#finds fucking with house's ducklings Very Fun sometimes

[marc--chilton]

(mgv) house walking into the conference room with his pupils super dilated and foreman asks straight up if he's high. house just chirps, "nope! just caught a glimpse of wilson's ass before he covered it up with a coat." and goes to make coffee

the ducklings shake their heads or roll their eyes but when wilson comes in later for his own cup -- because whatever the diagnostics team does with their coffee is more palatable than anywhere else in the building -- they all try to get a glimpse out of sheer morbid curiosity. house snorts into his mug when he sees them all, which catches wilson's attention, but when he looks they are Very Aggressively Not Looking At Him. foreman and cameron at picking through case files (cameron is holding hers up to her face so her blush is hidden) and chase is staring Very Hard at his crossword.

then wilson shakes his head, goes, "actually, i don't wanna know" before he turns to house with a "see you at lunch?"

house purrs out that "it's a date" which just has wilson scoffing out a laugh on his way out

[all-pacas]

i know everyone loves the og ducklings (and so do i), but i find the second gen so compelling, especially some of the ones that didn’t make the final cut, and i’d just love to hear your thoughts on some of the more major players in the fellowship reality show

In all honesty, I don't have super strong opinions, but I'll do what I can!

13: I talk about her a lot. I love her. :( I love that fandom now loves her, I dimly remember folks hated her (and in my archive trawling, I see a lot of it). Probably for being a woman, you know, but also for getting a lot of character focus — way more than Taub and Kutner — at a time people were still salty about losing Chase and Cameron. But 13's so fun. I like her much more… without the meme? I mean, she makes herself into a Mystery Meme, but really she's not that serious. I think she's great in S6/7, when there's no mystery and 13 is just her cute work nickname and she's joking around and having fun. I love that she quits medicine and lives in Greece. I'm not being ironic, I think her decisiveness and willingness to just make huge life changes is … sometimes not great, but also super cool. I love that she was able to just let go and do something new. I like to imagine she and Chase go on friend vacations sometimes.

Taub: I think he's great. He's so fucking funny, first of all. Like he does some of the funniest things on the show. I'll never get over him staying in the room after House tells everyone who hasn't slept with 13 to leave. He's literally just here to have a good time, he's actually a Good Friend and I like how he invites Chase over to dinner after the Divorce and how he and Foreman are besties and how he and Kutner were best friends. I love that Taub is able to befriend all these young doctors with no ego or issue; like, Wilson's a Friendly Guy but absolutely has never considered hanging out with the kids (who aren't Amber), you know what I mean? Taub is a social equal of the department heads, not the baby doctors. I like to imagine he and his wife somehow and implausibly reconcile. He's trash but he's just a little guy!!

Kutner: I admit, I find him a little… tiring? Like, I don't dislike him; I don't dislike anyone. And Kal Penn is great, and I adore the moments Kutner shows just incredible empathy. He has a moment in The Itch where Cameron is trying to get into the dude's house and Kutner stops her in her tracks and explains exactly what she's doing wrong that's just so good. Or him bonding with the girl in Birthmarks. How he just connects with people on the fringes without trying. But, and I do mean this, I do think he's a bit overhyped as like "the next and true House." He's sharp and definitely the most creative of the bunch, but he's awful at procedures and definitely has strong "new kid" vibes. After a few years he would have been a FORCE. When I say I find him tiring, I think I mean that the show at first lent a little too hard into the "haha he sets people on fire" thing. I like him as a weirdo with incredible empathy, but not a meme about incompetence.

Amber: I loved her when she was Cutthroat Bitch, I loved her going up to House like "I'm calling you Greg now as we are social equals," I loved her telling Wilson to buy a waterbed because she could advocate for herself and didn't need him to be gallant on her behalf. I wonder a lot what S4 would have been like if it hadn't been cut short. I think she would have died either way, because Head/Heart are just too good? But I think she was really good for Wilson and even for House, I would have loved to see more of that period. And I love ghost Amber, even if she's very clearly House's idealized version of her. But damn is she good.

Cole: Honestly, he sort of feels like a wasted character. He got a lot of focus, he got development, and then he was just gone. I wonder if there was behind the scenes stuff — he certainly had more focus than Taub for example. Not that I'm suggesting drama, but it is interesting how abruptly they dumped him, you know? I liked him, but I did find him sort of bland. He's another character I would have loved to see interact more with the OG cast. Cameron seemed to like him. I bet Chase would have been wildly hypocritical about his religious stuff, lol.

Brennan: I adore that he just went insane and started poisoning people. He was so normal before that, I wish we could have seen him be nuts sooner. I bet Cameron was like "omg he's in the peace core 😍" about him.

Really I love the original kids so much but I do love the new ones too, I wish we'd seen them all hang out. (I do find it kind of funny that the last ones standing are Taub and Chase. Like Park and Adams too, and 13 soooorta, but it's so weird/funny that the last two fellows over time are those two.)

[kyngsnake]

5, 20, 27 and 38 for Avery x Wes? Hier sind Kekse.

5. Who is the cheesier one of the two?

Wes, for sure. Avery can be pretty corny too sometimes, but Wes takes the cake on this one. When they were younger and Wes finally worked up the courage to ask Avery out on a proper date, he brought flowers and dressed in his Sunday best, asked Avery’s dad if he could take his son out, the whole kit and kaboodle. Does shit like kissing the back of Avery’s hand to say goodnight. Avery finds it all horribly endearing.

20. Who randomly brings home a stray puppy/kitten to adopt?

Both. The both of them are ultimately so softhearted, in their original universe setting they end up raising a dangerous mutated canine because Avery found the pup after the mother had been killed. Wes ends up raising a duckling that their kids brought inside because it imprinted on him.

27. Craziest place they had sex?

Hard one because they have a strange habit of fucking in places where they shouldn’t. Abandoned houses, riversides, barns, truck beds… etc etc. On top of the operating console in a military command center, I think.

38. If/when they have kids, what is their parenting style (or pets-who does what)?

Wes tends to opt for gentle but firm guidance and being a little more of an authority figure than a best friend. That isn’t as to say he isn’t affectionate with their kids, because he certainly is. Especially once they hit their teens he tries to be a little hands-off so they can make their own decisions, but makes himself accessible to them if they need support. Good at calming a kid down from a breakdown. Wes is also great with little kids, has the patience and kindness for toddlers doing toddler stuff.

Avery is the dad who’s also his kids’ best friend. He’s very good at listening to kids gossip and talk about their problems— this makes him especially good at handling teenagers. He’s not quite as good at Wes is at discipline. Especially once he’s older, he’s very aware that he used to have a short temper and sometimes overcompensates. Still, he is The Fun Dad.

Wes as always belongs to @hotwifeluigi <3

[gustingirl]

not rlly absurd but here we go

no matter what, wilson is a better cook and baker. the days they dont do takeout are the days wilson whips up a fantastic meal. house is endlessly and vocally jealous

wilson and cuddy (and sometimes ducklings, depends on seniority) have regular talk-shit tea parties. house is not invited but he knows about them and tried to spy once. they ended up sacking him with the bill and everything he heard was decoy conversation (did you know that the barnacle relative to its size-)

house helps wilson learn spanish by refusing to speak to him in english for days on end (and will torment the ducklings just for fun the same way) and takes full advantage of wilson's limited vocab to pepper him with affection. this backfires very quickly as wilson learns

while wilson encourages but doesnt participate, house is a closet musical theater nerd. pretty cool when his mayfield roomie alvie wrote that blockbuster broadway show about a founding father

wilson has stuffed animals and hes almost one hundred percent convinced house does too but to this day the evidence is circumstantial at best

they have both literally slept together on wilson's office couch during all nighter hospital stays and sometimes find excuses to do so before and during their relationship

the stint with the 82yo woman with syph (s1e8) lets say,, inspired house to write poetry. rlly intentionally bad poetry. he leaves sticky notes of terrible lines all over wilson's side of the bathroom. to this day wilson has never told a soul and has kept all of them

oh my god you're a fantastic human being and i love you, let me go in parts

they definitely have like cooking competitions and house is way more petty so whenever wilson cooks something delicious he has to pretend he doesn't like it

SO TRUE, remember that episode where house thought wilson and cuddy had fucked and wilson kept on fooling house about it? same shit, house would go to wilson to "corroborate" tea he had heard and he would be fooled every single time

i would have paid for one episode where house does not speak a word in english just to mess with everybody. i love the idea of wilson and house being competitive

LMAO NOT HAMILTON OMG and considering hugh was the inspiration for "you'll be back", then house was alvie's inspiration. house is definitely a musical theatre junkie but won't admit it bc he knows wilson will mock him

house definitely has stuffed animals bc wilson keeps on gifting them little ones and he can't throw them away but he also can't show wilson he keeps them so he hides them somewhere. when wilson brought it up one dinner, house had to start changing the hiding spot because wilson is always close to find them

but what about when the ducklings catch them? they come up with the most absurd excuses, at least house does. wilson can’t figure anything out so when cameron asks him in private he just confesses

ok but wilson doesn't even tell house about them, until one fight where house says wilson never cared about their relationship, wilson shows him all the post its he has been saving since day one.

then they have sex.

please send me more, you just made my day

[uniquevocashark]

Tea and Ice Lattes

Part 2

tw cussing and mentions of pain

...

Rosalyn relieves you of work immediately after the Countess leaves, and Maxwell spreads the salve on you before you can bloody your cheek.

“Hey,” he snaps his fingers in front of you and you jolt upright. “Hey, stay with us.”

You look around and find that the back room is trashed, the chairs thrown about and the table flipped over. Rosalyn has your arm trapped against the wall, your fingers twitching back and forth. You open your mouth to speak but your jaw aches so bad you snap it shut.

“Here.” Rosalyn murmurs, and spreads a bit more salve on your face. Your eyes water but the pain fades eventually. “You should go home until this heals.” She counsels, letting go of your arm slowly.

You rub your cheek and wince.

It takes longer to heal than you think it should.

The first three days you’re never far from an ice pack and you burn through three quarters of the salve before the pain cools. Rosalyn checks up on you those days, often with jars or bowls that someone left for you at the store of foods so soft you can suck them up a straw. After that, Maxwell takes her place, though he doesn’t stay long.

A week after your incident, he comes by with a large purple box, wrapped with a ribbon softer than anything you had in your house. The card stuck to it was equally as soft and shone like spun silver under the light.

“Hey,” You greeted him, “What the fuck is this?”

��Yeah.” He laughed uncomfortably, then handed the box over. It’s too large to fit under your arm, so you end up carrying it like a forklift with your arms out and palms up. You wonder how he even managed to carry it up the stairs, let alone fit it through the doorways.

Your name is written in large, loopy cursive on the letter, in letters too large to have been comfortable to write with a normal sized hand. “Do I need to worry about this?”

“Oh, nah,” He shrugged, “We did the cat test, and it turned out fine.”

“The cat test?”

“Yeah, the cat test.”

“Elaborate, please?”

“It’s an old superstition about the Dimitrescu’s. Nothing dangerous,” He assures you when you look at the box suspiciously, “We rubbed a couple cats on it.”

“You rubbed cats on the box?”

“Yeah. We held them up like Simba and rubbed them on the box.”

“Alright then,” You say, “Which one is it from?”

“I don’t know,” He paused, checking his watch, “hey, I gotta go. Adrian and I are going on a lunch date.”

“Oh, right. Have fun!”

“Yeah. See you later.”

…

By nightfall, after you’ve managed a dinner of chicken nuggets and creamed corn, you still haven’t opened the box. It’s very picturesque unopened, like those aesthetic photos you see sometimes. The letter, too, is very nice, with a proper wax seal to close it.

It smells distinctly like the Countess, which makes your face itch so badly you have to flee to the kitchen and get the salve to calm yourself down. You make yourself a coffee. It isn’t a good thing to do, especially so late at night, but you drain two cups before you can force yourself back into the lounge.

The letter isn’t anything special though, or particularly harmful. It’s a long three pages of an obvious copy paste offering all kinds of platitudes and condolences that don’t really have anything to do with you. The only thing of note is the handwritten note at the end, which differs from the mechanical writing of the letter with thick cursive in red ink.

To whom it may concern,

I hope this gift will convince my errant daughter that my apologies to you are sincere, and that I didn’t mean any truly debilitating harm to a lovely creature like yourself.

With my full regards,

Countess Dimitrescu

“Creepy.” You say to no one and through the letter back on the table.

You take the lid of the box and are met with a mountain of velvet. Beneath the lilac layers is a set of teacups and a finely filigreed book. The book is an 1898 version of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, which is a little on the nose, considering the Dimitrescu family history.

The teacups though are too large for you, more like a soup cup than anything, painted delicately on each of the sides are birds. One depicts a duck, another a hummingbird, and another a kingfisher. They’re a little impractical, especially since you don’t drink tea, but they are lovely.

Hidden in one of the teacups is a bundle of duck fluff and feathers and a small portrait of a very happy duck in a finely made suit.

…

You decide to treat the teacups like a white elephant, because they are no doubt expensive, and you want to have them sit around for a little bit before you use them. The book is even worse to look after, because you have no idea how to keep it pristine and end up keeping it along with the duck portrait in the box.

Thursday rolls through with a lazy breeze and light snow. It’s spring, and the icicles on your windows are a little smaller than they were yesterday. Maxwell comes by practically glowing, and he spends the walk to work gushing over his boyfriend. They went a town over to have lunch, where the place was built half in the woods and half out of it.

You’re barely into the rhythm of work before you’re swamped. It is nice to be able to do something again, that isn’t scratch your cheek and watching the same series for the fourth time, so despite the heavy work load you find yourself smiling.

Today must be a special day too, because Alcina walks in around one, wearing a perfect purple pantsuit and sleek black and red heels. She seems surprised to see you, and her smile is more genuine than she usually directs at other people.

“You’re better.” She says by way of greeting, leaning forward more so than usual as she stands at the counter.

“I am!” You smile, straightening your apron, “Your usual today?”

Her chest gives a little peep. You peek lower than you usually would and see a duckling in the fold of her jacket, its beak peeking between her fingers. Alcina clears her throat, her smile a little more sheepish, “That was a yes.”

Her duck peeps again and she remains by the counter, watching you make the drinks.

“Archibald,” You hear her admonish quietly, her voice thick and disappointed, “That is very naughty, young man.”

Archibald peeps quietly again, and it sounds cheeky. You glance over and see Archibald held to her eye level, her lips pursed, and eyes narrowed.

“Are you taking it to go?” You ask after a second, not sure if interrupting is rude or not.

“No,” She says calmly, at odds with the face she gives her duckling, “Here is fine.”

You look at her a second longer, the way her face isn’t drawn or tight. Alcina languidly strokes the top of Archibald’s head, and she seems calmer than the last time you say her.

She catches your eye, “Yes?”

“Oh, nothing.” You smile and she looks away.

…

“I wanted to ask a question.” Alcina says as she comes up to pay.

“Yes?” You reply.

“Would you accompany me to an event this weekend?”

You deposit the money into the till. You weren’t, precisely, busy. Being cooped up at home for the week with nothing to do meant that you had powered through your household chores. Archibald, as if he could sense you debating, waddled towards you on the counter and shook his little tail feathers. He was from a large breed, almost twice as large as your hand, and he nudged at your fingers until you pet him gently.

“If it’s on Saturday, then yes.” You say.

Her fingers shook for a second and her voice was smooth as cream as she whipped a pair of black glasses onto her face. “Excellent. I’ll pick you up at ten on Saturday?”

“From the store,” You say quickly.

Alcina scooped Archibald into her hands, “Yes! Yes, of course.”

You gave her the receipt. “I’ll see you Saturday then.”

“Yes, Saturday.”

She strode from the store more quickly than you’ve ever seen her move. You looked at Maxwell and he looked at you before cracking a smile.

“Holy shit.” He laughed, “She asked you out.”

“I guess she did.” You say lightly.

He wiggled his eyebrows. “Somebody has a crush.”

You flip him off.

[thekinkpopstandsforkillme]

It’s been 109 days days since I asked hehe do you by any chance have the pairing written up yet? I’d love to finally be able to start your work..💕

Not gonna lie... I forgot this wasn't being posted... I really thought I had already posted it...

ANYWAY, part 1 of 5!!

This is being viewed as dom v sub relationships between them, so this is implied 18+ i guess???

chan/minho

* chan is minho's baby!!!! Minho caregiver 100%!!!!

* Chan needs someone to take care of him bc he gives and gives and gives bc he doesn't know how to Not Do That or Stop Doing That

* so Minho gently turns that into Chan being able to Let Go for a second, to Breathe.

* Minho makes sure Smexy Nights focus on chan recuperating and not having to deal with the responsibility of seven other lives

* but also, let's be honest!!! sometimes. things switch up. bc minho is Wine Mom of the group and deals with the Secondary Issues and things get hard!!!

* even then, tho... minho is still hyper aware of chan and tries to make it easier for him

* but yeah. minho absolutely just. takes away everything for chan. and chan loves him so fucking much

* i feel like their dynamic is very push and pull. stable in the way that they are each others rocks but fluid in the way the waves change and bend and fold.

chan/changbin

* changbin needs a good cry sometimes, ya know?? and chan gotta hug n smooch things better 🤷‍♀️ i don't make the rules, i just enforce them idk what to tell you

* chan has to be rougher with him tho. Like. Love wise.

* not necessarily rougher sex wise but definitely rougher love wise

* bc like. changbin is going to Need That Type of Reassurance.

* changbin is def the type of person (at least w chan) that can't always have the soft words

* chan: LISTEN!! TO ME!! 🗣🗣🗣 YOU ARE L O V E D AND B E A U T I F U L AND YOU DESERVE TO E A T AND STAY H E A L T H Y AND IF I HAVE TO BEAT UP YOUR BRAIN IN ORDER TO LOVE YOURSELF THEN I W I L L

* changbin, as his lizard brain activates: oh yes plz brain being dumb need hold

* i feel like their roles really don't flip

* changbin is very much in need of someone to take care of him in the way chan can and they love each other so v v much

* i definitely feel like chan would be more inclined to give his thoughts to changbin without sugar coating things and i think that's super important in their dynamic and it leads into their bedroom life as chan forces changbin to continuously communicate with him

chan/hyunjin

* okay listen. It changes. Hyunjin is too used to bouncing around in order for their dynamic not to as well

* in the way of: chan is still the dom whether he is top or bottom, but their positions change

* bc hyunjin needs control sometimes and je finds it in topping and feeling like he has the power in the situation without actually having the power.

* he's so afraid of it, of himself, and he and chan are working on it, but still

* it's hard.

* but also. Sometimes. Hyunjin just needs chan to wrap him in his arms and squeeze him and help him forget the rest of the world.

* chan is willing to give and give and give until there’s nothing left of himself, but he’s also willing to take and take and take until hyunjin doesn’t think life hurts as much

chan/jisung

* they're soft. so soft.

* and giggly.

* and touchy.

* neither of them would be able to take anything seriously. grinning like fucking idiots while their teeth bump, which only serves to make them laugh harder.

* chan would be the top (and dom), but if jisung is feeling spicy, who is chan to deny him?

* and jisung wouldn’t be able to let go of chan. they’d be touching c o n s t a n t l y. and chan 100% indulges him at any moment

* even so, jisung is Tired Constantly^tm, so he Does Not Do Work Ever^tm

* but he likes being babied :((( let him be babied :((((

* i just feel like it would be fun, ya know??? like they’re best fucking friends above all and they’re cute and in love and they just wanna make e/o happy

* and chan would be super good about making sure both their sex life and their non-sex life stay healthy

* by that, i mean: he would be super careful not to diminish his sexual relationship with jisung to a reward system attached to his mental health

* he'd be super careful that jisung doesn't think they're only having sex bc he isn't feeling well or bc he's feeling better and that he's undesirable when he's not feeling well

* and i think that's super important in all relationships but especially in a relationship like theirs (esp bc i think jisung has really bad rejection sensitive dysphoria)

chan/felix

* baby duckling imprints on mommy duck energy

* like felix does a little !!!!🥺!!!!!

* have you seen fruits basket??? where haruhi is watching over kagura??? and kagura just [is baby] and haruhi just [drops everything!! squeals, hugs, dotes!!]

* yeah that’s them

* felix: [says a single word]; chan: holy shit take my soul just- just take it, no don’t worry about it, here take my wallet too oh my gosh you want food??? i’ve got some in my backpack.

* chan = soft dom, felix = the babiest. like. THE babiest.

* and don't get me wrong-- i'm not trying to infantalize anyone in any situation, i just feel like this is the type of person felix is. he needs constant reassurance and physical affection and blatant, direct acknowledgements to understand that he is enough and doing well

* with this in mind, felix 100% wants to be called good and sweet and pretty and loved!!!

* and chan is INDULGENT. AS HE SHOULD BE.

* and the aftercare??? a straight fucking HOUR of chan holding felix n rocking them back and forth and promising felix that He Is The Best Ever

chan/seungmin

* okay, well, i have a l w a y s headcannoned seungmin as ace

* (shut the fuck up I'm not projecting, you're projecting.)

* despite that, nonsexually, seungmin= biggest bottom ever

* chan= biggest service dom ever.

* that man is wrapped around seungmin's fingerrrrr

* seungmin wants him to walk away from dinner???? Done. Bring him apple slices in bed???? Absolutely. Carry him through the house For No Reason??? Bitch you KNOW it.

* even so. Seungmin is too Good to (truly) abuse the power he holds despite knowing chan would walk to the ends of the earth for him

* so chan tries!!!! But seungmin says 🙅‍♀️ and chan says 🥺 and seungmin goes hhhhhhhhhh okay but just this once!!!! bc he is Weak As Well

* all this to say, i think they have a very give and take relationship

* and neither of them want to take bc they're scared so they keep giving and giving and giving

* and idk maybe sometimes those clashing personalities start a fight, but they work it out in the end and try to do better, to take as much as they give, to realize that it isn't selfish, isn't bad, to let the other take care of them.

chan/jeongin

* jeongin brat. try to tell me otherwise. SIKE! YOU C A N ' T!

* but in the way where chan goes "!! Take care of yourself!!" and jeongin goes "😂 that's cute that you think I'll listen to you 💕 make me."

* spoiler alert: chan does.

* sometimes, ya gotta pin your s/o down and get them to drink water and eat and love themself.

* it's kinda like holding a cat that likes being held but makes you fight for it (in a healthy and non-oppressive way)

* but you'll "fight" them for it bc you love them!! and you'd do anything for them!!

* and you know that they only fight you bc they feel like no one ever put them first in their life so they know if they make you work for it and you DO stay and keep trying, it means you actually do love and value them

* and that's on trauma 😎

* so yeah. Chan will take the challenge. Bc he loves his traumatized s/o

* and i think that's super important as well, recognizing your partner's trauma and taking it into account without diminishing them solely to their trauma

* and chan does a good job of that both in and out of their bedroom

[acefrogmonarch]

Headcanons pt. 3

To get thus out of the way. I feel like Hinata wouldn't have as much pressure in the next life. Sure she might compete in the same things like Neji.

But wouldn't be ridiculed about it because she was very honest about it with her father.

Lunch - High school

Itachi sometimes skips college or his police academy and just sits on campus with them. He brings enough for everyone if he remembers them. But it’s fine because both Neji and Itachi text each other and plan ahead, just in case.

No one notices that these seniors are having lunch with sophomores. But then again, everyone looks like a senior in that group to the student body and staff.

The cafeteria was their place in the winter because it was too cold to go outside. Every other season was set outside in the courtyard. They have a place deemed “theirs” and refuse to share it with others. Absolute will fight anyone that goes near their table.

Naruto does football but only quarterback because he’s there to only throw.

He has a ‘dog’ named Kurama and always plays frisbees with him. Because it feels like throwing a shuriken. Naruto does tricks with them. Like throwing two at a time and trying to go the other direction but it never works out.

Sasuke does Track. Other things like Hurdles and long jump.

Naruto, at some point: So sasuke runs from his family and his gay problems.

Tenten versus Lee in any Martial arts. Usually mixed, but if they want any specifics, tae juan do is a good stress reliever, for Tenten.

Competitive archery Neji and casual archery Hinata. Neji also does Kendo along with Hinata; She still presses flowers in her journals.

Sakura would definitely be in S.T.U.D.C.O. like office aid, student rep, or any sort of authority position. She was left spiker until she became the Ace of the Volleyball team. Tried to do softball and hated it, then she joined the mixed baseball team and loved it.

Ino would definitely have been in every single program, at least once. Orchestra first, band next, Choir sometimes, did gynanism for fun. Hates cheerleaders, does step team.

Sai is a punk as bitch for any art club. All if not most of his artwork are in the library hung up.

Shikamaru hangs out with juniors that have a steady supply of marijuana. But he also enjoys a good cigarette more than marijuana because that shit fucks with him.

Choji hangs out in the culinary hallway with his girlfriend Karui, because she aspires to be a chief. The culinary teachers also know Choji because they let him eat the leftovers and he suggests new and exciting flavors for them. It’s usually good but sometimes there’s a bad batch.

Kiba would be like the kid you go to or one of the kids that has a side business, within the school. Like he has snacks, school supplies, or marijana. He’s your go to guy.

Kiba has Akamaru as a service dog within the school, since he cant sneak him in without being spotted. He was approved with a doctors note.

Shino likes computer programming. The essence of computers and how smoothly a program could run makes him feel accomplished and so happy. And when he finally gets it? Oof. Euphoria. 

He sometimes does web coding for fun and fucks around with his tumblr page.

Shino and Shikamaru both have a mutual respect towards each other. Because Shikamaru has this uncanny ability to find bugs and crash games on PC.

Naruto surprisingly built the PC for him, he manually updates new parts and makes sure everything is good to run. Shino makes mods for his games, like GTA V, Minecraft, GMod.

They stream it sometimes and it's just great content for themselves.

It used to be San Andreas but the game kept bugging out all the time, so they updated to V.

Sometimes both Naruto and Hinata dip the group during lunch to visit their little siblings. By blood or not, they both deeply care about their younger siblings. Naruto goes through the forest to visit Honomaru. While Hinata goes down the grave path and enjoys the creeks, nature around her.

They both end up at the same school regardless of how much it takes the other to get there but they both enjoy seeing the faces of their respected siblings. And it’s all worth it in the end.

Their missing hands.

Sometimes when Naruto is away in College he completely forgets that his right hand is perfectly fine and not at all gone, damaged, or artificial. So he just doesn’t use it until someone questions why he couldn’t grab something and they point out his arm.

Shikamaru: Why can’t you use your hand?

Naruto: Huh? What are you on ab-

Naruto finally notices his arm and lightly squeezes.

Naruto: I thought I lost it in the war.

Shikamaru: Wha-

Naruto: But I got my brother back. Where’s sasuwuke?

Shikamaru: Naruto, you saw him just yesterday.

Naruto: Yesterday! Why didn’t he visit me today?

Sakura: He’s a block away, Naruto. How about you visit him?

Naruto: That asshole! I thought he was still at the Wave village?

Sakura: No you idiot, he just sent a letter last week, he’s in the Sound now.

Again, once out of the trance, both are very confused. 

Hinata and Sasuke marry. Well almost. Both Sasuke and Hinata are very private and didn’t want to tell anyone about the engagement but have spent a couple of months planning. And when the subject of her wedding dress came up.

Hinata: How about a kimono, like before?

Sasuke: Huh?

Hinata: Yeah, like my wedding with-

Sasuke and Hinata look at each other and realize that they were about to marry the wrong person.

Hinata: D-do we continue?

Sasuke: I mean we don’t have a date, and the invites aren’t out yet. No one knows about this and we aren’t exactly marrying because we love each other.

Hinata nods in understanding and sighs deeply.

Hinata: Then who am I supposed to marry? And what am I supposed to do with the ring?

Sasuke: I don’t care as long as I get my sword.

Hinata: Yeah, whatever you want teme.

Hinata immediately realizes who she was supposed to marry and so does Sasuke.

They call up a certain pinkette and blonde and set up a meeting.

Hinata, still knowing her gentle first, from memory and will abruptly start training. If everyone tries to stop her, she takes it as a challenger and will fight them. She stops once Neji is there.

Hinata Hyuuga or Hinata Hyuga. She often calls the wrong punctuation for the Hyuga estate.

It's changed to only one u.

Since Hinata’s mother, Hana, is alive, they didn’t set a garden in her honor.

Hinata: Where’s mother’s garden?

Ko: Her what?

Hinata: Her garden, because she died.

Ko: U-uh, Hinata-sama.

Hana comes out to see what is taking them so long: What sweetie?

Hinata looks at her mother and smiles softly. She looks around again and tries to look for her training trees.

Hinata: Where’s my tree?

Neji follows soon after: What tree?

Hinata softly smiles but looks at the bow and arrow that is in his hand. Having come back from training, Neji is still in his gear and sets Hinata out of her trance.

Tiny Hinata misses her flowers. She does replant her garden but she also scared the ever living crap out of anyone because of her ominous message before.

Neji and Hinata accidentally outing each other's sexuality. While at the mall, they both notice an attractive couple and look at them approvingly. Then they turn to each other and nod their head in understanding.

Hinata: The Girl, right?

Neji: The Boy, right?

Now they often tease each other about boys and girls alike. Sasuke is often caught up on the teasing.

Since it’s mostly done in sign language and he can’t help when he notices the straight face that Hinata makes when she signs. “Gay sex” and points at Sasuke.

Neji curses and walks away, then Tenten, Lee and Hinata are following Neji like ducklings. All signing "Gay sex" Sasuke is losing his mind.

BI hinata and Neji.

Family reunions with the Uchiha!

Since there was no big massacre, everyone sort of lives and drives everyone up the wall with their attitude.

Sasuke can’t handle them so he brings Naruto. And everyone kind of loves Naruto, so they accept him as an honorary Uchiha.

Adult life?

Because I get that Hinata and Naruto married at like 21 and had boruto a couple of years later. So I really want Hinata to have followed the same feeling except a couple of years earlier. Same with the other girls and their pregnancy months. Because that’s hilarious. 

Neji and Tenten finally get together and him not dying. Just the potential wholesomeness about that makes me happy.

No one knows who the fuck Rock Lee hooks up with. Like he dips for 2 years and comes back with a baby named Metal. Tenten is super worried because Rock has a kind of pure innocence to him, in regards to sex.

Tenten: Did you get roofied? Are you okay? How did you end up with a kid?

Rock: What’s a roofie? Is that a drink?

Tenten: Kind of, but don’t worry about it.

Neji: What’s with the kid?

Rock: He’s my son, say hi Metal!

Metal is a baby and gurgles at them. They are very shocked, but not surprised. Because it’s Rock Lee. A musclehead that doesn’t want to stop training.

So anything is possible

Childhood ?

Naruto has his parents, Tsunade, Jiraiya, Kakashi, Obito, Rin and many others. In this life but one time when he woke up to the house being empty, he just started crying.

16, very confused and just sits for about an hour in one spot holding his crystal necklace. His Mom walks in with groceries, with his Father right behind her carrying more groceries.

Naruto: Oh thank god, I thought you guys died again.

Kushina: What, no, never again! Right Dear?

Minato: I’m not going to sacrifice myself again anytime soon, if that’s what you’re worried about.

Breaking out of the trance, they question themselves and their memories. More so, their past life.

Sasuke abruptly hates Itachi and sometimes tries to kill him in his teenage years.

Sasuke: You bastard! How could you do that to our clan!

Itachi: Foolish little brother. You still haven’t caught up to me.

Sasuke is in a kenta stance but nothing is in his hand and itachi is very confused as to why he is staring at Sasuke with his hands in a very weird hand symbol.

[peachymhaechan]

“How could you not know?”

Genre: angst to fluff 

Warning: language, underage drinking, drug use, mentions of sex 

Pairing: Haechan x female reader 

I’m sorry but this gif killed me so now you all have to suffer with me:) love you, babes!!

you and donghyuck had been best friends for as long as you could remember

you had gone to the same elementary school but didn’t really talk until middle school

the first time y’all had talked to each other was a full on roast session

he walked up to you with a few of his friends and went, “who let you out of the house with that shirt?”

oh no, sis

he did NOT just say that to you

“who let you out of the house with that damn attitude? fix yourself before you try and come for me, dumbass.” 

and that was that

he looked at you with wide eyes and a blush on his face and he was Sold

you owned his ass and he owned your ass from that point on

you two became inseparable pretty quickly

anywhere one would go, the other would follow

that included parties, sleepovers, vacations, etc

your parents loved hyuck so much

they loved him like he was their son

sometimes you would have to stay after school and you’d get home to find hyuck sitting at your dining room table with your parents, eating dinner and gossiping like he was part of the family

anyways

you and hyuck were very close, the definition of best friends

as a result, you both had the same friends for the most part

it was senior year and most of your friends had left and gone to college, but you had a solid group of friends: renjun, jeno, jaemin, Chenle, and jisung

Chenle and Jisung were your freshmen babies okay

haechan was like their dad and you were Mom™️ 

full on Mother

one time some little freshman bully tried being mean to your boys

the entire friend group (aka Dreamies) were not putting up with it, but you went fucking ape shit

you dead ass found him after school in the parking lot

you waited in your car for three hours for the dick to be done with baseball practice so you could kindly talk to him:) 

and by that I mean scare the ever living shit out of his bitch ass

to make a long story short, you basically said that if he ever tried to talk bad about the boys, talked to the boys, looked at the boys, or even breathed near the boys you would show up at his house at three in the morning and cut his dick off and tape it to his forehead, then everyone at school would call him a rated r unicorn :)

needless to say, the boy started crying, ran home, and jisung and Chenle never dealt with him again!!

so one day you were driving your children to school

hyuck was in the passenger seat with the aux, jamming out at seven in the morning, how the fuck did he have so much energy?

the other boys squeezed in the back (very illegal, pls don’t do this!! not safe at all, babes, pls be good drivers and follow the laws of the road and be conscious of your safety and the safety of those around you!!)

you stopped at the local coffee shop bc hello?? tired teenagers trying to make it through the day

so y’all drank your coffee and jammed out to shitty early 2000′s pop while on the way to school

when you pulled into the parking lot, nobody wanted to go inside 

I mean,,, it’s school, who tf really wants to go to school when you don’t have to

so yall waited in the parking lot until right before the bell for first period rang

during that time, hyuck took the opportunity to tell everyone about a college party mark had invited everyone to

“what??”

“mark told me to invite all of the Dreamies to a party that him and his friends are having, and-”

“A college party?”

“Yes, and-”

“Where there will be alcohol?”

“Well, yeah, and-”

“No way.” 

you stood your ground (at first) which made everyone upset

“But Y/N, we want to go!” a chorus of whines answered you

“No way, you’re all too young, and I don’t want to have to drag your bitch asses home when you get plastered,” you argued

“Y/N we are literally the same age,” Renjun, Jeno, Jaemin and Hyuck all said at the same time

“Okay but who drives y’all everywhere? Who gives y’all the answers to the homework? Who fakes your parents’ signatures to get y’all out of school early? Who helps you when you are injured and becomes a nurse? Who lets y’all take over my house when my parents aren’t home? Who cooks y’all food all the time? Who stands up for y’all when people try and be mean?” 

radio silence was the response you got

“That’s what I thought. We might be the same age, but I take care of you guys all the damn time, and most of the time, nobody notices. Plus, Chenle and Jisung are fucking babies. There is no way in hell they are going to a college fucking frat party.” 

for a couple of days, you had won that argument

but then you were facetiming hyuck one night at two in the morning and he managed to convince you otherwise

“FINE FUCK OKAY, WE CAN GO TO THE PARTY” 

cue his squeal and “thank you thank you thank you!” 

the next day at school you told the boys to be ready in time for the party

“if you’re not ready and at the door when I get to your house, you’re not going. You can walk,” you told them, still a very strict mom

they all were very excited obviously

bc I mean,,, wow very cool, high schoolers at a college party?? wow very cool

the days leading up to the party were normal

for you, at least

normal drives to school, normal things during school like sleeping through college algebra, skipping class with hyuck to watch Netflix in the basement janitor’s closet, and normal drives home from school, normal dinners with hyuck and his parents, and normal facetimes at one in the morning with hyuck

like I said earlier, you did everything with that boy

no wonder so many people at school thought you were dating

I mean, that and the whole holding hands and hyuck kissing your cheek and hyuck constantly clinging to you thing

but ya know sometimes a homie just needs a kiss on the lips😔🤠 

but then the day of the party came and all the boys could talk about was what they would do at said party

“What do I wear?” Jisung asked

“Wear that cute little umbrella hat and your “mommy’s little angel” shirt, dumbass. you wanna be flexin on them hoes, don’t you?” you replied

“How do I not get drunk but still drink?” Jeno thought out loud

“Drink water, fool,” you answered in typical mom fashion

“I’m scared, what if there are scary college kids there that make fun of me?” 

“Then Y/N starts a fist fight and we leave the party early, no big deal,” Hyuck told a worried Chenle

anyways

it was time for the party

and you were lookin cute or whateva

so you left the house- an EMPTY house bc parents were out of town, YEET

first stop: bitch ass hyuck’s

you honked the horn to let him know you were outside and he ran outside with two bowls of ice cream in his hands

“Hyuck?? What the fuck??” you asked as he got in the passenger seat and handed you a glass bowl, full of ice cream

“I thought you’d want some,” he sweetly replied, thoughtful as ever

“I mean yeah, I’m always a slut for ice cream, but I’m literally driving.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll feed you.” 

and so he fed you spoon fulls of ice cream as you drove to pick up your dolphin, flirt, panicked gay, toddler, and aggressive baby

once they all were in the car and ready to go (aka nervous as shit), y’all headed out to Mark’s party

you knew you were in the right place bc y’all could hear the music from the party a block away

bitch?? it’s 11 o clock?? aren't your neighbors pissed??

but then you remembered you were surrounded by different frats and sororities and nobody within a three mile radius cared bc they were most likely shitfaced, so. ya know

you parked the car and piled out

you ever see a clown car?? bc that was y’all getting out

anyways

there are string lights thrown everywhere, beer cans littering the front yard, some guy throwing up in the bushes, a couple making out on the front steps, and a random fog machine in the doorway

cool

the freshies and even your fellow seniors were in awe

you were the only one who hadn’t been pumped for this party but you were starting to look forward to it?? 

but you had to be the designated driver:/ 

sike hyuck could drive

you led the group of scared but excited little ducklings into the house and were greeted by a tipsy Mark picking you up in his drunken happiness

“Y/N!!!!” he yelled into your ear and fucking. spun you around and shit 

“Hello, Mark! How much have you had to drink so far?” you asked, shocked that he could be that fucked up when the party had only started less than an hour ago 

“So much!! Haha anyways-” he set you down on the floor and greeted the others

he knew the freshmen babies from going to hyuck’s “bangers” and shit

and by banger I mean the #gang watching john mulaney in hyuck’s basement and playing cards against humanity until three in the morning

he gave the boys hugs, him and hyuck did their dope ass handshake, and he took everybody into the kitchen for drinks and to socialize

“this is my frat house, do you guys like it?” 

“Mark, since we are best friends I think you deserve my honesty....” you started and glanced at Hyuck

“It’s a shithole,” you both said at the same time

Mark laughed and told you both, “Thanks, I appreciate it. It usually looks better when red Solo cups aren’t laying everywhere.” 

mark led y’all into the kitchen and the first smell that hit your nose was alcohol, and the second was weed

luckily the people carrying a bong left the kitchen and went out in the backyard so the initial impact was gone

the scent still lingered tho which was not so cool!! 

and as a result, made you latch onto your children

there were people in there making out, and they were about one clothing item away from doing the deed in the middle of the kitchen

Chenle and Jisung grabbed your hands so you knew they were //afraid//

Mark stopped and said hi to people along the way, all matching the stereotypical frat boy look

“Hey Yuta, pour everyone a drink, would you?” he asked some guy standing at the island with a bottle of vodka in his hands

the boy oozed narcissism and made you want to punch him in the face when he made eye contact with you and winked

the boy had the audacity to wink ?? boy if you don’t

donghyuck scooched closer to you and introduced himself

“hey, I’m donghyuck.” 

“I’m Yuta, and you are?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows at you

“Jailbait. Fuck off and hurry up with the drinks.” 

a cackle sounded behind the group and a few boys appeared next to mark

“I think that’s the first time any girl has ever talked to Yuta like that. I’m Johnny and this is Jaehyun, Taeyong and Lucas.” 

opinion on Johnny: chill, very tall

opinion on Jaehyun: tall, pretty smile

opinion on Taeyong: sharp features, mom friend vibe

opinion on Lucas: tall (again), fuckboy but a sweetheart

opinion on Yuta: fuckboy and full fuckboy at that

Yuta handed your drink and you took a sip while everyone watched, waiting for you to make a face or something

“Really?” Jisung asked, shocked that you didn’t have a problem with it

“Mama didn’t raise no pussy,” you told him, taking another sip 

Yuta handed everyone their drinks (thankfully he gave Chenle and Jisung hardly any in their cups, bless up bitches)

Mark dragged y’all outside where the pool was

and bc there was a pool there, there were a bunch of drunks swimming

and beer pong set up, which meant more drunk party goers

“you still have to meet more people!!” - drunk mark gesturing to literally everyone in the damn building

“this is Ten or Shitty Phone, whichever you prefer,” he said, smiling at a short boy who was engrossed in a game of beer pong

“Doyoung and Jungwoo....” the two boys were terribly dancing to a Chase Atlantic song

“Winwin, Kun, and Taeil..... that should be it.... I don't know half of the people here to be 100% honest with you guys.” 

“Great, thanks! We will leave you to it, dude. I’m sure we will find you later on in the night,” Hyuck said, telling Mark to go and socialize at his own party instead of just standing with the lame high school kids that were there for some reason

jeno and jaemin clung to each other, fighting over who would be on their teams for beer pong while Chenle and Jisung were fascinated by everything

“wanna play beer pong?” Hyuck asked, to which you automatically agreed

let’s just say that wasn’t your first rodeo to beer pong and you knew you could kick some major ass at it

“you and me on a team?” 

“yes, you fool.” 

so you two played against the winner of the game that was going on at the time (Yuta and Taeyong) and completely forgot about your children oof

since they won the previous game, they went first and missed the first shot:)

you and Hyuck did rock paper scissors to see who would go first on your side

you won, so you picked up the ball and got it in a cup on your first try (you go sis!!) 

Yuta and Taeyong looked at each other in shock and also slight worry while Hyuck smugly smirked like //yeah bitch that’s my bff, what’s good//

to make a long story short, you and Hyuck only missed one shot the entire game

Yuta and Taeyong, however, missed seven 

obviously team full sun won

by the time you had played over half the party guests, both you had quite the buzz while Hyuck didn’t drink that much so he was A-Okay

after a short bit of time, you decided “It’s too hot out here” 

“Y/N, so help me God, don’t-” Hyuck started but got stopped mid sentence by buzzed Y/N starting to strip

rip to your favorite jean jacket that was ripped off and thrown into the pool

rest easy queen, you will be missed:(

after that, the party was a blur

you thought they’d play a bunch of rap but they played indie and alternative over the speakers (not that there are any complaints here tbh)

occasionally you’d spot your kids and stop to talk

of course there was a red solo cup in your hand, full of some hard ass liquor that you definitely should not be having

“RENJUNNIE, MY BABY BOY!!!” 

“Y/N, I’m two months older than you-” only to be stopped by a completely drunk Y/N pinching his cheeks 

let’s be real tho: we’d all love to pinch that boy’s cheeks, sober or not

“Y/N, where is Donghyuck?” Renjun asked, slinging an arm around your shoulders and trying to get through a crowd of people to find Hyuck

“I don’t know but I miss him.... can we find him? Oh, wait, can we find Jeno and Jaeminie and Jisungie and Lele? I need to make sure that they’re okay!!” 

“Y/N honey, I think you’re the one that they should be checking on to make sure you’re okay...” 

“Junnie, I love you so much, I hope you know that. I’m so incredibly glad you are in my life, and- oh, is that tequila?! Doyoung, be a doll and pour me a glass of that, would you?” 

cue Renjun trying to motion to Doyoung to stop but doyoung really had nothing to lose so 

you grabbed the cup from doyoung before Renjun could reach it so he was very :)))))) oh really doyoung haha :)))) yotl bitch !! haha :)))

he dragged you to the backyard where donghyuck was talking to mark

“HYUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!” 

about half of the people outside turned to you, who had been practically laying on Renjun

you yelled hyuck’s name with your head down and after a couple of seconds you popped right up like nothing was wrong and walked over to him

him and mark looked at each other like //fuck dude// 

“my boys!!” drunk y/n cooed

you had no idea where jeno or jaemin or Jisung or Chenle were but it was okay bc at least you had three of your sons together

“I want to go swimming. Mark, can I go swimming?” you asked, sounding completely normal for a couple of seconds before cackling and telling everyone that it was a false alarm

“Y/N, honey, I don’t think that is a good idea, please do not go in the-” 

nice try, mark. you tried. 

the devil works hard but shit faced Y/N works harder

within seconds, you ripped off your shirt and shorts and shoes and jumped in

which then caused everyone to stare, which then caused everyone to realize what a good idea swimming was, which then caused everyone to jump in the pool

meanwhile, Hyuck, Mark, Renjun and the others (who were all standing on the side and getting videos of everything your kooky ass did, thanks guys) were in pure shock

never did they ever think that you’d be the difficult drunk

but whaddya know!! life sure is crazy sometimes :)

“Y/N, please get out, Y/N, please-” Renjun kept saying, reaching down for your hand on the side of the pool

you remained unbothered tho

until Hyuck came over and all he did was give you a look but you understood and became very uwu

“hyuckie!! my baby hyuckie!! I love you so much!!” you screamed and swam over to him

he smiled and said, “I love you too, Y/N, but I need you to get out of the pool.” 

“Why?? Are we going to get something else to drink?? Are we going to dance??” 

“Yes we can dance, but only if you get out of the pool,” he said

he helped you out of the pool and put his jacket around you and mouthed to Renjun “get the keys and get in the car”

cue Renjun immediately collecting the others and bolting to the car

“Donghyuckie!! Can we talk to Mark before we go and get another drink??” 

“Yes, sweetheart, let’s go say goodbye to him and thank him for inviting us, yeah?” 

“Are we leaving so soon?” 

“Yes, unfortunately we have to go home.”

“But why?”

“Because the party will be done soon and we have to go and get Jisung and Chenle home before their bedtime.”

“TIME TO TUCK IN THE BABIES!!” 

“Yes, exactly!! Now say bye to Mark!! Bye, Mark, thank you for inviting us!!” 

“Bye, Mark, I love you! I will miss you so much, thank you for inviting me! I love you so much, I- I would kill someone for you, you know that? I will literally murder someone if it means you are happy. I will do it. You say the word and I will cut off the problem immediately, and-” 

mark was fucking shaking in his boots but also slightly flattered??

wow, get you a best friend that is as dedicated as you are to mark

mark cut you off by hugging you and giving Hyuck a look that said //get her home right now lmao she is fucking wasted//

so before you got the chance to run off (Hyuck already knew you were gonna do that smh) Hyuck threw you over his shoulder and carried you out

Renjun, jeno, jaemin, Chenle and Jisung followed and watched as angry y/n pounded on hyuck’s shoulders and back because she wanted put down

“DOYOUNG! TAEYONG! MAKE HYUCK PUT ME DOWN!” 

“sorry, sweetheart,” Taeyong said, knowing that Hyuck wasn’t doing that just for the fun of it

“JOHNNY, TEN, YUTA, WINWIN PLEASE HELP ME!!!” 

they laughed, and Yuta said, “Nope, looks like Donghyuck has everything under control.” 

JUNGWOO, KUN, LUCAS GET ME DOWN- JAEHYUN, PLEASE HELP-” 

meanwhile, Jeno had his phone out and recorded the whole thing

Hyuck managed to make it through the party and to the car without losing anyone

AND without you causing any serious damage to his back

Renjun ran to the car first and unlocked it and started it up 

Renjun got in the driver’s seat, Jisung got in the passenger seat, and the rest of y’all piled in the back

again, illegal, don't do that

also don’t drink underage

you sprawled out on everyone’s laps, your feet on jaemin’s lap and head on hyuck’s lap

“Hyuckie, play with my hair please,” you whined, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes

of course he played with your hair, he wasn’t a damn idiot and also heard you talking about how you’d kill for mark so.....

“Renjun, take the backway, there is almost never any cops there.” 

“I know.” 

Renjun tried his best to drive home as quick as he could even though he had your ass in the back of the car

“Can we stop at McDonald’s?” 

“No, Y/N.” 

“But chicken nuggets!!” 

“We have those at home.” 

“No we don’t!!” 

“No nuggets, Y/N.” 

and then you started crying real tears because no nuggets:(

but finally you guys got home safe, thank you Renjun

the people in front got out first, then jeno and jaemin who were by your feet

Chenle and donghyuck helped you out, helping you walk since you were too wobbly to do it yourself

Renjun unlocked your front door and everyone went inside

they all practically lived there so they knew where the blankets and pillows were, and they went into the kitchen to get snacks

Jeno ran upstairs to get clothes that the boys had left there before in case of an emergency sleepover

Hyuck helped you up the stairs

“Do you want to take a shower?” he asked you

“Yes. Can you bring me clean pajamas please?” 

“Yeah, go jump in the shower and I’ll lay them on the toilet.” 

You somehow managed to shower without throwing up or falling over and when you got out you found new pajamas laying on the toilet and that Hyuck had taken your dirty clothes (aka your bra and underwear and his jacket since you stripped at the party)

you stumbled to your room, where Hyuck sat on your bed and played with the frayed end of one of your blankets

“I got you a glass of water and medicine,” he said when you walked in the room

you flopped down on the bed next to him and laid face down on your pillow

“Are you okay?”  

“Mmmmmmmphghapppp” (y’all know what that means)

“I’m going to go downstairs now-” 

“Don’t.” 

he couldn’t hear you because you mumbled, so he walked away but before he was out of your reach you grabbed his arm and said, “Stay.” 

he stood still for a couple of seconds, just processing what you said

finally, he laid down next to you and rubbed your back bc he knew you were feeling very not so good

“You okay?” 

“No. I feel terrible,” you told him, not slurring your words anymore (yay!) 

“Well, you drank a shit ton, so I’m not surprised.” 

“I don’t think I’m ever going to drink that much ever again,” you groaned, rolling over to look at him

Hyuck smiled, but noticed you rolled over to look at him

poor boy was so whipped that he stared into your eyes and didn’t even realize it

“What are you looking at?” you asked, smirking a bit

“You.” 

your brows went up and all you could think was //oh shit//

“I like you,” Hyuck boldly admitted, deciding that that was it, enough was enough, 

he was going to finally admit his crush on you after five years

it was like he was the drunk one and not you

you responded with a stunned silence

“How could you not know? I’ve liked you since we first met. Any time I’m around you, I feel safe, I feel- I feel like me, like I can breathe, like I can do anything I put my heart to. You give me butterflies in my stomach, you make me dizzy, you give me reason to try and do my best in life. It’s you, Y/N.”

o o f

y/n.exe has stopped working

“That’s good to hear,” you said, smiling and blushing

“Why?” Hyuck asked, confusion and scared bc he just laid his heart out to you

“Because the feeling is mutual.” 

Hyuck immediately broke out into a big smile and started giggling

“I’d kiss you but I’m still kind of drunk and fee shitty and my mouth probably tastes like alcohol.” 

he smiled and then yawned, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest

“I really shouldn’t be doing this in case you throw up but I don’t really care, this is... nice,” Hyuck whispered into your hair

“But the lights are on and hurting my head,” you whined, wrapping your arms around his waist and snuggling closer

“I’m too lazy to get up..... RENJUN!!” 

cue tired Renjun running up the stairs bc he thought something was genuinely wrong

Renjun burst into the room yelling “IS EVERYTHING OKAY? WHA- yo what the fuck?” 

“Shhhhh, she’s asleep. Can you turn the lights off please? I’m scared to move and piss her off,” Hyuck sheepishly asked, partially lying

there was a reason he yelled for Renjun

he knew Renjun wouldn’t make a big deal out of it but if you or Hyuck ever crossed him, he’d tell everyone in a heart beat

so all you guys had to do was not do him dirty and y’all would be okay !!

you fell asleep in hyuck’s arms and woke up a couple hours later with one bitch of a hangover

but you being you, you wanted to cook food for the boys so you forced yourself to get out of bed

somehow you got away from Hyuck without waking him up

you went downstairs and saw jeno, jaemin, Renjun, Chenle, and Jisung all in one big pile on your living room floor, blankets and pillows thrown everywhere

you took a picture of the boys to use as blackmail (but also because those boys were your best friends and the most important people in your life and wanted to treasure one of the rare moments where everyone was 100% peaceful and calm)

you started cooking pancakes and bacon, all while nursing a hangover

Jisung was the first one to get up, and he wandered into the kitchen half asleep with bedhead

he sat down at the dining room table and zoned out

you set a glass of orange juice down in front of him and ruffled his hair, saying “Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies.” 

one by one the boys woke up and wandered to the source of the delicious smell coming from the kitchen

“Y/N, are you wearing sunglasses?” Jeno asked, stealing a piece of bacon and going into the dining room

“Yes. Don’t steal any more bacon, you fucker.” 

donghyuck was the last one to get up, so he stumbled into the kitchen and didn’t even notice the glasses, but he saw you and

homeboy

homeboy done did it

he gave you a back hug

in front of all of the kids ?! 

you weren’t upset about it tho lol

he rested his head on your shoulder and said, “Damn, we knew you were a classy bitch but you didn’t have to flex on us this early in the morning.” 

“Hyuck it’s literally 11 in the morning and I have a hangover,” you told him, leaving your spot to take the food over to the table

Hyuck smirked and sat down next to you, avoiding the many stares of the others

others including mark, who randomly was sitting at your dining room table?? you asked no questions

“Close your mouths, you all look like trout,” you replied to the stares, putting a couple of pancakes and bacon on your plate

“Are you guys going to explain or should I ask what in the fuck is going on?” Jaemin asked, cutting right to the chase

and of course Renjun sipped on his orange juice, knowing exactly what in the fuck was going on

“I mean.... Y/N is cute or whatever so....” Hyuck announced, blushing and trying to act tough but failing miserably

“He’s alright I guess...” 

“Well it’s about damn time!” mark exclaimed

“Mark how the fuck did you get in my house?” 

“I still have the spare key your parents gave me four years ago,” he admitted, shoving his face full of pancakes

the rest of breakfast was spent eating with your boys and reviewing the night before

you said, “I DID WHAT?!” at least ten times (I can’t say I blame you tbh)

by the end of breakfast, everyone was full and had laughed so much that their stomach hurt

they all helped you clean up and do the dishes (angels!!) and then it was time for everyone to leave:(

since some of the boys lived close, they just walked home

but Renjun and jisung’s parents had to pick them up (and since hello!! your parents weren’t home!! they had their parents pick them up from hyuck’s house next door, oooo clever boys)

and since you and Hyuck were ever so kind, y’all drove mark back to his frat

Hyuck drove tho, you were still too fucked up to drive so you sat in the passenger seat and mark was in the back blabbering away

when everyone except for you and Hyuck had gone, it was.... pretty nice

instead of beating around the bush, y’all got right to the chase

“want to go on a date on Saturday?” Donghyuck asked, not caring to phrase it differently since the feeling was mutual 

“Yeah, sounds good, text me details,” you said, giving him one last hug before he went home

as soon as he got home, the boy texted you details for your date (a moment he had been dreaming about since middle school)

and let’s be real, you had been waiting for that moment for a really long time and you’re glad drunk y/n was impulsive because hey! 

you snagged the best boyfriend ever! and there is nothing you wouldn’t do for him, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you!

[punksqueer]

answer ALL of the crayola questions bitch I dare u 👀

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED, SON

Macaroni and Cheese: What makes you think of your childhood?honestly?? the smell of old spice products, dark cloud 2 (game), red hot chili peppers and sublime music

Spring Green: How do you relax when you’re stressed?I mean idk if I’d call this relaxing, but: chain smoke, destroy my fingers (oops), listen to music, use fidget toys, and go for a long-ass powerwalk

Asparagus: What’s an unpopular opinion you have?hamburger helper is absolutely disgusting.

Bittersweet: Has someone you loved ever hurt you?YEP

Eggplant: Explain your url and avatar.url: inspired by punks not dead and being dead insideavatar: me edgily using a cool snapchat filter when i was working at a motorbike shop

Outer Space: Do you ever feel like you’re an outcast from others?aha yes

Cotton Candy: What is your favorite dessert?b r o w n i e s

Freckle: Do you have any marks on your skin? How do you feel about them?many!! i have a stitch scar on my right hand middle finger from a garden shear accident, stretch marks, self harm scars, random scars from being a kid who wasn’t afraid to climb and occasionally fall out of trees n such, roughing around, uhhh, cat scratch scars from trying to bathe a cat who really didnt want to be bathed. also, acne scars. and once, i was 9 and dropped a large, heavy glass bowl on my foot. it permanently split the nail down one of my big toes down the middle. I like them all, really

Shocking Pink: Is there a trait that you have that others don’t expect from you?probably hyperempathy and kindness because of how I look

Robin’s Egg Blue: If you were an animal, which one do you think would you be?100% a possum

Granny Smith Apple: What’s something everyone else likes that you don’t?hamburger helper, apparently.

Dandelion: What’s a pet peeve of yours?when people are rudely dismissive of others’ feelings

Atomic Tangerine: What gets you motivated to do a difficult task? 3 cups of coffee and smokeWisteria: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?body hair, scars, piercings, and tattoos

Candy Apple: How do you think others view you?weird, awkward, or intimidating probably

Plum: Are you insecure about anything?me teeth, me lisp, and me awkward stance when around others

Sky Blue: Where do you feel the most at home?my college, my grandma’s, n my hometown (also, the forest ngl)

Tickle Me Pink: How do you try to cheer others up when they’re sad?memes, talkin’ it out, lettin them rant

Wild Strawberry: Do you care what others think about you?no often, but yes, sometimes

Glossy Grape: Recommend something to your followers.honestly, check out gravity falls if you’ve never watched it before

World Wide Web Yellow: What was the last thing you looked up?how to renew a passport

Shadow Blue: Do you have a darker side to you that most people are unaware of?i mean, idk what classifies as a darker side?? like does that mean kinky or something?? other than that, the only thing I got is that while majority of the time I’m outwardly chill and often un-bothered, there are few times in which (IRL) I completely lose my shit after being pushed too far and will be completely consumed by rage that has been built up for too long. verbal arguments, yelling, slamming things. I have a lot of repressed anger

Electric Lime: What genre of music do you listen to?punk, rock, grunge, that kind of stuff. though I listen to a lot of different things, I don’t feel like listing them all. really, im fine with anything except country

Night Owl: Describe a very interesting dream that you had.I recently dreamt that I broke my fucking phone and i was so upsetti

Cornflower: What do you think about the most?crippling anxiety, depression, what to do with and about my life, worries about politics, mental health, and financial struggles ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯

Grasshopper Green: Describe the area where you live.quiet, family neighbourhood, close to a park and a soccer field, farmland in behind the housing

Misty Moss: Is there anything you regret?(in high school) staying at home and refusing to go out with friends, on dates, or on class trips (and other trips) that would have been fun (and paid for/taken care of) because I felt that I did not deserve them.

Tiny Toad Brown: Do you find beauty in something that people consider to be ugly or undesirable?that’s a hard yes. I frequently point out the beauty I see in people and things alike that other people dont

Sunny Side Up: Do you like waking up in the mornings, or would you rather sleep in?when Depression ™: sleepwhen not depression: E A R L Y

Kitten Gray: Do you have any pets? If so, describe them. 2 whole hairy bois raised from feral kittens I found outside, and a ball python

Rose Dust: Describe your aesthetic in five words or less.queer punk

Timberwolf: Do you give second chances when somebody has wronged you?oh fuck, I give people far too many chances

Freshly Squeezed: What excites you?FOOD, ANIMALS, THE FAIR

Firefly Red: What gives you purpose?ny existence is a “fuck you” to everyone who ever said I couldn’t.

Tiny Teapot Tan: Do you consider yourself to be attractive/cute?fuck yeah m8 im hot as fuck

Rain Drop Blue: Describe the weather outside.THERE BE A STORM BREWIN’

Sweet Pea Green: Do you have/want children?want.

Pussywillow: Do you like being around others, or do you like being alone?both??

Jack ‘O’ Lantern Orange: What’s your biggest fear and why? abandonment, dying alone

Baby Bunny Pink: Do you look young for your age, or do you look older than you are?I dunno really

Mystic Maroon: What confuses you, and why?people just, getting jobs and being able to work with like, no problem doing it?? like, ??? my anxiety, my crippling fear that I will inevitably fuck something up, my inability to take verbal criticism in social situations by people I dont know

Cosmic Cobalt: What’s your zodiac sign, and do you think it’s accurate?Aquarius, and yes.

Petal Pink: Describe your fashion sense as well as what you’re wearing right now.honestly my fashion sense is wild, and blue cargo shorts that came from mum’s work (she works at a provincial park) and ripped, grey tank top

Mountain Meadow: Do you like taking care of others, or do you prefer being care of?B O T H

Fuzzy Duckling Yellow: Is there something from childhood that you haven’t outgrown?sleeping with the stuffed animal my dad got me one Christmas when I was like 9

Brussel Sproutlet: Do you have any unhealthy habits?nail biting, picking at my fingers, chewing my lip, smoking, biting my oral piercings, not remembering to eat or drink solely because I simply forget and can’t feel that I’m hungry or thirsty

Razzle Dazzle Rose: Describe an ideal date.a nice lil cafe, or sittin by the fire and watching stars. alternatively, going for a drive to god knows where

Periwinkle: What’s something ordinary that has personal meaning to you?the handmade cards my friends and fam have given me for special occasions. like, it really means a lot when someone gives me something they’ve made

Mauvelous: Do you think you deserve a better life than you have now?eh, debatable?? I mean I certainly deserve to be able to afford basic needs and medications and such

Blueberry Blue: Do you get sad easily?y e a h

Purple Mountains Majesty: How does someone earn your respect?by literally just being someone who isnt and asshole honestly

[restingdomface]

Y’all for some fucking reason I CANNOT stop thinking about this au for the past day or so so let’s go over some highlights for it:

Wei Wuxian leaves the burial mounds and goes back to Lotus Pier. Jiang Cheng either finds out (and takes a bit of time to come to terms with the lie cause oooof but still loves his brother so much it aches) or it’s made clear that JC always knew that WWX gave him his golden core. Either way, after a certain point, he knows.

Because of this, one day WWX is sunbathing (remember, he’s blind af in this AU so he’s def got a heavy blindfold around his eyes they’re way too sensitive to bright lights but he’s old he wants warm) on his favorite part of the pier, when JC comes by and finds him sitting there, one hand rubbing his stomach. Confused, he asks if WWX’s stomach is okay? WWX just grins and tells him to give WWX his hand. JC is very wary but does. He puts it on WWX’s stomach and concentrates. And feels??? A core??? Possibly an even stronger core than he gave JC???

WWX gets excited and tells him that’ll be his new core when he’s reborn later. The reason he’s growing so old so fast is that he’s literally giving his soul to the burial mounds to be reborn now that it’s cleansed, and in return for the love and care, it’s growing him a new core. So. Obviously, JC asks, ‘wait. So you’re pregnant with your own future core?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Does this mean you’ll get fat?’ ‘Only if I decided to start overeating.’ ‘Damn. I wanted to make fun of you for having a pregnant waddle. I couldn’t make fun of A-Jie for it because that would be cruel.’ ‘Too bad, you’ll just have to make fun of me for walking into walls.’

If you think the canon aged ducklings are adorable following WWX around, imagine how cute it is when they’re 9-13 year olds. It’s fudging cute. They regularly get forcibly cuddled and kissed on their dumb little foreheads.

After WWX is reborn and grown up (it takes about four years to fully become adult so when WSZ is about 20) a lot of the Wens migrate back to the burial mounds and Yiling. Like they live in the BM but go to Yiling a lot now. That’s been home for a long time. Consider: a lot of them ended up becoming stone workers in some way. WWX tends to just migrate all over wherever his family is at the moment. Sometimes the BM where he works with students and creates things, sometimes in Cloud Recesses where he can annoy Lan Qiren and be shameless and corrupt the kiddies, and sometimes Lotus Pier where he invades JC’s life and won’t stop hugging him all the time. Also the fight like kids again a lot. Lots of rough housing. He also visits Koi Tower but it’s under duress and tends to avoid any main areas and just curls up with Shijie and basks in her love and attention. And sometimes JZX pats his head, in a fond way, but not like you like a child, but like you pat the head of a cat you KNOW will swipe at you for it and then laughs at him for it. He’s really mellowed out since dad died and he became sect leader.

I mean I’m just bored with that whole ass plot to kill WWX like it’s interesting but this is a fix it FIC and I just tend to yeet Meng Yao at NMJ and pretend he never left the Nie clan in those AUs because 1: I ship it, as well as liking their relationship pretty much in all forms, and 2: I believe NMJ was the one person who had a CHANCE of tempering that feral kitten.

Mo Xuanyu was adopted by Yanli and Zixuan a while ago and he’s their bratty teenage emo and Yanli is 100% in her element taking care of her caustic babies.

Jiang Cheng is acearo and happy about it let him be happy without relationships. He sometimes cuddles but only for like five minutes max (unless it’s his siblings or a nephew/niece in which case they can all sleep on him indefinitely thanks) because he gets squirmy after a bit. If you hand him a baby he might just refuse to give it back tho. Warning.

Mskdjkdkdkfmddmdmdkfmf okay so FIC where WWX digs under the burial mounds instead of on top of it? And they don’t come out till Sizhui is about 13?? And when they do WWX is literally dying of old age because absorbing all that resentful energy is killing him slowly??? And WSZ isn’t all that upset about it and LWJ asks baby why he’s not upset thay A-Die is gonna die and WSZ tells him theyll just take his soul and plant him like a radish in the BM and it’ll grow him a new body??? But till he dies he’s gonna be old af in Lotus Pier with hubby (they got married instantly you know it) and fam and stuff??? Okay so I was thinking about that AU, and tbh. I’ve never actually fallen into the whole ‘make this character badass’ trope, but WWX is fucking badass as hell in this one okay, if someone tries to go for the kiddos he’ll wreck their ass. He’s a preschool teacher with a gangster background. He’ll pop a cap you know what I mean, if someone tries to lay a single finger on one of his babies. And he has decided, automatically, that any child that comes within 100 feet of him, is now his newest baby and needs a cuddle and seven kisses.

Anyways. Entirely not what I made this post for. But there it is. What I made this post for, is this dialogue:

Wei Wuxian: *comes into the room during a meeting, half blind and bumping into people* I have a complaint.

Everyone else: *oh god is he really doing this now none of them know what to say*

Jiang Cheng: *absolutely delighted cause these assholes are the reason he couldn’t be with his brother and nephew for 13 fucking years he’s totally willing for them to get a verbal slap whenever possible* Oh? What would be that, A-Xian?

Wei Wuxian: See. Y’all seem to think that I’m losing my mind because I’m older than dirt and can’t see shit in this overly bright Above-Ground world, I just need y’all to know one thing: I’m not senile. I’m as sharp as I’ve ever been. The issue is, I’ve never been all that bright to begin with. Stop treating me like I’m senile. I’m not senile. I’m stupid. And for future reference, If everyone could start introducing themselves every time you talk to me, I would appreciate that. Not because I can’t remember, but I’m mostly blind. I remember, promise.

Some rando: Oh, so you DO remember?

Wei Wuxian: *no idea who that voice belongs to* I remember everything! Shut up! Who the fuck are you?

Them: Your cousin? On Madame Yu’s side? Kiluan’s kid?

Wei Wuxian: well, well, shut up, I’m not senile. I’m just stupid. Go away. *blindly bumping his way out of the room, before LWJ seems to have finally caught up with him and leads him away for a nap with a sigh*

Jiang Cheng: *absolutely losing his shit*

Everyone else: *nervous tittering cause they don’t know if they’re allowed to laugh or not*

[idolsthatjustsohappentohavemagic]

Marks first day at magic school, and how he meet the people who were going to mean the most to him

Main Character: Mark Side characters: Jackson, Namjoon, Youngjae, Yugyeom, Jungkook, BamBam Pairing: Mark / Jackson

Summary:

Mark arrives at his new school, the knowledge that he is not actually insane in hand and gets ready to meet his new dorm mates.

The sun was standing high in the sky as Mark looked up on it. Most people were staying inside to avoid the harsh rays, the problem with that meant that everybody was gathered in one place forcing their emotions onto Mark. Normally he could ignore it by being in his own dorm, but even just the emotions of his dorm mates were too much for Mark.

Namjoon’s worry was seeping into him mixed with Youngjae’s sadness over his parents yet again not having contacted him for his birthday and it was just becoming too much for Mark. He had to get out of there, which ended with him more or less running from the dorm and aggressively closing all doors behind him.

Ignoring the warmth hitting his skin and ignoring the voice in his head, that very much sounding like Seokjin, telling him that the UV light from the sun was hurting his skin and he was going to get skin cancer.

Who even cared if he got skin cancer? It would leave Seokjin with something new to heal so really Mark was being a good friend here, even if cancer didn’t seem like a fun time.

He did manage to find a spot with shade under the Jimin tree. The Jimin tree was really just an overgrown tree that looked like it had been there for hundreds of year, when in reality it had just been a tiny red oak newly planted. But after Jimin’s powers had decided that it wasn’t acceptable they now had the giant beast instead.

As Mark laid under the tree he sighed contently as the rest on his mind, his feelings were finally his own nobody else to influence them, even if he did feel a little bit lonely.

He didn’t get to feel lonely for long until the soft features of bobcat’s face was shoved into his. Normal people would probably have been disturbed by the sudden appearance, but even if Mark had only been at the school for a year, he had gotten used to weird things. Plus this was Jackson, he knew it was.

He kept his voice soft and still as he spoke, he struggled to remember which animals that Jackson turned into that had a sensitive hearing. “Hey Jackson”

Mark was answered by a rough tongue licking his cheek as to show concern. It might seem weird for some people why Jackson wouldn’t just change into his human form to show his concern, but both of them understood why he didn’t do it.

Mark couldn’t sense the feelings of people when they were shapeshifted, or invisible for BamBam’s case, which was why when everything became to much for Mark it was either Jackson or Jaebum that he would seek out. Both good at calming his mind while at the sametime not making him feel so lonely.

“I’m okay I promise.” Mark mumbled to one of his kind of pseudo boyfriends as Jackson’s heavy bobcat body placed itself next to Mark letting the older cuddle up to him.  “I just needed a break, but thank you for looking after me.” He buried his head in the thick fur coat of the bobcat while petting Jackson’s ear.

As both of them settled down, Jackson softly purring, Mark thought back on how he had met both Jackson and the rest of everyone elsw.

Mark had arrived at the school with 3 other students. A young female named Tzuyu who looked excited about everything around her and Mark could feel how she wasn’t the least bit worried just happy and excited, her powers had to either big weak or something cool that couldn’t accidentally murder everybody.

An older male with tanned skin who was shifting his weight from one foot the other awkwardly while they were waiting for their guide. His emotions were much more damped than Tzuyu’s, some people like her were almost like a lighthouse with their emotions and Mark was sure that he would be able to sense her for at least 100 meters.

And then BamBam, of course at that time he hadn’t known that it was BamBam at that point. BamBam was well dressed, well dressed enough that Mark felt really weird next to him in his shorts and loose tank top. On that note Mark was also fucking freezing because it was winter and nobody had told him where the school was placed. He had kinda just assumed that it was around the corner.

NOT IN ANOTHER COUNTRY! God he was going to have to learn korean wasn’t he? The answer to that turned out to be yes. Luckily he wasn’t the only one. He later found out that BamBam had been a fashion student, and dressing like he was about to walk a runway was normal for him. Didn’t stop Mark from thinking that sunglasses during winter was a little douchey.

3 guides had finally found them, each taking some of the student’s. BamBam and Mark ended up with the same guy, a stupidly tall smiley male with dimples called Namjoon. Mark liked Namjoon from first meeting, mainly because he started with actually understandable english and didn’t try to make Mark speak Korean… thank fuck for that.

It turned out that Mark and BamBam were both placed in the same dorm, Andromeda. Namjoon had spoken happily to them. “I’m glad you guys have arrived, we haven’t had a new dorm member since Jungkook arrived and it’s always nice with new members! Especially since Mark is older than me, which mean I am no longer the old one.”

Namjoon spoke a lot and confidently, which Mark was actually impressed by since it was his second language. He was less happy about being called old, but he couldn’t really dislike Namjoon, he was warm and nice and Mark liked his glasses.

BamBam instead stopped in his tracks looking a little bit worried. “Uhm… how many guys are in our dorm?” Mark could feel the emotions coming from BamBam he was no longer calm, instead he was… scared?

Namjoon turned to BamBam looking confused. Even if he clearly wasn’t an empath he seemed to understand what was wrong with BamBam “6 with you guys, is that an issue? You don’t like other people?”

Mark could follow how BamBam’s emotions swapped from one extreme to the next multiple times almost not giving him a chance to keep up with them, until it settled on a feeling Mark wasn’t that familiar with… Resignation… “I’m gay.”

It was mumbled staring down onto the frozen grass, with his shoulders hanging and he was just sad and that made Mark sad. Mark never thought about it like that. His parents had been very open same with his university, and while he wouldn’t call himself gay he liked to call his sexuality ‘well whatever my dick get’s hard for, can’t control it’ sometimes it was girls in yoga pants, sometimes it was guy’s in yoga pants… Mark just liked yoga pant’s in general.

Namjoon for his turn seemed just as confused as Mark had. “Okay?”

That didn’t make BamBam less sad it seemed. “I asked for a single room for that reason.”

“Yeah getting single rooms is hard. Like both me, Youngjae, Jungkook and Yugyeom could all be seen as being a danger to everybody around us. But we still didn’t get a single room, and I don’t understand what that has to do with your sexuality.”

“I don’t want you guys to feel uncomfortable around me.” BamBam’s words were even quieter now, which Mark found impressive.

And then Namjoon seemed to get it. “You grew up with normies… now it makes sense. I’m sorry I forgot that you guys are still in backwater times. Nobody cares about sexuality, you fuck whatever you want to fuck! Really it’s fine, there is nothing wrong with that.”

And that was it. Mark couldn’t stop himself from laughing. “Normies?” Even BamBam giggled at that, and Namjoon blushed a dark red color tinting his natural tan.

“Normal people.” he mumbled, it was kinda cute. Mark had grown up in a non magic community, for him it was always magic users and then there were the others, but Mark kinda liked the word… Normies, yeah he was totally going to call his old friends that.

Mark for a second felt almost overwhelmed by the happiness coming from BamBam. “Really? None of you care?”

Namjoon gave him a slightly awkward pat on the shoulder. “Just don’t fuck people while they are in animal form or unable to consent and we are all good.”

Both Mark and Namjoon laughed at BamBam’s facial expression, and with that the mood was lifted. BamBam both looked and felt like he had just been told that he got to have a second christmas, and those stupid sunglasses were finally off his face which thank fuck for that.

Namjoon showed them around the school, or more specific he showed them around a part of the school since apparently the school housed over 2000 students which meant it was big. Mark was more or less already lost hoping that Namjoon would show him to his classes or else he would be lost.

It seemed like Namjoon had also understood that none of his new ducklings remembered anything any longer. He turned them around towards the dorms. “Your luggage should have arrived now. Let’s go and see if we still have a dorm or if everybody has blown it into pieces.”

Mark wanted to ask about it, but he felt like he would found out what the other was talking about when he got to the dorm. He couldn’t wait to meet the rest of his soon to be roommates, from what Namjoon had told them always in a fond voice they were… special…

“You two are going to share the last room, don’t worry it is big so there is no problem with that. Yugyeom and Jungkook share, they are basically co dependant at this point so don’t question it, it is normal. I share with Youngjae since we have both been here for the longest so we have gotten used to sharing.” Namjoon swiped what seemed to be an id card on the outside of the dorm to get in, hm were they going to get one of those as well?

“If you had a free room, why did nobody take it to at least get some freedom, wouldn’t it make more sense?” Namjoon just shrugged at that as he showed the two new ducklings in.

“Not really, we are all really close and Youngjae doesn’t like to sleep alone and I have gotten used to it by now. We have known each other for over 20 years now and have shared a room for the same amount of time so...” he just shrugged, “There are two bathrooms both are big, and we normally have no issue sharing so hopefully it will keep going like that. If you dye your hair you use the smaller bathroom since it is already a mess after… that… incident.”

Well that was a lot to unpack and both had just kind stopped and stared at Namjoon, until they both squealed out. “20 years!?”

Namjoon blushed again. “Neither me nor Youngjae has an ability we feel comfortable using so other than just suppressing the ability we don’t have that good control. We are amazing at not using it. Sadly that doesn’t count as ‘control’ which means we can’t leave. It is okay though, we still get to leave the grounds when we have people with us. Youngjae is modeling major in normie studies and he does work around the city. And I do research for the high council in the physiological effect of alignment, so we are all good.“

With that Namjoon opened the door to the living room which was… a mess. On the coach cupping a bleeding hand, a tall male with bunny teeth was scowling and looking like he was planning to murder everybody. On the other couch was another even taller male hugging a third crying male to him.

Namjoon, BamBam and Mark all kinda just started at what was going on, until Namjoon pulled himself together rushing into the room. He half lifted the crying male into his own arms. “What happened?”

The short male had at that point wrapped his arms around Namjoon crying into his neck, leaving Namjoon to putting an arm under him to keep him up. The psychopath who looked like he wanted to go on a killing spree was the one who spoke up. “Hanbin called Jae a murderer.”

“And then Jungkook punched him in the face… multiple times,” the tallest one spoke up, as he inspected Jungkook’s hand, “and he seemed to forget that Hanbin can turn his hand into metal. I think it is broken multiple places. I have to take him to Seokjin, you okay with Jae?”

Namjoon just nodded as he sat down on the couch petting and whispering words to Youngjae that Mark couldn’t hear. As the male who later turned out to be Yugyeom dragged Jungkook out of the room he stopped before Mark and BamBam. “I promise it normally isn’t that melodramatic in this house. Some people at this school are just mean.”

“Assholes,” mumbled Jungkook pouting. “mean assholes that deserved to be skinned alive and revived. Only then killed slowly while being sexually assaulted by a horse.”

“Don’t listen to him, he is protective of his friends. He is normally a lot more chill. He is emotionally constipated.”

“No I’m not.” A raised eyebrow from Yugyeom. “Okay.” At that point Jungkook just looked like a sad bunny whose carrots had been taking away from.

Both BamBam and Mark just awkwardly nodded, not sure what to do or say as Jungkook got pulled out of the dorm by a slightly aggressive Yugyeom. This left their attention to be turned to the two on the couch.

Youngjae had stopped crying leaving Mark to hesitantly ask. “Is he okay?”

Namjoon nodded while petting Youngjae’s hair. “He is going to be. Name calling based on abilities is some of the most bigoted things you can say to anybody here in the school. Sadly Youngjae, Yugyeom and Jungkook are all targeted by it. Which has lead to the defensiveness you saw, but the know that those words aren’t true. Right baby?”

Youngjae looked up now, giving Mark a view of his tear stained face. “It still hurts.”

And that was the moment that Mark decided that Youngjae was a tiny blob that needed to be protected from the world for all cost.

More happened that day, but Mark didn’t get the chance to think about it as he suddenly had a Jackson in his lap. “Pay attention to me! Don’t zone out on me!” As he pressed a kiss to Mark’s mouth.

Only for Mark to panic push Jackson of his lap. “You are naked!” Yeah Jackson didn’t keep his clothes when he went into animal form and was naked when he came out.

A/N:

For more information about this AU you can go to the first story in this series! which can be read HERE And we are taking requests as well for anything in this AU, so if you wanna see something you are welcome to request it!

- Prussia

[all-pacas]

i know you’re generally more of a duckling person, but i’d love to hear your thoughts on stacy and like the whole house, cuddy, wilson, stacy dynamic because i think it’s such an interesting time in the show

you're so right??

Honestly, I don't even know what to say, I feel like people who Get House are like. They're doing work I could never do. It isn't like I don't appreciate House and Wilson and Hilson and all that, it just didn't grab me in the same way as the kids — and I love that you included Stacy and Cuddy in there, because even if the main thing is Hilson, they're so important?

Like first of all: I jokingly call the fellows "the kids" or "baby doctors" sometimes. A lot of the time. And that's because the adult doctors are clearly House and Wilson and Cuddy. And I love the entirely accidental ways the show keeps a clear divide in the two groups: there's some crossover, but whenever Wilson has drama, Cuddy and House are the ones involved. Whenever Cuddy is doing something, it's a House and Wilson problem. House and Wilson do get involved with the lives and drama of the kids, but it's not reciprocal: Cameron rarely dips her toes in because she has something of a friendship with Wilson (underappreciated!!), but like. Foreman doesn't know shit about Wilson's divorces. Chase has no clue Cuddy wants to adopt. There's a very clear line between the groups, and I love it. There's a very interesting social divide on the show. Cuddy/Wilson/House/Stacy are not equals to the fellows. They are allowed to peer down; the kids aren't allowed to peer up. I find that shit fascinating.

(Digression, but: I also love when this divide is examined, as with Amber — who does push into the upper tier — and Taub — who oddly doesn't.)

Anyway. First of all, I love Stacy. I really do. She's fucked up and messy and she and House are so similar. I absolutely see why they fell in love, I bet they were happy together. You know they'd just sit around and gossip and bitch and make fun of Wilson's wives. I love how she's presented to not just be House's ex but Cuddy and Wilson's friend; how it's all sort of fraught. I find Stacy in S2 fascinating, because we're in the very early days of Cuddy as a Love Interest and the episodes do some interesting things with comparing the two: Cuddy usually is presented as tough and matter of fact, but Stacy is much more pragmatic, and it's just interesting to see them compared: they really do come off as very different, where it would have been easy to make them the same. There's a very interesting venn diagram you could make between Stacy and Cuddy and Wilson, too, with House in the middle: they are the people who matter to him, and they're very different people, but in certain ways they're all very much three points of a triangle: they all have similar, sharp senses of humor. They all like to challenge and push House. All three have a history of manipulating House and lying to him and loving him: House pushes Stacy away and forces Cuddy away and Wilson is what's left, and. I don't know. It's a really interesting dynamic I really appreciate.

I also really love Wilson and Cuddy's friendship. Like it's so funny, because they can be so deranged around House, but around one another they just feel so normal. They have a real warmth: I love the one episode where Wilson is trying to matchmake her and House and Cuddy sees through him, laughs, and kisses his cheek. I really buy their friendship, I love when we see it. I think it's a shame it sort of goes by the wayside in later seasons.

Also, I get that Hilson is like. The Thing. But House/Cuddy/Wilson would have been kind of amazing. I think it would have worked really well.

[lolbtsaus]

Youtuber!Taehyung as a Father

And now it is time for the second half of the Daegu line, the love of my life who looked so super cute in BV S2 I only got to watch about half of it but he was really really cute him in plaid/flannel is 100% just amazing his outfits are always wo W I love him so much, Kim Taehyung aka V aka tae tae

For the original youtuber!Taehyung post, click here, that post also features the proposal bit  and for father!Tae, all of the father related posts are here

For everyone that hasn’t read the original father!tae post, he has a lot of kids, in order of age, it’s a boy, twin girls and then another boy

Just a quick summary of youtuber!tae, he has a vlogging channel, it’s mainly vlogs, there are a few tags here and there, there are some sit down and talk videos, some Q&As but 70-80% of the videos are vlogs

Since he does share a lot of his life with his viewers, it’s a no brainer that he’s gonna wanna tell them about the bbys asap like right after he finds out and has a minute to celebrate with you and maybe calm his heartbeat down a bit, he’s pulling his camera out and talking about it

He may not upload that clip until you give him the okay but he’ll film it on the same day so his reaction is genuinely !!!!!!!!! like his eyes are still watery, his smile is still s o so so big and happy and all square

His entire face is just so lit up and it’s so clear that he’s the happiest he’s ever been bc he just found out that his lil munchkin his teeny tiny baby is coming within just a few months 

His viewers get to watch his bbys grow up and that’s one of the biggest reasons he started his channel 

Not only does having his videos on the internet provide him a great way to look back at his memories in the future, it also gives him a way to build a family

He’s never felt like his viewers were just his viewers, they were so much more to him than a number on the screen, they're like family to him

So to him, it’s only common sense for him to talk about his biological family with them

On the first day the bbys are born, Tae’s showing a couple of clips of them, he doesn’t film too much bc he’s so distracted with the fact that his child(ren) is laying right there and they’re so cute and smol and he wants to give them hugs and coo at them and sing to them a bit maybe

The viewers get to see the bbys grow up day by day

They get to see the bbys go from being so lil and tiny and barely able to lift their own heads up to them still being lil but not so much and being able to run around and talk a mile a minute and form their own personalities and it’s the be s t

Tae can always look back on bby boy’s first word, he can always look back at how the girls would cuddle each other whenever they were near each other, he can always look back at how bby boy #2 was running the mere second he figured out how to

They’re in nearly every video, it’s s o rare for him to post a video where they’re not at least in the background

Like even if his videos that aren’t vlogs, they’re gonna be in the background or you’ll hear their voices or they’ll be in and out of the frame

Even in the few videos they’re not featured in, you’re gonna see a toy or a bottle or a shoe, anything that would hint at the fact that he’s got four kids running around the house

Tae is such a fashion lover like he’s so into his style and developing it further and letting it change as he gets older like he went from wearing the baggy clothes and the cut up shirts that he loved so much to the Gucci and I honestly love that he’s so open about it and that he’s like hey man I bought these really cool shirts wanna see like hell yeah bb I wanna see

So he’s gonna l o v e being able to dress his bbys up in cute lil outfits (until they get to the age where they can start picking out their own clothes at least) like does Gucci make children’s clothes bc if they do it’s game over their entire fucking closet is just gonna be Gucci

They’re always looking super super cute, the girls are sometimes in matching outfits bc he can’t resist it it’s just too perfect of a set up to not give them matching outfits but normally he gives them different outfits or maybe they’ll have a similar theme

But their hair is almost always different, one of them will have pigtails, one of them has a bun or a ponytail, a couple of braids maybe a head band or two 

The boys sometimes have matching outfits with Tae bc how can you not my biggest head canon is that his boys would look so fucking similar to him like havE YOU EVER SEEN TAE AS A BBY THAT SHIT IS CUTE

So they gotta do the matching bit at l e a s t ten times within the first month, it’s the minimum

And they get lil beanies bc bbys in beanies are one of my favorites it’s so fucking cute and they love trying to wear Tae’s watches or his rings and they’re basically his mini mes

They’re in their pajamas a lot in videos too tbh Tae’s family would literally have a designated “pajama day” where no one can get out of their pajamas and everyone has to be super comfy and happy and so many cuddles happen

It’s so blatantly obvious that he adores them so much, there isn’t a single video they’re in where he doesn’t kiss their lil cheeks at least once

Like his intro is literally the bbys popping into frame one by one and him kissing their heads as they come in (ending with him kissing yours)

He films this one clip he l ov e s so much of him walking across the street with them and bby girl #2 is holding his hand and then bby girl #1 is holding hers and then bby boy #1 is holding onto hers and then bby boy #2 is holding onto his so it’s one long train

They’re nicknamed (affectionately) the ducklings by his viewers bc they follow him around a l o t and they are lil kids so they have the lil waddle walk that lil kids do and they just look up at him with those big puppy dog eyes like “where we going next dad”

He does a series called Cooking with the Kims where he and the bbys try to cook or bake something for you and it’s always s o fucking cute and funny and messy very messy

Imagine Tae cooking and then add in children just take a moment to think about that bc my heart is just gone it belongs to him completely

It always ends with someone having flour in their hair or sauce on their cheek basically a mess

He always gives them lil snacks to keep them entertained while he handles the actual heat part of the cooking process bc the last thing he ever wants is his bbys getting hurt he is not having that happen

Sometimes the meals may be a bit burnt but it’s always made with a lot of love and the bbys always get to decorate the plate

His favorite video he’s ever made with them is one of the Cooking with the Kims videos bc he feels like it sums up his life really well

It’s a bit chaotic, four bbys but it’s so loving and everyone’s giggling up a storm and they’re cuddling with each other as it goes along and everyone’s joking around and having so much fun and your voice is in the background bc you’re watching it all go down so it’s a video with all of his loves in it, the dog’s in the background, the hamster is in your hands when he points the camera at you, it’s his lil family all together in one video  

“Any reason there are chocolate chips in my Alfredo??”

“We wanted to give you dinner AND dessert”

[tythanhcs]

Can we get some fluff tythan? Like a date to a park with flowers and light kisses?

THIS IS SO FUCKING LATE IM SORRY BUT UH ITS REALLY LONG SO CONTENT SIZE OVER BEING ON TIME?? I LOWKEY STRAYED REALLY FAR OFF TOPIC BUT HH @korieriddle

-let’s pretend that LA has actual seasons like here on the East Coast or Europe-Tyler and Ethan go on walks to the park nearly every day, for either a casual stroll or a date-They always hold hands, unless they’re out for a run (or if it’s summer)-They bring Chica with them whenever they can-The park has a giant pond with ducks that Ethan likes to feed-The park management gets pissed about the fact that they’ll climb the trees all the time

Spring-Tyler likes to take advantage of the nice days and will often drag Ethan out for a morning run-Tyler carries tissues in case Ethan reacts badly to the pollen-During the day, Ethan loves to take pictures of the flowers and the baby ducklings-He always gets too close to the young birds and the parents will angrily chase him so he jumps on Tyler like “run fucking run”-Tyler is actually surprisingly good at making flower crowns and bracelets and will pick buttercups and daisies to string them together-Tyler will also bring him actual bouquets of flowers -When the wind picks up, the cherry blossoms will fly everywhere like snow and they’ll sit under the trees while Chica happily runs around-Them kissing under all the blooming trees-After a movie date they’ll come to the park when it’s like dark and stuff because they can see the stars and it’s very quiet and peaceful-Ethan secretly still plays Pokemon Go but you can hear the little ding whenever an egg cracks and he gets all flustered about it like “aaa sorry” but Tyler just kind of takes his phone out to show that he also has the app running-Tyler pushes Ethan on the swing set and sometimes they’ll sit in one of those spinning things and see how fast they can make it go-If the forecast says that there will be rain, Tyler will bring an umbrella for them to share -When it just rains without warning they just kind of flit from tree to tree and they laugh a lot about it and when they get home they towel each other dry

Summer-Ethan just wants to stay inside with the air conditioning because he’s still not used to hot summers-Tyler makes them go out anyway, especially if he knows that Ethan will have a busy day recording ahead of him-Tyler makes sure Ethan is absolutely covered in sunscreen so that blue boy doesn’t burn-Ethan complaining about it a lot and refuses to let anything touch him because he is sticky and feels like the sun is out to kill him-Tyler always packs a picnic with like sandwiches and cool drinks-Ethan finds the absolute shadiest/coolest spot in the whole park and demands that they lay the blanket down there-Tyler gets really calm when it’s hot so he’ll immediately take a nap shirtless and sometimes Ethan takes a nap with him but he usually stays awake to watch Chica-Ethan has one of those handheld tourist fans (that don’t really do anything and are scams tbh) pointed at his face 24/7-He lives for those small refreshing breezes-Tyler’s actually lowkey really scared of bees and fireflies so he’ll quickly move away if one gets too close-Meanwhile Ethan’s over here, letting them land on his skin and trying to convince Tyler that they won’t hurt him-Tyler buys them ice cream and Ethan’s trying to eat his as fast as he cans because it melts so quickly-Tyler’s like “this is why I got my ice cream in a cup” but Ethan argues that it’s not a proper scoop without a waffle cone-The sun sets really late in the day so they stay out a lot longer than usual-Sometimes the park has like? An outdoor movie thing? That they’ll go to at night and it’s really cute

Autumn-Eth and Ty enjoying the leaves, taking pictures of each other in it, making leaf piles-Tyler makes leaf crowns for himself because he thinks they suit him better than flower crowns-Chica likes the leaves too-During fall harvest festivals they go to those market things and buy autumn things-Ethan makes Tyler buy him the biggest pumpkin and they eat squash soup or whatever-Tyler buys those apples that taste the best in autumn and he makes his own apple cider out of them-Ethan and Tyler on a hay ride and Ethan just tosses the shit everywhere-Ethan gets too excited about Halloween tbh he starts singing the songs in September -Pumpkin carving feat tythan in which Ethan aims for a scary face design and Tyler aims for like. A graveyard landscape-Tythan going out to stores to pick out decorations and costumes for each other-They get a couple costume because they’re cute like that (what ship though that’s the question I’m a big fan of Harley!Ethan but?? oh I knOW THEY TOTALLY COSPLAY AS SPIDEYPOOL because!!! Idk with the size difference I think it fits pretty good and ye acrobatic Ethan and heart of gold Tyler)-Ethan being on a sugar high after eating all of the carefully sorted Halloween candy and Tyler’s just like pls it’s five go to bed-Tythan getting ready for thanksgiving, just cooking together and stuff-They try to make everything from scratch because it’s more fun tbh-Tyler has a “kiss the cook” apron and he’s always pulling Ethan away when blue boy tries to taste the gravy or apple pies or whatever-Ethan runs off with the cranberry sauce -Thankful boys-Walks in the park in the crisp autumn air in which the strong wind blows leaves everywhere -Um idk if this happens in America but in Germany the young ones come out en masse and collect a bunch of chestnuts so I just want Ethan dragging Tyler out and forcing him to hold like a wicker basket while Ethan just excitedly darts around and comes back with armfuls of chestnuts-“I’m not helping you prepare these” sure Tyler

Winter-Ethan and Tyler cuddled up in blankets with mugs of hot chocolate (this is canon though bless)-Chica enjoying the snow!! Ethan enjoying the snow (they both like catching snowflakes on their tongue)!! Tyler not enjoying the snow because he is cold but as long as Ethan’s there he’s happy-Ethan is always pelting Tyler with snowballs and making snow angels and entire armies of snowmen -Ethan makes a big snowman and just puts a beanie on it “it’s you Tyler”-Them going ice skating over the frozen lake and Tyler being a very cautious boy while Ethan’s doing all of these tricks and going really fast because ice skating is big in Maine and he’s acrobatic I recommend him for figure skating-Ethan holds Tyler’s hand like “it’s okay” but then he just drags him along because it’s easy on ice and Tyler’s like !!!!! Too fast-Ethan’s nose and cheeks turning a lovely shade of pink in the cold-Ethan steals Tyler’s beanies during the winter to keep his ears warm and buys both of them scarves with pictures of cacti or doggos on them-Does America have Christmas markets? Idk but it’s basically like a bunch of outdoor stalls where you can buy a lot of things like semi precious stones and intricate wooden boxes and glass bird figurines and honey candles and there’s always Christmas music playing and a constant smell of Glühwein and frying Kartoffelpuffer it’s great-But anyway tythan going to one of these and they hold hands while they browse the stalls-They find a lot of cool things so basically Christmas shopping for the gang-Mark’s house is honestly filled to the brim with mistletoe because they’re all little shits. The mistletoe is legit everywhere you can’t walk two steps without encountering another bushel of it (there’s some in the fridge too why)-Tythan decorating the tree!!! And explaining the story behind specific ornaments because many ornaments will usually have some story tied to it-Ethan excitedly running down to the stairs with Chica on Christmas morning and Tyler’s really tired like pls why-New Years kisses!-Ethan sledding down a hill and falling on his ass and when Tyler laughs at him Eth tries to tackle him so just laughing boys rolling around in the snow -Tyler just wants winter to end tbh because while he’s a fan of the winter Starbucks flavors he doesn’t like the cold

[flower-mist]

Ur gonna hate me but all of the crayon asks. Have fun!!!

*inhales* bOI

(ily)

answers are under the readmore bc l o n g

Macaroni and Cheese: What makes you think of your childhood?

crayons, ofc! also 2000s music (esp disney), yearbook photos, capri suns, those ice pop things that come in clear plastic, cedar point, the kid’s fantasy section at barnes and noble, i could keep talking for like 12 years

Spring Green: How do you relax when you’re stressed?

i read! i read so, so much. writing also helps, but it’s hard to make myself do it bc Issues™. i also watch an excessive amnt of john oliver

Asparagus: What’s an unpopular opinion you have?

listen, hot sauce on mac in cheese is so good

Bittersweet: Has someone you loved ever hurt you?

h*ck yeah 

Eggplant: Explain your url and avatar.

my url is a flower that means courage! and my avatar is that flower

Outer Space: Do you ever feel like you’re an outcast from others?

H*CK YEAH

Cotton Candy: What is your favorite dessert?

i will eat approximately 50 macarons if no one stops me 

Freckle: Do you have any marks on your skin? How do you feel about them?

i have a birthmark and a scar on my back from when i slid down a wall (long story) and freckles! idk i like all of them i guess, as much as i can like my body

Shocking Pink: Is there a trait that you have that others don’t expect from you?

when ppl first meet me they never expect me to swear as much as i do, idk why

Robin’s Egg Blue: If you were an animal, which one do you think would you be?

probably a cat? i took a test once and it told me i was a dik dik but like,, i want to be able to protect people, so a lion or a fox or smth would be chill

Granny Smith Apple: What’s something everyone else likes that you don’t?

WHY DO YOU ALL LIKE PEANUT BUTTER I DON’T UNDERSTAND

Dandelion: What’s a pet peeve of yours?

i rly rly rly don’t like the sound of people eating tho idk whether to file that under “sensory issue” or “pet peeve”

Atomic Tangerine: What gets you motivated to do a difficult task?

a time restriction, someone i care a lot about depending on it, spite

Wisteria: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

im really really good at writing gothic post style things

Candy Apple: How do you think others view you?

l m a o y i k e s 

Plum: Are you insecure about anything?

im insecure about everything but one of the places im most insecure is whether or not people like me

Sky Blue: Where do you feel the most at home?

with the people i love most

Tickle Me Pink: How do you try to cheer others up when they’re sad?

being there to listen, sending them cute animals or memes, writing things for them, etc

Wild Strawberry: Do you care what others think about you?

wayyyy too much

Glossy Grape: Recommend something to your followers.

WATCH VOLTRON PLS I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABT IT

World Wide Web Yellow: What was the last thing you looked up?

“john oliver”

Shadow Blue: Do you have a darker side to you that most people are unaware of?

im not really sure what “darker” means but probably?

Electric Lime: What genre of music do you listen to?

literally everything tho im not super into hardcore country

Night Owl: Describe a very interesting dream that you had.

i rarely remember my dreams but one time i was definitely on a quest to save the world and i broke into a building via a roof

that’s all i remember abt it

Cornflower: What do you think about the most?

dogs and how much i love them

Grasshopper Green: Describe the area where you live.

my dad’s house is part of a complex of town homes. all the houses are very white, and there’s neatly trimmed park areas in between. my favorite part of this area is by the highway where the wildflowers grow. they cut down the last of the woods last year

Misty Moss: Is there anything you regret?

yes

Tiny Toad Brown: Do you find beauty in something that people consider to be ugly or undesirable?

snakes are pretty!!!! dont hate on snakes!!!!!!!!! unless you have a genuine fear of them bc thats valid but don’t be petty its not cool!!!!!!!

Sunny Side Up: Do you like waking up in the mornings, or would you rather sleep in?

i love waking up in the morning but i usually mess up my sleep schedule too much to be able to do it

Kitten Gray: Do you have any pets? If so, describe them.

I HAVE TWO CATS THEY ARE LARGE AND FLUFFY AND KIND OF ACT LIKE DOGS AND NOT THAT SMART BUT I LOVE THEM SOMETIMES THEY PURR AT ME AND IM A SUCCESS

Rose Dust: Describe your aesthetic in five words or less.

stardust, honey, rain, old books (hopefully)

Timberwolf: Do you give second chances when somebody has wronged you?

depends on how far they went

Freshly Squeezed: What excites you?

literally everything im interested in bc i get super invested in things and also my friends being excited about something 

Firefly Red: What gives you purpose?

the people i love, fear, spite, laughter, ice cream

Tiny Teapot Tan: Do you consider yourself to be attractive/cute?

lmao no

im okay sometimes but like, that’s rare

Rain Drop Blue: Describe the weather outside.

it is currently cloudy as fuck and also cold

Sweet Pea Green: Do you have/want children?

i don’t think im in a place where i can make that decision for myself yet

Pussywillow: Do you like being around others, or do you like being alone?

yes and no? social situations are very draining for me bc anxiety/introversion, but i absolutely love spending time w my close friends

Jack ‘O’ Lantern Orange: What’s your biggest fear and why?

highkey not gonna talk about that on a public forum

Baby Bunny Pink: Do you look young for your age, or do you look older than you are?

one time i went to get the oil changed for my car and the person at the counter asked me if i was 12

Mystic Maroon: What confuses you, and why?

people confuse me bc 

people

Cosmic Cobalt: What’s your zodiac sign, and do you think it’s accurate?

pisces! and it’s a very very good fit for me

Petal Pink: Describe your fashion sense as well as what you’re wearing right now.

idk rn it’s mostly sweaters and plaid and converse? but my style differs a lot based on gender stuff so idkkkkkk

Mountain Meadow: Do you like taking care of others, or do you prefer being care of?

yes?

Fuzzy Duckling Yellow: Is there something from childhood that you haven’t outgrown?

literally everything i will never outgrow my childhood

Brussel Sproutlet: Do you have any unhealthy habits?

*gestures to all of me*

Razzle Dazzle Rose: Describe an ideal date.

yikes this is hard bc like

okay this is going to sound rly rly stupid but im good with almost anything just so long as im spending time with the person?

i guess doing anything that makes them comfortable/happy

that was such a non-answer, ill come up with a real one at some pt

Periwinkle: What’s something ordinary that has personal meaning to you?

my necklace is gr8

Mauvelous: Do you think you deserve a better life than you have now?

probably not

Blueberry Blue: Do you get sad easily?

h*ck yeah

Purple Mountains Majesty: How does someone earn your respect?

by treating others with respect and kindness

holy shit that was so many but thank u!!!

jonathon took all of these so here are more questions if you want to ask some

[bobskiii87-blog]

‘Alcohol Makes You Stupid': Gaspar Noé Sums Up His New Film ‘Climax’

This article contains spoilers for Climax and The House That Jack Built.

With his formally bold, often violent and drug-fueled movies, the Argentinian filmmaker Gaspar Noé has been shocking cinemagoers for years. Following the traumatizing Irréversible (2002), the trippy Enter The Void (2009), and the daringly explicit Love (2015), this year sees his return to the Cannes Film Festival with Climax. Co-produced and co-financed by Vice Studios, the film is a techno musical set entirely at a dance rehearsal space in Paris. Shot in 15 days, Climax sees an assortment of real-life dancers losing their minds over the course of the film due to a mysteriously-spiked sangria. What begins as a fun trip quickly descends into a surreal and exhilarating cautionary tale.

VICE talked to Noé at Cannes, where the film recently screened in the Quinzaine des Realisateurs ("Directors' Fortnight") section, and won Noé the Art Cinema Award, the top prize in the section. During our conversation, the director talked about his love of dance, the dangers of drugs and alcohol, and his refusal to do what is expected of him.

VICE: How did you get the idea for the film? Gaspar Noé: It was a bit like for Irréversible. Sometimes you set up a lot of different projects at once—ideas for a documentary film, for a film about a bad shamanic trip, for not a musical. I can’t stand musicals, but I love dance because it’s a corporeal language that can be so rich and sometimes so unusual. Some dancers, like the ones I’ve filmed, really hypnotize me. I love looking at them. And to make a successful film, you have to love the people you’re filming, so I thought of a film with just dancers and in a context of petty crime. I got the idea at the end of December, and in early January we started preparing the film.

That’s fast! Yeah, we got it ready in four weeks, we did the casting, and we shot it in 15 days in February. So from A-to-Z, the film was pre-produced, shot, and post-produced in four months.

Is that the fastest feature production you’ve ever done? Yeah, and today’s technologies allow you to edit the sound and the image so much faster than before. If I had shot the film years ago on film, it would have been a lot different.

Did you do a lot of rehearsals with the dancers? No, and we got a choreographer that had been recommended by Sofia Boutella but she arrived the Wednesday before shooting, then rehearsed Thursday and Friday with 15 of the 21 dancers. Six more arrived only on Monday morning and she integrated them, and we shot that opening sequence that same night, on that Monday. We had no time, all was done urgently.

Are they professional dancers? No, they’re kids between 18 to 23 years old and they only do sorts of krump dance-offs or voguing balls! A lot of the dancers were straight, the voguing dancers were mostly gay, so I brought together dancers from different families. At first, the voguers were suspicious. They were like, “What is this film? You’re mixing together krumpers and waackers?” But as soon as the shoot started, they respected each other so much that it made it all the better, since it’s not one style of dancing but several.

That’s what we see in the first sequence, which is so great. A lot of people have said it’s their favorite sequence, and that they’d never seen that in American dancing.

There were some dance styles that I’d never heard of—I didn’t know krump. Krump is on the rise. It’s more men that dance it. And waacking is kind of the feminine response to krump. There’s also a dance from France called electro; that was a group of five dancers including the one character called David, played by Romain Guillermic. I had also seen videos of a Congolese contortionist called Snake. We managed to find him through Facebook and we got him a visa and made him come from the Congo. At first I didn’t know how many characters would be coming from foreign countries. I was thinking that maybe half of the dancers would be, but in the end only three are foreigners. And I also thought that there would be more Caucasian girls, because if you go looking into that type of dance, they are rarely white people. It turns out that black and mixed-race people make up more than half of the cast because I picked them according to their talent as dancers, and their sympathy. Some of them were so nice that I was like, “Let’s see what we can improvise together.” I just wanted to film them!

Courtesy of Wild Bunch

The film is a real showcase for a youth scene that we rarely see in cinema, especially the French youth but also foreign. Yeah, it’s a bit like the French soccer team! There a very few Caucasians there! But that’s the reality. If you go look for these dancers, most of them live in the banlieues ("suburbs"), have no money, and have those dance battles once per month where they explode. Those are killer! Sometimes they even look like ritual dances, from like Haiti or African countries.

Your camera is so joyous when it is on the dancers. I did all the camerawork myself! Benoit Debie did the lighting, but I was always carrying the camera running after the dancers! But yeah, a film is like a ghost train: you know nothing bad will happen to you! The first part of the film is like a happy rollercoaster, and then you get to the scary part. Even when I saw Lars von Trier’s film [The House That Jack Built] last night, there were loads of violent sequences but I couldn’t stop laughing—because you just know that it’s a film, and the kids that get shot in the film, they’re not dead! You know that the duckling didn’t actually get his legs cut off! You know that no one got hurt during shooting, and that’s why it’s joyous too. It’d be so awful if it were a documentary!

In this first sequence, the relationship between all the dancers is so idyllic, but as the film goes on, everything breaks down. Alcohol makes you stupid… Everyone says wine is the blood of Jesus, and maybe it opens up your mind when you have two glasses, but when you have two bottles, most people become stupid. They have blackouts, they become cruel towards everyone, they become aggressive. For me, my worst memories of collective or personal tragedies are all linked to alcohol abuse. Alcohol makes you stupid, stupid, stupid!

And drugs too? Some drugs make you more stupid than others, but there are some that put you to sleep and others that wake you up. For instance, people who take cocaine become so pretentious, you just want to shove them in a cupboard so that they can look at themselves in a mirror!

There can also be a more political reading of the film, since at the end, it’s the German girl who "wins"… It’s the Nazi who wins! A tall, blonde, Aryan girl…

It’s a bit strange to see things end badly for these young people who are at first so happy. Do you not have much hope for the youth or for the future of France? It’s more about human beings, whatever the color of their skin or their nationality. Before being a person, man is an animal, with all its reptilian compulsions. And if at some point you block the conscious part of the mind, you’ve got all the reptilian compulsions that come out. It’s like in [Sam] Peckinpah or [Stanley] Kubrick movies—they start from the idea that the reptilian brain is the strongest of the three brains. You got the hypophysis, which is the reptilian brain. Then you have a second one, the mammalian brain, which is the one that makes you protect your kids and your social group. And then, the neocortex allows you to talk and to plan for the future, to build cathedrals, etc. Alcohol kind of switches off the other two, and all you’ve got left is the reptilian brain, which is about dominance and survival instinct, and therefore about sexuality and reproduction.

You mention Peckinpah, but at the beginning of the film, we see this television surrounded by VHSs of Possession (1981), Suspiria (1977), some other horror films, and some books. These are all the films and the books I would watch and read about 30 years ago. Some people have told me they recognize my personal collection.

We also recognize motifs from Possession in the film itself. Yeah, all these films I loved in the 1990s. Possession is a great film, and Romero’s Dawn of the Dead (1978), which all takes place in a closed environment, is a bit like in my film…

What did you tell the actors to prepare them? I told them not to prepare, but I showed them loads of videos of people under the influence of crack, of LSD, all kinds of drugs, and we made a playlist of those videos of these people completely fucked up and dancing. So for the end of the film, I asked the dancers if they could dance in such a deconstructed or psychotic way. We trained to act crazy!

Since they’re all dancers, I can imagine that they’re very much aware of their bodies. They are, and they’re also very playful, they love to play.

Courtesy of Wild Bunch

It’s kinda perfect to have them play people who are high. Yeah, although I made the mistake, I think on the second day of shooting, of giving them alcohol to wake them up because they were starting to get tired. But afterwards, they were just like drunks who can’t walk straight! So I stopped that very quickly, and we started giving them only coffee and eventually playing some pieces of music that excited them. In the end, the best way to wake them up was to ask Kiddy Smile [who plays "Daddy" in the film] to take the decks for 20 minutes and to make them dance like crazy. After that we were able to shoot for two more hours, then had another break with music that wasn’t related to the film.

That’s reassuring! So there's a bit of a dichotomy between dance as a way of expression and drugs that destroy that. It’s one thing to use drugs recreationally, knowingly, with the correct dose, and another thing to have something put in your drink against your will, when you don’t know neither what it is, nor if you’re overdosed. The same thing that can be pleasant can turn nightmarish if it’s a forced experience.

It’s interesting how your films often have drug use and its consequences. Maybe it’s because I live in Paris and know so many people like that! And in Berlin, it’s even worse. The number of people I know who went to Berlin to be creative because they had funding, and after six months said, “I can’t take it anymore, everyone is high on ketamine, on ecstasy, 24/7!" That’s why it made me laugh that the pretty blonde girl would be from Berlin and that she’d inject drugs through her eyes!

It’s also interesting how in the end, your films often present a rather negative view of drugs, yet when people think about your films, they think of them as amazing trips… I don’t promote drug abuse—I’m not a crook! With both alcohol and drugs, there’s good and bad, you gotta know how to manage them. The problem is, if it’s you who’s riding the horse, you’re good, but if it’s the horse that’s riding you, your butt hurts!

I love the series of scenes where only two characters talk to each other. That was totally improvised. One after the other, anytime we had a minute, I was telling the dancers to come and talk about the others for those asides. I asked them to gossip, to say good and bad things about the others, to talk about depression… I was throwing ideas at them and just recording, and because I shot in digital, I could film for 20 or 30 minutes without interruption. After awhile, they were getting more comfortable, and I was telling them to try and be as funny or as cruel as possible, so they had fun improvising on a bunch of topics. Afterwards, I kept the best bits. The one I had the hardest time cutting was between Cyborg and his friend. I had, like, 25 minutes of dialogue, and it was the last thing I edited because everyone was telling me it was too much. Finally I cut out four-fifths of it and it broke my heart! Because it was fucking hilarious!

This conversation is amazing, too, because it’s hard to know how serious they are… They’re playing the bad guys yet they don’t want to harm anyone!

How did you get the idea to do those asides? I wanted to introduce those people, because it’s different to introduce yourself in front of a camera for a job in front of the choreographer like at the beginning of the film, and another thing to be a bit comfortable and have the human tensions in the group show. You see there are rivalries, desires, frustrations…

It really makes the film into a snapshot of today’s youth that we rarely see. Yes, and I liked how the American publications said that it shows that I have a lot of love for all the characters. It’s true! For me, there isn’t one in the bunch that is better than the others. Even the character of Selva, played by Sofia Boutella, has two faces, and you see that she tries her best, she has good intentions, but as soon as alcohol and that mysterious product get to her head, she becomes extremely cruel with the boy who’s supposed to be her lover.

But him too, he’s horrible! And he’s the only white man… Yeah, and he’s a bit of an extension of all the male characters I’ve had. In Irréversible, you have Vincent Cassel who plays a dude with a shaved head, then in Enter The Void you had another one, and in Love you also have Karl Glusman who played a guy who ran after his dick with his shaved head! I feel like for me, that’s really the prototype of the guy who’s kind of nice but only thinks about his dick…

The film is called Climax, so everyone expected there to be a lot of sex. Climax isn’t just sex!

But I think that people, after Love, expected something different… I found that really funny! The word can have a sexual connotation, so people may have expected to see some explicit sex sequences, but it was never gonna be the case at all!

Did you consciously decide to put less sex in this film? Was it in answer to Love ? You don’t want to make the same film again. Plus, there was an erect penis in I Stand Alone (1998), there were some more in Irréversible, there were some in almost all my films, so that was the main reason. It had diverted the attention so much from Love, too, especially with the American press who was like, “Why did you show a male sex [organ]?” As if there was a difference between the ear of a man and his hand or his dick! You see, I didn’t want the press to once again focus on that alone. But maybe in the next one I’ll put back some sex scenes!

Sign up for our newsletter to get the best of VICE delivered to your inbox daily.

Follow Manuela Lazic on Twitter.

This article originally appeared on VICE US.

from VICE https://ift.tt/2GtoPNX via https://ift.tt/2hybfwu