peaceposts

[tadc-harlequin-au]

Introducing: the official Dance Rush x Souls-like AU collab!

(credits to @nobody-nexus for the initial sketch of SL!Pomni <3)

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY NOW AND IT'S HERE, IT'S FINALLY HERE!

As I've said before, the Dance Rush x Souls-like collab is a special event to celebrate my birthday. The Amazing Digital Dance Rush is an AU owned by @nobody-nexus, my lovely bf <3, and is ABSOLUTELY worth checking out.

During this event, there wouldn't be changes in the scenery yet. That is, until Pomni asks Caine, from his office desk, what the golden microphone is for.

He then says that he's been "testing out an event to keep things fresh", without having to rely on boss-rushes entirely to entertain the current players, since it might "get boring".

He then whisks Pomni away to an entirely new map, an altered version of the Main lounge of the manor.

(Couldn't finish this one, I got really sick at the time of making this.)

Once Pomni is done exploring, Caine then takes her to the Idols stage, where she'll be facing down with three chosen idols in a third person, bullet-hell styled gameplay mayhem. A "Dance Rush event", if you will. ;)

(Sorry, I couldn't finish this one either. Body aches be damned)

There are three bosses for this event, and they are the DR variants whom are completely AI, and non-sentient.

Defeating "Idol_1" gives Pomni the Dance Rush skin, and an unlockable cyberpunk sword, as well as a new special called "Style break". (For normal players post-canon, they'll get a DR!Pomni NPC, being all sorts of useful from giving out gameplay tips, to offering a second chance on a halfway checkpoint if the player fails the current run.)

Defeating "Idol_2" allows Jax to access the Dance Rush skin, and a new special. (For normal players post-canon, they'll get a DR!Jax NPC, who will openly berate and flirt at the same time. He gives out side quests that allows the players to find stronger upgrades for main game.)

Defeating "Idol_3" allows Caine to change into the Dance Rush outfit. Normal players in post-canon will get a golden microphone, as well as a DR!Caine NPC that is just as wacky as the original is.

(He also finally permits access to the rest of the event's contents, such as a brand new map that's entirely explorable, and filled with mini-games if players wanted a break from main game's contents. He also gives Pomni the option to "mute" the pain system of the game, but warns her that doing this ruins "immersion". Ofc, Pomni doesn't care lmfao)

Both the Agent!Gummigoo and Agent!Moon skins remain locked until Dance Rush!Pomni and Caine are "topped in their high score leaderboards" (via doing a no-hit S+rank run), respectively.

Both the Agents, once unlocked, give out specialized items that aid Pomni during the gameplay, as well as having new rounds of dialogues that are immensely different from their original souls-like counterparts.

Caine never got to work on the others beyond Jax since if this was canon, this event would take place around Pomni's late game.

It's unlikely that this'll be a one-post event, so once I recover from my flu I'll be making more DRxSL content.

[salty-says]

What if Luffy, Sanji, Zoro, with a S/O (significant other) who makes them a basic grilled cheese sandwich for a midnight snack, but they never had it before so it’s their first time trying it? and they loved it. 🥰

Cute!!

Monster trio x reader!!

Luffy

Luffy burst through the door of the galley startling you. “I smell food!”

Your hand was on your chest as you tried to calm your breathing, scared it was originally Sanji coming to berate you for using the kitchen.

“Luffy..” you breathed. “Don’t scare me like that next time,” you scolded before focusing back on your cooking and flipping the sandwich over.

Luffy whined and walked on over to you and placed his head in your shoulder to peer at what you were making. He cocked his head in confusion, “What’s that?”

You turned to him and smiled, “it’s just some grilled cheese.”

“But there’s bread too. You didn’t just grill cheese.”

You giggled and turned off the heat on the stove and scooped it onto a plate. “Well yes. But it’s called that because when we cook it the cheese melts into the bread and it tastes super yummy.”

Luffy looked excited now, “Can I have some! Pleaaaaseee??” As if on cue Luffy’s stomach growled.

“Of course Luf. Let me know if you like it and I can make more,” You smiled as you handed him the plate.

Luffy took it excitedly and stuffed it into his mouth, “Yummy!” His exclamation muffled.

“I’m glad,” you chuckled before getting out the supplies again to make more.

Luffy smiled and kisses your cheek, “Another!”

Zoro

You woke up at around 3:30 am with a gurgling stomach. You then groaned knowing it was almost time for you to take over the night shift for watch duty. Rubbing your eyes you stumbled to the kitchen to make yourself a quick snack.

With little supplies left you decided to make some simple grilled cheese sandwiches, something that reminded you of home.

After you finished making the first one, Zoro meandered into the kitchen. “Cook I want sak-..oh It’s you babe.”

You smiled at him and played the first sandwich and prepped the second one, “I’ll take over watch duty in just a minute. Wanted to finish making a snack real quick.”

Zoro walked up behind you and wrapped his arms around your back. He breathed in your scent and laid his chin on your head, “What’s that?”

“A grilled cheese sandwich,” you responded simply.

“Never heard of it.”

You’re eyebrows cocked, “Really?”

Zoro shrugged, “Looks just like cheese between bread.”

“That’s exactly what it is.”

“And It’s good?” Zoro asked as he leaned over to get a closer look.

You smiled and picked up the first one you made and turned around and handed it to him, “See for yourself.”

Zoro hesitated at first before grabbing it and taking a small bite. Then another, “Hm, this is actually pretty good.”

“I always make these when I have night watch. Keeps me going.” You turned back around.

Zoro finished the rest of the sandwich and wrapped his arms back around your waist, “maybe you should make me some more too for my shifts.”

You smiled, “That can be arranged.”

Sanji

Sanji had contracted a pretty bad stomach flu and was out of cooking commission for a few days. This meant the crew had to muster up meals with whatever meager skills they had.

He of course felt awful because he couldn’t carry out the one job he was supposed to do. But everyone stepped up and cooked simple meals to get through it.

A couple days in without the cook, it was your turn to prepare a lunch. So you decided to make a really simple meal from your childhood. Tomato soup and grilled cheese. This was also a good meal Sanji would be able to stomach coming off of his sickness.

Once you had fed the crew who all approved it was time to have Sanji review it. You prepared a plate and a bowl and brought it to his room. He was reading peacefully in his bed where Chopper demanded he stayed.

When you came in a bright smile came to his face, “Mon ange! It feels like eternity since I last saw you!”

You chuckled and placed the tray on his bedside table, “I missed you too, Sanji.”

He looked at the tray and studied it, “What’s this?”

“It was my turn to make a meal so I decided to make some grilled cheese and tomato soup. It’s not much but it warms the soul and tasted yummy.”

Sanji smiled and cupped your cheeks, bringing you in for a quick kiss, “I’m so sorry my illness made you take on extra responsibilities. I’ve never heard of this dish but I must say my love it does look great. I can’t wait to try it.”

You blushed, “Oh Sanji, it’s nothing really. I’m glad you took time to rest.”

Sanji picked up the sandwich and took a bite. You watched apprehensively wondering what he would say. A smile quickly made its way onto his face as he swallowed.

“Mon amour this I must say is truly amazing! You must make it for me again,” he exclaimed.

You stared at him in shock, “really?!”

He nodded enthusiastically as he took another bite, “I wish my poor stomach would allow me to enjoy more but I did enjoy what I could have. You are absolutely amazing my love.”

Your heart warmed as he complimented you, “Thank you, Sanji. I would definitely love to cook for you again.”

[were--ralph]

Worked at a Walmart for four years in the distant past as a cashier. They gave us impossible targets for scanning items quickly and then used the shifting goalposts to deny bonuses/raises. A cashier who hit the A+ range for scanning items was given a ten cent raise. She had been working for that particular Walmart for fifteen years.

I have a chronic stress injury from that job I still suffer from 10-15 years later. I wasn’t even twenty yet, but my wrists got fucked up for the rest of my life. These mega corporations will ruin your body and your life, and then will say that you don’t get your bonus because there was too much theft that year, because you didn’t move fast enough, because they didn’t schedule you for enough hours to qualify, because you called in sick after being exposed to an infectious disease at their store.

It wasn’t covid when I worked at Walmart, it was the 2009 swine flu epidemic. We were berated and reprimanded for being sick. One of my coworkers was fired for missing shifts — she had swine flu, and she had caught it at work, and so did like ten other cashiers at my store.

People don’t realize what it’s like to work at these places. It kills you. It just breaks you down. You see all they do to stop someone from stealing a 10 dollar lipstick, and how little they will do to protect their workers and keep them safe.

Anyway steal from Walmart

!

[ladykailitha]

Staking My Claim Part 1

Hello! Because of my flu, I've been working on low stakes stuff to help with my foggy head. I promise this week to be back on to the WIPs I have going to be build up my backlog again.

This started off as a silly "let the boys be goofy" and turned into a "found family with ONE goofy moment in it". Sorry about that. I blame the cough medicine honestly.

***

Eddie and his friends were enjoying a rare night where they didn’t have to play at Cora’s Den in Indy when it happened.

Now, Cora’s Den wasn’t gay bar per se, but as it was one of the most inclusive places in Indy, the normies considered it one.

So when he came back from going to the bathroom he leaned into the center of their table so he could whisper. “Tell me that’s not Steve Harrington at the bar in a crop top and cutoffs.”

All three of his friends turned to the bar as one.

Gareth smacked his lips. “As much as I would love to, man, no can do.”

“And is he really flirting with that dude?” Eddie asked with a wince.

Jeff raised an eyebrow. “I’m seriously doubting that. Looks like Stevie could use a rescue.”

Eddie turned and looked over. Sure enough the guy that had been flirting with Steve had been replaced by a new guy. And one that didn’t look like he was getting the hint to fuck off.

“Go on,” Brian said. “You know you want to. He’s clearly got a thing for the guys and you might even get laid for the first time in months.”

Eddie nodded curtly and slapped the table. “Right.”

*

Steve was having a good time until this guy came along. He just wouldn’t take no for answer. He wasn’t looking to go home with anyone. His parents had just blown out of town again and Steve was looking for a way to blow off some steam. Relax after the last week of sheer exhaustion of dealing with them and their judgments. He usually went with Robin so that people would leave them alone. Only she had the late shift tonight and the early shift in the morning.

He was going to wait until the weekend when they could both go and have fun, but Robin insisted that he go, otherwise he’d be moping around Family Video all week. So he came out tonight, not really out to get drunk, or laid, just to have a good time.

This was not that.

Suddenly an unopened bottle of his favorite beer was being pressed into his hand as a warm arm wrapped around his waist.

“There you are, baby,” a soft voice cooed. “Sorry I’m late, work was a nightmare.”

Steve let himself relax into the man’s side. “I’m just glad you made it, Eds.”

Eddie grinned at him. “I swear old man Thacher is getting worse in his old age.”

Steve laughed. “I know, right? I went in for an oil change and he berated me for twenty minutes on why couldn’t I just do it myself.”

Eddie frowned. “Don’t you have a BMW that requires a special oil?”

Steve pursed his lips and nodded. “Yup!”

Eddie turned to look at the guy who was standing there with his mouth open. “Are you still here?”

The guy bristled. “I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but I was here first.”

“He’s my boyfriend,” Steve said, straightening up, but still remained plastered to Eddie’s side. “Eddie Munson. Lead singer and guitarist for Corroded Coffin. You know, the band that plays here every weekend?”

“Yup,” Eddie lied easily. “So where’s Birdie tonight? Working the late shift?”

“Ha!” the man snapped. “That’s not his friend’s name. His friend’s name is Robin! I knew you were a fake.”

Eddie blinked at him as if the man had grown three heads. “Robin Buckley. Robin is a bird. Bird plus Buckley, ergo Birdie. I have nicknames like that for all my friends. And any friend of Stevie’s is a friend of mine.”

Steve rubbed his nose along Eddie’s jaw affectionately. “And how did you know what her name was?” he asked, not even looking at the guy. “I don’t think I recall seeing you around before.”

The man’s face paled and he turned on his heel, storming off in a huff.

“Thanks for that,” he murmured into Eddie’s ear. “I’m usually pretty good at getting assholes to lay off, but he wouldn’t take no for answer.”

“Your inner mean girl couldn’t make him go away?” Eddie whistled. “That is persistent.”

Steve giggled. Then he blushed and looked down. That was when he remembered the drink in his hand. “So what’s with the unopened beer?”

“I didn’t want you to think I was another creep by bringing you an open bottle.”

Steve looked up at him and blinked a couple of times. “Wow, you really are my knight in leather armor tonight.”

Eddie took the bottle and popped it open with his bulky ring on his middle finger. “There you go.”

“That was so hot,” Steve said stupidly.

Eddie threw back his head and laughed. “Duly noted.”

*

Steve was invited back to their table and had an absolute blast.

He was coming back from the bar with a couple of drinks in his hands when someone bumped into him, almost making him spill the drinks.

“Hey, watch it!” he hissed.

Immediately Eddie was at his side in an instant.

“You okay?” he asked taking a couple of the drinks from him.

“Yeah,” Steve groused. “Just some asshole not watching where he was going. I didn’t even get a drop on my shoes.”

Eddie snickered. “Yeah, okay. You and your jock reflexes.”

Steve leaned over and whispered, “I’m also very flexible in bed.”

“As in top or bottom or are we talking positions?” Eddie asked, running his tongue over his bottom lip slowly.

“Both.”

Eddie threw back his head and laughed. “No need to go so hard, baby. I was already wanting to take you home with me tonight.”

“What about your friends?” Steve asked grinning back. “It sounded like you all share the apartment.”

“We have a signal for if we bring anyone back,” Eddie assured him. “Also we know to keep it down because the apartment walls are thin and not just inside the apartment.”

Steve’s mouth formed an O. “I got you.”

He knew there were pros and cons to living in an apartment. Having your neighbors that close were definitely a con.

“You still living at home?” Eddie asked as they made their way through the crowd.

Steve nodded. “Yeah. It’s not like my parents are ever there. Though it would just be my luck that they’d come home while I’m out the queerest bar in Indy.”

“Not a fan of queers?” he asked once they reached the table.

“They’re fans of Reagan,” Steve said with a grimace. “I’m pretty sure that automatically puts them on the opposing team.”

The entire table recoiled in sympathy.

“Fuck, that’s harsh!” Jeff said. “Thankfully my parents aren’t Reagan supporters, though they have raised many an eyebrow at Eddie here.”

Eddie face turned into a feral grin.

Brian shrugged. “My parents don’t care as long Eddie doesn’t shove it down their throats.”

Steve rolled his eyes. That old nugget. Walking down the street holding hands with someone of the same gender was shoving it down their throats as far as they were concerned.

Gareth looked at his friends wide eyed. “Um...sucks to be you guys I guess, but my parents adore Eddie, don’t mind him or I being gay and threatened to sue the school over the devil worshiping allegations about our D&D club. So...”

“Three cheers for the Hughes family!” Eddie said.

They all cheered and clanked their glasses together. They downed their drinks and roared with unrestrained joy.

Steve could feel a rush of blood around his ears. The room faded in and out and it sounded like Eddie and his friends were under water. He staggered off his stool and nearly stumbled to the floor.

Then the world went black.

***

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Also I'm not sure if this post canon or no monster AU. I can't decide, but it's ambiguous either way.

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[wintersera]

12 — help me out (half written)

as soon as you walk out of class you were met with a shorter girl excitedly waiting with her books in her hands. she was tapping her feet really REALLY fast with a goofy ass grin plastered on her face.

“i thought you were gonna wait outside college? what are you doing outside my class?” you giggled a little, seeing her eyes light up from seeing you in front of her.

oh you thought a little.. she’s kinda cute

“OH? sorry i got a little too excited, i don’t usually have people coming around my house”

“aww that’s okay. but excited to study? i’ve never seen someone so enthusiastic about working on a project before. it’s kinda cute and funny to see how you’re so happy about this”

you noticed something, luckily she was too ecstatic to even realise because she would’ve been severely embarrassed, but by the way she jumped at your comment made your heart pang.

“so your house right?”

“yup! it’s not too far from here so we can walk there”

“perfect, my legs have been hurting from last night… god”

“what did you so last night that made them hurt that much?” tilting her head a little, just like a puppy.

“i ran around my neighbourhood like a lunatic. that wolf needs to be found- like what if it’s cold and lonely? but at the same time i’m thinking it’s good that she escaped, because imagine the mom came after me… thinking about it makes me shiver”

“oh.. ah yeah the wolf”

“you’re not gonna berate me like my friends did right?”

“no no, i find it nice that you took in an animal. seems like you really care about it”

“of course i do! poor puppy was cold and injured- i had to do something”

with that conversation flowing you both drifted out to the exit. minjeong smiling and laughing at your silly little rants about whatever came to your mind at the time.

—

she was right. for some reason her house was really really damn close to the college. the walk was actually really relaxing, you and minjeong just talking like you were old friends who were catching up with eachother until- BOOM you were at her front of her door.

“oh by the way- parents aren’t in so you can relax and do whatever BUT of course, don’t break anything”

“cool i’ll definately make myself comfortable. so… where’s you room jeongie?”

“ah- uh… haha upstairs” you made yourself reaalll comfortable in her house, walking up the stairs with no hesitation after you took of your shoes and then eventually out of minjeongs line of sight. with you outside her visions, she whipped out her phone and quickly opened the bird app.

you wondered why she took so long to come into her room, feeling a little bit perplexed by the rooms location you called out her name- “jeongie help me find your room”

“oh yeah sure. let me just-“ walking up the stairs and guiding you to where her room is “you can sit here and get ready i’ll just be getting some snacks for us”

“SNACKS?”

—

and now you were here, studying at her desk, while she looks over your shoulder with curiosity, stumbling a little while she’s standing.

“soooooo… what have you planned out?”

“eehhh nothing much actually, i’m just outlining this one thing and then we can wing it? i think?? i dont know jeongie.. do you have any ideas?”

…..

“jeongie?” her sudden silence was odd. why did she suddenly go quiet? you questioned if she even fainted, but no she didn’t. she stood there silently. her eyes darting around the rooms, hands clutching her shirt and panting heavily. was she about to have a panic attack- “jeongie are you… okay?”

“yeah… um… i feel r-really really weird and hot right now? i don’t know i feel funny… like really funny” her cheeks were flushed, bright red. she didn’t look like she had the flu so why… was she like this? you placed your palm on her forehead checking the temperature and god was she hot. there were no symptoms of her having the flu previously… strange, you thought.

“mmm… y/n… feels so weird…” she looked at you, like as if she was asking you for something. she had those begging puppy eyes that melted your heart and shattered them into tiny little fragments.

“do you need me to call someone? like a friend of yours or something or maybe even the ambulance?? like are you okay?”

“i- i dont know…” stammering as she tried her absolute best not to look you in the eye “i… i think i’ll be okay i just? i feel strange… it’ll pass…”

“uh… okay just say what you need and i’ll get it for you”

there was a prolonged silence. your mind was dropped into a silent panicked state, what could you do to help her out if she didn’t know what she was feeling? let alone your lack of knowledge of what exactly she was feeling. again, you believed she was having a sudden panic attack. i mean they do come at random occasions so that could be it right?

not even a few seconds pass by and her fingertips played with the collar of your shirt. you were still sat down of course, but with your chair swivelled around to see minjeong.

…what on earth is she doing?

“it’s weird.. i really know it is but… i can’t stop thinking about you right now…. all i can think about is you and i don’t know why”

frozen in confusion and maybe even shock, you had no idea what she was on about. she was kinda acting weird, scratch ‘kinda’, she was weird… yet strangely cute.

“what…? what do you want me to do about that information?”

“…help me out…” her breath shakey as she spoke.

a/n: ARE THEY ABOUT TO FU-

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[coldshare]

I know you’ve done contagion scenarios already, but please do more! I love your stuff!

thank you anon! ♡ i realize it's been a hot while (pls forgive the wait), but i missed writing and posting prompts here. here goes...

-

a character (A) who is always snapping at others to not pass on their colds, but who is simultaneously hypocritical about their own standards. they can barely go one cold/flu season without berating others to cover their mouth ('why did you even come in today? i can hear you sneezing from all the way over here!' or 'have you ever thought of covering your mouth?' or 'can you take another step back? i really don't want to catch that' or 'they have a cold? you'd better keep your distance')

on the rare occasion when they come down with a bad cold, though, it doesn't even cross their mind to be considerate. so what if they let out another, spraying sneeze? it's not like they can help it, the sneezes just snuck up on them! you'd understand how hard it is to cover if you had their cold... the sneezes are just so unpredictable!

why didn't they stay home today? well, the world isn't going to stop for a cold, obviously! and what if someone catches this from them? well, clearly someone else wasn't careful enough with their own cold if they have this cold in the first place, so why should they be the first one to pick up the torch? they sneeze openly, reveling in how good it feels to get them out, and blow their nose loudly and with no shame, oblivious to - or unbothered by - the irritated looks sent their way.

but what they don't account for is...

colds can often be invisible. one day, another character - B - comes in with a cold, and has to occupy a space that A is later going to occupy. maybe it's an office cubicle, or an elevator, or an aisle at the grocery store; maybe it's a particular seat on a train, or a table at a cafe.

either way, B - who has a terrible, contagious head cold - finds themselves sniffling incessantly, so much that they have to wipe their nose on their hands to keep it from dripping. and god, their nose is so ticklish... they find themselves with their eyebrows scrunching up, eyes half lidded, to sneeze and sneeze. some sneezes get caught in a cupped hand, the spray narrowly escaping from between their fingers; some they don't even bother to cover, given how fruitless the endeavor feels.

B really wouldn't have shown up if they had any choice, but for whatever reason, they're here, running errands or getting work done, or heading home... best to go through with it, then. it's a good thing there aren't many people around to hear them sneezing.

by the time B is done, the air is heavy with contagious particles. everything they've touched is thoroughly contaminated, every surface gleaming with spray. they pack their things up and leave, but not before unleashing another spraying sneeze into the area

...a few hours later, enter A, unsuspecting, ready to use the space as they believe they're entitled to...

[straycalamities]

Hello, how are you

Why do you Like Entre and Swag?

i’ve been sick almost the entire past week but i think im getting better

do you mean as a relationship? ho boy. well, first of all, seeing as a lot of ships ive gotten into after it end up sharing a lot of similarities, i think its safe to say it became one of my favorite ship dynamics period

this got long fast

enemies/rivals-to-lovers isn’t anything new for me seeing as i dedicated, on-and-off, 8+ years to naruto and sasuke as one of my first hardcore ships that i still enjoy

and in general i just really like ships between characters who bicker and banter a lot (vash and wolfwood from trigun being a perfect example of this) but still being something more significant to each other than either of them truly realize until it sinks in either slowly or forcefully

and especially as i’ve grown older, i’ve gotten more and more and more interested in the intricacies and complications of having two very…hmmm damaged? i guess? personalities trying to find something that works because they need it to

which the other two ships have as well, but in a more “toxic yaoi” way, ya feel? LMAO like! hannibal and will graham from the hit show :) which that came after swagtre but it still stands as it got me to appreciate that aspect of their relationship even more than i did

swagtre is in no way synonymous to hannigram. hannigram is on a different level of delicious toxic yaoi, BUT it goes to show what ive opened up my ship palate to voraciously

even so, that’s moreso the early stage of their relationship, which is fun! but also not the whole story

i guess the main thing that initially drew me in was that i’ve always had a weakness for characters like swag. he’s so full of bravado, performative self-interest, defusing every little thing with a joke, and all the while coming off as a destructive idiotic selfish little brat. meanwhile the truth that resides is much deeper than that. that he does care, he just doesn’t know how, so he does his best which…is easily overlooked because he’s uncomfortable with being seen for being genuine in any way because it makes him feel vulnerable and blah blah this ain’t a swag study

but anyways truffula flu made me like him a normal amount! :)

then there’s entre who wears his heart on his sleeve moreso. he’s always been more honestly reactive, that’s why his mainverse it’s so fun to pick on him, and it didn’t get numbed by the apocalypse all that much. entres also a guy who takes things for face value at first. then there’s also the fact he used to have such a hero/senpai-crush on swag before the whole thing even happened and they’d even became pretty friendly acquaintances

and now he’s having to wrestle with the fact everyone who used to like him, hates him, except dave and bitter. and anyone else that might? probably dead. and of course! why wouldn’t they? his big mistake that cost the world

and swag is the loudest reminder of them all. forcibly inching and digging and clawing his way into entres psyche and mind until he finds himself using all of swags same words at himself during moments of self-hatred. self-hatred that’s been there all his life but now it has a burning world to reference. and swags voice mingling with his mother’s.

and entre may get defensive and bite back and try to turn things around on swag, but he can never truly say swags wrong. because he’s not! entre fucked up everyone else’s lives over a deeply selfish and shallowly thought-through decision. and even if swag is also a capitalist self-serving asshole, well he only destroyed his own environment, he didn’t end civilization as they know it

and that just makes it worse than the preachy “hippie” types that used to nag at him before. someone who’s in his same ilk is now berating him

and while entres never Not risen to rage-bait. he absolutely never took the phrase “don’t feed the trolls” to heart, he also has deeper reasons why with swag he always throws himself at the opportunity to try and defend or twist things, because it’s hitting him so much harder than everyone else (besides 72)

so yes, when swag keeps saying entres obsessed with him, he’s actually right! entre IS and has been since swag forced the jester hat on him and paraded him around camp as a spectacle. one that he can never truly deny that he deserves

i also think we should go back to entres pre-apocalypse feelings about swag because it’s important to note that entre wanted to Be swag. he looked at swag and saw the man he wanted to grow into. maybe less childish and gross, but the charisma behind it all, the way that even despite that, he had so many wrapped around his finger and every word

and the thing with early entre, is he always directly compared himself with other oncelers. sizing himself up against them and like…really it just makes sense right? to him, they were all iterations of himself, achieving and accomplishing or even failing different things. and even if at first the multiverse unnerved him, he started to use it to his advantage. i mean he got 72 to mentor him, he was lifting tips n tricks off others like swag, and he was directly taking notes on how Not to be off others (One, Bitter, Strangecase, Stone (sorry man ilu) and more bc this list is longer than the idol list LMAO)

so thats just more to really hammer in how intrinsic to entres identity swag became and it became more palpable in the worst way in truffula flu

this is all as an aside to the crushing guilt of his giant mistake itself but we all know how he feels abt that

and for swag, i mean don’t take my word here as word of god because i don’t THINK my theory here is confirmed to be canon, but im pretty sure he saw himself in entre as well. like it went both ways. and swag felt fear AND i guess relief? if that makes sense that it was entre instead of him. like this guy is very much Like him and any of them coulda done this, but it was entre, not swag. and that’s why swag is very insistent on not letting entre forget it, because deep down he’s terrified that it could’ve been him if entre hadn’t done it first

and so he looks down on him and beats him even further down as a way to kinda uhhh make himself feel better? except it doesnt. it never makes him feel better but it DOES make him feel not as worse as he could, or thinks he could if he just let the guy go after daring to make such a fool of himself in front of everyone

i think, as much as entre sees himself and how he wants himself to be in swag, swag sees himself in entre and what he doesn't want to be. and entre changes it to him seeing all the stuff he doesn't like about swag, the pieces of him he doesn't want to mimic because he refuses to continue to admit to himself that he still envies and looks up to the man swag is, because even at the end of the world, he's one of the few who seems to have something figured out that works for him. he actually seems to enjoy himself in this hell. he seems to feel free to find happiness and entre couldnt be more envious of that

but then as more and more people crowd into their camp, and they get to a baseline and learn the uhhh capabilities of their survival companions, they also learn to realize that they operate on the same wavelength the most even if neither of them admit it. obviously everyone wants out of this hell, but i dont think any of them tenaciously chase after that ambition as much as swag and entre do, for their own reasons

most of the rest of the camp has taken a sort of acceptance to the situation either in a pragmatic or pessimistic way. and of course nobody wants this to stay the way it is, but they don't have that sort of...all-encompassing fire to find a way to reverse their situations as much as swag and entre. i mean we did have bitter's optimism for a bit there, but he was doomed so like...what other option did he have other than believing in entre, but it was absolutely rooted in nothing. even entre knew that.entre especially knew that. bitter was deteriorating the fastest he'd ever seen it and if he hadn't been able to find a way to slow it down in the other ppl who took weeks to turn, then what was he going to do for the guy taking days?

so all bitter's optimism did was make entre feel sicker with guilt for everything and completely drove the little grip he had on hope into the ground. especially by making him take his first un-turned life. especially because, i think we have to address this here to fully understand why entre goes the way he does afterwards: bitter was never truly bitter to entre. bitter was himself. bitter was the likely future entre saw himself walking towards. out of every other onceler further ahead along from him, successful or aftermath or otherwise, bitter felt the most real for him

bitter was always his own failure even before it happened literally and live right before his eyes. that's always what he meant to entre even in mainverse/pre-truffula flu. that's why he made such a dedication to trying to butt his way into bitter's life. that's why he spoiled him and wormed his way into his heart, because he was trying to put that energy out there that one day, if this were to become literally his fate, someone would do this for him as well. or maybe he'd put enough good karma out there with doing this for bitter, that this wouldn't even become him at all!

that is exactly why entre was so stricken after his death. that's why it hurt and broke him so hard. he didn't know bitter long enough for his cries of "he's my best friend!" to fully be true. if anyone was entre's best friend at the time, it was 72, or dave, or his own mother. it was not bitter, bitter was his pet project. bitter was the poisoned dart that seared in striking him, and slowly ate at him after he was gone. bitter was him fully being unable to run from the consequences and culpability of his own actions. because now this was something that was clearly, unignorably, happening right in front of his eyes and now the blood was directly on his hands

bitter was his future self and his sealed demise that came with it. bitter was his destroyed future. bitter was his own mortality.

entre does come to realize something akin to this later on, but i guess i didn't make it understandable enough because i think a lot of people missed that this was the true narrative going on underneath the surface. which is my bad and on me, i could've done a better job, but ya. this was always my intention and it's a very key part in understanding why entre is the way he becomes and does what he does afterwards

which, back to swag, is his doing to entre. because swag does strong-arm him into and making him believe there was no alternative to entre killing bitter who swag DID, as anyone else did at the time, believe entre's statement that entre saw him as his best friend, but that also meant that was even more entre's problem to solve to him. and it's something entre finds hard to forgive swag for for a while after, even as his own guilt berates him for his own involvement in creating this fate for bitter, there's always that part of him that blames swag for forcing him to actually face the consequences of his actions. because, as most oncelers, entre doesnt like that very much LMAO

and yet despite it all, it still, in its own twisted way, makes him feel the most seen by swag. if that makes sense?? especially as 72 made it abundantly clear he was disappointed in him and didn't even seem to know who entre really was anymore. the survival needs and guilt had warped entre towards a vitriolic survivalist away from that bright eyed young man that he had taken in.

and then of course, nobody else really seemed to want to push a deeper connection with him at the time for this or that reason. so he had dave, who he personally saw as still just an employee so of course dave was with him and on his side, he had that employee loyalty. dave became his right hand, but that also meant that entre felt that he couldnt confide as much in dave because it's hard to explain but it's like...since dave was working FOR him, he didn't want to muddle it up with personal feelings to keep dave sharp. that's what entre thought at the time anyways

and so, for better or worse (mainly worse) who stuck around and kept nosing endlessly into entre's business and his life and burying himself in his side like a thorn he couldnt remove and absolutely couldnt forget. well that was swag.

in this sort of fucked up whirlwind...swag became the most emotionally significant person in entre's life. especially as swag started to show that he DID gave at least half a shit. and after their shouting matches that got swag to admit this little tip of the iceberg or that. entre did get to wondering what else there was going on underneath that. it became something he wanted to dig at to find out.

despite how they bickered and butted heads, entre always felt more comfy telling swag things he wouldnt or would no longer tell anyone else. swag's little bits of sympathy or lightheartedness became little crumbs of something that entre subsisted off of to keep going, because, despite everything, he still looked up to him. he still admired him and what he was capable of and what he could do. and how he didnt seem to let anything that was going on bring him down. he kept his shine.

and for swag (again not word of god here) i think he liked that entre DID butt against him. obviously he had fun with rocky and one. but (and this IS word of god/confirmed canon) they weren't as much his friends as he touted they were. swag struggles creating (and especially maintaining) close relationships. they make him vulnerable and they come with stakes and things to lose. so swag always kept his relationships fair-weathered and shallow. (aside from just not knowing how to be genuinely real and vulnerable with people in a way that COULD cultivate a close relationship) he sure did say and shallowly BELIEVED they were deeper than what they were, but deep down...he had an idea that were push come to shove...he wouldnt mourn anyone as much as your normal guy would mourn his true friends and he felt that it was mutual.

so as much as he ran away from it, swag felt very alone. swag always has issues with loneliness and that's why he throws himself from person to person and has to be the loudest and brightest and funniest in the room. and hey even if you hate what youre hearing and seeing, he's still got your attention. and that can be good enough when it comes down to it. (end of word of god/confirmed canon swag stuff)

but yeah i think that...not that rocky or one were yes-men or anything, but i mean they kinda just worked with his antics and like okay yeah here we go, swag stuff again yay(or nay) but entre always was fighting it. he didnt just accept swag entirely for this way or that, he was always critiquing, always challenging, always prodding back as strongly as swag prodded him. and i think that change of pace is what kept swag coming back over and over beyond the other stuff i said earlier

and like...as the guy at the center of it all, i think even swag said it himself at some point, if anyone knew how to get them back out of this mess it was him. and as swag said: he saw entre as a way better leader than him. even if it personally irked and annoyed him, himself when it happened to him. entre clearly had figured out his stuff and what he'd say had merit (just not with swag who always knew better for himself)

so if entre saw swag as the better leader for his charisma and weird optimism, then swag saw entre as the better one for his pragmatism and his knack for staying rational most of the time. i think that's also why entre's slip in lucidity bothered swag a whole lot because...if entre couldn't be the rational one, they were screwed. he'd gotten used to entre being a kinda...logical pillar to bounce off of, so if he was losing his touch with reality, that was going to doom the lot of them (even him). it's also with (word of god) swag's deep deep fear of abandonment so...if entre abandons his own senses, he's abandoning Swag and that Cannot Happen

this is a whole lot but its really hard for me to explain the why FULLY without dragging out all the nuances and complexities to their relationship because THAT'S WHY!!! it's SOOO complex and there's so many layers and nuances to everything that had to keep working in a certain way to go in a positive direction or else it all fell apart, as we saw, over and over

they both have so many issues that hold them back in ways and then theyre both so damn stubborn that it ended up making them even getting along as FRIENDS a damn slow-burn (and i am, always, a sucker for a slow-burn. one of my main weaknesses in a ship)

you can see they both end up wanting that, even if neither of them would admit it. but they both, as businessmen, saw their cooperation as fruitful for the success of themselves and the camp. it was just all this other baggage going on making it hard

so then we get the hospital. where rocky gets his harsh taste of the reality of their situation and he gets HIS humble pie of his own mortality, pushing him away from swag who remains reckless. and then entre, feeling ostracized from literally everyone and even having a hard conversation with 72 in the elevator, when it all comes down to it, and they seem doomed. he lets himself be weak and falls a bit into swag. and this is where it changes a lot of things for entre. this moment of weakness he was pushed into by fearing it was this or never.

because obviously they get saved and then it's swag losing his foot or getting left behind for zombie-chow and OBVIOUSLY the latter isnt an option so...entre makes that call and then cant go through with it because swag's fear is shaking him to his core in a way he never thought would happen. like he let himself get weak and it's immediately striking him in a soft spot that changes him for the rest of the story

i think it's here where he gets that kinda "oh..." deep deep down. that wow. yeah. swag is much more significant to him than previously believed. that leads into the hardware store where slowly and surely, swag becomes his precious possession. swag's the only one that believes in him. swag's the only one that understands him. swag's the only one he wants to be around. nobody can touch or harm swag but him. swag is his responsibility. swag is his, his, his.

and this is very very poisoned by entre's deteriorating state of mind and emotional health. the man is a long-coming disaster finally starting to collapse on himself. and the centerpin of it all is keeping swag safe and to himself because swag's the only good he sees right now in this hell of a world. swag's words become law in his mind. if swag says he has to be more of a leader, more assertive, he'll take that and run marathons with it. anything to make swag proud of him

because that's another thing is entre has just...always chased someone being proud of him or happy with him. or that he was doing good or whatever. a common onceler problem with the way that Once-ler Mama just Is but yes...it's always been a big deal for entre. he's terrified of failure. and he's terrified of disappointing people who mean something to him. so he'll do whatever it takes to make swag proud and it's not like the rest of thee camp know better than Him what's the Greater Good for them, of course. he's the leader. he's the one who created all this. this is his world and he knows everything about it better than anyone.

meanwhile swag's too fucked up on having his wings finally clipped after leaving off the high of true and total freedom for so long. that he has to stew with no escapism and let the reality of his life as it is now sink in. old ghosts start to catch up to him and new horrors start to sink in. that and the pain meds of course, but through it all, he's still operating on that trust he's placed in entre. entre's a weirdo, but he always takes care of him and spoils him as much as he can. and it makes swag not wanna question, not that he has a leg to stand on (ha) currently anyways when it comes to that. he doesnt know anything going on outside his door. and to be honest, i think that's the part of this shitty situation that he likes. he's clearly tired and been tired of feeling responsible for other people, but he also cant help himself because of his deep need to try and keep as many people in his life as possible because that means the ones that leave have a lot more replacements

but yeah obviously when he gets out and suddenly everyone is his responsibility again and it's up to him to be the hero (in his perspective) he puts entre in his place in the only way he knows how, but at this point...he's reached an understanding of entre and entre HAS become more significant to him than just a business partner. and he's starting to act on the parts of entre he can see in himself and so despite entre fucking up (yet again) he sees it as entre just trying to do what he was guided to in the best way he could manage and swag has little issue just being like ok you fucked up but who cares about that anymore

he has a better understanding on how entre thinks and what he wants (not a great one but a better one) and i think he knows that to endlessly punish entre and leave him alone would just make him way worse and so he decides to stick with him himself (i also think this is also swag's abandonment issues)

i don't think has very recognizable romantic feelings for entre at this point, but entre very much does for swag. so this keeps entre on his feet as much as it can despite the whole spectacle of it being something that'd drive him, any other time, to a long walk off a short pier. but it had to be a spectacle for swag because he had to show to everyone that hey hes here and hes the one fixing things! youre welcome!

but it's still a harrowing experience that strip entre down to the bone and he might be at his lowest he's been since bitter. maybe even lower, but then the prisma event happens and, if entre's event stripped entre to the bone, swag's stripped swag to the marrow

and if there's one thing about entre, it's fixing problems that aren't his own is one of the best ways to keep him moving. even if to anyone else, what swag's been doing this entire time for entre is the Absolute Bare Minimum, in entre's persective, with what he knows and observes from swag, it's worlds and worlds. so when the tables turn, entre feels like it's his turn to give back. and maybe the tables didnt entirely turn on their own, but entre pushed them to. he spun it.

swag was already knocked down a peg by losing his foot, but losing his emotional stability, his comfort, his optimism in this hopeless world. being abandoned by someone that was more dear to him than the others. that slammed him rockbottom. he stopped caring about if people liked him or not because why bother? they're all going to die or leave anyways. i think he knew sooner than we think that rocky was infected, and one was always him being purposefully obtuse. he knew what his fate was. everyone was going to leave him now. and he refused to care about it anymore

shoving everyone away and hermitting in himself. the same careful practices he berated and mocked entre for are things he'd come up with on his own. he was there to be useful now in a direct way. with practical ideas, survivalism, and physical labor. if there was no more joy or optimism, whatever. they were alive. and his joy didn't get to smile anymore so no one deserved to

i think it was the one-two combo of prisma and rocky that really did swag in because, even if i said he doesnt get Actually close to people, he still considered them his. like those are his people and he's going to lose them all. they're all going to leave him behind on this earth that he's been knew for a while fucking sucked shit, but as long as he got to have fun it hadn't mattered, but now he can't

and entre kinda...accidentally did the best thing he could've for swag at this time. he also felt alone, discarded, from the queen piece on the board to a pawn. and so he clung to the only thing he'd found reliability in over and over for better or worse: swag

in general, in this arc, i was working on him taking this giant blow to his ego as a humbling moment to have him kinda try to make amends and create meaningful relationships (or repair the existing ones) with the others in the camp, but being that he thought none of them wanted anything to do with him, his main focus was always swag. swag was the only one besides dave that he thought without a doubt, wanted him around in some capacity beyond being useful

and it's not that entre is a stranger to only being seen for his usefulness, so he bared down into that otherwise, but having tasted the high life...that's why he stuck to swag. he was back to eating those crumbs like addictive delicacies and they tasted even sweeter this time. they end up becoming very, very codependent on each other. they were before a bit too but here, especially so,

but with entre's tanked self-esteem (and it was already pretty bad before) and his sense of duty and taking responsibility, he takes to his role like a duck to water. but it's kinda...funny bc they both become both roles in a codependent relationship??? so it's like...codependency in its most truest realized form lmao

it's starts especially one way but then entre gets sick and it flips the other way, but entre's still trying to maintain the original set-up. this is also where their relationship becomes physical. from affections kept away from others' eyes, to deeper kinds of intimacy. i think with all that they've lost and are doomed to lose, they find their old coping mechanisms (which were never healthy or actually worked either tbqh lmao) just weren't cutting it anymore so then they turned to other things

with like...needing a more direct and physical and raw way to show each other they're still alive, still here, still significant to each other. swag initiates it more, i think, because while they're both on the asexual spectrum. swag's is demi. so this goes to show just how emotionally important entre's become to him, but also i think it's because of yknow...how he was raised. and for him it's more comfortable to do bedroom stuff with entre than kiss him or rub his shoulders. that stuff's "for girls" (too emotionally vulnerable)

and swag starts to show his care as more of...like a direct invasive thing. where he's not going to let entre abandon him too. he's going to somehow make him better and keep him here as long as he can. and entre's taken to rolling over for nearly everyone because he doesnt feel like he's allowed to stand up for himself and this includes swag because it's clear he's doing it because he cares so it's fine right?

and that's kinda where everyone's idea of them leaves off because we never got to go past that. so i get where people, especially those who aren't a fan of toxicity in their ships, would be confused why people like swagtre so much and even for me, as much as i love a good conflict in my ships, i think if this is all it was, i wouldn't be quite as obsessed as i am. because i'll be honest!! it made me sad quite a lot LMAO but i always did it for the bit (story) above all else. because while i wanted entre to say the magic words or do the magic thing or have the magic realization that would fix it all, that's not a good story

but it really is for the later story that i've gotten so caught up. even before we confirmed the Continued story i was always caught up and daydreaming of where this could go

and i just really really love the growth they've had with each other and how many like...jumps in their characters and stuff they've made with and because of each other. entre would not be who he is today in any iteration without some of the realizations i've made through swagtre and same with swag i know with good authority

and it's just like...it takes so long to get even where we ended it. and they have all these weird labyrinthine bullshit things to work through and against and with to get anywhere. and it goes back and forth. forward and two steps backwards so much. but it's just very interesting to study and even reread or reminisce on. and even think about ways it coulda gone differently idk...i just like ships that give me multiple multiple things to chew on and think about. i like to have a full course meal. no shade to people who like other stuff but yea..that's what i personally enjoy. the more complicated, the more difficulty and personal baggage and issues they have to work through to make it work, the better

and i can't say too much on where it's confirmed to go, because that's yet to be seen (smile emoji) but yes...it gets better and idfk i just eat up to people becoming super significant to each other in an apocalypse especially if they started off hating each other?? damn

and it's addictive seeing swag start to come more and more out of his shell. i say his moments of being genuine, vulnerable, real, and raw and caring were addictive crumbs for entre BUT BITCH ME TOO TF!!!

it drives me NUTS (SLASH HUGE POSITIVE!!!!) i love being a driving force to get to see aspects of a character we wouldnt see otherwise. knowing i had a hand in swag learning things about himself and revealing things about himself he would never in other situations...yum...that's the good shit

but yes so concludes my novel on why i like swagtre including i guess an impromptu summary of their relationship

if you made it all the way to the end god damn man...love ya

[kiwwia-wiwwia]

God Must Hate Me

A call to your mother goes horribly wrong. Luckily, Matt is there to help you pick up some of your broken pieces.

Listened to God Must Hate Me by Catie Turner and decided to project into my writing!

Matt murdock x reader, hurt/comfort, bisexual!reader Word count: 1.8k Warnings: swearing, religious trauma lol, self-loathing, implied CSA EDIT: I know Catholicism is a part of Christianity!!! This is just based on my parents and how they talked about other denominations :)

Your shoulders shook as you slid down the wall, silent sobs wracking your body. One hand was clutching your phone, the other clapped over your mouth, desperate to contain any noise that might slip out. Sinner, your mother had called you. Hedonist. Sodomite. Her words looped over and over in your mind, drowning out all other thoughts. 

You wouldn’t have called in the first place had it not been for your sister. She texted you the night before saying that she was back home caring for your elderly father who had caught the flu. She said that your mother wouldn’t stop talking about you, complaining that you never called, that she didn’t know anything about your life. You spent that night tossing and turning, contemplating whether it was worth getting back in contact with her. Your relationship with your mother had always been strained, considering the abuse you endured in your childhood, but you didn’t hate her. You couldn’t. You felt a sense of guilt in pushing her away, as if you were abandoning a debt you owed.

What pushed you over the edge was a text from your father this morning. 

Hi pumpkin. I miss your smile. I’m a little under the weather, and I’d love a visit from my girl. Hope all is well. Love, Dad.

Despite everything your mother had put both of you through, you and your father were always close. You had talked to Matt, sharing your dilemma. On one hand, you didn’t really want to speak to your mother. On the other hand, your father was getting old, and you didn’t know how many more visits you had with him. He had always been delicate, getting sick easily and hurting himself by accident. He was also the only person besides your sister who truly understood you until Matt, and you missed him.

“Give them a call,” Matt suggested. He looked so beautiful, his hair catching the sunlight from the window and his body draped over the armchair. His hand lazily grasped a mug, steam drifting up from the warm coffee. “If the call goes well, go over and visit. I’ll come with you, if you want.”

You chewed on your lip anxiously. “And… if it doesn’t go well?” Your fingers picked idly at the rug below you. You were seated on the floor, resting your head against his leg as you sipped your tea. This was your unofficial weekend tradition, the two of you seated in this position while you talked about… well, whatever you needed to talk about. Anything that didn’t get brought up during the week, a dream one of you had, a funny story you had from work. Mornings like this were sacred, the peace and domesticity somehow washing away any other worries. In these moments, nothing else existed except you and Matt, your own little corner of heaven.

He ran his hand through your hair, slowly and deliberately raking his fingers over your scalp until you sighed in contentment. “Then I’ll be here for that, too,” he hummed.

Now, you found yourself wishing you had never said anything in the first place. All you wanted was to talk to your parents, check up on them, maybe even test the waters of a possible visit. Instead, you were berated for your lifestyle, called a whore and a sinner and told you were destined for hell. 

“And how’s your love life? Have you finally found a nice man or are you still in your lesbian phase?” You bristled at the comment, knowing your mother never took your sexuality seriously. Your coming out had been a disaster and had resulted in you staying with a friend for two months because your mother couldn’t stand the sight of you. “I’m bisexual, mom, that’s not a phase. But… yeah, I met someone,” you admitted. Your mother scoffed on the other end of the line, which you pointedly chose to ignore. “His name is Matthew, he’s a lawyer here in Hell’s Kitchen.”

“Such an awful name for a city. Why do they call it that, anyways? It couldn’t have been heaven’s kitchen?” You kept quiet, doing your best to push off the inevitable argument as your mother plowed on. “It’s good that you’ve come to your senses and met a boy. Where does he work? Is he Christian? Does he want kids?”

You rolled your eyes, trying to keep the irritation out of your voice. “He runs his own firm, Nelson and Murdock, he’s actually over there right now to grab some paperwork. I don’t know if he wants kids, we haven’t really thought about it. I only just moved in with him, and no, he’s not Christian. He’s Catholic, goes to mass every week.” There was a long silence before your mother finally spoke again.

“You… you moved in? As in… you live together?” Her tone was as if you had just told her that you shoved someone off of a building. “Yeah, I was staying over so much that we figured it wasn’t worth spending money on an apartment I don’t live in.” You arched a brow at her sharp intake of breath. “Mom? You okay?”

“Honey,” she said, her words dripping with venom. “Are you having sex with this man? Before marriage?” You couldn’t help the choked laugh that escaped your throat. “Mom, it’s not the 1800’s anymore. People have sex and move in with each other, it isn’t a crazy concept. My sex life isn’t really any of your business, though.” She made a sound of indignation, her voice an octave higher than when she last spoke. “That is no way to talk to your mother! I can’t believe you would be such a sinner, after everything I worked so hard to teach you. This behavior is disgusting, you know that? Only whores engage in such hedonistic acts.”

You stiffened at her words, years of religious teachings and long hours spent in churches creeping into your mind. Memories of wooden switches and Sunday School songs wrapped their tendrils around your throat, threatening to choke you until you had to plead with God for mercy. You took a gulp of air, trying desperately to keep your voice steady as tears pricked your eyes. “Mom, I’m not going to let you make me feel bad for the way I live my life, especially regarding something as small as who I’m spending my nights with. I just called to see how you and dad are doing, but if you don’t want to talk to me, that’s fine. I have other things to do anyway.” Her voice pierced through your phone’s speaker before you could hang up, your name spat from her lips like it was something profane. “All I ever did was try to raise a nice Christian girl, and this is what I get in return? A slut that sleeps with women and men before she’s even married? A sodomite? And he’s Catholic! You know catholicism isn’t biblical, how many times have I told you to stay away from non-Christians?” Tears were streaming down your face at this point, recollection of the confession of your treatment at the hands of the local pastor resulting in beatings. For some reason, you could only form a response to the last part of her rant. “After all of that, catholicism doesn’t seem as bad,” you said dryly.

“If we weren’t on the phone I’d smack you across the face for that. Don’t bother calling again. I’m not interested in hearing the lifestyle of a hellbound heathen.” The call ended with a dull beep, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You distantly registered the sound of the door opening, footsteps coming down the hallway and making their way to where you were outside of the bedroom. Matt knelt in front of you, his unseeing eyes wide with concern. Your name fell from his lips as he cupped your face in his hand, lightly tracing his thumb along your cheek. “What happened? Was it your mom?” All you could do was nod as another sob escaped you. Desperate for some kind of comfort, you reached out your arms in a silent request. He complied without hesitation, drawing you into his chest and letting out a sad hum as you gripped his shirt, clinging to any semblance of stability.

“What do you need, love?” he asked softly, his fingers gently running up and down your spine. “Do you want to talk about it?” You instinctively shook your head and then paused, reconsidering. “I don’t… I don’t know why she still affects me the way she does,” you croaked. “It’s like every time we talk, I’m a scared little kid again.” Your voice dropped to a whisper, shame making your words thick. “She called me a whore, Matt. Called me a heathen for moving in with you, said I was going to hell. There was more, some sexuality stuff and Catholic-shaming you, but that was the main point.”

Matt went rigid, his fingers abruptly stopping their soothing motions on your back. When he spoke, his voice was dangerously low. “She’s wrong, love. You know those are just lies, right?” You shrugged helplessly, keeping your eyes trained on the ground as you shifted your position, opening up the space between the two of you. “I’m not religious. Not anymore, not after everything I went through in the church.” You sighed tiredly, scrubbing your hand down your face. “But being raised the way I was… it sticks, y’know? That belief system is a part of who I am, whether I want it to be or not, and I can’t help but think… what if she’s right? I mean, I’m not exactly a saint. Usually I’m pretty good at rationalizing all this stuff, but man, God must hate me. I’m such a bad person, Matt.”

He physically flinched at that. “Don’t ever call yourself that,” he seethed. You jerked your head up to look at him, his anger taking you by surprise. His words were sharp, his tone dripping barely-concealed anger. “You are not a bad person for living your life.” You made a noise of protest but he quickly cut you off. “I don’t know what they drilled into your head to make you hate yourself so much, but none of it is true. You’re the most wonderful, kind, selfless person I’ve ever met, and God help anyone who makes you think anything different.” He pressed a kiss into your forehead and you managed a small smile. “I love you. So much,” he breathed.

“I love you too. Thanks for trying to undo my religious trauma even though you have enough of it for all of Hell’s Kitchen. Sorry for crying on your shirt.” He chuckled at that, helping you to your feet. “Nothing to apologize for, love. Now, let’s go to the store. We need to buy some eggs.”

You arched a brow. “We have eggs in the fridge. What are you up to, Murdock?” He smiled, a mischievous glint in his eye. “We have a house to egg, of course. Don’t tell me you’re above petty revenge?” 

You laughed, the tension in your body draining. God, you loved this man. “Of course not. I’m a good heathen, after all.”

[jonjaydami]

Another headcanon but it's if our boys get sick and how they take care of each other.

-when Jay gets he tries to hide it as long as possible. He can manage maybe a couple of hours with shrugging it off and pretending he's just down before Damian and Jonathan corner him about it (Damian had been suspecting he was sick but tried to give Jay time to come to them. Jonathan could almost smell the fact he had a virus but at first thought it wasn't enough to know which one of his boyfriends had it and kept misplacing the smell). They both drop everything to take care of him and as much as he's mad about it he let's them. Especially since Damian is about ready to tie him down. He secretly also enjoys the attention. Damian reading to him and Jonathan bringing him soup.

-when Jonathan gets sick both Jay and Damian over react. He probably just got a space flu but since they are so used to him being invulnerable (I mean he is still half human so he could maybe be susceptible to some flu's or colds). They at first act like he's dying. Taking him to the bat cave and constantly trying to check in on him and even putting sun lamps over him. Of course the sun lamps help but his immune system is what really is what's fighting the virus. Alfred eventually tells them to leave the poor boy alone and to let him rest and his dad and mom come to visit. They al have a small family evening leaving the cave and spending it upstairs. But Damian brings up another lamp before they all settle in and let it pass over.

-When Damian gets sick he also tries to hide it but he can manage to do it longer then what Jay can. Eventually when they find out they berate him for doing that. Even though Jay mainly pouts because he knows he can't say much. They call up Grayson and Alfred and they bring over supplies and they visit, wishing Damian well and bringing his favorite plant based meals with lots of protein before they depart and his boyfriends definitely don't use him as an excuse not to go on patrol or go to work as they curl around him. Though Damian knows he can take care of his trophy husband's just fine he's glad they will drop anything to be by his side. He has the hardest time still being vulnerable and they still give him his space while taking care of him. Jay and Jonathan take turns cleaning around the house and heating up the meals Alfred brought over. Before they know it Damian is back to himself and pushing them off of him to get a shower.

Also if your wondering how Damian probably hide it for so long I think Bruce developed sprays and acts to put on so superman didn't find out her was sick so Damian just stole a bunch of that to make sure Jonathan couldn't smell it on him. Jay tries to take it but Damian always knows and corners him about it first. :)

[littlegodzilla]

Well after a few days, we have here the next chapter!

Hope you'll like it!!

************************

Our Story.

Daryl Dixon x Wife / Daryl Dixon x Reader.

Part 15.

Masterlist.

Warnings: Slow Burn. Fluff. Sickness. Little Angst.

Words: 3000

Summary: Daryl needs to find a cure. He can't lose you.

*********************

Chapter 15. Flu.

If things aren't going well in D block, things are starting to get out of control in C. Two murdered bodies have been found, dragged out of the cells and burned. Tyreese can't believe something like that could have happened, they don't murder innocent people there. Karen tries to calm him down, to make him understand that they might have been infected and that someone had decided to stop the spread. Rick also wants to dissuade him, but he charges at him and Daryl like a rampaging bull.

"Ty, stop it!" The woman yells at him. "There's no time for this! Our people are suffering!" She scolds him. "I'm going with Daryl to get the medicines we need. You do whatever you want." She berates him and then walks out, leaving the three men alone.

It hurts Karen to see him like this and she understands that he is scared, but this world is like that now, everyone have to be prepared for everything and if they have to kill or give rest to some comrade, it's better that than seeing them become one of those things. 

"We have to get moving Rick, we can't wait any longer." Daryl says looking at his partner. "I'll ask Caleb for the list and leave with four more." He assures him, he nods.

"Well, I'll... I'll stay here and keep an eye on the others."

"Be careful."

"You too." He slaps him on the back and they leave, taking Tyreese with him.

*******************

"It's just fatigue." Caleb says to a woman who has gone to the infirmary that morning. "We're doubling shifts and the fatigue is taking its toll on all of us. Drink some water and try to rest, you'll see how the headache goes away, otherwise come back and see me." He asks her, the woman nods and leaves.

You are cleaning the utensils on the other side, you feel a little hot and your hands are shaking, but you are so nervous about everything that is happening, that your symptoms are a product of your own anxiety.

"I'm going to get something to eat and water, do you want anything?"

"Yes, thank you." You reply in a whisper.

"Are you okay?" he looks at you worriedly.

"Yeah, it's nothing, too much work." You try to calm him down, smile warmly at him.

"You're not well." He moves closer to you. "Look at me."

"No..." You whisper, but Caleb grabs your chin and sees that your eyes are watery and slightly yellowed.

"You're infected."

"No, I'm just tired, I'm just..."

But you can't finish the sentence, you collapse and fall on top of him, Caleb holds you firmly touching your forehead, you're burning up, even sweating copiously, he curses himself for not noticing sooner and grabs you in his arms, he has to get you out of there before you infect someone else. Caleb pulls you out of the infirmary, you come to your senses a little wanting him to let go, but you lean against him because you feel like you can't handle the weight of your body. As you enter the cell area, the rest of the group is there.

"What?" Daryl makes an attempt to approach you, but you raise your hand.

"No, stay away..."

"We're going to D block."

"No, no, no..." He denies repeatedly, Daryl.

"She's with the first symptoms, we can still control it, but we've been exposed, so it'll be better if we're both in the ward."

"I'll take her." He walks back towards you.

"Daryl, no, you could catch it, I could..." He tries to talk some sense into him, Caleb, but Daryl pushes him away and gently takes you in his arms.

"Daryl, don't..." You don't even have the strength to stop him, you lean against his chest as you hear him growl again.

"Take me to the ward, I'll hold her." He says carrying you in his arms.

"If you go in there you won't be able to get out."

"Nah, I'll go back out, I'll go get the meds."

"Daryl, we can't risk..."

"I said I'll go!" He barks and you're even scared, but you don't have the strength to open your eyes. "Ain't gonna waste my time talkin' to ya. Let's go all the way to the pavilion."

Daryl walks in with you in his arms all the way to Block D, there are a lot of people there settled already, some have really advanced symptoms, others are just starting to get sick, Caleb was taking care of them from a distance, but now that he has been exposed to you, he has to stay in there too. You discover that Hershel is also inside, trying to alleviate the symptoms with a natural infusion, it seems to help, but it is not definitive. Daryl gently sets you down in one of the cells, on one of the beds you brought from Woodbury. He kneels down next to you and brushes a few strands of hair away from your forehead, sweat starting to reflect on your skin from your fever.

"Don't we have anything to calm her condition a bit?" He asks Caleb and he denies.

"We've run out of resources, only what Hershel is giving them..." He hones in and Daryl snorts.

"I'll go up to that faculty, I'll pull everything I can find, I just need the names."

"She gave you a list, that's all I need."

"Fine..."

"Daryl, you can't go out... it's quite possible that you too..."

"I'm goin' out, and I'll kill anyone who wants to stop me." he assures him, a completely dark, dangerous edge shining in his gaze. Caleb instinctively backs away and steps out of the cell. Daryl looks back at you and strokes your cheek. "I'm gonna get that medicine... I promise I'll be back, this time without lies." He speaks in whispers. "Ya gotta hold on... ya have to wait for me, 'kay?" he chews his lip several times and sighs. "I came back for ya...'cause this is where I belong...hold on...don't..." He swallows trying to calm himself. "Don't go where I can't follow you..." He asks you and bows, he knows it might be dangerous and stupid, but he doesn't care, he kisses your forehead and gets up walking out of there, closing the cell door.

*****************

Daryl gathers a small team of four; Michonne, Bob, Karen and Tyreese. The latter is still a little affected by what happened to your companions, he still wants to find who killed and burned those people, but he understands that it is more important to save the people who are getting sick, otherwise there will be more dead and life in prison will be unsustainable. Karen accompanies him to give him moral support, so that he doesn't fall again, in a way she has become his lifeline, which keeps him sane in that shitty world.

They fill the car with their backpacks, some supplies and weapons, the archer is especially silent, his brow furrowed tightly, his jaw tense and his fists clenched. His mind works at a thousand per hour plotting the most effective and quickest plan, he can't waste any more time, every second that passes you are agonizing in that place. Not only you, all your people.

"Come on." Michonne says to him pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Is everything ready?"

"Yes, let's not waste any more time."

He nods, they all set off, Rick approaches wanting to say something to him, but the archer dodges him, getting straight into the car, the doors open and he accelerates getting on the road.

The route is not complicated, they have done it on more than one occasion, it should be clean, but they find traces of someone who tried to flee through there and things did not go well, attracting a good amount of Walkers with them. The car is surrounded, they need to find another way out. Daryl and Michonne quickly get out of the vehicle making their way out, the rest follow them, getting rid of the pursuers, covering each other's backs. There are too many of them but they manage to get rid of them in the woods, being able to ambush them, minimizing their noise to throw them off. They move on automatic, looking for another solution, some vehicle that could be of use to them.

"How are you?" Michonne asks Daryl in a whisper, he just grunts low as he keeps walking. "Daryl..."

"Gotta keep going." Is all he says, quickening his pace.

Not far away they find a small garage where there is a car covered by the leafy branches of a vine that tries to hide it from the eyes of curious onlookers. It doesn't seem to be in bad shape, they could take it to get to the college that Hershel had told them about. 

"Let's search in several groups." Daryl says when they finally reach the building. "The main thing is what's on these lists." He hands several of them to his classmates. "But take everything you see useful that can fit in the backpacks."

Everyone knows what they should do, Daryl feels his heart pounding in his ears, something tightens in his stomach every time he remembers your state in that cell, so weak, so small. He has never seen you like this. He needs to stop for a moment, his hands are shaking, his nervousness is getting the better of him.

"We're going to get to save them." He hears Bob's voice next to him. "They're in good hands and we're going to get reinforcements to them."

"You think so?" He looks at Bob pursing his lips. "Because it doesn't look like it."

"I know you're worried about your girl, but we're already here, we just need to get everything and get back."

His girl. 

Something feels strange in his stomach, he stares at the man he has in front of him, he chews his lip so hard he's afraid he'll split it. Bob seems to be waiting for a response, there's a smile meant to relax him plastered on his face, but Daryl doesn't feel any calmer. Not at all.

"Let's keep looking." He growls walking away from the man who is amused by the way Daryl dodges conversation.

His girl.

************************

The continuous coughing around you makes you wake up little by little. Something cold and wet brushes against your forehead. When you finally manage to open your eyes, you discover that Sasha is beside you, wiping your sweat with a damp cloth.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" you whisper in a weak voice.

"Looks the same to me as you." You smile, she doesn't look good either, but she's more lucid than other companions. "Here, Hershel told me to have this."

"What's Hershel doing here?"

"That's a good question, that old man is stubborn and tough as fuck." She jokes.

You feel the laughter clawing at your throat, it deflates your lungs and you cough loudly leaving a burning sensation in your chest. Sasha looks at you with an amused smile and rubs your back gently, handing you the tea.

"That man is going to outlive us all." You say confidently and she nods. "Where's Daryl?"

"He's out, With Michonne and Tyreese." She explains. "Hershel told them there was a vet school nearby and they've gone to get meds."

"Right... but he came in here with me..."

"He hasn't let anyone stop him." She gives you an intense look and then nudges you a little.

"I came back for you."

"Don't go where I can't follow you."

You feel goosebumps rise on your skin. Those words coming back into your head, Daryl's raspy voice rattling your brain. You were half asleep when the archer said that to you, surely he thought you were unconscious and took advantage of that moment of intimacy. Your cheeks redden and your friend keeps watching you. Since they arrived at the prison you've always felt comfortable with her, not only her, you consider Michonne, Carol and Maggie good friends too, but now Sasha is there and you can't run away from her gaze.

"Daryl just cares about all of us."

"Yes, that's true, but it's different with you. He almost hit Caleb because he wouldn't let him near you."

A soft chuckle escapes you, lowering your gaze. That sounds like Daryl, but you're sure he'd do it for any of you there, you're not special, maybe you know each other better and he has more familiarity with you, but he's taken care of and brought a lot of those people there, so they're important to him too.

"Why is it so hard for you guys to accept that?" Sasha's question confuses you.

"Accept what?"

"That you have feelings for each other." She shrugs. "I understand that memories are always there, but... it's like we've all started from scratch."

"That's not what this is about, I've always loved Daryl, but not like that, I didn't..." Coughing stops you from continuing to speak, you cough violently and drink from the tea once more. Sasha also has a small coughing fit and Hershel walks over to your cell.

"You two had better get some rest."

"No, we're fine..." Sasha denies and the man sighs under his white beard.

"Okay, then help me with these people. They're worse off."

Even though you have the strength to talk and move, you still feel your bodies quite weak, you carefully walk out of your cell to help Hershel. Things have gotten much worse since last time. The symptoms are getting worse with speed, Carol is in charge of getting people in there, Rick, Carl and Sophia take care of those who are not sick, they keep the prison protected from the Walkers crowding the fence.

Caleb has locked himself in his own cell, too sick, not trusting that he can be of any use, Glenn is lying in another bed and....

Glenn?

You peek into his cell, he's pretty bad, he's struggling to breathe, but he's keeping himself alive, you're surprised to see him there, Maggie must be a complete nervous wreck. However, you have hope, if they've gone out to get more medication, you know they'll be back, they'll accomplish their mission, you just have to hold on. You touch Glenn's forehead to check his fever and wipe away the sweat with a damp cloth to try to give him some relief.

"Just hang in there a little longer." You tell him in a whisper.

**********************

Things have gotten complicated at the college, the infected have surrounded them, they have managed to escape and Daryl with the others have had to come up with a new plan to be able to get out of there unharmed. There are nerves and desperation, everyone wants things to go well, to return home, that no one else dies. But Daryl goes into a rage when Bob tries to retrieve his backpack and discovers that there is only a bottle of liquor in it. He clenches his teeth so hard he feels he can break them, he's tempted to smash the bottle into a thousand pieces, but Bob's gesture of wanting to hold his gun makes him even angrier. Daryl walks towards Bob threateningly and collides with him.

"You better hope our people survive on the medicines we've gotten... or I'll beat yer ass to the ground." He assures Bob with his voice in a growl and hands him back the backpack with the bottle. "Come on." He tells the others as they walk down the small porch in search of the car they've left parked not far from there.

He has to admit that it's the first time he's driven at that speed without being running from something or someone or because Merle is pushing him. But every minute that passes counts and he can't help thinking that the prison is too far away. That they're not going to make it.

"Daryl slow down a little, man." Tyreese asks him.

"There's no time."

"If we get killed on the way nothing will have helped!" Karen tries to make him understand.

"We all want them to recover Daryl, but we have to get there alive." Michonne insists and Daryl slowly slows down.

They are right, he knows they are, he can't do anything crazy, not now when they are so close to achieving their goal. If the car was in an accident because of them they wouldn't make it in time, all those people would die. You would die. And they would be blaming themselves for the rest of their lives.

Still at a high, but not deadly speed, Daryl dodges the dead and the impediments along the way, his gaze fixed straight ahead feeling his heart leap inside his chest as he begins to catch sight of the prison towers.

The gates open before they are even close, there is chaos, something has happened before they will return, one of the parts of the fence has fallen and there are dozens of Walkers lying on the ground, all have been riddled with bullets, but everything seems under control. In reality, Daryl doesn't see much further, he has a target, he can't just stand there. Not now.

"Daryl, wait, Daryl!" Rick tries to call out to him.

But he doesn't listen, he keeps running towards ward D. He's not the only one who has committed this madness, when he enters he discovers that Maggie is there trying to take care of Glenn who doesn't look good either, there are many companions who have been turned and are now lying on the floor, dead, others are struggling between life and death. Caleb has succumbed, Sasha is between consciousness and unconsciousness, but is safe.

"Hershel!" He shouts in search of the man who immediately appears to meet him.

"Help me administer the doses." He asks him as they rummage through the backpacks for everything they need.

"Where is she?"

"Stabilizing others who are worse off, she's weak, but she's strong." He assures, Daryl nods, feeling his hands shake as he opens one of the vials. "Here, go with her." Hershel says handing him the exact dose you need. "Have her take it and rest, the worst is over."

"Th-thanks." He gasps seeing the man smiles warmly and gets up running to find you.

He finds you several cells away, you were helping a woman breathe with an air pump, but you've fallen to the floor, completely exhausted. Daryl trusts Hershel's words, you're feeling weak, but you are strong, you still have things left to live for. He quickly enters the cell and holds you in his arms. His hands won't stop shaking, he needs a moment to take a deep breath and calm down, he can't help you if he's shaking like a flan. He swallows and leans your head back, putting the pills in your mouth.

"Come on, woman, help me, you have to take these." He asks giving you a few very gentle touches on your cheek. "Come on, don't make me do it by force..." It's a threat, but at the same time he feels goosebumps rise on his skin.

You frown slightly, lifting your head slightly as you try to swallow what's in your mouth, but your mouth and throat are dry and you struggle, Daryl reaches for his canteen pouring some water into your mouth.

"Slowly, slowly." He whispers without letting go of your hold.

"Daryl?" you whisper his name in a trickle.

"I'm here, girl, I'm back." He smiles seeing you, still tired, fall asleep in his arms again.

**********

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To be continued...

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Hope you liked it!!

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Taglist: @green-eyedladywrites @minervadashwood @livingdeadblondequeen @bringinsexybackk69 @phoenixblack89

[ceritasiolaa]

Kehamilan Pertama, bismillah..

Alhamdulillah di tahun ini aku tengah mengandung anak pertamaku. Aku belum pernah mempublikasikan di sosial media atau memberitahu orang-orang banyak mengenai kehamilanku ini, cukup orang terdekat dan beberapa orang yang langsung bertanya kepadaku saja yang tahu. Memang aku berusaha untuk meminimalisir update di sosial media, dan mungkin juga sudah menjadi prinsipku membatasi mana yang harus di publish atau pun tidak.

Kali ini, kali pertama aku menuliskan cerita kehamilanku yang sudah berjalan trimester II, Alhamdulillah.

Apakah aku sudah menyiapkan program hamil dari sebelumnya?

Jawabannya belum.

Bahkan aku dan suami memiliki perencanaan untuk program hamil tahun depan, setelah aku merasa lebih siap dan kuliah ekstensiku kelar. Namun, qadarullah rezeki dari Allah siapa sangka, Allah karuniakan insyaAllah kami seorang anak di tahun ini.

Ketika mengetahui bahwa aku hamil, aku cukup terkejut dan bingung. Speechless dengan keadaan. Yang tadinya mau ngasih tahu suami secara langsung saat di rumah, tapi ekspektasi tak sesuai dengan realitanya. Pak suami keburu tahu duluan dari dokter, gagal untuk memberikan surprise jadinya.

Mual, muntah, pusing, sempat sakit demam, flu, batuk dan lainnya. Semua ini aku rasakan saat trimester I. Tidak selera makan juga mengakibatkan berat badanku turun sebanyak 4 kg. Melihat nasi aja aku sudah eneg, rasanya mual. Belum lagi mencium bau-bau masakan yang mengandung bawang atau masakan lainnya, rasanya langsung pusing dan mual juga. Indera penciuman ini semakin sensitif. Jadi jarang ke dapur juga, sehingga suami yang mengurus beberapa hal rumah tangga.

Anehnya ke kamar mandi aja bisa mual, kalau mau ke kamar mandi pak suami kudu nyiramin wipol dulu sebelum aku masuk. Jadi seluruh ruangan itu harus wangi, bersih, dan rapi. Sebegitunya, astaga.

Pak suami yang terus berusaha mencari solusi, bingung menghadapiku yang tidak mau makan. Karena ga bisa makan nasi, alhasil makananku adalah ubi, jagung, kentang sebagai sumber karbohidrat. Alhamdulillah juga, aku lebih suka makan buah-buahan. Rasanya segar dan nikmat di tenggorokan, jadi buah dan susu menjadi sumber energiku yang malas-malasan makan nasi ini. Apa mungkin karena aku juga tidak terlalu suka nasi ya? Sehingga saat hamil, aku sama sekali tidak mau makan nasi? Entahlah.

Alhamdulillah pelan-pelan nafsu makanku membaik, masuk trimester II aku sudah mulai bisa makan nasi, ke kamar mandi tanpa harus disiram wipol dulu, sudah bisa masak lagi di dapur, tapi kadang masih mual dengan aroma masakan, dan juga kendalanya sekarang adalah badanku sering terasa pegal-pegal. Kaya bawa beban berat di punggung, tidur pun rasanya sudah kurang nyaman.

MasyaAllah ya ternyata perjuangan menjadi seorang ibu.

Kalau aku mengeluh, Alhamdulillah suami selalu support, “InsyaAllah setiap lelahnya, pegal-pegalnya, tidak nyamannya tidur, mual, dan lainnya jadi pahala ya” ucapnya.

Pernah juga aku sampe mau nangis rasanya karena punggungku pegal sekali, dengan lucunya dia bilang, “Sayang, kalau perutnya bisa ditukar, ga apa-apa aku yang membawanya kalau kamu pegal. Jadi kita bisa bergantian.”

Jadi panjang ya tulisan ini, mungkin lain kali bisa lanjut part II cerita si ibu hamil yang satu ini.

Semoga ada hikmah yang bisa diambil dari tulisan ini ya, mohon do'anya juga teman-teman 😊

Ini USG calon aa (insyaAllah) saat 7 weeks.

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

Tw mentions of abuse

I want to discuss why I’m changing up Garte’s little backstory of being abusive a slight bit but I’m not incredibly eloquent. Please be patient and berate me on anon if you really feel like it.

Basically

Canonically it’s due to medical PTSD, but he’s also a villain for power-induced corruption. I don’t think they presented well enough these two things in conjunction, but we know that Garte is power hungry and has been long enough for Garroth to fear becoming like him and run away, and also for it to shape Zane’s personality into what it became.

This implies that Garte’s thirst for power then started when Zane was still very impressionable, at the very latest. And this does, of course, line up with Garte’s recovery from his illness. It’s likely that the canon reasoning for it is that after he recovered, he didn’t want to feel that same loss of control that terminal illness can cause, and as such became power-thirsty and corrupt to try and cope.

That said, one of the major aspects of my rewrite is the uh… the inherently corrupt nature of the lord system and all those that O’Khasis runs on. Garte, being someone who was raised on and benefits from, and contributes to these systems… would then be an inherently corrupt guy already. He would still be abusive, even if it isn’t directed at his family, or at least not in the way it was in canon. O’Khasis was formed under imperialism and the bloodline of those that enacted that imperialism… is still seated there, just under another title. He’s already a bad person, and no doubt his family would suffer for this.

I do believe, very thoroughly, that Garte was meant to kind of mirror Aerys Targ. We know Jess was a GOT fan, considering… Greywind.. but they both kind of have a similar backstory. They were both benevolent rulers, before a near death experience turned them evil and abusive, and now they need to be taken down. And I hate this. Not because ‘none of Jess’ characters are original’ or whatever people whine about. But I just don’t personally like how often this trope happens.

I don’t like abusers being given an excuse for the abuse they enact upon others. Especially in the case of Garte Ro’Meave who, through the wonders of modern medical science, is no longer abusive in MyS because he didn’t have that near death experience.

The ONE thing we knew about Garte was how negatively he impacted his kids, and they couldn’t even be consistent with it. Zane and Garroth’s dynamic is interesting because it’s two people who dealt with the same abuse and had to adapt different methods to survive, except only one of them was the ‘right’ way to survive, and they’re now being pit against eachother due to the morals they were taught by an abusive father and a mother who couldn’t do anything to stop him. But MyS just washed it away because… garte got his flu vaccination or something idk

Anyways, might talk about Zane later if I’m feeling silly.

Here’s a poll for anyone who read this far. Maybe it’s tone deaf but I’m genuinely just curious.

[localcanadiancreature62]

@aria-greenhoodie Enjoy. I hope you're glad from me subjecting you to your own handiwork of making me even more brainrotted about this show.

Father O'Pimm backstory: Father O'Pimm was born rich. His father Gordon O'Pimm is the wealthy owner of a successful jewelry company while his mother Barbara Mcnally is a prostitute whom his father paid to bang except oopsie she got pregers so now the fucked up priest is born. However Barbara didn't want anything to do with Tinsley as she wanted to sleep around as she pleased while not being tied to one person as keeping the child would mean she wouldn't have her fun anymore so she gave the child to Gordon as the man had to deal with a bastard child.

He legally changed the child's identity by changing his surname to be O'Pimm rather than Mcnally and changing his birth name Tinny to be Tinsley instead,further marking the boy as HIS child rather than that harlot woman's. Young O'Pimm was treated as a member of the higher class,despite constantly being abused by his father for being a failure of an heir by being too energetic and troublemaking,behavior unfit for a future heir to the O'Pimm Jewels company.

The abuse ranged from being smacked in the face,kicking him as he pitifully laid on the ground,making him sleep in the cold pouring rain despite having a luxury bedroom for him,and so on,and the worst part is that O'Pimm just wanted his father to love him. This abuse went on for the whole 10 years of O'Pimm's life until Gordon decided to sell him to some architect head in order to give the man another (slave) worker in exchange for 5 million dollars which is a pretty big deal to a medium wage architect. The architect head was a neglectful caretaker,as he never bothered to notice the boy's grave injuries from welding or metal work during construction,and he also raised the boy in poor conditions as he let the boy sleep in a small wooden hut with a floor mat as a bed and a cooler with frozen food as well as moldy soda for sustenance,a far cry from the luxurious life he used to lead.

O'Pimm was miserable as ever yet he worked hard and tried to be in the architect's good graces in order to prevent the man from making him live in even worse conditions,he was content for now. And it only got worse as he got older and eventually got fired at age 16 due to another worker breaking all of the construction equipment and then HE got blamed for it. This is an incredibly devastating event to the poor boy as that construction site was the only home he had left after his father abandoned him and now the architect rejects him too.

He then had to live on the streets as a young street rat while he stole and pickpocketed for a living,being miserable once more as he was all alone in the cold unforgiving world with no one to help him. O'Pimm then became sickly and weak over the years as his rich boy immune system isn't used to being exposed to so much dirt and bacteria which the american city streets have plenty of,the man catching various diseases such as the flu a cold a fever and diarrhea all at the same time at the ripe age of 19. He then began to lose hope of him surviving in such a harsh world without a penny to his name despite being a wealthy man's son,all while being weak and diseased to top it all off as he thought of running in front of a carriage to end everything.

But then he found a dirty Bible on the side of the road as he went over to try to get himself ran over,reading through the contents as His words comforted him in his time of need. Young O'Pimm deciding that this book will help him go through his troubles as he brought it with him everywhere,the book becoming his most valued possession. Two years later,O'Pimm lost his book and ended up finding another one in some desolate Church,where a high priest berated him for "touching the sacred text with his filthy vermin hands" but then the young boy explained that he NEEDED another book or else he wouldn't be able to survive without His words,the priest then realizes that this boy is not just some vermin peasant but in fact a devoted follower of the Lord so the man decided to turn the young O'Pimm into a deacon aka a trainee priest apprentice as he took the boy under his wing,giving him shelter in his room and going out for meals with him.

This relieved the poor 20 something year old's worries for a while as he continued to work under that priest's tutelage until he eventually grew and became an official priest himself. He even got married to a lovely florist lady named Dorothy Goodman after managing to charm her with his upright,faithful behavior after they dated for like five years. Young Tinsley O'Pimm is now known as Father Tinsley O'Pimm as he's now a 45 year old gentleman rather than a pathetic 16 year old street rat. Life was good for the good and holy man as he had a stable job a stable residence and a stable relationship. Until it wasn't. "William Lucipher" plagued O'Pimm for the first time,and it was to try to convince the man to make a deal with him by offering a way to exact revenge on his terrible father in exchange for suggesting that the old priest use his extensive knowledge on demons the occult spirituality and the like for something else other than singing praises to a long haired peace loving hippie (God) which is to create religiously tied codes for an extraordinary steel mechanism (the portal) with a bunch of other meatsack losers to gain the fame and recognition that his father denied him of the moment the man abandoned him.

O'Pimm refused,as he had it good with his life and he would like to keep it that way rather than chasing some crazy ambition for boundless success. This infuriated the triangle as this dumb religion clown passed up his offer in exchange for "happiness with his wife",disgusting. So like with all of his other "partners",Bill gave the man terrible nightmares in order to goad him into accepting his deal. He resisted every time as he knew he didn't really want what the demon tempted him with even with how promising it was,but with every resistance came even worse nightmares.

Which started to affect the poor priest's perfect life as he took up drinking in order to stave off the nightmares and get some sleep no matter if it's just a few hours due to blacking out,despite never being one to abuse substances before. The alcoholism made him snappier,and angrier,more tired,which lead to him randomly taking his anger about the nightmares or annoying heretics on his beloved wife as he started to get physical on her,slapping or punching Dorothy even when he was never a man of violence nor did he ever get angry enough to do such terrible things.

He started acting like this at work too,with him attempting to strangle heretics or noisy children that distract during sermons at random as if he was some maniac,the high priest knew he was going through a rough patch with his wife and actively fighting his alcohol problem so he let it slide while letting the man off with a forced hiatus from priest duties although he threatened to fire him if he came back from the hiatus and still acted this way. The fact that his life was falling apart just because of some demon meddling with it was driving O'Pimm insane,not to mention the sudden anger issues that were brought out due to the alcoholism somehow making the dormant anger from his youth return full force.

The nightmares got worse as the days went by,and the triangle then began to physically torture him too by possessing him when he's sleeping or possessing him and making him act crazy while trying to have a civil moment with his wife or using the candles at the Church to burn his spotless bald head. Dorothy wasn't having any of this,the abuse the sudden change in her sweet husband's behavior and said husband's dwindling insanity,so she filed for a divorce no matter how much O'Pimm pleaded for her to stay and let him explain everything. The high priest was getting impatient as well with the man STILL being violent and trying to kill people for no reason even after the hiatus,deeming such behaviors to be unfit for a man of God and he decided to demote him to a trainee priest,knowing that the man wouldn't be able to handle his usual more difficult duties when his mind is in such an unstable state.

O'Pimm was absolutely FURIOUS when all of this happened,he grieved his former picture perfect life that he built after years of suffering only for him to realize it was all ripped away by that damn triangle William Lucipher and his horrid nightmares as well as the torture it kept inflicting on him. He sought to exact revenge on the creature, despite knowing that embarking on an obsessive mission will soon make his sanity crumble even more and further alienate him from his loved ones but he didn't care.

All he knew,was that he needed to eradicate that demon immediately so that it won't ruin his life any further. And as if God Himself answered his prayer,a newsletter with the cutline saying "Kill the triangle in my brain. Reward: Opium" which is why he grabbed the article and discovered that it was about a fellow named Thurbert who had also gone through horrors at the hands of this beast with the man writing that he needed people to help get rid of William,so he took up the offer and went over to the address written at the end of the article,ending up at the man's door with three other fellows. This was only the beginning of his obsessive mission and it will only get worse over time..

[wetiartika]

Limfoma Maligna

Lima bulan yang lalu saya ditinggalkan Ayah. Biasanya memang kami berdua saling bergantian meninggalkan. Ayah meninggalkan saya ke kampung untuk melanjutkan merawat kopi, jagung dan sawahnya. sesekali saya meninggalkan Ayah, untuk merantau ke Palembang, Bandung dan di Jogja untuk merantau. Tetapi kali ini Ayah pergi, tetapi tidak kembali.. Sampai kemudian Februari, tepatnya tanggal 3. Seperti biasa saya menelepon Ayah dan suaranya serak terdengar seperti sudah terlalu lama flu. Katanya, Ayah sakit-sakit badannya. Sudah berobat tetapi tidak membaik. Saya memaksanya untuk berobat ke rumah sakit di kabupaten. Ayah menjalankannya, namun tidak mendapat pengobatan yang baik dari dokter yang memeriksanya. Lalu pulang lagi ke kampung dengan sakit yang belum diketahui. Seminggu kemudian, saat hari Jumat, seperti biasa saya menelepon kembali. Ayah hanya bisa dihubungi hari Jumat, karena ada sinyal jaringan dan pasti Ayah akan pulang dari kebun untuk shalat Jumat. Hari itu Ayah tidak berangkat shalat Jumat, katanya Ayah sakit. Mengaku kepada saya, ada benjolan di (maaf) selangkangannya. Saya terdiam cukup lama. Sebuah lampu kuning kemerah-merahan berkedip di kepala saya. Dengan menguatkan diri, saya memaksa Ayah untuk kembali ke rumah sakit di kabupaten. "Yah, maaf Ayah harus berangkat sendiri. Katakan kepada dokternya Ayah perlu USG, atau rontgent karena ada benjolan yang tumbuh cukup besar di selangkangan Ayah." kata saya. Laki-laki berusia 69 tahun tersebut mengamini permintaan saya. Syukurlah, ada anak tirinya yang mau menemani Ayah periksa. Saya dikirimi video amatir tentang proses pemeriksaan Ayah, termasuk rekaman saat dokter berkata, bahwa benjolan itu adalah kelenjar getah bening yang membengkak. Ayah diberikan obat. Ayah ingin pulang lagi ke rumahnya di kebun. Saya melarangnya.

Saat itu teringat bagaimana saya meluangkan waktu untuk membantu orang-orang di kampung saya yang datang ke rumah kami di kota kabupaten. Menemani mereka berobat di rumah sakit, membantu mereka mengurus rujukan jika diperlukan. Tetapi saat ini, Ayah saya yang sakit, dan saya tidak bisa menemani Ayah. Lampu merah terang menyala berkedip-kedip di kepala saya. Allah, mengapa Ayah mendapatkan penyakit yang seperti ini? Saya mengatakan kepada Ayah untuk pergi ke Baturaja. Ada rumah sakit yang saya pikir lebih layak dan setidaknya lebih baik dari dokter sebelumnya.

Ayah sudah mulai kesakitan. Keringatnya di malam hari sudah membuatnya sering berganti baju. Nafsu makannya menurun. Mulai batuk yang tidak henti, yang menyesakkan dadanya dan hati saya yang mendengar keluhan Ayah. Saya hanya melalui telepon, mengatakan kepada Ayah untuk harus tetap makan sekalipun telur rebus. "Ayah harus periksa, tidak usah memikirkan biayanya" Kata suami saya saat itu. Saya menyampaikan hal yang sama ke Ayah.

Allah melembutkan hati kakak ipar dan keponakan Saya untuk mendampingi dan menemani Ayah periksa ke dokter. Kata dokter, ayah harus segera di biopsi.

Adalah tindakan kecil yang dilakukan untuk mengambil sampel jaringan yang membentuk benjolan, untuk diperiksa kemudian, apakah benjolan itu adalah tumor lunak atau tumor ganas. "Allahku, yang Maha Menyembuhkan. Ayahku tidak pernah Engkau biarkan sakit lama dan tidak pernah Engkau biarkan sakit parah. Kumohon ya Allah, kali ini juga biarkan Ayah sembuh dari sakitnya.." bisikku di setiap shalat. Sementara berat badan Ayah semakin menyusut menyisakan sedikit daging dan tulang yang semakin kentara. Hasil biopsi kemudian menyatakan keraguan, tidak tahu apakah sakit Ayah adalah tumor lunak atau tumor ganas. Ayah di sela batuknya, saat pukul 14.30, sendirian di rumahnya, hanya ditemani anak bungsunya melalui video call. "Ayah pikir Ayah hanya sakit biasa, apakah Ayah bisa sembuh nantinya?" to be continue..

[carpe-aurore]

Some sibling affection

We don't actually talk about feelings. We grew up in a broken household. Don't let them see you crying or you'll get mocked, berated. You get called weak. Try to get a hug from your father figure and get the belt instead. That's in the past, though. And we're both grown ups now. A little bit broken, but older. We don't say "I love you". But every time I make myself breakfast, I always make an extra portion.

"Here's some eggs. There's orange juice in the fridge".

I buy some groceries and call him to ask if he wants anything. It's flu season, and I make sure to pick up some vitamin c supplements for him to take. I accidentally peek at his bank statement and the kid has $50 to his name. I send him $15 and tell him to go buy himself a snack.

I've bought some candy for myself. I tell him to hold out his hand so I can pour some into his palm. I buy a sweet bread roll and split it in half, then give him the larger piece. We don't say "I love you". We don't talk about sappy stuff.

I tear into the fresh baked bread I made, then hold a piece out for him to take. I think he understands what I say without words. "Baby brother, love is something you consume. So, here. Eat. Feast".

I gave him a bag of chips before I left for work this morning. He devoured them with all the appetite of a boy still in his teens. I get a text message from him in the evening. He says he bought me a bottle of sweet tea and he's left it for me in the fridge. I care for him and he cares for me. I think, sometimes, love lives in a snack divided into two portions.

[fe-fictions]

Knowing how worried Seteth can be, a story where Byleth is sick would be soooo cute 🥰

(He’s such a worried boy 😔)

When you woke that morning, you felt a little groggy. A bit out of sorts, which was different from usual, but you didn’t think too much about it. It’d been cold lately, seeing as the winter had been setting in more aggressively than usual.

It was easily dismissed in your mind, at least until Seteth shifted beside you. The old dragon’s arms came around you and he nestled his face into your hair.

“...Byleth?”

His voice sounded suddenly awake. You felt him sit up behind you, and you felt a hand on your forehead.

“Byleth, you’re burning up!”

“What?” You turned your head to look at him; immediately your vision blurred, and the room started to spin. “...Whoa.”

“Oh no- oh, gods, how did this happen? The Archbishop is ill!” He flew into hysterics almost immediately, making a break for the doors to call for a cleric (most likely Flayn).

You watched him rush off as best you could, though the image of him running out the door was a bit lopsided. He didn’t come back for a few minutes, but when he did he had his daughter rushing behind him with three more healers not far behind.

“Byleth, I’ve brought clerics-” He hurried back to your side, taking up your hand. Despite your raised temperature, your hands were notably clammy. It did not soothe his concerns.

Flayn touched the back of her hand to your forehead, then her fingers brushed your lymph nodes. She nodded to herself, looking quite serious.

“She is certainly ill.” She confirmed, “Does your throat hurt, milady? Are you nauseous, or dizzy?”

You swallowed, feeling an almost instant ache in your throat. You nodded, confirming her questions. At this point, you didn’t want to risk finding out how nauseous you really were.

Flayn and the other healers finished their examination quickly, and she delivered her verdict.

“I believe the Archbishop has contracted the flu.”

“Seiros-” Your husband paled, “She cannot have the flu- she is the Archbishop, Flayn.”

“She is still a little human, I’m afraid. Given the time of year, it’s not surprising that she got sick, too. It’s been going around the monastery for the last month, so it was only a matter of time before it reached her.” She smiled sadly, looking back to you, “We’ll prepare some medicine and some honey lemon tea to help soothe the symptoms. In the meantime, she’ll need to rest and eat gentle foods- nothing too rich or heavy.”

“I…I understand. Is there anything I can do to help?” He asked worriedly, squeezing your hand. Flayn could barely contain the smile on her lips- seeing that familiar tenderness in her father again was always a welcome sight.

“If you could stay with her while we prepare everything, that would be best.” She said far more calmly than Seteth ever could have mustered. He nodded, awkward and stiff, and thanked them for their help.

He all but sank onto the bedside when they left, as if the weight of the world suddenly doubled on his shoulders. You blinked up at him, seeing the tips of his ears much lower than usual.

“It’s just the flu, at least…” You managed to whisper, much gentler on your throat than attempting to speak. Seteth looked over at you, looking clearly like it was his fault this was happening to you.

“You should not be ill. I should have worked harder to ensure your safety from all of this! I should have taken steps to better isolate you from the monastery.”

“You kept me pretty isolated when you heard the first sneeze,” You recalled softly, and Seteth nodded, brow furrowed with deep thought.

“Did anyone come to visit you? Any of the professors, perhaps, who weren’t supposed to come by? Did Hanneman approach you for more research-”

“No…everybody went through you.”

“Then how?”

“It might have just…gotten into me from the cold.” You figured, closing your eyes when the room started to swirl again. “Mm…when do you think they’ll be back?”

Seteth paused his personal berating at your question. He came closer to you, touching a cool hand to your face. You were far, far too warm. Almost hot to the touch.

“They will be back quickly. No one takes the health of the Archbishop more seriously than the monastery’s clerics- besides myself, of course.”

“Yeah.” You agreed quietly. You pressed your face into his hand, enjoying the cool touch. “You’re nice and cold.”

“A blessing and a curse with my blood. For now, though, it is welcome.” He commented, gently moving his hand along your face, trying to cool you down. “I suppose a cold cloth would be more effective, though. Give me just a moment, I’ll fetch one for you.”

“Mm.”

Seteth stepped away to the washroom, fetching a bucket and the promised cloth for you. He drew the water and made sure it was plenty cool (but not too cold), and returned to your side.

He had it wrung out and gingerly running it over your face before settling it on your forehead, like any doting husband and/or father would.

“Better?”

“Yeah.”

“Excellent.” He mumbled, drawing up a chair to sit beside you. When the others returned, they were armed to the teeth with plenty of medical remedies to help speed up the healing process.

All of them looked quite focused and borderline grim (seeing as your health was no joke), but Flayn seemed the most anxious of all of them. She directed them to their jobs, and went to Seteth.

“Can I speak with you for a moment?” She whispered to him, and the pair stepped away, into the washroom.

She shut the door hurriedly, narrowing her eyes at her father.

“I know how she got the flu.”

“You do?”

“Yes- it was you!”

“...What?” His face blanched, entirely unconvinced by her accusatory tone. But she nodded, pointing her finger at him.

“You remember when I asked you why I didn’t get sick like human children do? You and Mother both explained to me that our blood is colder- so we can’t catch most diseases that humans can. But there’s a caveat, remember?”

“A caveat.” He echoed, thinking back. And his stomach plummeted.

“‘While it’s rare for us to become infected, we can still carry the diseases for a little while, and never even know it’.” She spoke, and the words rang out in his ears in her mother’s voice. He remembered that conversation very well. But it had been centuries since he ever had to think about it!

That, and he never spent enough time with a human in such close proximity that he could even think to carry and infect someone with it. But seeing as he was now married to one that was more human than dragon…

He buried his face in his hands.

“Oh, my gods.”

“You spent so much time as the barrier, you didn’t even realize you were bringing the flu to Byleth on a silver platter!” Flayn declared, “You were exposed to it more than anybody else, so of course it stuck to you long enough to latch onto a proper host.”

“I can’t believe it. This is all my fault! I gave my wife the flu!”

“Yes, yes you did.” Flayn agreed, nodding with a puff of pride in her chest. Though that was mainly due to the victory in discovering exactly how the Archbishop had been infected at all.

“She will never forgive me for this.” He sighed heavily, shaking his head as though grieving the death of a loved one. Flayn just rolled her eyes and patted his shoulder.

“I’m sure that Byleth won’t care at all- besides, it looks to me like it’s not a severe case. She should be back to normal in a couple days, provided we keep her hydrated and well-rested. Think you can handle that?”

“O-of course.” He nodded swiftly, “It is the least I can do since I am the one who did this to her! I will tend to her exclusively, so as not to risk further exposure to others.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Flayn agreed, and the two returned to the bedroom. You seemed to be feeling a little better, having downed a few different mixtures of various things you couldn’t taste. You looked a little more lucid than before, which was a good sign.

“Sir Seteth will be staying with the Archbishop until her health improves, and I will be performing routine checks on her while she recovers. But considering it’s not a severe case, I think we’ll be able to handle it with just the two of us. For now we’ll let the Archbishop rest, and take our leave. Do either of you have any questions?”

“No, Head Cleric. Thank you.” Seteth bowed to her deeply, thanking the others for their assistance as well. She ushered the healers out, stopping at the door with a gentler smile.

“Get well soon, Byleth! I’ll be back in a few hours to check on you two.”

You waved as she left, Seteth waiting until the doors closed before he once again sank onto your side of the bed. He looked far less anxious now, but all of his panic had suddenly been replaced with heavy guilt.

“...Seteth? Are you okay?”

“I am fine.” He sighed, “I am perfectly fine- do not fret. Rather, I am just…troubled.”

“I noticed.” You mused, “What happened when you two were gone?”

“Flayn told me how she thinks you got sick- she believes I gave it to you.”

Your eyebrows rose, “I thought you didn’t catch diseases that normal people did.”

“I don’t, not typically. In fact, it’s very rare that I get sick with anything humans normally do. But that does not mean I am invincible to it. It seems that someone was able to infect me with it long enough for it to leave my system and enter yours. It can’t survive for long in my blood, but it surely can with someone who is much warmer than I.”

“So you were the carrier…” You mused, “Makes sense.”

“I am so, so sorry, Byleth. I never intended to inflict you with such a terrible illness! I have already promised to Flayn that I will do my utmost best to take care of you and make sure you recover as soon as possible. I do hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me, once I have atoned for my sins.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” You laughed softly, biting back a cough, “But I won’t say no to being doted on for a few days.”

“I shan’t leave your side, my love.” He promised, “I’ll alert the staff that you won’t be available until you have recovered, and I’ll assume your duties until you’re back on your feet.”

“You’d do all that for me?”

He nodded, his smile tense but reassuring. “All of that and more. Please, tell me whenever you need something, and I will take care of it for you.”

Seteth would somehow find a way to ramp up his doting nature to 11, and waited on you hand and foot until you were recovered. You were quite grateful; or at least, you thought you were, because for the most part you were sleeping soundly through the days of navigating your sickness.

Once he was satisfied with your recovery, you were finally freed from the confines of your room, and made sure to treat Seteth for his kindness with loads of kisses (at least until he pushed you away for fear of infecting you again).