deviantplum

[deviantplum]

Reminders for Easter 4/20: Weadster

Aligning the Feast of the Resurrection with Weed Day is your god's way of saying, reality is so fucked you should just get high about it

Lucky Stoners may get a visit from the Weadster Bunny, who brings good tidings of weed and candy to good little stoners

Unlucky stoners may be kidnapped to the Weadster Bunny's pocket dimension. Just because. Their motives are very unclear

Weadster Eggs. I assume this requires no further explanation

I lied. I'm further explaining. Picture a weed plant, but the nugs are growing perfectly in the shape of eggs. Smoking them gives you super powers, I just assume. Seems likely.

[deviantplum]

Flirting? No, much too forward. I'm just going to slowly win you over by psychically broadcasting Nice Thoughts at you whenever I see you.

[deviantplum]

And tbh reality keeps interfering with my lounging and I don't even have a chiffon dress or a settee, elaborate or otherwise. So you can understand the kind of stress I'm under.

I need to spend at least 8 hours a day, lounging dramatically in a chiffon dress on an elaborately decorated settee. For my mental health.

[deviantplum]

I need to spend at least 8 hours a day, lounging dramatically in a chiffon dress on an elaborately decorated settee. For my mental health.

[deviantplum]

I just wanna say that being human is so great, and I would know because, I am doing so much of it, and it is so great, because I am human.

So when I offer you these eggs, please understand I am doing so as only a human offering eggs to another human ever could.

[deviantplum]

Are people really squeemish about your eggs on this, the most eggnant of social medias?

Not here usually. Every now and then on Facebook a poor, unwitting soul will wander onto my page, bidden by the uncaring whims of the algorithms, and they do get a little confused, perhaps squeamish, occasionally scandalized by the eggs, and you know, just my general vibe.

[deviantplum]

If you're willing to eat a cream egg, it's kind of offensive to be squeamish about my eggs.

I mean I'm not judging you for having bad taste. Just asking that you're not a hypocrite about it.

[deviantplum]

Yeah, I am happy to see you, and that's why I have all these eggs in my pocket.

[deviantplum]

Easter is just a conspiracy by Big Xenomorph to trick you into investigating any oddly colored eggs you find hidden outside.

[deviantplum]

Only one month left to gather enough carrots & lettuce so the Easter Bunny takes your offering instead of harvesting your soul for its Collection!!

[deviantplum]

Yeah, I'm an e-girl

Eldritch

Ghoulish

Incomprehensible

Really Not a Girl

Laying Eggs

[deviantplum]

"Turducken" is not just a recipe.

It's an occult ritual designed to broadcast to the Universe, that you fear no gods, because you are clearly the most powerful Creator.

[deviantplum]

Diamonds are a girl's best friend? Idk, maybe if she's a mad scientist, or perhaps an engineer with a grudge to settle. Either way, it definitely has more to do with occupation than gender.

But if she needs to drill through extremely dense materials, then diamonds are for sure her BFF.

[deviantplum]

Me: Remember, the Angel spake thusly: "Be Not Afraid." It never said "Be Not Horny" therefore monster fucking is canonically ordained by god.

The Priest: The absence of a condemnation does not equate to an approval!

Me: Ok, so you're at least willing to admit that it's not condemned by god. So it isn't sinful.

The Priest: I am not willing to admit anything!!

[deviantplum]

I'm not sorry for having such Great Tentacles & Incomprehensible Opinions about everything

[deviantplum]

Easter falling on 4/20 is a really big deal for ovipositing stoner heretics like specifically me.

[deviantplum]

Do you wanna play a game with me? 😇

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