#fix him!!!

[t0bey]

I don't remember if this was shared but i got into a blackjack match today and immediately thought of your aesop post

identity v. i am on my hands and knees

[swan2swan]

Whoever conceived and animated this moment, I hope they're doing well and thriving. This is S-rank romance stuff here.

[ldr-is-my-life]

[slopdoughnut]

Oh!!! Oh!!!! Cas- cas is dead!!! :D alright!!!! Ok!! This is fine. Everything is fine.

Alright, can we get Chuck on the line, please? Yea, mhm- yes- no- I know he's off doing "family bonding time" or whatever with his sister, but I need you to call him. No- no- just- ok- listen we all know- ok, we all know he's the villain or whatever, yea? And for his story to work, we need Cas. No- no- ok I don't know exactly when that's happening, but it's soon, ok? Just- yea- mhm yep get him on the line. All right, thank you.

*ring ring*

"Hello?"

CHUCK, CASTIEL IS FUCKING DEAD. FIX IT

[o0kawaii0o]

no mercy 😭

[hellspawnmotel]

intimacy between an evil spiteful building-sized supercomputer and the lone scientist left behind after everyone else ditched and forgot about her (in which computer wants to kill scientist really bad but her programming wont let her so she just attempts to make her as miserable as possible instead, which also doesn't work because scientist is a freak)

[pan1ck]

[heavenbarnes]

I used to date an older guy (like mid 40s) a few years back and I always got stupidly turned on when he fixed stuff around his house?? Like, he just knew hot to do it and did it. No googling, just him and his tools. Feel like it would fit somewhere in your older bf Simon stuff.

god love a fully capable “fuck it i’ll do it” type of man 🫶🏼

you know that your older bf!simon doesn’t believe in hiring tradespeople for a service.

“why would i pay someone to fuck about in my home?”

“they’re not fucking about, si! they’d be fixing the sink”

“i’ll do it”

you have no doubt that simon was more than capable of fixing things around the house but you also wanted him relaxing when he was home.

turns out he couldn’t relax at the thought of another man doing something for you.

so you let him do it, you threw your hands up and waved your white tea towel in defeat as you heard him banging around in the garage for tools.

hearing the faint sounds of grunting and the occasional swear word coming from the bathroom, you thought it might pay to go and see how he was getting on.

fucking hell.

simon was on his back, arms stretched up above him as his hands dwarfed the pipe they were wrapped around. t-shirt riding up, lines of his stomach leading right to his belt, knees bent and boots firmly planted on the floor, you could honestly just-

“oi, you gonna’ stare or help me?”

now how the fuck?

“your heads in the cupboard, how did you know-“

“i always know where you are, pass me the wrench”

crouching down beside him, you handed it over and stayed down there to watch him work. scarred knuckles wrapped around the handle of the tool, other palm flat against the base of the sink so you could see the veins.

he was something else entirely.

“how d’you know how to do all this?”

“taught m’self, come hold this”

you reached over to replace where his palm was so he could have both hands back. “but why? surely other people don’t learn all this?”

“other people don’t care about their sweet’art not having to lift a finger- move your finger for me”

the more you stretched to hold the sink, the more you felt yourself losing traction with it. naturally, simon noticed before you did.

“y’need to get closer, cm’ere”

tools landing to the side of him, two large hands plucked you up till you were dropped in his lap. precarious situation but you couldn’t deny the sink was a lot easier to reach.

you stayed like that, letting simon work in peace as you enjoyed your view. honestly, he could invite you to the end of the world and you’d just be happy to hold his hand.

one hand splayed out on his chest, the other holding the sink, you suddenly felt a tickle forming at the end of your nose. before you knew it, you were pulling your hand back to scratch it- the one holding the sink.

you panicked, realising it could very well land on simon’s head. but it didn’t, it stayed completely still. face screwing up, you leant in again to give the sink a nudge only to find out it was totally fixed.

“what the hell, si? why’d you have me doing all that?”

you saw the smirk on his face as he flashed a look over at you. suddenly, you realised you weren’t the only one enjoying the view.

the hand that didn’t have the wrench came out to give you a pat on the side of your hip.

“c’mon sweet’art, i can’t get anything outta’ this?”

[vistarya]

May I have this dance, Mrs Tims?

[feelo-fick]

...i promise i take him seriously i just keep finding shitposts that fit soooo well... i have folder with just shitposts that fit ominously well with him that i keep wanting to draw and then i never get to them HAHAHA

[poltoreveur]

“He’s a villain! You only like him because he’s hot.”

Okay and?

[circuscountdowns]

many centuries down the line they can manage to have a civil enough family game night.

[draculings]

I played the depressed bisexual cop game for the first time and I love these absolute losers Very Much

[ldr-is-my-life]

🎀

[birdy-babe]

Ok but fr

Blitz literally got into a world shattering breakup with the love of his life his situationship

And this man literally

went home

thought to himself "Hmmm... how do I fix this"

And his solution was:

"ur gay" memes

He thought. He really thought- truly believed-

[venusbyline]

i can fix him (no really i can)