#five things i've been thinking about
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Thanks for the self-rec asks! I'm feeling very...not into my own ao3 right now so INSTEAD i'm going to send the asks on and tell you five things (in no particular order) that i've been thinking about this week <3
ONE: Swimming - I NEED TO FINISH THE SWIM FIC AKA THIS AMAZING WORK BY @carlos-in-glasses. I started reading and then I went overseas and I felt like I didn't have the time to go through and scream line by line and I'm so excited to dive back in (hehe see what I did there) now that it's finished!
TWO: State parks and secret service agents - not necessarily together, but I've been lowkey dreaming of obtaining my own slightly insane-looking garden gnome and a stock tank for a while thanks to the beautiful fic created by @iboatedhere (I don't have a pool and a stock tank seems like a good option right now). Also the secret service AU snippets are life giving (recent one here).
THREE: Guaranteeing nothing - screamed (literally) my way through the first fourteen chapters of Never a Guarantee and now I need to finish it!!!! @clottedcreamfudge and her writing make me so fucking feral in the best way and this fic is no exception. I had much fear about my sanity going into this because I knew it was going to drive me wild but my crops have been watered and I eagerly await completion of the arcs.
FOUR: Mythical things (aka. a dearly beloved universe) - to be fair, I'm not sure I ever stopped thinking about Jen's masterpiece - as if you were a mythical thing - because it lives rent free in my head (genuinely one of my favourite fics ever). I'm thinking about it a lot more now that @strandnreyes has put the idea of writing a sequel in my head (snippet is here). A re read is in my sights and I'm very excited about it! If you haven't read it, you absolutely have to.
FIVE: TK and Carlos getting unprofessional - @rmd-writes and I have been playing around in this document for ages, co-writing something so silly it borders on crack and it's the most fun I've had writing fic in ages (thank you to @celeritas2997 for putting up with us lol). Everything I do by myself seems so hard right now but this feels so easy and (I think it's fair to say) it's almost done? 1 and a little bit more chapters? I'm EXCITE. You can read the most recent snippets of the fic colloquially known as "(un)profesh" here (rmd) and here (me).
ALSO to anyone who has shared a doc link with me - I promise I am also thinking very hard about those and will give them the time and attention they deserve when I get home! I never know whether people like me specifically mentioning those types of things so I'll just like...sit down but please know i'm thinking of you and sorry that I haven't been around much!
#appreciation post#five things i've been thinking about#five things#fic writer appreciation#much love to everyone creating right now#you're doing great sweetie#kris jenner of the fandom THAT'S ME#911 lone star#red white and royal blue#rwrb#tarlos#first prince#queue do queue
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the way i would pay for oliver to write meta about buck's character
#like. he Gets it. i've been thinking about buck in this ep for five days straight and he said it better in one sentence than any paragraph#i could ever come up with#people are arguing over whether buck#acted the way he did bc he wanted tommy's attention or eddie's attention or bc he was feeling left out or whatever but i don't think it's#any one thing i think it was just a general feeling of Wrongness when tommy showed up borne from thirty years of repressing his sexuality#and he tried to rationalize it as jealousy or whatever and worked through the fact that his behavior was completely unreasonable but#it wasn't until tommy kissed him that all of the rage that was trapped inside him was allowed to escape bc he finally had a name for it#he's been turning over parts of himself for years trying to find that final piece and getting more and more upset when it eludes him#n this kiss was the kind of cathartic relief that he so desperately needed bc it allowed him to understand what's been missing#anyway. oliver stark i love you so much i'm so grateful you play buck#buck#rae.txt#911
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blood dripped from Poseidon's mouth, red.
red.
the day they overthrew Kronos, child-eater (stomach acid crawling around them, after maw of teeth grazing his small, child body), his golden ichor bled red.
god blood, degraded into a mortal's.
the day Typhon, father of monsters (as big as their father was, as big as the Titans with sharp claws and teeth) ripped out Zeus' tendons, his blood was red.
Poseidon, god of the tides, son of Kronos, looked up at the dark shape stood above him, his own golden trident in his hand, the teeth like prongs drenched in red.
Odysseus is a mortal. was a human.
sharp webbed ears spread out on the side of their head, scales grew around their neck and arms, shining like a coral reef, illuminated by their growing red eyes, that were shrunken to slits.
Odysseus' teeth glinted in the lightning, showing their unnaturally sharp point.
monster.
#small snippet that i can't develop any further.#this is uh#Ithacan Naga AU#didn't mean to talk about Poseidon's probable trauma with Kronos but here we are. do you think particularly salty or poisoned water reminds#poseidon of stomach acid? do you think the original five olympians are closer knit with each other#from being eaten alive as a child and then growing up in a stomach?#do you think hestia is the goddess of family cause she was the oldest sister and had to care for the others the most? that hades find an un#ealthy comfort in the darkness of the underworld? How do you think stomach acid was for Poseidon; as god of the sea? if that was the closes#he could get to his domain in a /stomach/? The same with demeter? only chewed up food as the closest to agriculture?#do you think hera understood - somehow - that this hurt their mother?#sigh#and all and all Zeus was really only able to lead them so easily afterwards is cause they didn't /know/ what to do after they were freed?#/AND/ Zeus really isn't privy to any of it; cause of course he isn't (nor does he care to know).#didn't mean to rant with that but. yup. anyway#tbh i want to draw a part of this to show the webbed ears w/ head-wings so. yeah. maybe. i'm still getting used to my new drawing tablet an#my sketchbook fell in water a while ago and i've been frozen on how to deal with it. so. yeah.#anyway#600 strike#vengence saga#epic the musical#the vengeance saga#epic the vengeance saga#why do we have so many tags for the same thing ;.)#six hundred strike#odysseus epic#epic odysseus#odysseus#writing#poseidon epic#epic poseidon
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*chanting quietly to myself* I need to do homework I need to do homework I need to do homework I need to do homework I need to do homew
#ack why am I like this#okay I know why but still#I have five reading assignments a quiz and two discussion assignments#but the most urgent thing is to listen to a podcast and write stuff about it#I got through an hour of it and realized I couldn't remember any of the important details and there's no transcript aaaaa#I think I am getting sick maybe#I need to go make lunch#I would rather flop onto my bed though#blue complains into the void#feels like I've been doing that a lot lately. sorry y'all
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just recently rewatched the end of time specials, and I can't stop thinking about the way the master caught the doctor only to let him drop anyway. hey guys. what the fuck? I like had a visceral reaction to that and I don't even know why. that's. what. why'd he do that. do it again
#also just got through spyfall and I gotta say#have they always been able to do telepathy like that?#was saxon smashing their foreheads together completely and utterly unnecessary?#did he just... decide to do that? after catching the doctor and then still letting him flop to the ground?#I need. like. a five page analysis on that moment#I need. I need. I#I care less about the forehead smash and more about the catching/dropping thing this is haunting me#that. idk. foreheads was crazy but why does no one talk about the other thing#cause I'm still losing my mind over it#I'm not even sure I've ever talked about these two before without shoving rose tyler in the middle#that's how much that scene has affected me#idk anything about these two I've never cared about thoschei before this but I don't think I can ever come back from this#I think I've finally been sucked in#thoschei#tensimm#tenth doctor#the master#simm master#doctor who
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And never let you go ♥
Bonus without the overspill lighting:
#💟#Digital art#Full Art#Art#Edgar#Scriabin#It's that time of year again where I get real sappy about Vargas ♥ Because yes! Once again it is my own personal Vargasversary! 🎊 Yaaaay#Seven years now - I don't know what to do with seven years it feels like a hard to define number haha#Right in the middle between five years and ten years! A while to be certain but hard to define as a Long Time either hmm#Well whatever it doesn't matter <3 The important part is that I still love Vargas and them very much ♥♪#I actually didn't really have any specific plans for this Vargasversary :0 I haven't been drawing them much again#Other things have drawn my focus and attention hehe ♪#So I just kinda set my hand loose - no sketches on paper no defined idea - this is just what my hand/brain came up with in the moment#I'm pleased :) I think it accurately expresses how I feel about them hehe <3#I wrote down what ended up being the text/caption a couple months ago while I was in Big Love in their direction#I don't remember what inspired it anymore other than just - They ♥ Themst ♥ Do love them <3#I've planned my next reread now ♪ Barring anything drastic (like an update lol) I know when I'll be rereading next#I'm looking forward to it! :D As always hehe <3#It's still a bit a ways off which works well for recharging :)#And of course I'll be doing my usual in the meanwhile - this and the main anniversary and my sketchdumps and Requestober haha#The caption is as much me as it is Edgar after all <3#Even quiet and sleeping I still find them as a comfort - a place I find rest and joy in ♥#Inspiring and lovely and wonderful - pretty and tender and dear!#Oh and#Always finding a way to flip up the bottom of the shirt#Hehe <3
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Yeah, we know we shine, born out of a fire And we're burning through, through...
Oil & Water - PVRIS
#tdj#the devil judge#the devil judge edit#twabbbiih's edit#kim ga on#kang yo han#kim gaon#kang yohan#gahan#Me at 6.55am: should this be from kyh's perspective?! too late now#This song has been out for *checks notes* 5 days and I've spent those five days thinking about this#once again i drag pvris into things#get you a friend who will help you decide between pics for a silly little edit first thing in the morning with no question#😘#Gosh the difficulty of choosing which scene to go with for kyh pushing kgo too much too soon tho#I was going to be really literal for the arms wide open one but it looked shit so here we are
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I was trying to learn more about Japan's parapsychology craze in the 80s and 90s and was having a surprisingly difficult time finding good sources on Google. So I kept trying different search terms and finally this comes up
cia??? freedom of information act???
Anyway!! I clicked on it and the page is "down for maintenance" and I have never been more consumed with curiosity lmao.
I had no idea that Google would search through FOIA documents...
#I genuinely don't even know how to tag this lmao#I KNOW I HAVE NICHE INTERESTS BUT THEY'RE NOT LIKE... 'OF INTEREST TO THE GOVERNMENT' NICHE..#I remember reading an article about the institutes that did research on 'gifted' children in Japan...#I think Sony did one?#I showed dad late night with the devil the other night so I've been thinking about all that#I know more about the American parapsychology craze but I'd like to learn more about the Japanese one#I remember being really fascinated by the very different attitudes Americans vs Japanese have about NRMs and such#while I was taking a class on NRMs in college#and there's some overlap with the whole esper thing#don't mind me I'm just rambling about topics that like five other people on earth care about
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WAIT WAIT WAIT someone is like 'pfft marrying their jinchurriki. obviously its political' and minato is like. you accuse me. of NOT LOVING MY WIFE? RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME? ILL HAVE YOU KNOW-
minato rips off his shirt to reveal a full chest tattoo that says I LOVE KUSHINA 5EVER
#i the context of#reborn au#kushina being a jinchuriki is a very well kept secret#but if we keep my headcanon that uzushio was attacked specifically because#people were afraid that minato getting the hat AND being married to kushina would mean uzushio would join the war on konoha's side#then yes i bet lots of people outside of konoha think it was a political marriage#(no one in konoha thinks this because anyone who's talked to minato for five minutes knows he loves his wife)#also yes i think minato could stand there and listen to people say insane and inaccurate and possibly cruel things about HIM all day#but you speak ill of his family?????? RIP u#idk obviously we want to make him 'break character' at ninjacon but i've been debating how#was considering a scenario where someone says something weird af to tori and he's like#'i can't believe he would say that to you IN FRONT OF ME'#like he's very aware weird dudes say inappropriate things to teen girls ok. he signs off on missions involving teenage girls with knives#taking advantage of that#but also he's been hokage for like a decade. usually people behave in front fo him????????
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horror's about to get his shit rocked i guess but its ok he got to say a cool line. anyways i had this silly little idea :3 horror deserves to be the one inflicting pain onto killer sometimes anyways it can't ALWAYS be killer being sadistic 😒😒😒
#killer got a bit too silly and horror had to put him in line#and by a bit too silly i mean do the wrong thing at the wrong time (when horrors in a bad mood)#i had this idea all throughout school broooo BROOOOO they hate eachother so much why do they stick around#if it were dust doing it he'd do it in silence or maybe rambling a lot of stuff really quietly to himself#but nooo horror likes to rub it in killer's face and oh shiiiit stage 3 RUUUUN#its ok its ok horror dont worry ill protect you with my totally awesome creator powers!#and then they made up and kissed dont worry this was all consensual#dust's bitches get a bit freaky sometimes dont worry it was ALL planned totally not spontaneous#i think this is one of (if not the only) times ive ever DRAWN out my short little ideas#usually i just like. imagine it and then type it out and have to figure out how to make it a hc or rant or wtvr#but i really didn't think i could capture this idea in anything but art. see this is why i dont particularly like my artstyle#this looks SO silly and goofyUGH!!!! if only my art didn't look like an 11 yro drew it#this is totally horrorkiller btw this is ship art :3#thinking about that five finger filet draft i have again about hrkl FUCK i need to actually edit that one#horror's new design looks so cool here UGH THE CLOAK!!! ITS SO SIMPLE BUT ADDS SO MUCH!!!!#mtt are one big echo chamber of negative reinforcement and improvement#they all learn to not piss eachother off but not because they respect eachother#but just because none of them wanna deal with the fighting or the insults#hey i mean...... if it works it works i guess! don't fix what's broken!#besides it's better like this anyways. what's that? actually be vulnerable and learn to accept eachother? you sound mad#they can get their therapy and positive influences ELSEWHERE!!!! TOGETHER THEY SUCK ‼️‼️‼️‼️#alright time to make some progress on swapinverse :3 i've actually been doing a lot lately!!!!#if i dont finish crash's extra facts section today let's just say that you wont be hearing from me. forever. becaus ill be killing myse#tricule art#maybe i should start the comic now...... :3333 mayhaps#NEED TO FINISH CHARACTER LORE AND THEN ACTUAL STORY AND THEN CAN MAKE COMIC
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pitched battle inside my brain between the part of me that's desperately shaking myself by the shoulders going "YOU HAVE GOT TO ACTUALLY LIVE THE KIND OF LIFE YOU IMAGINE INSTEAD OF JUST SITTING AROUND IMAGINING IT UNTIL YOU DIE!!" and the part of me that's clutching my face going "is this allowed? is this allowed?? is this allowed???"
#trying to plan a solo cicada pilgrimage and getting brainworms about it yeehaw#'making a lot of plans and never actually doing things in real life' has been a problem for literally as long as I can remember#but I also feel like I've developed a learned helplessness over the last several years that's gotten worse as I've gotten older??#me age twenty: I think I'm gonna take myself to chicago next week because I feel like going to the zoo#me age thirty: am I allowed to go camping alone. am I allowed to do a solo road trip. I need a grownup#to be extremely clear I am very much allowed and this is not justin's fault and I don't know where it comes from#like I'll run things by him lowkey seeking 'permission' that I don't even need and he'll be like 'yeah that sounds good to me'#and then I STILL won't do the thing because like. my brain keeps insisting there needs to be a grownup in charge?? HELLO I'M GROWNUP#anyway I'm doing cicada trip solo BECAUSE-- the drive is so long I want to do five days because two of them will just be driving#and he can't get that much time off work right now#AND because I literally only want to Be Camping and Looking At Bugs but he'd get bored of a week of that he likes Activities#me this morning getting insecure and weird: what are your thoughts... on cicada voyage....#him after at first not even understanding the question: I'm SO excited for you?? you deserve to get to go absolutely feral???#I do.... ;n; 💕 why am I so scared to be a person.......#about me#cicada quest
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Many such cases of adding a third fucked up guy into the mix to make me actually interested in a ship
#I finished rewatching gravity falls for the first time since the show ended and I've been snooping around the fandon tags#and honestly. I don't really care about ford sorry guys 🙏#so like billf/rd isn't that interesting to me like I get it. I promise I understand#just I sare way more about the stan twins problems than fords toxic yoai triangle thing#HOWEVER add in fiddleford leaving his wife and son bc he's that crazy about ford and then ur situationship let's himself#get possessed by a demon and they have a mutual obsession thing going on. ok well he's already come this far why doesn't he#just go all in is what I'm saying. billf/rd^2 is just sooo funny to me and why more engaging and messy than what was already going on#missed opportunity from most of this fandom#sstfu.txt#really tried to avoid things going into the tag whatever#but no yeah I will always care more about family drama in the stuff I watch than shipping#I'm really wondering how much jk simmons was paid and if that was why ford showed up so late#bc like. I do think season 2 is stronger than season one but I still feel that the pacing could have improved with#not what he seems and tale of two stans should have happened around like episode five and shuffled some other plot points around#only like what. 5 episodes with ford in actually there before the finale is a bummer
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#whhhyyyy did i only just find this???#it's from five weeks ago so it's not on catch up anymore#i want to here the whole thing#the insights!!!#also#they would enjoy doing radio wouldn't they???#maybe they've even begun thinking about doing radio?#(i need to digest this!)#(and i've been trying to get up from my bed for a good one and a half hours now... the meds have definitely worn off)#2024#radio
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Every day I am haunted by the fact JJK could be amazing but it will be just idk Bleach or something
#I've seen a lot of people complaining about the fact that it's impossible to fit the ending of every unfinished arc#in the five chapters that remain for the manga to end for good#And it all just... legitimises my fear and apprehension haha#And it's a pity! It's a pity! The dynamics were so good! And yet nothing! Sukuna was so good! And yet nothing!#It was so nice how he seemed to play with the idea of transcending human categories and values but even the values of curses so to speak#Well beyond everything. Well beyond positive/creative nihilism even! He was not like Mahito#I wonder if Mahito is more a negative nihilism with a funny edge or a positive nihilism. For now it seems positive#with how he seems to have said something like 'nothing matters so we can do whatever we want and create what matters'#But Sukuna transcends all that! It could have been interesting to see how that developed in a way that wasn't just childish edginess#But no. And then there's all the idea of curses and sorcerers not being all that different#and so not really entirely possible to say one side is good and the other bad#There was the idea of the very source of powers with fear and love playing a role here in such a juicy way#And then there's the entire thing happening with Gojo as a concept and the very concepts he plays with which I could eat like an apple#but also I would let those very concepts eat at my heart as a worm inside an apple#Full of holes and rotting inside out and yet delighting at the sweetness#It could all be so good! And yet! Most of the manga is a few sketched dynamics and concepts and a very long fight with Sukuna#promising half finished arcs#WHY it could have been so good. And I don't think criticism is a matter of 'fans being spoiled! Go write your story!' or something#It's not a matter of things not going as fans would want them to be. It's a matter of not writing well#or cohesively things established by the author themselves. And I think that's a fair criticism#If we are to take manga as an art‚ which I wholeheartedly support‚#then we can subject mangas to artistic or literary or whatever you want to call it analysis. There are works that are better constructed#than others‚ and there are works that have good ideas but poor execution. And it's always a pity#In the case of JJK it's truly breaking my heart and the comments I see around about these five last chapters are not helping xD#God it could be so good. So good. And I'm not talking about in specific to me‚ which yes that too given the topics‚#but just so good in general. It could be so good. It could have been so good#And yet it's starting to look more and more like any other shonen. It truly breaks my heart haha#I talk too much#Jujutsu Kaisen#I used Bleach because I think that's one of the mangas that has been the most a let down to the friends I have who like shonen
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no yeah i really love how every core 4 member got a real happy ending....except for ej
nini is happily pursuing music in la with her moms' full support
ricky is dating gina, a girl he calls "home". he's finally becoming more at peace with love and how to show it. he's learned how to not run from his problems. his parents are getting back together (???) and his drama teacher wrote such a good letter of recommendation that he was accepted into a community college
gina becomes a literal movie star and was able to change the filming location of her second movie, without any consequences, to salt lake so she can physically be with ricky, the boy she finally got to date after crushing on him since the day they met. she has a permanent home to call her own now. her mom finally showed up to an opening night and she was finally able to portray gabriella
and then ej...is alone (in a wildcat sense) at college, financially cut off from his family, working multiple jobs to afford it. he spends most of his season 4 screentime guiding and helping others (ricky, gina, miss jenn, madlyn) instead of an actual storyline and a lot of his lines were about how he's made mistakes and has to live with them
#um...ignore how nini has a singular sentence#but anyway#ej says that he's happy but compared to every other important character nothing happy happens to him#obviously you can be at peace with/like a less than perfect situation#but that doesn't make the situation good or that you don't deserve more than that#he's literally cousins with ashlyn#he has a connection to a main character and yet we hear nothing about how he's doing until admissions#hell his first mention in the season is terri talking bad about him to gina#and before someone says 'well he graduated already and this is about the students of east high so-'#lily was at east high for all of five minutes and she got plotlines INCLUDING dating one of the main characters#dewey freakin wood got an appearance in s4 when we're no longer at the camp...#jenn mike lynne and ben all have extensive storylines and they're adults#(and mike and lynne don't even work at east high like jennzzara! they're just ricky's parents !)#channing (someone who really didn't need to be such a big character) had a whole storyline in s3#even jarred had a storyline in s4 !!! AND HE WAS A STALKER !!!#can you tell i'm pissed#probably missed some things i'm going off of memory and rage#and it just seems like a poor writing choice to do nothing with ej until ep 5 when he was still dealing with his dad when s3 ended#<- something that could've been made into a storyline !! instead of just throwing it at us that ej was cut off#hsmtmts#high school musical the musical the series#ej caswell#nini salazar roberts#ricky bowen#gina porter#okay i regularly call them the core 4 so i think i've tricked myself into thinking other ppl do too...#tags are not as neat as i want them to be the thoughts just kinda spilled out but hopefully this all makes sense
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I've got a weird habit in recent times where whenever I play an open world game, eventually I just start wandering around the map thinking "if the Clans in Warriors lived here, how would the territories be divided up? where would their camps be? where would they hold gatherings and commune with their ancestors?" and thinking about this in a fantasy-esque game lately has really made me long for a version of Warriors that does take place in a weirder, more fantastical world. obviously not to say there's anything wrong with the canon setting, but it is certainly a fun AU to ponder.
#great news for no one but myself: i figured out perfect camps and territories for all five clans in the game I'm playing :)#in the newest section of the map anyway. not the full map that thing is way too big lol#also i say ''whenever i play an open world game'' but i think I've only done this with three games#and I've only thought about it extensively for two of them#anyway it's just a fun little activity when I've been playing for quite a while and I'm winding down and getting ready to turn it off#sometimes it's just fun and relaxing to wander around in a game and think about the landscape#and warriors has had such a chokehold on me for so many years that it's bound to enter my thoughts#pigeon mews
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