#finished season 3 and got into season 4 over thanksgiving

[aflawedfashion]

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[deceptive-daydreams]

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Smoke Signals

Chapter Twelve - The Holiday Season Begins

W/C: 8.7K

Eddie x Fem reader - Grumpy!Bartender!Eddie x Shy!Reader

"I've got my eye on you."

Say Yes To Heaven - L.D.R

A/N: Wow I think this is the longest I've gone without posting a chapter. I really hope you guys enjoy this one. I wrote it in bits and pieces and read it over several times. I would really really really love to know what you think, this one is so special and personal to me.

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Sugary apple goo.

You think back to Thanksgiving back home, a ruckus constant in the kitchen as dinner is prepared, more than enough food to feed an entire village.  Pots and pans clank together, trays create an echo as they are not-so-carefully placed atop the counter.  Dinner rolls are burned but still enjoyed with warm cinnamon butter.  The potatoes are a touch too lumpy but still desirable with notes of rosemary and an ungodly amount of garlic.  Various smells, both sweet and savory flood the house, your poor, stressed out mother churning out dish after dish, siblings all engaged in some kind of ball game out in the street just after watching the Thanksgiving Day parade.  

You tend to the green bean casserole, an easy dish that you couldn’t screw up even with your limited attention span.  Cream of Mushroom soup from a can seemed so repulsive in itself although it brought the whole dish together.  It didn’t matter that seconds prior it slumped against the green beans still in the shape of the can, nearly gelatinous.  Once stirred in and baked with crispy onions layered over the top, it was a masterpiece.  A five star dish in your book.

It would only be a matter of time before grandma showed up with her famously delicious apple pie, the crust coated in extra amounts of grainy sugar, the dish still piping hot.  And the “sugary apple goo” as you used to call it at the age of three already had your mouth watering just thinking about it, crispy apples so fresh and topped with syrupy caramelized sauce topped off with cinnamon and nutmeg, all wrapped up in a flaky, buttery crust.  

You sigh, piling the apple mixture on top of the homemade graham cracker crust.  It wasn’t clear to you just how lonely Thanksgiving morning would be without anyone around.  Sure, you had Donnie’s to look forward to this evening but until then, you were on your own, the parade quietly playing on the TV though you hadn’t been very impressed with the floats this year.  Holiday depression was kicking in, a kind you hadn’t experienced yet.  They were usually always a happy time, family surrounding you and distracting you from the lonesome thoughts you usually had.  This year it started feeling more like a ton of bricks was sitting on your chest, no one able to aid in providing you with some kind of task such as the honor of making the green bean casserole to ease the pressure.

It wasn’t like you couldn’t just make the controversially delicious dish, you had everything stashed in the pantry.  It just didn’t feel right.  It went unnoticed by you that tears were slowly sliding down your cheeks until a fat one landed on your wrist as you finished spooning the apple filling.  

Again?

In that moment you swear you looked the most pitiful you had ever looked in your entire life, tears trailing down your face silently, all alone, homesick.  You should be in your pajamas playing some kind of a board game on the coffee table in the living room, surrounded by your siblings.  Not throwing yourself a pity party while spreading apple goo.  To top it off, your hands had gotten completely covered, the sauce making your fingers undesirably sticky.  You hadn’t quite reached the point of sobs yet though you suppose if you let the goo linger on your hands any longer you would.

Some comforting folk music your grandpa used to play religiously rang through the house though you felt no such comfort.  Not as much as you’d hoped anyway.  It brought a familiar sense of his essence to you, his passing three years ago not settling right in your heart.  It only made you more homesick.

But you weren’t going to let yourself soak in salty tears and sticky apples.  No, you washed your hands in soothing warm water, the sludge sliding right off and into the metal of the sink, eyes puffy and red but void of tears for the time being.  You’d sucked them back and changed the music to something more upbeat, some Elvis that your grandpa had also engrained deeply into your brain though you hoped the faster tempo would brighten your spirits and ignite the happy memories.

Only, it landed you on the couch in a whole new sea of sobs this time as Unchained Melody lingered in the lonely room.  There was no getting a grip on the gut-wrenching, stomach-aching isolation you were feeling, sanity was long gone.  You were supposed to be trimming the dough that was meant to create the criss cross pattern for the pie, you were supposed to be enjoying your glass of wine as you sang under your breath to familiar tunes, you were supposed to be okay.  

It was you, after all, who had made the decision to move, right?  It was you who picked up your entire life and plopped it right in the middle of some unknown mountain town in search of yourself.  You feared that you were just losing yourself instead, forgetting just after a few months what it felt like to be surrounded by loved ones, forgetting how it felt to come home to a full house after a grueling shift at the local Denny’s.  You smelled of burnt coffee and dry eggs, your hair greasier than the literal grease trap, but none of that mattered the second you stepped into the coziness of the living room, all family dysfunction left at the door.

The tears wouldn’t stop though you still managed to force yourself off of the couch, wiping snot away with the back of your hand as you stared at the messy kitchen in despair.  Everything suddenly seemed so…impossible.  How were you meant to do anything while simultaneously questioning your entire existence, your entire meaning of life?

You had been in such disarray that cleaning up as you went didn’t even seem close to an option, nearly every pot and pan either set on top of the stove or thrown in the sink, whisks and spatulas scattered among the mess, and apple skins littering the floor.  Now you were taking in the aftermath, not even having the finished product to show as an excuse for the complete disaster, even the dough still rolled out on the cutting board.  You had hours left to prepare though it felt like seconds ticking by to inevitable disappointment.  

The end of the world felt like it weighed down on your shoulders yet you did what you did best each time.  You set it aside and pressed on.  It was never simple, weak hands grasping the dull knife, slicing through the dough to create uniform strips.  Motivation was running dry, the desire to grace everyone with the most delicious apple pie they’d ever tasted was out the window, you could only do what your body allowed.

And like every other time you had to pull yourself out of the gutter.  Life began to bleed back into your eyes as your creation came back to life.  Puffiness still remained throughout your face, eyes still droopy but slowly your drive kicked back into gear.  Sniffles from previous snotty tears continued but nothing felt better than laying down the last layer of dough over the apple filling, a quest conquered.  

Finishing off your cheap red wine, you reward yourself by licking off the spoon you’d used for the filling.  The kitchen still required a good scrub down but you could live with the mess a little while longer as you indulged in the sweetness.  Something well deserved.  You didn’t even want to think about the nightmare that Christmas was about to become, decorating your tree with only the company of your dreaded thoughts.  That was a scenario you were not willing to wander into, at least not until it would actually happen.  There was no sense in making yourself live through it twice, your brain longing to torture you with irrational possibilities.

Elvis’s voice continues to carry through the living room, a second glass of wine being poured in hopes of easing your homesickness, attempting to neglect thoughts of what you would usually be doing right now.  It was barely working, only leaving you feeling slightly lazy with a good layer of sadness still looming over you like a storm cloud.  There was no extinguishing the sorrows you felt for familiarity and the comfort the holidays were supposed to bring you.

Sudden knocking sends you into a brief panic, unexpected guests were not in the cards for your lonesome morning that had only served to encourage your crybaby tendencies.  At the very least you got a pie out of it.

The knocking persists as you scramble up from your depressing divot on the couch, a certain urgency waving over you at the speed of the knocks.  They were rapid, quick pecks at the wood, a worrisome speed that usually constituted an emergency in the end.  

Why today, why now?

With a heavy sigh, you swing the door open, glass of half-finished wine in one hand while the other runs down your drained face.  You expect some kind of eviction notice; god knows why since you own the place.  Maybe the check hadn’t reached the mortgage company, maybe it had been intercepted in transit.  The last thing you expect on your doorstep is a wide-eyed Eddie cradling a large bowl in one arm.  His gray sweatpants swallow his legs and hang low on his hips, a sliver of his tummy on display in between his t-shirt and pants.

It’s conflicting.  Do you act concerned and start begging the questions:  Did something happen?  Who’s injured?  Or do you exhale in relief as a tiny smile tugs at the corners of his mouth even in his somewhat distressed state?  It can’t be that bad if he still finds it in himself to smile, right?

“I, uh, I need help.”  He says sheepishly.

Ever since the night of the hoedown, he’d been a new kind of shy with you.  You couldn’t lie and say you didn’t adore it because truth be told, big bad Eddie Munson who previously chewed you out for being so bashful was now getting a taste of his own medicine.  Except you had been much kinder than he initially was, though it was fun to tease him and force his face to turn a vibrant tomato red.  

“Help?”  You smirk, swirling your wine as if you were some kind of connoisseur.  “My, my, how the tables have turned.”

“Bambi.”  He groans, still maintaining focused eye contact with the wood planks of your porch.

“Eddie.”  

It’s said so softly, in a way that reduces him to a puddle, his knees could give out at any moment if you so much as looked at him a certain way which had been why he refused to catch your gaze.  He internally curses himself for automatically counting under his breath, unable to stop himself: one, two, three, one, two, three.

In an instant your face falls, he only ever counted when he was stressed from what you could gather.  It was a learning curve, navigating Eddie’s quirks.

“Hey.”  You soothe, gingerly grabbing his wrist with your free hand.  “Hey, what’s wrong?”  

His curls bounce with a shake of his head, his eyes fluttering shut.  The counting stops but he still comes across as fuzzy.  Disoriented.  

“Come inside.”  You whisper, gently tugging him through the door, your wine abandoned at the entry table in the process.  “It’s freezing out.”

Instinctually he hands you the bowl he’d been cradling close to his body with a wooden spoon sticking out.  Upon further inspection, a mountain of mashed potatoes-or should you say lumps of potatoes are piled up within the bowl.  The skins are still intact, way too many if he intended to make smooth and creamy potatoes.  They’d be much less than enjoyable in the state they were currently in.

“I fucked them up.”  He whispers.

The sight you’re met with is that of a small child in a grown man’s body, his large eyes pleading.  You’re forced to realize that today may very well be much worse for him than it is for you.  He’d warned you that he didn’t do holidays and here he was, a nervous wreck turning up on your doorstep in a panic with lumpy potatoes.  And suddenly you felt so selfish.

“That’s okay.”  You assure him, tracing a tender thumb over his bicep.  He looked so lost.  “Eddie, it’s okay.”  You repeat with a nod.

“I just, I was gonna buy something from the store, and then, I just thought–I dunno maybe I’d at least try.”  He tugs on his curls, a bit too harshly for your liking.  “I don’t know why I even tried.”  He sighs in defeat.

It’s enough to break your heart.

“Eddie.”  

Turmoil flashes in his eyes, stress apparent in the way his brows furrow and his frown lines grow deeper.  His lips are red, most likely bitten, and he can’t stop twisting one of his rings around his finger.  He looks to be as much of a wreck as you felt although the symptoms seem to be much more apparent in his appearance than yours.  Your slightly swollen eyes were nothing compared to his tousled curls, anxieties littered across his face and trembling hands unable to be subtly hidden without the crutch of sleeves.

“I, uh, I-I shouldn’t have bothered.”  He mutters, reaching for the door.

You intercept him, your hand wrapping around his elbow while you attempt to meet his eyes.  He freezes in his escape, your touch rendering him paralyzed, your fingers suddenly too determined in digging into the meat of his arm.  Not meanly.  Never meanly.  More concerned.  Concerned for the way he cowers away the second he’s offered any fraction of help.  Perhaps it’s hypocritical of you to regard him with such worry when you yourself present the same behaviors under the same circumstances and expect no such treatment.

Your expression offers a certain softness that he’s come across one too many times since you’d barged into his life and taken his heart hostage.  You’d never know you committed such a crime.  And he’d never outright tell you of the ache that sat deep in his chest that he had no clue how to satiate.  All he knew was that he could not jeopardize this.  If he could get through the holidays, if he could get to January and you were still around, then, and only then would he be convinced that he had finally lifted whatever fucked up, out-of-this-world curse that had haunted him all his life.

“It’s okay.”  Barely above a whisper, you assure him.

Eddie doesn’t remember making his way into your kitchen, he can’t recall your delicate hand pulling him along until you let go to discard his potato concoction onto the counter and he realizes he’s taken the warmth for granted in a haze of existential dread.  Like a lost puppy, he stares at your fingertips as they linger on the counter while you lean over to reach for an empty casserole dish.  The entirety of your kitchen cabinets had thrown up all over the counters, a reflection of the way his brain felt.  Scattered.  

“Potatoes are actually super complicated.”  

His ears perk up, unsure of how to conjure up a response.  Instead, he raises his eyebrows, fearful of how dumb he could make himself look with just a few syllables.  It wasn’t like him to care so deeply what others thought of him.

“That’s why I avoid them.  Instead–”  You turn around only to pull out a can of green beans and a can of cream of mushroom.  “-work smarter, not harder.”

Eddie knows he should be hanging onto every word you say and usually he would be, he knows.  Except he can’t help but tune into the melody of Blue Christmas that had been echoing off the kitchen walls from your record player across the room.

The damn record player.  And the records.

He didn’t realize how much the records still affected him.  He had his own collection now, sure.  But anything that resembled the essence of his Mama, lived safely and soundly on its dedicated shelf in his room, untouched.  It took him years to rebuild Mama’s collection.

“Sorry can we-”  He makes his way toward the record player, his face contorted nearly painfully before lifting the needle.  “I just-I can’t think.”

Your motions were paused, can opener halfway through the can of beans as your eyes meet him with questions splayed across your face.  You don’t ask them.  An understanding smile works its way across your lips and god, he doesn’t know why you’re so patient with him after he stepped into your house and suddenly had the uncontrollable urge to shut off your music.  As he strides back into the kitchen, a series of apologies haven't even left his mouth and yet-

“So…Green Bean Casserole.”  You state, fingers tapping against the tin of each can.  “And Sugary Apple Goo.”  A vague gesture toward the uncooked pie.  “Kind of a…weird duo.  Or it will be if I actually get it in the oven-”

“Sorry, what?”  

“Apple pie.  The apple pie.  At home we just call it sugary apple goo, don’t ask why it’s just–it’s just a thing we do.”  You clarify, shoving the dessert into the comforting warmth of the oven, shivering at the sensation as goosebumps begin to prick your skin.

“Apple goo.”  He repeats.  A raised brow disappearing beyond his messy bangs.

Eddie almost forgets the reason why he’d been in such disarray, almost forgets why he even bothered knocking on your door in the first place, only remembers the fact that he was in a panicked state.

“Yeah.”  You sigh.

You busy yourself with slopping the now drained green beans into a nearby glass bowl.  Your blotchy skin and puffy eyes catch in the stream of sunlight, the kitchen window betraying you as it showcases your true state.  Avoiding those large brown eyes is the best you can do, the theory that if you can’t see him he can’t see you dumbly being put to use no matter how aware you are that it makes no sense.  Maybe if you act “okay enough”, he’ll chalk it up to the common cold, placing the responsibility for your rudolph-like nose on the yearly infection.

What you fail to realize is that by this point, he’s become too familiar with your teary eyes and sad worry lines that only seemed prominent in your times of distress.  Times that he had regretfully been the cause of previously.  Words can’t escape his practically sewn-shut-mouth, all sounds dying long before forming on his tongue.  It’s impossible to create comfort when he himself has trouble doing so for himself.  How could he possibly offer such comfort to someone who deserved kinder words from someone of a higher regard?

“Here, dump this in and mix.”  You instruct, forcing a can of cream of mushroom and a wooden spoon in his hands, yanking him out of his mind.

There’s no room for protest, not that he even intended to.  Not when you’re standing there with the ghost of tear tracks down your cheeks.  Not when you’re this kind.  Not when you’re you.  

“Okay.”  He mutters, a disgusting sound filling his ears from the lumpy soup falling into the bowl.

“After that, pour it in here.”  You place a ceramic casserole dish to his right, the dish nearly too large to fit on the cluttered counter though you’re too occupied with tidying up other parts of the kitchen to bother.

“Got it.”

Eddie Munson absolutely hates Thanksgiving.  But he doesn’t mind it so much when you’re rustling around behind him, a silent conversation hanging in the air that neither of you are alone in your holiday sorrows, whatever they may be.

You don’t ask why he continues counting under his breath behind you or why his hands are shaking.

And he doesn’t ask why tears linger in your eyes or why you pause to regain your composure after dropping a pan a bit too loudly for your liking, your lip wobbling.

Because the collective understanding is that neither of you is okay.  And maybe that’s okay.

–

“Careful, the bottom is–”

“Shit!”

“-hot.”

A ringed hand waves around in an effort to rid it of the burning sensation caused by the bottom of the piping hot casserole dish.  Eddie releases a series of curses, the side of the dish pushed against his chest as he balances it between his body and his single arm protected by one of your generously donated dish rags.  Your wide eyes caution him in his balancing act, a perfectly crafted green bean casserole at risk due to his negligence as he had taken the liberty of knocking on the door.

“What the fuck, how can fuckin’ beans be so goddamn hot?”  Brown eyes nearly roll into the back of his head, his fingertips more than likely singed an angry red.

It’s no laughing matter, not according to the scowl that makes its way across his handsome features but you can’t stop the pull of your lips from forming a large grin, giggles caught in the back of your throat.  His irritation disappears just as quickly as it came, harsh edges blurring into softness at the sight of your puffed out cheeks, inflated due to the humor just dying to crawl out of your mouth.

“Oh, shut up.”  A nudge of his shoulder against yours has you shaking your head, laughter finally escaping your perfectly glossed lips.

He could write paragraphs about them if it didn’t seem so creepy and stalkerish.  So he allowed himself the tiniest of glances, only hoping to paint the full picture in his head ever since you’d quickly puckered your lips in front of your mirror at home to complete your finishing touches while he viewed from the porch where he waited in his black button up and nicest pair of jeans.  He’d never been so jealous over a tube of lipgloss.  In fact, he’d never in his life been jealous of a tube of lipgloss and he never felt like more of a loser than in that moment.

“I told you.”  You mutter, an endearing side eye delivered right into his line of sight.  It was something almost child-like, something innocent and not at all like what he’d ever really been on the receiving end of.  Maybe because there was a certain flirtiness you were hinting at although he was no expert and had no right to assume.

“I told you.”  He mumbles back with a higher pitch, mocking you.

You turn toward him, a comeback on the tip of your tongue when his own tongue interrupts with a taunt, peeking out between his lips swiftly, his nose scrunching up meanly before his full attention is back on the door as it creaks open.  And then, a quick wink that only you yourself were a witness to, only creating a stir in your brain as you decipher that no one else would be able to confirm the action.

“Hey!”  Donnie greets, arms flung up in excitement as she ushers you into her welcoming home, smells infiltrating your nose, sweet and savory galore.

Before either you or Eddie can even get a simple “hello” in, she’s talking your ear off, something about who all is already in the living room, how far along the turkey is, where the bathroom is, all while guiding you into the spacious dining room.  She must have set out her fine china, the gorgeous dishes set all around the table lined with champagne colored silver on the edges of the plates.  Two tables had been pushed together, creating enough space for the large number of guests expected.  In the center sat an exquisite arrangement of various orange-hued flowers and some greenery.  

The house was comforting; not too large and not too small, a two story dream that no doubt had acres of backyard.  The Christmas tree had already been set up and decorated, the branches and lights hinting at you from the other room where men roared with laughter, a football game blaring from the TV that contrasted with the familiar voice of Frank Sinatra coming from the stereo.  Combined turkey and Santa decorations adorned the interior everywhere you glanced, surfaces that would usually be empty year around were occupied with tacky little figurines that were more endearing than anything.  Plastic garland traced the rails of the stairs, littered in fake plastic cranberries, the front room being far more grand than your entire home as you inspected it through the archway of the dining room.

Suddenly your nerves were simmering down, a familiar feeling nestling into the bottom of your chest as your shoulders fell from their tensed position, your fingers letting up on their grip on the pie tin you clutched so desperately.  Women squealed from the kitchen, a series of “oh my god”s erupting into the rest of the house, some kind of juicy gossip initiating several gasps as well as some laughter.  Your homesickness began to lie dormant, warmth overtaking you as Donnie went on and on about her family members, which ones to avoid sitting next to at all costs and warning you of the aunties that would corner you and beg for details on your love life.

“Just pretend I’m calling you and run as fast as you can in the other direction.”  She advises.  “And if that doesn’t work, tell ‘em you had too much wine and that it’s making a reappearance.  They’ll scatter like flies.”

You laugh along, taking mental notes as she grabs the pie from you, complimenting the smell as she sets it among several other desserts, a whole table dedicated only to sweets.  When she goes to grab the green bean casserole from Eddie, you can’t help but pause and watch as his doe eyes trace his surroundings, a clearly unfamiliar environment to him.  There’s uncertainty dripping from his demeanor, his single finger tapping against the dish:  One, two, three.  One, two, three.  One, two, three.

“Green bean casserole-Eddie, do you know how many green bean casserole we’ve got?  Like you all read each other’s mind, I swear.”  Donnie jokes.

“It’s-um, it’s hot.”  He cautions her.

Sauntering toward the main table, Donnie proudly sets it on top of a place mat to protect the wood from the heat.  Eddie doesn’t budge, seemingly glued to the carpet, his hands still lingering in the air like he had still been holding the dish.

“You okay?”  You mouth to him, looking up into his worried eyes, only hoping to soothe the crease in between his eyebrows.

He nods though you suspect he’s being a bit dishonest.  

“Oh, c’mon Eddie!  You know I’m just pullin’ your leg.”  Donnie reassures, a heavy hand falling against his shoulder.  “Shoot, I have to go check on the oven.  Yell for me if you need anything, both of you, okay?”  

“Sure.”  You mumble.  “Thank you.”

“There’s a fully stocked bar right over there, help yourselves.”  She calls as she backs herself up toward the kitchen.  “But don’t go too crazy.”  She sends a knowing glance, recalling both of your tendencies to take on more than you can handle.

“Why don’t we get some air?”  You suggest, unable to comprehend exactly just what was happening in Eddie’s mind although you knew enough to understand that he was miles outside of his comfort zone.

“No, no.  I’m good.”  A cleared throat doesn’t reassure you enough but you let it go for the time being.  Prying wasn’t going to help.  “”M gonna get a beer.”  He murmurs, chain jingling from his belt as he makes his way toward what you can only assume is the kitchen where Donnie had just disappeared to.

As pathetic as it seemed, you weren’t going to allow yourself to wander around alone, vulnerable to various conversations trapping you in small talk with strangers: an absolute nightmare.  Timidly, you follow behind Eddie at a safe distance, holding your breath as you take in the new room full of busy women and many glasses of wine.  The smell of gravy heavily lingers, a tinge of the sourly sweet alcohol peeking through as you release your breath and inhale finally.  

And then-they were all over him.  Sweet older women, ranging from around fifty plus years, all doting on him, cooing at him while complimenting how tall he is and his handsome features.  It only forces you to lean your hip against the counter and take in the most captivating scene you’d ever witnessed.  His cheeks redden, his entire face matching shortly after as he nods in response, small “thank you”s sneaking past his lips with a sheepish grin threatening to spread across his face, dimples prominent.  It’s clear he doesn’t know what to do with the attention, has no recognition of the power he currently holds.

“Is this one yours?!”  One woman shrieks, taking your hands in her bony ones.

“Oh-”

“You’re so lucky, he’s such a looker!”  Another chimes in.

“We’re not-”

“You better hope he holds onto all that hair throughout the years.”  A third nods.

Eddie’s face has never been redder, crimson painting his usually pale skin, a beer pinched in between his fingers as he avoids every single eye in the room.  You can only imagine the look on your own face, maybe slightly mortified with a hint of pink pulling at your cheeks due to the unnecessary attention.

“Alright, alright.”  Donnie interjects.  “Enough, you’re gonna scare ‘em away before they’ve even had a bite to eat!”  She waves her hands around, dramatics on full display as she shoos them away like pigeons.

“Thank you.”  You whisper, eyes large and surprised.

“Run, run.”  Donnie displays wide eyes, gently shoving you both out of the kitchen.

–

Throughout the evening, you kept Eddie in your peripheral.  Sure, he was grown and fully capable of taking care of himself but it didn’t worry you any less when holidays weren’t necessarily his favorite thing.  Anxieties lurked in the back of your mind the second he started counting earlier, never once fading away no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself that he was fine, now bantering back and forth with Sam.

“That Steve kid really can’t dance.”  Nathan laughs, pulling you back into the initial conversation you were having, perched on the couch with a glass of wine set in front of you on the coffee table courtesy of Donnie’s excellent hosting skills.

“Well that’s why he excused himself off the dancefloor.”  You softly smile, earning another hearty laugh from the man.

“Hey, but Eddie’s no better.”  He jokes, taking a swig of his beer.  “Looked like a damn giraffe stumbling over his own legs.”

“I wasn’t very coordinated either!”  You defend.  “We were a hot mess.”  You bury your face in your hands.

“Yeah, I bet Eddie thought you were hot.”

The recliner adjacent to you creaks beneath Jett as he makes himself comfortable, slouching with a beer in his hand.

“Whoa.”  Nathan leans forward, ready to reprimand him.  “What-”

“That’s okay.”  You speak softly, your hand covering the older man’s as an act of keeping the peace, something you did best.  Several seconds of contemplation and a glance across the room toward Eddie change your mind.  

“Actually-it’s not.”  You turn your body toward Jett, a man–child before your eyes that refused to even look at you after his comment.  Your hands shake and your cheeks heat with embarrassment, chalking your sudden confidence up to the glass and a half of wine you indulged in.  

“What?”  Jett furrows his brows, examining his beer far too aggressively as a means to avoid you.

“It’s not okay.”  You whisper, a wimpy excuse of a defense.

“What’s gotten into you, boy?”  Nathan scolds through gritted teeth.

Jett’s nearly-black eyes resemble something opposite in comparison to the warmth in those across the room currently harboring a twinkle in an engaged conversation.  The boy is unable to get a word in as you quietly begin to address him.

“Look, I’m sorry if I did something wrong.”  You regret the tremble in your tone, confrontation was well out of your comfort zone, especially with someone who had been so hostile for no reason.  It wasn’t in your DNA to be the “bad guy” even when it would benefit your wellbeing.

Something in your words softens Jett’s eyes, pulls a piece of him back into reality.  You weren’t terrorizing him and he couldn’t seem to grasp that ever since that night you had argued with Eddie behind the bar.  And you hadn’t spoken a word out of line but you weren’t clueless.  Clearly he had an agenda against you and Eddie, it never left your mind since Eddie mentioned that Jett got all over-protective suddenly that night and took it out on him.  But what could you do when all he did was puff out his chest rather than have a decent conversation?  His frayed emotions were not your responsibility, you owed him nothing if he was going to insist on acting like a toddler in adult situations.  You suppose some of it could be due to his lack of years behind yourself and Eddie, Jett still a teenager, almost twenty whereas you had been in your twenties for a few years now.  It wasn’t an excuse, just your brain attempting to work out his logic.

“You didn’t–you didn’t do anything wrong.”  He sighs, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

You don’t offer any words.  Only an expectant look.  Expecting of some kind of explanation as to why he’d been acting so cruel.  And as if the universe decided you didn’t live in enough anguish with your homesickness that morning paired with the current unwanted confrontation, Eddie’s eyes met yours for a brief moment before darting away, a deep sigh and suddenly slouching shoulders clearly indicating some kind of defeat before he quietly stepped out of the room.

“Can we get into this another time?”

You don’t wait for a response, excusing yourself to slip out of the room and follow the trail of cold out the front door, the chill seeping into your bones as your cradle your arms close to yourself.  The porch is spacious, something you hadn’t taken notice of earlier when arriving.  To your left, Eddie sits on a wooden bench with the family name “Scott” carved into it.  A cigarette takes its place between his fingers, his lighter flickering while he lets out a frustrated groan.  He places the stick between his lips and cups the flame to hide it from the wind, finally succeeding in lighting it, puffs of smoke escaping through the corners of his mouth.

“I’m not fragile, Bambi.  Stop following me around.”  He mutters, pulling the cigarette from his lips.  There’s no malice detected in his words, just something lacking hope as he stares straight ahead.

Carefully, you sit at the very edge of the bench, your skirt a tad too short to allow you to fully sit back due to the cold surface.  You catch a wave of his warmth as he rests his arm on his thigh.  It hurts, how far away he feels even being inches from you; his mind might as well be on Jupiter.  A momentary glance over at you causes him to sigh deeply, his head dipping down while he shakes it in disappointment.

“And dammit!”  Eddie snaps, face twitching in aggravation.  “I don’t have a jacket for you this time.  Learn how to dress for the cold.”  He gestures to your posture, your arms wrapped around your middle in an attempt to savor any warmth, and your jaw clenched shut as a means to keep your teeth from chattering though you can’t seem to contain the shivers nearly rattling your bones.

“I don’t need one.”

He scoffs, disbelief evident in his movements, a fidgeting hand reaching up to scratch the barely-there stubble at his jaw.  

“I don’t!”  You lie.

You were never one to willingly be dishonest but a little white lie in this case didn’t seem like the end of the world.  Not when Eddie’s fragile state of mind seemed to gnaw away at him.  You wouldn’t leave him out for the wolves to feed on him; wolves being his never ending thoughts that always without fail, won him over and forced him to crawl back into his comfort zone of isolation.  You suppose you weren’t so innocent either, always succumbing to the very same habits.

“Go back inside.”  A flick of his cigarette ash towards the ground ignites in the thin layer of snow barely coating the porch before extinguishing.

You can’t help the furrow in your brows, staring at him as if to figure him out, attempting to glance into his large coffee colored irises, to no avail.  His shiny eyes dodge your attempts, the windows of his soul closed off, even from you.  Not that you were immediately entitled, though you figure with each trauma he had shared with you, he’d at least be able to look you in the eye.

“Come with me.”  You chirp.  “We’ll taste all the wines.  C’mon, and then we’ll be nice and hungry.  Drunk eating is the best.”  You extend a hand out toward him, your freshly painted nails perfectly imperfect in his peripheral.

“I’m not in the mood, Bambi.”

His gravelly voice has a certain effect on you, one you find not appropriate to dissect right now.  He lifts the cigarette back up to his lips, the chance to take one more drag stolen from him as you pluck it from his fingers, tossing it into the snow without regret, stomping your foot on it for good measure.

“Well, get in the mood.  Let’s go.”  

Boldly, you tug at his arm, unable to move him by yourself, you know.  But he willingly melts into your touch, allowing you to pull him up despite his protesting frown.  Though he follows you to stand, he doesn’t budge much further than that as you try to drag him back into the cozy warmth of the house.  The rounded tip of his nose glows red, the threat of a cold only pushing you to tug on his sleeve with no success in ushering him inside.

“I think ‘m just gonna head home.  You think someone else could give you a ride back?”  The question is hesitant, no longer wanting to participate in the festivities but still concerned for your well-being, especially if you were going to continue to drink.  

Your track record with alcohol wasn’t exactly great and he’d never forgive himself if something happened and he wasn’t there just because the sight of you talking to Jett had left a bad taste in his mouth.  But he couldn’t stand it any longer, watching you act so graceful all the time, especially to someone you didn’t particularly like, and then having to pretend that a simple kiss on the cheek didn’t absolutely wreck him.  A kiss that you hadn’t since mentioned, and he wasn’t going to humiliate himself by insinuating that you wanted him in that way.  No one wanted him in that way.

“What?”  You breathe, face shifting into a sadness Eddie wanted to kick himself for.  “No, you can’t go–”

“I’m sure Jett is ready and willing to entertain you.”

Low blow.  He could always count on himself to deliver a low blow at the worst of times.

Eddie knew now that you had a distaste for Jett, he knew that.  And yet he was stupid enough to continue using Jett as ammo against you for no reason other than his own insecurity.  If he continued to push you away then it wouldn’t hurt so bad when you realized he was scum of the earth.  Trailer trash.  A nobody.  That’s what he kept telling himself.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”  You fume, crossing your arms.

“I don’t know, Bambi.  You tell me cause I can’t figure you out.”

The use of his nickname for you stitched together with words of anguish only further confused you.  You couldn’t seem to win.

“Can’t–can’t figure me out?!”  You widen your eyes at him, only hoping to convey how ridiculous of a statement it is.  “Can’t figure me out.  What about you?!  You’re the one no one can figure out!”  

You’re on the verge of whining, begging in a sense.  Pleading with the most stubborn man in the world and god only knows what you’ll do if he doesn’t stand down.

“Maybe there’s a reason for that.”  He states simply, monotone.  It makes you want to yank your hair out by the roots and offer it to him, asking him if it’s enough.  If it’s enough to shut up the voices in his head.

“Yeah?  Because you don’t wanna let people in?!”  Uncharacteristically, you jab a finger into his chest, frustration making itself known across your face and you only know because his eyes ever so slightly soften.  “Eddie, all you do is give me mixed signals!  How many times do I have to tell you I want nothing to do with Jett?!  What do I have to do to get that through your thick fucking head?!”  He tries to get a word in but you don’t give him an opportunity.  “No, seriously!  I need an instruction manual or something because I’m trying!  I have been trying-”

“-I didn’t ask you to!”  He finally interrupts, sorrow filling his eyes.

With a deep breath, you calm your heaving chest.  It’s apparent you’re no longer cold, your skin hot from working yourself up.  Steam may as well be coming from your ears though it wasn’t your intention to get so irritated with him.  

“I wanted to.  I want to.”  Your voice comes out softer, a gentler approach to his sudden internal conflict.

“No.”

Turning away, he doesn’t quite move to leave but there’s no mistaking the fact that he’s trying to shut you out.  He’s trying to escape like some kind of feral animal but you refuse to give in.  You refuse to let him.  

“Yes.  Eddie–look at me!”  You demand with a small pull of his arm.

“No.”

He goes to turn his body even further away from you but the firm hold you have on his bicep stops him.  He keeps his gaze on the floorboards below, his nose twitching and eyes burning with the threat of tears.  You only know because you’re all too familiar with the mandatory frown that comes with holding them back.

“Stop doing that.  Please.”  You beg.

“I can’t be here right now–”

“What makes you think I can?”

He’s silent.  The world instantly feels so quiet, tiny snow flurries fluttering around you, making you feel as if you’re the only two people on Earth.  Echoes of the celebrating and hollering inside are faint although they don’t do much to pop the bubble you find yourselves in.  Then he breaks the silence, daring to plead with you this time.

“Bambi, please.”  He croaks.

Your initial thought is, please what?  You’d been pleading with him back and forth for god knows how many minutes straight and here he was doing it right back to you.  And for what?  It wasn’t a good enough plea, not for you.  You weren’t ready to let it go, if you even knew what “it” was.

“No, you’re coming inside and you don’t have to associate with me if you don’t want to but you’re coming inside.”

Your demand only seems to irritate him, his brows knitting together while he pinches the bridge of his nose in between his fingers.  If he was agitated then you were about to become enraged.  And that is not something you wanted.  You never wanted to display that kind of emotion toward him but he was practically pulling it out of you and you had to fight against it.  No one had ever been able to pull such a reaction out of you, not ever.  Even if you had gotten pretty close, you swallowed it down and hid it.

“Why?!”  Eddie seethes.

His outburst takes you back, though with the aggravation boiling within you, you were able to contain any reaction he was seeking, if any.  That wasn’t the case for long though as you then launch yourself into another tantrum after staring for a second too long at his snarled lip.

“Because believe it or not, I care, Eddie!”  You practically wail, your voice becoming hoarse.  “If you leave I’m coming with you because I’m not leaving you alone.  Not on Thanksgiving.”  Your head shakes in denial.

Against your own will, a single tear trails down your cheek and the moment you feel it, you’re rapidly wiping it away, hoping he never even saw it when you knew damn well his umber eyes followed it all the way down your face.  He only pulls his gaze away.

“I’m leaving.  You’re staying here.”  He decides, regret etched into his features.

In a final attempt to escape your grasp, he succeeds, feeling your fingertips linger for one last second before drifting away as he turns and makes his way down the porch steps, wood protesting beneath him.  The noise is the only proof you have that he’s actually leaving, that he actually feels he’s not worthy enough to stay.  

You refuse to give up so easily.

Your feet are already on a mission, nearly sprinting down the stairs even with the threat of slipping on the minimal amount of ice beginning to freeze over.  Eddie pays no mind to the fast paced footsteps crunching against the gravel behind him, making his way over to Sugar with his head hung low.  Your heart is racing, not just because you suddenly decided to sprint a few yards but because a healthy dose of dopamine has started coursing throughout your body, a good amount of anxiety accompanying it but not deferring you any longer.

Eddie makes it to Sugar, his hand reaching for the door only for it to be forced shut with a self-manicured hand.  If he didn’t know who the hand belonged to he’d be chewing the owner out for daring to touch his beloved truck.  Instead he rolls his eyes and turns as he prepares to reprimand you in a much more gentle manner than he would anyone else.

Except he doesn’t even have the chance when your lips are suddenly pressed to the corner of his mouth, your body pushing him against Sugar.  His hands freeze mid air, his eyes wide open.  Your hands are resting on his chest and–he can’t breathe.  You pull away, inches from him and he can’t breathe, he can’t speak, he can’t move.  As far as he’s concerned he isn’t even human anymore.  

“Stay.”  You whisper, your breath fanning over slightly chapped lips.

His lips won’t stop tingling, he can’t grasp the concept of what just occurred.  He refuses to even touch you for fear that you might disappear right before him.  Hell, he’s not even sure he’s allowed to.

It’s difficult to gauge his reaction, his heavy breath lingering with the smell of his cigarette that would probably gross you out had it been anyone else but for some reason, because it’s him, you don’t mind very much.  You must smell strongly of wine which isn’t always pleasant so you figure you’re even.

“Please stay.”   You repeat, nudging your nose into his.

It’s like he’s in a trance, his eyelids becoming lazy and his body relaxing when you reach up to trace your thumb ever so slightly over his jaw.  His forehead rests against yours, his eyes squeezing shut, and you can hear a gulp in his throat.  With his eyes still shut, he nods and before you can process it, he launches himself into your arms in a tight embrace, wrapping himself around you, his face buried in your neck.  A wetness catches against your skin catches your attention, Eddie’s body heaving slightly and you just know.

You know that the tear stains on your skin mean more to him than you could ever imagine.

Slowly, your fingers tangle in his hair, threading into the curls at the nape of his neck to lightly scratch his scalp soothingly.  The way he grips onto you tighter, his body shaking, only confirms that physical touch and affection was not a luxury he was allowed in his lifetime.  If he let you, you’d spend thousands of hours holding him, even in the cold.  Whatever he needed.

But the snow flurries began to grow larger and the wind started to pick up.  And you’d be damned if you allowed yourself and Eddie to catch a nasty cold when you could be doing the same thing inside next to the fire.  Though, as you thought about it, Eddie would probably shy away from your touch in front of everyone.  And that didn’t anger you in the way it normally would.  Because you couldn’t blame him, someone so touch starved that he began to sob the second he was willingly kissed and told he was wanted, for shying away from showers of physical affection in front of peers that only know him to be big, bad, Eddie Munson.  It would be too much of a change and you weren’t willing to force that upon him.

So as the cold grew more unforgiving, you continued to hold him.  He would be the one to decide when he felt he wanted to part from you.  And if you both got sick, so be it.  A stupid cold would be worth the price if you were able to provide him the touch he went so long without and so badly craved, even if he didn’t quite know it at first.

Eddie parted from you far sooner than anticipated.  His cheeks were rosy, his rounded nose matching, endearingly so.  His eyelashes were dotted with a few lingering tears, his eyes rimmed with red but sadness was absent from his features.  Instead there was a fondness dripping from his expression and though he parted from the embrace to gaze down at you, he still clung to you like his life depended on it. 

“Can I–can I kiss you?”  He whispers shakily.

You want to laugh, only because he’s acting as if you didn’t kiss him in the first place.  But you bury it deep down and only let a smile blossom.  

“Please.”  You whisper back.

This time, you’re more than happy to beg.  

Hesitantly, his shaky hand cups your jaw, the warmth from his skin more than welcome as he gently slots his lips against yours.  He’s slow with it, taking his time.  As you move in rhythm with him, you encourage him, moving his arms to circle your waist, pressing yourself closer and letting your hands travel up his chest to lock behind his neck.  

“I can’t stop.”  He laughs quietly, continuously pecking your lips like he can’t get enough.

“Don’t.”  You giggle into his mouth.

Teeth clash against teeth and though he hasn’t quite graduated to using tongue yet, you have the urge to introduce him.  Before you can pass your tongue along his plump bottom lip, he curses under his breath as he pulls away, only causing worry to spread across your face.

“You’re freezing.”  His hands rub up and down your arms to somewhat heat you up and only then do you realize your face feels completely numb.

“No, I’m fine.”  You protest against your better judgment.  It wasn’t exactly fitting to be in tights while one of the first snow falls of the year ensued.

“You’ll be a popsicle in like three seconds.”

Eddie softly smiles, reaching for your hand and tugging you with him toward the house.  A whine escapes you, a pathetic whimper but you manage to shuffle yourself along with him.  Before entering the realm of reality beyond the front door, Eddie turns to you, stars in his eyes, something glimmering.

“How’s my nose?  Snotty?”  He grins, wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

~end~

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[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls- Season 2, Episode 22 (Last Episode of the Season). "I Can't Get Started" Part 4

Aaaaand we've finally arrived at the finish line for Season 2. I began recapping this season on November 25th, 2022, the day after Thanksgiving...310 days ago. SaltyGilmores! SaltyGilmores! Can you tell us a little about how you're feeling as you prepare to begin season 3?

You ever watch a Stars Hollow crowd scene on Gilmore Girls and go, who the hell are all these people and where did they come from?

This is so ridiculously corny and cute. This is what we live for. This is what Gilly Girls is all about. You ever see some of the spicy tight and low cut blouses Lane wears on this show and wonder how Mrs Kim ever allowed her out of the house? I'm asking the important questions today.

R: I'm about to cheat on your ass so hard your head will spin. I am gonna kiss my stepcousin so hard.

D: (pointing to Miss Patty, Babette, and the Stars Hollowans gathered around the piano) How many cocktails caused that? R: None, but when they start drinking we're going to have to hide you. One of ASP's favorite recurring jokes is the one where Miss Patty, left to her own devices, would inevitably try to force herself sexually onto Jess and Dean; it's unclear in this scenario whether that is the threat or if it's "we're gonna have to hide you or she'll make you sing.". But I can take a guess here.

There's another sexual predator who loves tall pretty teenage boys lurking around this wedding that you should be more concerned about.

Dean gets a "We're calling to discuss your car's extended warranty" call and pretends it's someone important on the line so he can keep fooling Rory into thinking he actually has a life. Uh, anyway, it's Paris? Calling Dean's phone? Alright.Rory asks Paris how she got Dean's number but It's never explained. Paris is a wizard.

Sookie is having her wedding on a Friday afternoon. It is a Friday and Rory is not in school (AGAIN!), Dean, Lane and Jess are not at school (AGAIN), Rory is missing ELECTION DAY at school where she may potentially be elected Vice President, Lorelai is not working and making Michel fill in for her, there are dozens of other people attending this wedding who are not working, IT'S A FRIDAY AFTERNOON NO ONE IS WORKING (EXCEPT MICHEL) OR GOING TO SCHOOL THEY'RE ALL AT THIS WEDDING. Also, everyone is DRUNK on a Friday afternoon. Well I can't hate on that. What else is there to do in the Hollow besides drink away your troubles? Headmaster Charleston: Miss Gilmore, would you care to explain these multiple unexcused absences? Rory: Well, two weeks ago I ditched school to take a bus to new york city to eat wieners with my cousin and this week I skipped school to go to my mother's friend's wedding which she scheduled for the middle of the afternoon on a Friday, and I had to stick to my agenda of going to the wedding and kissing my cousin. Paris doesn't directly say that GellerMore won, but Rory thinks it's implied (and we already know they win). She proceeds to notifiy Dean. Who is just...over the moon upon hearing the news.

Well...okay. Fine. I'll take it. Where's the angry posseiveness? Like the time Rory wanted to spend time away from him volunteering? Or spend one night away from him doing her laundry? Or spend an hour eating lunch with Jess? Or.. It's probably because this time there are witnesses around, although that would imply Dean actually has some level of self awareness that his behavior is inappropriate. Speaking of Inappropriate...

Well, that answers THAT question.

...Says the sexual predator, as she drools over him like a dog eyeing a well cooked 6'4 steak.

Don’t drag my girl Babette into this, she's devoted to her Morey. Unlike you two beasts, Lorelai and MP, she has some standards).

Chris Hansen would have a field day at this wedding with all these predators in one place. Why does Crusty's suit look like it's incredibly ill fitting? Maybe it's just me.

STOP IT!!!! I COMMAND YOU TO STOP IT!!!

Lorelai and Crusty are shamelessly swapping spit in the middle of her friend’s wedding reception, sullying the virgin eyes of Rory and a minister and Sookie and God and Lane and everyone else. Lore to Crusty: Stop looking at me like that or everyone here will think we did it! Pretty rich coming from soneone who looks at Dean Forrester the same way. I HATE that I'm recapping this FILTH and don't know WHY I'm doing it. Crusty (before Lorelai's parents walked up and mercifully interrupted them) Do you feel embarrased about last night? Sorry about it? Want to repeat it?

IN FRONT OF HER GOSH DANG MOTHER/GRANDMOTHER OF HIS CHILD. Disgusting, filthy, shameless psychopaths.

Dat's a good question.

I mean, it's a half truth, at least. Now you wanna tell your Mom how he used his daughter's medical appointment as a springboard to dive straight into your pants?

Has he now? Golly gee whillikers, I must have missed that part, must've happened in between all the rounds of projectile vomitting I've been doing.

Lorelai, with the world's worst poker face as she daydreams about her next Crusty Porking, convinces Emily that Christopher is only here to spend more time with Rory and Emily is like well isn't that nice. Are we really supposed to believe Emily is that fucking stupid?

Let's check back in with some of the more non-loathsome residents of the Hollow. Take it away Kirk! Then take ME away. Please.

Rory, for your own sanity and wellbeing, please keep your mind unsullied and pure and don't ask your crusty father questions like this.

Oh Rory. Oh my poor sweet innocent bubs, Rory.

Nobody owns calendars in the Hollow, I suppose. Please see my throbbing, rock hard photographic proof above that this wedding is happening on a Friday. (Not to mention, if it was Sunday...Paris is at school?) I will have to squeeze the remaining four minutes (The Jess Minutes) into one final post. After I mop up my barf. Toodles.

[quietgalcoasterss]

My Top 5 (End of 2023)

Hi yall! Sorry for how long it’s been. Thanksgiving left me exhausted, and then all of a sudden I was coming back to college for finals weeks. I almost finished this a week ago, but then I just forget to add the last section. Anyway, as the end of the year approaches and seasonal parks close their doors, I figure this is an appropriate time to share my current top 5 coasters. So far, I’ve visited 3 major theme parks in the US as of recently: Six Flags Great Adventure, Kings Dominion and Busch Gardens Williamsburg. I’ve also visited Disney World and Universal Orlando, but those were back when I was 11 or so, and so I hardly remember any rides I might’ve gone on. So while this will change over the years, and I’ll eventually have enough credits to where I can start listing my top 10, 15 and even 20, here be my current top 5 :>

For context, I base my rankings off of two factors:

1. How much I want to re-ride it right now.

2. How long I’m laughing after I’ve gotten off. If I’m still chuckling by the time I’m back at the entrance, it’s a winner.

5. Kingda Ka, Six Flags Great Adventure

It won’t shock you to know that Kingda Ka was, at one point, the scariest coaster I’ve ever been on. How long did it hold that title? Like 2 hours until I rode it for a second time, after which I knew for a fact my coaster fear was all but buried. Despite that, I’m pretty certain that no matter how often I ride it in the future, sitting on the launch track will still give me butterflies in my stomach.

But god, that launch is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. Hell, for like 2 weeks after my second Great Adventure visit this past summer, I scoured Youtube for a pov/off-ride video that would hit the exact same mark as actually riding Kingda Ka. I never found one that got even close :(. I also never got to ride OG Top Thrill Dragster or any other Intamin hydraulic launch coaster (Storm Runner looks so good…), but god you mean to tell me there’s multiple of these??? Even though I’ve ridden longer rides, as well as ones that I wish I could ride right now even more, that does NOT mean Kingda Ka does not deserve love. All my homies love Kingda Ka.

4. Nitro, Six Flags Great Adventure

Nitro was my first ever B&M (Bolliger and Mabillard) hyper coaster (ride that exceeds 200 feet). And although the only other one I’ve ridden is Apollo’s Chariot, I do NOT understand why thoosies say this thing is mid. Sure the paint scheme is on the uglier side, but that makes it unique. And like, this thing isn’t the ugliest thing in the world. I don’t even know how you could make a coaster ugly.

This thing is floater airtime and speed galore. Next time I’m at Great Adventure, I’m trying out both front and back row to see how it lives up. I always put my hands up on Nitro cuz like, why wouldn’t you? Only part that’s a sharp change is the helix as the trains return to the station. That thing is fast and tight: I grey out every time I go through it. Not saying it’s bad at all, just a wild element lol.

3. Pantheon, Busch Gardens Williamsburg

Pantheon is my first ever ride to feature a vertical spike. And oh my GOD did it have me laughing like a mad lass. This thing is such a treat from start to finish. I have a whole other story to share about this coaster and waiting in queue, but that’s for another time.

What Pantheon does super well is consistency between its elements. From the first launch to missing the top hat to the spike to the hangtime, this thing does NOT quit (until the brake run of course). Some people say this is a mix between Maverick and Velocicoaster, and from the pov’s I’ve watched, I can see where they’re coming from. I’m planning on riding Maverick next summer, and I don’t know when I’ll be able to go to Islands of Adventure. But until then, Pantheon my beloved.

2. Intimidator 305, Kings Dominion

I love you I-305. I love you so damn much. This monstrosity was my first ever giga coaster (ride that exceeds 300 feet), and oh my GOD is it heavenly. I need to make it clear that this thing is not for the faint of heart. It is fast, whippy and unrelenting. But in a loving way :D.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to not grey out on the right back after the drop. But lemme tell ya, greying out is awesome. I understand why some people dislike it and tend to avoid re-riding anything that does it to em. But me? I love the feeling. If anything I wanna immediately re-ride it if I feel my vision going. I’m weird and gay like that. Some people also say that this is the anti-Millennium Force: while Millennium does airtime galore, I-305 does speed and lateral’s galore. I’ll be the judge of that when I hopefully go to Cedar Point soonish, but for now, Intimidator 305 sits comfortably in my number 2.

1. El Toro, Six Flags Great Adventure

You knew this was coming. El Toro was my first wooden coaster, my first non-family coaster, my first big Intamin, my first blog here and it’s in my pfp \o/. I’m so glad that Six Flags has been genuinely caring for this monstrosity after all these years. Even with the recent incidents, they haven’t given up on it. And I’m so grateful for that, I can’t imagine Great Adventure without this.

There’s still many woodie’s that I need to ride. The Beast at Kings Island and The Voyage at Holiday World are both really high on my list. But as of right now I ain’t going out to Indiana just to ride a big woodie (and also Firebird, that looks sick). To be brutally honest, the only other woodie I’ve actually ridden as of today is The Grizzly at Kings Dominion. And it’s a solid woodie, don’t get me wrong. But it just ain’t the Bull.

Some people dislike El Toro for how rough it’s apparently become over the years. And while that’s understandable, I love a woodie that’s rough. It gives a bite to it, like it’s out of control. That’s what woodies specialize in over steel’s: they’re out of control. From this thing’s ejector airtime, to the speed, to the tight banks to the Rolling Thunder Hill, El Toro will never leave my heart. It’s no wonder I spent 30 bucks on a t-shirt and keychain on my most recent visit. I’m a capitalist slave to the Bull.

[steddieas-shegoes]

If life doesn’t CHILL OUT!!!

I promise you, I will be so annoying with posts very soon, but for now I’m so busy pre-writing a lot of stuff (mechanic single dad Eddie, birthday ficlets, @steddieholidaydrabbles, a server holiday exchange fic, planning other events starting next year 👀) that I haven’t been able to focus enough on one thing to actually post stuff.

Also, just, life! I drastically underestimated how fucking exhausting the hockey schedule would be (and all the social activities that come with it like a birthday party for a kid today and another one tomorrow), we’re launching a new product at work so I’m at a point where I’m working through my lunch often and rarely have any downtime, my classes are all 400 level so they involve a lot of writing (and they aren’t bad! They’re just much more time consuming), plus the always busier schedule that comes when we reach the beginning of holiday season, AND I still make time to actually read fic because I can’t just spend ALL my free time writing.

I’m not stopping, just being forced to slow way down against my will. Here’s some upcoming posts:

10/27 - an 8300 word birthday ficlet (do not LOOK at me this was supposed to be no more than 3500 words and then I got the context disease)

10/28 - Halloween Drabble for @steddieholidaydrabbles warm up round 3

10/31 - birthday ficlet that’s not technically finished or edited RIP me

11/4 - birthday ficlet that’s still in the early stages but I might catch context disease again

11/18 - bakery au Drabble for @steddieholidaydrabbles warm up round 4

I will also be updating the mechanic single dad Eddie fic at some point over the next week and a half. I set myself a deadline to have that finished by Thanksgiving, which is still very possible, but I know I can’t hold myself to it right now.

[hihopelessromantics]

OOOH! Definitely interested in your wips. Would love to hear more about these in particular (whichever one(s) you feel like sharing)

(also yes definitely still happily stuck inside this fandom bubble)

will indulge!!! (This is long but it's good to organize my thoughts lol)

I straight up forgot to put the name of this one lol. Meliodas doing dangerous antics is part of my Through the Wall sequel fic, called "Stakeout" which is the one where I have him cooking. I tried to mix in some humor with the angst here. It's basically Stigma Meliodas if Nakaba didn't nerf his intellegence. This one, I'll be feeding you guys soon!! Because I plan to try to finish Through the Wall this Thanksgiving Break, since I started it last thanksgiving break (ambitious I know, but imagine the poetism if I pull it off!) and Stakeout is farther along in its completion than that one. Stakeout is about Meliodas looking out for the TC and his brother from the opposite of the war. The first part is him deciding to try to get them dinner after seeing how worn-down they are, and the second . . . well, he can't exactly leave Zeldris to watch over both the Vampire and Demon Realms all by his lonesome, right? I'm actually really excited for you and @7-ratsinatrenchcoat to see this one in particular when it's finished because I tried to channel the melizabeth energy I liked in your work

This one is named such not cause I wanna name it something bulky (it has a better name! that's the exclusive lore lol) but I'm commited not to spoiling the plot twists in this one. This is gonna be my main gift to this fandom, a spiced up psychological horror rewrite of the whole show with original elizabeths and original adventures for the first and second season (that one is a backstory with Liz!) Plot point collaboration welcome. A bunch of season one, and the plot tiwsts, I made with my good friend zeldriszezinho, and I'm pretty antsy and excited to finally get around to it and present him with the result of our hard work, haha. I actually have a lot of senarios planned both in detail and loosely, just not written down. I'm currently procrastinating on Season 1 Pt. 2 because it's literally 5 or so arcs of content, one for all the sins, and uh. mental energy. So I'm trying to finish up a lot of small projects first just so my mind isn't everywhere. I can't remember if you've seen what I've posted on it so far but here's the masterpost and season one part one! It's on tumblr too! but I went ahead and pressed the space bar like 4 times every indent so it would be normally formatted on A03 sooooo https://archiveofourown.org/works/48567730 https://archiveofourown.org/works/48611485/chapters/122618557

3. Ironically, think Rings was another one inspired by you - it's old, almost 8 months by now, and the only reason I haven't published it yet is the second ellie spiraled out of control into her own adventure and I haven't had the time because I've been word vomiting so many other projects into existence. it's half meme format, half usual writing. The second ellie's meme story is complete and the third's just needs its wrapping up of its actual plot, which is simple: an arrogant man thinks his bride is secretly a nutcase, but feels pressured into marrying her because medival times, because she's a sweet and intellegent woman running an orphanage all by herself, and technically he can't do better, and because it would look disasterously on the both of them and destroy his carefully crafted persona if they somehow couldn't make this community-arranged marriage work. So he's "putting up with her quirks." Including the ancient what-looks-like-wedding-rings she wears around her neck, and the fact she genuinely thinks her one-that-got-away lover sold a prized possession to demons. (the significance of these rings is in the stories of the previous two elizabeths). Well. Actually. He steals them while she's distracted with wedding planning. It doesn't go well for him from there.

Let me know your opinion: should I try finishing the third ellie and then publishing it? I can always go back and make a full story out of "purple ring" ellie + friends later.

Basically, the purple ring's story is as thus: Meliodas decides he needs to rest, "REALLY rest", since his emotional stress is beginning to affect his demon biology in a bad way, and voluntarily coma-tizes himself for a while. He wakes some time later only to find out Elizabeth and her new 'family' have been considering him as their good luck charm. (Maybe even more than one Elizabeth has passed by now. Probably the apothecary he visits figures out what Meliodas meant to do and goes to fetch him, too late, and looks after him . . . see, that could be a whole OTHER story in itself. anyway.) He's a "good luck charm" because his demon aura has been disgusing the magical signature of her druid family, not that they've figured this out. Meliodas tries to get up and run away with an injured Ellie but surprise surprise he hasn't quite recovered from what his body and mind has been through, and the combination of that and the drugs has left him critcially weakened. He actually collapses falls down a small cliff with her. Ellie assures him they've gotten far enough to shake off the people who are searching for her, that it's okay. Moreover, she understands more or less what he's going through, since she lost her leg a while back. They reuinte with Ellie's little "siblings," druid children the family has rescued along their journey.

Later ~ the main organizers of their group are shocked to return to their isolated cabin to find that not only have all the children survived the winter, and possible clashes with whoever's been hunting them for decades, but there's one extra child! And a talking cow. (I haven't decided whether some of these people are semi-antagonsists.) Meliodas's condition never improves (angst angst <3) but he takes up the task of looking after the kids alongside Elizabeth anyway- especially when she and the others are gone, working or otherwise. Oftentimes he and the spunky talking cow go on adventures in the forest or in town, collecting herbs or materials for crafts and toys. She carries him, Hawk-style. I can't remember her name but it was a silly one, and he saves her life once with his wings. He's also fought away intruders once while the 'adults' weren't home with Full Counter, being able to stand for long enough to use it before collapsing.

In this iteration, Meliodas recieves his ring from his new 'siblings' as they say that "it's the same color as the magic you used to protect us." Referring to the times he's used his demon magic around the house, and, unknowingly, to the fact his very presence has been the only thing keeping them safe from raiders on more than one occasion. Throughout it all Meliodas struggles with having to be the one cared for for once, and not being able to be the muscle of this group that so clearly would benefit from him being his 'usual' self. While his siblings think he's a genuine gift from God, and are more than happy to look after him as he does them, trading stories between them and cuddling up like he truly belongs, adult members of the family never take a shine to him and resent him somewhat, even perrfering when he was comatose. There's more (and more angst) but I should probably say less.

4. (TW: this one gets DARK with the demon brothers angst) modern fantasy ireland boarding school au" is actually another gift for @gh0stofyesterday, who can't escape me, from back in like feburary or something lol. It's an angsty modern-day genderqueer demon brothers and genderqueer elizabeth. Basically Meliodas tricks his snooty father into letting him and his brother (who's not technically old enough but academically girlboss yourself outta that condundrum zeldris) go to boarding school in his deceased mother's home country, where Meliodas plans to study interior design (he's gonna design the boar hat himself <3) and, against his father's wishes, join the gymnastic team. Little does he know that his online friends in his tween gymnastics discord server or whatever (The TC) are also going to end up there. ( I have the scene where they realize he's not the snooty daughter of the DK ceo and actually their Captain planned out already actually. they realize it when he beats the snot out of some guy that chases zeldris through the gymnasium lol).

Other plot points include! Elizabeth and Meliodas have a secret online romance as "Study buddies" and plan to perform a ceremony to use whatever their magic is unsealed to share a bit of that magic with each other, as a kind of marriage ceremony (peak 14 year old romance lol). Meliodas and Zeldris learn (originally Irish) sign language in order to communicate without their father snooping. Cusack and Chandler deal with being technical slaves to the Demon King and attempt to parent their protegees in more important ways than teaching them fencing, keeping their secrets, and buying them things. Gelda explains she never cuddles with her sisters for emotional support, Zel and Mel feel sorry for her . . . then figure out they are touch-starved and probably need therapy for that too. Hot springs date. Zel discovers Mel has been cuddling him while laying on his side specifically because there are fresh child abuse wounds across his back. Meliodas commandeers his gymnastics coach's coaching authority and starts an underground fencing ring upon being told he can't do that (we go to school in a castle! c'mon!). Zeldris tries to deal with a ginger-haired kid who seems equally hellbent on being his friend as he is his school rival. Depending on how dark I'm gonna make this, you might even get to see a prolouge where Zeldris forgoes a plan to murder - suicide his brother following his mother's funeral after meeting a small Gelda at the playground. Oh, and the DK having to fidgit uncomfortably in court. This one is basically a for-fun daydream, but a pal volunteed to beta it for me so it will eventually get written up for you all!

[gwydionmisha]

Personal: Well Fuck!  Disability Edition

Wednesday, I was so exhausted in was lungs and straight tro bed after, once I got the Millennial home.  Thursday, I realized iI had four errands, one of them being take an ILL back I'd been futzing around with after finishing that was now due.  I do NOT want to piss of ILL department.  It had been beautiful and sunny, but had gone a little dim while I was finishing up with it.  Somehow between me standing up to start gathering gear and suiting up to go then leaving, it went from cats watching birds in open windows with mild evening overcast to pissing down so hard I got soaked in the short hobble from overhang to car.  Very PNW, really, but it is usually not quite this abrupt at this time of year.  I hadn't grabbed a coat because it had been warm literally minutes ago.

The book got back.  I got my meds from poverty pharmacy.  I burned the rest of both OTCs before they flipped over, which required two stores, since the OTC chain pharmacy does not sell tomatoes or the kind of cheese i wanted in my dinner.  It was fine. I did the stuff I didn't do and got the TUMBLR programming up to date.  I went to bed at a decent time.  

3-4 hours later forage delivery woke me, and it was the sub, so instead of doing the easiest thing for everyone, which is drop them off on the patio (No contact.  No doors for them instead of two, plus no waiting around, samish distance.  I can pull the boxes in and sort them sitting down, but they'd have to know to check delivery instructions.  The people who normally do the route know where to park, etc.), so I can have time to dress and get my legs working properly, they were locked out of the front door and needing letting in, likely straining to hold the boxes, while I dressed and tried to make it out to let them in.  My legs weren't working, and I kept having to flop on the bed and grab furniture and door jams.  The pain was excruciating.  I was shaking from effort and pain by the time I hobbled out on my crutch to get them.

so know I'm standing in yet more pain, and bending over which is a thing difficult and painful and apt to fuck with my breathing in the kitchen instead of sitting down to pull out perishables.  They might as well have just handed me my breakfast cookie and the meat tube, nuts, and bag of cheese for Squirrel and saved the hauling.  

Everything in my box except the breakfast cookie and apples needs a minimum of an hour prep plus a lot of extra ingredients to turn into food, not counting peanut butter which I can't eat.  The protein is tofu which is about an hour of prep for marinade one day and 1-2 hours on the second day plus a ton of extra ingredients and the foreknowledge to know which if any two days in a row I can handle that much standing.  I used to be a whiz at tofu.  These days I just give it away and buy pre-seasoned because I physically can't manage it anymore.  Nothing except the cookie, apples, and the dried government figs (I can't digest figs either.  I love them, but can't eat them) could be eaten alone.

Squirrel's box wasn't much better, but at least he got three edible things that could be made quickly, though with extra ingredients.

They know these boxes are going to elderly and disabled people.  This set was only slightly above the level of the time when they sent us 45 radishes for Thanksgiving because surely that's what we needed instead of... almost anything else.

I know, I know, they haven't much money and everybody got their EBT cut dramatically while food prices are sky rocketing.  I just keep thinking about how in the second year of the pandemic they kept sending these exhausting, illogical boxes while giving the able bodied people healthy frozen homemade soup they made in the kitchen there that you could just thaw out and eat....  None for the elderly and disabled of course.  

They are changing the policy so it's forage or forage delivery, not you can come in and look if you are well enough to go, but you have usually something from the box if you can't.  There has been hardly anything at in person forage since the pandemic started, but you can usually get milk and about half the time there is bread.  Once in a while one lucks out, like we did Wednesday and I got six cans of coconut water and some lettuce.  forage box often has useful things like impossible meat or Indian ready meals and random useful things.  It's more reliable, but it too is a roulette wheel.  I need to stay on delivery even if I were up to once a week as that's where Squirrel gets his meat and nuts and things, and the boxes are still a better gamble than the in person.  Sigh.

so I made phone calls I needed to make before trying to go back to bed.  I fell through the cracks on a medical thing and will have to start from scratch with the new Doctor in April.  I tried to get through to the rheum's billing department to find out why they are billing me instead of medicare.  No live humans, so I left a message.  No answer, so I have to start again Monday and hope it can get solved fast because they want this money first week of April.

I was so angry about all of it that I couldn't get back to sleep for four hours.

Then a guy with children screaming in the background woke me up to try to get me to move out of my apartment.  I gave him the do not call list schpeel.  This shit is starting all over again.  Fuck!  At the height of it pre-pandemic, I'd get multiple mailers and calls trying to get me to move a week.  I am very much hoping to leave here feet first.  I wish there was some way to convey that which would end the harassment.  They upped my block numbers to 25 from 20.  Finally, but I need most of that for the police and fire scammers, plus the time shares and identity theft regulars.  Oh and that asshole from the fake cancer charity who likes to call on weekends or as early as 7AM.  The fake police charity down in Seattle got two more auto-dialers this year.  I do not have enough block slots for every realtor in town.

The call seven thirtyish in the evening from a friend was totally reasonable, but I was in crap shape and ended up going back to sleep after.  I ended yup watching an espionage show until the are you all right message from Netflix came up.  I did manage to eat and lung and take care of cats before the body spasms started and that ate most of the rest of the night.  Fun!  It's 7:41AM on Saturday and I achieved next to nothing.

[mangoesandpalmtrees]

15 Best Pecan Recipes To Try Today

Pecans are one of those ingredients that are incredibly easy to implement into a recipe, but they add so much more flavor and a tremendous amount of texture that there really aren’t many reasons not to use them. Their sweet nutty and buttery flavor is incredibly unique and works well with such a wide range of different foods that it can initially seem a little hard to know exactly where they work best. Luckily, we’ve got some delicious recipes that use pecans right here. Here are 15 of the tastiest and most appetizing recipes, from baked goods all the way to meat-filled salads, that all benefit from adding a few pecans into the mixture. 15 Best Pecan Recipes To Try Today 1. Pecan Pie Whether it’s as a simple dessert to finish off the day after a big and hefty meal, or as a crunchy party appetizer that you know everyone is going to love once they take that first bite, pecan pie is a buttery, sweet, and downright delicious pie recipe that can be made in just a few minutes. Be sure to add a wallop of whipped cream or ice cream to compliment the nutty texture of the pecans which cover the entire pie on both the outside and the inside. 2. Turtle Cookies The core of turtle cookies is made from the delightful pairing of chocolate chip (see also "How To Make Chocolate Chip Cookie Ice Cream Cake"), caramel pieces, and pecans, making each cookie extremely soft and chewy, rather than ever being too stale or a little hard to chew on. An entire batch can be made in just a few minutes, so feel free to whip them up as a dessert for guests to enjoy after evening dinner, or just as a surprise for the entire family to snack on later in the day. 3. Butter Pecan Chicken The key to this recipe is cooking the chicken until it’s nice and juicy before then brushing it over with butter which will make the texture as creamy as possible, before then adding chicken broth, brown sugar, honey, thyme, and of course, a few pecans while it’s still in the pan. Heating up pecans gives them an even crunchier texture and a lovely nutty aroma that goes so well with chicken, and to make things even better, you can use any kind of chicken you want for this recipe, whether it’s breast, thighs, or even wings, the choice is entirely up to you. 4. Caramel Pecan Pie Cheesecake Bars Looking for a bite-size pecan recipe that is still packed full of that nutty and slightly buttery flavor that so many of us can’t get enough of? Try out these pecan pie cheesecake bars which use a graham cracker crust to add even more crunch to the recipe and a cheesecake filling topped off with pecans to make for one of the tastiest Thanksgiving and fall desserts out there. 5. Pecan Pie Brownies Pecan pie brownies are a fan favorite when it comes to crunchy desserts since they manage to still maintain the dark and chewy texture of the brownies while still having a little more firmness and a whole new level of sweetness added to the flavor thanks to the pecans which are added to the recipe. The good news is they can be made in huge batches in just a handful of minutes, making them perfect as a tasty dessert to enjoy after family dinner, and even better as a seasonal treat for everyone to enjoy to celebrate the holidays. 6. Butter Pecan Layer Cake Butter and pecans really are the perfect pairing when it comes to making a smooth and delicious dessert, and there’s no better way to combine the two than as part of a large and filling cake. The vanilla extract in this recipe helps to enhance the flavors even more, alongside adding a tremendous amount of sweetness to the frosting that rests on top. The amount of pecans you add will depend on how crunchy you want the cake to be, though the more you put in, the sweeter and nuttier the overall taste and texture will be. 7. Maple-Pecan Pork Chops It’s not only baked goods and desserts that pecans pair well with, but they are also a fantastic addition to many meat dishes, especially pork which tends to be a lot firmer and a little chewier than many other types of meat, and perfect for layering over with pecans. This recipe also smothers the chops in apple juice and maple syrup to make the overall taste as sweet as it can be, putting a mouthwatering spin on the basic pork chop recipe that so many of us are accustomed to by this point. 8. Roasted Beets, Plums & Pecan Salad While this recipe does use beetroot which, for some people, can be a little too strong and potent in its taste, the sweet and fruity plums, alongside the sweet aroma of the pecans even the whole recipe out to make it one of the tastiest salads you can try. If you wanted to turn this into a seasonal feast, you can even add some meat into the mix with lamb usually being the best type to use (see also "15 Best Ground Lamb Recipes To Try Today"). 9. Marrow Cake The combination of grated marrow and pecans really is a joy on the taste buds, but they both taste even better when used as ingredients in a sponge cake to keep the texture moist while also adding just a small amount of crunchiness. When topped with soft cheese frosting, this cake becomes one of the creamiest and most delightful that you can make (see also "Best Mini Bundt Cake Recipes"), and is a perfect recipe to whip up when you want to enjoy something light and refreshing that still makes use of crunchy pecans. 10. Butter Pecan Cookies Soft, crumbly, and a pure joy to bite into, these cookies can be made in just 15 minutes and use a delightful mixture of unsalted butter, vanilla extract, and pecans to make some of the most addictive cookies you’ve ever tried. Make sure to make a few batches of these small snacks as you can be sure people will be asking for seconds after that first bite. 11. Candied Pecans This is a recipe that you can guarantee the kids, and anyone with a sweet tooth is going to love. The pecans in this recipe are covered with a sticky caramel coating and then sprinkled with a dash of flaky sea salt to make the overall flavor as sweet and delicious as possible (see also "How To Make Hawaiian Sea Salt And Palm Sugar Caramel"). If you’re a little short on time and want to make use of some leftover pecans in a fun and creative way, these candied pecans are the perfect recipe. 12. Apple-Honey Pecan Muffins When muffins are toasted, they already gain a slightly more crunchy texture than usual, so by adding in a few pecans, it adds even more crunchiness and a nutty aroma to the overall taste, not to mention the honey and apples help to give these muffins a very light and refreshing taste that goes down so well in the warmer months. 13. Pecan Brie Brulee If you want a snack that’s a little saltier but still offers that nutty taste and texture from the pecans, this brie brulee recipe is made up of a medley of different ingredients to make each and every bite and explosion of flavor, especially due to the chile past which is layered across the bread (see also "How To Make Cherry Beer Bread"). On top of this, these small and bite-size snacks can be made in no time at all, making them the perfect treat to serve up at a party while they’re still warm, or even just as a late-night snack when you want something small but still very satisfying. 14. Mini Pecan Monkey Bread Loaves If you’ve never tasted monkey bread before, it is known for being soft, sweet, and sticky and consists of very small balls of dough coated in butter, sugar, and cinnamon. When you sprinkle a few toasted pecans over these loaves, it creates one of the most delightful bitesize snacks that you can make in just a few minutes. Ginger is also used in this recipe to add a tiny hint of spiciness to the overall flavor, making for an incredibly unique taste that really does need to be tasted to be believed. 15. Butter Pecan Sundae When used as part of a sundae, pecans help to add some much-needed texture to the creaminess to give you something to chew down on, and since it can be whipped up in just half an hour, you won’t want to miss out on preparing this recipe when the temperatures start to rise. Summary If you’re looking for an easy way to include some extra pecans into a delicious and fulfilling recipe, these are 15 of the tastiest that you need to try out for yourself today. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFbVjrn1PPE #food #foodporn #foodie #instafood #foodphotography #foodstagram #yummy #foodblogger #foodlover #instagood #love #delicious #follow #like #healthyfood #homemade #dinner #foodgasm #tasty #photooftheday #foodies #restaurant #cooking #lunch #picoftheday #bhfyp #foodpics #instagram #healthy #chef Read the full article

[arqueete]

New Year's Meme 2021

It's time for my annual New Year's Eve survey meme! As always, feel free to steal for yourself.

1. What did you do in 2021 that you’d never done before?

I got engaged! And ordered a wedding dress and all sorts of things like that.

I visited the Field Museum in Chicago which I've been meaning to do for a while

I went to Door County this year, which was my first time visiting that part of Wisconsin

Back on New Year's Day 2021, with the limited options for a safe activity to celebrate the holiday, we went to a kite festival and I flew a kite for the first time! We hope to make this a tradition now.

I entered something in a competition at the State Fair (which was actually a resolution of mine in 2020 that I didn't get to do because of the pandemic) and came in fourth place in my category!

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year?

My resolutions last year included: getting a new job, finishing a knitting project, making more little web projects, host dinner parties, and take art classes.

I didn't really start making little web projects in the way I wanted to and I also didn't host dinner parties on the scale I wanted to (though we had some people over!), but otherwise I knocked all of those out of the park.

In 2022, I would like to pay a little more attention to being physically active, considering my job and hobbies keep me sitting at a desk a lot. If it's reasonable with the state of things with the pandemic, I'd like to take some sort of yoga or physical fitness (or maybe hoop dancing again--the classes keep filling up!) class. I'd like to attempt one of those 30 day YouTube yoga series or some other kind of fitness challenge.

In 2023 I'm supposed to be visiting Italy so in 2022 I want to make sure I keep up with learning Italian.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Not anyone close to me. 4. Did anyone close to you die? My grandmother passed away this October. She was 97, so she got a long life and her health was declining in her final years. She died at home in her bed which is what we hoped for.

5. What countries did you visit? I traveled 90 miles down to Chicago a couple times and that made me feel wary enough in these times. I plan to lay low in 2022 as well (unless maybe things are looking up by the end of the year and we want to do an international honeymoon?) but as previously mentioned I am hoping for Italy in 2023., 6. What would you like to have in 2022 that you lacked in 2021? Last year I said I wanted to be vaccinated and enjoy a normal holiday season with my family and we very nearly got that--I'm certainly vaccinated (and boostered now!) and that's one hell of a thing to be grateful for, and we had to cancel Christmas because of a possible Covid exposure, but I spent Thanksgiving and New Year's with family. But anyway, this question is about next year: I guess I'd like a job that I enjoy. Last year I wanted a new job and I got one, but I've found that I'm really not happy there either, and maybe in 2022 I can actually find a place where I can settle for a bit. 7. What date from 2021 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? May 20th, 2021: the day I reached the two week mark from my second shot and was officially fully vaccinated. And at the time that really opened things up in terms of what we felt safe doing. I remember how surreal it was when shortly after that I went to a coffee shop and ordered a latte and sat at a table without a mask on and drank it. Now I'm once again wearing a mask everywhere and being selective about when I take part in risky activities--but what a moment that was in the midst of all of this, when we finally got that long-awaited vaccine. 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Way back in January I finished knitting my giant bug and I have showered that bug with cuddles and kisses pretty much every day since. The bug has really been the backbone of my 2021. 9. What was your biggest failure? Mostly I just think about my job. Like, I'm lucky enough to have a career that, in general, I love, and in the past it's been a source of pride and achievement in my life and this new job I got this year... I spent a lot of the year without a lot to do which is not as fun as it sounds, and then when I am busy, it's with stuff I don't feel like I'm good at or particularly enjoy, with coworkers who are difficult, and in an organization that is kind of dysfunctional... I just feel so discouraged. I'm looking for yet another job now but maybe I should've done something about this sooner or made better choices when I picked this new job. I don't know. Hopefully I will have better news on this front next year. 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? The vaccine kicked my ass so it felt like I had a mini flu after the second shot and the booster, but it was suffering for a good cause. I had a sore throat for a while in the summer which I probably should've gotten a covid test for but I even saw my doctor at that time and he looked at it and didn't seem particularly concerned about the possibility of covid--people still get colds, I guess. I got a crown on a tooth for the first time this year, though (and I'm getting a second one shortly after the first of the year...)

11. What was the best thing you bought? My fiance and I split the cost of a stand mixer which is, of course, the dream appliance. 12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My sister just got a new job after looking for a while and I'm happy for her.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Remember the January 6th insurrection at the capital? Yeah, fuck those guys. 14. Where did most of your money go? I keep a budget now so I can tell you with confidence that most of my money went to rent, followed by actually starting a Roth IRA this year (getting over my reluctance to deal with that kind of financial stuff was my "failure" answer last year and this year I did do some of that stuff!) and filling it with money I'd saved. 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I got engaged! I have an engagement ring and I'm planning a wedding and we have a venue for next fall! (I read and researched a lot about weddings this year.) 16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2021? Lianne La Havas' self-titled and especially the song "Green Papaya" (which was my top song on my Spotify wrapped this year--and also what I listened to in the car on the drive home after we officially got engaged.) Also, Sufjan Stevens and Angelo Augustine's album A Beginner's Mind, the song "Bloomsday" by Samantha Crane.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. Happier or sadder? Happier. ii. Older or wiser? Wiser. iii. Thinner or fatter? Fatter. iv. Richer or poorer? Richer. 18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Answering some of the other questions in this meme made me realize that while I discovered some great individual, miscellaneous songs from artists I didn't know before this year, I didn't dig into a lot of whole albums or discographies from new artists. I wish I'd been more exploratory about music this year. 19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Indulging in schadenfreude or snark as entertainment, like reading gossip-y subreddits and stuff like that. I think a little of that is fine in life, but this year I spent more time than I'm proud of relishing that kind of negativity. 20. How will you be spending Christmas? We canceled Christmas with family because my fiance was exposed to someone who was possibly exposed to Covid and we wanted to play it safe. Instead, on Christmas Eve my fiance made a nice chicken dinner and we opened one present together, and then on Christmas Day we gave each other stockings and presents, I made a dinner of beef tenderloin and potatoes, we drank champagne, and we watched A Muppet Christmas Carol.

21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? Since Christmas got canceled, we had a make-up Christmas dinner and gift exchange with my parents, aunt, one of my cousins and her kids (and briefly my sister.) On New Year's Day we will be flying kites in the morning (weather permitting) and then spending the evening with my fiance's family.

22. Did you fall in love in 2021? I continue to be in love with my new fiance! 23. How many one-night stands? None.

24. What was your favorite TV program? We started watching Ted Lasso together and have been enjoying that.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I followed the Josh Duggar trial and also recently finished listening to the podcast I Pray You Put This Journal Away and wow do I have a lot of hatred for some people in fundamentalist Christian cults. 26. What was the best book you read? I really enjoyed John Green's The Anthropocene Reviewed, which is a series of essays reviewing... things (like Diet Dr. Pepper, Canada geese, air conditioning, and Super Mario Kart), ending with a rating out of five stars. I would like to share with you one of my favorite bits of that book as it happens to be about New Year's Eve:

I think "Auld Lang Syne" is popular in Hollywood not just because it's in the public domain and therefore cheap, but also because it's the rare song that is genuinely wistful--it acknowledges human longing without romanticizing it, and it captures how each new year is a product of all the old ones. When I sing "Auld Lang Syne" on New Year's Eve, I forget the words like most of us do, until I get to the fourth verse, which I do have memorized: "We two have paddled in the stream, from morning sun till dine / but seas between us broad have roared since Auld Lang Syne."

And I think about the many broad seas that have roared between me and the past--seas of neglect, seas of time, seas of death. I'll never again speak to many of the people who loved me into this moment, just as you will never speak to many of the people who loved you into your now. So we raise a glass to them--and hope that perhaps somewhere, they are raising a glass to us.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? I listened to the Sleigh Bells album Treats this year and it was a bit more aggressive than what I typically listen to but I enjoyed some of that. "Rill Rill" was one of my most played songs this year.

28. What did you want and get? To finally go on my fiance's family's annual Door County vacation, which I've had to duck out of every year I've been dating him. I know it's important to him, and I had a good time.

29. What did you want and not get? We wanted to get our favorite empanada bar to cater our wedding but they never responded to our emails inquiring about it and it doesn't appear they do catering anymore :( Instead we got another restaurant we like and it'll be great, but we had been dreaming about the empanadas since before we were engaged. 30. What was your favorite film of this year? I think it was definitely tick, tick... BOOM! which I'm glad I saw in theaters (I was able to see one other movie in theaters this year--The French Dispatch.)

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 31 this year, which wasn't as emotionally difficult as turning 30 was. We had dinner at Organ Piper Pizza, which is a local restaurant where, well, they serve pizza and take requests on a theater pipe organ. Then we ate cake at my parents' house.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? If everyone in this country actually got their shit together and got vaccinated when the vaccine became available :) 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2021? The pandemic made me want to do something bold with my look and at the end of 2021 I was brave enough to get the ends of my hair dyed pink, which is the first time I've ever had an unnatural color in my hair. I was also having fun with nail polish earlier in the year, especially after getting an engagement ring. I got new glasses and sunglasses with bigger frames. I got a couple shift dresses with bold, colorful patterns that I loved. In general, I think this was a year of responding to laying low during lockdown with being a bit more brave and expressive. 34. What kept you sane? In the summer, after I was fully vaccinated, I started taking pottery classes and then got a membership at the clay studio. Learning a new skill, making things with my hands, being creative, and fulfilling something I was dreaming about during lockdown all were really helpful to me. 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I don't know that I had an obvious celebrity crush this year. There are some nice looking people in the cast of Ted Lasso that I enjoyed. 36. What political issue stirred you the most? Climate change is something I'm still really trying to reckon with and I was hoping that there'd be more happening politically this year to make me feel like something was actually being done about it. 37. Who did you miss? I miss some old coworkers of mine from previous jobs who really made my work days fun even when the work wasn't. 38. Who was the best new person you met? Maybe Liz, the woman who teaches my pottery classes, because now I know how to do pottery things! 39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2021: There's a lot of value in celebrating holidays and marking the changing of the seasons, even when things like climate change and a pandemic make it harder. I don't feel like I really did enough to savor Halloween this year, for example, and that bothered me. On the flip side, we went on a special hike the night of the winter solstice as part of a local nature center event, which is more attention than I've ever given the winter solstice before, and there was something comforting about acknowledging the changing length of the days. There's a reason this stuff has been such a big deal to all sorts of cultures over all sorts of time periods.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Our hearts overgrown, longing for peace of our own Found Heaven in you, promise to be pure and true Still mountains to climb, we will survive, still got time My partner-in-crime, hoping you'll love me 'til we die

Lianne La Havas - "Green Papaya"

[excindrela]

12 Days of Demon Ayno - Day 12 (18+)

Supernatural AU

Pairing: demon! Ayno (Noh YoonHo) VAV / Female reader

Genre: Fluff / Smut

Warnings: Cussing, alcohol consumption, unprotected sex (be safe!)

Word Count: 2752

AU: Ok. TMI: I suffer from depression which means that I either can’t stop writing, or can’t make myself write...which is why it takes me forever. And sometimes I have writing ADD (well, I have that too...) and I can write 100 words on 5 different things, but not 500 words on one thing. I’m so sorry. Really. 

This should have been done in Dec of 19. It was finished in June of 20. I’m not sure anyone is still reading this. Is anyone here? If so, and you want me to keep going, send me a message. You can send anon. If you’re still here, thank you. Really- thank you.

Demon Ayno: Summoned, Thanksgiving, 12 Days: Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Day 8 | Day 9 | Day 10 | Day 11| Day 12 | NYE | Lunar New Year

On the 12th Day of Christmas: You & Ayno Brought Each Other Joy

The week leading up to Christmas had been bliss. With the exception of a few social obligations, you’d had absolutely nothing planned- leading you to spend your days in pajamas and lazing around on the couch and in bed with Ayno. It was just like when he had arrived in October- not having to be around anyone else or pretend to be human had allowed him to revert to bad-boy demon mode and it had pretty much turned into an eight day fuck fest. It had been a whole week of pure indulgence- the words “no” and “stop” never fell from your lips, but you had uttered plenty of “yes”, “more” and “don’t stop”. It was a good thing you didn’t have to go back to work until after New Year’s Day and it was turtleneck season, because your neck was a patchwork of purples and magenta, and your inner thighs were bruised beyond belief…you felt like you existed in a permanently blissed out state.

It wasn’t the only thing you did: You braved the cold to go see White Christmas on the big screen, and again to go to the Christmas carol sing-along at the college. You had been suckered into attending a cookie exchange, and although baking was still a disaster for him, Ayno cheerfully made the dough but left the actual baking of the cookies to you…and you left the eating of the cookies you brought back home to him.

Your favorite thing by far was all the moments when you just cuddled and enjoyed each other’s company in comfortable silence; or the opposite when you talked endlessly to each other about everything. But either way, you were always wrapped in Ayno’s arms- often snuggled against his chest, breathing in the spicy earthy smell that was uniquely his.

You passed on going to your mom’s house for Christmas Eve- you were unwilling to leave Ayno at home, but you weren’t sure they were all ready for each other after the Thanksgiving fiasco. Instead you opted to spend the afternoon in the kitchen with him, drinking wine and cooking dinner, stealing kisses, and laughing uncontrollably as he would break out into random dances to Christmas carols on the radio.

The two of you went through a whole bottle of wine while you cooked plus another entire bottle of wine at dinner, and it caught up to you around 10 as you were laying on top of Ayno, who was gently rubbing your back as you watched “While You Were Sleeping”. Your eyes grew heavy, and you felt Ayno pick you up and carry you to bed. He climbed in and spooned up behind you, placing soft kisses on the back of your neck, and wrapping his strong arms around you.

*          *          *

It was a little before two when you woke up cold and alone. You slipped out from between the covers and wrapping the throw blanket at the end of the bed around your shoulders, went in search of your demon and his unnatural body heat.

You found him- sitting on a blanket on the living room floor, knees pulled to his chest and his chin resting on them, gazing up at his beautiful glowing Christmas tree.

“Ayno? You ok?” you asked softly. He unfolded himself and opened his arms, beckoning to you with his hands. You went straight to him, letting him wrap his arms around you and pull you to lay on the floor with him. “Did I wake you?”, he asked as he placed a kiss on your forehead, “I was trying to be quiet.”

“No. I was just cold…and I missed you being next to me. I know the not needing sleep thing makes it boring just laying there.”

“I do not mind. I like looking at you when you sleep. You are so beautiful and peaceful. Sometimes I talk to you…”

“I’ve never heard you…”

He smiled and spoke in barely a whisper “I am very quiet. And I speak in my language so it will seem like background noise to you.”

You giggled, “What do you say? Are you telling me demon bedtime stories?”

He laughed lightly, “I do not think we have those…our stories are not the kind of thing that helps people sleep.”

“I don’t know…you seem to help me sleep…”

Ayno smiled and gave a slight laugh “That is not because I am telling you soothing stories, it is because I wear you out…” he said as he brought his lips to yours.

His kisses were achingly soft as he lifted you and slipped your shirt off over your head. You felt the cold sting your nipples to rigid attention. Ayno cupped your breast and let his thumb graze lightly over the bud as he lowered you back down to the blanket. His hands traveled down your sides and waist until he hooked his fingers into the waist of your pajama shorts and underwear so he could pull them off as he continued down your legs to your feet. He reached down and slowly ran his hands from thigh to ankle, and cupping your heel he brought your foot to his lips, delicately kissing the ball, arch and heel before bringing his lips to your ankle bone and beginning to leave a trail of kisses along your calf, the back of your knee, and up your inner thigh. You could feel his hands running soothingly up and down the outside of your leg as he went. You giggled as he nipped gently at your inner thighs “Mmm what are you doing No?” He smiled against your skin. “I am memorizing you. So even if I spent a thousand years in the circles of hell, I would still know every line and every curve.” He skipped over the place you most wanted him to touch and instead went straight to your other inner thigh kissing and nipping and working his way back down to your foot just as he had on the other side. After he had kissed each of your toes gently from biggest to smallest, he leveraged himself over you, and starting at your hip bone begin placing kisses in an arc just above your pubic bone before stroking his cheeks on your stomach, and ghosting kisses around your belly button. You ran your fingers into his hair, thumbs brushing over his temples and cheekbones as you breathed soft sighs of contentment. While you kept wanting Ayno to rough you up a little bit now and then, there was no denying that when he loved you gently you melted under his touch. His lips continued to explore your skin as he worked his way up your body, leaving gentle touches in the valley between your breasts, and then gently circling your mounds until he placed his hot mouth over your cold nipples, swirling his tongue and sucking. He ran his hands from your hips up your sides and breasts over your shoulders and down your arms until he reached your hands, threading his fingers between yours, and lifting your hands over your head. Ayno lowered his body and positioned himself at your entrance while still gently kissing your face and neck. He pushed himself inside at a slow steady pace, until he filled you completely. He stayed there, his body was flush with yours, creating as much skin on skin contact as possible. He pressed his cheek to yours as he continued kissing and sucking your neck and earlobe as he gently thrust into you at a steady pace. You closed your eyes, focusing on the incredible feeling of his weight on you, all over you, moving inside you. Wishing there was a way to get even closer, you wrapped your legs around his hips. Ayno lifted his head and kissed you passionately. He stayed close, nuzzling your nose with his, and lips still brushing yours and leaving fleeting kisses. When you opened your eyes to look at him, the tender look in his eyes caused your breath hitch. He looked deeply into your eyes with that soul penetrating gaze he had. “Thank you for keeping me. In all my years, nothing compares to these last weeks. Nothing even comes close.”   His words left you speechless, so you squeezed his hands and brought your mouth to his, hoping you could convey your emotions in the kiss. You felt his thrusts gaining speed and getting more intense. The familiar heat began to build in your belly, your toes tingled, stars appeared in your vision and you keened softly when Ayno hit the spot that made your legs start shaking and your whole-body jolt.  Your walls tightened around him as he took you over the edge. He slowed his pace, his hands squeezing yours tightly until he thrust into you one last time. He laid there and kissed you tenderly as his body softened and he could slide out of you without overstimulating you. 

 You had no idea how long you just laid there in each other’s arms just nuzzling and kissing, but Ayno’s bond with you told him you needed some after care. He wrapped you in your blanket before he padded off to the kitchen. He returned a few moments later, pajamas having magically reappeared on his body, with ice water and snacks- which he promptly began feeding you.

 “Do you want your present now?”, he asked, looking over at the tree, barely able to contain his excitement.

“It’s not Christmas yet!”, you laughed.

He pointed at the clock. “It is three hours past midnight. It is Christmas Day.”

Technically he was right, and he looked so hopeful.

“Ok,ok! Do you want yours?”

“I get a present too?”

“Of course you get a present! Did you really think I wouldn’t get you something?”, you said with mock offense.

He grinned. “Never got a present before! ...never celebrated Christmas before either. I did not really expect anything...already have you, so I consider myself spoiled anyway.”

If any other person had ever said that to you, you would have considered it the cheesiest fake line ever...but you knew Ayno meant it with utter sincerity.

He reached under the tree and pulled out a brown cardboard gift box

“You first!”, he said excitedly. “If you do not like it, tell me and I will fix it.” He seemed a little nervous. What kind of presents did demons give exactly? You undid the bow and cautiously opened the lid. You parted the tissue paper and pulled out a long, wide scarf that had been knit in an intricate open pattern out of soft cloud-like yarn in the most luscious color you had ever seen. “Do you like it?” he asked as he took it from you and began to drape it around your neck.

“Ayno, this is beautiful! …it’s so soft! …and the color is amazing…where did you get this?”

Ayno smiled shyly, “I made it for you.”

You sat staring at him with your mouth hanging open. “You made it???”

“Mmm-hmm. There is a shop downtown called “Knitch”. It is populated mostly with women who are nearer to death than not. They practice the old arts by using sticks and hooks to make things from fibers. I liked watching them. They noticed my interest, so they showed me how to do it…apparently I am clever with my hands. Do…do you like it?”

“I love it. It’s beautiful. I’ve never had someone make me a gift… I had no idea you could do this. I don’t ever want to take it off.”

He smiled proudly. “Now I will know you are warm when I am not with you. It is made from the hair of an alpaca and an angora rabbit, so we will have to clean it carefully.” He paused as he fluffed and adjusted it around your neck. “I am so relieved it pleases you…I was afraid you would not like it.”

 You took a small box out from under the tree. “I feel a little guilty about yours now. It seems so impersonal.”, you said as you somewhat reluctantly handed him the box.

Ayno’s face glowed as he turned the box over in his hands and ran his fingers over the foil paper. “So shiny! You wrap so well. I must learn this from you.” You expected him to rip into it with the fervor of a five-year-old, but he surprised you by carefully removing the tape at the seams and unfolding the edges. He lifted the paper away to reveal the gleaming white box with the holographic rectangle and number. He looked at it curiously before sliding the lid off and staring wide eyed at the object inside. He looked at you, and back at the box, a smile slowly spreading across his face. “For me??”

“Yes.”

“It is real? I may use it?”

You laughed. “Of course it’s real. And I got it so you could use it.”

He gently lifted it out and turned it over in his hands. “It looks just like yours! It even has the little apple on it!”

“Yes- we have the same model iPhone. But you have your own phone number. I hated that we had no way to get in touch with each other during the day, and well…it seems like you’re going to be staying awhile…”

You looked up into his face, his dark eyes filled with affection. He pulled you back into his arms, burying his face into the crook of your neck beneath the scarf. You realized that for you, giving Ayno his own phone had been a practical decision…but for Ayno it was far more: he had keenly observed that couples seemed to be linked by their phones – sending texts, calling, shared calendars and lots of pictures. While you had verbally acknowledged the relationship- and your desire to continue it…to him this was a physical symbol of that: a sign that you had accepted- and desired him as something fixed in your life.

“So exciting! Now I will look like everyone else at the coffee shop!” he said grinning.

“We can set it up and order you a case tomorrow, well, later today,” you said as you watched him power it on. “…or right now…”

“Can I play Candy Crush on it??”

“Yes, but you’ll have to start back at level 1.”

He was undeterred. “That is ok. Then I will have three stars on all my levels.” he said giving you a pointed look.

“So many languages…” he said scrolling through the list to make his choice.

“Is yours there?” you asked curiously.

He laughed “I think not…although more of us have cell phones than you might imagine.”

He happily set about picking a background, chose dark mode, let it scan his face for ID, set up a passcode (your birthday), found the app store and began downloading Candy Crush and Snapchat. Then he opened his “contacts” icon, pushed the “+” sign and handed his phone to you. You typed in your name, cell and office numbers, e-mail, and the apartment address.

“No picture?” he said as you handed it back to him. “Well, it’s the picture that will take up your whole screen when I call… so I’ll send you one that wouldn’t embarrass you…or me…to have everyone see it.” you explained.

Suddenly his face lit up. He pulled you into his lap, and turned on the camera to portrait mode, flipped it to front facing, and held his arm high as he brought his head next to yours and snapped his phone’s first selfies. He smiled with joy as he gazed at the two of you: still flushed with afterglow, colored lights reflecting off his blonde hair, bright smiles and all wrapped in each other’s arms. He immediately set it as his lock screen. “You don’t think we’ve taken better pictures?” you asked looking at your happy but disheveled faces .

He shook his head, “Look at us”, he said admiring the pic again, “so beautiful- happiness…affection...look how we fit together…all that is good in your world is reflected in us here. Now I have this moment forever.”

You threw your arms around him and held him as tight as you could. His arms came around you, holding you fast against him, his fingers in your hair and his soft cheek rubbing against yours. You wished you could stop time so this feeling would never end.

“Merry Christmas, Ayno”, you whispered.

“Merry Christmas.”

[midnightactual]

Christmas

The holidays hadn’t gone as Yoruichi had intended. She had fortunately, however, drawn up her plans in advance, and so when she returned to the Urahara Shōten on the 23rd of December, she was all-business and ready to go. There was a schedule and a time table to adhere to when it came to preparations for the party.

The first question had been what day to hold the party on. Everywhere was different as to whether the main meal was on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, but after some thought, she’d unilaterally set it on the latter (with a focus on the afternoon and evening given the season and weather). They were in Japan, after all, and the 24th was usually for couples and the 25th was usually for chicken. With that matter settled, everything else followed fairly naturally. She’d never been a fan of eating turkey again so soon after Thanksgiving, and so she settled on a two-track meal.

The first track was a spin on Japan’s love of Kentucky Fried Chicken, with fried chicken five ways: 1) classic Southern country-fried chicken; 2) Nashville hot chicken; 3) Indian ‘Chicken 65’; 4) Korean fried chicken tossed in a spicy seasoning; and 5) Japanese chicken karaage. There were to be a variety of dipping sauces, like honey mustard, yogurt sauce, and spicy mayonnaise. Sides included mashed potatoes and gravy for traditional accouterments on the one hand, and on the other plain waffles, with butter, maple syrup, and various hot sauces if one wanted to mix it up and have a potentially international spin on chicken and waffles.

The second track was a fairly traditional Christmas spread, for a certain value of tradition as literally everyone’s were different. There would be both a beef standing rib roast and a Christmas ham, with sides of roasted vegetables, roasted potatoes, a salad, and a somewhat different kind of gravy. There was nothing saying one couldn’t mix and match between the two tracks, after all. In addition, there’d be gingerbread and chocolate chip cookies on offer, as well as an apple pie and a trifle. Beyond water, eggnog was (of course) de rigueur.

With all that decided, the schedule itself easily unfolded. The 23rd was to be given over to assembling Christmas stockings for the guests who’d responded in advance—although coming up with thoughtful and personal presents for everyone was a nice idea, it simply wasn’t practical given the numbers involved this year and their tastes—and making the cookies, pie, and trifle, since they’d keep well for two days.

The core Shōten staff of Kisuke, Tessai, Ururu, and Jinta (@mysteriousshopkeeper) were sent to decorate the underground study room. (There were simply too many guests and the weather was too unpalatable to hold the party topside in the courtyard.) Meanwhile Yoruichi commanded the assembly of presents and the running of the kitchen with Kouta (@the-lightning-underdog), Tomoe (@amaranthineoni), Yūno (@ice-cold-shihoin), and Yūshirō (@strcngered) as her assistants and sous-chefs. Ichigo (@ichxgo), who’d already been roped into working on wagashi with Ururu earlier, was folded into this too. She leaned most heavily on Kouta when it came to baking, sussing out the relative skills of the others as she went. This continued into the next day, as the real preparation of the meals began: a lot of chicken had to be broken down and set to brining, and the rib roast also had to be spiced and set aside in the fridge to dry out.

But the real test started on Christmas morning. Rising before the sun did, Yoruichi rallied her troops in the kitchen and really set in on her campaign of chopping, mashing, mixing, broiling, and most of all, frying. They were at work all morning and were just putting on the finishing touches before the first guests began to roll in around lunch time. There were, of course, the usual suspects already floating around. Grimmjow (@deivorous) skulked about watching the proceedings; Westly (@bleachedoracle) flitted between the two groups trying to help where he could; Udyati (@nirgama) had been invited given her appearance for Diwali and seemed to be observing with Nozomi (@neverxalone) who had just happened to pop in. The first visitors were Liz (@pure-patissiere) who—thoughtfully!—had brought her own baked goods to augment their own, and Akane (@akanekishimoto), with whom Yoruichi had her first re-acquaintance in quite a long time.

With all the food and preparation done, everything was moved to the freight elevator and taken down to the study room, which had been fitted out to hold the party proper. Finally having a moment’s break, Yoruichi and Tessai briefly excused themselves to take the precautionary security measures that’d been agreed upon, the two of them flooding the boundaries of most of the private and confidential areas of the Shōten compound with UV light and letting loose the little science experiments she and Kisuke had whipped up to guard them; they probably wouldn’t go horribly out of control. Probably. Five sigma certainty that they wouldn’t!

By the time that was done, the Shinigami (and their associates) showed up in a single big batch via Senkaimon. There were, of course: Shinji (@hirako5hinji) and Hiyori (@viciousvizard), already bantering and bickering as was their way while Rose (@semplicementerojuro) looked on; Soifon (@waspandr) and Shoyo (@maddmuses) with her plus two—apparently her boyfriend and girlfriend!—who seemed to observe the others with sighs and wariness; Rukia (@rukia-kuchiki-divided) and Renji (@wild-pineapple-butt) who were also trading their own shade and burdened down with Chappy-themed presents; Kūkaku and Ganju (@themercyless) who had tagged along for convenience; Mayuri and Nemu (@kxrotsuchi) who seemed to be scrutinizing everyone else; and the odd man out additions of Kōtarō (@windstormwielding), Shūsuke (@raikagoenkaku), and Hanatarō (@bleachintothemultiverse), who all seemed a bit perplexed, if pleasantly so rather than nervously, at least in the case of the former two.

They’d all assembled and begun to filter into the prepared area when Nelliel (@raggedyespada) appeared via Descorrer right behind, and then the Hōgyoku (@sphaeraa) simply popped into existence nearby. With all the guests assembled—at least for the moment, for who knew if any unannounced visitors might show up from Karakura (or elsewhere?); and the absence of most of the ‘kids’ was intriguing, but maybe they had other plans—Yoruichi finally called them to order.

“I kinda hate making speeches, so I’ll keep this short: thanks to all of you for coming! It’s not much, but we’ve tried to at least make it as comfortable as possible. I hope you all enjoy yourselves here. It’s a season for togetherness and making and reaffirming connections, and hopefully the intermingling of this motley crew is aided by a hearty meal and holiday cheer. Merry Christmas, everyone! Let’s eat!” she declared.

She milled about doing a meet and greet with all the others for a time while they got their meals, before finally getting her own plate and wandering off a bit to a chair to sit and eat, just… breathing that it was all finally moving on its own. Still, she watched, finding she couldn’t help but smile a little.

[talesofafangirlwithadvr]

October/November Picks

Long time no see! So...it’s been a little bit since I’ve posted a wrap up. I had all intentions of posting one after October, but then you know life gets ahead of you and before you know it it’s Thanksgiving. Not much has changed in my viewing habits for these past two months, so I thought I’d group them together for a mega wrap up. Hope you enjoy :)

Without further ado here come some spoilers.....

…..

….

SECRET SOCIETY OF SECOND BORN ROYALS

This Disney + original movie was one of my highly anticipated watches for the fall. I am disappointed to share that it was a let down. The concept was such a cool and creative one. Having the second born in a royal family not simply be the “spare” but be the protector...with superpowers! (In a very YA way, getting their powers at a specific age.) They just should have gone about the story in a better way. I wanted more time with them learning about the powers and to make the villain stronger. Overall the acting wasn’t bad (which is good for a Disney + original), but it was just lacking. The movie was LONG and yet much did not feel like it happened. It was cool seeing Casa Loma (the castle they filmed at) as I was just there two summers ago. Sadly, I will not be watching this movie again.  

VIOLETTA SEASON 3

We all already know how pumped I was when season 3 of Violetta was released on Disney Plus in September. I couldn’t believe it after waiting so long for the second season. I really enjoyed the beginning of this season and knew we would be headed down a road where I would grow tired of the storylines. 

We have hit that point. 

Quick Violetta rant. Things I am done with:

Roxy and Fausta plot

Fran and Diego being a secret

Herman and Priscilla

Pablo not at the studio

Milton being evil

Ludmilla lying

Recently, my sister is catching up to where I am in the season, so this has pushed me to watch more. I am on episode 43 and some of the above venting has been solved, so that is super exciting. I am finding myself wanting to watch it more now, so fingers crossed it continues to get better. 

JULIE AND THE PHANTOMS

Kenny Ortega has done it again! When I first heard the premise for this show and watched the trailer on Netflix I wasn’t too sure. Then both of my sisters watched it and they wouldn’t stop talking about it, so that was a sign that I needed to watch it. Since then, I have watched the show twice and can’t stop listening to the music. THIS. SHOW. :) I get the hype. It’s just so wholesome and feel good. The characters are well crafted and the episodes go way too fast. They are the kind of characters (and cast) that make you wish you were a part of the show. I can’t wait for the next season (because there better be one). Definitely add this one to your list if it’s not on their already. 

THE OUTPOST

The Summer CW shows were pushed to the fall line up due to delays in filming of the originally planned shows. I hope this means that they’re getting a little more love this year. The Outpost deserves it, as it is currently in its third season. (I think it might have gotten a little more now that the 100 is over and the commercial aired during the 100′s last season. Maybe people heard Black-blood and decided to give it a go.) This season has seen a new threat and during the first eight episodes there’s been MANY twists and turns, making it hard for me to remember how this season started. There’s been a lot of unrest in the Outpost and changes in who is in charge. While there are some unnecessary plot-lines (like that Tobin had to be married), I’m really enjoying others. Like how important Janzo is, his relationship with Ren, more Munt and that TALON AND GARRETT FINALLY GOT TOGETHER!!! It makes me so happy and is what we deserve after these three seasons. I love how strong both of their characters are and how they are both Warriors. I hope the season ends strong. 

PANDORA

Just like The Outpost, Pandora was originally a Summer CW show that is now airing its second season. I really enjoyed the first season (like more than I was expecting), so I went in with higher hopes for this new season. Unfortunately, I have been let down so far. With the first season, there were parts that left me confused and my biggest review of this show has always been how there were gaps or moments where I didn’t know how much time had gone by. Those kind of things I could overlook, but this season the overall plot just seems weaker. I think this in part because of so many new characters. I know a lot of the season 1 cast ended their characters’ plots away from the Academy, but I wasn’t expecting them not to be a part of this season’s story. That has been a difficult adjustment. I also feel like I only understand Jax’s story and not so much about the other government/rebellion points. It’s getting a little better, but I hope it gets to be more enjoyable. 

THE SPANISH PRINCESS--SEASON 2

When I originally was creating this list I had just started this season, and felt completely different than I do right now. I just finished this season last week. Much like my above review on Pandora, The Spanish Princess wasn’t sucking me in. I had a few episodes gather on the DVR. Then once we hit episode 3 or 4 and more drama was starting/Henry was starting to show glimpses of the Henry VIII we all know, I was growing more interested. In season 2 of the Spanish Princess, we do not see a loving Catherine and Henry for long. Problems Catherine have in conceiving a boy (male heir) are one of the main focal points, as is Woolsey’s growing influence on the king. With several sub-plots this season, I specifically enjoyed learning more about Meg in Scotland (as a big Mary Queen of Scots/Reign fan, I liked seeing a portrayal of her grandmother) as well as Princess Mary Tudor (who I was unfamiliar with. I loved her and Charlie Brandon’s relationship and wish we could have gotten more.) Each week I watched this show, I found myself Googling a lot. That is always one of my favorite parts of watching a historical drama based on true events. I know right now it looks like the producers aren’t continuing with the Tudor line and might have a different part of history as their next show, but I wish they would. I’m feeling the call to watch the Tudors as it’s on Netflix and I haven’t seen it before. I want to learn more about his wives. 

BLOWN AWAY

In a complete shift from a period piece, here is another Netflix show I thoroughly enjoyed watching last month. Do you find the act of glass blowing to be extremely interesting, but you would never dream of trying yourself? Or do you like competition game shows that are not like anything else you’ve watched before? Then Blown Away might be for you! It’s a very fast watch with only a handful of episodes that are about a half hour a piece. (I honestly wished they were a bit longer because it was SO GOOD!) Each contestant is a glass blower and they get to show off their skills by competing in a specific challenge. Each episode you see someone get eliminated until the final where the winner gets a residency at Corning Museum of Glass in upstate New York. This show came out in 2019 and I am hoping a second season comes out.   

LIFE IN PIECES

This CBS comedy was one that I remember loving when it first came out. But I only remember watching the first season because then I couldn’t remember which day it was on. (It’s going to sound weird, but because I don’t watch a lot on this network I often forget it exists. We also only had a one room DVR at the time, so we couldn’t tape more than 2 things. Oh, the joys of multi-room DVR). After I finished my re-watch of Derry Girls in September, I was looking for another sitcom to re-watch. This was when I stumbled on the full series of Life in Pieces on Amazon video. (It’s free to watch with Prime.) I was so surprised to see there were 4 seasons! Since then I have been watching a good amount of episodes when I sit down to watch it. Now I’m about mid way in the second season. I highly recommend this show if you haven’t seen it before. It gives vibes of Modern Family. Very short episodes that include four storylines. The format is one that I haven’t seen done before in a sitcom.

SUPERMARKET SWEEP

The revival of the beloved game show from the early 90s is now hosted by Leslie Johns and is the best thing you should be watching on Sunday nights. If you know your grocery shopping list like the back of your hand then you are all set for this show. Leslie Johns is hilarious as are the cast of characters that are regulars in her supermarket. I think it would be a great TV show to be on and I’m not just saying that because I want one of the sweatshirts (although that would be great). If you want (another) feel-good watch, look no further! You catch up on demand. 

RE-WATCHING

ANNE WITH AN E

It’s hard to believe that we only got the third season of Anne with an E at the beginning of this year (as this year feels like its been going on forever and when I watched the third season I was in a much less stressed place). Currently, I am teaching a class involving Little Women and Anne of Green Gables. The main focus is on how these stories get adapted in recent times and include such modern plots (and sub-plots). Naturally Anne with an E is perfect for this topic (and after watching season 3 at the start of the year) was one of my major reasons for choosing this topic. (The other being Greta Gerwig’s latest Little Women.) As I’ve been planning my schedule, I’ve re-watched this show. There is something so great about watching it from season 1 all the way through to season 3. You get to watch them grow up and it’s crazy to see how young they first were. Comparing it more to the novel has been a fun time, but also analyzing it more has been great and made me appreciate it even more. With all the stress of our current situation watching this show has made me escape and feel good. (Yes, I know I’ve used that word a lot in this wrap up, but it’s true.)

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Hopefully my next wrap up isn’t as delayed. Wishing everyone a happy holiday season! 

[tweedlydumbtweedlydoo]

NEW Seasonal Prompts woop woop

A/N: It is now November 1st, which means I can officially add the Winter/Christmas/New Years prompts to my list. I will STILL be taking Fall prompts during November because this is how I believe it goes ----->

October= strictly halloween/fall

November=Fall/Thanksgiving AND Christmas

December= strictly Winter/Christmas 

A/N: I still have fall/halloween requests to finish up and will get them done as soon as I can. I have been enjoying my first weekend off by doing nothing and spending time with my fiance :) But I will continue to take NEW fall prompt requests and now the Winter/Christmas/New Years. 

A/N: Because I have two lists in one place, when you send in a number (or multiple), tell me which list it is from!! 

Prompt List Credit: GOES TO @carryonmywaywardbucky​ I did add some of my own, but all credit to her:) 

Send me one, two or multiple prompts with anyone on my who I write list, which you can find HERE. :)

If you have another prompt you’d like and it isn’t on the list, go ahead and send that one in as well!! xx

**not my gifs, credit to owner ***

Christmas/Winter/New Years

1. “How many lights does one tree need?” 2. “Is that mistletoe? You know its poisonous, right?” 3. “My flight was cancelled…I won’t be home for Christmas.” 4. “Don’t you dare throw that snowball at me. I’m warning you!” 5. “Did you just pour Egg Nog on your Cheerios?” 6. “Stay. You can’t spend Christmas Eve alone.” 7. “Be careful with that one! It’s my favorite ornament.” 8. “Did you eat all of those cookies?” 9. “I can’t reach the top. Can you help me with the star?” 10. “So…do you still hate Christmas?” 11. “Woah there… have a little eggnog with your rum.” 12. “Don’t tell me you’re not cold. You’re freezing, come here.” 13. “You didn’t have to get me anything.” 14. “Tis the season, I guess.” 15. “Flour and sugar is a good look for you.” 16. “Just open it.” 17. “Holiday shopping is a nightmare.” 18. “It’s not weird, it’s tradition.” 19. “It’s not Christmas without you.” 20. “Sounds like the party is in full swing over there… are you having fun?” 21. “Christmas isn’t all sugarplums and candy canes, you know?” 22. “Looks like a white Christmas this year.” 23. “I can’t do another family Christmas alone…can you…will you come with me?” 24. “Does anyone actually like fruitcake?” 25. “When did you become such a Grinch?” 26. “White Christmas, white lie…same thing, right?” 27. “I didn’t know what to get you. You’re not exactly easy to shop for.” 28. “Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall.” 29. “You’re all I want every day…not just on Christmas.” 30. “Ho-Ho-Hold on one minute there, Santa.” 31. “What the hell is eggnog?” 32. “That has got to be the ugliest sweater I’ve ever seen” 33. “I told you I couldn’t bake, you didn’t listen” 34. “Look up, there’s mistletoe” 35. “This was my dream as a little kid, decorating a Christmas tree with a hot guy who just so happened to be my boyfriend” 36. “You should wear red more often” 37. “This is exactly how I envisioned you meeting my parents” “You envisioned me meeting your parents while running away from a flaming Christmas tree?” 38. “Tell me again, slowly this time, how the table cloth caught fire” 39. “You had the window seat on the way to Thanksgiving dinner, it’s my turn” 40. “This feels like the start of a rom com, two people stuck on a chair lift with a blizzard coming in” 41. “So you’re the one with the obnoxious light display” 42. “If I have to fake a smile for any longer I might actually commit murder so get me out of here as fast as you possibly can” 43. “My grandmother will not hesitate to force feed you Christmas cookies” 44. “I’ve always dreamed of having my first kiss on New Years Eve at midnight” 45. “Looks like we’re gonna have a white Christmas” 46. “Did you even use any wrapping paper, because this looks like it’s ninety percent tape” 47. “All I want for Christmas is you” “Cheesy” 48. “I never said I could skate” 49. “I thought a sleigh ride would be romantic” 50. “How the hell did you manage to hurt yourself putting up Christmas lights?”

[prosopopeya]

New Year’s Meme

this survey has been a tradition among my friend group for YEARS, but i haven’t filled it out since 2015 apparently. i’m not entirely sure why except 2016 was the year a lot of stuff changed for me, namely in that i finally got out of school in some form and started a new job, but i also had a few health problems that kept plaguing me (thyroid medicine being off, vitamin d) and my anxiety was all over the place. so here we go i’m doing it again and feel free to do it too if you want!!

1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? tried on wedding dresses. taught virtually. dealt (poorly) with drunk teenagers. performed in a pep rally. wore face masks all the time. i’m going to lump in living with someone. jon moved in october 2019, but i don’t think i did this quiz last year so. taught ap.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? i don’t really like resolutions. they put too much pressure on me and i am a fragile person when it comes to setting expectations and living up to them. i did want to try to read more this year, and i maintained that until the pandemic, and then just kind of gave up requiring myself to do anything but live.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? i don’t think so. a coworker did.

4. Did anyone close to you die? jon’s cousin committed suicide in march or april. the circumstances were pretty upsetting. um. andy died in february, very suddenly. andy was my high school boyfriend for four years with whom i had a very... he scarred me in a lot of ways when it comes to sex and consent. it’s taken me a long time to unpack all of that. and i struggle with how much any of that was his fault or just bc he was a stupid kid too. our mutual friends had nothing but nice things to say about him on fb. anyway. he would guilt me into saying he’d kill himself if we broke up, and jon’s cousin killed himself over his girlfriend. so that was a complex part of the year.

5. What countries did you visit? none. literally the week before the quarantine, we went to asheville to visit jon’s cousin.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? maybe a different job? or at least some peace at doing mine.

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? march 13 we cancelled classes and had a technology training day; the 15th we had another one, and then we were virtual the rest of the term. it was such a sudden shift and while i so loved working from home tbh, it was such a relief after a supremely shitty january/february work-wise, i still had a lot of keyed-up, stressful days centered around transitioning to being the senior upper school spanish teacher. i hate it!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? writing 50k in the month of november. i have literally never done that before and actively reject nano as being typically unhealthy for how my mind works, so it was nice to do it entirely by accident.

9. What was your biggest failure? mishandling the drunken teenagers on that field trip in january.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? i sit crosslegged in my virtual teaching chair and i did it so much that my ankle hurt for the entire summer.

11. What was the best thing you bought? we put a deposit on our elopement in ireland. jon’s wedding ring. (i didn’t buy my wedding dress.)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? my best friend at work who keeps me sane and is represented by benny in my au, which other than the fact that he is not my sidepiece, is perfect he is crucial to my survival at work and i love him so much. (also he is gay and the french teacher so the benny parallels just keep coming). everyone who tore down a statue in virginia (and other places, but especially monument avenue). everyone putting their lives on the line during this pandemic.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? guess! but aside from all the obvious, i found out a friend of mine at work voted for trump. my work bff and i had been trying for years to sway his politics, but that had us both deciding to give up on him.

14. Where did most of your money go?  food, ALCOHOL. god., our savings account. i did a pretty excellent job saving this year, though a good deal of that is because jon moved in and makes more money than me, and also we split all the bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? my wedding dress but strangely only when i went to try it on after it came in bc after the purchase i was so sure i’d made every mistake possible. my wedding band. wellbutrin changing my whole life. and, last but certainly not least, the gay angel and the bi(lingual) hunter. i wouldn’t have survived nov-dec in school without that distraction. the election.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2020? the entirety of taylor swift’s oeuvre this year, maybe specifically “this is me trying”

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:  i. Happier or sadder? happier, i suppose, perhaps contrary to what should be the case, but wellbutrin is a hell of a drug. ii. Older or wiser? wiser. ii. Richer or poorer? richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? reading. cleaning. exercising.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? stressing. chaperoning.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? so, an update; last year was the first year i didn’t go to my mom’s for christmas. i was supposed to see her for thanksgiving last year, but she basically told us not to come bc she wasn’t feeling up to it (cool!), and we went to jon’s for christmas and my mom’s for new year’s. 

this year, obviously we couldn’t go to my mom’s. instead, we rented a little cabin by the lake. it was perfect; it was really really nice inside, the beds were SO SOFT, the pillows were the best things i have ever laid my head on, like i took off the pillowcases to try to find the brand. we had a little tiny christmas tree with tiny ornaments from walmart that we decorated. the 23rd, we went and picked up our wedding bands. we slept two nights in the (cold) back bedroom so i could wake up and look out at the lake. it snowed for christmas. :)

we opened presents on christmas eve, per jon’s family’s tradition. on christmas eve, we also went to his family farm and sat outside and hung out a little. every year his family does like a secret santa sort of thing and i got my first present in that exchange, which is notable bc jon and i are not yet officially married. i got a remote control car -- jon’s idea bc i couldn’t think of anything, and he was so delighted to hear that i loved playing with rc cars when we went to the beach as a kid.

christmas morning we facetimed my parents and opened some presents together. then jon and i marathoned mandalorian (after spending the previous few days watching several die hard movies), and then we watched wonder woman 1984 which was a bad movie.

21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? ok LAST year for new year’s, we were in a hotel room, so that was nice, bc it meant minimal stress with my parents. i had always wanted to go to this restaurant near us that has a special new year’s menu, so we did that. the night before or after i think we went to cheesecake factory, which was also amazing.

this year currently i’m tumbling and he’s playing pokemon, and in a bit we’ll try to time it so we finish schitt’s creek in time for the new year.

22. Did you fall in love in 2020? i re-fell in love with supernatural so that was nice.

23. How many one-night stands? 0. i submit we should randomly change question 23 each year to something more relevant to any of our life experiences.

24. What was your favorite TV program? what did i even watch this year. schitt’s creek. mandalorian. i mean obviously we know supernatural. the circle. are you the one (the queer season). pose. unsolved mysteries. we’re here! perry mason. watchmen. oh maybe that mcdonald’s monopoly fraud documentary. avenue 5. i’ll be gone in the dark. of those i think my favorite maybe is... pose or we’re here.

OKAY UM. on my 2014 version of this there were a bunch of questions about tv shows that i’m putting back in if only for the memories:

25. Which TV shows did you start watching in 2020? the haunting of bly manor, which we still need to finish. derry girls.

26. Which TV shows did you let go of in 2020? HERE’S WHY I WANTED TO RESURRECT THESE. here was my answer in 2015: “supernatural. goodbye, my sweet prince.” CAN YOU EVEN FUCKING BELIEVE

27. Which TV shows did you mean to get into but didn’t in 2020? Why? so far, queen’s gambit and that one on hulu with catherine the great. EVENTUALLY. 28. Which TV shows do you intend on checking out in 2020? fleabag. queen’s gambit. 29. Which TV show do you think you might let go of in 2020 unless things significantly improve? idk i drop things pretty regularly if they don’t entertain me 30. Which TV show impressed you least in 2020? GUYS HERE’S MY ORIGINAL 2015 ANSWER: “supernatural. :(”

anyway back to the rest of the quiz:

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? every person who refuses to listen to facts and information.

26. What was the best book you read? killers of the flower moon: the osage murders and the birth of the fbi, or the his dark materials series.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? well i knew about tswift so i’m not going to count her albums. i will count this song that jon played for me once in the car that got stuck in my head for two weeks straight and led me down into a great related-songs spotify playlist: through the roof ‘n underground.

28. What did you want and get? a wedding dress and a very specific kind of wedding band. a gay angel. a christmas getaway. animal crossing.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? idk i don’t know how many films i saw this year. maybe mucho mucho amor: the legend of walter mercado

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i was 32. we went to an escape room with a BUNCH of people -- work bff, my old work bff and his wife (old bc he quit and we’ve fallen out of touch :(), the cool new physics teacher and his fiancee, and the aforementioned trump voter and his wife, before we knew... we went out for brunch/lunch after. it was pretty great!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? not having to chaperone that school trip in january. dean being bi in english as well as spanish. cas just ilke, appearing in 15x20. not having to physically go back to work this fall.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? no! real! pants!

34. What kept you sane? jon. supernatural (in a way?). animal crossing for a while. wellbutrin! i haven’t really been able to detail this yet, but finally i did something about tumblr and my therapist making me think about adhd. my doctor gave me wellbutrin (bc i lack any official diagnosis and was on anxiety meds anyway, and he was like let’s try this!) and it’s fucking. it’s a fucking godsend. surprisingly enough, my students. trying to provide them a safe space has been a calming thing for me.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? jensen ackles’ silence. misha collins again, i guess.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? the summer was so fucking intense. i guess though it was me trying to exert my influence in a responsible way with my students without trying to try to make them feel uncomfortable but then one kid was a vocally upset trump supporter after the election and i had to try to defuse that situation.

37. Who did you miss? my old work bff. several old friends that i’ve fallen out of touch with bc i have no object permanence.

38. Who was the best new person you met? people i met through the spn resurgence!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: if you manifest it in an au, it will come. no really though. maybe that expectations are only as important as i make them out to be.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: usually i have a hard time coming up with anything for this and i default to looking at my most played songs of the year. my most played song of the year received each and every one of its plays within the month of november and you can guess why. anyway see if this works

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met - the night we met, lord huron

[valyrfia]

Stranger Things 3 First Reactions

I’ve literally just finished Stranger Things 3, let’s discuss:

Definitely this was the biggest season in terms of action. It did feel like a huge summer blockbuster and while it was amazing, there is always the argument that some of the more quiet emotional moments were overlooked in favour of action

The ending...it didn’t go the way I wanted it to go, but I was actually satisfied

Of course I cried buckets BUCKETS when Hopper died, but I figured he would die when he went down to the basement and we knew if one was standing on the floor next to the drill they’d vaporise. Joyce has really bad luck with love interests

Billy was expected, and don’t get me wrong I absolutely hated the guy at the beginning of this season, but they did an okay job of humanising him. Sure I didn’t love him, but his sacrifice was somewhat touching. Hope we see his dad get his comeuppance at some point

And for Eleven to lose her father figure on top of all the other shit she’s gone through...oof. That shit hurts.

I love LOVE that Eleven was adopted by Joyce. I totally thought we were in for a lab abduction, especially with Hopper, her legal guardian, being gone, so I was so glad to be proven wrong.

We’ll finally get Will and El being siblings next season! We’ve been fighting for this from season 1! I for one am absolutely PUMPED. 

I feel like they could end Stranger Things here and I would be totally satisfied. Arc-wise, all the characters are resolved more or less, El has her family and her powers are gone, Will had to come to terms with his lost childhood, the Byers are finally moving away from the town that’s terrorised them since s1, Steve has had his full redemption, Nancy and Jonathan are going to go off to college. It feels like a really good place to end the series. Of course I am DYING for another season (I’ll put my predictions for s4 at the end of this post) but I want to end on a high, and this is quite a high. 

I assume they have a gate open in Siberia then? Or one that we don’t know about? Also Erica is so damn smart knowing full well that those cages were for demogorgans

‘The American’? Do you reckon they have Kali or one of the other numbers? Interesting. 

That being said, I’m not a huge fan that they just decided to go with the usual cliché ‘Russians are the true enemy!’ trope. Are we just going to forget about all the bad shit the American scientists did in the first place?

I feel like they really underused Will this season, Noah Schnapp is a terrific actor, probably one of the best of the kids and while he has some amazing scenes, most of the time he’s just standing at the back of the party being a Mindflayer radar. We saw what he could do in s2 and I really expected the Duffers to take advantage of that. Maybe next season.

Destroying Castle Byers absolutely killed me, it was the one scene that had me full-out sobbing. However that being said, it was a big emotional moment at the end of ep 3 and then wasn’t really mentioned again except in passing. 

Robin was brilliant, an amazing addition to the cast and her chemistry with Steve and Dustin was incredible

I loved the touching scene in the bathroom between her and Steve, I ALSO love how they used ‘The First I Love You’, the same soundtrack that was used for Mike and Eleven’s confession and the parallel to Nancy and Jonathan’s first kiss. Even though the relationship isn’t romantic, they care deeply DEEPLY about each other and Steve being an absolute ally and telling Robin she could do way better was just so heartwarming and actually made me tear up

Max was also incredible. I hadn’t quite warmed to her last season but she’s so fiery and loving and definitely is one of my favourite characters now. 

Max and El’s friendship made me smile so so much. It definitely felt realistic, despite what the reviews said. True some things were a little cliché, like them gushing over boys in magazines and trying on a million clothes at The Gap but the scene where they were spying on random people through psychic tv and where they were cooped up talking in a bathroom felt real. I absolutely loved their dynamic this season, it’s really refreshing to see a female friendship on screen again (considering the last one was Nancy and Barb?)

Tonally, this season felt all over the place. It was definitely more messy (both in terms of what was on screen AND in terms of plot) than the previous two seasons. The stakes didn’t feel quite as high as usual and the tonal shift dampened some of the really emotional scenes. 

Take the whole ‘Suzie Do You Copy?’ scene, the stakes were way high at that point and then we get a full minute and a half of a musical rendition of Neverending Story, it just felt a bit jarring and out of place. 

Also, we learnt about Russian involvement but we still know nothing more about the Upside Down, the Mindflayer or the original Hawkins Lab experiments.

I criticize, but it was still an absolute joy to watch. 

My least favourite out of all the seasons so far perhaps, but it’s still my favourite tv show

SEASON 4 PREDICTIONS

Considering Mike explicitly mentioned Thanksgiving/Christmas I’m expecting season 4 late 2020. Probably Christmas, I could see them releasing it around Christmas time. That’s also about the correct length of time it’ll take to make season 4. Also the Duffers are really big on framing the seasons around holidays. December 2020 calling it now.

We’ll see the gang reunite in Hawkins, obviously. 

The gang would have just started high school and I reckon we’ll see them start to drift apart. 

Mike will be struggling, out of everyone the two people he was closest with were Will and El. Not to mention Nancy will be gone off to college as well. 

We’ll definitely get some Will/El duo scenes and I am beyond hyped. Millie Bobby Brown and Noah Schnapp are such good friends off-screen it’ll undoubtedly carry over to their on-screen chemistry. 

It’s the duo we deserve. 

I want to see El FLOURISH. Hopefully we find out that El has actually gone to school, that she has friends...loads of friends who just think she’s a normal 15 year old girl. I want to see this. 

I hate to be THAT person...but I really hope they address Will’s sexuality. Again, as with past seasons all we got was very explicit subtext. This season is the last they can really dance around the subject. Will will be 15 or near 15 next season, you know who you’re attracted to at that point.

Not to mention that they have Robin in the mix now, someone who’s maybe not publicly comfortable with her sexuality, but has come to terms with it. A mentor figure, if you will. 

Speaking of Will in the plot sense, I do wonder whether they are going to go down the route of him having powers or not. There’s loads of clues and easter eggs about it/parallels with him and El. I was quite surprised they didn’t go down that route this season and didn’t delve any deeper into his connection to the Upside Down/Mindflayer

It would be super powerful and impactful to parallel him having to keep a secret about any potential ‘powers’ from his friends and family with another ‘secret’. In that situation, I can totally see El becoming Will’s confidante for both. But I digress.

The Russians are up to no good. Again.

We’ll definitely see Kali in some shape or form, and maybe other test subjects

There’s that American after all, I do strongly suspect that’s another Hawkins Lab subject, or past employee. 

I do hope they switch up the formula a bit for the big monster in s4, there’s only so many times you can close the gate after all. 

Either way, I want s4 now, not in seventeen months. 

TO ROUND-UP: It’s still got its charm, it’s still got its magic, it’s still got its nostalgia. Stranger Things 3, it’s been a pleasure. Bring on December 2020