#first it hurts—: haruko

[lightlycareless]

Hii!!! I really love your naoya fanfic and I enjoy reading it sm. But I have a hard time imagining the characters 😭😭😭 like I know you're already described them in your fics but I just couldn't imagine what they look like. And sorry because I couldn't tell the difference between haruko and hitomi 😔😔

Heya anon!

Aww, thank you so much!! As for the description, I get it lol I tend to be more of a visual person, thankfully... I've been slowly but surely preparing each of the character's profile sheets or whatever they're called, which will include their background and what I think they look like.

I already posted Naoaki's, Naofumi's and Naohiko's "face claim's" over here if you want to see them. As for Haruko and Hitomi.... I'm still debating.

I just realized that I initially described them one way, and as I went on with the story they slowly began to change? 😂 Ugh, consistency will kill me one day, but this is the closest I have for them regarding a FC.

Hitomi is:

"Cold, aloof. Radiating an aura that dictates elegance, royalty, and even a bit of vanity, to the point where others believe she considers everyone to be beneath her.

Her silence is threatening enough to the point where they keep away from her, approaching her only out of necessity—more so when she’s proven she isn’t afraid of calling them out, portraying a no-funny-business work ethic. No one has ever seen her smile, with rumors quickly spreading that she’s incapable of feeling happiness all around.

That, of course, is nothing more than a façade, for deep inside she’s a kindhearted individual who will do anything to protect those she loves, and all that she does is always with the best intentions in mind.

She’s a good friend, a great listener, bust most importantly, she allegedly harbors an amazing sense of humor and isn’t afraid to take a joke… that of course, is something no one can prove, continuing to be just that: an allegation."

I always envisioned her to be like, the type of woman that's like super beautiful and confident, but always keeps to herself to the point that you can't help but feel a bit intimidated from her... but she's really nice. Hitomi really likes to keep herself as a mystery, she thinks she can do all kinds of things and no one will suspect her (and no one does really). Helping her word gain value which she can use to save her sister from certain conflicts.

Haruko is:

"Bubbly personality, with round features you can't help but dote on. Really adorable—extroverted, approachable, a bit too much from time to time you might think she's crazy and might want to avoid her all together, but she's a good friend at the end of the day and will stick with you through highs and lows.

She is also your go-to person when wanting to find the truth behind certain rumors or need something done—you can trust her reliability, if not, her persistence.

She’s the popular one out of the two amongst the staff, mainly after gaining the reputation of someone generous and talented when it comes to food. If you want a bit of what she’s preparing, she’ll save you some.

She might let her imagination run from time to time, but that only ensures that you’ll never have a boring day with her."

Haruko is like the type of girl that is down to do all kinds of things with you; whatever it is, she's not backing out lol I might even dare to say she was the class clown too when it school. She's just super happy, no one would ever believe she's related to Hitomi if they didn't look alike lol. She feels sad that Hitomi often has to intervene to help her, as if she were a burden, but Hitomi doesn't mind for she's the happiness in her life.

And if you want to get real crazy, this is another way to describe them:

Posh and Baby from the Spice Girls. Isn't that crazy? 💀

And that's what I have for the sisters right now :> I already have their backstory, but that's something I'll post when I have their character profiles ready.

Thank you so much for sending in an ask! If there's any other character you want more details about, please let me know and I'll do my best to answer 🤭❤️

Take care, and hope to see you soon!

[fandomsandfeminism]

So, I haven't seen the new FLCL "sequels." And my memory of Progressive and Alternative are...hazy. I only watched them once and...don't need to watch them again. So if this seems off the mark for Progressive, forgive me.

But the thing that Progressive especially like, didn't get, in my memory of it, is that...Haruko...isn't really like....a character? Haruko is a force. Haruko is an inciting incident. Who she is and why she's there and what she wants isn't really...important? And getting bogged down in the nonsense alien pirate magic space cop robot lore isn't...the point.

Naota's main struggle as he transitions out of childhood is his inability to honestly confront the messy, intense stuff in his life. He takes on a detached air, building walls around himself to keep all the loud, messy, hurtful stuff (his dad, his brother, his...situation with mamimi) at arms length. But that's unsustainable.

(Ninamori is a great microcosm for this conflict. Her transition from "it doesn't seem like a big deal"/"it has nothing to do with me." To admitting she wants her parents at the play, and then later saying she told them how she felt and cried about it is her whole arc. She learns to openly and honestly confront and process her feelings, especially when thats emotionally messy.)

When things get messy for Naota, he shuts down and avoids, not telling Mamimi about his brothers girlfriend in the first episode, for example. Naota is stuck in the middle of all these uncomfortable messy problems, but none of them are getting resolved because he just avoids them. So they linger, they stagnante. He can't create boundaries or change uncomfortable situations because doing those things means confronting the problem.

BUT then Haruko shows up. And in each episode, the moment when things get MESSY (mamimi needing to know thay Tasukus new girlfriend, Ninamori forcing him into the play, the resentment against his dad), when Naota would normally shut down, NOW there is a giant robot to fight and Haruko is there to force a catharsis.

That's her narrative purpose. To create these insane, wild, messy situations that Naota can't avoid, and it is in the catharsis of those confrontations that he grows and the issues in his life resolve and heal.

I dunno if the newest flcl "sequels" are any good, but I think the focus on Harukos lore rather than her thematic and narrative purpose in Progressive was the major failing of that series at least.

[lostiolite]

OVERHAUL X READER

Not proofread

You had always been a giggly person. You laughed alot too. That was one of the first things he noticed about you. The weird faces you made trying to contain your laughter, and the angelic sound that followed because you were never able to hold it on for long.

He absolutely adored it, even he didn't make that known, even if he probably didn't even realize it himself.

He was no jester, he was a charming liar at best. He knows how to apeal to others to get them on his side, but even he never really dabbled in humor.

You were one of his subordinates, his favorite actually. You were too scared of him to notice his favoritism towards you. You did what was asked of you and left immediately, not wanting to stay in the scary mans presence any longer. Its times like that when he wishes he had been a little nicer. Because of this, the two of you were rarely in each others presence.

You made friends with other members of the Hassaikai. Most notably rappa, and older recruit haruko, you bonded over your lack of fondness for overhaul. Another one was setsuno, he was pretty cool, though was very fond of overhaul.

Haruko and setsuno were the ones you engaged in stupid humor with.

And here you were, laughing at one thing then, setsuno pointing out another funny thing, and thus a chain reaction of everything being funny would erupt. Your stomach hurt from all the laughter, holding it on the ground as you wheeze. You cant even remember what it was that was so funny in the first place. You try to get up and broom as that was the task at hand, but your swipes were weak and shakey because of your laughter. You try to tell him to stop and shut up so you can clean with an unserious and laughterous voice. But it seems he can't even stop himself. You try to catch your breath as you back up, distancing yourself in hope that you can focus. Your laughter comes to a halt when you bump into something- someone- Someone tall, you freeze for a second hoping, and praying to every god that it wasn't him. You turn around swiftly and your smile falters, very noticeably at that. Your tone monotone as you bow and apologize (and beg to the gods that he doesn't overhaul you). Your apology alerts setsuno and he comes running on his knees apologizing right next to you.

His eyes narrow and just walks away, giving off an annoyed expression. Hes annoyed, but for a different reason. That fact that seeing him ruined your day is something he doesn't like.

How he wishes he would engage in your stupid banter, somthing he would call anyone else stupid for, is something he so desperately wants to do with you, but unfortunately that just isnt like him. Hes come to terms with the fact that he wont amplify your laughter, but he hates stopping it.

[bengiyo]

The Novelist: Playback (2021) Stray Thoughts

We've watched The Novelist, Mood Indigo, and Spring Life. Let's watch these two try to survive long distance.

Yes, please recap for the people who maybe got dragged to a theater for this.

No car BJ? So glad I watched Spring Life already.

Oh, we're getting a bed scene. I forgive them.

Finally, we're talking about insertion and then immediately going to realistic angles. Good job, BL.

I like the way the age gap is playing into how Rio handles his disappointment that Kuzumi frequents sex clubs with his senior.

Oh, I like that we're getting more interactions with Kamuuda.

Rio's sister is always punking him.

"People who are happy have no need for art or literature," is such a cynical read.

Wow, there is a lot of resentment here.

Oh shit, this woman took out his writing hand. That's ironic. I am amused.

Oh my goodness, are we going to make an even younger boy write for him??

Never have I been happier that a boy was illiterate.

No man is immune to Kijima's sexual energy if he turns it on them it seems.

OR WOMAN, IT SEEMS!

Poor Kuzumi. Rio is a hard man to love.

Oh lord he got this boy doing the writing now. Goddammit.

Oh good Kuzumi is here. Please fix this.

I'm so glad Kuzumi caught him with the boy.

HE REALLY SAID THAT HE ACTUALLY HURT HIS HAND THIS TIME!! 🤣

Is this the first time Rio has said his given name?

I love this woman.

Oh, please don't slow zoom onto just Haruhiko to tell me that they're not going to make it.

Oh, I shouldn't have gotten attached to Haruko.

Interesting. I suppose they did foreshadow that Haruko is popular with men.

I'm going wild over the cinematography of Rio's pacing during this fight. Incredible acting from both of them in this long take. Rio can be such a jerk.

Did Rio never recognize the crazy in Haruhiko's eyes? It was the first thing I noticed about him.

Japanese characters are so good at staying still and pretending to sleep when someone looms over them.

I just love Japanese filmmaking. I love trusting actors to act and I love the composition of these shots.

"It's not about being tough. You become tough when someone is important to you." Come through, Haruko!!!

I'm fond of Shizuo.

I'm glad Kuzumi didn't answer his phone and Kijima has to take the leap of going to Tokyo without reassurance.

Kido, you have a daughter. Why ask that question?

Finally a forthright, vulnerable apology and confession from Rio.

I love that these two always kiss like maniacs.

I just love trains.

Families are difficult, but Rio is still loved.

Hands only, baby!!

Y'all awfully vocal for hands only.

The moon is beautiful tonight.

Wow these two have incredible blissed-out faces.

Oh, Rio. I felt that wall breaking. Goddamn Takezai Terunosuke is good.

"Is there really such a life without loneliness?" is a great rebuttal to Rio's cynical view.

Aww, she smiled for her brother.

I'm so glad things ended well for Haruko and Shizuo as well.

Final Verdict: 10, If You Are Male and Queer Please Watch This Franchise Immediately. I'm giving this movie a 10 for the way the entire franchise has been the most satisfying experience I've had in BL in a really long time. I keep begging for realistic approaches to male-male intimacy and relationships, and this franchise hits it constantly. Rio is layers of bullshit hiding an incredible loneliness and sense of worthlessness, and it was so satisfying to see him claw his way out of that because he found someone else who finally connected to him. It's been a really long time since I felt this good about going back to something I skipped over for one reason over another, and I can say confidently that I fully trust @lurkingshan recommendations. If you are gay and feeling a bit displaced in BL, please watch this, and then ping her, me, @harurio @ginnymoonbeam or @waitmyturtles. I promise it will be worth your time.

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

Lovers & Friends (18+ Fic)

Pairing: Keigo Takami x Black!Fem!Reader (Friends to Lovers)

Synopsis: In which you and Keigo have begun to realize the strange new feelings you both have for each other after one drunken night at a close friend’s wedding that ends with you in his bed, but because of your longtime friendship and committed relationships with other people, you’re more than happy to forget that night even happened and keep your mutual feelings in the dark…for now, at least. 

Story Warnings: Smutty smut; 18+ (MINORS GET AWAY); Cheating/Infidelity; Mating; Light Degradation; Spanking; Exhibitionism; Multiple Positions; Creampie; Unprotected PIV Sex; Facials; Scent Play; Marking; Spitting; Deepthroating; Cunnilingus; Begging; Edgeplay; Power Play; Daddy Kink; Some Angst; Hurt/Comfort; Mild Violence

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic (except for Rei and Haruko). However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

Writer's Note: DRAMA BELOW. -Jazz

Chapters: One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty. Bonus Chapter.

Read on AO3 here!

************

Chapter Eight: The Walk of Shame.

The first thing that awakens you is the blinding light pouring through the curtains. 

As soon as you open your eyes to be welcomed by the golden sunlight, a horrible pounding sensation takes over your head. You hiss at the feeling, moving the heel of your palm to press against your head.

“Ah, shit,” you groan in pain. It feels like an entire mallet is hitting against the inside of your skull. You instantly know this kind of headache and where it’s coming from: you’ve got a hangover. 

You finally open your eyes and face the ceiling, realizing immediately that it isn’t yours. The wall is painted a cream color while yours is a light gray. You also notice that you’re sore.

You figured you danced last night so that could be a part of it…but then you also feel a draft. Everywhere, actually. You feel cold like you’re standing naked under the air-conditioning that is blasting throughout the room. 

…..Wait.

You peel back the pale blue sheets that also aren’t yours and realize that you are very much naked. No stitches of the clothing you wore last night are on you. Immediately, the haze of sleep leaves you as the shock and confusion set in.

Where are you? Where are your clothes? Whose room is this? What happened last night? 

You groan as you slowly turn over, your muscles aching like you just got down a rigorous workout. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what you find lying next to you…or rather who you find lying next to you. He is facing you, just as naked as you are.

The morning sun illuminates his tan skin and blonde hair, turning each strand to spun gold. His long lashes flutter against his cheeks where you see the lightest dusting of freckles upon his cheeks. Even his burn scar looks beautiful in the morning light.

He looks so peaceful and serene. Your best friend. Your Hawks. 

Your heartbeat immediately picks up speed as your gut drops into your ass. 'No,’ you think in horrible realization. ‘We didn’t…we couldn’t have!’ 

You clutch the sheets to your naked chest and abruptly sit up in the bed, ignoring the pain exploding in your head, and look around. You find your and his clothes stern about the room on the floor, underwear included.

You also notice something peculiar-the bed doesn’t look like the bed. Blankets and pillows are carefully and meticulously placed around you almost as if to protect you from the outside world. It almost appears like a nest. “What?” you whisper to yourself. 

And then the memories from last night come rushing back at full speed like you’re getting whiplash: Fathom’s wedding; the fight with Rei; Keigo fighting at the nightclub; the pool; the kiss.

It’s all blurry after that, but you can remember snippets of what transpired afterward: the cool hotel bedsheets against your skin when Keigo laid you down; his lips on your skin; the taste of him in your mouth; hands and heat all over you; the way you screamed when you came all over him. 

A horrified scream you don’t realize is coming from you until seconds later rips from your throat, startling Keigo from his slumber. You don't even realize he’s talking until you turn around and reactively punch him right in the cheek. It isn't that hard but it hits. You can tell from how your fist stings and Keigo instantly grabs his cheek.

“Ow!” he shouts, his hand shooting up to his cheek. “Fuck, Y/N, what the fuck is wrong with you?!” He sits up and glares at you, not even realizing that he is naked. 

You glare back at him, moving as far away from him as you can. “What the fuck is wrong with me?” you snap. “Bitch, what the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you naked?! Why does the bed look like this?!”

You motion around the bed while Keigo rubs his cheek, still scowling. “Da fuck are you…” Finally, he looks around and his eyes widen in fear. “Oh, shit,” he swears. “No, no, no, no…” 

He jumps out of bed, knocking over dozens of pillows in the process. You don’t know why, but as soon as you catch a glimpse of his flaccid cock hanging between his muscular thighs, your stomach lurches. You immediately put your hand to your mouth to avoid spewing chunks all over the bed.

“Oh, God,” you groan. Keigo snaps his head towards you, panic all over his face. “I’m gonna be sick.” You don't try to elaborate because the feeling in your stomach gets worse. 

You race out of the bed, nearly tripping, and run toward the bathroom across the room. You barely have time to make it to the toilet before you’re throwing up all into the toilet bowl, your dinner and the alcohol from last night making an appearance in the blue water below. You grip the toilet seat as you sputter and cough, tears pricking your eyes. When you feel as if you’re finally cleaned out, all you do is heave into the toilet, trying to catch your breath. 

Keigo comes in behind you and takes hold of your hair, his fingers stroking your back. “Just let it out, Y/N,” he coos. “It’s okay.”

A memory of him saying the same shit while you were cumming makes you jolt away from him. “Don’t touch me!” you demand, slapping his hands away. You ignore his hurt gaze as you jump up and grab a robe from the door, covering yourself with it. “And don’t tell me it’s okay either!” you snap. “None of this is okay, Keigo!” 

“Don’t you think I know that?” he growls, frustration evident on his face. “I’m just trying to make shit not hit the fan any less than it already has!”

You hastily tie your robe and avoid looking at him, not wanting to see him despite him now wearing underwear that he hastily threw on. “Well, you’re doin’ a shit job at that,” you huff, equally as embarrassed and angry. Angry at him and yourself for letting this happen. 

“How the fuck did this happen?” you wonder aloud. “What did we even do last night?”

Keigo stares at you carefully, sizing you up. “You don’t remember anything?” he asks. You look at him finally, doing your best to keep your eyes above. “The last thing I remember is going to the club and then the pool,” you admit. ‘And the kiss.’ “The rest are just bits and pieces.” 

Bits and pieces that are coming back to you slowly but surely, whether you like it or not. “Do you remember anything?” you ask curiously.

Keigo shakes his head, a permanent scowl on his face. “Not much, but I remember that we kissed. And we came here at some point during the night since I’m the one that checked into the room, but I can’t even remember getting to the front desk.” He presses a hand to his temple, rubbing it. 

“So we did…” You trail off, the horror of what happened setting it. Though you already knew, Keigo’s words give you the information you need to piece the puzzle together. Now there is no denying it now: you had sex with your best friend.

“Oh, my God,” you gasp. “Oh, my God, oh, my God…” You begin to shudder as a horrified hand slaps onto your open mouth.

A pained expression crosses Keigo’s face as he watches you. “Y/N,” he begins, reaching a hand out for you. But a knock on the door stops him. Like a switch flipping, his eyes turn into crimson slits and his feathers sharpen like jagged knives. His entire body tenses like he is anticipating a threat. He is stepping right into hero mode. 

You realize that you’ve never seen him like this before––so feral. Not even last night at the club was he this terrifying when he fucked up that guy on the dance floor. “K-Keigo?” you stutter, unsure of what’s happening. Why is he acting like this?

He blinks at you, his eyes softening and his body relaxing. However, his feathers never soften. “Stay here,” he demands before storming out of the bathroom to get the door. 

As soon as he’s gone, you find the strength to move to hit the shower. You definitely need one. You strip off your robe and turn the dial up to the hottest setting, not caring if you burn your skin.

The shower head is one of those ones that make the water shoot out in streams like a rainforest waterfall. You instantly step under and pretend you’re in that forest, away from this hotel room and the horrible thing you just did. You grab the soap from the corner of the shower that smells of mango and vanilla, squirting it all over a washrag and scrubbing yourself down. 

But no matter how hard you scrub or wash yourself, you still feel dirty. Disgusting. Revolting. You feel like the nastiest bitch that has ever walked the earth.

How could you do this to Keigo? To yourself? To Rumi and Dabi? And what about Sakura? What about Rei?

Though he seemed to want to end things for good, you had left the door open for him. You wanted to talk things over after the Heroes’ Gala. Not to mention he already believes you’re in love with Keigo. What if he finds out about this? 

You don’t realize that you’re crying until you hear your own sobs echo in the shower. You have to cover your mouth to avoid being heard. 

After your shower, you wrap your wet hair in a towel and your body in a robe before walking into the hotel room’s living room. Keigo is sitting on the couch near the window in front of a white tablecloth table surrounded with freshly-cooked breakfast–waffles with powdered sugar and syrup; bacon; sausage; bowls of strawberries, cantaloupe, and honeydew; a pot of freshly brewed coffee and a jug of orange juice on the inside.

“What’s that?” you ask, pointing at the meal. Keigo looks up at you, frustration all over his face. “What’s it look like?” he grumbles. “They sent up a complimentary breakfast for pro hero no. 2 and his girlfriend.” 

Your stomach sinks at his words. “So now the hotel staff knows we fucked,” you realize, panic flooding within you. Who else knows that you’re up here together? “Kei, if any of this gets out to the public–” 

“It won’t,” he swears, his eyes urgent. “The hotel owner knows me, remember? I saved him from a villain attack a year ago so whatever I do here is kept under wraps, including hookups.” He snags a piece of bacon and chomps on it rather aggressively.

Your ears perk at his poor choice of words. “Is that why you brought me here?” you sharply ask. “To hook up with me?” 

He swallows the bacon immediately and glares at you. “No,” he answers firmly. “You know damn well that’s not what I meant.”

But your irrational anger and need to blame someone other than yourself are rising within you, unable to be stomped down. “How can I believe you when you kissed me last night?” you hiss. “How can I not assume you just dragged me here to take advantage of my vulnerability and get in my pants?” 

Keigo stares at you like you just told him you’re pregnant. “Are you fuckin’ forreal?” he scoffs, standing up now. His wings ruffle, an indication that he’s very, very angry. “If I can recall correctly, you kissed me last night. Second, I asked you if you were sure and you gave me your full consent, so don’t act like I took advantage of you. Don’t you dare make me out to the bad guy here, Y/N. I get that enough.” 

His words punch a hole straight in your heart and guilt overwhelms you. What are you doing? Why are you here putting all the blame on him when this is your fault too?

“I’m a horrible person,” you sob. You turn away from him, covering your mouth as you begin to cry again. Keigo swoops in to comfort you immediately, his arms and wings wrapping around you. “No, you’re not,” he soothes. 

“Yes, I am!” you lament. “I ruined our friendship, Rei already thinks I broke up with him for you, and then I go and…” Your mind drifts even further and you feel shittier with every mile it goes.

“And what about Sakura? Oh, God, Keigo…” You begin to breathe heavily, practically hyperventilating.

Keigo grips your arms, his eyes staring into yours. “Y/N, honey, you gotta breathe,” he gently but firmly tells you. “Deep breaths for me, okay?” 

He begins to demonstrate for you, inhaling and exhaling deeply. You mirror his moves, inhaling until your stomach expands and exhaling until it’s flattened. Your breaths stutter at first as you hiccup after sobbing so much. However, slowly but surely, you start to calm down.

“There,” Keigo coos, rubbing your arms. “Come on and sit; you’ve gotta eat something. We can figure this all out when you get something in your stomach.” 

You oblige and sit across from him at the table. You eat in awkward silence and you don’t look at Keigo even though you can feel his eyes on you. He watches you slowly chew on your waffles coated in sugar and syrup; chomp on a strawberry and a piece of bacon; sip on your OJ that eases your headache.

“Feelin’ better?” Keigo asks, sipping his coffee. 

You think he’s referring to your hangover at first, but then you realize that that isn’t it at all. “No,” you instantly reply with a mouthful of waffles. You chew and swallow before voicing your panic. “This is really bad, Keigo. I can’t just sit here, eat waffles in peace, and pretend like I didn’t just fuck my best friend.” 

Keigo’s gold eyes sharpen at your blunt words. “I’m not asking you to, but it’s better than having a damn panic attack.” You groan, putting your head in your hands. “How did this even happen? How did we even get here?”

You look back up at him and glare at the way he calmly sips his coffee. “And why are you acting so calm about it?” 

He gently lowers his cup to the table, but you can now see how hard he’s gripping it. “To keep from losing my shit,” he growls. “Don’t you think I get how bad this is, Y/N? I feel horrible for doing this to Sakura.”

He sighs heavily, putting a hand to his head. Your heart practically explodes with fear as reality begins to set in a bit more. When he mentions Sakura, it’s like a slap in the face. Keigo cheated on her with you. “Are you gonna tell her?” you weakly ask. 

Keigo doesn’t look at you, still rubbing his head with his hand. “I don’t know yet,” he sighs frustratedly. You almost don’t want him to, but you know that it wouldn’t be right. Sakura is a sweet girl and obviously likes him a lot. It kills you inside to know that you’d be contributing to her hurt.

‘In that case, he doesn’t need to say anything,’ the devil on your shoulder hisses. ‘If he doesn’t tell, she doesn't get hurt.’ 

A sudden beep makes you nearly jump out of your seat. Keigo reaches into his pocket for his phone and scowls at the screen. “Goddammit,” he swears. “I got a meeting in about two hours. I should be at work right now.” You don’t even know what time it is. You don’t want to know either. 

Without another word, you stand from your seat, withering slightly at Keigo’s despondent expression.

“We’ll have to leave then,” you say, already moving to the bedroom to collect your things. “Have the rest of the food; I’m not that hungry anyway.” 

Then you disappear into the bedroom and shut the door. 

**********

After dressing and checking out of the hotel, Keigo drives you home in silence.

And damn, is it awkward. Even with the music softly playing from the radio, the tension is strong and too thick to cut through. You’re afraid of speaking though. You don’t want to say the wrong thing or cause an argument…but you also know that this can’t go on for long. You need to talk about it. 

You turn to Keigo, watching him in silence for a moment. He stares straight ahead, his jaw set tight. One hand gripping the wheel while the other is tapping against the glovebox. You know that this is a nervous habit of his. He’s practically duking it out with his emotions right now.

You clear your throat, earning his attention. “I’m sorry about what I said earlier,” you say. “Insinuating that this is all your fault. That was wrong of me to do.” He barely glances at you. “S’fine,” he murmurs. 

You roll your eyes, hating when he does this––when he completely shuts down and doesn't express how he feels. “It’s not fine, Kei,” you huff. “Stop saying that it’s fine or it’s okay. None of this is fine or okay!” You turn away to look out the window at the trees and blue sky rushing by.

‘You should’ve never gotten so drunk,’ you internally criticize yourself. ‘You should’ve never gone to that club in the first place. You’re so, so stupid. Now, look at what you’ve done!’ 

You lean your head against the window, tears of guilt beginning to rise again. “Stop that,” Keigo sternly says. “I can practically hear you beating yourself up. We just made a mistake, Y/N; a very big one, yes, but a mistake nonetheless that we can get passed. We’ve gotten past worse, haven’t we?”

He spares you a glance, love in his golden eyes. Love he still has for you despite this hurdle. 

You sniffle, willing your tears away. “You’re right,” you sigh, beginning to do mental gymnastics. “We were hella drunk and I was vulnerable, but it will never happen again. Can never happen again.” Keigo nods, agreeing with you. 

Then your mind travels and you start thinking about other things. If this gets out, it will ruin your reputation as well as Keigo’s. Nobody likes a cheater or a home wrecker!

Then your mind drifts on to think about people you know: Rumi; Dabi; Nemuri. You don’t even want to imagine what they’ll think if they hear about this…but they never will. You’ll make sure of it.

“We can never tell anyone about this either, Keigo,” you urgently tell him. “Whatever you do with Sakura is your business, but we can’t tell Rumi, Dabi, or anyone else. This just stays between us.” 

Keigo doesn't say anything, but you can see him gripping the wheel a little harder. “And if anyone asks about last night, you were at home but you crashed,” you continue. “I went out of the city to visit my folks to clear my head about Rei.”

You watch him carefully, waiting to see if he’ll agree with this idiotic plan. But ultimately, he does. “Okay,” he agrees. “We’ll do it your way.”

You exhale in relief and sit back in your seat, slumping as you do. For now, you two are safe. 

The ride isn’t for long and when Keigo finally parks in front of your condo, you hurry to unlock your seatbelt and grab your clutch. “Thanks for the ride,” you mumble, not even looking at Keigo. You go to open the door, prepared to rush through the lobby in your clothes from last night. 

“Hold up,” Keigo says, stopping you short, his hand on yours. You turn to him, your hand still on the door handle. “I know things are lookin’ bleak right now, but let’s not make it that awkward, okay? Whenever you’re ready, we have to talk about this, Y/N. We can’t just ignore it.”

His eyes are pleading for you to understand, to see things his way, but you just can’t. Not right now. Without another word, he releases his hold on you and you quickly head towards your condo, never turning around to face him. 

Nobody says shit when you walk through the lobby and use your key card to get yourself upstairs. You’re hoping that Rumi isn’t home or is asleep so you don’t have to explain to her where you were last night.

But as soon as you step out of the elevator to your condo and find her in the kitchen, you know that that isn’t happening. She turns to you in her silk, pink robe, her white hair tied in a high ponytail that cascades down her back. Her expression is cold as ice as she leans against the kitchen counter with a mug of iced coffee. “Well, look who decided to show up after scaring me half to death,” she grumbles. 

‘Shit.’ You sigh, putting your clutch down on the couch. “Rumi–” 

But she doesn’t allow you a moment to apologize. “Where in the hell have you been at? I’ve been calling you nonstop!” Her brows furrow at you, filling you with guilt. “You never came home last night and Keigo wasn’t at his crib when I called either. I was this close to wranglin’ up other pros to search for y’all.” 

You look down at your heels, cringing at the vision of them lying on the hotel floor. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you apologize in a rush. “Last night was…a lot.”

Rumi waits for you to elaborate, a steely expression on her face. “I broke things off with Rei,” you sigh tiredly. “After the wedding, Keigo took Sakura home before we left for the club. While we were there, I wasn’t feeling up to partying, so I left to visit my folks to clear my head.” 

The sharpened look in Rumi’s eyes soften at your shit-lie story. She turns slightly to grab a spoon and begins to stir her coffee. “Did Keigo drive you?” she asks, raising a brow at you. 

“No, I just took a Lyft,” you lie on the fly. “I took a Lyft back home too, so I just got here not too long ago. As for Kei, as far as I know, he went home after dropping me off, so maybe he crashed.”

You walk into the kitchen, leaning your head on her shoulder. “I’m sorry I didn’t call,” you mutter. “I promise that it won’t happen again.” 

She glances down at you, still not looking too happy. “Well, at least you’re safe,” she sighs, “but I still wanna beat your ass for making me worry though.” She bumps your hip with hers as she walks by to the fridge.

You watch her, rolling her eyes at her overprotectiveness. “Like I’m not a pro hero and can’t take care of myself,” you scoff. 

Rumi hums indifferently as she opens the fridge and bends forward to get out some items. “Doesn’t matter. You were drunk and now I’m hearing you broke up with Rei, so that makes you even more vulnerable.”

She retrieves a carton of strawberries and blueberries, meaning she’s about to whip up some oatmeal––her favorite. “So how’d he take it?” she asks, raising a brow at you. 

You advert your eyes, staring at the wall instead. “Not good,” you weakly reply. The image of Rei’s betrayed expression flashes across your mind’s eye, followed by the lust in Keigo’s.

You groan, pressing a hand to your head. “Look, can we talk about this later? My head is killing me and I need to sleep ‘cause I feel like–“ 

Footsteps belonging to a stranger stop you short. You turn, finding the hot guitarist coming out of the downstairs bathroom in one of Rumi’s robes, this one being of Kuromi. When she sees you, her eyes widen. “Oops, sorry,” she says in a deep voice that even gives you chills. “Just wanted to get my clothes.”

Rumi reaches for the box of instant oatmeal in the cabinet above the sink, barely reacting. “Folded up for you in the bedroom, babes,” she calls. 

The guitarist gives you a sheepish smile before hurrying upstairs. You turn to Rumi, crossing your arms over your chest. “Whore,” you scoff. 

She smirks at you as she whips up her breakfast, a glint in her eye. “You weren’t the only one who was drunk and vulnerable last night.” 

[kdnss77]

Girl Hell 1999/Shojo jigoku ichi kyu kyu kyu (1999)

basic info: directed and written by Daisuke Yamanouchi (also known as the executive of such titles as "Red Room" or "Celluloid Nightmares" from the same year). it's classified under the genre of horror, for the sake of including acts of slight gore, violence and a broad range of sexual abuse performances.

overall ratings: imdb: 5,1/10 letterboxd: 2,5/5

plot summary: the movie sets off with a melancholic shot featuring the protagonist, 17-year old Misaki, which turns out to be a leap into the future in the latter take (and, probably, captures the rather suicidal state of her mind - as the events unfold, we're gradually familiarized with all that the girl had dealt with and what has left her almost completely callous to the matter of her own existence). subsequently, we learn that Misaki actively supports a homeless woman living near the bridge in the town, bringing her leftover food and keeping her company. however, it turns out she's in the center of attention of both a young, although extremely short-tempered and abusive worker and an individual standing behind the repetitive thefts of her biking seat (which, to me, at first seemed more of a cruel joke made by her classmates, so as to bully her. but it comes down to a gross piss kink later on). its also revealed that the schoolgirl parts her daily life with an unpredictable father and a heavily wounded sister, who constantly needs to be taken care of. her sibling's immobility is unfortunately taken advantage of by the parent, him imposing becoming an object destined for rape only on her. more into the movie, when Misaki resigns on meeting the guy interested in her, he and his loyal friend run for a vigorous killing spree in revenge - first, they brutally deal with the oblivious woman from under the bridge, then knock Misaki's father off and end up torturing her sister until she's become completely lifeless. in the meantime, Misaki herself is captured by the pervert, who has been the initial cause for her bike seat to magically disappear (this sequence includes a picture of the man drinking her urine from a tube). then we're finally brought to the point, with which the whole movie began - Misaki's out of any emotions, becomes completely soulless and simply gives herself in to the two previously mentioned friends, who have just murdered her only family. the ending scene is rather unexpected - while walking off, the protagonist encounters the beaten up, homeless woman, holding a different doll (the previous one and therefore the one woman has been taking care of so thoroughly ever since - Haruko - had been destroyed by the workers). this sight causes the girl to snap and proceed to continuously hurt the terrified woman with a bat.

my thoughts: this one, no matter from what angle you look at it, is plainly pointless. just a story about a schoolgirl who somehow happens to have everything and everyone against her, suffering non-culpably for being too pure and kind-hearted for this world. having oversimplified what my reflections on this have morphed into so far, of course. nevertheless, the movie has some remarkable bits, that make it live up to my expectations in a way. in terms of the production it's, however, way below those - it's clearly a low-budget one, what emerges in inadequate cuts or sudden lightning changes (on the contrary, one could state that this was purely intentional - personally i liked the random alternations between first colored and then black-white canvas in the meantime of all the dramatic shots. it points to some further vision and potential, that - unfortunately - wasn't entirely fulfilled). what i find valuable about "Girl Hell" is the aftermath of its story. the plot alone is rather senseless, but taking into consideration the burden protagonist has to deal with, it makes her a pretty complex character. firstly, she seems to live in constant fear - the moments, in which she contemplates on entering her own house are filled with unspeakable tension. deep inside she'd rather be anywhere else, far away from the hell she has to deal with every day after school. she never knows what to expect from her perverted and aggressive father, of whom she's afraid of and can't do much to stop him from sexually abusing her disabled sibling. her sister on the other hand, loathes her, even though Misaki is the one to treat her unhealed wounds. what's more, she's convinced Misaki's glad she ended up like this, prompting her to spiral down her own helplessness even deeper. in a hazardous confrontation with her father, after pointing a knife at him, she's also obstinately defending her mother, who had abandoned their family some time ago. however, it seems that - somewhere, under the surface of self-indulged guilt - she pities her parent for leaving her, not receiving this motherly kind of love. this lack emerges, among others, in the scene where Misaki starts to drink milk from a breast of the homeless woman - sucking on it just like a newborn child, almost wistfully. then, again, in the ending scene of the movie - when Misako realizes, that a new doll has already found its place in the arms of the lady, she rages on her with a blood-covered bat, granting her with numerous hits. to me, it seems that she might have seen herself in this particular piece of plastic - she's been simply thrown away by her mother (who, taking into account the words of Misaki's father, has probably run away with an another man), despite being nothing more than a child. it's symbolic in a way - it's the first and only time in the whole movie that Misaki lets her frustrations out instead of obediently cramming them inside. this scene, in fact, literally rescues the production as a whole. but it still doesn't contribute to exceeding the norms of mediocre watch. i just wish Yamanouchi contented himself on releasing a rather poorly made, although self-sufficient movie. and not something aspiring to be a high-budget crap, screaming with potential yet too proudly exhibited. and it's exactly what killed it.

my rating (on a scale from 1 to 5): 2,5/5

favorite quote: "I bet you feel real good, now that i've ended up like this." (these words come from Misaki's sister. i find them crucial in a way, as the point of the protagonist's story is the exaggerated focus her inability to prove anyone or anything wrong - including the self-loathing she most probably experienced too in the face of it. her family life is a torture, she's surrounded by perverts and abusive individuals, basically drowning in all sorts of depravation. it seems as if she was sentenced for them, the one to be blamed for everything that ever happens. just like you could imagine the generalized perception of hell, a never ending torture).

the images were found by me on the internet, credit to their original uploaders.

[beinghumanoid89]

Black and White

I hated Everything. Everything felt as if it meant Nothing in the end because they're True Feelings spoke louder than the fake smiles they displayed. I hated the smiles they would show me but would call me "Weird" or "Loser" behind my back as if I do not have feelings that can be hurt. As I sank deeper and deeper into my own Black thoughts, a bright light that shone as if being lulled into a Warm embrace. It was You Angel. The moment you offered your hand to me I felt I had a purpose again. The White Light you emitted was like a beacon of Hope, a Hope I never thought I would see in my lifetime. Your Heart was Pure. No ulterior motives. No fake smiles. No hopeless promises. When your best friend Leon took you from me, the Black Thoughts came back and all I wanted was to have that warm feeling again. I looked everywhere for you. I hacked into your friend "Moth"s account and found you again. I listened to you talk for hours. About your favorite things, your promotion at work at the Library and your crush on a stupid Webtoon character named Haruko. I started to study his mannerisms, copied his look and even dyed my hair so you can notice me. I hated my old self. My tattoos and piercings made me hate myself enough to not look in the mirror anymore because all I see is a Failure. But now since I have found you again my Angel, I can feel like Someone again. I changed into someone you can Love. The first time I was in your apartment, your scent filled my nostrils and for the first time I have felt Happiness. True Happiness. Thank you for making me feel Human again Angel! See you soon! -Ren

[witchcraftandburialdirt]

You're going to hurt her ! A protest in the background that causes her to narrow her eyes; their practice was not meant to draw attention, but it seems everything she does nowadays is followed closely by those around her. She recognizes the voice as belonging to one of the resistance leaders, one of the first to waiver the position to her instead. At this moment, Irelia reminds herself of that. They want her to lead; she doesn't have to follow what they think is right.

"Again," Her voice does not waiver, even as her body aches after the hit. It will take getting used to, but that's part of the point. No noxian would go easy on her; there is no time for gentleness amidst war. "Don't listen to them. I can do it — I can keep going."

She had to. The young dancer never expected there would be an after the stand at the Placidium, certain one of the soldiers would claim her life before either side could claim victory. Now that she's here, now that the hopes of so many are hers to carry... she has to do better. The next victory has to be more than luck. Pushing herself to keep trying is the least she can do for all those who look up to her now. "Don't go easy on me."

── 𝐔𝐍𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 ── LEAGUE VERSE

He can feel it - the sluggish pull of her muscles as she struggles to cope with the last blow to her body, her heart is pounding, the blood is rushing to each lesion in a desperate attempt to form a clot. Haruko's ears point down to her as he approaches with a slow and steady gait - his feathers relax from their fluffed appearance and settle back down. The Vastayan's gaze locks onto hers while his body moves the opposite of his spear - and soon enough she is on the ground below him. The tip tilts her chin up gently, the weapon connecting them into a silent conversation explaining that this lesson was over.

Haruko leans down to gather her into his arms, his hair like warm seafoam as it brushed against her damp skin. A brief embrace. He's quick to help her up - his grip strong enough to steady her beaten form, and for a moment he is calm; until he hears the same voice shuffling closer to berate him for being too harsh on her. Haruko's pale stare flicks back towards the source of the sound and not a moment is wasted - the blunt of his spear connects with their cheek to crack teeth into the puddling blood of the elder. Sunlight dapples across his bronzed skin and he steps lightly upon the man's throat to hold him down into the filth and muck. A fitting place for this type of person. His talons threaten to close around the man's neck - to puncture into his throat and rip out the precious mortal life that humans held so tightly. The impulse beats through his blood and tightens around his skull - a desire he's loathed to reject.

"Do not speak to me of mercy when you have deemed her your sacrificial lamb - What I am teaching her is not even close to the brutality the Noxian army has brought to our lands. You sit here safe beyond the reaches of death, rape, and torture behind a wall built by the corpses of your own people - of the children you've sent off. You're foolish and ignorant - and cowardly enough to depend on a child when she should be the one depending on the village to protect her. What a worthless life you lead, a leech incapable of defending itself or feeding itself without latching onto a more accomplished creature, Noxus would make quick work of you."

His eyes widened and his hand began to twitch with an insatiable urge to sink his blade deep into the man's chest - to show him what thousands of others had experienced in an effort to keep his miserable life safe. Haruko listened to the rapidly beating heart below him, now convinced evermore that humans were just lowly prey to be snared and butchered. The Lhotlan's neck tilted left as he observed the creature writhing in the dirt, pale canines visible with the mocking grin and wrinkled lip he gifted this pathetic excuse for a life:

"Without her you're nothing but fodder and meat for their hungry blades - and it scares you. It felt good, didn't it? Hiding under the cloak of your own righteousness. Stop acting as if you did not cause the bruises on her skin just as much as I did, or perhaps you're ever more to blame, after all, without your incessant screeching she would not be here. She would be safe in the countryside with me, but you couldn't risk that, could you? If you want her to not be hurt well - " Haruko stepped off of the man to drop his spear over his chest, "Fight your own battles, you fucking cunt."

Haruko turned his attention back to Irelia, his face softening and voice warm, "Come - I'll prepare a salt bath for your wounds. We're done for the next few days - they can train each other. You need to rest and I don't want to hear any whining or complaining about it. You're thick headed and stubborn, but within it all you are mortal - either you rest your body, or your body will give up on you. Now come, I want to wash myself of that lowly creature's blood - I feel infected just having touched it."

[starpy259]

Haruko x Hanamichi

I love the manga and also the anime. Though their relationship/loveline is clearly not the focus of the manga or anime but i think it is still something very beautiful, sweet tea in the summer.

Haruko, at first, simply believes he is very potential and really determines to bring him to the team. That pure motivation brings out the good thing in Hanamichi. He is soft whenever being near her, and also gets all stupid and clueless when she gets hurt (either becuz of herself or of him being strong when practicing basketball). He wants to be better in front of her, does not want to face her when he thinks he disappoints her.

She helps him out, mostly at the early stages with her basic experience and gentle approach. Cheer for him when others laugh at him (though it's still becuz of his foolishness)

He eventually loves basketball and a bright journey ahead. She also becomes one of the team’s managers.

So this very romantic and gentle song suit their FMV so so much!

[historyhermann]

Do It Yourself!! Review

Do It Yourself!! (Dū Itto Yuaserufu!!) is an original slice-of-life and DIY anime. The series is directed by Kazuhiro Yoneda and written by Kazuyuki Fudeyasu. It is produced by Pine Jam, a seven-year-old Japanese studio known for series such as Kageki Shojo!! and Just Because! In addition, Koyubita Beru's online manga adaptation began at the same time as the anime. This review will have spoilers.

Reprinted from Pop Culture Maniacs, my History Hermann WordPress blog on Jan 4., and Wayback Machine. This was the fifteenth article I wrote for Pop Culture Maniacs. This post was originally published on December 11, 2022.

The show's plot is simple and sweet: Serufu Yua (voiced by Konomi Inagaki) is an easygoing first-year student at Gatagata Girls' High School who joins the school's DIY club after the club's leader fixes her bike after she crashes. Her name, in Japanese order, is a homonym meaning "yourself", as in "do it yourself".

After joining the DIY club, Serufu makes new friends. This includes a third-year named Rei Yasaku (voiced by Ayane Sakura), also known as Kurei, who is the club leader, and a shy first-year named Takumi Hikage (voiced by Azumi Waki).

Serufu is later joined by an overly friendly, and energetic, girl from Southeast Asia named Kokoro Kōki / Shii (voiced by Karin Takahashi). Shii does not go to the same school, but is an external member of the club. These friends, and others, attempt different methods to gain more club members, so the club can remain at the school.

Humor is central to Do It Yourself!!. For one, Serufu is very accident-prone, causing her to always wear bandages on her face and arms. As a result, she often spends time in the nurse's office, for which she has perfect attendance. Her laid-back mother (voiced by Kikuko Inoue) even hides power tools in the house so that Serufu doesn't hurt herself. Adding to the humor are occasional scenes when Serufu, and her mother. eat pork while her pet pig, Meat, sits and shutters at the thought they are eating animal meat like him.

The series excels at being low-pressure and without drama, for the most part, in contrast to currently airing series like I'm the Villainness and I'm Taming the Final Boss and Bibliophile Princess, which are filled with dramatic storylines from beginning to end. At the same time, Do It Yourself!! is optimistic and uplifting.

The anime's characters are more than simple caricatures. For instance, Yua's friend, Miku Suride (voiced by Kana Ichinose), is given the nickname of "Purin" by Serufu since is tsundere about her true feelings. She often gets worked up, especially when it comes to Serufu. There's also her housemate, Juliet Queen Elizabeth VIII (voiced by Nichika Ōmori), also known as Jobko. Although she is a prodigy from the U.S., due to a language mix-up, so she ends up in the wrong school. She gives Miku the name "Pudding".

The series is not a simple slice-of-life story like Azumanga Daioh or Non Non Biyori. It doesn't shy away from harsh realities. For example, after everything seems lost at the end of the ninth episode, when materials the DIY club has been collecting for their treehouse are gone, the show does not take a dark turn. Instead, it remains upbeat. The club members are successful in gathering necessary excess materials along the way. They also learn that their club advisor, and school nurse, Haruko Hoketsu (voiced by Yumi Kakazu), was once a club member!

Do It Yourself!! touches on the "clash" between technology and hand-made materials. Purin goes to Yuyu Girls' Vocational High School, a high-tech school, while the other characters attend Gatagata, which is next door. Instead of saying one method, or one school, is better than another, the show gives the lesson that DIY ethics can mesh with techno-optimism and technology itself. Jobko is a perfect example of this, as is Purin, to an extent, combining their skills together for benefit of others.

Similar to currently airing anime, such as Encouragement of Climb: Next Summit, Management of a Novice Alchemist, and Bocchi the Rock!, the show contains yuri subtext. This is most evident between Serufu and Purin, with the latter having feelings for the former. Additionally, Kurei and Takumi bond over a similar interest in a fictional manga named Sunflower Girls.

The show's writing pulls you into the story and makes you want to watch more. This is unsurprising since the show's writer, Kazuyuki Fudeyasu, is known for his work on Black Clover and That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime. He has also been a screenwriter on well-known series like Encouragement of Climb, In the Land of Leadale, Wandering Witch: The Journey of Elaina, and Is the Order a Rabbit?.

Ryōhei Sataka writes the music for Do It Yourself!!. He is known for work on the iDOLM@STER series, Classroom of the Elite, D4DJ, and Boarding School Juliet. The music of the series is simple, easily fitting with the themes and story.

The writing, story, and music are enhanced by the show's voice talent. For instance, Ichinose depicted protagonists in Kaguya-sama: Love Is War, Carole & Tuesday, and If My Favorite Pop Idol Made It to the Budokan, I Would Die, while Sakura voiced characters in Wandering Son, Love Live! School Idol Project, and Spy x Family.

The show's other voice actors are known for work on series such as The Aquatope on White Sand, My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!, Tokyo Mew Mew, and Komi Can't Communicate. Their talents are put to good use in the series.

Do It Yourself!! is a perfect embodiment of the DIY ethic. Although it is sometimes grating to see the characters use power tools and other tools without any safety gear, that might throw off the "cute girls building things with their hands" vibe that the show is going for.

The series falls short only by dragging out the tsundere nature of Purin toward Serufu too long. If the series is only be 12 episodes long, it would be unfortunate if Purin spends more time with the DIY club in the opening credits than in the actual episodes. However, it is a distinct possibility that the series will continue into another season.

If another season of Do It Yourself!! was developed, it could focus on the strengthened friendship, or even romance, if that plot was chosen, between Purin and Serufu. New characters would likely get introduced, as the DIY club would expand after the "secret" treehouse is built.

Serufu reminds me little of Izumi-kun in the romcom anime Shikimori's Not Just a Cutie or even Milo Murphy in the sci-fi action comedy, Milo Murphy's Law. The difference is that Serufu has no backpack like Milo for any eventualities, nor does she have a sweet girlfriend, such as Shikimori-san, with excellent reflexes who rescues her from dangerous situations.

The focus on friendship, a do-it-yourself attitude, and peaceful family lives is a nice breather from the realism depicted elsewhere. There are no physically or psychologically abusive parents, similar to those in the short-lived sports drama series, Stars Align, nor any like Mother Gothel in the Tangled films and animated series. While such depictions are truthful as there are real-life relationships that some have with their parents or guardians similar to those depictions, it can be disheartening and depressing to see those depictions, at times.

Do It Yourself!! stands out as a strong slice-of-life series during a fall anime season filled with romance and drama. It has a different tone than other anime. It is more carefree, sometimes even happy-go-lucky. For that reason, I recommend the series wholeheartedly.

Do It Yourself!! is currently streaming on Crunchyroll.

© 2022-2023 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.

[jcmarchi]

Aligning economic and regulatory frameworks for today’s nuclear reactor technology

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/aligning-economic-and-regulatory-frameworks-for-todays-nuclear-reactor-technology/

Aligning economic and regulatory frameworks for today’s nuclear reactor technology

Liam Hines ’22 didn’t move to Sarasota, Florida, until high school, but he’s a Floridian through and through. He jokes that he’s even got a floral shirt, what he calls a “Florida formal,” for every occasion.

Which is why it broke his heart when toxic red algae used to devastate the Sunshine State’s coastline, including at his favorite beach, Caspersen. The outbreak made headline news during his high school years, with the blooms destroying marine wildlife and adversely impacting the state’s tourism-driven economy.

In Florida, Hines says, environmental awareness is pretty high because everyday citizens are being directly impacted by climate change. After all, it’s hard not to worry when beautiful white sand beaches are covered in dead fish. Ongoing concerns about the climate cemented Hines’ resolve to pick a career that would have a strong “positive environmental impact.” He chose nuclear, as he saw it as “a green, low-carbon-emissions energy source with a pretty straightforward path to implementation.”

Liam Hines: Ensuring that nuclear policy keeps up with nuclear technology.

Undergraduate studies at MIT

Knowing he wanted a career in the sciences, Hines applied and got accepted to MIT for undergraduate studies in fall 2018. An orientation program hosted by the Department of Nuclear Science and Engineering (NSE) sold him on the idea of pursuing the field. “The department is just a really tight-knit community, and that really appealed to me,” Hines says.

During his undergraduate years, Hines realized he needed a job to pay part of his bills. “Instead of answering calls at the dorm front desk or working in the dining halls, I decided I’m going to become a licensed nuclear operator onsite,” he says. “Reactor operations offer so much hands-on experience with real nuclear systems. It doesn’t hurt that it pays better.” Becoming a licensed nuclear reactor operator is hard work, however, involving a year-long training process studying maintenance, operations, and equipment oversight. A bonus: The job, supervising the MIT Nuclear Reactor Laboratory, taught him the fundamentals of nuclear physics and engineering.

Always interested in research, Hines got an early start by exploring the regulatory challenges of advanced fusion systems. There have been questions related to licensing requirements and the safety consequences of the onsite radionuclide inventory. Hines’ undergraduate research work involved studying precedent for such fusion facilities and comparing them to experimental facilities such as Princeton University’s Tokamak Fusion Test Reactor.

Doctoral focus on legal and regulatory frameworks

When scientists want to make technologies as safe as possible, they have to do two things in concert: First they evaluate the safety of the technology, and then make sure legal and regulatory structures take into account the evolution of these advanced technologies. Hines is taking such a two-pronged approach to his doctoral work on nuclear fission systems.

Under the guidance of Professor Koroush Shirvan, Hines is conducting systems modeling of various reactor cores that include graphite, and simulating operations under long time spans. He then studies radionuclide transport from low-level waste facilities — the consequences of offsite storage after 50 or 100 or even 10,000 years of storage. The work has to make sure to hit safety and engineering margins, but also tread a fine line. “You want to make sure you’re not over-engineering systems and adding undue cost, but also making sure to assess the unique hazards of these advanced technologies as accurately as possible,” Hines says.

On a parallel track, under Professor Haruko Wainwright’s advisement, Hines is applying the current science on radionuclide geochemistry to track radionuclide wastes and map their profile for hazards. One of the challenges fission reactors face is that existing low-level waste regulations were fine-tuned to old reactors. Regulations have not kept up: “Now that we have new technologies with new wastes, some of the hazards of the new waste are completely missed by existing standards,” Hines says. He is working to seal these gaps.

A philosophy-driven outlook

Hines is grateful for the dynamic learning environment at NSE. “A lot of the faculty have that go-getter attitude,” he points out, impressed by the entrepreneurial spirit on campus. “It’s made me confident to really tackle the things that I care about.”

An ethics class as an undergraduate made Hines realize there were discussions in class he could apply to the nuclear realm, especially when it came to teasing apart the implications of the technology — where the devices would be built and who they would serve. He eventually went on to double-major in NSE and philosophy.

The framework style of reading and reasoning involved in studying philosophy is particularly relevant in his current line of work, where he has to extract key points regarding nuclear regulatory issues. Much like philosophy discussions today that involve going over material that has been discussed for centuries and framing them through new perspectives, nuclear regulatory issues too need to take the long view.

“In philosophy, we have to insert ourselves into very large conversations. Similarly, in nuclear engineering, you have to understand how to take apart the discourse that’s most relevant to your research and frame it,” Hines says. This technique is especially necessary because most of the time the nuclear regulatory issues might seem like wading in the weeds of nitty-gritty technical matters, but they can have a huge impact on the public and public perception, Hines adds.

As for Florida, Hines visits every chance he can get. The red tide still surfaces but not as consistently as it once did. And since he started his job as a nuclear operator in his undergraduate days, Hines has progressed to senior reactor operator. This time around he gets to sign off on the checklists. “It’s much like when I was shift lead at Dunkin’ Donuts in high school,” Hines says, “everyone is kind of doing the same thing, but you get to be in charge for the afternoon.”

[lightlycareless]

First, it hurts— Chapter XXXIX

Naoya Zen’in x Fem!Reader

While arranged marriages are not uncommon in the jujutsu community, it was strange to receive a proposal from none other than the Zen’in’s, nonetheless your clan accepted and before you knew it, you were married off to Naoya.

Your new purpose was clear: to serve and submit, to be seen and not heard. To forget any sense of individuality in favor of obeying your husband.

Will this marriage ever flourish into something else? Will it change…for better or for worse?

Chapter warnings: there’s a lot of disdain from a particular someone, another person trying his best to do something, a bit of ooc I guess… and mentions of SA, abuse. AAAAND I think that’s about it. It get’s somewhat heavy in the end.

A/N: None heheheheh.

Now, without any further ado, happy reading! 🥰

Masterlist ➸ Chapter 40

Ao3 link.

It all started with a cough.

It happened whilst working with Haruko, trying to perfect your cooking skills. Soon after you sprayed some spices onto the dish you were preparing you started to wheeze.

The two laughed, especially when your face just kept getting red, subsequently doing a particularly funny scowl that had her howling at that point.

But outside of that, nothing—there was no suspicion of something else, so you left it at that.

The second time around, however, is when everyone around grew slightly concerned, when you began to feel a bit under the weather, evident by the way you struggled to complete your everyday activities, having to retire early for the day, and wanting nothing else to do but lay in bed and sleep.

By the third instance, the symptoms became all too obvious to ignore, uncloaking a shocking revelation:

You were sick.

Even with all the great care that you and your staff took, you still got sick.

You truly believed you’ve been careful enough to avoid that—however, after spending 7 days tending to a sick person, permitting him to get that close… it was only natural that you’d suffer some repercussions.

As if he hasn’t influenced your life enough, this also had to happen.

The only fortunate thing to come out of this, would have to be the lower degree of your sickness; you weren’t as… “delirious” as he’d been, certainly still in control of your behavior, which makes you wonder if Naoya’s softness was nothing but an act…

Well, whatever it was, there’s no denying you’re in a tight spot yet again, forced to quarantine inside you room and delay your responsibilities—something of a double-edged sword kind of thing, but only for Junko, because she didn’t take long to voice her opinion on your supposed carelessness.

“I thought I told you to be careful!” she’d scold “Now you’ve gone ahead and gotten sick, who else is going to be in the same predicament?!”

You hadn’t even considered it until she brought it up, immediately making you worried about their health. What if you accidentally made them sick as well? They couldn’t afford to not work!

Thankfully, the time it took the virus to settle in you, was the same for your ladies, so if they were to get sick they would’ve done so by now.

You don’t think you’d be able to live with yourself if that happened.

And even then, that was not to be your biggest worry yet.

What preoccupied you the most was the fact that Hitomi and Mariya had not been able to get along since the latter’s secret was revealed.

Haruko, even when taken aback by this revelation, was still able to show her support for the two and even try to mend things between the two, for in her own words, Mariya has done enough for the rest, she deserves something for herself.

Coincidentally it was the same thing Mariya’s parents told her when she revealed her new relationship to them. She’s never been one to get things for herself, always wanting to comply with what others wanted, or the greater good, a bit of a people pleaser if you must.

That only changed when Tatsuro introduced himself into her life—it took a while for her to accept him, as well as the risks this relationship entailed per their contract, but she eventually made up her mind and the rest is history.

Now… It was time to deal with Hitomi’s disapproval, which felt a bit more nerve wracking to Mariya than the time she had to tell her parents about Tatsuro!

You still didn’t understand why Hitomi had reacted so strongly to her predicament, but after much observation, you were able to place the pieces together:

Turns out that Mariya’s situation hit a bit too close to home for her. Apparently, Haruko, Hitomi and her mother grew to be very close after their father had abandoned them, with the seamstress being the most overprotective of the three, doing everything in her power to avoid a similar situation from happening.

She grew to believe that it would always be the 3 of them… until her mother decided to settle down with another man.

It was only natural that she’d move on when she felt the time was right, Haruko even encouraging for her sake. But when it came to Hitomi, well, she couldn’t help but perceive it as a betrayal of sorts, like her efforts had been all for naught, sentiments discarded to the side…

Hitomi couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that her mother had willingly put herself in a position that might compromise her yet again—Of course, those are things that no one knows with certainty when they’ll happen, if they ever do… but Hitomi was not one to wait and find out.

The similarities between Mariya and her mother, although subtle, were still there, but Haruko presumes there’s an ulterior reason behind her behavior…

“I don’t think she ever accepted him” Haruko disclosed the day it was her turn to tend to you. “She tolerated him the most when our baby sister was born, but even then… she always keeps her distance from him—maybe this is her way to show her discomfort… It’s a shame Mariya had to be caught in the middle of it”

In that sense, it was nothing but understandable… not justified, but it gave you a deeper insight of what was going inside Hitomi’s mind. However, when you supposed things would’ve cooled down by now, tension between the two seemed to be as lively as ever, and Mariya was not enjoying it at all .

“As soon as I’m near her she turns around and leaves” She’d confide in you in the middle of the night, the usual time for your reunions with her. “Whether she’s alone or with someone else, it doesn’t matter, she doesn’t want to speak to me. It’s like she barely even knows me…”

You press your lips—seeing your staff ruptured like this hurt you, more so because you believe you are responsible for such a thing. Had you been careful with your words, what you said and when you said it, Mariya would’ve never found herself in this situation.

Unfortunately, your guilt only grows when your condition binds you to your room. You literally feel both entrapped and useless in this small prison while Mariya and Haruko were out there, trying to mend this situation to the best of their capabilities. Maybe, if just maybe, you were able to talk to Hitomi more than just a few instances a day, get her to be a bit more empathetic to Mariya’s situation…

Oh, but who are you trying to fool? Haruko has more likely than not already tried that… failing miserably due to the results afterwards, given how they still struggle to keep communication between the two… besides, it’s not like you’re some kind of sait that could easily change someone’s outview in something. If you were, Naoya would be a completely different man.

…

Guess all you could do is wait and see what happens next.

“But don’t worry about that, Y/N. You should rest.” she says while giving you a tight smile. “A good night’s sleep can never do harm”

“…I guess so” you respond, sighing. Those things have historically always been easier said than done, but if there’s nothing else to converse about that, you suppose you could indulge in your curiosity for the outside world.

From a few days forward you’ve been hearing lots of commotion around the estate, so naturally, you had to ask.

“What’s going on out there? Seems like the estate is being turned inside out or something…”

“Oh! Right, the masters are getting ready to leave the estate. They always do around this time, the end of October”

“End of october…” you repeat, surprised it’s already October. Has it been that long…? “Where most sorcerers, if not all, are deployed.”

Except Naoya, who you assumed to be staying behind because of his suspension. Great. 

“So I heard” Mariya responds “Do you know the deal behind it?”

“It’s just because of Halloween” you explain “People tend to be… some, not all, very irresponsible with the dead around this time. Doesn’t help that it’s also one of the days with the most spiritual energy, so sorcerers have to keep an eye out for anything.”

“Now that you mention it, people do tend to mock the afterlife quite a bit… seems tiring to act as babysitter to them—Did you ever get a chance to work this time?”

No. This was supposed to be your first year doing so, actually. Another experience down the drain thanks to your new life.

“No, but my siblings and parents did. And yeah, it’s exhausting. Sometimes I wouldn’t even get to see them for days! It tends to be very demanding…”

“Makes sense why the whole estate is emptied then, but it’s a nice change of pace for us the staff. Less work” The two chuckle.

“What about the rest?” you change topics. “How’s Mai and Maki? I haven’t seen them in a while…”

“They’re fine, doing what they always do, school, chores, make Junko-san crazy… that kind of stuff” Mariya shrugs, you giggle. “However… after hearing you were sick, the’ve insisted in seeing you”

“Really?” you ask, delighted that even though you haven’t seen them as much, they still have you in their thoughts.

“Yeah, although their mother won’t allow it, but she did allow them to give you this ” Mariya says, taking out an envelope from her obi and handing it to you. You then open it by carefully ripping the edges, taking out the letter and relishing in the lovely contents they made just for you.

A crayola painted sunflower garden can be seen across the white paper, in the middle, there's a smiling figure presumed to be you, given the name written on top of it, accompanied by two little girls (them of course) equally happy, standing on each side. Lastly, in the upper area, large scribbled letters read the following message:

Get well soon.

Your heart swoons at the gesture, already knowing this is something that will remain dear to you in years to come.

Even when in the estate, through all the things you’ve suffered… you still managed to find people that genuinely care for you—and once again, you can’t do much to repay their kindness outside of thanking them.

Had you only met them through different circumstances, you would’ve been able to enjoy their presence much more than you already did, making sure to return all of their affections the appropriate way.

But what attached you to this reality wouldn’t allow it just yet, a sour reminder that even with their efforts, your husband will still make you miserable. 

And not only that, he’ll take whatever happiness you have and taint it, make a mockery of it, before completely destroying it.

You never asked for much in the past, but now, all you could ever hope for is his disappearance, the moment he’ll finally leave you alone for once in your life!

But you know that won’t happen, at least not soon, because of all things, persistent is what he’s mostly known for.

You probably already knew this, or presumed it at least, but Naoya remembers most, if not all, of that week he spent along with you while sick.

He remembers how you were there, every single day, just for his aid—There was no way he could forget, after all, your aura, your presence, and it’s hypnotizing effect was too hard to ignore; from the very moment he met you and up to now, it’s remained imprinted in his heart.

How you came rushing to him when his fever got worse, how you stayed throughout the whole night, how you fed him, clothed him, how you patiently explained what you were doing whilst working, and how warm you felt in his arms…

He remembers everything.

Yes, even the promise he made regarding your family.

…And how much he regretted telling you he didn’t.

He doesn’t know why he did it, why he suggested something he should’ve never done in the first place.

But he couldn’t stop himself, he couldn’t stop his heart from aching upon seeing the melancholic look on your face as you spoke about them. It pained him to see you like that, so… hopeless, lonely , that it evoked something in him and thus, spoke carelessly.

Yet, it was not meant to be—there was too much at stake to have made such a promise so foolishly; so many things to keep hidden from you. 

Even if it greatly hurt him to see the hope diminishing from your eyes, and subsequently out of his sight the following days, he had to do it. It was safer that way.

But for who?

For you—or for him?

This, amongst other existential questions, have been plaguing him since the moment you openly denounced him. And unfortunately for him, he doesn’t have Ranta to ease these burdens from his mind, leaving him to reflect on his actions and come to conclusions by himself.

It wasn’t nice, to have to take a good look at himself and realize just how different this marriage turned out to be compared to what he initially envisioned.

He didn’t want to think about it at first, doing everything in his power to avoid dwelling on the thought for more than a second—but after that terrible nightmare, where the sight of you intertwined in his brother’s arms continued to haunt him even in his wake, he decided to dive into the extremes and leave the estate entirely, force himself to focus on something else, in one thing he considered himself to be the best in… at least, until he was proven otherwise.

Even when a sorcerer is suspended, either temporarily or definitely, there’s always a way to work around that—either through a small task, a quick elimination, or money under the table—HQ was open to those kind of opportunities, more so for someone as prestigious as the heir of the Zen’in clan, which Naoya decided to abuse.

Per his request, Naoya was given the task of collecting a cursed object in a rather dangerous, highly active, rural area, something usually reserved for grade ones; if done successfully, his ban would be lifted and all records of his incident permanently deleted. 

Because Naoya thought himself more than capable, he took the mission without hesitation, careless to check if he was mentally prepared, and HQ couldn’t be any more detached.

As it would come to be, this would not only lead him to sabotage the mission, but expose himself to just a few moments away from death thanks to a simple miscalculation, barely rescued in time thanks to the sorcerer who was sent to oversee his progress noticing he had failed to set up a checkpoint when required.

Because Naoya had also managed to buy the proctor’s silence this small incident was kept under wraps from the rest of the community; however, the severity of his injuries meant that his family had to be informed nonetheless, unfolding everything else.

At that point, Naoya’s life could not have been more filled with mistakes, after mistakes, after mistakes, urging him to pursue a sense of satisfaction, instead of taking a breather to compose himself, only to fail once more.

Your husband believed to have hit rock bottom, spiraled into a hopeless pit where no one was to hear his cries for help… that is until you unexpectedly answered his call. Neither Naoya nor his staff expected it to be answered really, but it was, and it was sufficient to keep him alive .

Makes sense why he was over the moon when you came along, the only positive thing he’s gotten in his life for a while now.

But now that that is over, Naoya is back to the point where he has nothing— no one . Not even a semblance of hope to motivate him further, a paused career and a broken marriage.

Nothing.

He knows it’s stupid, perhaps even useless to think about it, but he wants something, a sign, an omen, a word, anything just to know there’s still something left for him to do, something… to not give up completely on everything—on you .

Because of all things he’s lost, you are the one that hurts the most. Not even his career, because that was something that was given to him by his blood, it was just a coincidence he ended up liking it. 

You were the one person he has ever sought after through his own volition, the only one he’s ever cared about.

Even through these obstacles, Naoya does his best to move on with his day just like he’d done prior, roaming around the halls for a bit of air before heading back to… well, whatever it is that he could do at this point. Train? He doesn’t feel like it.

Certainly not socializing—his close ones are way for the moment, and he’s not blind to the way the staff go silent whenever he’s around, always been like that since he can remember, but nowadays he can’t help but feel like there’s a malicious intent behind it, as if they were trying to hide something from him.

Well, he wasn’t too far off with that assumption, because after a few more cautious attempts to ease this hunch, he would discover the truth.

“What? She’s— what?! ” he’d say, slightly, very infuriated from the fact that he was the last person to know about your condition, again! You’re his wife, for god’s sake, shouldn’t he be the first informed? “Since when is she sick?!”

“Since Monday” one of the staff members would dare say, hoping to calm the storm his master bore—but if anything, this just made Naoya more irritated. What did he expect? That just because he responded to one question he’d be satisfied? Of course not! He needs to know everything about his wife!

The man nervously obliges. 

“She… uh, well, according to her staff, I mean, began to feel a bit ill the days prior, but it wasn’t Monday that she couldn’t even get out of bed.”

“She wouldn’t even be able to do certain tasks” other adds “Too… tired for that”

“And why was I the last one to know?” Naoya groans. The staff remains silent, certainly intimidated by his outburst, until a valiant one decides to step in.

“We… didn’t think it was appropriate to…” one quietly explains. “Since… you… you… you know—”

“What was that?” Naoya harasses. Oh, he’s going to remind them of how everything works around here. “Care to run through that again?”

“Because it’s no secret that whenever the two of you are together, hell breaks loose” another voice adds from behind, making the servants immediately bow, and shift Naoya’s attention— it was none other than his dreadful uncle, Ogi. Exactly what Naoya wanted to do first thing in the morning: deal with both the imprudence of his staff and family at the same time.

But he doesn’t respond, not when he’s clearly more preoccupied by your health and the staff’s seeming transgressions than whatever jab his uncle could make up on the spot. 

Ogi takes note of his silence, which irks him a bit for he somewhat enjoyed indulging in this push-and-pull game with his nephew, it was so easy to provoke him after all. Well, it’s not what he’s there for anyways.

“Leave us” Ogi says, and the staff does as ordered soon after.

Naoya isn't keen on their dismissal, feeling there was more he still could’ve gotten out of them… so whatever his uncle wanted, it must be good. “Are you done moping in your bedroom? I’ve been searching everywhere for you."

"I'm here, aren't I?" Your husband frowns.

"You're just as rude as your wife… truly, a match made in heaven" Ogi scoffs under his breath, but Naoya still hears him. Oh, how he wishes he could hit him right now, how dare he mention you?! "Either way, I'm only here to tell you the news"

“What… news…?” Naoya’s previous thoughts are completely discarded once those words were uttered, simply because he had made Ogi in charge of his most… urgent, if not confidential, matters. 

Like the grounds his marriage was made in. Meaning that if he had a reason to approach him, it was important , and after all that happened days prior, he could only think of the worst.

Did your sister finally find out the kind of agreement he’d made with your father? If so, how long ago did it happen? And how? He thought— he made sure to keep everything under wraps! Does he even have enough time to—

“That your ban is temporarily lifted so you can help you during the 31th of October”

Thankfully for him, that was not the case, which made some of the burdens on Naoya’s shoulders lift.

Nonetheless, he proceeds to be in shock.

“What?” Naoya breathes, still unable to believe his ears. “ Pardon? ”

"Extra hands are needed" Ogi explains, voice a bit tense for being irritated at Naoya's privilege. Had he been in his shoes, he knew he would never get the same opportunities. But oh well, he's got his revenge with you. “And, if your performance is good enough, they’re also willing to move past your small incident, lift your ban all together, and let you apply for a promotion sooner"

If Naoya needed evidence that the gods were listening to his prayers, this was it. The so-called sign he wanted to not give up and keep fighting, had arrived as expeditiously as ever.

Good news that would’ve made the old Naoya ecstatic, eagerly dropping everything on the spot to get back on the road and do what he did best, ensuring his career as a proficient sorcerer and getting that sought after promotion!

And yet, his mind was all but there, instead, he's at the estate, with you specifically, inside that small room as he presumes you to be having a horrible time, just like he did.

It didn't feel right to leave the house when you were sick, feeling both guilty for unwittingly passing on his sickness to you, and responsible, because as your husband, he should and wants to provide for you. 

Besides, if the least he could do after the week you spent with him, return the favor.

"When’s the latest I can leave?"

" Latest? " Ogi raises an eyebrow, mildly surprised by Naoya's question. "What for?"

"There are some things I want to deal with before I leave." Naoya responds, he would’ve liked his uncle to remain quiet and avoid giving unnecessary explanations, but he if has to…

And of course a man of Ogi's years, quickly recognizes this is to be a simple, yet bad excuse, as it becomes crystal clear to him that he wants to stay back with you.

The vivid contrast of how he initially handled you. Back then, he didn't want anything to do with you, relegating others for your care, and getting unreasonably angry when it didn't go as planned.

But now… he wants to be there, in the front line, as if you were even worthy of that consideration 

Ogi can't help but wonder what this means for their plans…

Well, if Naoya wanted to further ruin his life to be with a woman that wasn’t even that good per their standards, fine. He’ll let him be, it’s his funeral.

“A day before the meeting.” Ogi declares. “That’s all you have”

Naoya frowns. 

This means… he’ll only have around 3 days to be with you—no, less than that considering he still needs to prepare everything for his departure. It’s half the time it took him to get back on his feet… will it be enough for you? 

No. He doesn’t think so, but he'll take what he can get, any chances destiny has given him to earn his place next to your side, make it up to you, if only to see you happy once more.

“Thanks”

Ogi blinks, taken aback by his nephew’s sudden gratitude, but in the bigger picture he doesn’t really care, so he leaves without saying anything else.

With this newfound revelation Naoya knew exactly where he had to be, however, he was still ignorant of the gravity of your health since the staff hadn’t been disclosed of your status thanks to Mariya’s overzealous protection—did you have a fever like he did? If so, you need to rest, he hopes his aunt doesn’t push you to work through it. 

What about pain? That’s even worse, he can vouch for that, and there’s no doubt in him that you’re bored beyond belief in that room…

But what can he do to help you…?

Suddenly, his favorite memory of the week he spent with you flashes across his mind.

Any other time Naoya would’ve just waltzed over to your chambers… ordered his staff to give you what you needed, and stayed away after that. But upon recognizing you’ve been actively avoiding him, he needed a good reason to approach you—and bringing you some entertainment was the perfect starting point.

He also had to admit, however, that he doesn’t know… much about you, well, kind of. He clearly remembers some things from the first time he met you, but those aren’t within his grasp at the moment, and doesn’t want to waste time going out to get them…

Instead, he opts to play safe by approaching you, hoping to get your preferences and avoid repeating Matsuo's mistake.

With haste, Naoya makes way to your room, rather uneventfully until he bumps into a staff member, who after a few seconds of walking behind him, as well as noticing the tray on his hands, carrying a bowl of neatly cut apple slices and a glass vase with a singular lily, concluded they’re heading to the same destination.

Your husband didn’t think much of it—well, he didn’t want to think much of it, outside of how odd it was for a servant completely to be doting on one of the masters seemingly unprovoked… until the giddy look on his face made it impossible for him to keep quiet.

It’s been proven countless times by now that Naoya isn’t particularly fond of sharing his belongings with anyone. And his wife, especially her, is no exception. So, when he sees this nonchalant man happily heading over to your bedroom, bound to find you in a vulnerable position , it does not sit well with him.

With boiling anger, your husband swiftly stomps over to his direction, standing in front of him and startling the poor man on the spot, almost making him drop the tray in his hands (fortunately that didn't happen) before demanding an explanation.

“Where do you think you’re going with that?” Naoya badgered, as if his presence wasn't enough to intimidate him, he had to double down with his tone.

“Nowhere!” He lies, ignoring the blatantly incriminating evidence on his hands.

“You’re off to see my wife, aren’t you?” Naoya persists. “What, hoping to get lucky?”

“Wh— what ?! No!” The man doesn’t know whether to feel offended or frightened by the insinuation, either way he denies it all. “Of course not!”

“ Give me that! ” Naoya says, swiftly pulling the tray away from his grasp. “I better not see you around my wife—there’s a reason why I designated only women to be part of her staff.”

At that point, the frightened man can't do much outside frantically nodding, giving one last apology for his grave mistake, before eventually turning around and disappearing into the halls.

Once out of his sight, Naoya sighs and looks down at the tray, feeling a bit foolish that he hadn’t thought of this before, however, there is one thing that catches his attention more than the rest, and that’s the flower—why was he giving you a lily, of all the flowers in the world? Were they your favorite? 

He doesn’t recall anything of the sort, and surely hadn’t acknowledged there’s a whole garden of them in the estate, where you'd spend most of your time when relaxing.

But if they were… he figures he can get you more. Seems fitting that a beautiful girl like you would get flowers.

Either way, he’ll figure it out soon, but until then he can worry about your reaction to this offering of sorts. One that could work as an olive branch to mend the way his last conversation had ended with you… and maybe move past that promise he should’ve never done in the first place.

He thinks it’ll work, and after having a sample of your happiness, hopes it does .

But this sentiment briefly diminishes when arriving at your door, hand freezing just a few inches away from the edge after hearing your voice deep in conversations with someone else's.

A male voice, which unwittingly takes him back to his wretched nightmare. 

As much as he tried to convince himself that this couldn’t be, that nothing really happened, even though he had no proof of the contrary… it still manages to rattle him.

His hands tremble at the prospect of opening the door and finding you with someone else, especially after hearing you laugh, clearly enjoying their company—that was enough for him to consider walking away all together…

But he persists, because in his mind it doesn’t make sense that something like that would happen right now. Not… when you’re sick anyways.

Besides, Naoaki is out of the estate, most of his relatives are, which far from offering the comfort he wanted, gave him more things to worry about. If the people he could directly link to you were outside working… Then who were you chatting with?

Perhaps another member of the staff? What the hell were they doing inside your room? He doesn’t like that, men around you that is. He barely tolerated the way Matsuo spoke to you simply because he got things done, and he already dealt with that accordingly.

So who…?

Who was with you?

Well, no one else than one of his brothers, of course, the one that usually stays below the radar, and away from the vicious claws of the Zen’in.

The one many considered a below average sorcerer, the reason why he was scrapped from consideration for Halloween night, staying behind at the estate to eventually hear of your sickness, which he decided to ease by preparing  you something warm to eat, and keep you company while shyly relishing on the appreciation he rarely gets for his talent.

The youngest of his siblings— Naofumi .

Naoya no longer felt frightened when seeing him sitting by the edge of your futon… At least, not in that sense, for he continued to be intrigued, wanting to know just how close this relationship really was, enough for him to treat you so casually…

If only he had given attention to Ranta's words, he would've known this has been the case for a while, but as always, Naoya only focused on Naoaki.

Nonetheless, there's no doubt that he kept underestimating your reach when it came to his family, thinking that you were mostly attached to Naoaki, and nothing more… 

But what perhaps stood out more from this situation was the divide between the two, and how much worse it was than he anticipated.

Had he really been… this detached?

“What are you doing here?” you're the first to speak upon his entrance, having long suspected someone was to come thanks to the sound of approaching footsteps just outside your room—wishing it was Mariya, hating it was Naoya. And you’re not about to hide that sentiment. 

The look on your face could only be described as infuriated, a shocking difference from the cheerful countenance Naofumi saw you with. 

Naturally, he had to turn around and see the root of your commotion… quickly regretting his actions when his gaze fell right on his younger brother. 

All he can do at that point is quickly swirl his head back to you, hoping that Naoya would ignore his actions and pretend he wasn't there.

That, or that the earth would swallow him before Naoya was provoked to do something awful…

Or more like you wouldn't provoke him… just like he feared you would when proceeding.

“Do you mind? I’m with someone right now.”

Everything occurred a bit too fast for Naoya to react at the moment, but when he finally understood what transpired, his heart clenched in a way he could only describe as painful.

It's not the first time he’s experienced your rejection, but it somehow feels… colder now, like it was second nature to you.

Seems that one of the symptoms of this sickness was the boundless demonstration of emotions by weakening the patient to voice nothing but their inner thoughts.

If so… Naoya feels very, very hurt that this was your first reaction to him, compared to his feelings for you.

“I just wanted to—” he pauses, taking a deep breath to push down his emotions from showing in his voice. “I heard you were sick, so I brought you something to lighten your mood.”

And to mend my mistake .

Unfortunately for him, you were not in the mood to receive any sort of motivators —not when you already had the same in abundance, and most importantly, it wasn't even enough to be excused as a so called "apology", one that was intended for something that wasn't even his greatest misdeed anyways.

“No, thank you—I have enough of both.” you quickly respond, and suddenly, as if at the break of dawn, the sight of your overcrowded chamber reveals before his eyes.

Too focused on figuring out whose company you were enjoying and suffering from your subsequent indifference, your husband had failed to note the ocean of flowers surrounding your bed: from all kinds of colorful vases filled with bouquets of lilies, camellias, pansies and violets, you were not exaggerating when saying you had enough.

The vast amount of flowers emanated a sweet scent that quickly drowned his nostrils, dizzying him for a moment, before snapping out of it due to the fumble of his fingers, almost dropping the tray and jumping straight back to you.

You literally had a garden here, which only made your room far smaller than it already was, and his offering miniscule—not that it should’ve mattered, for his tribute wasn’t his in the first place, but still made him feel ridiculed.

A sentiment he has never liked to experience, cornering him to regain control of the situation by taking it out on the person he deemed the weakest of the three.

“What are you doing here?” He says at Naofumi, and he, knowing better than to just ignore him, slowly turns around, lips trembling as he prepares himself to speak up as clearly as he could.

“I just… wanted to give her something” he frets “I made her—soup, because I thought I’d make her feel bet—”

“ You don’t have to answer him! ” you shriek, briskly cutting through his words and unwittingly making him flinch, making you regret the way you stepped in, but it’s a thought that didn’t last long because you knew it was for the greater good. “And you don’t have to be in my room. Leave ”

It’s not a situation Naoya ever expected when coming here, not even remotely. Guess he should be grateful it isn’t like his nightmare where both his brother and you were ganging up on him… although your anger is more than sufficient for the two. 

“I just wanted to see how you were doing.” Naoya responds. "Can't I—"

“I’m doing fine" you interject “No thanks to you, but it’s not like I’ll die—not like this anyways.”

Naoya swallows, unable to avoid the pain your direct jab granted him. Believe him, he’s not happy about that decision either, but there’s only so much an heir can do against their leader , and your unwillingness to work together…

“Have you rested—”

“What is this, an interrogation?” you scoffed. “I’m not interested in talking to you. Leave.”

“I just want to know, Y/N—”

“I’m eating. Leave”

“ Y/N ”

“Just how long are you going to torture me?!” you cry, and the room goes silent immediately after,  tension in the air growing heavier.

Naofumi knew that your relationship with his brother was bad. Knew so thanks to Naohiko's incessant gossip, or whatever Naoaki confided in him.

He just never imagined it was to this extent, or that you would be the one berating him!

Poor Naofumi couldn’t do so—nope, he couldn’t even think about doing something of the like against the heir ; he was 100% sure that as soon as rumor sprouted he spoke ill of Naoya, hell would befall him.

Yet, here you are, chewing Naoya up as if he weren’t the future of the Zen’in! And the way you did it… it was almost natural! Did he misunderstand the dynamic of your relationship?

Not really, but he certainly underestimated what your anger could do, only ever being sweet and caring with him, one of the few to be with him, aside from fellow food-enthusiast, Haruko.

As much as Naoya deserved to be put in his place, Naofumi didn't like seeing nor being caught in the crossfires of it, so when he thought it appropriate, he spoke up.

"I—I should be going." he says, standing up from the floor. "I’m glad the soup was to your liking, Y/N, but now I gotta—"

"Don't tell me you're leaving because of Naoya" you say, and Naofumi, caught in his poorly spinned web of lies, could only stare at you like a deer in headlights—enough of a confirmation to make your anger boil ever further.

"No, I don't want you to leave." you retorted, much to Naofumi’s dismay. "If Naoya has an issue with you, then he can leave"

"I… It’s no bother” He insists. “I have other things to do anywa—"

"Yes!" Naoya interjects. “That’s wonderful , because I wish to speak to my wife alone”

"No!" You challenge. “He will not leave”

Naofumi whimpers.

"It was—it was only a quick visit, really” He nervously adds, wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible “Just to give you Naoaki's flowers and my—"

"Flowers?" Naoya breathed, as everything else that worried him faded into the background, Naofumi regretting he ever opened his mouth. "Naoaki brought you flowers??"

Does this mean that all of the flowers in your room… where his ? 

How— how did he even have the time to do that?! Wasn’t he away for work and what not?

He sent them via the staff, then, and if Naofumi’s presence was worth anything, it also meant that he tasked his relatives to keep an eye on you!

No wonder both the man from earlier and his brother were startled when confronted, because how were they going to admit to his face that the reason they were there was because his wife’s lover sent gifts?!

But most importantly, even when away, he still manages to keep tabs on you…? 

Naoaki’s commitment to you had to be commended, because no matter what he did, he always found himself right in the middle of this marriage. In both the most unsuspecting and obvious ways, he always has to snake his way between the two. As if he were your husband!

And this, far from infuriating Naoya…

Saddened him.

He might've as well lost you already.

"What? He can't wish me a quick recovery now?" Your words made him snap out of his thoughts, remembering why he was there in the first place, and regretting the way he led the conversation.

While your sickness appeared to be a lighter version of what struck him, you were still  afflicted by it, given the exhausted look in your eyes, the fluster in your cheeks, and the most notorious of all, your bedridden status.

And he had the great idea of letting his emotions get the best of him, irk you and possibly get you more agitated, when he should've allowed you to rest.

One step at a time, he tells himself.

"... of course he can" Naoya eventually murmurs, obviously not genuine… but he doesn't want to fight with you anymore. "I was just startled. I didn't expect all of them to be from him."

"Does it make that big of a difference if they are or not?" You ask. And well, for him, it does—because his gesture and your acceptance feels like a stab, after stab, after stab on his poor broken heart.

But there's nothing that can be done about that anymore, guess the positive thing out of this is that he worries for you too, or so he alleges.

"I didn't mean to start of like—"

"Of course not.” you scoff, rolling your eyes. “You never mean anything, because everything’s a game to you, isn't it?"

Naofumi's breath hitches to his throat. Even he, who has greatly remained out of loop with the two, knows your words were nothing but a low blow, one that will for certain push Naoya into snapping.

But Naoya, after receiving such a strike, and endless more days prior, can’t find it in himself but to admit that perhaps it’s best if he leaves the room before he does something he’ll regret.

"I just wanted to bring you this—take care." he murmurs, placing the tray down on the floor, making his way out of the room and to… somewhere. Anywhere, really, just about any place that will allow him to be by himself and his overwhelming emotions.

That’s not true— none of your words were true. He doesn’t think that everything is a game, obviously , and just because he didn’t keep up with one thing doesn’t mean he didn’t consider everything else!

He clearly remembers you talking fondly of your mother, even brought you those discs so you wouldn’t miss her too much—and what did you do? Who knows! Naoya hasn’t been able to find them anywhere, nor get an answer from you. So much for missing your family!

And what about him coming to see you as soon as he heard about your sickness? That has to amount to something! Wasn’t the intention what counted anyways?

And also the—the commodities he's given you—that… that well, he was expected to give you anyways but he could still—

…

…

…

There he goes again, rambling off about things that didn’t matter, blaming everyone but himself for the consequences of his own actions…

Was it really that hard to realize that of all situations, he’s the common denominator?

It seems so, but at least this time, he stops his mind from spiraling even further by remembering he’s supposed to be taking care of you, not… blaming you.

Still, it was hard to proceed from this point without trying to indulge in his fiery anger; he didn’t like being both offended and humiliated with things he considered untrue , and in front of someone else.

Worse when he didn't have his usual backing, Ranta that is.

If only he were here, he… he would know what to tell him, guide him through the tumultuous ocean that is this marriage and do the right things, just like he's always done.

Yet, he isn't. He's away working, like a sorcerer his age would be, and it was perhaps best to leave him focused…

Or not.

He’s never been in the position to seek comfort like this… but he guesses it wouldn’t hurt to try.

So after he gets to his room, the first thing he does is get his phone and dial him—after a few seconds, the young man responds.

“Naoya?” He asks, slightly startled, for it was highly unusual that he'd take initiative when calling, leading him to assume the worst. “What happened? Is everything alright?”

“Yes—Well, no.” Naoya admits, Ranta gasps.

“What is it?!” the other frets, alarms adequately triggered after hearing his words. “Did you get sick again? Are you hurt? Where are you—”

“I’m fine… no need to get that energetic.” He responds, feeling a bit… Well, flattered really, at least someone cared that he went through a rough patch. The only one.

“Then… what’s wrong?”

“...I just… wanted to talk”

Now Ranta knows for sure that something is wrong—his best friend rarely, if ever, approached him for that. Always rejected him when suggesting so.

“I’m all ears”

But he won't deny the support when needed.

Naoya takes a deep breath.

“I just learned that Y/N is sick, and it's more than likely because she spent that week with me"

“Oh, that’s… awful.” Ranta admits. “How long has she been like that?”

“For a few days, I think—I still can’t believe I was the last to know” Naoya frowns “You’d think I’d be the first one, right? I know that would’ve been the case if you were around”

“I would try." Ranta says. 

He was barely able to visit the estate when Naoya fell ill, with the poor kid becoming nothing but distraught once hearing how it occurred. 

That was not to be the star of the moment, however, that would be your willingness to be by his side throughout this moment. 

A shocking statement considering how distant you've been, nonetheless it helped ease his worries regarding his friend. The poor kid has been nothing but distraught upon hearing how it happened, frustrated that he couldn’t be there afterwards.

It gave him reassurance to see you there with him—hope for the future of the relationship.

Which didn’t happen, according to Naoya’s words.

“And you? How are you—”

“...I tried visiting her. Wanted to return the favor, you know? I knew she couldn’t be anything but bored while quarantining in her room… but to my surprise, she was well accompanied by Naofumi”

“Naofumi…?”

“And the flowers Naoaki brought her”

“Naoaki??” Ranta repeats, fearing that with the mention of his older brother he’d spiral into an antagonistic charade…

Only to be proven wrong.

“She wasn’t happy to see me, of course. Not even with the thing I was intending to give her… which I actually confiscated from a servant, can you believe he was going to her room?? I should’ve been far more stricter with who can approach her or not!

…

…

But that doesn’t matter right now, I have to worry about Y/N… and getting her back to health”

Ranta briefly freezes. Is this really the same Naoya he knew?

“Makes sense why I didn’t see her as frequently anymore, thought she was ignoring me… although is not that different from a regular day” he chuckles, and the sentiment that he’s being pranked grows bigger in the back of Ranta’s head. “But it’s worse this time, and all because I did something so, so stupid!”

“What… Did you do?”

“Can you believe I told her she could see her family? Her family , of all things?”

“You didn’t” Ranta breathes, knowing well the gravity of such a promise—Naoya was so… persistent in keeping everything a secret, so why…? “When—”

“I did. And now, she hates me” It’s more likely that you already hated him beforehand, Ranta wishes to say, but keeps quiet.

“... Why?” his friend eventually asks, curiosity getting the best of him. “Why did you do it?”

“Because I wanted to see her happy” He admits quite easily, much to Ranta’s surprise. “On the second time I got fever, Y/N was called yet again to tend to me. I don’t… remember quite well how we got to that point, but she started talking about her family and how much she missed them. 

It hurt me to hear her so… desolate, so miserable —it was something I never wanted to see from her again, and so… I did it” 

Ranta almost peeled his phone away to check if this was truly Naoya’s number, because the man on the other line was not the same one he knew weeks ago. 

The one that was disappointed at the mere mention of your transgressions, painting you in a controversial light as he considered you to be actively working against him, alongside his brother whom Naoya believed had an extramarital relationship with you—dreaming for the day he’d put the two back in place…

But now, that was nothing but an echo of the past, now replaced by someone who showed regret for his actions, worried for your feelings, regardless of others intervention, while actively seeking a way to mend them.

Something most definitely happened these past few days, beginning with the root of his sickness, ending with the week he spent with you. But will Ranta ever know?

“I had to lie to her when confronted about it, told her I didn’t remember making such a promise so we could move past it, I even offered to eat her favorite food to cheer her up, but… it didn’t work”

Silence.

“I don’t know what to do” Naoya continues “No matter what I say or do, she doesn’t want anything to do with me, but I can’t leave her like that, you know? I don’t want to”

And for a moment, it almost sounds like he’s… pleading .

He’s seen Naoya in desperate moments before, but always with a bit of resistance, if not complete rejection for a change.

This time, however, he wants to improve. He wants to make a change .

Ranta now knows he needs to push him into the right direction. This might be the moment his marriage finally changes.

“Then don’t. Keep visiting her… you know what they say of a persistent man…”

“Even if she doesn’t want to see me?”

“Well, she’s still sick, isn’t she?” Naoya agrees with a hum. “You can still be around, check in on her from time to time. I’m sure she’ll come to appreciate the effort at least.”

Not really, because on his first attempt to approach you later that day, after Naoya managed to gather his thoughts a bit better, he would be reminded that your animosity was still pretty much alive—expanding to your staff.

The person accompanying you this time was the famed seamstress, Hitomi, and her piercing cold gaze.

He wasn’t usually intimidated by her, if only irritated by the snobby aura she always seems to carry, but now he can’t shake the feeling that his actions were being heavily scrutinized, to the point where even the slightest movement will land him a scolding—what an unexpected turn of events.

Either way, this doesn’t sway him from having an amicable conversation with this wife as he continues to approach the two.

Unfortunately, that will only end up as a desire, because as soon as he reached both and opened his mouth, you intervened.

“Hitomi, can you accompany me to the restroom?” you’d say, pushing yourself up from the bed, the seamstress following suit. “I’m feeling quite dizzy, I think I might—”

“Let me help you.” Naoya says, attempting to take hold of your arm and take you there himself, but Hitomi beats him to it.

“That won’t be necessary” she interjects, guiding you towards the door. “Besides, it’s getting late and she needs rest”

“It won’t take long, I just want to know if she’s—” 

“Goodbye” Hitomi doesn’t let him talk, of course, brushing past his side and pulling you along, disappearing into the halls.

Naoya is left alone in your room with the idea that you’re going to find a way to delay your return as much as possible, so he opts to try again another time.

Wanting to make the best of his short stay at the estate, Naoya ends up coming later in what would be his second attempt, after presuming you were finally done (it had been 3 hours at that point, so he hoped you were), whilst bringing along some medicine he ordered his staff to find to help with your alleged nausea.

After knocking twice on your door, Naoya anxiously awaits for a response, which doesn’t take long to arrive soon after, hands fidgeting around the medicine box as the door begins to slide open and reveal the one keeping you company this time.

Perhaps his biggest nemesis right after Naoaki: Mariya .

“May I help you?” she indifferently asks, eyes as dull as they can be. Her usual demeanor when it comes to him, so at least he’s not unsettled by it—it’s the same old hindrance of everyday.

“I brought something for my wife, for her nausea” he continued, gesturing to the box. “I thought it might help better than—”

“She’s better now, thank you” Mariya doesn’t even look down at the medicine as she attempts to close the door; Naoya doesn’t allow your staff to outwit him again so he stops her before she can even do much as move it an inch

“Take it, she might need it later” He insists, giving her the box.

“I can’t give her medicine that hasn’t been prescribed by her doctor” she responds “We both know that”

Diplomacy in its excellence. But even if she was right, it doesn't mean Naoya was going to follow through with it.

“It’s just this time, no one will know if we kept it a secret”

Mariya’s face twists out of disgust.

“Do not get confused, Naoya. I’m not like one of your servants. ” she hisses. “Good night”

And then, she slams the door on his face.

Naoya silently stares at the thin paper wall separating you from him for a few seconds before wishing you a good night under his breath and retreating to his room.

His third attempt would come the next morning, after having woken up far earlier, quickly gotten ready and rushed towards the kitchen.

As painful as last night was, it was also enlightening, coming to the realization that if he wants your undivided attention, he had to compete with your staff for it, in other words, he needed to get to you first.

The solution that came to mind for this unusual predicament was preparing you breakfast… Or getting a servant to do so, since he lacked the skill, ordering whoever crossed his path first into making you something both nutritious for a speedy recovery, but tasty to lighten up your mood. 

After obtaining such a meal, the servant places it on a tray and hands it over to Naoya, who insisted on taking it to you personally, before making his way to your room once more.

There, he knocks at your door a few times, eagerly waiting for your response as he ponders what kind of reaction you’ll have to his gesture—hopefully a positive one, since you’ll undoubtedly be hungry as soon as you wake up.

But as seconds pass and no one answers, Naoya grows a bit worried, knocking one last time before deciding it was best to make his way inside, soon finding out the reason for your lack of response.

As expected from the hour, you had failed to answer because you were nothing less than fast asleep, laying on your side as you calmly breathed into the warm covers: A sight that warmed Naoya’s heart, making him smile and realize it was better to just let you rest than wake you up to eat.

Thus, he carefully sets the tray beside you, wishing you a good rest before departing.

After a few hours Naoya concluded it was the right time to follow-up on your breakfast, hoping it had been as fulfilling as he intended, and who knows? Maybe even open the door for sharing dinner with him.

But he only underestimated the precautions of your staff once more, for the first person to see the tray of food was none other than Mariya, who quickly set off to inquire around the staff to find the one responsible, angered to find it had been Naoya all along. 

It wouldn’t take long for him to figure out what happened afterwards: finding the tray on top of the kitchen counter when seeking to prepare your lunch, labeled to be disposed of.

Naoya was running out of time, and fast.

He didn’t like the idea of it, but it was his reality, and he was growing desperate because of it.

He thought that by now he would’ve gotten some improvement, a reaction from your part that didn’t entail disdain, but it hasn’t, and it only made him realize how limited his options were.

Medicine, whether “approved” by his relatives or not, was completely rejected by you and your entourage as soon as it was suggested.

Food isn’t any better, this one is straight up thrown to the garbage… at least he can still use the first for a different occasion—is what he’d tell himself to not feel as bad for your reproach.

A conversation? Unimaginable. He’d have better luck moving mountains.

It takes him to square one, back to the one thing he intended to do at the very beginning of your sickness, something… a bit more personal.

Naoya acknowledges he doesn’t have much of your preferences around the house, nor the time to get them, however, he does have plenty of his tastes, which are quite popular on their own, so… why not share them? Maybe you’ll end up liking them too.

Thus, after a quick trip to his office, grabbing a few tomes from his favorite series and placing them on a box, he waits for you to eat breakfast before approaching you once again.

As always, you were to be accompanied by someone of your staff, this time however, it was the one he considered a lesser threat, and if it’s worth anything, the one he would’ve for you to become closest to, instead of Mariya.

Haruko.

A decision mostly made by your concurrent happiness, for you always seemed to laugh the hardest with her. It made him slightly jealous, of course, but at the end of the day he was elated that even with your sickness, you were still able to have a good time.

When all he can do for you, however, is disappoint you, evident by the way your smile drops when seeing him yet again standing by your door frame, his daily reminder that he does not have a spot in your world.

But maybe, slowly but surely, he can win you over with this .

“Y/N… Naoya-sama is—” Haruko would be the first to notice him, or more like the first to actually care, as you continued to ignore him by diligently working on Hitomi’s new lessons.

“I know” You’d respond to Haruko’s fretted murmur. The poor girl is still afraid of him, might be for the rest of her life, so she naturally leans towards you for protection, which you attempt to oblige. “Just ignore him, he’ll go away soon enough”

Naoya didn’t like being referred to as some kind of stray dog, but he's used to it now. At least now he knows Haruko won’t give much resistance.

“How are you doing today?” he asks first, taking a step closer—you continue to ignore him. “It seems you’re better now”

“I don’t think I can do this right, Haruko. I don’t like stitching, certainly not crocheting…”

Haruko attempts to play along, but just like Naofumi, she can't ignore the elephant in the room. 

“You could at least answer me.” Naoya says a bit disappointed. “I just want to know if there’s something you need—”

“I’m fine , thank you!” you respond with a deceivingly sweet tone, not lifting your eyes from your work. “Now, leave me alone . I'm busy”

“How long is this going to keep on going, Y/N?” He goes straight to the point, showing a bit of his growing frustration. “Is this still because of the conversation we had that day?”

“I can ask the same thing to you” you snap. “Don’t you have something to do, somewhere to be ?”

“I do, but I don’t think it’s right for me to leave when you’re sick”

“It’s not right… ha!” You scoff. “What would you know of what’s right or not… why do you even care anyways?”

Another low blow that has the unwilling third wheel fearing for their life, praying for either a divine power, or its equivalent in Mariya, to intervene…

Fortunately for all, Naoya has learned to somewhat traverse past these jabs and take them as what they were: words from a hurt, angry, but very sick person he cares a whole lot for. 

Because in his delusional mind, this was still caused by one particular thing, not a whole.

“Enough to be where it matters.” Naoya says. “If my wife needs me, I’ll be there. Besides, I'm your husband, I should be the one—”

“That’s the thing— I don’t . So you either leave me alone, or leave me alone. Take your pick” you roll your eyes. "And stop the whole husband and wife talk, you sound like an old man…"

Naoya sighs.

“At least give these a chance” he says, gesturing to the box and placing them on the floor near you.

Haruko’s curiosity eventually gets the best of her, making her lean forward in such a way to get a better peak at its contents, frowning out of confusion when doing so.

“ Manga? ” She asks, unwittingly making you sharply turn over to the box and see for yourself. But even then, you still couldn't believe it.

Your husband… brought you manga?

“I have more at my office, but these are from my favorite series” He explains. “Thought you’d like to read them for a bit of distraction, it certainly helps me, after all, reading manga is one of my favorite things"

You never really imagined a man like Naoya would ever dive into the world of manga, for you always considered him to be… well, so high up his horse, that he’d undoubtedly think something like that was a bit… childish . Think the stereotype was there for a reason—just like how many thought about video games.

Yet, here he is, proving you wrong, and not only that, but letting you know it’s his favorite pastime .

…

Maybe if he hadn’t been such an asshole, you would’ve found yourself enthralled by it, curious to know more of this unexplored world with an accomplished guide…

But you don’t want to—because just like in many things, he's also undeserving of that .

“I’m not interested.” you say, going back to your previous activity as your mind searches for the best way to efficiently push him away from you… landing on a word that hurts Naoya’s inner child. “They’re kind of weird anyways, I don’t get them.”

He swallows. 

Wouldn’t be the first time someone used to describe his affinity with that word, but it still irks him, it's an extension of him in a way, a part of his life… so how would he not feel hurt when you've just insulted it?

“They’re not weird.”

“Well, they are to me, so no thank you. You can take them back”

Of all of your jabs, this was the one that hit too close, having him leave your midsts without much insistence, picking up the box soon after after and dropping off at the office, careless to return them to their spot on the shelf for he couldn't even stand their sight— feeling nothing but humiliated by them now.

Haruko would tell you that perhaps you were a bit too blunt with your words, having felt the hit herself as well, and you somewhat agreed, but you kept moving forward, justifying that what you did wasn’t as painful as compared to his actions.

And that wasn't even your worst reaction yet.

He’d spend a lot of time thinking on what to do to convince you otherwise of your set disposition towards him, looking through his options over and over again to see which ones still fit in his time frame, and which ones to discard.

After much pondering, Naoya ultimately believes that instead of trying setting new, he should instead, try something that's already worked. Something simple, yet effective:

Flowers.

There must be a reason why Naoaki filled your room with them above anything else, and he plans to exploit that.

But of course, in true Naoya nature, just because he was going to do the same as the rest didn't mean he had to blend in.

He still wanted to let you know how much you meant to him, how you've never left his mind, even when you actively tried pushing him away—thus, he ordered one of his servants to fetch the biggest bouquet of red roses he could find and bring it to him as quickly as possible.

Naoya hoped this last chance would be the one to work, the one to crumble your walls and let him into your life…

And it seems that fate decided to support him, finally playing in his favor when he's able to intercept you alone for the first time.

It was one of the brief moments you were allowed to go out of your room, enjoy a bit of fresh air, and stretch your legs.

Naoya, ever the one to seize the opportunity when it presents itself, does not hesitate to approach you, in the most perfect timing for he had just gotten his gift a few moments ago, the poor errand man exhausted from having ran to the nearby village and back in record time.

It made him both giddy and nervous just thinking about the kind of reaction you’d have to his gesture, since this is something he has never done in the past and now you won't be able to ignore him so easily either.

With unparalleled enthusiasm and bouquet in hand, as he quickly makes his way towards your direction, approaching you from behind as he calls out your name.

“Y/N” he says, and as soon as you hear him, you stop walking. “Good morning”

You don’t respond, staying still in place.

“I got you something, again." He murmurs the last part, taking a step closer to you. "I know you have many already, but I noticed you didn't have these so I thought I'd get them for you"

You remained motionless for a few seconds more, as if debating what to do from that point forward before choosing to slowly turn around, eyes trailing from the floor, up his figure, and then… to the vast collection of red roses in his hands

A sight that inevitably makes you widen your eyes and remain speechless.

When noticing your expression to be one of surprise and not contempt, Naoya presses further.

"Here" he says, taking one more step closer to you and attempting to hand you the flowers. "They're still… fresh, I guess. All you need is somewhere to put them"

You don't take them, still unable to process what the hell is happening. Naoya notes your hesitation and it makes him lose a bit of conviction, feeling as if he failed again.

"Just… take them, Y/N. Please" he insists "why won't you accept them? Why won't you accept any of my gifts? Are they not of your liki—"

"Are you being serious right now?" You eventually speak. 

"What?" He blinks, confused "Why would… I not be? That's all I've been trying to prove, that I'm serious about you!"

"Is this a joke to you, Naoya?" You repeat "Do you really think that just because you have me some flowers, everything will be alright?"

"I… of course not, I didn't intend to clear everything up but… I was hoping we could start somewhere" he explains.

"Start somewhere… What makes you think I even want to be near you?" You frown "I can't believe you're even real—this must be a prank!"

"... it's not" 

"Then you must think I'm stupid"

"I don't, I would never think that!" he says "Why are you even saying this?"

"Wow!" You laugh "You really think I am stupid! Well, that was fast, didn't even take a second to contradict yourself!"

He never liked the mocking tone in your voice when you got like this. It made him feel small, angry, and most importantly, lonely .

But you don't seem to stop.

"Is this still about your family?" He asks, irritated. "how long are you going to keep on with that?"

"Of course you think that's the only thing" you scoff. "Because you'd never done anything wrong in your life! How could the great heir of the Zen'in dare?!"

"You don't have to talk to me like that, Y/N." Naoya frowns "if there's something else you're bothered about, you can just tell—"

"Shut up!" You cry "Shut up! Just— shut up!"

Naoya flinches, taken aback by your reaction.

"Why must you always say things you don't mean? Why do you have to keep torturing me like this??"

"Y/N— that's not… I would never—"

"There you go again! Spewing shit out of your mouth!'

"Then what do you want me to say?! What can I do to have a normal relationship with you?!"

"Leave me alone?! That would be nice!" You say "Oh, I know! How about you let me go? Ah, right. Can't do that either! Might as well accept the fact I'll never see my family again!"

"Why do you insist so much on that anyways? Don't you know it's customary for you to stay here either way??"

"Well, in case you hadn't fucking noticed, Naoya, I don't do well with tradition!"

"... don't talk like that" he murmurs.

"Ah, right, I apologize for my foul vocabulary, Naoya-sama. I should've never opened my mouth, just my legs and let you do whatever you wanted! Oh, yeah, I almost forgot about that, I'm useless there too! But thankfully that will be dealt with quickly, hm? It's only a matter of time before I'm gone and you'll be free to fuck whoever you want!"

“Don’t say things like that” Naoya frowns “I would never find someone else to do that, and you know if it were for me, you wouldn’t—”

“No, Naoya. I really don't—because if there’s one thing I learned about your family, it's that while everything’s a game to you, your father is very much serious in whatever he does!”

“I didn’t want him to intervene, ok?! You’re acting like I’m so happy he decided you were better off dead if you didn’t get pregnant!”

“Well, I didn’t see you doing anything about it either! Or anything at all that wasn’t tormenting me!”

He's had enough.

He's had enough of your baseless arguments and your incessant tirades. Of trying to approach you in amicable matters, only to be ridiculed every second of the day.

He tried, he really did, to be a good husband.

But if this is the only way you'd react, then he'll oblige too.

“How would you? You were too busy with my brother to even care about anything else! And to believe I was the one being accused of cheating!” he laughs, and this irks you more than you would've liked. "I at least had the decency to respect this marriage!"

“Naoaki treats me the way you could never” you declare, knowing well there's no point back after this. "He's more of a husband than you ever were" 

And it works, because something inside Naoya snaps.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me” you continue. “There are even times where I wished he was the one I married instead, thinking how wonderful my life would’ve been if I had met him first!”

“What? M y brother?! That wolf in sheep’s clothing? The one you think so highly of, let him charm you with gifts and words, when in reality it’s just an act?! Because I know you’re not talking about him!” he mocks.

“I am! I am talking about him! I’m talking about Naoaki!” you yell. “No one else but him!”

“Why do you always have to bring him in?! He’s no one , he’s nothing!” Naoya responds. “We weren’t even talking about him!”

“Well, he’s everything to me!” you cry “I wish he was the one I got to call husband, instead of you! I wish he was the one who took care of me, held me, cherished me, treated me like I was the most important person in the world for him—instead—instead of the monster I got as a husband!”

With that, Naoya goes silent, permitting your hurtful words to settle deep into his already broken heart, shattering whatever was left and leaving behind a completely empty vessel, realizing he’s now lost everything. His motivation, his future… you . And there was nothing he could do about it.

Noting his hesitation, you take this as the best moment to make your leave, get away from him before anything else happens—but he’d prove you to have one last card under his sleeve by swiftly grabbing your arm as soon as you take a step away, and root you there.

“Leave—Leave me alone !” you’d squirm against his hold, try your best to free yourself from it, but he just holds you tighter. “Stop it!”

“Take back what you said” he begins to murmur. “Say that you didn't mean any of those words, that you don't—you don’t mean to be with Naoaki—”

“Sto—Stop it!” you whimper at the stinging sensation of his hand imprinting his fingers against your skin, all too careless to his rambles. “Let me go! You’re— you’re hurting me !”

“Not like you’ve hurt me!” he instinctively snaps. Naoya doesn't know when it began, only that his cheeks were soaked and his eyes warm at this point. “Why—why would you say that? Do I— Do I really make you that— that miserable? Do you really hate me?!”

"All you've ever done is hurt me!" You exclaim back "all you could ever do is hurt me!"

"J would never do that to—"

"THEN WHAT ABOUT ALL THE TIMES YOU’VE TAKEN ME AGAINST MY WILL? THE WAY YOU IGNORED MY PLEADS TO STOP, THE WAY YOU RIDICULED ME BEFORE EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT CROSSED YOUR PATH, REFERRED TO ME AS LESS THAN A PIECE OF MEAT AND THEN ALLOWED OTHERS TO DO THE SAME?! WHAT ABOUT THE TIME YOU PUNISHED ME JUST BECAUSE YOUR FATHER GOT ANGRY AT YOU ! YOU!!! BUT MADE ME EQUALLY RESPONSIBLE?! 

WHAT ABOUT THE TIME YOU FORCED ME TO SPEAK ILL OF MY SISTER, FORCED ME TO PUT ON THE ACT THAT I WAS HAPPY HERE, PUSH HER AWAY, ONLY TO CUT ME OFF FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD ONLY BECAUSE I DIDN’T PROVE MY WORTH BEFORE YOUR RELATIVES?! AS IF BEING SENTENCED TO DEATH WASN’T ENOUGH!! WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE TIME YOU’VE HURT ME?! HUMILIATED ME, MADE ME THINK LESS OF MYSELF?! DO THEY STILL COMPARE TO WHAT I’VE DONE TO YOU? TO WHATEVER I COULD’VE DONE TO PROTECT MYSELF?! DO YOU STILL THINK THEY COMPARE TO ME NOT WANTING TO— ” you grab the bouquet from his hands “ACCEPT YOUR STUPID FLOWERS?!”

And then… throw them onto the floor. 

The soft thud of the flowers hitting the wooden floor and the petals that fell off immediately after were a sight that would testify as the official rupture of this marriage—one that will remain imprinted in the back of Naoya’s mind for the rest of his life, perhaps, cementing there was nothing else to be done.

But even then, that would not compare to what he’d see once looking at your face, past the fog of his tears and the adrenaline of his pain.

It wasn’t hatred that he saw, what he believed to have heard in your words. No, not at all.

It was fear —inflicted by none other than himself, the person who swore to protect you—and it hurt more than any anger could do.

A sight that manages to snap him out of trance and realize the gravity of his actions, especially after noting a crowd gathering around the two once more.

Yet, his mind remains with the painful confession you’ve just made.

“Y/N” he whispers, slowly releasing you “Y/N, I—I didn’t—”

“Get the fuck away from me” you breathe, tears falling down your cheeks as you step away from him. “I don’t care what you have to say, get the fuck away from me— now ”

You didn't give him any chance to respond, having turned around, ran past the staff and headed deeper into the estate, perhaps to the company of your staff or your room, it didn’t matter where, because he was for sure now, that after this day, he’s lost you forever.

It was the dawn of his last day at the estate.

Naoya, too focused on trying to mend his relationship with you, had completely forgotten that he was bound to travel to Nagoya in a few hours if he were to attend the mandatory debrief, and even though it was a quick trip there, he still needed to do preparations for it.

Thankfully, his staff had foreseen his setback and prepared him a suitcase with the required items for an easy trip and equally successful missions, which made your husband realize that out of his two objectives, he’d only managed to complete one.

And further ruin the other.

The great day had come, and Naoya couldn’t help but feel completely uninterested, detached from this situation—but he had no other choice, nowhere to turn, but to accept this task and move forward.

But as much as he wanted to put everything else behind, he still felt the responsibility of one last thing—ironically, the one thing he’ll end up doing right.

So after checking that everything was set for his upcoming trip, and there were no other subjects to tend back in the estate, Naoya heads to your bedroom one last time.

It was safe to say that he was not welcomed, neither by your staff, nor by you, but it didn’t matter to him anymore, not after the big realization he came to moments prior.

"What are you doing here?” you caution, heart thundering as you wonder if he’s composed back to his usual self and was now intending to take it out on either you, or your staff…. Completely oblivious to the defeated look on Naoya's face.

A man who’s surrendered completely to his own fate.

"To tell you I'm leaving." he says, and you are very, very subtly, taken aback by this statement. "I'm leaving the house for a few days, for Halloween"

You swallow.

"Why are you—"

"Thought you should know, so you could be at ease knowing I'm not going to be around these next few days.” he adds. “I’ll let my staff inform you when I’m gone, and when I’m back. Take care”

Your face now reflects the shock his words give you, for it is a blatant difference to the last time he announced his departure.

Back then, it was through the intentions of cutting loose ends, dealing with things he thought unnecessary so he could calmingly come back home and enjoy the vicious “domestic” life he’d envisioned with you.

But now, it's for your peace of mind. For your sake, your tranquility, and no one else's.

Yet, as much as you wanted to know what caused this change of behavior from him, thinking it wasn’t of your doing, it would be the first time Naoya would take a page of your book, preventing you from interrogating him further.

Because before you were able to do as much as put in a word, Naoya turned around, exited the room and left the estate.

[maguro13-2]

Darkness Reborn ~ Origins of the Ink Demon Final Chapter Pt.8 (2/3)

Mamimi : Huh. Finally back in Japan. I can't get enough of this place since that incident in the 2000s of Atomsk's appearance in 11 years ago, but I'm sure Gainax is pretty fine of how thing's are going with the studio being the lucky son of a gun before they moved to Studio Trigger is something what they've foreshadow.

[Mamimi's ringtone playing]

Mamimi : Hey, that's my ringtone! And I believe it's my phone. [answers phone] Hello, Mamimi Samejima of Mamimi Daily of Atlanta, How can I help to be in service?

Nono (via) : Mamimi Samejima are you there?

Mamimi : Hold the phone, Nono? Is that you?

Nono (via) : Of course it's me, Nono. Look there's trouble at Studio Gainax and we believed that a girl that looks alike the protagonist of that Japanese Shounen Manga is actually a demon that comprosied the studio!

[Unknown Alarm - Fumie Kumatani]

Mamimi : (realizing) What!? When!? Right now!?

Nono : [talking on the phone] Yes, right now! I don't know what's going on, but I'm definitely getting a little nervous of being feared to a demon that makes wanna wet our selves, but I don't like the looks of it. And this is really bad, this is the part where I am hiding in a closet. So, please, whatever you do, get to the studio as fast as you--*BUZZING*

Mamimi : Huh? Nono? Nono are you there? Hello? Nono?

Inky Albarn (via phone) : Sorry for the little disconnect, but Nono of Diebuster is no longer in service.

Mamimi : Hey,I know who you are. You're that demon that started the attacks in Japan back in 2003, you're Inky Albarn, Demon Queen of Bendy isn't it?

Inky Albarn (via phone) : Correct.

Mamimi : What have you done to the characters that worked at Studio Gainax?

Inky Albarn (via phone) : Maybe I was a bit thirsty all of a sudden, that's why that I decided to drink their colors, It could be something that is red with their blood. Hope it doesn't mind tasting them deliciously.

Haruko (via phone) : Hey, get your crummy hands off me!

Maimimi : Haruko? Is that Haruko?

Inky Albarn (via phone) : Now then, what should I do with you, first?

Haruko : I said get your crummy hands off me! I am not food!

Inky Albarn (via) : Don't worry, this won't hurt a bit, once I'm done drinking colos and give it all to me!

Haruko : Who says that you can drink the colors out of me? What are you Mr.Mime from PPG?

Inky Albarn (via) : Not even a cartoon villain would even do that to drain your colors, only I would do that for you. (singing-tone voice) What is like to make the Rainbow cry, sucking you up to make you dry!

Mamimi : Inky, don't do it! Don't do it, Inky!

Haruko : No please! Don't! I have a guitar and I'm not afraid to use it!

Inky Albarn : Too late!

Mamimi : INKY ALBARN, GOD DAMN IT!

Haruko : HEEEEELP!!! [phone disconnected]

Mamimi : Haruko? Naota? Guys? Oh man! I better hurry! (grabs bike and rides on quickly] Oh man! My old studio's in danger! I gotta find out what's happening out there! Something tells me that there is something wrong going on in the picture! It's no surprise that anyone's a goner is going to be and those guys are next!

[We then show a blue-hair woman in a golden one-piece swimsuit walking down the street what it appears to be Maron (Krillin's EX)]

Maron : It's not fair that Toriyama had made me keep my Golden Swimsuit on since my new boyfriend dump after I found out that his wife was thinking that she caught us cheating on her. And that is decided to leave Krillin behind and move back to my place in Oceania.

Mamimi : You! Blue-hair thot in a Golden Swimsuit that is Krillin's EX and Filler Character! Do you know a studio that originated the Gainaxing? A studio that we used work for after it's power system was cut off!

Maron : You mean your old studio, Gainax? Yeah, I heard the whole thing that demon arrived to the studio by infiltrating and began to attack the studio! I heard all over the news! They were announcing of a ceremony of being the background characters in Gainax's new show, Panty and Stocking. But then the demon cut off the power and infiltrated to attack, just to steal their true colors, rainbow colors!

Mamimi : Whatever it is, it's not looking good! Are you sure they were okay!

Maron : Could be? Probably defending their studio from ever attacked! It was happening for real, it's all because of that stupid Manga! It was like the company Square-Enix has officially becoming a nutcase over that 2008 show on TV Tokyo that ended with a horrible ending a year ago!

Mamimi : So you knew about it!? Then I have no choice but to get their on time! I'm hope! This is why I decided that I am with the truth! And I know how to make good secrets to uncover it!

Maron : Unsecond thought, could you lend me a ride so we can get there?

Mamimi : (sighs) Come on, hop on. This one got two seats

Maron : Sweet! So is this a Tandem.

Mamimi : Precisely.

[Revelation - Fumie Kumatani]

Mamimi : Let's go! Off to studio Gainax! Here's the address to the studio!

Maron : Good! The studio should be right at our destination!

"Hours of bicycling later..."

Mamimi : Alright! We finally made it to Studio Gainax, safe and sound and I hope that the cops would arrive here...[the cops are shown at the exterior of Gainax Headquarters that is now covered with ink] too soon!

[Misty - Fumie Kumatani]

*Police Sirens Wailing*

Maron : Oh my God! The studio! Everyone is still all right?

Natsumi : Hey, hands off! This area is off limits! No one has permission to enter the crime scene!

Nono : Mamimi-san! Thank goodness you have arrived!

Mamimi : Nono! What happened!? Did something went wrong at the studio?

Nono : About Studio Gainax, Yeah I guess that's about it. But you should've seen the look on your face, I've managed to survive and escaped, but apparently i've got some minor negotiations, this how it happened when that demon attacked me and did this to my body!

[It its reveal that half of Nono's body is black and white]

Mamimi : Nono...What happened to your colors?

Nono : Haven't you figured it out yet? I just found out that this demon of inky darkness has the ability to drain a fictional characters colors! It's Inky Albarn, the demon of darkness! She's one of them masterminds that is responsible for the attacks in 2003, she did framed the real Maka Albarn for a crime she did not commit! I can't believe that she go and do something like this! And now...Look what she did to my friends! [the main characters of Diebuster2 are shown with bite marks after they turned monochrome]

Mamimi : Bite marks, where these caused by a vampire that suck their blood out?

Nono : No, demons. If Vampires or demons did that to fictional characters that drain's something red with their blood, I'm beginning something that Inky Albarn was the first being from the 1930s to drain all the world's colors.

Mamimi : Nono! You're a genius! So my suggestion that the Protagonist of Soul Eater is actually a demon from the 1930s, the same decade that toons coexisted with history before Real World AU was birthed.

Maron : And don't forget about Adolf Hitler.

Mamimi : We're not talking about the Nazis. We're talking about serious facts about saving the planet from danger!

Maron : Oh, my mistake. That wouldn't be all too necessary! Come on, let's go meet with the Gainax Friends of yours and--

Para Sorceress : Don't move! Stand clear and stay where you are! State your name and Identify yourselves!

Maron : It's Maron, Maron Filler!

Mamimi : Mamimi Samejima of Mamimi Daily Station in Atlanta, Georgia, USA.

Para Sorceress : You're a newsletter person are ya? Are you with Gadd Science Industries or something else!?

Mamimi : I'm with my Newsletter station!

Drawcia : That's good. Secure the packages, get them to the labs immediately.

Para Sorceress : Yes, Ma'am.

Mamimi : Yes, ma'm? Wait, who's that?

Drawcia : You must be that paper girl immigrant from the United States, Mamimi Samejima was it?

Mamimi : Yeah, and how did you know?

Drawcia : You are deliver of truth and you gift deliver of the many stories that uncovers the secrets to Soul Eater's whereabouts. Perhaps you should that I was the one who modeled Death the Kid along with Shinra's Man-made son. In fact: Death the Kid is the last of the Kusakabe Bloodline.

Maron : Blood line? Hey, now I know who you are...You're....

"HEAD OF DRAWCIA FAMILY CORP. : DRAWCIIA THE SORCERESS."

Mamimi : You're that witch who brought the world back to it's colors, Drawcia the Sorceress. What brings you here to society in the country?

Drawcia : Hmph?

*DBZ SFX : PUNCH*

Mamimi : Oof! [gags] What...was that for!? *THUD!*

Drawcia : If you really seriously got involved of being the only ones in danger, nobody would save your ass. But if you want to see your friends getting colors, come with to my place science operation. Follow me if you want any more information.

~ Eighty-Fifth Scene : The Real Deal Pt.2 ~

[tsukuharuko]

At Inosuke's shout, Haruko's feet moved instantly; she dashed towards the pink shard and grabbed it, right as the youkai turned at her with a growl of pain.

She took in a deep breath and started running, as fast as she could. The backpack slammed against her shoulders at each step, her side soon started hurting for the effort, but she didn't stop. She didn't even know where she was running until she realised the ground getting steeper, and that's when she knew where her instincts were leading her: towards the well.

According to her memories from an old trip there, it wasn't close next to the temple, rather in a clearing on the side, surrounded by some trees. Yet, the possibility of people being there was dangerously real; as she met an old couple walking in her same direction, the two elderly casted her a worried look, probably reading the panic in her eyes.

"They're evacuating the temple!" She exclaimed, the first lie that came to her mind. "There is a fire! I'm hurrying back there to warn my friend!"

It seemed to work; the old couple gave a start, halted on the stop, and quickly turned around and hurried down the path, back towards the village at the bottom of the hill.

Haruko, instead, could almost see the well, a round construction made in stone, surrounded by pillars in wood. But no trace of Inosuke yet.

Damn it. Where are you, boar-head?!

It didn't make any sense. This monster shouldn't be that strong. He was no daiyoukai! Inosuke was certain of it!

Inosuke was running out of stamina at an alarming rate. Forced to pour all his efforts into dodging, when he should be attacking instead. He despised that strategy above all else, but the human's presence changed everything.

If he went down, the youkai would go after her next. Inosuke couldn't let that happen.

He felt motion before the monster, and almost thought that a second one had sprung out of the bushes. When the youkai turned around, saliva dripping from his gigantic fangs, Inosuke heard his companion's calls.

Green eyes locked on the monster's back. There it was, shining in a faint but visible glow in the midst of the youkai's grey skin.

He had only this one chance.

The youkai was already running towards Haruko, claws raised above his head, a guttural screech resonating from his throat. There was another yell as Inosuke leapt at his back, claws buried in the youkai's shoulders to keep himself steady, before he sunk his fangs into the youkai's back.

He spat out the freshly ripped out fragment, while the monster reeled and swiped with his massive hands. Inosuke was sent flying into the trees once more, but the fragment had slid far enough across the grass for Haruko to reach it first.

"GO, MARIKO!!!" The boar's choked voice burst through the trees. "RUN TO THE WELL!! I'LL CATCH UP!!"

[crqelsummer]

oh yeah! the yamanashi incident where haruko lost two fingers--

-- super short story even shorter that i'll probably elaborate on soon, oha's pros (1-a and their generation) are mostly dealing with quirk enhancing drugs still, as gou is currently distributing them to 'even the playing field'. the intention is to make it obvious the lengths some people have to go through to even be able to make a name for themselves/get by, so the intention is to disrupt the hell of out of society and protest for change. he's just also going to a stupid amount of lengths because the drug is very very addictive and arguably, easy to get ones hands on.

the incident takes place because ken, a previous big three student, had been using them for quite a while to make his own quirk significantly stronger and get him by for his last year of school. haruko, having done an internship with him, was told about them and given one pill. haruko obviously had a moral dilemma about this, because even though he so desperately wants to be strong like everyone else, he has lingering feelings about whether or not he should take it.

ken disappears from school shortly after this and haruko never hears about him again. he isn't sure why.

the incident itself though takes place while haruko is working under shoto and izuku (and therefore also rin because aiko had put her name out towards deku) and when they'd been caught by some other nomus/enhanced quirk users, they'd basically almost overpowered shoto and were close to doing so to izuku. haruko was still carrying his own enhancer...so...

he obviously takes it. and its such a rush he's able to push his own acid further than he ever thought possible. he's powerful, and crazy strong. theyre able to get the fight back under control with haruko's help, but afterwards the enhancer is still driving his nervous system further and further until he's still leaking acid from his fingers and its burning them off.

he watches his own ring and pinky finger dissolve before his eyes and is so out of it shoto has to cool him pretty rapidly to get his heart rate down before he has a heart attack. he promptly passes out.

the thought here is that enhancers work better in people with decent control over their quirks, but also people with properly developed nervous systems that can handle the stress the enhancer puts on it. haruko is 15-16 at this point, and what ken gave him was almost double what he really shouldve taken the first time around. him already being stressed did not help, and so his quirk started actually doing damage to him. annnnnd ofc haru is not invincible to his own quirk...

im not sure -- eri wasnt around or something, but haru still loses his fingers its a really painful reminder of the fact that he's been too cocky in the past and needs to start relying on others -- the lone wolf thing doesnt work for him, even if he hates the fact he ever got hurt in the first place.

[witchcraftandburialdirt]

Tarhos, Vittorio, Durkos for Haru-

𝐎𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝟏: 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 ── Tarhos Kovács

Haruko absolutely, positively thinks that kissing Tarhos is one of the best feelings in the world; he has a lot of issues in regards to nonsexual intimacy and having kisses with his husband is a really easy/comfortable way to explore those things. Sex comes easy to Haru, but actually letting someone in and be close to his heart enough to kiss and caress him? Thats only for one person, his beloved Knight who he knows would never betray his heart or harm him. After his kidnapping and enslavement, I do think that Tarhos is possibly the first person Haruko has genuinely cared about and wanted to be closer to. He'd never want anyone else to know him so thoroughly.

𝐎𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝟐: 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐏 ── Durkos Malecek

In terms of physicality and physical intimacy, Haru does trust the Faithful Three the same amount as he does Tarhos (albeit he isn't in love with any of them). He's fully aware that none of them would hurt him and over time he does explore a more...flavorful menu with them in terms of their relationships. Not only that but it's something he's used to, he's definitely seen Durkos naked dozens of times despite him probably trying to avoid it because "a maiden is watching" - it just comes with living in close quarters.

𝐎𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝟑: 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 ── Vittorio Toscano

Man Vittorio would be such an easy target for teasing, naive, far too kind, and always looking for some bright end at the end of the tunnel. He's one of the few nobles I can see actively replying to Haru's prodding and treating him like a person, he's just very kind and doesn't operate how the standard noble was at the time; and Haru would appreciate that. I also think that if they had met differently or at a different time, they could have actually been friends as they both share a curiosity for knowledge.