#finishing leftovers and then not eating for 24 hours

[drawnecromancysdiary]

i'm genuinely mad at myself for letting shit get this bad these last 2 days actually. because now it means it entirely threw off EVERYTHING I WANTED TO DO FOR THE NEXT M O N T H.

everything.

the only thing that doesn't really move is school stuff. so now on top of being late for my personal projects, which arguably is whatever, i'm ALSO late on school work, which means that like...

i'm probably not going to finish anything that isn't a fun craft i can do for 30 mins at a time until this summer. and I feel so bad about it, too. this sucks. this fucking sucks.

[cozage]

Coza! congrats on 2K followers. I like your smuts and i don't know what. idea I want.CouldI request for the Option 1? Reaction of Luffy + ace + Zoro + sabo + taking care of you when your sick.

I am actually very sick today so this one was nice to think about :) 

Characters: gn reader x Luffy, Ace, Zoro, Sabo CW: I didn’t proofread this forgive me for errors   Total word count: 860

In Sickness and Health

Luffy

He is worried sick about you. He spends the whole morning just trying to get you to laugh. 

He tells jokes, makes funny faces, and plays pranks on Zoro. Anything he can think of to get you smiling and laughing.

Sometimes he succeeds in getting you to laugh, but it quickly turns into a coughing fit, so he eventually gives up on the laughing endeavor. 

Instead, he climbs into bed with you and pulls you flush against his body. He holds you and whispers sweet nothings into your ears to lull you to sleep. 

He wipes the sweat off your brow and rubs your face with a cool rag when you get hot. Even when you're asleep, he still does it. 

When it’s time to eat, he doesn’t ask for your food. It’s probably one of the first times in his life that he hopes there are no leftovers. He knows you need the food to get strong. 

And when you finally get out of bed, he bounces with joy, excited to resume his normal routine with you again. 

Ace

Ace doesn’t know what to do when he wakes up and you’re the warm one in the bed. So he runs to get Marco. 

“They're fine,” Marco says. “It’s just a fever. It will pass.”

“Can’t you just heal them?!” Ace whispered, looking at you nervously. 

“With little things like this it does more harm than good. Let their body fight it. If it’s still bad in 24 hours, come back to me.”

Ace is so worried he doesn’t eat. He doesn’t leave your side. He had tried to cuddle up to you, but you had kicked him away. 

Now he sits on the floor beside the bed, his hand outstretched and intertwined with yours as you sleep. 

He only wakes you to drink water and to eat. Even though it’s the last thing you want, he makes you consume something to keep your energy up. 

After a few hours, he still hasn’t moved from his spot, and you finally allow him to rejoin you in bed. The heat is still miserable, but at least he’s a comfy pillow. 

The next night your fever finally breaks. And though you’re still miserable, at least he knows you’re going to be okay. 

Zoro

Zoro was surprised that you weren’t out on the deck by mid morning. You hadn’t had a particularly late night, so it strikes him as strange. 

As he opens the door to your room, you groan and roll away from the light. 

He barks out a laugh. “That hungover? I didn’t even see you drink!”

“Migraine,” you moan, pressing your hands to your temple as you speak. 

“Oh.” Zoro's voice instantly drops several octaves. “What can I do?”

“Just come lay here with me.” You stretch out an arm to him, beckoning him into bed. 

He has no option but to join you, his strong arms immediately wrapping around you and flexing against you. You feel safe in his arms, and slip into unconsciousness immediately. 

When you finally wake up, the sharp stabbing has left, but Zoro still has you firmly in his arms. 

“Are you hungry? Do you-“

“Shower,” you cut him off with your own words. “I’d really like a shower.”

So he leads you to the bath house and he gingerly washes your hair and your body as you keep your eyes closed, trying to minimize the effects of your migraine. 

When you finish in the shower, he silently takes you back to your room and the two of you lay around for the rest of the day, quietly talking or sleeping or just enjoying each other's company. 

Sabo

“Soup?” He whispered, cracking the door open just a tad as he held a bowl.

“How’d you know?” You groaned, throwing a pillow over your head. 

He laughed, deciding not to tell you how it was almost noon. He knew you weren’t always an early riser, but you were only in bed at this time if you were sick. 

“I called out, so we can-“

“Sabo!” You cried. “You shouldn’t have called out!”

“But you’re sick.” He held out a book. “I got you a new book and everything.”

You hummed in delight, taking the book from him and setting it down on the nightstand. 

“Do you want to be alone, or can I join you?”

You really didn’t want another body in the bed with you while you were feeling so gross. But you also didn’t want to be alone. 

“Can you just stay in the room?” You asked. 

“Let me grab some work, I’ll be right back.”

He worked quietly at his desk in your room, only taking breaks to fetch you water or food or anything else you would ask for.

And you fell asleep to the quiet scratching of his pen, sleeping well in the fact that he would never leave you alone when you needed him. 

[chronicallycouchbound]

Let People On Food Stamps Eat Hot Meals

Particularly on cold, rainy days (like today), while unhoused, sometimes all I want is a hot meal but it’s so difficult (if not impossible) to cook outside in the rain.

On top of this, I’m physically disabled and chronically ill. Medically, I’m supposed to have assistance with making meals as part of in home care. But I can’t get in home care without a home.

I just finished making dinner for my partner and I, it took 2 hours (3 if you include clean up). My knees are burning, my back is aching in it’s core, I feel like I’m about to faint, and all my joints are screaming. But it’s the only way we could have a hot meal today and get some protein, which is vital for our health conditions.

People judge us for using what little funds we have on McDonald’s some days. Because sometimes, it’s the only hot meal we’ve had in days. And sometimes I’m physically unable to stand, move, and do all the actions needed to cook. Or I faint while cooking. Or the rain doesn’t let up. Or we don’t have access to a kitchen for the day. Or the fire danger outside is too high. The list goes on.

Without my own kitchen to use, I don’t get to sit down while I cook (right now, everything is wet from the rain), I can’t meal prep, I can’t stock up on freezer meals, I can’t use an oven or a microwave to reheat leftovers, I can’t just reach across the kitchen for a fridge item (we have a small amount of fridge space friends let us use), everything about cooking is exponentially harder.

And even if I had 24/7 access to an accessible, full kitchen, it’s not even physically safe to cook my own meals. Even then, having a pre-made, hot, ready-to-eat meal could keep me safe and give me independance.

And all the safety needs for hot meals aside, emotionally, hot meals are also life saving and comfort. Meals are a part of community, culture, love and art.

So many gatherings we have as communities center around food. Most people in the United States would think of ones that often hold great value to Western culture. Mother’s Day breakfast. Spaghetti fundraisers. Wedding cakes. Birthday dinners. Bake sales. Carnival treats. BBQs on weekends. Holiday roasts. Lunches with friends. Casseroles brought to grieving neighbors.

Our world revolves around food.

I firmly believe that no poor person could ever “take advantage” of a system designed to feed us by using food stamps on hot food. This restrictive rule serves no purpose but to punish the most vulnerable of poor people— unhoused, disabled, and those of us living in unsafe conditions.

It also serves to restrict our access to joy and comfort. The joy can sometimes come from the food itself, but also the joy from having shared experiences solidified by the sounds of laughter and forks clinking on plates. The comfort can sometimes also be from the food itself, but also the experience of being loved and cared for while your close friend brings you pizza from your favorite restaurant because you lost your drive to eat three weeks ago and they worry about you. They know you. Those slices of pizza bring color back into your world.

Poor people deserve to be able to have the comfort, joy, and care that goes into a hot meal. We deserve the autonomy to choose foods that are best for us ourselves. We deserve to be able to eat in ways that are accessible to us.

Above all, we deserve access to hot meals.

Originally posted to my blog on 6.3.22

[robin-evry]

I think it would be fun if senshi! Yuu would be in twst. They are obviously going to see students as "growing organisms" (especially Ruggie, because he is skinny and that's no good)

For those who I haven't done their request I will try to upload daily as well to finish the request that has been pilling in my inbox. And if I finish I will open my inbox again for new request from you guys, so I'll upload as fast as I can and finish the request in my inbox

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐈𝐅 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈!𝐘𝐔𝐔 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐖𝐒𝐓

Senshi (センシ, Senshi?) is a Dwarf warrior in Laios' Party.

I imagine when grim open the covin door and senshi!yuu was already thinking what type of monster grim is and what type of dishes they would make, good thing they didn't

Senshi!Yuu would grow accustomed towards NRC as well as twisted wonderland, usually visiting the library to borrow some encyclopedia to duty the magic creatures they could make.

As well exploring the mountains to look for unique ingredients for their dish, and that's how they met jade who was on their way to look for mushrooms and that's how a friendship blooms.

Senshi!yuu would take the mushrooms or ingredients they picked up with jade and make a recipe out of it and they would give the recipe towards jade and that's how they caught azuls eye.

24/7 at the kitchen of NRC, as well forming strong friend ship with trey and Jamil, trey even convince them to start a cooking club where they teach many students how to cook.

No one is brave enough to mess with senshi!yuu why because they are loveable as well very loved by the schools population.

Senshi!yuu would usually cook something in the middle of lunch and catch many students looking at the finished dish and would invite them to a meal. Ruggie's favorite person because senshi!yuu would give him free meals as well leftovers for him to eat so he doesn't have to buy lunch

Unfortunately many people don't have the adventurous pallet as the ones who are brave to taste senshi unique monster cooking, one of those people vil, no matter what vil is not comfortable in eating but finally submits to eat the meal it was delicious but the idea of where it comes from would keep vil from eating it.

Rook and epel admire senshi!yuu because towards their skill and knowledge of monsters, rook would usually ask questions about monster anatomy towards senshi!yuu as well enjoy their cooking.

When senshi!yuu learn about Azul and the twins are merman's, they tend to think what to cook with it. That's also a reason why the twins and Azul carry some fears of senshi!yuu.

During overblot fights I feel like senshi!yuu would lean on the defense side protecting their friends using their trusty pan to deflect attacks from the enemy.

One time they ask malleus if he shed his horns Infront of sebek and the other dismonia gang, this cause sebek immediately started to lecture them and they just •-• and doesn't see what's wrong because it's just a question about fae anatomy. Malleus burst out laughing instantly.

Would daily get together with the rest of their friends to eat and enjoy a meal together.

Even tho they have a unique way of seeing monsters as well as monsters, many people respect them for it rook by far keep complimenting about their knowledge as well as him being curious about dwarfs.

I imagine there was a situation in making a potion and senshi!yuu was turned into an elf for 24 hours and when the first years approached vil and Mr crewel about this situation and when they looked at senshi!yuu in elf form, their jaws drop towards the floor and immediately yelled "WHO ARE YOU" unable to recognize them.

The most lovable student in NRC, as well not to mess with especially since the savanaclaw students protect as well as powerful students protecting them.

Senshi!yuu is capable of using magic but due to their beliefs they rarely use it only using it when needed.

[bibucktrashpanda]

Princess Part 2

Okay this plot bunny won't leave me alone and all the notes and reblogs made me happy so I am just going to write while inspiration strikes. I am not sure if there will be more of this but I also didn't know there was going to be a part two. Warning for language. Not beta'ed, we die like Buck's heterosexuality.

Summary: Tommy loves his boyfriend and honestly it's not fair that he now has two sets of puppy eyes to resist. Link to part 1 below.

Princess Part 2

Tommy knows that he is fucked the moment he sees the photo from Eddie. 

It’s almost 4 am and he has just gotten home from a rough shift but he isn’t tired. He just wants Evan but knows Evan won’t be home for a few hours. 

Climbing into bed without his lover is anathema for him after a shift that was filled with casualties and so he decides to catch up on some chores. He knows better than to fuck around with Evan’s kitchen so he doesn’t do much more than helping himself to a Tupperware of leftovers that have his name in a heart on a sticky note on top of it. 

He is about to eat it standing at their counter but than hears even’s voice lecturing him about respecting the animal that gave its life for the meat in the lasagna even if it had come from the farmers market from a small farm owned by a lesbian couple in their 50’s that Evan has charmed and has been invited to visit. Evan had gone on a research binge on industrial farming and by the end Tommy hasn’t even been able to look at packaged meat in the grocery store without feeling nauseous and heartbroken. 

So Tommy takes his food to the unfinished breakfast nook and sits down to eat it, mindfully. He snorts thinking about the ‘demure’ meme that even has been quoting nonstop for weeks after learning about it from Christopher. 

He is just finishing when his phone chirps with an incoming text. The preview is just a gaudy gif of an “It’s a girl” banner. Confused, he clicks on it to see a photo of Evan cradling a tiny puppy to his chest which looks massive next to the tiny pup. A follow up text from Eddie reads “Congrats on becoming a dog dad. Her name is Princess and nothing is going to pry her out of Evan’s hands. You are so fucked.”

Tommy has to agree. The focus of the photo is the puppy but Tommy can still see the expression on Evan’s face, one that he is familiar with because Evan looks at him like that all the time, pure love. 

He is so fucked. 

Because he can be a bitch he texts back to Eddie “I mean I’m not fucked at the moment but Evan generally is very thorough. Let me know which vet you end up at?” And while Evan is the notorious list maker out of the two of them, Tommy can appreciate a good list and starts making a list of supplies they need for their newest family member, while ignoring Eddie's response of "MY EYES". 

**** 

An hour later he gets a text from Evan with an address and a request. “Her throat is bruised from her collar, can you swing by a store and pick up a puppy chest harness? This is one has good reviews and should be in stock at this  24 hour Petco and meet me at the vet?”

He smiles and responds “You’ve been busy. Aren’t you forgetting something?”

He is already moving to the door when he gets a response from Evan. It’s a photo of Evan, changed out of his turnouts, pouting, holding up the puppy, who is clean and awake. Both of them are staring at the camera with two sets of blue eyes and surprisingly the puppy has a black patch of fur over her left eye which almost matches up with Evan’s birthmark. 

Christ, he’s whipped. How is he supposed to hold out against two sets of puppy eyes one of which is from an actual puppy??

The text below the photo reads “Please, Daddy?”

He is so fucked. “Not in front of the kid!  Fine, you brat. See you in a little bit.”

The next photo is Evan grinning as the Princess licks his cheek. 

He is just getting to the store when he gets another text. “Uh, since you are going to the store anyway, pretty please?” with the pleading face emoji  and a list of supplies that pretty well matches the list he jotted down earlier. He sends Evan a photo of his list resting in the small basket of a shopping cart with the eye rolling emoji. 

The sky is just beginning to brighten when Tommy pulls up to the emergency vet, he should be exhausted but he finds that he is excited to meet Princess and to see Evan. 

The receptionist looks up as he enters with one of his shopping bags. “You must be Tommy?”

He nods and raises an eyebrow at her. “Mr. Buckley said to imagine the most gorgeous man i have ever seen and then double it. I can see what he means.” 

He chuckles and follows as she leads him back. “I mean I would describe him the same way.” 

Before she can respond they enter a room where Evan is sitting on the floor bad leg extended out, puppy snoozing pressed up against the inside. Evan is lightly petting her with one hand and scrolling on his phone with the other, humming softly. 

Tommy’s heart melts into a puddle and he quickly snaps a photo before Buck looks up. 

“Hey.” He says softly, crouching down next to Buck to give him a quick peck. 

“Thanks for coming.” Evan smiles at him. Tommy smiles back. “Of course.” It’s become a thing, echoing this exchange from what Evan calls their actual first date. In the back of his head he is toying with the idea of getting ‘of course’ engraved on the engagement ring he has had picked out since just after the Billy Boil incident. He stood at the  edge of that grave, listening to his ridiculous boyfriend eulogize a man who had been dead for over a century and knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that he wanted to spend the rest of his life indulging this man whose heart seemed to have infinite capacity. 

“So what happened?” He asks, wrapping an arm around Evan who leans into him. 

“I found her tangled under a bush as I was doing a check of a yard of a burnt out house. She was cold and crying and couldn’t free herself. Turns out she belonged to the family that lived there and didn’t make it. The one relative the police could find hates dogs and was just going to drop her off at a shelter.” Evan turned to him “I couldn’t let that happen, not when bully breeds don’t have a good adoption rate! She’s already traumatized.” His voice is distressed and Tommy presses a kiss to his birthmark. “Shhhh, of course you couldn’t.” He murmurs against the pink skin which is one of his favorite things about Evan. 

He settles in next to Evan and stares down at the puppy who is blinking awake. Closer he can see that she resembles a pitbull or at least mostly pitbull, with black freckles on her white nose.  The rest of her seems to be white except for the tip of her tail which looks like she dipped it in an inkwell and is wagging so quickly he almost expects to see a cartoon cloud of dust poofing up. 

“Hi Princess.” He holds his hand by her, letting her choose to come to him. She stumbles over and all but shoves her head into his palm. She is soft and Tommy already loves her. 

“Taking after your pop with that grace.” He teases stroking her back. Evan makes a noise and he looks up to see Evan gazing at him smiling softly.

He looks back down at Princess who is trying to climb up his leg and gently picks her up to cradle her between him and Evan. 

“Welcome to the family, honey,” He whispers as Evan brings a hand up to stroke her. They have a lot to do and he can feel the exhaustion settling into his bones, but there is nowhere in the world he would rather be then here, cuddled up with the love of his life and their new puppy. 

[froggyed]

01:13

Kinda wondering if I should eat a snack before I go to bed or continue to starve?? I do have some leftover curry that I need to finish eating and I rlly don't want to waste it 😭😭 will report back later about what I choose to do!

---

01:37

Decided to gave 117 calories of cookies. Hopefully it was a good choice. I'm gonna try to eat around 700 calories a day because finals are coming up and I need energy. I can't afford brain fog right now.

I'm gonna end the night with some lemon tea then go to bed!

---

15:47

Working out soon! I'm very happy. I lost another 0.6 oz today! I hope it stays consistent. I can't believe I've lost over 2 lb since last Thursday!!! I'm gonna do some weight exercises today too.

Listening to "Skinny" by Edith Backlund on repeat to motivate myself.

---

16:42

Just finished doing a lot of dumbell exercises and my legs feel like they want to fail me, haha.

I need to do cardio now though. I can't stop. I only burned 120 calories.

---

16:44

Starting cardio. Legs are like jelly.

---

17:10

Yayyy, 130 more calories burned!!! I'm debating if I want to eat dinner after this. I'm tired, but I'm not hungry at all. Maybe it's because I've been drinking so much green tea?

I'm super happy with my progress so far. Also, "Skinny" is REALLY helping time go by during my workout, haha. Can't believe it's already been an hour and half of working out. :)))

---

18:50

I'm home now, I'm gonna eat some pasta. But I also don't want to ahhHhhh. 😩😩

But I can't tell my bf I'm not hungry because I said I haven't eaten yet. Ugh.

---

21:49

Not feeling the best right now... Might make some tea... ugh...

The idea of finals is really stressing me out.

I know I said I'd eat ~700 calories today, but the fact that I did is making me upset lol. I feel like I shouldn't've done that. I feel really guilty now, like I failed.

---

23:19

Just finished two quizzes, gonna make some green tea and work on a project now 😌

Making some tea and I hope to drink all of it by the time I'm done for the night.

---

Stats:

Steps: 11,722

Water: 1.7 L

Calories out: 2,134

Calories in: 689

Weigh in: 115.8

~~~

12/09/24

[matchstixx]

The People We Think We Know

Chapter 2

Pairing: Tobirama x fem!Reader

WC: 2,134

CW: Death, mildly graphic description of gore and sickness, mentioned/attempted human trafficking but no actual happenstance

Read on Ao3

[Series Master List]

<- Prev Chapter | Next Chapter ->

This opportunity cannot be wasted; manipulate, scheme, lie, do whatever it takes to survive.

The thought is still disconcerting even after repeating it each morning when you wake up and each night before you sleep, for the past five years. Like a piece of your past self’s morality still trying to maintain structure within this world you’ve been thrust into. Beg, barter, steal? You’ve done it all by now in this 5-year-old body. It’s easy enough, since adults don’t expect you–a visible child in their eyes–to have the mind of a 24 year old. And why would they? It’s not like transmigration is a thing here…or maybe it is? You never finished the manga.

Between rent, tuition, food, studying, class, job shifts, and more and more and more, there wasn’t really any time or leftover money to go buy the newest volumes (and the store clerk yelled at you the last time you tried to speed through the pages, telling you to ‘buy it or get out’).

So, catching up on the Naruto series was quickly reduced to streaming it off some sketchy website on your phone while you were studying–rewinding it every couple of minutes when you missed something important. Then quickly morphed into nothing at all when your parents berated you during winter break about your declining grades because of the distraction.

And slowly, you were being crushed. Already two years behind on your 4 year degree, debt adding up, increasing shift hours, piled up homework and projects. It was wake up, eat, survive, sleep, and repeat, again and again and again and AGAIN. AND AGAIN. AND AGAIN.

And then, there was the accident.

You’d like to say it was quick, that you hadn’t laid on the concrete for 20 minutes, bleeding out, broken bones pressing up through skin, and collapsed lung straining to inflate with each draw of breath. The EMS responders had been kind, you vaguely recall, a pensive seriousness on their faces and reassurances that ‘everything will be okay, just stay awake for me.’ And for a couple moments, you had believed them.

Death wasn’t that bad. The lead up was–for sure–but actual death? It had really felt about the same as being put under at the dentist’s for your wisdom teeth removal. A heavy lethargy and the vague awareness of the passage of time, but ignorant of how long it’d been since you had closed your eyes in the first place.

And when you had opened your eyes again, it had been to a midwife jostling you about for a reaction in a rustic room; a sweaty, exhausted woman collapsed on what could barely be called a bed in the corner and a grumpy man staring down at you with disappointment and disdain.

It was weird being a baby with the mind and awareness of a grown adult. Weird to have a different name and face and family. You had resisted the mortifying experience of being breastfed for as long as your stomach could take (a whole 6 hours) much to the dissatisfaction and worry of the woman who had become your mother in this world.

(A part of you had almost given in to the guilt after hour 2 when the woman had begun crying, pulling at her hair and smacking her head as she pleaded for you to eat. But working through the realization that you had died and been reborn–while maintaining your adult sentiency as a newborn–had you holding on stubbornly to your own pride.)

It wasn’t until you had turned 3-years-old in this world, when you had realized that you had transmigrated into the world of Naruto.

You had been born into a small village made up of outcasts and wanderers, in the middle-of-nowhere-Land of Fire, to farm hands who had barely even read or heard stories about shinobi, let alone seen or met one. For a while, you had thought that you just had been reborn into one of the historical periods of Japan; with yukatas, kimono, and shoji screen doors.

It was a small Senju unit that had shown up in town demanding room and board that had triggered your realization. A heavily pregnant woman was being escorted by the shinobi group, with a 4-year-old holding one of her hands, a 2-year-old grasping the other, and a 1-year-old strapped to her back with a length of cloth. Your mother had quickly urged you to help her clean the empty room that used to be your ‘grandmother’s’ for the woman, the shinobi taking up residence around the house with severe looks.

She had gone into labor later that night and you were left with her three sons to listen to the screams and sobs happening from the other side of the house. The 4-year-old, a brown-haired boy with a bowl cut, had cried the whole time, curled up with arms crossed over his ears and head. The albino 2-year-old had sat eerily still and silent the entire time, holding his swaddled little brother in his arms firmly as the baby snoozed through the noise. You had simply left them be in their own forms of anguish, quietly serving tea and dry, nearly-stale, crackers; your movements closely scrutinized by the red eyes of the younger boy across from you.

The albino boy only reacted once that night, in the moment right before the house went deadly silent; a furrow to his brow and mouth pinching into a thin line as tears flooded to his eyes but didn’t spill.

The Senju unit left the next day, led by a severe looking man. The two boys from last night silently followed him with bowed heads and a little brother in each of their arms.

There was a new grave mound in the cemetery that morning, the dirt freshly dug and covered in the middle of the night while the boys had been asleep.

—

A year and a half later, your ‘parents’ died in an epidemic in the village. Your ‘father’ was the strong, silent type, upset at having been given a girl for a child. Although, stubborn denial had him dragging you out to the fields and tool shed each day to teach you how to work with your hands, much to the begrudgement of your mother. The whole time he cared for you, he would make the standard, berating commentary at your ‘mother’ about being a ‘good wife’ by giving him a son. She had just gotten pregnant three months before she died to the sickness. Then, barely a month later, husband followed wife.

Part of you had felt bad; a weird kind of grief held for people that were simultaneously your entire world, and yet somehow still strangers. There was no funeral, the mortician/gravedigger/town doctor had died within the first 2 months of the outbreak; the villagers had taken to throwing all of that day’s bodies into large pits and lighting them on fire. They would burn for hours into the night, the smell of burning flesh and blood and puss a nauseating thing that would sometimes keep you up at night, retching off the back porch.

You had quickly packed up a bag after a somewhat appropriate amount of grieving time, spent holed up in the house and eating all of the food in the cabinets growing stale and moldy. It was easy to find Father’s hidden money stash, a large handful of bills that he set aside to spend at the dusty bar a few buildings down. He used to tell Mother that he had ‘worker meetings’ with the other farm hands in town, which was actually just all of the married men going out to drink themselves into a stupor and make perverse commentary about the young women in the village. A part of you knows that Mother was aware of what he was up to as she would spend the time teaching you to read and write–skills that your Father had been adamant about not needing in life–, never commenting on the strong smell of alcohol coming from him when he would get home.

A couple of Mother’s nice-ish kimonos get folded up in the bag, hopefully to be sold when the coins run out, and you cut up a pair of Father’s hakama to use while you travel. Then, you take to the road without a single word to any of the other villagers; they’d probably figure you went and died in the woods out of grief.

You learn to avoid the various clan compounds, unfriendly at best or completely hostile at worst to strangers and outsiders, moreso to those claiming to be unaffiliated. Large villages are also approached with caution, the inhabitants of the nicer streets gazing at your stained and dirty clothes with disgust and refusing you sales. You’re mostly ignored in the more impoverished areas; where you have coin, vendors will sell–regardless of your age and lack of adult supervision.

It’s an attempted kidnapping from a group of human traffickers that leaves you without your bag, discarded in your struggle, and clothes ripped and dirty where you had raced through the dusty back alleys of a town in your haste. When you assess the damage later as you’re trying to clean out the stains and mend the large gashes, you decide to steal a mostly empty rice bag behind one of the houses on the edge of the village. The grains fill you for a week and a half before you turn the empty bag into a makeshift dress to replace the pieces of cloth that are practically sloughing off your bony body at this point.

It’s a long 7 months filled with wandering about to new towns to steal food from. Your stomach is gurgling and clenching around its emptiness when you hear the sound of celebration in the distance. Eventually, you come across the walls of a clan compound, the sentries sparse in their towers and quickly distracted by the stone you throw further into the woods. When they disappear, you squeeze through a crack between two of the large pikes of wood, split open with rot and waterlog, and barely covered by a shrubbery blooming with large flowery petals.

From experience, you make your way to the temple first after you can tell that whatever festival is taking place is set up in the main village area instead. Bowing your head to the statue of the goddess in the temple’s main chamber, you mumble an apology and thanks for the food. A brief glare of sunlight across the gold gilding of the statue almost makes you think that the goddess is granting you permission to the food offerings laid at her feet.

You made it halfway through the plate when the miko finds you with an enraged shout.

The ‘innocent, poor child’ ploy you’ve curated over the years easily slides into place when more adults show up. You crank up the pitiful act when the matriarch, ‘Yoko’, looks upon you with a level of adoration that only a woman who draws happiness from raising kids can manage.

You barely manage to keep the surprise off your face when Yoko calls out to the boy in front of you with a familiar name. He stares at you with a wary distrust, eyes flickering to who you gather is his father in deference. The Uchiha compound. Just your luck to stumble across them of all people.

It’s hard to keep the childish expressions from cracking and revealing the more complex intrigue that flits to the surface as you are brought to the clan head’s house. You pretend to take interest in the architecture, using the time to look at Madara and the other Uchiha sons out of your periphery. Madara stares at you with obvious suspicion while the other three, unmentioned by name in the manga and anime, stare at you with blatant curiosity.

It’s odd, seeing Madara before he succumbed to rage and despair. He has so much personality, lofty and naively unstructured goals, and strong attachments to each of his family members. His facial expressions are comical when compared to the serious version of him you’d seen in fanarts and video clips.

You slink into the futon after you shoo him out of the room, the full brunt of all of the events in your new life and the past 7 months hitting you hard enough to bring you to tears. You bite them back and pull the covers over your head to hide the quiet whimpers that seep out.

The tears eventually dry up as the exhaustion starts to pull you under, your mind churning with plans and next steps. There is no rest for the wicked.

This opportunity cannot be wasted; manipulate, scheme, lie, do whatever it takes to survive.

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[jillyfoo]

Changeling Encore, Dungeon Meshi Fanfiction [first chapter complete]

Changeling Encore, Dungeon Meshi Fanfiction 

(An excuse to write about Tallchuck so I can finally stop obsessing over him.)

 [What if Laios’ party did not return to normal from the changelings the second night? What if they couldn’t wash off the changeling spores right away? We will also say the 2nd fight with the gargoyles ended without them figuring out how the changeling mushrooms worked. The Mad Mage and Falin’s encounter with the Canaries had left him badly injured. 

Recommend watching all 24 episodes of Dungeon Meshi anime or manga up to 51 beforehand. Alternative story and events to Manga chapters 53-56 and 62.

POV: Tallchuck ]

Izutsumi as a kobold dives into her dumplings and makes them disappear. She is becoming less picky now that she’s part dog. The now tallest member of the party couldn’t taste each individual flavor of the meat as distinctly as when he was a halfling but the savory taste is great regardless. To think the strange mushrooms can change creatures down to the muscles and cells. Chilchuck finishes his meal and feels unsatisfied. Makes sense because a tallman would need to eat a lot more calories than a halfling. At six and a half feet tall he guessed he’s probably three times the weight he was as a halfling. There’s no point worrying about gaining weight and springing traps cause he’s obviously way too heavy already as a tallman. He asks for seconds. The party stops briefly noticing his act making him feel self conscious. Senshi as an elf looks overjoyed and fills his plate with more dumplings. 

“You have grown so much. Please make sure to eat your fill.” He said in a sweet feminine, yet to Chilchuck, also unnerving voice.

“Hey. I want some too.” Laios protests. Laios as a plump dwarf would probably eat the same amount as his normal tallman form, Chilchuck figured.

“You can have mine. I’m already full.” Marcille, now a tiny halfling, gives her leftovers to Laios. Chilchuck continues to eat, agitated that he is being stared at by everyone in the party. He’s not used to standing out. He sighs. “So as I am now it looks like I can’t do my job properly anymore. Marcille, I am going to have to guide you though disabling step traps as we encounter them.”

Laios buds in. “You’re right Chilchuck. I was thinking that we will have to reassign our roles in the party until we get our normal bodies back. I’m going to teach you some close combat.”

“I can also teach you magic!” Marcille piped in. Damn it, Chilchuck thought. He had hoped they would forget about their last battle debacle.

“Hey, that’s too much at once!” He pointed at Senshi. “You should teach the elf magic!” Senshi drops the pot he was cleaning. The elf’s arms curled into his delicate chest. He stammers.

“You know how I feel about magic. I.. I don’t feel comfortable with it at all. I’m not… you all may have changed, but I’m still the same on the inside.” He pleads to them with tearful, innocent doe eyes. Everyone could not help but leer at him in disbelief. Laios the ever present optimist breaks the silence.

“We are going to have to adapt as best as we can. Let’s for now clean up the dishware and then look over our inventory to see what weapons will work best in our new bodies.”

Not too long after cleaning up, Chilchuck looked over all the weapons in his possession. Throwing knives. That could work, but will run out if they can’t be recovered. Blade knife and bowie knife. He knew Laios would say that because of the aggro his large form will receive in combat, longer blades such as swords would work better. Knives are meant for surprise stabs like Kabru’s attack on Falin as a chimera. Lastly, the bow. He won’t be able to use it. His hand practically enveloped it. It looks like a child’s- Oh hell no! All his adult life he’s been working to not be seen as a kid from the other races! How dare that creep into his head now that he’s been tallman for just a few hours!

“Lights out.” Senshi calls to him from behind. The beastly dwarf turned into a paper thin shadow of himself struggles to drag his ax to him. “Borrow this and protect us.” Senshi gazes up at him like a princess at her champion. A breeze seemed to be coming from somewhere blowing his long black curly locks. Willing to do anything to get out of this awkward moment Chilchuck reluctantly accepts the gift. There’s no way I can fight with this shoddy thing.

Seeing that there was little else to do, Chilchuck undoned Laios’ borrowed armor and settled into his blankets to sleep. Thankfully Izutsumi seems to be bothering someone else tonight. Everything sounds so calm and quiet as he drifts off.

“Chilchuck!”

“Wha!” The tallman startles awake. “Laios… lights out.” Chilchuck growls.

“Oh that’s no problem for me. I can see in the dark now that I’m a dwarf.” Laios laughs obnoxiously.

“Go to bed, Laios!” Marcille calls out from the darkness, obviously annoyed. Laios tones down into a whisper. 

“So I was thinking about what can be used to aid you fight and I remembered that when I started out fighting monsters I used a shield. That should distract the monsters while the rest of us take it down. I recovered my old shield from the floor we first fought the dragon in and I’ll let you have it. I don’t know if we will have much time to practice-”

“I can still hear you, Laios! Shut up and go to sleep already!”

“I’m sorry! Marcille!” Laios sets down his shield next to him. “I will leave this here for you. Everything is going to be fine. We will make it work.”, he reassures Chilchuck in a cheery tone.

A worry seed plants firmly in Chilchuck’s mind. He had very little direct combat experience. Heck Kabru and his party had way more experience than him and how many times did his party find them dead these past few days? It’s gonna be the mimics all over again except Marcille can’t revive anymore cause she’s a halfling. Nothing good will come of this.

The next morning fully geared up Chilchuck holds the ax and the shield up for Laios.

“This ax is meant for two hands.” Chilchuck tries to use any excuse not to take up a new responsibility. Laios comes up to him, handing him his sword.

“Then let’s switch. I’ll take the ax.” Chilchuck hesitates knowing that there is a monster inside the handle to that sword. It had transformed from the changelings too, becoming a kitsch looking skull and bat wings sword. A light emits from the edge of the blade. 

A question emerged in his thoughts, Don’t you want to fight monsters head on too? 

No. I don’t.

On the other side of the camp, Marcille draws a heat spell inscription on the stone floor while Izutsumi and Senshi watch. Izutsumi pokes her head into the spell inscription, sniffing the charcoal lines with her big dog nose.

“Izutsumi move. This is going to get hot.” Little halfling Marcille pushes the giant dog girl away as best she can. She looks up to Senshi. “See I already drew the spell. Elves naturally have a lot of mana. All I need for you to do is tap it here with my staff and channel the energy of fire.”

Senshi glumly takes the staff. 

“Well if it’s to make tea…” He taps it. The lines turn red and fire erupts from it sending sparks everywhere. The three scream out and bolt away.

“What do you think you’re doing!? That was too strong!” Izutsumi yells. Laios attention turns over to them and heads over. While he’s distracted this is a good opportunity to inspect the sword. Chilchuck searched through the gaps in the hilt to find tiny changeling mushrooms growing inside. Disgusting. He will probably need to check his clothing and person to make sure there aren't more of them. For only a moment a gooey creature with snail eyes peeks out at him and sinks back into the sword.

“There you are, you little bastard.” It’s time to get rid of this nonsense before someone gets hurt.  Chilchuck takes out a matchstick and lights under the area where the monster was hidden. The spores burn easily causing the living armor monster to push out in an attempt to escape. The flame causes the slimy surface of the creature to boil. Its eyes dissolve into its body as it cooks. He knew it was just an unintelligent monster, but it seems to curse him as it shrivels up. You’re not immune. Suddenly Chilchuck falls over from being tackled from behind.

“Stop! What are you doing to Kensuke?!” Laios yells. The dwarf seizes back his sword and holds it like a baby. “Kensuke, are you still there? Kensuke!” he cries.

“I’m killing it for your own good! You should have done that ages ago!”

“But he helped us get through the door…” Laios sniffs. Marcille steps in.

“Laios, having that monster around was nagging at me too. You can’t keep it forever.” 

“Listen to your elders, Laios.” Senshi said in support. Thank god the rest of the party understands reason. Laios pauses and lifts the sword up in a moment of introspection. Chilchuck could not confirm if he had fully killed the monster. Laios gets up and addresses him solemnly.

“Understood Mr. Chilchuck, sir. It won’t happen again.”

That’s new. He had never had Laios behave that formally to him. Laios did not give the sword back to him, meaning the bug was probably still alive, but whatever. It’s damaged enough that it won’t be moving or peeking out for the rest of the time they are here.

They continue on to an enclosed castle wall level with multiple passage ways. There’s no monster encounters for several hours. Chilchuck anticipates his lack of senses getting in the way of moving past this level. Everyone feels tired and hungry. Laios suggests everyone to take a break to discuss what to do next.

“Something’s different. We have made no progress since going through the door. What has changed? ” Laios asks.

“I have read about dungeons that are an endless, empty maze instead of environments full of monsters. Maybe the Mad Mage changed his strategy? We got so far down here by eating monsters to sustain us. Something must have happened to scare him enough to change from offense to defense. ” suggests Marcille.

“What a cheap trick. He intends to starve us.” Izutsumi adds.

“That is a shame. I was hoping to see what monsters would be at the lowest level… What are we going to eat-!” Laios eyes widen and he points to Senshi’s head. It had changeling mushrooms growing out of it. The group scrambles away from him. Senshi picks one from the top of his head.

“Check yourselves and put every mushroom you find in the pot. I suppose we will have to make due with this.” he says.

Turned out there were mushrooms growing all over. Inside their bags. Behind their ears. The less than savvy areas the mushrooms were found were burned in the fireplace. Izutsumi rolls on her side inspecting herself in bent poses only a cat-dog beastling can do.

“Gross! Gross! Gross!”, she growls.

Senshi wet down the mushrooms and cut them. He boils the water in a pot, adds dry merman seaweed, salt and the mushrooms. The changeling mushroom miso soup went down good enough, but it was eaten more out of desperation than anything. Laios smiles cheerfully to lighten the situation.

“I should have saved Kensuke for this soup. He could have tasted pretty good with it. I apologize for not stating my intentions sooner.” 

Wanting to clear the air, Chilchuck admits to Laios, “I overstepped my boundaries. I am hired to disable traps and find the quickest, safest passage. Not destroy whatever treasures you find, living or nonliving.” It’s not in my contract to do close combat too unless it's absolutely necessary, but this dungeon dive has had many deviations from the norm. 

“If you did bring that living armor monster back to the surface, what would you have done with it? Have it as a pet?” Marcille smirks.

“Well since everyone thinks living armor is a spell, it would be a huge discovery. I could have put it in a monster scholar laboratory to see how it works and published a paper about it. I’m not good at writing so either you or Farlin would have to proofread and edit.” Laios explains to her. Marcille laughs. 

“The elvin libraries are so huge, I am very confident that living armor monsters are already well documented in their beastaries.”

“I wonder if a dwarf like me can visit this library to see if that’s true?”

You are already addressing yourself as a dwarf… The rest of them thought. 

Laios reads their discomfort and says, “It’s just as well I don’t visit. I like more hands-on work fighting dungeon monsters anyway.” Izutsumi looks down at her bowl full of disapproval. 

“I’m going to find my own food!”, she exclaims as she darts out.

“Izuuuutsuuuumi!” Senshi calls out to her dramatically then sighs. 

“She’ll be back. There’s nothing here.” Chilchuck reassures him. Senshi clears his throat. 

“I have been contemplating our recent stroke of bad luck. I think the dungeon itself has lost interest in us. Dungeons are made to lure people in with whatever wish each individual desires. Did any of you have any desires before becoming a changeling? Has becoming a changeling affected your desire?” Marcille, Laios, and Chilchuck stay silent. “Come now… there must be more to this than merely recovering Falin. Confess!” The beautiful elf Senshi says all this as if he were a terrible actor on a stage. Senshi’s eccentric gestures and tone of voice had been really getting on Chilchuck's nerves. After another moment of uncomfortable silence, Chilchuck speaks up.

“Are you kidding me?! I had no interest in being any taller than I was! I was already paid in advance. All I want is to do my freakin job and go back home to my daughters before they leave me too.” Marcille gasps at the info drop. “Becoming a changeling I don’t even think I can do that. This is all a big inconvenience.” Marcille grabs his shoulder with tears in her eyes. 

“Oh. How can I forget you have a family to go back to!” She sniffs. “Um well I think I do feel different now that I have become a halfling. I can’t do magic anymore or at least anything close to dark magic. Anyway, I was always afraid of my friends and family dying off while I had to live on as a long lived elf, but since halflings have the shortest lifespan I was thinking that maybe I don’t have to worry about it anymore since I would die first.” Laios and Senshi were moved by her words. Chilchuck cringes. He hated it when other races refer to halflings as short lived as if it was some kind of tragedy. 

“I had a desire too.” Laios said confidently. “Being a tallman is boring. I had always wanted to experience being another race or a werewolf or a troll or giant flying beast and have multiple heads…” Everyone’s jaw drops at his confession of wanting to become a monster. Laios blushes and laughs it off. “Since I’m a dwarf I got what I wanted. Now I just need to stop the Mad Mage from controlling my sister. Also… while we are being completely honest… I think Falin looks cool as a chimera. If she wants to stay as she is I wouldn’t mind.”

“Have you lost your mind, Laios?!” Marcille and Chilchuck yell.

“Let him give an explanation.” orders Senshi.

“Once Falin’s mind is back to herself maybe we can use the changeling mushrooms to turn her dragon half into a creature that can live on the surface. Marcille can’t use revive or high level magic as a halfling so if Falin wants to return back to her old body, we will have to find other mages or healers on the surface.”

“Someone you can trust too that won’t turn you into the authorities. Remember Marcille is wanted now for tampering with dark magic. I wouldn’t be surprised if the rest of us will be taken in as accomplices.” Chilchuck notes. Everyone’s mood sours at that prospect. Damn. He’s the worst person in the party for raising morale. “At- at least we know what we’re working with so we can think of a better plan later.” He feels bad he even brought it up.

Settling in for the night, Izutsumi crawls back into their quarters, slurps up the bowl of soup left out for her and rests at the foot of Chilchuck’s rolled out blanket.

“There are black horses out there, but I could not catch them. I hate to admit I need help, but I want you guys to hunt them for me.”

“Horses? That’s… maybe good to hear. Tomorrow Izutsumi. Tomorrow.

The next day. Is it even daytime? The ceilings of the endless stone walls and towers are sealed over. There’s no beginning or end to the labyrinth. The walls morph as soon as it’s out of sight. It was best that everyone stayed together. This was a situation where Chilchuck’s expertise was vital, yet he couldn’t perform to the best of his abilities. His dulled senses couldn’t quite feel the subtle draft indicating a hidden passage nor spot the one brick out of place from a wall indicating a trigger to open a hidden door like he should. 

The mysterious horses were brought up right away. Nobody had seen them. Even with Laios’ ability to see in the dark, he had found no monsters lying in wait in the shadows. He wasn’t even seeing ghosts anymore.

“I didn’t see them. I smelled them. I heard them.” Izutsumi corrects.

“I thought I could hear hooves clattering too,” says Marcille.

“If they are walking that means they are not hippogriffs. But what would these horses graze on here?” wonders Senshi. It seemed like these beasts were incredibly shy if they wouldn’t let themselves be seen. So not very dangerous. The only thing that mattered to the party was how great it would be to eat something that’s not changeling mushrooms. Who knows if eating those things would affect their transformation. It would be quite awful if it was making it last longer or worse permanent.

“Senshi, Izutsumi, and I will keep a lookout for that monster while Chilchuck and Marcille work together to move past this dungeon level.” Laios orders.

“But I wanted to help find that monster too.” Marcille pouts. 

“We can do both.” Chilchuck made an effort to give a more encouraging tone.

Chilchuck felt disappointment in himself that he had to employ Marcille to use her newly heightened senses to try to find a way out of here. He lifts her up and presses her side to the wall so she can listen through. A small orb of light floats over their heads. Marcille can pull off some simple light spells in her halfling form. She wanted to do more such as make another familiar to scout, but everyone had been encouraging her to save her mana. The rest of the party stands by a short distance away to keep lookout for the horse monster.

“What do you hear, Marcille?” Chilchuck asks her.

“Steps here and there. I don’t know… everything sounds like it could be a monster. I hate it…” She shivers and grabs onto his head tightly. He blushes trying not to imagine her like one of his kids.

“Try to guess where it’s coming from.”

He dreads proceeding further into the dungeon. Of the party Marcille and Laios were the power houses. Laios, despite being a weirdo, knew how to deal with almost every creature they encountered. He had training as a prior army grunt. Since entering the dungeon, embracing monster cuisine, and becoming a dwarf he’s losing focus. He doesn’t have the stamina he used to have. Marcille casted all kinds of magic to counter the Mad Mage the dungeon master during their last encounter. They need Marcille as an elf with lots of mana to stand a chance against him. Falin as a chimera dragon would be nearly impossible to defeat too. How long were they down here? He had always told his daughters to have everything cleaned up after three weeks. He would be back any day past three weeks. They must remove any evidence of partying or boys over. They wouldn’t have boys over cause his nosey neighbors would have told him all about it. The three of them were all working adults so it’s unlikely they would have any time to cause too much trouble. It would be so great to be back. He wouldn't care if it was a little messy or if they broke into the liquor cabinet. No. He would care about that. It would also be bad if they decided to take things into their own hands to look for him. The thought of his naive girls leaving the safety of their village to look for him in the shady bars and outposts near the entrance to the dungeon taps away his drive to complete the mission. 

“I hear some voices.” Marcille whispers.

Chilchuck hopes it’s other adventurers. Not likely because no one else seemed to have moved past the large door they had gone through a few days ago. Yet…

“Give me a direction and distance where you heard it from.” Chichuck instructs her. She stands on his shoulders, puts her hands behind her big ears and listens carefully. “I think that way.” She points forward towards a pillar in the distance. Chichuck turns to tell the party to follow them, but they are interrupted by Izutsumi’s excited barking.

“Look there it is! There it is! See it?! See it?!”

A black horse with two large horns between its eyes stare down at them from a flat stone rooftop a hundred feet away. Laios identifies it right away.

“It’s a bicorn!”

Marcille leaps from Chichuck’s shoulders and heads over to them.

“We’re saved! We might not have to eat mushrooms again if we can catch it!”

Those idiots!, Chilchuck thought. He watches as the four of them run to the bicorn weapons raised and the bicorn darts off into the darkness. Undeterred by this setback, they form a huddle while Chilchuck tiredly looks on. Marcille draws something on the ground and whispers to Senshi. Senshi nods. Laios talks on and on about something. The cat-dog girl wags her tail. Hovering over the huddle, Chilchuck couldn’t make out what they were planning.

“Ok it’s settled!” Laios exclaims. Senshi goes into his bags, gets out a rope and hands it to him. Laios gives him the ax.

“Hey where’s your shield?” Laios asks.

“I’ll just give him this for now.” Senshi gives him his mythril pot.

“What? What’s all this?”

“You didn’t hear?” asks Marcille.

Senshi and Laios murmur to each other. 

“Well he is looking kinda aged…”

“I’ll tell you!” Marcille said excitedly. “We are going to use the scorched earth method.” She taps her staff near a heat spell inscription on the ground. “We are going to make a whole lot of these on that side of our prison maze. Senshi is going to activate them. This will smoke the beast out of hiding. Izutsumi will herd it over there.” She gestures her staff to a bottle neck of walls on the other side. Senshi chimes in. 

“Hate to see this happen to such a fine horse, but we are going to have you rope the beast and cut off its head when it comes to you.”

“Once you have it roped. I’ll help you slay it.” said Laios.

“But Senshi I thought you hated unnecessary damage to the dungeon environment.” Chilchuck protests.

“Sometimes we need to blow up a few walls to make an exit.”, Senshi admits. Marcille smiles and giggles manically. 

“Yes. Finally. Senshi, come with me.”

Small strings of smoke emit from Marcille and Senshi’s side of the labyrinth. Smoking the monster out of hiding will take some time. Laios and Chilchuck wait by the bottleneck going out of the stone courtyard with Izutsumi between the two groups. The theory was as long as there are eyes watching, the walls won’t change. A crash came from where Marcille and Senshi were lighting fires.

“Anytime now.” Laios runs away from Chilchuck towards the entrance.

“Hey! Where you going, Laios?” 

“Oh um… it has to do with the nature of bicorns. Bicorns are the opposite of unicorns. Unicorns are pure and can only be approached by virtuous people. Bicorns on the other hand only dishonorable people can-”

“I don’t need your monster encyclopedia answer. Give me the short answer. Why do you want me to do this alone?” Chichuck braces himself for Laios to give a blunt explanation.

“Ever since you became a tallman… you look suspicious.”

“What do you mean?”

Laios dug around in his pockets. “Let me get out my shaving kit. I’ve been having to use it more often since I became a dwarf so I carry it with me. The beard just keeps growing..oh here it is.” Laiosd shows him his mirror. “Look.”

Chilchuck thought he had just become taller and bigger in some places. He didn’t recognise the stubbled middle aged tallman’s face before him. The man looked like one of those loser goons the ores killed at the crooked pub on level three. One word came to mind: troll. He had turned into a troll. The kind he used to tell his girls about to scare them into doing their chores. If he turned up at their front door like this there was no way they would recognize him. Thus the tragedy of becoming a changeling. Chilchuck turns away listless.

“Oh. I see exactly what you mean. I do look like the criminal sort. I’ll be perfect for this role.” He sluggishly moves back into position.

 Laios recognizes that he laid it on him too strong. “I didn’t mean to offend you, Mr. Chilchuck! Tallmen just look more aged than halflings. You don’t look bad..you just look more like a father type than you did..I had some issues with um nevermind. Anyway you said some things and I’m not judging-Oh shit!” The bicorn leaps past him. The dark horse slows into a walk approaching Chilchuck. All of his body’s dulled senses bolt awake. His weariness fades away immediately. He stares down the beast, slowly walking towards it. He holds up the rope that was tied into a slipknot and drops it over the monster’s head. The tallman holds it steady while the beast tries to jerk away.

“You got it!” Laios exclaims. Chilchuck stares blankly at the line and the monster in disbelief.

“Oh damn. I did get it.” The monster bites down on Chilchuck’s arm that was not holding the pot shield. Lucky for him, he was wearing Laios’ arm bracers. Chilchuck didn’t have a weapon ready indicating his inexperience with jobs like this. He struggles and backs off just enough for the rope to slip out of his hands. The lassoed bicorn runs back to the courtyard with Chilchuck chasing after it. Laios follows behind them. From their left off in the distance buildings were collapsing. Pillars of fire burst out from the rubble. Senshi, Marcille, Izutsumi and more bicorns were fleeing the scene with a big cloud of dust coming behind them. 

“I’m never doing magic again!” elf Senshi screams.

Concentrating on his quarry, Chilchuck tries to grab the dragging rope. He almost grabs it until the bicorn leaps up a ten foot wall onto a roof.

“You’re not getting away!” He jumps up, steps on to the protruding rocks, and climbs the wall in a flash. Laios runs up to it, breathing heavily.

“Damn… Mr. Chilchuck.” He looks around for stairs.

At last Chilchuck had the monster cornered. Behind and to the right of the creature was a much higher wall that was several stories. Below was the rest of the party. He takes the ax and throws it. The ax brushes off to the side of the bicorn. He missed. The bicorn lowers its head and paws the dirt with its front hoof. I messed up. The beast springs into a charge at him. He loosens his largest knife out of his side pocket. Holding the knife he attempts to dodge to the side. The horn of the beast punctures his right shoulder. At the same time Chilchuck stabs as hard as he can into the side of the horse’s head. Brains and blood spill out. At the same time, Izutsumi pounces on to its back and bites into the monster’s neck. The monster collapses to its side, letting Chilchuck’s shoulder go. From the ground it kicks wildly until a moment later Laios steps in and finishes it by piercing its heart with his sword. The kobold beastling howls. Marcille and Senshi cheer. Laios wipes the blood off his blade and sheaths it. He goes right up to Chilchuck and embraces him. Being a lot shorter, Laios stood on the dead bicorn. Chilchuck his heart still racing, cheerfully raises his fists in the air, jumps and laughs with him.

“You were absolutely crazy! I knew you could fight monsters if you wanted to!” Laios yells.

“Of course I can! It was a piece of cake!”

It didn’t feel like him at all to be this hyped up. As a halfling his senses were at peak all the time except when he was drunk or asleep. It's probably why I’m so stressed out all the time. These lows and highs as a tallman… it actually feels really good. Maybe that’s part of why Laios acts like such a happy buffoon.

“Laios! Izutsumi! You got to get Chilchuck down here at once!” Marcille yells.

Chilchuck sees blood rushing down his arm. He reaches to his neck. The horn must have severed a few important arteries. That’s strange. I didn’t even feel any pain. He falls over dead.

Chilchuck gasps and sits up. Laios holds up tiny Marcille as her head sinks. They are inside an enclosure. Senshi already had meat cooking over the fire.

“She insisted she revive you. You died.” Laios recounts.

“Marcille..”

“The colors duke… the colors…” she murmurs to herself.

“Senshi made sure she ate before she used that spell, but it still took a lot out of her. It looks like she has a bad case of mana sickness. She’s most likely completely tapped out of mana too.” Laios explains. Chilchuck holds his head and groans. He watches Laios lay her over blankets. I shouldn’t have brought that on you, Marcille, he thought

“So I have as much luck dealing with other monsters as mimics.” Mimics which hide in treasure chests are the only monsters he as a locksmith is required to engage with as per contract. They have killed him many times. Now all monsters are like mimics… He imagined many different creatures before him turning into crabs. Senshi puts down a strange plate of stringy meat before Isumi, Laios and Chilchuck.

“I made sfilacci and I am going to try to make as much of the leftovers into bresaola.”

They all look at the hair like meat. What’s with the fanciness? Why can’t we just have BBQ?

Izutsumi asks, “What are these words? Oh well it smells good and meaty.” She gobbles it up. Chilchuck nibbles away at it, hiding the fact that he’s very hungry. Laios eats the hair meatball in one bite. The blonde dwarf looks like he wants to complain, but doesn’t. Senshi whittles away cutting up tiny pieces of the bicorn’s leg, making meticulous micro cuts. We are in a dungeon. Not a five star restaurant.

“Senshi, your food prep doesn’t need to..” Chilchuck tried to say. Senshi turns around in slow motion, his long black curls flowing, roses bloom in the air all around him, his eyelashes fluttering.

“You have a critique of my cooking?”

Chilchuck and Laios are stunned. Izutsumi bluntly interrupts, “Had becoming an elf made you lose common sense? I want steak!”

“I didn’t lose anything. I am just the same as I was.”

Izutsumi narrows her eyes at him. “Pretty Senshi, you just do your thing. Manly Chilchuck and you too Fat Laios, let’s make something ourselves too. I know you want the good parts.” Senshi frowns and keeps working.

The three of them move out of the enclosure to build a bigger campfire. It turned out that there wasn’t only one bicorn killed, but five more from the fire explosive magic. All that running around, fighting, and dying proved to be useless, Chilchuck concluded. Chilchuck helps Laios and Izutsumi carry one of the burnt up dead bodies to the campfire. As Chilchuck got the fire going the two butchered the carcass they brought over. 

“Magic is so overpowered. There was no point in having me involved.”

Laios gave him an encouraging smile. “We didn’t know Senshi was going to be that effective with magic. If anything we were using them to scare the bicorns your way. We did find out one thing.”

“And that was?”

“You don’t have loose morals. The bicorn still attacked you.” Chichuck sighs and rolls his eyes. “I know Marcille would want to pry into that more, but I will leave it there.”

Thank god. Perhaps Laios is maturing a bit. They set up the grill and put as many steaks on there as they could. As it cooks, Chilchuck’s mind wanders back into his bad habit of rumination. Senshi must be very upset that 1: he was coaxed into using magic, 2: we killed way more monsters than we had to and 3: more than half of us are making our own meal. Marcille too is in rough shape. 

The first round of steaks are done and Laios passes a big one to everyone’s plates. Izutsumi brows on it to cool it down before taking a bite. Chilchuck tries his and it tastes amazing probably because he was starved. Being revived takes a lot of vigor out of you. How could he convince Laios to have everyone return to the surface? He remembered the orc girl Leed’s advice to just be honest, yet he also didn’t want to plead with Laios overly emotional like that last time. Finally he said, “I feel bad for Marcille.”

“I know. I know.” Laios admits. “We are not going to be able to proceed without a confident magic user. Marcille is the best we have.”

“Admit it, we all aren’t at our best in these forms.”

“Not entirely. I did chop down on that horse real good.” Izutsumi smiles and ravishes into another steak.

“Yeah! You did do good! Who’s a good girl!?” Laios reaches to pat her head. She draws back.

“Noooo. No!” she barks back at him. Marcille weakly wanders out of the enclosure to them followed by Senshi.

“Come on! Join us!” Laios calls out to them. They gather around and Laios gives them a steak. Marcille quietly eats with tired eyes. Senshi refused their offering and just wanted to help.

And my conversation is derailed again. Chichuck takes another steak. He eats a few more while Senshi talks about the best ways to cook meat.

“You know I don’t understand why I didn’t think to just make jerky out of all this. Why did that fail to come to my mind? I don’t know. Perhaps because of the lack of salt?” As he ate and time went on Chichuck’s mood improved and he forgot about what he was so worried about. The effect of the food maybe? He probably ate the most in this one sitting than he had ever had for a meal in his entire life.

“Soooo I didn’t think you did too bad out there. You liked fighting monsters didn’t you?” Laios poked Chilchuck’s shoulder with a fork. Laios face gets covered by Chilchuck’s hand pushing him away. Chilchuck turns his head away from the group, hiding his grin.

“Maybe I did feel a bit of a thrill in it… I blame becoming a tallman or your insanity rubbing off on me. I think my luck with fighting general monsters will be as good as fighting mimics. I will probably die everytime.” They both laugh together as if they’re drunk. Marcille gives a concerned look and she speaks up to Senshi. 

“I might have been too pushy making you use magic… we were too reckless.”

Senshi gazes down at her and nods. In a moment Marcille’s ears perk up and she sees a small familiar fly through the air over them.

“Hey everybody watch out above you!” They all see it. The familiar looked like a glowing bird. “It’s the Canaries. They’re here!” Marcille puts out the fire. She opens her book and flashes through the pages. “Everyone stay together. I’m going to put a camouflage barrier over us so they won’t see us.” 

“Wait! Don’t-” Chilchuck cries out. Marcille holds her staff and casts the incantation from the book, stops in mid sentence and falls. Chilchuck catches her. The spell failed. Her body’s not tuned enough in magic to cast high level spells. Especially in the state she was already in. The walls change and a stairwell appears beside their encampment. A party of seven descend the staircase to them. Everyone stands up ready to defend themselves. The only weapons Senshi and Izutsumi had were knives and forks. Laios, the only one with his sword on hand, gets between the two parties. Chichuck holding Marcille in his arms sizes up the arrivals. The new group of seven only consisted of elves in advanced looking gear and armor. The elves walk up to them. Actually on closer inspection one of the men is a tallman.

“Well well. Hello dungeon adventurers. Please put your sword down, dwarf.  The rest of you put your… utensils down. We are merely a dungeon investigation unit.”, an elf with long blonde hair similar in appearance to Marcille orders. They do just that. Another elf with tattoos all over his body circles them.

“I don’t see the blonde elf mage. This party is completely different than the one described.”

Chilchuck came to the realization that with their bodies transformed by the changelings, they are perfectly disguised from their wanted physical profiles Kabru’s or Shiro’s party gave them.

“Are you the only party that made it this far? Have you seen any others?”, the tan elf woman asks them. Laios and Senshi shake their heads. “I mean have you encountered a party of five that has an elf female with blonde hair?”

An awkward silence. Chilchuck watches them with increased anxiety. 

Come on you two, say something. Senshi adverts their gaze and taps at Marcille’s staff with his foot. Senshi was supposed to deal with elves now that he is one. Laios is supposed to be the leader. In this moment of need they are both dead silent. From experience working with Laios, he often hesitates when speaking with people he doesn’t know. He will probably blow their cover. Chilchuck couldn’t allow that to happen.

“We’ve been trapped here by ourselves for months.” Chilchuck speaks out. Everyone in the other party turned their attention to him. Pressure’s on. “I’m Corkus and this is my daughter Neese.” The elves seemed satisfied with that response.

“That explains everything. We are also here to evacuate all adventurers from the dungeon and neutralize the dungeon lord. Would you like assistance getting to the surface?”, the blonde elf girl offers. The elves stare at the tallman waiting for an answer believing him to be the leader.

Chilchuck wanted to scream yes, but- He turns around to his party.

“What do you think? This could be our only way out of here.” Please everyone…

“Oh my head..” Marcille groans and sits up in his arms. He puts her tiny hand on his cheek. “I’m tired papa. Let’s go home.” She plays the part really well. Everyone followed suit.

“Yeah I think we went as far as we could.” It seems Laios would go with whatever Marcille wants.

“It would be nice to restock on spices.” Senshi says. Izutsumi nods with them.

“Thank you. We would like your help.” Chilchuck answers them pretending to be the party leader.

“I like it when they can be reasoned with. I’ll prepare a spell to get you all to the surface.” A dark skinned young elf in steel armor steps forward.

“Hold it. Before you let them go, I want to ask these adventurers a few questions.” The young man glares up at Chilchuck. The blue eyes look really familiar. “You know, Corkus, your gear and clothing of your party appear to be just like Laios’ party’s clothing and gear. For instance, that green circle scarf looks exactly like it belongs to a halfling in Laios’ party. ” Chilchuck suddenly recognized him. It’s Kabru. It’s fucking Kabru and he knows I’m lying through my teeth. How he disguised himself as an elf and got into the Canaries’ party is anyone’s guess.

“Um..we all shop at the same stores on the first floor?”

“Allow me to go through your gear and make sure it wasn’t stolen.” 

The gig is up. We have our initials on everything. Marcille has her full name on all her gear. A messy haired elf girl interrupts them. 

“Oh my gosh! Doesn’t this guy…” 

The other elves drop listening to Kabru’s conversation and show interest in Senshi. Senshi pulls back his hair and lets it flow in the breeze that’s coming from nowhere.

“Yes! The resemblance is uncanny!” A female elf with short hair yells.

“Whatever do you mean?” Senshi asks shyly.

“I mean you’re that guy from the The Daltian Clan novels. What’s his name…? the one with the eyepatch on a horse..”

“The character’s name is Forva and he’s the one with black hair. The one with the eyepatch is actually General Hareus.” Marcille corrects them in a dreamy whisper. 

“Oooooh!” Everyone of the elven’s party except for the tallman and Kabru exclaim with delight.

“Yeah! That!” nods the elf with the messy hair.

“Aww it’s so cute that the little ones are getting into our popular literature.” The blonde elf sighs. She completes her spell and reveals a large door portal to the Chilchuck and his companions. “All done here. Just step on through.” 

“But-” Kabru protests. The tan female elf addresses the only tallman in their party.

“Captain, do we need to waste our time questioning these guys anymore?”

He responds with a firm “No.” Chilchuck thought it very strange that a tallman would be a party leader to elves from the North Central Continent. I know it’s a stereotype for tallman males to be party leaders, but this is ridiculous.

Laios’ party gather by the portal. It all unravels when Marcille fully wakes up.

“Where are we going?”

Chilchuck whispers “Out of the dungeon.”

She gasps and squirms out of his arms.

“No, we can’t go. What about Falin?” she says to her party with tears in her eyes.

“Everyone should go, including you. I’ll stay and find her myself.” Laios assures her. Frustrated that all his efforts were about to go nowhere, Chilchuck grabs both of them by their shirtsleeves.

“Absolutely not! You are both going back with us right now!”

“Hey, I still need to find that Dungeon Master to undo my curse!” yells Izutsumi.

“You think it would hurt if I go through that portal?” Senshi whimpers. Chilchuck loses his temper. 

“What the hell is wrong with you all?!” They proceed to argue. Kabru puts his palm to his face.

“People. We got company.” The messy haired elf uses her familiars to widely illuminate the area. The dead bicorns that they didn’t eat, rose up. Headless men in black armor emerge and mount the beasts. One of them rides closer holding a giant sword, the tip of it scraping across the dungeon floor. The Captain uses a spell that makes two of them split in half from the waist. The headless men turn into black smoke and reappear fully intact.

“Phantoms.” The tallman grits his teeth, heavy sweat appearing on his brow.

“What are you waiting for?” The messy haired elf pushes Senshi into the portal. The cat-kobold follows him. More mounted headless black knights come out of the shadows surrounding them. Chilchuck kneels down and meets Laios and Marcille’s eyes.

“Pleeease go.” he pleads, feeling exhausted.

“Yes. We are going. Come on.” Laios puts his arm around Marcille and directs her toward the door. “I’m sorry, but Dunahan are really bad to go up against.” He shouts out to the Canary party. “The rest of you should return too!” Laios and Marcille disappear into the portal. Chilchuck leaves the elves behind, but just before he entered the portal he heard one of them say. 

“We should retreat too. Captain stepped through a changeling ring and it's negatively affecting his mana use.”

They return to the inside of the governor’s residence. The room was within the town hall section. Laios held his mouth and immediately ran for the exit to throw up. Transportation sickness is the worst for dwarfs. Curious what the elves said about the Captain, Chilchuck waits for the other party to make it through the portal. He notices that Laios and Marcille have already left the building.

“Oh you’re still here.” said the blonde magic-using elf. “You can go now.”

“You said something about the Captain experiencing going through a changeling ring?”

“Yes, a couple members of our party had undergone an inconvenient transformation.” Senshi and Izutsumi grab Chilchuck’s arms and start moving him to the exit. He had to get more information. Anything better than going with the knowledge of changelings from his homeland.

“Is there a cure?”

“Yeah. It’s easy. Just practice good hygiene. Once Captain and our tallman guide have washed off the spores, they should be back in shape in less than twelve hours. It’s really stubborn the longer it isn’t treated. Once the fungus settles into your nails, you're screwed.”

Chilchuck’s color drains out of his face as he hears her warning. Senshi and Izutsumi lead him to the door out of there. Kabru happily waves to them.

“Goodbye. Maybe I’ll meet you at the bathhouse later.”

To everyone’s surprise it was a sunny early afternoon at the surface. The dungeon was in the process of being evacuated and it showed. There were people of all races everywhere. Many figured the days of looting the dungeon were over and were in the process of packing up. Temporary shops were set up with signs saying “One day only sale!”, “Last Chance before we relocate.” and “Everything must go.” If this were different circumstances some shopping would have been in order, but removing the fungal spores is a priority. They head for Laios’ apartment, the only place they have to go to in town since Senshi lives in the dungeon, Izutsumi came from overseas, and Chilchuck’s home is several miles away. Laios’ apartment key was lost with his gear in the dungeon so Chilchuck had to lockpick his way in while the rest stood around him looking very suspicious. Once inside he reminded everyone that they all must wash off those spores. Once inside Laios gathered whatever soaps he could find and a washtub. He had to use a broomstick to get a box of shampoos from Falin’s closet for Marcille. Chilchuck pushed for them to wash out back instead of the bathhouse, because it would be crowded due to the dungeon evacuation. He also didn’t want to run into Kabru, the captain, or Shiro’s group if they are still on the island. He dreaded the scenario in which Laios tells Shiro that they failed and the samurai decides to cut off Laios head or hunt down Falin to put her out of her misery.

He could not help, but feel astounded that the interior of the apartment was just like the insides of the buildings in his hometown. Everything is normal sized. Actually he now had to watch his head going through doors. It will be a relief to be short again. Chilchuck walks into Falin’s side of the apartment to find Marcille on Falin’s bed crying. Izutsumi was sitting beside her providing comfort. He turns around and heads back before they notice his presence. Laios and Senshi had everything ready. 

“We will wash first outside and bring fresh water to the girls so they can bathe privately.” Senshi suggests. 

“Sounds like a plan.” Chilchuck responds.

Monsters sometimes do appear outside of the dungeon. Changelings were one of them. It was thought that the fairies would replace human children with one of their own to play a cruel joke. It was said that changelings were a problem in his hometown many years ago. The way the halfling community dealt with changelings was throwing them in a burn pit. Any mushroom fairy circles found were burned. Yep fire was the solution. Good thing the real way to turn back to himself was simply washing off the mushroom spores. They went up a nearby stream and got water. Chilchuck anticipated that Senshi and Laios wouldn’t want to bathe. Senshi because he rarely bathed as a dwarf and Laios because he wants to remain a changeling dwarf. To his surprise, they both comply without any hesitation. They wash their gear and clothes too. That included Laios’ transformed sword. Chilchuck walks into a pond the creek was feeding. Wouldn’t you want to remain changed? Tiny black specks swim up to his legs making him step back out. They’re just tadpoles. Normal animals. The dangers of the dungeon have made him skittish. He jumps in, plunges himself in the water and scrubs hard. Laios once again lends him some of his fresh clothes that would fit a tallman. Laios squeezes into one of his own shirts the best he could and rolls up his sleeves. Finally Senshi boils the water and fills it for the girls. Chilchuck wanted to wash up so bad that he didn’t care about water temperature. The girls on the other hand… Well they wanted it to be nice for them. The process takes time so Chilchuck asks Laios to borrow his shaving kit. Laios and Senshi both tease him offering to tell him how to use it. Away from them with a bit of a learning curve, Chilchuck shaves his beard off revealing a warped troll version of his old face. He could already feel that the hair would grow back in hours. How could Laios do this everyday? He returned to Senshi and Laios to see them in deep conversation. They stop as soon as they see him. What were they talking about?, he wondered. 

“The water is ready for them. We’ll just take it up to the apartment.”, Senshi says.

“You mean Laios and I.” Chilchuck responds knowing well that elf Senshi can’t lift. Carrying the washtub up with Laios, Chilchuck smells a flowery perfume from the water. “What is this?”

“You know… Marcille likes it fancy.” Chilchuck’s instincts sense a scheme, but decides not to push it. They bring the water over to Falin’s room. Only Marcille remained on the bed.

“Where’s Izutsumi?” Laios asks.

“Oh she got tired of waiting and took off. She told me she would clean off the spores on her own.” Marcille answers.

“It can’t be helped.” Senshi admits.

The three of them wait seated in Laios’ side of the apartment while Marcille washes herself in Falin’s room. Marcille calls over to them.

“So once we are back in our normal bodies, we will go down again?” The three grimace at the prospect of telling her bad news. Chilchuck was about to say something then Laios spoke up.

“The dungeon is being sealed away. The Canaries will enter in a couple days and defeat the Mad Mage.” He pauses. “I don’t know what will become of Falin.”

“What will we do? What can we do?” A long silence fell upon them.

“We should go to the pub tonight.” Chilchuck finally suggests. Everyone else was taken aback.

“Chilchuck really? Really!?” Marcille screams over to them.

He defends his proposal. “That’s what we always do after we return to the surface. It’s tradition.”

“We can’t go out and party at a time like this?! What if you turn back into a halfling in Laios’ clothing over there?”

“I’ll be so happy I’ll dance on the table naked. I’ll be so drunk, I won’t care.”

“Chilchuck, you’re an idiot!”

“Going to the pub doesn’t sound too bad to me.” Laios admits. Senshi agrees.

“You guys are so insensitive!”

“I thought you loved the food there.” Laios said. Chilchuck could hear splashing and grumbling from her side.

“Hurry and finish up, Marcille. There’s gonna be a big crowd tonight. We need to get there early to get good seats.”

“Come over here. I need help with something.” Chilchuck glances over to Laios and Senshi sitting in the corner looking a bit scared. He sighs, stands up and walks over to the entrance. A fully clothed Marcille drops a bucket of water on his head from above. She laughs and surries away.

“You little gremlin!” He yells as he chases after her.

To be continued... (1 of 3)

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3761

i changed my phone background today while helping my mom finish up the quilt top.

jayvik ruined my life, so now i can curse at them every time i open my phone.

edit: the source is fanart! by @net-prophet here on tumblr who is also @/togatapunch on twitter. i have reblogged the original and removed it from this post.

anyway.

mom and i eventually went out today, but it was legitimately so cold that i wore a jacket out of the house, along with long socks, boots, pants, and a long sleeve shirt. and i was comfy. damn.

i love when it's blustery.

but also the lighting of the sky this afternoon, the wind and the clouds and all of it had a sort of liminal feeling to it that i can't really place. because we live in the northeast us, the days are fairly short now, which means that even going out at 3pm means the sun is far lower in the sky than it should be. it's beautiful, really. this is my favorite time of year.

we stopped for food and snacks and stuff to make us less cold. really we just needed to move the car from its resting spot on the new driveway pavement - what nobody tells you about getting a new paved driveway is that you can't park in the same space for more than 24 hours for six months, AND you shouldn't try to turn your tires while still. it's wild.

coming home we figured out food for thanksgiving and then went directly to making dinner. shepherd's pie. one of my FAVORITE things. so i'm excited to have leftovers. it's one of like two or three things i'll eat leftovers of, of a dish that was fully assembled before it was refrigerated. tacos are something that needs to be assembled, so are tuna and chicken salads. pasta salad can be eaten right out of the bowl in the fridge because it's supposed to be cold, so things like that don't really count since they're different.

anyway.

dinner was delicious. after dinner mom and i watched a few episodes of ncis since we haven't found another or different show to watch.

all day, in the meantime, i've been scrolling through twitter or talking to my sister and yelling about arcane.

i yell.

i got to talk to leo a little bit this evening. i talked to joel earlier. tomorrow i'll get to see joel after work. leo i will see next weekend.

i'm so tired.

[frogofalltime]

08.02.2024

today i missed my morning lecture because it was supposed to be 10-11am but my 8am alarm didn't go off and i woke up at almost 11 lol

i got up and looked out of my window and it was snowing !!!!! and it just continued to get heavier as i ate breakfast and got ready for class !!!!!!

i realised i was running slightly behind, normally i would've been fine but it takes a lot longer to walk in the snow, and i kept slipping and falling all the way to class, so i ended up being a bit late.

after the lecture me and @etherealspacejelly slid our way up the road, robin had to go to another class (sad times) and i went to the park to enjoy the snow.

i saw our pigeons shivering in the cold and the ducks were fighting with them to get some food. i ran around in the deep snow and got my shoes and trousers all wet.

then i slid down the hill to my friends' house. we played in the snow for a while but our hands got too cold and we went inside. i ate snacks and drank some hot water to warm up.

one of our friends chased us around the house with a horrible monkey stress toy that their siblings gave them for christmas and i genuinely thought it was going to explode and cover the house with flour but somehow it remained intact despite all the abuse it was being put through.

then we went to our last class of the day. it was a very boring lecture about bioinformatics that didn't seem to be very useful. i sat next to robin and we messed around drawing silly things on his notepad and laughing too much. luckily we were at the back of an enormous lecture hall so the professor did not notice our behaviour.

when that was finally over, my friend who was also in the same lecture met me to go to a place where you can build lego sets, and we walked through the snow to get there. i hadn't seen this friend since before christmas so it was fun to catch up and hear about how T gel is going for him (he said it's going well, and i noticed his voice is a lot lower, which is really awesome) !!

i was completely drenched with cold water by the time we arrived but it was nice and cosy indoors and i built a lego shark. i also made a small hammerhead shark using leftover pieces, i didn't use instructions for it so i'm actually pretty impressed with how it turned out :D

i took my antidepressant meds and immediately started feeling weird. i've been getting a lot of tension headaches in the evenings since i started the adhd meds, even though i stopped taking them, idk why my antidepressants are affecting me like this, but my hypothesis is that they stopped working properly because of the interaction with the stimulants and now they are starting to work again which is causing my body to have to readjust ??

then we walked home and got soaked again. it was raining now so the snow was all melting and my feet were so so so cold. when i got back to my student accommodation i built a tiny snowman which made my fingers numb, collected my laundry that i had forgotten about in the dryer for 24 hours, and took a hot shower to warm myself up.

finally i ate dinner. my appetite is immense lately; i had twice as much as i normally eat and i didn't even feel uncomfortably full. i guess it's because i didn't eat properly last week so my body is making up for it.

i finished my reread of percy jackson and the lightning thief and wasted time on my phone for a while. then robin encouraged me to wash my dishes and i finally went to bed just before midnight.

it took me a while to get to sleep because of the tension headache which was making my eyes hurt. i hope this goes away soon. also it was very cold and the dripping noises from the snow melting outside were driving me insane. but other than that i had a really good day and i'm very happy !!!

[bleach-your-panties]

toji, the dick-slinging slasher 🍆💦 🔪❗️- toji fushiguro x fem reader 

🍔: first jjk fic EVER and it's crack lmao.

🍔: this was too good for me not to write

🔪: prompts from the wheel of misfortune, i can't help myself

🔪: includes horror prompt from beyond the grave & kink prompts sir kink, clothed sex, filming/recording, food play, & size kink 

🔪tagging: @bastardblvd, please don't kick me out of town for this mess of a fic 🤣😭

🍟:4.0k words

🍟:warnings: crack, slightly dubcon, non-penetrative sex?, cursing, dirty talk, spitting, age-gap (reader is early 20's, Toji is..undead) & spongebob dialogue. reader is squidward, basically.

🍟: this is not to be taken seriously! mcdonalds!manager!aki and denji from grimetown make appearances.

🍟: loosely based on my experience working in fast food.

🍟: banner made by me on pic collage

🍟: dividers by @/firefly-graphics

"Finally. 10 pm." You let out a deep sigh of exhaustion.

You had just finished mopping the entire lobby over again after a group of late-night stragglers  had came in and ordered twenty McDoubles, extra pickles. What a strange order.

One of them even tried to get into a verbal altercation with you because he claimed that his sandwiches had no pickles and accused you of not giving him any. 

You don't even work the fucking line; you're a cashier, for Christ's sake, even if you’re in the process of being cross-trained.

After dumping the dark, murky mop water outside the front door, you began to roll the bucket back to its designated area in the back of house.

Back there, Denji, your manager's weird associate, was picking at the leftover food from the dinner rush like a scavenging raccoon.

"You're not supposed to be back here." You gave him a deadpan look. 

"You're not supposed to be back here," He mocked you, "Fuck that, I'm starving." 

"Then go home and make something to eat?" 

"Nah, this'll do." He unwrapped a McChicken that had probably been sitting there since lunchtime.

"You're about to have diarrhea out of this world." 

He just shrugged.

You went on about your business with your other little housekeeping duties then took off your headset and nametag once you were done.

God, I hate this job.

You'd just finished university a week ago and upon your rejection of your dream graduate school, you ended up having to move back to Grimetown and live with your parents.

Your old-fashioned parents who don't believe in their grown children moving back home unless they have a job.

So here you are. Working at Mcdonald's with a fresh bachelor's degree under your belt.

"I'm going home. Later, Dingy." You pulled on your coat and grabbed your purse.

"Alright, and it's Denji." 

"That's what I said, 'innit? Peace out."

Denji rolled his eyes at you just as Aki came out of the office. "Hold your horses, Y/N. Where do you think you're going?"

You froze, hand poised to open the door.

"Uh, home? It's almost ten-thirty." 

Aki pulled a cigarette from under his hat, turned one of the grills on to light it, and then stuck it between his thin lips.

"No, you're not. I've decided that I'm going to keep the store open 24 hours now. More money for me-I mean you. Money for you."

You gave him an incredulous look and removed your hand from the door handle. 

"What?! This place is a shithole, it's not built to run 24 hours!" 

As you said this, the lights started flickering.

"See!"

"Denji, stop that!" 

"Sorry."

Aki looked about ready to give up on life but he shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. 

"Anyway, here's the keys. You'll switch out with the morning shift at 6 am. Have fun. Don't burn the place down, no matter how tempting it may be."

You didn't know what to do, so you just stood there with your mouth open.

"I can't believe this shit! You can't just leave me here by myself all night!" Snapping out of your little trance, you followed after the dark-haired man.

Aki turned his body halfway to meet your gaze, half-smoked cigarette still between his lips.

“You won’t be by yourself. Denji is here with you.” As if that was supposed to put you at ease.

“What? You can’t leave me here with him; he doesn’t even work here!”

Denji hopped down from the counter and strutted over to the two of you, chest poked out.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head, Y/N. I’ll take good care of you~” He then smirked as his eyes trailed over your body in your too-tight uniform shirt and pants.

You swear that bastard Aki purposefully ordered your garments two sizes too small, causing you to have to literally squeeze your assets into the God-forsaken red shirt and black pants every other day.

"You stay away from me." You pointed an acrylic fingernail at Denji without taking your eyes off of Aki.

"No way you can leave me here with Dumbass all night."

"It's Denji."

"That's what I said."

"Oh, but I can. You stay or you're fired. Simple as that. See you later!" He attempted to give you both a half-hearted wave, but you grabbed the sleeve of his jacket. 

"Where are you going?" 

Aki looked at you befuddled - are you actually whining?

He gently brushed you off of him and removed the cigarette from between his lips. 

“I’m going home - where else? I have a life.”

"I have a life, too, ya know!" 

Denji snickered. "How can you? You live with your parents."

“You shut up! No one asked you!” You retorted before sulking off to the back again.

_____

Toji didn’t know how to feel after he was killed by Gojo.

He thought that he’d at least go straight to hell, but apparently, that didn’t happen. Now here he was, in the middle of some…weird ass town in a shitty graveyard where the tombstones were poorly maintained. Damn, did anyone in this piece of shit town even tend to their dearly departed?

“This shit sucks…” Toji complained as he pulled himself out of a shallow grave that someone must have dug and threw him in unceremoniously. After brushing the dirt off his broad shoulders with his one good hand (only hand), he stretched it above his head and yawned.

The town ahead of him was dark, with only a few lights on of some apartment buildings, houses, and businesses that were crazy enough to run their power bills up by staying open all damn night long.

Like one certain McDonald’s….

_____

“Hey, Y/N, look at me! I’m uploading thirst traps to my Instagram story…at night.” Denji winked at you and clicked his tongue, waving his iPhone in his hand.“When else would you upload them, Dumbfuck?” You replied blandly as you lazily flipped through a magazine.”Whoever is thirsting over you is clearly blind or just desperate.” You added.

“Oh, that’s harsh.” He frowned. The two of you were just sitting around, bored out of your minds. No customers had entered the store since Aki left forty-five minutes ago.

Denji paraded around the table you were sitting at, chanting about different tasks that he was doing on his phone…at night.

Then suddenly…

Silence.

“Hey, Y/N, wanna hear a scary story?”

Silence over.

“No, but I know that you’re going to tell me anyway, so let’s hear it.” You rolled your eyes and closed the magazine, now giving the blonde your full attention.

"Okay, so-"

The bell over the door rang and in walked a customer, whistling happily.

"Good evening! I'd like to make an order!"

Both you and Denji stared at him for a long while until you finally decided to peel yourself out of the red leather booth and head to the cash register.

"What can I get for you tonight, sir?" 

"One Big Mac Meal, please, extra onions on that. Oh, are the fries fresh?" 

You looked behind him at the clock on the wall: 11:25 pm.

"No," You stated dryly, "will that be all for you?" 

The man gulped nervously at your lackluster expression and less-than-enthused tone and nodded.

"$8.35."

____

After the customer was situated at a table and munching his food happily, Denji continued with his story.

“As I was saying. The legend of Toji, the Dick-Slinging Slasher.”

You had to hold back from spitting some of your orange Hi-C right into his ridiculous face.

“I’m sorry, did you say ‘dick-slinging?!”

“That’s what I said, yeah.” Denji nodded, not phased by your outburst. 

“Legend has it, that on dark, cloudy nights, much like this one, he stalks the neighborhood looking for unsuspecting bitches to rob.”

“Okay, and that’s scary, because? Sounds like an average day in Grimetown.” You snorted.

"Be serious for one second, Y/N!" He slapped his palms down on your table.

Who is he to tell someone to be serious?

"Alright, alright, I'm listening."

Denji continued, "In his past life, he was a nothing-ass-bitch and deadbeat father who went around stealing from people or assassinating them for money." 

"He got killed by this super overpowered albino that he failed to assassinate and then after that, no one knows what happened to him. I heard that some teens from Grimetown High threw his ass in a ditch as a dare and that's where he's buried to this day."

You couldn't help but bust out laughing; this was the dumbest story that you'd ever heard!

"Denji…I'm still failing to see how this story is supposed to be scary…" 

"Well, when the albino killed him, he mutilated the entire left side of Toji's body, leaving a big ass gaping hole and Toji with only one arm. That doesn't stop him from slinging his community dick to all the unsuspecting bad bitches, though."  

'Okay, this is idiotic. I'm checking out.' You shook your head and got up with your cup, dumping the leftover ice down the drink fountain’s drain.

“Heed my warnings, Y/N! When the clock strikes midnight, he’ll come for you! Guard your booty!” Denji wiggled his fingers and made moaning noises that sounded more…pornographic than ghostly.

“Yeah, alright. I’m going to dust the drive-thru windows.”

____

12:00 AM, Midnight

So those clouds turned out to be storm clouds full of rain that was soon pounding down onto the miserable roof of your little establishment. The roof was leaking in a few places because Aki was too lazy to call the contractors to come and look at it.

“I swear, what is he even good for besides secondhand smoke and micromanaging everybody?” You groaned, placing yet another bucket under a leaking spot.

A loud crack of thunder sounded, and then everything went black.

“Denji!”

“It wasn’t me that time!” 

A few seconds later, said blonde came from the back carrying a heavy-duty flashlight.

“The power’s out. I tried tripping the breaker but got nothing.” 

“Isn’t there a backup generator here?” You asked and he just shrugged.

“Don’t ask me; I don’t work here.”

With a loud groan, you went to grab your cell phone out of your bag to call Aki.

No signal.

“Oh, you’re fucking kidding.”

You replaced the rectangular device inside your bag and retreated to the lobby where Denji was.

The thunder roared louder and the rain pattered harder against the roof and the glass windows.

“Hey Y/N?”

“What, Denji?” 

“This is kind of like the story, right? The perfect setting for Toji to show up.” You scoffed.

“Denji, that was just a stupid story. It’s not true at all! No one could survive with half of their body blasted away!!” You were just about at your wit’s end now, when the customer with the Big Mac came to the counter to ask you for ketchup.

“You’re still here?” Denji asked and the guy just looked at him. After he got his condiments, he packed up the rest of his meal and left, probably to get home and out of the rain.

The next few moments were spent in silence with the two of you trying to figure out how to get the power back up and running.

While Denji was in the back where the breaker box was, you were searching underneath the countertops for some sort of panic button or something.

CRASH!

Either Denji fell or a tree came down outside. You hoped it was the former, honestly.

Tap tap tap tap tap.

“Denji?! Is that you? Did you fall?” You whisper-shouted. You shined the flashlight on your phone to the back, trying to locate him.

“Fall?” 

Tap tap tap tap tap.

The lights began to flicker again and you jumped once you saw Denji suddenly standing beside you.

“Don’t do that! You almost scared me half to death, you dummy!”

“Sorry. Hey, what’s that tapping sound I keep hearing?” 

“Y-you mean…you weren’t doing that?”

SCREEEEEECHHHH!

Lightning flashed at the same time that the lights flickered back on.

At the front door, the tall outline of a burly man was standing there. His wet, dark hair splayed across his forehead and his eyes glowed a menacing red.

“IT’S T-THE D-D-...!” 

Denji’s body seized up as the man put his hand on the door and pushed it open, letting the pounding rain slosh and slide across the tiled floor. His slippered feet stomped through the puddles of water that were forming as he stalked his way toward the both of you. The little squish squish of his shoes through the water must’ve snapped Denji out of his little trance. He then looked at you as if realizing you were still there and in this predicament with him.

“Oh Y/N…I’m so honored that you went to all this trouble dressing up and using my own story to try and scare me! I knew that you liked me!” He chuckled, trying to convince himself that what he was seeing couldn’t be real.

Your mouth gaped open as you could only stare at the huge man coming towards you both now. Up close, he’s quite a looker. Deep, blue eyes, a cocky smirk set upon those handsome features, and a long, diamond-shaped scar at the corner of his mouth.

“Denji…there’s only two problems with your theory, there. I barely fucking know you, so how could I like you, and how could that be me when I’m standing right fucking here?!” You screamed at the idiotic blonde.

“Ah, what a noisy couple the two of you are. Making my fucking head spin.” Toji continued walking until he was right up on you. You had to crane your neck back to look up at his face. He looked right back down into your surprised one.

“You’re a cute one. Judging by that tight-ass uniform, I’m assuming that you work here?”

“Y/N, RUN! IT’S TOJI THE DICK-SLINGING SLASHER!”

Yeah, I think it’s a little too late for that now, don’t you think, Denji?

“Is that what I’m being called now? How lame.” Toji chuckled and before you could blink he kicked Denji into the wall.

“H-hey! Leave him alone, you one-armed prick!” You argued with a shake in your voice, which only amused Toji further.

“Prick? Where are your manners, you little brat? You’ll address me by sir and nothing else. You understand that, bitch?”

Denji groaned from where he was slumped against the wall.

"Sir? Fucking cringe. Next, he'll be expecting you to call him daddy."

Toji ignored Denji's comment and waited for your response. 

You opened your mouth a couple of times but no words came out.

Toji leaned his ear down to your mouth.

"Can't hear you, darling. What was that?"

"Y-yes sir."

He smirked and straightened his back.

"Good girl. Now, what do you serve here?"

"W-we serve food here, sir."

He clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes at you before looking above your head to the lighted menu. 

"Don't be a smartass."

He rubbed his thick fingers over his chin while he tried to decide on a meal.

"I think I'll have the Spicy McCrispy meal, hold the onions. Extra ketchup and pickles, large fry, and Diet Coke. Gotta keep it balanced." He chuckled to himself once he'd finished.

"Make sure you make it extra tender, juicy, and hot."

The bile began rising in your throat - both at his words and at the fact that you knew the oil that those crispy sandwiches were cooked in hadn't been changed in over a week.

"$10.96."

Toji stared at you blankly and you just returned it. You both stood there awkwardly staring at each other for a moment.

"$10.96?" You repeated.

"I…uh..left my wallet in my other sweatpants?"

You could feel the sweat dripping down the side of your forehead.

"Forget it. You'll pay for it with the insane amount of explosive diarrhea that you're going to have."

Toji chuckled nervously and leaned against the counter, watching you move around while you fixed his food.

He was instantly mesmerized by how much your ass still jiggled despite the tightness of your pants. 

"Here ya go." Your voice snapped him out of his perverted thoughts.

The tray of food looked surprisingly delicious, but you know that it's old and that the fries are cold and stiff.

Toji didn't care, though; he was just glad to have a meal.

He ate everything greedily, all the while never taking his eyes off of you.

When he finished, surprisingly, he dumped his trash in the bin and straightened up his area.

You had retreated to the back of house before he finished; with the power being restored, you could now focus on doing some other menial tasks that you'd only just now remembered.

"Hey…you! Leave Y/N alone!" Denji warned as he watched Toji begin to follow where you had gone.

"Fuck off, pipsqueak, or I'll kill you."

—

In the back, you'd started washing dishes and prepping some things for the morning staff.

The door separating the back of the house and the lobby swung open and then shut loudly behind you.

"Huh? You? What are you doing back here?"

"Hush now, darling; you wouldn't want your little friend out there to hear us now, would you?" 

"Who, Dickhead? He's not my fucking friend, not by a long shot. Doesn't mean I'd want you to kill him, though."

"You sure got a nasty mouth on you, little one. What, not afraid of me anymore?" 

The rusty blade of a sword made contact with the back of your neck.

"I mean, at this point, I was hoping that you were just a bad bout of indigestion, but that doesn't seem to be the case, now does it, gramps?" 

Toji could feel the left side of his face twitching: "Gramps?" 

You blinked once. "Yeah, gramps. You've probably been dead for ages now, so you're like somebody's rusty old great-great-grandpa."

"Rusty?!"

He pressed his crotch against your ass and let you feel his raging hard-on. Even through your pants, you could feel the weight and girth of his dick.

"Would someone who's considered to be 'rusty' be able to get this hard, baby girl?"

His one hand pushed down on your lower back, making you bend over the sink.

"Much better. 'Face down, ass up' suits you, darling."

Toji continued to rub his hard dick against the seat of your pants while making sure you stayed pressed against the sink.

A few soft moans of surprise escaped from your lips as he continued rutting against you.

"T-Toji.. " Your fingernails gripped the edge of the metal sink. His pelvis pushed against your ass and you bounced it back against him…

"Good girl, so fucking sexy." He growled, moving to grab a handful of your ponytail that peeked out of the hole in your McDonald's cap.

This continued for several minutes; Toji moving his hand between gripping your hair, holding your hip, rubbing his thick fingers over your clothed cunt, and smacking your ass.

This ordeal would have to take the cake of being the weirdest night of your life, with no competition.

"Fuck, Toji…this is so weird but hot…I think I'm going to cum…" 

He chuckled darkly, "So you get off to dry-fucking creepy old men after insulting them, eh? What a pompous, dirty, little slut you are, baby."

His movements got faster, making the sink rattle against its unstable position on the wall. 

Just as you were getting close to finishing in your panties, Toji flipped you around, making your back press against the sink painfully. 

You didn't have time to start a complaint though, because now he was slotting himself in between your legs. 

"Woah!"

You didn't know that your leg could stretch that far, but Toji stretched it until your black slip-resistant sneaker was behind your ear.

He began again with the same movements: thrusting against you with all the intent of a man getting ready to bust a fat nut.

"A-ahh, Toji…

"Hmm, feels good, sugar?"

Sugar.

"Y-yes, Toji…God."

He chuckled and moved to hover over you. A trickle of warm saliva dripped from his lips into your waiting mouth before he cupped your cheeks.

"Swallow."

You gulped, letting the viscous material slide down your dry throat.

With your head slightly tilted back, a blinking red light caught your eye. Toji followed your line of sight and then smirked.

"Does that camera work?"

"I don't think so…Aki never gets shit fixed around here…ah.." A sharp thrust of his hips against your covered clit made you shiver.

From the sound of your moans, Toji could tell that you were getting close.

With that one arm wrapped securely around your waist, the strong man lifted you up high to where you almost touched the dingy, grease-splattered ceiling.

He settled you down onto the line where the food was bagged and prepared to be sent out. There was a stack of brown serving trays next to you, containers of ketchup and other condiments, and…the ice cream machine.

"Toji.. what are you planning?" You asked, bringing your cute and confused E/C gaze up to meet his lustful sapphire one. 

He hummed quietly and pressed his lips against your neck.

"Could have sworn I told you to call me sir, brat."

You rolled your eyes. He just wasn't going to let it go, was he? 

“May I ask what you’re planning to do next, sir.” You huffed like a contemptuous child, making Toji’s dick jump.

With this new positioning, you were facing the camera head-on. God, you really hoped that thing wasn’t actually on.

“Smile for the camera, sweetheart.” He whispered in your ear before biting the shell of it, letting his tongue trail down until he was tasting the metal of your silver earring.

"You're so tiny and light, I love lifting you up as if you were nothing more but a little ragdoll." Toji bit at your earlobe, making you let out a loud squeal. Denji definitely would've heard that.

His hand moved to pull your hair, yanking your head to the side so he could leave a trail of wet kisses down from your ear, across the expanse of your neck and collarbones, and down the valley of your breasts once he'd popped the buttons on your shirt open. 

With the angle he had you at, your chest was positioned right under the nozzle of the ice cream machine and your near-fucked-out self hit the button, making a gush of cold, melted cream-colored confection spill across your chest.

Toji raised an eyebrow at you and failed to bite back a laugh. You, on the other hand, weren't as amused.

"What? You'd rather have something else white and creamy splattered across your chest?"  He asked.

You flopped back on the counter and flipped him off. He began to massage the melted ice cream into your skin.

"Looks so sweet. Got any cherries to go on top?”

“Fuck you.”

A handsome, devilish grin stretched across his face. “You just did.”

"What made you appear here tonight?" 

He laughed outright.

"Didn't you listen to the story, dollface? I'm here to sling dick to all the unsuspecting bad bitches, and tonight just happened to be your lucky night."

—

Aki came in the next morning, well-rested and without a care in the world.

With a lit cigarette between his lips, he fumbled with his massive set of keys until he found the correct one needed to open the doors.

Denji had texted him at some point last night telling him about the storm, so his first order of business today was to check to see if the security cameras were still functioning properly.

He sat down at his desk and popped in the security tape from last night. 

The employees, customers, and vendors that had come in after him would hear a very loud and very distinct shout of 'WHAT THE FUCK?!' from the back. 

----

*ʳᵉᵇˡᵒᵍˢ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃᵖᵖʳᵉᶜⁱᵃᵗᵉᵈ!

[becomingkatie]

Photos from deck time this morning since I’m still testing positive and coughing up a storm and getting dizzy with the smallest efforts. Very ready to start testing negative and making up for lost time with some husband snuggles!

The salsa chicken was so good we didn’t struggle to finish the leftovers, which says a lot because as I’ve gotten older and less broke I’ve become waaaaay less fond of eating the same thing for days than I was in college and the years right after. I’ve seen a bunch of variations of this recipe. I did a 2lb pack of chicken breasts because that’s what the store had, then added a packet of taco seasoning and a whole jar of spicy red salsa. I don’t remember what size jar - “regular?” lol. And I slow cooked it until it shredded easily. I thought the flour tortillas held up to it better than corn, but by this morning we were out of those. It would be fantastic in burritos, enchiladas, quesadillas, etc, but we just ate it as tacos all week because I got covid before I could get creative and turn the leftovers into anything new. Anyway, I had these tacos for breakfast today so clearly it was good.

I was supposed to get dinner with friends tomorrow. If I’m testing negative tomorrow and not feeling symptoms anymore, I’ll see if they’re comfortable if we sit on the restaurant patio, since it’s a negative test but not 24 hours since last symptoms. But my prediction is I’ll have to miss it. I’m just so sad since one of the friends is an out of town friend who won’t be back again this year.

[lyfeofrina]

hi everyone! i fasted for 24 hours and after had a few bites of dinner.. i calculated 200 calories in total!

today i woke up so fatigued >.< i couldnt fast for long and i ended it at 14 hours :< so disappointing! not being too hard on myself because i am restarting after a year of straight binging (it was so bad) i gained 20 pounds in that one year… i weighed myself a minute ago and im already at 128.5!! i was 135 a week ago :P i have a really fast metabolism 😜😜😜

anyways i wanna share what i ate today ^.^ praying that i fast for AT LEAST 30 hours because i ate sm today…

also my food isnt aesthetically pleasing 🤨🤨 sorry not sorry

ALSO i like to round up when it comes to calories because idk its like a mind game for me and actually makes me eat less because it makes me feel fat after all the rounding up i do :/

breakfast: THE PICTURE YOU SEE HERE IS WHAT I LEFTOVER AND I HAD THAT FOR DINNER!

• two eggs

• half a cup of spaghetti (i so regret eating the spaghetti because its so high in calories and not filling)

• 3 slices of tomato

total: 390>.<

SNACKS:

i love sweets and its the hardest thing for me to give up and i hte it because its so bad for you but i bought low calorie snacks at target today!

•half a oatmeal chocolate chip cookie (35)

•brownie (70)

•half a pancake (50)

•strawberry banana smoothie (220) (i regret it sm but my mom insisted and didnt want her to know i relapsed)(she should be proud though bc i ate sm today)

total:375 (tomorrow will be better)

DINNER: (leftovers from the morning)

i added one spoon of spaghetti and i calculated it to be 100 also didnt finish the eggs bc gross

total:100

TODAYS TOTAL: 710

very high honestly:( i was aiming for 500 but that smoothie >.< i didnt finish it but still add the extra calories because it makes me hate myself and push myself harder!! LOL also i walked sm today!! 13k steps! it says i burned 300 calories ^.^

but yah that’s everything which is a lot….

bye now ^.^

[egoisticswan]

People incidentally ruining my entire day by mentioning what I'm eating 🥰 (or that im eating, for that matter)

Just finished and it was only a 24 hour fast but i hate wasting food. So i finished the fast and then decided to eat the leftovers he's allergic to.

[semusepsu]

Whelp, last night my long streak of trying new recipes and getting good results came to a crashing end when my attempt at ergag be adas was so disgusting that i could not finish eating a bowl, even after i had conceded defeat and tried to turn it into a soup (the soup tasted like watered down mud) . I then completely forgot to make a backup lunch, i was so sure i would just bring the leftovers to work. i was late out the door and spent the day eating granola bars instead of actual food. so i have spent the last 24 hours quite unhappily. it's gotten better after i had some food someone else made though.

It's odd how much it fucked me up that the food i made was bad. maybe it's just because i've had such a good run so far. usually my "bad" dishes are just like, too dry, or too bland, or too salty, things which there are counters for. but this time, in spite of all my best efforts i made a huge quantity of gross crap. i'm getting over it.

[purplesurveys]

1783

How long has it been since you moved out of the house you grew up in?    I haven't moved out.

What color shirt are you wearing?    It's light purple.

The last time you ate leftovers, what was it that you were eating?    I think it's been a while since I have a terrible habit of keeping leftovers and then never coming back for them ever again... BUT OH I think it was a double cheeseburger from McDonald's? sometime earlier this week. I still have a handful of other paper bags in the fridge that I need to get to soon.

What was the last flavor of ice cream you ate?   I had Aice's coffee popsicle when we went to Tanay over the weekend which I was super stoked about since it's my favoriteeeeeeeeeee and I haven't had the chance to have it since 2021 ehehehe. I must have finished it in 5 minutes and chewed my way through the ice cream for the most part lol.

Do you regret anything you've done in the last 24 hours, and if so, what?    Not charging my laptop last night because I had to painstakingly migrate from one outlet to another today, given that I was out all day for work.

What is your favorite type of soup? 🍜    Miso soup, mushroom soup, and this last one is more stew than soup but I love kimchi jjigae.

When was the last time you saw a beautiful sunset? 🌅    It's honestly been ages. I haven't had the time to pause and simply watch a sunset happen and silently soak in those few minutes in a while. The last time may have been all the way back in June when my friends and I had dinner on a tiny cruise boat in Bangkok.

What is your favorite song at the moment?    Cult of Personality by Living Colour for reasons that anyone who even slightly follows wrestling would know, haha.

What is your favorite board that you've made on Pinterest?    I'm not that deep into Pinterest to have boards. I only ever use it for quick searches when I need certain pegs for work Powerpoints.

Do you get on Facebook or Instagram more?    I'm on the Reels tab on Instagram more frequently than I would like to admit, lol. I'm connected to more people on Facebook but it's also still more boring, so when I'm on there I typically just look at the first 10, 15 posts on my feed to see what people are talking about then already close the app.

What color is your favorite sweater?    I don't have a favorite sweater.

What are three things people would never guess about you just by looking at the photos you post on social media?    I don't talk to my brother; I don't know how to ride a bicycle; I was deep into the British YouTuber invasion of the early-mid 2010s.

What is one thing you have too much of?    Right now that would be boxes of my fave coconut-scented reed diffuser but that's only because that's what I got my workmates this Christmas and I have yet to wrap them and give them out, haha.

What was the last thing you ate or drank that was blue raspberry-flavored? It must've been months or years now; raspberry is definitely not something I encounter a lot.

What are three of your favorite scents?    Vanilla, anything that's being baked, and apparently coconut.

What was the last flavor of tea you drank? ☕️    Lemon.

When was the last time you wore your hair in a fishtail braid?    Almost exactly a year ago.

What is one annoying thing your computer does?    I'm so attached to this laptop and it's my baby that I don't even have the heart to say anything bad about it lol. It's extremely slow and the 10 hour battery life has turned into 1 hour in the last six years and it barely has any storage left and has stopped becoming eligible for updates, but IT'S MY BABY DAMMIT.

What type of fruit do you eat the most?    I avoid fruits.

How often do you go out to eat?    Once or twice a month, I would say.

What would your dream wedding dress look like? 👰‍♀️    I'm too lazy to describe anything in detail as it is 10:30 PM and I'm too tired from work lololol but I would love anything that'd channel Audrey Hepburn. Something that'd be able to accentuate the waist with verrrrrrry subtle sleeves and a quiet yet elegant train that doesn't try to steal attention.

Which fall flavor do you prefer: pumpkin spice or apple cinnamon?    Pumpkin spice. Got to try the Starbucks drink when they were randomly giving out pumpkin spice free samples and I came out of that store a changed and converted woman.

What is the most annoying thing about your life right now?    All other PR/ad agencies are going on shutdown by the end of this week and my fuckin workplace isn't starting ours until next Friday.

Which holiday treat do you like better: candy corn or conversation hearts? Candy corn I guess, but I'm not a big candy person to begin with so eh.

What is your favorite apple-flavored treat?    Chewy candies, like Mentos.

What are you counting down the days to right now, if anything?    Our office shutdown. I'm so excited for it that I've started to stop exerting 100% effort at work lol.

What was the last book you read about?    It's an autobiography.

Have you been daydreaming a lot lately about a scenario you wish would happen?  I've been dreaming about it a lot, frustratingly enough.

What are three of your favorite things about camping? ⛺️    I've never gone camping before.

If you could choose what month to be born in, what month would you have chosen as your birth month, and why?    My birth month has never really been an issue to me and I wouldn't change it even if I could.

...and what is your actual birth month?    April.

What are three of your favorite things to do on a rainy day? 🌧️    If I had it my way I'd turn on the aircon, make my room as dark as possible, and take a long nap.

Would you rather eat strawberries 🍓 or watermelon 🍉?    Neither.

Do you prefer smoothies or milkshakes? 🍹    Milkshakes.

Do you prefer hamburgers 🍔 or hot dogs 🌭?    Burgers.

When was the last time you felt nauseous?    I had the most awful motion sickness last Monday.

What was the last thing you ate that made you feel nauseous?    The bagnet and bone marrow dish I had two weeks ago didn't necessarily make me feel nauseous but it did give me awful heartburn.

Do you enjoy going to your local county fair?    We don't have one in my city.

How far away do you live from the place where you were born?    I'd say it's a 1.5-2 hr car ride.

Do you prefer zebra print or cheetah print?  Cheetah.