#first time I've ever come home after that group and not felt like shit so thats a huge win LOL

[dandyshucks]

the trans group actually went decently this time yayyy i was only misgendered once but it was by the person who misgenders literally everyone so fhdkdl i didnt rly take it personally, and also there was a rly nice guy there that i was almost getting a little flustered by bc he was just. so nice. 😭😭

he was asking questions abt the pins on my bag (i keep meaning to show yall my bag actually bc I've made it look like my pkmn self's bag fbdksl i gotta do that at some point) and he complimented my sketches that i was working on while i was there and he asked me questions abt it all and like. literally nobody ever asks me questions abt myself, that was so !!!! almost a little overwhelming and scary tbh bc nobody is ever interested in me and my stuff and what i have to say LMAO so i was getting nervous he was looking for smth specific, but i think he was just being nice :')

i feel a little bad though bc i didnt ask him almost any questions abt himself bc i just. had nothing to go off of and the conversations in the room kept moving too fast for me to find any openings for talking to him so augh i hope he doesn't think im rude fjfkdl

i hope he shows up if i go again.... maybe,,, maybe i could make a friend fbdjdksl, it'd be so nice to have a friend in town omfg. also if im being honest,, maaaaybe i was a little bit 👀 bc he was just. so nice. and also he was my age and um. yeah. idk. im not gonna hope for anything in that regard though LMAO its just a fun thought. im scared enough to even hope for just a friendship though fjdmdl

[lucysarah-c]

"Alright, spill the beans," Erwin said as he sat down on the couch, opening a beer can and crossing his legs. He could hardly contain his smile. Mike and Hange stared intensely at the shorter man. Levi had told them he had something to "share," and he hardly ever shared anything. Therefore, all attention and the floor were his.

The group of friends grew more and more curious as Levi seemed unsure, almost shy. His finger tapped his beer can uneasily as he pressed his lips together. "Fine, but don't fucking laugh."

"I can't promise you that," Hange quickly confirmed, making the other two chuckle but also agree. Levi just sighed resigned.

"Y/N… Y/N found a thong that wasn't hers among her clothes."

Erwin, who was sipping his drink, spat it out in shock at how quickly the situation escalated.

"WHAT?!" Hange tilted forward as they heard what happened while the rest looked in shock, mouths open. "You CHEATED on your 9-year-long girlfriend?!"

"No!" Levi almost shouted back. "That's what I'm trying to explain!"

It was Monday night. We had dinner after coming home, the usual routine. I was doing the dishes after she got out of the shower, and I heard her steps going down the stairs very heavily. That was the first thing that caught my attention, and before I knew it was her, still freshly showered, looking at me and pulling out a red thong, stretching it between her hands. "Whose are these?" My mind went automatically blank. I saw her resting her hand on her hip and frowning back at me. "I-uh." "Because they are not mine," she insisted, her anger palpable. I swear I was trying to speak, but I could only mumble broken shit as she stared back at me as if she was searching for my soul. "Levi Ackerman, WHOSE ARE THESE?" "I- I don't know, I don't fucking know. I swear," I quickly replied as I blinked, trying to find a solution. My mind started to question everything. 'I'm Levi Ackerman… I'm conscious of my actions… I haven't cheated on my girlfriend,' yet I was sweating as if I had. I had no idea whose those were. It was obvious that they weren't hers, apparently, but I've not slept with another woman in years, so I didn't even know where they could have come from. I doubted my entire existence, I began to wonder if I had been drugged and perhaps did something that I didn't recall. The tears, when she began sobbing softly. I felt like the worst human being. "How could you? After all these years…" "No, no, I fucking swear," I said, growing anxious. I don't even own social media accounts; I don't have a password on my phone. I hate cheaters; I would never do something like that to her, to anyone. For a split second, I thought it would have been easier to lie and explain that it was mine somehow. In that moment, my phone started to ring with one of the numbers I have on priorities as she began to walk up stairs. I rushed to pick it up. "Call you later." "Bro, everything okay?" Isabel's voice came from the speakers as she had called me on FaceTime, as she usually does. Apparently, I forgot to hang up as I was walking behind Y/N. "Y/N, I swear on my mother that I don't know whose are those." I was trying to explain myself when Isabel's voice came from the phone again. "There they are! I was wondering where I left them!"

"Apparently, it was from one time they all came over to my house for the pool. I must have put it in the laundry and thought they were Y/N's," Levi finished the tale as the rest looked at him surprised and entertained.

"Didn't you think they could be Isabel's?" Erwin questioned back between chuckles.

"No! How was I supposed to know a red thong was Isabel's!" Levi commented as his cheeks got slightly red.

"Levi… Isabel is 23 already…" Mike said slowly as he tried to make his friend process the idea.

"Tch," Levi took a good sip from his beer as he processed the idea. "You've no idea how fucking scared I was, and when Isabel said they were hers… fucking shit, I never breathed more peacefully in my entire life."

"That happens to you because you do laundry. Since I never do laundry, I don't have those issues," Hange said entertained, but Levi looked back at the brunette dead in the eyes.

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[ahgasegotarmy116]

He Doesn't Deserve You | A Jeon Jungkook Series | Chapter Three

Summary: You feel guilty about having a night out and hope to cover up your tracks as best you can Pairing: Noona reader x Jeon Jungkook (She's 28 and he's 22) Word Count: 2.1k~ Warnings: Yändere, smut, explicit language pretty much it lol a/n: I hope you guys like it! I'm literally horrible at writing smut but I wanted to show another side to how things can be with him sometimes (I'm saying him because I'm not gonna spoil it when you can just read it lol) regardless hope this doesn't disappoint 🫢 Requested by @kkusadmirer 💜

"Girl who was that?" Rae asks, when she walk over to my side of the bar after Jungkook left. 

"His name is Jungkook and honestly I don't really know much about him. He caught me off guard and was asking me a bunch of questions that I didn't really think to ask him any" I say, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "You think he's cute don't you?" she asks taking note of my shyer demeanor while thinking about him. 

"He is attractive and dreamy but I'm married" I say flashing the ring at her in a similar fashion as I had done with Jungkook. "Dreamy? Really?" she teases, snorting at my description. "I'm sorry okay he's the first nice guy I've actually talked to in a while since my husband and I got married" I say, resting my elbows on the bar and throwing my face in my hands. 

"From what I heard, doesn't really sound like he's all that good of a husband" she says, not bothering to spare my feelings. "He's not that bad" I mumble, scarcely believing my words with every effort I put in to defend him.

"If you've gotta say it like that after only two people have said otherwise I don't really think you've got much going for you" she says setting a glass of water in front of me, already seeing signs of a need to stop drinking for the night.

"I mean, he's all I've ever known. He was my first serious boyfriend, my first everything if I'm being honest. We met in college and really hit it off and everything just felt right. After we graduated he asked me to marry him and it felt like a fairy tale ending you know?" I say, swirling around the ice in my cup in an effort to avoid her gaze.

"Sounds like it didn't turn out the way you thought it was going to though" she says, clearly feeling sorry for me. 

"Things between us are fine" I say sitting back up and clearing my throat before taking a drink of water to hopefully help me swallow down this lump in my throat. Getting a reality check from two perfect strangers with them only knowing the tip of the iceberg of my marriage has been hard to accept to say the least. 

"What's his name anyways? I might've seen him before if he likes to go out sometimes" she asks, coming back over with a pitcher to fill up my water, encouraging me to drink more. 

"Taehyung, well Tae for short" I say, hoping and praying that the name won't ring a bell. "Got a picture of him?" she asks, leaning in closer when I pull out my phone. "Shit" she says under her breath as soon as she sees him. 

"What?" I ask pulling it back as though her words had stung me. "He's come here a few times with some friends of his. They're one of the rowdier groups that comes by so we've had to kick them out on occasion" she says clearing her throat at the end, almost as if she's trying to hold something back. 

"If you know anything else about him please tell me" I implore, refusing to be in the dark about this if she knows. "He's gone 'home' with a few girls here" she says putting home in quotes since he's obviously never brought them back to our place. "Do you know how many?" I ask, knowing that I really don't want to know the answer. 

"I've lost track..." she answers, hating that she had to be the one to reveal this to me. "Did you know?" she asks with her brows pinched together. "That he's been sleeping around? Yeah, I know" I say taking a big gulp of my water as if it were the solution to this fucked up life I'm living. 

"Why haven't you left?" she asks, genuinely concerned. "He's my husband" I say with glossy eyes but then clear my throat again to hopefully curb these emotions. "And? He's a dick" she says, continuing with her efforts to never pull punches. "You don't know him like I do" I say, standing up and grabbing my purse to go. 

"Just, be careful okay?" she implores, placing her hand on top of mine before I get too far. "I will" I say and give her a sad smile before walking out and waiting for the cab I called a few moments ago. 

~~~~~~

Walking into the house I'm relieved to see that Taehyung is no where to be found, the lights still having been turned off from when I had locked up. 

Taking off my shoes, I quickly put them in the closet in an effort to quickly cover my tracks and I run into the bedroom soon after that. I take off my clothes and throw them into the washer to again avoid any suspicions because I don't want him even remotely knowing that I managed to leave the house on my own again.

Walking into the bathroom to take a shower as well I see that somehow some of the makeup I had applied rubbed off and I was unknowingly sporting one of the hickeys Taehyung had left. I look at it in the mirror a bit closer, starting to wonder how long it's been showing. 'Did Jungkook see it?' I question,  really hoping the answer is no even though he knows I'm married, it's not something I want to show off.

It could've been worse though, he could've seen the other bruises I have that clearly show evidence of much more than just rough sex. 'How would he have reacted? Would he have said something?' I continue, asking myself question after question, soon starting to regret my decisions of going out tonight. 

Did I have a good time? Sure. But it doesn't make up for the amount of fear and guilt I'm going to feel if Taehyung finds out. Will he do something? Will he get angry? Will he leave? Knowing him he would accuse me of cheating on him even though I'm the one who confirmed my suspicions. 

He, like Rae is someone that doesn't pull punches literally and figuratively. It's something that I've leaned to live with, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

"Hey" I hear him say softly while opening the bathroom door, scaring me and not even realizing how lost in thought I had been. To the point of not even realizing that he had gotten home. 

"Hi" I say timidly, not knowing what his next move might be. 

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" he questions in a mischievous tone, already taking his shirt off. I open the glass door as a way to invite him in and I hold out my hand waiting for him, knowing I really have no choice in the matter. 

"Hi beautiful" he says after getting in, placing his hands on my hips and leaning down to kiss me softly on the lips. I sigh into the kiss, thankful he's back home again and showing his softer side to me again, clearly trying to make up for how we had left things the last time we saw each other. 

"I missed you" he says in a husky voice leaning down further to place a few open mouthed kisses on my neck marking me again, no doubt to make up for the ones that had started to fade. "Missed you" I say through a breathy tone then my breath hitches moments later when he bites down on my shoulder.

"You smell so sweet baby" he says running his nose along the length of my neck before making his way back up to kissing me. "It's my" *kiss* "new" *kiss* "body wash" I say, trying my best to answer but he purposefully works against me, loving the struggle I put up.

"I like it. Buy it again for me when you run out okay? I want my pretty wife smelling like this all the time" he says before flipping me around and pressing my chest agains the wall.

"You gonna be good and let me take you in here?" he asks grinding his dick against my ass making my breath pick up, not expecting this drastic change in behavior. I nod my head with my cheek against the tiles. He presses his chest flush up against my back, pushing me up against the wall even harder, making my chest feel sore as my nipples rub up against the cool surface, making me whine from the sensation.

"Aw look at you, so needy and ready to be full" he say, leaning back a bit and running his finger along my slit, feeling how I'm already clenching around nothing and dripping with arousal as the water falls on my back in a steady stream. "Fuck you look so hot right now" he says looking at my face and dragging his eyes down my figure before spreading my legs a bit and making moves to put it in. 

"Wait" I whimper. "Don't worry, you can take it" he says, placing a kiss on my shoulder before sliding the tip in and making me take in a sharp breath at the intrusion, him continuing to push himself further and further inside until he's bottomed out. 

He enjoys the feeling of my walls spasming around him as I feel the burn from trying to get used to him again. It isn't like this often, he usually loves to take his time prepping and teasing me until I'm begging for more but he had an almost urgency to be inside me this time. 

"Fuck" he says as he starts to move in and out of me, watching the way my ass moves with every thrust and is addicted to the moans that come from me naturally, being caught off guard by all of this and not expecting this to happen tonight. 

"Feels s-so good" I say, clawing at the walls for something to hold onto, knowing there's nothing there for me. He takes notice and he places his hands on top of mine, thrusting in and out with only his own hips supporting mine as he growls in my ear. 

"Been dying to fuck this pretty little cunt all day. Then I come home and you're in the shower making it so easy for me to just slip it in, practically begging for my cock" he says as he slows down his thrust but puts more force behind each one. 

"Isn't that right? You just want to be good for me and take it, let me have my way with you" he says pulling out and flipping me around, enjoying the dick drunk look on my face. He lifts one of my legs up and wraps it around his waist, pounding into me harder making me grab onto his neck and pull him in for a kiss, silencing my moans, making him swallow them as he coaxes more and more out of me. 

"S-shit" he stutters and tells me to jump, wrapping my other leg around his waist as well so he can thrust into me harder. I clench around him when he wraps his mouth around one of my sensitive buds, hard and begging for stimulating. 

"Fuck, more" I whine, desperately needing release. "You wanna cum?" he taunts, letting go of my throbbing bud with a pop. "Tae please" I moan digging my nails into his shoulders. He groans at the feeling and grips onto my waist digging his fingers into them, no doubt leaving bruises.

Giving me a few more thrusts he has my eyes rolling back and my toes curling as my orgasm hits me like a ton of bricks with him still fucking into me, helping me ride it out before he cums a couple minutes later. 

Slipping out and sliding me down the wall and back on my feet he leans up against me while our breathing mixes with the sound of the water still falling all around us. He places a few soft kisses on my shoulder before pushing off the wall and placing both of his hands on my cheek, kissing me softly, helping me slowly come back down and leaving my my mind foggy and drunk on him. 

"I love you" he says when he breaks apart from my lips. "I love you too" I smile, humming in contentment and feeling so good, loving that despite everything he loves me no matter what. 

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[girlwiththepapatattoo]

A Bit of Aid

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3

Pairing: Halsin/Female Reader

Warnings: smut, masturbation, vaginal fingering, praise, bad puns, Astarion being a little shit

Summary: A friend offers you some help.

Notes: This is going to be a PROPER ONE SHOT. (I'm telling this mostly to myself. *wags finger at my own brain*)

Anyway, I've had this mental image in my head for like two weeks and had to get it out. I hope you enjoy <3

Read on Ao3 here!

///////////////////////////////

You lean back against the tree, your face scrunched in frustration. The cool night breeze brushes over the beads of sweat at your hairline, on your neck, making you shiver softly. You pull your hand out of your pants, wiping your fingers in the grass and muttering a very heartfelt, “Fuck,” under your breath. 

It’s been a week and a half since you escaped the nautoloid, waking up with an unwanted passenger behind your eye. 

A week and half, and you’ve built up a group of similarly afflicted people, and a druid you saved from a goblin camp. 

A group of very attractive people.

Now, you were far from a prude, but being surrounded by some of the most attractive people you’ve ever seen in your life is intimidating. Especially when you’ve always felt yourself as being painfully middle-of-the-road. 

And being surrounded by the most attractive people you’ve ever seen in your life is making your active libido scream at you. 

Back home in Baldur’s Gate, before you were snatched up into literal hell, you’d always get yourself off at the very least a few times a week. It was good for your mood and body alike. 

But that was when you were in the quiet safety of your own home. Trying to touch yourself while you’re in a thin-walled tent while those gorgeous people sleep mere feet away is too nerve-wracking to contemplate. 

And so, you’d decided to sneak away for some well earned alone time. Once everyone but Halsin (who volunteered for first watch) had gone to bed, you snuck out of camp and trekked probably half a mile into the forest. After making sure you were alone, you’d sat down at the base of a tree, loosened your belt, unlaced your pants, and shoved your hand into your smalls. 

Almost an hour later, you give up. It turns out that stressing out over the very real possibility of sloughing off your current form to become part of a tentacled hive mind, nearly dying several times at the hands of goblins, and are now facing a trip down into the Underdark, doesn’t make for an easy time getting off. 

Who knew?

And so you sit there against the tree, deciding to wait out the arousal swirling in your gut, to wait out the rather insistent throbbing in your clit, and once you were back to your default state to just go to bed. You exhale through your nose in annoyance, wanting nothing more than to feel that sweet, beautiful-

“Ah, there you are.” 

Your eyes shoot open in terror. You hear Halsin’s voice, his footsteps approaching through the trees, and you scramble to do up your belt at least, so he doesn’t suspect. 

He steps around the tree just as your hands leave your belt, and he quirks an eyebrow down at your red-face, at the way you’re not quite meeting his eyes. “Are you well? You didn’t come back to camp after you left, so I got worried.” 

“O-Oh, no, I’m fine, Halsin,” you stammer, trying your best to give him a friendly smile. “I couldn’t sleep, so I came out to…think.” 

“To think.” He tilts his head a little. “I understand the appeal of having a private spot, but the middle of the night in these woods is more dangerous than you’d suspect.” 

You give a weak smile. “Yeah…sorry for worrying you.” 

Mortified at what he almost caught you doing, you move to stand. But when he crouches before you, smiling in his normal, friendly way… “Would you like some help?” 

You freeze, your eyes locking onto his bright hazel gaze in shock. Did he just…? “Um. What…do you mean? Help with what, standing up? I got it, I promise.” 

He chuckles. “No, no. I mean, help with reaching orgasm.”

You pray that the ground opens you up and swallows you whole. 

“I…” You clear your throat so that more comes out than just a squeak. “W-Why would you…think that I…I wasn’t…” 

His expression is soft, kind. You’re pretty sure that only makes it worse. “Be at ease. There is no shame in desire. For most people, it’s as natural as hunger, as thirst. And there’s no shame in accepting a helping hand…or two. After everything you’ve been through so far, it’s no surprise you’re having trouble on your own.”

Against your will, your eyes flit down to his hands. Thick fingers are laced together between his bent knees as he squats before you, and the thought of what they could do on your flesh makes the hair raise on the back of your neck. You’re suddenly hyper aware of your own body, every inch of skin sensitive. 

“And if you’re worried that I’ll be offended if you say no, you needn’t be.” You look back up at his face in surprise. He gives you a serious look. “I would never touch you without your permission. If you don’t wish my help, say the word and I’ll head back to camp.” 

His words go a long way to reassuring you, and you take a moment to really think about it. It’s been so long since you last had anyone to share an intimate moment with, and you could easily die at any moment. Why shouldn’t you indulge in this man who seems more than willing to help you out? 

You lick your lips. Nerves race through your gut, along with your growing arousal, but you meet Halsin’s eyes. You mean to say something like yes or all right then or hell yes let’s wake up the camp with my screaming, but instead all that comes out is a whispered, “Please…” 

His lips quirk up, his eyes darken even as they flash in delight. “Hm. Please what?” 

His voice has lowered, his customary rumble more pronounced. Your mouth goes dry. “Please…I’d like your help,” you respond. 

“Gladly,” he all but purrs. “Let’s get comfortable then.” He has you move over, and as you shift he pulls his leather vest off. You inhale sharply, your eyes darting over his torso. His shoulder muscles ripple as he lowers himself to sit down with his own back against the tree now. 

What really surprises you though is his body hair. Elves as a whole don’t tend to have hair at all below their heads, but Halsin…his forearms are thick with it, his chest sports a nice patch, and there’s a tantalizing line running from his navel to below his belt. “Gods, you’re gorgeous,” you breathe. 

He chuckles softly. “I’m flattered you think so.” He reaches out a hand to you. “Now, come here to me.” 

Anticipation roils in your gut. You take his hand, warm and calloused and huge. He tugs you over, helping you sit down on his lap, and you gasp as you feel a half-formed erection press against your ass. He rumbles in enjoyment at the sudden friction, tugging you firmly by the hips so that your back is flat against his chest. His cheek presses to yours on your right sight, and his voice vibrates into you, along your back and into your jaw. 

“We’re going to adjust your clothing now. Pull your pants and smalls down for me, hm?” 

His tone is soft and gently encouraging, almost casual, as though he’s teaching you a new skill. It makes you feel desperate to obey. You wriggle your pants and smalls all the way off in your eagerness, which makes him chuckle. His left hand pats your thigh, sending prickles over your flesh. “Lift.” You do, your toes balanced on his knee. He slips that arm under your leg. “Lower, and tuck the toes of both your feet under my knees.” 

You swallow hard at how open this leaves you for him. His thumb caresses your inner thigh almost fondly, which has you breaking out into sensitive shivers. You feel his cheek shift as he smiles. 

“That’s it. Now, pull the hem of your shirt up over your breasts.” 

You do so, taking your bra with it. Your shirt bunches up to your mid-back, and you can feel his belly hair on your skin.

“Mmm, you’re lovely,” he purrs, nuzzling his cheek with yours. His thumb suddenly traces the curve of your breast before his hand cups under it, giving you a soft squeeze, and you shudder hard on his lap and whine his name. “My, my, you are eager aren’t you?” 

He feels your face heat against his cheek. “S-Sorry…it’s been a while,” you whisper.

“Trust me, sweetling, that was not a complaint,” he replies, giving you another soft nuzzle. “I like it. Your desire is as beautiful as you are…” 

He turns his head toward you, and he presses his lips to the side of your neck at the same time the pads of the fingers of his left hand suddenly press between your legs. You gasp loudly, your hips bucking at the touch. “Easy,” he murmurs soothingly against your skin, waiting until you settle. 

You can’t believe how quickly he’s already gotten you dripping. You’ve barely been on his lap a minute, and you’re already desperately turned on. 

His fingers move again, his index and middle fingers parted and rubbing slowly up and down your outer lips. “Fuck,” you gasp out, and he chuckles softly.

“Oh, I didn’t realize you had such a mouth on you,” he teases gently. 

You want to say something clever, something that’ll make him laugh that low, sexy laugh again, maybe even something that’ll have his cock twitching in his pants. But words are a bit beyond you right now, and so you very eloquently say, “Hnng.” 

You feel his jaw shift, as though he was going to speak, but he doesn’t. Instead, his fingers make another pass, nice and slow, up and down your outer lips, before gently parting you open. The cool air of the forest on your overheated, slick core has you stifling another curse under your breath. 

His index finger swipes through your slick as the other hand suddenly gives a pinch to your already hardened nipple, and you have to turn your head to stifle a cry into his neck. “Shh, sweetling, I know,” he murmurs, as though he weren’t the one making you lose your mind. He’s so warm behind you, and he smells so good, like the woods and clean sweat. 

He rolls your nipple between his thumb and index finger, all the while slowly, slowly dragging his touch through your dripping folds. You can feel your heartbeat in your clit. 

“You feel so good,” he rasps as he builds your desire. “So warm and wet for me…One day soon, I would like to take you properly, to feel all this around my cock.” As he finishes his words, the middle finger of his left hand slides slowly into you. You inhale sharply, your eyes nearly rolling back into your head at how good it feels to have someone else’s touch inside you. His finger is thick, nearly twice as wide as your own, and the feel of it makes your hips buck. 

He chuckles softly. “I know, sweetling,” he soothes, pressing a line of gentle kisses up the column of your throat. His right hand gives a soft tug to your nipple, before reaching across your chest to give the other the same treatment. The finger that’s inside you starts to move, gently pumping in and out of you, dragging against your walls…

Curses fall from your lips, muffled into the spot where his throat meets his jawline. You can feel him grin, glad to know that he’s doing a good job.

His right hand leaves your breast, tracing calloused fingertips down over your belly. You shiver hard, wrapping your hand around his bicep as you realize where he’s headed. His fingers slip through the soft hair at the apex of your thighs, down over your mound to your leaking slit. 

The first touch to your clit makes you hiss, and he eases up on his touch, brushing a kiss over your cheek in apology for being too harsh. He gently pets at you, testing, watching your reactions carefully to learn what touches are the best, what gives you the most pleasure. But once he figures it out…

“There we go,” he growls as you moan into his skin, unable to stop the sound that rips from your throat as he works you perfectly. His fingers slide wetly over your engorged clit just the way you like, his other hand pumps two fingers now into your drenched hole, rolling them to hit every sensitive spot you’ve got. You shudder and writhe on his lap, feeling yourself begin to sweat. 

You also feel his cock, fully hard now against your ass. He’s rumbling out soft groans next to your ear as your motions rub yourself on him. “P-Please…please, i-if you want, fuck me now,” you gasp out. 

You feel him growl at your words, and his fingers speed up their pace. “No, not now.” He nips at your ear gently. “Tonight is about you. Besides, I know in my heart if I have you now, your sweet body will be the only thing on my mind. I’ll want to do nothing more than take you, day and night…and we have too much to do for that, I’m afraid.” 

You make some sort of choking/wheezing sound in the back of your throat. You’re pretty sure that’s the sexiest thing anyone’s ever said to you. Your soaked walls clench around his fingers, and he growls again at the feeling. “F-Fuck, you…you can’t just say something like that and then deny me!” you gasp out. 

He chuckles, low and dark. “Apologies, sweetling. One day soon I’ll more than make it up to you. We shall be testing the limits of your stamina…but for now…” 

His fingers speed up, rubbing rapidly over your clit. He adds a third finger, stretching you wide around his massive digits, and you shriek his name. Almost as soon as the sound starts to leave your throat, he turns his head and kisses you deeply, muffling your noise. His tongue plunges into your mouth, tasting of the remnants of supper and something uniquely him, and you eagerly twine your tongue with his. 

You feel it, then, the sudden swoop in your lower belly. Your eyes snap open at the same time he feels your walls begin to flutter around his fingers. Your eyes meet his, those intense hazel orbs sharpening. He pulls away from your mouth, grinning in triumph. “There we go, that’s right…come for me!” 

You throw your head back on his shoulder as your pleasure builds and builds, your hips bucking into his hands. Your mouth drops open in a silent scream as, somehow, he speeds up even more, his fingers pounding into your cunt. He growls your name, you choke out his-

-and you nearly arch completely off of him as you explode. You howl your pleasure to the night air, lost completely to the torrent of fire and lightning rushing through your nerves. You barely hear Halsin, whispering encouragements and praise by your ear as he works you through it. “That’s it, sweetling, that’s it, soak my fingers. Oakfather preserve me, you feel so fucking good gripping me like that…” 

So lost you are in the throws of your orgasm you don’t see his eyes flash gold a couple times before he gets himself under control. You just writhe in the circle of his arms as he works you through it. 

When your movements begin to slow, so do his. He floats you gently down, down from the high he’d sent you soaring to just a few moments ago. You shudder and slump against him as he pulls his fingers from you, gasping for breath and shivering as the cool night air caresses over your sweaty skin. 

You hear him grunt suddenly, and you peel your eyes open just in time to watch him begin to lick your juices from his skin. You inhale sharply, your inner walls clenching hard around nothing at the sight of his tongue lapping you from his fingers. You watch, slack-jawed, as he licks every trace of you from his hand, and once he was done he smacks his lips. “You’re delicious,” he purrs, pressing his forehead to yours. “Next time you’d like help, I think I’ll take you apart on my tongue instead.” 

You shudder at his words, thinking about what he could do with that mouth. “K-Keep talking like that and I’ll be ready for round two right now.” 

He chuckles softly, brushing a kiss to your cheek. “Much as I would love to give you another one, we should get you to bed. We depart for the Underdark in the morning-you must get some rest.” He helps you to stand, then from a pocket in his trousers he pulls out a clean rag. 

You blink in surprise as he wipes at you gently, careful not to overstimulate you. “You…brought that with you? How did you know I’d say yes?” you ask, your thighs shaking a bit as he cleans you. 

“I didn’t.” He grins up at you, on his knees before your gently trembling body. “But in my years, I’ve learned that always coming prepared saves a lot of uncomfortable walks.” 

You snort, stifling giggles into your hand as he helps you into your smalls and pants. It’s quiet then as his fingers do up your laces, and then your belt. He gently pulls your shirt back down, tugging it into place, before he smiles softly to you. “If you ever need my help again, don’t hesitate to ask.” 

“Thank you. And I’m sorry for tomorrow morning, when I’ll inevitably be embarrassed that it happened at all,” you say with a soft grin. 

He can’t help but laugh, leaning down and brushing a fond kiss over your forehead. “I hope one day you’ll unlearn the shame. Now, let’s get back to camp.” He sweeps his hand back towards where the rest of your companions are hopefully still slumbering. 

You both walk in silence for a little while, before you pipe up. “Earlier, a little bit before I…finished, I could have sworn you were about to say something.” 

“Hm? Oh, that.” He grins, rubbing the back of his neck. “You’d uh…been having trouble talking through the pleasure. I was going to tease you a little, but the joke I’d settled on may have distracted you from my touch, so I kept it to myself.” 

“Oh?” You couldn’t help the curious, amused look up at him. “What were you going to say?” 

He sighs, looking embarrassed at himself now. “I was going to ask, ‘bear got your tongue’?”

You have to stop to lean against a tree, you're laughing so hard. He huffs at you, but he’s smiling, unable to find it in himself to be upset. You both bicker like old friends as you return to camp, no awkwardness at all between you. 

Of course, when you get back to camp and Astarion is sitting at the fire, obviously waiting for you both, you immediately blush as the vampire smirks knowingly. “Really, Halsin, you were supposed to be on first watch. I didn’t expect dereliction of duty from you.” He stands, languid grace incarnate, and starts to walk back to his tent. “Good thing I was awoken from my trance when something screamed out in the woods. Goodness knows what could have attacked us in our sleep!” 

He sounds of nothing but pure, pleased mischief. You’re left practically steaming in embarrassment, and before Halsin can say anything, you scuttle to your tent and tie yourself in. The huge druid sighs, shaking his head, but he can’t quite get rid of the fond smile on his lips as he settles back in for the rest of his watch. 

[mxtantrights]

Bounded by shadow and blood (12)

a/n: this has to be one of the most fun parts of this story I've written so far. hehehe, all to say... enjoy! <3333

azriel x magic!fem!reader

You can feel all your emotions boiling over. Like a wicked storm about to strike everything in it's path. You have to get out. You have to leave.

You get up on your feet and grab your sword. You start running. Running down the hall and to the front door. You feel like you can’t breathe correctly.

Your legs take you past the door, you go down the marble steps and the two pillars that designate the entrance. Once you leave the gate you stop and barrel over, your hands on your knees.

No council. No brother. No family.

You’re no longer next in line for the throne. You are the throne.

“About those wards…” 

You look back up and see Azriel standing there. 

“What are you—you’re stuck.” you say.

If he was still here, there was only one reason. You doubt he would stick around for the fun of it. This was just the cherry on top. You ruined someone else’s life too.

Azriel nods his head, “No way out. And there’s no way in.” 

“I’m so sorry.” You whisper.

You don’t feel it, but you plop down onto the ground. You don’t feel it, but you only know it happens because Azriel comes rushing towards you. He looks concerned. You didn’t think he could feel that towards you.

He’s saying something but your hearing is muffled now. A ringing in your ears. You can’t hear him. All you can hear is your heartbeat and the blood flowing in your body. 

Everything is starting to become blurry around you. You can make out Azriel who is getting closer. He’s talking to you but you can’t hear him, and your tongue feels so heavy that you can’t talk. Your eyes flutter once, twice.

The third time your eyes flutter closed, they don’t open.

-

Azriel cradles your head from falling to the ground. He curses to himself and looks around. Your sword has turned back into just the hilt. He picks it up and puts it in one of his holsters. 

No one was coming to help. It’s just you and him.

The thought scared him. Ever since that match in front of the inner circle, things changed. Being alone with you, being near you, possibly having to touch you just lit his soul on fire. 

He’ll admit when Nesta sent him your way he was intrigued. You were like a beautiful puzzle. Completely put together but he still didn’t know what to make of you. You weren’t fae but you weren’t human either he could tell right off the bat.

He wanted to solve the mystery of you. At first. Yes, Nesta kept asking and asking about you. And he felt like he wasn’t the greatest spymaster when all he could tell her was he was working on it and to give him time.

He couldn’t deny the attraction towards you. He’d be an idiot to do so. But that didn’t mean he could act on it. It was obvious you didn’t think of him that way, and that you only liked a handful of fae—that being limited to Thesan and his lover.

But then you came to visit his court. And more eyes were on him. 

His brothers picked up on his little crush on you very quickly. Rhys put it together when Azriel came home after he brought you to the night court the first night. It was a simple action.

He talked about how frustrating you were, and then he couldn’t hide the smile on his face. Rhys obviously gave him so much shit for it. He was supposed to be trying to figure you out not figuring out a way into your bed.

Of course Azriel denied it. 

There was no denying it when almost the whole group, you included, landed at Rita’s. It felt good. It felt right. But he couldn’t stand how uncomfortable you looked after being poked and prodded with questions.

His shadow worked on it’s own though. He couldn’t believe that it just took your hilt. He managed to find a way out of it. Sort of. The match was harmless, but when you held out your hand to make a deal with him and he accepted without a second thought that’s when he knew he was fucked.

Cassian drilled into him later that night. Azriel never made bargains with anyone. His brother could tell that you were different to Azriel, you weren’t just anyone.

Later that night he found himself obsessing with the hilt that his shadow stole from your ankle. Amongst other tings. He kept the hilt by his bedside. 

If you were anyone else you would have lost that match. But you weren’t anyone else. No, as you two were fighting he felt it. The pull in his stomach. 

It should have been impossible but, somehow, around you a lot of things aren’t. He felt the thread that connected him to you and gave himself a shock. That’s why he leaped away from you. He didn’t know what to do or to say.

A mating bond between a fae and non-fae? That was unheard of, at least for him it was. 

He left as quickly as he could as soon as he got his bearings together. But it didn’t matter. The whole group had seen his response and smelt it on him right there. All but one of them didn’t bring it up at family dinner.

Amren.

Of course she wanted to talk about it. She was your close friend. 

She asked him straight up if he was going to tell you. He grunted and left the table. No one else said a word.

He didn’t know what to do or how to be around you now. There was this thing connecting you two and only he could feel it. He could feel your emotions coming down the bond but you couldn’t feel his. You didn’t have a bond with him.

He couldn’t look you in the eye after that. Too scared that he’d fess up. Or, that he’s mess up more like it. It was better to say nothing until you were gone back to the dawn court. 

That was supposed to be the end of it. Azriel was willing to ignore the bond and try to go on with his life. Or give it a couple of years and try to reach out to you to start fresh. But fate is tricky.

All of a sudden he was in the tea room of the dawn court. Something about a ball in the winter court. Of course Cassian didn’t tell him that you’d be joining them. 

He couldn’t keep his eyes off of you at the ball. He tried, he really tried. He talked to Mor, he shifted his body so that he wasn't in your direct line of sight. He tried. He just couldn’t stop looking for you, or at you.

Seeing you chat with Elias did feel like a pinch to the heart. He had no room to be jealous. You didn’t know about the bond. And he had a feeling that even if you did, you still wouldn’t like him in that way.

What shocked him the most was seeing you heal that young boy. It was like witnessing that type of magic he only heard about in children’s stories. You were more than a question, you are an impossible woman.

If this were a perfect would, he could love you.

But this isn't a perfect world.

And here you lay on the ground.

Azriel carefully wrangles your body into his arms. He looks down at you, worried and still just as confused about you as the day he first saw you. He walks back towards the palace with you in tow.

[discount-shades]

Dead or Alive: Family Part 2

Family Part 2

A/N: This is probably not what people expected, but its how I've always pictured it.

Pairing: Jake Seresin/Reader 

Warning: Western themed violence. 

Word Count: 2200 ish

Summary: You adjust to being a parent.

Previous  Masterlist Next

Angrily you slam the wooden bucket down under the spout and begin to work the handle of the pump, pouring your rage and frustration into the manual task. It had been two months since the Johnson siblings had come to live with you and Jake. Six souls reeling from the death of their parents a few weeks earlier. You knew it would be difficult adjusting to having children after almost two decades of it just being you and Jake, but this is even harder than you had ever suspected. 

There had been a town meeting when it became obvious that fifteen year old Emma had lied about an uncle coming to get them. When discovered, she had declared herself old enough to take care of her younger siblings and the saloon and brothel owner had offered her a job as a dance hall girl. 

Many had offered to take a few of the siblings, most wanting to take thirteen year old John, eleven year old William, and nine year old James. The three boys were a prime age for farm labour. You and Jake had discussed the possibility of taking in the children so when he had come home with all six in tow you were not surprised. Seven year old Anna and six year old Mary rounded out the half dozen. 

You stop pumping when the water nears the lip of the bucket. It wasn’t the boys that were giving you trouble. They had been among the group of schoolboys that were in awe of Sheriff Seresin. John had approached Jake soon after the children arrived, chest puffed out, trying to pretend he was older than his years, declaring that he was going to quit school and get a job in town to pay for room and board for his siblings. 

Unwilling to let the boy throw away his education, you and Jake had agreed to ‘hire’ John as farm hand to help with the milking of the cow and a few other farm chores. The younger boys had followed their big brother’s lead, staying in school and helping out around the farm. Jake’s assurance that they would need to complete their schooling if they wanted to be a sheriff would definitely keep wide eyed James in the classroom.  

“You are so full of shit.” you giggle at Jake that night in bed. “Did you even make it to the eighth grade?” 

“No,” Jake admits. “But that is a secret between the two of us, Sugar.” The town had recently built a new four room schoolhouse that went all the way to high school, and you and Jake had agreed that the goal was for the children to complete an education that you and Jake had not been able to. 

It had taken a while for sweet little Mary and quiet Anna to open up but they were adjusting to their new home. Though all of the children still grieved their parents, in time they had become more relaxed and less formal. You and Jake knew you could never replace their parents. Your goal was to keep the children together and hopefully keep them away from the lives you and Jake had led.

You take a deep breath before you pick up the bucket and head back inside to where Emma sulked in the kitchen, helping with the week's laundry. 

It felt like you and Emma had been cycling through the same arguments. First she was upset that you had started to do the laundry for her siblings. She had declared herself their true caretaker and insisted on doing it herself. So you had let her. Then she was upset and accused you of treating her like a servant. It was the same with any task you asked of her. 

You remembered the grief of losing your own parents too young and tried to give her space and understanding but your patience was wearing thin. 

“I wouldn’t have to do laundry if you had just let me work in the saloon.” You bite your tongue and carefully pour the water into the big pot on the stove top. It was not worth it to argue with the girl. “I could be making $50 dollars a night.” She exclaimed hotly at you, “He told me men would pay $1 for a dance from a pretty girl like me.” She stomps over to get in your face. “You are keeping me from supporting my siblings.” 

It was actually Jake who had threatened the saloon owner into rescinding his offer to employ Emma, forcing her to move into your home with her siblings, but now is not the time to bring that up. 

Scoffing, you raise your chin to meet her eyes. Despite her youth she was a few inches taller than you. “If you believe that you are more foolish than I ever was at your age.” You watch her cheeks flush as she draws back. “No dance hall girl is going to make $1 a dance anymore. Maybe twenty years ago but there are too many women in the county for men to be willing to pay that.”

“You’re just jealous.” She replies, her jaw clenched. 

‘Of what?” You can’t help the laugh that escapes you. There have been many times in your life that you have been envious. This was nowhere near any of them.

“That I am young and beautiful. If I was working in the saloon I’d be a dance hall girl. You are an old woman who steals children from their families. If you were working in the saloon you would be a dried up old whore who didn’t need to worry about getting pregnant.”

Emma’s vindictive smile leaves her face the second your hand makes contact and a part of you revels in the shock on her face. “If you were working in the saloon you would have been slapped weeks ago for your attitude.” you tell her coldly. 

“Who do you think does the washing for the whores?” Her hand is pressed to her cheek and she stares at you mutely. “The dance hall girls do the washing because they can’t afford to live off the money they get for dancing. The owner will charge you for rent, food, and force you to pay for clothing to wear while you dance, soon you will be in his debt.” 

You take a deep breath and continue now that you are on a roll. “If you are lucky some man will come along and take a liking to you and be willing to pay your debts and marry you.” Some of the defiance has left Emma’s expression. “I know this will happen because I have seen it.”

With some of her bravado returned, Emma looks you in the eye and asks, “Is that what happened to you and the Sheriff?”

You laugh bitterly. “No, I was not one of the lucky few who escaped with their virtue intact.” You tell her honestly. “Once you work as a dance hall girl no one will hire you. With no money to leave town most end up on their backs. It pays more than dancing, but the owners of the brothel will always find more fees to charge you to keep you in their debt.” 

Emma stares at her feet as you continue. “The easiest way out is death at that point. Every night you will think of the choices you made that took you to this point and think about how ashamed you folks would be if they lived to see what you have become.” At your final words you hear Emma sniffle and turn to run to the bedroom she shared with her sisters.

At the slamming of the door you let out a shaky breath and whip the tear gathered in your eye. You don’t like talking about your past. Jake knew of course, but no one else in town did. As far as anyone knows you have always been the respectful wife of a lawman. 

The water on the stove is hot so you dump it into the wash bin and grab the bucket to go fill the pot for the next batch. You don’t know if Emma will reveal your secret to the town. While filling up another bucket at the pump, regret creeps in. You wish you hadn't slapped her. You are not a violent person at heart and had previously only struck others in self defence. 

Maybe the slap was necessary. Maybe it was the only way you would be able to get through to the girl and have her realize that her ideas of working as a dancing girl were ludacris. You sigh and set to work washing the laundry of eight people by yourself.

– – – 

Dinner that night is quiet. The boys talking about the adventures they had gotten into outside and the little girls talking about the birthday party they had gone to in town.

You try to behave naturally as you eat your dinner but Jakes notices the difference in you and Emma’s sullen expression as she pushes her food around her plate. When you meet his eyes you can see the question in them. At a subtle shake of your head he doesn’t comment but you know you will have to tell him.

– – – 

“I don’t think she will say anything.” Jake says quietly later that night as his rough fingers trace circles on your thigh. You make a soft sound in disbelief. “She won’t,” he insists, “She’s just embarrassed by her ignorance.” 

“We’ll have to wait and see.” You try to put the thought out of your head. You had built a reputation in this town as a respectable woman. You would hate to see it ruined.

– – – 

In the weeks that follow you carefully monitor the townspeople's reactions to you. Every exchange is judged and replayed in your head, looking for any changes in behaviour. But you notice nothing outside of normal. 

Your interactions with the oldest child in your house have changed. The fight has gone out of Emma. At first it was a relief not to argue over everything but as the weeks become a month you begin to worry. She is still loving towards her siblings but a deep sense of grief seems to permeate her. 

It is wash day when you finally get her alone again. The little girls are tasked with filling the buckets but based on the time they have been gone you are sure they got sidetracked by the new foal in the pen near the pump. You are struggling to find something to say when Emma speaks first. “Did your parents die too?”

Momentarily shocked it takes you a moment to answer. “Tuberculosis. My parents and my baby sister all died.” You look at her as she raises her eyes to yours and you can see tear drops clinging to the lashes.

“Does the pain ever go away?” You can hear her breaths becoming ragged as you answer.

“Yes and no.” You tell her honestly. “It is always there but life continues and other things begin to take up space in your mind and your heart.” You watch the girl crumple before you.

“I don’t want them to be ashamed of me!” She cried out. When you go to place a hand on her shoulder, she flings her arms around you and you find yourself hugging the weeping girl. “All I wanted to do was to protect them and keep them together.” Without words to say you stand there holding her making soft shushing noises. 

When her sobs slow to a sniffle you guide her to a chair. “I was just so afraid that we would all be split up and the people who took them would treat my brothers like slaves and not take care of my little sisters.” 

“I know.” You say as you sit opposite her gently squeezing the hand that still clung to yours. “And your parents know that any choice you made was for your siblings and their safety.” You give her a kind smile. “They can not be ashamed of that.”

You sit in silence watching the emotions pay across Emma’s face as your words sink in. “Do you think your parents are ashamed of the things you’ve done?” 

Unlike her comments from before there is no malice in Emma’s question and you regard her thoughtfully before answering. “At the time I did,” you let your mind drift into the past. “But now I don’t. I’m older now than they will ever be, and have been for quite some time.” You give her a rueful grin and she ducks her head in embarrassment, remembering her previous comments on your age. 

“When you are young it is so easy to see the world in black and white, right and wrong. But as you get older you begin to see the world in shades of grey.” You get up and pour each of you a cup of tea from the kettle you keep on the stove. “Sometimes good people must do bad things to survive. And bad people are known to do good things.”

You hand her her cup and return to your seat across from her. “Which one was the Sheriff?” At her question you pause and regard her carefully.

“Why do you ask?” 

She blushes slightly before answering. “There’s this rumour in town that he used to be an outlaw, no one really believes it.”

“You hear the little girls coming up the steps with their water buckets. “No,” You give her a crooked smile. “Jake has always been one of the good ones.”

[stars-n-spice]

So, this is it, huh?

I figured the least I could do was write something down before shit goes down because I know after tomorrow I don't think I'll be emotionally available to do or say much about the show and what it and the fanbase means to me.

The last few days, my mind has been a whirlwind of emotions and I don't think I've ever really suspended my disbelief since it was announced that this would be the last season.

I felt like Po honestly, in Kung Fu Panda 2, when he's like "But I just got Kung Fu!" when they're talking about Lord Shen making that weapon that straight-up kills people who practice Kung Fu (I'm going somewhere with this just bear with me-) because I'm fairly new to the animated shows of Star Wars fandom and didn't start hyperfixating on Bad Batch until midway through Season 2 while those episodes were still releasing.

So when they announced that the 3rd season was the final season I was devastated. "What do you mean no more Bad Batch? I just got Bad Batch!" - I didn't want to believe it.

But here we are. Final season. Final episode.

I can't describe how the obsession started. It just did.

When the first season was coming out, I was still on Season 6 of TCW, so I got into it a little late. Then when it was over I immediately jumped into watching Rebels and became utterly obsessed with that show while Bad Batch just stayed, "Oh, neat show I watched."

Then the second season came out. I don't know how or when or why but suddenly something just went off in my brain and I became obsessed. I became attached. I fell in love with Wrecker in a way that I've never once felt or experienced towards any other fictional character, or person for that matter. I grew to understand Crosshair on a deeper level that made my heart ache for him and made me reflect on my own past and choices. Echo became a comfort character and an anchor in my life in where he's the first thing I think of when I'm down to put myself in a better mood. Suddenly I was ready to give Omega the universe and everything good in it. Tech became a lifelife (ironically) a hope that despite how I am and who I am, I'm capable of loving and being loved. And recently I've become so incredibly attached to Hunter because as the oldest child of five as well, I know that crushing weight of responsibility. Of failing your siblings. Of trying to be better.

This squad. This family. Cheesy as it is, I can't describe what they mean to me but Force, I'll try.

Recently I've been wondering why I'm so attached to this show and these characters. Jokingly, part of it is yes, the Bad Batch are lovely to look at and that does play a role in why I enjoy watching the show so much, but that's not completely it.

I think I speak for a lot of us fans when I say that I didn't fit in as a kid. I still don't even as an 'adult.' Look, I'm a biracial guy from two VERY different cultures that don't feel like home to me. On top of that, half of the time I don't know how to identify myself in gender and sexuality because I don't feel either most of the time. I'm introverted. I have anxiety. I probably have autism. I'm a burnt-out former gifted kid. I quite simply don't fit in.

"No, I'll stay. You guys don't fit in here either."

That? Yeah.

This show is for all those kids. Everyone who never fit in. Everyone who was told they were strange or weird, for the kids who ate glue in the back of the classroom, who were told they were too loud, who were put down because they didn't express emotion a certain way, for the kids who sat alone at lunch, who got left behind in their friend groups, for the kids who felt like they had no one so turned to harmful things, for the kids who were told they were special only to be discarded later in life, for the kids who don't know their place, don't know where they fit in and if they even do or ever will.

It's a show that tells those kids you're more than that. You're worth it. You're worth loving. You're worth protecting. You're worth the second chance. You're worth being loyal to. You're worth teaching. You're worth forgiving. You're worth it. You're worth it. You're worth it.

In the end there's hope for us. There's hope for all of us. And I think that's why I cling to tightly to this show. Why it means so much to me. Why I so desperately need these characters to make it out alive.

It's what Star Wars was from the start. About hope. About family. About loving and being loved and learning to love despite your circumstances. It's a show that took a bunch of neurodivergent absolute daddies and packed in so much angst but also feel-good moments with stunning animation, beautiful, moving music, and phenomenal voice acting. It's a show I can't help but love and love immensely because it feels like it was written for me.

For that kid who spent their recesses with their nose buried in an animal encyclopedia or talking to imaginary characters from their favorite books. For that kid who always felt so utterly useless and hopeless whenever they got less than an A- for a grade because they were supposed to be the gifted one. For the kid who struggled so much to be the older sibling they never asked to be. For the kid who just wants to find someone, anyone, who will love them as they are and fight for them. For the kid who valued loyalty above all else, always has, always will, and never gets it in return. For the kid who never fit in.

And well, whatever happens in the finale, I'm so grateful, so blessed, and so honored to have been a part of this journey with all of you.

[lvrhughes]

Rodeo | J. Drysdale

word count: 1.5k

pairing: Jamie Drysdale x f!reader

summary: it’s rodeo season, allowing you to bringing Jamie to one

warnings: drinking, uncomfy people?

requested: no

not my gif!

“Come on Jams, we’re going to be late!” you yelled through the space, right before Jamie walked out.

“Holy shit” you mumbled under your breath seeing Jamie walk out. He was fitted in some classic boot cut jeans, a very nice flannel shirt, cowboy boots, and his very own cowboy hat, you had made him buy. He looked spectacular. 

“I think I'm overdressed,” he said, looking down at his clothes.

“No no, baby you look perfect. You’ll fit right in.” you assured him, being dressed in a similar fit. You had convinced him to go to the rodeo with you this year, him being the only one who would agree to come, and being your boyfriend he felt a tiny bit obligated when you came to him sad that Trevor refused. 

“Now let's go!” you cheered, grabbing his hand and dragging him out the door, he had a small smile covering his face seeing your excitement for this.

 You made sure you got there nice and early to get the good seats and food, so now you both were waiting for the event to start. Just another half hour, but hey you guys had seats right by the gate. 

“Jaim, would you come dancing after?” 

he had a bewildered look on his face, he assumed it was only watching the rodeo and going home. He couldn’t dance like you.

“Baby, I don’t know how” he exasperated. 

“Babes, I’ll teach you, it’s fine. And it's just casual. You don’t need to be amazing or even know how.” He officially had no reason not to go.

“Okay”

“Okay?”

“Yeah we’ll go dancing after.”

You jumped up, very clearly happy with his answer, and pulled him into a bone crushing hug. He laughed, pulling his arms around your shoulders. A voice over the PA system broke your hug by informing everyone the event would start in ten minutes. You two were seemingly set, you both had food, drink, and good seats. Perfect.

“This is going to be the best day I've ever had Jams, thank you” you said, placing your head on his shoulder after you two had sat down. He didn’t say anything but place a lovingly gentle kiss on the top of your head. It was just peaceful waiting for the event to start but when it did, you were loud. 

“COME ON BOYS!” You cheered loud for all of them, it didn't matter if you knew them or not. Jamie was in awe, he knew you loved rodeos but never knew how passionate you were at them. By the time intermission was you both had run out of drinks so Jamie offered to go get you both more.

“What do you want Love?” 

“Just an iced tea please” you replied, placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

“An iced tea or a sweet tea?”

“Jam, we’re in Canada right now, an iced tea.” you laughed, he quickly joined you quickly,  realizing. And so he was off, the lines were horrible, and he spent most of the time in line complaining to himself. 

“Hey handsome” A voice came from beside him, his first thought was it was you, but quickly thought against that because you were keeping the seats. So slowly he turned, sure enough it was simply some random girl, sure she was pretty but to him no one was prettier than you.

“I have a girlfriend” he smiled towards the girl, but that didn’t seem to mean anything to her. 

“That’s okay baby, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her” she winked. 

“No, thanks” Jamie mumbled moving up in line, but she was persistent. 

“Just one night, I’ll change your life” She wouldn't quit, and it was annoying Jamie, even worse more girls had appeared. He assumed some of them just knew that he played hockey but the others were just trying to sleep with him.

Finally he made it to the front of the line, the group of girls had lessened after taking a few pictures with fans, but the original girl was still there. 

“One iced tea and a water please.” he ordered from the man behind the counter, he quickly got to grabbing the needed items. 

Jamie paid and started walking away, yet the persistent woman was still following him.

“Why did you get two drinks? You a thirsty boy?” She winked again, God this is cruel, Jamie thought.

“I told you I have a girlfriend, and one is for her,” he said, pushing past her towards you.  You saw Jamie and smiled at his return but it faltered for a second when you saw the woman following him and the annoyed look on his face.

His look softened when his eyes caught sight of you, calming you a bit. His boots clicked against the concrete as he returned. He was quick to drop everything and grab you instead, placing a passionate kiss to your lips. 

“What’s that for Baby?” You laughed, already guessing, it was to show that girl he was taken. He looked behind him to see the girl huff and walk away. A smile returned to his face, fully.

“I was being hit on, and she wouldn’t accept no.” he said, placing another kiss on your lips. You gladly returned his affection. 

“I told you, you look so good I might just have to keep you extra close tonight.” 

He laughed at that, then pulled you into his lap when he sat down. You gladly sat there until the events started again, then you were on your feet cheering when acceptable. 

By the end, you were definitely high on sugar, and Jamie was just happy you were so happy. He knew you’d crash soon, but it’s fun while it lasts.

“Come on Jam, we’ve got dancing to do, and another three days of this!” You had so much enthusiasm in your words it amazed Jamie how they weren’t screamed and they were all coherent. So he let you pull him along to where the dancing was, the bar area. 

“I’m going to go get a drink first, okay Love?” He almost asked, watching her nod her head before moving toward the dance floor. 

Jamie had gotten his drink surprisingly quick, and now he just had to find you. He also did that quick, finding you dancing around, he was mesmerized. His daze on you was snapped when another guy came over to you.

“Hey pretty lady” he said putting his hand on your waist, you were quick to push them off. 

“I have a boyfriend” you said before he could say anything else. His eyes darkened.

“Well if I was your boyfriend, I wouldn't leave you alone on the dance floor.” He pushed, “And you know, what he doesn’t know doesn’t hurt him.” He said, trying to put his hands back on you. Jamie was quick to walk over after that, wrapping his arms around your waist, placing a kiss on your neck. The guy quickly took note, but didn’t want to let go. 

“Fuck, your with him? You could be with so much better, like me.” You were done even being mildly nice to this asshole. Jamie didn’t even have time to try and stop you before you punched the guy. A nice crunch echoed after, blood flooded out of his nose, a whine escaping his lips right before he turned and walked away.

“Baby, what did you do?” Jamie asked, still a little confused.

“I punched him. Probably broke his nose too” you were definitely a bit proud.

“Baby, you shouldn’t have.”

“Jaim, i was not going to stand here and listen to him shit talk you. He had it coming.” Jamie nodded, he did have it coming, whether it was one punch from you or ten from some other guy who he chirped at. 

“C’mere, let’s properly dance.” And so you dragged Jamie towards a more clear area of the floor, ironically the first song to play was a slow song so you two danced together before using this time to teach him to line dance.

“Okay so it’s just a line, basically. You move one foot behind the other.” you gave instruction to Jamie, who was quick at learning this. It only took about 20 minutes to teach him the dance, so now you went up to the dj to request the song. He gladly accepted. A minute later the song was playing, everyone lined up, Jamie beside you. And everyone danced, all in sync, it was like something out of a movie. 

About two hours later, your feet were killing you, you were getting tired of being hit on by other dudes or Jamie being hit on by other girls, so you deemed you two should leave.

“Jams, can we go home?” you whispered by his ear, he nodded picking you up, making you giggle, and carrying you to the car. He placed you in the passenger's seat, doing your seatbelt up for you as well, before walking over to the driver's side. 

“Thank you for tonight Jam” 

He didn’t answer, he did, instead, placed a kiss upon your lips, trying to share every emotion he felt through it. 

“This was the best night I’ve ever had” you mumbled against his lips, he hummed in agreement before kissing you again, then heading towards home for the night.

[hopeymchope]

Having finally finished reading the DR Kirigiri light novels, here are my closing thoughts and questions.

(For background, I read these translations. Which - as I previously discussed in the first bullet of this post here - may have some small issues throughout.)

I've previously given y'all my report on how I felt / what I was thinking about this series just after passing the halfway point of the light novels, so now it's time for me to bring this whole thing home and offer some closing thoughts.

My first, dominating thought is that this would be so good to see adapted as an anime. I can easily imagine how many episodes it'd take to do each light novel and where you'd logically cut off the story... even more easy, though, would be a manga. It's definitely crying out for that kind of treatment.

Regardless of the (relatively minor) gripes I raise below? This is definitely a great series to read. You get a number of twisty, gripping mysteries, an easy-to-like lead duo, an imposingly powerful enemy force, new background on our favorite lavender-hued detective, and you even get some great new characters added to the mythos — what more do you want?

Okay, but now I'll get into the griping stuff :P For starters: Isn't it... kind of LAME to have Kirigiri repeatedly experience something so similar to the basic setup of DR1 (or any mainline Danganronpa game, really) on MULTIPLE OCCASIONS prior to DR1 ever happening??? But then she just never remotely reference any fo that experience? And YESs, of course I realize she never even obliquely references these events because these prequels weren't actually written by the time of DR1, nor even completed by DR3. But that's the kind of thing you typically want to avoid with prequels, right? ...... Even so, I guess this does take us farther into these stories deserving to be called "Danganronpa" than any other spinoff. And it's not hard to come up with excuses for why she never remotely hinted at these things; she's intentionally acting withdrawn and keeping info to herself throughout DR1 and DR3, after all. So it's not the WORST crime. It's just, like I said: kind of lame.

MORE SPECIFICALLY, let me clarify: Although the cases in DRK don't include a "mutual killing" element, you still get at least three cases where she's [1] trapped in a specific building alongside a group of people who include a killer/"mastermind," the cast subsequently being picked off one by one, and [2] said experiences are also broadcast to a viewing audience. In fact, you even get two cases where [3] the trapped participants are expected to take specific bedrooms to lock themselves in during the nighttime! And even [4] one case where there's a weird, automated "host character" overseeing the whole thing, which is being operated around a specific set of rules. That's a helluva thing, isn't it?

I've previously expressed GREAT TREPIDATION about one specific element of this series: I was told that supposedly, these light novels included evidence that Fuhito was manipulating Kyoko into hating her father, her dad was always a victim, and Kyoko never realized that she was basically molded from birth by someone who was manipulating her feelings and actions. It all made Kyoko considering Fuhito her "most imporant person" (per DR1 and UDG's captives) come off as this tragic tale where our supposed "master detective" never realized she's been a victim of gaslighting and manipulation for many years, which would change SO MUCH CONTEXT behind her life's work and her relationships with both Jin and Fuhito. HOWEVER, GUESS WHAT? None of that shit was even true! HUZZAH!!!! NOTHING in these light novels goes against what we already knew about Kyoko, Jin, Fuhito, or their relationship(s) with one another... though there is some minor new insight provided into a couple of details. We get a new look at how Jin actually cared about Kyoko from afar (via the "Jin Ex Machina" business I mentioned in the previous post), which is in line with the hints of his lingering love for her we tasted in both DR1 and DR3 without either exonerating him for his choices OR making him 100% correct. We repeatedly watch Kyoko questioning/doubting her grandfather's/family's longstanding "detective work must come above and before personal concerns" rules. And we also get a taste of Fuhito being protective of Kyoko when he learns of the kind of danger she's in — yet simultaneously having complete trust in her talent and ability to overcome said danger. Fuhito seems to even gently help Kyoko understand Samidare's actions near of the end of the final volume... although we only get a taste of his help via Kyoko's internal thoughts, so we don't know exactly what he said to her. TL/DR? My point is simply this: The DRK light novels keep the overall morality / goodness of Kyoko's family dynamics in the same place we already understood them from the games: Kyoko and Fuhito are very close and care about each other without being overtly emotional about it, there is a rift between Jin and the rest of his family over Fuhito priortizing case work above visiting his dying daughter on her deathbed, Jin clearly still concerns/cares that linger for his daughter, etc.

What's with so many scenes of "Black Challenges" or "Duel Noirs" having signs defaced to include the word "DESPAIR"? Is that just some extra branding for the main franchise's themes? Feels out of place.

I feel bad for all those orphans who adored this dude.

General thoughts on numerous new-to-DR characters: As I said in my last post about this series, Samidare is likeable but spends most of the series very thinly defined — plus she's pretty slow on the uptake. Thankfully, by Volume 4 she starts finally pulling her weight, and she gets some much-needed expansion of her background in Volume 7 (just in time for her to make some dumb decisions). Licorne is probably the second-most important new character, and he's an asshole. An interesting one, though! And he does some heroic things! .... even if he isn't really all that morally invested in helping people. He's a self-centered asshole for most of the series, frankly, and I don't care much whether he's around or not. Salvadore Yadorigi Fukuro is awesome; a straight-up superb character with a very "DR" kind of skill/talent. Yaki Hajiki is a character who's also hard to dislike, and I wish he got more "screen time," because he's very intriguing. Johnny Arp is a fascinating one, though he definitely shares some dickish behavior with Lico. Still, I'm always engaged when he's on the page. And... look, I'm fond of Meruko "Pumpkinhead" Mifune. She's fun, sure, but I also see real potential for depth that isn't explored herin.

My remaining observations/thoughts contain some spoilers for the Danganronpa Kirigiri series, so I'm putting the rest UNDER THE BELOW CUT... although I still avoid mentioning the identities of any culprits or masterminds so as to keep the primary case mysteries intact.

Yadorigi = Intelligent, quiet dude in sunglasses who looks like the answer to "What if Munakata found his chill?"

What, exactly, is the state of Yadorigi's eyesight by the end of the series? Initially, we learn that his unique eyesight is very important to his work in uncovering fraud. Later, after a blow to the head, we're told that his eyesight will never be the same as it previously was. In the final volume, he visits Kyoko while wielding a white cane. So uh... does that cane imply that SYF is now blind or very close to it? Or am I reading too much into a walking stick here?

Nothing infuriates me quite as much as when major problems in a story could be easily resolved via basic fucking communication, and a failure to communicate on a base level is absolutely CORE to why things go south in the seventh and final volume. By the time Kyoko and Yui are heading out to the case, the situation is this: Without Kyoko's knowledge, our redacted overarching mastermind (henceforth referred to as "ROM") tried to get Samidare to agree to be the culprit in this final Black Challenge. She refused. ROM then said their organization (the Crime Victim's Relief Committee) will eliminate Kyoko if Samidare doesn't play along. And then, right after saying this? ROM pretty clearly DIED right in front of Samidare, before she can ever express any intention of changing her mind or not. She is then confronted by the enigmatic Tokichiro Endo, who is basically the go-between for culprits and the organization, who demands her final answer. Based on what happens in the case immediately after this, it appears that this conversation somehow ended with Samidare refusing to be the true culprit in this case but ALSO accepting that she would be framed for the murders and take the fall. So now Samidare has a choice to make: Does she (A) trust the Crime Victims' Relief Committee to keep their promise and leave Kyoko alone so long as she keeps her mouth shut...... even though Samidare refused to meet their demands and become the case's culprit? OOOORRR does Yui (B) realize that the Committee has already broken their supposed "rules" by forcibly coercing her into being the culpri — not to mention the fact that they're routinely aiding and abetting murders — which adds up to mean that she can't trust their word and must warn Kyoko of the danger she's in now that the committee has threatened her life directly? Any thinking person should choose (B), but Samidare of course chooses (A) so the plot will happen. *FACEPALM*

The worst part of this is that EVEN when our two heroines have just barely escaped from a burning building and fled out into freezing conditions, leaving them on the razor's edge between two possible methods of death with everyone else from the case seemingly already being dead? Samidare STILL won't outright deny being the case's culprit when accused. With literally NO REASON LEFT not to come clean, she never says jack shit. And then she dies!

During the denouement, the conclusion Kyoko reaches after leaving the hospital and revisiting the scene is... murky, and I think this might be something caused by the translation methods used. It currently reads as though Kyoko reaches the correct conclusion about the case, accurately determining Samidare's innocent AND identifying the true culprit(s). However... she doesn't seem to be 100% confident in her decision? It sounds like Kiri still harbors some lingering doubts about Samidare possibly being guilty?..... Even though she sounds really confident in her (correct) conclusions immediately before that. So it's left ambiguous. Which, I suppose, is one way to maintain Kiri being the Best Detective while simultaneously leaving room for her line in DR1 about how her burns happened because she "trusted the wrong person." She almost entirely knows that she didn't actually trust the wrong person, but they have to leave some doubt so that line can exist? ...... IF this translation is even accurate on this part.

Say... why did Samidare believe she'd die on this mission? It wasn't actually any more inherently dangerous than any other mission her and Kyoko had gone on... LESS dangerous than some, I'd argue! But she prepares this whole letter for her eventual death, so she clearly thought it was a strong possibility. My only guess is that she believed Kyoko was going to be targeted for death, and she planned to fulfill her oft-promised role as Kyoko's human shield. But if that was REALLY something Samidare thought was going to happen, then she had NO REASON to not tell Kyoko the truth about everything. If they're already out to kill Kiri, then OF COURSE it's smartest to warn her about it! So: Why the "last letter"? What made you think you were fucked, Yui?

In the end, ROM's overarching mission is both a success and a failure. Do they take away Kyoko's main emotional attachment, making her withdraw even further into pure logic so she'll avoid getting hurt? Yes. Do they make her deny the value of such attachments in the first place, resulting in her staying isolated forever after? No. She 95% knows she's right about Samidare's innocence in spite of ROM's attempts to frame her; it's just the pain of the loss that makes Kyoko withdraw, not some grander conclusion about distrusting everyone. In fact? I'd argue that Kyoko's speech in DR1's Chapter 4 about accounting for emotions is a strong rebuke of ROM's entire view of the world.

....by the way, does ROM have their own copy of Junko's talent??! It sure seems like they're another "Ultimate Analyst," essentially; able to see patterns of behavior so clearly that they can essentially predict most future events.

[didnt-hear-idsb-live-again]

hi im new here can you give a brief rundown of like you lol?? where youve lived, jobs, partners, interests, give me the idsb lore please!!!!!

hi!! sure, I have a lot of new followers and I was just thinking the other day abt this and how my blog is like 70/30 my personal life v Taylor so that must be confusing for new people. so yes! here's the spark notes:

My name is Holly and I just turned 28! I grew up outside of Boston and lived in NYC for ~10 years after I went to art school there. I dropped out of college after one semester to pursue my actual dream of touring with artists. After I dropped out I spent a while willingly homeless in NYC so that I could establish myself & my career there. Eventually it worked & I had been doing freelance photography, videography, graphic design and merch sales as steady income since ~2017. I was in a 5 year, emotionally abusive relationship with my high school sweetheart and finally ended it in 2018. A bit after this, I went to Australia for the first time with my then-friend now-boyfriend (Nov 2018). I've been obsessed with Australia since I was like 5 years old and it was an incredible adventure. I spent about 3 weeks there alone without then-friend, and during those 3 weeks met a Man. The last night we spent in Australia on this trip was Christmas Eve, and said man invited me to have an outdoor Love Actually screening and have a wine picnic with him and all his friends. it was one of the best nights of my life. We hooked up and he singlehandedly cured some sex-related fears I had from the previous relationship and I couldn't stop thinking about it for months. Back in America (Jan 2019) I entered my hoe phase in a never-ending quest for validation and slept with every guitarist I'd ever worked with while meanwhile having a big mental breakdown. Enter a John Mayer vibing man we called the Guitarist here, and a lot of Bad Shit he did to me in his own validation quest mental breakdown (May-August 2019). Clearly my only choice was to fly back to Australia to see the other guy! And I did (September 2019)! Then I was mega depresso when I went home bc my life felt hopeless & I'd already lived out all the hope it had going for it :) I continued my hoe phase and chronicled it via Spice Nights where I’d just answer nsfw asks and give advice for like 8 hours straight. This is waxing over it but it was chaotic and I cannot understate the Depression (Feb 2020).

Then the pandemic happened whomp whomp. I lost all my gigs and posted about it on Tumblr dot com, this blog gained a very large following sort of bc of being a Taylor blog and sort of bc of live-blogging all the drama. ms Taylor Swift saw it and she sent me $3,000 to cover my rent for all of lockdown. a lot happened as a result of that but in the end I realized it was not smart to stay in NYC and spent summer 2020 roadtripping around the US with my then-friend who had first come to Australia with me, who had since joined the leagues of guitar-playing-employer-i-was-sleeping-with (there were 4 in total but I was in loveeeeee w this one). Big Cruel Summer vibes. my friend group exploded partially as a result of my behavior and partially bc they were cunts who didn't care about John Mayer vibe man manipulating me. So then I said fuck it and moved to Montana to work in a national park w guitar guy I Actually Loved who had become my boyfriend at that point, and we lived there until winter 2021. Then I started touring again, got insanely successful, was making more money than most people I knew with salaried jobs and booking work all over the world, my relationship ended over some drama I found out about way after the fact but then we got back together & moved in together (May 2023). Going great. Then I got so fucking burnt out from my job I was like stop the presses I am fucking off to Australia I can't do the music industry and the mega late-stage capitalism anymore. so now I live in Melbourne and am a bartender at a fancy cocktail bar and my relationship is sort of a LDR but I’m going home soon maybe(?) and that is what you missed on Glee!!!!

[apocalypse-cowboy]

Note: So I've decided to move some of my own fanfic work over here just for shits and giggles :) idk what else to say about it lol

Summary: A "normal" day in the firehouse for the Ghostbusters.

Warnings: a little angsty at the end but otherwise it's pretty happy. My Ghostbusters OC Scout belongs to me (obviously lmao) Egon also might be a little OOC idk I think I did pretty well :)

Nerds Of A Feather

It was a quiet evening at the firehouse. Which was rare considering the people who reside there and the nature of their job.

Peter Venkman, Ray Stantz, Winston Zeddemore, Egon Spengler and his younger brother Scout Spengler.

Peter was a handful on his own, with his snarky personality and flirtatious remarks towards any woman who breathed in his general direction.

Ray was the heart of the Ghostbusters. His child-like wonder for all things paranormal and his love and loyalty for his friends was a nice thing to have around.

Winston was the most 'normal' of the group. He had laid back yet professional attitude. He was a good friend and hard worker, courtesy of being a former Marine.

Now, Egon and Scout...they were a little tricky. They both had a nack for anything scientific, yet they had atrocious social skills. Don't get them wrong, they have their goofy moments with the other Ghostbusters, they were just on the more serious side of things.

They were only a couple of years apart, but Egon always treated Scout like he was a baby. He is the OLDER brother after all. It's something that he uses to tease his sibling with on a daily basis.

Despite the clash of so many different personalities under one roof, it was a beautiful chaos that just felt right.

It was a slow day at Ghostbusters HQ. They had a few calls come in earlier in the day, but things slowed down after lunch. Sure there were still calls but they were few and far in between and they were just minor situations.

Egon and Scout were huddled up in a corner of the basement, each of them focused intensely on their respective hobbies. Egon was analyzing his spore, mold and fungi collection while Scout was nose deep in a book about various flora and fauna and taking heavily detailed notes.

It was a comfortable silence. They had shared it so many times ever since they were kids. The others were out getting some Thai food for dinner, so they wanted to bask in the silence while they still could.

The familiar sound of the Ecto-1's siren, Peter must have turned it on again, and the opening of the garage door was a sign that they were back. When Ray pulled in and parked the garage door shut obnoxiously, but it didn't seem to break the Spengler brother's concentration.

Peter was the first one to get out of the car with one of the bags of take-out "Honey! I'm home!" He said as loudly as possible, even though he knew well that the brothers were less than a few feet away. Ray and Winston get out of car after him and roll their eyes at Peter's actions "I'm surprised they haven't killed you yet." Winston remarked, holding a second bag. Egon and Scout share a mischievous look "Well, we were planning to." Egon said with a teasing tone still focused on his task. Scout nodded "We have a very detailed plan. We are just waiting for the right time to execute it." He gave a smirk over his shoulder to Peter who scoffed in fake annoyance. "I cannot believe what I'm hearing right now." He sighed dramatically and paused for more effect "My own friends...plotting my death so casually." He motioned to the bags of food and around the room "After all I've done for you...this is how you treat poor Peter Venkman?" The siblings only snort in amusement and shake their heads at his antics.

Ray chuckled and grabbed Peter, dragging him with them to the kitchen "Come on guys! Dinner is served." The two men nodded, though not moving just yet.

Egon finished up what he was doing and look at the younger man "You almost done?" He asked. Scout only nodded and motioned him to go ahead "I'll be there in a minute." He mumbled as he wrote down notes from the book he was reading.

Egon only nodded in response and patted his brother's shoulder. He knew it would be more than a minute, Scout had a habit were if he was invested in something so much, it would take him a bit to come back out of it. Egon silently walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table with the food for him and Scout.

Peter looked up and saw that Scout wasn't with him and sighed. "Rock, Paper Scissors for who has to go and get Scout?" Ray and Winston nodded. It went: Peter Vs Winston with Peter winning and then Peter Vs Ray....

Ray won.

Peter rolled his eyes muttering something about 'It's always me.' and he went into the garage seeing that Scout was still hunched over the desk still taking notes.

Peter didn't bother being quiet about it and walked quickly behind him and picked him up from underneath his arms.

"Okay NerdZilla, time to eat so you don't starve." He remarked literally dragging him into the kitchen and sat him in the seat next Egon, while said man slid the food in front of him.

They all joked and talk with each other as they ate. It wasn't the most ideal way of living, but it was worth every second that they all got to spend together. Just spending time in the company of a small close-nit family was always worth the stress of their daily life.

After they cleaned up their mess, it was late. They had decided to clean themselves up and change into their pajamas, and they watched a shitty movie while laughing at the horrible writing and acting.

Scout leand into Egon, finding comfort in his brother getting ready to fall asleep despite the boys laughing and joking loudly.

His long dark hair in his face slightly as Egon held his sibling close to him. He was the only one he was comfortable the most with showing physical affection to. Scout smiled at his beloved brother and spoke "Egon?" He whispered quietly, threatening to nod off to sleep at any moment. The taller man looked down at him, directing all his attention to his brother "Hmm?" He hummed in response. "Do you think we'll all still be like this in the future?" He asked quietly. The other's face dropped slightly, he didn't want to get any hopes up, but he also didn't want to upset his brother by saying no. So after debating in his head, he nodded "Yes, I think so." He tightened his grip on his brother and looked around at the others who were laughing and joking to their hearts content. "I think...there is a high probability that we will stay like this for a long time." He nods in reassurance, he wasn't sure if it was for himself or for Scout. Maybe both. Scout smiled and closed his eyes to fall asleep on his shoulder "I think so too." Egon smiles softly and turns his attention back to the movie and his friends, a small smile that was filled with hope for the future of his group of friends.

If only they knew what the future had planned for them. The heartbreak and hatred and loss that they would feel soon was going to be painful...For all of them..

[namjoonscoffeeshop]

Dear Namjoon | 05

✧ Pairing: Kim namjoon x reader ✧ warning(s): explicit language, suggestive content, mature content ✧ genre: angst,fluff,smut,slow burn ✧ synopsis; You're sent to live with your father and older brother. only that your older brother is in a band called BTS. you meet jimin's friends and automatically get tangled with one of his band members. you're relationship has to be kept a secret but for how long can you keep it that way?

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once you woke up, you found that not just your lips were swollen due to how much namjoon sucked on them but your eyes were puffy due to you crying.

you go wash up, and come out with at towel wrapped around your body. you kept looking at the marks that decorated your skin in the mirror. and you felt dumb because deep inside you want him to touch you and kiss you. maybe friends with benefits is fine.

picking an outfit good enough to cover the marks , you then begin to pick up the clothes from the floor. only to find that he left his tie in your room. picking it up you get angry again and toss it into your closet inside your suitcase before shutting it

"asshole"

jimin and dad came home earlier, since jimin rushed him. not liking the idea of you being alone a whole night.

he walks into your room, you were laying in bed. "hey sis" he jumps on the bed hugging you

"hey mochi"

"did namjoon leave after dropping you off?" he lays his head on your lap, your fingers begin to brush his hair

"yeah, he said he had plans"

"nice, i owe him one for bringing you home" he closes his eyes and relaxes as you comb his hair

"i think he took it really serious when you said i was off limit"

"he better"

you chuckle at his words "why you bring it up?, don't tell me you like him" he asks

"no" you answer quickly

"i was just wondering why you said that" you bite your lip, hoping he'd tell you, he sighs

"he a fuck boy, he uses girls for his own pleasure and later on leaves them. i just don't want him to pull that shit on you. i saw how he looked at you"

"everyone was looking at me"

"nope, his eyes were undressing you"

"your so extra" you laugh

his arms wrap around your waist "let me sleep here, you don't know how much i've missed you" he pouts

"ok" he rolls over and gets under the blanket, you turn off the light, he hugs you.

"goodnight"

"night"

jimin fell asleep first that night, for the first time in a while i stayed up all night thinking about everything that happened today.

-----

when jimin woke up he looked at you for a while, at some point he hated his parents for separating the two of you. and thats why he tried so hard to keep a good relationship so he wouldn't become a stranger to you.

but right now it was time for revenge, for what you did to him. he snickered at how you always looked angry as you slept, and thought it would be funnier to just take a photo of you. grabbing his phone he opens the group chat with the other guys

BANGTAN CHAT - Jimin POV

y/n kicked me out of the bed yesterday

tae: that's the most random shit you have ever said

you don't understand it hurt like a bitch, but i can't do that to her. so i got other plans

hobi: and why are you telling us this

namjoon: cause he has no other friends

fuck you, and its cause of this

jimin sits up and takes a photo of you sleeping, sending it to the group chat

i might not be able to kick her off the bed but this is good enough for revenge. now i'ma wake this kid up so see y'all at school.

tae: did he just send us a photo of his sister sleeping

jungkook: she's gonna kill you, you know that right?

yoongi: someone show her the photo and if she kills him, no one help him. he deserves it

----

what jimin didn't know is that he just gave namjoon a photo of y/n. namjoon smiles at the photo

"shit maybe if it's her...it wouldn't be so bad" he saves the photo

i woke up to jimin sticking his finger into my ear and it was wet

"what the fuck, why is your finger wet" i clean my ear

"oh cuz i licked it" he laughs, jumping off the bed "get ready for school" he says with a smile ear to ear

once again you went with jimin to school, cause you were too tired to drive. today was weird because the guys just kept looking at you and jimin was acting cocky all morning

"do i look funny today or what" you were getting irritated at their stares, especially namjoon's

hoseok then walks up to you and jimin yells his name "hey you wouldn't" jimin points at him, and hoseok takes his phone out showing you the group chat. taehyung is holding back his laugh at the view of a very stressed out jimin. who is slowly getting off the desk.

you grab the phone and read the conversation until you scroll and see your photo. you look up at jimin with dagger eyes "you asshole!" you hand hoseok his phone back, as you walk to jimin, who's hiding behind taehyung

"you kicked me off the fucking bed" he yells

"bitch you stuck you nasty finger in my ear" taehyung is being pushed around. as you try to get a hold of jimin

your face was beet red at the thought they all saw the photo, but what made you blush even harder was that namjoon saw the photo. only making you wanna strangle your brother even more.

he pushes taehyung towards you as he runs for the door, you turn, trying to grab him but trip over your bag you had carelessly tossed on the floor.

namjoon quickly gets up and his arm wraps around your waist as he catches you. you tense up at his touch, but you stand straight and look at him. before you pick up your bag, sticking your middle finger at jimin. you leave the rooftop. leaving everyone but namjoon confused.

"shit, is she that mad?" jimin asks concerned

taehyung being his own curious self he was more into why there was a awkward tension between the two you.

----

once it was lunch time, jimin said he had to go to a class for some help. and said to go make friends instead.

i was planning to just go to the rooftop before i got a message from namjoon. telling me to meet him in the same class from yesterday. hesitant at first. i decided i should go and hear what he has to say.

you walk the same hall as yesterday. making sure no one was looking at you as you enter the last classroom. you find namjoon sitting on the desk just like yesterday

"hey" he smiles

"what do you want?" he raises his brow at my tone.

"come here" he motions you to come closer to him. and you do, you stand in front of him. his hands reach for your waist pulling you towards him, as he leans on the desk. "i'm sorry alright"

you look away from him, with your arms crossed

"look i'm not really good at relationships. but if it's you it's worth giving a try" he gives your waist a little squeeze "what do you think?"

"i don't know you said i should listen to my brother more, and well my brother said your a fuck boy" you stare at him, trying to hurt him with your words like he hurt you but it didn't work

he just chuckles at your words "didn't i just say i'm not good at relationships, plus there were more reasons to why those relationships failed. but i don't gotta tell your brother everything" you just stared at him, angrily.

"come on babe don't be mad" he pouts

"don't call me babe" you frown

"why"

"because we aren't dating"

"but you like it when i call you babe or actually" he presses your body against his "or how you body reacts when i tell you your a good girl" he whispers by your ear making you tense up

putting your hands on his chest, you put distance between you both "you are saying everything except what you should be saying"

"oh yeah?, and what's that?" he tilts his head, making you more frustrated

"i'm just kidding, geez" he laughs

"wanna be my girlfriend"he presses his forehead against yours

"i don't know, let me think about it" you peck his lips, as you push him away. ready to walk away but he holds onto you tighter "i don't think so" he grabs your chin as he kisses your roughly

changing positions he sits you down on the desk, your arms wrapped around his neck. his hands propping himself up on the desk . enjoying the kiss, he smirks against your lips.

"you aren't gonna answer"

"hmm answer what"

he sighs "i gotta repeat myself?" you just stare at him in silence

"go out with me"

"alright" he smiles and leans in to kiss you but you pull on his hair making him groan

"make me cry again and i will tell my brother"

"did i make you cry" he pulls your hand away from his hair, giving it a kiss.

you don't respond at all

"sorry alright" he kisses you again and again. making you melt at his touch.

"you know it's gotta be a secret right" he presses his forehead against yours, "hmmm, does it?" he smirks

"yes! i'm serious namjoon"

"i like people knowing what's mine though"

"it's my brother, i don't think you need to be territorial with him"

"he said you were off limits, i promise i won't ever say it. i just hope you don't make us get caught" his dumb brushes against your bottom lip.

" we can meet here every time. no one uses this room" he smiles

"how do you know? fucked one of your other bitches here?" you bite his finger, making him grin

"don't be a jealous girlfriend, you gotta trust me. and you're not one of my bitches, so no i wouldn't take you to does places" "Plus I wouldn't be fucking you, I'lol be making love to you "

"it's just you from now on"

------

after making out for a while longer, he says you guys should go already. and you followed him to the court yard where he read his book. and you scrolled through your phone

" i heard you guys will be getting fan mail"

"yeah, they said something about that" his eyes don't leave his book

"y/n, thats where you were" jimin enters the court yard

"i thought i told you to make friends, not to go hang out with namjoon"

"ouch, for your information i found your lonely sister sitting here alone. no need to thank me for giving her company" he shrugs, giving you a wink without jimin noticing

"you're a lost cause y/n" he sighs, sitting next to you. "namjoon you ready for later?" jimin says excited

"yeah sure why not" he response was rather dry, he didn't look interested

"don't mind him, when he's reading he doesn't pay attention to anyone" jimin sighs

"you wanna come along?" he looks at you

"yeah, i'll go" jimin nods.

you guys stay there until the bell rang.

-----

after getting to the club, you realize a bunch of kids from school were also there. jimin explained that were was some sort of concert. they left you alone once more as they went to go get ready for this performance.

jin sits next you, giving you a glass of orange juice. "how did you like our performance the other day" he asks

"i think your guys are awesome, what jimin would tell me over the phone doesn't give justice to how hard you guys work" you take a sip of the juice.

"thanks" he smiles, satisfied with your answer

your phone rings, and you take it out to find a message of namjoon, telling you to go through red doors near the bathroom.

"uh ima go to the bathroom" you put the cup on the table, jin smiles at you as you walk away. going through the crowd

you walk pass the bathroom, seeing a lot of red doors everywhere. taking out your phone your about to call namjoon, but someone grabs your arm and pulls you into one of the room making your scream.

they cover your mouth with their hand and you hit their chest

"it's me, calm down"

"namjoon!" you whack him again "what are you doing" he laughs

"i wasn't sure if anyone was out there, sorry" he gives you a hug

"i wanted to see you before we went up, jimin said he's taking you home after"

"oh.." you look around, seeing a lot of instruments everywhere, your eyes stopping at the violin

"you play?" he walks up to the violin, handing it to you

"a long time ago, i don't think i can even play a child song at this point" you chuckle

"who knows"

"lets hang out tomorrow?"

"when??" you place the violin where namjoon had picked it up from

"after school, the guys are all planning to hang out, jimin will be there. i'll tell them i got some plans, you just tell jimin that he should spend some time without you" his eyes crinkled as he laughed

"ok, but i think my dad is gonna be home tomorrow so.."

"don't worry you can come to my place" nodding, you guys hear the announcements, and you hear an angry jimin calling out namjoon to get his ass to the stage

namjoon quickly puts his hand behind your neck, as he leans in for a kiss "i need to recharge" he mumbles, he takes your bottom lip into his mouth and sucks lightly.

"fuck, i gotta go but. tomorrow alright!" he points at you as he walks out the door

waiting for a bit, you hear the music start. taking it as your cue you walk out and head to where the stage is.

you see multiple people in suits, they have clipboards and are looking up to them, two guys catch your attention. their heads bopped to the music. looking at the clip board you catch a glimpse to the name 'Bighit Entertainment'

-----

once they got off stage, many people went up to them with business cards. namjoons steps up and takes all of them as the other guys head to the back. jimin signals you to head to the back as well. you walk slowly as you also keep your attention at namjoon who was talking to all the men in suits

"y/n hurry" jimin calls out to you

"he's getting a lot of cards" you tell jimin

"i know, isn't it exciting" jimin smiles making his eyes disappears as he smiles, you nod. happy to see him so bright

"let me change and we can head home"

namjoon was good at not glancing at you or talking to you that it made you sort of uncomfortable. cause all you wanted to do was look and talk to him. instead you talk to jungkook seeing how his eyes twinkled as he told you about the song they were singing.

"your very passionate huh" my mouth curved into a smile, his happiness being contagious.

he nods "i just wanna be good enough, so i can go with them" and he looks up to the guys, your eyes follow where he was looking. "i think your great?"

"yeah but what if i'm not good enough"

"thats bullshit on a stick, if they don't want you then you go to another one. anyways they won't leave you behind" your brows knitted

"yeah, your right. that's why i'm afraid to be the one to hold them back" his eyes gleamed with sadness and you did the one thing you could think of

i karate chopped the back of his neck

"y/n what the fuck? that hurt" he gets up, massaging his neck.

"thats for thinking the way you are, you can't be negative about things." everyone was looking at you guys since jungkook raised his voice

"fuck but did you have to hit me" jungkook whines, only to get pinched by jimin "don't talk to my little sister like that"

"she's not wrong, if they want one of us they gotta take all of us"

-----

the next day you drove to school, instead of going with jimin. since you were gonna head to namjoon's place after school.

and just as planned you made sure to tell your dad you were gonna hang out with some friends, yes you hadn't made new friends. but you knew some people from before you moved.

and just like namjoon said, jimin asked if you wanted to go with him. but you told him to hang out with his friends without you. ever since you came to live here he takes you everywhere with him.

you told him you were gonna hang out with old friends and he didn't suspect you at all. namjoon texted you his address, and you head over to his place.

ringing the door bell, a smiling face greets you as he opens the door

"your here" he reaches his hand out, you grab it and he pulls you inside. your back is leaning against him as he takes off your jacket. only to hang it up.

"what did jimin say"

"nothing, he was fine with it" he nods, walking into the living room. he sits down.

he was wearing his glasses again, and you loved how he looked with them "do you use your glasses to just read?" you ask as you see the book on the table

"yeah"

you sit down next to him, a little distance between the both of you

"are you hungry? we can order something" he asks, taking out his phone. right now you weren't thinking about food, for the first time ever you were feeling horny over namjoon. you wanted him to touch you.

you glance at his lips "uh sure, what do you wanna get"

scrolling through his phone he isn't aware of your stares

"namjoon"

"yeah?" he answers without looking at you

I felt flustered at the thought that he suddenly didn't wanna have sex. i thought he invited me over for that reason.

you felt like he was trying to respect you but right now you didn't want him to respect you. gathering your courage, you grab his phone. putting it down. he looks up at you, as you get up and straddle him, placing his hands on your waist

"do you really wanna order food right now" he's shocked at your sudden acts but doesn't let it phase him

"well, i don't know...do you have something else in mind"

"i want you to touch me.."

"yeah?" he smirks

pushing him to lean back agains the couch you leave kisses on his neck, he doesn't react to your touch making you irritated. you begin to suck on his skin just like he did to you. his hands already groping your ass, as he rolls your hips against him.you feel at how he right away started hardening.

"you sure you want this"

"yes" you were greedy for his touch already. he presses your ass against his hardened length, making you bury your face at the crook of his neck. trying to hide your beet red face.

as he kissed you he kept tilting his face to try and kiss you but his glasses were getting in the way. frustrated he pulls away, taking off his glasses. tossing them tot he other side of the sofa. "they were getting in the way" you giggle

your body started moving on it's own at this point, this man makes you loose all your common sense.

"good girl, keep grinding on me" his voice sounds raspy, you fasten your pace, and he finally had enough.

he picks you up, tossing you over his shoulder as he walks upstairs to his room. locking the door behind him.

laying you on the bed, he pulls his shirt over his head, you feel a lump in your throat as you feel the butterflies in your stomach again.

it's gonna happen for real this time.

he wastes no time to undress you, he stares at your body. especially all the marks he left on your body "it was dark yesterday in your room i didn't get a good look at you, but now i can see you properly"

"don't say that" you cover your face

"why not?" he kisses your stomach, as you squeeze your thighs together

"cause it's embarrassing" smirking at your words, he grabs your thighs. spreading them "i didn't mark here" he begins to kiss you inner thighs, sucking on the skin.

"wa-wait not there" you whimper as he nibbles on your skin.

my mind is empty, i can't think straight.

you feel him blow at your heat, making you moan "na-namjoon not there" his grip on your thighs tighten, not letting you close your legs

your core is aching for him. he's making you feel a way you've never felt before. "your dripping" his fingers rubbing against your clit

"your sure you want this? once i start, i won't be able to stop myself" uncovering your face you see his fingers in his mouth again, as he licks his fingers off.

you nod

"use your words"

"yes namjoon, just fuck me already please" you stare at him as he undresses completely, reaching into his drawer to get a string of condoms out. he rips one open, pumping himself a few times before putting the condom on

"alright, i'll be gentle" he positions himself between your legs, your feel the tip of his cock rubbing against your clit smearing the wetness at your entrance

"look at me" he says with his raspy voice. his hand is on your waist holding you in place, you feel the tip of his cock enter you and you whimper at the sudden stretch

"hold on babe, it'll feel better soon" he grunts, laying his head on your shoulder. trying to control himself from fucking you senseless. the rest of him sinks into you slowly, making you moan as your walls stretch around him. "fuck your so fucking tight" he groans, brows pinched together. his mouth agape. your pull him into a kiss, and he moans.

a completely new feeling appears inside your stomach, your walls clench around this thick length. you feel a sense of pleasure and the knot releases making you moan

"fuck" namjoon looks at you "did you just cum from me just entering you" his forehead has drops of sweat

"cum?" you whimper, your mind completely gone

"fuck you're so innocent" sitting up he grabs your hips lifting them up, he grabs a pillow placing it underneath your hips

"i can't control myself no more" you look at his abs, your eyes look down and you see him inside you. making you wonder how he even fit. your walls clench around him even more as you think about it.

"fuck do you want my cock that badly" he pulls out enough to just leave his tip inside you, just to thrust into you, your whole body shivering with pleasure

he increases his pace and your a mess under neath him. unconsciously you spread your legs even more. making him smirk

"its sexy that you're spreading your legs for me, do you want it deeper" he grunts, as he thrusts into you once more "don't worry i'll hit all your good spots"

you thug your nails in his back, as he fastens his pace. "y/n you feel so fucking good" the pleasure was immense, every time he touched you his body screamed with pleasure, everything about you made him delirious. like every other time he had sex was meant to be with you.

you feel the feeling in your stomach again "namjoon i-"

"cum for me babe" his lips meet yours as he kisses you eagerly, after a few more thrust you cum for a second time, i cry out as he continues to pounce into me, reaching his own orgasm. his thrust get sloppy, he growls at the last few thrust before he releases into the condom. letting out little breaths as he tries to calm down

he brings his lips to yours kissing you roughly, his hand makes his way to your clit, entering two of his digits into you. you whine at the overstimulation

"wait namjoon" you whimper

"what" he growls

"i can't anymore" you grip his shoulders. he takes his fingers out of you, sitting up. you see his cock hardened again.

he takes off the used condom, tying it up he tosses it to he bin next to the bed

"babe i didn't take out just one" he picks up the string of condoms, a smug look appears on his face

"i'm tired"

"please" he kisses your inner thighs

"one more time" you stare at his dick, seeing how it twitches and it makes you feel good that you could make him hard so quickly

"fine one more time"

"get on all fours"

"what?"

"just be a good girl and listen" he slaps your thigh, you get up. getting on all fours as he lifts your ass up more.

"fuck your so fucking beautiful" you blush at his compliments

opening another condom he puts it on, wasting no time he thrusts into you. his grip on your waist tightens as he thrusts into you again.

"where the fuck have you been all my life" his heart tightens every time he rolls his hips into you

you whimper at his words, your hands griping onto the bed sheets

"namjoon" you moan his name

"yes" he grunts

"harder" you say weakly

"what ever you want" and he does exactly as you asked pulling out, he thrust harder into you making you gasp for air.

"fuck this feels so good" you manage to say, eyes shut close as the pleasure rushes through your entire body

namjoon focuses at how he disappears inside you, he bites his bottom lip. fastening his pace

"wa-wait i feel like i'm gonna pee" you whine

"just do it" namjoon groans

"wh-what"

"don't worry baby just squirt" not being able to argue with him, you feel yourself cumming again

not long after namjoon shoots into the condom again, he pulls out and you fall flat on the bed once he lets your waist go

"fuck..i can't get enough of you" he kisses your back, sucking on the skin

"namjoon i can't no more" you whine

"once more please" he continues to suck on your skin

you look at the string of condoms seeing there are three more left

"i really can't move"

"don't worry you won't have to get up"

"fine"

changing his condom once more he lays behind you, spooning you "alright" he lifts your thigh giving him space so he can slip inside of you, hands cupping your breast. as his other hand rubs your clit

"n-namjoon" you moan, he continues to thrust into you, bitting onto your shoulder making you whimper. "fuck i wanna know how it feels to fuck you raw" he moans

and the idea of him inside of you without any barrier made your walls clench around him

"shit, does that idea excite you" you couldn't last long this time, cumming shortly after. he followed you too

"y/n.." he groans

"no namjoon, i won't be able to walk" you lay on your back, hand on your stomach, as you still feel as if he was inside you. looking at namjoon he's covering his face with his forearm. you look down and see his dick, hard and up against his stomach

"what the hell are you" you laugh

your phone rings, making you reach for your skirt that was on the floor, you see it's jimin's number

[starchaserdreams]

Erm, hello!

I am an aspiring writer. I have these stories in my head that I love and want to write about. But when I try, it's the absolute worst shit I've ever seen in my life.

Sorry, what I'm trying to ask is, any tips for younger writers who have no idea what they're doing...?

Hi! I have no idea what I'm doing ever, but I'll try to answer as best as I can. I'll start with generic advice, then say what works for me specifically. Sorry this got so long.

We're all kind of fumbling through life. The writing habits that I have have come from three sources:

a) hearing what other people do and building from them. I'm always in one writers group or another (currently I'm in a local writers group, and I'm regularly involved with two different NaNoWriMo groups in November, one locally and one virtually) and I've picked up a lot from them

b) a metric fuckton of trial and error. Because while part (a) is great some of the time, most of the things that work for other people don't work for me. I can't set a strict schedule at the same time everyday. I can't edit for a long time after I write.

c) NaNoWriMo (see link) helped me SO MUCH. I don't think everything can be written that way, but in terms of getting a handle on your own voice, preventing yourself from stopping to edit, and letting the story flow on its own, NaNo is amazing. It's a great starting point. Editing can come later, once the words are done on the page.

If you're unfamiliar, it's a (totally free) event that happens in November every year where everyone tries to write 50,000 words of a brand new novel in the span of one month. That's 1,667 words per day, so there isn't much time to stop and edit as you go. You just keep going. It's a competition against yourself rather than anyone else, to see if you can accomplish the task. It's also a community based event, so you can commiserate with other writers about the bad and celebrate with them about the good.

They have smaller events in April and July, but to really get the feel of it, November is when it's a party (or a rollercoaster, either way). I went to write-ins in cafes, bars, grocery stores, on the subway, etc. The event is a whole vibe, and now they have in person events again (they paused for covid). If you want to stay virtual, they have that too!

And as for what works for me:

1.

This most certainly wouldn't work for everyone, but it's my current strategy:

I think best when I'm in motion. By far. So most of my storyboarding I do while walking or driving, and I dictate into the notes app on my phone.

I do most of my dialogue this way too, because speaking it out loud makes it feel more like a conversation and more natural. I won't dictate the narration, but I'll include action tags. So it comes out like "Anthony: *flings door open, eyes wide* what in blazes are you doing??" (I add punctuation later)

Then when I get home, I often have several thousand words of notes to work from. My notes file for my last fic was 30k words, almost all of which had been dictated. It's a lot. It might sound daunting.

But it was done while out for a walk or drive, so it felt easy and effortless. And then when it came time to actually write, I got 48,000 words of a first draft done in 8 days (about 15k of which was just copy pasted from the outline. The whole time it felt like cheating and using guidelines to write the actual story, but it was all my original work, just done at different times.

2.

Keep writing as an exciting treat rather than a chore.

I've started to create little writers retreats for myself. My friends and I rented an AirBnB for two nights this winter, where the entire goal was reading and writing. Sure there was sitting around the fire talking and eating good food, but we built it up so that the writing was the exciting part. It worked SO WELL. We did writing activities together too, not just staring at a word doc. We did character studies and made little AUs to imagine our characters in.

A friend and I took a six hour road trip for another writers retreat too. We spent the 12 hours (RT) in the car talking about our stories and characters. We'd started with dozens of prompts so we'd have enough material, and we never ran out. Then we took rest stops at gas stations and restaurants and did little 15 minute writing sprints. It really got me fired up. I wrote 6,000 words over the two days of that retreat!

Keeping writing fun can be big things (my sister and I did a writers retreat like that in Hawaii) or little things (I always treat myself to a donut and a coffee on Sunday mornings and then have a leisurely morning in the cafe writing).

I can't say if any of this will work for you, because I can't even say whether it'll still work for *me* in a few years. But I hope it's food for thought!

Anyway this is like one million words long so sorry about that, hope it was interesting.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for getting angry at the love of my life for bringing me back from the dead?

So I (32M) had a pretty traumatic childhood. My parents and my little sister were killed in front of me through a misunderstanding when I was just 15. Basically they thought my dad was in some shady shit and instead of waiting for a trial or something, they just killed him. Don't worry, when they figured it out I was allowed to extract my own justice. This didn't scar me at all. I'm fine. ANYWAY, fast forward and I'm the all-in-one tutor to the crown princess (12F) and in a weird sexual tension thing with her loyal Knight body guard (35M). Don't tell anyone but I've been in love with him for ages, and though I always knew that he wouldn't love me back bc of his knightly vows of celibacy, I didn't mind. After all the Princess' well being comes first. Well, some crap happened and it turns out!! That 1) he doesn't have a vow of celibacy and was just rebuffing my flirting bc he thought I was just joking around; 2) now we're on the run with a bunch of other folks after a violent overthrow of the kingdom; 3) have been having some comfort sex after an ill advised drunken night; and; 4) thru the process of all this shit going on, Mr Knight has been falling in love with me, too. But he never told me! Genuinely thought he was in it for the amazing comfort sex as we grapple with being displaced and hunted!

Anyway, thru a series of unfortunate events I fucking died. And it was... really nice. Sure I was panicked at first because oh my god the Princess! Mr Knight! Our friends! are they ok? But then I opened my eyes and my family was there and I felt peace for the first time. Truly, the feeling of Home was so lost to me for years that to feel it again this time was so so good. I didn't want to leave.

Except I had too bc Mr Knight shows up and drags me kicking and screaming back up topside because apparently our lil group didn't want me to die and now I'm... this. A Dead Thing. Aside from losing my family again for the second fucking time, I can't FEEL anything!! Pain or pleasure! or remorse or joy or happiness. It's like everything is behind glass when they had all been just in my hands before. The only thing I can rightfully access atm is my anger. And it's far more explosive and far more damaging than it had ever been in life. Just the other day I beat a guy's face in with just my bare fists for trying to kill the Princess. I can still feel his blood on my hands. Under my fingernails. We went to a famous necromancer to figure it out and all he could say is that I Came Back Wrong.

And to top it all off, Mr Knight over here is suddenly spouting platitudes! Like! "I couldn't endure a world without you" and "I love you, I wish I told you sooner, realized it even earlier" and "When all this is said and done, let's away, you and I and finally have peace" and yeah, it's all admittedly very sweet, sure, but all I feel is angry and betrayed! He took my family from me a second time! He threw away his most powerful spell that we'd promised each other we'd use on our Princess (who we BOTH think of as a daughter)!! And to top it all off!! He's asking me constantly what it is he did wrong and if I could ever forgive him! Well, I don't think I can! It has our little group very divided now. Some think I have the right to be this angry, but others think I'm being a little unfair taking it all out on him when it was the whole group's decision to bring me back. Are they right? Am I being the asshole?

[bluejay-writes]

MysticTober Day 6 - I Knew Him.

Rating: G

Prompt: Skull

Characters: Classic RFA (No Rika, V, or MC)

Wordcount: 833

Summary: Zen gets a new role!

Author's Notes: I think this is the first time that I've ever properly encapsulated the way Zen flirts with everyone. I'm happy with it. These short-form writings for MysticTober always leave me wondering if I've done a good enough job, but not this time. :3

You can read this on Ao3 if you want!

Zen was ecstatic. Overjoyed. He’d just gotten the best news of his entire career, and he couldn’t wait to share it with everyone once he got home. He was practically prancing down the street when he caught sight of a seasonal section in the convenience store he was passing and ducked inside.

They didn’t have much, but there on the shelf in front of him was a plastic skull. Smaller than life-sized, but still perfect for holding in his hand and practicing to, like a partner for his lines. On impulse, he purchased it (along with a bottle of water, the smart kind with a sport top - he was celebrating, after all) and returned to his walk.

Every so often, he’d hold the skull out like he was going to do a soliloquy and then laugh. Once, he even proclaimed “Ah, Jumin. I knew him, Yoosung.” As if he were talking to one of his friends about another of them, intentionally replacing the names of characters with the members of his charity group.

It was after that moment, receiving a number of strange looks from other pedestrians, that Zen started to question why he’d even bought the silly skull. Why he’d done anything that wasn’t going directly home and starting to work on his lines. Shakespeare was no joke, even if it was one of the plays everyone seemed to know just enough about to have an opinion. At least it meant that the rest of the RFA would be sufficiently proud of him for landing this role.

Of course, thinking about his friends seemed to have summoned one of them with his luck and seasonal impulsivity. Jaehee stood down the street from him, coffee in one hand and a bemused look on her face.

“Zen, what in the world are you carrying?” She asked as she approached, her bemused look tempering into her usual calm smile.

“I’m celebrating!” He crowed, dancing around her like the idiot he definitely felt like in that moment. “Here, a gift for the lady.” He held the skull out to her and she took it in confusion. Of course any gift from Zen was something to be kept and cherished and displayed, but she would at least like to understand the meaning of the gesture, he was sure.

And so, he told her.

“I just got word from the director. I got the role. I’ll be starring as Hamlet this winter, Miss Jaehee.” He grinned, and bowed to her with a flourish.

“Shakespeare?!” She was stunned, but she looked like she just won the lottery.

“The very same.” He said, rattling off information about the planned dates and his co-stars and the big downtown theatre they’d be performing in. He’d really done it. He’d made it. His dream role, and it was his. “Promise me you’ll come.” He said, his eyes locking onto hers. “It wouldn’t be a dream come true without you, Jaehee.”

She blushed bright red, but nodded. He didn’t know what he would do without his number one fan, and now he didn’t have to. He’d get her tickets front and center so that she could appreciate his talent and beauty from the best possible place.

He snatched up her free hand and pulled his mask down to place a kiss against the back of it before turning to head down the street. “I’ll see you later!” He called, even as he heard the whispers of people having recognized him start to creep up. He knew better than to show his face, but it was worth it, to make Jaehee that kind of happy.

Jaehee Kang Has Entered the Chatroom 707: It’s Jaehee! Yoosung★: Hi Jaehee! Jaehee Kang: I just got the best news. 707: Did Zen get a new role? Yoosung★: Jaehee Kang: He did! Jaehee Kang: HAMLET. 707: No shit. Yoosung★: Language! Jumin Han has entered the chatroom Yoosung★: Jumin! 707: Zen did it, he landed Hamlet. Jumin Han: What, as the gravedigger? Horatio? Oh, no, The King? Not Ophelia, surely… Jaehee Kang: As Hamlet, Mr. Han. Jumin Han: Jumin Han: I figured as much, with his talent. Jumin Han: This calls for a celebration. ZEN has entered the chatroom ZEN: Everyone! ZEN: Well, mostly everyone, no V as usual… Jaehee Kang: I told them your news!!! ZEN: Aw, thank you Jaehee! Jumin Han: Hyun, we should celebrate. Steak? ZEN: ZEN: You know what? Fuck it. let’s go. Yoosung★: Yes!!! 707: Jaehee Kang: …All of us? Jumin Han: Of course. We will make the arrangements, Assistant Kang. Jumin Han has left the chatroom. Jaehee Kang: This is surreal. I will see you all for dinner. Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom. Yoosung★: I’m so proud of you, Zen!!! 707: Me too. ZEN: ZEN: ZEN: I better get a shower so I look the part of the honoree tonight at dinner. ZEN has left the chatroom. Yoosung★: okay is it me or is it weird that they’re getting along? 707: It’s weird, lol.

[tngrace]

Our Baby You'll Always Be

This turned out so much longer than I expected. Trigger warning: this deals with a miscarriage and while I've not had one, I've had my own struggles and can relate to certain emotions etc.

Dividers from @firefly-graphics

🏷: @dragon-kazansky @mrsjaderogers @bayisdying @callsignscupcake @askmarinaandothers @cycbaby @breadsquash @ladylanera @callmemana

Grace thought their fertility journey the first go around was the worst she'd ever feel about herself and her body. But no. Unfortunately it isn't.

It shouldn't have come as a surprise when she turned up pregnant a third time, considering how often they had sex and the fact she'd never gone back on birth control after Mitchell. Mitchell was two when she had another positive test. Grace was always a stickler for not telling a soul until she was out of the first trimester, and Bradley understood her fears. So while he wanted to preen and peacock around, he always waited for her.

This time she was glad. She'd gone in for her twelve week checkup when she felt her heart shatter. There was nothing worse than the words "I'm sorry there's no heartbeat." She felt Bradley squeeze her hand, his hand brush her cheek. But she felt numb, frozen. She didn't cry, not then. They scheduled a D&C for later in the week and before she knew it, it was like it never happened.

The day of the procedure, they asked Slider and Whiskey to watch the kids for a few hours but didn't explain why. Once Bradley had Grace settled at home, he went to get them.

"Everything ok?" Slider asked in concern, being able to read Bradley like a book still.

"Yea… yea everything is fine."

"You know you still can't lie for shit," Slider says before Mitchell runs up and jumps into Bradley's arms.

Whiskey joins her husband, Caroline wrapping around her dad's leg before taking their backpack from Whiskey. "What's wrong Bradley?"

"Nothing. We're great aren't we kiddos?" He smiles, blowing raspberries on Mitchell's cheek as Caroline gives goodbye hugs.

"Mommy?" Mitchell asks after he quits giggling.

"She's at home waiting on you two."

Slider and Whiskey are suspicious but they let Bradley leave. It takes a few days before anyone sees them again. Grace took a few days off at Bradley's insistence, so they just stayed home with the kids. Instead of resting, Grace threw herself into doing anything possible for Caroline and Mitchell. Bradley wanted so bad to make her stop and just take the time for herself but he knew she wouldn't listen.

Grace is back to work in a few days, and when she's not working, she's doing everything possible for the kids. Everyone notices how off the Bradshaws are acting, but no one could seem to get to the bottom of it. Grace avoids girls' night, claiming the kids need her. She rarely joins the groups at the Hard Deck anymore, always just sending their food out to them and she's never caught behind the bar anymore. Baylie & Alana corner her in the kitchen one day, but she insists everything is fine and that she'll catch up with them soon. They don't exactly believe her, but they don't push just yet.

Even Bradley has pulled away from everybody. He knows Grace told him he could tell whoever he wanted, but he knows she's not talking about it so he doesn't either. He skips out on the Hard Deck most nights, heading home to help with the kids or keep the kids if Grace is at work. He knows if he goes, he'll cave under any one of his uncles' looks. He wants to tell, knows they need to talk about it, but he can't get Grace to talk to him so he doesn't talk either.

Mav corners him on base one afternoon after two almost three months of their odd behavior. "Kiddo what is going on?"

Bradley bites his lip as he stares at the ground. "Nothing. It's fine."

"It's not. And everybody has noticed. Hell you two even have Jake worried."

Bradley sighs, running his hands through his hair. He wants to tell Mav everything, but he doesn't. "I can't. Not yet."

"B…." Mav sighs. "Why not?"

"Because…." He sighs himself. "Because Grace can't talk about it yet. And I can't … I can't even get her to talk to me about it and I…."

"Ok … ok just breathe, kiddo," Mav whispers, pulling him into his arms in a tight hug. "Whatever it is, you'll get through it. And when you can talk about it, you know where to find me."

"Thanks Mav," Bradley whispers hugging him tight before he pulls back. "I'm gonna work on it. I swear. And then I'll tell you everything."

"Alright. Get home then. Give the kids and Grace a hug."

"Will do," Bradley smiles. He starts thinking, forming a plan. He knows everyone is worried, but he's not sure they're more worried them him. He's got to get his girl to talk, to start healing, and he thinks he has just the idea. He makes a phone call on his way home, and sighs in relief now that he has a plan.

A week later, Bradley comes home nervous for the first time ever. He couldn't stand to see his wife suffering in silence any longer, so he'd made the appointment in the hopes that it would help her to see that everything would be ok and they could talk about it.

"Grace I'm home," he called out quietly since it was right after lunch and he figured the kids would be napping.

She popped out of the kitchen with a quizzical look. "You're home early?"

"Yea had an appointment today and came home after it."

"Wait? Appointment? What's wrong? Did I forget something?"

He pulls her into his arms silencing her with a kiss. "No. You didn't forget and nothing's wrong. Just… trust me for a minute?"

She could tell he was nervous which was unusual for him, so she just nodded. He carefully pulled his shirt over his head and then slowly turned so his back was to her. He heard her breath catch as she saw the bandaging.

"Bradley?" She whispered.

"Go ahead peel it back."

In the middle of his shoulders was a tiny tattoo that brought tears to her eyes. Two tiny feet print with angel wings and a halo rested there with the year underneath. Her hand fell from his back, coming up over her mouth as she tried to choke back sobs.

He slowly spun to face her, pulling her into her chest. "Let it out baby. You can't keep holding it in. You need to talk about it. We need to talk about it."

"I can't…." She choked out, her face flooded with tears and snot.

Bradley held her tighter. "I know…. I know it hurts. But we can't keep it a secret. No one is going to think any differently of you. It happened. But it's tearing you up inside and you're wearing yourself out and I can't stand it because I can't make it better. If you can't talk to me I get it, but please baby…. Please you've gotta talk to someone."

Grace sobs into his chest and he just holds her tight, his head resting on top of hers. "I couldn't not get a new tattoo. That was our baby and he or she deserves a place just like Caroline and Mitchell because we're never going to forget. That was a part of me and you and it's always going to hurt, but it's always going to be our baby."

He sways side to side as he holds her trying to comfort her. "Tell me who to call baby. I'd do anything for you. Anything. But you've got to tell someone."

"Dad…" she chokes out and Bradley gives a faint smile.

"Of course." He pulls out his phone dialing Slider.

"Hey kid? Everything ok?" He knows it's unusual for Bradley to be calling in the middle of the day, especially if he should be on base.

"Not really. Things haven't been ok for a couple months but Grace is finally ready to talk and she's asking for you two."

"We'll be right there," he promises.

Bradley hangs up and pockets his phone once more. "They're on their way." He softly kisses the top of her head. "Do you want me to stay? Or take the kids?"

She feels terrible asking him to leave and she can't bring herself to say it. "Ok how about I keep the kids in the play room and then I'm here if you need me?" He offers as if reading her mind.

She gives a faint nod and Bradley tightens his arms around her. "I'm sorry," she chokes out. "God I'm so sorry."

"Grace its ok. It's ok," he whispers as he rubs her back. "It's going to be ok." He carefully slips his shirt back on so the tattoo is covered and then hugs her tight once more.

Slider and Whiskey are there within fifteen minutes, and the couple is still standing in the middle of the living room wrapped in each other's arms. Bradley hears the soft knock and calls out an "It's open."

Slider and Whiskey take in the site before them, and in the next instant Whiskey has Grace in her arms as Slider gives Bradley a hug. "Thanks for coming," Bradley says quietly as Grace just cries in Whisky's arms.

"Always. You know we'll always come kiddo." Bradley swallows deep as he gives Slider a nod.

He grabs the monitor off the table, turning it off. "I'll be down the hall with the kids if ya need me," he tells them turning to go.

"Bradley wait," Slider says grabbing his arm.

"No. This is for Grace. Just… come get me if you need to. I'll have the kids in the play room when they wake."

Slider reluctantly lets Bradley go, his eyes trailing after his nephew before he turns and meets his wife's worried gaze. He gently takes Grace into his arms hugging her tight, as her sobs finally seem to taper off into his chest.

"Grace sweetheart?" Slider finally asks when she's just sniffling.

She slowly pulls back and sinks into the couch, not the least bit surprised when Slider and Whiskey settle on either side of her. She pulls her knees up to her chest, resting her head on them. "Bradley has a new tattoo," she whispers, causing Slider and Whiskey to exchange a worried glance.

"I take it you don't like it?" Slider hedged based on her sobs.

Grace bites her lip as she wipes at her eyes. "It's actually really gorgeous and thoughtful …. And …. God I don't deserve him," she whimpers as more tears escape.

"Honey that's not true," Whiskey says as she rubs Grace's back. "You two are perfect for each other. You're soulmates and everyone knows it."

"He deserves someone better," she murmurs.

Jade and Ron shoot each other worried glances not used to seeing their happy girl so down. They can only recall one time when she was sort of like this, and they're not liking the conclusions they're drawing.

"What's the tattoo?" Slider asks after a few moments of silence where they silently debated how to handle this.

Grace stutters out a sob before trying to pull herself together. "It's… tiny feet print with angel wings and a halo," she whispers.

"Oh baby," Whiskey whispers as she pulls Grace into her arms. Grace just cries, as she feels Slider add his arms around her too.

When she was all cried out, Whiskey gently asked her, "Recently?"

Grace wiped her eyes as she settled back between them with her knees in her chest. "Like three months now. I should… I would've been six months next week, but…. When we went for the twelve week checkup they couldn't find a heartbeat. The.. day we had yall watch the kids I had a D&C done. That's why only B picked them up."

"Why didn't you tell us sweetheart? We would've kept them longer or done anything to help," Slider says as he pulls his would-be daughter into his arms.

"We didn't tell anyone. At least I didn't. I told Bradley after that he could if he needed to, but I don't think he did. I… I always knew it was possible the first time when things were so hard. I expected it. Prepared for it. But then…. Caroline surprised us and Mitchell was easy. I just…. I stuck to the not telling til first trimester was over just to be safe but I didn't think it would really happen. And then it did and I just…. I never knew you could actually feel your own heart shatter…. But that day…. That day I did. And then I just…. I told myself I couldn't be upset about it. That it wasn't meant to be. And I had two precious babies I wasn't sure I'd ever get anyways and I did.. I got them and that was going to be enough and I was just going to be the best mommy I could be to them because they deserved it. And I've thrown myself into it and taking care of them and just trying to forget. But B…. God I don't deserve him. He reminded me today I can't forget because…. That… that was my baby… a part of me and him… and I lost it."

Whiskey wipes her own tears and gives her another tight hug. “Oh my Grace. I understand why you didn’t want to tell anyone. It hurts so much going through it… I know. I’ve been there. Went through it. Five times… Nobody but Slider and your Aunt Dragon know. Your heart may be shattered now but it doesn’t mean it’s without any repairs. Caroline and Mitchell are beyond blessed to have you as a mother. But you also have to take care of yourself… Part of that means relying and talking to your friends and family.”

"Oh god I didn't… I…"

"Shhhh sweetheart," Ron says wiping his own eyes as he hugs her tight. "We know you didn't. And I have a feeling this is why you haven't told the girls right? You're worried about Lucky?"

Grace nods against his chest as she tries to quiet her tears and guilt. She doesn't want to remind her best friend of one of the worst times of her life. And she had no idea that was what she was doing with her pseudo parents.

"Sweetheart we love you and just want to take care of you. Especially right now when it seems like you need it most. That's what parents do. We don't want to see you hurting like we did, but you are and taking care of you will help everybody." She clings to Slider as she listens.

"I'm sorry for keeping it a secret," she whispers as she pulls back. "I just…. I felt like such a failure before Caroline and it was so hard and then… we got lucky twice…. And B… God he gets so happy and excited."

"Oh we know. He never shuts up about it," Slider laughs until Whiskey smacks him causing Grace to let out a giggle.

"What?! It's true!" He huffs.

"See?! All beauty no brains," Jade sighs. Grace lets out an actual laugh at that because it's a running joke among the girls that none of their husbands' have a brain cell among them. Slider wants to be affronted, but his baby girl is laughing and he can't be mad about that.

"I know it hurts, but burying it and not talking about it or dealing with it, is only gonna make it worse," Slider tells her softly as he rubs her tear tracks away.

"You need to talk to Bradley if nothing else. You can't shut him out baby girl," Jade tells her.

"I will. I promise."

"Good. Then the kids are coming home with us. And we don't want to see either of you until at least tomorrow night," Slider declares.

"You don't…"

"Ron's right. Let us take the kids. You two have a night to yourself. Talk. Relax. Rest. Heal."

"Yes mam," Grace says hugging her tight and then Slider. "Thank you… both."

"You don't have to thank us baby girl. This is what we're here for."

She gives them a nod before getting up off the couch. "I'll go pack the kids up and send them out here if you're sure."

"We are." Grace smiles and heads for their rooms. She can hear them in the play room with Bradley and she can't help but smile. He's such an amazing dad and loves their kids so much. She peeks in on them, just watching before she packs their bags.

"Who wants a sleepover at Gramps & Gigi's?" Grace asks from the doorway.

The kids screech, Caroline understanding more than Mitchell. "Gramps and Gigi is here?" She asks.

"Yep they're in the living room," Grace smiles. Caroline takes off like a shot to see some of her favorite people, Mitchell trailing behind her like always. Bradley gets up from the floor and comes over, wrapping his arms around his wife. He softly kisses her tear trails but doesn't ask. "Sleepover huh?"

"They offered. Well more like insisted," she shrugs. "Besides I think they're right. We could use this night."

"I'll never turn down alone time with you." Grace blushes, but she smiles as she buries her face in his chest. "Don't argue either," he murmurs, feeling the self depreciating statement on the tip of her tongue.

"Let's go say bye to the kids," she laughs instead as they head into the living room. Mitchell is climbing all over Slider as he just laughs, and Caroline is telling Whiskey all about her latest art project. "You two behave ok? No fighting and no arguing about bedtime," she says pointedly at Caroline.

"They'll be fine," Whiskey assures as she takes their bag. The kids hug and kiss their parents and Whiskey and Slider hug the kids tight. "Remember we're here if you need us."

"Thanks mama," Grace smiles as they wave goodbye. The house is extremely quiet once the kids are gone and they flop down on the couch, tangling together.

"Let me see it again?" Grace whispers several, several minutes later.

"Yea of course." Bradley eases up and slips his shirt off once more. Grace's fingers delicately trace around the tattoo not getting close. She just softly admires it, thankful she's all cried out.

"It's gorgeous Roo. And thoughtful. And I just…." He spins around and pulls her into his lap, hugging her tight.

"I know… I debated it for so long. And then I just… did it. I was so worried what you'd think."

"I'm sorry," she whispers cradling his face. "I haven't…. I haven't thought about what you need and I've been…" His lips close over hers, effectively silencing her.

"It's ok."

"It's not. Not really. We're in this together and I've shut you out, shut you down, and been so self absorbed you didn't…. You couldn't even tell me about this. And it's truly beautiful."

"You're not selfish love." He gently cradles her face, his thumbs rubbing back and forth on her cheek. "I hate seeing you hurting like this though. I hate seeing you shut everyone out."

She gives him a sad smile before burying her face into his neck. "I don't deserve you," she whispers even as she clings to him.

Bradley's arms tighten around her. "No you've got that wrong beautiful. I don't deserve you. You deserve the world and I promised you on our wedding day that I'd do my damned best to give it to you."

She softly kisses his neck before pulling up and cradling his face. "You've given me everything Bradley. You've given me love, a home, a family, and friends. You've given me everything." She softly kisses his lips, her hands trailing into his hair. "I love you and I'm truly sorry," she whispers.

"I know you are baby. I know. And I love you. More than anything Grace. I'm not letting you go, ever." He brushes his nose back and forth against hers. "This is just a bump in the road. And we'll only be stronger after."

"Yea…" She cuddles against him, treasuring being close to him again. They stay like that while they talk out all their fears and thoughts over the last three months. They're both brutally honest and lay all their cards on the table. Grace is exhausted by the time they're done, and Bradley just wants to hold her close.

He carries her to their bathroom and runs a bath. He gently and carefully strips her, leaving gentle kisses as he goes. They haven't had any kind of intimacy in over three months and she realizes how much she's missed her husband. Her hands thread through his hair and tug him up to her.

"Join me?" She pleads softly.

"Of course," he smiles kissing her softly.

They lay together in the hot bath, hands roaming softly, just enjoying being close to each other. "We have to tell our friends," Grace whispers after several minutes of silence.

"Yea probably should. This tat won't stay hidden forever."

She rolls over so she's laying on his chest facing him. "It shouldn't," she whispers with a smile. She leans up and softly kisses him, Bradley's hands squeezing her hips to hold her still from rubbing against him. She gives him a devious smirk as she does it again, making his hands squeeze her hips harder. "Grace," he warns.

"We are kid free," she whispers.

"And you're exhausted, beautiful."

"Not too tired for you. Besides I've been negle…." Bradley's hand closes over her lips as he raises his eyebrows at her.

"Don't even finish that sentence Grace."

She licks his hand to be contrary and it draws a laugh from him. "We'll see how you feel after a good night's sleep."

"Fine," she pouts even though she knows he's right. They stay in the bath until the water starts cooling and then get in comfy clothes. Bradley cooks up a quick dinner, they check on the kids and Grace is asleep against Bradley's chest before the opening scene of the movie they picked even finished. He cards his fingers through her hair as he just holds her close. He knows its just a start but he has a good feeling, his girl is on her way to healing.

The next morning Grace wakes before Bradley. She lays there watching him sleep. She doesn't know how she got so lucky to call him hers, but she feels truly blessed. She lets her finger drift over first Caroline's tattoo, then their anniversary, before softly tracing Mitchell's. Bradley stirs under her hands and she gives him a soft smile and a kiss. "Good morning," she whispers.

His hands come around her waist. "Good morning," he mumbles. She softly kisses around his face before moving down his neck. "Grace," he moans, tightening his hands on her waist.

"I feel much better this morning," she whispers as she straddles him. She lays completely over him as she pays special attention to his neck, collarbone and the weak spot where they meet.

He quickly rolls them, pinning her to the bed as she giggles. "Good. Then I can remind my girl how much I love her, how beautiful I find her, how no matter what she's always gonna be mine," he smirks.

"Bradley," she moans, her body arching into him.

"Yea. That's exactly what I'm going to do," he smirks. And that's exactly what he does. He takes his time worshiping her, loving her, reminding her how loved and wanted she is. Grace is a trembling mess, cuming five times before Bradley relents and fucks her good. That sixth one leaves her boneless and breathless, clinging to him tight.

"I love you," he whispers into her hair. "No matter what. You're it for me Grace and nothing will ever change that. Me and you forever baby."

"Forever," she whispers into his chest before dropping back to sleep. Bradley carefully cleans them up before joining her in a nap. Later once they've finally crawled out of bed, Grace suggests they call their friends over for the night.

"Yea. We can go get the kids and we can keep the kids in the backyard. You three can have the house. Wine and movies and whatever."

She gives him a soft smile. "Yea I'll text 'em now."

S to wifeys: Girls and guys night at our place? Guys outside with the kids. I've got the wine.

L: We'll be there. Need us to bring anything?

C: Jake's bringing the whiskey and pizza. No cooking woman!

S: Sounds perfect. See yall tonight.

"It's set," she tells Bradley. She gives him a soft kiss, "What about Mav?"

"He has been asking for the kids to come out to the hanger. We could go out there tomorrow since it's Sunday."

"Make the plans. I'll go call mama let her know we're fixing to head that way."

They get the kids and stay for lunch. Slider and Whiskey are both happy to see easy relaxed smiles on their kids' faces. "Thank you both again," Grace tells them as she hugs them goodbye.

"Don't have to thank us sweetheart."

They get the kids loaded up and head back home. Mitchell goes down easily for his nap and Caroline cuddles with Bradley on the couch. Grace picks up a little bit around the house before joining them.

Everyone arrives around five. Hugs are exchanged, the kids go wild until Bradley calls them to the table, and then everyone settles to eat. Conversation flows easily and Grace lets herself sink back into the group. It feels good and she knows it'll be ok telling them tonight. She feels Bradley squeeze her hand and she realizes she's zoned out. She squeezes back giving him a reassuring smile.

"Alright, kids outside. Boys too," Cin declares once the kids are done. "Go run off some energy," she tells her boys, who take off with the others following.

"I'm just outside if you need me," Bradley whispers before dropping a kiss on her forehead.

"Go Chicken. We got her," Lucky tells him as Jake and Mickey gather up all the empty boxes to burn in the fire pit. Grace pours them all glasses of wine before settling on the couch with the girls around her.

"I owe you both apologies," Grace starts. She holds up her hand to silence them both when they start to protest. "No just listen. I do. I've pulled away from everybody but especially you two. And I lied." She sighs softly before taking a large sip of her wine.

Lucky grabs her hand giving it a squeeze as she shares a look with Cin. "Lied about what?" Cin asks gently.

Grace lets out another deep breath, her eyes not meeting either of the girls. "That things have been fine. They haven't. And I know everyone noticed. But I just…. I didn't want to add to anyone's already crazy life and I didn't want to remind anyone of their own pain. So I… well we… kept it to ourselves and I just tried to bury it. But Roo reminded me yesterday I can't do that… that it wasn't working."

"Why don't you start at the beginning," Lucky suggests.

Grace sighs but nods. "I had a miscarriage three months ago."

"Grace!" "Why didn't you say anything?" They both speak at the same time causing her to chuckle a little.

She sets her wine glass on the table and settles back between them. "I didn't want to remind you of your worst memory," she tells Lucky. "And I didn't want to tell anyone really. I barely even talked to B about it. I was prepared for it before Caroline, when things were so hard. But then surprise there she is. And then Mitchell was so easy. I just…. We were expecting another baby and then it was gone before we ever had a chance to….." she trails off with a shrug.

"I went in for my twelve week checkup and was fully prepared to tell everyone that night. And when we got there, they…. There just wasn't a heartbeat. I had a D&C a couple days later and that was that. I told myself it just wasn't meant to be and I needed to focus on the two blessings I did have. I told B he could talk about it, but he didn't because I wouldn't. I didn't realize how much I'd pulled away, how I was letting my pain consume me until yesterday. He…. He came home with a new tattoo, and it's so gorgeous and thoughtful and I just lost it. "

"What'd Chicken do now?"

Grace giggles as she shakes her head at Baylie.

"Something really sweet. He got a tattoo to remember our baby just like Caroline and Mitchell. It's two tiny feet with angel wings and a halo in the middle of his shoulder blades."

"That is really sweet," Cin says with a smile.

"I'll give him that one," Lucky agrees. She turns to fully face Grace before she voices her next thoughts. "However, you don't have to keep things like this from me. Yea it sucks, but… we three don't have to keep secrets. We're there for each other no matter what, painful or not. I know you thought you were protecting me, but you don't have to babe."

"We could've cried with you," Cin agrees as she too hugs Grace.

"I know that, deep down I do. I just…. I'd rather spare everyone else that pain."

"We know. But we're telling you, that you don't have to. Not anymore. You've got all of us. And you're not getting rid of us."

"I don't want to," she smiles, hugging the girls tight. "Thank you," she whispers.

"Don't have to thank us babe. Just let us be there."

Grace gives them a nod with a watery smile. They finish their wine and catching up on the gossip before going to rejoin the boys. She gets hugs from both Jake and Mickey so she knows Bradley told too, but they don't say anything.

"Alright let's see it Chicken," Lucky says from Mickey's lap. The kids are still running around, but it's starting to get dark and they know they'll all crash soon.

"See what?" He asks as Grace giggles.

"The tattoo dummy," Cin says with an eye roll.

"Lord you three really don't have secrets."

"Better remember that too," Lucky smirks evilly.

Grace stands up and lets him pull his shirt off. The four fall silent just taking it in. It truly is a beautiful idea to remember. "Very impressed Bradley. You did good," Alana says softly.

The other three murmur their agreement before Bradley tosses his shirt back on. "Thanks guys." He gives them a bashful smile as Grace settles back in his lap. "Yea we…" Grace swallows deep, her thumbs twirling around each other. "We appreciate yall being understanding tonight. And… for sticking it out even when I'm being stubborn."

"I mean… you did marry one of the most stubborn people we know so he was bound to rub off on you," Jake teases to break the tension.

Grace giggles as Bradley throws the nearest thing at Jake.

"That's what friends that are family are for," Mickey tells Grace once their laughter dies down. "We're all here for each other."

"Here, here."

The kids wear themselves down and before they know it, the twins are trying to crawl into Jake and Alana's lap, and Hadley is tugging at Baylie to get off Mickey so she can cuddle. Mitchell has crawled into Grace's lap and Caroline is leaning against Bradley's arm on the chair.

"Think that's all our cues," Bradley laughs as they start picking up. They say their goodbyes and then get the kids to bed.

The next morning, they pack up a bag of stuff for the kids and they're able to get Mitchell in the car without waking him, but Caroline wakes right up.

"Where go?" She asks sleepily, burying her face in Grace's neck.

"We're gonna go spend the day at Pop's hangar. Go back to sleep baby," she whispers after buckling her in. She climbs in the front seat and laces her fingers with Bradley's. They have about an hour drive and once the kids wake, Grace passes them food and drinks. They're both happy to be going to spend the day with Pops. They love Mav's hangar too, so Grace knows they'll wear themselves out again.

Mav is waiting at the hangar door when they get there. "Pops," Caroline squeals as she tries to undo the clips on her car seat. She's gotten more independent as she's gotten older, and she's almost figured out the clips. Bradley ends up helping her, and then she's racing into Mav's arms, Mitchell not far behind her.

"How's my favorite two kids?" He asks tickling them as he picks them both up. They squeal and giggle, Grace watching on with a fond smile. Bradley has shouldered their backpack and he wraps an arm around Grace's waist pulling her back against him.

"Yall coming?" Mav calls out as he heads into the hangar with the kids.

Bradley chuckles as he pulls Grace along. "Let's go make sure they don't get in trouble."

The kids are running around the plane as Mav puts away his tools. Bradley drops the backpack on the couch, dropping a kiss on Grace's head before helping Mav. She settles in to watch them and the kids. She always loves times like these getting to see a peek into what Bradley's childhood must have been like.

She eventually gets pulled into the chaos with the kids; Caroline enjoys looking at Mav's picture wall and hearing just who everyone is, and Mitchell rather enjoys sitting on Pops' bikes and pretending to ride.

"Mav do we need to take the plane up?" Bradley asks after a few hours.

"And why would we?" He asks shooting his godson a confused look.

"To make sure your maintenance is good of course."

"B…."

"Yea go. We'll be fine. It's almost naptime anyways," Grace insists.

Mav looks between them once more and Grace insists. "Alright. We'll take it up for a short hop. I think Disney is already loaded in there," Mav tells Grace pointing at the airstream.

"Thanks," she smiles, kissing his cheek.

"Come on kiddos." Mitchell is already drifting on her shoulder and Caroline pouts because she loves watching Pops and dad fly, but she follows after Grace after a look from Bradley.

"What's wrong kiddo?"

"Finally ready to talk. Figured this was… easier," he shrugs as they finish the pre-flight.

"Fair enough." Mav squeezes his shoulder in reassurance before they climb in. "Wanna pilot?"

"Nah. Not this time. Take us around Dad."

Bradley settles in behind Mav and then they're up in the air. The scenery is so gorgeous and it's freeing being in the air with someone else in control.

"You alright back there kiddo?"

"Yea…just trying to figure out what to say."

"The beginning is always a good starting point."

Bradley snorts as he rolls his eyes. "We kept a pretty big secret from everybody. And it's…. Well it's why everybody was so worried."

"Alright you've got my attention."

"Grace had a miscarriage Dad."

"Bradley…."

"I know. We… It was a surprise. We weren't trying. And you know how she likes to keep it quiet. When we went for the twelve week scan there… there wasn't a heartbeat."

"Oh kiddo…" Mav wishes he could hug his kid tight but he can't, not right now while they're in the air.

"Yea.. we had a big reveal planned that night. Was gonna tell everybody. But…. Then there was nothing to tell. And she…. God Dad she wouldn't talk about it. Not even to me. They did the D&C and that was it. She told me I could tell but she just…. She shut down and I was so scared. Scared I was losing her."

"B…. I'm putting the plane down."

Bradley wipes at his eyes not even realizing he'd started crying himself. He knows that's one thing Mav can't stand, seeing him upset and not being able to offer comfort so he doesn't even argue. "Yea… yea ok."

Mav sets the plane down easily and pulls it back into the hangar, popping the canopy. He's out of the plane before Bradley can even blink, but then he's back over the side to help Bradley down. "I'm gonna peek in on Grace and the kids real quick," Bradley tells Mav as he climbs down.

"I'll get drinks and meet you at the firepit?"

"Perfect." Mav pulls Bradley in tight against him for a hug, and Bradley has to choke back a sob. When he finally lets go, he peeks in the airstream to find all three asleep. He drapes a blanket over them before going to join Mav.

"All three are sound asleep," Bradley says, sinking into one of the chairs. Mav hands over a beer and Bradley takes a sip.

"How long ago?" Mav asks quietly.

"Three months now." Bradley peels at the label on his beer, not meeting Mav's eyes for a moment. "I actually owe you a thank you." Bradley gives him that crooked smile that reminds Mav so much of the little boy that would climb into his lap and believe every word he said.

"For what?"

"That day you stopped me on base and I couldn't tell you. It gave me an idea. I didn't think; I just did," he chuckles. "I'm just lucky it worked."

"What exactly did you do?" Mav laughs.

Bradley pulls his shirt over his head and shows Mav his new tattoo. "Came home with this."

"B…. Wow kiddo. It's… beautiful."

"Yea, I thought long and hard about what I could get. Then I saw this online when I was searching and knew it would work. It broke the barrier that had been between us for almost three months and the barrier she'd put up around everyone else too. I felt …. Fuck so relieved. I can't…."

"Stand to see her hurting. I know kiddo." He squeezes Bradley's arm. "Everything ok now though?"

"Health wise? Yea she's fine. Mentally? Still getting there. But she told Sli and Whiskey. Then the crew was over last night and we told them. So she's talking about it now. It's just…. Gonna take time I think."

"Yea. Yea it'll take time. But now that the others know neither of you are alone getting through it."

Bradley nods as he finally peels the label off his beer. "It was so hard watching her push everyone away. Knowing I couldn't fix it…."

"You'll never be able to fix it kiddo. But you can be there and that's the most important thing."

"Mav's right," Grace whispers in Bradley's ear causing him to jump. She giggles as the kids finally let out their squeals and scramble into Mav's lap as Grace settles in Bradley's. His arms come around her easily, and she softly kisses her lips.

"How long were you listening?"

"Long enough." She cards her fingers through his hair as the kids tell Mav about what they watched before falling asleep. She tugs gently at Bradley's curls as she stares deep into those chocolate eyes she loves so much.

"Grace…"

"Shhhh," she smiles placing her finger over his lips. "Everyone's focused on me the last few days, even you. But you lost something too B. Wasn't just me. You have to feel it too."

"Come on we'll pretend to fly," Mav laughs as he takes the kids back into the hangar to give the couple some alone time to talk some more.

"Grace…"

"No Bradley. No. It wasn't just me. Yea. I felt it. It happened to my body. But it was half me, half you." Her fingers gently tap beside his tattoo knowing it was probably still sore. "This might be how you work through it, but this," she gently wipes under his eyes. "Tells me all I need to know. You have to deal with it too," she whispers.

She pulls his head against her chest as he cries silently. Her fingers run through his hair as she just holds him, her own silent tears falling too. She knows she scared him and she feels terrible about shutting him out. "It's ok B. I'm still here," she whispers over and over. His arms tighten around her as he just clings to her until he's cried out too.

She gently cradles his face wiping the tears. "I'm sorry. I'm here. And I'm not going to shut you out like that ever again. I promise." She softly kisses his lips. "It's me and you forever baby," she smiles.

"Forever," he whispers against her lips.

"Gram and G-pa just needed their own baby with them. But we're going to be ok. You made me believe that. Now I want to make sure you believe it," she whispers.

"We'll be ok," he smiles. They softly kiss, clinging to each other. The kids' laughter reaches them from inside the hangar. "Let's go see what dad is teaching the kids," he laughs as he lifts her. The site inside the hangar is just too precious. Mitchell is in Mav's lap in the plane and Caroline is sitting behind them, the kids pretending they're flying with Pops, Mav making airplane sounds the whole time. Bradley wraps his arm around Grace, holding her against his side as he watches his kids. It might take a while, but they were going to be ok.

"Daddy come fly with us," Caroline calls and Bradley can't resist her. He drops a kiss on Grace's head before heading over and climbing in the back with Caroline. Grace smiles as she takes pictures, sending them to Bradley and Mav's phones as well. They might always feel like they have a missing piece, but they had each other and their kids, their family and friends and she knew they'd be ok.