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pietrotheavenger · 4 years ago

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learn to love

chapter 9 - good enough

summary: steve and y/n don’t get along. now, they have to.

pairings: au!steve rogers x fem!reader

warnings: alcohol, insecurity

a/n: short and sweet 1k word count. not edited. enjoy!

series masterlist

following the speeches and the cake cutting, the first dance began. steve’s hand rested on y/n’s lap. he kept glancing at her and every time she had a faraway look in her eyes, as if she wasn’t there. when the dance floor opened for other couples, she stiffened. “we don’t have to if you don’t want to,” his voice was above a whisper, tickling her ear.

she swallowed the lump in her throat. she couldn’t let her emotions get in the way of her purpose. she was there to be his girlfriend. she knew she had to. “it’s okay,” she responded.

he stood and held his hand out to her. she slipped her fingers between his and followed him to the dance floor, where other couples were assembling. he wrapped his arm around her waist and she placed her hand on his shoulder. they began to slow dance. she looked up at him and he studied her face. he didn’t know what to say. so, he didn’t say anything. she was relieved by his silence. he could feel the switch in her aura, once shining brightly but now dim and melancholic. he didn’t know what was troubling her but all that he wanted to do was fix it.

y/n had never felt so out of place before. she felt like an imposter, wearing fancy clothes, drinking expensive alcohol, and staying in such a nice house. her reality was more like drinking cheap wine in her sweatpants, nestled on the couch in her apartment. not to mention the fact that technically, her and steve weren’t actually dating. she felt like an imposter, all of the guilt from their lie crashing down onto her at once. she thought the whole ordeal would be simple, no strings attached. but now that emotions were involved, it was different. she wanted the real approval of his family for her real self, not the emulation of a perfect girlfriend.

when the song came to an end, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and guided her back to the table. he scooted his chair closer to hers so that he could throw his arm around her shoulders. the small act of wanting to be near her made her feel like bursting into tears. she could feel them welling up in her eyes. she couldn’t help but think that he was too good for her.

dinner was served and she picked at her plate, pushing the food around like a child being served brussel sprouts. steve noticed. “have a bite of mine,” he suggested, holding his fork to her lips, hand cupped underneath. she wanted to say no and push his hand away, but she was scared of someone seeing right through her guise.

so, she opened her mouth and ate the food. “it’s good,” she told him.

“do you like mine better? do you wanna switch plates?” his forehead was creased as his eyes searched her expression for any betrayal of her thinly veiled feelings.

“oh, no i’m alright,” she responded, picking up her own fork. she gave him a tired smile.

“what’s bothering you?” he asked after a moment of silence between them.

she looked into his eyes. he could never hide what he was feeling and she could easily see that he was worried. “i don’t think that this is the right time or place,” she answered.

he nodded to himself, temporarily satiated with the answer. “i do actually like you, you know?” he said, a beat later.

“steve,” she stated, her voice wavering.

“what?” his concern was evident.

“i need some air,” she exhaled and stood up without looking at him, bunched up her skirt, and was off.

“y/n!” he called out behind her, but she didn’t look back. he sighed and stood up, following her.

she pushed past the doors of the venue and gasped when the cool evening air filled her lungs. she thought she was suffocating in there, each breath painful. she sat down on the steps and put her head in her hands.

“y/n,” he had caught up to her. he was standing behind her, hands at his side. “you don’t have to say anything. just let me be here for you,” he pleaded. when she didn’t reply, he sat down beside her, pulled her into his chest, and let her cry.

she couldn’t tell where her emotions started and where they ended. everything was overwhelming her. his presence was comforting. he ran his fingers up and down her arm and held her close.

“i don’t want to ruin your night,” she sniffled, once she had calmed down.

“you’re more important to me than a stupid party,” he told her, stroking her hair. “you haven’t ruined anything.”

‘god,’ she thought, ‘i don’t deserve him.’ she pulled away from him and dabbed her eyes with her fingertips. “do i look like i’ve been crying?” she asked him.

to steve, she looked stunning. the dim lights glowed behind her and she looked angelic. he didn’t care if her hair and makeup were messy. she still managed to make his heartbeat a little faster every time she looked at him. “honestly? yeah,” he said with half of a grin. “you still look beautiful.”

“oh, god,” she groaned with a half-cry and half-laugh. of course this was her luck.

“don’t start again,” he chuckled. “here, let me,” he gently cupped her face and softly ran his thumbs under her eyes, focusing intently. his bottom lip was drawn between his teeth. he could feel her gaze on him and he felt nervous, like he was in high school and attempting to impress his crush. “hm, i think i made things worse.”

“steve!” she whined, pushing his hands away.

“i’m joking! i almost got all of it!” he laughed and she couldn’t help but join in with him. he brought his hands back to her face and she looked upwards so that he could get the last of her running mascara. “oh, y/n. what ever am i going to do with you?” he sighed, a smile playing on his lips.

her eyes flitted back to his. “i don’t know, steve.”

infinity tags:

@ssweet-empowerment ; @stardustandbucky ; @abuckyrogersworld ; @freightcarcap ; @c-a-v-a-l-r-y ; @coffeebooksandfandom ; @somethingmoreclever ; @2dreamcatcher8 ; @illegalportkey ; @fuckthatfeeling ; @buckybarneshairpullingkink ; @tuliptx ; @wwhitewwolff ; @thisismysecrethappyplace ; @appreciating-chase-brody ; @maladaptive-ninja-returns ; @marvelrose ; @sophiealiice ; @galacticstxrdust ; @fitzsimmons-is-forever r ; @dumblani ; @i-padfootblack-things ; @pinknerdpanda ; @marvelssluts ;

learn to love tags:

@youunravelme ; @cailin-lefantasy ; @clockworkherondale ; @clean-and-claire ; @denzmallows ; @ibxxmc-blog ; @itsallyscorner ; @brujademente ; @dusuncelidusuncesiz ; @complete-trash-101 ; @radical-gecko ; @liebestraume-e : @cruelsummer-s ;

#steve rogers #marvel #the avengers #mcu #steve rogers x reader #captain america #reader insert #fanfiction #enemies to lovers #slowburn #fake dating

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light-miracles · 4 years ago

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AoS season 5 reactions

Or how to ruin a show that until then was being flawlessly written.

Going by chronological order with @shieldagent93 having to stand my rants...

~In 5x01, two of the three sentences said by Jemma had the word "Fitz". It's too much. It's like if she's always thinking about him.

~I... What's happening?? When do they explain what's going on?

~I don't like this Deke guy.

~5x05 was great. It explained a lot of the doubts I had. Also seeing Hunter again was amazing.

~What the fuck are they doing shooting at a fuckin quinjet wtf.

~5x08 has me like "how does time travel works in Marvel?". Like... They're in the future but they also raised Robin. Guess it's a Marvel thing. Also i would really like Fitz a little more if he had a better control of his outburst. I know, he's frustrated, but I guess screaming angry men just trigger me... And he has an ugly as fuck beard now. Anyway, May looks younger every season. The woman grows old in reverse.

~Done with 5x10. My Elena feelings are hurting. Also someone in the writing room as an amputation kink... Honestly this season is being the least cool (which is still better than what I'm used but, still). The dystopan society and everything related feels clumsy.

~You gotta be freakin kidding me her arms actually got chopped off?? Also, bad Susan Vásquez, bad. Alex Danvers would be disappointed

~"Losing a life is better than two" "This is not Hydra, Leopold!" Like, fuckin literally, Leopold!

~... There was an Hydra high school??? How did they remain undercover for 70 years, again?... I mean, they literally have an Hydra high school uniform... The person who washes their clothes might, idk, GUESS it's an Hydra high school.

~5x14... What the fuck did i just watch. Yeah, fuck FitzSimmons. Fuck Fitz. The fuck with Simmons. And I guess you won't catch me talking about Skimmons for a while. Wtf.

~Note to myself: Dessica never exaggerates. When she says something is bad, it's bad.

~Also, funny how Fitz apparently was talking to his evil self for weeks and no one noticed anything different about him. Jemma didn't notice anything different about him. So either that was bad writing or the dude is truly a psycho and not worse than Ward.

~5x15 has me like 'why no one is angry at Fitz?' He didn't steal someone's cookie he fuckin cut into Daisy??? Why don't they let Jemma be angry at him?? Since when all Jemma cares is only him??... I miss the Jemma of the past seasons.

~Deke: 'I respect you for what you did'

Is this... Is this for real???

~Deke: Daisy is a pain in the ass

FitzSimmons: I noticed.

Me: ENOUGH OF THIS BULL-

~ Jemma: "Fitz is paying for thinking differently"

*internally screaming *

~You know, this is worse than Supergirl's s5. Because the bullshit was said mostly by the fans, not the actual characters.

~"Maybe that they chopped your arms off wasn't so bad"... Are they trying to make me hate him?... Who wrote this?

Pffffffffffffffff LMAO!!!! He's fuckin cosplaying Khan from Star Trek...

~Plz let this season end.

~... Did i just hear the phrase 'Fitz is an incredible person' coming out of Daisy's mouth-i can't believe it

~Andddd Talbot just killed Brainiac 5.

~Jemma "torturing Daisy is okay but I draw the line at using an old corpse to create a cure to save Coulson's life" Simmons... Daisy literally hijacked her mother's corpse and it's not even the weirder thing about this season.

~Poor Jiaying. Like, yeah, she tried to kill Daisy but she was bananas at the moment and everything was Hydra's fault so...(Just like ANOTHER scientist restrained ANOTHER defenseless asian girl because he thought FUCKIN CUTTING INTO HER was for the GREATER GOOD) (I WONDER WHO MIGHT THAT BE)

~Okay but this evil alien villian is literally just a black man. No pointy ears. No weird eyes. No sharp teeth. Not even ants. Just a black man. Black men must look alien enough to whoever created this character

~Fitz: We can't break the time loop

Jemma: Okay Fitz ❤️

Fitz: I changed my mind I think we must make sure we break it

Jemma: Okay Fitz ❤️

This woman hasn't had a single personal thought in 15 episodes

~ Philindaisy's shoulders must hurt from carrying the weight of the season. Mack is honestly the only survivor of this team. I don't know any person called Finn or Simona or whoever. Neither their grandson Dick the Dick. And Elena is on thin, thin ice. I can still understand her pov and see why she does what she does. That's why she's on thin ice instead of on the bottom of the ocean like Fido and Simpsons.

~"I'm the savior of the world" said he, as he crashed his ship against a fuckin city. Homeboy at least be a coherent villian ffs-He's making the jesuchrist pose. Talbot, honey I'm so sorry.

~... So is Fitz dead?? I don't get it. Is he dead?? Why is everyone talking like if he were sleeping? What happened? I can't believe this show broke the curse of the 4th season just to invent the curse of the 5th.

You know the worst thing of this season?? That Daisy did everything in her power to protect Jemma from Papa Smurf and some episodes after it Jemma fuckin says it was right to hurt Daisy. Homegirl, that's a shit friend. Someone introduce her to Lena Luthor.

#Agents of shield #aos s5 #anti fitzsimmons #anti leo fitz #Anti jemma Simmons #Anti fitz #Daisy Johnson deserves better

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thewidowsghost · 4 years ago

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The Sky’s Tsunami - Chapter 5

3rd Person POV

(Y/n) storms out of the plane to stare a Coulson as LOLA lands, (Y/n)'s shoulder freshly bandaged from her gunshot wound.

"You called my sister! Why the hell did you call my sister?!" (Y/n) yells at the man and Skye steps back.

"I called Clint too," Coulson says.

"What the hell! That's even worse!" (Y/n) storms back onto the plane, stopping as she runs into a curly-haired redhead and a spiky-haired blonde.

Ward, Skye, May, Coulson, Simmons, and Fitz watch as the taller redhead screams at (Y/n) in Russian.

(Y/n) shoots a desperate glance at Clint and he finally comes to her rescue.

"Natasha," everyone's head turns to the tall redhead at the blonde's word. "Calm down, it's not like she's not been shot before."

"I'm staying until her shoulder's healed," Natasha says.

(Y/n) smiles, letting out a little laugh, "Of course you are." Then she turns to Clint. "But you're not staying, right Hawkeye?"

Everyone but Coulson's jaws drop.

"Shut it, (Y/n). I'm leaving," Clint says, giving (Y/n) a hug.

"Bye Clint," (Y/n) says, using her uninjured arm to nudge her friend back towards the stairs to get into the Quinjet. "Wait, who's taking care of my kitten?" she asks.

"Clint," Natasha answers simply.

(Y/n) nods. "Now, let me take you to my office," (Y/n) glares at her sister, grabbing her upper arm.

"(Y/n)'s not an Avenger though, is she?" Jemma asks, watching as (Y/n) drags her sister upstairs.

"No, I think we'd know," Fitz reasons.

(Y/n) walks back down the spiral staircase to help Skye carry her things onto the Bus.

(Y/n) takes a duffel bag and Skye a box of some of her things.

"I'd carry more -" (Y/n) is cut off.

"I'd murder you," Natasha says, taking the duffel from (Y/n).

"You know I love you, but I really hate you sometimes," (Y/n) complains and Skye watches the two bicker as they walk up the spiral staircase. "And by the way, my shoulder's healed, you can leave now," (Y/n) smiles, taking off the sling.

Natasha narrows her eyes, staring at (Y/n)'s shoulder.

"Fine," Natasha shakes her head, before smiling. "I'm still staying," she says and (Y/n) groans.

"You're mean," (Y/n) pouts.

"After this whole thing, I'm wondering where my bunk is," Skye says.

"Right, follow me," (Y/n) says, pointing to a bunk near her office. "And Nat, your's is here," she points to the farthest bunk away.

(Y/n) leaves the two and walks into the debriefing room.

"We've been called in to investigate an 0-8-4," Ward says as she walks in. "We all know what that means."

"Yeah, it means," (Y/n) says. "It means, we don't know what that means."

"Officially, it's an airborne mobile command station," Fitz says, leaning on the wall by Skye's bunk. "But we call it the Bus. We find it best to use shorthand when in the field. But everything has to be just so, you know, because of the danger."

"Yeah, I've been up here before," Skye answers, sitting down on her bed, "but I didn't see much because of the bag Agent Ward had put over my head."

"Yes, so sorry about that," Simmons says. "Water?" she asks, grabbing a bottle from a nearby table.

"Wheels up in two, lock it or lose it," May's voice echoes over the intercom.

"What does that mean?" Skye wonders aloud.

"No backing out now," Simmons says.

"Hey," Skye says as Ward knocks on the door of her bunk. "I know we didn't really -"

"Might want to read that," Ward says, shoving a pamphlet into the brunette's hands. "This isn't like other planes."

"You can say that again," Skye mutters, opening the pamphlet and looking at it.

"Say what again?" Coulson asks as he and (Y/n) step forward.

"Sweet ride," Skye says with a dazzling smile that (Y/n) definitely didn't notice.

"I earned a little goodwill from Director Fury when I got hit right before the Battle of New York," Coulson says.

"You took a bullet?" Skye asks, an interested expression on her face.

"Ish," Coulson says.

"An Asgardian stabbed him through the heart right in front of me," (Y/n) says with a frown, "with a Chitauri scepter."

"Traumatized my little sister for months," Natasha says walking up and placing a hand on her sister's shoulder.

"You also were very upset," (Y/n) says.

"Aww!" Coulson says, looking at the Black Widow. "You were upset?" he asks.

Natasha sighs and nods.

The four go to sit down at a table and Coulson slides a coaster towards Skye for her water bottle. "Here. Use a coaster."

"I don't even know where we're going," Skye says as the four slides behind the table, (Y/n) sitting in between Skye and Natasha.

"Peru," Coulson replies.

"That's where the 0-8-4 was reported," (Y/n) adds.

"And an 0-8-4 is . . . ?" Skye asks.

"An object of unknown origin," Coulson answers. "Kind of like you."

"Team goes in, determines if it's useful or if it poses a threat," Natasha explains, smiling at the young brunette.

"The last two turned out to be pretty interesting," Coulson states.

"And what were they?" Skye asks, taking a sip of her water.

"A hammer and," Coulson nods to (Y/n), who shrinks lower in her seat.

Natasha joins May in the cockpit as the Bus lands down in a field in Peru.

The group gets into some SHIELD vans as they drive to the sight of the 0-8-4.

"Come on," (Y/n) smiles at Skye.

(Y/n) and Skye follow Fitz and Simmons walk towards the trees.

"I would love to see a capuchin in the wild," Fitz says. "Maybe even a yellow-tailed woolly monkey. You know, um, Peru has thirty-two species of monkey."

"Yeah, and close to two hundred species of snakes," Simmons pipes up. "The shushupe has a fascinating ven - venom," Simmons stuttered as Fitz's case hits one of the trucks. "It's neurotoxic, proteolytic, and hemolytic." Simmons chuckles, and Fitz does too, but more nervously.

"That's fascinating," Fitz says.

"Yeah," Jemma agrees and (Y/n) smiles at Fitz's nervousness. "Oh. No, I'd be much more concerned with earthquakes, mala -" an insect buzzes and lands on Fitz and Jemma smacks it.

"Hey!" Fitz complains.

"Ha, there's no vaccine for dengue fever," Jemma says as the two enter the wood, (Y/n) and Skye walking behind them.

(Y/n) chuckles as she holds back a branch so Skye could walk in front of her.

"Ooh, look at this," Jemma says and (Y/n) nods in appreciation.

Skye stays put as she catches sight of Coulson and Natasha as (Y/n) jogs over to walk with Fitz and Simmons.

"We should warn the people who live around here if the 0-8-4 is dangerous," Skye says, looking between Natasha and Coulson. "They're already dealing with anti-mining rebels and the shining path guerillas. I could post something."

"Remember the panic when that anti-matter meteor splashed down just off the coast of Miami, nearly devoured the city?" Coulson asks, looking up at the temple.

"No," Skye says, exchanging a glance with Natasha.

"Precisely," Coulson turns to the hacker. "Because we kept it quiet and contained."

"So, what am I doing?" Skye asks.

"Well, if it gets out, I might need you to create some kind of diversion," Coulson says, "put the public on the wrong scent."

"So everything that I'm against," Skye says, an eyebrow raised.

"Welcome to SHIELD, kid," Natasha says, patting Skye's shoulder and walking over to stand at May's side.

(Y/n) grins at FitzSimmons as they take a selfie with the temple in the background.

"Good morning, Professor," Coulson greets, stepping up to greet the Professor.

"This is Agent Coulson and I'm Agent Rushman," (Y/n) gestures to Coulson at her side. "We're with SHIELD."

"I understand you've made an interesting discovery," Coulson addresses the Professor.

The Professor sighs, "I-I'm not sure how to explain it. This temple dates back at least five hundred years. It's filled with Pre-Incan artifacts. One of them is impossible."

(Y/n) exchanges a glance with Simmons, "What is it?"

"I'm not sure," the Professor says and (Y/n) nods. "And it looks like it might be dangerous."

"That's what we're here for," Coulson says following the Professor inside.

FitzSimmons watch in amusement as Natasha walks up, clapping a hand on her sister's shoulder - the one that hadn't been shot. "Aww! Look at my baby sister taking charge!"

(Y/n) beams at sister, "Shut it. I'm a Level Eight."

A frown spreads across Natasha's face. "But how's that fair?" she whines.

"I must be better than you," (Y/n) smirks, nudging her sister affectionately before leaving her sister standing dumbfounded as (Y/n) walks into the temple.

Fitz and Simmons exchange a look, before retreating into the temple after the two Level Eight Agents.

"Exactly as we found it," the Professor says, and (Y/n) steps forward to inspect the machine in the wall.

"Who else knows about this?" Coulson questions.

"Just the Ministry," the Professor replies, and (Y/n) steps back as it begins to glow.

Word Count: 1477 words

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my-head-is-an-animal · 3 years ago

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The Linguist

Part 2

Chapter 2 - The Morning After

The next morning you were greeted by a dull ache in your temples, the only godsend was the cool morning breeze that enveloped you as you realised Skye had opened the glass doors again. You turned over and saw the picture of your parents sitting next to you on the bedside table, you could feel that familiar pull in your heart as you remembered the previous night; Phil. You couldn't bear to get emotional again so you wrapped yourself in your quilt and went outside to sit with Skye who had done the same. You both sat for nearly half an hour wrapped in your quilts, trying to battle the pain in your heads.

You glanced over at her, you could see her bloodshot eyes and her messy hair. ‘You've got a beehive on your head.’ She glared at you and you couldn't help but laugh, she eventually joined in.

‘Keep the noise down. Please!’ You heard Trip’s voice from just next door, he was still wearing his obnoxious shirt unbuttoned and you both began howling with laughter. ‘You guys have finally lost it.’ He shook his head and went back inside.

You weren't sure how long the laughter continued for but when you both settled your head began to throb. ‘I don't remember the last time I laughed like that.’ Skye mused and honestly you couldn't remember either, but it felt good.

You both eventually got up and Trip took Skye to the beach with Fitzsimmons, you didn't feel much like going to the beach, so you just sat and watched the ocean thinking about the night before, in your iean shorts and pyjama t shirt. You knew Phil was right, you knew you couldn't kiss him while you were both in the state you were, but you felt like you were missing out on something important.

You had the picture frame in your hands and stared down at it, you wondered what it was that was making your parents laugh in that moment, a joke someone told or a look someone gave. Simple, but such a precious moment.

‘Is that seat taken?’ You heard Phil say from the edge of the deck, he pointed to the chair next to you. You shook your head still feeling the dull ache in your head. Phil still looked just as relaxed as he had done the previous night in his aviators, jeans and white t shirt. He sat down next to you and smiled noticing the photo. ‘How you feeling?’ He asked, you still had your sunglasses on under the shade and squinted at him.

‘I feel like crap.’ You said miserably. ‘You?’

‘I've felt worse.’ He shrugged and looked out at the ocean. ‘Did you enjoy your birthday?’ He asked settling in his chair properly leaning back.

You thought about it and it was probably one of the best birthdays you'd ever had, but you knew where the conversation was heading one way or another, so you took a chance. ‘Could've had a better ending, but I get it.’

Phil looked at you, you could see the pain knit in his eyebrows just above his glasses. ‘You know how much I wanted to, it wouldn't have been the right decision though.’

‘I know.’

You both sat in silence listening to the waves crashing for a few moments, before Phil spoke again.

‘What do we do now?’ He asked exasperated.

‘Talk about how we feel I guess?’ You didn't know what you were supposed to do now, you had been playing this strange game of patience, waiting for the other person to make the next move. You hadn't had a lot of experience with relationships, at least not ones as intense as this and it really wasn't your forte.

‘We've done that already.’ He said still staring out towards the ocean. ‘Maybe I should've kissed you last night?’

‘Maybe. But you didn't… It hasn't changed how I feel though.’ You said, putting the picture frame down on the table to face the ocean. When you turned back, Phil was staring at you. ‘What?’

‘So you meant it?’ He asked, sitting upright.

‘Meant what?’

‘That you're still in love with me?’ You could hear the hope in his voice.

‘Phil, that's never changed. I've always been in love with you. It's just…’ You weren't sure if you really wanted to say what you were about to say, but seeing as you were being honest. ‘Some days are easier than others. Yesterday, it felt easy, when we were in your office talking and when I thought there was a chance to… Today is a little harder, I don't know where I stand today.’ You watched Phil think everything through, he knew exactly what you were saying and it was his turn to say something.

‘I'm not good at relationships.’ He said simply. You were about to say that neither were you, but he continued. ‘I'm not always going to know what you want, I'm not always going to be there when you need me, I don't always say the right things and I don't always know what the next step is, but I know what I want… Right now I want to kiss you, I want you to feel how much I care about you and I want to be with you in every way I can… That's where I stand, I want you. But like I said in the beginning, if you think I'm too old or if there's someone you'd rather be with then that's fine. I just want you to be happy.’ Phil sat facing you with his sunglasses now in his hands. You had no reason to think he was lying, he had that pained look that you couldn't stand. ‘Tell me what you want… You weren't afraid to tell me last night.’

You chuckled a little. He was right, all you wanted at that very moment was to kiss this man that had just given you every piece of his heart and asked you to put it back together again for him.

‘I want you to kiss me.’ You said, you watched a smile form on his face. ‘I don't want to be angry anymore, it's exhausting and I honestly don't have the energy anymore.’ Phil took your hand and kissed it, you span around to face him.

‘It's okay. I understand why you're angry and I'm sorry I hurt you, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I can't bear to see you in pain.’ He said, getting closer to you. He held you tight and kissed your neck and shoulder the same way he had done the night before. You sat in his arms for a while before he kissed your cheek and pulled away. ‘So, what do we do now?’ He asked again, this time with a huge smile on his face.

‘Well, I was going to go for a walk, want to join me?’ You said.

‘Sure.’

‘Okay, let me change and we can go.’ You said getting up, you took the picture frame with you inside the room and went about putting it back on your bedside table. You rummaged in your bag for a set of clean clothes when you touched something cold and metallic, the knife. ‘Phil!’ You called. Phil wandered inside the room with a frown on his face and you waved the knife at him.

‘Where'd you get that?’ He asked examining it further.

‘Birthday present from Skye. It's from our first real mission together in Japan.’ You watched him look over the knife carefully. He smiled and handed it back to you.

‘I remember you getting attached to it.’ He said fondly. You put it back in your bag and took out a clean shirt, you didn't really think about it, you simply took your current top off and went about putting the clean one on.

Two warm hands glided over your hips making you shudder and lean back into Phil's chest, you felt him moan into your neck as he kissed you. ‘I'm sorry.’ He whispered. ‘I couldn't resist.’ You could feel him smiling against your shoulder and trying to regain control of his breathing before pulling himself away, but not before you turned around and pressed your lips to his. It was exactly as you remembered it, warm and tender, hands moving up to your waist, holding you against him. You opened your lips enough for him to slide his tongue against yours, caressing every part of your mouth, rediscovering everything he could. You heard a moan and Phil moved to guide you back towards the bed, but he stopped regaining a little piece of control long enough for you to half laugh against his mouth.

‘Don't ever say sorry for kissing me.’ You said once you managed to pull yourself away long enough to catch your breath. He laughed and gave you another chaste kiss as you put your shirt on finally.

You walked hand in hand on the beach, feeling the cool breeze circle your head and talking first about the assignment and then about more important things like his love of Captain America.

‘I think I was eight when my dad bought me my first card for my collection.’ He said remembering the moment fondly. He smiled down at you through his sun glasses and you continued to walk. ‘What about you?’ He asked. ‘Your dad was a fan, did he pass on his passion?’ You could tell there was a little hope in his voice that you'd say yes.

‘Not sure. I don't think he was around enough to influence my passions.’ It was a sad fact, but you wished you could've had those moments with your father, you had always hoped that if you were to have children one day that they could have a different experience to yours. All the talk of childhoods reminded you of something. ‘Can I ask you a question?’

Phil nodded.

‘You said something about SHIELD born children last night. That I was probably the only one still around?’ You heard Phil sigh, he knew you were going to bring it up again at some point, you just weren't aware he'd hate it so much.

‘There's a reason that SHIELD doesn't allow relationships within its ranks.’ He stopped and invited you to sit down with him and watch the water flow back and forth. Phil had already taken his shoes off and rolled his jeans up, he looked so casual and carefree, you loved that look on him. ‘Did you ever wonder why SHIELD was so hell bent on protecting you? Like it or not, you are the product of two of the top agents this world has ever seen. It's hard for you to appreciate the shear mass of what your parents did, but I promise you that you're on the right track to surpassing those achievements, to really making a difference in the world. But it comes with a price and I doubt anyone has ever really explained this too you before, it makes you a target.’

‘A target?’ You knew your parents had made enemies, but you thought that was what SHIELD was protecting you from.

‘If you thought Novak was bad, you've got a big surprise in store.’ Phil chuckled. ‘This is why I came to you six years ago, this is why your dad trained you when you were so young, we were giving you the best protection we could; you. I hope you can forgive us for taking that part of your childhood away, but your parents knew that if you were even the least bit prepared to fend off an attack then that would be enough for back up to get to you in time. But it's best to avoid things like that altogether… Too many children have died because of us, we think by quitting SHIELD or going to live somewhere remote, away from the world that we can protect them, but we can't. In the end, it comes down to what you can do yourself. I mean you proved that very fact when you were kidnapped the first time.’ You still felt that familiar sting of the knife entering your shoulder blade, it had scarred over now and you hated that it still effected you. ‘If your dad hadn't trained you, do you honestly think you could've lasted that long?’

It was a question you had asked yourself a hundred times before, you never could come up with an answer. You had no idea, you were just glad you were alive and glad that Phil had come for you before you broke.

‘It's a sad fact, that no one can ever survive an interrogation, only live long enough to be rescued or die hoping for something that may never come. It's the best you can hope for.’ You both stared off into the distance, watching the horizon and thinking about everything Phil had told you. You looked down at the cuts in your bare legs still feeling the bite of the barbed wire in them.

‘How many have died?’ You suddenly asked. For some reason you felt you just had to know the exact number, like it meant something more to you than anyone else.

‘Sweetheart-‘

‘How many Phil?’ He knew you weren't going to stop until you got an answer.

‘Hundreds.’ He sighed. ‘All below the age of ten. That’s why SHIELD took a particular interest in you, your parents kept you alive beyond that and we knew you were something different.’

You felt sick to your stomach, to think that not a single child had survived beyond ten years old except you made your heart hurt. Phil put his arm around you and kissed your temple, he could tell what was going through your mind at that moment and knew you just needed to be held. ‘I always thought I'd have children.’ You said pondering. ‘I just thought it would happen one day, that I'd get married to some average guy with an average job and have an average life. I thought that was what they'd want, you know?’

‘I know.’ Phil said. ‘It's not too late though. I told you that saying no was always an option you would have, it still is. You could get a job researching linguistics, or any job you want really, I'm sure Nick has pull in any industry in the world.’

‘It is too late.’ You said. ‘I couldn't just sit at home with my average job while you go out and save the world leaving me for days on end, letting me worry.’

‘I had rather meant that… We probably couldn't work.’ You glared at Phil.

‘Really? You want to go there?’

‘Look, I'm not saying I want you to leave, but you'd be safe at least.’

‘But I wouldn't be happy.’ You argued. ‘I wouldn't have you, and if I don't have either of those things, what's the point?’

Phil smiled and bowed his head a little. ‘I guess you're right.’

You sat for a while longer just listening to the beach sounds, the water, the birds, the chatter from nearby families. ‘You want to head back?’ Phil asked.

‘Sure.’ When you looked at Phil, there was something wrong in his face, you could tell he wasn't quite looking at you and his eyebrows knitted together in a strange way. He'd seen something. You didn't ask questions, you just got up and walked back with him, you took a different route through the town, you both took a moment to put your shoes back on.

‘Don't suppose you brought that knife with you?’ He said quietly as he bent down to tie his shoe.

‘No.’ You said just as quietly. Phil nodded and took your hand as you walked quickly around the corner and down the road. ‘Wanna clue me in?’ You said subtly.

‘Two men on our six, armed. Think they were at the restaurant last night as well.’ Phil said just as subtly.

‘Kiss me.’ You said.

‘What?!’

‘Let me get a look, kiss me.’ You clarified. Without hesitation, Phil turned and kissed you. You weren't really concentrated on the kiss, more on the two men that walked passed, staring at you and Phil who was getting a little too into it, slipping his hand under your top to feel your smooth skin on your back. The men walked passed and went into a nearby shop. ‘Come on.’ You took Phil's hand and ran back the way you'd come and ducked into an alleyway.

You stood flat against the wall a little out of breath and listened as the two men came running after you, they ran straight past you and looked around at the end of the road. You carefully crouched down and took quick pictures of the two men while they couldn't see you. Once you had done it and put your phone away, Phil grabbed you and pushed you against the wall attacking your mouth again. He moaned into you and squeezed your hips gently. ‘I wasn't finished.’ He whispered against you. He kissed all down your jaw and your neck drinking all of you in, sending delicious shivers down your body, pushing your hips into his, needing more contact, more Phil.

Phil pulled away a little breathing heavily, he stroked your cheek and smiled giving you one more kiss and stepping away completely, you could feel yourself grinning stupidly and biting down on your lip. Phil couldn't take his eyes off of it, apparently he rather enjoyed it because that dark look came back into his eyes. He gently pulled your lip away and gave you another more desperate kiss. ‘We should get back to the hotel.’ He said in an annoyed tone, remembering why you were in the alleyway in the first place.

‘Yeah, we should.’ You said sadly, Phil did a quick of the road and you rushed back to the hotel still hand in hand.

You had sent a text ahead to Skye to run facial recognition on the two men for when you got back. By the time you'd gotten there, the results were in and May and Trip were already planning an op.

‘Jorge Rodriguez and Aurelio Michaels.’ Skye said as you both entered your hotel room. Phil had already begun putting body armour on. ‘Both wanted on murder charges, assault, arson, theft, you name it they did it.’ Skye kept typing away getting more information on them. You quickly began gearing up to head out.

‘Known associates?’ Phil asked handing you a side arm.

‘Yeah,’ Skye said and span the laptop around to show a picture of a familiar face. ‘The only one that matters Jackson Bennett. The contact.’

Everyone turned to Phil for their orders. Trip and May were ready to head out as soon as he gave the word and you weren't far behind. You dove into your bag and took out the knife Skye had given you. Fitzsimmons were sitting on the bed and both gave you a look. You shrugged and strapped the knife to your thigh.

‘Get a message to Agent Willis, the contact is on her list, we’re just passing through.’ Phil said taking his armour off, but loading his side arm and strapping it to his waist, everyone knew what was coming and began making changes to their uniform. ‘The four of us will do a quick sweep in teams of two over the hotel and surrounding area. Trip, May you take the immediate area outside the hotel, we’ll take the hotel. They've already seen us together and we don't know what they're after. Keep it subtle and stay on comms at all times, no excuses. Everyone clear?’

‘What do we do?’ Fitz said from the bed.

‘You've both been through basic training, you can shoot a gun if you have to. Skye will be here, the only thing you have to do is stay calm and stay quiet, but be ready.’ Phil told them, Fitz stood up and locked the balcony doors and closed the blinds before getting back on the bed. You just watched and handed him your side arm.

‘It's loaded, safety's on.’ You said briefly, Fitz nodded to you while Jemma gave a worried look. ‘You shouldn't have to use it, we’ll be back in no time at all and Skye's here to look after you.’ You tried to comfort them both, but you knew how scary it could be to not know who your enemy was.

Phil handed you an earpiece as everyone geared up in civvies to head out. May and Trip headed first and tested the comms. You quickly checked everything was secure on your person and headed out with Phil. You started on the ground floor, casually walking through the hotel holding Phil's hand like you had done before.

‘Agent Willis is on the line, she's been briefed.’ Skye came through over comms.

‘Put her through.’ Phil commanded as you wandered up the stairs first to the first floor.

‘Agent Coulson, like I told your hacker, I don't know why Mr Bennett is following you. He is normally very cooperative.’ The Frenchwoman said annoyed at being called so late.

‘What do you know about Rodriguez and Michaels?’ Phil was just as impatient.

‘Nothing. I do not know who those men are. Possibly security for Mr Bennett?’ She offered.

‘It would've come up in our search.’ Skye cut in. You continued turning corners and assessing each corridor searching for anything out of the ordinary. Nothing so far.

‘Then are you sure Mr Bennett is involved? These men sound like they could work for anyone.’ She was still defending her contact.

‘It's one hell of a coincidence if it's nothing to do with Bennett then.’ You found yourself saying. You looked at Phil in apology, he just rolled his eyes in mild annoyance.

You quickly got up to the second floor, just two to go and then the roof. ‘Just let us know if anything comes up Willis.’ Phil said.

There was a click on the comms. ‘She's gone.’ Skye said.

‘Nothing out here so far.’ May said. You turned another corner and looked back to Phil before setting off again.

‘Nothing here either.’ You came back with. ‘Everything seems normal, Skye how you doing down there?’ There was a faint pause.

‘We’re good, A okay down here boss lady.’ Skye said. You and Phil looked at each other, you knew that was a code phrase. Something was wrong.

‘Okay, maintain check in contact every five minutes, if we don't hear from you for one of those check ins we’ll come for you, we’ll be back soon.’ Phil said in warning to whoever else was there, you waited for the response.

‘Understood.’ Skye said, you could hear the tightness in her voice, like someone had a knife to her throat, the sound was distorted. Both you and Phil took your earpieces out and put them in your pockets, you set your watch to go off every four and a half minutes through a tiny vibration that couldn't be heard.

‘Plan?’ You asked. Phil rubbed his jaw and paced a little.

‘May and Trip will have heard all of that, they'll know what the situation is.’ He said, thinking out loud. ‘We can't contact them over comms or our phones, it'll come up on Skye's laptop and whoever’s down there will know what we’re up to. We need to get a look into that room though.’

There was the sound of running coming from the stairs, you both quickly ducked into another corridor just off of the one you were in and watched as Trip and May turned the corner, everyone pointing their guns at each other, stopping before any triggers were pulled. A mutual sigh was let out and the side arms went away again.

‘We figured you'd be coming up with a plan.’ May said.

‘Trying to.’ You replied.

Phil began pacing again. ‘How do we get a look into the room?’ He asked out loud. Everyone thought for a moment.

‘Doesn't Skye's laptop have a camera on it?’ Trip asked. You nodded realising where he was going. ‘Can't we just hack into it?’

‘Yeah, except our hacker is in the one place we don't want her to be.’ You reminded him.

‘The check in,’ Trip offered. ‘One of us could somehow get it across to her that that's what we want to do and she can tell us what to do?’

‘No ones that stupid Trip.’ You argued.

‘I think it's worth a try.’ May cut in. ‘Coulson? What do you think?’

Phil thought for a moment. ‘Does anyone else feel like we've done this before? Maybe not this exactly, but something similar?’

There was a silence that washed over the group, until it hit you what he talking about. ‘Madrid.’ You said.

‘Yeah, Skye had to talk you through hacking into a vault on an open channel right?’ Phil said, how did he remember that case? He wasn't even on it, it was just you, Skye and May. ‘You can use the same code words for this can't you?’ He asked.

‘Would that even work the same?’ Trip asked.

‘More than likely. The op was over before it started.’ May assured him. ‘I don't know about using the exact code phrases though.’ She raised an eyebrow at you as you remembered the code phrases used.

‘Why not?’ Phil asked.

There was a moment of awkward silence as May stood aside to let you explain. ‘It wasn't exactly appropriate radio conversation, that's how we got away with it. No one took a second listen when they thought it was just cheap gossip.’

‘You were talking about me.’ Phil realised. He took another moment to think. ‘We need to see what's in that room, just do it. The five minutes are nearly up.’ You could tell Phil was angry behind his mask, but the mission came first and to be honest, it was nothing compared to the rage he'd have if anyone was hurt down there. Right on cue your watch began vibrating and you put your earpiece back in and took out your phone waiting for Skye to make contact.

Everyone took their earpieces out and went about listening for any abnormalities.

‘How’s everyone doing out there?’ Skye's voice came, she was severely pissed off and you could hear it.

‘Trip and I are good. Just checking out a few alleys.’ May said.

‘All good in the hood.’ Trip added.

‘Yeah Phil and I are good too, his earpiece ran out of battery life, he's just checking something out.’ You paused for a moment. ‘How about you? Any sign of anything down there?’ There was a faint pause.

‘Nothing boss lady. All is a okay down here.’ Skye came back. You quickly thought about what to say next.

‘Hey listen, can I get a quick one while Phil's not listening?’ You said hoping she'd take the bait. There was another small pause.

‘Yeah, but be quick if he's coming back soon.’ You could hear the tension rise in her voice. This would be very risky.

‘Well, you know how I told you we talked last night and it got intense, I had to walk away?’

Another pause.

‘Yeah, I remember… You were crying your eyes out.’ She said, you gave the thumbs up to everyone. She was on board.

‘I felt like he was just telling me he didn't ever love me, what if he really meant it?’ You could feel the thick tension between you and Phil and the risky air between you and Skye, honestly it was suffocating.

‘I hear ya baby girl, but you just gotta keep trying, you gotta try and turn yourself into one of those binge talker couples and work through it, it's not easy these days but it'll get better I promise.’ You quickly picked out the code words and phrases and made a list on Phil's phone of what they were.

‘I guess so. Do you not think we’ll run ourselves round in circles though? It's the same conversation over and over again. Nothing changes.’ You said trying desperately not to look at Phil and concentrate on what was being said.

‘It will change and that's when you need to jump on it, it'll be like the fastest roller-coaster in the world and you’ll be in the front seat feeling like it'll crash any second and your world will get turned upside down. Like I said it won't be easy, you might have to take two or three tries, but as long as you have trust and some good timing you'll be fine.’ Again you jotted down the codes and tried to think about what you were missing.

‘Yeah, that makes sense I guess, trust does seem to be our main problem right now… It's so much easier when I don't have to talk to him face to face though, texting is usually when I get my honest words out you know?’ You hoped that she would get all that.

‘Like I said before trust is the biggest problem you'll have in a relationship. As for your talking problem, I suggest adding a little old school romance into the mix and go email just like that movie You've Got Mail… Anyway baby girl, I got some searches to do, talk later.’ Skye said with a little more tension in her voice. She was being forced off.

‘Yeah Phil's on his way back just now. Talk later.’ You said, thinking hard. You heard a click, took your ear piece out and began looking through the info collected. There was thick silence surrounding the group.

‘Did you get it?’ Trip asked hoping to break the awkwardness. You nodded your head.

‘Yeah got it all, she said that there shouldn't be any firewalls and that she's going to disable what she can, but it'll be pretty risky on her end.’

Trip raised his eyebrows at you. ‘And you wonder why us men can't understand you women folk.’ He said checking out the hallway. You just continued shifting through the info trying to piece together what you could. You saw May look between you and Phil before she finally spoke.

‘Trip and I will check out the rest of the hotel.’ She said, she didn't get a response and you knew it was because Phil was angry. May and Trip wandered off before Phil let his feelings known.

‘What info did you get?’ He asked with a tone laced in rage. You still couldn't bear to look at him.

‘The code words were ‘eyes out’ means she currently isn't using the webcam program.’ You said still trying to shift through, making sure you didn't miss anything. ‘I think it needs to be opened for us to access it. The next one was ‘baby girl’ and ‘binge talker couples’ the password is ‘woman chat’ twice. After that she told us that she'd added extra security on her laptop by saying that it wasn't easy but it'll get better, meaning she'll try to disable what she can, but again it'll be pretty risky.’

‘I don't suppose she told us anything about who else was in the room?’ Phil asked, his rage cooling slightly.

‘Yeah at the end she told us about the searches, it's Rodriguez and Michaels, no one else.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘If there was someone else there, she would've said something like, ‘searches and related stuff’ indicating that Bennett was there as well. But she didn't… The next thing was possible traps that would set off any alarms, she said there was a program to stop hackers breaking in but a possible opening that we’d have to identify and type in the password, ‘monster Gregor Novak’ she said it might take a couple tries, but no more than three before we will to come up with a new plan as the program was designed to change with intrusion.’

‘Okay, what now?’ Phil folded his arms and for the first time you looked at him.

‘Just need to get the green light from Skye that she's disabled everything on her end, before I go ahead with it.’ You held up your phone showing Phil that you'd successfully hacked the program and were ready to go online. You watched his face remain unimpressed. You knew exactly why he was unhappy with you. ‘Look, it was five months ago, half of what I said I didn't mean, I was just getting information for the vault.’

Phil just looked at you unconvinced. ‘We’ll talk about this later; at length.’ He added. You felt your watch vibrate again for the next check in and for the first time you knew what it was like to fear Phil Coulson. He had a look that said he was ready to punch you at any given moment.

You got the green light from Skye and could finally see what was going on in the room. May and Trip soon returned and gave the all clear. You could see that one of the glass doors was smashed to pieces, possible entry point, though by the look of Fitz’s face, he tried to get a shot in and paid the price for it. Jemma was terrified, but Skye seemed to be doing a lot of talking constantly, maybe trying to keep them distracted while rescue came.

You and Trip took the inside entrance, while May and Phil went around to the broken glass door, you waited for the signal. Trip had a fire extinguisher ready to break open the door, from what you could hear one of the men was just on the opposite side of that door. You knew that either Phil or May would try to take him down so that you could enter, so you a Trip stood either side of the door frame to allow for it.

You heard a shot go off and you hesitated for a second to enter, which was a second too long for a bullet not to be tearing through the door between you. Trip thrust the extinguisher into the door handle and you took your gun out to enter, another shot went off, Trip took down Michaels from behind and held a gun to the back of his head while May had her foot on Rodriguez’ neck pinning him to the floor. Phil wiped away a trickle of blood from his mouth and began untying Skye, you immediately went over to Fitzsimmons and checked them for any serious injuries, nothing as far as you could see. You breathed a sigh of relief.

‘Are you okay?’ Jemma asked you, trying to get a look at your arm. When you looked at it, you noticed that there was a cut across it, where a bullet had torn through your flesh.

‘Yeah, I'm good. It's not bad.’ You assured her, she turned her attention back to Fitz who had blood trailing down from his head. He'd been hit hard for whatever he had tried to do with the gun.

You had all gone back to the bus and put the two mercenaries in interrogation rooms, Phil and May had taken the lead on the interrogations and Trip was assisting Jemma in stitching up Fitz and Skye was doing her best to clean up your cut.

‘So… Madrid?’ She asked.

‘Funny enough Phil was the one who brought it up.’ You responded, flinching at the sting in your arm.

‘Sorry.’ Skye said trying a different approach. ‘He wasn't even handling that mission, how did he know?’

‘Guess he does actually read the reports we hand in. Who'd have thought right?’ You chuckled.

The was a small silence between you.

‘At least it was cleaner than last time.’ Skye chuckled trying to end the awkward silence.

‘Yeah, I tried to keep it vague.’ You admitted. ‘Especially as he was standing right there, breathing down my neck.’

‘How's it going with you two anyway?’

You half shrugged. ‘It was okay for a while and then I needed to hack into your computer. He wasn't happy.’

‘Well, I hope it gets better. You're a much better agent when you're happy.’ Skye took out a needle and thread and took a deep breath, before changing her mind and getting the glue.

‘Good idea.’ You chuckled. You watched as Skye confidently applied the glue to your wound. ‘Thanks for the birthday by the way.’

‘Hey, no problem.’ She put the glue down and inspected her work. ‘It's good to have a night to relax once in a blue moon.’

‘Yeah.’ You jumped down from the bench and picked up your hoodie. ‘How's the leg?’ You asked.

‘Well, it would've been much better if tweedle dum hadn't stood on it when they got into the room.’ Skye said pissed off. You just laughed and both began to leave the medical bay casually glancing at a struggling Fitz.

Skye sat down with her laptop and began working. Your legs were still sore from the barbed wire so you stood against the platform and continued your work for the linguistics department while you waited for the verdict from Phil and May.

Chapter List

#Phil Coulson x Reader

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mystical-flute · 4 years ago

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Love Persevered

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It's not S.W.O.R.D that ends up with Vision's body, it's S.H.I.E.L.D, and a miracle happens when Wanda goes to collect his body.

Wanda Maximoff had heard of S.H.I.E.L.D. Of course she had - she had heard many, many things about them during her time with HYDRA. How evil they were, for standing in the way of greatness, of glory...

When she’d heard about the real S.H.I.E.L.D from Clint and Natasha, she was almost disappointed she never got the chance to work with them. Nick Fury and Phil Coulson sounded like better people than the monsters that had tortured her and Pietro and brainwashed them into doing their bidding.

She shuddered a little, striding into S.H.I.E.L.D’s headquarters. It was smaller than she would have anticipated an organization of its caliber being, but Wanda supposed, after all the damage that had been caused after the Blip and other issues leading up to it, she should be grateful the organization existed at all.

What she was worried about was why they were the ones that had Vision’s body. Yes, he had been listed on the Wall of Heroes, and she was very grateful for it, but why hadn’t he been buried? Why hadn’t he gotten what Tony Stark had?

It was up to her to give it to him.

“Can I help you?”

“I’m Wanda Maximoff. I’m here for Vision’s - I - I’m here for Vis - ” she’d tried to steal her nerves, tried to come to grips with what she was asking for, but the words just wouldn’t come out. “Please. I know he’s here.”

The woman behind the desk gave her a sad, understanding smile as she picked up the phone. “Director, Wanda Maximoff is here.” A pause. “Yes sir,” she put the phone back down and turned back to Wanda. “Director Mackenzie will be waiting for you on the third floor at the end of the hall. Just use those doors. Elevator is on your right.”

Wanda blinked in surprise. It would be that easy? Really? Normally with government agencies there was a host of red tape she needed to cut through. But maybe S.H.I.E.L.D understood she wasn’t here to fight, or even talk. She was just here to give Vision the goodbye he deserved.

“Thank you,” she managed to choke out, before rushing through the doors and up to the third floor as directed.

“Hello Miss Maximoff. I’m Director Alphonso Mackenzie. Welcome to S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“Wanda, and thank you. Can I see him?”

“Of course, right this way.”

He pushed the door behind him open, allowing Wanda to step through into what she could only describe as a lab. On a table, covered in a white sheet, was what she assumed was Vision. However, she was more concerned with the people that were standing nearby, looking at records and computer screens.

“Who are they?” she heard herself ask sharply.

“Fitz,” the one woman said, pointing at the man next to her.

“Simmons,” the man said, pointing at the woman who had first spoken.

The second woman rolled her eyes, holding out her hand. “I’m Daisy.”

Wanda shook it suspiciously. “What were you doing with Vision?”

“We… were hoping to give you some options, Wanda,” Mack began. “S.H.I.E.L.D has been able to create androids called Life-Model Decoys, or LMD’s. They’re essentially reconstructions of people. Originally, they were intended to be used as shields to protect our agents, but there were a couple of extenuating circumstances.”

Wanda furrowed her brow. “And that means…?”

“We created decoys to… essentially resurrect the dead just… not in their original bodies,” Fitz said. “Jemma, Daisy, and I were making a map of Vision, in case you decided you wanted one of him.”

Wanda felt her heart stop. She must have been dreaming, right?

“You would… bring him back?” she choked out over the lump in her throat. God, she did not want to hope, but it was so, so tempting. “What - what’s the catch?”

“There is no catch,” Simmons answered this time. “I swear on my cottage in Perthshire.”

“Why do you want to help me?” Wanda had done so many terrible things to so many people. Why would a government organization want to help her now?

“Because S.H.I.E.L.D believes in helping people, and that no one should be alone. But at the end of the day, this decision is up to you,” Daisy said. “As his next of kin, this decision is yours alone.”

She could have him back.

Wanda had not dared to hope for such a thing. But she could have him back. These people - a group that Clint and Natasha trusted - were giving her a second chance she wasn’t sure she deserved.

Still, she looked suspiciously at the scientists in front of her. “Would he be the same Vision I fell in love with?” she asked.

“We can replicate his personality and his appearance, yes. He would no longer be considered a synthezoid, however. He would be an android. We’ve also never created an LMD of a synthezoid, so we don’t know for sure if he’d still have his powers, but… otherwise, he would act and look just the same as you knew him,” Fitz confirmed. “He will have all of his memories of you as well.”

Wanda was shaking now, and her knees buckled. If Mack hadn’t been right next to her, she knew she would have fully collapsed to the black tiles below her.

“Do it,” she gasped, nodding once. “Please. Bring him back to me.”

“It will take a few days,” Mack said, helping to steady her. “You’re welcome to stay here if you don’t have a hotel or anything else.”

The dam broke, tears racing down her cheeks. “Thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me.” She rubbed her eyes. “Can I have a minute alone with him before you start?”

“Of course.”

The scientists and director stepped out of the room, the door clicking shut softly behind them.

She rubbed her eye against the sleeve of her sweater again, swallowing back a wave of nausea as she peeled the sheet back.

He looked as she remembered. That was good. Part of her had been worried that any government agency would dissect Vision, or worse - try to turn him on their side, but it seemed S.H.I.E.L.D wasn’t like the others.

She was so glad he’d ended up in their hands.

“I’m sorry there wasn’t any other way…” she whispered, hovering a shaking hand over where the Mind Stone should have been. “I can’t feel - ”

Wait.

Wanda paused, frozen over Vision’s form.

She felt something. It was faint, so very, very faint, but it was there.

It was him.

“Vision?” her voice cracked. “Vision, can you hear me?”

If he could, he didn’t respond, but that little flicker of feeling meant that… maybe this body could be saved.

“Director!” she called.

Mack was in the room in a second. “Wanda? What’s the matter?”

“I - I think Vision is still alive.” It was a sentence she didn’t think she would say after the battle with Thanos.

“Tremors! Fitzsimmons! We may be on a resuscitation job instead of an LMD job!”

The scientists rushed into the room, their eyes wide as they rushed to the computer and monitors.

“My God,” Simmons murmured, turning to Wanda. “Did you… happen to use your magic at all while you were alone?”

Wanda swallowed thickly. “I… yeah, a little bit. It’s something I used to do with him.”

“We registered a trace amount of energy when we brought him in, but we couldn’t place where it came from. Only that it was partially found in space. That same energy was picked up by our computer when you were in here. You were the one to originally - ”

“Yes, I was,” Wanda interrupted, not wanting the word spoken. “What does that mean?”

“It means Simmons and I can repair Vision’s body, and you can repair his mind,” Fitz concluded. “Some of the more… mechanical pieces of him began to deteriorate over the last five years. I can upgrade that, but we’ll need your energy to… bring him back online.”

“I - I can’t - that’s not how - ”

“Wanda,” Daisy said firmly, and Wanda turned to her with wide eyes. “I know how you feel. You don’t feel strong enough, or powerful enough, right?”

Wanda nodded a little.

“My sister thought the same. She has powers too - so do I. She was asked to do something she never thought possible with her gifts.”

“What’s that?”

“Bring me back to life.”

Wanda thought the breath was knocked out of her as she stared at the agent in front of her. “You - you died too? And - and you were brought back?”

Daisy nodded. “My sister and I are known as Inhumans. Kora has energy manipulation. She managed to manipulate my life energy after I was - literally - floating in space without any protection. You said you felt a flicker of Vision?”

“Yes.”

“Then you need to focus on that feeling and fight like hell to bring him back.”

Wanda took a deep breath, all of it overwhelming. She’d thought she would be coming in here to claim VIsion’s corpse and take him to be buried. Now here she was… potentially bringing him back. Small as it was, she knew she couldn’t turn it down, so she nodded.

“Okay. I’m ready.”

“Fitz and I will begin the repairs right away,” Simmons said, giving Wanda a kind smile. “You can wait in the hallway. We’ll let you know when we’re ready for your powers.”

“I’ll wait with her,” Daisy offered, leading her back out into the hallway.

“I’ll leave you all too it. Call me if there’s an emergency,” Mack said. “It was nice to meet you, Wanda.”

Wanda nodded, sitting on a bench with Daisy. Was this what it was like when someone was in a hospital waiting room, waiting for news about their loved one’s surgery? That must have been what this felt like.

There was a comfortable silence between her and Daisy, as Daisy quietly tapped on her phone and the muffled sounds of machinery whirred behind the lab doors.

“What was it like?” she choked out, wanting an escape from the sounds.

Daisy looked at her in surprise. “What?”

“Your… dying. What was it like?”

“Oh.” Daisy paused, slipping her phone into her pocket before she leaned back on the bench. “Well… we were fighting this guy named Malick. He had inhuman powers like my sister and I, and he managed to pin me against this… energy thing. We planned for this. For my to - to sacrifice myself. So I managed to grab him, look him right in the eye, and just let out the strongest attack I could. The last thing I remember was everything exploding around me… and then it went dark. Empty… until Kora brought me back.”

“Is that what Vision’s feeling now? Empty?” she whispered. “Has he felt this for five years?”

“It’s hard to say. But I know you shouldn’t dwell on it, Wanda. Just focus on him. On your future.”

“Westview…” she said softly, a sad smile on her face. “Vision bought a plot of land. We were supposed to build a house there. ‘To grow old in’.”

Daisy smiled. “I think that sounds sweet. Hold on to that. Focus on that when you’re doing your magic, or whatever it is.”

Wanda nodded, her hands shaking. “I can’t believe it’s real. Now that I actually have time to think - I was afraid I was going to be alone forever. The other Avengers went home to their families but I - I don’t have anyone. I thought I was coming in here to retrieve a corpse… and now I might be walking out of here with the man I love.”

“You will be. Fitz and Simmons are the smartest people I know. They will work until their fingers fall off to bring Vision back to you.”

“She’s right about that. They’re the ones who brought me back.” This voice was new, and Wanda jumped slightly as she turned to it.

“A.C! I didn’t know you were coming in today. How was Miami?” Daisy asked.

“Humid. Wasn’t so easy on my circuitry,” the man replied, glancing over at Wanda. “You must be Wanda Maximoff. I’m Phil Coulson.”

She blinked, rising to her feet. “Clint and Natasha told me you were dead.”

“I am. Well - my body is. I’m an LMD. Did they explain to you what your option was with Vision?” Coulson asked.

“They did but… I think we can bring him back, just as he is. Your associates are repairing his body now.”

Coulson’s eyes widened. “Oh - well, that’s surprising. But good. We weren’t sure, which is why S.H.I.E.L.D offered you an LMD of him.”

“It’s very appreciated, Agent Coulson.” Wanda picked at the hem of her sleeve. “Do they know you’re alive?”

“Who?”

“Clint, Thor or Bruce. They were part of the original Avengers, right? Do they know about your… new form?”

Coulson hesitated. “No. I was kept in the shadows, and then it’s been a little nuts the last five years.”

She pressed her lips together. “I think you should tell them. I mean, the rules are being bent all over the place now, right? They would be happy to know your consciousness is still alive. Clint especially. He - he told me he still has regrets over what happened with Loki.”

A look of guilt crossed Coulson’s face. “I see. I’ll contact them, then. Thank you for letting me know. Do you mind if I wait with you and Daisy?”

She shook her head. “Maybe you can tell me about what Clint and Natasha were like when they worked here.”

Coulson laughed. “Oh, I have a few stories about that.”

It was hours later before Simmons poked her head out of the lab. “You can come in now, Wanda.”

Vision was still purple and lifeless, but his skull looked good as new. She could see the reinforcements that had been made to the non-organic parts of his body too, and smiled in relief.

Now came the tricky part.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Fitz said, a tablet in his hand.

Wanda nodded, stepping up to VIsion. She placed her hand over his head where the stone should have been and focused on everything she loved about him. About the future they’d tried to build. About the future they would build, when he came back to her.

“I can feel you, Vision,” she whispered. “Please… come back.”

She watched as the energy in her hand suddenly turned yellow - the Mind Stone! - and poured into Vision’s skull. The color began to return to him, and finally, those blue eyes opened.

“Wanda?” he asked.

“Vision?”

He sat up, holding his head. “What happened? Where’s Thanos? Are we still in Wakanda?”

“Thanos is gone. We’re safe now. We’re at S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters,” she explained.

“S.H.I.E.L.D. Yes, I recall stories about them.” He paused, data downloading in his mind. “Ah, yes, I see. And you took custody of my body because of my connection to the Avengers?”

“That’s correct. Agent Coulson here was one of the founding members of the Avengers initiative,” Daisy explained.

“And you died, but apparently returned as well. It is comforting to know I’m not the only person to return from death,” Vision said.

“Everything seems to be stable with you, Vision. How are you feeling?”

Vision hopped off the table, testing a few of his abilities quickly. “I feel brand new. Thank you Dr. Simmons.”

“Then I clear you for discharge,” Simmons smiled, holding out a card. “If you need anything, S.H.I.E.L.D will be at your call.”

Wanda leaned against Vision. “Thank you for being so kind… for doing all of this for me.”

“You’re welcome,” Daisy said. “Good luck in Westview.”

“I quite liked them,” Vision said as they got into her car. “Did you know Agent Coulson used to have hair?”

Wanda chuckled softly, switching the car on and pulling out onto the busy street. “It’s not hard to imagine. Human men go bald sometimes. I guess Coulson just got unlucky genes.”

“What do you suppose I would look like bald? As a human, I mean. I know I’m… quite bald in this form.” He patted his own head for emphasis.

“I don’t know. But I think we have all the time in the world to find out.”

Vision smiled. “Yes, we do. Westview awaits.”

They drove off into the sunset, and the promise of tomorrow.

#wandavision #agents of shield #wanda maximoff #vision #daisy johnson #leopold fitz #jemma simmons #alphonso mackenzie #phil coulson #fanfiction

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daisylincs · 4 years ago

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It's time to see what I can do! To test the limits and break through// no right no wrong no rules for meee// I'm freeeeeeeeee (and i was glad lincoln died)

*silence*

*utter, shocked silence*

Well, Birdie, I only have one thing to say to you --

Why Lincoln Campbell Shouldn't Have Died: A Small Essay By Lily [Redacted]

#1. It’s Lazy. There was all this fuss about how “heart-breaking” Lincoln’s death was, and how it was the most shocking choice, and I’m just like... really? Was it? Because frustrating as it is to me, it’s true that Lincoln didn’t have any significant relationships on the show aside from his with Daisy, and he also didn’t have the time/the writers didn’t invest the time to make him a character the audience could become really close to.

And I don’t see how that’s a shocking choice at all? That’s just taking the easy way out of things. If they had really wanted to make a heart-breaking death, it would have been so much worse to choose literally anyone of the OG team.

Or, heaven forbid, not to make anyone die at all!! (Yes, I hate the Fallen Agent arc. Yes, that’s a conversation for another day.) But think about it: it would have been way more original, way more shocking, to have Lincoln not die, or find a super original/Fitzsimmons-esque way to get past the vision. It could’ve been way more shocking and ultimately satisfying if the whole team had worked together to avoid someone dying, and succeeded in avoiding that. It would have made excellent bonding.

And it wouldn’t have been lazy, because Lincoln staying alive would force him and Daisy to have some tough conversations, i.e. Hive and SHIELD and what’s next. It would also have meant an equal amount of tricky conversations with the rest of the team - especially surrounding the whole Hive debacle and methods used during it (*coughs in murder vests*). It would’ve actually been much harder than just having Lincoln die... and isn’t that what good storytelling is supposed to do? Make the harder choice for an ultimately far more satisfying resolution?

Because choosing Lincoln to die makes it feel like that was his only purpose on the show, and I can’t help but rage against that. I know that’s how a lot of people actually do see Lincoln, and it just makes me so furious, because that’s actually such a disservice to his character?? He was so much more than just Daisy’s doomed boyfriend, and he could have been even more. Which brings me to my next point -

#2. Wasted Opportunities. I’ll always believe that one of the biggest missed opportunities on the show was that we never got to see Lincoln properly bond with anyone on the team - it was like the writers started, but then decided he was going to die, and then went all, oh, RIP that. Which, honestly, is stupid - because they created this amazing character that had so much potential, and then decided to drop it just like that.

And I mean, dammit!! Aside from Daisy, Lincoln had prime opportunities to bond with at least five other characters on the team - May, Coulson, Jemma, Fitz, and Mack, and that’s not even starting on the other Secret Warriors.

He had a little bit of bonding with May when Lash/Andrew was still a thing - but then, whoops-a-daisy, unequivocally dropped. And like... Lincoln and May could’ve been such a good friendship?? Imagine May initially terrifying the living daylights out of Lincoln, but slowly seeing that he’s not actually that different to Daisy, and he makes her happy? And maybe inviting him to t’ai chi with her, to help control her powers? And him in turn helping give her some closure over Katya Belyakov/telling her that she really did make the only choice? They could’ve developed a mother/son bond just as beautiful as Daisy’s, if AoS had only tried.

Then there’s Coulson. Daisy’s (basically) dad. We got to see a little bit of this, especially in the 3x14-15 era, but I would have loved to see even more of Coulson not-so-subtly threatening Lincoln, but grudgingly coming to accept him as a good agent (and, though he’d never admit it, kinda liking the guy.) Ugh, it could have been so funny and GOOD!!

Fitz and Jemma, to do them in a package deal, could also have been a GREAT BroTP with Lincoln if they had only actually developed it. I would have loved to see a) FitzSimmons initially distrusting Lincoln and being like “if you hurt Daisy...” and then eventually growing to bond with him over science and, well, adoring Daisy, b) a Lincoln-and-Simmons-specific friendship starting after Maveth, for example, Jemma can’t really be around her friends because they keep pitying her and trying to help and she doesn’t want that, so here’s someone new who’s nice and can also distract her with a common interest, and finally c) Lincoln and Fitz bonding over, oh, Daisy, and being ridiculously in love. Just. C’mon. It could’ve been WONDERFUL - and, just think about it, the picture of a Fitzsimmons-and-Lincoln triple alliance out-science-ing Daisy. FAB.

And Mack!! Someone who’s basically Daisy’s older brother, and, I do believe, another one for the Don’t-Hurt-Daisy pile. But Mack’s also very just, and an excellent judge of character, plus he was literally listening in on their first kiss, lmfao. So I think he’d be that “ugh AGAIN you two stop *eye roll*” big brother, but secretly be very happy for them. (I would’ve LOVED to see it, ahhhh.)

Then, of course, the Secret Warriors!! If anyone would listen, I could R A G E for days about how we only had one episode with the Secret Warriors, and that only barely before it all blew apart. But what snippets we had in that one episode!! Lincoln comforting Joey when he gets stressed before a mission. That’s canon. Now imagine Lincoln learning Spanish for both him and Elena (and so the three of them can fuck with Daisy.) And him encouraging them to follow Spanish traditions, because he picked up a lot of “traditions are important” culture from Afterlife. And, of course, them all going to Pride together to support Joey...

My point is just, there is so much MORE AoS could have done with Lincoln’s character, but especially his bonds with the other main cast. Instead of highlighting his relationship with Daisy, I would’ve preferred a lot more focus on his bonds with the rest of the gang. Because, most simply put, he’s a nice guy and loves Daisy - but that’s not all he is, and also, that love for Daisy would mean he WOULD go out of his way to bond with her family. (Point made.)

#3. It Conflicts With The S5 Time Paradox. During the Fallen Agent arc, all we’re hearing about is how time is fixed, and a death is inevitable. And then in season 5, we have the same thing with the time loop... except, they manage to break it then. We’re literally told, “there are many different futures.” And, cool. But, uh... that’s exactly what you guys didn’t say in season 3!!

Because someone saw a death, a death had to happen. My question is just: if the loop could have been broken in s5, why couldn’t the death have been avoided in s3?? It wouldn’t even have been that hard to make it still fit with the vision - Daisy can quake the controls to destroy them, then Lincoln pulls her out of the quinjet, but she leaves the jacket behind. Hive dies, but no-one else - and the best part is, that even still fulfils the original vision, because someone did die. Hive. Click boom.

And if I can figure that out, then, come on, surely AoS could have done so much better!! It just... really frustrates me, hrrrg.

#4. It Becomes A Plot Point To Hurt Daisy. We all like to joke about how much AoS hurts Daisy, but... this is extreme?? Like?? She only just went through probably the biggest trauma of her life, being freaking possessed, and now you want to make her lose someone she loves too? Cruel.

The only real reason the Fallen Agent arc ever existed was, let’s be real, to force Daisy into that spiral of hurt and depression. And, like... she already had more than enough trauma just from Hive. Nobody would have blamed her for running away then - in fact, how very Daisy it would have been, leaving before she could hurt anyone else she loved.

And then, of course, we could have had Lincoln and the team working together to find her and bring her back, and, heyo, bonding!! It could also have been such a good point for Staticquake’s relationship, what with Lincoln helping Daisy recover after depression/withdrawal, because who better suited, and Daisy slowly forgiving herself and them becoming that much more of a deeply caring, solid ship.

So in short - though, 🙈🙈🙈, I suppose I should really say in long, because it would seem I am incapable of doing anything in a short fashion - I don't think anyone should be "glad" about Lincoln's death. If anything, we should all be FURIOUS, and super frustrated, because if he had only lived, there could have been so many excellent storylines, both bonding-wise and regarding THE ACTUAL PLOT (his powers could have been SO HELPFUL, just, argh). Lincoln Campbell should not have died, and I will stand by that till the day I die.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

#ask #you can say a lot of things to me but DON'T say you're glad Lincoln died #cause that's a really downright ARSEHOLE thing to do #and you will get lectured for it #at length #as shown here #and probably not talked to for a while #again as shown here #😤#**lily rants #staticquake #defending staticquake #queue'll figure it out together

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agl03 · 3 years ago

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What Season of AOS was the hardest for you to handle doing that whole Fandom Mum thing?

Hi Anon,

I started getting lots of asks mid/end of Season 3 and since then each Season had its own ups and downs depending on the story.

Season 3 I think the most frustrating thing was the Fallen Agent not because of the asks but the nonsense from the PR team. We'd gone the whole B half of the Season knowing that someone was going to die. And going into the finale the Fallen Agent campaign ran and upset so many fans teasing the deaths of their favs.

Season 4 easily was the Framework Arc. It started with the screening of What If? at Wondercon and never let up. My poor poor ask box. It was hard to try to stay positive when every week it just got worse and more frustrating to watch. I have metas out there with my personal feelings on that arc and that they just went too far. So many of us in the Fandom hated seeing Fitz trapped and brainwashed, even more when it became clear that there was no true love's kiss that would fix it. Once out of the Framework the writers hadn't left enough time to properly resolve things so there was just so much up in the air. The topper was many Fitzsimmons fans had hoped for an engagement in the end, it was something I had seen as a possibility even due to the clues in 4.14, and when it didn't happen I got a few not so nice asks telling me to go to a not so nice place. This is where I learned that Managing Expectations was something I needed to be very vocal about.

Season 5 had the fall out from Devils Complex which took a lot out of me as lots of ugly things started flying around. Lots of blocking had to happen. But hands down was the finale and I think was the hardest time I had keeping it together. The day the finale aired my dad was needing to have some difficult decisions made regarding his medical care and I was in the hospital/ER all day and having to make these decisions alone. I was still there when the finale aired and I knew Fitz had died because my ask box absolutely imploded, I saw the asks, and my mutuals were warning me that something terrible happened/don't let the kids watch. To this day I have watched that Episode once and only once in order to see what happened so I could properly address asks. It took me days to do so because I was so emotional with everything hitting me. I shared the many in the fandom's anger, disappointment, and feeling betrayed that that was where the writers were willing to leave it and that they felt that was a "satisfying ending". We did get through it and as usual I got through it via theorizing and amazing mutuals but we lost some good people then too.

Season 6 was pretty chill. I really liked the shorter season and change in format. Most of the drama I think was more fandom created and came from the twitters. When my ask box did blow up it was usually lots of good digging into theory stuff which I love.

Season 7 WHERE THE **** IS FITZ?! I was totally off as to when he'd show up but I got my die on the hill theory that I came up with in the finale of Season 6, so I was good Again, had Fitz been around all season we would have gone through something terrible awful.

In the end I'd still do it all again. I learned how to manage things better, learned to take care of myself, and I really did have fun with it. It gave me a good outlet while I recovered and an escape when things IRL were just a lot.

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cxplqnce · 4 years ago

Text

Deke Shaw - Nervous

Based on Nervous by Shawn Mendes.

Word Count: 2,148

I saw you on a Sunday in a café

And all you did was look my way

And my heart started to race

And my hands started to shake, yeah

The first time Deke saw you was after you had assisted Simmons in Yo-yo’s care after she got her arms chopped off by the mysterious assassin. You were a shield scientist to start off with but had joined the shield team when they fought Daniel Whitehall and Daisy’s parents. Since you were extremely intelligent, Fitz and Simmons had taken you under their wing and taught you everything they knew and you frequently assisted them – becoming part of the team.

Daisy introduced you to Deke once you’d cleaned up and gotten some rest. Unbeknownst to you, after you’d left to check on Simmons and Yo-yo, Deke’s hands started shaking and his heart sped up – he definitely liked you and Daisy picked up on his obvious attraction.

I heard you asked about me through a friend

My adrenaline kicked in

'Cause I've been askin' 'bout you too

And now we're out here in this room

“She is way out of your league.” She said to him while they were in the storage room in the lighthouse looking for some supplies to help with Yo-yo’s injuries.

Deke coughed awkwardly, “Wha-, What you mean?” He stuttered.

“Y/N. I saw how you were looking at her and she is way out of your league.” Daisy explained, pulling things off shelves, trying her best to ignore her little Deke problem.

“Well, if she’s so far out of my league, what can I do to get into her league?” Deke asked, unsure of the slang and terminology of this decade. Daisy chuckled at Deke’s words, continuing to pick things off the shelves so Deke ran in front of her, “Come on, what does she like in a guy? You know, what can I do?”

“Fine, I’ll play.” Daisy responded, turning to Deke, “She’s shy. I’ve never really known her to speak up too much about what she likes but I know that she hates big gestures and having herself be the centre of attention. She likes the little things that let her know you care, are we done now?”

“Fine, I guess that was slightly helpful.” He muttered, looking down at the ground but his attention was brought back when Daisy yelled his name. He looked behind him and saw a Kree launching towards him with a bloody knife. A fight ensued but was ended when Daisy shot the Kree, it turning to ash and Deke’s skin saved.

Caught me staring in your eyes

And I'm not usually like this

But I like what you're doing to me

The team had found out about the fear dimension thanks to Daisy and Deke, and after a heated debate about who should do the self-sacrifice job, Coulson passed out. You had been the first person to respond to his fall until Fitz had gotten Simmons to help – since you had a lot of medical expertise but nowhere near as much as she did. You had left Coulson in her hands and were on your way to check on Yo-yo before your brain got to you.

Fear clouded your senses and you collapsed on the floor, pushing yourself up against a wall and letting out your tears. You hadn’t seen the team in months and when they finally got back even more hell broke loose, so much that you couldn’t handle it any more. You’d been having small anxiety attacks since you were little and you had mostly grown out of them until you joined SHIELD. Simmons had found out and suggested you leave the team but you were determined to stay so you worked with her on how to control your emotions but every now and then you would just explode, and now was one of those moments.

Deke was pacing, waiting for orders from Coulson when he heard crying and followed it. He saw you sitting with your knees to your chest, crying into your hands and he couldn’t stop himself from helping.

“Y/N?” He asked, quietly so he wouldn’t spook you. You looked up, with tear-stained cheeks, sniffing and rubbing under your reddened nose. “What’s wrong?” He asked, sitting down next to you. You were taken aback, usually people would ask if you were okay or try to help you with your breathing but Deke was different.

“It’s just… everything is just a bit too much right now.” You whispered, sniffing again.

Deke put his hand on top of yours and smiled, “I get it, sometimes just everything feels like it’s crushing you, but you’re not holding it up alone. My mom used to say; ‘The steps you take don’t need to be big, they just need to take you in the right direction.’ So don’t worry about not being able to hold everything up all the time. Sometimes just holding up one thing is okay.”

“Yeah,” You replied, looking up at his eyes – which you hadn’t noticed before now. They were a faded grey with spots of green.

“Deke!” You heard Coulson yelling, drawing you out of your trance-like state. “Deke!” He yelled again, prompting Deke to move from his position sitting next to you.

“Guess I gotta go. Feel better.” He said, before walking towards the sound of Coulson’s voice.

“Deke,” you called, he turned to look back over at you, “Thank you.”

He smiled, “Don’t mention it.” He replied before jogging off in the direction he was headed.

You got me acting like I've never done this before

I promise I'll be ready when I walk through the door

And I don't know why

No, I don't know why

After Deke had arrived back at the lighthouse with some other members of SHIELD including; Mike Peterson and Agents Davis. He made sure to catch up with you when he saw you walking out of Yo-yo’s room.

“Hey, Y/N.” He called to get your attention.

You stopped in your tracks and swiftly turned around, facing the future man, “Hey, Deke. How was your mission above ground? You see the world?”

He smiled, widely, “It was awesome, but how are you doing? Feeling better?” He asked, concern on his face.

“Yeah,” You said, nodding, “Fitz and I came up with a way to stop the fear dimension, Coulson’s down there now. I just… couldn’t be in that room with everyone. Too much pressure.”

“I could wait here with you, if you’d like? So you’re not waiting alone.” He asked, you were silent for a moment, thinking about how to respond when he continued, “I’ve been told I make a good distraction.”

“Yeah, yeah… thanks, that’d be good.” You said, sitting down against the wall, Deke following suit.

You had a nice conversation with you both taking turns asking about each other’s time periods before you were alerted by the team that Coulson was safe and well and the fear dimension was destroyed. You realised that while talking to Deke, your anxiety hadn’t overflown like it usually did in situations like the one you were in and you were thankful.

I get a little bit nervous around you

Get a little bit stressed out when I think about you

Get a little excited, baby, when I think about you, yeah

Over the course of the next few weeks, you had been thinking more and more about Deke and your conversations. Whenever you were feeling anxious or scared, he’d always be there to calm you down and distract you. You had returned the favour after he found out that he was FitzSimmons’ grandson.

You returned the favour again after Deke was almost killed by Ruby Hale. He had to have surgery and you were the head surgeon on duty, since Simmons was away on mission. Thankfully, the surgery went well and there was minimal damage, even after Deke’s freak out.

“Welcome back.” Mack said, taking the oxygen mask off of Deke’s face when he woke up. You were still cleaning yourself up after the surgery and taking a minute to yourself, since it took you a while to patch him up.

“You are on a lot of drugs. But, hey, good news - you didn't die.” Piper cheered, looking down at Deke, who was clearly very high and unaware of most of his surroundings.

Deke smiled, prodding his bandage, “Thank you. You guys saved me.”

“Well, we're just glad you pulled through.” Mack replied.

“Is Y/N here? She's so pretty.” Deke mumbled, causing confused expressions to cross over Piper and Mack’s faces.

Mack coughed slightly, “What now?”

“I want to put my mouth on her mouth and move it around a lot. But I don't want to do that unless she wants to, too, 'cause that's what makes it nice.” Deke rambled, thinking about you. Piper chuckled to herself at Deke’s confession and Mack made a disgusted face as he had become like an older brother to you over the years and did not need to hear Deke go on about kissing you. “But I don’t know if she wants that, but like she could… we’ve been having these talks and she’s just so cool.”

“I mean, she's -- she's not my type, but I -- I get it.” Piper added, to Mack.

You had just woken up from a short nap and decided to check on Deke. When you got down to the medical area you saw Mack, Piper and Daisy talking by a sleeping Deke.

“Hey, guys. Everything good?” You asked, looking over at the monitors to check that everything was all good with Deke. The trio just nodded, trying to hide their chuckles that you most definitely noticed.

“Yeah, we’ve got to go check on something; can you stay here with him?” Mack asked. You nodded in response, pulling a chair up by his bed while they left but Mack stopped behind for a moment, “You may want to talk to him at some point about what he’s just told us about you.”

“What?” You asked, intrigued.

“Just saying.” Mack replied.

“Mack! Mack, what do you…”

Talk a little too much around you

Get a little self-conscious when I think about you

Get a little excited, baby, when I think about you

Yeah, when I think about you, babe

It had been a few days since Deke had woken up properly and you had been thinking a lot about what Mack had said to you but you had chickened out multiple times over asking Deke about it. Deke remembered everything he said to Mack while he was high and had been advised by Mack, Coulson, Piper and Daisy to talk to you about it but he had also chickened out until now.

You were taking a break in your room, trying not to think about everything with Ruby Hale and Werner Von Strucker and the Remorath. You’d been feeling a little anxious lately and it started getting worse so you were advised by Simmons to take a break.

“Knock, knock.” Deke said, while knocking on your door.

You moved from your current position of lying over your couch and sat normally before calling, “Come in.”

Deke opened the door and walked into your room before closing the door behind him and standing awkwardly by the door. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You seemed pretty skittish out there.”

You nodded, “I’m okay, just feeling a little worn out. Also someone put lemons on my bed and I haven’t figured out who or why.” You replied, Deke nodded and you decided to take a chance, “Hey, Mack said I should ask you about what you said while you were high, apparently you mentioned me.”

Deke froze, his heartbeat sped up and his hands started shaking. “What exactly did he say?” He asked, coming to sit down on the couch next to you.

“That’s it, just that I should ask you about it.” You explained.

“Okay, cool.” Deke mumbled, clearing his throat, “Well, I, uh… I said that I thought you were smart and cool and that you’re really pretty and I like you, and well… you don’t want all the gory details.” Deke confessed, looking anywhere but at you. You chuckled, a small grin appearing on your face as your cheeks burned red, “Is that a good laugh, or not?”

“It’s good, yeah. I like you too, spaceboy.” You said, your grin getting bigger. A smile appeared on Deke’s face as well as he put his hand on yours.

“The lemons were me by the way, I was so nervous to talk to you and it was supposed to be romantic but I guess it’s not a thing in this time.”

You chuckled again, “No, it’s not but it’s cute… you trying to be romantic.”

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Follow my instagram @ cxplqnce and I take requests (either song imagines or just imagines!).

#deke shaw #deke shaw x reader #deke shaw imagine #deke shaw one shot #agents of shield #agents of shield imagine

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jamiedc-they-them · 4 years ago

Text

Love, Hate, Acceptance, and the In-between (Platonic)

Requested Imagine: The team all try and help you through a bad time, all in their own way.

TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDAL IDEATION/DEPRESSION

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You’d never been the kindest person to yourself, you and the others knew that as a fact. Still, you sat in your car, engine still running as you tried to control your breathing. You were desperate to not fuck it all up, to not greet your best friends after – almost – a year of being a part from one another. What had you missed? What had happened during that time?

Maybe they’d forgotten, maybe they’d moved on. You weren’t exactly going to blame them if you had. You had been gone for a long time with no contact.

However, on the other end, they watched. They had all heard the signal of a new presence at the base, seeing an old car in the lens, it had definitely seen better days – with the battered windows and scratches on it.

However, it definitely was you in the driver’s seat. You were there, alive, but different.

If the agents had to guess, it was worse.

Your internal battle was always one that they, sadly, could only do so much to support you in. Daisy, the one on the team that was around your age, only a few months ahead, could attest to your pain.

She knew that Coulson meant well when he would try and push you (or anyone on the team or in SHIELD, for that matter) to go to a therapist. Granted, it was – normally – the best route to go. But, it didn’t always work with everyone.

“It should’ve been me to go.” She said, unable to catch herself from the words tumbling from her mouth.

She only met Coulson’s eyes, ignoring the looks of her other friends, “You know how Y/N has been. I get that they’re an agent, Coulson. I get that they’re part of this team and are needed for missions. It’s just….this one. I think this one was too close to home. And, I mean – you still let her go?” There wasn’t anger in her tone, just a question.

“I understand that, Daisy,” His voice was soft, “But – Y/N had the contacts we needed to make the bust happen. We needed that intel.”

“But look at them! I understand that sometimes this can help, that taking your mind off it can help a bit. But, you wanna know what helped me most?” She waited until Coulson nodded, “Someone just sitting there and listening. That’s it.” She kept her one at a soft tone too, but there was a bit of desperation in it.

“Simmons,” Said woman turned to Coulson at his call, “Are you able to make the pill dosage Y/N was at, again? Just to be sure?” At her nod, he turned back to Daisy, “We will look after her, Daisy. We’re her family.” The words hit her, hard.

The same words he had uttered when they weren’t sure if she was going to make it out of it and now it –

No. No, she was overthinking it.

It wasn’t very eventful, coming home. At least, not on the outside, anyway. You came in, got greeted, debriefed, went to sleep.

But you were…well, you weren’t doing so hot.

When you walked into the door in the lab, you fell to the ground. The trio (Daisy, and Fitzsimmons) dropped what they were doing and ran over to you to help you. However, that wasn’t the only thing that united the three, they were also united by the giggling some agents had.

“Hey!” Daisy called, protective fierceness in her tone and gaze, “Shut up!” She demanded. Fitzsimmons also gave a glare to the agents, who all stopped at being called out.

“Are you alright?” Fitz asked, checking the bump on your head from the fall. You had gone a bit red out of embarrassment.

“Y-yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” You gave them a small upturn of your lips and walked out. But, the three shared a concerned look.

“I’ll get back to getting the dosage right.” Jemma proclaimed, doing to just that. That left Daisy to ponder on what to do. She just looked at your form, the way you had still not moved and still held that smile.

So, she went to the one person that had sent you on this journey. Did she blame him? Not completely, he couldn’t control your brain chemistry. Still….

She didn’t even knock, she just broke into the office. She was angry, concerned, full of angst and sisterly concern.

“Daisy,” Coulson greeted, putting his pen down, “I’ve booked a session, but it won’t be for a few weeks –”

“I think Y/N should have less stressful jobs. Take the stress off and help them relax a little.” She said, deciding to not beat around the bush.

“…I don’t know if that would help, Daisy,” He answered, trying to let her down gently, “Y/N will just decline more. I know, it does suck that Y/N was the only one with the contacts. But, as I said earlier, she’s home now. We’re here. We’re all on the same side here. We want what’s best for them.”

Daisy took a breath, “I know we are. I know we do. I just –” She left the office, not knowing how to exactly respond to him.

She got to the hallway, seeing your door. She took another breath: in and out. In and out.

She then opened her eyes, she knew what she had to do. What she wished someone would’ve done before.

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The next day, Coulson had knocked on Daisy’s door. She had already been awake, not really being able to sleep that much. Her thoughts had only been about ways to try and help you. She knew the others meant well, but she knew that those ways never worked for her.

Still, she opened the door for Coulson, “I – I just wanna make sure that you’re ok. I don’t want things to be bad because of a fight –”

“It wasn’t a fight, Coulson. Just a disagreement. I – I just want to help them.” She was being more honest now.

“I know you do, Daisy. That’s what we all want to do.” They seemed to just be having the same talk over and over again. One that wouldn’t seem to end until one side gave up.

Daisy nodded, “Ok.” She said, leaving it there for now.

She spotted you walking out of your room, accidentally knocking over some food that had been left for you. You cursed to yourself, before kicking it out the way entirely, the plate smashing and glass sliding all over the place.

“Hey, hey, hey,” She said, running to you and grabbing your arms, “Hey, it’s ok, Y/nn. It’s ok, you’re good. It’s fine.” She assured you, crouching down to pick the shards of glass up. She did, however, hold in a groan when she felt a shard of it cut her.

She looked back up, seeing your face at her cut hand, “it’s not your fault, Y/N, alright? I’ll bandage it up. I’ll clean this up, I promise.” She said, standing up and giving your cheek a friendly kiss before departing to find a first aid kit.

As she left, you were left there standing, fingers going together in an anxious manner. You looked at the glass, stepping over it, thinking about picking it up. You decided, however, to just keep going.

You heard the lab door open. Looking, you saw it to be Jemma leaving said place and making her way to you. However, you did see the way she clocked the broken shards of glass on the ground, before giving you a smile. It was one of her more genuine smiles, ones she held only for friends.

“I think Fitz and I have some things that could help you.” Simmons said, softly. She knew more about your struggle with your double depression than the others, Fitz too; so, it allowed them to try and find other ways to help.

Entering the lab, you saw it to be almost empty, with only a handful there. Whether that be for your benefit or not, that was up for debate.

Although, that debate was already over in your mind: it was for you.

It only made you stop for a moment and think about how much your friends were adapting for you. About how much they were sacrificing for you. How, with the normal amount of people in the lab, Fitzsimmons would be working on something quicker.

Working on something worthwhile.

“Here is mine,” Jemma said, taking your hand gently and placing some pills in it, “It’s the same dosage as last time. I heard you ran out….I – I’m sorry I didn’t give you anymore, Y/N.” She was honest with her words.

You gave her a smile, “It’s nothing to be sorry for, Jem. I,” You cleared your throat, “I had them a bit too quick, anyway. My fault.” You said, stealing the guilt Jemma felt.

However, her guilt then went to alarmed and concerned. For all her efforts, bless her, she still had moments when she wore her heart on her sleeve.

“I’ll be slower with these one’s though! One a day, right?” You assured, then checked. She nodded, alarmed look fading a little, but not completely.

Next was Fitz, he came up next to his wife and put a comforting arm around her shoulder to both do what it was called: comfort. But, also hold a secret message: “I heard it too”.

“Here,” He said as he handed you what looked to be a normal pillow. You held it in your other arm, “It’s got some droplets on it, should help you sleep a bit better.” He explained. You tilted your head, you had heard about things like this. But, knowing Fitz, he’d probably made it use the droplets himself.

God, you loved your friends and their inventions.

They even smiled at the one on your face. It stayed for a bit, before it dimmed a little, “Great. So, I get high whenever I wanna sleep?” They knew it was your attempt at humour, dealing with this situation. Did they find a bit of humour? A little. They just weren’t sure on how to react to it.

At their lack of one, your smile fell completely, you cleared your throat, “Thanks guys.” You were genuine, even if your brain told you different things.

With the eyes being the window to the soul, they saw the look in your eyes. Still, they nodded and bid you farewell as you left and walked back to your room, once again stepping over the shards of glass and opening your door. You put the pillow down and put the pills down on the bedside table.

Shouldn’t have made that joke or told them that, fucking idiot. You told yourself.

When Daisy came back, hand wrapped in a bandage, she saw that your door was opened a little. Opening it, she saw a new pillow and pills on the table.

Fitzsimmons must’ve grabbed you while she was gone.

Well, not grab, but – god she was fucking this up.

Still, she crouched down and picked up the pieces, this time with more care. As she picked them up and placed them into the bag, another pair of shoes approached her. Just by looking at them, she could tell who it was.

The very, very, slight raised front part with a small tint of red gave it away.

Coulson crouched down as well, despite the groan he gave about his back, helping too, “Your hand ok?” He asked.

She then looked at the hand that was bandaged, “Better than it was. Why are you here?” She replied with.

“You’re one of my agents, I always have a tuition as to where you and the others will be…You’re also my friends. So, that’s something.” Those words, the word “friend” always meant something to Daisy. It also reminded her that she had a home, that she wasn’t alone anymore.

Her eyes even softened, she paused. Coulson didn’t seem to mind, though, picking up the rest of the pieces.

“Y/N is in the kitchen,” Daisy looked at him with more focus this time. He nudged his head to the kitchen, “Go on, I’ll clean this up.”

Daisy went to argue, but he continued, “I’ll be fine. You just go spend some time with your best friend, alright? I think they’ll need some.”

So, with one last look of: You sure? And another nod from Coulson, that was exactly what she did.

In there, she saw you laughing with Mack and Elena as you made something. Well, they laughed, your lips did upturn, though.

However, the conversation seemed to be winding down naturally, so they gave you a pat on the back and head rub before making their way to the exit.

They gave Daisy a smile in greeting as they passed.

Then, it was just you both.

It was silent for a moment, but you then turned to see her. You froze for a moment, eyes going to the bandage on her hand. The pain you had caused her.

You gulped, trying to then hide it by sipping the hot drink you had made with your other friends.

“My hands, fine, Y/N.” She told you, timid smile on her face.

“Can – can we sit?” You asked, feeling a bit stupid for even doing that in the first place.

Daisy nodded without missing a beat. The two of you sat on the couch.

She just watched you: watched as you played with the glass with your hot drink, mind seemingly going a million miles a minute, with a pained and dull look in your eyes.

“I –” She went to say, before you spoke.

“Thank you,” She was silent; stunned, even, “I…. I appreciate what you guys are doing for me. I – uh – I know I’ve been saying it a lot. But….I mean it.” You blurted out.

She finally found her voice, “I – we know, Y/NN. We just wanna help you.”

You nodded, but you looked as if you still didn’t fully believe the words, “I know,” You decided on, “Just….I can do this myself, you know? I’m not some fragile toy.” You assured her. However, she heard the slight tension in your tone, the way that you didn’t quite believe those words, yourself.

Coulson came down the stairs, seeing you both asleep on the couch, both curled up on different ends, feet touching. Well, more like tangled a little. It warmed him a bit. Speaking of warmth, he felt the slight coldness of the room. He grabbed a blanket and laid it on Daisy, before doing the same to you.

He had heard your discussions. And, if he was honest, he was a bit concerned as to how far they would push you both and what it would make you both do.

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When you woke, Daisy was gone. However, a note was left on her side of the couch: “Had to go. Coulson wanted to talk. Love you.” It read.

So, you got up. You sniffed yourself, you couldn’t even gag. In short, you smelt bad.

Hygiene could wait, Elena had made you something and you vaguely remembered her telling you it was in the fridge. So, to the fridge you went.

Opening it, you saw that it was, indeed, there. Would it taste great? Just out of the fridge, so probably not. Besides, shit tasting food would fit you. Shit eats shit, right?

You took out the plate, placing it on the table. You then grabbed a glass from the cupboard, putting it under the sink and filling it with water. However, it then broke under your pressure you were putting on it by accident as your brain spun dark thoughts around itself.

“Fuck!” You swore, clutching your now bleeding hand. That tap was still running. You shoved your hand under it, almost embracing the sting you felt.

“They seem to be doing a bit better,” Coulson noted as Daisy still paced in his office.

As he could tell, she wasn’t entirely convinced of that, “Trust me, Coulson, I’ve been in that place before. You get them away just to let yourself….I don’t know….fester? Like, you appreciate it, but don’t want it.” She was blunt. She had to be with this situation. This was serious.

“Simmons is monitoring it.” He said, knowing that it was the only thing he could say that would maybe help calm Daisy down.

Daisy Johnson was not someone who would just let something like this situation – or any situation, really – go easily when it came to family.

“As much as I love Simmons, I don’t think that’s enough.” She was honest, and still pacing.

She was still worried, almost sick with it.

“What ideas have you got?” He was someone that, like some on the team, couldn’t hide his emotions very well. His tone was desperate.

“Let me spend the day with them. I know we have some sparing to do later. I’ll keep an eye on ‘em. I promise, they won’t leave my site.” She said the last bit with no doubt in her voice. She’d rather die than break this promise.

You were her sibling, after all.

The cut was still there, but the blood was gone, only thing that was left was a few smudges of it. You slammed your fist on the table, making some items on it lift up a little before dropping back down.

“Hey,” You jumped this time, spinning around to see Daisy coming down the stairs. You had to give her some credit, she was trying to come across as casual, and not as if she was analysing you like a hawk.

She always had with you, being a few months older and what not, but this was one of those situations were she really doubled down on it.

Blame her for it? No.

Find it irritating? A bit. You didn’t deserve this love or concern.

“We haven’t sparred in a while. Wanna train?” She asked, small smile on her face as she gestured to the door.

You sighed, but nodded.

You ended up on the mat in about three seconds, flat. It hadn’t lasted long. Then again you –

“Seem to be more feral.” Daisy noted as she offered you a hand to help you up. You took it, being hoisted onto your feet.

You shrugged, “Had to fight for your place at the table.” You were skirting around some things, both of you knew it, “I – uh, I kind of got my ass kicked a lot.” You confessed.

“You were always the best, though?” Daisy didn’t mean for the question to slip, it just did.

Your eyes looked haunted as you met her gaze, “Not with those people.”

Training was done, after an hour or so of getting your ass kicked by your best friend. It was not a fun time. And it definitely didn’t help.

Can’t even beat her, anymore. How far you’ve fallen.

Jemma Simmons was someone that was observant, even if it didn’t always seem that way. So, when you walked into the lab, tense and wearing a longer sleaved shirt, some ideas spun.

“Y/N, what can I help you with?” She asked, covering the concern up.

You folded your arms stiffly, “Hey, Jem. Just – uh….how long should the pills take to have an effect?” You sounded scared, but tired.

A fucking contradiction.

Jemma softened her stance and expression as she answered, “A few weeks. I’m sorry, Y/N, it’s the best that I could do –”

“No, it’s fine. I should not be complaining about it, sorry,” Jemma went to try and stop you from this talk, “I need to go, Jem. Coulson’s got me doing a counselling session. I’ll see you around.” You left before she could, however.

She watched you go, sadness in her features. She looked to her husband, seeing a similar look on his face.

“Do we even know if this’ll work?” Daisy asked, sitting on the chair opposite Coulon in his office.

“I hope so. But, until we see the therapists notes, we won’t know for sure.” He replied with.

There was a moment where they both allowed themselves to believe the words; or try to believe them.

That moment was shattered as the door was slammed open. You entered, pacing and breathing in and out heavily. You were repressing a lot. You were holding it in, and it was on the cusp of coming out.

“Y/N, hey!” Daisy was out of her chair in an instant and making her way to you. However, as she put a hand on your back, you slapped it away. She held up her hands as Coulson stood next to her.

“You don’t get to act all concerned when you’re the ones that sent me to that fucking, bitch.” You sneered. You turned, wiping at your eyes in a frustrated manner before facing them again, voice cracking as you continued, “God, I see why you don’t wanna do that shit, Daisy. Just tear you apart and then get paid to put you back together again. There’s no fucking point to that, though, huh? I mean, this shit doesn’t just fuck off because I’ve asked it nicely or because you guys said some kind words, did some work for me, made me some pills. I’m like humpty fucking – whatever, except I don’t come together again. Oh, how fucking poetic Y/N. Fucking –” You ran a hand down your face as your two friends just stared at you in a heap of concern.

“Fuck it. I’m done. I’m fucking done. Fuckers won’t have to deal with this shit, anymore.” You declared, going to leave, when Daisy caught your arm.

“What happened?” She asked, wanting so desperately to help you.

“Like you actually give a fuck.” You ripped your arm free, leaving them behind.

Daisy had quickly, and abruptly, finished her talk with Coulson, and had ran after you. She had accidentally collided with a few agents; she had apologised, but her main concern was you.

However, one person she collided with and couldn’t just move past, was Mack. The big brother of the group.

He grabbed her steady her. It was then that she realised that her own breaths were panicked, “Tremors, what’s going on?” He asked in worry.

“It – It’s Y/N, I think –” She couldn’t get her words straight, but he knew what she meant.

She ran to your door, putting her hand on it and pushing. She continued to push, over and over again, but it came to no avail.

“Y/N!?” She exclaimed as she hit the door, then shaking it.

“Tremors, move.” Mack ordered, putting his boot to the door.

On the other side, however, was an empty room. There was no note, no dramatic showdown. Just nothing. Just the bag you had brought in and your pills on the table.

They entered, tossing the room to try and see if anything was messy.

Jemma checked the pills: same amount as last time. None gone.

Mack checked the draw: None of the sharper items missing.

Daisy checked your wardrobe, then under the bed: Nothing out of the ordinary.

So where the fuck were you?

Coulson had called everyone up to the office. When they entered, they saw Coulson going through the cameras. He spoke, but didn’t turn to them:

“I’ve got them, they’re making their way to the roof.” He announced, not wasting any time.

Daisy sat herself down, putting her hands together and resting her chin on them. She bit her lip.

She was never one for religion, but she did attempt a prayer for you in this moment.

“Daisy?” She looked up at her name being called, seeing Coulson knelt in front of her. The others were discussing quietly to themselves, but his focus was entirely on her.

“I’m sorry.” She said, feeling the tears burn her eyes; begging to be released.

“It’s not your fault, Daisy. We all want to help them –”

“No, but I pushed them.”

“We all did….Look, we all have our ways of helping them. We’ve all tried. But, I think yours would be best right now.”

Daisy shook her head, “No, they all would. We just need a plan.” She was sure, now.

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It was a quiet, but tense walk to the door to the roof. You were still there, just sitting there. So, that was something in this bleak moment in time.

There was no world ending threat. At least, nothing to people outside of the team that were waiting on one side awaiting to save a much loved member on the other side.

Daisy looked back to her family one last time, getting looks of reassurances in the forms of nods.

Taking one last breath, she opened the door.

It was a cold night, and you had a longer sleeved shirt on. Although, after May had reported a broken mug hidden in the bin with a bit of blood on them, it wasn’t (tragically) hard to put the dots together.

Still, you looked warmish.

“Here to do the whole, ‘Your loved’ routine? Or, we just gonna skip?” You asked, bluntly.

“Not if you don’t want to talk.” She said.

That got your attention, “Then what the fuck are you doing here?”

Daisy didn’t answer, at least not verbally. Instead, she moved to the edge of the roof you were sat on, and sat next to you.

“We can just sit, if you want. I do, though, think you should take these.” She held out a pill, you took it, but held it.

“Simmons sent you up?”

“No, I came up. They followed, though.”

You looked out at the city, putting your hands on either side of yourself and resting them on the ledge, “You pity me –“

“I’m scared for you.”

“That’s worse.”

“That’s because I care.”

“That’s because I burden you with my bullshit. I mean, I fuck off for almost a year and I expected to come back normal? Fixed? Because, what? I put some asshole away. Some bootlicker who’s probably already been replaced?”

“Maybe he has. But, you did your part in that job. In that fight. Now, it’s our turn to help you with yours.”

“You say it like I can win.”

“It’ll take time. Won’t be perfect. Won’t be pretty. But,” She reached out and grabbed your hand, “You. YOU, are my best friend. I’m not going to abandon you, even when you push. I’m here for you. Twenty-four/seven. I’ve got your back, all the way.”

“We all do.” Jemma’s voice made you both look over at the others who had joined you on the roof.

Jemma and Fitz, hand in hand, approached you both and sat on your side. Jemma grabbed your other hand.

Soon, everyone was all sat on the edge of this roof. There was idol chatter, but nothing serious.

It was calming. It was – almost – nice.

You, again, looked over at Daisy. She gave you a smile and a hand squeeze.

Maybe your thoughts were wrong. Just maybe you were needed here.

Did you fully believe it? No.

But, there were ways to help you. Daisy saw that now. As did you.

It would be a terrifying road, but they’d walk it with you.

You were family.

#agents of shield imagine #agents of shield x reader #daisy johnson imagine #daisy johnson x reader

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brekkingdown · 4 years ago

Text

so @immhungry and I were talking about angst prompts a few days ago and we got to the topic of Coulson writing May a letter for after he died in season 5

this is my take on that

Melinda,

If you’re reading this then my plan worked, that Daisy saved the world, and that i’m no longer around. I know you’re mad, and I know you’re going to blame yourself for not saving me but it was not your fault. If anything, it’s mine. You’re not to blame for any of the reckless decisions I made, and there was nothing you could do.

I want to apologize for all the times I've taken you for granted, May. You’ve always been there for me, from helping me train at the academy, to watching my back in the field and protecting me with everything you had. I never deserved you, and yet you still stayed by me even when I didn’t stand by you. I’m so sorry for putting you through this, you deserve so much better than I could have ever given you. You deserve more than a man who always dies, who never appreciates you enough.

Because you deserve the world, Mel.

You know, I’ve always imagined that it’d be you and me, at the end of the line. I’ve fantasized and dreamed of a life with you. With the picket fences, the children, the job, the dog (if you allowed). I never thought it’d end this way. But still, every moment i’ve spent with you is a dream come true. We may not have gotten the best of both worlds but it doesn’t mean i’d give up everything we had together, even if it was just as best friends. For the most part I suppose we got it. The reckless children who we’d die to protect, the job, even deke could be considered our dog in this lifetime, and sure the playground or the lighthouse wasn’t exactly a suburban 2 story house, but you were there, so it was home. You’ve always been my home.

If Deke and FitzSimmons were right, there are infinite timelines out there that we don’t know about, where things could be different. So I know in one of those universes, you and I get our happy ending. Because any version of Phil Coulson would always fall in love with you. It may not be this one, but somewhere, somewhen, I know the stars aligned for us. And they got all the things we couldn’t have.

Someone once told me that “almost” was the saddest word in the dictionary, and I didn’t understand it then. It hadn’t made any sense for it to be the saddest word, but now, thinking of the word hurts my heart worse than any disease could. I know now, what “almost” feels like. Because we almost had it all, we almost got the happy ending. It cuts deep into my heart that we couldn’t be anything except, “almost.” Almost isn’t, and will never be, enough for me, not when it comes to you and I. And I’m never going to forgive myself for not fighting harder to give us more.

I’m not going to apologize for choosing to save the world. I’d rather know that you’re safe and alive on earth, than be in a post-apocalyptic timeline enslaved by alien warlords. You’re one and the same Melinda, you are my world, and saving you at my expense is a no brainer.

I love you so much Melinda. You mean everything to me. Take care of yourself, take care of Daisy and the rest of the team, they need you. I’m not really gone, I’ll live in your heart, just as you’ve lived in mine, and as long as you’re there I’ll be with you every step of the way. Death isn’t the end, not for us, I’ll be waiting for you, and when you’re ready, you’ll see me again.

Yours, in this life and the next,

Phil

we aren’t crying. nope. no sir.

#agents of shield #melinda may #phil coulson #philinda #philinda deserves better #aos #season/series 5 #such a shame that jedmo didn’t like philinda #f*ck them #ANGST #sobbing in a corner rn bye

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jaskiers-sweetkiss · 4 years ago

Text

Worth It

Pairings: Dousy, background Pepperony, FitzSimmons, Philinda, Mackelana, and Huntingbird

Word Count: 2.8K

Warnings: mentions of violence, mentions of gun use, mentions of ptsd, light swearing

a/n: Here’s my soulmate au for day 6 of @aosficnet2 ‘s AoS AU August! It’s got Modern Man!Daniel Sousa based on Enver’s appearance as a police officer in The Avengers.

___

Daisy “Quake” Johnson - Inhuman, hacker, Agent of SHIELD, and now she could add “Avenger” to her list of descriptors. The agent hadn’t been entirely surprised when she’d received an impromptu meeting with Director Nick Fury about her powers. At the time he had told her he was putting together a team, a group of people with super-human abilities that would work together to defend the world if the threat arose. She had signed on, she was already a SHIELD agent and she’d had plenty of training with her ability from her mom growing up at Afterlife, but she never met the team. Well, until about 24 hours ago. They were a bit of a nightmare (a complete shitshow if she was being blunt), none of them had worked together before so it was no surprise that they were butting heads. Daisy got along just fine with Natasha Romanoff aka the Black Widow as the two of them had crossed paths from time to time within SHIELD, but she couldn’t say the same for scientist Bruce Banner (the Hulk), billionaire Tony Stark (Iron Man), or the first-ever superhero Steve Rogers (Captain America). Of course, now they were also dealing with a Norse god of thunder who was supposedly good and his brother who was apparently bad. Thor, Stark, and Rogers: three massive egos in one aircraft.

Judging by the footage they were streaming from the museum Loki was more than just bad. Daisy had always been wary of powers, her mom had taught her that. Power was extremely dangerous when put in the wrong hands, that’s why Afterlife was so selective in choosing who got to go through terrigenesis. Loki was clearly the wrong hands and even though she really hated the men she was surrounded with, if they were the world’s only hope then she’d put up with them.

“So you expect me to believe there is life on other planets?”

Daisy sighed, trying not to get too frustrated. The man had been in the ice for seventy years, he missed a lot and probably had no reason to expect that “aliens” existed. Of course, she had known the truth since she was a child: not only was it highly probable that life existed elsewhere in the galaxy, but she was part-alien herself. Of course, no one else knew that. Inhumans were a secret from the rest of the world and it would need to stay that way.

“Oh, I’m sorry Seismic Activity, did you know that already?” Stark asked sarcastically, raising a brow at her and she rolled her eyes.

“It’s Quake, actually, and yeah, I knew that, statistically, it was highly probable that alien life exists,” she bit back, glaring at the man, “Just about everyone in this century knows that.”

“Agent Johnson if you have some sort of issue with when I was born then you should just come out and say it,” Cap said, a frown on his face as he sat up in his chair.

“Look, I couldn’t give two shits whether you were born yesterday or a thousand years ago, I just don’t think we really have time to be debating extraterrestrial life right now,” Daisy said, fighting the urge to roll her eyes again as she gestured to the holoscreen displaying Loki’s cell.

“She’s right, gear up.” Director Fury said. Daisy wasn’t sure when he had entered but she was glad he was taking her side. “We’re under attack.”

Daisy nodded, rushing out of the room to find her gauntlets and her weapons. It wasn’t a great idea to quake on a giant helicarrier so she’d probably be fighting old school.

“Woah, what the hell is that Johnson?” Natasha Romanoff was sneakier than Fury and Daisy hadn’t even known she was in the room until her wrist was tightly in the woman’s grasp.

She sighed, tugging her arm out of the redhead’s grip and slipping on her gauntlet to cover the writing. The marks weren’t uncommon, most of the world had them. They developed at age 16 and were usually the first words your soulmate said to you. However, not everyone got one or soulmates died and SHIELD specialized in utilizing the soulmark-less. That’s not to say there weren’t agents with soul marks in the organization, for ordinary agents SHIELD held a mostly don’t ask, don’t tell policy. Typically the only way to get into high-risk assignments like the Avengers was to prove the lack of a soulmate, but of course, the Avengers were less than typical.

“They make exceptions for people with powers.” She brushed it off, slipping on her other gauntlet.

“That doesn’t change the fact that you’re connected to someone,” Natasha argued and Daisy huffed, turning away.

“Stark’s got a mark, and he’s actually met his soulmate. If something happens to me mine’ll never know what they missed.”

Daisy quickly slid her various knives and guns into place in their holsters before leaving, effectively putting an end to one of the worst conversations she’d had in a while. She didn’t need the Black Widow to guilt-trip her, she had herself for that. She’d heard the stories about the pain people felt when their soulmate died and it often kept her up at night, but right now she had a job to do and she’d be damned if she sacrificed the world for one person she hadn’t even met.

Of course, her dedication to the cause hadn’t mattered much, she still wound up on the floor of the helicarrier with Phil Coulson bleeding out. She didn’t know the man super well, but he was usually the agent present whenever an 0-8-4 was discovered and since Daisy was something of an 0-8-4 herself, they crossed paths pretty frequently. She knew he was an upstanding and kind man, she knew he was a good agent, and she knew he didn’t deserve to die like this.

It wasn’t long until Fury came and swept him away and Hill ushered her back into the briefing room where some of the others were gathered. They all looked worse for wear and apparently they were about ready to give up. The Hulk was gone, Loki had jettisoned Thor from the airship, and he has the tesseract and would likely be taking over earth shortly. Daisy couldn’t believe it.

“I just watched several good agents die, and you want to throw in the towel? Do you have any respect for yourselves?” She questioned, glaring at Rogers and Stark.

She stormed out when she was met with silence, passing Fury in the hallway. She wanted desperately to change out of her skintight Quake suit and get cleaned up, but she wasn’t ready to give up the fight yet, opting instead to unzip the top half, tying the sleeves around her waist. She wandered around the ship like that, her sports bra the only thing covering her torso, before finding herself on the top deck, leaning over a railing.

“Have you met them yet?”

Daisy turned to see Rogers gesturing to her wrist where the words “Who the hell are you?” were written in a neat script.

“Nah,” she shook her head, barely concealing her disappointment with a smile.

“You’ll find them eventually, or they’ll find you.” He gave her a tight-lipped smile.

“Thanks for not berating me for risking my life while my soulmate is out there somewhere.”

“Hey, I hid my makr to join a highly experimental drug trial and enlist in World War Two so I don’t have much room for judgment.” He joked and Daisy laughed, feeling a little better.

___

Daniel Sousa had been sure this would be another day at the station as he slipped his uniform over his shoulders, covering the soulmark on the back of his shoulder. Soulmarks appeared when a person turned 16, appearing at the place where their soulmate would first come in contact with them. The combination of the location of his mark and the words (“Probably your only chance at survival now let me go”) had always been a mystery to him though he hoped he would solve it soon.

He took the subway to the station, just like he did every morning. Daniel was a police officer for the 99th precinct in NYC which was about a fifteen-minute subway ride away from his apartment. Despite its obvious flaws (thanks MTA), he liked taking the subway - it was more environmentally friendly than driving himself, it was much faster than trying to make it through New York traffic or walk (though sometimes he did walk when it was nice and his leg wasn’t bugging him as much), and the crowds increased the probability that he’d come across his soulmate.

She wasn’t on the subway today again and so Daniel resigned himself to daydreams of how they might meet. He hoped it would be romantic, that she’d bump into him accidentally (it was the best way he could explain the back of his shoulder), maybe he’d catch her as she tripped over him and they’d lock eyes and she’d take his breath away. He pushed away the fears that she would be freaked out by his prosthetic or the fact that her words on his shoulder didn’t fit that scenario at all. He wanted their meeting to be perfect for her.

He was ripped away from his thoughts by his partner, Jack Thompson, telling him they had to go check out a call downtown. There weren’t any detectives involved so it likely wasn’t anything serious- probably a noise complaint or something equally mundane.

Daniel had been right, the call was a typical noise complaint, easily solved and probably ignored as soon as they left the building (Jack bet they’d be back in 24 hours, Daniel gave it 32). However, he never could’ve guessed that when they went to climb back into the squad car a portal would open up in the sky and a bunch of space creatures would attack earth. Thompson grabbed the radio to inform the station of the situation. It took a few minutes of convincing (he didn’t blame them, he only believed it because he was seeing it) and a few more to figure out what to do (there really isn’t an official protocol for Hostile Alien Invasion) before they were told to stay put and that backup was on the way.

Daniel reached for his gun, steeling himself for the fight he was sure he was about to be involved in. An alien invasion would be a really bad time for his crippling ptsd. Still, he was sure his hand would shake if he had to actually lift his gun, his finger would hesitate on the trigger, he’d have to fight to keep his eyes open because if he closed them all he’d see was Afghanistan.

“Sousa you with me?” Thompson asked, snapping him from his thoughts.

He nodded, letting out a shaky breath, when had he stopped breathing?

Thompson nodded, more to himself than to Daniel, “Good, cause we’re going to get through this.”

___

If she had been really thinking at all, she might’ve wondered if she was having an out-of-body experience as she moved through the streets of Manhattan with the purpose of a woman on a mission. The Avengers were scattered across the borough trying to fight the Chitauri with mixed success. It seemed like no matter how many they blasted, quaked, shot, or struck with lightning more kept coming through the portal. Daisy was taking out as many of the aliens as she could while trying to command the local police forces- badges or not, they were purely human and severely underprepared to fight this threat. Their services were more equipped to evacuate and protect the civilians.

She hadn’t been paying attention when she knocked into someone’s shoulder. It was a police officer, she noticed, though where most of the officers she’d seen seemed ready to take on the Chitauri head-on, he looked terrified.

“Who the hell are you?” The man questioned, quickly grabbing her wrist before she could run off.

“Probably your only chance at survival now let me go.” Daisy bit back angrily and the man gasped, dropping her arm and backing away like she had burned him.

“You’re- we’re-” The man stuttered and even though he could’ve been about to say anything (maybe “you’re Quake!” or “We’re gonna die!”) Daisy knew exactly what he meant. She knew from the burning sensation on the wrist he had been holding. He was her soulmate.

“Oh my god, I don’t have time for this!” Daisy yelled angrily, quaking the alien that had appeared behind the man.

She silently cursed fate or destiny or whatever was behind this for planning her soulmate meeting during a literal alien invasion.

“Listen, I need you to leave the frontlines- spread the word: all officers are to evacuate as many civilians as possible. Focus on protecting them.” She ordered making an effort to put the world-altering event before the life-altering event she had accidentally just stumbled upon.

“Who’s going to be there to fight?”

Daisy quaked another approaching Chitauri soldier. “Leave that to the people with powers.”

The officer nodded mutely, seemingly stunned into silence.

“Sousa!” Another officer called out, “Quit chatting we have a job to do!”

The dark-haired officer, her soulmate, nodded to the man and started to move away.

“Officer Sousa!” Daisy called, taking steps backward herself, “Maybe we can get some coffee when this is all done?”

“Sure but how’ll I find you?” He asked, turning back to stare at her hopefully.

Daisy’s steps were picking up speed, the urgency of the day not lost on her. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll find you!”

And with that she was off, turning on her heels and sprinting towards Stark Tower.

___

Daisy stared at the computer monitor in front of her. It had been a few days since the Chitauri attack and while New York and her mental state was still a disaster, she needed to do this. The file she had found in SHIELD’s database was a welcome distraction, as was the handsome face staring back at her from the screen.

Daniel Jordan Sousa. Born 1984 in Twin Falls, Idaho. Served one tour in Afghanistan before being discharged due to an injury resulting in the amputation of his left leg.

She scrolled down to the contact information.

Cellphone: (xxx)xxx-xxxx

Bingo.

Daisy: Hi, it’s Daisy Johnson, your soulmate? I was wondering if we could get that coffee?

She was surprised by how quickly he responded.

Daniel: I’d love to!

Daniel: btw how did you get my number?

Daisy: It’s a bit of a story, mind if I tell you over that coffee?

Daniel: does 1:00 work? Maybe we could grab a bite to eat while we’re at it?

Daisy smiled before checking the time, 11 o’clock. She had two hours to get ready.

Daisy: 1:00 sounds great. I know a cute place off 12th ave

___

Daniel had no intention of pulling his soulmate from the field, he knew it was where she wanted to be and he’d never dream of taking it from her. However, he’d be damned if he wasn’t out there to watch her back. So, he joined SHIELD not long after they met. Despite his prosthetic, he climbed the ranks relatively quickly though Daisy wasn’t surprised. She had seen his record both in the military and the police force, Daniel Sousa was a damn fine agent.

The two weren’t in any hurry relationship-wise. They had moved in together fairly quickly but even two years later they had yet to get engaged. It was a bit of an anomaly - soulmates were usually hitched within a year of meeting each other but Daisy didn’t really hold much stock in a piece of paper declaring their relationship valid and Daniel decided he really didn’t need that paper either as long as he still had Daisy. Besides, with their separate jobs at SHIELD, they didn’t really have much time to plan engagements or weddings.

In 2014 the pair were recruited to an elite team by Phil Coulson, the man Daisy could’ve sworn had died in her arms, the man the Avengers were told had died. She had shaken her head at Fury when she found out. “You manipulative son of a bitch,” she had said though she had meant it fondly. Who knows what would’ve happened when the Chitauri invaded if he hadn’t done what he had.

Daisy and Daniel joined scientist duo and soulmates Jemma Simmons and Leopold Fitz as well as Coulson’s soulmate Melinda May on the Bus, a giant plane Fury had given Coulson as reparations for his death. The team had its bumps in its initial missions but they quickly became a tightly knit family that only grew when Coulson took over as Director of SHIELD after the Hydra takeover.

When Daniel finally proposed Jemma had been her maid of honor and Bobbi and Elena had been her bridesmaids. Likewise, Fitz had been Daniel’s best man and Mack and Hunter had filled out the rest of the groomsmen roles. It had been a small but beautiful wedding, Daisy’s mom had allowed them to have the ceremony at Afterlife and Coulson and May had been their officiants.

Daisy had cursed fate when they met, but looking back she realized it was all worth it for this.

___

a/n: I had no idea how to end this. Also, I have no clue where the 99th precinct operates in NYC (if it even exists) I just wanted to make a Brooklyn 99 reference. Though I’m realizing belatedly that B99 takes place in Brooklyn and probably doesn’t operate in manhattan but oh well.

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