#fire dick
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Funny: Bruce is completely ignorant about gen z slang
Funnier: Bruce misunderstands slang in general because his brain takes everything literally
For example:
Steph: Bruce, you look dope today.
Bruce, wondering how in God’s name he can look like weed:
#dick: oh slay!#Bruce: ?? I don’t want to?#Jason eating the lunch Bruce packed: I’m so mad this is fire#Bruce: but… but it’s not???#bruce wayne#dc#dc comics#text#stephanie brown#batman
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*1940s Bat-Man gets switched with Modern Batman*
Robin: and now we call the poli-
Bat-Man: *picks up a gun and fires it into the air* that'll get their attention
Robin: ...
______________
Red Robin: their's someone new in town we should-
Bat-Man: threaten him with a bat in the mail and a note
Red Robin: ...
Nightwing: I forgot he used to do that.
______________
Bat-Man: why is the car black?
Red Hood: the Batmobile? what color would it be?
Bat-Man: red
Red hood: ...
______________
Bruce: this 'Alfred' fellow is really nice, it's just Dick, my Fiancée Julie and I in my time. But she doesn't know I'm Bat-Man-
All: WHAT!
Bruce: yes my fiancée-
Jason: WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO ALFRED?
Bruce: oh yeah, I have no idea who that man is.
#comics#dc comics#robin#batman#tim drake#bruce wayne#dick grayson#red robin#jason todd#nightwing#damian wayne#all things in 1940s comics#the Batmobile was red. Alfred didnt exist. bruce had a fiancee. he sent bats in the mail. he fired a gun off to get the police there#batfamily#batfam#alfred pennyworth
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He may like it, guys.
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So I was thinking about the whole younger siblings getting taller that older siblings thing that I am a victim of and it got me thinking.
So it’s known that some boys will continue to grow until they reach the age of 21 . Not all of them mind you, but some of them do.
From what I remember, Dick is currently 26, Jason is 22-23, Tim is forever 16-17 and Damian is 14.
Dick being the eldest was able to stay the tallest for a long time. Then Jason came back around 17-18 and suddenly his little brother isn’t so little anymore and Dick suddenly realises that it is possible that the others will get taller than him as well.
Damian is a given as Bruce is 6’2” so Dick knows that he hasn’t got a chance there, especially when Damian starts getting that mid-teen growth spurt. But Tim…
Tim has always been shorter than him by four inches. He’s 5’6” and Dick is 5’10” and the kid is barely growing. There is hope that he will continue to be taller than Tim!
Little does Dick know that Tim is still growing, just slowly.
Something happens that causes Tim and Dick not to see each other for a little while (nothing bad, just busy vigilante stuff) so it comes as a shock to Dick when they can all get together for dinner finally that he’s not seeing the top of Tim’s head.
No, that boy is now looking at him eye to eye.
Only not completely because Tim now has an inch on Dick.
#Dick claims that he is betrayed#how could Tim do this to him#how dare the last of his little brothers get taller than him#everyone point out that Duke is still shorter than him by an inch#Dick says he doesn’t count because he has tall parents and it’s a given he’ll be taller than him#Stephanie mentions her not upset about the girls and suddenly a new fire comes to his eyes#yes he still has a chance to be taller than all his sisters#even the ones that claim they’re not his sister but are#looking at you Steph#dick grayson#batfam#dc#dc comics#tim drake
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If Tim and Steph decide that 7am is time for sibling bonding activities, it'll be so, even if the sibling they're bonding with is trying to get some goddamn sleep
#also so you guys know Damian draw that dragon for Tim's dungeon master thing#idk what its called#art#dc#dc fanart#tim drake#batfam#jason todd#tim drake fanart#stephanie brown#stephanie brown fanart#jason todd fanart#they are the most chaotic trio and I love them#okay who am I kidding everyone in the batfamily is chaotic trio no matter who you put there#you can even leave duke cass and dick in the same room cause they all look sane enough#come back in a few minutes and BOOM there's corpses and fire and why is duke holding firearm???#no no the previous statement is not true#because none of them is incompetent enough to leave the evidence
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i never posted these Ben AU drawings here and i've seen a few asks wondering about it so... here's a little synopsis i wrote for myself as a potential description later when I post it (because i don't wanna spoil it):
"There's a new boy in Damian's class. He's charming, if it bit awkward. He's just as clever as he is smart mouthed, and he's popular with their classmates. What's worse is that Benjamin Fitzpatrick lives next door in the old Drake Manor and Damian's family are convinced that Ben could be a good friend of his one day. Like that would ever happen.
Luckily for Damian, they're all more focused on the fact that there are two new vigilantes in Gotham acting like they own the place.
Unluckily, everything goes to shit when Ben starts acting strange and sickly, Spider-Man disappears just when they were getting close to him, and Damian learns that Ben's real name might not actually be Ben. Did he mention that Ben might be his older brother's clone?"
#these were drawn months ago#so I thought I would hate them by now#I'm like yeah I could do these better now#but surprisingly I don't want to set these old drawings on fire#so I figured I'd post them#erinwantstowrite#leap of faith ao3#peter parker#peter parker in gotham#au#it'll take me a while to get to this by the way guys#just like the Catwoman AU#dick grayson#damian wayne#ben au#tim drake#batfam crossovers#batfam
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With volume 2 of Wayne Family Adventures freshly released, and as your local librarian and Batman nerd, I feel the need to let everyone know that Wayne Family Adventures has at least 2 more volumes set to come out!
So if you love this series as much as I do (and I mean, come on look at that family) go get volume 2 if you haven't, then pop volumes 3 and 4 on pre-order! It's a great way to let DC know just what content we love and want to see more of, especially in print! Also if you can't swing the books yourself, ask your local library to order them! It'll help share the amazing adventures with a whole new set of readers!
You can find all the associated pre-order links here: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/authors/2289628/crc-payne
Now go forth and enjoy some fantastic family times!
#Batman#Batfam#Damian Wayne#Bruce Wayne#Dick Grayson#Jason Todd#Tim Drake#Duke Thomas#Stephanie Brown#Cassandra Cain#Alfred Pennyworth#WFA#Wayne Family Adventures#batman wfa#I'm not saying read this instead of the dumpster fire that is gotham war#but I am saying read this instead of gotham war
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Being a batfam fan is funny because people will make a post like “here’s my headcanon-“ and it’s just something that’s directly canon to the story then post about major canon events and get everything wrong.
#this post was inspired by me remembering the experience of reading death in the family#after only knowing the fanbase version and realizing oh none of that shit happened okay#like girl you don’t understand it’s so bad#Jason wasn’t even fired as Robin#He’s not accused of murdering anyone by Bruce#He’s not trying to prove himself at all he’s just looking for his mom#The reason Bruce didn’t go after him right away is because he was tracking down a goddamn nuke the Joker stole#Then after he finds it and handles the problem he helps Jason track down moms 2 and 3#Also Jason died in like 20 minutes?? even less??#He died in less time than it took his mother to smoke a cigarette#Bruce literally went ‘wait here I’ll be right back’ and was gone for less time than a trip to the grocery store#and then you go into the Jason Todd tag and they act like Bruce pulled the damn trigger on him#Like besties I don’t know how to tell you this he basically did everything right he possibly could have#Even him benching Jason from Robin temporarily happens so that he can get Jason into therapy about his trauma#Like the whole point is that neither of them did anything wrong bad shit just sometimes happens#That’s the tragedy. The drama.#Bruce couldn’t have made better choices in the position he was in and Jason was never going to make different ones#It was inevitable#Anyway rant over please read death in the family before I lose my mind#batfam#batman#jason todd#tim drake#dick grayson#damian wayne#bruce wayne
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the angel of gotham……
phantom of the opera but he’s like a stage mom trying to get his baby dick more leading roles
#dc#mine#wip#batfam#dick grayson#bruce wayne#phantom of the opera#i know im playing with fire with this concept. like to be clear my intentions are father and son
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AZULA GET BACK HERE-
Any fire siblings concept that gives them this vibe is an automatic favorite
#do NOT tag this as ship I will sic azula on your ass#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#azula#fire siblings#comic#em draws#atla fanart#I like the idea that Azula is Zuko's passive-aggressive court behavior translator#Zuko: So like. did it seem like that noble was being kind of a dick?#Azula: Currently I have a private investigation underway to uncover an assassination plot I believe he is spearheading#Zuko: Ah
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My sister: i cannot give you good criticism on your writing because my writing is not on the same level as yours
Me: this is fanfiction
#mandukkul#mandukkul’s aquarium#MY SISTER IS SO FUNNY#it’s a percy jackson fanfiction rn and i need people to read and check for me#tbh though i think my writing is actually fire fire#maybe i should release it LOL#percy jackson x reader#enhypen x reader#nishimura riki x reader#peter parker x reader#tim drake x reader#zuko x reader#wade wilson x reader#dick grayson x reader#shinso hitoshi x reader#gojo satoru x reader#hinata shoyo x reader#spender reid x reader#five hargreeves x reader#midoriya izuku x reader#kaito x reader#finnick odair x reader#genshin x reader#dc x reader#marvel x reader#peter parker pipeline basically#suna rintaro x reader#inumaki toge x reader#basically any and every character i’ve hyperfixated on x reader#nagi seishiro x reader
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Danny: helping Alfred cook breakfast for everyone because he feels bad, he eats so much more than everyone else.
Alfred: so happy that there is yet another person wanting to learn to cook and is actually good at it.
Dick: walks in and sees Danny getting to cook with Alfred and is immensely jealous because he is hardcore banned from cooking after the Thanksgiving disaster from 15 years ago.
Danny: makes eye contact with Dick.
Dick:..........
Danny:.........
Dick:........
Dick: Goes running to Tim to tattle on Alfred and Danny
#dp x dc crossover#dc x dp#tim drake wayne x danny phantom#dick tried to make an apple pie from scratch and it caught fire but somehow the flames were blue
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requested by tree-nuts-stuff
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An old man's heart
"Say mama!" Kora cooed at her child as she leaned closer to the babbling baby. "No! Say Dada! See, Say Da-da!" Dick was quick to intervene with a large grin, but suddenly a loud gasp left everyone when they heard a loud squeal "Papa!" leave the infant as the chubby hands of the child reached out for the smirking Bruce looming over the baby carrier.
To say that Bruce loved his grandchild was an understatement, Y/N, the first grandchild he'd have, the first baby to start waddling around the Wayne Manor and babble and squeal after decades, the first one to truly reach into his grandfather's heart and lock up there forever.
Dick and Kori knew it, that was why they made the decision to change your surname into Wayne instead of Grayson, they knew it would make Bruce happy, and the tears he shed when he held the small bundle close to his chest were testament to that.
"Papa! Papa!" The sound of the recorded video filled the bat cave as the brooding vigilante rewind it over and over and over "Papa! Up! Up!" The toddler's chubby hands reached out for the man filming, and Bruce paused at the second your few teeth showed in your wide smile to look closer at you, where were you little one? Who on God's green earth or even in the bloody galaxy had taken you away when you were dozing off in your crib with your favorite plush held in your arms peacefully?
Bruce berated himself over and over for being careless, for not being careful enough, he had to be quick. Good thing Dick and Kori had went on a vacation, though they were reluctant Bruce had pushed the idea of a belated honeymoon in their heads and threw them into a location that would take at least one month for them to get out of, one month for him to find you and settle this mess, or he'd rip everyone to shreds.
#yandere#blue talks#yandere batman#yandere dc#yandere x reader#yandere batfamily#yandere jason todd#yandere dick grayson#yandere damian wayne#yandere bruce wayne#yandere damain wayne#yandere koriand'r#yandere star fire#yandere nightwing#yandere Robin#yandere red hood#yandere red robin#yandere alfred pennyworth
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World's Bestest.
#Superman#Batman#Green Lantern#Green Arrow#booster gold#blue beetle#fire#Ice#nightwing#Flash#Superboy#Robin#black canary#batgirl#hawkman#the atom#clark kent#bruce wayne#oliver queen#hal jordan#ted kord#michael carter#beatriz da costa#tora olafsdotter#dick grayson#wally west#jon kent#damian wayne#dinah lance#barbara gordon
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tyrion lannister, hand of the king
#got#asoiaf#game of thrones#a song of ice and fire#its so funny. he sent me to drain the cisterns#tywin is all im a stonecold strategist motherfucker couldn't even give his son an allegorical shit job he gave him a literal shit job#for all tywins apparent emotionlessness he is in fact a man just as led by his dick and his fervor as his father and its awesome#tyrion lannister#tywin lannister
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