#fireworks hater

[obwald]

birthday post NUMBER 2

so sorry to ortensia, she cannot catch a break from the fireworks

[dykejugheadjones]

i hate fireworks so so much i hate them hate hate hate HATE fireworks

[jevilowo]

Went to France instead of making Soldier Ships. And then Forgor. Apologies.

Ranking Tf2 Ships Part 2: Soldier

Batting Helmet

See the first list lmao

It's hilarious, basically.

Sollycest

I think their combined power would destroy the planet. So.

Objectively funny also, however

Fireworks

Im like 90% sure thats the ship name but i havent touched my shipping website in months soooooo

Same genre as batting helmet, but objectively BETTER, because they actively meet each others' crackpot level. And there's minimal choking.

Seriously check out the tag on ao3 some absolutely BRILLIANT fics on there shout out to uhhh i think they're called Hanktalkin and they've written the best ones

Realistically would destroy everything around them. I'm beginning to think that would just happen with most Solly ships.

Boots n Bombs

SHOUT OUT TO BOOTS N BOMBS WEIRDLY UNDERATED DESPITE BEING THE FOURTH MOST POPULAR SHIP ON AO3. Crazy gap between bloody suit (1000+) and them (like around 450).

EMESIS BLUE. URGH. THEY KILL ME.

WAR! UPDATE. URGH. THEY CONTINUE TO KILL ME.

CUT VOICELINES. URGH. THEY SUCEEDED IN KILLING ME. I AM DEAD.

Lovely lovely dynamic, platonic or otherwise. At least Besties in every universe, team colours be damned.

And the YURI. ARGH I saw someone describe WAR! solly x demo as yuri coded bc of their "unbearably sapphic levels of miscommunication" which HAHA YEAH but I mostly mean the genderbendy art it's Exquisite.

Bonus points for when they're polying up they cule with Zhanna also. I had to explain the word polycule to a classmate the other day isn't that wild. Anyways the three of them match each others' freaks.

Cold War

When you're so determined for this idiot to not fuck your sister you fuck him instead lmao

Pretty fun in theory, in practice I think they'd both hate it.

Um shout out to that one fic i read once where soldier ruptured his throat giving heavy head that was. Something. I mean that in a nice if midly bemused way btw.

Helmet Party

Save me helmet party etc etc

The art on here for them is adorable genuinely the softest i see solly portrayed in fanworks is with engie

In canon Solly seems to respect Engie the most? E.g. Expiration date: stops choking out scout when asked to by Engie, takes Engie's "teleport bread if u want" comment as an ORDER, even the whole QUESTION whatsurquestionsoljer exchange felt very I ASK OF YOU, COMMANDING OFFICER!! What having another True American on the team does to a mf i guess. Scout isnt a True American he's french.

I mean i still like boots n bombs more lol but helmet party fans i see u and i love u especially when u make it yuri.

Fruit Scones

Look up the story behind the ship name guys its great

As a ship to me it's heavymedic but without everything that makes heavymedic the Ship Of All Time

Solly's pocket medic cosmetic is cute tho

Uhhh as long as soldier never made the germany connection i think it could work? Like he'd let medic do crazy shit to him and medic would giggle and kick his feet over it. Then again there's no way medic wasnt doing fucked up shit to n*zis during ww2 so ykw it would probably work out regardless yippeee

OH YEAH THE NICKNAMES whenever i play medic and hear a cmere sweetheart/pumpkin/sally/cupcake I lose all control of myself and suddenly become a pocket medic teehee.

American Aviators

Its a sniper ship and not sb so I automatically like it

Tragically not that compatible. Sniper would find soldier too loud and soldier would find sniper too unamerican in his shooting things from far away tactics.

They have potential to be good friends tho i think. I've always seen Sniper as a trolling god (see that one in character interview john patrick lowry did in uh 2014 i think) and Solly would eat that shit up.

Freedom Fries

Ehhh?

Art on here is cute. Don't get me wrong. Love that.

HOWEVER. in no universe would they actually Function as a couple. Sorry guys. 54727474 dead 277282848 injured.

I am also put off it because people flock to it (and, sigh, mediscout,) over boots n bombs in the emesis blue side of the fandom. I AM NOT SHIP SHAMING BY THE WAY, I GOT ACCUSED OF THAT ONCE AND HAVE YET TO EMOTIONALLY RECOVER, but i reallyyyy wish people would focus less on Most Toxicly Basic Yaoi Known To Man, and more on Tragic Doomed Yaoi Where Both Parties Actually Kind Of Like Eachother And Didn't Both Try To Kill Each Other (russian roulette and the grenade at the funeral). AGAIN I AM NOT SHIP SHAMING HERE PLS DON'T CONSUME ME SHIP WHAT YOU WANT GIRLYPOPS.

Sollypauling

I have a crack headcanon that he's her father so that's put me off seeing them romantically haha

I wrote a fic about The Fathering once at 12am and im still not sure whether i hate it or not so don't read it just to be safe <3

Magic Missiles

DIVORCED!!! *autism creature confetti gif*

Jay Pinkerton (comic writer) allegedly reblogged MM art once. And he refuses to let their dynamic go in the comics. I.e. "the heart wants what the heart wants, Merasmus". Truly their biggest fan.

I love them i really do. Only slightly less toxic than fucking adminpauling imo, and thats like britney spears dootdootdootdootdootdootdootdoot bweebwahbweebwahbwahh levels of toxic

Maggot Bears

Based based utterly based fucking detergent levels of based and thats like 13 or something on the pH scale (i.e. Extremely Based)

They do in fact destory everything around them, proving my earlier hypothesis lol.

Idiot 4 Idiot. Dumbass 4 Dumbass. They both get naked to pee. I love them. I want to be them.

Again, bonus points when Demo is involved. Uwaaa.

I love the lack of consistent ship name for them. East meets West? Maggot Bears? Boots n Brawn? Zhannasolly? There's one involving honey as well but i forgor it and I've been typing so much I've got pins and needles in my left hand so i give up. Peace.

[quarzy]

if youre setting off fireworks i dont like you btw

[honkifyourelonely]

also cuz i’m in the uk i didn’t have to hear fireworks on the fourth for the first time ! beautiful experience

[parkakeet]

people are going crazy w the fireworks while there is still actively, a fire burning on the mountain

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

hello everyone in utah setting off fireworks right now! I personally hate you and I think you are all horrible! I hope you get stuck at every left turn you're at for at least 10 minutes for the rest of your life. I hope every single bug you see when you're hiking bites you no matter how much bug spray you use. I hope you keep getting tiny pieces of dust from the red sand in your eye that you just can't get out. I hope you can only get gas that's at least $4.50 a gallon. I hope you get stuck in the middle lane when you're between provo and SLC and your exit is in half a mile and you cant get over in time. I hope you get 5 feet of snow in the middle of May. I hope you trip and get your shoes and socks soaking wet you cant go home and change for hours.

[mybelovedintrepidheroes]

every year without fail ppl will pull out their fireworks HOURS before it's actually new years and every year I hate fireworks more & more...

can we all just agree to do light shows instead? like only in cities and they should be seen from basically everywhere.

light shows are sooo much cooler bc you can do something different every year or have different stuff in rotation and that'd be sooo much cooler than fucking fireworks.

I hate how loud they are I hate that they scare animals of all calibers I hate the environmental impact of fireworks I hate how boring fire works get the more you see them I hate that ppl can't FUCKING WAIT UNTIL GODDAMN MIDNIGHT TO FUCKING LIGHT THE STUPID ASS FIREWORKS I HATE THAT PPL WITH PTSD FROM LOUD NOISES OF ALL SORTS JUST GET IGNORED.

can we like sign petitions for this sort of shit? like I'm genuinely tireeedddd.

[venomousray]

As a professional new years hater ™️ I think the homeless man loves it. Because the fireworks tell him what day it is in the year as he can’t keep track of time anymore.

[via-fm]

instead of banning transgender care & books & abortions, world leaders should ban fireworks

[technoturian]

Nothing says respecting the service and sacrifice of the troops like setting off explosives in residential areas!

Happy Memorial Day to everyone with PTSD.

[infernape]

i hate everything abt fireworks. LOUD. environmental damage. dangerous. loud again. not ugly per se but most of them look the same it’s like there’s only like 5 colors they can choose from. shows always last too long.

[viiridiangreen]

listen i know this particular not-ex-youtuber as of 1h ago is Problematique(TM) or cringe or w/e i didn't keep up with that Cancellation(TM) but like-

"Yoko Is An Ok Lady, Actually, And Her Instruction Paintings And The YES! Ladder Are Really Sweet And Moving", is one of the rant detonators that I always keep covered and locked away like some kind of nuclear button bc all my partner can say or tolerate being said about her is "scream-singing cringe" so i gotta get my vindication somewhere :-)

[sp1rit-realm]

who decided that we should celebrate our freedom and celebrate our war vets (most of which are traumatized from said wars) by shooting off loud explosives?

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

fireworks >:(

[scionshtola]

it’s not even july yet WHY are we doing fireworks