#flash is so fucking funny

[boostrific]

[hijinxinprogress]

I need Billy thinking he’s so great at hiding things (and he is) no one knows he’s like fucking eight but they are pretty sure he hates like half the league

Like I need Billy getting along with everyone but he’s kinda stiff around flash and Batman but it’s get worse after most of them have revealed their secret ids and the jls so confused

Billy 100% thought Batman had all these fucking gadgets bc he was like some high up government official and then he found out no Batman’s just some rich guy and he’s like god no why is that worse

Batman just doesn’t care (he does 💀 he’s so fucking offended esp bc Marvel used to call him Mr. Batman sir but also bc he thought it’d be easier to get marvels secret id and weaknesses) as long as it doesn’t affect missions but Flash is kinda concerned bc ‘I’m pretty nice to him…does he think I don’t like him?? Did I offend him?? Do speedsters like set off the magic balance or whatever??’ 

They decide to pair up flash, Batman, and Captain Marvel to make sure their issues won’t affect team cohesion so after they’re done rescuing these kids that got involved in some supervillains masterplan Batman and flash are doing the usual spiel of ‘the laws exist for a reason,’ ‘you can trust the police’ and ‘there’s no good reason to turn to crime’

These kids want nothing to do with that shit and they’re trying to edge away while making excuses ‘thank you sm!! But no this is so safe, I know this area so well! We can get home ourselves!’ as soon as Batman starts asking about their parents so captain marvel just grabs Batman and flash and starts flying in the opposite direction ‘do you see that?? No guys seriously look at this cool thing!!’ and Batman’s growling about ‘childish to a degree that’s entirely unprofessional’ and ‘needlessly endangering civilians, civilian children at that-!’ and flash is trying to mediate but batman is shoving documents in his face ‘They were runaways, they don’t have anywhere to go and now they’re on a hitlist’ the ‘you fucking imbecile’ goes unsaid but they all hear it so marvel takes them back to villains lair and grabs a henchman at random and goes ‘This guys a cop…you can check that with your fancy equipment, right??’ and batman checks solely to prove him wrong but that guy is a cop and so are about 60% of the henchmen they took out then marvel goes ‘So they wouldn’t have been safe even if you took them to a hospital or child services’

Before the id reveals there’s a mission where the police are involved and flash mentions something about police protocol and marvel is so concerned bc ‘you’re still undercover? How long have you been under cover dude??’ and flash is confused bc ‘you know I’m not undercover right?? That is my actual real life day job’ and no one believes him when he says marvel shot him the most disgusted look you can imagine and edged away from him 

Batman tries to hold a meeting to address how marvel deals with the police and it goes no where bc marvel is fucking menace and goes ‘don’t you do that too?? And technically I’m also a vigilante sooo’ and batman is scrambling to get the jls attention back like ‘marvel hits cops 62% percent harder than other criminals and is 43% less friendly when interacting with the police in any capacity’ but they don’t care bc they want to know why marvel considers himself a vigilante 

They start letting Marvel be the one to approach children and notice that he’s advising them on how to make food last longer and maintain good hygiene while taking care of themselves and a jl members like hey wtf?? and Marvel says some bullshit about how ‘he’s lived many lives and not all of them were charmed’ and it gets back to cyborg who starts a rumor that he was dracula bc he can’t believe marvel had the balls to look WW in the eyes and lie to her fucking face

[puppyeared]

READ IT AND WEEP

@chipper-smol @payasita @crowiin

[zetterbabe]

go home motherfucker, you can't fucking guard me (05.24.24)

[lover-of-mine]

Probie Buck 🫶

[cozystars]

Stay on, Falin. ( an extended, and frankly superior, version to an earlier edit/amv! enjoy )

[caredscared]

[Dylan staying over at Flash's place] Eddie: Dylan, how are you?? And Sleeper? How's Flash? Apologies I can't be there, truly...

Dylan: dad omg!!! you're alive!! we're ok but uhmm. Flash is??

Dylan:

[theperksofbeingstupid]

cellboier elden ring day two, total death count: 168

[satans-codpiece]

Rumble, Soundwave, Ravage, and Lazerbeak (and their fans) at the Decepticon Day Dance in Megatron's Master Plan (Pt. 2)

[mukuharakazui]

"Alphabet mafia" was funny (courtesy of @birthclod) so here are my alphabet mafia + nationality headcanons for Town of Salem's best faction (sorry to the roles without skins </3)

[puppyeared]

Childhood

[skeletalheartattack]

Subtitles below the keep reading:

Hey you, shut your mouth and look at my paw! DON'T FORGET!! [Incomprehensible sped up gibberish] This... Journey... Money... Loads of coins. [Incomprehensible sped up gibberish] What-about-her? What-about-her? ... What-about-her? 'She still like me? [Quiet but mostly incomprehensible gibberish about subtitles] O P S O P N O-1 1. Here's the spell: Love the mermaid, for sure! The mermaid is HAPPY! Okay! It's pretty normal for a fish, right? Guuuyyyssss, beeeee caaarefuuulll wiiiiith theeee GIIIIIRRRRLSSS!!! [Incomprehensible] Oh! Silly! Oh yes! Lamb chop boy! [Incomprehensible] [Very quietly, while white noise is playing over it] Goood eevening, aand weeelcome too the shoooowww... [In the background] Ohhh, mooney!

[extratrrestrial]

fanart i made of Reigen getting trapped in a cave

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

I think people who write de-aging kid fics about DC characters are great because it's all like "oh my god! Through totally random and unpreventable circumstances X character has been hit with magic/sci-fi bs and is now an adorable lil guy who needs the love and support of family and friends!" And that's 100% my kryptonite. I love it.

I do think people are sleeping on speedster controlled aging though.

I would kill for a fic where Kon gets deaged to five and Bart just shrugs and deages to five as well because it looks like fun. Then the two of em get into shenanigans and enjoy the childhood they never had.

Or if Hal gets turned into a child and Barry joins him so that Hal has company. And the two of em get to interact as kids and just have fun for once in their lives.

Or if Dick gets hit with a magic spell and shrinks back down to nine and Wally's like "Oh god, we were terrible as kids! I don't want to get stuck babysitting him..... 💡! I CAN'T GET STUCK BABYSITTING IF I'M ALSO A CHILD!!" And then it's just gremlin Dick and Wally running around together being the absolute worst.

I just think their selective aging thing is nifty and the fact that they can manually switch their ages is a fantastic plot device that rarely gets used.

[proselles]

Uraume despawned???