breather and go on a goofier adventure. the 20 ep season format gives the characters time to become PEOPLE instead of just like. a guy on a screen. do u know what I'm saying
#like band of brothers. perfect format crazy long eps and a short season. only intended to be one season#or like. that show unbelievable with toni collette.#only 8 eps. each ep was an hour. but it was intended to be that way. it was telling one story only with a clear focus and a clear end#but if it's like. a show with many characters and an overarching plot beyond just what the one season you're watching is telling u#then u need. more than 8 episodes a season to get that point across and plant your clues#and get people INVESTED. u know what I mean#it's not that the 8 episode hour long episodes season format sucks. it's that they use it WRONG#anyway death to streaming tho that point still stands. I'm just saying#text post
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hermione struggles a bit with accidental magic when she's experiencing moments of heightened emotion. this continues into adulthood, but she does get better year after year with less severe/less frequent episodes
unlike other magical children who have their magic and how to control it explained to them by their parents when they have an outburst, muggleborns would have to deal with confusion/fear/rationalising. and children react to the people (especially adults) around them and tend to follow their lead. so, if her parents were to rationalise or be spooked by a bout of accidental magic, a little hermione would have done the same. shoving down her magic and internalising it, associating it so heavily as something that happens when she feels out of control
these habits are already well ingrained into her by the time she finally gets her hogwarts letter and though she learns to control her magic and channel it, she's still years behind the other students and those habits are deep-rooted
#i just think that ignoring muggleborn kids for 11+ years should have consequences#i find it so unbelievable that they would just be able to adapt like other magical kids who grew up in that society#like... they would be SO behind on everything#it's an entirely different community#and i don't think that got the focus it deserved#so if hermione reacts in a thread and some accidental magic happens: this is my reasoning#( about. )
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#vent but im struggling with writing atm. uni is really really stressful and everytime i go to focus on writing the fic it seems dreadful#i cant imagine anyone wanting to read it#and it comes naturally to me to compare and contrast myself to others and its a hideous trait of mine but it does keep me from my joys#i love writing them but i truly feel ppl r gonna get tired of me#i want to find the ease and love that comes to me with them its just difficult rn#feels like im interrupting and intruding the spaces of genuinely great fics#anyway maybe itll change soon maybe im just unbelievably stressed w disseetation and performance stuff
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hello!!!! i just wanted to ask if we can expect a continuation for the series u have going on,, the one where reader and sashisu are in high school and stuff?? i js wanted to know cause they way you write them is SO CUTE. something abt ur writing just feels so genuine and sweet and it actually makes my heart melt!! anyways, no pressure or anything i just wanted to know!! <33
anon this is probably the scariest moment of my life i don’t know what kind of crazy soul connection you and i have but . um . i’m actually…. in the middle of finishing the suguru part of that series 😭 like . right now . i’ll probably post it in a couple hours. i wasn’t satisfied with the series as a whole so i kind of unofficially scrapped it, but i’ll probably still post the parts i had planned — just on their own!!! i’ll probably go back and delete the satoru part i already have posted and then repost it on its own after rewriting it too…..
anyway. sorry for letting you down anon, i’m honestly really surprised anyone remembers it :’3 but yeah!!! the summer/suguru part will be posted today, and then the autumn/shoko part some other time…… and then maybe the winter part too…………. so . i mean. i guess i technically will be finishing the series, the parts just won’t be officially connected or anything like that!! i really hope that makes sense 😭 i’m just… not suited to writing series i think . but i’m soso overjoyed that you like my sashisu!! 🥺 i actually ended up taking the ending i had planned for that series and turning it into this fic, so feel free to check it out if you’re interested <333
#i know you sent this ask like . a second ago but i had to answer it bc 😭😭 it’s very insane to me that you sent this the moment you did#sashisu hivemind moment fr#hhhh that series though… i really just wasnt satisfied with the writing and . focus on the reader. i guess?#so when i post the parts individually i think it’ll be less reader-centered !!#but the overall dynamic and plot will be the same. the sugu part is abt sharing an umbrella w him :3#and the shoko part is abt taking the train w her :33#and then the winter part is sashisu and you going on a late night grocery store run bc thats the heighr of romance to me#ANYWAY . thank you so much for your interest anon 🥺 and for being so unbelievably sweet!!!!!! i love you <33#ask tag ✩
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My unpopular opinion is that Im0dna is a great example of "just because someone knows you the longest, doesn't mean they know you the best". They don't really underwater each other like other people in the party already do
Hi anon,
So the ask meme is done but I don't actually know if this was intended as part of that, as I also have the sort of personality that solicits unpopular opinions into my inbox anyway. (Also I am guessing underwater is a very funny autocorrect mishap for understand; I have been there).
Anyway, yeah. I think my favorite meta I've seen is that what Imogen and Laudna actually ask of each other is just to be there - because it is true that they have both lived incredibly lonely lives. For what it's worth I think loneliness/missing someone is perhaps the most common thread among Bells Hells, with a secondary theme being victims of circumstance/irrevocably altered by events beyond their control, and it frustrates me that a lot of framing of the ship ignores that Imogen and Laudna are not uniquely suited to understand this about each other. But it is true they have experienced loneliness that, in my opinion, is at least partially self-inflicted (also not unique) and that their response has been to be there for each other.
But it also means there's little room for change, because change threatens that status quo, and there's therefore no space to delve deeper. It's a little bit of the classic problem of if you start a romantic relationship with a friend and then break up, you might lose both the romantic relationship and the friendship. But it's more than that - Chetney and Imogen have zero romantic interest in each other and aren't even terribly close within the party, but when Chetney asks Imogen if she's okay Imogen is actually able to answer with some amount of honesty without pretending everything will work out, as she's not worried about making sure he feels comfortable. Deanna, who's known Imogen for less than a week, is able to address Imogen's constant use of psychic powers in a way that's not unkind but is in fact the honest sort of thing a best friend should be able to tell you. Or for another example, FCG's tendency to strongly urge people, including Imogen, to confront their pasts isn't always the most skilled, but it usually comes from a place of good intentions, whereas Imogen and Laudna's relationship feels...unconsciously transactional? I think we saw in the gnarlrock fight that they're just absolutely terrified of being in a fight and don't really know how to resolve conflict in a way that actually moves forward rather than smoothing things over. Like, it's not an unfair relationship - they're both getting the same companionship out of it - but there's not really space for one person to be angry at the other or to feel wronged. There's no room to breathe.
Anyway - I think the party split is really illuminating this! Imogen is benefiting immensely from this arc, as it both spotlights her relationships with other party members and gives her some time to process after being the central focus for so long. While I have to admit that Team Wildemount is the one I'm far more interested in for a number of reasons (fantastic guests, all the main PCs have cool plot hooks to explore, I love Uthodurn and Molaesmyr) I do hope that we get to see Laudna similarly have a chance to branch out (pun kind of intended).
#answered#Anonymous#critical role spoilers#cr tag#i need to write up about loneliness and choice tbh bc like#honestly the aeormaton date conversation ACTUALLY did everything people claimed the 3x49 conversation was supposed to be doing#and it just feels so disingenuous to ignore that fearne's felt abandoned and orym's experienced profound loss#and ashton fcg and chetney have all been altered in ways far beyond their control and been incredibly lonely as well#sorry to tag rant on your ask anon but like. i still maintain this isn't a notp for me yet#it's just...generally not working and then the fanon is so unbelievably dismissive to everyone else in the party and wildly biphobic#that whenever i'm like let's focus on the positive! my brain instead decides to be Hater Columbo like JUST ONE MORE THING
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she watched pasquale's father get arrested. that is when lila realised his approach wasn't the one she needed to take to win. she has known this way back then. she never talks about writing books as a way of becoming a famous author for the sake of becoming a famous author, it has always been about making money to accomplish something different.
#she KNEW it had to be stefano on some level. but then stefano turns out to be a pawn. so what now!!!!! WHAT NOW!!!!!#WEDDING DAY REALISATION + 'did you exchange a walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage???'#the stakes are always sky high with lila. which is why elena's narration is so unbelievably touching...#elena's story of lila won't focus on the knife in lila's hand. it will tell you about how beautiful she looked holding it#l'amica geniale#lila cerullo 🫀#ferranteposting#letters from stephanie*
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god i wish ao3 clout paid the bills. gonna walk into job interviews for professional writing positions like “WELL. i am kind of a big deal, you know. SEVERAL people on the internet say i’m good at writing bullshit about cartoon characters yelling at each other,”
#i'm not like BIG big but i got lucky enough in my timing with the owl house fandom that my stats page is like. mindboggling right now#i would not WANT ao3 writing to pay the bills because of how that would undermine the site purpose and cause legal hassles#BUT I WISH IT COULDDDDDDD#i gotta focus more on writing boring bullshit to claw my way above the poverty line. but :(#i spent a full year doing that not too long ago and it was. so unbelievably fucking miserable.#and i was still poor. so.
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#kiddos birthday is coming up#and it’s on a weekend when my parents work#so I told them if they can’t find anyone to cover their shift then I’ll bring him by after they’re off work so they can see him#and they said it’s fine to just come by afterwards#so I mentally prepared for that#and now my mom is calling me and telling me she’s gonna try and see if someone can come in for her so at least she comes#and my anxiety just clawed up my stomach and into my throat#I hate everything about this#I’m going to do my best to just focus on my son#but my god it’s hard#it’s hard to ignore all the bad things#there’s so many bad things and just one really really good thing which is him#this is fine I’m fine#I’m not but it will be over soon#which I hate to say too#because it’s his special day#but the amount of stress it’s causing me is unbelievable
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would it be unhinged of me to write a rae doole x reader fic but its hurt comfort that just completely diverges from canon bc she deserves love. haven't even seen all of black snake moan but u know, it's that christina ricci brain rot talking
#text#this is so unbelievably niche and i KNOW id only be writing it for myself fkfkf#for Now. ill focus on marilyn requests. but pls know this is ROTATING in my mind#black snake moan#christina ricci
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